#future reviews will be shorter i swear

[neodinglebat]

Media Thread 2023 #2 - Elden Ring

Ah, Elden Ring. The massive dream game with an insane amount of hype around it. Prophetised for many years before finally releasing to a massive success. The culmination of From Software's fourteen year long string in crafting a whole new genre of video games.

I bought into the hype and got the game with zero Soulslike experience to speak of.

Elden Ring is a tricky thing to talk about, because the heaps of praises it's gathered are absolutely deserved. The setting is incredible from both visual and narrative standpoints. The sheer amount of playstyle options offered to the player cannot be understated here. It truly gives the, nigh extinct in the current AAA gaming industry, sense of exploration and discovery. It is, without a doubt, a paradigm-shifting game that games to be will pull lessons from (even if they're about all the wrong things).

Which only makes it all the more painful that I couldn't find it in me to commit to finishing Elden Ring. As mentioned at the start, I have zero experience in the Soulslike genre. It's not the kind of action that I sought out in games to play. And so, I took to having to interact with Elden Ring's slow and janky commited stamina-based movement like oil to water.

Elden Ring is also an open-world game. It truly lives up to that name. There's nothing to restrain the player from going anywhere except for time and a couple plot progression beats. And enemies. Enemies which, at beginning especially, can be really tough to deal with, forcing the player has to explore every nook and cranny to find what it has to offer. And what may be found might be... utterly unusable with the player's current build due to stat point requirements on weapons. It's a problem that I've ran into quite a lot, having picked one of the magic-oriented classes - the Prisoner. All too often, upon exploring a set of completing a set of catacombs or mines or some kind of other location in the world, I wound up with either a trinket that does not contribute to my build in any meaningful way or a weapon/invocation that I can't use and would have to intentionally dedicate Runes toward so I can just try them out. In a game where the player can easily lose Runes - the currency used for both levelling and item purchases - upon death. Soulslike fans might be used to it, but to someone with hasn't been hazed into the experience, any such deaths were just demotivating.

There is also certain aspect of open-world games that I have to touch upon, as it is something Elden Ring has to contend with - aimlessness. When given a massive unrestrained world to explore, able to do whatever they please, the hypothetical player may experience a choice paralysis and, ultimately, wind up doing nothing. The biggest example of the aimlessness I'm talking about would be, of course, Minecraft.

Minecraft is a game about an ultimate expression of freedom. The player is dropped in the world and, from frame 1, are able to go wherever and do whatever. While, technically, there is an ending to Minecraft, it's more so a formality than any real conclusion. It is the player itself that sets out the goal for themselves to conquer in-game.

Naturally, that is not something that every type of player is into. The player may prefer to have some sort of direction to go towards, a sort of a guideline to follow. Elden Ring has this sort of line, in the form of of spectral arrows that lead the player toward one of the bosses required for game progression. Beyond that though, the narrative leads can be rather sparse. There are events to progress the plot forward and it is, from what I hear a lot easier to follow the plot here than in Fromsoft's previous Soulslike games. But it is still noticeably leaner in terms of story than what you'd see in any other AAA open-world title. The closest equivalent to Elden Ring here would be The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild - a game that still is remarkably less obscure to parse than Elden Ring by openly listing side-quest progress and having area icons on the map designating locations before the player travels to them.

Speaking of play progression, let's talking about the thing it inevitably leads the player towards - The Boss Fights. This is an admission that will probably get Soulslike elders to laugh at me, but I got rinsed by them repeatedly. That is to be expected, naturally, when encountering new enemies with new attack patterns that the player has to learn and adapt to. Sometimes, I eventually found out a strat that pushed through to the end. Other times though, the boss will lash out at with really weird timings that are nigh impossible to adapt to. Yet other times, it will unleash strings of attacks that don't seem to end. Dodge them as you might, you'll run out of stamina eventually and get hit Or it might just do both at the same time, because why not. Whenever a boss pulls something like that on me, it's just beyond me to get through with the sort of controls that Elden Ring has. And eventually, failing to cobble together a functional character build, being walled by bosses I just cannot comprehend and just feeling plain lost, I stopped having fun with this game. The whole experience felt less like I'm having fun with the game and more like I'm squeezing the game out for any potential droplets of fun in spite of it.

Elden Ring is a good game. It's just not a game for me.

Dropped/10.

[usergreenpixel]

JACOBIN FICTION CONVENTION MEETING 7: SCARAMOUCHE (1921)

Hello, Citizens, and welcome to the seventh meeting of our lovely Convention!

I deeply appreciate your wishes for my speedy recovery and I assure you that I’m right as rain.

So, with that out of the way, let us begin.

1. Introduction

“Scaramouche” is a historical fiction novel written by Rafael Sabatini, who might be familiar to some of you via works like “Captain Blood”, which was among my favorite novel series when I was growing up as I’ve always loved (and still love) me a good swashbuckling story and I never quite grew out of these tastes in literature.

In the case of this novel, it never was a blip on my radar when I was a kid but my renewed interest in the French Revolution and my research of topics for future reviews led me to this story. Apparently there’s a sequel and I might review it in the future.

I found the ebook readily available in English on Project Gutenberg so it’s pretty much in public domain now.

I guess it shouldn’t be surprising that there’s a swashbuckling novel set in Frev - the setting is like a perfect fertile soil for external and internal conflicts, adventures and drama, so it was only a matter of time before someone came up with an adventure novel in this setting.

That being said, at first I had quite a few fears that this book would be just another propaganda piece, especially since the author was technically Anglophone.

Did my fears come true? Let’s find out.

2. The Summary

The story’s protagonist is one André-Louis Moreau - a ward and godson to a Breton nobleman and a lawyer by education who swears revenge on a Marquis who kills his friend in a duel.

To escape the gallows after landing himself in hot water for igniting the fire of revolution in Rennes and Nantes, André-Louis joins a troupe of traveling actors and performs as a character called Scaramouche, hence the title.

3. The Story

Like I said, I have a soft spot for swashbuckling novels so I actually quite enjoyed reading the book. And, on a pleasantly surprising note, the revolution is NOT demonized. If anything, the protagonist actually becomes an idealistic republican by the end, which is a really uncommon narrative choice in Frev media.

The narrative clearly portrays the nobility as too privileged and corrupt and the people are in the right - at least, this is what the protagonist understands during his arc.

There’s also not that much Thermidorian bullshit, at least no popular stereotypes, which I really appreciate.

That being said, I do have three main issues with the story.

Firstly, sometimes there’s too much filler and it feels like the narrative is barely dragging along, which got tiresome at times.

Secondly, I didn’t like the romantic subplot between André and the niece of his godfather, Aline. For context, the two were childhood playmates and grew up referring to each other as cousins, only to fall in love as adults.

Maybe it’s just me, but I find romance between family members (no matter how honorary) gross even if there are no shared genes involved. I know cousin marriages were more common in the past but personally I think the novel would’ve benefited from Aline and André only sharing a platonic bond and familial love.

(Spoiler alert!)

Thirdly, I highly doubt the “I’m your father” twist was necessary here as I usually dislike such plot points because they’re hard to do right.

Here there was no proper building up to the revelation, at least in my opinion, and the twist itself can (and most likely will) seem predictable to modern audiences.

However, it was resolved in a fairly realistic way. Marquis de la Tour and André don’t immediately reconcile just because they’re father and son but André calls off his revenge quest, grants the Marquis a safe passage out of the country and doesn’t want to see him again, which is understandable considering their prior enmity.

On that note, let’s take a closer look at the characters.

4. The Characters

Right off the bat, the biggest issue the modern readers might have is that the characters are too “black and white”. In the era of “grey morality” and complex characters, these archetypes might come off as done to death and boring but, other than that, the characters were mostly easy to empathize with.

Personally, I didn’t like André himself in the beginning but he grew on me.

He starts off as a stoic almost to the point of coldness, a cynic and a borderline nihilist who believes fighting against the noble class is futile and there’s no point in trying to improve the country.

But when his idealistic best friend is killed, André vows to take the Marquis down by using the volatile revolutionary climate to his advantage. Slowly, André too becomes a revolutionary and an idealist, which is admittedly rare as usually people in stories become cynical by the end.

Seeing this character ark but played in reverse felt quite refreshing to me so even though at times André’s sarcasm and stoic attitude made him insufferable, I think he is pretty well-written and fleshed out as a protagonist.

Next is Aline, and unfortunately she is underdeveloped in the novel, more so than a female lead should be. She is ambitious, which makes her consider marrying the Marquis, prejudiced against actors due to her upbringing and in general is a typical noble ingenue.

Her and André are playfully witty at times and verbally cruel to each other at others and, unfortunately, they suffer from the “misunderstanding” trope which makes them unable to talk things out. I always find this trope annoying and, coupled with prejudice and not being fleshed out enough, it played into my apathy for Aline as a character.

Then there’s Marquis de la Tour, the typical privileged corrupt noble. He loves women, is a master of fencing and has no heart. André even calls him the embodiment of sin various times.

I know despicable people can and do exist, but here it seemed like he was made a bit too evil, to the point of being simply cartoonish and hard to perceive as a threat or, for that matter, take seriously.

At least he wasn’t threatening for me personally as a character and was more amusing than anything else.

Interestingly enough, historical figures don’t feature much in the story but we do get cameos of Marat, Danton, Robespierre and Desmoulins, as well as Mirabeau.

Mirabeau is called a hypocrite by the author but the other four, surprisingly, aren’t portrayed as evil villains. Marat is even called a philanthropist and his pamphlets inspire André! How rare is that, Citizens?!

Anyway, let’s continue.

5. The Setting

Although at times the text is overloaded with descriptions, all of them were vivid enough for me to imagine myself in the story with the characters.

Sabatini sure knows how to convey the images of villages, cities, nature, inns, etc in an exciting and engaging manner. I just wish that the descriptions were a bit shorter.

6. The Writing Style

Seeing as the novel was published in 1921 and I’m pretty good at English, I didn’t have many problems with reading but there were some outdated grammatical structures and vocabulary so be prepared.

Besides, in the version I read didn’t have translations of French and Latin phrases that occasionally pop up in the text, which was a bit annoying but not that much as I could understand the context of the phrases and therefore figure out what they mean more or less.

In general though, despite occasional overload of descriptions and the aforementioned grievances I have with the text, the writing style is engaging, very easy to understand and not too complex.

7. The Conclusion

In short, I can definitely recommend this novel to anyone who loves good swashbuckling stories and hates propaganda. Not the most original story but enjoyable and a good read regardless.

With that, I announce the end of the meeting. Stay tuned for updates and stay safe, Citizens!

Love,

- Citizen Green Pixel

[eggmarr]

one + one [marcus pike x reader] - 1

part 1: the doctor and her agent (and sometimes vice versa) (fem!reader)

a/n: lemme just start here by saying that this is heavily inspired by the booth/brennan relationship dynamic cause i started watching bones again and fell in love with the banter and slow burn. so here, marcus is still marcus, just with some slight changes cause reader brings it out in him. also: i had trouble figuring out how to start this so it’s kinda shorter than i’d like, but it’s still good i swear (edit: you can find the masterlist here)

——————

The first time you met Marcus Pike, he knocked over a mannequin you had been using as a stand in for a murder victim.

“Ah! Sorry about that.”

Admittedly, you had been rather annoyed at first, but he’d come with important news about a case, so it was mostly forgive and forget. Piper, your lab assistant, remarked on him as she cleaned up later that evening.

“You know that agent from before? Andrews said he’s a transfer from Texas. Specialized in art theft, but skilled in a lot of fields. Apparently, he was engaged too, but she broke it off before the move.”

“Hm.”

“He’s quite a hit with the other ladies too, but I heard he shot ‘em all down. Politely!”

“That sounds good, Pipes, but I’m not hungry.”

She elected to leave the topic alone for the time being, and you didn’t think of him again until that day.

“Doctor, thank you for coming here today. Please, take a seat.”

The day you and Marcus Pike became partners. For the foreseeable future.

***

“Heads up, Doc!” Piper called out to you, clicking heels making you miss your mark on the microscope dials. “Incoming white knight to L-7! Just passed him in the hallway.”

You sighed, taking the slide out and carefully storing it away for later review.

“One day, he’s going to hear you calling him that.”

“That’s the third time this week, you know. I think he likes you!” The bubbly assistant chimed, fluffing her dark hair and adjusting her lab coat for nonexistent wrinkles.

“I’m sure he’s just here for those test results on the paint samples.”

“Yeah. Paint samples.” She rolled her eyes, moving to type away on her computer. “At least they sound like valid reasons.”

Before you could retort, the white knight in question strolled into the lab, coffees in hand.

“Thought you could use some.” Your attention turned to the outstretched cup, gaze following up to the warm brown eyes of Agent Pike. He’d been making it a habit to bring you something whenever he had to visit, giving you a modest collection of knickknacks on your desk.

“Thanks. I’ve been working on those paint samples you sent for a bit, so at the results should be coming in soon.”

He chuckled, taking a sip from his own cup. “You work too hard, Rook. Both of you.”

You rolled your eyes at the nickname, snatching the cup into your grasp. Pike had taken to calling you “Rook” ever since your first case together (something about how chess is a smart people sport?), and the nickname became commonplace sometime between then and now.

There’s have to be a gun to your head to admit it, but the name was growing on you.

“Just doing our jobs. How’s Emily doing?”

He nodded, stepping incrementally closer to you. “She’s doing good; hates the whole early maternity leave thing though. Wishes she could just get back into the field already.”

“I’ll make sure to give her a call. Davis must be driving her up the walls.”

A beep alerted you back to your computer, pulling yourself back into place to look over results and photos. You let out a triumphant laugh, surprising Pike.

“I knew it!”

“What do you got, Rook?”

You pointed to a couple results on the screen, explaining as he leaned down close to your shoulder.

“That paint sample you sent me? It’s handmade, not from a tube. The pigment looks to be copper acetate; there’s small flecks of copper and the binding agent’s ratio is slightly off. It’s a fake, Pike.”

You turned to gauge his reaction, raising an eyebrow at how close he was as he skimmed through the science jargon. His eyebrows were furrowed in concentration, occasionally mouthing along before that spark of realization hit him.

Pike looked at you with something in his eyes you couldn’t quite place, before giving you that smile Piper swears is only reserved for you. One side quirked higher up than the other, the sparkle in his eyes adding a certain charm to the boyish grin.

“You’re extraordinary, Rook.” He winked, taking his leave with a slight spring in his step that wasn’t there when he went in.

“Again. Paint samples?” Piper let out a quiet laugh at the glare you fixed on her.

“Don’t make me bring you and Andrews into this.”

“Low blow, Doc. Low blow.”

