#fun fact: in high school i loved that lyric so much

[enigma731]

it's 2am which means it's time to be unhinged about ALAYM for the millionth time in the past two decades but

with all the recent meta/interviews about Elphaba being able to see through Fiyero's mask, and his appreciation for her as she is, I'm feeling extra insane about "come be how you want to, and see how bright we shine"

I already knew this scene was going to kill me but now I'm pretty sure it will be that line in particular

[eddiezpaghetti]

Okay, so my experience with Stranger Things is a weird one.

I didn't care when it first came out, started to watch it out of "might as well" in 2020, wasn't interested in it enough to make it past S2, forgot about it outside of going "oh, hey, cool, there's a lesbian in it now, I guess," in S3, got really annoyed when "Running Up That Hill" got popular from it because it was a song I listened to on fucking loop after one of my best friends died in high school and I fully expected its appearance in the show to ignore the whole survivor's guilt theme of the song (and was very happy to learn later that it did the exact opposite of ignoring the lyrics), saw people drawing Eddie, suddenly got a lot more interested, watched just the fourth season like a fucking psychopath because I was seriously only there for Eddie, then got interested enough to start the show over properly, having mostly forgotten what I did watch of the show before.

And let me tell you something from the perspective of someone who started with the complete fourth season, who wasn't there from the start, who wasn't tainted by ship goggles or this internal battle of hope and despair, who wasn't theorizing about what the painting could be or expecting Mike and Will to kiss when Volume 2 happened or rooting for Mike and Eleven's relationship to go down in flames or whatever the fuck. Just someone who went blind into Season 4.

It's really fucking obvious that Will and Mike are gonna be endgame.

Like holy fuck. It's so fucking blatant I don't even know why people are nervous.

No sane fucking person would shoot this scene this way if they wanted the audience to care about El and Mike as a couple. Despite being all blurry in the background, Will's reaction to what's happening here is smackdab in the fucking middle, clearly showing that the important part is what's going through his head here. What he's feeling. It's like the opposite of that scene from Kingdom Hearts II where Sora and Riku reunite and Kairi just fucking vanishes into the aether while it's happening because, despite the fact that she was standing between them when the scene began, she doesn't matter to the scene, so she's just kind of gone when the camera angle changes. Will could have been behind one of their heads, or so far in the distance he blends in with the background, but he's not. He's so obvious that despite being massively blurred out, he's still the first goddamn thing you look at. What, you think that's an accident? You think he's in the middle of this dramatic fucking scene because of a mistake? He basically has a big flashing neon arrow pointing at him with "THIS IS THE POINT" being screamed through a megaphone.

And then this?

They're paired up like they're taking fucking prom pictures. Each one of these pairs is so fucking close to one another and so fucking far from everyone else. It's not, "Oh, they're standing vaguely near each other in a group shot," it's fucking Noah's Ark out here. Again, there's no way to take this as an accident. It's not just a framing issue. If they wanted to make the shot look balanced while still not hiding anyone else behind El, they would have scattered people around much more naturally. Even if they wanted to keep Nancy with Jonathan and Hopper with Joyce, there's so much room on that hill for three people to stand on El's left and three on her right. But they didn't do that. They put Mike and Will together on purpose in the most obvious way possible.

Like I get that coming up with crackpot theories is fun in and of itself and I'm not blaming anyone for having fun. I totally get the appeal of arguing a point and reaching for every stupid little thing to pull into it because it's like a game, okay? I've done that. But if you're trying to actually convince someone (whether it's someone who wants to believe or someone who's pissed at the very idea that Mike and Will could be in love), stay away from blue and yellow lights, stay away from costume design, stay away from the existence of closets in backgrounds. And don't worry about whether Mike's gay or bi when he's in love with Will either way. I'll give you a little tip about persuasion: You're only as strong as your weakest argument. Even if you've got strong stuff in there, too, the person you're trying to convince is going to dismiss anything you say as complete insanity the second you start going on an entire tangent about the shape of a character's fucking pocket.

Sometimes, clothes are just clothes. Sometimes, there's a closet in the background because it helps establish that a character is in a bedroom. Sometimes, blue and yellow are just a couple of colors that look nice together. And sure, it might be set designers and costume designers and cinematographers smirking and winking at the audience from behind the camera. But if the show was just those things, instead of those things in the context of everything else, they wouldn't be saying anything of note.

But this?

This tells a story all on its own. Someone with no context can look at this and automatically assume that each paired person is standing with someone they care about deeply, seeking comfort as they watch some sort of disaster unfold. And yeah, romantic couples usually come in twos, and we live in an amatonormative society, so that's going to be the first association anyone makes seeing a bunch of people paired off.

It's the same reason you look at this

And go, "Oh..."

"Those two are probably a couple."

And I genuinely don't understand how people could have watched S4 Vol. 2 and gotten scared. Because as someone who went in with no investment whatsoever, I just looked at these two--

--and went, "Oh, those two are a couple. Good for them." And I moved on. Shut up about the trees for five seconds and just see the forest for what it is.

Oh, and if you're still nervous? Little thing from a storyteller here: You don't leave a hanging thread like "Will confessed his romantic feelings for Mike by projecting them onto El, but Mike either didn't understand or at least didn't say he understood," without coming back to that later. That's Chekov's gun hanging on the wall, babes. It's gonna fire at some point. If Mike was going to reject Will's feelings, if they weren't relevant, they would have had that discussion in Argyle's van. There'd be no reason to leave you in suspense.

[forest-hashira]

Naked in Osaka

hi friends! this is my submission for @pixelcafe-network's "challenge friday" that they do every other week! the prompt this week was a random song selected by shuffle, and my assigned song was "Naked In Manhattan" by Chappell Roan, and after a bit of debate (& some help from friends), i decided to go with shoko for this fic. it's a quick thing, but it was fun! i hope to write more for female characters in the future, and this was a good jumping off point 💜

read on ao3 | wc: ~2.6k | cw: gender neutral reader (no pronouns used, but implied fem reader based on song lyrics), alcohol consumption, making out, implied smut at the end (kinda?), implied first sapphic experience (thus the pride divider), shoko calls reader "cute", minor background stsg

“Please leave your message after the tone.” Beep.

“Hey Sho, I know you just landed, and I know you're probably busy, but I would love to see you, so call me when you can.” 

You sighed softly to yourself as you ended the call, tucking your cellphone into your pocket. It wasn’t exactly a surprise that you’d gotten Shoko’s voicemail – she’d been out of the country on a trip and had only just gotten back – but it was still a bit of a disappointment. You hadn’t been able to see her much since you’d graduated from Jujutsu High together, since you’d moved to Osaka just a few weeks later. She was good about returning your calls and texts, so you tried not to think about it too much.

Despite how infrequently you got to see your friend in person, she never really left your thoughts. In fact, you probably thought about her more than was normal. The two of you had been pretty close in school, spending a lot of your time together, especially when Gojo and Geto were off on missions or otherwise wrapped up in each other. You’d been friends with the boys too, of course, but your one on one time with Shoko was where you formed all your best memories of your school years. Around third year was when you realized your fondness for the other girl may have been more than just platonic, but you never allowed yourself to dwell on it or bring it up to Shoko, telling yourself it was no different than the way the boys felt or acted around each other, so there couldn’t be anything weird about it.

Then again, the boys had gone on to start dating after graduation, and last you’d heard they’d gotten engaged, so… Maybe it was worth revisiting those feelings again.

The sound of your phone ringing pulled you out of your thoughts, and when you saw Shoko’s contact picture – a slightly blurry selfie she’d sent you nearly a year ago while she was out getting drinks with her friends in Tokyo, her cheeks a little flushed and a soft smile tugging at her lips – on the screen, you felt your cheeks begin to burn, as if you’d been caught doing something you shouldn’t.

“Hey.”

“What are you doing tonight?” Shoko asked, and you couldn’t help but smile. Your conversations with her never really seemed to stop or start; instead, it was more like you’d been having one long conversation with her from the day you’d met.

“Nothing,” you told her, idly beginning to pace your room. “What’s up?”

“Figured I’d come see you if you were free. That okay?”

You bit your lip for a moment, suddenly feeling very flustered. “I-I, uh… Yeah! Yeah, that’s fine. That sounds great, actually.” It was obvious even to you that you were stumbling over your words, and you cringed slightly at how weird you sounded.

Shoko only chuckled quietly at you. “Careful,” she teased, “if you act too excited you might give me a bigger head than Gojo.”

That made you laugh. “As if that could ever happen.”

“You’re right,” she agreed, her words airy with laughter. “Does that udon place down the street from you still do carryout?”

“Yeah, as far as I know.”

“Cool. I’ll cover dinner if you’ll cover drinks.”

“Wine or sake?”

“Surprise me.”

She hung up without saying goodbye, though that wasn’t unusual. You glanced at the time, and though you knew you had a few hours before she’d be there even if she’d already been on the train when she called you, you already felt like you were running out of time for all the things you needed to do before she arrived. 

After a few moments of internal scrambling, you figured out a rough order of operations: popping into the liquor store to grab Shoko’s favorite wine, then a mad dash to make your apartment presentable, then finally a shower before she arrived. The trip to the store didn’t take very long, and you tucked the two bottles of wine you’d grabbed into your freezer to chill while you cleaned and got ready. 

Thankfully, your apartment wasn’t as much of a mess as you’d convinced yourself it was, so cleaning it didn’t take long at all, and you were able to hop in the shower within an hour of getting off the phone. The last thing you wanted was to smell when you saw your friend for the first time in over a year, and you knew you were sweating from nerves. It was ridiculous to be nervous about seeing her, you knew that, but this time felt different, somehow. Maybe it was because you’d been wondering earlier that day if you really did have feelings for Shoko.

Whatever the reason was, you were desperate not to smell like nervous sweats.

After thoroughly scrubbing yourself with your best-smelling body wash, you hurried to your bedroom to get dressed. Overwhelmed with options, you threw on some underwear and paced your room, feeling like a nervous teenager.

It’s just Shoko, you reminded yourself, sitting down on your rug. She’s not gonna care what you’re wearing as long as you’re wearing something. A soft groan escaped you then, and you flopped onto your back and covered your face with your hands.

Your pity party came to an abrupt end when your phone chimed. Pushing yourself up just enough to grab it from your bed, you saw a text from Shoko, letting you know her train was about to arrive, and that she’d be at your apartment in half an hour at most. 

The message made your heart flip in your chest. How long have I been laying here? How long was I in the shower?? Instead of letting her in on your internal panic, you shot back a simple “see you soon!” text, then leapt up from the floor, scrambling to find clothes that were comfortable but also somewhat presentable. Eventually you settled on a pair of pajama shorts and a loose t-shirt, then stepped into the bathroom to make sure your hair wasn’t a complete disaster.

You’d only just finished putting your hair out of your face in a way you were satisfied with when you heard a knock at the door. Heart skipping a beat again, you took a deep breath to steady yourself, then hurried to answer the door.

Shoko stood there with a small smile on her face, an overnight bag slung over her shoulder and the takeout in her other hand. “Long time no see,” she greeted, stepping inside as you moved aside. “Is it cool if I go change real quick?” She set the takeout on your table as she spoke, then turned to you and arched a brow slightly.

“Yeah, of course. I’ll get the drinks out and everything while you do that.”

Her smile widened the tiniest bit. “Perfect.”

She made her way to your bathroom with her overnight bag, and as she shut the door, you pulled a bottle of wine from the freezer and two glasses from the cabinet. They weren’t fancy, and they didn’t match, but you told yourself it was better than drinking out of plastic cups.

Once the glasses were out, you opened the bottle, pouring a fair amount into each of the glasses, though one had a bit more; Shoko’s tolerance had always been a bit higher than yours, so you were sure she would want to drink more than you did to make sure you had the same buzz. 

You had just started pulling the takeout from the bag when Shoko came back from getting changed, and your heart fluttered a bit when you saw her. She wore a tank top with a big picture of Gudetama in the middle and a pair of yellow shorts to match. It reminded you of the pajama sets Gojo had gotten everyone when you were in high school – Cinnamoroll for himself, Kuromi for Geto, Badtz-Maru for Shoko, and Keroppi for you – though you knew it wasn’t the same set from back then, since she wore a different character now. 

“You’re staring,” Shoko teased, bumping you lightly with her hip once she was standing beside you. “Do I really look that hot in my pajamas?”

