#funky little grumpy man

[the-blazing-light]

Chip Ironwelder commission for @brightwingedbat! Thank you so much for commissioning me again, he was a blast to draw! <3

[elkkiel]

I have made sleep token progress with father! He admits that he likes the music a lot and appreciates why I personally connect with the lore, he's just still hesitant about it because of the cult metaphor/aesthetics.

[astonmartinii]

reluctant cupid | lando norris social media au

pairing: lando norris x fem bff!reader

you could set your bestie up with a driver or you could confess your feelings? lando norris is dumb.

based on this request: Could you write something about being best friends with lando and he tries to help set you up with another driver you have a crush on, but then he realises he actually likes you so he has to sabotage all the wingmanning he’s done and you end up together Idk if that makes sense 😭🫶🏼🫶🏼 -@mbappesleftthigh

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

yourusername

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri and 49,340 others

yourusername: someone please save me from the grips of hinge and this oh so lonesome life

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user1: girl knows the whole f1 paddock and looks like that and is still alone there is NO HOPE for me

user2: this post might have thrown me over the edge

landonorris: "i'm so lonely" "why don't you approach that guy" "no too scary"

user3: that's so real though

yourusername: thank you!

landonorris: how do you expect to find a boyfriend when you don't like to talk to anyone and treat hinge like a gameshow

yourusername: i didn't come here for actual advice let me commiserate in peace. god, can women have anything these days?

landonorris: ???

yourusername: oh! idea! pretty please set me up with one of your friends? they have to be great otherwise you wouldn't be friends with them, right? RIGHT?

landonorris: i guess...

yourusername: please lando, i've never asked for anything before

landonorris: i can feel you pouting through the phone

yourusername: so you'll consider ?

landonorris: fine...

user4: bro either gotta admit his feelings now or be condemned to be in the plot of a weird romantic comedy

user5: i personally don't think i can wait until the third act break up with this side character LANDO ACT NOW

oscarpiastri: you'd really trust lando's judgement?

yourusername: he's friends with me, he's got good taste?

oscarpiastri: touche

maxverstappen1: whatever you really wanna say oscar, you gotta keep it in, these idiots will figure it out eventually

yourusername: ???

landonorris: ???

user6: the grid are so done with their asses i can't 😭

user7: but what if the universe doesn't intervene and lando really has just lost the girl forever?

user8: bestie we can't be thinking like this

landonorris

liked by carlossainz55, yourusername and 812,047 others

tagged: yourusername

landonorris: being back home means being bothered by her (and whatever is her newest hyperfixation - it's sylvanian families this month if you couldn't tell)

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user9: i am so sorry but they are so in love

user10: it's cute in the movies, but these blind bitches are starting to piss me off

yourusername: THEY CAN HEAR YOU, BE A BETTER DAD

landonorris: they're not my children

yourusername: you take that back right now, you LOVE them

landonorris: you spent my money on them yes

yourusername: that's fatherhood, buddy. buckle up

user11: whoever he sets her up (if he's still dumb enough to do that) is gonna be the biggest third wheel in history

user12: who would willingly sign up for that

user13: me. i would. i have two working eyes and have seen y/n

maxverstappen1: who are these funky little critters and how can i procure some for p?

yourusername: finally a man with sense, literally any grocery store or toy store

maxverstappen1: perf

yourusername: if lando stops being mr. grumpy i'll ask him if i can come to a race and p and i can play animal families

landonorris: i am NOT mr. grumpy

maxverstappen1: you kinda are dude. is it the set-up is it stressing you out?

landonorris: nO

yourusername: then why are you putting it off !!! lando i might die from terminal yearning !!!

landonorris: i have an interested candidate

yourusername: really? do you think they'll actually like me? like this isn't a pity date right?

landonorris: nope!

user14: lando is typing through tears as we speak

user15: if y/n does go on a date with someone from the paddock i actually hope it goes well, as one lonely girl to another, it's tough out here we need one win

f1wagupdates

liked by user18, user19 and 11,043 others

tagged: yourusername & carlossainz55

f1wagupdates: turns out lando is a bit of a cupid as his childhood friend y/n y/ln was spotted out and about with carlos sainz.

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user20: HE ACTUALLY DID IT

user21: that moment when you're so down bad for a girl that you set her up with your best friend

user22: that moment when you're such a wimp you can't admit your feelings and set up the girl you like with a literal GREEK GOD

user23: i am so bamboozled by this move he literally looked like a kicked puppy on his stream bro this is your doing 😭

user24: she's a lover girl she's going to get her heart broken :(

user25: this has mess written all over it

user26: she's literally described herself as a terminal yearner i feel like she'll throw herself in and will get hurt

user27: UNLESS! this is all part of the plan? what if lando set her up with a messy guy like carlos so he can be the shoulder to cry on and that's how he slides in?

user28: that's very convoluted, very rom-com but i'll take it if it means we get lando and y/n together in the end

user29: i know this probably won't last long but can we all appreciate how hot this couple is?

user30: lando and y/n runs rings round y/n and carlos

user31: lol lando is a bad friend for setting her up with CARLOS him and charles are THEE red flags

user32: i hope y/n is prepared

user33: also lando hasn't thought it fully out if his plan is to be the shoulder to cry on because he's just opening her up to be called a homie hopper or a paddock bunny

carlossainz55

liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly and 702,554 others

carlossainz55: productive weekend with my girl

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user34: well that's not y/n

user35: that finished faster than i expected

user36: lando DO NOT quit your day job

landonorris: call me bro

carlossainz55: si, cabron

user37: i don't think they'll be cabrons after this call

user38: maybe this is all just going to plan?

user39: yall gotta give up this conspiracy theory maybe these people are just as dumb and mean as they seem to be

user40: soooooo... what did we all do this weeekend?

user41: i broke a girl's heart @carlossainz55 twins 👯‍♂️

user42: AHHHH???

maxverstappen1: oh that's not-

yourusername: you're so chronically online :(

maxverstappen1: you're alive?

yourusername: yes. coming at you live from the bed i'm currently rotting in

maxverstappen1: not going to say i didn't warn you?

carlossainz55: really? in my own comment section?

yourusername: one second, we're having a conversation here

maxverstappen1: yeah carlos, gosh.

carlossainz55: i'm so confused

user43: okay power move to just start a conversation in his comments?

user44: the power of confusion is simply unmatched

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 56,309 others

yourusername: certified boy hater

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user45: a ferrari boy will do that to you

landonorris: feeling hashtag victimised rn

yourusername: obviously doesn't include you girlypop. but you seriously need to reevaluate your judgement

landonorris: carlos is attractive?

yourusername: he ghosted me?

carlossainz55: i am right here

yourusername: blocked.

landonorris: did you actually just block him?

yourusername: yes 😀 !

landonorris: god this is a nightmare

yourusername: not if you'd take a GOD DAMN HINT

landonorris: WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

user46: yall this is a public instagram comment section

user47: don't say that, this is their argument in the rain moment

user48: lemme grab the popcorn 🍿

maxverstappen1: this better not include the real number one girlypop here

yourusername: of course not pookie

oscarpiastri: you gonna continue the lil spat above this?

yourusername: no?

oscarpiastri: well some people (max and i) would like to listen so please continue

yourusername: no, i don't think i will

oscarpiastri: GOD YOU PEOPLE ARE INSUFFERABLE

maxverstappen1: what oscar said

user49: oscar and max are so real

user50: they can't leave us on this cliff hanger

landonorris

liked by yourusername, danielricciardo and 1,043,788 others

landonorris: some snaps from '23

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user51: have we just been thirst trapped?

user52: i don't think it was intended for us

user53: this has "i am hotter than carlos sainz" written all over it

yourusername: posting tits on main, brave.

landonorris: i came second in singapore.

yourusername: sureeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. modesty, ever heard of it lan?

landonorris: slutshaming isn't cute y/n

yourusername: you kinda have to pull to be a slut lan. you are under qualified for the position

landonorris: if you keep being mean to me i will call your mum or my mum.

yourusername: try it. i see cisca more than you, i have faith in her

landonorris: the line is busy. are you on the phone to MY mum right now?

yourusername: maybe.

user54: we're so close to them getting their heads out of their asses

user55: don't get my hopes up

danielricciardo: i hope this works lol

landonorris: you don't think i'm sexy?

danielricciardo: it doesn't matter what i think

landonorris: i'm not sexy :(

danielricciardo: you're baiting me but yes, you are sexy.

user56: i'll fight anyone who made this man believe he's not beautiful

liked by yourusername

user57: I SAW THAT 📸

user58: someone just lock them in a cupboard at this point

oscarpiastri: noted.

