was thinking about takeshi and how he's my favorite brand of unconditional devotion btw. the utter and absolute and all-consuming kind that runs so deep to the very core and is so intrinsic and fundamental to it, it can only express itself in the most casual and natural and certain way. without second thoughts, without any room for doubts or for any moral dilemma to be had over it, because of course he ought to always be breathing and living for his chosen person first and foremost. of course he ought to hang on their every word and make them true no matter what, no matter what he has to do to make it happen, no matter what he has to do to other people to make it happen, and no matter what it might turn him into in the process. because it's obviously the way the world should be for his chosen person. at their feet, ready to bend over backwards and break and build itself again to better answer to all their needs even if they don't ask it for it. it's the only right way it should be for them, and of course takeshi's going to do his utmost at all times to make it a reality as much as possible.
and his devotion comes out as naturally as breathing, comes out lighthearted and nonchalant like he might as well be talking about the weather, but it's not unaware of itself. it's not that takeshi doesn't know it's unhealthy and wrong and that he's willing to go entirely too far in its name for anyone's good. it's not that he wouldn't hear you out if you were to sit him down and explain to him just why he needs to tone it down a little (a lot). logically, he'd agree with you and know you're right. and then he'd tell you he's still not going to do anything whatsoever about it. that he's not bothered by it and doesn't feel the need to change anything to his attitude. makes it a point to never let anyone or anything sway him even an inch in the stand he took when it comes to that, no matter how many thousand of times you might go over the subject with him.
because the morality of his devotion isn't the point at all. is entirely irrelevant to it and doesn't affect the way he expresses it all. it's not the metric with which he draws a line in the sand to hold it accountable to. because the thing is, takeshi's entire world revolves around tsuna--tsuna is his entire world altogether, and it's just a matter of fact, that simple. to him it's a truth as unchanging as the sky being blue, and so being the way he is according to that truth is the only way he can imagine being that'd feel right to him. and so the actual and only metric that matters here is "would tsuna be happier if i were to do this?" and/or "is this something tsuna needs me to do?"
and like. i don't think takeshi ever stops being a kind person capable of compassion and understanding and mercy and forgiveness even ten years later once they became mafia through and through. and i don't think either he grows up to be feared and called a monster per se despite the things they inevitably had to do during those ten years (and the things they'll inevitably keep having to do as long as they keep being mafia), at least not in the way, for example, they'll never stop fearing and calling mukuro one. but i do think that among the tenth gen, he ends up being the one with the most ruthless, merciless and horrific blood on his hands of that particular and distinct loving kind. you know the one i mean, right? he comes to be the one most expected and the one first expected to be willing and to take it upon himself to go through with it when the need arises. and to think little of it after, if anything at all. all in the name of making tsuna's reign as easy on him as possible.
and it's to the point where it's the kind of blood that makes even mukuro pause at times. or, when takeshi is the one coming up with solutions himself during meetings, makes even reborn blink. not because it's unjustified or wouldn't be safe or efficient or anything of the sort, but because it is unwarrantedly thorough in its retaliation. and sometimes, at times like this, he's the one tsuna needs to step in for the most, because he's the only one who can reason with him that "yes, this would work in getting rid of our problem" but "no, please, don't do that takeshi". because if tsuna is the only thing that infers on just how much and in what ways he'll let himself be devoted to him, then of course, he's also the only one takeshi's willing to reign himself in for without second thoughts. because he'd hate to ever do something tsuna would disapprove of or wouldn't want him to do. or do something that'd make tsuna see him differently or love him back less even in the slightest.
and it's also like. his devotion isn't an undisciplined one. it's not one he doesn't have control over, the very opposite. it's a very purposeful and conscious choice he chooses to keep making over and over again every step of the way, and he taught himself to have control over it, to know when it's needed and/or wanted, and how much and in which ways it is when it happens, and to keep it down otherwise. and, yes, to also reign it back in at tsuna's request at times when it still slips past his control. because it's all about making tsuna's happiness easier and secure and long-lasting, and never about burdening him with just how committed he is to do that.
so it comes down to this: takeshi willing to go above and beyond and more for tsuna unless tsuna explicitly asks him not to. and to tsuna needing to ask him not to every now and then. and to other people pointing out to him how too many times tsuna's already needed to stop him, and that maybe there's a hint for him to take there. and to takeshi seeing the hint, looking it straight in the eye and recognizing it for what it is and just. deciding it doesn't apply to him because it's all perfectly normal behavior to him. because it's the only kind of behavior that makes sense to him and feels right.
and so—to circle back to my first point—he can only express his devotion as naturally as breathing, so casually, almost like it's something inconsequential and not worth talking about despite how unmistakably it couldn't be further away from being the truth. it's the only way he could have always known how to express it, because, after all, who has ever taken time to ponder about the details and the hows of the way they breathe?
and i, for one, absolutely eat that shit up every time, thanks for coming to my ted talk <3
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I'm curious. I've seen your art and something that's come to my mind is what actually got you attached with the Subway brothers. Your narrative on their different AU forms is so unique which is what brought me to that question
Alright, rat history time.
