#fun fact a sign i like a character a lot is: they get head trauma!

[submasbrainrot]

what... happened?

everything's... fuzzy...

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[nightcolorz]

I would love to hear your thoughts on autistic Armand, if you haven’t already spoke about this! Imo he’s very autsitic coded, and it’s very precious to me as an autistic iwtv fan :]

OMG!!! RUNS AROUND. Yes lmao I talk about this a lot actually it is one of my favorite Armand things to meta about bcus I’m also autistic and he is my special interest🙏I was trying to find some of the stuff I’ve written about autistic Armand but tumblrs search engine makes it near impossible to find anything so I gave up ��, but believe me they r out there. Even tho I talk about this a lot I would love love love to talk about it some more for u anon because I can never get enough of armandtism.

I first figured Armand was autistic when I was reading the vampire Lestat because when he is first introduced he is completely non verbal and only communicates through the mind gift. through further explanation it’s very much implied that he does this because he finds putting his thoughts into words hard and he considers just projecting them into peoples brains much easier. Armand speaks out loud for the first time like more than halfway through the book, and lestat is surprised to hear him lol. This is super autistic I feel like that’s obvious 🙏 it’s basically the vampire power equivalent of using a non verbal communication device. Armand having trouble with connecting with people, understanding how to “fit in”, and talking r prevailing parts of his character throughout the whole series (not just tvl) which solidified my headcanon into basically a canon fact in my mind lol.

When Armand is first introduced in iwtv his strangeness is chalked up to his vampirism, but it’s soon revealed throughout tvl and qotd that Armand is considered a strange outcast by other vampires. The things he struggles with r unique to him and r not representative of vampires in general. His otherness/strangeness can also not be chalked up to his trauma or his age turned because Armand was also an outcast as a young child. It’s described in the vampire Armand that Armand was not understood by his parents or his community because he was obsessed with and freakishly good at painting. His community interprets his unusualness as a sign of some divine intervention, the priests believe he is a saint or a prophet sent to earth, even at times saying things implying that he is “not human”. Unusually high quickly developing skill in childhood is an autistic trait, as is hyper fixation on an activity/topic that becomes a core identity factor and prevailing obsession. The affects of Armand’s trauma only worsen the severity of his autistic traits. C-ptsd and autism often overlap and coexist in autistic people who were traumatized in childhood, which seems to be Armand’s case.

in queen of the damned Armand is at his peak autistic lol, I feel like this is when most book readers gain that head canon. The Devils minion chapter revolves around Armand using Daniel as a guide to help him learn how to be “normal” and to blend in to the modern age. Armand can’t seem to figure out how to blend in on his own because he is unable to understand social norms of any time period enough to integrate himself into society. Armand is in love with technology and what most would consider monotonous sensory experiences. He stares at his own reflection for hours, he loves kitchen appliances and watching ingredients whir in blenders, cameras, he watches the same movie over and over again and never gets bored of it. The way Armand fixates on technology really reminds me of how a lot of autistic people played as children. He enjoys repetitive, sensory behaviors over “fun”. For Armand this means watching the same things repeatedly, which is a form of visual stimming. There r moments where Armand is trying to understand his world, but is so blind to what he is trying to understand that he goes about his discoveries wrong. Such as in qotd when he tries to interrogate strangers to gain information on societal norms but he only gets uncomfortable glances. Armand is desperate to understand and to connect but he is consistently inherently alienated, whether it be from humanity or from other vampires or from himself.

Armand also can not process his memories comprehendingly. This is part trauma part autism, but autism is def a factor. Because of his repressed trauma induced memory loss Armand finds it difficult to talk about himself to people. This is worsened by Armand being unable to comprehend the aspects of story telling that he needs to be able to tell people about his life. Armand explains to Daniel that he vividly remembers small details, such as dates and weather, but he could not tell Daniel what “things were like” because he “doesn’t know what that means”. Literal thinking, the inability to grasp vague, fiction based concepts like narratives and metaphor, and strict fixation on minor details like numbers, are all autistic traits!

Armand also struggles heavily with emotional regulation. He is described as often having intense and extreme meltdowns where he cries and screams and breaks things. Armand is easily bothered, in tva he mentions that he covers his ears when he is overwhelmed. The vampire Armand begins actually with Armand becoming overwhelmed in public and trying to escape to an attic so that he can be alone in silence. Armand copes with his intense emotions by putting on a mask of neutrality. He is often described as expressionless and blank, uncanny. But this is a mask, and when Armand can no longer mask and his disguise lapses his facial expressions r described by lestat as being so over the top and emotional that they are disturbing and weird. Over the top unnatural facial expressions as well as blank unreadable ones are both autistic traits. For Armand he is naturally overly emotive to the point of being considered horrifying, and he hides this by taking the opposite extreme. Either way, either expression Armand puts on causes him to be socially outcast.

Armand often describes feeling like there is something wrong with him that causes him to be isolated from others and he’s not sure what it is. In prince lestat he tells Gregory that he doesn’t know why it’s so hard for him to have relationships when other vampires are fully capable of doing that. In the vampire Armand he explains to David that he’s crazy because his mind isn’t built right and his senses are tripled so he shouldn’t bother trying to understand him. I rlly relate to this as someone who felt like I was from another dimension as a child bcus i didn’t know the unspoken life rules everyone else did.

Armand is often treated like a child by the other vampires and assumed to be emotionally immature and too fragile and insane to be helpful. Armand says in the vampire Armand that he doesn’t consider himself an adult because he can’t function like one. This could be due to the age he was turned, but it’s shown to us that characters like Benji and even to an extent Claudia r able to self regulate and function appropriately despite being turned even younger then Armand was.

in conclusion, book Armand is an autistic person who was never given proper support or understanding because the environment and the time period he was born in decided to alienate him further rather then work to help him socialize and learn appropriate skills, and because of the necessities he has been deprived of and the horrible trauma he endured Armand is never able to learn to function in the way he was likely capable of. this recessive quality in pair with his autism caused Armand it be unable to cope or self regulate or learn ways to understand himself since he wasn’t given a chance to in his formative years. He’s a great representative of what many autistic people who experienced intense child abuse experience.

Im rlly happy with the shows portrayal with Armand so far partly because he is omg, so autistic. Show Armand shares so many of book Armand’s autistic traits. inability to understand himself or others, fixation on small details but inability to understand the big picture, etc. even his iPad is autistic asf! My ipad is my comfort item that I carry around with me to self sooth, and this is def the vibe Armand’s iPad gives me in the show. Even assads performance is autistic! He is able to play Armand masking and Armand unmasking, the stilted expressions he gives and the blank stares, the uncomprehending earnestness. AGHHHH!! Assad stims with his fingers when Armand is nervous too which is just an amazing touch. I hope the show explores Armand’s autism, because that would literally be a dream come true. Even still, for now I’m satisfied.

thank u so so much anon for the ask this made me so happy 🙏❤️ autistic Armand means so much to me and has gotten me though some tough times. Understanding and analyzing Armand helps me understand myself better and feel more comfortable with how I am. Earlier this year I gave myself a concussion because I was harmfully stimming during a meltdown, and while I was in the emergency room I was holding the vampire Armand and imaging that he would relate to what I was going through. So yeah he is very special to me too! And once again it makes me so so happy that u got me to talk some about it. I hope this was coherent or interesting lol I felt like I was all over the place

[sarcastictissy]

Hola :D I just wanted to thank you for being so positive lately and looking at things regarding the qstudio situation with nuance. It feels like people have been so stressed and angry after all of the admin stuff came that they began to take every bit of news we hear as some sign that bad things are to come . I think a lot of people underestimated just how long this process can take, there a lot of factors to be considered here, including: q's lack of experience, the union, the laws, the admins. And unfortunately there is no way to satisfy everyone when it comes to stuff like this. This was never going to take a week or two, I feel like people didn't fully understand that.

Some admins are going to be pushed out of the project due to the lack of funds and the fact that this is a legal issue first and for most. It's unfair but it's the law. Not everyone understands that and because of that people are going to say things without understanding the situation. Not every thing is black and white and sometimes things aren't going to work out the way we want them to. Nobody is perfect and we shouldn't expect people involved in this situation to act like that. Which is why you should always look at the situation from multiple perspectives before forming an opinion.

It makes me feel tired to see the same takes over and over agian with no nuance. So your post have really helped me feel better :) I've seen people from both qsmpblr and qsmptwt act like every ccs involved in this is a war criminal or like this is a admins vs quackity or french/brazil vs quackity. It's kinda drove me off most social sites and forced me to only watch YouTube and stuff (on the good side of things, I've been watching quackity's discord videos and some dsmp vods :D it's been fun)

What I am trying to say is that, scrolling through your blog feels like a breath of fresh air and has made me feel 8× more calm about this situation. I don't think doomposting is necessarily bad but after seeing so much of it, sometimes you just need to distance yourself and look at the good parts of life. No matter how much I complain, I am never changing the course that qstudio is headed and neither can any one else, The only one who can do that is quackity. I hope that he does the right thing and the studio gets better. I love the characters that qsmp has brought us and the community it has formed, qsmp is a beautiful project that I want to see thrive. For now the only thing I can do as a viewer is hope for the best <3

I'm sorry if this came off as a trauma dump, I just really wanted to thank you.

So, this has been in my askbox for a while because I was so grateful and happy to hear I've helped someone!! Thank you sm anon that means a lot to me and knowing I'm keeping others optimistic, helps me feel optimistic too! :D

This is a very complex situation with so many moral grey areas mixed with black and white. It's not simple, it's not easy. These things cannot be fixed in a matter of weeks, you're absolutely right about that.

I also agree doomposting isn't necessarily bad! It's a good way to get off some steam and vent/ rant for a bit. There's nothing wrong with that. We all need it at times. For me, personally, it becomes toxic when that's ALL I'm seeing in social media. When I go on my phone and all I see is negativity, that's when I need to call it quits and start blocking people or start taking time away (which is why I deleted twt off my phone) everyone's tolerance levels are different ofc, so, not everyone is affected by that negativity, but I certainly was. This is why I want my blog to be positive and uplifting and you know what? Each and every time I get a ask or a message thanking me for that, I gain faith in humanity and it just encourages me to keep being positive! I'm so thankful for your ask and dw it wasn't trauma dumping at all!! :D I hope you're doing well anon! Take care of yourself. You matter

[richincolor]

Interview with Hanna Alkaf

Today we're excited to hear from author Hanna Alkaf whose latest release THE HYSTERICAL GIRLS OF ST. BERNADETTE'S fits in with the creepy vibe that's often happening in general at this time of year. If you want to know more about the hysterical girls, you can hop over to our recent review. 

I'm not generally someone who reads horror stories, but I really loved QUEEN OF THE TILES [Audrey's review here] and THE WEIGHT OF OUR SKY [Crystal's review here] so this was one I had to pick up. I read THE HYSTERICAL GIRLS OF ST. BERNADETTE'S at a rapid clip. It was fabulous and I'm so glad I moved out of my comfort zone. Thanks to you though I am having to look over my shoulder when I hear dry leaves moving around. ;) It's fall here so that is happening often. Does that sound bother you at all?