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 86

Hey everyone! Hope you’re all keeping safe and healthy, as much as you can.

This week, I decided to let everyone see how exactly Sophia and Arthur interact.  You know, since they are theoretically friends from Before and all that (they really, really are friends, I swear).  Thank you to @baelpenrose for helping me with this chapter, which you did immensely.

After a decadently scathing review of an ancient fairy tale and some quick thinking to keep Nixe from lighting the book on fire out of principle, I found myself actually regretting that I needed to return to work. This time escorted by Alistair, who was ostensibly returning anyway from a meeting with the current Head Archivist, we set a brisk pace while quietly discussing my schedule for the next week.  By the time we arrived back at our shared office, my head was spinning with the thought of all the Council meetings I had in my future.

Having worked up an appetite and refusing to make important decisions on an empty stomach, I queued up two bowls of etouffee, along with a heaping plate of cornbread and butter. While my assistant provided more and more details around each of my peers’ agendas in regards to testing various ecological building methods - how could there be agendas behind something like that - the door hissed open and a familiar brunette man strolled to my rescue.

Before I could even greet him, Arthur sat down and snagged my yet-untouched meal. "I gave Charly a treat. No reason. But she seemed very enamored of the glittery pens." Unfazed by my attempts to recover my food, he took a bite before giving the bowl a critical look. “This is really good, Sophie. You should try some.”

Scowling, I stepped back over to the food console. “Why did you give her a treat?”

He paused to swallow another mouthful of my lunch. "Phenomenal self control in the face of rage"

"You heard?" I winced before returning to the table with my second attempt to eat.

"Who didn’t? And I'm not saying I condone violence, but her aim was superb, I must say."

"Arthur, she bit him." 

"Very clever use of weapons at hand, I agree." Still nonchalant, he slathered butter on a slice of cornbread.

“That’s real butter - “ I tried to warn.

He just waved me off with a spoon. “No whey, I already tested it. Besides, Miys was able to do something about that, just to make my life easier.”

Shaking my head, I finally got to try some of my food. "You gave her caffeine, didn't you?" I asked hesitantly, returning to the topic of Charly.

"I will neither confirm nor deny" 

"That's a yes." 

"You can't prove that."

"Is it... is it on the pens? Is that a thing?" 

"Pffft,” he scoffed. “How lazy.”  I stared at him intently until he rolled his eyes and groaned. “The ink in the pens disappears after an hour, glitter and all. She'll love them."

I couldn’t really argue with that, so instead I shifted topics slightly. “So. The guys mentioned asking you to be part of my escort detail?”

He nodded. “I couldn’t make it today, but I moved some stuff around.  Should be good to go.”

Something fell into place in my mind. “Wait. Did you send Nixe?”

“Is that her name? The mermaid?” I nodded, so he continued. “I mean, yeah.”

I sputtered, fortunate I didn’t have food in my mouth. “You don’t even know her name and you sent her to fill in?”

“Well, I know it now.” When I didn’t let the glare stop, he set his ill-gotten spoon down firmly. “Sophia. Sophie. That woman is almost as tall as one of your boyfriends, taller than the other, and has endurance enough to probably win a fight while holding her breath.  She has an enormous soft-spot for kind people - which you are - and every inch of her screams don’t fuck with me.”

“Because people think she’s crazy,” I scowled in accusation.  “She’s actually really sweet.”

“Well, that too. She’s also strong as fuck, and truly believes she is an exiled queen of a race of warriors to boot.  I’m willing to bet, if she punched that wannabe warlord? She’d put her fist through him.” He picked up his spoon and smiled. “So, yeah.  I asked her to walk you to the archive. She wanted to head down anyway, so….” He shrugged before finishing off the etouffee. “Besides, she was also the person I figured was least likely to need to resort to violence.”

That got a smirk out of me. "Since when don't you condone violence, oh peaceful reformed warlord?"

"Stop putting your words in my mouth, Sophie. I absolutely condone justified violence."

"Excuse me? Weren't you just praising Charly for -"

"I also said justified violence, to be fair."

Before I could have an aneurysm, Alistair stepped in. "Mr. Farro, sir, Councillor Kalloe asked me to pass on this declination of access to your personal sword?"

“You asked for your sword back? Arthur…”

He scowled at my assistant, shaking his head before muttering. “You absolutely did that on purpose, you traitorous, limey dick.”

“Arthur!”

“You should not have been such a cad to have stolen Miss Sophia’s lunch,” Alistair sniffed, unimpressed.

All I could do was rub my temples and focus on deep breaths. They don’t actually hate each other, I reminded myself firmly. “Arthur. Sword. Why?”

“I’m sure I don’t have to explain the anatomy behind why it’s a lot harder to intimidate someone when you’re… oh, about a head shorter?”

“Arthur….” I was feeling like a broken record, especially when he smirked at me and I realized he was probably counting how many different inflections I could use on that.

“Besides, it’s time someone showed that Game of Thrones, Mad Max reject what a real warlord can do,” he added airily, staring at the ceiling.

I choked on my last bite of cornbread, pounding the table and gasping for air before I could respond. “Wait, you mean to tell me your professionalism is offended? Are you serious!?”

“Yeah, I’m serious.” He didn’t even bother looking down at me. “I earned the title, protecting my students, and he’s just some bullying, conspiracy-peddling amateur who wouldn’t even rate a decent Fallout villain.” Finally, he glanced back at me. “Besides, if he’s the guy he thinks he is, he’ll understand that threatening another leader’s people is met with violence.”

“Oh, another leader now?” I asked skeptically.

“Oh hell no. Not me.” He shook his head violently before gesturing with his spoon again. “You. Xiomara. Grey. Your people.”

“You know I don’t believe violence is the answer,” I said softly.

“I know. But right now, it’s the question. The answer may end up being yes, no matter how much you don’t want it to be.” He gave me a meaningful look before his expression hardened. “If it comes to that, and I think you, or Charly, or anyone else I care about is in danger? That Viking-wannabe is going to find himself on the wrong side of the airlock.  You won’t have to make the hard decision, fight all that empathy you have floating around in there.” He tapped his temple. “I’ll make the call, me and Xiomara.” Like a switch flipping, his features relaxed again. “I just need her to give me back my damned sword.”

Alistair cleared his throat politely, arching an eyebrow at the man across from me. “Dare I even ask why you have a sword?”

Arthur pointed at himself and enunciated slowly. “War. Lord.”

Nonplussed, my assistant waved the response away. “Yes, yes, I understand all that. You’ve certainly said it frequently enough. How did you come by it, I mean? You are both from the Colonies, after all.”

I snickered at the back-handed insult, waiting for Arthur to clarify.  To be honest, I was mildly curious about it, myself, but was certain enough that I didn’t want to know the answer that I had never asked.

Arthur straightened himself, and in the worst faux-Italian accent, explained “My sword has been serving the warrior sons of the Farro family since the days of the Medici.” Dropping the accent, he clarified. “I was a history teacher, Before. I used to show the sword to some of my classes, and even took a few lessons in the style the sword was used in.  Then, when the End happened… it saw battle again.” He paused for a moment before scowling. “Which is why it better not be rusted when I get it back. It’s a five-hundred year old weapon.”

“Is that how the two of you know each other?” Alistair continued, pretending to be entirely unimpressed by the provenance of an antique sword - I wasn’t fooled, he was an archivist.

Arthur, however, looked completely baffled. “The sword? No? What in the -”

“Teaching….” Alistair clarified wearily.

I snorted hard enough that my sinuses burned. “Oh gods no. I don’t think we ever even lived in the same state. And I only taught for…. Two years? A year and a half? Not counting the whole - “ I waved a hand around my head vaguely “-Interpersonal communication fiasco. And he was still in high school at the time, I think.” I glanced over, but Arthur just shrugged.  “Anyway, we actually met in an online group, almost a decade after I quit teaching, one dedicated to writing.” Pausing, I glanced around at my office. “I don’t think we ever imagined anything like this, though.”

“When did you first meet in person?” Alistair asked, still curious.

I felt my face flush scarlet, while Arthur just tipped his head back and roared with laughter. After several minutes, he managed to get himself under control enough to point an accusing finger at me. “We met, face to face, the day she marched her self-righteous ass into my office and railed at me over Charly Harper’s grades.  I’ve been chewed out by every form of indignant parent ever, but that was a new one on me. She was about to pick a fight with me on behalf of every student ever taught by anyone.  And Xiomara was standing there, just letting her!”

“I’m not sure she knew who she was supposed to restrain,” I clarified.  “Even once we calmed down, it probably took a good fifteen minutes to realize who we were looking at.”

“Wait, so you met in person on the Ark?” Alistair sputtered in disbelief. “Mr. Farro, I have heard you, on more than one occasion, refer to Miss Sophia as being like a sister to you, yet you only met less than a year ago?”

It was my turn to scoff. “In person, maybe. But we met over twenty years ago, and two lifetimes away.”

Arthur nodded. “Italian families work differently than British ones. Even those who moved to ‘the colonies’,” he deadpanned. “And I’m sure everyone on the Ark and probably on Earth is aware of her annoying ass tendency to adopt strays.”

“Yeah, hokay, stray number one,” I mocked gently.

He just made a ticking gesture at me. “Thus, our initial clash. There was a miscommunication that affected a member of her ‘family’, and she was shooting to verbally kill at a hundred paces.” Clucking at me, he admonished, “Tyche was much more threatening, just for reference.”

“Carrying seven knives will do that.”

“Ten, actually, six for throwing.”

I shrugged nonchalantly as Alistair’s eyes tried valiantly to escape his head. “She’s not going to give up a ranged advantage.”

“Tell me the truth, is she actually any good with those?” Arthur asked, leaning in.

“They were actually for me.”

“They’re kind of an impractical weapon, but I wouldn’t put it past the Reid sisters to get good with them.”

Alistair, on the other hand, was still sputtering. “Miss Reid,” he scolded. “You mean to tell me you can throw knives?!”

“I can also kill a squirrel at thirty feet with a sling and a stone,” I shrugged. “Girl’s gotta eat.”

My assistant looked queasy, Arthur just looked mildly impressed. “Why was Tyche carrying them, if they were for you?”

“Because I was angry enough to do something stupid,” I admitted. “It was more so I wouldn’t use them.”

“So… on the off chance I need to know what your phenomenal sister will use in the event she is the angry one, what should I be watching for?” He leaned forward on his folded hands like an eager student.

All I could do was scrunch my face in confusion. “Pain? Blood? Think what Charly did to Jokull, plus rabies, no sense of self preservation, and absolutely no concept of ‘fair’. I mean, she can throw, for sure, but she isn’t above just becoming full-on possessed if she feels the need to attack.”

“Did she really almost beat herself unconscious on a bulkhead?”

“Yep.” I popped the ‘p’. “Although, that person almost killed me, so it’s probably better they got the sentence they did than ten minutes with my sister.”

Arthur nodded in understanding. “Probably more merciful, yeah.”

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[danisaur-arts]

Review on Diana Gabaldon's Dragonfly in Amber

A little more than a week ago I finished the second book in Gabaldon's Outlander series but I've procrastinated this review a little bit because I've been so hooked with Voyager. Regardless, here is my little insight on Dragonfly in Amber;

The book hits of with an incredibly powerful and hooking start, presenting us with a Claire 20 years ahead from the protagonist we knew she was. Her age is the least of surprises once we find out not only that she has a daughter, who is starting her twenties, but that she is in 1968! Us, the audience, are immediately thrown off our seats with a tsunami of questions. Why is she in the future?! Isbher daughter Jamie's?! What the f*ck is happening?! Gabaldon plays with this game of uncertainty for the first part of the book, until she decides that it is time for Claire to tell the story.

Different from the first book, this book and the other ones to come does not limit itself to Claire's PoV. Remember I said I didn't really like first person narrators too much? Well I have to ironically admit that I almost had a heart attack when I saw that the book opened in third person with the PoV of a character we are merely being introduced to. But don't worry folks! Claire owns most of the book's narration in this case.

After this amazing start, the book slows down as abruptly as a car hitting the breaks at full speed. The second part begins with Claire taking us to the events of the past on how she and Jamie reached France to stop the Bonnie Prince Charles from being able to start the Jacobite revolution that would lead to the death of thousands of Scots. Although the Paris plot has some mind-blowing events and a handful of interesting Characters, it feels quite dull and slow in comparison to all the adventures the reader lived in book 1. Whereas Outlander was full of sword fights and runaways and the first sparks of love, the Paris plot of ADiA is more based on diplomacy, mind games and settling as a family. It is fairly interesting, but in my opinion could have been much shorter.

Eventually things move back to Scotland, and a small part of the book is peacefully spent in Lallybroch. I swear this place is like a safe haven for Claire and Jamie, for most of the times they spend in it are often too sweet and wholesome that readers won't be able to prevent biting their lips each flutter of a heart (and believe me you'll feel many flutters).

And then, the Jacobite rebellion suddenly surprises you when you thought everything was solved. And things get spicy fast as the war unfolds.

By this point the reader grows scare. We know Claire is going to end up traveling back to the future, but what made her? Once we found out what, our eyes tear up because it is not the cause we'd ever think would be.

But the book does not end there. We stay with our 40 yr old Claire who is still attached to her valiant and stubborn Scot from the past. And we find out that 20 years after Culloden he still lived, closing with an open ending that leaves Claire with a tough decision to make by the third book.

Dragonfly in Amber doesn't fail to show what an outstanding writer Diana Gabaldon is. It experiments with really sorrowful and complicated themes and digs even deeper into Jamie and Claire's relationship adding more complexity to it making it more dimensional and giving it the ups and downs marriage implies. I just believe it shouldn't be as long as it is.

