#fun fact (healthy) masculinity is not a bad thing

[sadkachow]

you know what? i like being masculine. i like identifying as a (nonbinary) trans man. i like being mlm/nblm. i like being me.

[mikuni14]

I know I keep talking about Tharn and how wonderful he is, but I also have to say something about Phaya. Who is, on reflection, a perfect example of a "manly man"✨, the main character of an action movies, who works for me for once. He's also one of the few action/adventure/crime MLs that I find really hot and attractive, something other productions almost never achieve. Why? Because - I say this only from my perspective - what the producers THINK will be attractive to me is completely different from what I actually FIND attractive.

Phaya is a classic male hero, but he takes classic patterns of masculinity and reworks them in his own way.

Phaya looks very masculine, but in a way that I like. He's muscular, but not too much. His muscles were developed through martial arts training, sparring, something that is related to his hobby and work, not worked out just for being muscular. We see him determined and focused when he goes through training, but he also has fun sparring with his friends, instructors, WITH THARN (that's a completely different story 🔥). We see that he likes healthy competition, that he has ambitions, but he is focused on improving himself, not on proving to others that he is better than them. Phaya has a healthy approach to his body, to competition and to sports.

I like that Phaya takes care of himself, that he tries to look good (especially for his crush), BUT AT THE SAME TIME he has no qualms about finding the most embarrassing matching shirts and persuading said crush to put them on and casually stroll around the tourist area town, looking like a funny, old married couple. Phaya has a healthy attitude towards his appearance and how people perceive him (he doesn't give a fuck). The most important thing is that Tharn is by his side. In a matching shirt.

I like how active and task-oriented Phaya is, that he recognizes his own or any other problems and just does something about them. Suspicious murder? Phaya starts ivestigating. Strange dreams? Phaya has been researching it all his life, now he's going to the place where he can find answers. Tharn is not answering his calls? Phaya doesn't get offended, he doesn't create scenarios in his head, he just goes to Tharn, confronts him and comes up with a creative way to relax the stressed Tharn. Phaya acts, does research, has no qualms about asking for help and accepting help. Phaya is a pack animal, not this lone wolf bullshit.

I absolutely love how open Phaya is with his feelings, with himself. Friends? Grandmother? The Abbot? THARN? Phaya doesn't hide anything. When Tharn asks if he's feeling ok at the festival, Phaya tells him about his troubling feelings, he doesn't hide behind a straight face and "I'm fine." Phaya is not afraid or ashamed of his feelings or talking about them. Or admitting weakness, feeling bad or even fear.

what deserves a special mention is how open Phaya is about his interest in Tharn - towards Tharn and the rest of the world. Phaya is like "Tharn, I'm so interested in you and I want you to know it". And if anyone else sees this, it's not his and Tharn's problem, it's the world's problem, because Phaya is too busy with Tharn, who is all delicious right there, to worry about the rest of the world. Phaya is a grown man who knows what he wants and currently wants Tharn and to be a good cop and solve the mystery of his dreams and he will not waste his energy and time on proving his worth or anything else to the world.

Phaya has his own life BEYOND the romanse. He has a job, ambitions, a family, a home, his art, interests, and his own personal problems to face. Tharn is a part of his life, a new part, because Phaya existed as a person before Tharn.

I also like how Phaya treats his sexuality, namely he is completely ordinary and normal about it 😀 No issues, no trauma, no internal conflicts, no "finding himself", no crisis. I like the fact that he is pushy with Tharn, and although I'm normally not a big fan of kisses "without warning", it doesn't bother me in this case because Phaya is completely aware that Tharn likes him "that way". Tharn is flirting heavily with Phaya and they already had their almost kiss, so Phaya didn't cross the line with him. Besides, Tharn is also a grown man who can read Phaya's intentions, and he kissed him first - twice 😂 Phaya's sexuality is not a problem in this story, he is very simple about it.

Phaya is the kind of action hero that simply suits me. He seems to fit the type: he's aggressive, cocky, talented, smart, inventive, handsome and athletic. But he is also - in a quite ordinary way- nice, caring, friendly, supportive and helpful. He doesn't put himself in the center, he doesn't make everything about himself. He's also very funny, doesn't take himself seriously, can be a classic dudebro, goes to parties where he plays stupid games 🍾 and he is open with his feelings. He is naturally, effortlessly cool, but sometimes he is a bit pathetic and doesn't get everything right.

For me, Phaya is Phaya from the scene in the tub of icy water, hugging and supporting Tharn (because he wants BOTH of them to pass this test), it is Phaya from the scene in the bathroom, super sensitive to Tharn's mood, it is Phaya visiting tourist attractions with his crush and tucking him in to sleep. This is Phaya knowing when he can allow himself more with Tharn and knowing when to stop. This is Phaya who doesn't lie to Tharn, who seduces him, gives him time, gives him space, but at the same time leaves no doubt about how he feels about him and makes sure that Tharn is aware of it. It's Phaya intoxicated by Tharn's closeness and also coming up with cute nicknames for him.

Phaya is a classic model of masculinity without all the toxic, violent, stupid alpha bullshit, but with self-awareness, true personal freedom, the ability to function in a relationship, a family, a team, society, readiness for self-development and emotional maturity. He is a natural leader who can apologize to his teammates. Phaya redefined the male action hero type and I love him for it 💖

[bscully]

Why Zagreus is such a good character

*Obligatory Hades spoiler ahead* Zagreus is so so so interesting from a meta perspective. While his design certainly went into the "attractive bad boy" direction, he is not your usual hyper-masculine protagonist.

Definitely not!

It starts off with his physique, which is not that of a tall, beefy body builder, but more of an ancient greek athlete. He is also shorter than most other Gods, of average size by mortal standards, and doesn’t take kindly to people making fun of his height. I find that a fascinating character design choice to make. From there, let's continue with his character.

His temperament is sanguine; he is a ray of sunshine and loves to share all the warmth that rests in his heart. Which is a fascinating trait to have as Prince of the Underworld, who is veiled in Darkness by Mother Night, Nyx, herself. The following Berserk quote comes to mind: "He who bears light exists in the deepest shadow".

(There is a big conceptual overlap between Hades and Berserk, but I’ll just leave it at that for this post)

Zagreus is a sociable, extroverted type who values family and bonds over everything, is respectful, polite, charming. From someone like him, genuine kindness and honesty are a guarantee. Together with his capacity to empathize, it allows him to form meaningful relationships. His noble spirit and attitude are befitting of a prince. He does not mind stepping out of his comfort zone and challenge himself, either.

When you first beat Hades, he asks Zagreus to tell Persephone that Cerberus is doing well. Zagreus instead demanded an answer for a question in exchange of telling her. However, this question was left unanswered as Hades was taken by the Styx before he could reply. Later on, because Zagreus is a good-natured person and knows his priorities, picking his mother’s needs over the grudge he could hold against his father, he tells Persephone anyways.

There are moments in the game where he is sensitive, observant and catches up on social cues very quickly. He listens to others and apologizes to them when he feels like he may have overstepped a boundary, such was the case when Thanatos berated him for allowing Orpheus visiting his muse Eurodyce and meddled into their affairs without their consent.

Sometimes he appears to have troubles expressing what he feels, or is perhaps insecure or anxious to express it (particularly when interacting with Meg, who is rather intimidating). But despite his hesitations and fears I think he is still doing a good job at it.

Judging from a brief conversation with Alecto, he appears to know how to form healthy habits and deal with difficult situations in a productive, nurturing manner (the fact that 1. Alecto doesn’t take kindly to his attempts at getting along and 2. Zag doesn’t like her for it, is kinda funny to me). He is capable to mediate and settle conflicts between people, this is literally one of the game's primary goals.

Judging by what happened between him and Megaera, it appears he also wasn't always this mature and went a long way learning from his mistakes. His sometimes boastful confidence and his running mouth probably were one of them. Regardless, I'm deeply impressed with Zagreus' emotional intelligence and maturity.

Considering how so many other protagonists typically are characterized, this such an unusual way to write a male one, and as such he really stands out.

I believe it is absolutely necessary that protagonists like him exist and we honestly do need more like him: as these shine a different light on nurturing masculinity and what it can be.

Zagreus is not less of a man because of the radiant and kind person he is. Quite the opposite so, I personally find him extremely attractive (he’s doing things to me oml). He is just being himself: unfiltered, optimistic, with a good sense of humor. He is not even trying to fulfill any gender roles in any shape or form, simply embracing the bonds he has for what they are, living the moment. He does whatever it takes to make the world around him a better place and make the people around him happier. And he started doing that once he stopped running away from his problems.

