#fucking. Ugh. Im not even mad its just gross

[ifyoufindmegone]

do I seriously need to wave a flag around saying "dont have your meat out while looking at my blog"? Really. Really.

[todayisafridaynight]

FIRST EP OF TSUMA CLEARED... GODDDDDDDDDDDDD WHY IS KEISUKE SO CUTE HE'S GOT ME SQUEALING THROWING A FIT KICKING MY FEET CLAWING AT MY FACE TEARING MY HAIR OUT RIPPING MY SHIRT OFF [<- CUTENESS AGGRESSION] [NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING I DID ALL THAT] [ALSO REGULAR AGGRESSION. CAN YOU STOP SAYING INSANE SHIT IN PUBLIC]

The music is so lovely too... and the direction and set dressing and Overall Production... chef's kiss... ALSO THE LITTLE GIRL WHO PLAYS SHIRAISHI IS SO TALENTED WHAT THE HELL WAS ANY OF THAT... Tsutsumi is amazing though for real, he makes Keisuke seem so much older post-timeskip and it's wonderful to see his old self starting to show again EVEN IF HE IS. BEING A DUMBASS. Huge fan of Tsutsumi playing depressed motherfuckers... I LOVE Takae though... I understand why he was so obsessed with her I get it...

See this is why I can't be too hard on Akira I'm a grown man acting the same way about Tsutsumi😭😭😭I'M GLAD YOU LIKED FIRST EP... THIS IS A RELIEF... Yoshizawa is a nice young man don't worry about him <3

ALSO THRILLED TO HEAR YOU SEEMED TO ENJOY THE MOVIES TOOOOOO ACAB except the team and Ogata nobody does terror|sm like you king... I wish more Tsutsumis could escape prison and/or death But Fair Enough... Oh and this is what Ogata's letter says if you were curious, it's manga only:

Inoue, You weren't crazy at all, in my eyes. You'll make a fine SP. An SP is a police officer in the Metropolitan Police Department Public Security Bureau assigned as a full-time bodyguard to people who don't deserve protection. That job description assumes they are, without exception, willing to throw their life away in a crisis if it means acting as a shield for those people. That's what it means to guard another's life.

ALSO at one point Tsutsumi was at a panel for something else and a couple members of the audience were being unruly and trying to get on-stage to get to his female co-star, but he and another co-star held them off... I think he actually fell off the stage in doing so but he was fine and he joked that SP would start filming that day... I love himmmmmmm

NO THAT'S WHAT I MEAAAAAN HE'S SOOOOOO CUTE IT DROVE ME INSANE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)(;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)(;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)(;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) 'tsuma' was the first tsutsumi show i watched and the impact it left on my brain was monumental... i loooove keisuke so much i cant stress that... SO IM GLAD YOU WATCHED THE FIRST EP IM GLAD YOU GET TO SEE WHAT I MEAN !!!!!!!! CUTEST OLD MAN EVER I PROMISE !!!!!!!

nono maida is SO good considering her age, i was so impressed with her performance throughout the show... AND YEAH TAKAE IS AMAZING she really is an epic woman, no wonder keisuke and mai cant let her go (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ) unfortunately 👁️👁️;;

OH BUT YEAH THE SHOW'S SO CUTE SO FAR I JUST FINISHED THE SECOND EPISODE !!!! tachibana looking right RIDICULOUS but its cute (❁´◡`❁)

AND THANK YOU FOR SHARING THE LETTER MAN so real.... i love that..... chaotic good kind of behavior i fucks with him.... he's valid in my opinion for his methods.... nishijima was lame anyway...

poor tsutsumi at that panel tho im glad he protected his co-star and im glad he was able to make light of the situation- im mortified for him but id also be totally mortified if i was one of those rowdy people like please be civil hes a guy just like any other guy (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)

[schlattslonghairytoes]

omg wait i just sent in the baby it’s cold outside request and im now realizing that YOU PLANTEF THE SEED IN MY BRAIN WITH YOUR HCS WHEN I CATCH YOU!!

but if you don’t mind could you please go more into depth with that idea pls pls pls

the christmas spirit

you were sat on your sofa watching you boyfriends newest podcast episode, you were sorting through your own footage when you hear him talk about making a christmas album

now you knew he could sing, but an album worried you, he was no sinatra. so you decided to call him up and see what he was thinking

you clicked on his contact and began calling "jayjay😏" after 5 rings you really considered giving up, but you finally saw the word connecting

you again considered hanging up when he answered the phone looking like this.