Rating: 7.5/10

[lovejustforaday]

2020 year in review - honourable mentions

It’s year-end list season folks. I’m gonna be listing off my top 10 for this year with some tasty reviews, but I also wanted to make an appreciation post for a few albums that didn’t make the cut, so here’s a collection of mini reviews for five albums that almost made the top 10:

WEST OF EDEN - HMLTD

Main Genres: Art Punk, Glam Punk, Art Pop A decent sampling of: Dark Cabaret, Progressive Pop, Synth Punk, Post-Punk, Punk Blues

West of Eden is what I imagine what happens when a bunch of theatre kids become punk rockers. I had no idea who HMLTD were before I checked them out this year on a whim, and boy am I glad I did. This is very eclectic punk music with pop hooks and a lot of influence from cabaret and musical theatre. Definitely the kind of album where the artist throws everything at the wall to see what sticks, so it’s a mixed bag, but there’s a lot of pay off too. “The West Is Dead” is a wondrously flamboyant opener, and “Satan, Luella, and I” is a such a massive song, with a brilliant clash of aesthetics that is one part wild west, one part gothic, and one part broadway fanfare. Also I swear they’re sampling a vocaloid voice track on “Why?” so that’s something. Check this album out if you wanna get weird. 8/10

Highlights: “Satan, Luella, & I”, “The West Is Dead”, “Where’s Joanna?”, “To The Door”

FUTURE NOSTALGIA – DUA LIPA

Main Genres: Nu-Disco, Dance Pop A decent sampling of: Funktronica, Synth Pop

Ironically, 2020 has been a really big year for nu-disco even though we can’t go out to the clubs. Likewise, this somehow ended up only being my second favourite disco/pop crossover project this year, but this is still a great album and the singles are easily the best thing to dominate the charts this year. If Jessie Ware’s What’s Your Pleasure? is classy, sensual, and soulful, than Future Nostalgia is spunky and free-spirited, like the perfect soundtrack to a night out with the girls. Dua Lipa has really proven she’s a force to be reckoned with in the pop world, and I’m glad she’s starting to approach the level of stardom of artists like Taylor Swift and Ariana Grande who frankly I think she’s starting to really outperform musically. The last two tracks standout as easily being the weakest, although unlike some man-children I’m not mad at the lyrics of “Boys Will Be Boys”; it’s just a weak song musically, but not enough to make me forget how much the rest of this kicks ass. Honestly, it’s a crime that I can’t be drunk off my ass shouting the lyrics to “Hallucinate” in a gay bar right now as I’m writing this, but I digress. Very good album, proud of Dula Peep. 8/10 Highlights: “Hallucinate”, “Break My Heart”, “Don’t Start Now”, “Levitating”

SILVER LADDERS – MARY LATTIMORE

Main Genres: Ambient A decent sampling of: Post-Minimalism, New Age, Electroacoustic

I checked out this album because it was co-produced by Neil Halstead of Slowdive (my all-time favourite band), and I didn’t know what to expect from the process of a shoegaze giant producing an album of instrumental harp music. Thankfully, I’m happy to report that the end result is both unconventional and beautifully mesmerizing. Mary Lattimore’s Silver Ladders is a heavenly ambient album comprised mostly of just gently plucked harps, warm reverb, and the occasional addition of sparse bass and synths. Lattimore’s harp work is intricate but subtle, and the songs make a lot of good use of the space between notes, especially on the title track “Silver Ladders”, a haunting siren song that ends in a crescendo of shimmering echoes. I find the shorter ambient pieces on the album work a lot better than the two darker, longer pieces “Til A Mermaid Drags You Under” and “Don’t Look” which I find to be a tad bit dreary. Still, like all good ambient music, this entire project is a lot more than just ‘background music’ and it really captures the imagination of the listener. I want to get lost at sea listening to the cold air of Mary Lattimore’s harp, but I’ll gladly settle for listening to Silver Ladders on the bus ride home instead. 8/10

Highlights: “Silver Ladders“, “Sometimes He’s In My Dreams”, “Chop on the Climbout”

SHRINES – ARMAND HAMMER

Main Genres: Abstract Rap, Experimental Rap, East Coast Rap A decent sampling of: Conscious Rap, Hardcore Rap

Definitely my favourite album cover of the year, and it’s a completely real photo of an incident that actually happened so that’s pretty crazy. As for the music, Shrines is a hypnotic, cryptic hip hop album with hard leftist politics and very interesting production that sounds like the sonic manifestation of a head full of cynical thoughts. Billy Woods and Elucid spit rhymes with a lot of poetic frustration, expressing the feeling of utter disenfranchisement by the power systems of classism and racism that dominate their society. The first half of the album is mostly tracks that are energetic like the absolutely ferocious “Leopards”, while later tracks like “Flavor Flav” and “Ramesses II” are mostly mellow and bitter. The beats can be disorienting and confusing, and some of the tracks are kinda formless, so its definitely not an album to dance to, but Shrines is great for a more introspective listen on a late night walk. If I had to pick an album that captured the zeitgeist of 2020, this is probably it. Great music and important subject matter. 8/10

Highlights: “Leopards”, “Dead Cars”, “Flavor Flav”, “Pommelhorse”

ISLAND – OWEN PALLETT

Main Genres: Chamber Folk A decent sampling of: Art Pop, Modern Classical, Ambient

Owen Pallett is an indie folk artist who has had one foot in the sophisticated world of modern classical music for some time now. Likewise, Pallett’s 2020 concept album Island is grand and orchestral with distinct movements. Continuing the saga of his character Lewis from his 2010 LP Heartland, the new album is equally philosophical and complex, telling the story of Lewis being metaphorically stranded after killing his manipulator god at the end of the last album in the saga. The majority of this album is brilliantly nocturnal in a way that is neither creepy nor unsettling, instead conjuring the invigorating fantasy of a mysterious and enchanting night of a full moon. “Paragon of Order” is particularly enchanting, and while this album only sits at #11 on my year-end list, this one track in particular is probably in my top 3 of the year because it’s just so incredibly magical and captivating in a way that feels like it’s lifting me to a heightened sensory experience every time I listen to it. The last few tracks are a little confusing, especially “Lewis Gets Fucked into Space”, taking a somewhat abstract direction that deviates from the gorgeous imagery of the first half that I fell in love with. Nevertheless, Island is an album I’ll want to revisit on nights when I’m feeling excited or inspired. 8/10

Highlights: “Paragon of Order”, “--> (i)”, “Perseverance of The Saints”, “--> (iii)”, “--> (ii)”, “The Sound of The Engines”

[lorlyn-the-demon]

Hazbin Hotel Review

So, it’s been more than a week since the pilot came out, I’ve already seen some reviews of it on YouTube, and I felt like I should say something too. So, here are my thoughts about the pilot :

I liked the intro, but after that I felt like the composition went a bit off the rails : the pacing is way too fast, and the transitions feel rushed. Someone who never watched the clips and never heard about Hazbin Hotel before would rapidly be completely lost.

Then there’s the sound effects : too many cartoon noises. There weren’t that many in the clips, and it was just fine this way. I don’t know why they thought it would be a good idea to add those.

Also the dialogues. Too much swearing. Just because you’re a bad person doesn’t mean that you have to randomly put a f-word in every sentence. Grown ups don’t swear that much. Twelve years old when their parents aren’t there do. I didn’t find the jokes very funny, but I didn’t mind. Except for the dialogue between Angel and Sir Pen, which felt a little too much like an HH fanfiction rather than the actual show. It’s kind off disappointing that the characters are so predictable. It’s like watching the fan-animated stuff from the streams, except this time it’s supposed to be the real, official show, not just the VAs pretending to be their characters being silly for the enjoyment of fans.

I feel like the whole bargain between Charlie and Alastor could have been shorter. And his song at the end felt like it was only there for the sake of having a song. You could remove the song and nothing would change. Except it did gave us some Charlastor, so I’m not complaining.

And finally, the animation. It’s good, not Thief and the Cobbler levels of good, but it’s decent. As long as you ignore the fact that it beats Hotel Transylvania 2 records of model inconsistency, at least :

So here’s all I have to say about the pilot. No, I’m not going to praise it, because countless others did it before me, and will continue to. After this first introduction, I hope that Ms. Medrano will acknowledge the criticism and that future episodes won’t feature the flaws found in this one. For all that I know, Hazbin Hotel is the worst show ever and I love it.

[fuckyeahkillianemma]

THIS RHEKKER fic is FAB! @homeschooledbookfanatic I really looked for the note in your Tumblr for your fic but i never found it so I decided to make one for myself because I need my gifs to explain my emotions! (Plus: I told you I would spam you) I’m more asleep than awake at this moment, I apologize for my grammar mistakes.

I'll start by telling you that I can't explain how much I liked reading this. It was like a roller coaster of emotions because I was happy and also sad and I was like “SHUT UP I'M FINE! I'm not crying I'm sweating for my eyes!”

You nailed it so bad, and like i said already: i love how you are faithful to Connor and Ava and don't make them more cheesy or friendly or more anything, you know how to maintain the attitude of the characters but still let us see more, how they have changed and grown (CM writers should learn from this, bc obvious reasons) #justsaying

Let me quote you:

“She didn’t know how she ever got so lucky. To have Connor, a prosperous career that she loved, a wonderful life and now, a baby to call her own. She didn’t know how much she’d wanted it until it happened.“

ALL MY FEELINGS! this is all what i wanted for Ava! cm didn't give it to me but you did. It was kinda sad to read this for how it all ended, but at the same time it made me happy because it was what Avey deserved. And it was so cute how did you write her reaction when she found out she was pregnant and so funny how she waited for Connor to finish reading her results. (And ofc she was on the ER working... so Ava-ish!)

And then this:

“One day, when he looked at her, the thought ‘this is what my future looks like’ came unbidden to his mind. It had startled him, but he found that yes, he wanted a future with her; a long one. He wanted to marry her.”

SHUT UP! this hit me so bad!!!!!! makes me remember 4.10 when he said: “We are a couple with a future” SDHVFUHFKJ! Oh my god! My feelings, i had a stroke in that exact moment!!! And i have another one just reading it again!

This is such a long reviewe and I’M SO SORRY! bc i already put a long review on ao3 but i can’t stop myself! I swear i can keep telling you how much i loved it but you will get tired of reading it. It was so sweet to see them how both react to the news! and i love how Connor take his time to go to the ER and i was like: DUDE FUCKING RUN!!!! you wanna run! 

Whatever i loved it. And seriously, everyone should go a read your fics bc they are awesome!! ( I promise my next reviews gonna be shorter. I will try!)

[chungledown-bimothy]

Music and the Mirror (and the chance to dance with you)

Hey look! I actually finished something! :D

AO3     Masterlist

Summary: It had been five years, and Virgil was finally ready to dance again. The last thing he expected was Roman and that goddamn tongue piercing.

Warnings: some swearing, sympathetic deceit, accidental misgendering, dysphoria. lmk if i missed anything!

Pairing(s): prinxiety, background remceit and logicality

Word Count: 4,739

Tag List:  @ren-allen​ @ccecode​ @emo-sanders-sides-loving-unicorn​ @ilovemygaydad​ @bloodropsblog​ @funsizedgremlin​ @raygelkitty​ @roxiefox23​ @thomasthesandersengine​

If I don't do this now, I never will, and I'll regret it for the rest of my life. Virgil took a deep breath, staring at the cursor blinking in the empty search bar. After a few minutes and a significant amount of emotional effort, he searched for 'adult dance classes'. Almost immediately, the screen was full of dance studios offering classes, and he had to breathe through the knot of anxiety that formed from the sheer number of options. He scrolled past ballet (I couldn't do ballet back when I was in shape), hip hop (I'm not nearly confident enough for that), and tango (No way I'm getting that close to a stranger), but none of them felt right. It had been so long; if he made the wrong choice, it would destroy what little confidence he had, potentially stopping him from ever dancing again. That's a bit dramatic, the small, logical part of his brain insisted. Dancing is part of you; it's in your blood. You could never give it up forever. You're here now, after everything that happened. That voice, however, was drowned out by his anxiety. Until he saw it.

Beginner West Coast Swing! No experience or partner needed. 8-9pm Tuesdays. $18 drop-in, $45 all 3 weeks.

West Coast Swing. Perfect. Upbeat and energetic, but not too technically demanding at first, and half the fun is in the tension held in the space between partners. And it starts tomorrow, so there's no time to chicken out. He followed the website's registration process, signing up for all four weeks. It's only four hours over the course of the month, he figured. Even if it went horribly, he'd gotten through worse.

After registering, he quickly shut his laptop and went to dig out his old dance shoes. Hopefully they still fit; a lot has changed over the last five years. They did, just barely.

-

Tuesday

Virgil walked into the studio at 7:55, his heart pounding. Immediately, he was greeted by a very tall man, likely in his early thirties, with a clipboard in one hand.

"Hello, and welcome! I am Logan Sanders; I own the studio. Are you here for west coast swing?" Logan stuck his hand out.

"Uh, hi, nice to meet you. My name's Virgil." Virgil shook his hand. "Yeah, I registered online yesterday." Logan checked the clipboard, and looked back up at Virgil.

"Wonderful, I have you right here. Follow me, your class is going to be held in the Blue Room." Virgil followed him through a huge room with floor-to-ceiling mirrors and through a door off to the side. Silently, he thanked whatever deities that might be listening that the class wasn't in that room and prayed that the Blue Room would have fewer mirrors. Fortunately, it only had a few mirrors on the far wall; it was clear that they would rarely, if ever, use them. "Alright, here we are. Have fun, and please do not hesitate to let me know if there are any issues." Logan gave him a small smile and adjusted his glasses before practically gliding out of the room. That man did decades of ballet; I'd bet my life on it.

Virgil slunk around the fifteen or so people who were milling about on the dance floor waiting for the class to start. Once he got to a bench in the corner, he changed into his dance shoes and reluctantly took off his hoodie. Instead of joining his classmates on the floor; he took this opportunity to observe them. They were largely what he expected, most of them looked to be between twenty-five and thirty, with the exceptions of himself, at twenty-two, and a couple who were probably around sixty.

"Good evening! My name is Patton Sanders, and I'm your west coast swing teacher! Alright, let's line up; leads to my left, and follows to my right."

Virgil froze. He hadn't considered if he'd rather lead or follow. He felt the teacher's eyes on him, however, and had to make a decision. Something in his gut told him to follow, so he fell in line to Patton's right. He immediately noticed that there were more follows than leads, and briefly chastised himself for choosing wrong. Fortunately, Patton's voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

"I see a bunch of familiar faces tonight; thank you so much for coming back! Your focus this month should be on moving beyond the basics. Focus on your posture, your technique, and your styling." Patton looked at all of his students, giving them all a blinding smile. "New students, thank you for joining us! West Coast Swing is incredibly unique. Unlike most other ballroom dances, what really matters is the energy and elasticity between partners, and each partner is given far more independence than in other styles. But listen to me, getting ahead of myself," Patton giggled. "None of that matters if you don't know how to move your feet! Okay, let's start with the leads." Patton walked them through the basic step, giving Virgil a chance to assess his future partners. The dance snob he used to be scoffed; he was not impressed with anything that he was seeing, but some of them seemed to have potential. Reminding himself that he won't be good at this at first either, he focused on the leads' basic step and constructing the most likely follows' counterpart.

"Fantastic, now ladies, your basic is very similar," Virgil flinched. In the excitement of starting to dance again, he'd forgotten about his wide hips, and he didn't have a binder in the right size to exercise without potentially causing a lot of damage. Just dance, Virgil. Remember how it all fades away. Focus on the steps, so you can build a foundation strong enough that you will be able to leave everything but the music behind. Virgil did just that, quickly picking up the step.