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 89,034 others

tagged: landonorris

yourusername: yeah, yeah. you can stop yelling at us now.

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user61: LET'S FUCKING GO

user62: it was worth all that yelling. i expect an invite to the wedding now.

user63: wedding? girly they only just realised their feelings after a DECADE

maxverstappen1: it was about fucking time

yourusername: okay miss ma'am. some people are EMOTIONALLY VULNERABLE AND NOT VERY GOOD AT PROCESSING THEM

maxverstappen1: you must've been emotionally constipated because this was painful

yourusername: it was painful for me too

maxverstappen1: so painful that you dated CARLOS

yourusername: one date! ONE!

maxverstappen1: carlos said can you unblock him so he can be mean to me?

yourusername: fine.

carlossainz55: STOP MAKING ME LOOK LIKE A BAD PERSON. YES I AM NOT THE BEST AT RELATIONSHIPS BUT LEAVE ME BE

maxverstappen1: lol

yourusername: lol

user64: unblocking carlos to hit him with the lol max and y/n might be more iconic than lando and y/n

landonorris: not on our relationship announcement post 🤨

user65: OOP.

landonorris: i love you doofus

yourusername: i love you too muppet

landonorris: how much was the betting pool for your family?

yourusername: it got to over £300

landonorris: ours was £750

yourusername: are we dumb?

landonorris: no!

oscarpiastri: two dumbass girls saying 'yass' to each other

yourusername: LEAVE US BE

landonorris: oscar :(

user66: not their own families betting on when they'd get together 😭

landonorris

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 1,430,778 others

tagged: yourusername

landonorris: first win, hopefully not my only one.

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user67: MY BABIES

user68: i feel like i've been on this journey with them

oscarpiastri: thank god you guys got your shit together, i was THIS close to jumping out the nearest window if i had to watch lando mope around like a kicked puppy when y/n had the lil thing with carlos

user69: so it wasn't some grand plan?

oscarpiastri: no he's just dumb enough to actually set up his first love with his best friend

landonorris: OSCAR!

oscarpiastri: am i wrong?

landonorris: no... but! i got there in the end

oscarpiastri: good thing you're faster on track

user70: the grid being just as done with them as us is killing me

maxfewtrell: finally this unnecessarily long and overly convoluted saga has come to and end, lets never do this again!

landonorris: i'm locked in for life bro no worries

yourusername: awwwwwwwwwwwwww i love you too bubs

maxfewtrell: stop being sappy under my comment

yourusername: you just complained we didn't sort out our shit fast enough and now we're too sappy?

landonorris: STICK TO A STORY BOZO

maxfewtrell: now you're even more ride or die... can we go back?

yourusername: nope!

landonorris: nope!

maxverstappen1: i for one am very happy for you both

yourusername: thank you max !!

landonorris: not so fast, he had the biggest bet on us in the paddock

yourusername: get that bag sis

landonorris: ???

yourusername: we can't fight it anymore, let them have their jokes, we actually have each other now :)

landonorris: yes we do :) xx

user71: golly gosh this is so fucking cute

fin.

note: i hope this is what you were looking for and that you all enjoyed!! i'm just waiting on my tester sticker sheets for my small business @badlydrawnf1cats on here and on instagram, if you wanna give it a follow x tHANK YOU FOR READING MY LOVES X

[lovelytsunoda]

INDYCAR DRIVERS AS ROMANCE BOOK TROPES

summary: I give romance tropes to my favourite funky indycar men. if y’all actually want to see me do any of these, please tell me in the comments 🫣

dedicated to my bestie @magnummagnussen who helped ghostwrite and give her ideas on a few of the tropes! (sorry for not including sting ray bestie, I have his trope to callum!)

pato o ward

reverse grumpy sunshine!!! pato is a bright ball of sunshine and in an ideal romance book he would pair with a girl who is a little grumpy (just a little bit) and cynical about falling in love and then dear sweet patricio would sweep in and show her just how magical being in love can be and show her that soulmates are real and life doesn’t have to be doom and gloom all the time

josef newgarden

single dad x nanny trope! I can see this playing out as recently widowed josef (probably not the right word) struggling to balance being the only caregiver for his son next to his racing career. cue y/n, the nanny he hires to watch after his son while he’s away and competing. he’s scared to fall in love again because he’s still grieving what he once had, but his son grows attached to y/n and how could josef not fall in love with someone his son loves so much?

kyle kirkwood

second chance romance! he lost her once, and now that she’s back in his life he won’t give her up!! the way I see this one playing out is that maybe they were together before kyle made it to the big leagues, back when nobody in america knew his name. but while she was deciding which ivy league scholarship to choose, Kyle is thinking about his career. she gives him an ultimatum, and he picks racing. so she goes to her big fancy school and forgets about him. but when a family tragedy brings her back to florida and she comes face to face with kyle, who is now a grand prix winner, hes desperate to keep her from being the one who got away.

colton herta

accidental pregnancy!! their relationship was falling apart, the distance and the pressures of colton’s career. eating them alive. words were said that couldn’t be taken back. so they called it quits, he moved to nashville and she tried to keep her head down and finish school. until she missed her period. her world seems to be ending with those two little lines, but she still cares about him. she can’t just keep coltons child a secret from him, this disaster is as much his fault as it is hers. so she goes to indiana the weekend before the 500 and she tells him. tensions are running high between them both, but they’re trying to do right by each other and the baby, and the experience reminds them that maybe they were meant to be together all along.

marcus armstrong

brothers best friend!!! y/n ilott knows that marcus is off limits. since she was fifteen she’s thought all her brothers friends were gross anyways. marcus was always by far the most annoying. fast forward a few years and they’re racing together in the same series again and suddenly marcus armstrong isn’t a gross as she remembers. and has his voice always been that sexy?? but callum can NEVER know.

david malukas

wrong number! let’s face it this man is too lazy to make contacts for half of the names in his phone. he was so sure that was sting rays number. why wouldn’t it be, the man from idaho had typed it in himself. turns out, it wasn’t sting ray at all, but some random college student who lived over a thousand miles away. he starts to text her when she gets bored, eventually progressing to face time calls, and begins to get flustered once he has a face to put with the personality. ends with him flying out to meet in her in person.

christian lundgaard

fake dating! he shouldn’t have done it. every bone in his body told him not to do it but the panicked look on her face was enough to make christian agree to pretend to be her boyfriend to scare off her cheating ex boyfriend, who was making her seriously uncomfortable. it was just supposed to be for the weekend, until the guy started leaving her alone. but a lot can happen on one race weekend and suddenly it doesn’t seem so fake anymore.

callum ilott

childhood friends to lovers! they were always just supposed to be friends, but if that’s the case, why does callum hate her new boyfriend now that the relationship is getting serious? why does y/n still feel like something is missing? cue a drunken night out leading to the hottest sex callum has ever had and lingering questions on both sides about what they really truly want out of life and love.