Though her words left you feeling more than a little flustered, you just scoffed at her and rolled your eyes. “They remind me of the ones Gojo got us when we were in school, that’s all.” 

“He got me these ones, too,” she said with a small chuckle. “They were for my birthday last year.”

“Why’d he pick a different character than the one he picked when we were in school?”

“He said the penguin reminds him too much of Megumi now,” she said with a shrug, and you both laughed. You could see the resemblance too, though; both had the spiky black hair and the deadpan expression, and imagining Gojo telling the boy that nearly made you die laughing all over again, but you kept it to yourself for the moment.

Just as comfortable in your home as she was in her own, Shoko opened a few of your kitchen drawers, grabbing soup spoons and chopsticks for the both of you. “We should watch a movie while we eat.”

“What do you want to watch?” you asked curiously, carrying the takeout to your living room and setting it on your coffee table.

“What was that American movie we watched all the time in school?” she asked, following after you with the utensils and wine. “It was about those high school girls who wore pink.”

“Mean Girls?”

“Yeah, Mean Girls!” she grinned, setting everything down before sitting on the floor, gesturing for you to join her. “God, I don’t know how we never got sick of that movie.”

“Because Regina George was hot,” you replied without thinking about it.

The words drew a laugh from her, and she bumped you with her shoulder. “Glad I’m not the only one who thinks so.”

A small, relieved chuckle left you at her teasing words. “I’m sure we could stream it somewhere if you wanna watch it again.”

“Please, I could use a good throwback.” She took a long sip from her glass, then opened the lid on her bowl of udon.

With a nod, you grabbed the remote for your TV, sipping from your own glass as you flipped through various streaming services looking for the movie. Eventually you found it, not even caring that you had to pay to watch it; it was worth it to have a night in with your friend, especially when you knew it would make her laugh and smile more.

Once the movie had started, you finally got into your own food. You smiled when you saw that Shoko had gotten your order perfect without even asking. She’d memorized it in school, but it made butterflies flutter in your stomach a bit to know that she’d never forgotten it, even after so much time apart.

For the most part it was quiet as you watched the movie, only the soft sounds of occasional slurping and the faint clinging noise of glass on glass when Shoko topped up your wine glasses. Every once in a while, one of you would make a small comment or joke, or you’d quote the lines along with the movie before bursting out laughing. It felt like being back in school, huddled in one of your dorm beds, sharing drinks from a flask shoko had managed to sneak on campus.

At some point, you set your glass down after finishing the contents. It had been your second glass – or maybe your second? Shoko had topped you up enough times that it was hard to be sure – and was enough to have everything feeling a little fuzzy around the edges. Leaning back against your couch, you turned your head towards the other woman, smiling to yourself as you watched her, rather than the movie.

She’s so pretty… even prettier than when we were in school. When did she get so pretty?

“I’ve always been this pretty.”

Shoko’s words startled you a bit, and though it took your brain a moment to catch up, you realized she was responding to your thoughts. Only… you must have said all of them out loud, rather than just in your head. The realization had your face burning with embarrassment. “Oh my god, Sho, I—”

“It’s okay,” she assured you with a smile. She settled into the same position as you, turning to face you a bit. “‘M glad you think I’m pretty. Always thought you were cute, too.”

The whole world came to a screeching halt around you. “…You did?”

“Yeah,” she said easily, brushing her hair out of her eyes. Her words weren’t slurred, but you could see that her movements were loosened a bit from the wine. “Thought you knew that.”

“No, I… How would I have known? You never said anything.”

“I saw the way you looked at me. Thought you’d only look at me like that if you knew.”

You blinked, confused, and more than a little worried. “…How did I look at you?”

Her expression softened at that. “The same way I caught Gojo staring at Geto when Geto wasn’t looking, before they got together.”

The words sent a mixture of shame and hope swirling around your tipsy mind, and before you could really contemplate your next move, you heard yourself asking, “Can I kiss you?”

Shoko’s cheeks flushed a bit, and she nodded, shifting closer and wrapping her arm around your waist. Your eyes widened as she came into your space, and when you felt her breath on your lips, your own finally started cooperating with you again.

“I’ve never kissed a girl before.”

“I’ll teach you,” was Shoko’s only response before she kissed you. She was surprisingly warm, and it only took a second for your eyes to slip shut and for you to melt into her, returning her kiss eagerly. As she kissed you, everything else in the world faded away, the only sensation you were aware of was the feeling of her lips on yours.

It didn’t take long for her to press in closer, tilting her head a bit to deepen the kiss. Stumbling and a bit inexperienced, you did your best to move with her. She held you closer with the arm around your waist, her free hand coming up to cup your cheek, guiding your movements the tiniest bit. Time slowed and stretched out, the moment between you endless in the best possible way. You weren’t entirely sure when her tongue came into the mix, but next thing you knew you were parting your lips to let her in. 

A small sound escaped you as she deepened the kiss further, turning slightly to press you both into the couch a bit more. Still struggling to keep up because of the alcohol in your bloodstream, the movement threw you off a bit. Reluctantly, you pulled away for a moment, needing desperately to catch your breath. 

Shoko smiled down at you as you panted, faces only inches apart. “How was that for your first kiss with a girl?”

“I really wanna kiss you again.”

She laughed softly. “Is kissing all you wanna do tonight?” She arched a brow curiously, her thumb tracing your bottom lip lightly. 

“I don’t know how to do anything else,” you breathed, “but I'd love to learn.”

“Looks like I've got some teaching to do, then. Lesson one: kissing with tongue.” She leaned in again, capturing your lips in another passionate kiss. You were more than willing to let her take the lead, though; there was no one else you’d rather have teach you everything, anyways.

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[tulip-room]

❀⚘Melody⚘❀

Pairing: Kita x Reader

Content: When you meet your soulmate a song plays in your head. Thanks to your childhood friend, you meet your soulmate.

Words: 1.5k

A/N: This isn't my favorite thing I've written but I'm still happy with it. I hope you guys enjoy it <3

From the moment you wake up to the moment you go to sleep your head buzzes. It’s not disruptive, it’s a gentle humming of a song you can never quite make out. You just have to hope and wait to find your soulmate, then the metaphorical radio in your head will flip a switch and you’ll be able to hear the song. Some people get lucky and the first friend they make flips the switch in their head, if only you had been so lucky. But, part of you is happy it wasn’t your first friend. The thought of looking at him in such a light makes you grimace.

Suna Rinataro had been your first friend, in preschool you had been too shy to introduce yourself to anyone else and so the two of you were attached at the hip. You made more friends through him but he would always be your best friend and you would be his. Unfortunately, right before high school your parents got new job offers and you had to move. Move away from your first friend and start over. It was less than ideal. You knew that Suna was going to join the volleyball team so with hope of maybe seeing your friend at nationals you signed up to manage the volleyball team at your school.

Over time they became part of your family, you were okay with the fact that you had moved. If you hadn’t you never would have met these people. You still hadn’t found your soulmate, the person who would make your head fill with a symphony og lyrics yet to be heard. But you figured that was okay for now. 

“Yamamoto, leave the poor girls alone,” you sigh and push the boy away from Karasuno’s manager’s, Kiyoko and Yachi. It was always an experience when the two teams met up. Almost as chaotic as when they met up with Fukurodani, almost.

“It’s not fair! Why do they get two pretty managers?” 

“Because Kiyoko is in her third year and she needs to train someone to take her place. Just like I’ll need to do next year.” You roll your eyes with another sigh. “Now, let’s all get inside. I have plans but need to make sure you guys don’t cause trouble first.” 

“Oho~ what plans are those oh lovely manager?” Kuroo teases as he leans towards you. Although the rest of the team tries to pretend they aren’t interested they aren’t very good at hiding it. 

“I’m meeting up with one of my friends. You know, like I do every year.” 

“Oh! That Inarizaki boy! Don’t you want to spend time with us?” Kuroo frowns playfully and shakes your shoulders a little bit. 

“I will hang out with you guys tomorrow, this is one of the few times I get to hang out with him outside of breaks so shoo.” You shoo the team off towards the hotel you’ll all be staying at. With them all filed into their hotel rooms you change into casual clothes, complete with your Nekoma track jacket and head to the lobby to meet Suna. Your teams managed to book the same hotel this year so it would be much easier to meet up with him. 

You were a bit surprised to see he wasn’t alone. The twins were with him as he played on his phone and leaned against the wall. It was clear they were trying to make fun of him for something, what you couldn’t say yet.

“Come on Sunarin, just tell us who you’re meeting!” Atsumu whined and poked at Suna’s cheek. 

You lift an eyebrow and stop in front of the group of boys. All three of their heads snap towards you. “Oh? And who are you? Are you lost?”

You scoff and shake your head. “Not lost, just here to collect my best friend thanks.” Your eyes roll not wanting to deal with the nonsense you heard follows the twins everywhere they go. Ever since you had arrived at the hotel there had been a steady hum of music slightly louder than usual. You’re glad to see it wasn’t either of the twins who were causing the rise in volume. 

“Sunarin! Why didn’t you tell us you were sneaking out to meet Nekoma’s adorable manager?” This time Osamu supplies, more amused with teasing Suna than anything else. “Are they your soulmate?” That makes you laugh.

“No, he’s not my soulmate. It would’ve been much easier if he was. Still static up in this head.” You knock lightly on your head. 

“Well, as awful as it is keeping you two company I’m going out. I’ll be back later, if Kita asks you can tell him the truth.” Suna shrugs and pushes himself off the wall. The two of you leave the building and take a walk around the city. 

“So who’s Kita?”

“The captain, he’s a really nice guy. I’ll introduce you if he comes down when we get back.” You bump him with you hip.

“Not worried I’ll steal him away?”

Suna rolls his eyes but smiles slightly. “Nah, it’d be good for you if he was your soulmate. I wasn’t exaggerating when I said he was nice. He’s a really good guy and excuse me for being sappy,” he fake gags. “He’s someone I would be happy with dating my best friend. You two would be good together, you’re relaxed and he cares about structure. Taking a bit from both of you seems like a good mix.” He shrugs and you punch his arm lightly.

“Suna Rinataro! You big softy!”

“Tell anyone and I will tell them what happened in first grade.” Your cheeks heat up and you shake your head.

“Your secret is safe with me.” You give him a small salute. 

By the time the two of you got back it wasn’t too late, you had only stayed out for an hour. Just did some shopping and got a late snack. Your team is sitting in the lobby chatting and eating snacks of their own. You wave at them and Kuroo wiggles his eyebrows which makes you shake your head.

“I’ll walk you back to your room and then see what these idiots are doing,” you sigh and start heading to the elevator with Suna. 

“It’s not too late and Kita’s staying right across from me. I could introduce you guys if you want.”

“It seems like you’re trying to set me up.” You give Suna a look.

“I just trust him to not break your heart.” You smile at him after he says that and follow him down the hall. He knocks on a door and the music in your head gets louder and louder before you can suddenly hear lyrics. A boy with white hair and dark tips opens the door. He seems just as shocked as you are. You both just stand there staring at each other for a moment.

“Excuse me, I’m Kita Shinsuke.” He holds his hand out for you to shake. 

“Y/N L/N,” you shake his hand. 

“Oh, Suna’s best friend.”

“He really talks about me like that?” You throw Suna a questioning look to see he’s already looking at you two in confusion. “Seems he should’ve introduced us sooner.” And suddenly the light in Suna’s head goes off. 

“I’ll leave you two it then.” He walks to the door on the opposite side of the hall and slips into the room. You both shake your heads at his reaction and Kita moves to the side to invite you into the room.

“Being the captain has its privileges.” He says with a small smile as you enter the room. You see just how clean and organized everything is, he even has his suitcase organized. 

“I get it, being the one and only manager also has it’s own privileges.” You point at the couch. “Can I?”

Kita nods and sits down next to you. “So, I’ve already heard a little about you from Suna, it seems he is quite fond of you.”

“I suppose that happens when you were someone’s first friend and they were your’s,” you say with a small laugh. 

“You have a very pretty laugh.”

“Thank you, you have a very pretty everything.” Now both of your faces are red. 

“Would you be okay with me taking you out tomorrow? You’re more than welcome to say no if you do not feel comfortable.”

“I would be happy to go out with you Kita.”

“Shinsuke, please. You are my soulmate after all, I feel we can skip some of the pleasantries. Just this once,” he jokes. 

“Okay, just this once,” you joke back with a smile. You see the clock on the table and sigh at the time. “It’s getting late and you have a game tomorrow. I’ll see you around Shinsuke.” You smile standing up from the couch.