The sound of dry leaves doesn’t particularly bother me, but at the risk of sounding totally cruel, I love that it now bothers you! One of the things I love most about horror is its ability to take something completely innocuous and mundane and turn it into something ominous and dread-inducing. A kind of dark magic, if you will.

You have several works that lean toward or are classified as straight up horror. Have you been a horror reader/watcher/writer for a long time?

I absolutely love horror as a genre, whatever the medium — I think it stems from my friends and I whispering scary stories to each other as kids. Ours was a mission school very much like St. Bernadette’s in the book: Old, gothic in design, full of shadowy corners and unnervingly quiet spaces, and rife with rumours about the atrocities Japanese soldiers had committed on school soil during the occupation. It was fertile ground for young imaginations to populate with all manner of ghosts.

I really appreciated your caring note at the beginning of the book. It truly did help to be prepared for what was coming, but also let me know that the author was mindful of the fact that readers come to books with a lot of different backgrounds and experiences. That said, what was it like to research for a book about ghosts and monsters be they human or another form? It seems like some of that could also be challenging to process.

Unfortunately — or perhaps fortunately, depending on your perspective! — I’ve had a lot of experience in writing the darkness, whether it’s natural or supernatural, and have learned what I need to do to cope with diving into that abyss. That includes building in breaks and days off where I immerse myself in spending time with my kids, sketching, or binge-watching romantic K-dramas (the fluffier the better). It also means having a safety net in the form of a husband who knows to watch for signs that I’m having trouble pulling myself out of that darkness, and steps in when necessary.

What led to your choice of having two perspectives? Were there complications or surprises to using that format?

I wanted to contrast two very different perspectives and experiences of the same situation, and two very different ways of processing trauma, while hopefully showing readers that both of those voices were still true and valid and deserved support and belief. Multiple perspectives is such a tricky thing to pull off — you do have to make sure those voices don’t start blurring together, making them as distinct as possible from each other. But I was very surprised by how much I enjoyed being in each character’s head, and how fun it was to weave their stories together.

Do you write with a set schedule each day or are you a writer that fits it in all throughout the day in smaller chunks of time?

When my kids were very little, I had to utilize whatever time I had to get writing done, and it was often in small chunks — 20 mins here, half an hour there, at least one blessed hour during nap time. Nowadays, thankfully, they’re much older and I’m able to carve out time in the day to write while they’re in school — though I often also snatch some writing time in the midst of shuttling them to various after-school activities.

Are you one to manage multiple writing projects at a time or do you like to just focus on thing?

I prefer to focus on one thing at a time — though sometimes, that really isn’t possible!

And what is it that keeps you writing?

The idea that my kids, and kids like them, won’t have to look far to find themselves within the pages of a book.

Are you allowed to tell us about your current and future writing?

Next year, I have a middle grade anthology coming out that I edited called THE BEASTS BENEATH THE WINDS! It’s an illustrated collection of short stories about mythical creatures from Southeast Asia, each written by some of the most brilliant SEA and diaspora kidlit authors; truly, it’s been such an honor and a dream that they agreed to be part of it. I also have another middle grade book in the works, though I can’t tell you too much about that yet. And eventually, when I have some breathing room, I’d like to start working on my first novel for adults.

Do you also read young adult books and if so, are there some newer or forthcoming books you've enjoyed and would recommend for us and our readers?

I loved Wen-Yi Lee’s THE DARK WE KNOW, and I’m excited to dive into THE SCARLET THRONE by fellow Malaysian author Amy Leow!

We always appreciate when authors take time to chat with us. Thanks so much and we look forward to reading more of your work in the future!

[oh-shtars]

RFTS!AU AskBox #4

Me to @signed-sapphire for the legendary number of 50 Questions Galore they sent me:

Heads up though, you might notice there’s certain questions skipped. I’m either not able to answer some of the asks at all OR they’re either some art requests that I haven’t finished and will post in future posts. So I had to skip them for this post unfortunately…. I apologise as such. 😅

Anyways, let’s get speeding through them shall we?

1. How do you plan to show the songs?

It should be question 6 of this post here. :)

……

2. How many songs do you plan to have in RFTS?

4 or more. Depends on what I come up with.

……..

3. What ‘vibe’ would each song have?

Uhhhhhhh, idk tbh. I’m really just going with the flow of what this story brings me. You can’t wait to see what the RFTS!plot has in store? Yeah, me too.

……..

4. Who’s voicing Valentino and the main cast?

For Valentino, I’m not sure. I’m debating whether it should be younger Bambi or Ronno’s VA. But he basically has an actual kid’s voice this time rather than a deep-sounding one. (Because honestly, I found that a bit weird personally). For the the other characters, I don’t really mind the voices they have canonically.

And I think I’ve mentioned this before, but even though Sueño can’t speak, I could hear him singing this in this voice hypothetically.

………..

5. Write or draw any cute interaction between Ashueño!

Mk :3

………

6. I know Asha will have a different outfit by the end, but do you have different designs for anyone else?

Yeah, I do actually. Some characters have a different outfit to better reflect their current context. (Like how Sakina would have work clothes similar to Asha.) But I don’t want to reveal most of them at the moment since I would like to keep them a secret for now.

……

7. Some Gabo doodles, if you don’t mind. I rarely see the short king in any Wish Art.

Fiiiiine.

His design makes a lot more sense if you were me and you knew the context. Take this art with whatever theories you guys can throw at me 😂

……. 10. What made Amaya fall in love with Magnifico? What changed?

Amaya had a family who greatly discouraged her interest in studying magic and potions since it’s against what their family has done for generations. Meanwhile, Magnifico who was adopted as Rosas’ prince, is expected to learn magic but COULDN’T because he struggles to do so since he hasn’t moved on from his trauma.

When these guys were around 16-15 years old, they were mutual best friends. Mag offers Amaya to read from his magic books while he finds comfort in just having a genuine friend who doesn’t remind or push expectations onto him that he hears everyday in the castle. She’s like an escape from the stresses he has in there.

In their future years, Amaya grew to fall in love with someone who promised her the world if she only asked for it. She finds bits of herself in Mag, as both were people with crushed dreams that deserve better. (In their POV anyway.)

Falling in love was not at all what she expected since she used to believe sympathy would only hold her back from exploring the limits of magic. But you know, Amaya’s as much as a tragic character as Magnifico is.

…….

11. Who fell first and who fell harder between those two?

Is it possible to say that RFTS!Magnifico is both?

……..

12. Any fun fact about the Royal Couple? (You can tell who I’m most invested in. lol.)

The only reason Espino, the royal cat, is in the castle is because Amaya wanted him around. Otherwise, if it were up to Mag, that cat is out to the streets. He’s not very fond of animals and he considers them as pests. Though, Espino gets small bonus points from Magnifico just because he keeps the castle clear from mice which he especially hates.

(Good to know you’re enjoying ‘Grand Despair’ while it lasts :)

……

13. This may be weird but…Body Swap! How would Hopes and Dreams react?

Asha would have zero idea how to get star magic under control. Meanwhile, Sueño finds an interesting realisation.

……..

14. What’s your favourite fanart piece of your AU?

I LOVE all of them so much!! They’re all made by very amazing artists!! I’m so happy to see these silly characters I’ve made be brought to life in someone else’s style. 💖💖

Mere words can’t express this joy enough. I hope you all would love the final chapters once they do come out as much as you loved seeing content of them now. X3

……..

15. Are you telling your story via writing or art of word dump?

I’m planning to share it in chapters like how Anny and everyone else has been doing. Plus some more sketches I would keep making of them obviously.

………

17. Draw Ashueño dressed as another Disney couple!

Hehehehehe guess whooo~ 🙃

………

19. Young!Sueño!

Which one? 🙃

Awww, good times back then when the little guy is still figuring out the forms he likes….

…… 20. Young!Royal Couple!

Mini Magnifico would rather drown himself or drink snake venom than call Oliver his dad- ………

22. Give some more lore on Asha’s father. Are you keeping him as close to the source material as possible? Will we see him in flashbacks or something?

You’ll definitely get to see Tomás at certain points in the story. Either in the short prologue, mentions and flashbacks. He’s generally a friendly guy but at the same time, is also assertive to defend what he thinks is wrong. But even though his life was cut short, Tomás ended up inspiring more people than he thinks. Especially his old friend, Sabino, who hasn’t given another wish or attended any more wish ceremonies after his death.

I don’t think we really knew much about Asha’s father at all in the canon movie, but I’ll pretty much be close to what is depicted there already with some more detail on how he made an influence in the lives of those he loves.

………

23. Give Sueño a stuffed toy for him to cuddle with. He deserves it <3

He adores it so much 💖💖

……….

24. More lore about the Astral Realm!

Not all Wishing Stars have the strong desire to venture down into the human realm someday and that’s completely fine. They can still guide their wishmaker from above. But for those who do want to, they need to answer one important question first:

“Why do you grant wishes?”

Since they would be going down to earth by themselves ALONE with none of their elders to guide them this time, their answer to this question serves as their anchor in case they get lost or distracted. Answers do vary and some may be the same among stars, but that’s fine. As long as they’re sincere with all their core on their answer. Some examples may be: “I like to see them reach their very best and reap their deserved rewards.” Or “I like watching them journey and discover themselves.”

……….

25. SNEAK PEAKS!!

This scene is one of my dotpoints I came up with but I’m not so sure anymore if that would still fit in and whether I should scrap it. Regardless, I thought this would be a nice little thing to show you all. Proof that I’m indeed working on it 😅

(Actually, this sounds so cute to draw. Feel welcome to try and do so if you want to, my fellow artists ^^)

…… 26. How does Magnifico’s magic work?

I made a whole post on this :3

………

27. Where did Amaya learn potions?

She’s self-taught mostly. But I also did mention that Mag generously lets her borrow what is meant to be his books of magic soooo, he played a role on that as well.

……

29. What’s Amaya’s opinion on the other Wish AU Mags?

I’m not exactly sure how different her opinions would be on each of them since I think we all decided to have our fun with Magnifico just being a shameless show-off and fun evil villain. I’ll try though.

Amaya would think KOW!Mag reminds her a lot of her own husband, also short-tempered and a disgustingly sweet romantic at times. She’s kind of a play-hard-to-get girl though 😂. One thing she does notice is that what WRTS!, Wish Granted! And KOW!Mag have in common is how loud they are with their ceremonies. Is that a universal Magnifico thing? Eh. There sure is a lot of interesting knowledge to learn from these universes. Hmmm.

TKoRaT!Maggy has that same pained look that falls on RFTS!Mag whenever he’s sulking by himself and needs time alone. Usually it’s because of his old village trauma. It’s an intriguing but ever so familiar cycle she recognises well.