TAGS:

@clemswrld @httpiastri @libraryofloveletters @sidcrosbyspuck @scuderiasundays @scuderiamh @lorarri

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

HEY HEY HEY so I’ve never requested anything before bc I’m new to tumblr and idk if this is even where I’m supposed to request thing so if i’m wrong then I sincerely apologise.

BUT, if I am then slay I have a funky idea for a tangerine fic that I think you would write so well :)

So I saw you said you’re British but idk if you ever went to a youth club? Like where they have 5-12 year olds come for group games in a sports hall and they do arts and crafts and play with the big rainbow parachute thing on the ground?? Well anyhoo I’ve been stuck on this non hitmen au where I can see reader being one of the leaders who takes the club and usually lemon is the other one, but for whatever reason, maybe like a recreational injury, he needs tangerine to fill in for a few weeks. So this is reader and tan meeting for the first time other than Lemon mentioning him and obviously Tan isn’t used to being around kids and is a grumpy dude and doesn’t know how to talk to them while playing the games but reader finds it funny because she knows them all well. Some funny Tangerine and kiddio interactions results in him catching her attention and the two become better friends while the group are away with the arts and crafts leader. Maybe they get up to some interesting stuff after a few weeks in the sports supply store room?? I just think it’s a fun little thing and the idea gives me nostalgia because if my old youth club lol

HI HI HII!! don’t worry you did it right! okay so, for this I had too many ideas (as it felt so nostalgic to write) I kinda added too much but not enough and feel as though it may not make any sense (like I waffled) I really loved this idea and don’t know if I did as well as I could’ve. but thank you for requesting, hope you like it💌

uncle lemon’s brother

tangerine x f reader

wc || 1.2k

warnings || none

masterlist + rules

taglist

Most days, you worked at the local youth club, where you'd lead all sorts of fun activities for the kids. Whether that be arts and crafts, sports in the indoor hall or nature walks, whatever it was that kept the kids entertained, you did it. 

Luckily you have a work partner that helps lighten the weight of the kids' intense energy. He's much like a child himself, so he fits in perfectly. When he first joined several months back, the kids gave him a nickname before he could even introduce himself, naming him Lemon, well, Uncle Lemon. There was no reason behind the nickname other than it was 'funny'.

You and Lemon were quite a pair when handling the kids. You had worked out a system that allowed the children to do as much as possible in the short time you had available. You'd lead the artsy sessions, and Lemon managed the sporty activities. 

Last week, during one of the after-school sessions, Lemon ironically injured his wrist on one of the climbing apparatuses while on lookout duty. So for his temporary replacement, he asked his brother to fill in. You've never met his brother before, only hearing bits of him when Lemon would share stories or memories. You were a little uncertain if he would be a good substitute considering how much of a grump he was described as. 

-

Today is his brother's first day, so you were patiently waiting by the front desk to give him a quick tour before the kids arrived. Hearing a car pull up out front, you hastily organise the schedule for this afternoon, flicking through the papers as you make your way to the entrance.

"Hey, 'lright?" the man greets, extending a hand.

"Hi," you reply, shaking his hand as you hold his intense eye contact. "You're Lemon's brother, right?"

"Yeah-- Lemon?" he questions, his head slightly cocking.

Snickering. "Yeah, the uh- kids gave him that nickname when he joined. Clearly, it's stuck. How is he doing, by the way?"

"So dramatic," he scoffs. "Acting like he broke his whole body. Can't believe the knob-- sorry, the idiot broke his wrist on a climbing frame," he snickers, following after you. 

"Yeah, that sounds about right," chuckling. 

-

It took a little time for Lemon's brother to settle into his new role. It was quite clear that he was not used to being around kids, but as the afternoon went on, he grew more comfortable, and his demeanour began to change. Soften, even.

He was 'coaching' a game of dodgeball while you entertained the eliminated kids, telling them stories until the next round. 

"Bob..." a little boy asks, lightly tugging on your hand.

"We're still calling me 'Bob'?" you question, your features playful as you act displeased. "But, yes, munchkin. What's up?" you ask, ruffling his hair.

"What should we call him?" he asks, blatantly pointing across the hall.

"I think something funny," someone else adds, giggling.

"I think we should call him turd man,"

"Turd man?" you entertain, pretending to be disgusted. "That's so disgusting."

"I like turd man,"

"Me too," another adds.

"Mr Grump,"

"Don't forget he's Lemon's brother, so we should call him something similar?" you prompt, trying to ease them into a less disgusting name. 

"BANANA," a young boy calls out, practically jumping in excitement.

"Apple,"

"Orange,"

"Lemon number two,"

"Oh, how about something citrus-like. Something sour, maybe?" you chuckle, occasionally catching eyes with the new replacement across the way.

"Satsuma," a little girl calls out, pulling the small orange from her shoe.

"Sweetie, that's a tangerine," you smile.

"That's a good name,"

"We should call him that,"

"Please can we call him that, Bob?"

"Please..."

"Hm, I don't see why not," you laugh, ushering the kids along to join in the new game.

"Tangerine," a young girl calls out, rushing over.

"Tangerine!" another screams. 

"Why the calling me that?" he whispers, his head hung low as he leans towards you. 

"Ask them," you snicker, talking close to his ear. "Could be worse. They call me Bob,"

"Okay, yeah, you're right. That's much worse," he chuckles. "'lright," he claps, gathering the kids together. "We got time for one more game, ain't we, Bob?"

Grinning. "Yeah, I think so, Tangerine."

After one quick game of dodgeball later, you, Tangerine and the kids walked back to the main rec room to wind down before hometime. All sat in a circle as you all took turns to share your favourite part of the day.

"Where are you from, Tangerine?" a little boy asks, picking his nose as he poked him with his free hand.

He turns to look at you, his features begging for help as he leans away from the bogey picker. "Um... from my house,"

"Me too,"

"And me,"

"I'm from Poland,"

"Me too,"

"My daddy is from Ireland,"

"Where is that?"

"Near Spain,"

"No, that's an island,"

"You're wrong,"

Listening to all the kids blabber on, you face Tangerine, masking a snicker when you see his exasperated expression. "Hang in there," you mouth, a smile pulling on the corners of your lips. 

Playing along, he checks the time on his watch. "Almost there," he whispers. 

As the days went on, Tangerine grew a lot more comfortable with the kids, and he looked as though he was starting to enjoy his time with them. There was something so endearing about seeing a burly, attractive man acting so juvenile while entertaining kids, how soft and gentle he could be while speaking to them. 

-

The two of you had spent lots of time together over the last couple of weeks, hanging out and chatting whenever there was a moment free. Tangerine was very slow to warm up, very reserved, but once you got past the first layer, you realised just how decent a person he is. 

The kids had just left for the day, so you and Tangerine had to pack away the equipment in the sports cupboard that was left out.

"Hey, pass us that, would ya?" he asks, nodding to the bag of balls behind you. 

"The ballbag?" you grin, reaching over the messily organised area. "You gotta say it. That's the rule round here," you joke.

"Ballbag," he says flatly, extending a hand. "Now give it," 

"Yeah, one min, my legs stuck,"

"Stuck?"

"Yeah," you sigh.

"Don't move. I'll come help," grinning.

"You're a funny man,"

He parts the boxes to the side as he makes his way over to you, moving the equipment out of the way so he can crouch to the floor beside you. His hand is warm and firm as he grips your ankle, slowly guiding it from the crack, looking up at you. 

He coughs in his fist, clearing his throat. "There we go," he says, glancing away from your admiration-filled gaze.

Clearing your own throat, awkwardly looking away. "Thanks,"

"Yeah," he nods, meeting your eyes once more. 

He slowly stands up, keeping his eyes glued to yours. His head hangs low as he brushes a strand of hair away from your face, his eyes darting over you. "No problem," he whispers. 

