#fuuuuuck im so tired of this | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

truckstoptigers · 1 year ago

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i remember this one time when i was planning on going to my best friend's (we were 'dating' in that little kid way, where we didn't really understand that kind of thing) house

i couldn't have been older than 10 yet i dressed up the best i could, used the lipstick with the plumper in it, put on a little mascara. i knew what men liked, so surely it must be the same. this is what i am meant to do. this is the only reason people like me, right?

it was something aaron taught me

sometimes they're nicer to you if you're pretty

#not to mention that same friends father molested me. possibly several times. so </3 #were also not friends anymore. it is what it is. i missed them for a really long time but they were not good to me either #theres a lot i didnt tell them. they dont know about their dad or damien or aaron or any of the men aaron had me 'entertain'#just. realizing that this is something thats been affecting me since i was very small fucked me up #probably why i prefer not to wear makeup/revealing clothes #(not that theres anything wrong w those things. theyre just not good for me bc of association)#sometimes i wonder if their dad did more than touch me but i cant be certain right now #he was such a creep. if he was willing to do that i do genuinely worry for my ex friend & their brother #AND the baby their dad just had with his new wife. i dont trust that man even a little bit #csa vent #trauma vent #actuallyabused #fuuuuuck im so tired of this #the more i remember the more horrified i am at what i lived thru and coped with all by myself. sometimes i dont even know how i survived #like how does a child live through that shit? i just. i have no idea. breaks my heart #i mustve been so scared when their dad did that to me. another man i thought i could trust. i was so little.

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spaciebabie · 1 year ago

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i thionlk that william would be a skin picker and the only reason he would have kicked the habit would be because he got springlocked and if he picked at his "skin" (aka the suit) he would have just torn the shit ta shreds and suit cant grow back like skin so.

unfortunately hes a bunny here so that cant really happen. he picks at the area around his scars a lot i think

#fnaf #five nights at freddy's #springtrap #purple guy #springtrap fnaf #william afton #I WAS SUPPOSED 2 TAKE A NAP B4 WORK LOOK AT ME IM GONNA BE SO TIRED #FUUUUUCK #I GOT JJHYPERFIZEDATED #FUCK #anyways #spacie scribbles #have therse really really rushed doodles bye i love you #blood #blood tw

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reikeikoo · 2 months ago

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I don't want them to leave me.. ( I've often lost my friends bc my annoying behavior.. sorry.. please forgive me..i didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable.. (´∩｀。) )

#kangel #needy girl overdose #ame chan #i hatemyself #please forgive me #i hate my friends #i love my pookie #im so tired #damn it #fuck fuck fuuuuuck

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electricpurrs · 1 year ago

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i tried to go to bed but wasnt able to sleep. good meowning chat

#fuuuuuck man i may have something wrong with me #and im so tired #i have no idea what to even do rn #🧃.txt

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nuvomica · 6 months ago

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despite it all, i am more femme irl than i am not femme. and i'm grabbing everyone by the fucking shoulders. your gay ship doesn't need to have the pretty kind of twink that media spoonfeds you for rep. please, it really doesn't. please. PLEASE. PLEASEEEEE

#at the very LEAST make your twinks ratty horrible greasy freaks. PLEASE IM DYING OUT HERE IM REALLY DYING #Im so tired of americanised white beauty standards in my queer spaces please FUUUUUCK

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siveine · 2 months ago

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i think im so nervous about finishing my contract because i wont know what to do with myself afterwards. like, sure theyve forgotten about me and nearly abandoned me, and im quite literally being used then thrown away, but after i get my discharge papers im going to be without purpose again and i dont know if i can do it a second time

#i dont want to stay in cause fuuuuuck that #if im gonna be a meat shield for corporate interest i might as well go private sector and get paid out the ass for it #but i know im not wanted in those spaces either simply due to being support crew rather than sf or infantry #forced into being a weapon then being expected to be normal #doesnt help that being transgender on top of that means that Nobody wants me around #im scared that im going to be broken and NHP forever even when ive earned my humanity back #i already feel like i never emotionally matured past high school #cause all ive ever known was being property of religious zealots and property of the government #i think i had a two year gap of being a person but otherwise ive just been trying to survive and it shows #at this point the best i can hope for is to distract myself until i keel over from the abuse ive let my body take #which i guess isnt the absolute worst thing ever #like between working with a carcinogen and spilling jp8 on myself and the malnutrition and heavy metal exposure and multiple deaths lol #theres no way im going to be able to grow old #and its going to be painful and slow the whole way down #a part of me wishes that drone turned me into paste #being the lucky survivor is worse i think #im useless and unwanted and that kinda blows?#trying so hard to cling to life but im tired of surviving. i want to live. but im not allowed to #maybe things will improve once my contract expires and i get to have a real name again #i thought these antidepressants were supposed to make me feel better why arent they working

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barry2018-2023 · 1 year ago

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I think I need to start integrating an after work coffee into my lifestyle fr I slept for ten hours last night and I can barely keep my eyes open at 5 pm I thought naps were the solution but they do nothing

#im so fuuuuucked im tired of being sleepy!!!!! oh my goooddddd #the onyl reason i dont wanna drink two coffees everyday is bc coffee is expensive.....#otherwise an afternoon coffee is a good idea....