This reassurance is something boys and men (including those who identify as such) urgently need nowadays.

PS: I’m still not over the fact he canonically likes plushies, the lil dork

[that-one-kiddo-in-the-back]

Grey Jedi and Mandalorians. She's wrong about both

To start off, I am what Lily would describe as a Star Wars weeb. I live, breathe, and shit star wars.

First things first, Gray jedi is not a thing in canon. I'm sorry, everyone who wanted it to be canon it's just not. Ahsoka isn't a gray Jedi and none of the other morally gray characters that can use the force, and it's not because of what Lily thinks. simply put, no mortal force user can be in the middle. Now, you can have force users that don't aline themselves with the jedi or the sith, but that doesn’t make them a Gray jedi. If you're a jedi, you use the light side. That's why you're a jedi, and if you're a sith, you use the dark. That's why you're a sith.

Now that that's out of the way... Lily doesn't know how the Jedi and the Sith work or why people actually want a gray Jedi. She chalks people wanting a gray Jedi as people who can't make a choice because they are scared of that, not because maybe they want a force user that uses both sith techniques and jedi techniques. She brings up the jedi and sith code

She describes the Jedi code as "living without based passion," which isn't the same as just having no attachments. The jedi is loosely based on Buddhist priests who have no earthly attachments, so they can focus on their own self and inner peace and describes the Sith code as something they came up with to spit on the Jedi code and that the "passion they have is was is what's worth living and that living is the nature of the force" and how the sith code is asking why a Jedi wants to be an "empty husk of a person" which it isn't. Much like how the Jedi aren't perfect all the time... the sith still aren't the good guys. The only way you can use sith techniques is to let your anger and other negative feelings run through you. To use your anger to fan the flame where as the Jedi believes that the anger can drown you in sorrow and make you do things you wouldn't.

In Star Wars rebels season three, you watch Ezra struggle with the dark side after everything that happened on Malachor. You watched him become almost a completely different person, how he no longer saw his friends and family as equals but possessions. You saw how he was quickly to anger, and you can see the looks on the crews face when they can tell he's in a bad mood he was spiraling in his guilt for Ahsoka's "death" and getting Kanan blinded by maul. Everyone could tell he wasn't dealing with his trauma in a healthy way. Something lily needs to understand about the Sith is that they are all traumatized for one reason or another, i.e. it's considered taboo for a sith to pick up a young child. The sith believes you have to experience pain in order to open yourself up to the dark side.

The Jedi learns to let go of the past to move forward where the Sith cling onto the hate and lose themselves to it.

Mandalorian time, next to the mortis gods (the ones), the Mandalorians are my favorite group

The Mandalorians are like the real world Spartans (my siblings call them space spartans) fighting and survival of the fitteat teaching their children at young ages to protect themselves and others that can keep up that doesn’t mean they will watch you die well for some anyway. Mandalore is a bit more like earth as it has many clans, with some getting long with each other and others not so much.

She does have a point in that Mandalorians are toxic masculinity except for the fact that their are women Mandalorians and not all the Mandalorians think the same way hell the Mandalorians themselves talk about how much their own war mindset is destroying their planet death watch are considered traitors.

Something I thought was pretty interesting was how she made fun of people who say that Mandalorians can go toe to toe with the jedi... which is a true thing? The jedi and the Mandalorians don't get along all that much because of philosophy and other things. Mandalorian armor is made out of a metal that can't be melted by a lightsaber they made an energy whip to grab like the jedi when they use the force, and my favorite fact that the Mandalorians made guns called slugthrowers which as basically pistols that fire bullets making it impossible for Jedi to defect them

She also brings up dutchess Satine as the "only person that doesn't want the constant war" and how she was killed only for Obi Wan's characters' development and completely ignoring Bo-Katan's. Yeah, she died in Obi Wan's arms, but that didn't really develop his character. If anything, Bo-Katan had much more of an impact as she left Death Watch, the main group that was responsible for her sisters death and even helped get maul the man that killed her sister dethroned the jedi didn't save the Mandalorians they helped them.

At the end of her video, she goes on about how people who like the like the Mandalorians are plugging our ears and going lalalala at her claims, which are fair fan boys in Star Wars are one of the most toxic people you'll find. For Mother's Day, I made a tiktok saying which woman in Star Wars would be a good mother and had one guy telling me to go back to the kitchen (little shameless sharing of my own content don't mind me)

but what killed me was the fact that she fully blames the Jedi for making the clones. Which just isn't true. The clones were a trap set by Darth sidious and count dokku they were made with Jango fett's DNA with his consistency, and he got his own kid out of it. For the most part, the clones were treated with respect from the Jedi plo Koon treating them like battle brothers Anakin treating them like the people they are. Aayla even developed feelings for her commander, Bly. The sith made them kill the jedi when the time was right.

Something that needs to be said is that the Jedi didn't want the war they didn’t want to fight. No one except the sith and corrupted officials wanted the war because of how big it would be, and even more so, no one liked the idea of the clones everyone saw it as a slave army, which only fueled the Confederacy not liking the republic.

If Lily was a Star Wars character, she would have bought all the propaganda about the Jedi being blood thirsty and needed Order 66 to happen. she'd be on the empire side and call the rebel alliance a group of terrorists. Yes, the clones are slaves but they aren't the Jedi's slaves they're the siths Slaves.

Like I said before, at the beginning, I am a big fan of Star Wars, and for the most part of the video, she has some good points I just really wished she'd understand that the Sith aren't good people the Sith are fueled with revenge they use and manipulate the people around them for their own benefit yes the Jedi were corrupt, yes the Jedi aren't good people either. Get the sith off that pedestal. Yes, the Mandalorians aren't the galaxies' strongest species, and yes, the Mandalorians are the physical embodiment of toxic masculinity, but that doesn’t mean the Mandalorians are something that needs to die out.

[our-transmasculine-experience]

Tw: body dysmorphia, body weight mentions, weight loss mentions, self-esteem issues, self-hate mentions

So dealing with either gender dysphoria or body dysmorphia separately is never fun, but dealing with both of them together sucks. Been there, done that. Luckily I’m at a point where I’ve accepted the body I have right now, so even tho I don’t necessarily like it, I don’t have the self-hating thoughts and feels right now. But there is something that makes me worry that those thoughts and feels will come back.

I’m bigger right now than I want to be for health reasons. I don’t think I look bad, but I know I would be healthier if I could lose weight. Plus maybe my butt and thighs could shrink and look less like “feminine curves”. But when I lose weight, my stomach will eventually get flatter. Right now, I don’t bind my chest or even wear a bra, bc wearing anything like that makes me uncomfy mentally bc bras are seen societally as “women’s clothing” and if I would wear a chest binder that would remind me of the fact that I’m afab. I just wear a tank top under a shirt and deal with the physical discomfort of feeling my chest moving. Right now, my stomach is just big enough that in a slightly baggy t-shirt, my chest and stomach all kinda form one line and I don’t really feel my chest moving as I’m walking. But if I suck in my stomach, I’m immediately much more aware of my chest. If I lose weight and my stomach does get flatter, then my chest will start making me feel dysphoric again bc it’ll be more visible and move more when I even just walk.

I’m also unsure about if I actually want to go on T bc one of the things I would want from T is the body shape that looks and feels more masculine to me. But since I’m so unsure about T, my plan is to try to lose weight, get to a healthy weight, work on building muscle and shit, and see if I can change my body shape in a way I like thru that way. Plus my gf wants to help me with all that, so I know I have a safe space to work on that, losing weight and getting healthy and gaining muscle mass. I’m really just complaining about the fact that losing weight will probably make me deal with chest dysphoria, and I don’t want to have to deal with that again. If my chest doesn’t move much and it’s not that visible in my clothes, I’m fine, and chest dysphoria can just exist in the back of my mind. But since I do want to lose weight and get healthier, I’m gonna have to just put up with it.

~wolfyboi

i’m so sorry that you have to deal with that. however, i’m really glad that you have someone who is supportive through all this stuff that honestly sounds like it really sucks.

best of luck, dude!