Meanwhile. TFS!Mag is……different, she would say. Not exactly good different. I kinda imagine her eyeing this guy like a cat. This Mag just gives off a very different vibe of non-ruthlessness(?) that she’s not used to.

……..

30. Same for Mag, but vice versa.

RFTS!Mag gets very very very familiar vibes with KOW! And Wish Granted!Amaya. He finds it slightly amusing since it feels like his wife just became a part of some triplets. (He jokingly asked RFTS!Amaya if she had any sisters she never told him. The woman wasn’t amused. She doesn’t really like being reminded of her family.) I’m sorry TKoRaT! And TFS!Amaya, but you’ve made the decision to adopt Asha as your daughter and so he thinks lower of you now. Although…the TKoRaT!couple might just get to redeem themselves for that since they sound interesting enough. They’re going to have the ditch the girl though at some point.

WRTS!Amaya just feels off. He doesn’t know what exactly though? Is he losing his mind or something? Ugh, I think he could use devouring another Wish Bubble just in case…

……..

31. You know what, for Asha and Sueño too!

Oh boy, here we go. 😂

Asha will NOT be able to handle Wish Granted!Star’s energy. It’s so different from the silent but still lively conversations she has with her Starboy. Star just can’t bring himself to stop talking, can he? 😅 Asha thinks WRTS!Aster and TKoRaT!Star are adorable. Cielo may be a bit much at times with his light teasing and flirting, but she’s aware he means well.

I could see Asha’s non-hesitant empathy, patience and genuine concern to Haedus would be a huge comfort for the poor guy. (Trust me, she’s done this plenty before.) She’s a bit surprised to see Naos and Nembus but I think they’d get along just fine. She’s pretty good with playing with kids from her experience with a mischievous Valentino. And lastly, KOW!Aster is a total sweetheart that she jokingly comments could rival Sueño’s. (That comment caught Sueño’s attention quickly lmao.)

MEANWHILE:

Sueño is more hesitant and unwilling at first to approach humans by his own accord. He’ll still keep a short distance buuuut… if they’re just another version of Asha, it can’t be that horrible, right?

KOW!Asha’s drawings are a familiar sight for him and he’s impressed that she could bring her own drawings to life. Same goes for WRTS!Asha with her magic wand. Maybe they’re friendly… Maybe they could both do that together :D He’s neutral with Wish Granted! And Aled’s Asha for now until he gets to know them better.

Sueño recognises that same shyness and timid nature in TKoRaT!Asha. (It’s weird how she does the same thing RFTS!Asha does of turning their head away and hiding behind their hair when he innocently just looks her way.)

And then there’s…….HER. TFS!Asha. Cielo talks about her a lot….😬. But you know, that girl scares him.

Unfortunately, Sueño is staying a relatively farther distance away from the last two Ashas I mentioned. Why? Idk, probably the fact that they’re the daughter of Mag and Amaya-

……….

32. *Gives Sueño an iPad with Duolingo on it* Here my child. Learn Spanish.

I have a feeling you did this so he could finally find out what his name, ‘Sueño’ translates into. Lol, nope. Not yet he’s not.

He still appreciates the gesture though, but the guy got distracted by the other cool features and apps this weird magical mirror-tablet thing(?) had and completely forgot all about the Owl app.

……

33. Will Asha ever attempt to learn Celestial? Maybe with a candle? Like Morse Code? Idk.

Idk. Speaking Celestial is really just stars exchanging screechy sound waves to each other telepathically like words, while their glowing sequences indicates the mood and tone of what they’re saying. Maybe if Asha comes to learn how to harness light magic on her own, she’ll be able to at least convey emotions such as happiness in it by controlling the brightness and duration of each flash.

…….

35. How are you planning out your story?

I usually think of what main message I’m trying to get across first and build the story around it. After some character and world-building stuff (that I keep adding to because procrastination), I put the key scenes I could think of in bullet-point format and then just think up some in-between scenes that could occur between those points.

Usually though, the most usual process is that a random concept/idea pops into my head and then I immediately type it down so I won’t forget it. It’s basically my thing now to organise the giant mess of reminders into comprehensive plot lines.

I’m not writing the story at this point. The story is choosing to expose itself to me XD

Another main thing I do is listen to my Spotify playlist of this AU, read the Wish Artbook, or rewatch a movie that has inspired the RFTS! plot in some way.

……..

36. Are there any kisses in your story?

Hmmmmm….. *glances at Ashueño and Amnifico*

Oh well, since you’ve asked me, I gueeeeess I’m unfortunately now going to have to remove all the kisses I had included since y’all are so desperate to know….. (/jk)

……..

38. Will the Royal Couple have villain transformations?

………..

39. What’s your take on the ‘eating wishes’ thing?

As I’ve mentioned in my last post on how the magic system works in the RFTS!AU, Magnifico eats wish essence to reverse the costly effects of using Curse Magic. To put it simply, he uses them to make him more mentally stable.

.,,,,,,,,

40. What Easter Eggs are you planning to put in your story?

Awwwww, where’s the fun in that? Find them yourselves >:)))

And who knows? Maybe certain fellow creators in the Wish Rewrite Fandom will make a reference in some of the chapters. Keep an eye out 😉

……..

42. What exactly does Asha’s job entail?

Being a king’s apprentice is a way to gain experience and learn how to use magic by the king himself, so you could use the attained knowledge as to however you want. Share the talent with Rosas or Go out into the world.

However, when Magnifico’s reign started, he forbade magic usage other than he and his wife with the claim that it’s for the greater good and safety for Rosas. (He kinda had a point since criminal activity and accidents did decrease in number after that rule.)

Since Mag doesn’t really need an apprentice, Asha is more of an assistant now, following in her dad’s footsteps before her. She’s tasked to do help with whatever Mag might need around his study such as keep the fire going or organise his papers. But Mag doesn’t really like having her around a lot, (since she asks a lot of questions about his wish-keeping system) so he purposefully tells her to go carry out outside tasks such as go into the garden and help the gardeners or something.

……..

43. Did Magnifico make Sueño’s bonds?

If I told you, would that make you more blood-thirsty enough to gather pitchforks and torches for his head? Because if you are, please don’t. I still need this guy to stir up conflict in my story :((

(You can have him all you want though once I’m done with him. Lmao.)

………

44. How was Rosas founded?

Nearly a century ago, the kingdom was first built. I’ve read in the Art book that Rosas was apparently named to reference ‘Beauty and the Beast.’

Like, ok….?

Anyways, I found that roses are meant to represent love, rebirth and beauty. So I decided to add more onto that than just have it as another reference. The kingdom’s founders wanted Rosas to be a place where people who are wary and feel outcasted by their homes can find and start a new beginning. To ‘Rebirth’ and have a second chance to find the ‘beauty and love’ in their lives again,

Blue and white were made the royal colours because the blue was meant to stand for trust and reliability and white for new beginnings. Symbolising the past kings and queens’ responsibility to have their talents in sorcery be used to serve the people who come here. Thus, Rosas’ citizens all are in a variety of different cultures.

……..

45. Over how many days does your story take?

I’m thinking within one month. It’s a race-against-time sort of thing where Asha needs to find out how to confront the Royal Couple before they do something horrible on Rosas’ celebration of its 100th anniversary, which is literally just a month away.

…….

46. What was your favourite part of Wish? Are you translating that to your AU?

I really really loved how Mag’s magic looked and how he went all evil-ish green as a tribute to past Disney villains. If we ignore the awkward transition he had from sympathetic to just plain psychotic, it’s a cool magic display. I kinda wished they went more full out on the final battle because it just felt so underwhelming asf.

I’m keeping the magical final battle but with more magical funsies. :D

…….

47. Least favourite part?

I’m frustrated how bland and empty the character interactions and emotional beats are since those kinds of moments are usually my favourite when it comes to movies.

Magnifico’s tragic loss of his village? “Pfft- What tragedy? We don’t need that in the movie’s 2nd half.”

Asha’s dead father? “Eh. We only needed him for a few mins and he’s non-existent from that point on.”

Valentino claims to be Asha’s helpful animal sidekick. “Did I mention I have a deep voice? Oh, and my butt’s a funny thing too. Did I already mention that my voice is loud and soooo deep??”

Simon’s betrayal? “Oh wow, that was a shock…. Anyways, wanna start a rebellion?”

OMG, Sakina’s wish is back!! “What was the wish about? Idk who cares.”

Asha’s friendship with Star doesn’t even feel that special to me?? GUYS, I felt more chemistry between Rapunzel and Pascal. COME ON, BUILD IT UP. DON’T JUST SAY ‘Awww, you and I are thinking the same thing~’ AND EXPECT ME TO BUY THAT.

……….

48. What’s your favourite aspect of the TFS!AU?

Idk why, but I like how there’s a unique twist in your AU on how Wishing Stars don’t have the best reputation to humans. It’s a nice subversion that makes it stand out a little more. :)) Because usually, the idea of wishing on stars is always seen as a positive thing but that’s not the case in this story. It’s intriguing to watch characters slowly realise that not everything is what it seems.

That, and the hilarious dynamic you’ve got going on between Cielo and Asha and how deep in denial they both are, even though it’s clear as day to the other TFS!cast. 😂

(Wouldn’t it be funny if TFS!Mag and Amaya also noticed? They may be going down a dark path but they’re not blind, girl.)

……..

50. What’s a boring fact about you?

Uhhhhhh…. I like organising stuff by colour for fun...? Like, I used to pour out a box of legos and sort through them as a kind of pastime. I still organise coloured pencils in rainbow order if I could too. �� ………

@annymation @uva124 @your-ne1ghbor @ficsinhistory @rascalentertainments @gracebethartacc @spectator-zee

It’s a long read, but I think you guys would enjoy going through it regardless. I hope so anyways.