“Would it be too much to ask to get your number?”

“No, that would be lovely.” You smile and take your fan out handing it to him. The song in your head is still playing in the background, it’s quieter than when you first met the man but you can still hear it clearly. You’ll have to thank Suna in the morning for being so insistent on introducing you to his captain. For now you head back downstairs after trading numbers with the boy to tell the good news to the boys.

rules masterlist

[inkpot909]

The Stardust Crusaders’ Picks for a First-Dance Wedding Song Headcanons

↳ Gender Neutral Reader. Joseph Joestar is excluded.

A/n: A chill list of headcanons that came to me at 6 in the morning. Jokes aside, I loved putting this together. Although I admit I am a bit biased since I’ve always loved retro music. I did my best to pick music that coincided with the music the characters each canonically listen to (at least, as far as we’re told).

Warning(s): None.

Jotaro Kujo

-> As the World Falls Down

David Bowie

“As the pain sweeps through

Makes no sense for you

Every thrill is gone

Wasn’t too much fun at all

But I’ll be there for you

As the world falls down”

Canonically speaking, Jotaro’s favorite musician is Toshinobu Kubota. It’s admittedly a rather interesting choice for a man who was a dedicated delinquent in high school.

But music tends to touch people in a special, often times sensitive, manner. And despite looking and acting the way he does, Jotaro’s music preferences are no different.

Yeah, sure, he’s definitely a “whatever’s on the radio” kind of guy, but he has taste.

Separated from others, when he’s in control of the music he’s listening to, his choices give the impression of a casual listener that somehow always has the best picks seemingly with no effort put in at all. Perfectly on brand for Jotaro.

Therefore, he’s likely going to have an unexpected pick.

Therefore, he picks a sappy ballad from an under-appreciated 80s movie. Not because he’s even seen The Labyrinth by any stretch of the imagination, but because he just… likes how it sounds.

He likely heard it one way or another, completely detached from the movie itself, and decided he enjoyed it. Something about the slightly cheesy yet instrumentally enchanting tune gets stuck in his head in a really good way.

There is a reason past “oh, it just sounds nice” as to why he picked it but let’s be honest… he’s going to get a little embarrassed annoyed if he has to explain to you in full detail.

The title pretty much speaks for itself, in his opinion.

Noriaki Kakyoin

-> Every Breath You Take

The Police

“Every move you make

And every vow you break

Every smile you fake

Every claim you stake

I’ll be watching you”

Good god, he’s certainly the Sting fan.

Whether or not you actually like Sting it’s hard to argue against the fact that Kakyoin likely has an overall shit taste in music. Why is this the case? Because he’s been alone the majority of his life and didn’t have any friends to bully him over it.

Not having anyone around him to say “what the hell is this” or just a simple “no” will and has effected him.

He’s the type of guy who claim’s “this album will change your life” before putting on some of the worst pieces of music you’ve ever heard.

Not that he isn’t trying, keep in mind.

This man will stress about what to suggest for days on end. He’s going to take the longest compared to the others in how how much time it takes him to pick. It’ll eat away at his brain, threatening to take every bit of his sanity unless he can think of what he deems as the perfect song he can choose.

And still he manages to not only choose an extremely predictable wedding song, but an insanely creepy one as well.

It’s weirdly charming, in his own odd Noriaki way.

He likely didn’t know what he was doing at the beginning of the relationship due to inexperience, and it’s probably heartwarming to know some things never change.

And it’s completely possible the stalker-ish lyrics of the song didn’t click inside his brain. Not because he doesn’t understand the lyrics per se… but because the poor guy hardly had a grasp on what was actually considered romantic when you first met.

Please, for your own sanity, don’t let the song played at your wedding be one that he picked (with hindsight he’ll probably thank you for it too).

Jean Pierre Polnareff

-> The Air That I Breathe

The Hollies

“Peace came upon me and it

leaves me weak

so sleep, silent angel, go to

sleep

Sometimes

All I need is the air that I breathe

And to love you”

Polnareff’s favorite musician isn’t ever canonically specified, but it’s made pretty clear he’s likely a fan of The Beatles. And considering he went through puberty during the 70s, he’s likely going to lean into that era of music.

Generally speaking, he’s got decent taste. Sure, he’s got the music taste of a white suburban father, but his picks are usually pretty agreeable.

That said, he’s definitely a little high and mighty about it.

He won’t go off on the subject too hard whenever you’re around, but he thinks very highly of his preferences. Polnareff’s a huge victim of nostalgia, and a part of him feels a little elitist for having grown up in the time period that he did.

He has had the song for his first dance picked out in the back of his mind for years, swearing that it would be played at his wedding at some point or another.

Hell, he’s probably got a full roster of music in mind for the reception.

For such a monumental occasion, he’s sure to pick a ballad that starts off slow but crescendos into the chorus- easily the type of romantic tune he’d prefer.

And unlike the others, you may get pushback from him if you don’t want that as your first dance. He’s quite stubborn, generally speaking, and this is no exception to that.

Ultimately though, he would eventually cave and do just about anything you want.

But as stated before, he’s had his mind set on this one for literal years. So certainly expect this to be a somewhat tough conversation to have with him if you prefer something different.

Muhammad Avdol

-> I Love How You Love Me

Claudine Longet

“I love how your eyes close

whenever you kiss me

And when I’m away from you I

love how you miss me

I love the way you always treat

me tenderly

But, darling, most of all I love

how you love me”

Avdol’s music taste is left as a complete mystery in canon.

However, because he runs his own shop, he’s fairly attached to the calming instrumentals he often keeps on at the store. Avdol understands atmosphere well and takes it very seriously.

When he’s not working, it’s not very often that he finds himself listening to music.

But when he does, it’s usually music with soft or ethereal overtones (you cannot tell me he doesn’t listen to Enya). Throw in some charming oldies from the 50s and 60s, and Avdol’s in his element.

To put it simply, easy-listening tunes are his freaking jam.

He also enjoys listening to music from all across the world. Avdol is likely well-traveled, and is undoubtedly knowledgeable on other places and cultures. So the preference comes naturally to him.

He’s going to pick something very romantic and slow. A song that, even if you maybe haven’t heard it before, upon the first time listening you just know it’s meant to be played at a wedding.

And, unlike the others, it would take him less than 24 hours to have made his choice. It’s not that he doesn’t put care into the decision, he just doesn’t like making you wait. He’s quite efficient when it’s something this important.

Regardless, he’s the most flexible of the group when it comes to your tastes, so anything you want is perfectly fine with him.

That said, it has to be a ballad. That’s his main request. Avdol’s eager for your input, sure, but he’s going to want to slow dance with you more than anything else.

[franciswasteland]

TECH!LEO VALDEZ X THEATER KID!READER

MASTERLIST

Summary: You land the role of Veronica Sawyer in a musical your high school is putting on, and your tech boyfriend tries to be supportive and reassure you when you need it.

Warnings: Highschool!au, Mortal!au,already dating fic, Beware spelling errors, im lowkey dyslexic. I DONT KNOW HOW TO END FICS….

Authors Notes: HIII GUYS IM ACTUALLY REALLY EXCITED TO WRITE THIS I LOVE LEO SO MUCH. ALSO THIS IS PARTLY FOR SOME DISCORD FRIENDS !! Possibly not canon written Leo 😭🙏

You were in the drama/theater club at your high school, often appearing as the leading or supporting roles in musicals your school would put on in the auditorium. It was amazing, both fun and something you were good at! But what made it even better was one of the tech kids, Leo Valdez—Who was your boyfriend!

A few weeks ago, you scored one of the lead roles—Veronica Sawyer—in a musical your school was putting on called ‘Heathers’. But, there was a rather… intimate scene with another character, Veronica’s love interest, in the show during the song ‘Dead Girl Walking’, and Leo tried to tolerate it and support you the best he could, but it was getting a little unbearable for him.

“Baby…” Leo whined as you ranted to him about your role in the musical, even though you should have been practicing your lines. “Shouldn’t you be, uh, practicing or something?” He didn't want to send you away like that, but he could go on hearing you talk about that scene.

“Sorry, sorry, you’re right. I’ll go practice my lines. Thanks for the reminder. Love you, bye!” You say apologetically, kissing his cheek quickly (If any teacher or adult at the school saw you do that you’d probably get detention.) and running out from backstage where you were talking to Leo as he worked on… Whatever he does.

It was a few hours from the first showing of the show as your high school was doing a morning and afternoon show. You were backstage getting ready, changing into costume, and makeup, making sure you had your lines completely memorized and you could hit each note in the songs—Which you could. Expect you couldn’t help but be a bit worried about this. Sure, you had played so many roles before throughout the years you’ve been in high school, but you were worried about little things, a lot of little things which slowly added up to become one big thing for you to worry about—Making sure you’d sing the school appropriate version of the lyrics, making sure you wouldn’t blank on stage (How embarrassing would that be?!), making sure you were perfect.

Then you got an idea.

There was one person that you knew for sure thought you were perfect. Your boyfriend, Leo! Of course, you’d be able to get reassurance from him! So naturally you ran—Not too fast though, you couldn’t ruin your costume—off from where you were sat to find him.

It didn’t take you long to find Leo, he was exactly where you had expected him to be after all. “Leo!” You called out as you walked up to him, placing one of your hands on his arm so he would turn around to face you. And he in fact did turn around and face you like you had suspected he would.

“What is it?” He asked, sounding confused. He thought you would be getting ready for the musical, not running up to him for a chat. “Did ya miss me that bad you had to stop getting ready to come find me?” He added with a short chuckle, gaining a smile.

“Nono,—Well yes, but that’s not why I came to find you.” You replied, worry practically seeping through your words the more you spoke. Leo noticed almost immediately.

Your hand was still on his arm, Leo put his hand on top of yours. “Wow, I’m hurt.” He teased. “Well then, what is it? Whatcha need?” That was one of the things you loved about Leo; he always seemed to know when you were worried or upset about something, even if he didn’t know how to comfort you.

“I dunno, I guess I’m just nervous about this. I’m scared of messing up on stage.” You admit to him, and Leo seems to immediately understand what you mean. “Oh, don’t worry about it. You’ll do great, trust me.”

Then, when you were finally getting that reassurance from your boyfriend, it was about roughly 15-to-20 minutes until curtain—Until you would be on stage. Oh, brother.

You were feeling a little more better as you rushed back to the backstage area of the auditorium, Leo’s words ringing in your ears. The backstage was suddenly not as easy to navigate as it was before you ran off to find your boyfriend. People—Either in the show themselves or apart of tech like Leo—Were running around, trying to make sure the preparations were all set and everything was ready for the first showing of the musical.

Then you got told by one of the tech team members to get in your place on stage.

After about 2 and a half hours, the morning show of your high schools performance of ‘Heathers The Musical’ was over. You bowed before the audience, sweating, your throat sore and hurting from singing for almost 2 hours straight. At this point, all you could think of was the bottle of water that was waiting for you by your bag backstage.

As soon as the curtain closed, you ran off stage to where you had set your bag in desire of the bottle of water you had gotten before hand. And there it was waiting for you, along with Leo, your boyfriend.

“See? What did I tell you? You did amazing, just like I said you would.” Leo said, wrapping one of his arms around you, seemingly not minding the fact that you were practically covered in sweat.

“Yeah yeah, I know,” You groan in reply. “Just lemme grab my water before you start praising me.” You let out a dry laugh, —Dry to the fact that your throat was now killing you. You reached out your hand for your bottle of water, but Leo grabbed it before you could. You thought he would hold on to it tightly and reach his hand up high, making you reach even farther for it, but he didn’t. Instead, he opened it for you and handed it to you, seemingly recognizing how tired you were after performances.

“You look tired,” Leo mused, knowing exactly where this was going to go. After most shows and performances, you would be tired and feel miserable. So miserable and tired that you would just crash in his arms. “Come here..” He said, opening his arms for you to fall into. You quickly leaned your whole body against him, leaning into his arms.

“Thank you,”

[mumms-the-word]

Hello my lovely friend!

I've chosen a song from one of my favourite musicals for you!