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dilfsuzanneyk · 11 months ago

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head in hands someone teach me to diy my shit

#everything is so fucking expensive #like thrift stores are great but yk i wanna. i wanna make shit that Lasts and whatever #also . just shit that i actually like. bc i take whatever i find at thrift stores and got dam #mostly im just tired of paying for shit though. and then those things depleting in quality after a year. fuuuuuck you i need you to LAST #vex rambles

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raksh-writes · 2 years ago

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Really freaking unfair how Im barely able to sit straight at my desk with how exhausted and sleepy I feel but as soon as I lay down Im Immediately wide awake, no traces of sleepiness present. Like. What the fuck???

That's NOT how a bed should work.

#personal #vent #its been an ongoing problem for Quite some time #and Im so damn tired of it #I Need sleep #but fuck me if I get any #and of course my anxiety is acting up to fuuuuuck #how do I reverse this? I want to able to Sleep again not lay awake for hours on end #its not night yet now #but I had a pretty okay day then got this ready to knock me over wave of exhaustion a second ago #and of course when I decided that Okay maybe laying down will help #I get wide awake as soon as I hit the bed #the fuck brain??#I dont know what to do anymore #I talked with my therapist about getting some sleeping pills from a psychiatrist but she advised me away from it #so I dont fucking know #should I just NOT sleep for a whole night and hope it fixes it?#tho I should know it prob won't help #and just go right back to the same thing after I get 1 night of better sleep #rant #Im so done with this...

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universalsatan · 2 years ago

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sometimes i forget how distinctly american my mother is, and how we are generally a product of our surroundings

#personal #just found out she’s pro-military!!! and she was accusing me of being anti-military because of watching x files. like girl i am 10 episodes #into this show. i have had these views for a Long time (VERY specifically about the us military). and im just like. damn. like yeah of COURS #it’s not plastered everywhere. ‘give me some peer reviewed articles’ i would but i just cant bring myself to get the energy to get stuck in #this exhausting npd abuse loop again (sounds exaggerated but im basically falling for exacerbating the situation. which is why it’s always #hit me the hardest i guess. because she Will just straight up either not mention it ever again or just simply deny it. and i’m not exactly #educated enough on the subject to remember specific points. my memory has been destroyed BECAUSE of this kinda shit and i cant recall decent #argument points anymore. not that i even particularly want to!!! read up on all this shit!!!! oh and even realizing that she was Definitely #seeing me as an Extreme. like girl what. i forgot that npd does that #reminds me of how. she’s very liberal. she was the one who got me out of the closet in the first place (bc i wouldnt do so myself)#and yet the other day. i swear she said something that was almost terf rhetoric #FUCK i HATE that my memory has already scrambled it. fuuuuuck and here i thought my memory was coming back #but it was something along the lines of implying that men Would try to get into women’s shelters etc in a skirt or smth and i #i just stopped talking i was so shocked #god. sorry didnt mean to vent lmao but im. hhh im just Tired yknow?#mandont

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emperornero · 2 years ago

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i have a 2 hour long math test tomorrow about something i dont care about and i just know the teacher will give us so many problems no one will be able to finish on time so i just dont care anymore. ever since they changed the math teacher i cant bring myself to learning anything in class and im too tired and busy to do that on my own during my free time.

#i could just chill and maybe draw for the rest of the night but im already tired and also on my period so fuuuuuck

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asakurahaos · 4 months ago

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i was standing still next to my desk, alone, and my shirt lifted off my back like someone lifted it up by the bottom hem and then tugged it back down 😵‍💫

#i have this happen in dreams and sleep paralyis #so for a moment i thought i was asleep #and then i was like fuck i do have very realistic dreams but this is beyond that so im definitely not asleep 😰#thats so much worse what the fuuuuuck #im very tired tho so it might be my mind playing tricks on me #but also i know what i felt... like the whole back of my shirt lifted off and then it was suddenly tugged down by a single point on the hem #ughhhhh 😫

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doodlboy · 9 months ago

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Annnnd I've lost the ability to draw again

#fuck #FUUUUUCK #augh #i wish i could like #not give a shit abt the art i make and juat do silly shit #but ofc!+!!!! i cant do that!!!!!!#im so pissed!!!!!#itts 4am #im tired #elliot rambles

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britneyshakespeare · 10 months ago

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Decompress me daddy

#im so so so so tired #i was offered this morning to do this schedule for the rest of the week #i think the fuuuuuck nooooot #tales from diana #the kids are wild today or maybe im just too fragile to live #most likely both

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