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Mutual Help | #58
↳ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬; in order for you to pretend to be his girlfriend, he helps you with your sexual desires ⏤ he calls it mutual help
⇢ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: jungkook x reader
⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fake dating au, fluff, angst, smut, slow burn
⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit language, suggestive content
⇢ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 20.1k+
⇠ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯. | 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐱 | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 ⇢
The first issue happens shortly after your shenanigans with Jungkook.
Everything has been dealt with regarding your planned and first official vacation. Accommodation, flight tickets, even some of the activities all of you have agreed on. While you had enough time to dwell back into your working life (Jungkook free to some extent), each day has become closer to the D-day.
You're not going to lie. You're excited to get out of Seoul – as much as you love the city – and experience some fun memories with your friends. With them, you will have the time of your lives. However, all plans come crashing down with a single message from Jimin.
For some reason, his previous planned holiday is canceled by his boss himself. They're low on the employees and there's nothing else that could be done.
“Maybe there will be a last minute change but I don't think that's gonna happen. I think I should cancel my flight tickets while I can.” Is what he said through a message.
Taehyung was the one who took it the worst. To explain it correctly, Taehyung cursed the shit out of Jimin's boss and how devilish it is of him to ruin the holiday. Holiday without Jimin sounds sad and suddenly, none of it seems as exciting as you once thought.
Perhaps the reason behind your sulky mood is the fact that you don't like when something is not going according to plans. Or more like – you're excited about something, already imagining and having a certain vision of things when it suddenly gets ruined. Funnily enough, Jimin is the one who takes it the best. He laughed and joked about it, though he surely does feel a little upset by the sudden changes.
Nobody wants their summer holiday to get taken away, especially when he has to be working instead. Jimin insists all of you should go regardless of his absence when the idea of trying to get another date comes to the surface. Though, that's even trickier when three people have to change their already confirmed and planned holidays. There are your co-workers who have scheduled free days too. To say it shortly – it's not easy at all and would bring more trouble than good.
Even Jungkook who's his own boss has scheduled photoshoots and overall work. He could possibly cancel it, but that would bring no good to his name and business. Plus, he would lose money obviously.
Jimin stays positive and prays that maybe someone from their team will come to the rescue.
It's a little more than two weeks before your planned vacation. You're in the middle of folding your freshly washed and dried clothes while Jungkook's humming can be heard in the background. You video-chat him, giving him advice on what clothes to give away to charity. Something he has been doing for a while now.
Taehyung would tell him to sell everything and Jimin would tell him to give away everything. You, on the contrary, can reason with him. The piece of clothing he hasn't worn for the last year is good to go, because he will probably never wear it again. It's why you help him with that instead of any of the guys.
After that is done, you just casually chat which to be honest, you're glad for. It's not like you haven't done that in a long time, but it feels way more calm than anything you've done for the past few months. It's a nice change compared to your wild thoughts. You just can't bring yourself to dwell on it – because you're going to lose it.
“Oh found this one just now,” Jungkook says, cutting off your thoughts which is probably for the best.
You look at him, his phone propped on his kitchen counter and from the looks of it, you can just imagine the device leaned against his bowl of fruit. He stands with a leather jacket in his arms, showing it off so you could see it better. Little does he know, that article of clothing is not one to be forgotten.
“What do you think?”
“You want to give it away?” you almost gasp, hands on your hips with a mouth agape.
“Why not?”
“Because it's the legendary jacket, you can't just give it away.” you protest, seeing him blink at you a few times before he bursts out into the cutest fit of laughter.
Teeth on display, nose scrunched along with the ends of his eyes, he laughs. “Legendary jacket? What are you even talking about?”
You pout, rolling your eyes at him.
“It's just a regular leather jacket. Everyone's got one of these.”
“That might be true,” you start, Jungkook's eyes wide as he teasingly nods, motioning that he's listening. “But it looks way too good. Plus, you wear it often, right?”
God, you hope he does. Now is not the time to thirst over him and how fucking good he looks in that stupid jacket, but well… that's exactly what's happening right now.
“I haven't worn it in a while, it's too hot for it.”
“See? You will wear it once it's colder. Keep it.”
Jungkook stares at the jacket for a moment, his eyes glinting and watching the screen where you're currently finishing up folding your clothes. With a tiny smirk, he places the jacket to the side and leans against the counter. His forearms rest on it, head cocking to the side.
“I can't believe Jimin is not going with us.” Jungkook admits, mouth curling into a displaying frown which you immediately mirror without even looking at him.
Sitting on the couch with your phone in your hand, you sigh disappointedly. “Don't even mention it. I'm so upset over that. Honestly, what a stupid boss.”
“It happens here a lot though.”
“I know,” you whine, “But still. It ruined our plans and I feel so bad for him. We're gonna have fun and he will have to stay here and work. It won't be a proper vacation without him there. It was supposed to be all of us.”
“Jimin wants us to have fun.” he responds with a soft tone, thinking of the stupid situation himself.
“It's not gonna be it when he's not there.”
“It fucking sucks,” Jungkook sighs. “Maybe he'll be able to join us last minute.”
“I doubt it,” you frown, Jungkook snickering at your pessimistic self as you give him a glare, knowing exactly why he's laughing. “He would have to get his flight tickets at the last minute, plus his accommodation is already canceled. What if the place we'll stay at won't have any free space?”
“There's a couch, he could sleep there.” he shrugs.
“Nah, flight tickets would be a problem. It's vacation season.”
“Or maybe he will be glad to spend some time with his girlfriend.”
You frown, “Not wanting to pull out Taehyung but he's with her almost all the time.”
“And how would you know that?” Jungkook chuckles.
“Well, when he's not working or with us, he's obviously with her.”
Jungkook keeps grinning, not really having any argument because he knows you're right.
“You sound like Taehyung.” he teases.
“Oh fuck off!” You both laugh. “It's true though.”
“It is. Can you blame him?”
“What do you mean?”
“If I had a girlfriend I would wanna be with her too.”
You frown at that again, staring at Jungkook on your screen who seems to shrug innocently. “But Jimin was excited to go to Hawaii.”
“Yes,” he says slowly, “I'm just saying that even if he's not going, he would spend time with his girlfriend and he would enjoy it either way. So no need to be too sad for him. He himself isn't too upset with it.”
“Men,” you sigh, “You all think of pussies.”
“Y/N!” Jungkook almost chokes at your honesty.
“What? Just sayin',” you mutter, “This is important, Kook.”
He chuckles, shaking his head. “I was just trying to make you not feel so bad for him. He will be fine. He's a big boy.”
You snicker, “It's a bummer.”
“I know, but I promise you… we will have a good time. Even if it's just three of us.”
“Yeah, I know that–” you mutter, pouting. “Just will miss Jimin there.”
“Speaking of the devil, he's calling me.” Jungkook says, eyes attached to the top of his screen. “I will just call him after this.”
You cackle.
“What?”
“Nothing, nothing.”
“Come on now,” he groans, “It's impolite to end a call just like that.”
“Just admit you love talking to me.”
He rolls his eyes, laughing as he keeps grinning at the screen. Your own mouth turning upwards as something within your chest tickles. “I do.”
He admits and that something bursts. You freaking look away with a smile, almost too close to giggling loudly like a freaking teenager. You stop yourself, clearing your throat.
“You should've seen your face,” he suddenly bursts out laughing. “What was that? Do I make you flustered, Y/L/N?”
“You wish, Jeon.” you spit jokingly right away, your senses acting automatically.
He suddenly sneezes, loudly and forcingly, your head tilting to the side as he lifts up his gaze, eyes mischievous as a teasing grin makes it onto his face again. “I'm sorry, I'm allergic to your bullshit.”
You gasp loudly, “You piece of shit. I'll get you back for that, Jeon.”
“Yeah, wonder how,” he teases cheekily, “Why's Jimin still calling me? Wait hold on–”
He grabs his phone, tapping something there as you get another angle of his face.
“This angle is funny. Too bad I can't see your double-chin. This could be my payback.” you joke, Jungkook clearly too immersed in reading something to pay you his full attention.
You purse your lips. “Hello? I'm trying to be funny here.”
His eyes widen, your smile dropping.
“Kook?”
“Holy shit,”
“What?”
“Fuck, fuck,” He stands up, almost dropping his phone. “Jimin just texted me–Taehyung is in the hospital.”
“What?!” You yell, standing up abruptly as you clutch the phone in your hands. “Jungkook, talk to me! What happened?”
“I literally don't know!” he exclaims. “Jimin just got the call and tried to reach us.”
“Us? He didn't call me!” you panic, checking your notifications to see them empty. Fuck. You would not forgive yourself if you somehow ignored his messages, even though it wouldn't be entirely your fault.
“Fuck, we need to get there. He's going there right now.”
“Is it serious?” you ask, voice shaking at the thought of Taehyung and something happening to him. He's in a hospital which means it's something serious.
Jungkook stops pacing, hearing the shakiness in your voice. Bringing the phone closer to his face, he watches you. “I'll come get you, alright?”
You nibble on your nails, nodding still staring ahead of you.
“Y/N,” Jungkook calls out to you. “He's gonna be okay, alright?”
“You don't know that.” you scoff.
“We don't know any details, so let's not jump into conclusions, okay? Just wait there, alright? I will drive to your place right now.”
“Where would I go?” you exclaim, clearly stressed which Jungkook doesn't blame you for. Instead of calling you out for your attitude, he knows you're worried and stressed.
“Just don't drive anywhere.”
“I won't.” you promise, voice softening.
“I will call you once I'm there. Don't go outside, it's too late.”
“Jungkook, stop worrying so much.”
He groans, grabbing his keys as the screen keeps glitching here and there how quickly he's moving. “It's too late. Wait inside.”
“Okay, sir.” you mutter dryly, Jungkook stopping just to glare at you.
“Stop messing around. I am not.”
“Jesus, sorry.”
He rolls his eyes. “Keep your pretty ass in your home. I'll call you when I get there.”
“Then get your pretty ass here, Jeon.” you roll your eyes to give back at him.
He sighs, closing his front door with a loud thud. The connection glitches for a second, his internet changing to his mobile data as he waits for the elevator. “Fuck it.” You hear him muttering, running for the stairs.
You keep pacing in your living room, biting off your nails while not having Taehyung beside you to scold you for doing so. Your heart clenches and worry overcomes you once again. It's Jungkook's car door closing that brings your attention back, watching him put his phone into the phone holder.
“Kook?”
“Hm?” he says, putting on his seatbelt as he turns on the engine.
“Drive safely, okay?”
“I will,” he promises, but you keep giving him the same desperate look. “I promise.”
You smile nervously, ending the call just to be met with a spam of messages from Jimin.
Jungkook comes shortly after, just enough for you to check all the lights and gas before you leave. He definitely drove over the speed limit but you don't dare to scold him once he calls you. You spot the familiar Mercedes slowing down the parking lot just as your phone rings. Just like he wanted, you stayed inside. Knowing there's a low chance of something happening to you – considering this neighborhood is pretty much safe and you've walked when it was way later than now – you also know he cares about your safety, so you didn't feel like disobeying his direct orders. Or more like a plea that would end up in a frustrating scolding if you didn't listen to him.
Once you get inside the car, you buckle your seatbelt and Jungkook speeds out of the parking lot, rushing to the hospital where Jimin texted him details.
“Jimin is there.”
“What happened? Did he tell you?”
Jungkook shakes his head, checking on you for a split second before his eyes are back on the road. “No, he's still waiting.”
Luckily, the hospital where Taehyung's at is not that far away and it takes you approximately around fifteen minutes to get there, with all the red lights you had to stop at.
You've never had to go to a hospital here because something happened to one of your friends. To go through this and watch how Jungkook says Taehyung's name at the reception, trying to get any information doesn't sit with you well. You're full of nerves, sticking to Jungkook's side as he handles everything by himself. The nurse questions your relation to Taehyung but luckily, has no problem giving you directions of where to find your friend.
“Couldn't she tell us if he's alive?” you grumble beside Jungkook as he tries to follow her directions from before.
Jungkook chuckles, “If he wasn't, she wouldn't just tell us where to find him.”
Sighing, you follow Jungkook the entire time. “Have you been here before?” you question him in the elevator, a suspicious, curious look glinting in your eyes where worry was found before.
Jungkook gives you a side-glance, sighing before looking ahead. “I have.”
When he doesn't elaborate and is silent, you lean yourself forward to catch his eyes. “When?”
He straightens his posture.
“It's just because you kinda know your way around here.”
You don't remember him mentioning being hospitalized here, nor coming here for examinations. There's a chance you simply don't know about that. There might be things you haven't told each other, it's practically impossible knowing everything about each other. But you feel if it came to this topic, you would know about it.
But you don't.
“I was here with Kiko.”
You halt, a taken back expression taking over your face.
“And because of Kiko.” He adds, clearing his throat at the mention of his ex. Almost as if you would bite off his head just for mentioning her name.
You chuckle at that. “Oh, I didn't know that.”
“Yeah, didn't think of mentioning it before.” he mutters.
“Was she hospitalized here?”
“Do you really wanna know or you're just nosy?” he teases, wiggling his brow at you as you roll your eyes.
“Just answer, Jeon.”
“My curious delicate flower,” he continues to tease, ruffling your hair in the process as you elbow him in the ribs. “She had something with her shoulder once, she went here for rehabilitation.”
“Oh,” you let out slowly. “Was she fine after that?”
Feeling a burn of someone's gaze, you see Jungkook side-eyeing you. “Don't pretend like you care.” he chuckles, shaking his head at you as you smack your lips at him in annoyance.
“I wanna know! Stop making it seem like I'm a heartless monster!”
“I wouldn't dare.” he jokes, continuing to shake his head as you sigh in irritation at your very annoying friend.
“I advise you that.”
He snickers, “Damn, so scary.”
“Jungkook, seriously. I'm gonna kick you in the balls if you're gonna continue this.” you warn him, hearing him laugh as he leans against the elevator's wall.
You glance at him, annoyed expression as his brow cockily lifts up.
“Not the balls, damn, you monster.”
“Keep talking and you'll see the real monster.” you mutter, your bickering interrupted by the elevator's ring, informing you of your floor.
Walking out of there, all the fun disappears as soon as you see and smell the sterile surroundings again, along with sick patients of all sorts which truly breaks your heart. You understand why someone hates hospitals so much. You never truly belong to that people, never really had that awful experience. Everyone you lost in the family had left at their peaceful homes. You never had to say goodbye to anyone here.
Although, you do remember visiting your father's mother – your dear grandmother – when you were a kid. Unfortunately, she passed away when you were around six. The only thing that bothers you to this day is that you don't have many memories with her. Since you were a little kid, you only remember very little. Plus, there are days when you wished she was still here. To talk about the craziness you've experienced in both families. To help her and show her your gratitude for raising your dad and his four siblings, when she was all alone. She was truly an inspiration for you.
Your dad says you get a lot from her. You'll never forget a conversation you had with him about her.
“You remind me of her sometimes. She had a good heart like you have.”
That's what he told you when you were around eighteen. Your dad is not a sentimental person. He doesn't usually say many heart-warming things, so to hear him saying that just made you emotional. Thinking of it now, it still does in a way.
“Sorry, we are here looking for our friend? They told us at the reception he's on this floor. Kim Taehyung?” Jungkook stops one of the nurses, surprisingly stopping a male who kindly shows you the way to see your friend.
Jungkook looks behind, making sure you're there as he gives you an encouraging smile. You wonder if he's scared as fuck of what you're about to see as well. Is he pretending to be brave and having his shit together because of you? Are you preaching?
Jungkook is the most caring friend. You don't believe he's not worried as much as you are.
“Ready?” he asks, tilting his head toward the direction the nurse sent you.
Naturally, like your body calls for his proximity and safety, you wrap your arms around his forearm, clutching to his side as you give him a nod. He leads you to one of the rooms, both of you cautiously peeking inside as the scene in front of you makes you both gasp loudly, catching everyone's attention in the room.
There he is.
If someone told you you will see Kim Taehyung laying in a hospital bed, you would laugh him off for some reason. All of you would. So to not only see him lying there but having a huge cast on his leg, his face pale and hair unkempt, you and Jungkook gulp at the sight.
Jimin stands there, arms crossed over his chest as his hands rub his lips nervously. A woman stands next to him, a little behind him, noticing your and Jungkook's presence immediately.
That has to be her.
But before any of you can pay her attention, Taehyung steals it without even knowing as he groans.
“What the hell happened?” You almost shriek as a panicked mother, tearing yourself off Jungkook's side as you rush to Taehyung's side, Jungkook following you right after.
Both of you having a concerned look, Taehyung takes a minute to recognize you. You make a grimace, you and Jungkook giving Jimin a stare as he goes to say something, but he's interrupted by the patient himself.
“You guys are here?” He looks shocked, making sure it's really you as he squints his eyes at you both.
“Of course we are–what happened, Tae?”
“Ah, don't even ask! That shit is so fucking embarrassing!” he dramatically sighs, slapping his palm over his forehead as he disappointedly shakes his head at himself.
“Can he just tells us what the fuck happened to him?” Jungkook mutters under his breath, causing you to elbow him like before.
Jimin clears his throat, “He was at the gym and accidentally dropped one of the dumbbells on his feet.”
“Jimin-ah!”
“Man they asked!” Jimin exclaims, trying to keep calm.
“You guys came here because of me?” Taehyung pouts, changing the topic as you and Jungkook stare at him completely dumbfounded. What is wrong with him?
“Of course we did,” you assure him. “We would be here sooner, but Jimin had to call us. Why didn't you call us too?” you frown.
“Actually, the nurse called me. Taehyung gave them my number.”
“Well, that's great.” you mutter.
“Well, I'm sorry!” Taehyung mocks you, slapping his arms against the fluffy duvet he has thrown over one side of his body. “How could I know if you guys are not fucking somewhere behind our backs?”
“We don't do that!” Jungkook reacts.
The room is filled with craziness.
Jimin sighs, deadpanning at his friend. You and Jungkook loudly gasp, your hand over your fast beating heart.
The room is silent after that, Jimin's eyes directed somewhere behind you and Jungkook. You both turn around to see a nurse coming in, an awkward smile attached on her lips as she holds the clipboard with her.
“We had to give him some painkillers, he was close to crushing his toes. He's a little drugged by now.” she informs you, perhaps trying to make you less embarrassed because of your friend.
“I will come back and fill you with more information.” She sets up the clipboard on his bed, everyone bowing to her as she reciprocates it before walking away.
“Ignore him, he's drugged.” Jimin apologizes to the female beside him, her eyes eyeing you and Jungkook as you shift on your spot.
“Yeah, he's just babbling nonsense.”
Taehyung scoffs, luckily keeping his mouth shut about this topic. “Yeah, by the way guys, Jimin brought his girlfriend. They were on a date when his friend was dying.”
“You weren't dying, Taehyung.” Jimin corrects him, giving him a stern look as the younger friend puts his lips into a thin line, frowning. “Ah, guys. This is Rin. Wanted to introduce you to her under different circumstances but well, babe–”
Taehyung gags in the distance. “Knowing you, you would've kept her secret for another year.”
“This is Y/N and Jungkook. My friends.” Jimin grits through his teeth, giving a forced smile to his blonde girl.
“It's nice to meet you. Jimin talked about you a lot.”
“Really? Because he really didn't–”
You kick Taehyung's mattress, ignoring his nasty glare as you both bow at each other.
“Nice meeting you too, Rin. Welcome to the craziness.” Jungkook chuckles, “Jimin is a great guy. Hope this didn't traumatize you.”
She giggles, Jimin laughing nervously while you watch Taehyung who sulks in his spot. “No. It didn't.” she assures Jimin as she cuddles up to him.
“Tae, how are you feeling?” you ask, focusing your attention on your sulking friend.
You sit on the edge of his bed, brushing a few strands off his hair.
“Embarassed and like a fucking idiot,” he mutters. “I got so much attention at the gym. Fuck, I am used to attention but not that kind.”
“The most important thing is that you are okay, Taehyung.” Jungkook butts in, trying to sound gentle as he eyes his friend's new cast.
Taehyung scoffs, “Does this seem fine to you?”
“I meant it that you're alive. You'll have this cast for a few months but you will be fine. You're lucky nothing worse happened to you.” Jungkook explains.
“Fuck, I feel high,” he sighs, dropping his head on the pillow as he stares at the ceiling. He gulps, whining. “What about Hawaii? Fucking hell. I can't go.”
The realization hits all of you, yours and Jungkook's eyes meeting as you pout.
“We can go next year.” Jungkook tries but you know it will only do so little.
“We will cancel it too. There's no point in going when both of you don't go.” you tell him, Taehyung frowning as Jimin gives you an empathic smile.
“No, you guys have to go.” Taehyung says, your eyes lifting up in surprise. But before you can say something, mouth already opening, he continues. “Everything's paid for. Jimin barely got the money back for flight tickets, I don't think I will get mine. It's too close to date.”
“Tae is right,” Jimin agrees, “You can still enjoy it without us.”
“I would hate myself if you didn't go there because of my clumsiness,” Taehyung admits, frowning. “Y/N you were so excited to see Hawaii.”
You stare, pouting as your eyes get teary for some reason. The entire situation is shitty as fuck and Taehyung's pale face is not helping.
“You have to go.”
“I'm sure accommodation can be arranged just for the two of you. It's worth a shot.” Jimin says.
“We could try but I don't know…” Jungkook groans, sighing in disappointment at the fucked up situation. “We'll talk about it later. You're more important now, Tae. What can we do for you?”
You nod, listening to Taehyung who sighs, cracking his neck. “I would die for McDonald's right now.”
Snorting, you shake your head at your friend.
“You shouldn't eat right now, Tae. You have a good amount of meds inside you. It would probably make you sick.” Jimin reminds him.
“We should just wait for the nurse to give us more information. Then we can figure it out from there.” you say, Jimin and Jungkook nodding in agreement.
“This fucking sucks.”
You make yourself comfortable on Taehyung's current bed, humming. “Tell me something about it.”
A few minutes later, a male in his mid-thirties (you're guessing) comes in. Wearing a white coat, you almost forgot how handsome some doctors can look, he eyes everyone in the room – mostly surprised to see so many people but then none of you are family members. He does question it but doesn't send you away.
“...fortunately, Mr. Kim, your accident hasn't permanently damaged any of your nerves or bones. You'll have to wear a cast for a couple of weeks until it's healed, and after that you will need to be careful. But we'll take it from there and discuss further recovery steps.”
