#return of the killer tomatoes

[fanofspooky]

Scream King - John Astin

Requested by @sexymonstersupercreep

[beardedmrbean]

Movie time

[soupy-sez]

RETURN OF THE KILLER TOMATOES (1988) dir. John De Bello

[feebadrawba]

everyone in the world should watch attack of the killer tomatoes

[writerswho]

Enid and Wednesday watching Return of the Killer Tomatoes and Wednesday saying, "look, it's my grandfather" when John Astin pops up on the screen. 

[aragarna]

The Bonkers Challenge

tagged by @theancientvaleofsoulmaking

Rules: If you wanna participate, reccomend 4 movies that are weird but you enjoy. After reccomending, you must pick one film (That you haven't seen) from each participant's recommendations. You will watch and give your thoughts on your chosen films.

Original thread here.

I might not watch one movie from each previous participant, but I will try to watch one from the person who tagged me. So it'll be Bill (2014), as I've seen your 3 other recs (albeit it was all ages ago!)

And here are my recs. They are Very Bonkers!

Return of the Killer Tomatoes

People often make fun of George Clooney for starting his career with such a B-movie, but mind you, it's not just a B-movie, it's THE B-movie. It's weird, low budget, and, well, bad, but they know it, and they actually make fun of it, in a million ways. The script is actually smarter than it looks. All the way to the post-credit scene! And yes, George Clooney makes pizzas.

Batman, The Movie (1966)

Not unlike the previous one, this movie is a parody of itself in a hilarious way. It's stupid and funny at the same time. Holy movie, Batman! Superheroes sure used to not take themselves too seriously. Also, I can't hear any scientist mentioning "heavy water" without bursting out laugh, because of that movie.

Hunt for the Wilderpeople

Okay, something more serious and more recommendable for a change, if you're interested in actual A-movies. Taika Waititi doesn't really need introduction anymore, since he's become such a big shot, but this movie, despite not being his most famous, is actually my favorite of his. Probably because it has a sincerily and authenticity to it. A grumpy old man and a grumpy young kid get to know each other, which someone softens them both.

Burn After Reading

I could pick a dozen of Coen brothers movies, and originally thought of O Brother (as a Great Depression AU of the Odysseus, it absolutely qualifies as "bonkers" I believe) but since I often rec that one as part of my favorite movies list, I decided to pick another of the Coen brothers crazy movies. As often with the Coens, a couple of idiots get caught up in a story bigger than them and it all goes South, really fast. It's crazy for sure, with a stellar cast, and Brad Pitt in what might be his greatest role XD

tagging @amalthea9 @ascreamintothevoid-blog @thesymphonytrue @silverfoxstole @penna-nomen @donfadrique @whirlwind-lancer-dilan and whoever else wants to share some bonkers movies!

happy watching!

[movieposters1]

[nemospecific]

I wish I could clip this but in Return of the Killer Tomatoes where the screen actors guild union rep shows up and insists that everyone who speaks on camera gets paid. That's some good stuff.

[argocitycosplay]

Return of the Killer Tomatoes

Killer Tomatoes franchise Nearly ten years after Attack of the Killer Tomatoes faded into obscurity something strange happened. Clips from the movie appeared on an episode of the Saturday morning cartoon Muppet Babies. The Henson cartoon was frequently using clips of old and unknown films, integrating them into the Muppet’s fantasies, but this one was enough to rekindle some interest in Killer…

[goryhorroor]

horror sub-genres: campy

[thedrillerkiller]

Thanks and I need to check out the other 6 movies because I don’t think I’ve seen them

Thanks for the tag @thedrillerkiller! Here are 7 of my comfort movies:

Anybody out there who feels like doing this, feel free to consider yourself tagged. :)

[soupy-sez]

RETURN OF THE KILLER TOMATOES (1988) dir. John De Bello

[housefreak]

so cringe to put two bad hellraiser sequels and halloween ends on my favorites list but like. they bewitched me for better and absolutely for worse

[cuddleprofiler]

AN AFTERNOON AT HOME - A rare noon where you & Hotch are home

Word Count: 1.8k approx

Genre: Fluff

A/N: Thanks @ssa-dado for giving the idea that ended up being the inspiration for this fic. Positive Criticism is welcomed.