"We should get going," you whisper back, practically pulling away.

"Don't worry. I weren't gonna kiss ya," Tan chuckles, lacing his hands into yours. Smirking. "Not yet, anyway."

@tangerinesgf @kpopgirlbtssvt @v1ntage-daydr3am @earth-elemental18 @ashlynhasmanyhyperfixations @idontknowwhattohaveasmyuser @thewinterv @navs-bhat @ilovetangerinewithallmyheart @theredvelvetbitch @randomawesomeperson102 @lov3lypeaches7 @princess-pebbles-things @astermath @dynamitehacke @ugh09876554444 @boldlyimportantface @charmedkim @fruitlovertangerine @psiiconic @bubblezuku @sporadiccherryblossomfan @landryslove

[angiiepaniic]

hiii giving you an excuse to talk about your bill because i also like him a lot and know your pain about never being able to talk about him. so heres your divine excuse to ^-^ i wanna hear

AAAA YOU DONT KNOW WHAT YOU’VE DONE this will be VERY LONG and VERY RAMBLY so like u asked for this (thank u btw ur my first ask)

man idek where to like start :,D

(should note that this is mainly a modern rendition but sometimes i picture us in his world too so it goes either way, really :3)

if you want me to elaborate on anything then just lmk! (that goes for anyone who wants to)

OH OH ok so i’ve been REALLY getting into the band sleep token and there’s like 4 songs that remind me of him and as a result CANNOT stop listening to them (namely rain, give, mine, and telomeres - i highly recommend them!)

bill will listen to just about anything music wise but has a particular soft spot for things like blues, country, and some older rock like billy joel (also really likes soul and r&b like h.e.r. and muni long but will never admit it) — but generally, in his eyes, if it’s a good song it’s a good song, regardless of genre or artist.

he’s even more open with food, like, he will eat anything in front of him even if he doesn’t like it - just how he was raised. he doesn’t have any set favourites besides some southern classics (he will eat 25 servings of mac n cheese in one sitting if u let him)

i on the other hand am VERY iffy with food and find it hard to eat a lot of things, but we know each other so well now that bill will just eat off my plate sometimes (with consent ofc)

he’s not the best cook but is an absolute GRILL MASTER. all gang cookouts are held at his place (and pearson can’t decide if that’s insulting or not)

we spend like 90% of our time just relaxing together, but he does boxing on the weekends to (and i quote) ‘’stay strong for his lady’’

very protective, ABSOLUTELY the jealous type - not in a toxic way, just a bit grumpy sometimes (as always, this is bill we’re talking about)

he’s SO pleasant to be around. we have the same awful humour, the same love languages (we’re both so touch starved that we cling to each other like a curse)

he can be a bit a of a bastard with all the playful teasing but i do the same so it’s an even battleground. i can call him stupid and it’s fine, anyone else does and im THROWING HANDS (and so will he, probably) — and in turn, he’s the only one who can call ME stupid or HE will throw hands while i cry in the corner LMAO

the modern stuff doesn’t have very specific lore, just some cross-dimensional shenanigans. most of it is just based around my actual day-to-day and how i think we’d be living together — but i have a bunch of little aus! got a goth one, got a biker one (one of my personal faves), got a gender bend one because i’ll be damned if bill can’t ALSO be my girlfriend

when i imagine us in the red dead universe i refuse to let him have the bad ending he gets canonically - my funky little brain says that everyone’s healthy and happy in a little ranch or settlement somewhere because that’s what EVERYONE deserves (except micah)

i know most people view him as gay, but i personally headcanon him as pansexual and into everyone regardless of gender because I feel like that fits him quite well

he really is quite loveable, just sometimes he has trouble showing it - but he’s getting better. his ‘i love you’s come out as random hugs, random compliments, and endearing nicknames (as embarrassing as it is i imagine his go-to is calling me bunny :3)

we’re both kinda insecure so sometimes we have a back-and-forth but it’s compliments. i’ve been telling him every day that he’s wonderful and amazing and the best and that his belly’s one of my favourite things and i will DIE on that hill idc how much he complains.

ik that if he was reading the above paragraph he’d look at me and go ‘’BUT YOU COMPLAIN LIKE THAT TOO’’ and yk what he’s right - but that’s why we have each other

our relationship is very healing for the both of us. we both get the love we need and deserve after being deprived of it for so long, and genuinely we’re happier for it. i got out of a lot really bad habits thanks to him, and i’ve been doing my best to help him too <3

[stuurman]

other versions under the cut :3 so... I had this funky idea of a new character. a scientist from Aperture who miraculously survived GLaDOS neurotoxin attack but fully lost his sight because of it. but this idea came out of control real quick and I got a little obsessed with it. and also connected him with a nice amount of hl2 canon characters. and and now he also takes a part in hl2 storyline (during the combine occupation yk). and I actually think it's g-man's fault of why the heck this buddy is still alive. at this point I don't even care if I'm cringe it's so much fun to think about him being in the White Forest and constantly having a beef with dr. Magnusson because both of them are grumpy old men who can't just shut their mouths. in the meantime........ this is where i get off.....

i just love how his face turned out tbh! <:)

[possiblyeldritch]

Hrnnngg, I really need to talk about why I love playing DnD with my friends and why I love their characters.

Rambling below the cut. It’s long.

SO,

My friends and I have been playing the same DnD campaign for about two and a half years now and I absolutely love their characters. It’s something I’ve said to them multiple times but I don’t think I’ve ever truly expressed just how much I love these funky little guys.

Obviously, when the campaign started, the characters weren’t that fleshed out and half our party was new to DnD, so my best friend (another player) and I had to teach them, but it didn’t take long.

Their characters were kind of generic at the start, I’ll admit, but through guidance from their resident author (me) and through roleplaying/slow progression, their characters grew to feel like real people who reacted to world in a very real way.

Let’s start with Isaac. Isaac is a human sorcerer played by a friend who was new to the game. Isaac was the only full spell caster in the party. Isaac started the campaign with no backstory to speak of and his personality was just the generic grumpy character. However, as time progressed and I talked with Isaac’s player more, we were able to create a real backstory for him, and it was one that helped to put his personally into a realistic context.

> Isaac was a slave, sold off to flesh traders by his birth parents. He killed his captors and escaped from them during a thunderstorm one night while aboard a ship. The storm awakened him to his sorcerer blood and allowed him to destroy the ship through the storm magic he carried (this also ties into the main plot of our campaign because the villain was the god of storms).

> The impact of Isaac being a slave carried into his adult life, aka, his personality during the campaign. One of Isaac’s main traits that was originally played for laughs was that fact that he was a mean, distrustful, drunk. He spent most of his money on alcohol and he was generally rude to everyone. It wasn’t until many sessions later (and some character progression) that Isaac finally told the party about his time as a slave and showed them the scars that covered his back. Suddenly, he wasn’t just a generic angry drunk, instead he was a man who was hurt and struggles to trust people. But he would begin to trust others and that would lead him to becoming kinder (although begrudgingly).

In order to get full context for Isaac, I need to talk about Zulton, the one person in the party who proved himself trustworthy enough to make the sorcerer open up and allow himself to heal. That character is Zulton.

Zulton is played by my best friend. Zulton is a Minotaur paladin. Zulton is best described as a big sweetheart who genuinely wants to help people. He was not a simple, generic character in the first session, his player came prepared with a backstory that would shock the other characters when it was revealed.

> Zulton was orphaned at a very young age and was taken in by a pair of adoptive parents who raised him in an unnamed village somewhere near a forest. Zulton grew up learning how to hunt animals and track prey. It would be during one of these hunting expeditions that he would meet a man that would change his life.