So basically back in 2021-2022, I was working on an old OC storyline (about 3 years old by then) and I was in grade 9 so I was like “A new Pokémon game? Pfft, like I care” and just didn’t watch any of the stuff related to PLA when it dropped. I still got recommended Twitter posts about it on Instagram and I ended up seeing this one.
I tried looking up Ingo cause I was like "oh, funky design, looks like a captain or something" but I didn't end up finding anything so I didn't press further. Anyways in March break of 2022, I got bored and decided to put some game streams on in the background while I drew. I saw Alpharad's PLA video and decided to watch it for a bit when I saw Ingo.
I was like "Hey you're the guy from Twitter!" and since I knew his name now, I looked him up and found his Bulbapedia article. I found him much more interesting than the rest of the PLA cast since he had history outside PLA, and I ended up reading up whatever I could find on him. I also by extension discovered Emmet this way, which only served to suck me deeper down the rabbit hole. By the end of March break I had a fan OC and 2 AUs made with more on the way, as well as a YouTube recommended page with nothing but theory videos on Ingo and decade old Submas content.
Around May I decided to decommission my OC storyline for personal reasons, and by this point Submas was starting to occupy more of my creative work anyways. Since I didn't have my storyline to put my energy into, I started funnelling literally any story ideas into Submas. This led to nonstop content for a shockingly long time, and ofc I'm still coming up with stuff now.
Long story short, I got attached to them by accident! It was a "right place, right time" sort of thing since they came in as I was starting to get sluggish with my original content and I ended up being more interested in writing for them.
As for narratives, I am effectively playing dolls with these guys. Usually the kind of stuff that I write for them is meant for OCs, but I dumped the 60+ person cast so I put that energy into them instead.
Most AUs will either have a core theme, an out of pocket idea, or both to make things interesting. Usually I just come up with a dumbass idea like "what if we brought ReBURST back for a rerun" or "what if Emmet signed a contract with an eldritch space spider" or "what if Submas could see into the future" and stuff like that, then it picks up themes as I keep writing. For some silly examples:
Burst is based on Pokémon ReBURST and the idea of human-Pokémon fusion, but there's focus on skill, how characters misperceive it, and resentment as a result. There's also a spotlight on inferiority complexes, bottled up guilt, and blind confidence depending on which main character you look at
Journal is about a diary that helps Ingo to regain his memories, and it focuses on remembrance and regret as a result of him reading it. Spotlight on lacking awareness vs hyper awareness and the monotony of living as people around you leave
Oracle is exactly what it sounds like, with the twins being able to see into the future. It focuses on cooperation and the importance of working together, but also learning how to work alone. The spotlight's on jealousy and gratitude for this one, though the latter greatly outweighs the former in this case
I also just have AUs I made to try deranged shit for funsies, like Sapioflora, Cybernetic/Z-Λ, Team Supernova, and Idol. Those are mostly for exploring goofy ideas that may or may not go anywhere.
Right anyways basically I just saw Submas after watching PLA gameplay and found the twins more interesting to write about than the project I'd exhausted by then. The narratives are like that because the AU ideas I make are actually OC concepts that I modify to fit Pokémon specifically for these two or ideas about the two that I'd like to explore. Hope that answers the question ^^*
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Gil watches Thena train with Olympia and is very impressed and happy to see the deeply bond between rider and horse. For the dressage au
Thena groaned as she hit the ground flat on her back. It happened to the best of anyone--falls happened, it was part of the sport. But it had been a long time since she had fallen. She blinked up at the sky.
Olympia whinnied loudly, rearing up on her back legs and trotting around in a full circle to check on her rider.
"I'm okay, I'm okay," Thena attempted to assure the mare making an embarrassing amount of fuss over the very small incident. She sat herself up, patting Olympia's massive snout nosing her cheek. "Hey, it's fine, easy."