Taehyung looks like he's five seconds from dozing off or as if he could care less, you're trying to hold back your laugh while Jimin and Jungkook are the responsible ones. They keep nodding and looking seriously at the doctor using terms you've never heard before. You're sure none of them have and the fact they act like they do makes you want to laugh. Rin stays behind, sitting on the chair next to a window. You get a feeling she might feel not unwelcomed, but definitely out of her comfort zone.
She sees four friends sticking together, three of them that she hasn't seen before. Honestly, it's not weird to see a woman next to Jimin. It is weird to see the affection they have going on, even though so far it has been pretty low-key.
As the doctor finishes and informs Taehyung he's able to go home after they run some tests on him, he gives you a shortly lasting look. You smile, looking away in shyness as you're met with Jungkook's side-eyed frown. He has done that a lot today, you think.
You just innocently shrug, both of your attentions turned to Taehyung who starts to complain all over again.
“You guys should go. You were on a date, right? Me and Kook will take care of him.” you tell Jimin, feeling bad not because they had to cut off their date, but you feel bad toward Rin.
She probably wants to be with her boyfriend, it has probably been too many events for her tonight. You could sympathize with her and imagine what it feels like for her. Besides, there are three of you here. There's no need for all of you to be here. Taehyung will be fine.
Someone just has to wait with him for more tests and results, so he's really safe to go home. Plus, he needs to be driven home as his ride here was an ambulance – something he's still complaining about how awkward it was when it arrived in front of the gym.
“Yeah, go. They will take care of me.” Taehyung mutters like the child he can be, met with yet another glare from you.
Jungkook tries not to laugh while Jimin frowns. “No. We could wait here and drive him to my place.” Jimin argues, turning to Rin. “You don't mind, right?”
“Fucking hell,” Taehyung whispers under his breath. “Why are you asking her? Just go and have your date.” He rolls his eyes at Jimin who clenches his jaw.
“I don't mind.” Rin tells him silently, assuring him.
“Somebody's gonna have to take care of your ass, Taehyung-ah. You can't be alone at home right now.”
“I'm not a child.”
“Sometimes you act like it.”
“Okay,” you butt in, standing up. “It's too late to be arguing in a freaking hospital. So get it together, both of you–” You're met with a glare from both of them. “Jimin wants to be here for you, so don't be childish Taehyung. They can have a date another time.”
“What she means to say is–” Jungkook starts, standing behind you. “We're all willing to stay here and help.”
Jimin and Rin have a silent conversation as Taehyung purses his lips and closes his eyes, ignoring his surroundings. Deep down, you know he wants Jimin to be here for him. He's just childish because Jimin is dating now and even though Rin doesn't seem to be a bad girl, it's different now. Suddenly, there's another person in his life and in their friendship as well. It awfully reminds you of the situation you had with Jungkook.
It's still slightly different but similar in many ways. You know how Taehyung feels. The difference is that Taehyung also knows shit about relationships. He can't understand why Jimin, the guy who used to fuck purely for fun and enjoyment, is now dating someone.
“Guys, could you drop off Rin at her house? She lives nearby, so it's not too far away.”
“Yeah, sure. No problem.” Jungkook responds.
“Come on, it's late. We should all go to sleep. They can handle it from there,” you say, motioning for Rin to join you. “Don't worry, we're friendly and don't bite.”
She laughs, some of her nervosity dropping.
“Yeah, they're too into each other to care about anyone else.” Taehyung comments.
“Y'know what Taehyung? If you don't want your other leg in a cast, you better shut up.” you warn him, feeling Jungkook's hand on your lower back as he shakes his head, silently telling you it's not worth it as an amused smile plays on his lips.
“Which one?” Taehyung asks cheekily, having the time of his life when he watches your realization into disgust.
“Jesus, man. You should sleep it off.”
“That's not gonna help. This is Taehyung we're talking about.” you murmur to Jungkook.
Taehyung is about to say another nonsense, stopped by Jimin's palm as he gives him a warning stare before he walks up to you and Jungkook.
“Guys, please do not interrogate her. Okay?” Jimin pleas, sounding nervous as you and Jungkook share a knowing look. “No, please. Don't look at each other like that.”
Little does he know it wasn't because of what he thinks it is, that you will go against his wishes, but it's the cuteness of how he doesn't want to ruin anything between them. You've never had a chance to see him like this.
“Don't worry, we're gonna be on our best behavior.” Jungkook jokes, causing Jimin to whine but there's no time to have such a silly conversation.
Jimin turns to Rin, telling her something before they share a kiss. You're ready to squeal at the cuteness as Jungkook tries not to laugh at you, cheekily poking you in your side while Taehyung looks grumpy.
“I'll text you and see you tomorrow, okay?” You hear Jimin say just as you bid goodbye to Taehyung, who's already too sleepy.
Jungkook pats the top of his head before you leave Jimin with him and part your ways. But not before you hear Jimin's silent scolding. “You see? This is exactly why I didn't want to–”
You and Jungkook try not to laugh on your way out of the room, sharing a look in the hallway as Rin silently follows you, probably wondering who the hell has she just met.
“She's quiet.”
You break a silence by stating something both of you are thinking. Rin is not exactly communicative, kept it very casual and both, you and Jungkook, could get the hint of her not wanting to really talk.
“She might've felt bad because of Taehyung.” Jungkook responds, a thoughtful frown making it on his face as he drives you through familiar streets that lead toward your home.
During the slightly awkward drive to Rin's place, Jungkook tried to excuse Taehyung's behavior, thinking it's the main reason for Rin's distant behavior. It's not like she wasn't friendly or has done something out of place. She was just… quiet. She kept it simple, not engaging in any further topics. And regarding Taehyung, she just said it's okay and that was it.
It was certainly none of you have expected. You tried to make the atmosphere lighter, forcing chuckles and grins for her own sake but she just didn't seem to care. You're not going to lie, that stung a little and you had to grit your teeth to prevent yourself from really asking her – What's up?
But then you realize, you have no idea how she's feeling. She met all three of you in the span of one hour and with Taehyung's insanity and even bolder mouth than ever, it has been a lot for her probably.
It's not like the three of you are too much to handle, right?
“You think so?”
Jungkook chuckles at your question, “Tae took it too far. Anyone would've felt uncomfortable.”
“Come on, he's on drugs–” you scoff out a chuckle as if that excuses him. “He wasn't fully himself.”
“He was pretty much Taehyung, what are you sayin'?” Jungkook laughs.
You smack your lips together, a laugh escaping past them as you gently nudge his arm. “You know what I mean–he would've behaved slightly differently if he wasn't in that state.”
“Hm, that could be true,” he mutters, driving with one hand as the other rubs his lips thoughtfully. “Maybe she's just shy, would explain a lot.”
“Maybe,” you hum, “Can you believe it though? Our Jimin has a girlfriend. Who would've thought?”
“Not me,” Jungkook jokes, quoting one of the famous sounds on TikTok which causes both of you to break into laughter. “I hope she's not terrified of us–or Tae.”
“There's nothing to be terrified of when it comes to us!” you exclaim, giggling when you see Jungkook's grimace of pursed lips and raised brows. “I don't know. I thought it would go differently when we would finally meet her. Not like this.”
“None of us expected it,” Jungkook says, “But it doesn't matter. All that matters is that Taehyung is okay.”
“Oh god, he's gonna be such a drama queen once they release him. A cast on his leg?”
Jungkook laughs, knowing exactly what you mean when it comes to Taehyung. “He's gotta get used to it. At least for a while.”
While a short silence follows, one thought is rooted inside your mind which causes you to nibble on your lips. “Kook,”
“Hm?”
“This means we're going alone to Hawaii?”
Jungkook sighs, thinking through his answer as you watch the side of his face and how street's signs and lights illuminate his features. “If you want to.”
He stops at the red light, a few cars stopping behind you as you stare out of the window to avoid his stare once he glances at you. You see him in the reflection. His eyes momentarily watch your form, perhaps trying to decipher what you're thinking before he looks back ahead, staring at the road instead.
“This is not how it was meant to be.” you mutter.
For some odd reason, you feel bad for even saying it. It almost sounds like you don't want to go with Jungkook. It's not that at all. Sure, the thought scares the fuck out of you – but Jimin and Taehyung were supposed to be there. All four of you. Making new memories and doing something new, something precious for your just as precious friendship.
“We don't have to go. We could try next year.”
“No,” you shake your head, “Everything's paid for. It was already trouble enough to deal with Jimin's reservations and now it's the same with Taehyung.”
“Listen,” Jungkook sighs, the engine roaring back to life as the red light changes to orange. By the time it's green, Jungkook puts the car into drive and speeds through the main road. “I know it's not ideal, but I don't want you to go if you don't feel like it.”
“It's not ideal but–” you stop yourself, groaning at your stupid way of explaining your feelings. “I made it sound as if I didn't wanna go with you…” you trail off, somehow starting to feel nervous which is stupid.
Jungkook stays silent. You're not sure if it's because he wants to listen to you or because he silently agrees. You did make it sound like that.
“I just–would it be wise?”
“Wise?” Jungkook frowns.
“Well–just the two of us.”
Jungkook stares ahead before he throws you a quick glance. It takes approximately five seconds for him to release a chuckle as he shakes his head while you're the one who stares in confusion now.
“So that's what you're nervous about?”
You roll your eyes, not being able to say anything. It's partly why you're so unsure about this. The last time you and Jungkook stayed alone… things happened. And while you would like to believe you're strong willed, there's a part of you that fears the exact opposite.
It's insane how Jungkook gets it without you actually having to say anything.
“What? You can't keep it in your pants, Y/L/N?”
It's the cocky tone that makes your mouth drop open, but that single sentence is enough to make you stutter and you literally fight to get proper words out. “You're the one bringing that up!”
But Jungkook laughs, completely ignoring your evident attempt of trying to argue with his statement.
“I didn't even think about that.”
“Mhm, mhm.”
He bursts out laughing, ignoring the way you glaring at his side with a huffy face. “What else did you mean then?”
“None of your business, Jeon.” you mutter, arms crossed over your chest as you fight back a smile when you hear his bubbly laugh next to you.
“Oh, we're back to Jeon?”
“You're the first one that started with surnames,” you point out, giving him a playful roll of your eyes before you sigh and relax in the seat. “I just meant… maybe it's stupid but–we all know how it ended the last time. This is a vacation, Jungkook. We're gonna be miles and miles away. It sounds–”
“Couple-y?” He finishes your thought. He shakes his head with a gentle smile. “It sounds like fun to me. I'm still me, Y/N.” It's the way his last sentence sounds so gentle and vulnerable that it makes you feel like an idiot for even bringing it up.
He's still the same Jungkook you've known for years. With or without intimacy.
You just had to talk about Hawaii one way or another.
“Yeah–I know it sounds like that but I don't overthink it that much. I just meant–fuck, I guess it's a big change from our plans and just us going is…”
“You're scared.” he says, pointing out the obvious that makes you dryly swallow.
You mentally groan and slap yourself. “How am I supposed to enjoy it when you will be right there?”
���Ouch.”
“No, not like that!” you correct yourself, groaning loudly this time. “You'll be a distraction.”
Jungkook laughs at that, “Distraction?”
“Yes!” you exclaim, growing frustrated but mainly from yourself and the fact you're talking about this. It makes you slightly embarrassed but at the same time it's a relief that you can talk about this so openly with him. “With Jimin and Taehyung there–”
“I can keep it in my pants,” he informs you of something you've heard many times before. “The question is–”
You inhale shakily.
“Can you?”
You stare ahead, eyes wide and mouth agape, tongue softly grazing your teeth.
Well–fuck.
“Listen, just let me know how you decided.”
Jungkook says with a window opened as you stand next to the driver's side, shifting on your spot nervously. You haven't talked much after that. There was not much time since Jungkook drove here in five minutes.
“I'm stupid for saying shit like that.”
Jungkook frowns, “Hey, you're not stupid. You're unsure and feel bad for the guys.”
It's not even about the temptation and the stupid break you came up with. It's the entire change of plans you've mentioned to him as well. You made it sound as if it was all about the two of you, but the truth is it feels bad to go there without Taehyung and Jimin.
And that's exactly what you tell Jungkook as you confess your once said thoughts. This time you're more serious.
“You heard them. They want us to go either way. Even when we don't think about the money and how's everything already paid for–you were excited to go there,”
He slides his hand off the steering wheel and places it on his lap instead.
“We're going there to enjoy our vacation. It might not be as we planned it, but we could still have fun. And deep down, I know you really wanna go there.”
“I do,” you admit after a while. When you think about it, this is your opportunity to go. Although, going there alone with him makes you awfully nervous. It's like a huge test for the two of you, one you're not ready for. “You know the last time when we were alone–”
“Mhm,” he says, prompting you to continue.
“I don't wanna make it seem as if that's all I'm thinking about, or that's how I see you but I guess–”
God why is it so hard to put any words out?
“I know,” Jungkook says gently, seeing you struggling a little to properly explain the crazy train of your thoughts. “You wanted us to focus on our friendship. I know, Y/N.”
He's so gentle that you almost want to cry out and have him hug you. You're in a desperate need of a hug. But it's too late and you both had a long day.
“You sure you don't wanna go upstairs?”
Jungkook smirks and you groan. “Not like that, Jeon.”
“I feel like I'm gonna pass out the second I take a shower and lay in my bed,” he jokes instead, “You should go inside, it's getting colder.”
You bite the inside of your cheek as you stare at your surroundings. “I wanna go, Kook.”
Jungkook turns his head to look at you, immediately realizing what you're talking about. He doesn't say it but the question in his eyes is clear. You sure?
“Yeah, I made a big deal out of it,” You sigh. “But I really wanna go with you. It would be stupid for us not to go.”
“Okay, then. I'll have to make some calls because of Taehyung, hopefully he will be able to get his money back. At least for the accommodation. If you change your mind, just let me know.”
“I won't,” you assure him with a smile, “And Kook?”
“Yes?”
“It's stupid but… I don't think I've ever felt nervous about you before. The last time was when we first met. Or the first time we started hanging out.”
“I made you nervous?” He laughs.
“Mostly everyone makes me nervous when I first meet them,” you scowl at him as you explain. “We barely hung out after we–took a break or whatever we wanna call it.”
Jungkook snorts at the way you roll your eyes when you say it.
“I make you nervous. I don't know how to deal with this information.”
“Jeon,” you grit through your teeth, “It's not you. It's more… the situation and all.”
He grins, biting his lower lip before he releases it and stares at the distant street lights. “There's no need to be nervous. No kissing. No sex. We're on a sex ban. Just two best friends in Hawaii.”
You groan his name and at the way he says it with an utmost grin. This man is not serious.
“That's not what I truly meant but–you know what? Nevermind. Let's just end it here.”
Jungkook doesn't press any further, simply opting for a gentle grin and change of topic. “Goodnight, Y/N.”
You catch yourself wishing he would say something else instead of your name.
And that's your cue to turn around before silently wishing him a goodnight, telling him to drive safe and send you a message once he's home. Perhaps it's for the better that he stayed in his car.
He waits until you're inside of the building before he drives out of the parking lot, his silver car slowly fading out until it fully disappears. What doesn't disappear are the mixed and crazed feelings that make you question every single thing that has been said.
One thing you know for sure.
This vacation will be one hell of a ride.
One, you can't prepare yourself for. One, you're close to shitting your pants for.
Rolling your suitcase down the sidewalk, Jungkook offers to take it but you decline. He has his own suitcase and full hands, therefore all he receives is just an appreciative smile as you enter the airport.
Namjoon was kind enough to take you and since your flight is early in the morning, he had the time to drive you here.
Sorting out your luggage and going through the security doesn't take too long and before you know it, you're seated in the airplane fighting for a window seat with Jungkook. He lets you have it, of course and slumps into the seat next to you. With a happy and slightly annoying smile, you make sure he sees it as he playfully rolls his eyes.
Since there are still passengers sitting and putting away their luggage, you do have a little time before taking off. You take that time to quickly video chat with Jimin and Taehyung. While Jimin's preparing for his work, Taehyung curses you out for waking him up. Though, there's a tiny smile that tells you that it's okay to go without them and enjoy it to the fullest.
You share your earphones with Jungkook, so he can hear them too.
“You guys–” Taehyung sighs, eyes slightly swollen with tiredness. “This sucks but enjoy it, alright? And send me pictures.”
“We will.”
“Yeah, Kook took his camera with him.”
“You and your camera,” Taehyung jokingly shakes his head. “I could've had such nice pictures.”
“You have… lots of them actually,” Jungkook snickers, “We will take some next time.”
“Be safe guys, I gotta run to work but text us when you land.” Jimin says, his screen blurry as he keeps moving.
“Will do.” you assure them. “I'm sorry you guys couldn't come.”
“Stop,” Taehyung cuts you off, giving you a grin that feels oddly comforting. “Have the biggest fucking fun. I'm stuck in bed, so maybe I will annoy you with my phone calls.”
“Great.” Jungkook mutters, causing you to nudge him as the four of you laugh.
“We're about to take off. I will call you, Tae. Don't worry.”
“I am not. What I worry about though, is the amount of times I could've gotten laid. Now I'm stuck here with this fucking cast on.”
“Dude, chill out.” Jimin laughs.
So do you and Jungkook. Shortly after you all end the call, you and Jungkook snickering between each other at Taehyung's biggest issue.
While the pilot welcomes everyone on board and informs them of the destination and other important information, you make yourself comfortable in your seat as you place your head on Jungkook's shoulder.
Jungkook looks down at you, smiling as you catch his glance. “Ready?”
“Is there anything left for me other than to be ready?”
“Well, you could chicken out. The plane is not in the air yet.”
You smack his side, sitting up straight as you're met with the familiar sight of his stretched smile and white pearls. “Dumbass.”
“Love you too.”
You look away, making sure he sees the roll of your eyes before doing so. Though a small smile plays on your lips and as you take off, plane soon in the clouds, you use Jungkook as the softest and best smelling pillow.
The adrenaline and excitement of what's awaiting for you does not allow you to sleep. Yet you don't move an inch, finding comfort in the man sitting beside you. And when you ask him to play with your hair, he does it without any questions.
“Oh my god.”
Is the first thing you let out as soon as you get out of the airport and see the beauty around you. The weather is not too hot for you to not have any sunglasses or hat on. You shield your eyes with a palm outstretched above them, stopping in the tracks as Jungkook tries to get a taxi.
“Beautiful, isn't it?” Jungkook says once he locks his phone and puts it into the pocket of his shorts. “The place we are staying at is even more beautiful.”
Jungkook has managed to make a compromise with the owner of the place you're staying at during the next seven days. Since it would be for the best if Jimin and Taehyung got their money back, they made a deal on swapping apartments. This way the owner could still make a profit while complying with you.
That alone made you a little bit calm because so far, everything is going well and smoothly.
“Our car should be here in five.” Jungkook informs you and ushers you to go in a shadow.
You obey, feeling already as if you're melting.
“What's our plan for today?”
You haven't really slept during the flight. Jungkook has booked a business class, something you've scolded him for because that's definitely something you haven't paid for when you sent him the money for your flight ticket. There was no need for that eight hour flight, but you both definitely made a good use of it. You turned on a movie and made yourself comfortable while eating snacks. Who knew having a drink on a plane can be actually so relaxing and fun at the same time?
You sit on your suitcase, squinting your eyes at Jungkook who pulls a cap from his suitcase and puts it on your head.
“We're gonna settle in and maybe we could check the outside?”
“Sounds good.”
The car comes around the time Jungkook said it would, an older man with a straw hat on welcomes you and helps you with your things. You both thank him and get inside – luckily – with an air condition on.
While he drives and gives you a quick tour of the road you're driving on, he answers any curious and informative questions Jungkook asks him. You sit silently, smiling at the man whenever he jokes around as you stare out of the window, appreciating the nature around you.
And at that moment you think;
It's a good thing you decided to go.
You've seen the photos of where you were supposed to be staying. All four of you. But since that has changed and the two of you couldn't go, there had to be some changes made. Jungkook informed you about that, so that's no news to you. It would be no use for you and him to share a place designed for four and more people.
Surrounded by nature and sea air, there's a whole street of houses. It's so close to the sea that you can hear the waves in the distance and smell the salted water. Surely, the location and vacation houses are one of the wealthiest ones, and you just can't seem to pry your eyes at what's around you.
You let Jungkook handle everything, after you've grabbed your luggage and bid goodbye to the driver. He talks to the owner, or the person who is in charge of the vacation house you'll be staying at. Shortly after, Jungkook is given keys and after waving off one last person, you finally get out of the sun and get inside.
The first thing you notice is the chilly air hitting your heated bodies, the two of you sighing in delight before you both laugh.
“AC is gonna be our best friend here.” you comment, squinting your eyes as they adjust to the lack of sun.
“Just don't overboost it, yeah? Or else you're gonna end up sick.”
You turn to Jungkook with raised brows, who simply just shrugs as he sets the luggage down.
“Says the person who always has his AC turned on in the car.” you point out the obvious fact you both know.
“My immune system is much better than yours.” he points out back, showing you the tip of his tongue in a teasing manner as you shake your head, trying to hide a smile.
Bickering with someone who knows you well – or best even – is tough.
Now that's done and the two of you don't elaborate to bicker any further, you take the time to look around. The place you've seen from pictures looked different, customized for more people. This house is just as spacious and even though you're standing in the entryway, you can easily tell more people would be able to fit in here.
“Are you sure we're at the right place?” you ask, catching Jungkook sweeping his hair off his forehead with head leaned back. Mentally sighing at the painfully attractive sight, you turn around and admire the place you're in instead.
That's a safer choice anyway.
“It's beautiful, isn't it?” he asks instead, confirming that yes, you're at the right place. “Come on, let's see how it looks in person. The pictures were pretty great.”
You wonder why Jungkook hasn't shared them with you once he was able to switch houses. For sure, you haven't had that much time to talk about it. Everyone was busy with their jobs, you included, and then the accident with Taehyung happened which caused this entire planning to get rushed. Poor Jungkook took care of everything – but you know he's the best at it.
When your mouth drops as you make it to the living room, you notice Jungkook grinning at the side of the entrance to the living room since there is no door. He wanted it to be a surprise.
One that appears to be more than successful.
“Kook–” you stop yourself. The entire side facing the sea is a window wall, giving the best view to the beach and sea.
The floor is a darker wood, giving the room just the right balance of colors since there are a lot of light colors. The white couch is huge, in the shape of U, similar to what Jungkook owns at his place. There is a big beige carpet underneath the coffee table and couch, making it more cozy. A beautiful chandelier hangs down with transparent bulbs which is undoubtedly even more pretty at night.
