#funny txts

[daughterofchaosstuff]

done healing my inner child. next up is my inner teen. her highness demands a sword.

[ezlo-x]

palico lore will always be funny to me. They get paid to hunt just like a human hunter. But since they're small anthropomorphic cats you always treat them like pets or babies. like your palico is grown ass man....cat

[folkdances]

In all seriousness, here are a few resources I think are helpful with regards to understanding just how thoroughly Henry Kissinger screwed the world over:

Kissinger by Behind the Bastards. This is a 6 part series done by the podcast Behind the Bastards, with the hosts of The Dollop on as guests. It's super funny and a very accessible foothold into understanding the scope of Kissinger's vast career.

Kissinger's Shadow by Greg Grandin. This book provides an in-depth analysis of Kissinger's tenure in the White House, covering both how he got into office, the changes he made in office, the policies he put forth, and their repercussions on the world.

ETAN's category on Kissinger. The East Timor and Indonesia Action Network has long been an outspoken critic of Kissinger's, and they've aggregated a lot of helpful articles here.

The Trial of Henry Kissinger by Christopher Hitchins. While Grandin's book focuses less on the specificities of Kissinger's crimes, Hitchins has no such qualms and details each of them in depth.

I truly think understanding Kissinger, the way he thought, and the things that he did, are all indispensable when it comes to understanding the modern political climate and how foreign policy works in America and therefore, by necessity, in the world at large. The sheer amount of damage he was responsible for should never be underestimated.

[catmask]

the 'all marriage is gay as far as im concerned' except its me watching a man and woman character in a show i like and accidentally saying 'theyre so gay' because i literally forget thats not the word for romance because to me all romance is gay

[homosexualslug]

obsessed with the Willy Wonka Experience, both a lesson in the dangers of AI and an incredible contender for the new dashcon/fyre festival (x)

I feel bad because it was probably families with kids who got scammed but to be fair this is what their website looks like... there were signs (x)

[xanfeursel]

shadowheart: so what should we expect in vampire dens

astarion: vampires lol

shadowheart: awesome. you should be executed

[electricpurrs]

i thought the "AND THE CROWD GOES HOME" style jokes were very funny but unfortunately my autistic ass has now become obsessed with just spamming these emojis on everything i say for dramatic effect to an obnoxious level LOOK AT THESE GUYS ☝️‼️💯💪☝️💥‼️🔥💯💪‼️💯☝️☝️☝️☝️

[schrodingers-lesbian]

me, lactose intolerant, prepping overnight oats for the next couple days: [pours oatmilk over my oats]

my brain immediately:

[disgustinggf]

would u guys still follow me if i was a worm

[idolomantises]

If Monsters and Girls ever gets a tv show my only request is that it doesn’t become that kind of show where a male character with a small role somehow overshadows the female cast.

And you WILL draw Yuri

[idiosyncraticrednebula]

Hot take: I actually think men and women are meant to work together and complement each other and not like,,, dislike each other and be divisive.

[daughterofchaosstuff]

match my freak?? How about you match my emotional intelligence, my understanding and considerate nature ?? That'd be cool.

[mofsblog]

Name a more iconic duo

[guardcanine]

babe they can’t stop you from babying and sexualizing that old man

[saltyfinalboss]

My dealer: got some straight gas 🔥😛this strain is called “risk of rain 2 seekers of the storm”😳 you’ll be zonked out of your gourd💯

Me: yeah whatever. I don’t feel shit.

5 minutes later: dude I swear I just saw some physics being tied to framerate in the forest

My buddy xbox player: my savedata is gone because i plugged in my controller

[elliotpostmemes]