Olympia cantered on the spot, not convinced.
Thena sighed. Before Olympia started braying like a mule and drawing a crowd, she picked herself up, dusting off her backside first. "Hey, look at me."
Olympia finally calmed, letting Thena hold her nose and somewhat cross her eyes to try and see her. She nudged Thena again, letting her lips and tongue assess her well being in their own way.
Thena laughed, leaning away from Olympia's affection. "I suppose you're fine, then. It is a rather high jump."
They both cast a glance over at the hurdle that had resulted in the fall for both of them. Olympia looked back at her, her tail twitching in response to the implication that she couldn't handle it.
She smiled; her mare was stubborn, and proud. Olympia didn't stop when she was training for something. She was of the same mind, of course, but neither of them were as young as they once were. She ran her hand over Olympia's side, looking for signs of pain. "You're sure?"
Olympia bobbed her head, already shifting in her position to try and get Thena up in the saddle again.
"Yes, yes, you impatient thing," Thena shook her head as she got her foot up first and then launched herself up again. The insides of her thighs were aching. "Last run today, girl."
Olympia immediately trotted back over to her starting position.
Thena eyed the hurdle. Olympia wasn't going to let up, and in all honesty, she wanted to prove to themselves that they could do it, too. She patted the side of Olympia's neck. "Ready."
Olympia took off in a run. She was hungry for it, and nothing would stop her.
Thena breathed evenly, leaning forward and gripping the reins. "That's my girl."
Olympia took the jump head on, launching herself up and over the bar. Her back legs soared over this time, her hooves nowhere near clipping it again. She startled a little upon landing, but she proudly continued on, shaking her head with glee.
"That's my girl!" Thena cheered for her, hugging Olympia's neck from atop her back as they circled the ring. She buried her nose in the soft white hair of her mane, inhaling, horse-smell and all.
Olympia strutted, oozing pride. She whinnied, all but laughing at anyone watching in a taunt for them to try what she had just accomplished.
"Okay, you," Thena laughed, running her hands over Olympia's fur. She gave her sides a squeeze with her thighs, "let's get you home."
Olympia happily slowed to a stop back at the mount, settling in soon enough.
Thena dismounted, sighing as soon as she was on her feet again. Her legs were aching and she was definitely going to have to do some stretching. She ran her hands down Olympia's mane again. "You did great. You know that."
She did; the horse shook her head, her ears flicking. She knew very well.
Thena bent her head to Olympia's, closing her eyes the way she had done all Olympia's life since she was a foal. "That's my girl."
If Olympia could speak, she would surely be returning the sentiment, bending her neck in the semblance of embracing Thena in return.
"Come on," she said gently, stepping down and preparing to lead Olympia back to the stables. She startled, turning and seeing Gil walking over to them, clapping. She blushed.
"I wasn't sure you were gonna make that last jump, but wow!" he beamed at them as he put his hands on his hips. "You were right, she could do it."
Olympia neighed at him loudly. Of course she could!
"I know, girl, I know, I shouldn't have doubted you," he appeased his favourite mare's ego. He looked back at Thena, holding out his hand like a gentleman to a princess.
She laughed at it, but her fatigue convinced her of it and she accepted his hand down the steps. Her other hand held Olympia's reins. "How long have you been-"
"Since your fall," he confessed with a wince. She pursed her lips but he rushed to explain. "I was worried! I was going to go out and help but, well, you and Olympia seemed to have it under control."
She had to smile at that. It was gallant of him to run out to help her, of course, and she would expect nothing less from the sweet Gilgamesh. But he was right, she had it in hand, and Olympia likely would have denied him, anyway.
Unruly and impetuous and at times immature, she could be, but Olympia was nothing if not protective of Thena ever since growing bigger than her.
"Are you okay?" he asked anyway, frowning and eyeing her dragging her feet.
"I'll be fine after a hot bath, or a cold one," she sighed, and he nodded his understanding. Horses were hard work in any form of their care. She tilted her head at him. "It's a little late for you to be here, isn't it?"
"Well," he shrugged, but she kept staring. He offered a sheepish - guilty - smile. "I heard you were still at it, so I didn't wanna close everything up until you were done--just in case!"
She sighed again. He really was far, far too sweet. "I appreciate that, Gil, but you have a long enough day already, do you not?"
He shrugged again.
She was ready to argue with him more, but Olympia tugged at her. They were at her stall already.
"Oh, s-sorry, girl," Thena blinked, letting go of the reins and reaching to remove the bridle from her girl's mouth. "You've earned quite a spa treatment."