"Awesome! Okay, let's partner up; I'll put on the music and come dance with y'all who don't have partners." Virgil was one of the two follows without a partner, and he stifled a laugh when "Madness" by Muse started playing through the speakers. It probably does seem kind of mad, doing this alone. Patton called out "5, 6, 7, 8!" and they all started moving. Virgil did his best alone, but it wasn't long until Patton took his hand and started leading. Virgil only then realized that his posture had been terrible. He straightened up and looked Patton in the eye, and he thought he saw approval there. They danced for a little bit longer before Patton gave him a thumbs-up and went to turn off the music.

"That looked really great, you guys. That's officially all the time we have, but I'll put some music on for a bit longer if any of you want to hang around and keep dancing!" Virgil wanted to stay for a while longer. It felt so good to be dancing again, to feel that powerful and confident, but he saw himself in the mirror and practically ran to put his hoodie back on and change his shoes so he could leave. When he got to the door, he hesitated and looked back, but he quickly turned back around and went home, deciding to not risk getting misgendered again and ruining his post-dance elation.

--

The next week, Virgil approached Patton after class, heart hammering in his chest.

"Uh, Patton? Can we talk for a minute?"

"Of course! Virgil, right? What's up?"

Virgil looked down, afraid of what he might see in his teacher's eyes. "My pronouns are he/him. I know I don't look it, but…." Virgil hesitated, not sure how to finish the thought, "yeah. He/him."

"Oh, my! Thanks for letting me know! I won't misgender you again." Surprised, Virgil looked up to see a smile on Patton's face. "By the way, what's your dance history, if you don't mind me asking? You clearly have a whole bunch." Virgil hoped his blush wasn't as strong as it felt.

"Um, it was pretty much all in high school. Dance classes for PE credit, danced in all of the musicals, and I took some jazz classes outside of school. Haven't danced since graduating, though." Clearly Patton read between the lines; his face softened, but it was with understanding, not pity, as Virgil had feared.

"Well, whatever happened back then, welcome back. You've got a lot of talent, and I'm excited to see where it takes you, if you choose to stick with it. See you next week, kiddo!" Virgil thanked him and left, head held high.

-

The following class passed without incident. Virgil learned and grew as a dancer immensely, and, when given the opportunity, he signed up for the next cycle, excited to learn more. Nothing could have prepared him for that next class.

--------

The class started completely normally. Virgil arrived, put on his new dance shoes, and waited for Patton to start the class. He was so wrapped up in mentally reviewing the patterns from the previous weeks, he didn't notice that there were new students until Patton had them partner up and someone took his hand.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that Virgil Raine is very, very gay. He had had his fair share of Gay Panic moments, but none of them compared to what happened in Virgil's head when he made eye contact with the stranger holding his hand. He was shorter than Virgil, with curly black hair and eyes like brown enstatite that sparkled with confidence.

The stranger gave him a blinding smile. "Pleasure to meet you; I'm Roman."

"V- Virgil." He was amazed that his voice worked, and he thanked every deity he could think of that Patton cut him off, giving the class a pattern and counting them off.

Virgil stood tall, more confident in his abilities to dance than to talk to Roman, and then they started moving. Virgil's biggest struggle in west coast swing was the concept of connection, of creating and maintaining the elasticity that is a fundamental part of the dance. With Roman, however, the connection was instant and perfect. As Roman led him through a left-side pass into a whip, he felt alive in ways he hadn't in years, especially since Patton hadn't said anything about doing a whip. He knew it was cliche as hell, but he could have sworn that the rest of the world stopped existing- for those short minutes, all that existed was him, Roman, and the music.

All too soon, however, the music stopped, and the spell was broken. Virgil stepped back, painfully aware of how much he was blushing.

"Looking good, y'all! Leads, rotate, and let's do it again!"

Roman winked. "Thanks for the dance, stormcloud," he said before turning and walking down the line, not giving Virgil a chance to respond. Stunned, Virgil took his new partner's hand and went through the pattern by rote, too distracted to pay attention to connection or styling.

The rest of the class passed in a similar fashion- Virgil trying to keep his cool and not look at Roman too much. They were partnered once more before class ended. Neither of them said anything, but the connection and energy was even more intense, if anything, and Roman's flamboyant styling left Virgil reeling. As soon as class ended, he put his headphones on, turned his music up, changed his shoes, and left. He felt a pair of eyes on him as he left the studio. He wasn't sure whether or not he wanted that feeling to be correct.

Once he was safely out of the building, he texted his best friend, Declan.

[Emo]: askfkaldjsl there's a really cute guy in my west coast swing class, and he can Dance. By far the best dancer in the class who isn't the teacher. Extra as hell, based on two interactions. I'm literally too gay to function help

[Snek]: Gay panic is so pure

[Snek]: Fuck YEAH dude

[Emo]: Helpful as always, D.

[Snek]: You know I just call it like it is. So are you gonna make a move, or just write another fanfic that basically is just a self-insert about what could have been if you weren't a coward?

[Emo]: Hey, I only did that ONCE, and I didn't even finish it, let alone post it.

[Snek]: *raises an eyebrow* are you sure about that?

[Emo]: Okay, twice, and yeah I posted that second one. But it wasn't even really a fic, just a list of ideas that developed something like a plot.

[Snek]: So….? What are you gonna do about this unnamed hottie?

[Emo]: Play it by ear. Two more weeks of class gives me two more weeks to gather information.

[Snek]: No comment on not knowing his name?

[Emo]: Damn i was hoping that'd slide by. It's Roman.

[Snek]: Good strong name. Maybe I'll show up and take a shot at him

[Emo]: *hiss* Fuck off he's mine. Besides, you have someone. Someone you still refUSE TO TELL ME ABOUT, BITCH

[Snek]: Love you too <3

Virgil closed his phone and drove home, in desperate need of a shower and a good night's sleep.

--

Virgil walked into the studio, head low with his hood up and headphones playing louder than was safe for him or the electronics, but he didn't care. What mattered was quieting the voice in his head that had been saying 'Why would he look twice at you? You're a mediocre dancer at best, and you know he's misgendering you in his head. You know from experience how few people want to date trans guys. Wrong parts for gay guys, wrong gender for straight guys. Putting yourself out there would be a disaster' for the last week. I'm here to dance, he reminded himself, not to flirt.

He quickly got to the Blue Room and changed his shoes, not bothering to take off his hoodie or headphones until the last possible minute- nothing calmed his nerves like Gerard Way not being okay either. When the time came, he reluctantly shed his armor and took his place in the line of follows.

Class began as normal; a brief review of previous lessons and a few warm-up patterns. Virgil kept his attention on Patton or his current partner. While this strategy kept his eyes and mind (mostly) off of Roman, it meant that he was entirely unprepared when it was their turn to dance together.

"Virgil, right?" Roman asked, eyes still infuriatingly bright.

"Yep. What's up, Roman?" Virgil smirked, surprising even himself. Patton counted them off, but that didn't stop Roman from responding as they went through the series.

"Ah, you can speak! I'm doing fabulously. And you?"

"Fine. Just trying to learn, princey." To Virgil's surprise, Roman was silent for the rest of the dance, and didn't say anything before moving to his next partner, either. Shit. Good job, Virgil. Why did you even call him that? Figuring there wasn't really anything he could do about it, Virgil tried to put it out of his mind and keep focusing on Patton's lesson.

As in the previous class, he danced with Roman one more time, right at the end. The pattern was complex, and the music was fast, so there wasn't any opportunity to talk until after the music stopped and Patton dismissed the class.

"Thanks for the dances, Roman. You're a great dancer." He turned to leave, not wanting to stick around for small talk.

"Wait, Virgil!" He turned around to see a look on Roman's face that he couldn't quite figure out. "Why'd you call me 'princey'? How did you know?"

Virgil furrowed his brow, confused. "Know what? Dunno where the nickname came from, you just kinda carry yourself like you think you're royalty or something."

"You really didn't know that my last name is Prince?" Roman looked up at him, incredulous.

"I swear I didn't. While we're on the topic of nicknames, why did you call me 'stormcloud' last week?" Virgil was surprised to see Roman look down and fidget with the hem of his shirt.

"Your hoodie. It has that purple stormcloud on it. And your energy isn't exactly sunshine and rainbows."

Virgil chucked. "I didn't think you were that observant. See you next week, princey." Virgil smirked.

"Looking forward to it," Roman responded. Well, Virgil thought that's what he said. His brain short-circuited when Roman said 'looking' and revealed a silver stud in the middle of his tongue.

Completely unable to speak, Virgil turned and hurried to his stuff, shoving his headphones in his ears and changing his shoes as fast as possible. He didn't even take the time to put his hoodie back on before practically running out of the studio to his car.

[Emo]: 911 HE HAS A FUCKING TONGUE PIERCING I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW I WAS INTO THAT

[Snek]: Who, roman? Oh shit. I distinctly remember you telling me once that you definitely *aren't* into tongue piercings. Damn you are SO WHIPPED. This guy must be a fuckin Adonis

[Emo]: I'm not whipped. He just really is that hot. And sassy. And observant. And funny.

[Snek]: …

[Emo]: ah, fuck. I really am whipped. But I think it might not be one-sided. You know how terrible I am at flirting?

[Snek]: Whatever could you possibly mean? Being a sarcastic ass is peak flirting. *Everyone* knows that.

[Emo]: No need to be a bitch about it. Anyway, I unintentionally did a whole bunch of it, and he gave it right back. Maybe even better than I did?

[Snek]: Boy that's your fuckin soulmate. If you really pulled a You as a first conversation and didn't scare him off, hold the fuck on to him

[Emo]: you know I hate it when you do that. And yeah, I don't plan on letting him go. Next week is the last week of the class. I'll ask him out after. That way, if he rejects me, we never see each other again. No harm, no foul.

[Snek]: Solid plan. I gotta go- date night. Talk later?

[Emo]: You gotta tell me who this mystery person is. It's been *months*, and I still don't know anything about them.

[Snek]: About whomst? Significant other? I don't know her.

Rolling his eyes at his enigmatic friend, Virgil drove home.

----

The next week, unlike previous weeks, he walked into the studio, head held high, not wearing headphones. He had a plan and the confidence of a man with nothing to lose.

Virgil danced through the class better than he ever had before. As usual, he was partnered with Roman a few times, but aside from a brief greeting, neither of them said anything, but Virgil thought he felt a silent conversation between them as they danced- a meeting of two souls consumed by a love of dance.

Before he knew it, class was over. He took a moment to collect his thoughts under the guise of changing his shoes before looking around to find Roman. When he did, his heart stopped. Roman was in the middle of the dance floor, gliding effortlessly through what appeared to be an argentine tango. His partner was about Virgil's height, with sharp, high cheekbones and a flawless jawline. He couldn't see their eyes; they were hidden behind a pair of dark sunglasses. What really made Virgil's stomach knot was the fact that their styling was likely in violation of public indecency laws- the two of them clearly knew each other intimately. Blinking away tears, Virgil grabbed his things and ran to his car. He went to text Declan and saw that he already had a message from him.

[Snek]: So how'd it go, loverboy? When's the date?

[Emo]: There won't be a date. He's with someone. A gorgeous someone. I didn't know an argentine tango could look *that* much like sex on the dance floor.

[Snek]: Oh shit, Virge, I'm so sorry. Do you want me to kill that guy for you? Because it sounds like he sucks, and I will totally kill him for you.

[Emo]: thanks, but no. I can't fucking breathe, D. Why the fuck do I always do this? Why can't I feel things a normal amount? Why do I let my heart run away like this?

[Snek]: I could give you a smartass answer about your childhood traumas, but the bottom line is that it's because you are a deeply good and caring person. The fact that you choose to see the best in people despite everything you've been through is incredible, Virgil. Now, get your cute butt home. I'll meet you there with ice cream, and we're gonna watch Nightmare Before Christmas and talk it out, okay?

[Emo]: Give me half an hour to get home and showered. Love you <3

Ten minutes later, Virgil unlocked his front door and turned on the light.

"Well helloooo, Virgil," a familiar voice drawled.

Virgil let out a scream that neither man knew he was capable of. "Declan you sack of shit I'm going to fucking murder you. My internal organs have had enough stress today, thank you very fucking much. I said half an hour."

"I know you did, but I also know you. Right now, you're spiraling into self-loathing, and the easiest outlet for that is dysphoria. I would be a terrible friend if I let you suffer through that alone."

"I thought we agreed that you weren't gonna psychoanalyze me." Virgil cocked an eyebrow, his heart rate returning to almost normal. "Are you offering to shower with me?"

"It's not psychoanalysis. It's just knowing my best friend and his self-destructive tendencies. And no, I'm not. I'm just here for emotional support. We both know that that smart brain of yours likes to tell you all sorts of lies, and-"

"And you're a human polygraph. I got it. Thanks, Dec. I'll be back out as soon as possible. Make yourself at home- you know where everything is." Virgil turned and walked towards the bathroom.

"Easy on the hair product- it your hair is full of goop, it'll fuck my eczema up, so I won't cuddle you!" Declan called out after him. Virgil flipped him off, but they both knew that he would not only eschew hair products but also use the eczema-friendly body wash they both pretended he hadn't bought just so they could cuddle more comfortably for Declan.

Fifteen minutes later, Virgil returned to the living room. He expected Declan to make him talk through the storm that was going on in his head, but instead they watched movies and joked around all night. The only talk of dancing that night was Virgil confirming that he would not give it up for anything, let alone some guy, no matter how cute.

--

Virgil had been so wrapped up in thoughts of Roman, he missed why the following week's class was a one-day workshop instead of a new cycle, but he figured it didn't really matter. He was there to dance, logistical semantics be damned.

His resolution to stick with the classes no matter what was immediately tested when he entered the ballroom and saw Roman on the floor dancing with the same man from the previous week. At least it's west coast swing this time, Virgil mused as he changed his shoes and tried not to stare. Fortunately, it wasn't long before Patton started the class.

Unfortunately, it also wasn't long before Virgil and Roman were partners.

"Hello again, stormcloud!" Roman said as he began leading Virgil through the pattern.

Virgil nodded curtly. "Roman."

"What's with the attitude, Edgar Allen Woe?" Virgil told himself he was imagining the hurt in Roman's voice.

"We're here to dance, not chit-chat." Roman tried to lead Virgil through a turn, but he tripped over his own feet. Because Virgil was in the middle of that turn, he was thrown off balance as well. In an instant, both men were on the floor, Roman on top of Virgil.

"Well hello there," Roman laughed.

"Get. Off. Now." Virgil shoved Roman off of him and scrambled back to his feet, praying that his blush wasn't as scarlet as it felt. The blush was, of course, completely from the embarrassment of falling in front of the class and had nothing to do with being underneath Roman.