Btw, thx for all the fun questions Bo! 💖 Might post some more regarding your other doodle requests that I’ve put to the side for now if you don’t mind. :))

[iaus]

okay floodgates are open. incoherent rambling time

okay first things first salem is SO funny because initially when i made him i was literally sitting here like what would it look like if i mashed together traits of tardif and damian from darkest dungeon. well. you end up with a rage-y hulk of a man who flattens his affect so much that he can't come to grips with ANYTHING that happens to him so he just distances himself from his past repeatedly until he's like.

i'm adjusted. i got over this. i'm a completely normal functioning human being. > bolts at the first sign of someone wanting a relationship from him. (but. as i've said before the whole Thing with alfie in my head is more complicated than JUST that. i think salem and alfie were in a mutually toxic situationship that never resolved or will ever resolve.) BUT. he is a dnd character so i couldn't help but add More Trauma to his background

so like. i've always in my head been Vague about whether his family is actually dead but HE very much believes that. so he has that guilt of if he leaves someone that they'll die while he's not there. (which is kind of resurfacing now in the game with salem getting yera to steal a hairbrush and hair from alfie's house LOL.) but.

now we get to the point of this post because i haven't like actually Written Down salem's family dynamics even though they're really clear in my head.

so when i thought more about salem's family i was thinking more like nomadic nordic and germanic tribes (his original weapon was named freawaru after the character in beowulf) and i was also thinking of hyena hierarchies and family structures so, naturally, i was like okay his family is basically like this gigantic matriarchal amalgamation of his immediate family and cousins. i always pictured them as a mix of aasimar, gnoll, shifters/lycans, and half-orcs that lived in the anarouch desert. they'd move about trading and offering protection along the black road.

also fun fact salem's birth name (orrak dalthu) is a mix of gnoll and orc names.

his dad isn't in the picture but he's never felt inclined to meet his father. i still need to think more about the inner "politics" of his family but i never pictured his mother as the matriarch of the family BUT i did always see his older half-sister being "next in line" which made her a lot more responsible and less "fun" to salem.

but luckily for little salem he did have a twin, mihr, and cousins close in age so it's not like he was alone and bored. but i think the general gist of his relationship with his siblings is

kedil (older half-sister by 7 years): the go-to when he needed help with things. close but kind of strained due to her being busy and kind of aloof in general. i think salem couldn't really comprehend the responsibilities kedil had and just in that little kid way was like. you just hate me because you never have time for me. he misses her A Lot.

mihr (twin): whenever i describe mihr in my mind or in the few things i've written about salem's past i tend to have salem refer to mihr as his little shadow. i also see mihr as really frail and sickly compared to salem. he would get bullied by their cousins and salem WOULD stick up for him in public but in private salem would always be like. you need to be Better. you can't let them do that to you. the first time salem died i told eli that salem had a moment in the afterlife where he forgot mihr's name and i think it shook him to his core.

adri (younger sister by 2 years): tbh i see adri as not wanting much to do with salem. she was doing her Own Thing because she didn't want to play with the stinky boys. i think salem DID have a huge soft spot for her because she was so independent and if she ever asked for anything he and mihr would be ON it. the feeling was not mutual.

ihyn (younger half-brother by 6 years): ihyn was not on salem's radar. he was probably mostly jealous of him because since ihyn was the BABY baby of his siblings he would get a lot of attention from their mom. ngl salem probably was pulling pranks on ihyn as a teen.

anyway. all this to say. salem leaving and then coming back to his whole family missing/dead has fucked with him A LOT. he's used to having this huge family around him and to have that completely wrenched away from him has really made him leery to make connections with people because he doesn't want that experience of losing people again.

i have no other point.

he needs therapy <3

[afurtivecake]

Neil's so funny fr cuz what other character looks at a countdown to their own demise and has the attitude of "I didn't ask for a secretary 🙄" or who isn't fun to torture cuz of his laissez faire attitude to it. nobody doing it like him.

do u have any opinions on neil? or andreil?

yes. because i'm obsessed with those two assholes. next.

sorry, i'm only kidding, of course i will talk about it in detail and at length because i'm incapable of shutting up once you get me going.

wymack (in one of the short stories) says neil is "ragged around the edges and ice all the way through" and i think that describes him perfectly. dude is seriously unhinged and a bit of a sociopath and he doesn't even realize it. he's out there thinking that he has a bit of a temper issue but that's it. and then he'll say things like how he wasn't paying attention to what people were saying cuz he was too busy taking in riko's agonized screams or how he no longer cared what the psychiatrist has to say because he's already served his use in getting andrew clean. and that's all just normal to him. he doesn't really mind using people, he's kind of bloodthirsty, he'll cut people where it hurts (verbally) and he genuinely doesn't feel anything for any of the deaths that happen. none of that is insane or troubling behaviour on its own, but the fact that he doesn't seem to think it's particularly troubling behaviour is what's troubling. when he does care, it's about what other people will think of his reactions. ice all the bloody way through.

sometimes i feel so bad for andrew like, "this??? THIS is what you want???" but alright, to each their own. i love that andrew probably has more natural empathy than neil and that neil probably has more practice at finding empathy and utilizing it than andrew. between them, they might scrounge up enough functional empathy to nearly make up one full normal person. then i remember that i, someone who isn't ever 100% sure i'm showing my empathy correctly and doesn't know what to do when other people react with strong empathy, happen to be friends with a lot of the same sort of people...................so i'd be lying if i said i don't understand why they feel comfortable around each other.

yeah but my main opinion is that i'm pretty happy for them never to say 'i love you' or marry or even acknowledge their relationship openly. they just go home to the same home, do their share of tasks and chores, hang out in each other's company, wait for each other, do things for each other, give each other casual gifts, fuck, wake up next to each other, and if anyone asks them if they're together, they shrug and give the simplest, barest version of the truth: they live together.

personally i find this headcanon nice and reassuring because, if you did not grow up hearing affection and love expressed in words, the words 'i love you' can feel really empty and uncomfortable to receive or use. (a thing i did not realize myself until i had to give a speech at a wedding and choked on using the word 'love'.) to me, it's reassuring that they can just exist together as they are. I don't see it as a sign that they need more healing, necessarily. idk, at some point, how much of your personality is your trauma and how much of it is just you? if you fully heal from everything, would you still be yourself? no bloody clue. but hey, i like that people do head canon them being really soft and gooey and nice. i think it says a lot about who they are as people and i'm glad for that.

[kaleido-write]

Chapter 6 ask

Ngl this one is pretty sweet and short , I just don't like how the exemple of generosity is money related. Perhaps it could be about how she given time ect because that the first thing that comes to mind is money is a bit shallow to me , but it's only my personal opinion about that

Its a bit weird to have the only femme lesbian be a dead one 🧍‍♂️like what's the message supposed to be...

Its basically the disposable trope like come one rusty femmes deserve better...

If you don't like femmes just don't portray them its not that deep i promise

I like the black hairstyles ! And the fact that it's different from Jaden rn is a good sign of growth as a character

Its also fun to see Jaden parents , her mother potentially working in a religious setting ? (With the earrings that could indicate her interest/job) and with her father with his firefighter hat

The cap is again way too long 😭😭 you can just shade half the face if you're too lazy to design a new character

The hands on the camera are a tad weird but for the rest its pretty cute , I would make the horns on faith less big because it's likely heavy for her head to have something this large

I think its great one of her happiest memory is buying pants

But , I would've drawn her with shaved leg to represent that even if she's able to make choices for herself she still isn't completely free from the influence of her family

Im not a big fan of this trope , honestly, I hate the trope where the kid takes on the parental role in the relationship and it shown as positive and healthy because it's perpetuating the narrative that the oldest daughters are the ones that should save their mother , wich in a comic supposed to highlight women and detach itself from patriarchal view is ironic , rusty is perpetuating a harmful narrative that is rooted in generational trauma and puts a lot of burden on the kid that shouldn't have to handle the parental role .

Thats cute and light hearted , i like their friendship/the cute little crush parniya has on her the hands again could be better tho

I like that one of their favorite moment is dancing , because dance has such a big place in queer spaces that even if it's not intentional , showing their love trough art , something that historically is a sign of rebellion amd communication is pretty cool , their love in itself is a sign of rebellion agaisnt society and it's norms

What the fuck 😭

Going vegetarian isn't like an alternative to treatment , it can in some rare cases help reduces the chances of some heart disease to go stronger but it's not a treatment

Why wouldn't it be about going back to their traditions ??? Or why wouldn't it be because Jacob has an allergy or they just get asked by Jaden to go meat free and they do in order to support her

Thats a way better approach , rather than becoming vegetarian didn't save my father 💀

[ink-flavored]

Reworking Pride

BTS Series: ⬅ Table of Contents - Reworking Justice ➡ Also available on Neocities! P&J Taglist (Check out my Google form to get added): @elegant-paper-collection @auroblaze @zeenimf @vacantgodling @foxys-fantasy-tales Banner art by @auroblaze

The first thing I decided needed a rework was, no surprise, the protagonist. Pride would need to change significantly, and not just for the obvious reasons. I needed to have a different visual for him so I could more easily create a separate personality and motivation from scratch, instead of constantly associating him with his alternate fanfiction self. I can’t draw, so I went onto this Picrew and threw together an initial appearance I could work off of.

I wanted to keep some of the punk elements like piercings and alternative dress, both as a kind of homage and to put a big neon sign over his head that reads HAS PROBLEMS WITH AUTHORITY. Same thing with the eyeliner—explicitly not conforming to gender norms, both signaling a problem with authority and implied queerness, which is intentional. The goatee was for fun, since “haha goats and Satan,” but I liked it so much I kept it. I did decide to make him white, instead of Japanese like his fanfiction counterpart, which is a change I did make with a purpose (I’ll get into it). The horns and tail being the classic cartoon devil were the only options available. It wasn’t the look I was going for with the story, but I added them anyway because they were cute.

One big deviation I decided on right away was that this isn’t going to be a stolen body, for Pride or Justice. Their appearances are what they look like, all the time, and Pride will ferry the soul for his contract without hijacking their appearance. I actually changed the way the whole contract thing works, too, but that’s a story for another post.

From here, I began brainstorming his personality. The fanfiction Pride & Justice was very short, so there wasn’t a whole lot of room for character development or action. In fact, Pride has a static character arc through the whole story. The only thing that changes by the end is him admitting that he’s scared to go back to Hell, and the rest of his personality remains exactly the same. That isn’t going to fly as an original character in a longer story.

In this new story, Pride as a character needs to be a shithead, for lack of better description. Not only is he a demon, he’s the embodiment of hubris, self-importance, and the root of all sin. He needs to be loud, obnoxious, arrogant, and outraged, if not violent, when he doesn’t get his way. Paradoxically, he also desperately needs people to like him. It’s well-documented that people with healthy relationships with their pride don’t do the grandiose “look at me, I’m so special” thing—their pride is self-evident, and exudes naturally. The people who do act incredibly shitty like this are compensating for a low self-esteem, declaring that they’re the best, that everything they do is the best, and that everyone should like them for being so obviously the best. This, of course, turns potential friends and companions away, and sends them further down into their spiral.

I took a great deal of (mostly tongue-in-cheek) inspiration from a Tweet by Sarah Hagi (that I can unfortunately not find the link to): “God, give me the confidence of a mediocre white dude.” I want Pride to be a critique of that guy you know, the one who acts like he’s the best thing since sliced bread, but isn’t really as great as he claims, and deep down he knows it. He hurts people to boost himself up, using his position of power over others to make himself feel more secure. Sure, he’s had pain, maybe even trauma, but he doesn’t want you to know that. It would be weak, in his mind, to admit that he has wounds so deep he can’t even look himself in the mirror.

So, as my protagonist, Pride needs to be fundamentally self-absorbed, taking pleasure in the pain of others, because he’s compensating for and masking a very deep emotional pain. I don’t want to be so black-and-white as to make the entire concept of “having pride” a strict evil, so over the course of the story I want to develop him into a healthier version of it. This would give him a very fulfilling arc—he begins the story as the negative expression of pride, hubris and self-importance and viciousness, and ends on the positive end of the spectrum, with genuine self-respect and confidence without needing to harm others. That’s a whole dang character with flaws and potential for growth if I do say so myself!

