#fullmetal alchemist brotherhood headcanons

[riza-hawks-eye]

The biggest thing that absolutely convinced me that Roy's womaniser front is completely fake is Arakawa telling us that he doesn't own a bed and sleeps on a couch.

It sounds to me like Roy is the kind of guy who gets dramatically less fuckable the more you get to know him.

Like, imagine going on a date with this guy who's suave and super successful and a war hero.

It's all going great until he takes you back to his place.

His place is a studio apartment. Even though dude owns several expensive suits and he has taken you to the most expensive restaurant in his expensive car.

He has newspaper cuttings all over his walls and his floors. Some of those cuttings are articles about his war crimes. His wardrobe is open, and you can see that the only clothing he owns are multiple versions of his military uniform and more suits.

He asks you if you want to take things to the couch.

He has no bedroom. Only a couch in the middle of his studio apartment.

You do not take things to the couch. You do not go on a second date.

[homey-comb]

I love the idea of Ed and Al going on their repective travels and sending each other (+ Winry) photos in the mail. Photos of landscapes, new friends they've made, small animals, new gadgets, spices, anything to share what they've seen while apart.

[dyingroses]

I think it would be hilarious if when Ed and Al joined team Mustang they just assumed Roy and Riza were married and like one day much to their confusion and sadness they find out they're not and the rest of Team Mustang has to be like we don't really get it either

Alphonse: Hey, what's Leiutenant Hawkeye's last name

Falman: What do you mean? It's Hawkeye. Riza Hawkeye.

Alphonse: What

Falman: H-A-W-K-E-Y-E, R-I-Z-A

Edward: Wait, I thought that was her nickname since she's the top sniper, "The Hawk's eye"

Fuery: Yeah, but her last name is also coincidently "Hawkeye."

Havoc: Honestly, that's probably where the name came from. The officials at the military academy aren't that creative.

Rebecca, with dramatic flare: Or maybe it was her destiny

Alphonse: So, is that why she kept her last name?

Havoc: What do you mean?

Edward: Why she didn't take the colonel bastard's last name?

Alphonse: Yeah, it could be confusing to have a Lieutenant Mustang and Colonel Mustang

Edward: Why do you think I call him Colonel Bastard, it's not just accurate but strategic

Rebecca: Oh . . . honey . . no

Edward: What?

Alphonse: What's wrong?

Edward: Why does everyone look sad all of a sudden?

Rebecca: *sniffles*

Havoc: *puts a comforting hand on Rebecca's shoulder*

Fuery: The Lieutenant and the colonel . . . well . . . They aren't actually married

Rebecca: *starts crying on Havoc's shoulder*

Alphonse: B-but they're together, aren't they?

Rebecca: *cries even louder*

Havoc: *rubs her back comfortingly*

Breda: No, they're not - I mean, well

Alphonse: Why aren't they together?!

Rebecca, sobbing: WWWWHHHYYYY?!

Hakuro: What the hell is going on in here?!

Rebecca: *furiously screams something inaudible at Hakuro*

Hakuro: *exits scaredly*

Later in Resembool they break the sad and shocking news to Winry who actually takes it a lot harder than they do because she ships them soooooo much

[saturnaous]

I finished fmab lastnight and cried so hard I gave myself a headache. so here's a sketch of me figuring out how to draw Alphonse teehee

[sassydefendorflower]

Nothing makes me as feral as the realization that one of Roy's worst moments was burning the tattoo off Riza's back (considering he didn't even manage to burn all of it off), while Riza probably considers that to be the kindest thing Roy has ever done for her.

Her screams of pain and despair and agony haunting Roy just as much as the screams of those he killed, while Riza remembers her own tears fondly because they meant she was finally free of the physical burden of carrying that secret.

Riza asking to be mutilated and Roy doing it TO HER being the biggest gift he could have given her - and yet he will never forgive himself for marring her skin.

He has only ever burned, killed innocents, and learned to torture. He cannot understand that him doing the same to Riza - to his Lieutenant - was a blessing. Mercy. A show of goodwill.