Hopefully it sparks some inspiration (I love this song I think i't so much fun)

Enjoy! <3

HELLO MY LOVE this is very late but I had fun writing it, so I hope that you enjoy it <3

(fun fact for those who don't know, which is probably most people, I am an avid broadway nerd and I listened to Wicked like...ad nauseam in my middle school/high school days so the minute I saw the title I had this song immediately in my head, which was very fun. As soon as I ran a few of the lyrics in my head I knew exactly what I had to write)

Anyways without further ado, I gift you with (drumroll pls)...some more Blackstaff Librarian x Gale fic ;)

under the cut and also on ao3 now

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Loathing

Gale x Blackstaff Librarian

After their initial encounter on the librarian's first day at Blackstaff Academy, Gale and the librarian now have fairly low opinions of one another. They both decide to vent to their parents about the other person (as one does when they hate someone).

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

“Gale, darling, so good of you to join us for tea! Let me have a look at you. We haven’t seen you in a tenday, you know.”

Gale smiled and bent to exchange a strong, rib-cracking hug with his mother, the inimitable Morena Dekarios. He kissed her cheek as a greeting before letting her take his face in her hands so she could scrutinize him.

“Forgive me, Mother, the academy has required much of my attention the last several days,” Gale said, as Morena pursed her lips as she studied him.

“Have they been working you too hard? You look peaky.”

“I’ve been telling him that for days, Mrs. Dekarios,” Tara said, padding into the room. “He simply refuses to take care of himself.”

“Tara,” he chided, giving her a look. He took his mother’s hands and pulled them away from his face, squeezing them briefly. “I feel fine, I assure you.”

“Hmm.” She clearly didn’t believe him, but she let it go for now. “Well if you insist. Come, come have a seat, I’ll have tea ready in a moment. I want to hear all about how things are going over at the Academy.”

Gale blew out a long breath as he followed his mother onto her balcony and took a seat at the table there. “Where to start? We have a new librarian, for one.”

“Oh? Not another tired old Candlekeep retiree is it?” 

“No. No, she’s…young. Nearer my age.” Gale tried to picture her in his mind’s eye, to try and guess her age, and then quickly decided against it. The less he thought about the librarian, the better. 

“Oh?” Morena‘s eyes brightened with interest at that little fact. “Hold that thought, darling, I want to hear everything.”

She disappeared back inside to fetch the tea things while Tara hopped up onto the cushions that were stacked in her seat. That place at the table had been her teatime spot practically since the day Gale first summoned her. Though the cushions and chairs had been replaced over time, they were always placed in the exact same spot, with the cushions stacked at just the right height for her to comfortably look over the table’s edge and indulge in a spot of tea. 

Gale leaned closer to her and lowered his voice. “You haven’t said a word to my mother about our new librarian, have you?”

“I don’t know what you mean, Mr. Dekarios,” Tara said, licking at her paws to clean them for teatime. “Why would I talk about librarians of all things to your mother?”

The answer didn’t exactly allay any of Gale’s suspicions, but he let it go as Morena returned with the tea tray all prepped, including a plate of Gale’s favorite sandwiches and a shallow bowl for Tara's tea. She poured them each a cup and insisted Gale eat something before finally settling in her chair and taking a sip of her own tea. 

“So,” she said, cradling her cup in her hands and leaning forward slightly, her eyes sparkling with interest. “Tell me all about this new librarian.”

“Well, for starters, she’s only been with us for a tenday and she’s already caused quite a…stir.” He frowned, recalling how she frog-marched him out of the library in front of a crowd of students and colleagues. “On her first day at the Academy she refused to let anyone into the library while she was ‘cataloguing’ and kicked out anyone who dared to enter. Ever since then things have only gotten worse.” 

“How so?”

“Well, she—she’s come up with this ridiculous new organization system for the books and it’s taken her days to rearrange everything. Now no one knows where to find anything and we’re all forced to ask her for assistance, which she seems to find exceedingly annoying.” 

Though perhaps it was only when he asked that she got annoyed. He ignored that thought for now.

“Her new system doesn’t make the slightest flicker of sense,” he complained. He should have left off two or three sentences ago, but he was getting worked up now, all warm under his collar. “It’s been a disaster. I’ve taken to hoarding books I need in my study just to keep track of them. Honestly, I don’t know what the Blackstaff was thinking, giving her the job—she has completely upended the entire academy with her little project to reorganize the library. She has delayed everyone’s studies in the process and she is maddeningly unhelpful if you ever try to talk to her. Most unprofessional, in my opinion. In fact, I think she is without a doubt the most infuriating woman I think I have ever met.”

“Oh dear, that does sound like a torment,” Morena said, though the way she smiled behind her next sip of tea suggested she was more amused than sympathetic. “How much are you forced to interact with her?”

“If I had my way it would be never,” Gale huffed. “But unfortunately the reorganization of the library has taken over her main office as well. Blackstaff Vajra has temporarily given her the empty study adjoining mine, so it is impossible to escape her entirely, now that we share a common room.”

“Roommates, is it?” Morena teased, smiling broadly. “I can’t recall the last time you were forced to share a room with anyone.”

“At Blackstaff? It must have been ages ago.”

He had shared camps and tavern rooms with his companions, back when he’d had an illithid tadpole in his brain and the entire world needed saving from a Netherbrain. But this was different.

After Gale returned to Blackstaff, he’d been given one of two empty studies clustered around a common room for use as his teaching office. But now Gale’s days of having both study and common room entirely to himself were over. Now, whenever he tried to enjoy a relaxing cup of tea or reinvigorate himself with a cup of coffee and a good book, she was there, passing through with arms full of books, her curls falling out of whatever hairstyle she had attempted to wrangle them into. Each and every time, she took one look at him behind her wire-framed glasses, glared, stuck her pert little nose up in the air, and stalked away. Before he could even so much as say hello or good evening.

Not that he wanted to, of course.

Any interest he had in her, any intrigue he might have felt, was quickly dissolving into pure and utter loathing. She was surly, rude, and waspish, she had no patience for simple conversation, and no care for the sheer amount of disruption she was causing across the entire Academy. Every time she saw him with a book in his hands, she glared. Every time they passed in the hallway, she glared. Every time he stepped into her chaotically catalogued library, she glared!

When he was fairly certain he hadn’t done anything reprehensible to her! She seemed to hate him simply for existing.

Her name was on everyone’s lips these days, to the point where he felt he couldn’t escape it. If she wasn’t there in front of him taunting him with her hazel-eyed glares, he was forced to hear of her while eating in the dining hall, trying to teach his classes, monitoring students during study hall, and even relaxing with his colleagues at the Yawning Portal. There was no escape from the Blackstaff Librarian. Not even in his own teaching study.

“And of course I’m expected to put up with it as the newest professor at the academy,” Gale finished, throwing up his hands, having related all of this to his mother as well. “Ridiculous.”

“Yes, dear, and it’s so good of you to martyr yourself by sharing rooms with her," Morena said, hiding another smile behind a sip of tea.

“What is that supposed to mean? And why are you smiling like that?” he asked, growing frustrated with her now too. The whole time he had complained, she continued to smile and chuckle and sit with her cheek leaning against her hand, a fond and amused look in her eyes.

“Oh, no reason.” Morena finished off her tea before lowering her cup back onto its saucer, that same smile still on her lips. She exchanged a subtle look with Tara, who gave a little amused squint of her eyes and then delicately pretended to be busy washing her face.

"You can't fool me so easily, Mother," he said. “What are you thinking?”

“Nothing much, darling. I am only thinking that I should like to invite her over for tea.” She leaned back in her chair, her hands folded comfortably over her middle, and let her gaze trail off in the vague direction of Blackstaff Academy. "She sounds like a young woman I should get to know."

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

In her sparse new temporary office, a certain Blackstaff librarian crumpled up the letter she had been trying to write and tossed it to the side, letting the balled-up parchment join about a dozen other crumpled-up letters on the floor. She huffed to herself and pulled out a fresh piece of parchment to write on, dipping her quill back into the ink.

Dearest Papa, she began. She continued with inane lines about her health, the weather, and how much she appreciated Blackstaff Vajra for offering her the position as Chief Librarian of Blackstaff Academy, as she had done in every other letter she started. She was determined this time not to ruin it by mentioning a certain annoying professor with whom she had had too many interactions already.

But inevitably, as it had happened in the other dozen letters before this one, he elbowed his way into her writing, just the same way he had elbowed his way into her library.

Regrettably, she wrote, nowhere is perfect and I’ve found that quite a few of my colleagues here at the Academy can be more than a little trying on my nerves. There is one man in particular, a professor with whom I must now share a common room, who is absolutely, without a doubt, the most provoking, vexatious, exasperating man I think I’ve ever had the displeasure to speak with. He is careless and arrogant and swans about the place as though he and not dear Vajra were the Blackstaff! I cannot understand how he of all people has been accepted to teach here, beyond that everyone must be fawning over his renewed status as a Chosen of Mystra and hero of that nasty illithid business down south. As though we do not have enough Chosens and heroes! He is constantly in my way, hoards books like a dragon, and seems to intentionally put himself where I must see or speak with him even when I expressly wish to avoid him. If I have to spend one more day sharing a common room with this most infuriating man I may just go mad. Do you know, just the other day I caught him sprawled out along the sofa of the common room like a Calishite pasha, filthy boots on the table—

But here she stopped, glaring down at the page. She was being untruthful, if not unkind. She had not yet caught him in a state of such blatant disarray—yet. She stared at her letter, her mind taking her back to two days ago when she had come into the common room, hoping for some peace and quiet, only to find him there.

He’d been stretched along the sofa, that was true, but with his ankles hanging off the edge and crossed, the soles of his boots mercifully away from both sofa and table (though dangerously close). He’d been reading when she entered, one hand cradling the book on his chest and the other combing absently through his dark hair, his lips pursed faintly as he studied the text. The setting sun had been streaming in through the windows, giving his lightly tanned skin an all-over bronzed look, and when he’d looked up as she entered the light caught his dark eyes in such a way as to dust the deep, rich brown of his irises with a sprinkling of bright copper. 

He was handsome, she’d give him that, but it only made her dislike him more. Handsome men always had a sense of arrogance and pride about them and his reputation had more than preceded him in that regard. Of course, it didn’t help that when he looked up, he’d instantly sat up all surprised—and then he had the audacity to look disappointed.

Disappointed!

Oh, she hated him. Absolutely, utterly, completely loathed him. 

Him, with his stupid little Mystra earring, and his fussy way of styling his long hair, and the way he pursed his lips when he was deep in thought, and the careless way he held books sometimes, his fingers tucked between pages—

Gods, she was thinking about his hands now?

She sat back in her chair, glaring at her letter, her face flushed and her lips pressed in a thin line. And then, after a moment, she crumpled the letter up, the same as the others. She gathered all the failed letters into a metal wastebin and, with a snap of her fingers, promptly set them all alight. The soft crackling of the flames did little to cool her off, however. 

She’d just have to write her father a letter another day, when her mind wasn’t so wrapped up in all the things she hated about one Professor Gale Dekarios. For now, perhaps it was best to simply give up and go home.

And perhaps take a cold bath to cool her flustered nerves.

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[leslie057]

penbleed;

pairings: jonathan/nancy

rating: light teen (swearing + mild sex references)

word count: 2.4k (chapter 1)

read on ao3

@jancyweeks day 1: history - her diary as a personal history + a bonus history test incident

𝒩𝑜𝓋𝑒𝓂𝒷𝑒𝓇 16, 1984

—

𝑀𝓎 𝓆𝓊𝑒𝓈𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃 𝒾𝓈 𝒽𝑜𝓌. Actually, how do you forget an exam? Actually. How did I forget? And it’s not even that I forgot, it’s that I never knew. I am still so mad but not as mad as I was. Genuinely have no clue why we were not given verbal reminders for that history test. That stupid little secret of a test, that fucking sub rosa fucking social experiment of a thing to see who looks at her minuscule writing under the date on the board every day! Just tell us. Need it. Out loud. This is crazy arrogant and borderline disgusting of me to say, but she doesn't have a better student than me and I deserved better. It was like a setup. Of course I was taking notes, of course I was listening, of course a lot of it was prior knowledge. It’s the history of America and I’m not an idiot. I just thought a test would be coming up after the break, not before.

I mean it’s all been worked out now, though. 