Patton, fully aware of the tension between the two dancers as well as Virgil's shyness, quickly grabbed the class' attention and moved on with the lesson. Patton showed mercy on Virgil and prolonged the time between partner rotations to keep him from having to dance with Roman again. I hope those kiddos work out whatever's going on between them, but they can't do it during my class time.

For the rest of the hour, Virgil kept his head down unless absolutely necessary and tried to learn as much as possible, but he just couldn't focus. Remembering how close Roman was with flecks of gold in his eyes and clearly as muscular as Virgil had imagined had him grateful for the first and only time that he wasn't assigned male at birth- the situation would have been far more awkward than it already was if there was even the slightest possibility of a boner to deal with.

Eventually, the class ended, and Virgil hurried out of the studio as per usual. This time, however, he was followed. He was barely out of the studio when Roman called after him.

"Virgil! Wait! Please!"

Virgil turned to face him, anxiety about this conversation manifesting in anger. "What do you want, Roman?"

"A date with you." Roman's shoulders dropped, and he suddenly seemed very interested in his shoes.

"W- what?" Roman stood tall and looked Virgil in the eye.

"Will you go out with me? I know you felt what I did when we danced. Before tonight, I mean. Please, go out with me, let's give that energy a shot off of the dance floor." Virgil's eyes flashed with hope, want, and caution.

"What about your boyfriend?" Virgil spat.

"What are you talking about? What boyfriend?"

"I'm not an idiot, Roman. Tall, sunglasses, dances with you with a chemistry I've never seen before? WHAT?" Virgil snapped, when Roman started laughing.

"That, Virgil, is Remy. My best friend. My best friend who agreed to pick me up last time and come with me today to help me show off for you. We've been dancing together since we were eight; of course we have damn good chemistry. But that connection is nothing to what I felt when we danced that first time. We have something special, Virgil. Please, tell me you felt it too." Virgil stepped forward, closing the gap between them.

"I- I'm not good with words," he whispered, gently tilting Roman's head up and leaning down so that their lips were almost touching. "Yes, I felt it too." Virgil searched his face, looking for discomfort. "Can I kiss you, Roman?"

Instead of responding, Roman lifted onto the balls of his feet and pressed his lips to Virgil's. After a split second of shock, Virgil deepened the kiss, wrapping his arms around Roman's torso and lifted him to his height. He quickly put him down, however, when they heard a wolf-whistle and a "WHOOP!".

Embarrassed, Virgil and Roman looked to see Remy and Declan standing at the door of the studio, smiling and laughing.

"I told you not to sweat it, girl. I couldn't tell you how bad my boy has it for yours, because he made me promise not to tell anyone, but look at that." Remy winked at Declan.

"Yes, and this totally wouldn't have been easier if we just told them how the other felt, like I definitely didn't suggest weeks ago." Declan rolled his eyes.

Virgil looked at the two of them suspiciously. "You two know each other?"

"Obviously, babe. Who do you think D's been seeing all these months?"

Virgil turned to Roman. "Did you know about this?"

"I mean, I knew Remy was seeing Declan, but I had no idea he was your friend. You know what this means though, right?"

"What does it mean?" Virgil asked, apprehensive.

"The most epic double dates of all time!" Roman punctuated his proclamation with a flourish. Virgil, Declan, and Remy all let out a groan.

The four men swapped numbers as needed and parted ways with promises to see each other again soon.

[f-l-writes]

Perfect Man

Warnings: swearing, glancing over a break down

Word Count: 1.8 K (I would say sorry for how short it is but the prompt, I feel, worked better for a shorter story than what I usually write)

Hope you enjoy and feel free to request!

You sighed as you stared down at the calculus work before you, free hand tangled in your hair as you struggled to comprehend the just what the fuck was written on the pages that littered your desk. You had been studying for your calculus test since it had been announced and yet you still couldn’t wrap your head around the concept.

“What the fuck do I even need this for?” you shouted at the wall in front of you, letting out a groan before letting your forehead rest on the notebook you were using for notes.

“Can’t I just afford not to do this review?” you continued to question yourself, turning in your chair to grab the laptop you had banished to the side of your desk.

Picking up the device, you logged in before going to where you could check your grades. When you saw them, however, your heart plummeted.

In calculus, you were hovering just about an F, the same for anatomy and French 4. The other three classes were high C’s or above but those were the least of your concerns. You couldn’t even begin to fathom how you had managed to get such atrocious grades considering you had been doing all your work and turning it in on time to ensure something like this didn’t happen.

However, upon clicking the links to see why, you saw that all the assignments you had been turning in had either been entered as missing or were just completely zero’s. You couldn’t believe your eyes. Quickly, after seeing the grades and what was going on, you went to work with messaging each of the three teachers you were missing stuff for, despite knowing you had turned it in. As you did this, you couldn’t help but to recognize the feel of your heart constricting in your chest, hurting you slightly.

In this moment, as you finally sent off the final email, it seemed as though your life was coming down around you. Thoughts of a failed future began to fill your mind and, finally, you began to sob.

While stressing over studying and then being faced with the revelation of your failing grades, you failed to notice your boyfriend, Song Min Gi, blowing up your phone before promising to head over to your place to check on you. When you heard your bedroom door creak open, you jumped, spinning in your chair to face the person who had intruded in your time of weakness.

Quickly, you had wiped your eyes, trying to contain yourself in front of the man you loved so dearly.

“Y/N?” Min Gi questioned, flicking on your overhead light, filling the rest of the room away from your desk with light.

“O-Oh,” you sniffled a bit, forcing a smile to your face as you spoke up again. “Hey, Gi. What’re you doing here?”

“Y/N… don’t act like you’re alright just because I showed up,” he stated, beginning to walk towards you. “I heard you crying, what’s going on?”

Upon hearing just how truly the concerned the man seemed to be, your wall crumbled and your eyes welled with tears again, your mind filling with negative nonsense again as you tried to answer him with as even of a voice as possible. This, of course, proved harder than it seemed as it felt like your throat was closing up on you.

“I’m-” you choked on your words, lowering your head and hiding your face behind your hand as you tried to compose yourself, working up the will to speak without crying. “I’m failing three of my classes.”

Upon hearing the words aloud, you knew that they were real and you hadn’t simply just misread the letters on the screen. With hearing them hanging in the air, you began to cry again, your chest tightening as you tried to stifle the sobs. This had become a chore to do as well as you spilled your fears to your boyfriend through the strangled speech.

“I don’t know what to do, Min Gi. We’re nearing the end of the year and I don’t want to have to rely on you once I graduate,” you admitted to him. “I want to be able to go to college but if anywhere sees my grades, they wouldn’t accept me and it’s going to bring down my GPA and,” you had to stop to catch your breath, Min Gi now taking the time to pull you into a tight embrace, cutting you off before you could speak again.

“Babe, it’ll be alright,” he said quietly. “You won’t have to rely on me. You’re such an amazing person and you’re smart enough to prove that should be in those colleges whether your grades reflect that to them or not.” Min Gi rubbed gentle circles over your back before switching to run his hand over your hair, petting it gently.

“I just don’t want you to see me as a disappointment, Min Gi. You mean so much to me and I just want to be able to be able to support myself without you having to worry about both of us,” you hiccuped, closing your eyes.

“Even if I had to support both of us until you were thirty, I would. You mean the world to me, Y/N and I’m here to help you. Now tell me, did you message your teachers already?”

You nodded slowly, finally removing yourself from your boyfriend’s grasp, seeing he now donned a gentle smile on his face. His hands had quickly gone to cup your cheeks, pressing slightly and squishing them, causing his smile to only a widen.

“We’re going out on a date right now. You can worry about studying later and I want you to check your emails in the morning to see if anything is fixed. For now, focus on me. Not on school. Not on life, just on me. Let this be your break from studying for a bit and, when we come back, if you still want to study, I can help you,” he stated.

You nodded slowly before standing from the chair, Min Gi straightening himself up as well. He didn’t give you any time to change into new clothes before he was pulling you out the door and dragging you down to his car, getting you in the car and buckling in before walking over to the driver’s side and getting in as well.

As soon as he was situated, he buckled himself in and started the car, pulling out of the driveway of the small house you had been living in since the beginning of the year. Once he was turned towards the main road, he had taken his right hand off the wheel and interlaced his fingers with your own, his thumb rubbing over the back of your hand as he drove.

Already, you were beginning to calm down, though you felt worn out as well. However, you didn’t say anything, wanting to know what your angel of a boyfriend had in mind.

Pulling up to an old ice cream shop you used to frequent, Min Gi parked the car before getting out and rushing to your door, pulling the barrier open before he helped you out, walking up to the door by your side before pulling it open. You adored the perfect gentlemen act, glad that he was taking time out of his day to spend beside you to make sure you were alright.

After asking for what you wanted, he walked up to the worker and ordered while you found a seat in the back corner that looked out over the street, cars driving by at blurring speeds. When you felt something cold touch your cheek, you let out a startled gasp, turning to see Min Gi chuckled before wiping your cheek of the ice cream he had left there, passing you your treat.

Thanking him quietly, you began to lick at the treat, appreciative of the way it somewhat soothed your raw throat. Looking over at Min Gi, you wondered how you had been so lucky as to land him as a boyfriend. He was one of the most caring and considerate men you’d ever met in your life and, if someone had told you that he was a player, you’d just have to laugh them off because he had treated you with nothing but respect since the beginning.

Min Gi dedicated every free second with you, showering you with words of praise and love and adoration. He spent so many nights at your house just cuddling you that you didn’t understand why he didn’t just move in with you. And, like tonight, he was always there when you needed him most. He was your rock and you couldn’t imagine life without him anymore.

“I love you, Min Gi,” you said suddenly, startling the male.

That had been the first I love you in your relationship. A year and a half of dating and the only thing that had ever come close before now was I appreciate you or I care so much about you. But now, the words were spoken and you weren’t sure if you would take them back or not if you could.

However, upon seeing his face light up brightly, his lips curling into a large smile, you knew that it had proven to be a good idea.

“I love you, too, Y/N,” he replied, a visible happiness lingering for the rest of the ice cream date.

Finishing up, the two of you walked back out to his car before getting in, deciding to sit in the lot for a little while longer instead of leaving, basking in the comfortable silence until Min Gi spoke up, breaking the silence.

“I know you have a hard time admitting when things get hard,” he started, shifting himself in his seat to look at you, “but I want you to know that no matter what, I’m here for you. Any complaint. Be it about school, work, people, whatever. I’m here for you. I’m always here if you need a shoulder to cry on.”

“I know, Gi. And you know the same goes for you. I’m sorry for pushing you away lately. I should have told you sooner but I was just so caught up with everything,” you admitted, reaching across the center console to grab his hand, closing your eyes for a moment as you did so.

“When we get back to your place, why don’t we head to bed? I’ll be beside you while you talk to your teachers tomorrow and, if we still can’t get your grades fixed, then I’ll be beside you while you talk to the teachers in person.”

You chuckled a slight bit before nodding, thinking it sounded like a decent plan. In the back of your mind, there was still the anxiety about your future and the grades but, with Min Gi by your side, it felt alright for now. Everything felt good and you were happy to be able to call him yours, knowing no one else would be as perfect for you as he was.

[xmystophalesx]

Best New Heavy Metal Releases Week of September 2nd, 2022

Another week with a ton of great albums being released. Two MAJOR releases from two of the top Metal bands in the world. Unfortunately, when this happens, it casts a bit of shadow on some of the not as well known bands out there but that is where I come in. I won’t overlook them and I will pass on that information to you. With as long as last week’s post was, I am attempting to make this one shorter even though I once again have 10 highly deserving albums in the highlight section.

Blind Guardian-The God Machine (Power)**

I honestly do not believe that Blind Guardian has a bad album. There is, however, some variance to just how good some are compared to others. I think most would agree the band’s Magnum opus is “Nightfall in Middle Earth”. Using that as a gauge and looking at all their other records, this one falls squarely in the very upper reaches and I would contend this is the best album they have done since Nightfall. This is the Pick of the Week and it could very well be my album of the year. There are still 3 months to go but this album is absolutely incredible and it will take a pretty special record to top this. Avantasia has one coming out soon…..

Megadeth-The Sick, The Dying…and The Dead (Thrash/Heavy)**

From one of the best Blind Guardian albums in 20 years to one of the best Megadeth albums in 20 years. This album is getting quite a few rave reviews out there and I will agree mostly with a lot of what people are saying. I have one issue with this album, however. The songwriting borrows quite a bit from previous Megadeth albums. You may not notice it at first, but on repeated listens you will pick it out if you are a fan of their previous albums. For example, “We’ll Be Back” borrows pretty heavily from the song “Black Friday”. Either way, this album is still a complete banger and definitely worthy of being in the highlight section.

Whitespade-Whitespade (Heavy/Speed)**

Do you like the band Midnight? How could you not? Do you like the band Motorhead? Pretty sure if you are a metal head, this is a requirement. Well, here you have Midnight paying homage to Motorhead and holy shit, do they ever nail it. This album sounds like an album that should have come out right around the “Bomber” and “Ace of Spades” Motorhead albums. Incredibly fun album. Don’t miss this one.

Ensanguinate-Eldritch Anatomy (Death)**

Debut album from this Death Metal band out of Slovenia and I swear it sounds like this band is 4 or 5 albums in already. This is old school Death Metal but with plenty of modern flourishes here. Now and then you will get a tinge of Black Metal if you listen closely. This gives it a bit of an angrier tone (as if Death Metal needed that…lol). Killer guitar work, drums with fills for days and vocals that verbally assault you. A band to definitely keep an eye out for. If the debut is this good I can only imagine what we might get in the future.

Aeternam-Heir of the Rising Sun (Symphonic Death/Folk)**

I have been a BIG fan of this band for quite some time. To be completely honest, if this album had come out damn near any other week, it would have taken the top spot easily. If there is one word to truly express where the band feels to be at on this album, that word is CONFIDENCE. This band has this Symphonic Melodic Death Metal down to an absolute science. There is no wasted space on any of the songs on display here. Everything sounds perfectly placed and delivered with the aforementioned confidence. This album will take you on a journey you may not want to come back from. Best album of their career and that is saying something when you look at the quality of their releases.

That will do it for this week and I actually feel bad about cutting it off there as the other 5 highlight albums are incredible as well. So much incredible music! Until next week and, as always,

BANG THY HEAD!!!