But I think Riza understands. And I think, just as she considered putting an end to him out on the battlefield in Ishval, she takes comfort in him feeling guilty for something she asked him to do. Because it is a sign that he can feel guilty for what he has done - and it is payback for the guilt she suffered after giving him the secret to flame alchemy and him then using it for the slaughter of hundreds.

She can only ever remember that pain fondly - and he can only ever swallow down his guilt.

And I think a small, dark part of Riza likes that.

[number1greedlingfan]

Headcanons that are meaningless to everyone but me (or extremely niche inside jokes formed by my friend group)

Hawkeye finds pleasantries, mostly "hello"s and "goodbye"s, pointless and kind of annoying. She'll sometimes engage in them in person but never over the phone. She often hangs up while the other person is mid "bye".

Havoc's "tried and true" opener on dates is that he prefers rainy weather because he, quote, "loves to curl up by the window with a good book and some tea". This is not only a bold-faced lie, but it hasn't helped him get past the first date so it's not any more effective than his other lines.

Fuery pulls more women than Havoc does (not that there was any competition lmao) but he is somehow unaware of this.

Mustang's singular hobby that he does purely for fun is building model ships. His only social interaction is with his coworkers because he does not have any other friends.

Ed thinks Winry is cooped up in her shop all day and all night but that's literally only when he shows up because he DOES IT UNANNOUNCED!! Winry has a thriving social life both in Resembool and Rush Valley. She knows every single person in Resembool and keeps tabs on the neighbors. She's invited to dinners and group outings all the time. People mourned when she moved to RV. Within a month of working at Garfiel's, she'd already met most of the people on the street and she remembers most of their names.

Because of her interests, it's often assumed that Winry is a "not like other girls" type but she is the exact opposite. If you say a single misogynistic thing about other girls' interests (like astrology or pop music) on a first date she is getting up and leaving.

Ling is hypermobile and can bend his hands like this️ ⬇️ as well as do things like back bends and pulling his shoulders out of their sockets. When he was younger he would go up to literally anyone (family members, visiting officials, perfect strangers) and ask if they wanted to see him pull his shoulder out and then not wait for an answer.

Ling's favorite fruit is mango. When he was seven he refused to eat anything but that and had so many that he threw up at a family function. (Mangos were ruined for him for two years.)

Lan Fan does not get sick often but when she does It's Bad and she's taken out for a week or more. When she was younger and delirious with fever, she started distressedly mumbling that she was turning into a cookie. Nothing would convince her otherwise (Fu tried everything). In the end, they had to get Ling to help and he calmed her down in seconds by saying "there are no crumbs so I think you're probably okay".

This is a small one: Lan Fan is on the ace spectrum.

When Mei cooks for other people she makes it as cute as humanly possible. Everything that can have a smiley face or heart on it will. Side note, Al and Mei are 100% a couple that cooks together.

Mei is a little bit fujopilled. You understand.

While he seems shady as hell, Greed's rap sheet is actually pathetically small. The worst crime he's ever committed is, of course, the single instance of kidnapping that we saw on screen.

Greed doesn't understand electricity. He thinks it's powered by electric eels ("eelectricity") and has numerous drawings in his diaries theorizing on the mechanics of these machines. Ex: A generator that has an eel tank with a water wheel inside of it. The drawing is accented with large arrows and question marks and "HOW DOES IT WORK"s. That being said! He's not stupid in all academics. Give this guy some numbers and put it in a financial context and he can calculate anything.

Greed likes the "finer things" but he also has bad taste and sometimes these clash horribly. Is the furniture in his home expensive? Yes. Does any of it match in any conceivable way? Fuck no. Also that nice walnut hutch that cost 1.5K is used solely to display his novelty bong collection.

Heinkel and Darius only became close and discovered the other was gay because of the Camping Trip. So,

[ahbogman]

reunited.