> Zulton became quick friends with the man and the two began hunting together. The man would gain Zulton’s trust and that would be the downfall. The man manipulated Zulton into thinking he was good when in reality, the man was a werewolf who wanted nothing more than to make the people of Zulton’s home into his prey. Everyone Zulton ever knew would be killed by the man, and he would be left as the only survivor.

> I mentioned that Zulton was a sweetheart and that he was a paladin, but what I failed to mention is that he is a Paladin who swore an oath of vengeance against the man who killed his family. Zulton is a kind person because he has seen the evil of the world and he wants to protect others from it, but underneath the hopeful mask he wears, he is a horribly broken man filled with a boiling hatred for the man who killed his family.

But Zulton only brought up his backstory once with the party and he did it to help Isaac. Zulton may be someone fueled by rage, but he is still a good person. He wants to help and he wants to make the world a better place because he knows just how much it can suck. It’s his persistent kindness and genuine love for others that helped him finally crack through Isaac’s hard exterior and make the sorcerer confide in Zulton.

The dynamic of the party is always interesting to me because the characters feels so real, and my friends and I have often agreed that the party has the same energy as a bunch of coworkers. But, when we talk about Isaac and Zulton specifically, we all agree that those two are genuine friends and that’s because of how they treat each other and respect one another.

Now let’s talk about Raymond. He is played by my brother. Raymond is a halfling fighter. Raymond is an agent of chaos. Raymond is a cryptid. Raymond may or may not be a trickster deity who just wants to have some fun.

Raymond has no real backstory to speak of, and that may sound like he’d be a boring character to some, but not to us. Raymond’s lack of a backstory is what makes him interesting, that, and the way my brother chooses to play him.

Raymond likes to have fun and collect woodland animals as pets. Raymond likes to play pranks. Raymond likes to be someone who tags along with the party whether they (Isaac) like it or not.

He is persistent. He is strong. He is crafty. And he is a walking mystery. Raymond likes to randomly talk about little bits of his past during party interactions but then refuse to elaborate, causing chaos amongst the party and making them wonder more and more what this little man is exactly.

Because he is played as a mysterious, almost cryptid like man who just likes doing things for the hell of it, Raymond very quickly became the comedic heart of the party. This love of being a prankster and general nuisance cause Isaac to take a disliking to Raymond resulting in a friendly rivalry that usually helped bring the party close together.

Finally, the character who was a later addition to the party: Veda. Veda is a satyr ranger. Veda is from the Feywild. Veda is a pothead. Veda is the woman out of place in this story.

> Veda’s backstory is simple. She was a nuisance in the feywild, partying too hard and causing to many problems. So, she was booted out until she could learn to behave. This led to Veda meeting Raymond and him claiming her as one of his many pets, refusing to acknowledge that she was not a goat but instead a person.

Veda was introduced to the party as a newcomer, someone who’d never seen the world before or who understood the conflict the party was involved with. She was the perfect way for me to give more exposition about the world while also fitting nicely into the party as the last missing piece to make the dynamic whole.

Veda was a kind person who didn’t understand why the party would sometimes jump to violence to solve a problem and this created conflict. She always wanted to talk things out and find alternative solutions, which were often supported by Zulton, the unofficial voice of the party.

But she would soon have to accept that the main antagonists were not of the negotiating sort. They wanted violence and death, so she had no choice but to follow the party’s lead and handle things with violence. This resolution of violence actually broke Veda’s original character of being a carefree, flirty fun loving girl. She became someone who had her original worldview, forged of privilege, shattered. She did not experience the tragedy of Isaac and Zulton, nor did she have the almost uncanny knowledge and desires of Raymond. She was a person who grew up with privilege and was then forced to face the world as it was.

This break in her character changed her as a person. She suddenly became more thoughtful, down to earth, reasonable and mature. But even though she lost her rose colored world, she didn’t let it hurt her basics. She was still kind. She was still good. The world beat her down but she still stood up and assessed the wounds of others before her own.

Part of the reason she was able to keep her hope and her kindness is because she had the help of Zulton and a recovering Isaac to hold her in reality and remind her why they fought with the people she had wanted to talk down.

Veda was a good person who wanted good things for others even if she often felt powerless to help.

The core of why I love these characters and why I struggle so much to explain it is because these silly guys, played by my friends, are genuinely well made characters. They aren’t perfect. They aren’t Mary Sues or cardboard cutouts. They are real, nuanced people who experience struggles, happiness, conflict with the world, conflict with each other, and conflict with themselves. They are people who have all experienced hurt and betrayal, but it was through opening up to each other and finding others like themselves that they were able to get better together. We often joke about their dynamic being that of coworkers, but genuinely, I believe they are a found family. They are unlikely friends who found each other through circumstances that would change their lives.

They are not perfect, but they are good people who were hurt and who believe no one else should have to experience avoidable misery. They want to be a force of good, despite everything that has hurt them and tried to push them down a darker path.

I love this party because they are little pieces of my friends. They are pieces of their beliefs, their personalities, their personal histories, their emotions, and of their own insecurities.

I love these characters, because they ARE my friends, and through our funny sessions of fighting evil and role play, I think we were all able to open up to and help each other, whether we realized it or not.

[my0vershareworld]

Masterlist (updated 10/11/2023)

list of Genre: Fluff🧡, Angst💛, crack🖤, Yandere💗 Headcanons💚, Familia💙, Platonic💜, Romantic🤎, one shot🤍, story ❣, Female reader💕, Male reader 💞, Gender neutral reader 💓

Sosuke Aizen

I am the one who make you (Fake)🧡💚💙💓

My tool 💛💙❣💓

a child.. 🧡💚🤎💕

brand new powerful species 💚💕

Espada

Nnoitra Gilga

Grumpy x Sunshine 🧡💚🤎💓

Nnoitra Gilga relationship headcanons 🧡💚🤎💓

Holidays together? 🧡💚🤎💓

Aaroniero Arruruerie

You stole my heart but I'll let you keep it 🧡🤎🤍💓

Sitting on Aaroniero's lap 🧡💚🤎💓

Ulquiorra Cifer

This is fine 🧡💚🤎💓

the perfect Fraccion 💚💜💓

Szayelaporro Granz

Sitting on Szayelaporro's lap 🧡💚🤎💓

a smartie like me fit perfectly with you 🧡💚🤎💓

love day you say? 🧡💚🤎💓

what are you doing, human? 🧡💚🤎💓

but there is only one bed! 🧡💚🤎💓

will you be the last piece to make me the perfect being? 🧡🤎🤍💓

I'll make you fall for me, my dear 🧡💚🤎💓

General hcs 💚

sakura mochi 🧡💚🤎💓

the day you kept me warm 🧡💚🤎💓

so this is love..how fun! 🧡���💓

Grimmjow Jaggerjaques

what an annoyance (lovingly) 🧡💚💙💓

Nelliel Tu Odelschwacnk

the friendliest friend! 🧡💚💜💓

General hcs 💚

Tier Harribel

Dating the dangerous shark 🧡💚🤎💓

my dear.. 🧡💚🤎💓

Coyote Starrk

burden 💛🤎🤍💓

protective reader 🧡💚🤎💓

Arrancars

Yylfordt Granz

Ice Skating with Yylfordt 🧡💜💓

Date? Me? 🧡💚🤎💓

you're trying every tricks huh? 🧡💚💜💓

Tesla Lindocruz

I will always be with you 🧡💚🤎💓

Luppi Antenor

you tower 🧡💚🤎💓

Roka Paramia

...me? your friend?.. 🧡(little)💛💚💜💓

a friend..? 🧡💚💜💓

Roka general hcs 💚

Quincies

Jugram Haschwalth

the important 🧡💚🤎💞

Giselle Gewelle

my living zombie friend! 🧡💚💜💓

my blissful lovergirl! 🧡💚🤎💕

Äs Nödt

the shyness of yours.. 🧡💚🤎💓

is that supposed to be scary? 🧡💚🖤💓

Askin Nakk Le Vaar

silly funky man 💚🖤

Cang Du

the memories will always haunt him 🧡💚🤎💓

Bambietta Basterbine

unseen love 🧡💛🤎🤍💕

Gremmy Thoumeaux

dusk til dawn 🧡💚🤎💓

Yandere Gremmy 💗💚🤎💓

Quilge Opie

vampire Yandere with stockholm syndrome reader 💗💚🤎💓

Visored

Shinji Hirako

lemme help you with your anxiety, babe! 🧡💚🤎💓

would a kiss work for making up to you? 🧡💚🤎💓

I can teach ya how ta' be like me! 💚💓

Lisa Yadomaru

well aren't you a lucky one? 🧡💚💜💓

Multi-Character

friend? friend! (Coyote Starrk x reader, Lilynette Gingerbuck x GN!Human reader) 🧡💚💜💓