All worthy of a listen if you like the genre

*= standout in that genre

**=best of the week regardless of genre

Best of the Week

Blind Guardian-The God Machine (Power)**

Megadeth-The Sick, The Dying…and The Dead (Thrash/Heavy)**

Trial-Feed the Fire (Heavy/Traditional)**

Whitespade-Whitespade (Heavy/Speed)**

Asylum-Tyrannicide (Thrash)**

Infantry-Terminal Society (Death/Thrash)**

Pure Massacre-Pure Massacre (Death/Thrash)**

Ensanguinate-Eldritch Anatomy (Death)**

Fear Disease-Floodgates (Death/Thrash)**

Aeternam-Heir of the Rising Sun (Symphonic Death/Folk)**

Standouts in their Genre

Spiral Wounds-Shadows (Death/Black)*

Kings X-Three Sides of One (Hard Rock)*

Defacing God-The Resurrection of Lilith (Melodic Death/Symphonic)*

Fearwell-Well of Fear (Melodic Death/Thrash)*

Oathbringer-Tales of Glory (Heavy/Speed)*

Gallia-Obscura (Symphonic/Heavy/Power)*

Mantic Ritual-Heart Set Stone (Thrash)*

Kalah-Descent into Human Weakness (Progressive Power)*

Feather Mountain-To Exit a Maelstrom (Hard Rock/Progressive)*

Heads for the Dead-The Great Conjuration (Death)*

Imperium(Imperium)-Ex Mortis Gloria (Technical Death)*

King Buffalo-Regenerator (Hard Rock/Sludge)*

Mad Max-Wings of Time (Heavy/Hard Rock)*

Wine From Tears-I’m Fine (Melodic Doom/Death)*

Andy Gillion-Arcade Metal (Instrumental/Shred)*

Worthy of a listen if you enjoy the genre

Titanskull-Titanomachy (Heavy/Speed/Thrash)

Wampyric Rites-The Wolves Howl to the Moon (Raw Black)

Behead-Choose Your Death (Death/Thrash)

Pursuit-Scourge of Humanity (Death/Thrash)

Argash-Unleash (Death/Black)

Figure of Speechless-Tunnel at the End of Light (Progressive)

The Hu-Rumble of Thunder (Folk)

Ritual Kannabis-II (Death)

Disfallen-The Echoing Despair (Doom/Death)

Geistlicht-Hidden in the Mists (Atmospheric Black)

Under the Oak-Rattle Norvegicus (Heavy)

Mormieben-De Charybde En Scylla (Folk)

Silence Before the Storm-The End of Sanity (Melodic Death/Groove)

No surprise here as Blind Guardian take the top spot with 5 I wish I actually had that many bulldogs out of a possible 5!

[nelliievance]

Benefits of Time-restricted Eating

Time-restricted eating is a type of intermittent fasting that I find easy to do. Lots of nutrition, longevity, and medical experts agree on the benefits of intermittent fasting. For one thing, it allows the body to do an internal cleanup cycle known as autophagy that gets rid of damaged components in cells. Research on the mechanisms of autophagy led to a Nobel prize in 2016. It also can be a useful weight loss tool. It is interesting that nutrition experts that disagree on other aspects of eating agree that intermittent fasting is beneficial. For example, low-carb advocates and whole-food plant-based advocates both agree on intermittent fasting. There is a good review of the science on the benefits of fasting in Ref [1], available online here. I’ve also discussed some of its benefits previously. There are some caveats about it, for one thing it can be a bad idea for people with eating disorders. I’d definitely recommend doublechecking with your Dr. before trying it if you have any doubts.

Fasting sounds pretty extreme, and there certainly are versions of it that are, but in it’s mildest form you can eat 3 meals a day, but just don’t eat dinner too late and don’t snack after dinner. I first got into this by accident because I would snack at night and get acid reflux at bedtime. So I stopped snacking at night, but still would have a problem if dinner was a heavy meal. Then I made dinner a lighter meal and the problem was solved. My wife and I eat breakfast about 8 AM and are done with dinner by about 6 AM, so with no evening snacking I’d accidentally blundered into time-restricted eating, with a “fast” from dinner to breakfast of 14 hours. Lots of cultures around the world emphasize eating heavier earlier in the day and lighter later.

In addition, I’ve also done a longer fast by not eating breakfast immediately on arising for some time, but I usually only do it a couple of days a week, when I’m planning a long easy workout. This helped me to achieve a good level of fat adaptation. I had some concern about doing it on days when I worked out harder because there is some talk on the internet about it causing muscle loss. I hadn’t done enough research on the science, it turns out muscle loss is easily avoidable, which I’ll revisit below.

http://www.Amaxon.com/books

But what really made we want to look into skipping breakfast (or, equivalently, replacing breakfast and lunch with brunch) every day instead of a couple of days a week was reading the inspiring book The Health Experiment: My Intermittent Fasting Story, by Cheryl Gremban. She is a retired nurse, who was overweight (based on her BMI, medically in the obese category), despite having tried various attempts at healthier eating, including Weight Watchers. The book starts while she was still active in her hectic career. She had recently become a nurse supervisor, and as a kind-hearted person was working long hours supporting both her patients and staff. She was too exhausted to exercise after her shifts.

In her sixties, she reached the point of giving up after meticulously counting calories for a month, using her medical training to do it scientifically. Calories in, calories out. Guaranteed to work, right? She gained a pound during the month.

At this point she heard about time-restricted eating from a friend, and after doing research convincing herself there was sound science behind it, gave it a try. The results after 30 days were encouraging so she kept going. The book chronicles her odyssey, which led her to normal weight and much improved health. What really caught my eye was her extremely healthy blood testing results. She ended up retiring from nursing and having a much more active lifestyle towards the end of the journey. In part two of the book she gives her tips on following time-restricted eating as a lifestyle.

Implementing Time-restricted Eating

There are various ways of implementing time-restricted eating. As I mentioned above the easiest is just not eating dinner too late and avoiding evening snacks. This can easily result in a 14 hour fast. Longer fasts usually comes down to skipping at least one meal. Some people eat a hearty breakfast and lunch but don’t eat dinner, while some skip breakfast and eat lunch and dinner. The latter is what works well for me, and is also what Cheryl follows in the book. I found that once I became reasonably fat adapted, I’m just not that hungry on arising and can easily postpone eating till lunchtime. That was driven home for me the last time I had to do bloodwork, and was not able to get an early morning appointment so had to go, in the fasted state, at 11:30. In the past I would have dreaded making it through that morning without eating, but now it was not a problem.

The idea is that your “window” of eating be restricted to at most 10 hours. Most people do better if it’s somewhat less, Mine is a little under 7 hours, while through most of the book Cheryl follows an 8 hour window, although she was experimenting with tightening it towards the end. As an example, for a dinner-skipper, if you have breakfast at 7:00 am, and finish lunch by 1:00 pm, your eating window is only 6 hours, so you are fasting for 18 hours. If you are a breakfast-skipper, and eat lunch at noon and finish dinner by 7:00 pm, you have a 7 hour eating window so are fasting for 17 hours. It can be pushed farther than this, there are even people who swear by a one meal a day version, with a fast of as much as 23 hours, but 8-10 hours is probably a good place to start.

We have been taught that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, so the idea of regularly skipping it may raise alarm bells. However, the science behind this can be a bit misleading, because it does not take fat adaptation into account. For example, I’ve seen studies where people who are normally accustomed to eating breakfast are asked to skip it, and later in the morning show impaired performance on cognitive tests compared to a control group that’s allowed to eat breakfast. What we need is comparison with a third group of people that are used to not eating breakfast and have become fat adapted. Many people that are used to it actually report improved mental clarity in the fasted state. But again, when in doubt, check with you Doc. Also, breakfast maybe your favorite meal and you have no desire to start your day without it. In that case you could just do the milder three meal a day version, or have dinner be the meal you skip.

Cheryl gives valuable tips on healthy eating during your “window”. The most important, for me, is not grazing continuously during your hours of eating. Think of it as two good meals and maybe one snack in between. Also this is not a license to eat junk, it is still beneficial to stick to healthier foods. She emphasizes, however, that she was able to get away more often with treats, as long as they weren’t her trigger foods.

From my experience and what I’ve read from others, there can be a be a transition period before time-restricted eating is comfortable. As I’ve mentioned, it is easier me, because I am already fat-adapted, which I achieved by exercising at a comfortable pace for longer sessions a couple of times a week before breakfast (I discussed that in detail here). If you try fasting and are not fat adapted, you might struggle through cravings until your body adjusts. So here are some tips:

Try the exercise before breakfast a couple of times a week first.

Start with the easier three meal a day version and only try a shorter eating window after you a used to that (or simply keep on with the three meal a day version).

Try minimizing ultra-processed foods or anything that’s a trigger food for you.

It’s important that outside the eating window no calories at all are consumed, even milk or cream or a little sugar in coffee. Cheryl and other authors I’ve read have also emphasized not consuming artificial sweeteners outside the eating window, as there is some evidence it can fool the brain into releasing insulin and interfere with fat adaptation.

Also I want to emphasize that this is not a quick weight loss tool. It can, combined with good eating habits (like avoiding junk), lead to steady sustainable weight loss. But don’t be discouraged if weight loss does not occur rapidly, or even at all at first, there are various other benefits besides weight loss.

Time-restricted Eating And Exercise

For the most part, exercising while fasting is supposed to add to the benefits, for example, exercise can also trigger cellular cleanup (autophagy). But there is the concern of muscle loss, especially if you do strength training. I found a good discussion of that here. It turns out not to be a problem as long as you eat a meal shortly after the exercise session. So I do have to modify my strength training days a bit. Usually I do strength training part at the beginning of an exercise session after a short warmup. Doing it in the fasted state, I’ll modify it so I postpone strength training till later in the morning, right before lunch. This appears to be only necessary for strength training. For lower intensity cardio, and even for high intensity interval training, it seems to be ok, even beneficial, to exercise earlier while fasting, and not eat right away afterwards.

I’ve started a 30 day experiment of doing the two meal a day version of time-restricted eating every day, a couple of days ago. I’ll report back in a month how it goes. Unfortunately I don’t have any blood testing planned in the future, so I won’t be able to see effects on that, but I can report on things like weight management and how energetic I feel.

Reference

Longo, V, and Mattson, M, “Fasting: Molecular Mechanisms and Clinical Applications”, Cell Metab. 2014.

Benefits of Time-restricted Eating published first on https://steroidsca.tumblr.com/

[darpok]

Blog Post: On Fan Fiction and Other Storytelling Traditions

When I was twelve or thirteen years old, and even our family finally had DSL internet, I discovered the joys of fan fiction. In case you haven’t been living under the same rock as I have, allow me to explain. “Fan fiction” refers to stories written by enthusiasts of a particular book, TV show, or other creative work. While most “fics” – as my friends and I would call them – take place within the particular universe of the original story, others take known characters and put them in an entirely new setting. (That’s how 50 Shades of Grey was born.) There’s also fan fiction that doesn’t deliberately draw on any work but revolves around real, famous people in imagined situations. (See Graham Norton and Daniel Radcliffe discuss this type on the former’s show.)

The stories that interested me ranged from shorter “one shots” to multi-chapter epics, but most were placed in the Harry Potter universe and nearly all were tales of romance – if you could call it that.

The pairings I read about (and often ‘shipped’ – a verb that comes from the ‘ship’ in ‘relationship’ and means “hoped would bang”) – whether true to canon (i.e. the original books), such as Lily and James Potter, or wildly inventive, such as Hermione and a Tom Riddle to whom she has traveled back in time – usually engaged in the kind of love/hate banter that sends real couples to therapy. The pair would glare at and insult each other (often employing strangely American turns of phrase for a pair of ostensible Brits), their apparent mutual disgust hiding a deeper attraction. For my friends and I, it was riveting stuff.

While I was mainly a Lily/James shipper myself, you can’t talk about Harry Potter fan fiction and not mention Dramione. The fan-invented romance between Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger was a tale of forbidden passion, a defiance of Hogwarts housing norms and the mandates of Potter canon itself. Draco did need to be less of a whiny loser to be a deserving match for Hermione, but this could be arranged without too much trouble. In the fan fiction world, Draco was dark and brooding, and he didn’t bring his dad up in conversation quite as often as in the books. Hermione was clever and empathetic, and although she was rarely depicted with less than Yule Ball-level beauty, her looks were not her main characteristic.

Sometimes fan fiction Draco and Hermione fell for each other while at Hogwarts. In other fics, they met again under changed circumstances years after the fall of Voldemort. Then there were the AU fics in which a brilliant young paralegal named Hermione Granger begins work at the firm where successful lawyer Draco Malfoy practices. You get the idea.

Photoshop creations starring Tom Felton and Emma Watson (no credit belongs to me). The purple one in particular has stayed in my memory for years, and brings on a familiar feeling of excitement at all the great content to peruse in the world. It was the banner for a website that allowed fans to nominate and vote for their favorite Dramione fics.

A particularly sexy iteration of the Draco/Hermione story was called Water by kissherdraco. In it, Draco and Hermione are Head Boy and Girl at Hogwarts. Of course, this means that they must live sequestered in their own dormitory, with its own entrance, common room and adjoining bathroom that ensure they see each other in a state of partial undress when the story demands it.

Water was held by many to be the pinnacle of the genre. It had lust and angst in equal measure, executed with a liberal dose of swear words and aggression. Moreover, Water took the common flaws of the Dramione world’s characters and actually explored them, allowing character to drive plot. In the story, Draco is brooding and cruel as ever, but these traits are linked to vicious abuse at the hands of Lucius. This backstory is not seen as an excuse for Draco’s behavior and he is forced to grow and change as the story progresses (although not quite enough, tbh).

I never finished the story, perhaps because my young brain was alarmed by all the hate-sex, but I revisited it with curiosity for this piece. Here is a relatively benign excerpt from the text, although please skip if you’d rather avoid themes of physical dominance:

“You’re crying,” growled Draco, leaning in and flicking his tongue onto her cheek. He tasted salt.

She struggled then, and he brought his hands to her shoulders to hold her still. “Don’t, Granger,” he warned. “I fucking need this. I can’t fucking…” He trailed off.

He never would have noticed before. Not like he did now, at least. Her lips were wet. They were red and moist and magnificently ripened for him. So full of blood. Hot, heated, sullied blood. He couldn’t take his eyes off them.

Other fics situated romance within a larger plot about the politics of the wizarding world. Prelude to Destiny by AnotherDreamer took place in the Marauder era (i.e. the time of Harry’s parents) and focused on the coming-of-age of Lily Evans and her role in the battle against evil. It begins, “Two cultures and a thousand miles from you, there is a castle on a hill…”

Another fave began life under the title Ancient and Most Noble and is now called Druella Black’s Guide to Womanhood. It is about the diverging lives of the three Black sisters — Bellatrix, Andromeda, and Narcissa — in the early years of Voldemort’s power. The sisters confront the crumbling of the their easy closeness as they make different choices in a changing world.