Gil lingered at the entrance. "I can give you a hand, if you like. At least get you some buckets, the brushes and stuff?"
Thena looked at Olympia. Usually her 'spa treatments' after a tough day of training were their thing--a girls' night, in a way. But Olympia was nothing if not fond of the club caretaker. She was beginning to think Olympia had somewhat of a crush on dear Gil. "Well?"
Olympia bobbed her head happily, her tail whipping around behind her.
Thena looked over her shoulder at Gil in his overalls. His t-shirt under them was liable to get positively soaked from Olympia's 'shower'. "Are you certain you want to take part in this?"
He laughed, though, leaning off the gate. "I'll get her manicure set!"
Referring to the care kit he would use to scrub and clean her hooves.
Thena looked back at Olympia, who she could swear was eyeing her a certain kind of way. She pursed her lips at her young mare, "I am beginning to think you prefer his company to mine."
Whatever Olympia had to say was lost in her way of laughing at her rider.
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Been thinking a lot about the brunch scene with Shauna, Jeff, and Jackie’s parents and what it can tell us about the characters. I may be misremembering, but I’m pretty sure Jackie’s dad stays pretty much silent the whole time. Jackie’s mom is clearly the decision-maker in the couple and it seems like he’s along for the ride. He grabs her hand to show solidarity in the offer to pay Callie’s tuition but is pretty irrelevant on his own.
I think that knowing this is Jackie’s main example of love growing up can contextualize a lot of her and Shauna’s dynamic. Jackie’s parents have shown her that love is one person submitting to another. It’s her dad going along with her mom’s decisions and blindly supporting everything she does. It’s her mom taking charge for both of them and not asking for his input. Jackie seems to act like her mom with Shauna and expect Shauna to act like her dad. Their relationship doesn’t even necessarily need to be interpreted as romantic, though I think it can be. Shauna is Jackie’s main person. She seems like the only person that Jackie has any real intimacy with throughout the show. So it makes sense that she’d try to mirror her parents’ relationship with her.
So when Shauna wants to make her own decisions or just disagrees with Jackie, Jackie interprets that as Shauna not loving her. If Shauna loved her, then she would agree no matter what. Of course, that’s not healthy and it makes Shauna feel stifled, but it’s all Jackie knows. And Jackie feels like any indication of Shauna’s independence means she loses her. So Jackie tries to cling harder to her, to control more, which only serves to push Shauna further away.
And Shauna, the nonconfrontational child of divorce, can’t talk to Jackie about how she feels. Jackie has demonstrated that if Shauna is her own person, Jackie will leave. Shauna disagreed with Jackie’s idea to stay by the plane, and Jackie’s immediate response was to ignore her all day. She even pretended to buddy up to Mari to make Shauna jealous. So Shauna feels like Jackie sees her as replaceable. If she tries to be independent at all, she loses Jackie. And as much as Shauna is resentful of the position Jackie has put her in, she still loves Jackie and doesn’t want to lose her.
I feel like the show does a good job of giving us enough context on each character to understand why they act the way they do. They make dumb decisions because they’re teenagers and can’t fully understand their own baggage. But at their heart, they’re both desperately trying to maintain their friendship. They lash out when they feel rejected. Jackie’s problem is with the interpretation of Shauna’s actions. She views any disagreement or deviation as rejection. Shauna’s issue is with communication. She thinks that openly admitting her frustrations would make Jackie leave her.
Plus, the Taylors have made it clear that Jackie can’t just be good. She has to be the best, which means better than Shauna. So Shauna has to be the passive, lesser side kick while Jackie has to remain in control at all times and keep being the best. The funny thing is, they tell Shauna and Jeff how much better than them Jackie would be doing if she was alive, but if Jackie was there, they would probably be telling her she should be doing better. There is no ceiling to being the best so Jackie could never be enough while she was alive.
I just think it’s very interesting that a pretty short scene with the Taylors can give us so much insight into Jackie as a character. We don’t see Shauna’s parents but their divorce is mentioned which makes it feel relevant. It makes sense that her parents splitting up would contribute to Shauna’s passivity and inability to communicate. Her parents admitted they were unhappy and her family was broken up. If Shauna just never admits she’s unhappy, nothing has to change.
I really love how layered and morally grey all these characters are. And it’s just so devastating because these were manageable issues that got mixed up with teen angst before being thrown into a life-or-death situation. None of it needed to happen but these girls didn’t know any other way to be.
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