Obviously, I wasn’t quite done. Pride needed a pain to endure, something that would turn him into the vindictive little asshole we see before us. What better pain for a demon to have, what better way to turn them bitter against all of humanity and virtue, than to be cast out of Heaven by God for questioning His authority? Not only is Pride a demon, he’s one of the fallen angels who rebelled with Lucifer when he fell from Heaven.

My wonderful girlfriend, AuroBlaze, helped me solidify Pride’s appearance so I wouldn’t have to use the Picrew forever. The idea of him having the blond roots of his hair exposed was played as a joke, at first, because how funny would it be for him to always look like he had a shitty hair-dye job? But while we were talking, I realized it could be a brilliant metaphor for the very shoddy mask he wears to hide his aforementioned bitterness and trauma—especially if those exposed roots are the color his hair used to be as an angel, that won’t stay covered up, no matter how hard he tries.

EDITOR’S NOTE: The blond roots are still the color his hair was as an angel, but the reason they stick around is because it's essentially a magical scar. His dark hair stops right where it meets his horns, his broken halo. His former-holiness is burned into him, and can't be transformed or dyed away.

While we were discussing what I actually wanted his horns to look like, I solved a few world-building birds with one stone. The demons in this story, instead of just being goth angels, have their wings cut off by the other angels when they fall. Their halos are cracked in two, jammed into their heads, and become their horns, eternally smoking with once-holy fire. They grow tails from the trails of fire they leave as they fall to Hell, like the trail of a comet. They have several permanent reminders of the grace they lost.

Lo and behold, we have our final design:

[Tumblr version] [Instagram version]

Welcome to the world, Pride! You are a menace to society and will cause so much distress to everyone around you.

A few other details that I want to mention before we go: All demons have a secondary beast form they can transform into, either fully or partially (i.e. Pride can summon one monster arm if he wants). Compare this to angels having a human form and a “flaming wheel of eyes and fire” form. His horns and tail are also optional in this way—he can hide them from humans entirely if he wants. I won’t get deep into his powers or how this story’s version of magic works, but there’s a good chance I’ll make a separate post about it later.

EDITOR’S NOTE: You can see his beast form here, also drawn by AuroBlaze!

Also, for those of you waiting with bated breath for this: Pride will be explicitly bisexual in this book. I’m not quite sure how I’m going to bring it up yet, but I am very excited to populate this story with a lot of queer and trans characters, so it’ll be a topic at some point for sure.

On that note, there’s an internal war waging within me about whether or not I should make Pride trans. I’ve been on the fence about it for a while. Since he’s a multi-dimensional immortal creature who chose every detail of his body to his exact specifications, he wouldn’t need top surgery, hormones, or anything like that. It would just be the lower half that’s the contested zone. Normally, that wouldn’t be a big deal, but this story is a romance and there will be sex in it. So it’s unusually pressing!

The arguments against? I don’t want to perpetuate any harmful assumptions by making a trans character literally on the side of the devil. I already have more than a few trans side characters in the story, but I still don’t want to make any unfortunate comparisons in today’s landscape. There’s the whole “indoctrination” thing, tempting others to sin is a big part of his personal magic arsenal, don’t need to make too many jumps to get disingenuous there. There’s also the matter of my intended commentary—the “mediocre white man” stuff. While being trans wouldn’t make him less of a man, obviously, the kind of behavior I’m trying to critique is seen most often in cis white men. They use toxic masculinity as a shield because they’ve been told all their lives they aren’t allowed to show “weakness” in the form of emotional vulnerability, and hurting others is how they feel strong—like a “real man”—in the face of their pain. I don’t want to mess with the foundations of that critique, risk muddying it, or accidentally send a completely different message than I intended with such a delicate subject.

The arguments for are more self-indulgent. I am a huge fan of adding things to a story just because you like them, and something about Pride screams TRANS! at me. Trans men aren’t seen often in media, especially trans men who are visibly, vocally, and proudly gender non-conforming, and that representation is personally important to me. Also, trans men who don’t feel the need to get surgery are plenty scarce in the media landscape, which is again important to me personally. Beyond my personal investment, the metaphors I could play with regarding transness and fallen angels, and how toxic American Evangelical Christianity is to queer identities would tie in with a lot of other themes in the book. For any other story, that alone would be enough for me to shrug and make the change, but still I hesitate. Thoughts? Feelings? Advice? I’d love to hear it.

EDITOR’S NOTE: In the time since I wrote this post, I did decide to make Pride canonically a trans man. Once I started viewing him as trans, I couldn’t un-see it, and it became an inextricable part of him as a character. I do plan on tying in all of the above-mentioned metaphors into his character, and more. One of Pride’s arcs in the book is about his self-discovery—about becoming someone he actually wants to be, not tied down to anyone’s opinion of him, and growing into a person who doesn’t need to identify himself with his past trauma. It moves him so powerfully, he genuinely wants to be a human by the end of the book, something he once reviled because of how they stole God’s love from him. I think the growth, metaphor, and representation all come together to be more important than the “mediocre white man” thing, or any possible bad-faith readings of a trans character (which the inevitable dipshits will do no matter what).

WHEW, this one was a doozy. I guess I was really excited to introduce this story officially! Thanks for reading this ramble all the way to the end. And as always, thank you for your continued support!

See you next time for more Behind The Scenes action!

— Annika

[adrinoir]

Headcanon: Adrien Agreste is Trans? (Part 5)

Part 5 let’s gooooo!

Wow, so, as I’m going through my own trans journey, I was inspired by some to write another part of this headcanon. I was somehow able to connect Adrien’s character to parts of my own journey. It’s pretty cool!

Here are the other parts of this headcanon if you’d like to read those: part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4

Usual disclaimer: this is just for fun! Obviously cis boys can have these same qualities and traits. Don’t take it too seriously. These are all just things I’ve noticed. Also please keep in mind I haven't watched anything beyond Migration as I’m writing this (I’m using the material I have so far).

CW: mentions of transphobia and abuse

The struggle to envision his future

Trans people can struggle to envision their life in the future due to not having older trans people to look up to. Or they feel so depressed from gender dysphoria or judgement for being trans that it makes it hard for them to see what their future will be like.

We see in Wishmaker, Adrien doesn’t have much of an idea as to what he wants for his future. He told Luka and Marinette that his head feels empty. And, additionally, he said to Ladybug he never had any childhood dreams.

When he’s hit by Wishmaker, he turns into who he is now. I mentioned in part 2 of this headcanon that there’s trauma behind that, and Adrien is trying to be this perfect young man for his parents. However, I want to look at it from a different perspective-

Consider, he turns into himself now - not even an older version of himself with no differences whatsoever, meaning he possibly might not see anything beyond the person he is now. Or (TW here) he didn’t see (or could barely see) a future for himself as a kid because he was so depressed and dysphoric. It’s not uncommon for trans kids to feel like they won’t live to transition. Especially with Adrien, if he is trans, I can only imagine how terrifying it would be for him trying to come out to his parents.

Or, if he was at first confused by his dysphoria and trying to figure out his identity as a child, that confusion could’ve clouded his vision for his future. He couldn’t completely understand who he is and why he was feeling the way that he was.

Not fully understanding yourself and who you are - even within your gender identity - can cloud how you see yourself now and in your future.

The “I just want to be a son!” line

The line Adrien said in Risk: “I just want to be a son!” stands out to me a lot.

I know he mainly meant it in a way of saying that he wants to be treated like a regular kid by his own father, not like a model. But, - listen, I’ll take whatever crumbs I can get - there’s a strong emphasis on this line and making sure he specifies “son.”

Having this strong desire to no longer model (which is in fact one of my other signs I listed in part 4 of my headcanon) and saying he wants to be a son just gives me vibes that he’s so dehumanized by his own father. His father barely treats him like he’s his kid and uses him as marketing for his designs. And referring to another part of this headcanon (part 1), him and his father have this unexplainable disconnect, even though Adrien is such a good son. I had mentioned maybe it’s because Adrien is trans and his father barely accepts this.

So, if it is true that this disconnect is caused (or at least partially caused) by Adrien being trans, he wants to make it clear he’s at least his son, not his daughter.

The dehumanization

Speaking of that unexplainable disconnect and dehumanization I had just mentioned, I want to get into more detail about that.

Gabriel continues to care so little about his own son, and at this point in the series, we see he’s barely even treated like a human anymore. Gabriel’s behavior has worsened. Gabriel had the audacity to free Adrien of his modeling career by creating a fake AI version of him.

That is absolutely dehumanizing. Like, is it good that Adrien is no longer a model? Yes. But is it good that there’s a duplicate of him saying things and making expressions that aren’t real? Things he never said and did himself?

It’s incredibly slimy behavior to see your son as a marketing tool and way to reach your own stingy goals. And that begs the question: why does Gabriel see his son as just these things? How could a father treat his son with such little love and apathy?

This reminds me a lot of transphobic people because they don’t think of trans people as real people. They say and treat them as if they aren’t humans. They’re willing to threaten them, spit on them, possibly unalive them, insult the daylights out of them, etc as if they don’t have human emotions and lives. And, these transphobes are typically hateful, evil people, just like Mr. Gabriel Agreste.

One could argue that Gabriel has just gone absolutely insane and he showed some compassion for Adrien in earlier parts of the series. But, I don’t feel this is true. Referring to Wishmaker (again lol), it’s shown his parents have had expectations of him his whole life. Their love for him was conditional starting from his early childhood, and we’re not given reason as to why this is - it’s just been suspected to be abuse.

And, if we knock out my first section about Adrien not realizing his future, maybe he did know since childhood that he’s trans. And perhaps he defied his parents (like he did when he ran away to the school) and started taking steps to transition (as many steps as he could before needing his parents to weigh in and be somewhat accepting). That’s why Gabriel neglects Adrien and dehumanizes him, and him just going crazy showed more of his true colors - colors that have existed within him all along.

The relationship & physical affection discomfort

In Adrien’s first relationship, he was so uncomfortable with Kagami despite how long they were friends prior to. Understandably, this was his first relationship, Kagami made a lot of assumptions about him as a person, and came on really strong. But, despite liking her, he was still so uncomfortable and never really got over that.

You’d think he would’ve been okay with kissing her and more physical touch since he seemingly had a bit of a crush on her for quite some time. But he hardly was. And he showed a bit of disappointment when she made wrong assumptions about who he really is.

If Adrien has gender dysphoria, he’s not going to feel very comfortable with physical affection, especially with someone who has the wrong idea of him as a person; someone who doesn’t know he’s trans (at least not yet). Notice how he also backs away at times when Ladybug actually tries to be physically affectionate with him (particularly the Fake Ladybug in Puppeteer 2).

Adrien only seems okay with physical affection if he initiates it. If someone else tries to initiate that first move when he’s not completely comfortable with them, he gets uncomfortable. It has to be by his terms. This could be him having to gain that bit of trust since he’s used to that dismissive attachment style from his father who neglects him - it reflects itself in romantic relationships. But it could also be bodily gender dysphoria and the fact that no one would know he’s trans (aside from his own family).