From up here, there's a porch with a pool and your legs itch to find out how big it is.
It's a one floor beach house, a modern yet cozy one as Jungkook leads you to the right to show you the kitchen. It's a medium sized, smaller than the one he's got and you wonder why it's even here considering you'll get your food brought from the resort.
The house ends from the left sounds but you move to the opposite side, jaw dropping at the beautiful bedroom. First of all, the interior is beyond any words and leaves you breathless. You've never seen something so beautiful in person. You could cry. And Jungkook's joyful grin is not helping at all.
The bed is not against any walls. It sits almost in the middle of the room. There's a panel behind it and further away, it leads you to a spacious bathroom. There are two sinks and a huge mirror – the room matched in turquoise and white colors.
“Jungkook–this is–how much did you spend on this?” you ask, turning to him with a hand on your hip with a frown. “This was definitely much more than you said.”
“Don't worry about it.”
“Jungkook, stop. I'm serious.”
“So am I,” he shrugs, sighing slightly. “I paid a little extra but it wasn't much.”
“I don't believe you.” You narrow your eyes at him as he cheekily grins and shrugs.
“Sounds like a you problem.”
“Jungkook!”
However, your scolding is cut off by him simply walking away. The bed is facing the beach, the same view as you could see in the living room. Palms surround the house which create a little shade from the burning sun.
There are dressers where you could store your clothes and stuff, but you don't pay any more attention to it as you follow Jungkook back to the entryway with a frown settled on your face.
“Jungkook, I'm serious.”
“And so am I, Y/N,” he says simply, dragging your luggage to the living room. “I swear I didn't pay much. The owner wouldn't really have any other place for us. I wanted you to see this beach.”
You raise your brows at him, trying not to crack at the warm and sweet gesture.
“Plus I didn't want to stay anywhere else. So be mad at me all you want, but I'm happy to be here and from the looks of it, so are you.”
“Yes, but–”
“No, buts. Now get ready, we're leaving in twenty.”
You stammer over your words, mustering to ask only one word. “Where?”
“Out. Unless you wanna stay in and rest.”
He says, stopping as he turns around to look at you with raised brow, waiting for your response.
“Ah–no, I am fine with going out.”
“Good.”
And he leaves to the bedroom, “Oh–I hope you don't mind the one bedroom. They didn't have any houses with more rooms left. But I can sleep on the couch.” he calls out from there.
When you don't respond right away, his head pokes out of the corner with a awaiting gaze.
“Why would I mind?” you breathe out, feeling like you just got awestruck.
“Uhh–you want me to elaborate?”
You chuckle nervously, scratching your forearm before you shake yourself out of it and drop the expression. “Yah! You wanted to go out! So go get ready too!”
“Yes, m'am.” he salutes and disappears behind the wall of the bedroom.
You stand there, sighing to yourself and at your fast beating heart.
He's not going to make this easy, is he?
Happiness oozes out of you and as much as you were unsure about this vacation, you're glad the guys managed to talk you out of backing off. In the end, it was your decision to go without Jimin and Taehyung who are very much missed. Though, you're completely obvious to the fact it's going to be challenging.
The heat and raging hormones are not making it any easier for you.
You can control yourself. You can do that as long as there's no impulse from the other side.
This vacation might've not started like you planned, but it started wonderfully without your friends here. It's also a great chance of getting your friendship back where it was. While you're sure the history between you will always be there and it will never go away, you can try to go back and not get pushed to do something silly due to any sort of temptation.
Because that's what Jeon Jungkook is.
Having him right here, next to you while you explore the Island is a great challenge itself. At first, you don't pay any attention to the mentioned temptation. You're fine. You talk, you joke and have a great time exploring the Island. You go out and eat in one of the restaurants, you have the best ice cream that is like the greatest present for your heated bodies. Taehyung and Jimin facetime with you during it, which ultimately makes you miss them more – especially when you show them around and see their pouty faces.
After that, you visit a few local shops – promising each other that you will come back and shop some souvenirs not just for you two but for your friends as well. The heat is too much to spend the rest of the day in a direct sun with no refreshments. And you didn't come here to just stay inside, so you both decide to go to the beach.
You do want to get the best of it since you're about to get your period in the halfway of this vacation. The timing sucks but you won't let it ruin anything.
Quickly going back to the house to change and pack things, you use the close proximity to the sea and settle on the beach there. You decide to walk a little further, closer to people and other tourists where different bars occur. There will be time to enjoy that privacy later.
Although, being left with him alone is all the things you're scared of.
Just focus on you, and your friendship.
“Is here okay?” Jungkook asks, stopping a few meters from the sea.
Looking around, it's a good spot. You're not completely surrounded by the tourists, more to the side where you can enjoy the shade and sun at the same time. There are faint sounds of music coming from the nearby bars, squeals of people's excitement and chatters around you. Beach waves are like a lullaby to your ears, confirming the reality of your presence here.
There are kids as well, not too many but you spot a few in the distance as they beg their parents to go to the water already.
“It's perfect.” Is all it takes for Jungkook to drop the beach blankets down. You help him to get it in the right place, making sure the wind doesn't mess it up.
Air here is far better and you can't wait to get into the water to freshen up.
“I'm gonna get us some drinks.” Jungkook announces once you settle in, pulling out a straw hat he bought while you were visiting different shops. It's the only thing he had to buy.
At first you weren't sure why, it's not exactly his style and you're sure he packed one of his caps. But then, he just puts it on you and shields the top of your head. You lean your head back to give him a look.
“You don't wanna get a heat stroke.” he shrugs, hands on his hips as he stares down at you.
See, it's very hard to keep it casual and think of Jungkook being an annoying friend. While you fully appreciate his caring, it's hard to focus in general. He has a stupid excuse of a button-up, so thin all his tattoos can be seen through the seen through material. It's not even the tattoos itself.
He has it completely unbuttoned, showing off his pecs and abs as the thin material barely covers any of his skin. Jungkook has always been handsome, but you also never had to see your friend like… this.
Iceland would've been a better option than Hawaii.
So far though, you've been strong – even though it doesn't seem like it. While you're completely obvious to Jungkook's body and additional sight of his skin, you just don't allow your eyes to drop there. You keep them solely on Jungkook's face, hoping he doesn't see the inner turmoil you're going through.
“What are you? My dad?” you ask instead, poking the front of the straw hat with a lifted brow.
Jungkook grins, “Don't want you to get sick on our first day.”
“You forgot to put sunscreen on me. And bring a swim wheel.” you comment grumpily.
Something feels odd. It's not like you're truly annoyed by his caring. But looking at the familiarity of this conversation and overall situation, something sits on the tip of your tongue. It's not a word or anything that could be said. It's almost like a taste you can't quite describe.
And when you see Jungkook who just laughs with his head leaned back, shrugging effortlessly at your comment, you realize that perhaps it's the fact that things really are like they were. At least right now. Jungkook treats you like he has before. He's caring, having that one particular look in his eyes you haven't seen in a while.
Or perhaps you're just dramatic and you're seeing things.
Being confused and frustrated at yourself more than ever, luckily Jungkook cuts you off from your never-ending thoughts before you can drive yourself crazy.
“Ah, maybe I should've. We both know you're not too confident in water.”
You gasp, reaching for your sandal which you throw in his direction. He laughs, dodging it perfectly as despite your attack, he still reaches for it and puts it back to the spot, so it won't get lost. It's a detail but leaves you gulping.
“I'm pretty confident in kicking your ass.”
“Alright,” he laughs, not believing a word you're saying which makes you roll your eyes at him. “Whatever you say.”
He confidently backs away with a smirk, laughing when you flip him off and huff out in frustration once he turns around and walks to one of the bars. He slowly walks further and further away, yet you keep your eyes on him.
You lay back, staring at the palm tree above you. The sunlight peeks through the leaves, creating patterns on your heated face and cheeks.
When he comes back, you gulp down the fresh lemon and mint drink without properly tasting it.
“...okay.” Jungkook says, watching you being halfway down the drink – it's alcohol free which doesn't make you look completely insane. “Wanna go for a swim?”
Putting down the drink, you open your mouth just as Jungkook decides to ditch the stupid excuse of a cover-up. He shrugs it off and tosses it onto the sand, brushing his fingers through his black hair. It has gotten long to the point where it sometimes gets into his eyes.
Standing up, you undo the small knot on your white cover-up that looks like a short dress. It slips down your arms and meets the blanket underneath your feet.
“Ready?” you ask, dropping down the silly straw hat Jungkook has gotten you.
“Is this new?” Jungkook questions instead, pointing at your white bikini. It's a cute set. What makes it cute looking and pretty is the ruffled style, yet it's complimenting your body in the nicest way.
“Yeah, I bought it for this trip specially.”
“You did?”
“Yeah, you don't like it?” you ask, looking down at yourself and adjusting your bra that's pushing up your breasts. Not in the overly too much type, enough to show them off though.
In your defense, it didn't look like this on the model when you were ordering it. Luckily, you would say it fits perfectly. Jungkook's silence causes you to look up, almost finding the thought of him not liking it or thinking of it negatively scary. You mentally gag at yourself. Since when do you care what others think?
To be fair, sometimes you do – if those people are close to you and it also happens what it is about. But your choice of fashion matters only to you. You won't let anyone change the way you perceive yourself and your individual style.
As much as you're independent in this entire matter, you would lie if you didn't say you don't like compliments. Also, there is something about Jungkook's compliments. You almost gag for the second time when just the idea of it makes your stomach tickle.
“Are you staring at my tits, Jeon?”
Caught red-handed, Jungkook's slightly scrunched eyes from the sun widened in a split second. “You don't usually refer to them as tits.” he comments instead.
You chuckle at the ridiculous response, “I usually don't have to refer to them at all. But you were staring.”
“Can you blame the man?” he shrugs, stealing a quick glance again as you give him the look he knows very well. The one where your eyebrow has been lifted for what seems like the hundredth time in the span of thirty minutes.
“Jeon, for this to work, you gotta behave yourself.”
Jungkook frowns at the nickname, “I prefer Kook better.”
“Jeon.” you correct just to annoy him. Deep down you cackle at the way his brows scrunch together in the softest way possible.
“What do you want me to do? They're just right there! We were talking about your bikini, it's not my fault.”
“You don't have to stare at my breasts though.”
“Did it make you feel weird?”
“Well–”
“See? You don't not like it!” he exclaims, pointing at you accusingly.
“I barely said anything!”
“You don't have to, I know that look.”
“This is ridiculous,” you mutter. “Besides, you didn't answer. You don't like it?”
“Are you seriously asking me that?” he deadpans.
“Um–yeah?” you deadpan back.
He sighs, “I'm not gonna talk about your bikini because you're gonna accuse me of staring.”
“I don't have to accuse you, you were staring!” you laugh.
You're not going to lie. It does compliment you.
Even though you're here to focus on the two of you, in a different way than you were a few weeks ago, you should hate how Jungkook's attention makes your ego grow.
“You told me to behave, so I'm gonna keep my mouth shut.”
“Why?” you question, not doing a great way to show your excitement.
“Oh, now you want me to talk?” he laughs, “Nah, you wouldn't be able to handle it.”
“Cocky as always.”
He shrugs, “I never hid it.”
You nibble on your bottom lip, “But no, be serious right now.”
“Oh, I have been serious this whole time.”
“Jungkook!” you whine, “Is it not too much?”
“If I told you yes, would you change?”
You stay silent for a moment before simply saying; “No.”
“Then no, it's perfect.”
“Jungkook!”
He stays silent for a moment, throwing his head back as his eyes squint shut from the trails of sun hitting his face. “God, woman.”
“What?” you mumble innocently.
Since when do you care what anyone thinks? Jungkook questions mentally, trying to keep his thoughts straight before he gets the courage to look you in the eyes.
“You look beautiful.”
You stare, battling with hundreds of things happening inside you. The heat in your cheeks gets almost unbearable and you do what you seem to be best at. Running away and playing it cool. “Yah, don't say it like that!”
“Like what?” Jungkook asks, brows pinched in confusion.
“So seriously.”
“I am serious,” Jungkook informs you, making it worse for your cheeks and the turmoil that's happening in the pit of your stomach. Why did you have to open your mouth? “Now let's go into that fucking water.”
“Woah.”
“Yeah, woah.”
“What's bothering you?” you ask, trailing behind him trying to catch up to him when he suddenly turns around and nears the sea.
“Nothing,” he says casually, dipping his ankles into the chilly water. You open your mouth but before you can say something that could potentially lead to a conversation you would eventually back out of, Jungkook splashes your heated body.
You gasp, finding him smirking. Before you can get him back for it, he runs to the water and dips his entire body in. He emerges out of it in seconds, the water reaching just somewhere around his hips. You watch droplets of water run down his entire body, hair completely soaked from it as he wipes his face.
“Are you staring at my abs, Y/L/N?” Jungkook shouts, your eyes widening as embarrassment makes it onto your face. Can he be any louder?
You look around for a second, trying to see if someone is witnessing this embarrassing moment. There's no one that seems to care, besides a group of girls meters away from you as they seem to find a certain interest in Jungkook. You purse your lips, looking at Jungkook.
“Y'know, if I should behave, so should you.”
“I don't feel like behaving,” you call out to him, watching him as he creates waves with his hands as he effortlessly runs his hands through the water. “They are just there, you know?”
You get him back for it, still watching him and witnessing his lips curling into a knowing smirk. “Oh, are they?”
“Mhm.”
“Get in here.”
“No.” you giggle, laughing when Jungkook grins and shakes his head at you.
“I'm gonna get you.”
“Come here then.”
And fuck, he does. You laugh through it all, trying to back away as you promise him you will go deeper, though not fully out of respect to the sea you have. He doesn't listen. As soon as his arms wrap around your body, molding into his almost too naturally and perfectly. But you're caught up in the moment and in your giggles, hearing Jungkook's laugh as you squeal when the coldish water wets you.
You cling to Jungkook's side, “There are no sharks, right?”
Jungkook snickers, “Of course there are. Somewhere in the sea at least.”
You nudge him, but Jungkook holds you close since he can reach better than you. He's also a way better swimmer than you. “Don't say that.”
“Look at those kids,” he says and points to the side. There are kids on their floaties, of course with their parents around. “They're not scared of sharks.”
“They could be dessert for all I care, I'm not gonna be one.” you joke, hearing Jungkook laugh as he doesn't allow you to inch closer to the shore.
“You could be mine, but you wanted a break.”
You gasp, tickling his side as he barely falters and just gives you the teasing grin. “Don't say stuff like that. I told you.”
“Alright, I won't.” he promises, imitating his lips being locked as he throws the imaginary key far to the sea. “I was joking.”
“Were you?” you ask, pretending to be teasing and amused but the truth is, there's a part of you trying to know the truth.
“I guess you'll never know. I told you I'm shut.” he says with a grin like the annoying brat he can be.
And for the sake of yourself, you decide to leave it be. You splash his face instead, playing it off like you seem to do often. For your own sake.
Jungkook has always been the adventurous type. You've heard all kinds of stories from Taehyung and Jimin, some of them back from Busan or from the times you haven't been present in their lives back then. Jungkook would be up for anything that could get him the thrill and although, there weren't that many opportunities considering everyone's busy lives – you could see it from his mere decision of being up to all sorts of fun that involves adrenaline.
So you shouldn't be surprised he practically stuttered and almost jumped from excitement once he spotted a place where jet skis can be rented. You've read his mind even before he opened his mouth and dragged you there.
After swimming and messing around in the sea for a while, you went for a walk and explored the beach, and tasted a few good snacks. You should've known it's not ending with that.
And that's where you ended up. Sitting behind Jungkook, both of you wearing safety vests and you clutching to his back, arms around his waist. You live in the moment, focusing on each activity the two of you do.
The sun is now setting down, air is still warm but with the sun slowly disappearing, it's not boiling hot. You're exhausted and your body screams for a good cold shower and bed. On your way back to the beach house, you walk in silence and enjoy the sound of waves around you.
You're the first one to occupy the bathroom, taking the chance to not be in the presence of Jungkook's naked abs and chest. As long as you keep your mind and body busy, there's a low chance of you overthinking and letting your mind wander somewhere where it simply should not.
Not wanting to dwell any further of how this might have been a mistake, you take it as a test to prove your friendship. Jungkook is a temptation that has grown over the few months you get to experience something you haven't before.
As the water dribbles down your naked body, wetting every inch of your skin, you think it's too soon to want everything to be different or back like it was. Because it never will be. And for that, you're scared of what's about to come. There are things you can control and then there are things that simply will evolve into something. The feeling of the unknown and fear of ruining your friendship with Jungkook genuinely scares you.
But again. You think of it more positively, you have to or else you're going to lose your mind. Jungkook's attractiveness and the fact you're attracted to him won't go anywhere. At least not in the near future and it's something you need to come to terms with. Like you said, it's too soon to think of it any differently.
While you're here to focus on your friendship, perhaps you should focus on yourself more as well.
As you wash yourself in a nice scent of orange and vanilla, you apply a body lotion you've brought to make your skin soft. While you do that and start doing unnecessary steps as your night routine, one you definitely don't do when you've spent the day not wearing make-up specifically, you tell yourself you just pamper yourself instead of trying to look good for someone else.
Your skin is glowing and hair almost dried by the time you join Jungkook in the living room, wearing one of your night gowns.
He's on his phone, barely glancing at you before he takes a double-take and eyes you up and down.
“What?”
You're the first one that breaks the short-lived silence. Any nightgown is a small portion of what could be considered as your sleepwear. Jungkook out of everyone knows that, because he's seen you in everything you usually sleep in. Back in the day, you would never get the courage to let him see you sleep in anything other than oversized shirts and shorts. Even thinking of wearing tank tops made you feel weird, especially if he god forbid could see your nipples peeking through.
This white nightgown is beautiful, but by no means designed to make men salivate or suggest anything other than having something nice to wear. Besides, the material is thin and light which is perfect for this warm weather. Plus, you and Jungkook have agreed or not having the AC turned on unless it's completely necessary. Not only is it not healthy but you're also very sensitive to coldness. Getting sick on this vacation is just not on your list, therefore you're trying to eliminate that chance as much as possible.
He narrows his eyes at you, trying to figure you out and you realize it right away before he can even open his mouth and offer you any sort of response.
“Oh, don't get this wrong. I packed my best stuff on this vacation and I didn't know we were sharing a bedroom.”
“I haven't said anything.” he says, watching you as if you were a predator as you get closer.
“You didn't have to, it's all over your face.”
As much as you enjoy his eyes on you, which always compliments you – it's one of those moments when you hide behind confidence and ignore the warmth that spreads inside the pit of your stomach. There's no point in thinking how many words from him or simple eye-contact would it take for him to take matters into his own hands. Or more like you.
But you can't think about that. You can't wonder about it.
“I would suggest wearing something different but I won't.”
He smiles and it's so brief you barely catch it. “And why is that?”
“Because it's not my problem, of course.” you tease. “I'm wearing this for myself.”
“I never initiated anything different,” he tells you, tilting his head to the side while he studies your face. He doesn't even lock his phone as he tosses it beside him. “You should sleep in whatever you're comfortable in.”
“I will.”
“Good.”
You both stare at each other, trying not to crack a good laugh. It's a weird moment. Something between joking, amusement and tension that boils. If this happened a few weeks ago, he would probably have you underneath him as you're speaking. And the image is so explicit that it leaves a warm coat all over your body and you have to take a step back.
“But seriously now, you don't feel weird because of this?”
“If I said I am, would you change?”
“Of course not.”
He cracks a grin, “Then why asking?”
“I'm curious. I don't want to make you feel weird and this wasn't my intention. Besides, this doesn't expose anything major–and you've seen everything–”
“I have and for someone who doesn't care and wears this for herself, you're awfully explanatory.”
Your eyes narrow into thin slits as you glare at him, sending him a warning look that's easily met with a boyish grin from him.
“Now that you're finally out and finished making yourself look good for yourself, I'm gonna take a shower.”
Jungkook's laugh booms through the room and bounces off the walls when he manages to escape from your leg aiming at his buttcheek. To be fair, you were there for longer than you initially planned.
“Are you making fun of me, Jeon?” you call out to him, trying to sound pissed as a comfort glazes your soul.
“When have I ever?” He calls out back, already in the bathroom and hidden from any threats your legs might make.
It's been ages since you've had such a good sleep.
Exhaustion and the amount of activities you've done yesterday ultimately had a good share of it. The air here is different. The faint sounds of waves have been an additional part of your sleep. No cars passing by or city lights peeking through your blinds, or even occasional footsteps of your neighbors above your head.
You understand why people travel so far to relax. Sunlight peeks through the wide open window you've left and lets the chilly air get through the night. It felt so lovely that you fell asleep as soon as you closed your eyes.
Traces of sun touch your skin and make it warm, warmer than you've appreciated though and that alone tells you you're about to have another hot day ahead of you. Jungkook has briefly informed you of today's plans, always keeping in mind what you want to do but since you're more of a tagging alone vacation type, you just agree with whatever.
You're here to relax and if you see something you would like to see or try, you'll feel open to do so. It's something you've assured him right before your body slumped into the comfiest bed you've ever laid in. Not even Jungkook's massive bed can compete with it.
Or maybe it was the exhaustion all along.
Speaking of Jungkook, you tilt your head sideways to check on him. Not before you rub your eyes off the sleepiness. A sight of Jungkook's exposed back stares at you right back. Similar to the position you've just woken up from, he's sleeping on his stomach while arms underneath the white pillow as he hugs it to his face. You can't see his face and for a moment, you think it's better that way.
Whoever would see you right now, they would get a totally bad perception of the two of you. You look nothing like best friends who occasionally share bed.
Overthinking is not a huge part of your life. At least you think so. But ever since months have passed by and you've decided to take a break from the temptation laying right beside you, you feel like you've done nothing but that. Overthinking every second.
You believe everything happens for a reason. And while you told yourself you're not going to overthink it and focus on your friendship instead, you do wonder if there's a true reason for why you and him ended up spending this vacation alone.
Sure, Taehyung got injured and couldn't travel while Jimin couldn't go because of last changes at his work. It shouldn't mean more but just a mere coincidence that consists of bad luck and life.
Like you've told yourself many times before, you will take this opportunity to focus on your decision of why you decided to take a break. Besides, you can't think about it too much and you do have to put lust aside, focusing on something that is far more sacred and important to you.
You've no idea how long you lay there with your eyes open, watching the beautiful view out of your bed. You haven't checked your phone, something you would've done by now if you were at home. But not at the moment. You want to fully enjoy this and stay in the present – because right now it feels like you don't need anything else.