But it makes me upset, because where was my head? No, I know where it was, my head was here with me. I was simply using it for its escape function. Wild how my ears can be turned on, and my pen will be going and going and going in perfect time with the lesson, but mentally I’m reliving whatever I want to relive. Or don’t want to relive. I’ve been like this since last year. Stuck inside my skull and cannot climb out. Don’t wanna climb out because sometimes I need to be there, it’s nice in there. Sometimes not nice. I brought this up to Jonathan, he said yes he does understand. Shocker. The difference is he’s been in his head for the last sixteen years, and he doesn’t continually think all the awful things that I think. He’s good and decent and he’s sweet and he’s built a strange, adorable habitat up there for song lyrics and checklists and worries. He does so much in one day. I don’t love his work schedule. Working on Friday nights, God. Then at home he does, like, budgeting and reads their bills and shit? I wouldn’t have time to steep in hate for Mrs. Kincannon, either. (He doesn’t hate her. That’s me.) Not that he’s dealing with his trauma or whatever, our trauma, I don’t know, he isn’t. Still, because his many responsibilities burn up the majority of his mental energy, he doesn’t seem to follow the spirals I follow. At least not when the sun's out. He’s a dramatic pessimist, my dramatic pessimist, oh that was fun to write, but I would assume his internal voice has more of a filter mechanism than mine. Could be a self-preservation thing. 

Who knows. But, yeah, neurogymnastics. Neurogymnastics to get me through my day. Each week is a series of extreme highs and extreme lows, lows that I just administer my fantasies to until something new happens. It’s good in the moment. Later I realize that I’ve missed things, spaced out, fell short, and I get all guilty. I feel hypocritical. I’ve fought for my life, why am I not training myself to live it well again. I’m rushing through things because they’re hard. I want to be successful, and this is not the path to success. The pressure is off me and yet all over me. Maybe I shouldn’t care about school, knowing what I know about the flimsiness of this dimension’s edges. Sounds clinically insane. Not ever going to be sure what to do with the fact that I’ve seen a parallel plane, that I was really there. I wish I didn’t care about school. I do care less about it than I did freshman and sophomore year. My grades are forever important to me, but there’s currently a big disconnect between my habits and my academic goals. When I’m at school, I fantasize about it being over. When I’ve set aside time to work, I can’t get through it and I go to my boyfriend. Maybe I am a bad student. Right now. I am. Hard to care about history since I’ve got a lot I would rather focus on. So, right, there are a lot of coercive acts I could be learning about if my teacher calmed down and gave me free time to coerce him. Sorry. 

I cannot stop thinking about what I was able to 

How he knew about the test is beyond me. He’s missed more days, he’s had more distractions, he’s more susceptible to distractions, and to top everything off he’s on possession watch. You know, just making those frequent check-ins with Will. I don’t know what that would look like. I guess you just ask him how he’s feeling, try to gauge the honesty. I would never ever say this but it seems likely to me that Will is still being…communicated with. Accessed. Scary sounds in his ears or something. Sensations. It’s not like he’d say anything! He’s like this meek little mouse, he could actively be experiencing organ rupture and wouldn’t make a sound. This is terrible, but being at their house does scare me every now and then. In a ticking time bomb sort of way. Is their family not kind of cursed? Then I get kissed and forget where I am anyway, so nothing matters. No complaints overall, it is a very nice place for a slumber party. 

My reaction last night was the most embarrassing. How I went from zero to a hundred that fast, how we went from squeaky bed springs and my proposed hickey competition (hate that this is in writing now, but context needed—also I was in a competitive mood yesterday) (he was not) to me whining and crying and essentially hyperventilating because I didn’t understand why he would mention a test when we didn’t have a test. I hate my emotions being played with and all of that bullshit. For some reason I’ve always been on the receiving end of that haven’t I? With boys in our class. Middle school, junior high, that kind of timeframe. At one point I could have convinced myself I was being flirted with. It’s a no, because “all statements.” All pines are conifers, but not all conifers are pines. So all interested boys will tease, but not all the boys that tease are interested. They really were just that eager to let me know my body wasn’t up to par for our age bracket. Pal, are we not eleven and twelve. I cannot be Catwoman for you.

I’m told I’m pretty now, so I’ll count it as a win. 

Anyway, Jonathan was not playing with my emotions, and we did have a test. We did. When my panic set in, it was bad. The pressure was building up in my chest, I thought I was in danger of dry drowning. My GPA is literally the only thing I ever feel in control of. In my arms were two options, have an absolutely miserable fucking Thursday night or risk baby’s first F on her transcript. But then he just looked at me, calm as ever, and said, “Why can’t you ask for an extension? I want you to ask her for an extension, okay?” Which I should have come up with on my own. I don’t know why, but hearing him say that was like. Insane. Made everything feel lighter, light as a feather. He doesn’t do this for himself, but for me—he zooms out, he figures out a way to make things less daunting. He can be so positive when it's a problem of mine on the table instead of his, and I'm like who are you, I love you. I usually have no problem cheating systems, swinging things in a way that's better for me, but requesting an extension? My pride lies in academics, I'm aware of that, I don’t often ask for help there. Want to accomplish things without accommodations being made for me. Meanwhile, school stuff is some of the only stuff Jonathan is willing to seek out help with. He has to. He can't afford to not get help. Not like he can spend an entire evening on one little section of an assignment when he needs to be clocked in at work for five hours. In conclusion, he talks to our instructors more than our peers. I have to respect a teacher's pet.

So, I took his advice. However tricky extensions may be. Kincannon is also tricky. Her iron will and everything. You’re not gonna get one if you always ask. You’re not gonna get one if you haven’t already established yourself as a trustworthy kid. You’re not gonna get one for being an athlete. I wasn’t convinced of the plan at first since she dress coded my mid-thigh skirt last week and had to tell me, on a few occasions, to stop chatting with/distracting my boyfriend. Him being in the picture was so in my favor, though, because he seriously might be her favorite. Personally I wanna say it’s gross; it makes her feel good about herself to cosset sensitive, troubled teens that she wouldn’t give a shit about otherwise. Like, you’re not his mommy, but I’m way off topic. 

We got up incredibly early this morning. We made her a tiny consolation coffee with cream and cinnamon, pulled up at 6:25 I want to say it was? And the conversation was ace. He had messed up my hair a little to hint at a sleepless night, coached me on how to look pitiful when we were in the car. I really hope I didn’t mishear him mumble something about puppy eyes. He was very tired. I stayed as honest as possible, that’s what he wanted from me. I told her I was having a rough time, that grief keeps getting in my way of things. I talked to her about my selective hearing issue. I said I’m an oral learner, I needed verbal reminders, and I said school means so much to me. Hesitantly I pointed out that Jonathan and I are still getting used to our new relationship, and maybe if our assigned seats were adjacent I wouldn't have to get up to talk to him. She was slightly passive-aggressive, but she was understanding. Then I found out I would be testing Monday. New test, just for me. There was something so ridiculous and fun about sitting in class this morning, reading while everyone else suffered. After, I couldn’t stop apologizing to Jonathan for freaking out. He said I didn’t freak out, I reacted, and he suggested I go easier on myself. That distinction felt huge, really huge. 

Right now, I'm desperate to preserve that feeling of lightness, but I’m mad at myself and furious in general. In hindsight I should have savored being comforted a little more, but I was busy having half a meltdown. I’m sure I’ll get to hear one of those soft pep talks the next time something doesn’t go my way. I have so much studying to do, especially since my Special Nancy Test is all writing. I’ve got it, though. I’m fine. Angry but also happy and fine. This will never happen again. I won’t let it happen again.

—

“Uh oh,” Jonathan suddenly murmurs to himself on her bed. 

She swivels at her small desk, not fully ready to turn her attention away from her entry. “Hmm?”

“Sorry, no, you can keep writing.” 

“But why uh oh?”

There's his gentle huff, his eyes flicking upward in annoyance. He holds a necklace she'd tasked him with untangling using tweezers. Its old, delicate chain was in no less than six billion knots. Somehow he’s the only one in the world who has the patience for this. She sure as hell doesn't have the patience for it. "I'm scared I'm about to break it." 

“Break it? Please don’t Jonathan,” she begs on impulse.

“It’s just really far gone. I’m trying.”

And he is. He’s been sitting quietly for as long as she’s been writing. So—long time. She sort of forgot about him over there. “Sorry, I know, I know you are," she says.

He’s silent. 

“You’ve been cleaning up a lot of my messes lately, huh?”

She flips over her journal, nudges it away from the table’s edge, and approaches him. From her desk she couldn’t see the glow of afternoon sunlight streaming onto her quilt. Very pretty. Her personal jewelry surgeon sits there in the middle, equally pretty, possibly feeling neglected. He’s gone the full nine yards here. Pushed up his sweater sleeves, swiped her reading glasses, set out a few safety pins and needles as his supplementary tools. He looks sleepy, the brown of his eyes lighter in the path of the sun. 

Her arms are behind her back until they’re not, and she crawls on top of him. He absently places the necklace on her flattest throw pillow. 

“I said you’re fixing a lot of my messes.”

“I mean…not really.” He’s blushing already, hands awkwardly grasping for purchase at her hips so that he won't get pressed back too hard into the poles of her bed frame's headboard. “If I am, I don’t mind.”

Her lips cushion against this little spot on his jaw that’s so sensitive it kills him, sucking carefully. The action might have the same effect on her that it does him; her heart jumps, swings wide, threatens to capsize in the wet of her chest. It’s that familiar adrenaline response, the uncontrollable energy spike she always gets alongside the realization of oh, we’re touching! She sighs into his skin, and he shudders, a pathetic sound of bliss escaping his throat.

“Okay, well don't start drooling,” she quips. Kisses his pulse point, spittily.

He mumbles something unintelligible, so she keeps on keeping on, shifting her weight back and forth, trying to make the most of the time they have and get some good play in while she can. She’ll have to kick him out soon. She’ll have to study in complete isolation. She dips back, and he follows, she leans forward, and he pulls her closer. “Said I need an extension,” he manages, repeating what she didn’t catch.

“What?”

“If you’re gonna do all this, I need an extension on my necklace project.”

Well, that is definitely going in the diary. 

[muna-lesbians]

March 21, 2020 - British GQ

It's Sunday morning when I speak to MUNA down the line from LA. Lead guitarist Josette Maskin is drinking coffee in sweats on her sofa, while vocalist Katie Gavin is on her way to a composting workshop at a local library – possibly the most LA thing I’ve ever heard. In other words, they’re kicking it.

But that’s fair enough. 2019 was a big year for the electronic pop trio: they released their vibrant second album, Saves the World, and embarked on a 17-date tour of North America, plus two triumphant London shows at a packed Village Underground. ‘We’re not from London, but it felt like a homecoming, because London as a city has seen us grow so much as a band,’ says Gavin. ‘Everyone in the crowd was singing every verse.’

All of the members of MUNA are queer, an integral facet of the band’s DNA. After the Pulse nightclub shooting in Orlando, their soaring track I Know a Place became an unofficial anthem of resistance for the LGBTQ community, sung at vigils by grieving fans. ‘We didn’t write the song for it to be a way to remember the people who died,’ says Gavin, ‘but the fact that’s what it’s been used for is an honour I don’t think we could have imagined.’ Although at first MUNA were wary of being labelled a ‘queer pop group’, they’ve leaned into it. ‘A lot of our story has been about learning to accept the responsibility,’ says Gavin. ‘We love our community and want to be put to use.’

To be silent in the age of Trump would have felt like complicity. ‘We do live in hell, to be frank,’ says synth player and guitarist Naomi McPherson of the president. They regretted not making a political statement ahead of their appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live! in 2016. When the opportunity to perform on the late-night institution came around again a year later, Gavin wrote an extra verse for I Know a Place, with the lyrics ‘He’s not my leader, even if he’s the president’. The verse has become a fan favourite, bellowed by US crowds in defiance of the racist, sexist Trump. ‘We do the extra verse when the spirit strikes us,’ explains Maskin. ‘For when it feels right.’

Being a political band in the era of Trump is a heavy mantle to bear. Although MUNA don’t plan to stop engaging politically, ‘We want to make music about pleasure and fun also, in opposition to the constant news cycle and oppression we feel,’ says McPherson. Besides, writing music about queer love and desire is an inherently political act. ‘Right now we’re writing straight-up sexy songs,’ says Gavin of the band’s ongoing studio time, ‘but the fact they’re about the relationships we engage in, and to be a queer woman openly singing about desire, is political. It doesn’t matter what we write, everything we do is political and personal at the same time.’

I ask MUNA whether they feel queerness has been appropriated to shift product, in the same way big brands bastardised feminism to hock scented candles and self-care bath foam. ‘I feel like any radical movement is at risk of being commodified and sold back to us,’ says McPherson. ‘That’s been happening for years since Pride became a corporate event. They put Che [Guevara] on T-shirts!’ But MUNA feel that, on balance, any representation is better than none. ‘Visibility is important,’ Maskin adds. ‘It can mean a lot to some kid somewhere to see queer people represented.’