Chaotic (Fraccion's in a reality show)💚🖤

more..SIBLING?! (the granz brothers x GN!Human reader) 🧡💚💙💓

..what a sweet Shinigami.. (the espadas x GN!Shingami reader) 🧡💚🤎💓

I fucking hate you (espada meeting someone like Bellatrix Lestrange) 💚

I AM NOT SHARING! (the Granz brothers x M!human reader) 🧡💚🤎💞

love..., LOVE!, love! (As Nodt, Gerard Valkyrie, Giselle Gewelle x GN!Human reader) 🧡💚🤎💓

perfection (espada x GN!Arrancar reader) 🧡💚🤎💓

GET OFF OF ME (Szayelaporro Granz, Nnoitra Gilga, Coyote Starrk, Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez X GN!Human reader) 🖤💚💜💓

what the fuck is this creature.. (Espadas with a genderfluid child made by Szayelaporro) 💚🖤

you're related to who? (Espadas with an S/O who's related to one of the Espada) 🧡💚🤎💓

go! girlboss go! (Espadas (Excluding Barragan and Yammy) x Girlboss reader) 🧡💚🤎💕

you should put your phone away sometimes (Espadas (excluding Barragan and Yammy) x GN!Human reader rizzing them up) 🧡🖤💚💓

what are you trying to achieve here? (Fracciones (excluding Lilynette) x GN!Human reader rizzing them up) 🧡🖤💚💓

cuddles (Espada (excluding Yammy and Barragan) x GN!Human reader) 🧡💚🤎💓

highschool year (espadas (excluding Barragaan and Yammy) in high school year +BONUS Yylfordt and Luppi)🖤💚

happy valentine, here's your love (Cang Du, Bazz-B, Jugram, Gremmy x GN!Human reader on valentine day) 🧡💚🤎💓

Amoral individual (Espadas (excluding Yammy and Barragan) meeting someone like Tiffany Valentine)

[oddishblossom]

OHMYGODDDD I HOPE YOU ENJOYED SANDMAN'S FIRST SEASON!!!!! a second is cooking up btw!!!

this story about stories is definitely one of my faves from all times<3 what are your thoughts so far????

DUDE IT’S SO GREAT!!!! i watched one episode and i was immediately hooked! i was like that one gordon ramsey meme where he goes “finally some good fuckin food” because the writing, the acting, the directing, the characters, everything’s so well done 🤩! the characters, man… i gotta talk about the characters! they’re so interesting. they really don’t shy away from making deplorable sinister villains that aren’t one dimensional. the corinthian, lucifer, heck even johnny made me want to keep watching (but then again i’m always a sucker for good villains). as for my favorite characters in general, death of the endless was so cool! i love the contrast between being the personification of death, a concept that is so terrifying to humans, and the way she’s so bright and kind and warm and a good sister. matthew the raven is a gem i needed more of that funky little guy. but my favorite has to be dream! he’s so ethereal, like his soothing voice and the way he talks sets him apart from everyone else. and yet even tho he’s kind of a god, he’s also stubborn and grumpy and bad at seeing the error of his ways which is funny to watch (he’s still got a soft side tho ☺️). love all the queerness, too. ppl were not kidding when they said it was made for the gays <3 i may or may not be scrolling through the dreamling tag on ao3 (don’t even get me started on dream and hob. they’re SOOOOOOOO… so good for each other 🥺💖. i see them sit down and softly smile at each other after centuries and it’s like an arrow went through my heart)

so yeah i’m really glad i gave this show a chance! i’m so picky when it comes to starting new shows and i’m always dropping things after a few eps (i blame the bad attention span) but this one sunk it’s claws into me and i’m very excited for season 2 😂

[justaduckarts]

Hello, hello hello! I am once again here to gush over One Who Holds A Star.

Firstly, *man* my heart broke at Eclipse’s reaction to the lives lost in his own attack. He planned it, it’s without a doubt his fault, but he didn’t *want* anybody to get hurt. He made a point to tell his troops that, Julian remarked that he tried to be merciful and get people to leave… but it just doesn’t work like that when people have so much to protect that they’d rather fight than run. And in that case… Eclipse can’t just let them have their way.

The difference in how Eclipse views his own actions versus how other gods like Sun and Moon believe him to view them is so so interesting, and I love it just as much as it hurts me that he has to pretend to be colder than he is as to not show weakness. AND OF COURSE. THE SAME GOES WITH PLUTO.

Oh my heart breaks for her she’s so sweet and caring. The way the little Star Holder immediately warmed up to her despite having been told she’s dangerous, without even a second thought as to Lunar’s threat (being unkind was never an option), made me both so so happy and so so sad that they’ve been missing out on this for years now. I can’t wait to learn more about her… and I’m so very intrigued by how a conversation would go between the Star and her regarding Sun, seeing as the Star Holder has so much resentment and fear… but Pluto is still so guilty and clearly cares about him still.

And then, of course, there’s Lunar.

I love him. I love him dearly. He’s so charming and funny and I’m so convinced he’s not just some random “lesser god” like Sun believes (speaking of which OHHHH how grumpy I was when he was disrespectful to him when he was doing WELL. “The Star Holder is so hard to befriend” - proceeds to belittle Lunar in front of them). BUT YEAH. Illusionist who Star Holder detected as strong enough to be considered “your grace”? I believe them 100%. Anyways I love his demeanour and how protective he is, even if he’s also a little twerp. Thought he would’ve noticed Aurelia’s vibes were horrid when he went to get blessed… but he already had his own preconceived notions to get over.

AS ALWAYS I’m so dearly excited for more. Thank you for your lovely story, and I hope you’re taking care of yourself! <3

-🌻 Daye

OMG HI! <3

Eclipse does not enjoy needless bloodshed. He's a deeply compassionate god. Unfortunately, you're right. People fought to defend the temple and their homes and Eclipse had to make a tough call.

YES. Eclipse carrying himself as this force to be reckoned with. Pluto presenting herself as hostile and unapologetic for what she's done. When, deep down, they carry deep regret and wish there was a better way.

Ahhh Pluto. A darling, truly. As much as Star Holder melted when they met Pluto, Pluto melted right back. I DO wonder how their eventual discussion of Sun will go, hmm... They have such differing views of him. And what's most funny is that Pluto has seen a much, much worse side of Sun (read: more aggressive) than Star Holder. Yet Star is the one who resents him.