You haven't realized how much you needed to get away. Perhaps the reason for this vacation is not to tell you something secretive, but it's for you to recharge and come back stronger than ever.
And maybe there's no reason for it. Maybe you should just freaking enjoy it and not overthink every second.
You almost groan out loud, ready to spring out of the bed to stop yourself from thinking and being alone with your mind. The soft groan coming from the person next to you stops you and for some dumb reason, you catch yourself closing your eyes as if to pretend you were sleeping.
Jungkook tosses around and stretches his limbs, groaning raspily under his breath as he turns to his back. He's back to sleeping, so do you think before you slowly open your eyes and catch the perfect sight of him doing the same a second after. He blinks, frowning slightly as if he realizes where he is.
Witnessing that is cute. Wait. What.
You widen your eyes and quickly shake that thought away. Calling him cute, even if it's in your mind seems illegal. Even though you've done that many times before. Years ago to be exact.
“Mornin',” he rasps out, hand reaching to his face as long fingers rub the sleep and tiredness off those puffy eyes.
Muttering the same greeting, you watch him close them for a moment as a soft groan makes it past his lips. “How long have you been awake?” he asks sleepily.
Long enough to watch you sleeping, you admit in your mind but it sounds ridiculous even there. You shouldn't have these thoughts anyway, no matter how honest you are.
“Just a few minutes,” you reply instead, rolling onto your back as you stare at the ceiling.
A momentary silence has never been an issue with Jungkook. In fact, you don't find it uncomfortable but for some reason, having him so close feels weirdly familiar and odd. It's different now but it is not at the same time. You're both in a completely different state. While you realize it's in your head and sleepy Jungkook has no idea, you decide to cut off the silence and fill it with a conversation.
“It's already ten.” Your eyes drift to the digital clock that sits on the nightstand on your side.
“Fuuck,” Jungkook sighs, rubbing his face again. “Already?”
You nod, glancing at him to find his arm tucked under his head, his face turned to you as he offers you a sleepy smile. Gulping down, you sit up and pat down your hair to make it less messy.
“What are we doing first today?”
Not offering him any more attention with your eyes, your feet slip into your slides easily as he remains silent for a moment. Your back burns, the traces of his eyes are without a doubt the reason for it.
“We should eat something first, then I wanna rent a car so it's easier to travel on the island. And then bungee jumping.”
“Fuck, you still wanna do that?” you whine a little, glancing over your shoulder to find him grinning at your evident disappointment.
“You only live once.”
“That's a stupid reason to do stuff like that,” you point out.
You're all up for Jungkook having fun and trying new things he hasn't. However, sometimes your type of fun and interest differs from Jungkook's and once again, you're reminded of his adventurous self. There's no way in hell you'll go through that. He knows that.
“But if something happens to you, I want your car.”
Jungkook snorts out loud, your own lips curling into an amused grin as your feet pat into the bathroom.
“Or no, your apartment will do.” you raise your voice as you call out to him, making sure he hears you.
He does, along with the amusement and teasing in your soft voice.
“How generous you are,” he calls back. “You wouldn't survive without me.”
You chuckle under your breath, washing your face in cold water. You're done within a minute, patting down the remains of it.
“Oh, here we go. Cocky much in the morning?”
“You should know that by now.”
You jump at how fast and close the answer comes. Jungkook stands between the door frame, leaning against the left side of it. Crossing his arms over his chest, you try to not stare too much at the display of his skin and muscles.
Reaching for your toothbrush instead, you focus on your task instead and stare at your reflection in the mirror. Your cheeks feel warm all of a sudden and you're sure it has nothing to do with Hawaii's warm weather.
Jungkook watches you in silence. You're not sure if he still has a cocky grin attached to his lips or if he's simply just watching, but you know he is. You can feel it. And then you hear him stepping closer until he reaches for his own toothbrush. The familiar scent of him wraps around you once again as you give him a look with an arched brow.
Is this his way of keeping his distance?
Well, to be fair he never said he will keep his distance. Your idea of how this is going to work is simply to focus on your relationship, rather than the physical side of it and what was left of it.
Although, you have no idea how him standing shirtless next to you is going to help that. You welcome the challenge though.
You two ignore a lot of facts that surround you. So you continue to brush your teeth next to each other like it's the most normal thing ever. And maybe it is.
But back then none of you were shirtless or exposed enough that there is only so little left to each other's imagination. Is imagination even a thing here?
You've seen every inch of each other's bodies. You don't have to imagine anything because you've seen it all. You've felt it all.
“Do you mind?”
You straighten up once you spit the remains of mouthwash. Jungkook turns on the shower, checking the temperature as he's visibly ready to take his morning shower.
“Unless you wanna join me.”
It's the cunning smirk that slowly sneaks onto his face that makes you scrunch up the small face towel that's been used and throw it in his direction. It bounces off his puffed out chest and you hate how he laughs, ignoring your attempt to silently tell him to fuck off.
“Boundaries, Jeon.” You remind him.
“You never minded them before.” He continues to tease you and you snarl at him, throwing him a glare.
“Now I do.”
“Alright, alright. Sorry.” He bows and you groan, flipping him off before you close the bathroom door with a loud thud.
His humorous laugh behind the door accompanies you long enough until you're far away to breathe it out. You'll have to do that a lot when it comes to Jungkook.
Your soft smile is caught in the reflection of a sparkling clean microwave and you quickly look away, ignoring the previously stated facts.
“Kook, are you really sure?”
After you had breakfast, walked around a bit and rented a car like Jungkook said, you stand in a queue that's slowly but surely shortening.
He would've actually laughed if he didn't glance at you and see your widened eyes, as you stare at staff putting a harness on people and preparing them for the jump. Whenever someone jumps with a loud scream, some people as a pair, he sees your breath hitching and stopping for a moment.
Of course he is sure. He's mentioned this a couple of times throughout the years but he never really had the opportunity to do this. So you're aware of not only his interest but excitement as well.
Unfortunately for him, this is a hard no for you and even though you would do anything for Jungkook – go special lengths such as pretending to be his girlfriend – this is where you draw the line. It's comical.
“You sure you don't wanna jump with me?” He asks instead, laughing when he sees your dumbfounded look. Is he serious?
He had to sign a freaking liability waiver that he's doing this at his own risk. While you're aware this is a standard contract for all these kinds of sports, you've almost thrown up when the woman handed it to him and he signed it.
“Worth a shot.” he mumbles.
It's laughable as you stand beside him, shifting uncomfortably from side to side as if you were the one doing this. Meanwhile Jungkook is close to jumping from excitement as he watches other participants before him in a complete awe and excitement.
“Have you not watched a horror movie when the most ridiculous stuff happens once people do this kind of stuff?”
He gives you a side glance, “Are you talking about Final Destination?” he stops for a second, “I don't remember there was a bungee jumping scene.”
“It's not about bungee jumping itself.” you point out, growing frustrated that he's practically just making fun of it.
“You should stop watching horror movies.”
Your response comes right away. “I would have, if you guys didn't force me every time.”
He snickers, “Y'know, for someone who's always very considerate and empathic, you sure know when to talk about the right stuff.”
“Talking about all the risks this includes is right,” you inform him. “I'm worried.”
“No one wants to hear there's a risk of a plane falling when you're about to board the plane.”
Oh shit, he's right. You know he is, yet you couldn't help yourself and hoped that he's going to change his mind at the last minute. Obviously, for your own selfish reasons.
“Flying a plane is different though.” You still stubbornly mumble, hearing another scream from one of the participants which makes you flinch.
“The point is not,” he points out but as you open your mouth to argue, he grabs you by your shoulders and has you standing in front of him. “Stop worrying, I would do this with or without you.”
“Damn, how sweet of you.” you mutter, causing him to laugh. “Couldn't we ride horses or something instead?”
“We could still do that. After I jump.”
“Oh god, don't say it like that!” you whine. He laughs, wrapping his arm around your shoulders as he hugs you to his side.
“Taehyung would jump with me.”
“Taehyung would probably be drunk out of his ass if he happened to jump.”
You look at each other, laughing before the woman's staff calls out for Jungkook. She asks if you're jumping together and you wildly shake your head at her, stepping aside as you let her put a harness on Jungkook.
He's grinning, watching her excitedly as she says all kinds of information about safety to him. You don't listen to that. For a moment you just focus on the happiness and excitement on him that has been evident ever since you stepped out of the car.
Their conversation is a little lost on you, therefore your brows are furrowed in utter confusion when Jungkook sits down and gets his legs secured.
“Wait–what are you doing?” you ask.
All people before him either sat when they were jumping or they looked as if they were lying, in a flying position. Jungkook puts a helmet on, shooting you a thumbs up as he ignores your ready to flip out.
He's being hoisted up, upside down as he grins like a kid at you.
“What the hell, are you crazy, Jungkook?” you yell, hands gripping the railing for dear life.
You thought this center did just those positions and Jungkook flying upside down just never crossed your mind, even though you know people jump like that too.
“See you soon.”
“Jungkook!”
But before he can focus on your angry expression, he flies you a kiss and is let go. You yelp, wincing as you his body flies into the distance in a rapid motion. You can't help but watch, your eyes lingering on what seems like a dot down there the entire time.
“My boyfriend jumped as well, a couple of times actually.” Someone says beside you and you don't look, you can't as your eyes stay on Jungkook. But from the voice, her accent tells you she's local. “If it makes you feel better, no accidents happened here. A few people threw up but that's it.”
You offer her a nervous chuckle, not really thinking Jungkook will be throwing up. In the worst case scenario, he would want to jump again.
“See?” She stands closer, taking a closer look as they start pulling him up and you sigh in relief. “Your boyfriend is safe. Is he the throwing up type?”
You finally glance at her, seeing her tan face and curly hair surrounding it.
“He's not my boyfriend,” you tell her, “He's my best friend. Psycho best friend it seems.”
She laughs but her eyes linger on you, looking as if she doesn't believe you. You subtly roll your eyes. You know exactly what she's thinking. You've seen that reaction many times before and by now, it no longer phases you.
Everything else becomes a white noise and the girl beside you is long forgotten as the cord springs back to its original space and with that, they pull Jungkook slowly up. They help him balance. Letting go of the railing, you wait for him to move aside so he's not that close to the edge as it's another person's turn.
But none of that matters and when Jungkook finds you at your original spot, he smirks. “Missed me?”
“You idiot!” you curse, punching his chest before you hug him. He laughs, chest vibrating as he hugs you back.
“I would jump again but I wouldn't wanna give you a heart attack.”
You smack him again, giving the girl that still stands there a knowing look. Jungkook's eyes move toward her for a moment, wondering who she is but his attention is back at you as you breathe out loudly.
“You're crazy, you know that?”
He shrugs, effortlessly running his fingers through his hair. “I'm crazy about a lot of things.”
Rolling your eyes, you nudge your head toward the exit before he changes his mind and you'll be charged for a murder. “Let's go.”
He listens, but not before he tickles your side for a good measure, earning another smack.
He's a crazy idiot for making you worry like that.
“Awww, you were so worried about your Kookie?”
Baring your teeth at Taehyung's huge grin that displays on Jungkook's phone screen, he's a lucky person that you're currently sitting at one of the restaurants near the beach. There are too many people for you to tell him to fuck off.
You knew the moment Jungkook decided to accept the video call, they would have a field day. Honestly, they make the situation way more dramatic than it was. Luckily for them, you know your friends and their annoying teasing that is purely raged by your annoyed reactions. It's what makes their eyes lit up until you put a stop to their charades.
That's what you get for being the only woman in your inner and close circle.
You glare at Jungkook, non-verbally asking him do you see what you did?
As always, Taehyung asked about your day and since he can't be a part of it, he likes to hear details. He doesn't mind it, as he assured you many times. You still feel bad that he can't be here with you. Jimin too.
And luckily for Jungkook, he briefly mentioned you almost shit your pants when you saw him actually doing it. He wasn't really making fun of you, until Taehyung took the matters into his hands and turned it into a teasing battle that you're a victim of.
You lean toward the table where Jungkook holds his phone, facing you as he watches your interaction with Taehyung with amusement sparkling in his eyes. “Fuck both of you,” you whisper, making sure Taehyung hears it.
He does.
It makes his grin even bigger.
“You should've seen him. He jumped upside down.”
“Isn't that what people do when they bungee jump?” Taehyung asks, met with another huff coming out of you.
“Yes, but dozens of people before him didn't jump upside down.” you inform him with a sass, seeing him put his hands up in surrender.
“Honestly, you're like an old married couple. You scold him and he fucking enjoys it.”
Rolling your eyes, you adjust the napkin that's sitting on your lap. It's getting dark now. Until the adventurous day, you wanted to have a calm dinner by the beach. Tomorrow's plan is to enjoy at least a half of the day there, relaxing. No adrenaline sports.
“Are you even scared of anything?” you ask Jungkook, lifting up both your brows.
“I'm scared of many things.”
“Yeah and you're one of them.” Taehyung butts in. Jungkook rolls his eyes and so do you.
“You guys make it seem as if I torture you on daily basis.”
“Well, you can be scary sometimes.”
“You know what, Tae?” you press your lips together in a fake smile.
“Wha–”
You don't give him a chance to respond, ending the call. Jungkook snickers, pulling his phone to him as he checks the screen. You sit back with a satisfied smile.
“You know Tae… He would tease shit out of everyone and everything.”
“Oh, you're not so innocent either.” you point out with a chuckle.
He frowns, momentarily pausing as he reads out a message. “He just texted me–fucking rude.”
“Send him a kissing emoji, he's gonna know it's me.”
Jungkook shakes his head with a chuckle, typing something there. He locks his phone, putting it away as it has become a strict and unsaid rule to not have phones when you're out. To be honest, it happened naturally and you're guessing, both of you want to enjoy this time without the internet. Unless it's to make calls of course.
“Besides, you were shaking when I danced on the table. You were practically shitting your pants back then–do you see me teasing you for it?”
He frowns, “When?”
“The NYE party? Jin's cabin?”
Quiet follows for a moment as the mention of one of the very significant nights comes to the surface. Not even the waves in the background can wash out the slight odd vibe in the air. So much happened there.
“You remember that?”
“Faintly, but Taehyung filled me in.” you shrug.
“That was different,” he simply says.
“Different how? I was having fun and you begged me to come down.”
“Yes, because you were wasted out of your ass. I had all safety measures taken care of, while you were dancing, wasted wearing heels.”
You purse your lips.
“So don't compare those two.”
He doesn't sound angry, he's strictly informative and you wonder what he's so defensive about. Perhaps the memories from that night aren't exactly pleasant. You might've looked like you were having the time of your life, but you were going through hell back then.
“Damn, alright. Point taken.” you mutter, seeing him roll his eyes but his lips crack a grin.
“Just don't dance on the table this time.”
“Why would I do that?” you laugh.
“To get back at me.”
It's silly. You wouldn't do that and he knows that. There it is. It's the innocent teasing you've missed. Innocent. That's what you need.
You still reach toward the wine glass as you gulp it down. A tight smile is the last thing you offer Jungkook before you dig into your meal.
It's the next and second day of you officially being here.
Over the short period of your stay, it's crazy to realize how used to you've become to the new world around you. You and Jungkook have fallen into the routine of waking up without any alarm, not bothering yourselves to set one so you could do as many things as you can during your stay.
Both of you relax and let things happen naturally, with a bit of planning because you still want to have fun and experience fun things. It's not hectic at all.
Jungkook drags you to learn how to surfboard and while he's a natural talent (another of course), you're having just as much fun even though you're nowhere near Jungkook's level. You taste the most delicious food until you can't eat anymore, worrying you're going to have a stomach ache if you won't stop at the right time.
Now you're laying on the beach blanket with eyes closed, listening to the waves that are always there.
Jungkook has gone to grab you some alcohol free drinks, cold drinks, after you both agreed on having them. It's been a while since he left, so you crack your eyes open and squint at the bright sun even though you've been lying in the shade.
You look around. A part of people playing beach volleyball, tanning or swimming in the water, you don't spot him right away. Until you would recognize his figure everywhere and from miles away. He's bringing his drink with him, staring at the sand under his bare feet and you can't help but watch him the entire time.
His hair is still a bit wet from swimming that he decided on earlier. Jungkook knows how to relax and you've seen him relaxing more than ever here. However, he still needs to get active somehow so every few minutes, he decides to do something. It's quite laughable and adorable, considering he would be lifting weights if he was back at home.
He's passing by the volleyball court that someone provisionally made and entertained a bunch of tourists that were looking for a bit of sport and fun. You're supposed to go jet skiing with Jungkook tomorrow, so you will save that later and just bask in the sun for now.
Your thoughts fade away just as they naturally came when you spot a group of girls, calling out to Jungkook which stops in his tracks and looks at them with curious eyes. His mouth stretches into a smile as he nods, looking around with drinks in his hand until one of the girls points toward the little table next to their deck chairs. He sets it there carefully before he pats his hands over his swim trunks. Another girl eagerly hands him something which you soon realize is a phone.
They pose for him as Jungkook snatches a few pictures of them. Sitting in the distance for a good minute, he keeps taking pictures of them as they pose in typical poses with the beach and sea behind them.
It's pointless to mention they're all wearing bikinis. You're not one to judge and you would never criticize their bodies but shit, they all look good and definitely stand out with their different body types. They're hot and you don't have to be a man to conclude that.
They chat for a while and you hate yourself for growing slightly annoyed at Jungkook's absence and clear interest in whatever conversation they have. Minutes seem like hours and you look away, watching your surroundings. God, you're pathetic. You act as if your eyes don't move in their direction every now and then.
Until you're staring at the sea in front of you and notice Jungkook's nearing. He sets your drinks down. “Here you go, but be careful when drinking. It's cold.”
Cold? All the ice probably melted until you stopped chatting with the girls.
Pressing your lips together, you nod understandingly and take a sip so you bite your tongue and don't say something that could spiral into any sort of confrontation. What's the deal? You're not even mad at him. You're mad at him for being bothered.
It's okay. They just wanted a group photo and Jungkook was passing by. No big deal.
You sigh, giving him a smile as you look at the nice pink colors your strawberry drink's having.
“I met some girls on my way here. They're about to play volleyball. They ask me to join, you wanna join too?”
You freeze for a second, only your eyes sending him a glance. Of fucking course.
Can you blame them though? Jungkook's hot and has been catching women's gazes every time he comes out. They're shooting their shots and who are you to stand in their way? You've learned from your past mistakes when it came to Ester or another girl in Jungkook's life. Plus, you're on a vacation and they're strangers.
“Nah, you go. I'm gonna sit here and fangirl.”
He lifts his brow, “You sure?”
“Yeah.”
He eyes you suspiciously. “I'll stay if you want me to.”
You give him a dumbfounded look. “I'm not your mother, Kook. Go have fun.” you chuckle.
“Alright.” he nods, standing up. “I'll be right there if you need anything.”
“I'm all good,” you assure him. “Go kick their asses.”
He laughs, shaking his head. “They're girls, Y/N.”
He heads back to them, unaware when you mutter under your breath; “So?”
At first, you thought there's no reason for you to dig deeper in things that don't matter and would show overtime. You've stuck to your own little world, relaxing and checking your phone every now and then. You've also watched the volleyball game.
Interesting to watch, you may say.
Jungkook's in his element and you're not exactly talking about the female audience around him. Some guys joined them too and you soon realize they know the girls, or at least are familiar with them. Jungkook's team is winning. No doubt there and you find yourself smiling whenever he shoots, and the ball hits the sand on the opposite side of the other team. You silently cheer for him.
For a second you think of recording him and sending it to Jimin and Taehyung. But knowing Taehyung, he would thirst over the women playing the game rather than the real meaning of the video. Perhaps you're a bit selfish because you definitely don't need to hear about how hot those women are. Because that's what they are.
They're women.
But you should've expected this to happen. It's what you maybe wanted to happen. It's a great opportunity to fully move on. There will be many occasions and situations like this. You shouldn't be mad.
So why the fuck your lips turn downwards like you've been kicked to the stomach?
Jungkook comes back after running with everyone to the water to freshen up. He yells something to them when walking out of the sea, grinning from ear to ear. You feel like an idiot. How can you be so bothered when he seems happy?
“Hey, they want to jet ski for a bit. You wanna join?”
Jet skiing is fun, you would go but you stop yourself from nodding because of your own partially selfish reasons. “No, you go.”
“I know we're supposed to go tomorrow and we will–”
“Kook, it's no big deal,” you laugh, “We can go tomorrow.”
“You sure you don't wanna go? They're all nice.”
You're sure they are.
“Maybe I will join you later or something.”
“They wanna play volleyball again, so you can join, then.”
“Yeah, sure.” you smile, giving him a thumbs up as he gulps more of the drink until it's finished.
You wave at him as he joins them again, going to rent the jets. You sigh, groaning silently at yourself. A part of you wanted to join them just to stick with Jungkook. It's okay for him to have fun with someone else.
Your throat feels tight when you see the woman sticking to his side. Her caramel skin glistens under the sun rays and she looks straight out of any male fantasy. You've seen so many different models coming from your model agency, but this one takes the cake and you're not sure if she's a model.
Her curves are thicker than the models you usually see. She's wearing a revealing bikini, her breasts almost spilling out of the bra but it's not because of that. It's because she's gorgeous. She's different from Kiko. She's different from you.
You would guess she might not be Jungkook's type. But then he looks down at her, smiling widely as he fastens her vest and something kicks inside you.
“Hey–”
Your head moves quickly toward the male with full on abs, nearing you carefully as he chuckles when you give him a glare.
“The guy–Jungkook?” he stops for a moment, “He told us you're his friend.”
Friend. That stings for a split second.
“I am, and?”
He chuckles, not put off by your raised brow and dangerous eyes. The man's skin is tanned and his dark wet hair is pushed back, showing you his sharp jawline.
“And I wanted to check on you and ask if you really don't wanna join.”
Oh god, he must think you're some kind of introvert that avoids all social interactions. Little does he know you did it for your and Jungkook's sake.
You glance back at them, Jungkook sitting on a jet ski as the girl sits behind him, hugging him from behind. Your throat goes dry and you swallow down the lump that suddenly appears there.
“Officially, you don't have to if you do–”
You roll your eyes at the familiar sentence and you grow slightly annoyed at that. You brush any sand that might appear on your moisturized skin.
“Y'know what? I was starting to get bored.”
His smile grows and he looks you up and down. Not in the disgusting and perverted way, but in an almost challenging way as he smirks.
“What about my things though?” you look down at your phone.