[kkoumiii]

❁ 𝐋𝐞𝐞 𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐲𝐞𝐨𝐧 | 이상연⎾𝑷𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚⏌*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

/!\ Friendly reminder that my readings should not be taken at face value, I do not claim to hold the truth and I do not mean any harm to this idol, my readings are only for entertainment purposes. /!\

🦋 𝗕𝘂𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗹𝘆 - 𝖳𝖧𝖤 𝖡𝖮𝖸𝖹 🦋

1:47 ───ㅇ───── 4:01

⊱ Sᴀɴɢʏᴇᴏɴ's ϙᴜᴀʟɪᴛɪᴇs ⊰

• Martyr (Light attribute) | Queen of Wands | South Node ~ Life's debts •

- Meticulous, Sangyeon does things conscientiously, he doesn’t like making mistakes (cf. when he didn’t manage to light up the flame during their performance in Road to Kingdom, you can see how frustrated and upset he was)

- Helpful nature, always ready to give a hand to whoever needs it. He naturally takes the lead and guides people

- He definitively has leadership qualities: he is responsible and knows how to manage a team well

- Sometimes he might sound stern in his way of speaking but he is still righteous and not the type to abuse his power

- Really strong intuition but should learn to trust it more often

- Foresighted which is a good thing, but he probably tends to prevent a lot of things from happening, even good ones, just because he is afraid of the outcome

- Willing to sacrifice a lot of things for others, even when it is not always necessary

- He can take on loads of work and responsibilities

- He is a man of his word, definitely reliable

- Sangyeon is the personification of quiet strength to me, and the Queen of Wands illustrates it perfectly

- He is quite self-assured but won’t boast about it, he would rather work on his stuff quietly and eventually reap the rewards than brag about everything he has achieved so far.

⊱ Sᴀɴɢʏᴇᴏɴ's ғᴀᴜʟᴛs ⊰

• Student (Shadow attribute) | The Empress Rx | Fifth House ~ Creativity •

- Seems like he has a creative block, at least at the moment

- Or it might be because he finds it hard to express every idea that crosses his mind in a tangible way

- Can tend to rest on his laurels, at least stays in his comfort zone

- Probably because, paradoxically, although self-assured, he lacks confidence in his abilities

- Which leads me to think that he secretly needs a lot of reassurance

- Sangyeon probably wishes he was more light-hearted and fun at times, it does not mean he is not funny, he is just naturally more serious and collected (which is not a bad thing)

- His overly self-sacrificing nature leads him to often dismiss his own needs

- He does not seem to have found his catharsis yet

- Coming back to the fact that he can bear a lot of responsibilities, he could probably go to extreme lengths such as taking the blame for something he didn’t do, which often causes more harm than good

- He puts on a mask and barely shows his vulnerable side

- He might have certain limiting beliefs concerning masculinity (i.e.: you shouldn’t cry as a man, you shouldn’t show your “weak” side…) but he puts these limitations only on himself because he would not judge another man crying.

⊱ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ϙᴜᴀʟɪᴛɪᴇs ᴅᴏᴇs ʜᴇ ᴀᴅᴍɪʀᴇ? ⊰

• Victim (Shadow attribute) | 2 of Wands | Chiron ~ Healing | Black Moon Lilith ~ Mistery •

Sangyeon admires resourceful people, who can travel, have fun, and do things alone without feeling responsible for others’ well-being. By this, I mean that in Sangyeon’s case, he would probably be worried about getting someone into trouble if he put himself first for once. Yet, he also appreciates people who, likewise, are helpful and take care of others. He is all about people who have healthy coping mechanisms and can prioritize themselves when needed. Additionally, a person who seems to have a tough shell and is more reserved at first, but turns out to be sweet and embraces their emotions is a major green flag to him (doesn’t have to be for a partner, this is just the type of people he would look up to). Bonus point if the person is capable of putting things into perspective and won’t continuously mop around —basically people that can bounce back from hardships—. Overall, someone independent, self-aware, and resilient will catch his attention and inspire him.

I'm back with a new format for my personality readings! I would truly appreciate it if you could leave me feedback, I feel more comfortable with this format, but your opinion matters too! In the meantime, take care and stay hydrated haha 😇

[catgirl-catboy]

My problematic headcanons? Well in that fandom I really don't know what hc count as problematic or not

But I hc Chihiro as both trans and bigender spectrum so I enjoy the discourse surrounding around it because idk it sounds fun.

And yeah, they forget that game is from Japan and their gender norms and identity revolving around gender is different than we have.

Quite nsfwish but I hc Taka as a top leaning switch yeah this is not even a problematic hc but when I see people tear eachother down for simple hc, I like to include that too

And I believe Gonta would identify as X gender if they have the knowleadge about it (x gender is ig an umbrella for genderqueer identities in Japan)

And I like the hc Gundam have skin picking disorder and his bandages comes from it, well i believe he would do that because of the way he can't healthily manage his emotions when he was a bit isolated one. Or maybe a harmful stimming behaviour, idk really know

(idk what pronouns you prefer for Chi, so I just used my own HC of she/her for this.)

Honestly, Chihiro has such a complex about others looking down on her for being weak, you could argue that any gender makes sense with canon because she simply hasn't thought about it enough.

Also, in the context of a killing game, physical strength means nothing if you have the sense to carry around a weapon. Even if you weigh a hundred pounds soaking wet, nobody will fuck with you if they know you've got a knife. Also, they won't attack anyone they percive as crazy, like Syo or Nagito.

My take about the chapter is that none of the tropes involved were transphobic (the existence of GNC characters isn't transphobic), but comments made by the characters were really squicky and not to my tastes. Since I can't play the game in original Japanese, I'm hoping Sakura's "this girl is actually a boy!" is a mistranslation. I also feel like the fact Kyoko does the same thing to Hifumi that she does with Chihiro makes it less bad.

In a perfect world, I'd also like "maybe we should still treat Chihiro how they were currently presenting, since we don't know if they wanted to live life as male after the secrets were released and might be training as self-defense" but since lives were on the line it makes sense they weren't thinking.

(context: I'm ace and will read smut, but won't read PWP works. It needs to be attached to dead dove or a longfic for me to get invested. Also porn with feelings best tag)

I headcanon all of my faves as tops simply to avoid the weird characterization that comes with them being bottoms. Its like if people took what kind of bunk bed you preferred and based your entire perceived personality based off it and as someone who has a normal bed, I just don't get it.

Yeah, Gonta in canon is so performative about masculinity, in a way that I don't think came solely from them being in the woods. I feel like in their mind, Gonta conflates fitting gender roles with approval from their family, which can't be healthy long term. Also, in Gonta's mind gentleman is "someone that can help others perfectly, even if they don't want to be helped" and if that isn't met they're failing. Even if his version of Masculinity isn't obviously toxic, its still Toxic for Gonta specifically.

Yeah, Gundam probably has a host of unhealthy coping mechanisms. It makes sense for his character, since its revealed he'll hide in the nurse's office to avoid having to be in loud physical situations. I like to belive that Sonia and/or Mikan help him move past them.

[amerasdreams]

idk where this thing about men being the only protective ones comes from. Maybe I’m in the minority. But I have a strong protective streak. (whether I can actually protect is another matter) Maybe it comes from being the oldest child. In any case, I have a strong sense of justice. Perhaps it comes from that. I want to help. I want to make the world better. (this is where a lot of internal conflict comes from-- I want to do so much but I’m so limited so far....:() I want to protect not just women and children, but men also. Help the ones in trouble. Yes, just being a man doesn’t mean you can handle everything thrown at you-- you don’t have infinite strength. (lots of women can help... in different ways... perhaps I can’t do the most, but perhaps I can do something... from my own abilities and talents....). I see an imbalance, I want to fix it. That’s why I hate the fact women are more often victims. I want to lower that statistic. I’ve seen what happens-- women getting abused and staying in that relationship despite the danger because they think that’s the only one that’ll love them, they think that they can fix him, they have a relationship that’s dysfunctional but still a strong bond, “good times” despite the bad. I wish more women could break free of that. And I wish that women didn’t have to fear for their safety each time they go out on their own. I want to be able to feel safe and not worry about bad men--it can be women, but it’s usually men. They use their strength as entitlement to be bullies. (of course there’s good men, I’m talking about the bad ones. too many. more should be responsible with what they have) I hate most of all the fact so many children fall victim to evil people. Children--the most vulnerable. I have to find a way to help them. Another imbalance is that some think, a lot of culture assumes, because men are physically stronger they don’t need help. emotionally they can need help! It’s healthy to express emotions (in a healthy way) if you’re a human--man or woman. doesn’t make you less manly. this is a fatal flaw in our society (there are many-- I see these all the time. cursed with the ability to see but not to do something...well u can’t change whole culture...). There’s also a thing where....’men can’t be raped’. if they were ‘strong’ enough. that’s a horrible assumption. and it harms them deeply. they shouldn’t have to carry that burden alone, suppress it or people will make fun of them. they’re people. -- this goes for in general, but I was looking at what happens in Ukraine... to women, children and men. rape is a horrible burden but made worse by not being able to share your trauma, suppressing it. Not having people that will support you-- through such a difficult time! this happens to most people who go through such trauma-- but it’s even more so with men, who have to keep up this illusion of masculine ideal (no ideal exists-- no one can live up to them, no one is an exact stereotype). I want to rescue the ones in prison and I want to help the ones who are survivors-- let them know they’re not alone, that it’s NOT their fault. It’s the fault of the evil people who did those things to you. they had you in their power-- how could you reasonably fight back? anyone can be overpowered. especially in a situation of extreme imbalance. don’t blame yourself. (It bothers me so much that people don’t get the help they need. because many make it worse instead of supporting victims! no matter what their gender or age. I’m always on the side of the most vulnerable, the ones who need support the most, the ones who need the help they’re not getting yet. Protection, prevention-- and understanding after)