Speaking to MUNA, it’s clear they’re genuinely good friends. They formed in high school (not at a college party, as is often reported). “We’re definitely homies,” McPherson says with a laugh. ‘Jo and I live together, so we spend every waking minute in each other’s presence.’ They recently went roller-skating for Gavin’s birthday: she’s a good skater, the others less so. That strong base helped MUNA when they were coming up in the industry. ‘We’ve always had the privilege of having each other as protectors,’ says Maskin. Having creative control is of paramount importance – they stand in opposition to the high-polish, PR-workshopped pop bands dominating the charts on any given day. ‘We wouldn’t have been able to exist as a band unless we were the ones controlling and making what we do,’ Maskin says.

When the band toured with Harry Styles in 2017, they saw up close the effects of international celebrity on an individual. ‘When we first met, I felt a lot of concern for him,’ says Maskin. ‘It’s such a crazy life he lives. But he takes it in his stride – he’s such a nice person and really cares about his fans. That level of fame is insane and unfathomable!’ But as MUNA continue to carve out a special place in the hearts of their fans, queer or otherwise, global fame looks set to be coming for them, whether they like it or not.

[oldiesstationlover11607]

Hii!!! I love your works and was wondering if you would write something with Tyler, like reader is a famous singer that he likes and they meet and fall in love and all that stuff (or it could be platonic with Josh and Tyler, so they are both fans)

Backstage - Tyler Joseph x Singer!Reader

Warnings: Nothing hehe

Word Count: 2251

A/N: This was super fun to write! Also really amazing to see a new anon :) Feel free to request another fic!

It was another one of those surreal moments that had become oddly routine. Another sold-out arena, another wave of adrenaline that surged through my body as I stood backstage. The distant hum of thousands of fans filtered through the heavy curtain. In fact, I had made sure we’d set up cameras so I could watch my fans on the television in my dressing room before and after the show. I loved performing, but tonight was different. My mind wasn’t on the usual post-show high or the fans waiting for me to step out of the venue. No, tonight I was distracted by a message my manager had sent me earlier in the day.

Tyler Joseph and Josh Dun of Twenty One Pilots have tickets to your show tonight.

I had stared at the message for longer than I’d care to admit. I was a fan of theirs—an enormous fan—and now they were coming to see me? It felt like an out-of-body experience, one of those moments where I had to take a breath and remind myself that this was my life now. That I had worked for years to get here, and that people I admired—people whose music had carried me through tough times—were now taking time out of their lives to watch me perform.

A knock on the door snapped me out of my thoughts. My manager poked her head in, a mischievous grin on her face. “You ready? They’re here.”

I blinked, feeling a rush of nerves I hadn’t expected. Normally, meeting famous people didn’t faze me anymore. But this was Tyler and Josh. I had memorized every lyric from their albums, dissected their music, and drawn so much inspiration from their vulnerability. And now they were just a few feet away from me.

“Yeah,” I nodded, smoothing out the front of my shirt as I stood. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

My manager led me down the narrow hallway of the backstage area. My heart beat faster with each step, and I could hear my pulse in my ears as we approached the lounge. 

“Just be yourself Y/N, I’m sure they’re just as nervous to meet you,” she laughed. 

I scoffed, shaking my head. “You think that the members of twenty one pilots would be nervous to meet me? No way.”

The door opened, and there they were—Tyler and Josh, sitting casually on the couch as if this wasn’t a huge deal at all. They looked relaxed, dressed in their usual understated style, but when Tyler saw me, he immediately stood up, a shy smile crossing his face.

“Hey,” he greeted me, his voice soft but warm. “You were incredible tonight.”

Josh stood up too, nodding in agreement. “Seriously, one of the best shows I’ve seen in a while.”

I blinked, trying to process the fact that Tyler Joseph had just complimented me—Tyler Joseph. For a second, I felt like I was back in high school, fangirling over their music on my iPod.

“Thank you,” I said, my voice wavering just slightly. “I… I’m a huge fan of you guys, too. It’s kind of surreal to hear that from you.”

Tyler chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck as if he was a little embarrassed. “Honestly, we’ve been listening to your music for months. Your voice… it’s something special.”

Josh nodded along. “Yeah, we had your album on repeat while we were touring last summer. It’s so good.”

My heart skipped a beat. They were listening to my music on tour? I hadn’t even realized how big this moment was until now.

We settled onto the couches, the initial awkwardness fading as the conversation picked up. They were so easy to talk to, so normal, despite everything I knew about their careers. Tyler was quieter, more introspective, while Josh kept the mood light with his jokes and casual demeanor. As the conversation flowed, I realized that they were just as curious about my journey as I was about theirs.

Tyler leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he looked at me intently. “So, how do you stay grounded when everything around you is moving so fast? I feel like we’ve been on tour forever, and it’s easy to lose yourself in it.”

His question caught me off guard, but in a good way. He wasn’t asking about the usual industry stuff—no questions about fame or the creative process. He was asking something real, something that struck at the heart of what it meant to be an artist navigating the chaos of the music world.

“I guess it’s about finding moments of stillness,” I said slowly, thinking it through as I spoke. “Like, no matter how loud everything gets, I need to carve out time for myself. Whether it’s journaling or just listening to music that’s not mine… it helps me remember why I started in the first place.”

Tyler nodded thoughtfully, as if my words resonated with him. “I get that. It’s hard sometimes, though, isn’t it? To remember why we started. Especially when it becomes your whole life.”

“Yeah, exactly,” I agreed, surprised by how comfortable I felt opening up to him. “But I think that’s what makes it so important—to have something outside of the music. Otherwise, it’s easy to lose sight of who you are.”

Josh, who had been quietly listening, suddenly jumped in with a grin. “See, Tyler? This is what I’ve been telling you! You need more hobbies.”

Tyler rolled his eyes but smiled, clearly used to Josh’s playful banter. “I have hobbies.”

“Like what?” I asked, raising an eyebrow, curious to know what Tyler did when he wasn’t making music.

Tyler hesitated for a second, then shrugged. “I–uh… I read books.”

Josh let out a loud chuckle, “I’m pretty sure the last time I saw you read was back during covid.”

I laughed, “What kind of books do you like to read?” 

Tyler looked a little embarrassed but explained, “Mostly fiction. Sometimes I like to read non-fiction though.”

“That’s cool, I love reading,” I said, genuinely in awe of him. “I’d love some recommendations.”

His eyes flicked up to meet mine, and for a moment, there was a spark of something unspoken between us. He smiled softly, almost shyly. “I’ll have a think.”

The night went on, and before we knew it, we’d spent hours just talking—about life, music, and everything in between. Tyler and Josh were so easy to be around, and I felt like I could let my guard down, something I hadn’t been able to do in a long time.

Eventually, we found ourselves sitting around a small table backstage, eating pizza that someone had ordered in a last-ditch effort to stave off the post-show hunger. The conversation had turned light again, and Josh was in the middle of a story about a disastrous tour stop in some small town when my phone buzzed. I glanced at the screen, realizing it was my manager letting me know the venue was closing soon.

“Well,” I said reluctantly, “looks like they’re kicking us out.”

Josh groaned dramatically, but Tyler just smiled, standing up and stretching. “This was fun. We should do it again sometime. Maybe we can catch your show tomorrow if we’re free.”

I smiled, feeling a little flutter of excitement at the thought. “You should. I’ll make sure you guys get front-row seats.”

Tyler chuckled softly. “I’d love that.”

There was something in the way he said it—gentle, almost vulnerable—that made my heart skip a beat. We said our goodbyes, but as I watched them leave, I couldn’t help but feel like this was just the beginning of something.

The next night, as I stepped onto the stage, I felt a different kind of energy. I was still riding the high from the previous show, but there was something more to it tonight—a sense of anticipation, knowing that Tyler and Josh were somewhere out there in the crowd. I scanned the audience as I performed, trying not to let it distract me, but it was impossible to ignore. My heart raced every time I thought I saw them, and I found myself singing with more emotion, more intensity, as if I was performing for them alone.

And then, finally, I spotted them.

Tyler and Josh stood near the front, blending in with the sea of fans, but their presence stood out to me. Tyler’s eyes met mine from across the stage, and for a split second, the world seemed to shrink. It was just me and him, connected through the music in a way that felt almost electric. The rest of the show passed in a blur, but that moment lingered in my mind long after the final note had been sung.

After the show, I made my way backstage again, feeling the rush of adrenaline still coursing through my veins. Tyler and Josh were waiting for me in the lounge, and the minute I walked in, Tyler’s face lit up with a smile that made my heart do somersaults.

“You killed it tonight,” he said, his voice soft but filled with admiration. “It was incredible.”

I couldn’t help but grin. “Thanks. I’m glad you guys were able to come.”

Josh was quick to chime in. “I think Tyler’s officially your number-one fan now. I caught him singing along to almost every song.”

Tyler shot him a look but didn’t deny it, his cheeks turning a faint shade of pink. I laughed, feeling a warmth spread through my chest. There was something about Tyler that drew me in, something quiet and thoughtful, but with an intensity that made me want to know him more.

We hung out for a while longer, the conversation flowing naturally as it had the night before. But there was a subtle shift now, something unspoken hanging between me and Tyler. He kept glancing at me when he thought I wasn’t looking, his gaze lingering a little longer each time. And I couldn’t help but feel it too—this growing connection between us, like we were on the brink of something.

At one point, Josh got a call and stepped out of the room, leaving Tyler and me alone. The atmosphere suddenly felt charged, and I could feel my pulse quicken as Tyler shifted in his seat, looking over at me with a small, almost hesitant smile.

“You okay?” I asked, breaking the silence, though I could already sense that something was on his mind.

Tyler exhaled softly, his gaze dropping to his hands before he looked up at me again. “Yeah, I just… I don’t know how to say this without sounding weird.”

My heart skipped a beat. “Just say it. I promise I won’t think it’s weird.”

He hesitated for a moment, then spoke quietly. “I’ve been thinking about you. A lot. Since last night. And I know we just met, but… I feel like there’s something here. Something I can’t ignore.”

My breath caught in my throat, and I felt my heart racing. I hadn’t expected him to say it out loud, but now that he had, I realized I’d been feeling the same thing.

“I feel it too,” I admitted softly. “I wasn’t sure if you did.”

He smiled, a soft, almost relieved expression crossing his face. “Yeah. I do. But it’s weird, right? I mean, we’re both on tour, our schedules are insane… I don’t even know how this would work.”

“I don’t either,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper. “But maybe we don’t have to figure it all out right now. Maybe we just take it one step at a time.”

Tyler’s smile widened, and he nodded slowly. “Yeah. One step at a time.”

For the rest of the night, we stayed close, talking about everything and nothing, but with a new sense of openness between us. There was no rush, no pressure—just the quiet thrill of something new unfolding between us. And for the first time in a long time, I felt like I wasn’t just chasing after a dream, but living it. With Tyler, it felt like there was more than just music connecting us.

Over the next few weeks, Tyler and I stayed in touch, texting and calling whenever we could find the time. It wasn’t easy, with both of us constantly on the move, but somehow, we made it work. And every time we spoke, it felt like we were getting closer, like the distance didn’t matter as much as the connection we were building.

Then, one night, after weeks of late-night conversations and stolen moments between shows, Tyler surprised me. He showed up at one of my concerts, completely unannounced, standing in the front row again with that familiar, quiet smile. My heart soared when I saw him, and after the show, we found ourselves alone again, this time in a quiet corner of the venue, away from the noise and the crowds.

“I couldn’t stay away,” he admitted softly, his eyes searching mine.

I smiled, my heart racing as I closed the distance between us. “I’m glad you didn’t.”

And in that moment, as the world faded away and it was just the two of us, I realized that whatever this was between us—whatever it was becoming—it felt right. It felt like something worth holding onto, no matter how crazy our lives got.

Tyler smiled softly, reaching out to take my hand. “One step at a time?”

“One step at a time,” I echoed, my heart full of hope. 

//

REQUESTS OPEN

[daynascullys]

the tortured poets department

i have thoughts!! surprising, right?? this is for anyone who cares to read them ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Before you read, note that this is going to be critical of things, so let me just start by saying I have loved and listened to Taylor since I was 8, so none of it is said lightly or without careful thought (in fact, this took me absurdly long to write). Most of the issues I have are very near to my heart, actually, so I've spent a lot of time thinking about it. If you don't want to read criticism, then just don't read more. DISCLAIMER that I did my best, but not even this fully captures the nuance I feel able my own opinions lol I recognize the other sides and points, I really do. I hold many conflicting opinions.