“We can leave it in the bar there. They always look after our things when we do stuff like this.”
“Always?”
“We're here for the third time.”
“We.”
“Some of our friends. But we always meet someone new too, so they join us.”
Just like Jungkook right now.
“Oh, so you're the friendly type?”
He chuckles, “Not always. Just for specific people.”
And then there's the look in his eyes. Challenging and telling you more than his lips are. Oh god. He's flirting with you.
You grab your and Jungkook's phones, not wanting them to get stolen. When you straighten and balance yourself, he holds out his hand for you to take. You slap his hand, brushing past him. “Let's go.”
You hear his amused chuckle behind you as he guides you toward the bar. After your stuff is taken care of and the staff is obviously familiar with him, you join the others.
“Guys, someone's gonna join us after all.” He calls out and you realize you don't know his name.
Jungkook is in the middle of conversation, grinning as he looks up curiously. His smile falls when he spots you and you almost lift your brow at him.
“Cool!”
“Great!”
“I'm Nat, what's your name?”
All kinds of questions and reactions are thrown at you. Welcoming and warm which you're glad for.
You introduce yourself, feeling a hand on the back of your back, not going any lower out of respect as the man who brought you here, guides you to one of the jets.
“Mind sharing this one with me, Y/N?” he asks, handing you the vest.
“No,” you say lightly and feigning innocence. “Do you?”
“Of course not.”
“You could at least tell me your name. Y'know, in case something happens to me.”
“What's fun in that?”
“So you're also the mysterious type?” Cocking your brow at him in challenge, he smirks.
“Gabriel.”
He excuses himself for a minute, to grab his own vest as you put the one he handed you on.
“I thought you didn't wanna go.” Jungkook suddenly says, standing right in front of you. He lightly nudges your hands as he helps you to fasten up your vest.
You stare at him, “Changed my mind.”
“You could've told me. Wanna ride with me?”
“You already have someone to ride with.” you tell him, chuckling as you're trying your best to appear light and carefree.
“I see you do too. Doesn't mean we can change it up.”
You shrug, “He offered.”
He frowns, his eyes dropping all over your face as they stop on your lips for a quick moment. “So, you cool with that?”
“Yeah,” you say, swallowing. “It's okay to meet new people.”
His eyes snap to yours. He watches you, causing you to almost squirm in his never flattering eye contact. “What do you mean?”
Fuck, you should've stay silent.
“Well, we talked about this earlier. We're not–it's probably for the best.”
You watch his tongue poke the inside of his cheek, a knowing look crossing over his features as he momentarily looks away before he chuckles. He rubs his nose as he backs away.
“Okay.”
Him going back to the woman, watching her arms around his waist when they haven't even set off yet, is not the most disturbing feeling. As Gabriel joins you and you sit in the same position like Jungkook and the woman, you can't help but realize that none of this seems okay.
a/n: Oh god. It's already out! It's been a while since I wrote an author's note & to be honest, there's so much that I wanna say. At first, I wasn't really sure what – minus of course to thank you for your understanding and patience which unfortunately doesn't involve everyone. I'm glad that this chapter is finally out! To think it was supposed to be out in summer (and it's already close to winter 🥴) and even earlier than that, is insane!!
I don't wanna go into too much detail and make this a/n too long, most of you probably have been hanging around for a while to know everything that has happened since the last update. Life has been busy but I don't think about it negatively, even tho it obviously affects my writing schedule. I needed the hectic lifestyle. Sometimes I felt too exhausted, but I would rather take something positive from it than think of it negatively, especially since I wasn't in a good space before.
I wanna apologize for taking so long. I know y'all have been waiting. For me, it didn't even feel that long which shows just how quickly everything has been happening in my life. There are so many things that affected it and I could literally make a list (lol) but I'm sure most of you know a good amount of it, since I've been as honest as I could've been. I know I couldn't control 99% of how busy I got. There were times when I wanted to write badly but I barely could even think of it. There were also times when I could've found inspiration and time, but then one look at my Wattpad profile or my inbox made me just lock my phone and do other things.
I don't want to make this a/n to give off a negative vibe, because there is so much to be happy about, but I just wish some people could be more understanding. Some of them have been extremely toxic, not making it any easier for me. I'm slightly sad to admit that if it wasn't for my passion and love for this story, I probably would just pack it off because the hate and messages I got are insane. I know me saying this won't change anything – I've tried multiple times. But please for love of God, stop pressuring writers and gaslight them, or many other unnecessary and disgusting things.
But putting this aside, I wanna thank everyone who's shown me love and support – made all of this worth it. I hope you've enjoyed this chapter, there is more to come and I've already started working on the next one. Please, don't ask when and how much. I don't know. I'll do my best. My goal is to post at least once a month, but this doesn't mean it will happen. I've learned not to plan much because I don't wanna disappoint anyone. So I'll just work on my stories privately and once I have something to share, I'll inform you 😊
So, yeah, that's it guys! I'm glad to be back with another chapter and hopefully, there won't be such a long wait anymore! I really wish this won't happen again for multiple reasons. Thank you for cheering me on and letting me know there are such great readers like you. I'll be forever thankful. During this story and after it finishes as well!
If you've enjoyed this chapter, please consider buying me a coffee☕️: https://ko-fi.com/personasintro ♡ Teaser for 59 along with a special unfinished scene (that didn't make it in 58) will be posted there!
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© 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨 (𝐧𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐝) | 𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭: @kithtaehyung
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Written Between the Lines
Interlude - Meddling With Our Hearts
Summary: Five times someone interferes with yours and Aemond’s relationship and one time you decide to take the reins and shape your own fate.
Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x Reader
Word count: 6,9k
Warnings: canon-typical incest (uncle-niece)
Notes: Hello!! How have you all been? This one came out faster than I expected! Yay!
Okay, just to explain a few things, so this chapter is a bonus, non-chronological chapter in the story. It is separated into items, as it follows the ‘5+1 Things’ model, spanning across several years. In item 1, Reader and Aemond are very young, around 4 and 6 respectively (and Aegon is around 10), whereas items 2, 3, 4 and 5 are set after chapter 1 of this story (think episodes 6 and 7 of season 1). Lastly, the last item is set in the middle of chapter 2.
I am having lots of fun writing for Aemond, so much so I have a few ideas for unrelated one-shots I plan on writing for him. Anyway, I really really hope you enjoy this!
Next chapter | Previous chapter | Masterlist | Read on AO3
1. Aegon Targaryen
As young children, wherever Aemond Targaryen was you were never too far behind. As the eldest of Rhaenyra Targaryen’s children, you were often regarded as a possible successor of your mother’s to the title of the Realm’s Delight, being soft and sweet and so very beautiful even from such a young age. There was no shortage of people wanting to gaze upon you, spoil you with attention and possibly win over the favor of the heir to the Iron Throne after King Viserys I. But there was only ever one person whose attention you truly craved.
With the birth of your younger brother Jace and your mother’s pregnancy with yet another child, your parents’ attention was naturally split. It wasn’t to say they neglected you or favored your brother above you, oh no, but it was only natural that you were no longer their sole focus, even more fickle given their duties at court. Your father in particular, Ser Laenor, tried to give you as much attention as he possibly could, but even then that was restricted to specific times of the day, mostly at supper and after. It was an adjustment, for sure, and for a little while you resented your little brother, but you were quick to find another source of the attention you craved somewhere else: your uncle Aemond. You couldn’t possibly know why, nor had you ever thought about it, but you were drawn to him in ways you could not explain. And the feeling seemed to be mutual.
Aemond Targaryen, as the second son of King Viserys and his fourth child, was most often overlooked by many in court. He wasn’t Rhaenyra, who held their father’s unconditional love, or Aegon, who carried the title of his first male child, and matters were made worse by the fact that his dragon egg had yet to hatch, whereas Aegon’s had done so when he was still pretty young, and Helaena had quickly claimed Dreamfyre. Even his mother, who once doted on him like never before, had lessened her attention over him, as her fourth pregnancy progressed and her affection usually leaned more towards her only daughter.
So when his little niece, barely old enough to attend lessons, had developed a fascination towards him and would often trail behind him wherever he went, he absolutely basked in the attention that was so freely given. You, who had no obligation to him other than to be cordial at best, gazing up at him with adoration in those innocent eyes made him cherish the moments you spend together.
It was only natural, then, that the two of you could often be found in each other’s presence. Whenever neither of you were having lessons and were left to your own devices, you seemed to always find each other, your tiny hand enveloped in Aemond’s not much bigger one as he pulled you behind him towards whatever destination he had in mind.
“Where we going, Aem?” your sweet voice, not yet able to properly speak his name, would often ask. The library, the dragonpit, the gardens, it didn’t truly matter as long as you were together.
Aem.
The nickname you had bestowed upon him was one of his deepest treasures. To everyone else he was either Aemond, son or brother, and two of these he had to share with other people, but to you, and to you alone, he was Aem. It was something so inherently his, something to share with you and only you. It reminded him of you, of the devotion and admiration you held for him, something no one else seemed to have for him, and he never wanted to let go of it.
But as he would be reminded time and time again he should never hope, nor should he wish for good things for himself, for they could be ripped from him at a moment’s notice.
The day had started out like any other: after your lessons you had quickly scrambled out of your quarters to find Aemond and spend the day together. He had decided, then, to take you to the training grounds to watch some of the knights train.
“See that one over there?” he pointed to a man, just barely out of adolescence, training with Criston Cole “That is Ser Arryk. Or could he be Erryk? It matters not, either way, both of them are really good. Ser Criston is training them to be the newest members of the Kingsguard.”
“Wow.” you sounded from next to him, mesmerized by the clash of the swords.
“Impressive, hm?” he then pointed to another man who was supervising the training “Ser Criston, over there, he is the best knight in all the realms. I hope to train under him and be as good as he is one day.”
He was eager to start training with the sword, like his older brother already did. His mother had promised him that he could start his own training after his next nameday, though it was still a few moons away, he was already eagerly waiting for that moment.
“You be amazing knight in future, Aem.” you turned towards him then, that look of pure reverence made warmth spread in his chest, for he felt your words were true.
“Aem?!” a familiar voice cackled behind the two of you, and Aemond could feel the cold dread seeping into his heart like it usually did when his brother decided to torment him.
Aegon marched over in your direction, almost an entire head taller than Aemond, and ruffled his younger brother’s hair with a tad more force than necessary.
“Oh, Aemy, you will be such an amazing knight one day.” he spoke in a poor imitation of your own voice, high pitched and overly sweet and dreamy. Your face was scrunched in anger and poorly contained humiliation, and had the two of you not been under scrutiny Aemond would have found it adorable.
“Aegon, stop it!” he tried defending the two of you but he couldn’t stop his own cheeks from lighting up in embarrassment.
“Aemy, oh, Aem. Perhaps our mothers will marry us off to one another and I can carry your children.” Aegon chuckled before flicking his brother on the forehead “You would surely want that, wouldn’t you, you twat?”
You couldn’t take it anymore. With a warcry unbefitting of a princess of the realm you delivered a sharp kick to Aegon’s shin, the only part of him you could really reach, before running off with tiny droplets streaming down your cheeks. Aemond tried going after you, holding your wrist, but you swatted his hand away and disappeared around the corner.
“She attacked me!” Aegon complained, voice strained from the intensity of the blow, utterly baffled at how something so small could carry so much strength.
“Oh, please!” Aemond pushed past his brother, annoyed, before stomping away towards his own quarters “It barely scratched. And you deserved it.”
For the next three days you ignored both of them, preferring to spend your days with Heleana. Whenever he asked about you, his mother would claim you didn’t wish for visitors and would rather stay in the company of your aunt. Aemond couldn’t deny that it stung, the only person he felt cared for him deeply, no longer wanting to spend time with him.
So he was overjoyed when, on the fourth day, you approached him as if nothing had ever happened, your expression light and smile bright as you held his hand.
“Where we going, uncle?” and his face fell, joy completely dissipating and giving way to sadness.
You refused to call him by his previous nickname after that day, opting to refer to him only as ‘uncle’ going forward, and Aemond felt an overwhelming longing for things to go back to the way they were. He couldn’t help the resentment he felt towards Aegon for ruining what you had, for he felt it in his bones that things between the two of you would never truly be the same again.
2. Jason Lannister
You were bored out of your very mind at the moment. You had zoned out completely and could barely hear the incessant droning of Jason Lannister’s voice in the background as you reflected upon your life at the moment.
After that night in the bathtub where you shared your very first kiss with your uncle, you feared things between the two of you would change, and change for the worse. You didn’t want that, cherishing what you had with Aemond, even if it never went anywhere beyond friendship. But you needn’t have worried so much, for both of you seemed adamant in not ever speaking of that night ever again. It did sting a little if you were being honest with yourself, but you preferred that over ruining what you had.
So you were very much looking forward to spending a few hours with him before lunch when you were intercepted by Ser Jason Lannister.
“You look wonderful today, my princess.” the man had smiled down at you.
“Uh, thank you, my lord.” you answered, confused as to what he could possibly want.
“Why don’t you give me the pleasure of going on a stroll with me around the gardens?”
You didn’t know why he wanted to take a stroll with you of all people. And to be fair you didn’t want to spend more time than necessary in his presence. What you did want was to find Aemond and spend your day with him. But something, a strange sense of propriety and duty, held you back and you found yourself agreeing with his proposal.
That’s how you ended in the current situation, arm looped with his as he droned on and on and on about himself and his wealth and his castle and many other topics you couldn’t care less about.
In your reverie you hadn’t even realized you had reached the training grounds until Aemond, who had just finished his training session with Ser Criston, smiled and waved at you as he was putting a wooden shield away. You were about to wave back when Ser Jason’s voice pulled your attention back to him once more.
“Well, princess, this is where we must part ways, unfortunately.” he gave a small bow of his head before letting go of your arm “The maesters say it is good to keep active, so I will go see if I can find a sparring partner.”
You barely spared him a courtesy as Aemond was already by your side, ready to whisk you away.
“What was that all about?” he asked when you were already halfway to the library, a sense of unease pulling at his heartstrings once he remembered the way your arm was linked with the older lord.
“I do not know for sure.” you shrugged “I barely paid attention to what he was saying. Something about his riches I believe, we just went on a walk around the Keep.”
He laughed then, though it lacked any mirth, and his smile no longer reached his eyes.
“What is it?”
“You are so naïve, niece.” he explained.
“And why is that?” you questioned, feeling slightly offended.
“He wishes to court you.”
Your disgust at the thought must have been reflected very clearly upon your face, for he let out a full, genuine laugh this time.
“B-But- why?!” you tried collecting your thoughts, flabbergasted by such revelation “He is so…”
“Arrogant? Boring? Plain? All of the above?” Aemond completed for you, jesting at the situation.
“Old!” you whined and he laughed even harder at your expanse “I mean it! He is older than my own father!” you got closer to him to whisper conspiratorially at him “I heard he courted mother when she was looking for a husband, and he was already considered too old for her at the time.”
His laughter echoed around the halls, a few servants stopping to stare at the two of you, dumbfounded at the way you seemed to be able to bring the usually stoic prince out of his shell.
“But why does he wish to court me? Why not some other, older, lady?” you asked, still confused.
“Well, you are not just any lady, mandianna. You are a princess.” he explained, though his words seemed practiced, like they were reflections of not his own thoughts but those of other people “Any lord would jump at the opportunity to wed you. Chances are, in fact, that more suitors will start to flock around you for attention as you grow.”
“Ugh!” your shoulders slumped under the weight of your frustration “I do not wish to marry these lords!” you threw your hands up in exasperation “I just wish to spend my days with you and Helaena! Why can I not just marry you, then?!”
He felt a twinge too tight of happiness at the notion, but chose to ignore it and listen as you continued with your rant.
“If I were to marry one of these lords I would be miserable!”
His face softened in sympathy, remembering the conversation he overheard between his mother and grandsire regarding Aegon and Heleana’s betrothal. He felt pained for his sister, for he knew Aegon would not treat her how she deserved, and now he was seeing the same pattern with you.
“It is our duty, I fear, to find matches that best interest our House.” he spoke softly, but you turned towards him infuriated, and he feared he said the wrong thing.
“But I do not want to marry for duty!” his heart clenched in his chest as he noticed your eyes brimming with tears “I want a husband who loves and cares for me, like father and mother!”
He held back his tongue, knowing that speaking his mind about the kind of love between your parents, or lack thereof, would only upset you further. There was no denying that Ser Laenor cared deeply for Rhaenyra, just not in the way a husband should a wife.
The both of you stayed quiet for a moment, you simmering in your unsettled thoughts and him disappointed he couldn’t comfort you further, for this was something that was out of his hands.
“I would not mind, you know?” he heard you speak softly, turning his head to find you already looking at him.
“What?”
“Marrying you.” you smiled softly at him “At least with you I would be content. I could see us being happy, even.”
Your words were a soothing balm over his heart, making it clench in his chest. He, too, did find the notion appealing, he could be happy with you, hells, you already made him happy.
“If it matters,” he spoke, trying to hide his true feelings behind a layer of nonchalance “I would not mind marrying you either.”
Your smile brightened then, and you bumped your shoulder with his.
“One can dream, right?” you giggled, before sighing once a servant came to fetch you to clean up before lunch, annoyed that your time with him had been cut short.
But as you walked away an idea formed in his mind, and with a determination he hadn’t felt in a really long time, he set off to find his half-sister.
3. Alicent Hightower
“No.” the Queen’s voice was harsh, and Aemond’s heart filled with dread as he peaked from his hiding place behind a pillar in her solar. He knew he shouldn’t eavesdrop but his traitorous heart was too anxious to wait.
“Come on, your grace.” Rhaenyra answered, clearly annoyed, a hand placed on her very pregnant stomach and another on her lower back, as if standing here arguing was bringing her physical discomfort “The boy came to me, begging for her hand in marriage, all that was left was for him to fall to his knees. She herself has asked about the possibility of marrying him once. They are the perfect match!”
After your conversation earlier that day, Aemond had set off to find Rhaenyra and ask, no, beg her to allow him to court and eventually marry you. She had laughed in his face, and he tried not to show how her dismissal wounded his pride, until her face softened once she realized he was serious.
“Please, sister.” he had even stooped so low as to address their familial bond, no matter how sour the word tasted in his mouth “Allow me to marry her. As her husband, she would want for nothing, I would protect her with my very life. And I could even… make her happy.”
Rhaenyra’s face softened then, for the first time realizing how much her little brother truly cared for her daughter. She had known the two of you were close, but the depth of your feelings for one another was only now being revealed to her. So she promised him she would speak with his own mother, and if Alicent agreed, then so would she. Aemond’s heart had plummeted then, knowing it would be a lot harder getting through his mother. But he wouldn’t give up hope.
But hope, it seemed, was not enough.
“No, and my answer is final.” Alicent moved about, trying to get Rhaenyra to leave and go bother someone else.
“Alicent,” even though she had her back towards him, Aemond could imagine the tick in his mother’s eye at the informal way Rhaenyra was addressing her “All I am asking is that you consider it.”
“Why do you even think they would be a good match for one another?”
“Oh, by the Gods, Alicent! Can you not see how much they care for each other? The amount of time they spend together? They are practically glued at the hip at this point!” Rhaenyra threw her hands up in exasperation, and Aemond could see yourself so perfectly in your mother’s image “I will just ask my father then.”
“Do not entertain that idea even for a moment!” Alicent’s voice became shrill as she glared at her former friend “What is this even about, hm? Are you so afraid that child” and she pointed at Rhaneyra’s prominent bump “will be born sooner or later bearing a striking resemblance to a certain commander of the City Watch once more that you resort to this… this scheming? To secure your line of succession, is that it?”
Ouch. That was low, even for Alicent’s standards.
Rhaenyra’s face hardened as she stepped closer to the Queen, and for a moment fear gripped Aemond’s heart that he was about to witness his mom get battered.
“My brother, your own son” she spat out, genuinely angry now “begged me to let him marry my daughter when they are older. He promised me he would be a good husband, and for once in my life I am inclined to believe him.” her face softened then, raising her hands as if to grab Alicent’s but let them drop, thinking better than to try and touch her “Please, your grace. If there is still any care left in your heart for the love we once held for one another, please let me do this for him.”
Aemond waited with bated breath for his mother to say something, anything. For once in his life he allowed himself to hope; he’d give up everything, even his dream of having a dragon of his own, just so she’d say yes. But the longer she went without saying anything, the deeper the cracks in his heart became.
“I will not be able to change your mind, will I?” Rhaenyra asked, her face contorting in sympathy, and when Alicent shook her head, breaking his heart in a thousand tiny little pieces in the process, she sighed “Then I feel sorry for Aemond. For both of them.”
As Rhaenyra left the Queen’s solar, Aemond took his leave as well, his heart shattered and a weight heavy on his stomach, regretting even going to his half-sister in the first place. It seemed you and he could never be after all.
4. Rhaenyra Targaryen
Tears streamed down your face as you ran through the cold tunnels of Maegor’s Holdfast, not caring even for a moment that you were only dressed in a nightgown. The news you had just heard from your father regarding your mother’s decision weighed heavily in your heart, and you had to share them with your uncle immediately. It couldn’t wait until the morrow, because come first light you might be gone.
“Hells, niece, will you ever learn to knock?” Aemond had turned towards you once you barged inside his chambers through the secret door, freezing once he noticed the state you were in. He was in front of you in a second, holding your cheeks in his palms and forcing you to look at him “What happened?”
Even though his image was blurred by the tears that kept on rolling down your cheeks, barely noticing when he started collecting them with his thumbs, you could perfectly see the concern etched upon his features, and that was all it took for you to release the sobs you had been holding back, falling into his arms and hiccuping against his shoulder.
“Mandianna, what happened?!” he asked, holding your trembling figure in his arms and awkwardly trying to console you, running a gentle hand up and down your back. He had never seen you in such a state before, and he did not truly know how to help, much less without knowing the cause of your distress.
Once you had calmed down enough, your wails reduced to soft sniffles, you pulled back from him, running the back of your hand through your face to try and look more presentable.
“Mother has decided to move us to Dragonstone.”
Aemond’s breath hitched then.
“What?” he whispered, taking a step back from you.
“Father just told me. We are to leave King’s Landing come first light in the morrow.”
He felt his whole world crumbling before his very eyes then. He believed his heart could no longer face more damage, for it had already been broken when he overheard his mother and Rhaenyra’s conversation a sennight before, but he felt it shatter all over again at your words.
“C-Can you not stay behind?” With me?, he wanted to ask as his own eyes started filling with tears.