The aroma of food distracted you from your interesting book, making you get lost in the amazing aroma coming from the kitchen of your and Aaron's shared apartment. You swear this man has magic in his hands! The level of cooking he achieves can put even the most brilliant chefs to shame, including his own brother, Sean. You have been to many restaurants around here and in your hometown, but aside from your parents, no one has come so close to touching your heart with their cooking.

You closed your eyes and inhaled the scent, and before you realize it, a smile has automatically graced your face. What you didn't realize was that Aaron was watching you, alternating between stirring pots and stealing glances your way. His eyes sparkled at the sight of your soft smile before he returned his focus to the task at hand.

Slowly, you stood up, eyes now open. After placing a bookmark in your book, you moved toward the kitchen where your dashing boyfriend was preparing lunch. You stood at the threshold, marvelling at the man who was the Unit Chief of the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit, responsible for profiling notorious killers. He often maintained a serious demeanour, grumpy and stern in his professional life—but look at him now.

Moving into the kitchen with such ease, he bounced on his steps as he danced to the soft music he had set up. The volume was perfectly set for a cosy afternoon with your loved one. While he was busy, he bobbed his head lightly to the rhythm of the song.

His dark brown hair, always kept neat and perfect, now had some unkempt strands that bounced with him, making him look younger. They moved rhythmically with each motion, catching the light and adding an effortless charm to his every step. The tousled waves flowed around his face, framing it with a playful energy that was rare in your professions. Also, his stress-free demeanour always made him look young.

You tiptoed into the kitchen, as quietly as possible, aware of his big ears that could hear everything within a hundred meters. You stood right behind him and snuck your arms around his waist, burying your face in his back.

“So, what are you making for lunch?”

Your voice came out slightly muffled and soft, but Hotch understood you perfectly.

He turned you around gently and hugged you, burying his head in your hair and inhaling the fragrance of your shampoo that made you uniquely you. He smiled into your hair. When he pulled back lightly, still keeping his arms looped around your lower back, you looked up at him.

“It’s a grilled cheese sandwich, egg salad, sushi, and tomato soup—your favorite,” he said proudly.

He lifted you onto the counter while continuing his culinary endeavours. You frowned and shot him a playful glare. Feeling your gaze, he looked up and returned your glare with an innocent smile. You couldn't help but smile back at his antics. If anyone from the team saw this side of him, you’d definitely have to call an ambulance—for Pen and Morgan, without a doubt!

“You should have made your favourite too,” you said, pouting at his habit of putting you first.

“My favourite is you. Besides, I can eat anything,” he replied cheerfully.

“But that doesn’t mean you have to.”

“When I cook, I promise to make all your favourites,” you said after a moment.

Aaron snorted. “I appreciate the sentiment, honey, but I’m not letting you cook in my kitchen. No way.”

“Why not?” you asked, confusion lacing your tone.

“Do I need to remind you of all the disasters you’ve caused in this kitchen?” He raised an eyebrow.

“I’m pretty sure even criminals wouldn’t have suffered as much in jail as you have in this poor kitchen,” he added playfully.

You lightly swatted his chest.

“Ow! That hurt,” he said, feigning injury while dramatically rubbing his chest.

“It was meant to,” you replied with a laugh.

You took the plates after he set them up perfectly, as he liked to do. Sometimes, it was hard to reconcile this version of him with the serious professional you saw at work, but you both craved this normalcy in your lives.

Sometimes, cases hit too close to home. The relentless stream of tragic news can overwhelm even the strongest souls. After hearing the details, all you felt was a chilling numbness settling in your chest, growing into something deeper than you cared to admit. It often left you drifting away from your surroundings into a darkness that expanded with the horrors you had witnessed.

In those moments, you longed for a sense of normalcy like that of civilians, something to ground you. You yearned for good memories, moments that could lift you from the shadows. You gently shook your head when you felt Aaron sit next to you on the couch.