The short version is I will always love her music and her voice and she is capable of writing absolutely gorgeous lyrics (dare I say poetry?). I don't tend to think too much about the sound of it because if I like the sound, it's all I really care about—maybe it sounds the same as other stuff, but if I like that other stuff, I don't really care about whether she branches out or not. I think it's great and interesting when she (or anyone) does, but I also don't like change so it doesn't matter to me the way I know it matters to some people. That's just me!

What gets more complicated for me is the narrative, themes, and general trends that have been more prominent the last year or so, and that's what the rest of my thoughts are. It's me enjoying the music while also being acutely aware of all the grief tangled up in it because of how much less connected I feel in many ways.

Side note: this got soooo much longer than even I expected and it still just scratches the surface! so if you decide to read, 1. thank you, and 2. I'd love to keep talking to you. 🤍

———————————————————— 💭

I am an overthinker (shocking!) and will for sure be annoyed that I can't think of each and every thing I think about this album, but this is what comes to mind right now. Some things that have stood out to me more and more with each release:

a tendency to write self-aware lyrics that, in trying to be self-aware, betray somewhat of a lack of self-awareness

a frustration with never growing up that she expresses while also not realizing the way she is complicit in that and her own refusal to grow up

considering herself the victim, particularly after "overcoming" the accusations that she always plays the victim

venturing more boldly into the territory of serious mental illness/suicidal ideation/mental health treatment despite demonstrating a fair amount of ignorance regarding those things in the past

fame going to her head (in the sense of her becoming further and further out of touch) and the entitlement in a lot of the more immature attitudes that come across in these songs

self-awareness: for me, the first example that comes to mind is Anti-Hero: "it's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me." It's a claim at self-awareness because she's poking fun at the fact that she knows people always say "maybe she's the problem." The reason why it feels to me like it exposes a lack of self-awareness is because she explores it mostly as a criticism to overcome and not a valid point of self-reflection. @jakeperalta's tags on her post explain it better than I do. Yes, there's an issue when you reduce every feeling to "well maybe she's the problem," but part of growth is admitting that maybe you are part of the problem and coming to terms with the fact that there is often some inevitable truth to that statement—and being willing to work on it. This example is from Midnights, but I think it ties into the next point.

immaturity/never growing up: I actually think these first two sections are just two parts of one section, but it's easier to read this way anyway. There are lots of references to not growing up on this album, the first that come to mind being "So High School" and "teenage petulance." Maybe it's just me, but as a 34-year-old woman, I wouldn't want to be feeling "so high school." I mean, as a 25-year-old, when I talk about feeling like my high school self, it's usually because I'm recognizing how limited my judgment and self-awareness was in high school (despite all the therapy and my efforts to be self-aware in high school). And I am aware of my own bias here—I absolutely hate the football game days because I didn't even like watching people act like that in high school, but at least they were high schoolers—but I do think part of what we've seen is Travis allowing her to be more immature and take less responsibility because that's also where he is at. Obviously I don’t speak to it with any authority since I don't know what happened in the relationship, but based on her behaviors and what I know about Joe (which is VERY little), I kind of get the feeling that part of what she didn't like about being with Joe is that he pushed her to grow. "Your integrity makes me seem small," etc. etc., but not in an “I want to grow” way, but not liking that feeling because she shouldn't have to feel small just because she wants to be able to only do what makes her happy. Just looking at the difference in her behavior and the fact that it seems like she's stopped trying to learn (Miss Americana-ish), it seems like she very much resents the responsibility that comes with being such a famous person and mainly considers herself a victim of her fame.

victimhood: to an extent, yes, she is a victim of her fame. No one should have that much fame and power, and of course she didn't sign up for it in this way. But wanting to have the kind of influence and reach that most artists desire is intertwined with fame. There isn't a way to separate it (in an ideal world, maybe, but that isn't what we're dealing with) and it's something that, to some degree, artists do sign up for. And I think she resents that she's expected to take any sort of responsibility for anything that she doesn't want to do, in a very, "but that's not fair!," teenage petulance kind of way. She even says in Sweet Nothing that "I'm just too soft for all of it." We're all too soft for all of it, but that doesn't mean we get to ignore it. It bothers me that she doesn't seem to feel any sort of responsibility to use this giant platform to do better. Everyone is aware of her influence, including her. I think that's part of the grief. No, it is not her job to use her platform for good, but I thought that it was something she valued and something she wanted. The other line that really stuck out to me was from Cassandra: "They say what doesn't kill you makes you aware, what happens if it becomes who you are?" You may be a victim of what doesn't kill you, but if it becomes who you are, that's not their fault. It reminds me a bit of the exhaustion of living with mental illness. For me in particular, it affects my relationships in a very fundamental way, and there are days that I sob because I am exhausted of things that are so normal being so, so difficult for me... but even though I didn't ask for it and it's not fair that this happened to me, it's still my responsibility to understand how my issues affect how I show up in relationships. It's still my problem, even though it isn't my fault that it's my problem. And if you're lucky, you find really beautiful people who are willing to help you and see that it's not their responsibility, but they want to make it easier for you—I recognize how lucky I am to have some people like that, but it never makes it anyone else's problem. If they decide one day it's not their problem, the truth is that it isn't (and then there's a more complex conversation about what you want to do to preserve a relationship). This is also very connected to something about Kate Beckett/why I identify with that character, and I can touch on that if anyone wants to know, but I don't really have cohesive thoughts about that prepared (it makes more sense if you already know the character). This also goes to other things, like her being upset that people always focus on who songs are about while ignoring the part she played in feeding that culture (like with secret messages).

mental health: this goes to a bigger discussion of how we turn to celebrities who are HIGHLY unqualified to have opinions on things for guidance (the nuance of the above discussion about using your platform), but the more she ventures into the discussion of mental illness, the more upset I get by some remarks she has made in the past. And yes, people grow, she may not feel this way anymore, but nothing in her behavior gives me any reason to believe that she doesn't still have this attitude. This is one that I know I have to be careful of because of how personal it is for me (I've been placed on a 5150 "danger to self" hold and I am a therapist), but one interview that has always made me so upset is that one where she talks about how she's never been to therapy, then ends it by saying "I feel like we just had a therapy session." She has said multiple times how she has never wanted to go to therapy when she has her mom, who already knows everything about her. And that is highly irritating to me because 1. that's why she's your MOM, not your THERAPIST, and 2. there's already so much stigma and apprehension around therapy and many people feel this way, so to have someone like Taylor Swift validate all the people who say "I'd rather talk to someone who already knows me" or "so and so is my therapist" is unbelievably frustrating. There's a reason it's unethical to treat people you know—that isn't therapy. And I think I wouldn't be so bothered by it if she didn't speak about it with such authority, like she knows what she's talking about when what she's saying shows that she doesn't (edit: this is specifically in regard to therapy, not mental illness. I am highly aware that anyone can be mentally ill). The other thing about this album is that it does seem to be an album about loving people with mental illness, and I've already seen a lot of interpretations that simply feed the narrative that people with mental illness are unlovable and mental illness is the reason people mistreat you (particularly the discussion about her lovers being blue all the time). And the issue with that is it's already a common misconception among people with mental illness, that their mental illness is an excuse or reason why they don't treat people right. It's disrespectful to the people who recognize that they have a mental illness that affects how they interact with others and choose to try to overcome it. I'm all for honest discussions about mental illness, but it's so disheartening when it happens on such a large scale and some of the loudest voices are people who don't know enough to know how to (at least try to) do no harm.

fame: I'm not really going to go into it because this has already turned out way longer than I meant for it to, but also because I feel like it's already been touched on. For me, it's the conversation about her feeling she should be able to just do what she wants. I think we all feel that way, but because of her fame and the fact that she's just about untouchable (as shown in how she came back from being cancelled), she can just tune everyone out. But one example was how uneasy I felt about this album being announced at the grammys. For one thing, it's not a fan-voted award, so even if it should, it doesn't feel the same. And regardless of your take on award shows, I do think it showed a level of insensitivity to the other artists who haven't won a bunch of grammys to decide that she would announce a new album at the grammys. Because even if she had a backup plan and said she didn't plan on it, the truth is that, to decide to have a backup plan, you did have to count on it happening, at least to an extent. You had to feel it was likely enough that you wanted to have a back up plan just in case, but it probably would go the way you wanted. To me, it just felt so... disrespectful. Because for many other artists, it doesn't happen more than once. (not to mention the many other things happening that got completely overshadowed, like Annie Lennox calling for a ceasefire)

So if you read all that... I don't even know what the point is at this point. These are just thoughts that, to me, don't feel right to simply ignore. I know there's an argument that you can enjoy music without enjoying where it came from, and it's true to an extent, but I also think part of the music is where it comes from. So... I don't know. Do with that what you will. And if you are reading this, I love you (I can't believe you're reading this).

[cartoonguy08]

So I saw this one board thing a while ago and I thought it’d be fun to do it just cuz, and also so you guys know me a bit better 🤙 (I should probably do that one pinned post where people intro themselves huh?)

More detail if you want, as well as the board I used to do this with 👍

Movie - Hunchback of Notre Dame: Guys this movie is my everything and my childhood I was TERRIFIED of it as a kid but now I watch it and admire every aspect of it every SPEC and crumb of this movie is everything to me. The animation to the soundtrack to the characters to the backgrounds—OMG CAN I MENTION THE BEAUTIFUL BACKGROUNDS FOR THIS MOVIE JESUS—everything, absolutely everything of this movie is beloved by me ESPECIALLY my all time favorite villain Claud Frollo, guys, I LOVE (HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE ABSOLUTELY HATE HIM I WANT TO PUT HIM IN A BLENDER SO BAD OMG YES TAKE HIM TO HELL GUYS I HATE THIS GUY I HATE HIM SO MUCH 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️) him so much you wouldn’t believe I am an absolute SUCKER for characters who are just the shittiest people ever and that are villains and that deserve everything that happens to them because they are massive hypocrites. Did I mention why I love Claud Frollo?

Hobby - Drawing: In general, I try and draw as much as I can. I’m pretty busy with school and friends and life in general but I will never pass up a moment to just doodle silly cartoon shit. I love cartoons, they are everything to me, and I will give me life to become in animator holy shit. I love it, I’ve been loving it since I was born dawg 🤙

Animal - Rhino: Literally no explanation for this except I love how majestic and cool asf they are. I went to the zoo once and I couldn’t stop admiring them guys, they’re absolutely gorgeous.