“I asked, but father says we are all to go. Me, Jace, Luke and baby Joffrey.”
His heart was beating widely in his chest, twisting painfully at the prospect of having to face everyday at court without you to keep him company, to keep him sane.
“We can write, of course, but-” you started, voice still trembling.
“It will not be the same.” he completed for you.
It was true, wasn’t it? Things were about to change. On one hand he wouldn’t have to face the teasing from Jace and Luke, just Aegon, the main instigator. But on the other hand he would lose you, which was so much worse.
But then he noticed how your lower lip had started quivering again and realized he had put quite a lot of distance between the two of you. Not wanting you to jump to the wrong conclusions he crossed the space he had created and cupped your cheeks, looking sternly into your eyes.
“It does not change anything.”
“Aemond-” you looked at him with sympathy and disbelief but he wasn’t having it.
“No. It does not change anything between us.” he spoke, determined “I will write to you every single day, and I expect a response every time. It will be like you never left. You can fly on dragonback and come visit. And when I get my dragon, I will visit you in return.”
Your smile, although tentative and still wobbly, returned to your face and he felt relief wash through him.
“You said so yourself, the lines promised me I will have a dragon.” he rejoiced at hearing you giggle “I have to make good use of them when time comes.”
A comfortable silence settled over the two of you. Something in your eye, glimmering with a blazing hope, compelled Aemond to lean forward, resting his forehead against yours, his eyes closing as he took everything in.
“We will still be the same.” he felt you move, nodding against his head, never once moving away “We will still be us.”
And even though, or perhaps exactly because neither of you could prevent the events that would unfold in the following weeks, both of you believed it with every ounce of your souls.
5. Aemond Targaryen
“Aemond.” you knocked once more, your knuckles red and starting to ache from their incessant contact with the hard wood “Qȳbor, please open the door.”
He hadn’t left his temporary chambers in days, and no one would let you see him. After the whole ordeal with Vhagar and the fight between your two mothers in the grand hall at Driftmark after the loss of his eye, Aemond was whisked away to the quarters he was stationed at during his stay so the maesters could work properly on his wound and for him to sleep off the copious amounts of milk of the poppy he had been given.
Having talked to your brothers and cousins and understood what had gone down, you started feeling a tad guilty for the way you reacted to it. Yes, you were still hurt over what he had said about your brothers and, by extension, you. But at the same time you had let him go when he was the most vulnerable, he had just lost an eye for the Gods’ sake. And yet, even though you were hurting, so was he, he needed you and yet you let go and ran from him.
So you had decided you needed to talk. Perhaps, if you apologized for Luke’s actions and your own behavior, he’d offer an apology of his own, for calling your brothers bastards and for not extending Rhaena the courtesy of trying to claim her late mother’s dragon before him. Then, having cleared the air, you could move past this and go back to the way things were, with exchanged letters and promises of visiting one another.
But your attempts seemed futile. There was always a guard stationed in front of his door, denying you entrance every single time you asked. Even though they were stern, hardened by their training, you tried using your authority as princess to order them to let you through, but to no such luck.
“Apologies, princess.” they would say, a smidge of sympathy and annoyance in their tone “The prince is to receive no visitors. Orders from her grace, the Queen.”
Panic was starting to grip at your heart, for your time was running out. Eventually, as soon as Aemond was recovered enough to travel, King Viserys and his family would leave Driftmark and return to King’s Landing. By then it would be too late. If you didn’t speak to him now, you would lose Aemond forever. That is, if you hadn’t already lost him for good. You had to speak to him, and it had to be soon, otherwise he’d leave and you would lose the one person you cared most in the world, who understood you like no one else, and would be left to drown in your own loneliness.
So you started scheming. You waited around the corridor of his chambers, waiting for rotation of the guard so you could catch his door unattended. You almost managed once, but Queen Alicent opened the door to exit the room, stopping dead in her tracks once she came face to face with you, about to knock.
“Your grace!” you were quick to recompose yourself “I came to visit the prince. I wish to see if he is faring well.”
You winced, instantly regretting your choice of words once her face hardened. Of course he wasn’t faring well, he just lost his bloody eye!
“Aemond is not receiving any visitors.” her voice was harsh, and dread overcame you as she started to walk away.
“Wait!” she stopped but didn’t turn around to face you as you pleaded “I just- I just want to see him.”
When she did turn her features were laced with a combination of disdain and pity. It stirred something so deep inside you you almost recoiled and ran, but you decided to endure.
“He doesn’t wish to see anyone, princess.” she spoke, her tone stern yet motherly. But the implications of her words were not lost on you.
He doesn’t wish to see you.
It hurt, tears brimming in your eyes as you turned around and headed for your chambers.
Did he truly not wish to see you? Or did he just wish for solitude, away from everyone? Could your friendship still be mended after both of you had been hurt like this?
It didn’t matter, afterall, for you were determined to try until the very end.
That’s how you found yourself in front of his door, finally alone with him, having waited patiently for the guard’s rotation and making sure his mother wasn’t around. It was his final night in Driftmark before he was set to return to the capitol, and so this was your last, final chance to talk to him before that.
There was a light flickering inside his chambers, visible from under the door, so you knew he likely wasn’t asleep, and when you had knocked for the first time, you heard a thud coming from inside, like he had bumped into some furniture, so you believed he had listened to you. But no matter how many times you knocked, he wouldn’t open it, nor give any indication that he was listening.
“Aemond, please.” you tried again “Please, let us talk.”
The longer you went without an answer, the tighter the knot that was forming in your throat became. Growing desperate, you laid your forehead on the cold, damp wood.
“Please.” you breathed out, not even sure he could hear you now “Talk to me, Aemond. Please.”
For a moment, a short, passing moment, you heard a flutter of movement from inside the room. Your breath hitched, a tiny flicker of unadulterated hope burning in your chest that he had heard you and was coming to talk. But it was quickly snuffed out when you heard nothing else follow.
A deep ache took over your chest, like something had dug its claws in your heart and squeezed. The inevitability of it all, the looming sense of grief over something so close yet impossibly far, out of your grasp completely, clouded your mind and had your ears ringing.
“I am sorry.” you said, taking a step back and turning around to leave “For everything.”
As you walked away you couldn’t help but feel like a part of you was missing. For you had just lost him for good. Perhaps forever.
+1
As you brushed off your skirts, having been sat on the grass by the weirwood tree, you set off to find your mother, determination written across your features.
You nearly ran into Luke as you walked briskly, sending a thankful look to Rhaena as she helped you steady him.
“Where are you off to in such a rush?” Jace asked as he came up behind your brother at the same time you bypassed him and Baela and continued on your way.
“To secure myself a husband!” you shouted over your shoulder, not even turning back around to address them. Now all that was left was to find your mother.
And search for her you did. It was imperative that you found her quickly, for you wanted to make sure you did this tonight. It had to be tonight. No one knew how much longer the King would live, and the moment he drew his final breath, a war would break out within your family. A war that would ravage all of the Seven Kingdoms. So you had to make sure that didn’t happen while your grandire was still alive and lucid enough to give you his full support.
But Rhaenyra was nowhere to be found. The Keep was huge and there was a probability that you were both on the move and simply never crossing paths. You even stumbled upon Helaena during your search as she tended to her youngest son, Maelor.
“Have you seen my mother, aunt?” you asked after a brief and sweet exchange, though you did not hug her like you would Baela and Rhaena, for you knew she did not like to be touched.
“I have not, niece.” she bounced baby Maelor in her arms as he cooed up at her “Why are you in such a haste to find her, if I might ask?”
“I have something of utmost importance to discuss with her.” you smirked as you added next, and by the glimmer in her eyes she understood the hidden meaning of your words “I believe I have found myself a suitable husband and must ask her to arrange our betrothal as soon as possible.”
“Oh!” she smiled brightly then “So we might be celebrating tonight.”
To your surprise and confusion, her smile faltered just a bit, her eyes becoming unfocused, before she smiled brightly again.
“With a union forged in fire and blood, the dragon’s nest is put to rest.”
You dared not question her, for Helaena often spoke in riddles, even in your youth. Biding her farewell you went back to your task. You didn’t have to search long though, for you quite literally bumped into your mother and Daemon right as you were turning down the corridor from Helaena’s chambers.
“Mother!” you exclaimed as you helped Daemon steady a once again very pregnant Rhaenyra “There you are!”
“You were looking for me, darling?” she asked.
“Yes.” you cleared your throat, squaring your shoulders “I wish for a husband.”
That seemed to take both of them by surprise, their eyes widening.
“O-Oh!” she smiled then, still confused where this was coming from “And did you have someone in mind?”
“I wish to take Aemond as my husband.”
“Darling.” her face softened in pity as Daemon scoffed “You know the Queen would never allow this union.”
“That’s not all, mother. I think I may have found a way neither she nor the Hand could refuse.”
Rhaenyra and Daemon exchanged a curious glance with one another.
“Let us hear it then.” your step-father encouraged.
“I want Aemond as my husband.” you took a steadying breath, knowing you’d have to argue the next part “And I want him to be King.”
“Absolutely not!” was Daemon’s reaction, while your mother just looked… betrayed. And it broke your heart. You knew what she was thinking, she had just reaffirmed you as her heir, had to fight for it, and you now want to pass that off to someone else entirely?
“Please allow me to explain.”
“Why would you suggest such a thing?! To that cunt, of all people!” Daemon kept on raging, but his words were abruptly cut short as Rhaenyra raised her hand.
“Let her speak.” her tone was firm, and you knew you had to choose your next words carefully to plead your case.
“Word has come to me of a… plot against you as King Viserys’ heir.” her face twitched in anger for just a moment “The Queen and the Hand will try to instate Aegon as King once grandsire passes.”
“What is new?” Daemon laughed, incredulous.
“And the noble houses would back his claim.” you explained “Many will not recognize you as the legitimate heir-”
“But-” your mother tried cutting you off but you continued over her.
“-regardless of the oath they swore years ago. Simply because Aegon has a cock and you do not.” you hated how crass you sounded, but you had to get the point across “And then a bloody civil war would break out, for you would not let this go unpunished, am I wrong?”
Rhaenyra pondered for a moment before nodding, and you took that as a sign to continue.
“A war between us, dragonlords, would absolutely decimate not only our House but also the realm. But a marriage alliance between me, your heir and future Queen, and my uncle might just make them give up on this quest.”
“Otto would never settle for his blood being just consort.” Daemon argued.
“That is why he would not be consort.” you smirked, the catch you were waiting to reveal slipping from your lips.
“You shouldn’t give up your claim and be consort either!” your mother exclaimed.
“I would not do such a thing. I would be the rightful Queen of the Seven Kingdoms.”
Both of them looked baffled.
“Now you have lost me.” she said.
“When the time comes, both me and Aemond would be crowned Queen and King, and we would rule together as equals. No consorts.”
Rhaenyra took a step back from surprise, and Daemon looked like he was told the realm’s funniest joke.
“You cannot be serious, tala!” he chuckled, but there was an undertone of disbelief to it.
“It could work.” your mother spoke to herself.
“Rhaenyra, you cannot be entertaining this ridiculous idea!” Daemon turned towards her then, wringing his hands as if to stop himself from grabbing her by the shoulders and shaking some sense into her “It is not tradition!”
“Fuck tradition!” you exclaimed a lot more harshly than you intended, and probably a lot harsher than it was appropriate.
You took a deep breath, trying to calm down enough.
“You being heir over Aegon already breaks tradition as it is. Like I said, many will not see you as legitimate. But even if they do, and you are able to rule, the same thing would happen to me and Jace. But will you make all the great houses swear another oath to you?” Rhaneyra understood where you were going with this “Having a husband to back me up as heir, to rule alongside me, would give me strength in my own claim. If you are already breaking traditions, what is one more, eh?”
“You might want to keep your voice down.” Daemon spoke lowly, and you noticed he was staring at someone “The walls have ears in this Keep.”
From the corner of your eye you saw a familiar figure, and in a moment of panic, grabbed your mother’s hand and pulled her towards the temporary chambers you were housed in. You did not want Aemond to overhear what you had to say, fearful that should anyone hear about this ahead of time it would all crumble to shambles. As Daemon joined you two, shortly after, you continued.
“Please, please mother! Think about it. It might be the only way.”
Rhaenyra was silent. While Daemon looked vexed, but made no further complaints, she looked deep in thought. You knew she knew you were right. She just had to see it for herself.
“It would be easier to convince them if we had the King’s approval. That is why we need to do this tonight, at supper.”
Daemon bristled but didn’t say anything. Your mother on the other hand agreed, even if she believed this was all very rushed.
“Would you be happy though?” she then asked, and it was your turn to be surprised “Marrying Aemond? After everything that has happened?”
You looked between her and Daemon, and for once in your life you were certain of what you wanted.
“Aemond has always been kind to me. Or most of the time, at least.” you shrugged “I believe, with due time, we could put our differences aside and rebuild what we once had. Perhaps even learn to love each other.”
Again, you meant. Learn to love each other again. At least in your case.
“Then it is settled.” she looked determined “We will pitch this proposition tonight.”
A wave of relief washed over you. This could work, genuinely actually work. Perhaps it didn’t have to end in bloodshed like you believed it would. Maybe your family could be whole again. And all of that at the cost of marrying the one you had longed for deeply in your heart once.
“He asked for your hand once, you know.” Rhaenyra broke you out of your trance, a soft smile on her face and a far away look in her eyes, as if she was reminiscing on a fond memory. Daemon had left at some point, leaving you both alone to share this conversation, too deep and personal for anyone else to hear, in private “Right before we left for Dragonstone.”
Your heart clenched in your chest at the revelation. He had wished to marry you as well?
“He said he could make you happy. And I believed him.” she then looked at you, cupping your cheek as pride took over her smile “I believe it still.”
You grasped at her wrist, feeling warm at the love you could feel it emanating from her.
“If you believe you could be happy as well,” she continued “then you have my blessing. That is all I want.”
You nodded, blinking back tears.
“I do. I will be very happy.”
She nodded then, pulling you into her arms. In the safety of your mother’s embrace, you finally let yourself relax. Your fate was yours to shape how you saw fit, and you intended to make the most of it.
And you would.
High Valyrian translations: - mandianna - niece (older sister’s son or daughter) - qȳbor - uncle (mother’s younger brother) - tala - daughter (meant here affectionately, not by blood, as there are no terms for step-relative in High Valyrian)
Tag List:
@callsignwidow
@sleephereicome
@bitchassgoose
@voguiing
@dibutw
@fruityvampslayer
@garden-in-the-rain
@queen-of-elves
#aemond targaryen x reader#aemond targaryen x f!reader#aemond targaryen x fem!reader#aemond targaryen fic#aemond targaryen x velaryon!reader#aemond targaryen x targaryen!reader#aemond targaryen x niece!reader#house of the dragon#hotd fanfic
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If you don’t mind, can you tell me how does each member of SNSD suck dick? Also give a very brief description of how they each of them do it. OT9 of course, please and thank you
I like this one. Feel free to send more ideas like this. (Poll at the end, so please make sure you check out the end)
Taeyeon
Taeyeon is very proud of how good her skin looks despite her age. She loves to kneel in front of you, while you are standing. She would always start by lying your cock in the middle of her face, marveling at how big it looks from below. She loves to worship it too. Giving you small, gentle kisses, while letting you enjoy the smoothness of her skin. She would almost never use her hands, taking pride in only needing her gorgeous face and her mouth to make you cum. And when you do, she loves to get her face painted. She is convinced that your cum is part of the reason, why her skin looks so good.
She is more gentle and loving all around.
Jessica
I have to say, that I'm not that familiar with Jessica. But I do think, that she is more like a princess, so her blowjobs would be similar to Taeyeon's and Yuri's. Mostly soft and caring. I think she would like it, when you tell her how well she is sucking you off. A little praise here and there, and Jessica doubles her efforts.
She also loves it, when you cum on her face. In fact, she always takes a selfie of herself after every facial. You can't even count how many pictures she has on her computer. Every single one of them are her, her face painted with your cum.
Sunny
I honestly think that Sunny isn't a big fan of blowjobs. If you ask her, she would give you one. But, usually she would only see it as quick foreplay, not a standalone act. And I doubt she would like to receive facials. Not sure about swallowing though.
But, all that being said, if she really loves you and you ask for it, I'm sure that Sunny wouldn't even complain about it. If she did it often enough, she might start actually liking it.
Tiffany
While Taeyeon is very proud of her skin and facial features, Tiffany likes her own lips the most. And she likes to see your cock completely covered in her lipstick, after a great blowjob. She always carries one or two of them around in her purse, just in case the two of you are down for some fun while being outside the house. She has so many different shades and colours of lipsticks, her collection is probably more expensive than your car. Dark red, pink, black and the last one she bought, one with glitter, just to name a few. But the very first thought on Tiffany's mind, when she buys a new one, is how it would look, smeared on your cock.
And when a store does offer samples, the two of you quickly disappear for a while to "test out the product in advance".
After a sloppy and rough blowjob, Tiffany almost likes the sight of her lips and corners of her mouth smeared with her lipstick just as much as the sight of it on your cock.
Hyoyeon
Hyoyeon is a combination of Yoona and Sooyoung. It depends on her mood. Sometimes, she loves it when you're rough with her, using her mouth like a toy. And on other days, she likes to be the one in control.
Her blowjobs are usually messy, no matter who's in charge. Her spit would always be everywhere. Your cock, her lips, chin and thighs, when she is kneeling. Nothing is off limits to you in regards to where you want to cum.
Yuri
Yuri is quite similar to Taeyeon, when it comes to her body, especially her face and skin. She loves to take care of herself, which means that most of your days end with you, covering every inch of her face with your cum.
But compared to Taeyeon, Yuri likes it a little rougher. On the days when she is really horny, she lets you use her mouth however you like as long as you reward her with your cum. But most of the time, she likes to suck you off, while you eat her out. It's a win win for the both of you.
Sooyoung
The main reason Sooyoung likes to give blowjobs, is the power she has over you, while she is giving you one. She likes to watch your face twitch with pleasure, while she tries something new every time. It always the same thing that finishes you though. Sooyoung, staring at you, demanding that you cum for her. Doesn't matter where you are. In your car, at home, in a dressing room at the mall, Sooyoung loves to count down from ten, once she senses that you're close. Just before you blow your load, she tells you exactly where she wants it.
Yoona
Yoona loves to get used. She prefers it, when you gently stroke her hair and slowly lean her head against an unforgiving surface. A wall, the edge of a bed, or the mirror in the practice room at SM, you name it. You would then slowly slide your cock into her mouth, telling her how pretty she looks like that. And once you start fucking her face, Yoona would moan around your cock in delight. She would do anything to make you feel good, while you basically nail her head against the hard surface behind her.
(Might be slightly inspired by her colors chapter, although I only realized after writing this that it actually matches)
Seohyun
Seohyun is usually too shy to ask for anything intimate. When she does want your cock, she would just rest her head on you lap, while watching a movie, and accidentally brush against your crotch. Or she would just wait for you to initiate something on your own.
I can see Seohyun as someone who has a breeding kink. She would love it, when you squeeze her waist during sex, while you pump your cum into her. And it even shows during her blowjobs. Or rather after. Because she would always make you blow inside her mouth. Then she would spit it out, into her hand, before moving it towards her pussy. She would finger herself, stuffing your cum deeper and deeper into her belly.
Now for the poll.
I originally planned on writing a series with SNSD. But thanks to one of you guys, I now have ideas and plots for at least two series.
So here it goes:
Hope you guys are having a good day. Don't forget that there is also a link at the top of my blog currently, so you guys can vote, if you want me to focus on a couple of request, like commissions, or not.
Stay healthy!
#ask#anon#kpop#kpop smut#kpop girls#kpop gg#male reader#girls generation#snsd smut#snsd#authorhjk1thoughts
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hii <3 i hope you had a good day!! could you do the „riize older vs younger“ post with zb1? thank you ⭐️⭐️
finally executing a zb1 asks 😭
ZB1 OLDER VS YOUNGER ~ based on astrology/typology
reminder that this is based off of their birth charts and astro/typology observations and isn’t exact fact unless I knew them myself and yujin will be excluded since he’s a minor !
Older
Jiwoong
he just doesnt have time for games tbh LOLLL. He prefers mature people that have experience regarding life and relationships. He has a cap venus which can waive between more younger types or mature older times and I think he leans towards the ladder. Someone with practicality and a sense of being grounded. Sensual natural older girl type of beat or someone more mature and “grown”.
Taerae
well for one Taerae is on the more technical and realistic side of thinking of expression (he's a virgo moon) and prefers to be more truthful and honest so he'd like someone similar. He'd want someone with a presence, is more experience and can be the decision maker/lead. With his venus and mars he'd like someone to support and praise him.
Gunwook
I put Gunwook closer to the middle ground because I don't think age is THAT vital for him but would still prefer someone that has a sense of maturity, wide intelligence stabilization in themselves similar to him. Someone that has given themselves a status or has a name for themselves which I somewhat associate with an older person.
Same Age/Middle Ground
Hanbin
he cares more about finding an equal than someone to lead him or be led. So I think it either doesn't matter or he'd like someone the same age as him. He prefers a lighthearted typical relationship without too much complexity. I put him a bit closer to the older section while still in the middle ground section because he still likes someone to have a it of a sophistication and status to themselves
Ricky
he's right in the middle because in my opinion for him it both wouldn't matter that much and he wouldn't mind someone the same age as him. he has a gemini venus so he's more interested in the mental/communicative aspects and the dynamic he has with a person. He's more versatile and can fit within either role as long as it interests him and he can be himself and communicate well
Zhang hao
he would like someone more mellow serious and mysterious on the outside but has has a youthful fun loving edge to them on the inside. Someone somewhat similar to him. He prefers someone with a more playful and "hard to get" "untouchable" vibe rather someone super forward and serious about relationships. He's not a fan of people that are too practical and over concerned with business related things
Younger
Gyuvin
honestly. gyuvin probably likes cute bookworms/nerds. He likes someone to be on the more passive introverted yet sweet and kind type of personalities. Values intelligence but prefers someone who is more humble and nerdy rather than a show off or condescending. He wouldn't mesh well with someone domineering or overly controlling/stable
Matthew
ive never rolled my eyes so hard. KIDDING but it's so obvious that Matthew really does have an interest towards the "oppa" dynamic similar to Riize Wonbin. He likes people that are reactive, emotional and sensitive. People with a more docile soft cuteness to them. He prefers to be in control/lead relationships and doesn't care for people too stoic or stable.