“You really love this movie,” he remarked, glancing at the screen.

“Not more than you.”

“You must have seen it at least a thousand times,” he said, waiting for you to queue it up so you could begin lunch.

“Yeah, but it’s just so good.”

“Even if she's a bit?”

“Yeah—no, not that part! But the way Laney and Zach look at each other and care for one another just melts my heart. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME!” you exclaimed enthusiastically.

“Okay, okay,” he said, laughing lightly.

After finishing lunch, you and Aaron settled back on the couch, watching the remainder of the movie while cuddling. He ran his fingers through your hair, tucking stray strands behind your ears. Your fingers clutched the fabric of his t-shirt as your head rested on his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat.

“Hey, I’ll be in my office for a bit,” he said, attempting to extricate himself from your hold.

“Today is a day off, Hotch. Relax! You always stress over these things,” you replied in a playful tone, refusing to let him go.

“Don’t call me Hotch at home, sweetheart.” He chuckled at your habit of using his last name at home and his first name at work.

“It slipped! I swear it’s second nature to call you that.”

“Then it should be something you call me the least.”

“What should I call you, then?”

“How about ‘My Man’?” he teased, knowing well that you had saved that name for him in your phone.

“How do you know about that?” you asked, puzzled, as a smile grew on your face seeing his. No one knows about this except the girls who saw it on girls' night when you were too drunk to hide it. They have teased you since then mercilessly.

“I have my ways.”

When he came out of the office, or “cave” as you liked to call it, he was met with a mesmerizing sight. He smiled softly and moved toward you to observe your beautiful and happy face more. He would be lying if he said he could get enough of it. This lifetime will be less for that, he mused in his head.

You were lying on your side, breathing softly. Curled up on the couch, you looked peaceful, your soft features illuminated by the warm glow of the afternoon sun. Your hair cascaded over the cushions in loose waves, a few strands falling delicately across your face. You looked so free that it warmed his heart. The gentle rise and fall of your chest added to the serene atmosphere.

He placed your hand, which was falling off the sofa, on your stomach and moved you to be more comfortable. He then got under the blanket covering you and slid his arm around your shoulder, bringing you closer to him. He kissed your cheek as you turned around and nuzzled your face into his chest, inhaling his intoxicating scent and falling asleep, thinking about him.

When he woke, the room was dim, indicating it was late. He glanced at you, still sleeping peacefully.

“Honey, wake up,” he said, running his hand gently up and down your forearm.

“Wake up. It’s evening!” he tried again, knowing how much you loved to sleep.

“I’m tired.”

“No, you’re not.”

“Okay, I want to sleep.”

“Get up! You can sleep later,” he urged, offering a compromise; otherwise, you might miss dinner.

You resisted getting up, but Aaron wasn’t letting you go. You tried shifting in the other direction, but he always pulled you back. You also didn’t like the cold sensation that came with moving away from him.

“Don’t give me that grumpy face. You say it’s my job to do that.”

“Aaron…”

You slowly opened your eyes, and the first thing you saw was Hotch, his chocolate brown eyes looking sleepily at you. His hair was a tousled mess, strands sticking out in all directions, creating an unruly halo around his head. The usually sleek locks were now slightly tousled and frizzy, giving him a charming, boyish look. A few stubborn curls fell across his forehead, remnants of sleep clinging to the tips, adding to his dishevelled appeal.

You smiled brightly and kissed him on the nose; he looked so cute that you couldn’t resist. You kissed him again and again on the nose and cheeks until you heard his rare laughter ringing out, making you laugh in joy as well.

Now, after dinner, you both lay on the lawn, stargazing. Well, you were stargazing while Hotch’s whole focus was on you. You shared facts about constellations and stars, drawing from your own knowledge and Spencer’s insightful talks.

“And that’s Procyon. It’s located in the constellation Canis Minor,” you said, pointing at the sky.

“You know, love, Spencer told me it was known as the Dog Star of Canis Minor in ancient times, complementing Sirius, the Dog Star of Canis Major,” you added, rambling excitedly about your love for stars.