[sevendeadlyseas]

Ok hear me out but I can totally see Roy Mustang being a 30 year old virgin

Like we know that he spent at least some of his adolescence in the Hawkeye’s home learning alchemy and I doubt Berthold gave him much free time to cultivate any sort of relationships, except maybe with Riza, but even then she’s four years younger than him so I think their friendship would be limited back then.

Then he goes straight to the military academy where it’s mostly men (I don’t believe we saw any women in the OVA episode and if there were any we can assume there are seperate barracks. We’re also assuming he’s not attracted to men even though I also love and accept bisexual Roy headcanon) and frat laws are enforced so not many options there.

Then it’s straight to Ishval where he gets unbelievably traumatised and comes out so self loathing I doubt he ever even considers the possibility of dating.

Now I hear you say “but he grew up in a brothel!” to which I say EXACTLY! He saw how his aunt and sisters used men’s sexuality as a weakness to exploit and blackmail them, so Roy is very conscious NOT to do that, instead twisting it to make it seem like he’s one of those men when in actuality he’s working with the girls.

Idk how much I actually believe this theory, but it’s definitely plausible. There are also moments where he 10000% had the opportunity to lose his v card (preferably with Riza Hawkeye, who I can very easily make the same argument about) and maybe he took that opportunity, who knows.

He’s also such a nerd I doubt he cared much about dating before the war.

Anyway, regardless I fully believe he’ll never confirm or deny anything, simply to keep the mystery alive.

[sailforvalinor]

Another thing to add to the list of reasons Alphonse Elric is my favorite character in FMA is that he fights with swords, spears, giant flying dragons, etc because if he’s gonna get stuck as a soul bonded to a suit of armor then dangit, he’s gonna commit to the aesthetic

[felixmkillingsworth]

headcanon: al totally has a briefcase like the one that ed carries, but he just carries books and crossword puzzles in it and he sticks it inside his armor. when he gets his body back he has to repack his suitcase before he leaves for xing and he panics bc he has no clue what he needs, and he actually has to carry it this time.

[psuedostar]

Just thinking about how Ed's automail hurts whenever the weather changes. Not just day to day weather but in extremes, like gloomy rainy days. Or hot humid heat. Either way his ports hurt and body aches.

In the cold the metal starts to freeze and brings down his own body Temperature, along with the fact that metal contracts when cold. His ports would get to tight to walk or move comfortably. Since he's always cold, his immune system goes down and he gets sick more frequently. Frost bite being another big possibility.

In the heat he suffers just as much, his automail heating up and thus the ports heat up his skin making him more susceptible to hypothermia, even heatstrokes and heat rashes (hyperthermia when it gets cold) ,even burning him at times.

Both sides of the coin can also potentially damage his automail. The condensation from the humid heat and the water from frost and snow can lead to the possibility of it rusting his joints and making his automail weaker in combat. Making his reaction time slower due to the bolts and hinges not moving properly.

All these reasons gave me the idea that resembool is the perfect place for him and his automail. The weather doesn't really change, only during rare times of a rainstorm or an unusually hot summer but overall it's a place that's constant. Kinda how Winry is a constant for Ed, with everything else being so hectic and unsure ( the homunculus, the government, foreign royalty, even the possibility of them not being able to get their bodies back) winry and resembool are the things that Ed knows for sure are waiting for him.

It's also where he first was fitted with his new arm and leg. He did his recovery there and so his body has essentially healed and adjusted to the areas conditions. I mean anytime he and Al need to rest or take a break it's usually at resembool, sure it may be for matienence but they feel most at peace there.

[thelaughtercafe]

Cuddling Headcanons with Edward Elric

Tea Type: Boba

Potential Triggers: N/A

Pairing: Edward/F! Reader

Length: 180

Summary: N/A

Ed loves to be the big spoon.

I dunno if you’ve noticed this, but he’s a little protective.

Being the big spoon lets him feel like you’re not going to leave him, it’s a physical reassurance he adores.

Likes to bury his face into your neck as he sleeps, the heat and feeling of your skin against his is super reassuring.