#sh0tanzz#zerobaseone#zb1#zerobaseone fluff#zb1 fluff#zb1 soft hours#zb1 headcanons#zb1 ricky#zb1 imagines#zb1 hanbin#zb1 hao#zb1 x reader#zb1 gunwook#zb1 gyuvin#zb1 jiwoong#zb1 taerae#zb1 matthew#kpop astrology#kim jiwoong#zhang hao#sung hanbin#kim taerae#seok matthew#shen ricky#kim gyuvin#park gunwook#zerobaseone scenarios#zb1 scenarios#zb1 x you#zerobaseone x reader
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Do the beasts have individual goals regarding how to use the apocalypse to their advantage? If so, what are they?
(Dramatic Clearing Of Throat. We all came together to answer this.)
Silent Salt - Silent Salt is like.. for lack of a better word, very narrow minded about her own goals. They don’t necessarily see their goal as locked onto getting rid of a specific person or a specific group-their goal is moreso widespread than anything else. Yes, she wants the Soul Jam back from White Lily, as it’d make things 10x easier, but is she going to focus specifically on getting that? Not at all.
She attacks Jellywalkers if they’re too loud or annoying (typically large groups), so she’s kind of like a middle ground in the overall situation. Helpful in some aspects, detrimental in others (like attacking groups of survivors). Honestly, in the bigger situation, she’s almost like a support for the other Beasts to do larger damage
Her name is fitting even in this story. Silent Salt. She’s a silent killer, a silent watcher-she’ll strike and then leave naught a trace apart from the split bodies of Cookies-infected or survivor alike. She doesn’t HAVE much of a goal other than to bring silence to an already decaying world. Put an end to its lasting reign, start anew-with the Beasts ruling over obedient, silent, and willing to listen Cookies (those who she does not kill).
Eternal Sugar - Eternal Sugar seeks her own happiness! By plunging the world into an eternal slumber and granting themselves unwavering power / immortality (through stealing the life powder / magic of other cookies). The apocalypse massively aids her with this plan; desperate cookies will easily fall victim to sugar-coated lies and 'promises' of paradise, and are more likely to fall asleep when under Eternal Sugar's spell, which is what allows her to drain them of their strength in the first place. When Hollyberry Kingdom is .. well, annhilated, it not only allows her to take over the Kingdom for herself, but also allows them to lure Hollyberry closer. Having the Soul Jam back would help her strengthen and spread the word of eternal paradise!
Admittedly, she does "pity" the Jellywalkers. They can't be blessed with sweet dreams and have very little sustenance for her to take from. But she can't deny how useful they are! Especially if a couple of cookies just quite can't fall asleep yet.
Shadow Milk - Unlike Salt, Shadow Milk is almost COMPLETELY, STRICTLY focused on slowly chipping down the mentality of Pure Vanilla. Of course, like most of the others — his main motivation is getting that other half of the soul jam back so then he can just have the absolute most fun with the chaos of the world literally falling apart. Seeing it deteriorate as much as it already is is GREAT, yes … But what’s a little more, huh?
His methods are a little less .. Straightforward, I’d say. With the Pure Vanilla kingdom being the only relatively Jellywalker free place in earthbread, he uses this fact + the stress of not knowing how the other ancients are doing down there + ANYTHING ELSE THAT COULD POSSIBLY CAUSE HIM STRESS to literally mentally torture Pure Vanilla. The ultimate goal? To put it bluntly, make Pure Vanilla go down below and practically kill himself so getting the souljam is truly “as easy as it can be”.
In other words, he uses the stress of the apocalypse to slowly-but-hopefully-surely chip down at Pure Vanilla’s mentality until he gets what he wants out of him. Hehe~
Burning Spice - HE. WANTS. POWER. THRILL. Any and ALL of it! At the time of his whole .. Thing , Golden Cheese Cookie is actually still within her digital kingdom . Burning Spice , instead of personally breaching it himself … quite literally just … Uses the jellywalkers — or moreso waits for them to fully take down the digital world themselves , while HE on the outside (in what’s left of her real kingdom), Destroys it to practically nothing so she “has a surprise to come back to”
Of course, since the beasts aren’t immune to the aggression of jellywalkers, he’ll gladly kill any who get too “feisty” with him or whatever, but overall in terms of “using the apocalypse to their advantage“, Burning Spice uses the mindless violence of jellywalkers, treating them like brainless minions of sort to cause further harm and destruction to things around him; perhaps quicker at that. If he makes GC’s kingdom on the outside a literal hell while the jellywalkers are busy messing up her digital kingdom, then it should be a piece of cake to get that souljam back and get absolute power once shes out, right? A good presentation, fight, AND reward!
Mystic Flour - She’s ! Snoozin. Mimis.
#jellywalker apoc au#jellywalker apoc qna#crk au#cookie run kingdom au#cookie run kingdom#cookie run au#crk#shadow milk cookie#silent salt cookie#eternal sugar cookie#burning spice cookie
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I am to starting un-following people who are being antisemitic in the name of free Palestine. People who I was following for fan fandom things just blogging and re-blogging antisemitic propaganda and spreading misinformation. I had to un-followed someone who joked about how Hamas should be president, I don't care if it was a joke. It is was not funny.
Almost everything I see in regards to free Palestine movement has antisemitism in it. People are supporting know antisemitic terrorists groups and still think they are woke.
If you are not Jewish it is not for you to say what is or is not antisemitism. Jewish people have stood with other marginalized groups but have not seen that same support for us. It is like everyone hates us, no mater what.
Someone said Jewish people talking about antisemitism when Palestinians are suffering is the same as turning the phrase "black lives matter" to "white lives matter." If I see another non Jewish indigenous person calling Jewish people European colonizers I will go crazy. Stop comparing The Middle East to North America and Australia and stop erasing Jewish history.
People saying Jewish people have white privilege ignores that fact they have and still experience prosecution based on looks. Personally, strangers have knew I was Jewish without me saying anything and I do not have a Jewish last name. People have told me to my fact that I was too pretty to be Jewish and that I was unconventionally attractive and why I was not getting lady leading roles. Because I was cute but in a weird quirky way. I love playing the quirky characters, I see myself in them, they wear awesome costumes and I have fun playing them. But those are not commitments. The white actors and musician, people who are considered unconventionally attractive are usually ethically Jewish. Those are just small microaggression.
I should not have to education people on what blood libel is, they should do it themselves. This Ignores the fact Jewish people have been experience prosecution for over 2000s years and the massive increase in hate crimes targeted towards them.
-----
Also, I am annoyed that my posts about antisemitism are doing better than my posts about fan-fiction, fandom and my interests.
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hell0o. i dont know anything about the beatles but i just watched two of us on a whim and have become insane. fic recs please or just any content, news articles interviews idek. help me tumblr use paulmccartneyprostateorgasm
Sorry I haven't been ignoring this I've just been Thinking. The thing is that I've been into the beatles off and on since I was in middle school so it's hard for me to remember like. Beatles 101. But welcome to hell. Two of us is a cwazy intro to mclennon lol.
Ok so I guess the thing is really depends on how serious you wanna be with your idk beatles scholarship? Like at an absolute bare minimum I would skim some wikipedia articles so you know the major people/places/events/eras. There are a zillion beatles bios and docs most of them bad some of them vital. Unfortunately it haven't gone through any of those since I was a teenager so I can't really tell you which is which anymore. I'm sure plenty of other beatles blogs could provide resources if you want them.
Definitely watch get back and let it be. The movies the beatles were in as well but less essential I guess. Advanced Level McCartney Studies but watch give my regards to broad street it's a fascinating reflection of pauls psyche.
I'd look at blogs like @amoralto @thecoleopterawithana @undying-love for references. Probably more upper level stuff but all of pauls interviews are on the paul mccartney project website and I once went through and read all the interviews from the 80s. Full disclosure, the thing about mclennon that compels me the most is the tragedy of it all, so that's where I tend to fixate. But it was a fascinating experience because you can really see paul work through his regrets/grief/resentment/bitterness/pain about john in real time
A word of caution when reading interviews: both of these guys are incredibly untruthful at times. John, after the breakup in particular, could be very hot and cold, especially about paul so don't take everything he says at face value. Paul also lies a lot no matter what anybody tries to tell you he just gets away with it more because he's still alive and people feel bad calling him a liar
Songs. Their songs are very very important. I sometimes see people act like it's stupid to believe things based on the songs. To a point I get it art doesn't have to be literal yadda yadda. But you also gotta consider these guys communicated a Lot to each other through music from the time they were teenagers. Anyway I'd suggest listening to the songs for a more thorough understanding but just reading lyrics I guess is fine. I personally still like going through people's mclennon playlists and analyzing Why people think they're mclennon. Look at the lyrics, go to beatles bible and/or the paul mccartney project and learn about the context, etc.
Okay anyway on to fanfic. If this is your main concern just ignore all the above advice who cares. Also I'm a horrible resource because I always forget what I read. Um @forthlin @menlove @pauls1967moustache have good fics sorry I can never remember any of your ao3 names. Merseydreams (I think it is) has good fics. @crepesuzette2023 does a lot of fic recs I think. One thing that's always fun about beatles fics is when u think something is completely made up and you look it up and it's literally real like wtf. I'm also a bad reference because I'm heavily biased towards early days fics and post breakup fics.
Ok hope this helps even a little bit. Remember the most important rule is to have fun. People take this shit so seriously but it's literally the beatles. But please do fact check that always drives me nuts.
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I just saw a reel on Instagram, which I absolutely refuse to link because I don’t want to give it more views so I attached a recording of some of the more relevant parts above, but basically this woman (who I assume was a photographer due to the cameras and such) was in the middle of the Arctic doing who knows what. She starts off the video saying something “incredible” happened, and the footage then cuts to her being surrounded by roughly 13 wild wolves. Yeah, you read that right. Due to the poor quality that is my recording, I’ll try and break down what’s happening to the best of my ability.
Throughout the video you can see that the wolves seem not quite quite laid back, but aren’t scared. The wolf closest to the camera at roughly seven seconds in is regarding them with a look that kinda says “hey, what’s this?”.* All the wolves are either walking along on their path, or taking a closer look, not necessarily circling the two individuals but definitely keeping an eye on them. This is probably due to them not seeing people at all prior to this experience. Now, I know that might sound odd, but some areas in the Arctic or places super far north in general have wolves that just haven’t seen people. There was a documentary (which I forget the name of) that covered researchers interacting with a pack who hadn’t seen people. There was also a book (Never Cry Wolf by Farley Mowat) published a while ago that dealt with a pack similarly. When described, the behavior in both the book and documentary kinda reminds me of the wolves in this video.
A quick look at the animals tells me these people aren’t in any real danger, however, should the wolves get more curious and get closer things could probably get a bit tricky. Wolves being naturally neophobic, attacks on humans from healthy wild wolves are slim to none these days. Plus, you really shouldn’t interact with wild animals no matter what they’re acting like. Preferably these people would’ve tried scaring them away the second they saw them approaching (acting aggressive, maintaining eye contact, and whatever you do, don’t run!), but instead, we had to have a Disney princess moment.
In the extremely rare chance that the wolves had seen these people as food, we would be seeing more quicker movement, heads below their shoulders**, various behaviors to test and see whether the people were fit enough for a snack, etc. though this is not the case here. So why, might you be wondering, is this bad if the wolves aren’t hunting the people and the people aren’t interacting with the wolves?
Well, you should never, never, interact with wild animals like this, which if you’ve been following my blog for a while now you probably already know. These wolves, if they so happen to see people again, now associate people with something they can get close to without them getting hurt, which works great if you want a cool selfie, but isn’t good if you are a park ranger, a worried parent, or any other person in a position of authority really, let alone if you have a gun. Historically, if a wild animal (especially a wolf!) gets too close to people, they get shot. It doesn’t matter if the animal was exhibiting dangerous behavior or not, people can’t risk it. Basically, wolf getting closer to people and realizing they can do it without problems = them trying again at a time where things are different and people think “oh no, big and wolf!” and kill it.
I’m not sure how the encounter ended, but later footage shows the wolves farther away rallying as a group, so I assume everything went okayish despite the obvious errors. TL:DR, these people are endangering these animals with their need for a cool video, don’t be a Disney princess, and stay away from wild animals even if they look friendly.
*the wolf closest to the camera has its ears kinda flat and to the side, this is called airplane ears by some biologists (yes seriously) and it is a sign of uncertainty.
**fun fact: theories vary, but some have guessed that prey animals can tell whether a wolf is hunting from whether or not their heads are below their shoulders or not! This would explain why we see videos of wolves calmly walking passed a herd of elk while they stay rested, and why other times the elk will bolt as soon as they see the predator.
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Strawberry Shortcake Cookie
" Say Cheeese! chuchu~!" Description:
"An exterior baked in just the right time, decorated with sweetness of whipped cream, perfectly macerated strawberries and sugar and with fresh strawberry on top to finish the sugar sweet perfect picture, and you get the city's very cute and very energetic photographer Strawberry Shortcake Cookie! Always believed that every moment should be cherished with the help of her trusty Shortbread camera, a simple click and the moment is now captured, no happy memory left forgotten! Just don't forget to remind that her camera is right over there! Some say that her personality isn't always like this, it was until she met a certain cookie whom she considers very dearest to her that she gained this personality and broke out of her shy and timid self Strawberry Shortcake Cookie believes that every cookie has a little bit of sweetness inside them, even if they didn't show it. I mean, how else are cookies made of? Bitter and Darkness? Naaah... No Cookie is after all, right? where was I..? oh right! If you want to take a perfectly perfect picture, just call in Strawberry Shortcake Cookie~!"
------ Info:
Name: Strawberry Shortcake Cookie Age: 19 years old Occupation: Photographer, College Student Pronouns: She/her Rarity: Epic Type: Support Position: Middle ------- Personality:
Strawberry Shortcake Cookie has a bubbly, energetic and extremely sweet personality. She comforts cookies with her genuine and welcoming vibe that cookies feel safe around her. She loves seeing cookies smile afterall, all can do whatever it takes to make them happy. Even with the littlest of things and the bigger things such as her interests, she gets very VERY excited over. Always talks a lot and never stops talking about that, even giving fun facts. Though it's annoying, but she can take a hint and stops (most of the time). Clumsy as she is, she does it intentionally as it means to make the cookie a bit more happy. Whether her clumsiness is intentional or not, she's quite careless overall Because of her kind personality, she's a very forgiving cookie, accepting any apologies and willing to give that cookie a second chance. She is so forgiving that she doesn't want to believe that there's actual evil cookies lurking around. In fact, she is in denial that there are cookies who aren't good at all. She is willing to push herself (both physically and mentally) in order to prove that the cookie is happy and good. Though her happiness is welcoming, other cookies question whether or not her bubbly personality is just a facade for something darker that Strawberry Shortcake Cookie may be hiding, any inner demons she might be struggling currently? The reason behind questioning is that she doesn't display any negative emotion (fear, anger, sad etc) at anyone. There's no used to talking to her about it because you'll only be talking to a brick wall. Though her bubbly personality isn't really just a facade anymore as it became a part of her, it's all because of a childhood friend she admires and loves the most who helped her became this sociable and happy, and that childhood friend is the only one Strawberry Shortcake Cookie is willing to show her real self to. -------- A/N: This is my Cookie Run OC Strawberry Shortcake Cookie!! not surprising I know, you might know her over on my twitter and instagram. She is somewhat of a mascot of mine simply because of how much I drew her with various cookies ^^; So why not giving her some recognition here in tumblr, yeah? I drew a lot of artwork of her so there's no stopping on my posting I'll probably do a separate blog just for her in the near future ;v; speaking of which, if you do have questions regarding Strawberry Shortcake Cookie, please do!! I'm not really done yet posting about her, since I have to list all her relationships and other miscellaneous info regarding her ^^ But I do some fun facts I'd like to share
Strawberry Shortcake Cookie... is taken by a certain blonde consul. she and him are childhood friends turned lovers, more on that later.
She's the youngest of her family but has does act as an older sister to the other strawberry cookies who are unrelated to her (special case with Strawberry Crepe Cookie because their relation is left ambiguous)
Her relation with the Cookies of Darkness are friendly actually, all except two cookies. Dark Enchantress Cookie and Pomegranate Cookie
She's exclusively a Kingdom OC but does have bonds with other characters there (such as Strawberry Cream Cookie)
additional little drawings:
her with the other Strawberries whom she considers her surrogate siblings :>
besties being besties as usual hehe (parfait cookie's costume is from the CRK CN server that I have yet to gain access rip) ----
I'd love to share more fun facts about her but that'll be it for now!! I'll definitely be posting a lot about her ^^
#cookie run#cookie run ovenbreak#cookie run kingdom#cookie run fanart#cookie run ovenbreak fanart#cookie run kingdom fanart#cookie run oc#cookie run kingdom oc#strawberry crepe cookie#strawberry cream cookie#strawberry cookie#parfait cookie#princkle's art#princkle's crispy cookie ocs#any fanart is appreciated as always!! either mention/tag me in a post#finally made Strawberry Shortcake Cookie's debut in tumblr hehe
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/// TD;LR Erise hating on Trailblazer x Kafka [ Includes both genders, idgaf I HATE THEM ALL ] and the random slander against Childe, Aventurine and Ayato
I hate Trailblazer x Kafka with my ENTIRE SOUL. I thought I would hate Kafka and blade more considering he's heavily implied to be gay but nope.
LIKE LOOK AT THEM THEY'RE HER KIDS THEY'RE OUR KIDS. SHE BIRTHED THOSE RACCOONS. Fun fact: I had a raccoon obsession since 2022 and have been referred and symbolised as a raccoon by my friends plus my LOVE for classic music Like they're literally my children and wife 😕😕
"But Kafka called them her destiny" SHUT UP. LOOK CLOSELY. REALLY CLOSELY.
THE GAME SUPPORTS HER BEING A MOTHER FIGURE COUNTLESS TIMES. (It's the middle of the night if I must, I would continue rambling when I'm awake)
I hate the amount of art I see of them and cry inside a little when it's genuinely good art too. Like Himeko is RIGHT THERE. Leave Caelus and Stelle to firefly and march (Dan Heng too ig) omg 😭 call me possessive idc, Kafka deserves better... Himeko the only one and best choice for Kafka right now. This is coming from someone who was loud and proud about being a kafhime hater btw, I'm a changed person now. They're my darlings, I love them both to death. Literally, ahem hime ahem.
I can tolerate it enough but don't ever shove any piece of media regarding Trailblazer x Kafka into my face else I will go on a lost ass essay about the many reasons why they're so... DISTASTEFUL. They even beat my hatred for Childe, Aventurine, and Ayato (Don't come at me, it's just projection, except Ayato.) which is a great feat considering the absolute disgust I feel towards them. <- has toned down lately because of kafblaze, whatever the ship name is
#erise podcast#kafhime solo#from a former kafhime hater#like i love wlw but i ain't blind#i mean i am but whatever#“toxic yuri” 🤓#bro are you two#that's another topic#for another time#I'M LOOKING AT YOU#BAD THINKING DIARY YOUUUU#I FUCKING HATE BAD#REPRESENTATION#LIKE PLEASE#HOW HARD IS TOO#TO BE A SANE NORMAL#HUMAN BEING???#LIKE IT'S NOT MARKED AS#DARK ROMANCE#SO DON'T ACT LIKE IT#ACTUALLY IT'S NOT#IT'S FUCKING RAPE.#green aura with flies
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I think everyone in the Bllk Fandom has agreed that everyone single guy would be intensely and stupidly obsessed when in love, but who are the biggest simps in your opinion and what is the simpiest thing they would do?? (Simp is used very affectionately btw)
nonnie, if they ain't simping, I don' want 'em ! tags. afab! reader. use of y/n once. suggestive themes in isagi’s. i think i use one bad word lol. kayla if you’re reading this the nanase one’s for YOU! 🫵
THE BIGGEST SIMPS OF BLUE LOCK (AFFECTIONATE):
—TOKIMITSU AOSHI
this hunk of a nervous wreck genuinely wakes up every day baffled by the fact that he gets to call you his romantic partner. it is beyond any semblance of logic he possesses why you chose to date him of all people — you asked him out, yet he was the one that almost keeled over from nervousness — and it regularly sends him down a neverending loop of self-doubt. your presence, however, soothes the brunt of that spiralling. it doesn’t stop his anxiety entirely, he knows that’s not how it works, but being around you dulls the noise in his head to a thrum he can manage, focusing instead on being in the moment with you. that’s why tokimitsu has the uncanny ability to spot you wherever you are, no matter the circumstances. he could be in the middle of an intense game with thousands watching from the bleachers or waiting near a busy intersection in shibuya to treat you to some umeboshi riceballs for your date, he’s so attuned to you, he’ll glance up and you’re there, cheering him on or giving him an enthusiastic wave with a grin that splits your cheeks apart, the sight making his heart beat erratically in his ribcage, this time not from nerves, but love.
—NANASE NIJIRO
this absolute sweetheart of a man is always talking about you, not that it ever occurred to him that he shouldn’t. he’s the type of boyfriend who finds a million ways to sneak you into the conversation while hanging out with his friends, completely turning the topic from him to you. a simple question of what were you up to this weekend? leads to an inevitable but hearty ramble of oh y/n and i went on a picnic back in kansai, and they made these super yummy wanpaku sandwiches- until basically everyone in his immediate circle can recount your life history. and nanase manages this so naturally, so effortlessly, that his friends don’t even notice they haven’t been told a single piece of information about how he’s doing until they draw a blank about anything regarding him, but can recall your great sandwich making skills and the promotion you recently received with great detail. on the occasion you go pick him up after late-night practice, his teammates frequently congratulate you on things you have zero memory of sharing. at your quirked brows, nanase only chuckles and rubs the back of his neck sheepishly, as if to say i just can’t help myself when it comes to you. he really is your most ardent supporter.
—ISAGI YOICHI
you know those how men wanna be treated when their boys aren’t around memes? isagi’s stance towards your relationship is the furthest thing away from that. he’s open and honest with his affection for you and doesn’t give a rat’s ass about who happens to see him being horrendously smitten with you. he spins around with you at the airport every time you come to greet him home even though he knows it’s super cheesy and the paparazzi may be watching. he rests your chin on your shoulder at formal events, gently swaying your bodies as he hugs you from behind to cure his boredom. he flashes a cheeky grin when you ladle him with sweet pet names, cooing right back at you. his teammates tease and make fun of him mercilessly for it, but isagi’s quick to spit back an aw, not getting any good pussy lately? sorry for your loss, humbling them so nonchalantly you almost forget to smack him for it. it doesn’t deter him in the slightest as he hooks a long finger past the waistband of your pants to pull you closer, ushering you out so you can go home and watch the newest episode of your show together, leaving his gobsmacked teammates behind.