“It’s amazing how everything has such meaningful names. What do you think?” you asked, turning to him. You expected him to be looking at the sky, but instead, his gaze was fixed on you. You could feel your breaths mingling, making you a little dizzy. Your eyes locked, and with every second, you felt more lost in the depths of each other's eyes.

“I think you’re beautiful,” he finally said, his gaze unwavering.

“And?”

“And the moonlight highlights your already captivating features.”

“And?”

“I want to kiss you,” he admitted, a hint of longing in his voice.

“What’s stopping you?” you challenged playfully.

Under the soft glow of outdoor lights illuminating both your faces, Hotch leaned in and captured your lips. The kiss was tender and soft, a reminder of the life you shared outside the chaos. It felt like a gentle breeze heralding the beginning of winter. He cradled your face as your hands danced along his jawline, leaving you both grinning as if you had uncovered something extraordinary. In that moment, you were wrapped in intimacy and joy, cocooned from the outside world, envisioning an infinite future together.

[cranberryjuice-posts]

No good thing last’s and you’re the best..

Parings - Abby Anderson X Fem! Veterinarian reader

Tw- the slur dyke is used (I’m a lesbian I can say it) , uhh some angst idk

Synopsis - Abby loves you.. but she’s to scared of her what people will think of her

Abby laid with you in the small single sized mattress. The snow was softly covering the ground outside, the curtains were pulled over the large window inside her tiny apartment so you had the most privacy that she could offer.

“Uh huh.. so issacs top scar killer just so happened to forget to turn her dog in today right” you playfully chastised Abby for keeping Alice after hours. Her blonde hair was locked around your fingers with your faces close.

“Just because I have that dumb title doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to forget shit” she joked back and lightly kissed you, She squeezed your hip as she did. You moaned as Abby added tongue and giggled knowing where this was going— however your sensual moment was abruptly ended when Abby pushed you off of her and quickly got out of the bed when the front door of the apartment opened, stepping inside Owen, mel, Nora, and manny.

“Speaking of the devil” mel smiled. “Hey Abby”

Abby nodded and looked back at you for a moment. You stood up and fixed your shirt trying to make the scene look like you two were just hanging out.

The group started talking and began setting up to have a movie night together. Manny had found a three pack of the first scream movies on his patrol out. You rolled your eyes as manny started to share theory’s about what the movie would be like with Owen while Alice was snuggling up to Mel and Nora going through everything for the night.

“Shit..” Norah sighed. “I forgot lettuce and tomatoes for the burgers back at the cafeteria” she shook her head. Abby’s face seemed to brighten.

“Get started on the movie yeah, me and y/n will go grab it” she offered. Norah tried to say it was fine but Abby insisted. “Common we’ll be right back” she chuckled and walked out the door with you following behind.

——

The two of you walked in silence for a moment, neither wanting to talk about what the other was thinking.

Abby looked over. “I love you”

“Great” You spoke in a flat unamused Tone.

“Common babe please don’t do this” she grabbed your arm and pulled you aside into a lesser known hallway. You scruntched your nose and pulled away but ultimately failed as Abby was stronger. “I love you y/n I’m serious”

“No Abby.. you love covering your ass” you pulled your arm free and stepped back giving each-other space.. space Abby hated.

“Y/n—“

“I love you to Abby but it fucking hurts that your so ashamed to be gay.. you tell me how you can’t stand to be away from me and if you could you would give me the world but the second someone else is around your to fucking scared to say I’m anything but a friend.. if you want a friend just say that, I don’t have sex with friends” you turned and started to walk down the stairs.. once you two grabbed the extra condiments and returned back to the room you could tell your words had actually hurten Abby.

You knew how she was.. yeah being gay wasn’t really a problem I mean you were in the apocalypse for crying out loud but, you knew if people found out about Abby being a lesbian most would judge her and her reputation would slightly be tarnished.. you looked over from your spot on the floor not really caring about the girl being killed with the garage door on screen.. you could tell there was a haze in her eyes, they only did that when she was deep into thought.