”It’ll be a laugh, you’ll see,” Bellatrix whispered into her ear, her breath sweet and thick from wine. They were curled in the cool grass, tangled in the layers upon layers of lace and satin that were their dress robes; it had taken them an hour to get them on right and just ten minutes to unsettle them. Andromeda’s head was spinning: from the liquor, from the heat, from far too much dancing. “It’ll all be just like this,” Bella was murmuring, her lips brushing against her ear. Stars whirled by overhead, maybe close enough to touch. Close enough to try.

“Always just like this.”

—

Andromeda swore as she stepped off the train. From inside the nicely cool travel car, summer had looked so charming, green and bright and gloriously school-free…

I was most interested in these fics, the ones that revolved around the generations before Harry’s. There was something compelling about the knowledge of forthcoming tragedy for many of the characters…Plucked away from the happy ending of the books, these fics became an exploration of why life is meaningful even in its flawed and finite scope.

I look back on my fan fiction experiences as belonging to a beautiful time when the internet was less like Janet from The Good Place* (if Janet were selling everything she knew about us to profit-hungry corporations and belligerent, militarized governments), and more like a library you went to when you felt like checking out a book. Nobody knew what I ate and where I went every minute of the day, because I didn’t put that stuff online, nor did I (to my knowledge) carry a tracking device with me when I went downstairs to play with my friends. At 5 pm, our moms would have to call each friend’s landline to reach us and remind us to stop home for our daily glass of milk or what-have-you.

*Janet is a humanoid presence in the afterlife who holds all knowledge in the universe and can create objects out of the void.

Fan fiction was a commerce-free creative space – devoid of ad revenue and the quick accumulation of likes. Since there was neither money nor social capital to be gained, everyone who participated did so out of pure interest. One did have the hope of raking in reviews from other community members, but these were about more than validation; reviews allowed people to have conversations about a shared passion and often included constructive criticism along with praise. There was little need for bitterness – if a fic was well-written, everybody won, since it meant they got to read it.

Below are some examples from the reviews section of Prelude to Destiny. It’s certainly no Twitter.

Written by rach on chapter #13. (March 28th 2009, 5am) Hey,

So I’ve read your whole story before, and now I’m reading it again, because I saw it spotlighted on the site. And this chapter is amazing. I love the end…I’ve never (well, before I read this the first time) compared Lily to Mrs Crouch. But it’s so true. They both gave their lives for their sons and…this chapter is phenomenal. Just thought I’d let you know

Rach

Written by Smith on chapter #26. (April 29th 2008, 11am)

…If I am to find any fault in the story, then I should say that Remus was rather dull. Not that it was completely out of character, but I imagine him being funnier and also good Lily’s friend. Their friendship is mentioned by Lupin in the third film and, I should think, in the book as well, though I don’t have a copy right now and thus can’t provide a quote. Pity, that. [Given my extensive knowledge of canon, I can tell you that the reviewer is mistaken on this last point.]

Thank you very much for writing this story. Reading it was an enjoyable experience that I might repeat in the future. You’re brilliant, to put it short.

Author Response: Thanks for the review!Yeah, Remus was a bit dull. Actually, I didn’t intend for Lily to be friends with any of the marauders besides James. I just wanted them out of the way. But I know what you mean. After Sirius entered the story, Remus was even duller in comparison. Plus, I wanted to make Peter seem like he fit in, and Remus just fell by the wayside, you know?I’m enjoying writing Gertrude again after taking over a story from my friend who used my characters. Anyway, thanks again!Miranda

For me, too, fandom was a more than a casual hobby. Since I was only allowed an hour of internet use a day, I would spend the time copying and pasting chapter after chapter of fan fiction onto Microsoft Word, allowing me to read all I wanted later. (As you might imagine, Water was not stored on the family computer.) I remember scouring for new fics on fanfiction.net and clicking through page after page of fan art on deviantart.com (both of which retain their early-2000s layouts, unlike Mugglenet or JK Rowling’s official site), very differently from how I scroll through Instagram today. I admired works of fandom the way one appreciates springtime’s first flower, or the décor of a friend’s bedroom – I admired the stamp of individuality they bore and that inspired me to create something myself, to express my joys and sorrows, to be a part of the world.

RIP old websites

When I did put Harry Potter-inspired art out there, somewhere around age fourteen, it was of course in the form of fan fiction, writing being my weapon of choice. I wrote two one-shot pieces, one funny and the other sad — or such were my intentions, though perhaps the results were inverted. While some friends wrote longer stories, I never felt talented or inspired enough to commit, which is a typical self-doubting move of the kind I am trying to leave behind. (I now plan to write no matter how untalented and uninspired I may be.)

One piece was about a character of my own invention, a Slytherin guy with the requisite pure-blood, Dark magic-loving family, and a perky, ponytailed Huffelpuff girl on whom he develops an obsessive crush. It was intended to be a BBC-inspired mockery of the character, taking all the gloomy sexiness of the Dramione universe and making it ridiculous. It was also a thorough exploration of really wanting to make out with somebody sitting in the same classroom as you, not that I’d know anything about that myself.

The other short story was a sincere ode to the books and an exploration of some of their core questions on death and loss. It followed Harry in an imagined scene that takes place (SPOILER ALERT lol) after Dumbledore’s death in the Half-Blood Prince. Harry is climbing the steps to the Owlery with a package in his hand, thinking over his relationship with Dumbledore. As I wrote, I found that I absolutely had to include excerpts from a fairly unexpected source, a chapter in the first and most overlooked of the Harry Potter books. The chapter is “The Mirror of Erised,” whose titular object reveals to the onlooker their deepest desire.

“Professor Dumbledore. Can I ask you something?”

“Obviously, you’ve just done so,” Dumbledore smiled. “You may ask me one more thing, however.”

“What do you see when you look in the mirror?”

“I? I see myself holding a pair of thick, woolen socks.” Harry stared. “One can never have enough socks,” said Dumbledore. “Another Christmas has come and gone and I didn’t get a single pair. People will insist on giving me books.”

It was only when he was back in bed that it struck Harry that Dumbledore might not have been quite truthful.

In my story, Harry gazes out at the Forbidden Forest for a little while, wondering who Dumbledore had been behind the mask of calm wisdom and pondering the burden of those left alive and grieving. Harry then ties the package he’s been holding to Hedwig’s arm and sends her off, chuckling a little through tears. In the last line it is revealed that – OMG – he has just sent off a pair of thick, woolen SOCKS. To DUMBLEDORE. Even though Dumbledore is DEAD. Isn’t that profound?

Two years later, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows was released, and to my complete surprise, it delved deep into some of the questions about Dumbledore that had tumbled out of me, stream-of-consciousness-like, in the story I wrote. The text even includes part of the above excerpt from “The Mirror of Erised”. At the outset of Deathly Hallows, Harry learns that Dumbledore’s childhood was a difficult one, the true details of which remain murky and contested by his admirers and critics. Harry regrets never having asked Dumbledore about his past, but recalls that, after all, the one personal question he had asked Dumbledore was not answered honestly…

While writing my story, I had imagined Harry’s pain and longing to know Dumbledore better. Because fan fiction allowed me to externalize my interpretation of the text, the questions in my mind took on concrete form. Their answers, when the next book presented them, became all the more striking and emotionally impactful. It was as though I had written a letter to the series of books that had shaped me and received, in a way, a gentle but meaningful response.

In 2004, JK Rowling released a statement about the phenomenon of fan fiction. She was flattered by fans’ desire to write about her characters, and her only caveats were that fan fiction should remain suitable for children (unfortunately that ship had already sailed, and Water was truly the least of it), as well as a non-commercial activity so that fans’ creative pursuits would remain unexploited. Other authors have not been as accepting, and have asked for fan fiction based on their work to be removed from popular websites. After all, in our current world, a story is classified as property. A sentence, a verse, a character’s name, can belong to someone the same way as the furniture in their house and the dollar figure in their bank account.

In the long history of storytelling, however, ownership is a relatively recent idea. Bear with me while I make an analogy – in pre-industrial Britain, every town had a commons, an area of land where anyone could gather firewood, take their cattle to graze, or hunt and fish to supplement a year of poor harvest. Storytelling has historically functioned as a kind of commons of ideas, one that anyone could pull from when the time came to tell a tale. Want to warn your kid against going near a well? Tell them about the hungry demon that lives in it. Were you hired to entertain a crowd at a wedding? Maybe you dust off an old poem about a prince and princess who meet one evening in the forest but spend years apart, not knowing each others’ true identity until it turns out they were betrothed all along.

Nobody invented well-dwelling monsters or estranged lovers for the first time – they simply existed in a shared cultural space, available when needed (or when it was particularly enjoyable to use them), ready to be shaped into something new and old at the same time. Even today, no one questions the use of familiar tropes in books and movies; we know that all storytelling involves a certain amount of borrowing and repetition, and we deem this acceptable as long as the storyteller has put an adequately original spin on the themes they utilize. The legal line is drawn once you get to the particulars – character names, or sentences and dialogue. These must be brand spanking new if you want to avoid a lawsuit and getting dropped by your publishers. (Does anyone else remember How Opal Mehta Got Kissed, Got Wild, and Got a Life?)

But for thousands of years, people told and re-told stories of beloved and familiar characters, not just unnamed archetypes – characters like Odysseus and Arjuna, Gilgamesh and King Arthur. The Sanskrit Mahabharata (Maha-BHA-rata) an epicly long, genre-defying story from South Asia, especially challenges the idea of a single, canonical text (much like other ancient story traditions from the subcontinent). It was told so many times by so many people that modern-day folks are not always able to agree on what the Mahabharata even is. The story is like a vast ocean — recognizable to all, but appears different depending on where you happen to be standing.

In the 20th century, some scholars collected Mahabharata manuscripts from all over the subcontinent, extracted the most commonly occurring parts to form a text, and detailed the many variations of each verse in footnotes that turned out longer than the text itself. No one can quite agree whether to treat this resulting (multi-volume) “Critical Edition” as the essential Sanskrit Mahabharata tradition, or as some kind of strange, post-colonial Mahabharata scrapbook. All this so that whenever somebody wrote an essay about the story, there was a single text, pieced together as it was, to use as a point of reference. (My Bachelor’s thesis was one of the lesser works of this scholarly genre.)

The plot of the Mahabharata goes like this: The five Pandava brothers, namely the prone-to-gambling leader Yudhishthira, morally-conflicted archer Arjuna, lovable beefcake Bhima, and something-to-do-with-horses twins Nakula and Sachdeva, along with their badass wife Draupadi, are exiled from their kingdom and forced into a year of disguise after a rigged dice game that Yudhishthira loses, and in which Draupadi is stripped and humiliated before a hall full of men. Eventually the Pandavas regain what they lost through a bloody war that leaves both sides devastated and questioning the point of all this conflict. The End.

Does my summary reflect my biases a little bit? For somebody else, the Pandavas might be perfect heroes, Draupadi a whiny ungrateful shrew who won’t stop yelling at them. To me, she is the moral backbone of the Pandavas, unafraid to call for what she feels is right even as everyone around her takes the coward’s way out of trouble.

Interpretations of Draupadi from various traditions

But it’s not just me who has a take on the story: the Mahabharata itself reflects a range of interacting and conflicting views, which might indicate that people from various backgrounds heard it and were able, in some way, to influence it. For example, although the text generally upholds hierarchies of caste and gender, it also pulls at the listener’s heartstrings with stories of characters who must confront these oppressive norms.

There’s Amba, who is stolen from her future-husband at her wedding and rejected by him when she manages to return; she later chooses to be re-born as a man in order to kill her kidnapper in battle. There’s Ekalavya, the talented archer from a forest tribe who trains with the Pandavas in youth and asks to prove his devotion to his archery guru any way he can; the guru, who favors the upper-caste prince Arjuna, asks Ekalavya to cut off his right thumb. There’s Kunti, who finds herself pregnant after an illicit affair with a god and places her baby, Karna, in a river; Karna is adopted by a lower-caste charioteer couple and goes on to fight against Kunti’s legitimate sons in the great battle that destroys the universe. And there’s Satyavati, whose husband/baby daddy pretends not to recognize her in front of his kingly court but gets completely schooled on how not to be an asshole.

“You know very well [who I am], your majesty; why do you say that you don’t, lying like a common man? Your heart knows the truth, and knows your lie. A man who does something wrong thinks, ‘No one knows me,’ but the gods know. If you do not do what I ask, your head will burst into a hundred pieces.” She discoursed at length on the reasons why a man should honor his wife, quoting the dharma texts.

(from The Ring of Truth: And Other Myths of Sex and Jewelry by Wendy Doniger)

Perhaps, among the traveling bards and indulgent grandmas who told the Mahabharata over centuries, there were some who identified or empathized with the pain of oppression and through whom otherwise-marginalized voices could ring out into the millennia.

The many Mahabharatas, along with the many conversations inside the Mahabharata, illustrate how the human imagination is prolific and messy, not content with merely absorbing information but impelled to remake, to take inspiration, to create, create, create. Isn’t that what happens when we read? We see the world we are reading about in our own way. We make up something in our own head as we go along, and that’s where the entertainment lies. The book itself is but a wonderful tool.

Perhaps if I had a right-wing patron who paid me to tell stories, I would tell the Mahabharata a little differently from how I do here, focusing on how the Pandavas were self-made men or how the ethnic minorities they killed were thieving encroachers. Or if I were telling the story to children, I might leave out anything particularly frightening. In the telling of a story, the will and whims of the teller have influence, as do those of the listener (or reader) and the financial benefactor (or publishing house).

What remains inevitable, however, is that rarely is a story told the same way twice. Even in our post-printing press, post-internet world, where stories are replicated identically again and again, we continue to dissect, analyze, and change them, whether it be through everyday conversations, online forums, or the prestige lens of a critic’s review. (A perfect example is the adaptation of works from one medium into another, be it from literature to film or from film to theater.) Sometimes the authors themselves continue to tweak and interpret their work – Virginia Wolf was known to make changes to her books prior to reprinting, and we all know that JK Rowling can’t leave the Potter universe well enough alone (love you Jo!).

For me, fan fiction is a grand storytelling and textual tradition not entirely unlike the Mahabharata. Fan fiction not only illustrates the malleable, generative nature of stories, it also provides a rare space, in our capitalist global economy, for storytelling to be that malleable, generative thing it has always been. It allows for democratic engagement in the storytelling traditions of our time, free from the boxes of profit and ownership. It lets us expand the possibilities of our collective imagination. Importantly, it allows voices from the margins into the story, where our canonical texts routinely fail us.