Character - Soldier: No specific Soldier for this cuz I love both of them. I wish he was real because I would die to meet him lol. My entire personality in a nutshell 💀 He is my life, he spins in my head on the daily and he makes me love being American lmao (RIP Rick May, you made such a lovable character, fly high man)

Color - Mustard Yellow: I have a beanie the same color as this and legit it made me love the color. That and I love mustard in general

Place - Quiet library: AND I MEAN QUIET, I love being social with people but sometimes I just wanna be left alone. Dawg, the library at my school is the shit, it’s so quiet in there and I can sit on a sofa and just chill. Great to relax 👍

Season - Winter: Unfortunately for me I live somewhere that does not snow at all. Which kinda sucks- BUT it sprinkle some snow every one and a while. It’s also just not about the snow but the weather, I like the breezy feel, the chilliness of it all. I can wear hoodies and beanies and my kickass baggy pants lol. And the blankets. My grandma got me this one comforter that’s immaculate, very comfortable, very soft. Love my grandma 🤙❤️

Song/Album - Void in Blue: WHERE DO I BEGIN WITH THIS SONG? The feeling I get actually has me ascending bro. The background instrumental the LYRICS THE ECHO, OMG THE ECHO THOUGH- my favorite part of any song is if it has an echoey effect to it, and THIS nails every part in the song. It’s great, please guys give it a listen it’s so good it’s like crack to me I listen to it on the DAILY

Food - Root beer Floats: I know technically it’s a drink but you could still eat it with a spoon, so I’d say it counts 👍 Anyways this shit is the bomb, love Rootbeer in general by FLOATS?? Amazing, I could eat them everyday if I could because they’re so good. Very refreshing. One time I actually went to Denny’s and asked if they had one and a nice waitress made me one lol, very sweet hole she’s going good 🙏 Also fun fact: I tried it in middle school and it became my LIFE

Pretty sure that’s all? Yeah that’s all. Thanks for reading if you wanted to, now you know a bit about me heh. Hope everyone’s having a good day 🤙🤙

[buoyantsaturn]

Dude I could talk about no love LITERALLY all day. It’s like you designed that Nico in a lab to perfectly hit all my buttons and make me go “YES!! I HAVE EXPERIENCED THIS” every other sentence. Super curious whether you’re a musician/have any background in the music industry with how true to reality a lot of it feels! Anywayyy I absolutely love love love that fic and you should get all the praise in the world for it <3

fun fact i actually sprained my finger playing bass too aggressively yesterday lmao. and i kept showing off one of my horribly cracked fingernails due to also too much aggressive strumming <3 but yeah when i was in high school (probably like freshly 16??) i recorded vocals for a song that some friends of mine wrote and it was all done in like. literally some guy's office like it wasn't even a recording booth of any kind. and we do listen back on that song sometimes and cringe <3 its BAD bad <3 but it DID give me a very basic knowledge of how music recording works <3

ALSO my minor in college was in voiceover so i actually do have a pretty good understanding of audio recording and editing in general, just not necessarily in a music mixing kind of way. every day i kick myself for not taking any music-related classes in college bc what if i could be no love nico rn.

while i do sing and play bass i actually have almost 0 actual understanding of music. i cannot read notes i cannot play be ear. i have to literally have the letters for the notes written out above the lyrics lmao. BUT i have been praised for my ability to play bass and sing at the same time by people who are actual professional musicians so that's pretty cool <3 most of the things i say that are music related in this fic are like. "ive heard people say this when explaining how to play the drums. boy i hope this makes sense!" i am also so so so obsessed with every band ive ever listened to and a i watch so many documentaries and behind the scenes youtube clips and stuff to learn everything i can about them so i think that helped too

but anyway. long story short. if anybody out there is in the music industry and needs a singer. please. please. please.

[temporary-joyride]

My brain is unfortunately so All Time Low coded I have to shove it into literally every other thing I like so here's some lines from Kill Ur Vibe that I think go well with Bachisagi

"You're always laughing, and telling me to get my shit together"

This makes me think of Bachira's first awakening, where the rest of Team Z (especially Isagi) are super downtrodden and feeling defeated from Team V's three point lead, Isagi is on the verge of realizing/accepting that this is the end of his soccer career, when Bachira laughs. A huge thing I love about Bachira is that yes sure he wants to be the best striker in the world, but compared to many other characters Bachira is literally just here to have a good time. He's always chilling and I love that for him. But that's the thing that's always surprising Isagi, is that Bachira is just having fun. Bachira is always encouraging Isagi to be better because he himself isn't weighed down by as much doubt and fear as everyone else. Bachira is always laughing and smiling and telling Isagi to believe more in himself, aka get his shit together.

"So tell me what's your secret? It's like you know something I don't"

On a very similar note, this relates to just how differently Isagi operates from Bachira. During tag, Bachira has the audacity to fall asleep, take the ball for himself, risk getting eliminated, he jumps on Kunigami's back and smiles when Isagi tries to tag him. And again, when everyone else has nearly accepted defeat from Team V Bachira actually gets excited. Isagi could never feel that way, even if he wanted to (but that's also kind of what he loves about him).

"You put up with me. Honestly I'm just trying to find the perfect way to say sorry if I kill your vibe."

Okay I'll admit with this one I'm reaching a little outside of canon, but I love this lyric, and it makes me think of Isagi needing to win Bachira back during second selection. Bachira loves playing soccer with Isagi, and regardless of the fact that being separated helped them grow, Bachira outright said he wanted to stay with Isagi until the end. So him getting stolen was a gut punch, you could say it really killed his vibe. I like to think Isagi probably knows this. And of course, Isagi feels the blame falls on him, that he's the one who lost Bachira, that it's his fault his best friend was forced to leave. When they reunite, Isagi does indeed say he's sorry for failing to win him back, and I'm sure indirectly for losing him in the first place. And also, because third time's the charm, Isagi is always sort of motivationally falling behind Bachira, who always seems to be having more fun. The lyric makes me think of how Isagi might feel Bachira has to 'put up' with the way Isagi can struggle with doubt and fear, possibly killing Bachira's carefree and unafraid vibe.

"I hope you know that I'm trying to keep my shit together in a world that wants to tear us all apart"

You know it's almost like the Blue Lock program, where 300 high school students are pitted against one another to weed out the single best striker of them all, is trying to tear all of them apart. And yet despite this, Isagi still wanted to win Bachira back. Not just to get back up in the second selection and not be eliminated, he specifically wanted to steal him back. And in order to do that, Isagi DOES get his shit together, in the form of evolving and devouring and getting better.

"You still find a way to keep me smiling, it's so inspiring."

I actually made a post about this already (that got so so so many more notes than I was expecting??) about how whenever Bachira does something impressive, it always makes Isagi happy. When it's someone else, Isagi is always like "he did that!?! that's insane!!! how am I going to beat that???" but when it's Bachira? It's always "woahhhh... Bachira you're so cool! You're amazing! You make me want to get better!" I haven't completely caught up with the manga and I'm a pretty casual enjoyer of media so I'm no expert but in my opinion I feel it's very obvious that Bachira inspires Isagi the most. Characters like Rin and Barou make Isagi want to beat them, sure, but Bachira is the one that always blows Isagi away and leaves him in awe. He's the one that makes Isagi want to get better, so he can feel as good/proud as Bachira seems to.

"'Cause I'm on your side, and I know that you're on mine- even when you kill my vibe, even when you kill my vibe"

THE BEST PART OF THE SONG. ALWAYS ALMOST MAKES ME CRY. THEY MAY BE TORN APART ONTO DIFFERENT TEAMS. THEY MAY BE SUCH DIFFERENT PEOPLE. THEY MAY LOSE AND WIN TO ONE ANOTHER. BUT THEY ARE STILL FRIENDS. THEY STILL WANT TO BE TOGETHER. THEY STILL LOVE EACH OTHER. DESPITE EVERYTHING. I'M ON YOUR SIDE AND I KNOW THAT YOU'RE ON MINE EVEN WHEN YOU KILL MY VIBE.

[11x13kyle]

what was stan and kyles shift from friends to boyfriends like in mcau? who asked who etc, how did it happen?

stan and kyle are basically orbiting around each other their whole lives but it gets REALLY bad when they get to high school. just this palpable tension that cartman is driven insane by and kenny finds the funniest thing ever. all of these almost moments that are made worse by the fact that kyle KNOWS that he’s into stan and has known for a while but refuses to say anything bc he’s convinced that stan will say no. and stan doesn’t realize that he’s gay so by extension doesn’t Get that he’s in love with kyle.

stan starts actually putting his music online when he’s like 17 so circa 2012 he’s putting his songs on bandcamp. they’re produced so shittily that they border on incomprehensible but the lyrics are understandable enough and anyone who listens and knows him can tell exactly who he’s talking about in his hyperspecific subject matter. kenny teases kyle about it and is like “dude. this is very much about you.” and kyle is so stubborn about thinking his attraction isn’t reciprocated that he refuses to accept it (not that he doesn’t get his “haha what if this IS about me lol” jokes in too!) once again all this is made even more insane because of the fact that stan Doesn’t Know That He’s Gay Yet.

anyway. eventually it gets to a point where kyle can’t deny any longer that these lyrics are so obviously about him, but instead of coming to the conclusion that this may be some kind of confession, his brain that refuses to accept someone genuinely being romantically interested in him leads him to convince himself that stan is actually making fun of him with these lyrics. and, because this is them, kyle comes to this conclusion around the same time that stan realizes that he is very much a gay homosexual (and subsequently that he’s in love with kyle, which is very natural for stan to realize once he gets that he’s gay)

this leads to stan running over to kyle’s house to let him know that “hey! i’m gay! and also i’m madly in love with you and want to spend the rest of my life with you! isn’t that so cool!” but before he can say anything kyle opens the door pissed as FUCK like angrier than he’s ever been at stan and he’s yelling in his face about how he would never have thought his best friend could be so cruel and mock him so openly and why would he do that and what is his fucking problem etc etc. and stan is SO confused and is like. what are you talking about. which makes kyle even angrier. eventually in this altercation kyle starts crying which sets something off in stan’s brain and leads him to just grab him and kiss him. and it’s not a good kiss it bonks kyle’s teeth and really hurts but kyle is like. oh. well. hmm. sorry i didn’t give you the benefit of the doubt. you’re gay i didn’t know that. and stan is like ME NEITHER!!!!! :D

[pinkpeccary]

1, 2, 9, 14, 19, 25 for the spotify wrapped asks!!!

1: Catchiest song

i'd give this to #18: Bad Day by Charlotte Sands. the chorus is fun and the beat punctuates it really well. it captures an emotion i am very familiar with (i'm upset right now and you can't make me feel better) and i've found it popping into my head when i'm in that sort of mood which a) helps surprisingly much and b) supports it's catchiness

2: A song you didn't expect to see in your top 10

i'm a little surprised by #6: every word by Animal Sun. of the four songs from them in my top 100 it's the one i discovered the latest, and i really like it but wouldn't've guessed it'd be so high.

9: Favourite lyrics of your #1 song

Make me bleed if you need to confirm that it's something I can do And I'll paint it red If you're still unsure, let me lie for a day Before they formally announce me dead When I'm gone, cast the bronze for the bust of my head To be displayed in the library Engrave that I gave my consent To be anything that anyone prefer I be

specifically it's that last line that speaks to my heart, but i think the context of the chorus as a whole is important to that.

14: A song you think is underrated

Like A Child by Mother Mother (#31). fun fact, MM was my #3 artist this year but only two songs made it into the top 100. i have a deep love for their music in general, and there are more songs i listen to, but this is one that's been resonating with me the most recently and i think it's a bit of a hidden gem based on streaming numbers compared to others on its album.

i feel like this song represents something important for me about where i am in terms of healing. the Mother Mother songs i listened to in high school was largely about depression and anger and struggle. songs like All Gone or Happy or Body or Burning Pile. then in 2018 they released It's Alright (and the rest of Dance and Cry), which timing-wise was around when i was starting to put myself back together and figure out who i was as an adult, with the ability to make my own choices. and now, Like A Child feels like a acknowledgement of progress. and importantly, a recognition that having an unhappy childhood or growing up too fast doesn't mean you can never go back. it won't be the same, but engaging with childlike wonder and joy even as an adult is still a powerful thing.

MM has a lot of bangers, but this one deserves more love imo

19: Is the most streamed song by your favourite artist your favourite of them?

now this is a hard question because it says favorite artist not top artist. which means i need to pick. i think i'd probably have to say Raynes or Noah Kahan- if it's Raynes, maybe? top song by them was Cast the Bronze at #1 and i do love it, but Second Thought (#7) might be my favorite so i'm not sure. if it's Noah Kahan it's an easy no- my favorite by him is Homesick, which was #2 last year and #21 this year. but my most streamed this year was Catastrophize at #3.

also fun fact: in the artist message for top listeners Noah Kahan called us out for having gone through "something traumatic" and said "if you're an emotionally stable person and you're listening, i would consider listening to something else" which. yeah. if it was not clear already the theme of my music listening seems to be "childhood trauma" (but in like. a normal healthy it's just a part of who i am way)

25: Favourite lyrics of your #100 song

I just turned 14 And I think this year I'm gonna be mean

for this one it's definitely this specific line and doesn't need the surrounding lines for context. i've seen this song getting clowned on more recently for being written by a trans man cringe which is weird cause it's good. i think it's interesting from a personal gender perspective because i relate to it on vibes more than actual matching experience. kind of like how mountain goats songs are somehow the most relatable when they're about hyperspecific characters in hyperspecific situations. distilled emotion or whatever.

anyways i had a lot of anger as a kid and tended to bottle it up and then explode. i also have a lot of baggage about being "nice" because it feels like a box i was put into very early on and never allowed to leave. one of the biggest healing things for me has been allowing myself to feel anger, embracing the idea of being mean, and especially in the context of being a kid.

"i think this year i'm gonna be mean." as a teenager i never knew where the anger came from. like, i knew immediate causes, but it took moving out for college to realize just how much living with my family was fucking me up on the daily. so like. idk, the idea of just. deciding to be mean. not for any reason. i just am. it's relatable.

Ask Game Here

thank you for the ask!!