Soon the group was passed out onto the floor mostly drunk tired and high.. you however were still up. And so was Abby.

You moved over and sat by Her. “I didn’t mean it..”

No response.

“Abby” your voice broke but she just grabbed your hand and looked you in the eyes.

“You.. have no idea how much I want to show you off.. I mean shit my girlfriend is the top vet in this place and she’s so insanely smart, patient  because you put up with not only mine but manny and owens bullshit but your also soft and kind” she grabbed your face and leaned into you. “I swear you know my body better than me.. no matter what you do you always make me feel more pleasure than I deserve”

Abby kissed you finally still speaking compliments against your lips. “And don’t get me started on your body.. fuck I have to retrain myself when you wear shit like this” she added as she stuck her hands under your top, Abby rested her hands on your waist and looked you in the eyes.. “I don’t deserve you”

You shook your head. “Abs.. all I want is to love you out in the open and not be thrown off you when someone walks in on us Making out” you chuckled hiding the hurt.

“I promise” she rested her forehead against yours. “I promise you I will give you the love you deserve” she squeezed your waist and kissed your temple. “It’s late and, I’d hate for you to get cold” she joked and pulled you ontop of her kissing you once again before laying back.

A couple days passed..

You were mentally complaining as you moved the heavy bags of dog food around. You carried the sack but before you knew it you lost your balance and fell… but you never hit the ground.

Standing behind you holding you with a sly smile was your favorite blonde. “Careful.. I’d hate for my favorite woman to get hurt” Abby joked and helped you stand up and grabbed the bag with easy.. you were slightly drooling over how Abby looked with her thick jacket and beanie on.

However you snapped out of it and shut the shed after Abby set the food down.. Abby looked around to make sure no one was looking before softly grabbing your waist and pulling you close to her. “You know” she spoke with that same dumb sarcastic smile that you couldn’t help but love. “Manny is gonna be out late tonight, he’s got some chick he’s gonna meet at one of his sex caves in another QZ.. so I was thinking maybe you would i don’t know maybe Wanna have a sleepover”

“We’re not 5 you can ask to hookup”

“Yeah but I wanna be a gentlewoman” she chuckled and kissed you softly.. in the corner of you eye you saw Mona, some girl in the WLF who always seemed to have a grudge out on you. You thought nothing of it, but that soon turned and bit you in the ass.

About a week later a small announcement had been made a out a winter dance. It was rare for Issac to allow you all to have a group party but no one complained when he did.

You showed up wearing something simple, just a pair of flared jeans a tanktop that showed off your figure and a nice flannel.. you could feel Abby’s eyes on you but you knew deep down she wouldn’t try to show you Any affection.. not with the crowd around.

—

By this point you were drunk and dancing with manny. “So you an abby? is there something” he questioned while spinning you but you just rolled your eyes.

“As if Abby” You paused showing some hesitation. “Abby isn’t gay she’s not into women”

“Uh huh”

“I’m serious” you chuckled and lightly hit him.

Manny laughed and shook his head. “All I’m saying is that abby looks at you like she wants to rip your clothes off.”

Before you could respond you heart a loud screeching noise, thanks to Mona grabbing the microphone from the man who was singing with a guitar.

Everyone looked over confused with some mumbling coming from a few people.

“Hello everyone” Mona spoke in a salty tone. You rolled your eyes and leaned onto manny. “As you all know Issac so graciously allowed us to have a party but what’s a party without some drama yeah” she led the crowd on and got some cheers.

“Abigail Anderson” she chided and your stomach dropped. You knew exactly where this was going. “Our favorite solider has been fucking around with Y/n the best veterinarian we have to offer” she chuckled sarcastically, everyone looked over and you could feel the harsh stares.. you knew no one would care but some of the older men and women seemed to really really disapprove.

Abby chuckled and gave a sarcastic response. “What?”

“You heard me Abby is a dyke” Mona continued. “Y/n’s her girlfriend”

You looked back at abby.. praying.. hoping she would tell them all the truth but you knew she wouldn’t. Abby just shook her head and laughed. “As if. Y/n’s great n all but I’m not gay trust me, we just happen to be good friends that’s all”

Some people scoffed and told mona to get off the stage. Abby looked over and started to walk towards you. You let go of manny however and walked out the cafeteria avoiding Abby all together.