[project-sour-grapes]

That was fun

I got a markedly different response from people on the jiu jitsu mat a few classes ago. I have been actively working on my muscle mass at the gym, and I raised my testosterone by 10mg (+20% of my usual dose) about 3 shots ago. I rolled with this other blue belt lady that I usually roll with (who is admittedly a total killer), but this time it took way less effort to control the round and to submit her. Usually, I'll pull guard and then fuck up, and she'll smoosh me in side control for 5 minutes. This time, I just kinda muscled her around. I kind of felt bad during, because I usually roll light with women, and honestly, an aggro woman can bring just enough strength to kick my ass, despite the 40mg/week dose I have been on for years.

At the end of the round though, right after I submitted her, she said, "That was fun!" She kept repeating how fun that was and, "You did great. Wow." There was no fear or frustration like I expected. She gave her best, but I was stronger. And ironically, I think that makes women feel safer? Like, what is better: being a woman who is part of a group of men who learn how to fight but you can kick all of their asses, OR, being a woman part of a group of fighters who are sturdy as fuck and who you know you can not only test without hurting them, but they are also strong enough to protect you both in that moment and if anybody else tries to fuck with you? I don't know if that sentence is brief enough to make sense, and I know I'm extrapolating many ideas from a single event, but I'm starting to pick up on patterns that women do really appreciate strong men, both in terms of emotion and physicality. Imagine being a woman on the mat and thinking of which guy is more fun to roll with: the little guy who you can sit on and keep submitting, or the big guy who is an actual challenge? I'm sure a roll with a big, strong guy (who has good technique and is careful) is way more fun than rolling with the tiny spaz.

It definitely feels good to be strong and useful in this way for other people. It's not even a toxic masculinity thing. In fact, it is the opposite. Whatever the term is for "useful masculinity" is, that is what this is. And it feels personally fulfilling. I know I'm in my 11th year or so of my transition, but opting into the role of masculinity as most people in society understand it actually makes me feel useful, and it makes me feel good. I mean, by golly, if I'm going to eschew the role of female so completely that I stick a needle of testosterone in my ass weekly and get top surgery, then might as well go big or go home. This isn't a knock on the non-binary or gender fluid experience at all. This is moreso a rediscovery of the type of masculinity that I actually wanted to express as I was approaching adolescence and this is the life I actually imagined for myself as a kid, so it is natural and doesn't feel manufactured. I did chastise people with this same mindset growing up, especially as I was enduring female puberty and female life, but to some extent that was envy. There is a way to embody masculinity in a way that is healthy for myself and others and in a way that society needs.

[uramitashi]

1. Peaked some months ago. Because of my upbringing, I have always been rad-leaning without knowing, but my political reality was totally different back then

2. The fact that the more I grew, the less people made sense: I grew up thinking that sex work is misogynistic, I met many people who didn't; I grew up rejecting hyperfemininity, then my peers started dolling themselves again; I thought sex positivity was the key for gender equality; then I made friends with men. I used to be a strong feminist all my life, until I realized that the problem is way, way deeper than we care to admit. Then I became a stronger feminist

3. I do not, stritcly speaking. Partly because I think the actual, liberal feminist gender theory is too much complex to be explored with strict categories. Mostly, though, because I am a radical feminist first and foremost. Trans issues are the last thing I care about, if I care about them at all. I care about sex work, I care much more about what "cis" men do to women. Still I do recognize a lot of problems of today gender ideology

4. No

5. I'm heterosexual and I do not date men

6. Makeup by itself does not have to be misogynistic but is, as of now, a tool of control. Still I prefer to judge the driving force between the actual reality of makeup, which is men. I don't use it because it is right now an oppressive tool

7. I have never done it and I think that prostitution (will not call it sex work) is the bigest problem women face. I do not give a fuck if some women like it - it's something morally deplorable and that is enough of a reason to dismantle it. Prostitution is misogyny full stop.

8. I did engage in porn but I hated it. I hate that it is considered a healthy sex ed. I wish we had healthier sex ed in the future so that we can start criticizing porn even more

9. I am not a muslim and I am strongly critical of Islam - mostly because of its women oppression. I think all patriarchal religion are bad for women but Islam is BY FAR the worse. I try to listen to muslim/ex-muslim feminists (and women in general) on the matter because I do not like that Islam criticism gets weaponized in order to push racist ideologies.

10. I still try to look "cute" from time to time. I hate to do so

11. Gender is a social construct that has developed over time that should either not exist, or be a silly little game people do to have fun. This does not include "being trans" - this means that if there is a general feminine beauty standard, I should be free to experiment with it, reject it, criticize it, mix it up with the masculine beauty standard etcetera. Nothing of this would make me more or less of a woman.

I would prefer if it did not exist because although I don't think it originally started as a tool of oppression it is now and it should be harshly eredicated.

12. Yes

13. Europe

14. How to actively strip men of their power. How to *actively* smash the patriarchy. How to destroy prostitution and the porn industry. How to dismantle religion.

Although it can be rarely important, I wish I saw less about trans ideology. Should be low priority.

15. Not yet, I am very afraid of letting people know

Questions for radblr / terfblr —

1. How long have y’all been radical feminists?

2. What ‘radicalized’ you?

3. Do you consider yourself a terf?

4. Have you ever (or currently) identified as transgender?

5. What is your sexuality? If attracted to males, do you consider yourself a separatist or are you still open to being with males (or do you have a boyfriend/husband currently)?

6. What is your opinion on makeup? Do you still wear it?

7. What is your opinion on ‘sex work’? Have you ever done ‘sex work’?

8. What is your opinion on pornography? Did you ever watch it in the past?

9. What is your opinion on the hijab? Are you a muslim/ex muslim?

10. Do you still do some of the things you criticize? (Shaving, makeup, etc)

11. What is your opinion on Gender vs. Sex?

12. Are you anti-capitalist?

13. What country (or continent) are you from?

14. What is a topic you wished more radfems would talk about?

15. Does anyone in your life know you’re a radfem?

Feel free to skip a question if it makes you uncomfortable!