[callsignvulture]

Author + Blog Information‼️

This is just a post to get know more about me plus more information regarding this specific blog page! This is not intended to turn into a personal blog, so any questions regarding to silly questions like “What’s your favorite band?” Or “What animes/games do you like?” Will be answer on my personal blog here! I love answering silly questions, but I’d rather keep that on my personal everyday use blog❤️

☆★☆★→About Me!←☆★☆★

Q1.✏️: What’s my name, age & pronouns?

My name is Noah, but prefer to go by my online alias of Vulture. I’m 19 years old and I use He/They pronouns!

Q2.✏️: What’s my post schedule?

It’s been kinda dotty, but on August 19th, 2024, I will be starting school again(I’m a college student studying Criminal Justice!). Once school starts, most of my posts will be on Thursdays, Fridays and Sundays unless I make an update post!

Q3.✏️: Of all things, why make posts on Call Of Duty?

While I like many other things such as Stardew Valley, Chainsaw Man, Splatoon, Fire Emblem, Cult Of The Lamb, BTD/TPOF, and so on, I have a very big soft spot for the Call Of Duty games and it’s characters! Military related things have always been one of my biggest hyperfixations growing up as a military brat* myself, so when I got into the games earlier this year, it just consumed my autism and I love it.

*Military Brat: A child who grew up/grows up with in a family where one or both parents are in the military. In my case, my dad is in the Army and I have many memories of growing up on base and going to the armory. Some good, a lot terrible, but I still fondly remember my childhood.❤️

(Call Of Duty totally doesn’t help me cope with my daddy issues and childhood trauma pffttt you’re crazy-)

Q4.✏️: Who can interact with my posts?

While I will always be happy when any fans of the games interact with my posts, I prefer those fans be over 18+ due to the fact that I post NSFW content! Of course, if someone under 18 interacts with my SFW posts, I won’t be upset. But if you are a minor and interact with my NSFW blogs, you will be blocked and removed from my page. I do repost my SFW content in my personal blog and would prefer that fans under 18 use that blog instead to see my posts!:)

Q5.✏️: If I have a suggestion, headcanon or post idea, can I post it to your ask box?

ABSOLUTELY!! I love seeing what everyone else has to say about the games and characters!! Idgaf how crazy or silly it may seem, I welcome most ideas with open arms❤️

Q6.✏️: What WILL I post?

Headcanons, NSFW, SFW, one-shots, Imagines….pretty much anything!

Q7.✏️: What WILL I NOT post?

Dead Dove, Do Not Eat. For my more hardcore stories with those contents, those will be moved to a separate blog dedicated to that. I don’t have any in works right now, but be advised that those will not be posted to this blog spot.

Q8.✏️: Why the name Vulture?

This is actually a fun question. Vulture is the call sign of one of the characters I’m writing! I’m still in the works of making the character, but the way she got her call sign is simple: She’s known for looting bodies of dead enemy soldiers like how vultures eat their food. Also, I also think it’s just a badass call sign lol.

Q9.✏️: If I have any other questions about your blog spot or you, where can I ask those questions?

Right under this post! I’m sure there’s some other questions in regards to my posts and content, or just me as a writer, but off the top of my head, I can’t think of anything else. So if I missed anything else of importance, please let me know and I will update this blog to contain those questions!

Happy readings!🤍

[beetleviolet]

How did you come up with there designs??

- previous anon

HELLOOOO ANON! :D

THANKS SM FOR THE ASK HHEHEHE I LOVE TO RAMBLE!

WOW this is a loaded question. Idk if you know what you just signed up for loll.

Short answer: Vibes

Long answer:

First I just chose 4 species of turtles i thought were cool. I did a project Alabama Red Bellied Cooters (Leo) so it was already in my brain, after some research I found the yellow bellied slider (donnie) which is just SO PRETTY, Mikey is a mud turtle, which is a super small turtle and has these gorgeous orange spots, and Raph is a northern diamondback terrapin, because ahhh they have polka dots!

The turtle types i chose were purely aesthetic, and then i just assigned one for each turtle in a way I thought looked nice. The clothes and how the characters present themselves is really what I worked the most on.

I wanted to focus a lot on the characters differences and similarities. People dress differently depending on what they do, where they go, climate, sensory needs, personal style, etc. Its important to kinda balance practicality and something that makes sense for the character vs something that just looks cool. I talk about designs under the one for each character, but here I'll hit the highlights from a purely design standpoint.

Leo: The tallest of the brothers as he accepts his role of the oldest and carries it with him wherever he goes. I thought his stripes being over his eyes would be a nice nod to rottmnt leo. For his outfit, he wears his mission outfit (ninja pants and straps), just most of the time just the pants with no straps. Leo experienced some pretty intense trauma at a young age (i will get more into this in the comic) resulting in him never really feeling safe. This is why he is constantly in his battle outfit, ready in case something goes wrong. His straps for his mission outfit are the base for the rest of the group.

Donnie: Donnie really looks up to Leo, and wants to make it up to him for stuff that happened in the same traumatic event. He wants to be someone his brother can be proud of, and from his perspective, this means being like Leo. This is why things like their face shape, stripe pattern, and height mirror eachother. Donnie wears overalls because he needs lots of pockets, plus they are cute, but what says the most about him is his mask. Leo wears a more classic tmnt mask, and in an attempt to be like him, Donnie does the same, except it gets really annoying on his face, so he pushes it up on his head like a headband. This is my favorite detail! He wears his mask when trying to be impressive or serious, but you can see the real Donnie peaking through when he pushes it back. This happens already in one of the early updates of the first part of the comic.

Donnie's strap for his mission outfit is very similar to Leo, except his Hamato crest is put on his chest, and it attaches to a tool belt instead of his pants.

Raph: so admittedly I didn't put as much time and thought into raph and mike as I did Leo or Donnie, but whatever. Raph typically wears dark colors, sweatpants, t-shirts, tank tops, and hoodies. Clothes aren't super important to him, and he just wants something he can move and be comfortable in. Like all Raphs, he is a bit of a rebel, and is angsty, so this kinda translates into his clothes. Since Raph doesn't put much thought into what he wears, neither do I. Oh, and he wears his bandana like a kerchief on his head, so it's out of his face like Donnies.

His straps go in a V because I ran out of shapes.

He is shorter then Donnie even though he's older, because I'm short and projecting.

Mikey: Mikey is the smallest of the group, since a lot of his arc is trying to stand out and be treated more like his age. Fun fact: he and Donnie are twins, but people, especially those outside of his fam, treat Donnie with more respect because he appears and presents older.

Mikey loves to wear bright colors. Like, so much that you can barely see him under them. He wears big t-shirts that he tie dyed himself and mismatched leg warmers. I can't wait to show his "going to the surface outfit" because it is just so much fun. His mask is around his neck like a cowboy because 1. He's more childish 2. Leo and him are obsessed with a comic about Space Cowboys.

Mikey's mission outfit straps are an x over his chest like a safety harness. (I also just got this idea, but an X over someone's chest in ballet means death. This might come into play later)

Side note: the characters bandanas will help symbolize their arcs. When a character goes through development, their bandana will change, for better or for worse.

April O'Neil: Actually the first design concept i came up with. Thinking of the original April O'Neil yellow jacket, I wanted to give her a battle jacket. Because it's a comic I couldn't get in too much detail, but I'll probably do a full design at some point. Probably.

April wears combat boots, pants with patches, and she dyed her hair since April O'Neil was originally a red head, except in mine April's hair is the color of a fire truck. Her outfit is good for school and tramping through the sewers, and the smiley faced knee patch is a nodd to Mikey from rottmnt.

Splinter: I've only seen brown or gray Splinters, but a lot of the pet rays I've seen are white or spotted, so I decided to give him spots. I wanted the characters to have a stable parental figure, and most of their unresolved trauma resulted from that event I keep talking about (aka "the incident") and a lack of proper acknowledgment afterward.

Splinter has his fancy robes, but he also has his Dad Outfit, which is Khakis and a polo. It was very important to me that he was rocking a Dad bod, because every good Dad need a dad bod. He has 4 ninja children to rangle, after all!

LONG LONG STORY SHORT SHORT:

Never design a character before you get to know them. Learn stuff about them before determining what they might like. Draw a bunch of little thumbnails, experiment, have fun! Draw or doodle all your characters next to eachother to see if their vibes make sense, even if they contrast. Draw your characters doing things. Focus on their verb. What does your character do? What do they need to wear to make that work? And how can you make that cute? And don't be afraid to have them change over time!

Well, that's all I got. Thanks for the ask!

[cielsosinfel]

here are my thoughts on all BG3 companions up through the end of Act 1 and very beginning of Act 2:

Astarion: light of my life, I am actually spoiled for probably 95% of his story, he is such a disgusting and rancid poor little meow meow and I want to see him grievously mutilated and tortured and then gently put back together again (repeat). As a faggy bi man he is the best #representation I have seen yet from mainstream media lmao. If i speak too much about him this whole post will be about him, sorry. Guro noncon yandere kink fanfic material out the wazoo, tho (Also of course I have many many thoughts on his character's narrative around trauma and healing or the lack thereof, but, too many words)

Shadowheart: I LOOOOVE HER I love her. I kind of wish they'd kept her as initially hostile and cruel as in EA after viewing video of it, but I also enjoy how she seems low-key and almost normal, though an asshole, and then BAM suddenly she's waxing poetic about committing terrifying emotional and physical torture in the name of her beloved mommy goddess. She is such an asshole and I feel like she gets soft on the PC weirdly fast, but I also do enjoy how playing Dark Urge informs the relationship dynamic as her backstory and personality unfolds, how the fact she becomes Best Friends with them despite the whole blackout-frenzied-murder and urges to eat corpses plays into her own issues and desire for understanding and connection (the memory loss and disconnect from her previous life and sense of self, the god devotion, wanting to make herself an even worse person in the name of her god, how completely committed she is in the art of torture and causing suffering, how she's simultaneously disgusted by and intrigued by Dark Urge's whole murder cannibalism urges.) Anyway yes she's great, I love her turmoil about not living up to her potential as a Shar-loving religious zealot and expert torturer.