—BONUS: RAICHI JINGO
he has such that’s my wife! energy. raichi would love to show you off and rub it into anyone’s face that he scored the fucking jackpot with you, so everyone can go cry about it while he gets to hog all your attention lol he adores you.
#—ping! new message from (anon)#i almost put reo here but i was like no. no no no he’s obsessive not simpy! there’s a difference 😌✨#—bllk.thoughts!#blue lock x reader#blue lock x you#bllk x reader#bllk x you#tokimitsu aoshi x reader#nanase nijiro x reader#isagi yoichi x reader#raichi jingo x reader
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Hello and welcome, trainees and newcomers to the foundation!
It's time to put on your training wheels and get on the wagon, as we speed through Southeast Asia and the Middle East with our dear friends, the Joestars and co.
- The Speedwagon Foundation
Read the introduction comic here.
Keep reading for info and TOS down below (Do not interact with the blog if you have not read the TOS! It's at the very end.)
This is Project Ask the Crusaders of Stardust! An ask blog dedicated to the main cast of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders. What can you and can you not expect from this blog? For one we will not have a set schedule for posting. "We" is right, we're two people running this blog. Namely @starplatimoon (Mod Moon) and @kuttblueberry (Mod Blueberry). We're very passionate about these guys and the story of part 3, and we have our own AU and RP we will pull inspiration from when it comes to moving the story forward on this ask blog. So expect the unexpected when it comes to what may happen... We will both be drawing and writing for this blog, but one of us may have more responsibility for writing certain characters than the other. Specifically, Mod Blueberry writes more for Joseph, Avdol, and Kakyoin while Mod Moon writes more for Jotaro and Polnareff. It's just the way we like to do it. This blog is fully a collaboration! We'll be putting credit where credit is due at the end of posts, we may forget sometimes or simply choose not to, however. There may be room for ships such as Avpol and Noritaro to develop down the line. And while that may be the case, we don't want this blog to revolve around ships, but the character's general dynamics and story! And to just goof off and have fun. That too. While the blog is "sponsored by the SPWF" and you're welcome to commit to the bit, you really don't have to pretend to be a newbie SPWF employee. Treat this like you would any other ask blog, there are no rules in that regard. But we will be touching on actual rules for a TOS at the end of this post that we implore you to check out before interacting with this blog or sending asks! And lastly, roleplay-themed asks and magic anons (AKA stand users) are allowed but we might not indulge in it regularly. But there may be events in the future that touch on more fun ways to interact with us, whether that be "a sudden influx of stand users!" or whatever. We do what we want.
!!!TOS BELOW PLEASE READ BEFORE SENDING ASKS/INTERACTING!!!
Don't spam the same question/message, we will get to you. And if we don't, it's probably because you broke one of the other rules OR it's already been answered in one form or another. (Although we may revisit similar themes, time will tell).
No s*xually explicit questions (Or the ghost of Erina Joestar will come back from the afterlife to whack you across the head with her ghostly cane).
No proshippers or proship themed asks. (For you who don't know what that means: Proshipping includes ships that have inc*stial/p*dophilic/abusive themes. This also includes aiming suggestive comments or asks towards Kakyoin and Jotaro, do not do that)
Related to the above, do not send in asks if you indulge in proshipping, in fact, do not interact with this blog.
We are not looking for more mods. Just the two of us, we can make it. If we try <3
Do not repost our art without credit (this does not include reblogs here on Tumblr). But if you want to use our art as say a profile picture or header, you can WITH credit. This also goes for if anyone wants to dub over our comics or such, that is allowed too, with credit.
Do not badger us if we decide to take breaks or go on a hiatus, we have our own lives. This goes for literally any ask blogs out there, do not stress the mods out!!!
If you break any of these rules, you may earn a block, be mindful of that.
On a happier note, aside from abiding by our rules, have fun! This blog was made for fun and we hope you will have fun, we sure will. (If we don't, read bullet point 7.... just kidding.... or am I.....)
Thank you for reading all the way to the end!
Credits:
Blog header by mod Moon and mod Blueberry. Joseph, Avdol, and Kakyoin were drawn by mod Blueberry. Jotaro, Polnareff, and the background was drawn by mod Moon.
Profile picture by mod Moon.
Crusader chibis by mod Moon and mod Blueberry. Joseph, Avdol, and Kakyoin were drawn by mod Blueberry. Jotaro and Polnareff were drawn by mod Moon.
#jjba#jojo's bizarre adventure#stardust crusaders#jojo part 3#jotaro kujo#noriaki kakyoin#joseph joestar#jean pierre polnareff#muhammad avdol#mohammed avdol#ask blog#fanart
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HarryKim sketches
look at how gay these guys are-
thats a lot of middle aged gay-
I'm actually kinda proud of myself for kinda capturing their age despite the limiting angles i had to communicate that. I still have areas to improve in that regard, but I can feel myself improving!!!!
Fun fact: these were made like- the same day I decided my name was Harry now, what a silly world we live in.
#disco elysium#harry du bois#kim kitsuragi#harrier du bois#artist#digital art#harrykim#kimharry#sketches#art#ship#mlm ship#shipping
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In general, I think Team Issylra is more of my speed than Team Wildemount where it has more joke and troll characters taking charge/disrupting the narrative.
Deanna and FRIDA are more support characters. Fearne goes with the flow, Imogen would please just not want to be the Leader.
Chetney doesn’t take anything serious and FCG is far too self-sacrificing that they’re willing to drive themselves and others into the Deep End. (Cue Logan Roy’s: “You are not serious people”).
In Team Issylra, Deni$e is cynical, she’s inquisitive and willing to push people to get answers but also so grounded and supportive. Deni$e and Deanna are two sides of the same coin in this regard.
Prism is an inexperienced wizard who is also very inquisitive.
And Bor’dor, if that is even his name, turned out to be one of the cultists.
Mix them in with Laudna, Orym, and Ashton who are a powder keg away from exploding and in Laudna’s case, she did.
Honestly, the fact that she hasn’t before this is a testament to the support of the whole Bells Hells group.
She just died again month ago. Yu’s betrayal is still fresh— Yu made her feel special and then it turns out she was an assassin. Then Otohan happened, and then the Apogee Solstice, and then they lost Imogen, Fearne, Chetney and FCG.
And then the Issylran group were thrust into a fairly gray situation where they helped a town with an also dubious town leader oust an overbearing colonizing Church institution.
And while it was fun with Team Wildmounte, the angst and heaviness with Team Issylra really worked for me and also I think it really helped the group that Deni$e was along too because she’s very good at taking initiative.
And then Bor’dor happened
He was the straw that broke the camel’s back.
It also re-crystallized for them that they are fighting a war.
Team Wildemount are returning to Jrsusar with their skin clear, reinvigorated with their mission, finding love and laughter, with the exception of Imogen who is still very much filled with anxiety but also looks slaying.
Team Issylra, returning to Jrsusar traumatized, looking in the middle distance with haunted expressions. Dirty and a bit more feral and broken. Soldiers.
(Seriously, Team Issylra has really upped their game tactically and skills wise).
I love Campaign 3.
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Apology Tour details I forgot to gush about:
- Verosika finally dropping the pronounced O from Blitzo’s name. Never once does Blitzo call her on it like he does everyone else, so the fact that she does it on her own says a lot about how healing their conversation was for her and I love that for her.
- honestly it didn’t even occur to me that Blitzo should have told Stolas about the assassination attempt. So when he let it slip, I was completely blindsided as well as delighted. I genuinely don’t think Blitzo MEANT to keep it from Stolas; I think he just didn’t think about it, for all the reasons he mentions regarding Stolas’ hardiness. (ADHD coded Blitzo in the house lol)
- really would like to know if all Lust demons are called succubi for ease purposes, or if Better Than Blitzo Guy is an incubus (insert obligatory “wouldn’t it be fun to play with the terms succubus/incubus on a sexual dynamic scale rather than a gender scale” discussion here)
- Blitzo seems to be speaking really slowly for him when he’s raging about Stolas getting kissed, which makes me think he’s REALLY angry; reminds me of when he’s telling Striker to “get his shit-stained claws” off Fizz, just a drawl that feels so much more angry than his usual fast pace.
- cannot stress enough how even when they’re in the middle of fighting, Blitzo keeps trying desperately to bring their relationship back to sex bc he wants his status quo back, bc that’s still the only reason he can think of that Stolas would want him. Why ANYONE would want him. I need Ghostfuckers to BREAK HIM. I want that man sobbing his guts out and then picking himself up and looking himself in the mirror and wanting to change for himself as much as for the people he loves. You can do it, Blitzo, I believe in you.
- look guys I have zero doubts in my mind that Stolas and Blitzo together are endgame. I have equally as few doubts about the fact that it ain’t gonna be this season. Prepared to be pleasantly surprised! (Though I can’t deny that having half to a full season of mutual pining while working together and taking things slow and steady would be my ideal scenario tbh. Blitzo chewing his desk to bits over Stolas’ cute secretary glasses pls)
- as someone else pointed out…“I sorried Fizz so hard he CRIED!” Blitzo YOU cried, you over-emotional projector, you.
- the more we see about Blitzo and his past relationships and his current wants, the more obviously his deflection of “relationships are boring, I’m doing everyone a favor” rings so hollow, so much like a kid telling himself he doesn’t want that lollipop anyway because he’s never going to have it and it’s less painful to be the one rejecting than to be rejected. He’s cracking, but I need that walnut BROKEN OPEN. Bleed out all that venom, let the bone set and heal properly this time.
- GOSH I hope Vassago can be a genuine friend to Stolas, both because Stolas needs it, and because I love Harvey Guillen to bits and am so excited to meet his character 😆
Okay. I think that’s everything for now.
#helluva boss#helluva boss spoilers#OKAY THINK I MIGHT BE DONE FOR NOW#until I see something else I forgot to talk about
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HEY so I know its been a minute since I've sent an ask, but I saw some of your posts about danganronpa, specifically regarding another episode, udg, and I was agasp because I was literally in the middle of playing it for the first time lmao. So after finishing the game last night I really wanted to ask, if you want to ofc, your in depth thoughts on the game and why you like it so much, or even thoughts on the gameplay and mechanics since its so different than the danganronpa staple. I quite liked it personally because of Komaru and Toko's relationship, them becoming two of my fav characters in the franchise so far, and because I became very endeared to the kids by the end of the story. I have some qualms with how Kotoko was handled in chapter 3 at... that part... but she's also my favorite of the kids at the same time lol.
Anyways yeah no pressure at all, I just was really curious because I liked the game a lot and found it so funny that you posted stuff about it as I was playing it. Also because I really enjoy your ouran opinions. But again I get if not, the game has some senstive subjects for sure. Thanks!
THIS IS LIKE THE BEST ASK EVER FOR ME TO RECEIVE. I AM SO PASSIONATE ABOUT THIS GAME AND HAVE BEEN FOR NEARLY A DECADE AT THIS POINT.
Okay....where to even START....
(I will be referring to UDG as DR:AE or just AE in this. SPOILERS FOR ALL OF DR:AE.)
Firstly, the environment. Unlike the main series, DR:AE does not take place in a secluded area away from the real world. It does the opposite; you are in such a vast area, you are not caged, yet you are still trapped. Even if Komaru didn't have that wristband on her, where would she go? The game is great at highlighting what the world outside of what we are told in the mainline games is actually like, how caged things are even outside, all while expanding upon existing characters' backgrounds by introducing family members, or little pieces of dialogue that serve to flesh out the world.
The gameplay itself, personally, I find VERY fun. I'm not a shooter game person, but DR:AE was a game I could play many times over. I love the different types of ammo, the puzzles, the possibilities with how to destroy the monokumas. Just a fun game all around. It's by far the most replayable Danganronpa game, as the main series games are all about the story. Once you know the story, there's really no reason to replay them. In fact, they are quite slow and boring without the intrigue of the mystery.
But the highlight, obviously, is the characters. As is Danganronpa's specialty.
While I still maintain Hajime is the most interesting protagonist of the series, Komaru serves as a great subversion of the expectations set up by Makoto's actions in the first game. Makoto is someone who preserved no matter what, changed those around him with his hope. He was your quintessential paragon protagonist. While Komaru displays this a little in some scenes (namely rallying the adults under Haiji's protection) this is only the result of speaking from her own wants and experiences. That is to say, unlike Makoto who always tried to help others even if it cost his own life, Komaru is much more realistic. She cares, first and foremost, about her safety. Her helping others to stand up for themselves comes from her own desire to keep fighting so she can live, and so she imparts that onto the people around her. Fight so you can live. She says it herself: she is not like Makoto. She is selfish, she is not endlessly optimistic. She's more like Hajime in this way, but unlike Hajime who find his own brand of philosophy, Komaru really doesn't. Rather, while Hajime's character serves to show you don't have to choose a predetermined path (hope or despair) and rather your path can simply be believing in yourself, Komaru's character shows that sometimes, and maybe even most of the time, believing in yourself or a specific ideal is not feasible. Komaru believes in the people around her - namely Toko. She believes in her friend, and believes with her friend that things can keep going. This in my opinion is an excellent twist on Makoto, who was, by all means, that friend that people believed in, not the one doing the believing.
And, as an aside, Toko and Komaru have the best development of any pair of characters in the series. Yes, even moreso than Hajime and Komaeda (who I maintain never really had "development" between each other than just a very, very good dynamic from the get-go that was influenced at points by outside plot forces on Komaeda's end. Think Light and L from Death Note in this manner).
Now, let me talk about the real meat of the game, and my favorite characters to date in the whole series: The Warriors of Hope.
I won't lie that I'm biased. I'm very biased for these guys. But I think a lot of people don't give these guys the credit they deserve considering this is a Japanese game. In Japan, child abuse is a bit of a taboo topic (that thankfully has been resolving over time). Due to the nature of Japan's politeness system and "family above all else" attitude, many child abuse cases not only go unreported, but are flat out ignored. The epidemic of babies dying in coin-operated lockers being an especially egregious example of rampant child abuse that occurred. Despite being prevalent since 1971, it took till 1993 to be socially addressed.
This is just one example, but I think it serves my point: child abuse is/was an issue in Japan when it comes to socially speaking of it. ( In fact, in the game itself, Nagisa and Kotoko both directly say they tried to reach out and get help, but were ignored by adults). This is why art regarding child abuse is so important. And that's why a huge series like Danganronpa centering a game about child abuse is such a huge deal. It sparks discussion and promotes visibility of the topic. Not to say media before hadn't talked about it - in fact, there is a lot of Japanese media about child abuse for this very reason - but that does not undermine the importance of Danganronpa deciding to portray it so openly. It is even more important, to me, that they do not stop at physical or sexual abuse. Rather, abuse focused on verbal harm and emotional neglect are portrayed as being just as damaging, which is one of the most overlooked and underplayed forms of abuse in general.
Their portray of abuse also is rather accurate. I will make a confession: I was definitely a bit too young to play danganronpa when I did. Definitely not 18 yet. But I was a teen, and very aware of different types of abuse, sexual abuse included. But despite all the PSAs, books I had read on my own or even ones assigned to me for classes, I had never seen a sexual assault victim be portrayed as hypersexual before. In fact, I didn't even know such a thing was possible. Yes, it is very, very likely I just got Komaeda levels of unlucky to not encounter that in any of my reading or research material at the time, but I think it's common, nonetheless, that people to this day still have the misconception that sexual abuse victims are all afraid of sex or anything sexual. While that is true for some, many people are now becoming more aware that sexual abuse survivors can often display hypersexual tendencies. In this way, I DID learn a lot about the effects of sexual abuse based on how Kotoko acted, and was able to do my own research from there to learn more. Furthermore, the game is good at portraying things like specific triggers in the form of words, smells, items, or specific phrases. Again, I feel it's mostly stereotyped that most triggers are objects that "make sense" like cigarettes or alcohol (much like with what Masaru was afflicted with). But the game made sure to include ones that were "non conventional" like specific words ("gentle" in Kotoko's case) and portrayed both triggers, no matter how common or uncommon, as equally severe. The game also shows negative effects child abuse can have on those around the children. After all, the WoH would not be doing the things they were doing if it weren't for how they were treated in the first place.
(Aside: This is particularly WHY I get so mad when people hate on DR:AE for being "icky". If you are personally uncomfortable with topics of child abuse, that is wholly reasonable and you do not have to play or even like a game that centers on that. You are in your full right and perfectly valid to say "I think this is gross and uncomfortable, therefore I do not like it" or "I don't like this game because I felt personally overlooked/triggered by it" or "I don't like this game because I felt it was not fun or well written". But to say it is objectively "problematic" or "disgusting" to have a game like this exist? That is just spitting in the face of people trying to advocate for visibility of child abuse. You are doing nothing but making people like myself who felt vindicated, seen, or educated by this game like bad guys. Sincerely, please do not call a game that does not shy away from the uncomfortable realities of child abuse "problematic" based on that alone.)
(Aside aside: there are "problematic" elements in the game and things to criticize as is true of all media. The Kotoko minigame I would say is the biggest "why is this in here" moment and is definitely just a fan service scene. I don't like it either. This does not mean the game itself and as a whole is valueless or bad.)
That leads into my next point: I love how morally gray the "good" and "bad" guys are. The WoH aren't doing what they're doing (save Monaca) because they want to hurt people for the lolz (though they have fun with it, as kids would). They think what they're doing is genuinely good. It's a good way to rival Junko, who knew she was evil and batshit crazy, but didn't care. These kids think they are helping children and keeping them safe. And they're kids - young kids can't really think in very complex manners. If you were treated horribly by most adults in your life, and your peers were as well and shared the same sentiments as you, you would be 100% convinced your convictions were righteous then. Hell, I've met adults that think this way (pretty much all extremists who think anyone part of x group, race, gender, religion, etc is evil). A kid thinking this way is very realistic. They are also all different levels of "morally gray". Nagisa, for example, ends up helping Komaru because he feels that a paradise for children is more important than the sole idea of killing all adults. Meanwhile, Monaca, perhaps because of the abuse she suffered all her life, has become a person that we can assume will just enact similar abusive tactics on everyone around her till the day she dies. While it's a misconception that people who suffer abuse often turn into abusers themselves (they simply just have a higher chance to commit crimes, anything from petty crimes to violent ones) there are undoubtedly cases where this does happen. A real life example is Douglas Spinx (HUGE TW; CSA & BESTIALITY). My point is: the portrayal of abuse victims in many different lights from people who can inflict harm unintentionally but with help and intervention can make recoveries to those who, in the rarest and saddest of cases, will turn to a full life of inflicting harm on others intentionally, is important - for someone like me, at least. Without the proper care or attention, horrible things like these can happen. I find this a very important thing to be open about.
Then we have Haiji. Haiji is supposed to be a "good guy". He's cowardly, yes, but he does fight to help the adults being killed. He attempts to bolster moral. But...despite having good intentions and even doing some good things, he's kind of horrible. After all, he's the one who contributed to Monaca's abuse and made her the way she is now. He's just like the kids except reversed; he thinks all children are evil because they're the ones killing everyone. And in his position, I do think most people would feel that way. I mean, if literally every kid in your area was wearing a helmet that turned them fuckin murderous and were killing all your friends and family would you, after enduring months of this, still bother to be like "not all kids though!". Likely not. Even though it is wrong, it is still a realistic way these things would pan out, much like how it did for the WoH. I mean, for a real life example, one need not look further than one of those extremist radical feminist blogs here on Tumblr that believes every single person born male is a brute. Most of those people believe that way because they have personally been hurt by one or several males in their lives, and y'know, fear and pain leads to hate and all of that.
Speaking of, I like the brainwashing in this game far more than in DR3 the anime (spoilers for that later on but tbqh DR3 is not worth anyone's time). I never liked brainwashing as a trope - I feel it is lazy. However, in DR:AE and DR1 they're utilized pretty well. In DR1 it's literally glossed over as "does it really matter? The outcome is more important than the means" which considering DR1, moreso than any other game in the series, is a satire and is supposed to focus on absurdity, I think having the brainwashing LITERALLY be hand-waved as "eh, it just happened" makes a lot of sense thematically with the goofy writing. But as you know, as DR went on, it became more and more serious with itself (for...better and worse...) in DR:AE, I like how the brainwashing affects only the nameless children. DR3's anime was lazy by having all the main characters get brainwashed by a funny little video, both in future&despair arc. In AE, it's a helmet. I think this makes much more sense as theoretically the helmet could be attached to the actual brains of these people. Plus, as said in the game, they blow up when the controller is destroyed, giving credence to that theory. The brainwashing in AE is not a vehicle to explain why main characters act the way they do. Rather, it's just a device used to create background conflict/build up the main villains, leaving the main characters to be affected by persuasion and manipulation (the objectively better version of "brainwashing").
Circling back to the WoH, outside of their thorough portrayals of abuse and standings as "villains who think they are doing the right thing", they're just fun. Like, legit, I just think they're fun. Outside of their trauma, they aren't very complex, but that's the point. The game is a commentary about abuse and how it affects you, the people around you, and the world. The WoH are not the characters meant to be developed and complex entities who undergo deep changes - that is left to our protagonists. As most series with static characters do, they assign each member a core personality. Every Warrior of Hope has a number of traits influenced by this personality (the "sporty" one, the "smart" one, etc) that make them vastly different from each other, making them not only distinct but just fun to watch their personalities clash. After all, if they were not bonded by their trauma, they probably wouldn't be friends at all. it's honestly like a Teen Titans situation in that way, and I've always loved stuff like that. Of course, their personalities are also heavily influenced by their trauma, again a realistic depiction of how trauma can and will change who you are as a person and present itself in many facets of your actions.
I THINK that's all my MAIN points. Suffice to say, DR:AE is my favorite game in the series. I think it's the most fun, has the best character developments and dynamics, I think its story is the most emotional and deep-cutting, and it really spoke to me during a time that I needed something like this to reach me. I won't say it's the best DR game in terms of overall narrative (that honor goes to SDR2) but it comes close. And I know not everyone will feel the same way about this game that I do. Thanks for this ask; yet another reminder I need to do my bi-yearly replay of this game.
(Footnote so I don't get "so you hate waffles"'d: my bringing real-life examples into this is not to say those instances are exactly like what happens in the video game nor to say they are on the same level of importance. Obviously real life is far more important and complex than anything that could happen in a game. I only bring them up to support my points about certain aspects being realistic by using, well, real life examples.)
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