I’m also thankful to fan fiction for being a rare space, outside overpriced college English classes, where literary discussion can thrive. When I say discussion, I don’t mean mere binary criticism – like book reviews, or the Goodreads star rating-aggregates that help determine book sales. I mean questions about how a text makes you feel, what it reflects or critiques about our world, the things that literary characters, beloved and abhorred, may teach us about our shared humanity and flawed choices. And yes, some of these conversations involve Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy as co-Heads of Hogwarts, using the same bathroom.

Are you a reader or writer of fan fiction? Have you you dabbled in fan art? Or do you engage in a non-online form of fandom, like a book club? Please share!

Thanks for reading.

[rhetorical-ink]

Rhetorical Ink: Game of Thrones “The Dragon and the Wolf” Review

**SPOILERS OF FIRE AND ICE BELOW**

Can you believe it’s already here? I swear, the shorter schedule is just rough. Again, as I did with the last episode, I watched before writing; taking notes and deciding on...

My Top 10 Thoughts on Game of Thrones Season 7, Episode 7:

10. Can we all agree that Brienne and The Hound’s concern for Arya was absolutely PRECIOUS?! Of all the reunions on that “march” to the dragon pits, Brienne and The Hound’s were my favorite. His sheer reactions to hearing about Arya were just adorable; our little Hound has a heart! And what strides we’ve made in two seasons with them. Here’s to them hopefully fighting alongside each other in the future...maybe with Arya there too!

9. As epic as it was for Dany to make her entrance on Drogon, it true Targaryan fashion, points in the pits to Brienne for finally calling out to Jaime about “Loyalty” and how it matters now that Winter has come. Jon Snow may have “done goofed” spilling the beans about him being loyal to Dany, but Brienne made up for it for setting it straight to Jaime that loyalties aren’t as important as survival. After the end of this episode, how many of us think Jaime is going to take Brienne’s advice and ride up to meet up with her for the final battle?

8. Can we just give Peter Dinklage and Lena Heady all of the Emmys now? That scene between Tyrion and Cersei was just layered with complex emotions, unspoken glances, and a beautiful series of lines back and forth to cut to what they both truly care about: Family. In their own twisted, warped ways, they care only about their families. It was a scene I had been waiting for all season and one that was a highlight of it.

7. The first of many “FINALLY” moments in this episode: RIP Peter Baelish.

I will admit that I loved Peter’s character up until he left with Sansa for Winterfell. His entire plot ot twist the siblings against each other had me questioning why the girls didn’t talk to Bran...why they were after each other...turns out, they did go to Bran. And he shared everything with them.

I will admit, it was cringe-worthy seeing Peter start to cry, begging for his life. But after all the hell he’s put those girls through, it was morbidly satisfying to see him go. His clever plans have no room in a game of survival in the War for the Dawn.

6. FINALLY, Jaime takes Brienne’s words to heart or doesn’t and is furious that Cersei has no intentions of helping in the war to come. He makes a very strong case that they have to help to ensure their family’s future, but Cersei has clearly let her pride and ego override any other reasoning...FINALLY Jaime takes leave of King’s Landing, riding north. I just loved the little touch of snow starting to take hold on King’s Landing.

I had read a spoiler where it showed Cersei would have a miscarriage...we DO NOT see that here...so as far as we know, she is still pregnant going into Season 8...we’ll see where that goes.

5. There are a lot of duos I would like to see take Game of Thrones into a spinoff series: Mark down Sam and Bran as one of them! Seriously, I love that Bran trusts Sam’s intellect and honesty and ability to keep a secret. Well, at least, let’s see how this HUGE BOMBSHELL stays a secret come Season 8!

4. FINALLY, we see Rhaegar, who looks quite a lot like a more mature Viserys, and Lyanna’s wedding...it was a lovely little flashback, but no time for that, because--

3. FINE. ALL. YYYYYY.....We all knew it was coming, didn’t we?

Dany and Jon hook up as we learn Jon’s REAL name: Aegon Targaryan...

...clearly, Ned was like, “Nope. Jon sounds better.” I love Bran clarifying that Jon should have been a Sand, since he was born in Dorne, and Sam was all, “Nope, he’s the true heir to the throne!”

The boat scene was brief, but if it’s a taste of Wolf and Dragon love to come? I’m in. Also, Jon Snow was friggin’ ADORABLE when he was hesitating at the door, and then Dany was all, “Come on in, sirrrrrr” with her eyes.

Honorable mention to Tyrion, who had that “Myfriendsarehookinguparen’tthey?” face...maybe he sees how this could be an emotional compromise down the road already?

2. And...uhm, FINALLY, after seven full seasons....

”The Wall Comes Crumbling Down!”

By a friggin’ blue flame undead torch, no less! Seriously, the flame on the dragon was terrifying...there’s also apparent holes in the dragon’s wings already, meaning the dragon is decaying...so does that mean Viserion can only be rode for a limited time, until he’ll be limited to “ground use” only? Not that he won’t be a force to be reckoned with them, either!

After all this time, it was bittersweet and sad to see the Wall finally come down...and SO scary to see this never-ending army of the dead, swarming south...and did anyone notice Thoros in the undead army? I thought I did, but can’t be sure.

1. My father looked at me at the end of the episode, as my jaw was agape, and said, “So, now we wait a year?” Yeah, dad. Yeah. A YEAR.

But a nicely satisfying season finale to me, that leaves a LOT open for Season 8...now we just have to wait a year for it. *collapses*

[impracticaldemon]

It's totally fine if you don't feel like answering this. But, do you have any writing tips? I absolutely LOVE your writing, and I would like to make mine better!

Hi Anon-writer-san!

I don’t mind answering, and I hope I can help.  Also - wow! Thank you for the compliment. 😅😊

I don’t have any magic for you, so I have to start by saying that reading a lot of anything with good writing (seriously, any genre), plus practice, are the two big things.

“Yes, thanks, but I already know that,” you say.  Okay... 🤔

Here are some of the tips I’ve given people that *they* found were useful:

try not to repeat the same word (especially an unusual one) within the same sentence or paragraph, except for specific effect

make your work easy to read --> it’s okay to use a person’s name more than once, if it’s needed to make a sentence or scene clear; and it’s okay to refer to “the other man”, “the woman in blue” or “the red-head” if that will help your reader - just remember to keep your reference point (like red hair) sensible and simple, and don’t overdo it

easy to read doesn’t mean “for young children” - it means that your reader shouldn’t have to struggle with things such as who is speaking, or where/when something is taking place (keep your reader immersed)

shorter sentences are usually better (I struggle with this): my advice is to write your first draft and then break some of your sentences apart when you review your work

how to make a scene “visual”: whenever possible, describe things from a character’s perspective and experience [for example: “he looked down at the concrete floor and wondered why somebody had painted it green”].  This helps your reader to feel situated within the story. 

choose the level of your vocabulary with care: (1) always use vocabulary that matches the mood/atmosphere you want to convey, or the personality of the speaker, and (2) keep it reasonably plain unless the scene or character is particularly ostentatious.

before you use unusual or fancy words make sure that (a) you know exactly what they mean, (b) they fit the style of the story (casual versus formal is very important here), and (c ) they fit the speaker/character (if applicable)  --> same as the point above?  If so, it’s because it’s so important.

avoid/question certain popular words unless they really add to the scene:  why use “orbs” instead of “eyes”? why use “a smile graced her lips” instead of “she smiled”? (the latter may be quite appropriate for some characters, in some circumstances, but don’t overuse it)

character voice: is the character well-educated? formal? informal? prone to slang? prone to swearing? serious? quiet? loud? These things can often be conveyed with speech patterns and vocabulary - just be consistent.

Basics:

always put different speakers on different lines, and different concepts in different paragraphs [sounds obvious, but gets forgotten a lot]

do your best to remember that the tense of the story should be internally consistent [”She noticed that it had rained the night before.” = story written in the standard past tense, but it rained earlier than the current point in time]. The tense of any speech should be internally consistent as well and may be different from the narration (story) [characters usually speak in the present tense unless they are describing a past event or planning for the future]

That’s it for now!  I hope there is a nugget in there for you somewhere.Feel free to ask about anything above - I’m a long way from perfect, but I don’t mind sharing my thoughts.

~ImpracticalOni

[professor-abeloved]

RULES: FINISH THESE 92 STATEMENTS AND TAG 20 PEOPLE.

Got meme’d on tagged by my homie @principal-mc !! thanks bud i love youuuu <3

THE LAST:

1. Drink: c2 lemon 2. Phone call: my mom 3. Text message: my best friend @rpgskill <3 4. Song you listened to:  Mahiwagang Puso from the Encantadia 2005 OST 5. Time you cried: uh, yesterday

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: nah  7. Kissed someone and regretted it: nope 8. Been cheated on: hindi 9. Lost someone special: er no 10. Been depressed:  always yeah 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: drunk yes, thrown up no

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12. purple!! it’s always been my favorite hehe 13. mint green 14. blue

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: yup both on here and irl! i love you guys!! 16. Fallen out of love: no... i’ve fallen out of my qp feelings tho if that counts? 17. Laughed until you cried: yES oh my god i always tear up if i laugh too hard 18. Found out someone was talking about you: yeah. 19. Met someone who changed you: “everyone you meet changes you for better or for worse… change is continuous and inevitable so this is a given” <- couldn’t have said it better myself @principal-mc 20. Found out who your friends are: yup, i did when they were there for me/tried to be there for me.  21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: dein

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: about 90%? my account is personal kasi. although i do have some friends that i added for ~fb games~ when i was 10... and some people that added me because we have 100+ mutual friends. okay actually, sometimes i randomly add cute people that fb suggests for me to see if they’ll respond and they do!! i find it funny HAHA and then months later i find out they go to a different university or even a different country... 23. Do you have any pets: ish? my family has pet dogs in the province, though we used to have a lot of fish and rabbbits 24. Do you want to change your name: yep! someday i’ll find a way to make the name-changing process easier in the Philippines, I promise. 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: uh had an anxiety attack because there was block drama and i didn’t know what to do when inviting my blockmates out lol 26. What time did you wake up: 12:13 PM 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: posting the amazing art i had commissioned from Millerizo aka Mod Ton from Buhay Kolehiyo!! i’m in love with her art, i swear. 28. Name something you can’t wait for: to fix my damn bank account lol 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: an hour ago? 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: me HAHAHA uh fuck, my hang-ups and flaws i guess 31. What are you listening right now: the television 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: 707′s neighbor Tom? actually wait i think I have a niehgbor named Tom omg 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: “Pixelberry’s writing team” ...actually same, Zee. honestly i’m so disappointed. 34. Most visited Website: Tumblr 35. Mole/s: On my right thigh and left shoulder lmao 36. Mark/s: uh i got a lot of stretchmarks on my thighs and stomach 37. Childhood dream: becoming a superhero. tbh it’s a work in progress, there’s gotta be a radioactive spider here somewhere... 38. Hair color: brown with blond hightlights 39. Long or short hair: short!! 40. Do you have a crush on someone: sighs yes and he doesn’t go to my uni anymore :^( 41. What do you like about yourself: my writing!! 42. Piercings: my ears are pierced 43. Blood type: A positive walang aayaw 44. Nickname: El/L/Elle  you spell it however you want haha 45. Relationship status: single but married to about a billion fictional characters 46. Zodiac: Virgo~ 47. Pronouns: they/them, he/him, she/her it i’m cool with them all since i’m bigender lol 48. Favorite TV Show/s: Steven Universe, Brookline 99, HIMYM, Encantadia (2005 and 2016 huhu i miss it so much) 49. Tattoos: waley 50. Right or left hand: right 51. Surgery: i’m actually gonna have an operation for my wisdom teeth on Thursday haha pls pray for me 52. Hair dyed in different color: er highlights count right? though i do plan to dye it purple 53. Sport: i don’t... do sports though i hope to do arnis or something with swords in the future! 55. Vacation: YES PLEASE. technically im having it right now though we have a project to submit tomorrow 56. Pair of trainers: oh they’re like rubber shoes? i think well yeah i have like 3 pairs

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: siomai and cheese sticks! 58. Drinking: c2 pa rin mga ulol 59. I’m about to: start on that letter to pb bc really wtf. 61. Waiting for: him lol charot. actually i am waiting for maxwell to be an LI so?? 62. Want: peace and happiness for the world 63. Get married: um it’s not in my plan but if a future partner wants to and/or if there are tax benefits then sure? 64. Career: student po 65. Hugs or kisses: hugs!! 66. Lips or eyes: eyes eyes baby 67. Shorter or taller: can they be the same height? i’m 5 feet tall so most people are taller than me anyway 68. Older or younger: er older? 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: i only have one weakness, the kryptonite to my superman, the one thing that turns me into a puddle on the floor... biceps 71. Sensitive or loud: tbh both. like i’d say loud but i also need someone sensitive because i’m shit at expressing myself 72. Hook up or relationship: i’m grayro ace buddy so neither. 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker lmao. pranksters are cute (as long as the prank doesn’t harm anymore/make them uncomfortable) and yes troublemakers for the oppressive system make my heart go boom <3

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: ew 75. Drank hard liquor: not yet 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: dude i lost my right contact lens during a math review and i kind of stopped wearing them 77. Turned someone down: ...yes. more times than i’d like. 78. Sex in the first date: L O L 79. Broken someone’s heart: i hope to god not 80. Had your heart broken: i wouldn’t know, i don’t have one 81. Been arrested: nah 82. Cried when someone died: yes. 83. Fallen for a friend: uh do QP feelings count as falling? because if so yes.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: someday, i hope to 85. Miracles: yup! 86. Love at first sight: no. i believe in attraction at first sight, but not love 87. Santa Claus: yeah, it killed me when i found out my mom was writing those letters to santa. it was funny though because one time i asked who santa was, and they gave me a 9 page research of the origin of santa HAHAHAH 88. Kiss on the first date: uh if i like them enough and if they initiate, maybe 89. Angels: yes zee is an angel <3 all of you reading this are angels too <3

OTHER:

90. Current best friend’s name: kristi 91. Eyecolor: hazel brown/light brown with dark flecks 92. Favorite movie: Ghostbusters 2016!! watched it thrice hehe. oh and i recently watched kubo and the two strings and fell in love <3

Tagging: @quinnskelly @mirasols @mewly/@molliartsie @lanapowellblog @ladyashtonofcordonia @grimdarkpixels @keephollywoodweird/@gunfawkes @hollyashton @jebsplayshss/@spacetravels @sarcasticchoices @andythenerdyfriend @ohmymaxwell​ @kittenmusicals​ @rr-roe-es​ @maxwellbeauxmont​ @mermadeheart​/@pixelberry-pippa​ @danielnelsen @evapaw-of-thunderclan @lifeof314universe @craighsiao and anyone else who wants to do this!!