Wyll: Wylllllllllll I feel like he was done so dirty by the writers between Early Release and Release. They should have continued to let him be an asshole warring with living up to heroic ideals, who just made a deal with a demon out of desperation for respect and appreciation. But he's fun in release too, just too low-key for me? With Dark Urge it's interesting because he is truly the most morally Good-Aligned party-member, probably, and I think about how he must grapple his morals with aiding and growing close to a murderous gore-loving freak. He's constantly having to compromise his own deeply-held ideals in the name of getting the tadpole out of his head, and I wonder about that constantly. At the same time, he's so focused on doing good and the cause of justice but is REALLY REALLY DOWN FOR GOBLIN MASS-MURDER... Like OK Wyll!! They kept that from Early Access at least lmao. His relationship with Mizora and the angst and regret he feels at signing a contract with her, for making this one major ill-thought decision while in a high-stress "do or die" situation, gets me, the way he's like, so resigned to it... How he's so resigned to being transformed into the very thing he'd dedicated his life to culling existence of (demons.) (The constant metaphors to being a pampered pet on a leash get to me.) Though you know, it still gets me he's lamenting how ugly he looks with horns, claws and fangs, in the middle of a party full of Tiefling who just faced a lot of life-threatening discrimination for looking like demons... lmao... especially when he's venting these things to a Tiefling Durge lmao... oh wyll...... Anyway I think he's sweet, and I have even more thoughts on him and Astarion being foils who need to fuck. I want to learn more about his daddy issues so I can give him a proper daddy kink. Wow, how is this the longest part of this post.

OK THIS GOT TOO LONG AND ITS ONLY THREE CHARACTERS!!!! I am going to an indie comics and arts festival today, I will come back to do the rest of the characters later.

[henriiiii-1001old]

alt swap au ramblings bc they are rotating in my brain <33333

i just kinda wanted to ramble abt the characters' like personalities and stuff so ye :D

cain murray: pre vol 1 he was very outgoing and enthusiastic! loved meeting people and going out to parties or malls or whatever he felt like doing that day! however post vol 1, his newly diagnosed c-ptsd and general trauma from the incident caused him to shy away from people. he became overly paranoid of everyone around him, including his own siblings. and after the paranoia came the depression, which only worsened his mental state overall. he probably should not have been chosen to be the main face of bps lemme tell you that much.

mabel murray: the most level headed member of bps and is actually the one who came up with the idea for it! she had always been interested in the paranormal, and they also wanted to get to the bottom of the whole alternate situation due to them almost killing his brother. he handles all the online stuff for the group under the alias "stanley" due to its face being on multiple "alternate sighting report" signs all over the counties.

seth murray: struggles with a lot of things, such as emotions, feeling empathy, feeling. anything really. he was diagnosed with both aspd and autism from a young age, and a lot of people think he's basically unapproachable because of said conditions. he likes to be by himself for most of the time, but he does like hanging out with cain and mabel sometimes! he'll crack a few jokes with them here and there, and while he doesn't show it on his face he really does enjoy their company! he also may think davis is a little annoying and way too self centered, but he keeps him busy so he doesn't mind.

thatcher "davis" marshall: very self centered and way too cocky for his own good, but he's generally fun to be around! he's usually one to take really unnecessary risks, but they're usually all in good fun! he's the biggest troublemaker of bps as well, always finding a way to damage properly -- on accident or on purpose no one ever knows) -- or just messes around with the other members to poke fun. however, he is very self conscious about his appearance, and having a demon roommate with your name who constantly looks like your younger self doesn't help. he comes off as someone who would tackle a situation head-on except for the fact he runs from true danger at the first chance he gets.

lilith miller: very snotty and bratty and WILL BITE YOU if provoked. she had a troubled childhood where her parents were constantly fighting about her, which led her to get into multiple fights with classmates from school as a way to mitigate the pain. she most often fought with seth because they absolutely HATED each other and wanted every chance they got to snap at each other. the only place that wanted to hire her was dave because of said past, and she kinda hates him. but she puts up with him because she knows she won't be able to get any other job. she is very suspicious of her employer due to him having the only television in the state, in which tvs were banned for years at this point.

gabriel o'brien: lieutenant of the mcpd except he's less depressed and more concerned for the county. he ended up being the last member of the force due to the whole alternates thing, and he really tries to not let it get to him. he and maria weren't too close, but he did take her death as the first sign that things were definitely going to shit. he also doesn't trust dave very much, but he goes to him whenever he needs help with particular tech stuff regardless.

maria weaver: very softspoken and tried helping others whenever possible. definitely a favorite in the department before her death, and she is remembered dearly, even by those who left the police force. she had always wanted to get to know gabriel better, but she never found the courage to try and talk to him even if she was getting support from other friends in the department. and she unfortunately never got to make that step towards what could have been a really great friendship.

terry "toony" o'brien: gabriel's older twin brother who runs the local church in mandela. terry got the nickname "toony" from being SUPER obsessed with cartoons when he was a kid. he is very softspoken and genuinely cares about the county. while his brother tries to tackle trouble head on, terry is much more passive and tries resolving conflicts with victims of alternates and M.A.D. this did cause a bunch of arguments to spawn between the brothers, which led to terry wanting to cut ties with gabriel and led to his ultimate demise.

dave: literally canon gabriel but with a lil more whimsy. he still runs mandelatech, as it acts as a way to meet and kill victims faster. he keeps in touch with a certain terry o'brien due to selecting him as his "mandela prophet". he doesn't care at all for human life and just fucks around because he's basically god and will do anything to abuse his power, even against his own kind.

adam: one of the most active and most dangerous alts right under dave. he orchestrates a lot of child kidnappings around mandela and sometimes has eve and jonah help. while he is the most active of the alts, he doesn't really talk to them other than for maybe 3 or 4 of them (which would just be jonah, eve, dave, and seth). he's EXTREMELY manipulative and will do anything to get his way, even if things have to go off script for that to happen. the most prominent example of this would be adam having to tell seth the truth on his home computer instead of the basement.

eve: an accomplice to adam who helps adam kidnap and kill children for. whatever the canon reason would be. she mostly likes to occupy mirrors and creep in the shadows. in terms of kidnapping children, she'd be like a "motherly" figure, calming the children down when they get upset and making it seem like going with her would take them to a happier place with a happier family. of course it's all lies, and she loves to make them, especially when taunting a certain lilith miller.

jonah: an accomplice to adam and eve who also assists with their child kidnapping schemes by distracting children with a luring them in with a cartoon or some other sort of child friendly show. he is generally afraid of adam due to how often he bursts out in anger in front of jonah, but he takes it and pushes his own feelings down. he reluctantly follows dave's orders and hopes for the best really.

ruth: doesn't like to interact with other alternates often, and she isn't the biggest fan of causing deaths and stuff. she'd rather spread M.A.D. and be done for the day. she is only slightly tolerable of dave due to her working for him, but she seems to like "thatcher"? they've hung out a few times, and it was always awkward, but they'd sometimes like some quiet time and they'd enjoy each other's company anyway. she's probably met davis before, in which she'd think he's iffy. she think he'd only get in the way of whatever dave's plan is and almost killed him one time to try and ease that anxiety.

"thatcher": he is best described as just a lil guy bc that's really what he is! he is very curious about people overall and tries his best to not fulfill his alternate duties. his best excuse to do this without too many questions from other alts is stalking/rooming with davis and taking his appearance. he actually was first meant to haunt gabriel after vol 333 events, but thatcher found more interest in davis as he was following gabriel home. he is generally pretty shy and is willing to give a helping hand in whatever someone needs at the moment.

[hollisofficial]

49 and 50 for the OC ask game 😎

THANK YOU DAME!!!!!!!!!!! YIPPEE

49. Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memes

100% cena, whos entire existence is based around a meme from jr high. hes since became an actual oc with his own serious story, but his roots still remain and i continue to only make fun of him and redraw him over memes. his seriousness can continue to live in only my head.

alternatively: geb, who, if they knew what memes were, would fucking love them.

50. Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you want

UNFORTUNATE FOR YOU im going to talk abt ttt. forever.

for background: ttt and a decent chunk of other characters only fit into my (human oc) stories via a character named jeanie who can see ghosts. i know. marry sue but i am free<3

ok!! so, ttt is a ghost and hes the second oldest ghost in the story (time on earth wise). my story is set in the way future of (maybe) this world, and ttt is introduced around the time that theres a giant nuclear war and subsequent fallout. while he was alive he was a doomsday prepper which was (for the time) rightfully so. he spends about 5 years living down in a bunker eating a shit ton of shelf stable doomsday prepper stuff. as you can imagine living alone in a concrete hole for years didnt treat him very well mentally, but thats besides the point for now. it will all be erased once he becomes a ghost (and replaced with more trauma). at any rate, he ends up running out of food/water earlier than planned and has to wander out into the wasteland to try to find supplies. he doesnt last too long out there (havent decided on a time but probably a little less than a year). he gets stabbed in the remains of a walmart over a can of beans. and ends up dying.

ttt becomes a ghost! in this universe when people become ghosts its usually for a reason (think unfinished business, need to atone, or have some grander purpose type stuff) but for whatever reason t just got fucked over and wasnt actually supposed to become a ghost. his ghost-ness coincides with a time period where a lot of fucked up things are happening with the deities that are in charge of the solar system and at the time the deities that controlled things like death + fate were MIA. so all in all ttt becoming a ghost was genuinely just a glitch in the system type thing.

because of this ttt is. interesting as a ghost. unlike all other ghosts he doesnt really have an appearance. instead hes just vaguely brown/gray humanoid (ignore the ttt sign on him for now, thats not part of his appearance and i'll get to that later). additionally, t cant remember a single thing about his time as a human nor what his name is, hence the name ttt. i know what his human name is but thats secret information not in the story. most importantly to t's story is that he cant be seen by 99.9% of other ghosts.

the reason behind this fact has to do with the weird mechanics of being a ghost. it kind of works like channels or levels on a tv. when you become a ghost youre randomly given a handfull of 'channels' you can access and this ties into certain powers that ghosts can have. for example: being able to touch a ouija board or mess with radio-frequencies would require you to have access to those two channels- not all ghosts can do so. almost everything runs on channels, even just simple things like 'have an appearance' and 'being seen by others' and 'see others'. theres also an insane number of duplicate channels, so for example one ghost could have quite a large number of 'being seen by others' channels which allows them to be seen by a large number of ghosts that share those channels. conversely, (in ttts case) he only has a few 'being seen by others' channels and quite a few 'see others' so basically he can see other ghosts, but they cant see or interact with him. sorry that was longwinded but i love my ghost mechanics. theres more to the mechanics via a ranking tier system but for the sake of brevity i WILL NOT BE GETTIN INTO THAT.

at any rate. because of weird ghost mechanics and because t was fucked up and wasnt supposed to be a ghost, he cant be seen by almost anybody, but he can still see them. as you can imagine this is horrible. ttt spends centuries wandering through the post-nuked world as a ghost trying to find other ghosts to interact with. as the centuries go on he just slowly loses hope more and more and bitterly resigns himself to the fact that he'll never be able to interact with people in the way that he wants. (small sidenote: despite ttt not having baseline/low level channels like being seen, he does have some fairly high level channels that let him interact with the physical world (think like typical poltergeist stuff like throwing small objects ect). this ofc is not a very good substitute for being able to interact with people).

so anyway, ttt spends centuries being functionally alone again. kinda meant to mirror his time in the bunker. resigning to not being able to mess with anything, ttt just tends to pass the time people watching and trying to entertain himself other ways. one day hes people watching and happens upon a literal murder (theres more to this bc its someone elses story but i wont get too detailed bc its edgy emo). this ofc isnt the first time t's seen something like this and (being a touch bitter abt his unable-to-interact-with-anybody situation), t basically just watches and once the murdered guy's ghost drags himself outta the river t just starts roasting the new ghost for being stupid and getting murdered, thinking he cant be seen or heard.