Quietly talks of his adventures with Al in hushed whispers until you both doze off, or listens to you talk about your day.

Some days he just gets really quiet and takes in all he has that’s around him, and on those days you make sure you spend plenty of time cuddling him to ground him and remind him it’s all real and he’s safe now.

Likes to cuddle outside in a sunny spot with you on a blanket and fall asleep only to then teach you about the stars and constellations during the night.

The quickest way to calm him down from a nightmare is to hold him tightly and squeeze him until he comes back to himself.

[theslug7]

People stop losing teeth at around 12 years old.

Ed joined the military at 12.

I'm just gonna let that sit for a while.

[iennoganan-aha]

Last day of pride month omg

Here are SOME of my aroace headcannons for characters, each character varies on their spot in the spectrum but either way they’re all aroace to ME 🧡💛🤍🩵💙

[fma-character-takes]

Headcanon that Roy had to teach Ed how to do taxes at one point and it went about as well as being in elementary school and asking your dad for help on your math homework. Like:

*three hours in*

roy: what does that say.

ed: i don’t know

roy: do you know how to read.

ed, sounding unsure: *sobbing* …YES???

roy: DO YOU KNOW HOW TO READ, FULLMETAL. WHAT DOES IT SAY.

ed, sobbing: I DON’T. KNOW.

al, sitting quietly in the back playing with the cat he smuggled in: 👁️👄👁️

alternatively trisha taught him how to do taxes before she died because she wanted him to be prepared

[sassydefendorflower]

As much as I want Roy and Riza to spearhead the restoration of Ishval post-canon, I want Roy to be barred from going to Ishval to do the work himself even more.

Hear me out.

There is something incredibly selfish about Roy wanting to be the one to return the Holy Land to the Ishvalen people. It makes sense for him to strive for that goal - he feels personally responsible for the destruction of Ishval, he sees its restoration as part of his path towards becoming the Führer of Amestris, he considers it to be the rightful way to ease some of the guilt weighing him down.

It is also the easy way out.

Because if you think about it, Roy being the one to do all that, is not a narrative that centers the Ishvalen people. And I think they deserve to be the driving force behind their own salvation.

There is a reason General Armstrong doesn't try to take on the Ishvalen restoration at the end of the show - and it is not just that she has no personal investment in the matter. No, if anything, she entrusts it to Major Miles. She entrusts the future of the Ishvalen people with a man who shares their past.

(her blind trust into the military state be damned)

And who does Miles choose to help him rebuild what was once lost? Scar. He chooses the feared serial killer. The Savior of Amestris. The Scarred Monk. The One Who Killed A King. The Hand of God Striking Down a Monster.

He chooses someone who suffered through the Ishvalen genocide, who was raised not only in the culture, but was an active practitioner of the most common religion of the region.

These are the people who rebuild Ishval for the future.

I think Roy would only ever do it to escape the past.

And if we're being honest, I don't think anyone in Ishval would greet him with open arms. These people might hold a great ability to forgive within their hearts, but I think many of them would consider it an insult to let the man who burned down their cities back into Ishval to become their savior.

To become the public face of the restoration of their Holy Land.

And being denied the ability to spearhead this campaign, it would hit Roy hard. Because in a way, hard labor and the arid desert air, would have felt like a just punishment. Being hollered at by the survivors of the genocide he participated in would have felt good. Getting blisters and sunburns and swallow down his own spit... pain was always a sign of hard work. Of doing the right thing.

But forcing him to stay in Central? To pull the ropes behind the scenes? To be denied this public repentance? To be kept from the most straight-forward way of repaying his sins?

The restoration of Ishval was never the end-goal, and it is just one part of a long list of things both Roy and Riza want to fix before facing a trial, but I think Roy hoped he could pay for that in blood. Cut-up knees and burned hands, dry throats and countless hours spent digging up wells.

But facing up to what he's done isn't that easy - and the people of Ishval deserve to live a life free from Roy Mustang and his damned flames.