[dxsertrot]

My ex gf texted me pics of herself from her bday party and tried to call me at 1 am last night. Was asleep so didn't answer. I haven't responded because I don't know what she wants me to say. It's weird because I love her unconditionally, I always will, and I wish I could've taken that call to hear her voice. But I'm sure it was a drunken decision that is very much so regretted. I love hearing from her, as much of a mind fuck as it is. It's so strange, I wouldn't know what to say to her. I'm not at all the way I was when I left her. I'm something totally new, yet starkly similar. I'm becoming everything I ever wanted to be while simultaneously everything I never thought I would be, nor wanted to be. I still love her in a distant kind of way. In the you love the sight of land as your far from the shore, sailing into the ocean. You miss it, and you think of it tenderly, but you can't go back. Not when you've already gone so far. But can't isn't totally correct, just choose not to. But maybe someday you will go back, when you're older, when you've seen more. Or maybe you'll find another place that you love in a better kind of way, and decide to never leave that safe haven. My door is always open, but I can't assure ill be inside if she walks through. I love that she still thinks of me. I think of her often, although less and less these days. I used to dream of her every night, and now I don't. It's been a while since I have. It's like she can feel her slipping from my mind and has to toss in little reminders. I know it sounds insane but I think our souls, or whatever you think it is, will always be connected. A piece of me will always lie with her and she will always lie with me. I've fallen for somebody new, and pretty hard. Its sad because a part of me wishes she had reached out to me sooner, and another part of me is grateful I had to opportunity to falk for someone new before I could run back to her. Maybe it's fucked up, but if things don't work with this guy, I might go back to her. I just don't know how she'd take this new version of me, how'd she'd handle the information that I have fallen for a man for a little while. That I've embraced my feminine attributes as I have the masculine ones. Would she still love me? I hope so. I'd love her through it all, in fact I already did. It's hard for me to not think of her fondly and still care about what she thinks of me. I wonder who she is today, and if she's okay. I hope she is healthy. I hope she's surrounded by loving people. I hope she is safe. And in some kind of strange way, if it doesn't work out between this man and I that way that I would like, it won't be all that bad. Because I'll always have my soul mate after all, and if it's truly meant to be then it'll happen eventually, no matter how many twists and turns things take. Still, I hope it works between this man and I. I really do love him, although I know I'm forfeiting something rare and passionate to pursue this. It's happy, and comfortable and fun. And that's all I want life to be.

[haldenlith]

More evening personal life rambling. Really rambling.

The more time goes on, the more I kind of get the vibe that I fall into that "probably won't find a partner" category. I know having the desire for a romantic (and sexual) partner is somewhat silly, and detrimental, but I'm not going to deny that it's there. It is. And I sort of have my doubts as time marches on due to a lot of factors.

My track record isn't exactly great, for starters. I've never managed to even get to "first date" status. I generally get shut down pretty fast. I don't know if I'm just bad at conversing or what. That aside, my lack of interest in a family or marriage has been a dealbreaker for some (okay, actually, all) gents I've conversed with, and I've generally (as in just when talking in a group) gotten shit for being polyamorous.

Gotta love living in a heteronormative, monogamy-centric society. And no, that was not a fun experience, because it came with a healthy helping of slut-shaming and talking about how gross having multiple partners like that is.

Being nonbinary hasn't come up in the past, by virtue of not being out back then (technically still not -- but only because no one IRL has ever asked -- I don't advertise it), but I suspect it would be an issue.

Actually, I think a lot of the issue is the location I live in. Living in the deep south as a queer with no interest in family or marriage makes me very much the odd man out. And with equally queer tastes in men, hoo boy. It's like a vegetarian being stuck in a meat packing plant. The landscape around these parts is either sleazy fratboy, the blandest of corporate white men, or ultra-masculine lumberjack that drives a pickup truck that has the American flag attached to the top and probably unironically voted for Trump.

Well, there's also a fourth flavor: cop.

Yeah, all of those choices do not spark any interest or desire. And no, I don't think I'm asexual. I have felt that attraction before. I (sort of) know what I like. I'm just also aware that the beauty standards of the average man in today's society do not line up with what I find attractive. In fact, what most people consider an "attractive man", I do not. Stripping these men of their status, and going purely on looks (yes we are going full objectification ray on them), if I were sitting at a table with my friends, and Chris Hemsworth or Henry Cavill, or even Michael B Jordan, strolled by, my friends would be tripping over themselves to probably try and get their numbers.

I would glance to notice that a person is passing by. That's... about it.

Now, (again, ignoring career and status), say, Booboo Stewart walked by, I'd do the full tuuuuuuuurn and ponder my angle of attack.

I wish he had a different nickname he went under, but it is what it is ("Booboo" as a name has... unkind connotations down here in my neck of the woods). Also, no, I've not seen anything he's acted in. I literally saw him (I think on Pinterest) once, was like "oh who is this tall drink of water" and went diving. His artwork is cool. Uninterested in his movies.

I have a thing for clean-shaven boyish and/or androgynous "pretty" guys with long hair.

They're, um, not common round these here parts, and when I have encountered them, I've been shot down (see above "not monogamous" + no children issues).

Add to that soup the Kinky Koolaid Man busting through the wall (I'm into kink -- though I am extremely inexperienced), and I've just decided that the odds are not in my favor, and I'm not sure I'll ever have the spoons to fight those odds (and that's without mentioning other issues like ageism towards AFAB folk, ageism in dating in general, transphobia, and general misogyny).

*puts on sock puppet* "Just move to a more open area when you get the opportunity, forehead!"

I'm sure if that ever happens, my prospects in making friends and finding the romance and intimacy my grey matter craves will increase, but I'm not hedging my bets.

Notice I said "if", not when. I'm still trying to get my degree, but also things seem... turbulent... in the graphic design sector of jobs, and the average pay seems to have dropped in recent years, so, yeah. One thing at a time.

But yes, these thoughts brought to you by examining my recent daydreamings of imaginary situations (generally centered around kink positive, sex positive, open and supportive relationships), leading to me thinking realistically about how one would even get into the imaginary situations.

[lady-of-lyon]

So, I made one post a while back about how awesomely feminist the show Wild Kratts was, with how its two main female characters were women of color in engineering and deserving roles of power, female villains who weren’t motivated by spite or quest for youth, etc, but today I wanted to talk about something slightly different, that I’ve wanted to cover for a while now, because I also think it’s very good - and that’s how the show portrays masculinity, in a way that’s really positive!

First, we have our two main characters, Chris and Martin Kratt. Keep in mind these two are basically self-inserts - and there are plenty of creators, especially males, who have used self-insert characters in really scummy ways - all I have to say is Powerpuff Girls reboot and you know exactly what I’m talking about. Even if they weren’t literal self-inserts, male characters, superheroes especially, oftentimes serve the male power fantasy, being just the strong, stoic, all-powerful person so many boys are told they’re supposed to be. I could get into a whole discussion about how the male power fantasy is present even when males are not (ever look through a fashion magazine and wonder why there are so few men? Sure, part of it is that the industry thrives off exploiting women’s insecurities, and men aren’t as concerned for their appearance, but another part of it is so that the guy, looking through it, can feel like he has no competition for these women - there’s a reason so many comedians have jokes about fashion magazines being their sexual awakening as kids. It’s really scummy) but that’s not what this is about. So, the bros had every opportunity to do just that - make themselves these traditional heroes who aren’t actually really good role models, like batman or what have you. It’s certainly not uncommon for celebrity cartoons to do stuff like that. But Martin and Chris chose a different approach. They’re pretty strong standouts for positive masculinity. They’re openly affectionate - both with eachother as brothers, and with their friends. They cry, sometimes over little things - most of the time when big superheroes cry, it’s ‘cause they lost the girl they loved or their mentor or something like that, only in the big, most agonizing moments do they shed a tear. But here, Chris or Martin will cry just because they’ve had a bad day, or because they’re overwhelmed and overjoyed that someone named a mantis after them! In a lot of shows or movies when a guy cries over something little, it’s usually played for laughs, or to emasculate him, but here it’s casual without being unreasonable or overdone. The brothers cry just ad much, maybe even more (haven’t gone back and counted or anything) as the girls do. Not to mention, it’s a very nice depiction of a loving, healthy sibling relationship. As the youngest sibling myself, it’s refreshing to see a pair who don’t abuse eachother with noogies or cruel and snarky remarks. When they do fight, it’s never a screaming match, and also because they had a conflict of interest or disagreed over a fact, not because, say, one of them stole the other’s shirt or is neglecting the other’s feelings. Kids, being very impressionable, get exposed to a lot of abusive sibling relationships played as normal in media, and start thinking this is how siblings are and should act. For instance, my sister (who is now my best friend and has gotten over all these bad habits over time) when she was younger watched a lot of Kim Possible, a show that is great, but has a bad family dynamic with Kim and her little siblings. The “tweebs” as she calls them are always irresponsible, destructive, and making Kim annoyed to no end. My older brother was one of the most polite, reserved, kind little kids, but she still treated him like he was a brat and a nuisance, because that’s what shows like Kim Possible taught her little brothers were. Additionally, I was always treated like a spoiled crybaby who just wanted attention and got away with everything - I was not any of those things, ever, but that’s what shows teach you little sisters are. Sure, Wild Kratts has a smidge of that, with Chris seemingly being the stereotype of the know-it-all little sibling, but instead of being constantly looked town upon for being too “perfect” like with Hailey Long in American Dragon, Martin often praises his brother for his abilities. Sure, Martin gets annoyed when Chris tries to correct him on things, like in the episode Wolf Hawks, but everyone else does too, so it feels more like a take-down of mansplaining than a sibling spat.