LUNAR! He is such a funky guy, right? I'm so glad you love him! I love him <3 There's so much to his character. Is he really just a 'lesser' god of illusions? (Sun ugh fumbling AGAIN.) He is an absolute menace, I adore him. ...Was it that he didn't notice? Or that he pretended not to? :) I will let you decide. You're right, though. Lunar let his assumptions about the Star Holder influence his behavior, which was foolish. Buuuut I wonder how he will evolve after knowing the Star Holder a while? :)

AS ALWAYS THANK YOU SO MUCH!! I love hearing from everyone who enjoys my work! I am so so honored to have so many kind readers and the asks and comments I get on my work make me SO excited to keep sharing my works!! Thank you, Daye! Have a great day and be well! <3

-Duck

[clintbeifong]

@hollygl125 thanks for the ask!

The West Wing

The first character I first fell in love with: CJ. I was waiting to fall for Josh or Donna, but then oops the six foot tall disaster bisexual stole my heart.

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: Leo! I don’t usually go for the grumpy old man trope but damn I love that grumpy old man.

The character everyone else loves that I don’t: Abbey Bartlet.

The character I love that everyone else hates: Danny Concannon. I’ve gotten the sense that he brings up strong feelings over whether he should have ended up with CJ. He had me at “goldfish.”

The character I used to love but don’t any longer: Will. Started interesting; turned into a prick.

The character I would totally smooch: CJ

The character I’d want to be like: Joey Lucas. She’s so on top of things.

The character I’d slap: Josh in season 6-7 when he just can’t get on the same page with Santos.

A pairing that I love: CJ/Danny

A pairing that I despise: Despise is a strong word, but I never cared much about Zoey and Charlie.

CSI

The first character I first fell in love with: Grissom! The first scene of CSI I ever saw was Grissom’s interrogation at the end of 3x15 “Lady Heather’s Box.” I was immediately enthralled with how collected (and not quite smug but...something?) he was and I needed to see more of this show STAT! (I did.)

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: Lady Heather

 The character everyone else loves that I don’t: Nick maybe? I mean he’s fine I just don’t always find him all that interesting.

The character I love that everyone else hates forgets: The funky little mortician with the casket-reselling scam that the gang consults every once in a while in the early seasons. That’s like Pushing Daisies shit, I love it.

The character I used to love but don’t any longer: I don’t think I liked anybody less since I’ve gotten back into the show. (I only truly watched through season 8 though).

The character I would totally smooch: would rather watch Grissom and Sara smooch each other, but Sara if necessary

The character I’d want to be like: Grissom

The character I’d slap: I would not slap Grissom but I would like to shake him vigorously by the shoulders during season 4. Would slap Ecklie.

A pairing that I love: GSR!

A pairing that I despise: I don’t care about an other CSI ships enough to despise them including Grissom x Heather! I think their dynamic only makes both characters and GSR more fascinating and I do not care if they slept together during Lady Heather’s Box.

[carsonbeech]

You knocked frantically on your professor’s door at office hours. It was pouring outside and your clothes had been soaked through. After about a minute, the door opened to the tall man looking at you with a hard expression. He moved to the side letting you into the classroom. You quietly said thank you and walked in. The squeaks of your shoes could be heard for miles.

“Why are you here, Y/N?” He asked. His voice sounded like he’d just woken up. Though his question caused you to be worried.

“What do you mean? Is it not office hours?” You checked your watch for the time, “Yeah, Tuesdays and Thursdays from 3-6 pm.” You confirmed for yourself.

“I sent a message out that they weren’t being held today because of the unexpected storm. Do you check your email?” You’d never heard him so grumpy. Dr. Ford was usually a man with a smile. You wondered what had gotten him in such a mood.

“I usually do, actually. I was just in class and ran straight here after. Hence the clothes,” you tried to lighten the mood. It just earned you a grunt.

“Well now that you’re here, what do you need?” He sat behind his desk and placed his fingers on his temple.

Dr. Ford was beautiful. Olive skin with a light stubble casting his face. Hazel eyes that shine when he finds something interesting. Big muscles that you imagined wrapped around your body.

“You know, you don’t have to do this, I can just come back another day,” You gathered your belongings and headed for the door.

“You’re already here, Y/N. Don’t be stupid.”

The comment made your head spin back to him in an instant. One thing a man will not do, is insult your intelligence, “Okay, I don’t know who you think you are to be talking to me that way but it’s unacceptable. Just because you’re in a funky ass mood at your grown age, doesn’t mean you can just make comments sir.”

He sat back in his chair as a small smirk grazed his nude lips, “You’re in my classroom, Y/N. I will speak to you how I please.”

“Oh sorry, do you pay rent here Dr. Ford? The college didn’t hire you to be an ass,” you bit back, “And quit saying my name like we’re cool. I should’ve listened to your reviews on that website. You have a terrible attitude.”

The comment made him stand to his feet, “Those reviews are written by little brats like you. Who think that every professor is supposed to fall at their feet and help them with every little step along the way. You’ve been out of grade school for a while now, act like it.”

“I know where I am, and I know my expectations. They’re not that every professor will help me, it’s that they have common fucking decency which you obviously do not attain. Now excuse me, Dr. Pearce Ford, I have better places to be than here.” You said and spun on your foot towards the door. But he just had to open his handsomely handsome mouth yet again.

“Do you really though?” His voice was getting closer to you.

“Excuse me?”

“You don’t have anywhere to be. You mapped out the next three hours of your life to be here to get help from me.” He was making his way towards you with both hands in his pockets making his frame look even more lean.

“Well now their mapped out to be spent without an asshole of a man making rude comments about me,” You looked directly up at him as he stood right in front of you. The tension could be cut with a knife.

“What are you gonna do then?”

“What?”

“What. Are. You. Going. To. Do?”

“I’m officially sick of you. Goodbye, Dr. Ford.” For the third time, you turned to leave but you wrist was tightly grabbed by the man in the room, “Let me go.”

“I’ll help you with your coursework, Y/N,” he said with his voice hoarse.

“Too late now,” you said. You weren’t sure if it actually came out. The two of you were standing so close. Chest to chest.

Another smirk lit his lips, this time bigger, “You know, blue is my favorite color.”

Your head tilted sideways, “is it really?”

“Yeah, powder blue. Sometimes with some lace white mixed in.”

You then realized the color of the bra you had on. And your soaked white long sleeve shirt. You shook your head and looked down with a laugh, “Good thing that’s all you’ll be seeing.”

“Is it really?” he repeats back to you. His thumb is suddenly on your chin, tracing your jaw. The professor makes his way up to your bottom lip and pulls it down lightly. You stare up at him with lust in both of your eyes, “Your eyes tell a story, Y/N. A story of seduction. You look at me, say right in the middle of class, a slight smile on your face. To anyone else you look innocent, but i see it. When you undress me with your eyes.”

You could feel your cheeks getting hotter by the second, “Do you imagine me fucking you?” He continues, “Do you imagine my tongue on you, or my fingers inside of you? I’ve seen your eyes while I touch myself, Y/N.”

He puts his finger inside your mouth and you quickly close your mouth and suck on it. You feel your clit beating in your underwear. His other hand slips down to your leggings. Running his hand over your clothed cunt, you whimper, “So sensitive, baby.” He tells you. “How ‘bout you take those off.”

You release his finger from your mouth and slowly take off your leggings, “Matching underwear, of course.” He comments.

“Can I touch you, Dr.?” you ask. You don’t wait for his answer. You palm his hardened cock over his jeans. He grunts and rolls his head back.

Your hand is roughly removed and he turns you around, pressing your back to his chest, “I didn’t say you could, Y/N.”

He roughly pulls down your blue panties and rubs one finger over your shining clit, “O-oh my god,” you whisper. He ignores you and brings his finger back to your folds.

“When did get wet, Y/N? When you walked in? When I called you stupid, Or was it when you were in bed last night planning to come to my office hours hoping I would finally fuck you?”One finger enters you making you gasp loudly. Before you could even say anything, he pulls it out, “You think you get first turn, babe? Again, stupid. Get on your knees.”