unfortunately this is the first ghost that can actually see and hear ttt.

the new ghost (whos name is perry) is basically just like. (status: doesnt know hes dead or whats happening) HUH?? WH?? WHO ARE YOU?? ttt proceeds to freak the fuck out bc HOLY SHIT THE FIRST PERSON WHO CAN SEE AND HEAR ME?!? WHAT?!? hes completely elated and brain short circuiting at the same time, so hes falling over his words and trying to explain things and say sorry for being a dick to him (thats the least thing perrys worried about). amongst the confusion perry somehow gets it into his head that ttt is his guardian angel because hes some like shapeless entity that appeared after perry (apparently??) died (perry voice: wh huh what do you mean i got shot???).

they speedrun getting to know each other bc ttts just railroading the conversation bc hes so excited and perrys still on like “my name… its perry right..?” brain . perry sticks with t for a while (still assuming hes his guardian or smth) but it literally only takes like half a night for perry to realize like . ok maybe im wrong . (ttt hotwires a car and drives the two of them around before crashing it [another pastime] and thats when perry kinda decides like . no i dont think this guy is an angel.) (during the carride perry also keeps phasing thru the seat + out of the car bc he cant do ghost stuff yet) (also ttts able to hotwire + drive the car bc touching irl stuff to an extent is one of his aforementioned powers).

oh also, the name ttt came from perry and t's first interaction. perry asked what t's name was and t (who didnt know his name) just made something up on the spot and ttt it was.

after that the two of them just end up constantly being together (bc perry really hasnt met anyone else yet so he doesnt exactly like, know theres others out there . and t is ofc not leaving perrys side). it is very evident that ttt is basically attached at perrys hip and VERY afraid to lose him. i mean, perrys the first person who hes been able to talk to for literal centuries and now that ttt has that lifeline hes clutching to it for dear life.

the more they get to know each other t opens up and lets perry know that like . yea youre the first person thats been able to see me and ive KIIIINDA been alone and unable to interact with anyone for a few thousand years . no big deal or anything (<-guy whos brain was becoming mush from lack of interaction). perry starts to understand just everything t must have been through + why he acts so.. like that. he assures t that theres no way he would leave t behind.

i dont have very much for what the two of them did between their meeting and the current timeline in the story, but basically the two of them fuck around for 400 years or so. sometime during that time perry finds a super old (prewar) magazine ad for fiji and the two of them decide they wanna go. so now their thing is perry constantly is trying to teleport (one of his powers) them to fiji but he cant bc fiji doesnt exist anymore and he keeps (unknowingly) teleporting them to the remnants of old fiji water bottles. theyre on like a mission to find fiji.

eventually, one of such teleporting incidents lead them to meeting the character jeanie by chance, who, by the power of I Say So (and a whole nother plot i wont get into), can see ghosts. perry and t end up staying with jeanie as well as a couple of other ghosts that hang with jeanie (their names ade hummingbird and ekr). the five of them become very found family. the rest of their story becomes the group getting wrapped up in/uncovering weird deity politics and subsequently trying to change jeanie and his friend pattersons fate and keep them from dying.

oh yeah, and the ttt thing on ttt's head is a floating apparition of a stickynote that perry controls so the other two ghosts can tell where ttt is.

more doodles:

[bluejaysandblackbats]

An Oyster's Pearl

Fandom: DC Comics

Summary: Shortly after moving in with Joseph Wilson, Grant Wilson makes friends with a fellow pledge for a fraternity. During this time, Grant grapples with realizations about his childhood trauma, his sexuality, and his relationships with his father and siblings.

Chapters: 4/?

Characters: Grant Wilson, Joseph Wilson, Rose Wilson, Dick Grayson, Slade Wilson, William Randolph Wintergreen, Original Character(s)

Relationships: Grant Wilson/Original Character, DickJoey

Additional Tags: University AU, No Capes AU, Angst, Deaf Joseph Wilson, Fluff and Angst, Romance, Grant Wilson has a Sexuality Crisis, Frat Boy Grant Wilson

Chapter Four: Watering Hole

I wasn't so stubborn and angry that I would ignore Joey and his hangover that morning. I sat on his bed and put a cool towel over his forehead. He lay curled up in a ball, but his hangover didn't keep him from turning to me. "Remember when we were kids, and you broke into Mom's liquor cabinet?" I signed it so he wouldn't have to crane his neck to look me in the face.

"Don't remind me," Joey held his hands in front of his face.

"Mom would've killed you had you not—."

Joey waved his hands in front of my face. "You can change the subject now," Joey interrupted.

"If you drink pickle brine, it'll make your hangover disappear," I suggested.

"Pickle juice is disgusting. I'd rather suffer," Joey declined. I chuckled.

"Are you going to class today?" I asked. Joey shook his head. "Want me to get anything from the store?" Joey nodded.

"Popsicles and frozen pizzas," Joey replied.

"Check the freezer," I grinned, "I'll be home at five, maybe six." I didn't say anything else. I left his room and got ready for school.

I had scrambled eggs and a fruit smoothie and went to school. I went straight to Tau Psi to sign up and ran into Ken. "You weren't lying about coming in bright and early," Ken smiled. He had a gap. I hadn't noticed it before, but it made his smile stand out and made me want to smile back. "I hear they're gonna send an announcement e-mail at six."

"About what?" I asked. Ken shrugged, and he started walking to class. I went with him because I was headed that way. "What's your major?"

"I'm a double major in Criminal Justice and Psychology. What about you?" Ken asked, walking backward as he spoke to me.

"I'm in Chem, which is funny... My brother is the smartest of the three of us," I explained, "He's double majoring in Art and Cybersecurity."

"You must really care about your brother. You talk about him a lot," Ken noted, "Except when you're shitfaced."

Ken was an asshole too. Not as big an asshole as me, but it was enough for me to think we could be friends. "Fill the space then. Tell me about yourself," I replied as I nudged him out of the way of a group of kids touring the college.

"Two minutes off your game, Torrance—."

"Thanks, Ken," Torrance replied as he passed us with his group. Ken chuckled and shook his head.

"Torrance hates my guts because I was always the better tour guide... There's your fun fact about me," Ken stated, "Well, I've gotta go. Abnormal Psych calls to me."

"My Chem class is across the hall. See you after?" I asked. Okay, so I get how that can be misconstrued as me showing romantic interest in him, but cut me some slack. My best friend is my brother, and we were estranged from each other until a few months ago.

Ken nodded and threw up the peace sign before walking into his classroom. I went to mine shortly after, but I couldn't shake the feeling that one —if not both of us— was weird. The class seemed to drone on forever, and when it was over, I stood outside, waiting for Ken. He walked me to football practice, and I was shocked when he decided to stick around and watch. I liked having a friend. It was oddly encouraging having someone in the stands to offer a thumb's up or comical thumb's down. I wondered why he picked me.

I couldn't imagine anyone wanting to spend that much time with me. I mean, not even Joey could tolerate me for that long. Joey's classes and boyfriend were the only reason he could stomach living with me as an adult. I wasn't the nicest guy to be around, and it was obvious to most people that I'd been on my own since I was a teenager. After practice, I got a snack and hit the gym for an hour. Ken stuck with me, and he changed into his gym clothes. He spotted me at the weight bench and told me about his family. His parents were dead, and his sister practically raised him. "She was twenty, and I was maybe eight or nine. Before our parents died, she was just the big sister that lived far away... Oh, and she sucked at being a parent that first few months—. I'm rambling," Ken laughed uncomfortably before joining me on the treadmills.

"No, it's okay. Your sister sounds like she was a better sibling to you than I could ever be to my brother and sister," I replied. I meant it.

"You have a sister?" Ken asked.

"Yeah... I didn't know I had a sister until three years ago. My dad tried to dump her in some private school, but I guess he had a change of heart, and now she lives with him, but it's weird," I replied, "She's existed all this time, but I'm only getting to know her now."

"Sounds like your family situation is complicated... It makes me glad it was just Ama and me," Ken let out a breath. I chuckled.

My alarm went off in my pocket, and I took my phone out. "Got another Chem class in thirty minutes. I guess I'll see you later?" I asked. Ken nodded. I left him at the treadmills, and I showered and dressed for my next class.

Talking with him was refreshing in a way that I'd never experienced before. I don't know. It felt like I could speak to him for hours about anything. I probably would've told him my whole life story if I had the time. After class, I got an e-mail just as Ken said about meeting at the Tau Psi house at six in the morning to get paired up. After that, I went home and soaked in the tub while Joey worked on a painting in the living room. I didn't mention Ken to him because I didn't want him to make it weird for me. Every relationship —be it a friendship or a romantic relationship— that I've ever had has failed miserably. I hoped that Rose and Joey were wrong and that Ken just wanted to be my friend.

After soaking for nearly thirty minutes, I joined Joey for dinner and started my homework. "Can Dick spend the night?" Joey asked. The question came out of nowhere.

"I don't like that question... It makes me seem uncomfortable with you having a boyfriend," I replied. Joey chewed his lip. "I'm not! I'm not uncomfortable with you having a boyfriend."

"You say that, but you cringe whenever I say his name," Joey replied.

"His name is Dick... Besides, we fought the first time I met him. I'm not against you having a boyfriend... Hell! I don't even mind you dating him because that's your choice. I personally don't like him," I confessed. Joey put his face in his hands and started laughing.

"So, you don't feel weird about me having a man stay the night?" Joey asked.

"He can stay the night. I don't mind it as long as he doesn't touch my stuff," I replied. Joey nodded excitedly. Honestly, I was happy for him. Joey deserved happiness more than anybody I'd ever met. He was my little brother, and I couldn't deprive him of that, no matter how much I disliked his boyfriend.

Joey texted him, and he put his phone down, tapping the table excitedly. It made me wonder what it'd feel like to be with someone who made me feel loved like that. I think Joey noticed that my thoughts started to drift because he frowned. "You okay?" Joey asked. I nodded. "Swear?"

"Yeah," I lied. It was better than ruining Joey's night. "And you would've snuck him in through the fire escape anyway. Nothing gets past me, Joe. Nothing."

Joey shook his head and smirked like he knew something I didn't. I hated when he did that because he was usually right. "Hey, Grant?" Joey grabbed my wrist. His face was serious, and it scared me.

"What?" I asked.

"You're a true LGBT ally," Joey teased. I gave him the finger on my way to my room. Joey followed me to my room and knocked on the door. "Did you sign up for that frat?"

"Yeah, I did," I replied. Joey didn't say anything for a while, but I could tell he wanted to. "I hung out with Ken if that's what you wanna know."

"I'm glad you've got a new friend," Joey replied. He didn't say what he wanted to say. I was glad he didn't. I didn't have many friends. Actually, I didn't have any friends.