I talked too in the feminist post about how refreshing it is that Chris and Martin more or less willingly put themselves under the authority of Koki and Aviva, two women of color. I don’t think it’s possible to say any one character is the “leader,” they all work as a evenly balanced team, but it’s safe to say that Koki and Aviva make the more responsible decisions. The bros try to get out of their calls a few times, but the show plays it more like they’re being irresponsible, and less like they’re renegade cool dudes who don’t take nothing from nobody, especially not two girls. They are pretty much always punished via karma for their reckless choices, most especially in To Touch a Hummingbird, where their arrogant attitudes blow up in their faces rather spectacularly. We also never see the narrative most present in sitcoms, where the male leads mess up and go out of their way to cover it up and ultimately gets away with it - after all, you have to root for them, right, because sure they messed up and had no consequences, but aren’t they just so lovable? No, here Martin and Chris always have to fix their wrongdoing, and it’s always deserved when they get comeuppance. Another aspect of the show I like is that, many times, when the bros get captured or are in peril, they are saved by the women - and most refreshing of all, there’s never a moment of “wink wink nudge nudge wow I can’t believe I had to be rescued by a GIRL” or even “wow you saved me you’re pretty good honey guess I shouldn’t have underestimated you, you go girl!” No, when the girls save them, it’s just - you know, relief? Because they were saved? It’s never a scenario played as an exception, or any more dire than when the bros need to rescue eachother. The bros are genuinely happy to have them as teammates. The show even did the standard “boys vs girls” episode in the form of When Fish Fly - but instead of being actually girls vs. boys, it’s engineers vs. adventurers. There’s nothing really gendered about it - the girls happen to be engineers, and the boys happen to be adventurers. And the episode doesn’t end with the boys being “wow gosh darn I shouldn’t have doubted you girls are better at everything,” it’s a mutual agreement that both parties have hard jobs. Basically, the bros are very naturally respectful of women. That plays more into their feminist narrative too, but either way, it’s refreshing.

Then, we have Jimmy! Jimmy, the lovable gamerboy pizza man. At first glance Jimmy seems like the stereotypical cowardly, pathetic, emasculated loser. He’s frightened of most things, as of yet has no power suit, and he BAKES for crying out loud! But none of these things are framed as terribly bad traits. Sure, we laugh when he screams and runs from an animal, but though it happens over and over, the crew doesn’t get sick of it. They don’t berate him or belittle him because he’s so gosh darn cowardly. There’s a great scene in Rattlesnake Crystal where Jimmy has to deliver something to the bros alone, in the middle of a spooky desert. He is terrified the whole time, sprinting off after he delivers the goods. When Martin and Chris run into him, they don’t laugh at him for being spooked, they just greet and then bid fair well to their friend. To them, this is just Jimmy, and there’s nothing wrong with it. Jimmy isn’t coddled, but he is reassured many times that he’s a valuable member of the team. I love that little message, that you’re just as important of a person even if you can’t do as much or have greater limits. When his friends do try to get him over his fears, it’s not because they have to, that the day will somehow be ruined by Jimmy’s incompetence p, but because they’re his friends, and want him to experience fun and wonderful things that he would otherwise miss out on. But what Jimmy CAN do is just as important! Jimmy is a gamer, which in a lot of shows, is portrayed as a lazy, useless, mindless hobby. But here, because he plays video games, it makes him essential for piloting the ship and teleporting important items. There’s always the joke that video games improves your hand/eye coordination, but recent studies have shown it has much better effects. It can make you much better at keeping track of multiple moving objects and processing technical but variable information- two traits which, fittingly enough, are really really important for air traffic controllers and airplane pilots! He also demonstrates a lot more courage behind the wheel of the Tortuga, which makes sense - in an impersonal setting, he would have more sense of calm and control and courage, because it’s so similar to a video game world. It’s not all too different with how I feel more emboldened to pick fights with people on the internet, but get crazy anxious if a real person so much as looks at me. So Jimmy’s love of video games isn’t because he’s irresponsible, it has real benefits. A quick last point - Jimmy also eats a lot, but they thankfully don’t make him fat or greedy or anything like that. He never takes food from people, he actually bakes, and shares it with others! Having the baker be a boy is a lovely touch.

I might do another post about the toxic masculinity of the two villains, (or four villains, I guess, if I wanna discuss the minions) but I’ve got other work to do, and this post is long enough already, so I’ll get around to it later. I’ll sum it up with this - Wild Kratts is a show that teaches boys it’s not only ok to be kind, but essential. The brothers protect defenseless animals, advocate for things “icky” and “weird,” like bugs or snakes or worms - not because they’re boys, and boys like icky things, but because they genuinely see the beauty in all life, and are encouraging us to slow down and do the same. The Wild Kratts are heroes who save the world not by being the strongest or smartest or coolest, but by looking after those who are exploited and vulnerable, who are essential to the world, even if they can’t always do everything. In Wild Kratts the only weaknesses a man can have isn’t what he can’t do, but what he does do that he shouldn’t have. Sure, it’s a cute show about two funny guys who have cool powers, but it’s also a show about accountability, compassion, respect and trust. The show says “boys will be boys” in all the right ways - Martin is a lovable goof with a heart of gold, but he still has to get his act together when he messes up, and he’s still creative and smart and openly sensitive. Chris is a bit of a know-it-all show-off, but he can also mess up as much as his brother, and is still bold, brave, adventurous, and can put his money where his mouth is. Jimmy is a cowardly, napping, eating machine video-gamer, but he’s still a valued member of the team, has incredible skills and talents, and will always help his friends, even if he is really, really scared. It is so important to have role models like these, in a world dominated by unhealthy machismo. The Wild Kratts are heroes who save the world - both animated, and real.

All they need now is a canon queer character, and I’ll stan them forever! My money’s on Aviva!!

[pink-n-spooky]

Teen girls aren’t allowed to enjoy anything

and here’s my long ass essay about it :)

In youth pop culture, as well as pop culture in general, it’s generally a given that music movies, books, clothing, and other things that gain popularity will eventually fall out of style. On face level, this isn’t always a bad thing, but rather more of a function of society: when something is new, many people are interested, and as time passes, that number dwindles. Backlash and criticism is also a normal function of society, which can be very beneficial when done in good faith and with constructive purpose.

However, it’s quite notable that an overwhelming amount of criticism falls on things that generally have a large fan-following of teenage girls. This can cause them to feel embarrassed by wat they’re interested, or feel that being made fun of is inevitable.

In reality, though, things gain traction for a reason, and things widely loved by teenage girls aren’t often given the same analysis and consideration other things in pop culture are given.

While there is certainly media that isn’t beneficial and could negatively affect young girls, the things they like often go ridiculed by society due to a lack of consideration and deep analysis, as well as the constant sexist want of society to bring down young girls.

Older people in general have been known to blow off things popular in youth culture, which can sometimes be attributed to just not knowing or caring about it. On the more intense side, some are infuriated by it—and not always without reason. But when it comes to things that are popularized by teen girls, a deep and proper analysis is often not given. Instead, they focus on the surface-level negatives.

The Hunger Games is a clear example of this. The series, which revolves around a teen girl forced into a game where she has to murder other kids, is widely condemned as being far too violent and a potential threat to the innocence of young girls.

On the first look, it’s clear that this widespread opinion doesn’t stem from nothing; the series is violent, and mainly young girls read it. However, if one goes even a bit beyond the surface level of the series instead of being initially outraged, it actually shows a complex society and story of revolution with themes of corrupt media and propaganda, separation of class by wealth, and way both sides of a political argument or war can be corrupt.

Take the 12 Districts in the series: the Capital is at the top with the most wealth and ability to abuse, and lowest number Districts are under the illusion that they’re the same. Author Suzanne Collins develops this complex idea in her story by showing that while people in the Districts have different levels of wealth and resources, in the end, they’re all still forced to put their children to death.

In the grand scheme of things, they’re all just as powerless against those at the top. It reflects the nuances of Capitalistic societies and class divisions in a thoughtful way. This can actually really benefit girls, especially since the protagonist is someone they can see themselves as.