——

An hour passed. You sat in your apartment crying when you heard a rhymthic nock one you knew was Abby. At first you didn’t want to open the door.

“Y/n let me in please..”

That’s all it took for your to cave. You opened the door and saw Abby standing out front holding a few flowers she must of stolen from the garden. “Hey pretty girl” she smiled softly and leaned forward but was pushed away by you.

You tried to shut the door but she caught it and slid in.

“We’re done” You finally spoke.

“What..” Abby’s smile fell and she set the flowers down. “Babe—“

“Get out abby.. your not gay remember” you spoke bitterly. Abby sighed and gently grabbed your hips but you pushed her away.

“You know I didn’t mean it like that” she frowned and soon realized how serious this was. “I love you y/n you know th-“

“Stop with this bullshit Abby!” You yelled with tears in your eyes. “Who gives a shit that we’re together! You always do this” your face now filled with hot tears you put a finger on Abby’s chest. “You always say you love me but never once do you actually try to prove it outside of the bedroom.. I said it once I’ll say it again. Get out” you as calmly as you could demanded.

“Y/n—“

“I don’t have sex with friends” that was the final thing you spoke to her before she walked out. You apartment never felt so empty and cold.. but if you’ve gotten use to the infected you knew you could get use to anything.

PART 2 is up!! 😋

Pt 2

[thewhumpcaretaker]

John getting drunk Santino home (Santino tripped over his own feet)

Hiiiii :3 This really veered off of the prompt aaaaaa it's not exactly the same thing, but it is filled with DRAMA!

(Also, this picture is pure gold. I think it’s saved on my Pinterest in like three places and it makes me feel something every time I see it.)

🖤💙 Walking Home 💙🖤

TW: alcohol, arguing

It was a brilliantly clear night in the streets of Rome. The cobblestones were scattered with flecks of golden lamplight and the moon perched its yellow hemisphere low on the horizon, echoing the distant domes of cathedrals. But John Wick had rarely felt his heart sit so heavily in his chest.

The evening had started off well enough. It was the third day of a getaway to Rome, which John had requested in an effort to keep Santino from working himself to death, and which Santino had agreed to because he never missed an excuse to pamper his “little guard dog”. After sleeping in and spending the day exploring museums and old shops, they’d finally ended up in a gorgeous restaurant and bar that John would never have noticed if Santino hadn’t been familiar with the area. It was there that the waiter mistook them for a married couple. John turned the same color as the tomato passata and said he thought that was very sweet. That he could picture it.

Santino disagreed. “What, you want to settle down and get married? Be serious, John.”

“And you don’t?”

He scoffed. “Me? Married? I can’t imagine a worse life, honestly. Well, I might have to marry for an alliance one day, but - ”

“You’re telling me you don’t see a future for us?”

And from there, things…escalated.

John had stormed out and found himself walking, weaving through crooked streets without really seeing them, replaying the memories of their argument over and over in his head. He winced again, thinking of the look on Santino’s face at the idea of marriage. It stabbed him right in the heart every time, to think that growing old together disgusted Santino so much. But why should he be surprised? He was just a killer, and Santino was a prince.

He found his footsteps heading for the Continental, since he had no intention of returning to the D’Antonio estate that night. Clearly this was the end of things between them. Why did he let himself get so attached in the first place? He was on a narrow, residential street that slanted downwards sharply enough to give him sight of rooftops stretching away, and to see that he was completely alone. He stopped, fought with himself for half a moment…but if he was going to break down anywhere, it might as well be here. He slumped forward into his hands and just let himself cry.

It was then that he heard someone calling his name.

“John, che - che cazzo ci fai qui? Stronzo. Devi seguirmi. [John – what the – what the fuck are you doing here? You asshole. You must be following me.]”