You obeyed quickly and sat on your knees in front of him. Dr. Ford pull his belt off and his pants down. When his underwear came off, you held in a whimper of excitement and scared. You grabbed his dick which barely fit your hand. Your mouth latched onto him quickly. Bobbing your head up and down and leaking onto the floor.

“Fuuuck, Y/N.” He groaned out before doing fucking into your throat. He grabbed a fistful of your hair and fucked himself into your mouth. You gagged around him and held onto the back of your thighs. It’s almost like he could read your mind. Getting your mouth fucked is one your many sexual desires, “You like that? You like when I treat you like your a stupid slut?”

You tried to nod but his cock was ripped out your mouth, “Are you touching touching yourself?” he asked angrily, “Did I say you could touch yourself?” You shook your head. You didn’t even realize you were doing it.

He pulled you up by your hair and pushed you back on his desk. You felt a sharp slap to your pussy that made you yell out, “Fuck!”

“I didn’t say you could touch yourself, Y/N.”

“You didn’t say I couldn’t,” you bit back, which earned you another hard slap to the pussy.

“Don’t get smart.” He slapped your pussy again even harder, “Now I just have to treat you like a bitch.”

He flipped you over and spit on your cunt. When he rammed himself inside of you, you couldn’t contain your moans. “Oh my fucking god Dr. Ford! Fuck!” All you could do was ball your fist.

His dick was so big inside of you. Stretching you out. You were sure you wouldn’t be walking home, “You just love getting treated like a slut huh?” he asked you. You ignored his question and moaned again, he slammed himself inside of you and didn’t move, “When I ask you a question, you answer me!”

“Yes, I like being treated like a slut Dr. Ford!” you cried out, your body shaking.

He wrapped one hand around your throat and another clasped onto your clit, “Whose pussy is this, Y/N?”

He held onto your throat tight, “Yours, sir.” You gasped out:

His hand moved steadily on your clit, “Whose pussy is this, Y/N?”

You could feel yourself about to come, your body shook and eyes rolled back, “Yours, Dr. Ford!”

“Cum for me, you fucking slut,” he growled in your ear.

Your body shook violently as a clear liquid shot from your pussy, “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” You yelled out.

“Good girl, Y/N,” Dr. Ford purred, “Now when I cum inside you, don’t let any leak out or we’re going to have a problem.”

He should’ve known by now, you like problems. He sped up and rammed inside, cumming, “Take it, Y/N.”

Your pussy clenched around him as he came.

When he pulled out, you quickly (and purposefully) pulsed your vagina making some of his cum fall out.

“Do you want to have a problem?”

You smirked up at him and rolled onto your back. You sucked your fingers before slowly inserting them inside yourself, “Maybe I do, sir.”

[dufferpuffer]

I wish there was more destructive Wolfstar about. Like make it MORE toxic - in the funky interesting fictional way. Its the only form of the ship I have any interest in, because it is the closest to how their canon personalities would mesh. They are a poor fit for eachother in almost all ways - and that sort of trainwreck is fun to explore... but it rarely ever is. They are both self-destructive and messy men who need alot of something the other cannot supply.

Remus can hardly even manage himself, let alone Sirius' problems - and Sirius can't give Remus the patient babying he needs. How cruel and stifling that life would be for a man trapped for so long already... And yet they both desire so much so strongly. A type of life neither of them can reach, that another has snatched away from them. The last time they met they thought the other was a traitor... and now all they have is eachother. Its like... right there. Something you could make tragic and compelling, or twist a little to be sweet. Something with depth. But it is so much easier to have Sirius be a funky lil twink and Remus a grumpy dom. Le sigh.

I love how wolfstar shippers call remadora toxic as if they don’t make Remus this rude asshole that degrades and is just plain mean to Sirius — like no love,, wolfstar is the toxic one even if it follows their canon characterisations lmao

[girlwithwolftatoo]

Can you do Marc or Jake and you in the car driving on a road trip and your singing September by Earth Wind and Fire and there vibing to it but they don’t want to do it openly bc there to stubborn so you have poke or tickle them till they start signing and when the song stops they just go back to the way they were

(Everytime I think of that song, comes to my mind the little bird whistling it in front of the mirror)

Marc Spector:

*He doesn't listen to music. He doesn't even turn the radio on. He's driving, he's concentrated, he's... a little boring for the trips sometimes.

*Anyways, he'll let you plug your phone and listen to your tunes in a moderate level. "Maybe some music will brush away that grumpiness of yours" you joke.

*Because he's not very into music, you don't know nothing about his likes, and your ratio is so random he sometimes stares at you for moving sexy and then headbang as music switches.

*But who doesn't love EWaF? They have great songs! Marc pretends everything's right while you make a tiny dance with your hands at the rhytm of "September" while you give him glances.

*"C'mon, Marc, sing with me! Baaa-dee-yaaa, say do you remember-!" He'll struggle to keep his face straight, and ends up failing. "You're a little nuts, did you know?" he grunts with a chuckle.

*You can pretend you're holding a mic and passing it to him. He'll shake his head and mumble the lyrics. "Oh no, sing it right!" you nag him. At the end he'll do as you tell him to.

Jake Lockley:

*This man likes to listen any sort of music, and sometimes loses himself into it, but usually he keeps his facade of thug, even if you're at his side singing or dancing or shaking your head along the tunes.

*Unlike Marc, Jake will directly tell you he doesn't like to sing nor do any "ridiculous shit", so you'll need the heavy machinery to make him get in the funky mood.

*Since he's the driver, you don't want to distract him, so during red lights you do this thing that is a finger dancing on his hand or the wheel. He cannot help but look at your fingers doing this silly moves while you yell the chorus. "Drop it" he comands you, and now your fingers move to his shoulder.

*"I'm the tiny happines fairy, Jake" you say in a higher voice tone "If you don't show you're happy I will die and my remains will stain your limo with my stench" Jake gives you this half exhasperated, half amused look. "Voy a aplastar a esa pinche hadita" ("I'm going to crush that fucking little fairy").

*If you keep going, Jake will grab your hand, kiss your fingers and ask you if you want to have some "real fun tonight". He's serious, and you know what it means: dine, dance, break some criminals' jaws and make out in the back of the limo... probably listening "September" by EWaF.

[mykaeba]

to you guys who come here from twitter: you don’t need to be known as yourself.

tumblr remains as one of the few places of the internet where you can be completely anonymous. you can literally be whoever even.

no one needs to know your name, your age, your birth date, anything. in a world that sucks information right out of your soul, i can only recommend keeping those for you.

you can tell information, sure. and depending on what you want to do with your blog, you might want to share some of it.

but the thing is, it’s your choice, 100%.

pronouns? might be the most important to say, but if we don’t know, we’ll refer to you as they/them, that’s basic decency.

sexuality? mate, we don’t care! say as much or as little as you want. as long as you curate your experience, you’ll be okay.

your name? we remember usernames here. and usernames can be funky as hell. have fun! the weirder they are, the coolest. also please refrain from putting random numbers in there, you’d look like a bot. (we block bots.)

age? depends on what you want to do with your blog. lots of people tell it, i wouldn’t. if you’re nsfw, put up a “minors dni” sign. if you’re a minor, i’d say for the love of fuck, why would you share that? that’s painting yourself as a potential target.

your pfp? man, once again, you can be anonymous. put fanart of your blorbo, your skrunkly, a sunset, whatever. you can keep your face to yourself, and that’s cool. more even, it’s basic internet safety. you don’t want people to know what you look like if you can afford to hide it, trust me.

the point is: you can hide everything. hoard your personal infos like a grumpy goblin, and you’ll be so much happier. tumblr doesn’t need to know. the internet either.

i’ll say this again though: you don’t even have to listen to me. i am a stranger on tumblr. ultimately, it’s your choice.