A much more widespread example of the ridicule young girls endure for the things they like is fashion. Overall, fashion for girls has progressed in a way that over time has become more diverse and accepting. It’s not uncommon to see girls in long jeans and sweaters, but it it’s also not uncommon to see them in more revealing clothes like crop-tops.

The way girls dress is taken issue with by many adults and even school systems, shown by dress codes that often ban shirts—even if they only reveal a girl’s shoulders. These girls are often told they’re being too provocative or dressing for boys, which strips them of their individuality and is certainly not the case. Many girls dress this way because they want to.

Furthermore, the diverse and growing willingness to be experimental with what they wear shows something wildly different than the harmful predetermination: reclamation of their bodies. Throughout history, girls have been shamed this same way—often more intensely. So, by defying these criticisms, teen girls are showing they feel more free and more confident in what they look like and are perceived as, which is something everyone should want for them.

When things like this are torn down by others, it can affect the girls immense negative ways and cause them to lose confidence. When the benefits are ignored by society, this is often what happens. The positives of more experimental and unique media and styles that interest young girls are at best ignored and at worst ridiculed when not given proper analysis and understanding.

While some criticisms of youth girl pop culture can be attributed to ignorance and lack of poper analysis, it would be even more ignorant to ignore the root of these issues: sexism.

When comparing the things young boys take interest in with what girls of the same age do, one clearly causes more outrage than the other. This can be seen by the blind outrage thrown at things like youth romance novels.

When the young adult romance book Twilight came out, real criticisms of the story were often drowned out by people making fun of its fans, which was majorly young girls. They were ridiculed by people often much older for liking something perceived as stupid. This can discourage girls from allowing themselves to enjoy such things, which is harmful because books like these often give girls hope and bring just pure happiness to them, which is immensely important as they grow up.

Furthermore, young girls are often criticized for liking the same things boys do to a much further extent. Video games, which are often violent, are traditionally played by boys. While these games draw a lot of criticism for aspects of violence and shooting, it has nothing to do with the fact that the audience is boys.

Girls, however, are often personally disparaged from playing such games because they’re too “masculine” and just not made for them. This discourages young girls from finding out what they enjoy and forces them to limit what they take part in.

In the end, even with the hate they often undergo, young girls haven’t stopped boldly and unapologetically enjoying what they love, but it is through their perseverance that they’re able to do so.

Final note: If we’re being honest, we all have a bit of internalized sexism and judge without thinking about potential effects on others. Sexism won’t cease to exist easily, but if we only take the time to consider our motives—even subconscious ones—we can help stifle our biases and most importantly, create a healthy environment where girls can express themselves.

TL;DR

Society loves to put girls down and make fun of everything they like, which stems from sexism and lack of analysis. In reality, there’s often real, important purpose to the things they enjoy. I also definitely used The Hunger Games and Twilight as examples :)

p.s. i am also in love w katniss<3

[xamaxenta]

What are all your favorite op ships? And what ones are hard no?

Honestly I ship all of the WBP with Ace excluding Pops (And Teach but honestly man was never a WBP anyway the traitor!!!)

But yea MarcoAce is my number one for sure I just need to figure out how to draw Marco consistently and then we gucci - MarcoAce is 👌🏽 hits that spot for me, the older more mature one hesitating in falling in love but the younger one Ace chasing them pursuing them actively

Like the whole firecracker chasing the old bird? LOVE IT!!!!!

Big fan of LawLu and CobyLu both are veeeery cute anything with Luffy is automatically super cute

Also Corazon and Bellemere for happier modern Aus ❤️ they are cuties bc I love Nami Nojiko and Law and Lami being siblings

ThatchIzou theyre the longest relationship on the moby, married and everything and Ace goes to them for advice on Marco and how to ask him out awwua ThatchIzou is the sexy couple ok i love em

NamiVivi as well like Nami the cat burglar has a PRINCESS wife? The vibes are immaculate here such a powercouple

Ofc FrankyRobin/Frobin i love that funky cyborg man and his equally funky archaeologist wife, they’re that couple you envy for being so adorable and in sync

Deuce/Ace is a new one for me one I didnt expect because Deuce didn’t really appeal to me, Until I drew him and oh man I got it bad for Deuce now and I think they would be very SHY together like first love holding hands and BLUSHING BECAUSE ITS SO LEWD

SanjiZoro (yes) you read that right, I think zoro is a bottom bitch and sanji tops - purely for the fact I like changing the norms up with super popular pairings like them - Sanji gets to feel more idk in control? Like I personally feel Sanji would struggle with loving a man and all the toxic masculinity stuff he cornered himself into, bottom sanji isnt a bad thing and i like the fight he always goes through in letting zoro take control but YOU KNOW WHAT they switch I like healthy zosan sanzo whatever ignore what i was trying to say lol - Omega Zoro tho sets me on fire i love it so much

UsoppSanji - very cute ok I think they are like a basket of kittens - although ZoroSanjiUsopp is UH GREAT??? Usopp thinking he’s not good enough but these two bearing down on their sniper king like YEAH YOURE HOT AF BRO its very bromancy but they also hold hands together and kiss USOPP HAS TWO HANDS

But also Usopp and Kaya is just sweetness

Aaaand uh SengokuGarp (listen IF DRAGON EXISTS I KNOW GARP HAD A LADY BUT SENGOKUGARP IS FUN)

Some pleasure ships that I’m not embarrassed about and love very much haha:

Shanks/Ace, Rayleigh/Ace, Jinbe/Ace, Sabo/Ace or specifically Marco/Sabo/Ace

-

Not for Me ships

Smoker and Ace, i get it I Really do it so be like that but :/// idk I’ve never been very into Smoker, My gf is obssessed with him🤣 maybe im having lingering hard feelings bc he steals my girl everytime he shows up…. Im kidding Smoker just aint it not when MARCO EXISTS HELLo??? (I also think post time skip Smoker is ugly, his pre timeskip design is wayyyy better)

Sanji Ace - again i totally see the appeal, I also love the idea of all the strawhats having a crush on Ace but thats it just a crush - idk I can’t see Sanji doing one night stands or long distance relationships - he seems like the kind of guy who needs daily affection, love and affirmations and Ace can’t give that to him imo, i think theyre cute and compatible but because of Sanjis nature i dont see it working out, and I dont like long distance relationships due to originally trying so hard in one myself and basically getting neglected (im not saying im projecting but Sanji probably would feel the same, not that Ace is neglectful but it takes time to send letters and travel to see each other on the grandline) - SO TLDR; definitely cute but not for me

- Hard no ships - I dont really have any? Love is love and love what you love haha but I gotta say

Anything with Teach - is he even paired with anyone?

Doflamingo with either Cora or Law is frankly upsetting - he’s a horrible person and I can’t personally see how he’s attractive, he’s repulsive and seeing noncon stuff with him and Law or Crocodile etc is gross

[bigteefsmallbrain]

General Soul Eater HCs please

Soul Eater: General headcanons

Death the Kid:

He’s an art critic

Hear me out

He is obsessed with symmetry, and loves the beauty in it

So when he sees something non-symmetrical, especially in art, he can’t help but to critique it

May go as far as to send a personal letter to the artist (If they’re alive) about how offensive it is that they created something so asymmetrical

If he can’t send a letter to the artist, he’ll send one to the owner/museum and request it be taken down, while listing reasons why it’s horrible.