He opened his eyes to see the small, lithe figure that had emerged from some side street, dark curls glowing in the lamplight. He bristled and tried to wipe at his face before Santino could see anything. “I did NOT – “ but he stopped short. Something didn’t seem right about the way Santino was moving. “Are you okay?”

“Of course I am! Me and the pinot grigio made our own fun without you. We even invited the whiskey. What do…wait…are you okay?” Santino had reached him by this point and absently patted a hand against his cheek, feeling tears.

“Hey, stop it…” But John could smell the alcohol on his breath. Both anger and hurt had instantly drowned in concern.  “You’re drunk.”

“You’re crying. Don’t cry…” Santino was clingy in this state, his arms wrapping around John’s neck and his forehead butting into his chest. John didn’t know what to do with himself. The impulse was to hug him back but after the way they’d fought, he wasn’t sure he was allowed.

“Why do you care? I thought…” I thought we were broken up… “You know what, never mind. What are you doing out here? Where’s Ares?”

He pushed off of John’s chest again and stumbled a few steps. “I told her to leave me alone! Just…wanna go home…I think it was that way…” Home was not, in fact, that way.

John shuddered at the thought of the perils inherent in an important, highly recognizable man like Santino wandering unguarded through the streets, too drunk to defend himself. Guilt settled deep in his stomach. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have left like that.” He fell into step with Santino, his eyes glued to him with concern and an arm hovering behind his back in case he lost balance. “The Continental is near here. We’ll go there, get a car, find Ares. Okay?”

Santino waved a hand dismissively but he couldn’t carry the gesture at all right now. “Don’t…don’t hover! I can walk.” His shoe hit an odd cobblestone and at that steep angle, it sent him reeling forward. John caught him around the waist before he could go down. He waited to be pushed away but Santino just leaned against him, and this time John couldn’t stop himself from wrapping his arms around him. He felt so damn confused, but at least he’d rather be uncertain they were broken up than certain of it.

As if in answer to his thoughts, Santino let his weight fall against him even harder, pushing him back against a lamppost, and slurred, “Non posso essere quello che vuoi, John. Non sono... semplice. Pensi che potrei essere un marito? Guardami. Un litigio e... [I can’t be wha- you want, John. I’m not…simple. You think I could be a husband? Look at me. One fight and…]” He waved an arm across his dishevelment.

John opened his mouth to insist that he'd be a beautiful husband, even like this, but he still wasn’t done. “Vuoi che sia gentile e normale e non lo sono, ok? Sono un mostro, John. Non voglio sposarmi e vivere in qualche piccolo sobborgo a cuocere biscotti. Voglio metterti in mostra davanti alla Tavola Alta e poi sputargli in faccia. Sputare... sputare proiettili in faccia. Voglio scoparti finché... finché non sarò morto e ti amerò oltre la tomba. [You want me to be gentle and normal and I’m not, okay? I am a freak, John. I don’t want to get married and live in some little suburb baking cookies. I want to show you off in front of the High Table and then spit in their faces. Spit…spit bullets in their faces. I want to fuck you until…until I’m dead and love you beyond the grave.]”

John exhaled helplessly, beyond the powers of speech. He tipped his head back for a moment, eyes fixed on the vast chasm between the stars in a way that made him feel like he was falling upward for infinity. His hands were curled around Santino’s arm almost painfully, twisting the fabric. As soon as he found his tongue again, “È quello che voglio. Non mi interessa un pezzo di carta. E non mi interessa dove viviamo o se facciamo parte della Tavola. Non mi interessa nemmeno se avremo mai pace. Voglio TE. [That’s what I want. I don’t care about a piece of paper. And I don’t care where we live or whether we’re a part of the Table. I don’t even care if we ever have peace. I want YOU.]”

“Allora... di che cazzo stiamo discutendo? [Then…what the fuck are we arguing about?]”

John wasn’t sure which one of them started laughing first, but it wound up with lips and teeth pressed together, and Santino tugging hard on his lapels. And it ended with their gazes locked together, two stupidly sweet smiles matching the big “D” of the half moon.

He pulled Santino’s arm over his shoulder and started walking. “Come on. I’m taking you home.”