Anything he writes has an even amount of letters and words

Be that his test answers

Essays

Letters

Diary entry

Speaking of diary entries, he definitely has one

But it’s actually just a catalogue of symmetrical things he’s seen

He puts photos into it and writes about how beautiful it was to see

He doesn’t care what it is much, just that it was beautiful

Meaning he takes photos of people too

Which can be unnerving at times

He’s probably taken a photography class before, or at the very least is self taught

Literally has a photo album of things he views are beautiful, but non symmetrical and he would die if anyone found it

Like a particular sunset with uneven hills

Or a flower with one too many petals

Definitely has an 8 ball, not a magic one, just an 8 ball, it’s placed on a velvet pillow in his room and he frequently polishes it

Elizabeth Thompson:

Makes several backup plans as a way to cope

Especially after dealing with an experience with a ghost

She has notebooks full of them, labeled and detailed

At one point she started putting them in alphabetical order but stopped immediately when she realized Kid’s perfectionist habits were rubbing off on her

She practices acting in the mirror

Usually so she can charm a man into dating her

But also to con people

She used to be a “Street rat” and that thought of ending up on the streets again constantly plagues her mind

She takes full advantage of the “Rich life”

Shopping sprees

Quality makeup

Salons and spa days

The works

She lets Patty’s thought that she knows everything get to her head

The fact alone that her sister believes in her that much is enough to make her a bit egotistical

And Patty’s admiration for the girl makes it ten times worse

She literally doesn’t care if she ends up being wrong because she’ll just be right next time anyways

So stubborn in that aspect

Patricia Thompson:

She likes dark humor

You can’t convince me otherwise, you actually can’t, I have evidence

She made an origami Giraffe, and broke its neck

Laughed when Kid said he “wants to die”

She literally pokes him with a stick when he’s depressed

She likes dark humor, and probably looks up jokes to tell others just for kicks

She’s secretly sadistic, and likes scaring her sister and others

She may act naïve and innocent, but she is anything but

She definitely has, more than once, banged on Liz’s door at 3AM just to hear her sister squeal like a little girl

Honestly, she probably purposefully gets their pose wrong, just to see her sisters annoyance and laugh when Kid gets smacked

She likes origami

Probably first got into it because of the paper ninja stars

Then just found it relaxing

She most likely makes the ninja stars mostly, and keeps a box of her origami creations somewhere

Has in the past, and will not hesitate to do so again, beat someone up for kicks or just to destress

Patty has two faces, the childlike innocent one, and the insane anger one

So it’s not too far fetched to say that she’ll hide her anger till she can corner someone alone and beat them up

Or that she gets bored and decides to do so

I wouldn’t be too surprised if her sister occasionally joined as well

Maka Albarn:

She’s a Harry Potter nerd and you can’t convince me otherwise

She loves the concept of magic

Loves the dynamic between Ron and Hermione, though feels a bit of Deja vu thinking about it

Probably used to write fanfiction, but in a way that made it seem like it was actually part of the story

She will hit you if you mention it

Definitely the type to compare books to their movie counterparts

Not in like, a critic way, but she will definitely rant about the differences, or how a character looks exactly like she imagined, or if they didn’t put in a particular scene she liked in the book

Forces Soul into movie nights, but it’s only the movie counterparts to her books

I can see her forcing everyone into a group study session

Be super organized about it, and setting it up in a way so that no one can refuse

She probably has specific ways for everyone to study

Like having Black☆Star work out while studying so he retains the knowledge better

Or setting up the session in a symmetrical way so Kid doesn’t freak out about it

She writes letters to her mom, as a coping mechanism for when her emotions get to be a little too much

Like when she’s having a bad day

Or if she’s particularly peeved at something Soul did

She writes a lot more letters when it comes around the time of her mom's birthday or death anniversary

She likes the thought of an old timey romance, and often listens to songs that give off that kind of feel

She really likes “It’s Been a Long, Long Time”, it’s one of her favorites

She also likes the old Disney songs, like “Once Upon a Dream” and “So This Is Love”

She would be so embarrassed if anyone found out though, especially if it was her dad or Soul

She isn’t quite sure why she’s so worried about Soul finding out though

Speaking of, she half realizes, half doesn’t with anyone's romantic feelings, including her own

She’ll fantasize about getting a love letter or having someone present her with a bouquet of roses

But if it actually happens she’s like “Oh, thanks friend!”

She knows the behaviors, she just can’t put two and two together

They would have to be extremely blunt, no over dramatic confession, just “I’m in love with you and want to be romantically involved with you”

She reads dictionaries for fun

She really likes to read out of date dictionaries, just to see what words and slang existed back then

She also highlights words she likes and uses them frequently on accident

She has most definitely yelled “I have cupid’s kettlebells*! I’m not flat!” at Soul before

Soul Evans:

Bottles. Up. His. Emotions.

He’s influenced by “toxic masculinity” and fully believes that being vulnerable in a serious way “isn’t cool”

He will bottle everything up so deep down inside that it seems impossible for it to surface

Feelings of inferiority to others? Bottled

Want to cry or break down? Nope, gotta be cool

Started crying in front of someone and can’t stop? He’s not crying, you’re clearly blind

Speaking of crying, once he starts, and I mean genuinely starts, it’s so hard to get him to calm down, and even then the tears don’t stop

Sometimes he’ll start to freak out and send himself into a panic attack because the tears just won’t stop

He’s that influenced by the thought of being vulnerable

On a lighter note, he does adore playing the piano, but the only person he’ll play for is Maka

He swears it’s not favoritism, and it’s partially true, but favoritism does play a large role in it

He frequently drags Maka to his room to show her a new piece he put together

And if he notices her feeling a little down that day, he’ll start playing a song that he knows she likes

He definitely knows about her love for old timey romance songs and is very embarrassed to admit a lot of the pieces he constructs are based off of that

The walls are p a p e r t h i n , he can hear her music through the walls

He secretly finds it adorable when he catches her listening to it because she’ll be dancing around to it

He also frequently finds himself thinking about those moments

He’s the stereotype that parents tell little girls about, with how boys will bully their crush

He’s a lot more playful and easy going, but still teases Maka, so much

Unlike Maka, he’s fully aware of his feelings, and acknowledges them, but bottles it up, only letting himself entertain the thought every once in a while

He jabs at Maka’s lack of “Cupids Kettlebells” as a way to try and ensure she won’t fall for him, because he doesn’t know what he’ll do if she does

He reads the same dictionaries that Maka does, not for fun, but so he can know just what the actual h e l l she’s saying

More than once he’s had to look up a particular word or phrase online because he can’t find it in the dictionary

“What the hell? It’s an old Victorian saying!? Where does she keep finding this stuff!?”

Subconsciously, as time goes on, he starts using old phrases as well, he was so embarrassed the first time he got caught saying “Keep your idle daddles* off of her!” when defending someone from a perv.

Black☆Star:

Is so unbelievably selfish with food

It’s not even funny

He will stab someone if they reach for his food

He surprisingly eats healthy most of the time though?

Says something like “I have to otherwise I’ll never surpass the gods!”

The only person who could ever p o s s i b l y steal his food is Tsubaki, but even that’s pushing it

He has the weirdest dreams, and I mean weird

Dreams like being turned into a potato and being cooked, mashed, and devoured by Tsubaki herself

He didn’t talk to her for a week after that dream, and refused to eat potatoes for a full year because “You never know if it could be a person turned into a potato!”

He was also very offended when Tsubaki ate potatoes during that time period

He takes things very literally

Like up above, if someone does something in a dream, he acts like it was real

Or if someone makes a joke about fighting, he will drag them outside to fight

He’s secretly scared of Tsubaki

But it’s for literally the stupidest reason

And he fully believes that because of it she could fight god and win

She used to have a pet cockroach

One of the flying ones

And he is so unbelievably scared of them, because for some reason they just don’t die, and they have w i n g s

So the fact she owned one as a pet scares him so bad even though it was literally for only a week

He has a soft spot for children

He doesn’t really know why

He just does

Is secretly really good with kids

Literally the definition of dad material

He has his flaws but still

Little kids are the only people who could steal his food and get away with it

Every. Time. and it makes the others so mad

Tsubaki Nakatsukasa:

What can I say, she’s perfect

She probably receives love letters

Reads them over when she’s feeling sad

Likes to keep them in a shoebox she painted

She definitely paints to unwind and relax

Likes to go outside and paint the sunrise/sunset

Takes note of beautiful scenery so she can come back in her free time and paint it

She probably draws/sketches too

Carries a sketchbook with her

More than likely has drawn Black☆Star doing something

Like napping or training

She’d never show him though, too scared of inflating his ego or giving him the wrong idea

Stress bakes/cooks

We know she cooks

Liz took advantage of it and pretended Tsubaki’s cooking was her own

So we know she does

Sometimes painting/drawing doesn’t cut it

So she heads to the kitchen and bakes away her worries and unwinds

The main reason Tsubaki would possibly be spared from Black☆Star’s stabbing habit with food is because she cooks all the meals

She makes sure everyone is comfortable around her

She’ll go as far as to learn someone's customs and practice cooking their unique cuisine just to make sure that they feel comfortable and safe in her presence

She radiates mom friend energy

She’s perfect mom material, perfect wife material, perfect in general honestly

*Cupid's Kettlebells is a old term for a woman's bust

*Idle daddles is a old term for hands

I Hope you like these general headcanons for the main seven! You didn’t say which characters you’d like to see, so I played it safe by putting the main characters! Thank you for the ask!