"what." he groaned it a low pitched voice, you giggled before realizing what time it was by him

"jay why were you sleeping at five P.M" you squinted your eyes at him

"im tired." he deadpanned. you sighed before laughing again at his mad face, before you could speak he began to stretch and the angle where he dropped his phone gave you a full view of his beautiful body.

"do you know hot you are?" you ask admiring your boyfriend.

"ill hang up on you, slut." he never did like compliments.

"brat, anyways." you rolled your eyes "i just finished watching chuckle, you looked very cute, but what was this about a christmas album?"

his face lit up "i forgot to tell you! okay so remember my way, well i know you remember it but you get it, i wanted a new project to focus on so im going to make a christmas album!"

schlatt found it very hard to focus on one thing for a prolonged period of time, but he always loved singing so you believed this would be good for him.

"babe and how are you gonna do that?" you questioned, he began to pout as he walked to his bathroom and set down his phone on the counter

"what you dont beweve in me?" he asked in a weird baby voice, while alos having a mouth full of toothpaste

"gross. no of course i do, but i mean your gonna need a producer, a person to re-write the music so you can own it, a vocal coach, how much is this gonna cost you?" you voiced your concerns

"not as much as ill make from it" he laughed

"ugh i hate you" a sigh escaped you but he persisted

"and one more thing.. i want you to be in it."

-if there is one thing you knew about yourself, it was that you were not about to be one of those youtubers who started making shitty music

-so when i tell you it took a long time to get schlatt to convince you to be on the album, it took months

-but when you eventually came around schlatt was ecstatic

-and honestly you were kinda excited too, you would get to see your boyfriend after not seeing him for over a month

-and with this album drop, you both agreed it would basically be your own version of a hard launch

-you wanted to pick songs that would compliment both of your voices, but also make it pretty clear you were more then just friends

-you chose santa baby and baby its cold outside, but schlatt added another, your favorite song, something stupid by frank and nancy sinatra

-you were so excited to see him that the thought of having to sing that well didnt even cross your mind

-but you boarded your flight to LA without second thought, excited to see your favorite boy when you landed

schlatt fucking hates Los Angeles, its hot, the people suck ass, theres always traffic, and right now, the fact that your not with him is driving him insane.

your flight should be landing any minute, and hes sitting in an airport trying to hide and make sure no one recognizes him.

the reason that becoming increasingly difficult is because fucking jack manifold, tom simons, and harry tornado (average harry), waltz off the plane, into the airport, in los angeles.

where everyone is always looking for someone to recognize.

schlatt is hiding twenty feet away from them, but hes already gotten noticed four times, the man cant catch a break.

he just wants to see his girlfriend, not interact with his fuckass fans

that fact that your relationship was private didnt help, he would one hundred percent makeout with you in the middle of the airport, but now that you have planned your hardlaunch he has to contain himself.

harry and jack were taking a picture with a fan, and tom was pissing as usual when schlatt finally saw you

he launched himself up and flailed his arms around like a clown to you, when you saw him you bolted across the floor and threw your bags at harry, who fell over from the force.

like flat on his ass.

you ran and jumped your man “i missed you so much baby” you laughed

“there is a group of teenage girls to your left that have their phones out, i love you so fucking much but save it for the bnb.” he smiled down at you

you giggled and looked over at the six girls, who were activley ignoring harry and tom who were awkwardly standing by them

"holy fucking shit im your biggest fan, please please please can i get a picture with you ive been watching you since i was fucking ten." one girl yelled

"kezia shut the hell up your gonna scare her away." another slapped her

"alanna you dont understand." she wailed

"you look alot like our art teacher" another added

"renn arent you a patron of her podcast?" holy fuck there were so many of them

they all began yelling over eachother and fan girling over you, "do you guys want a picture, or we can make a tiktok or something, up to you guys." you said politely

"can i be in it?" harry asked quietly

"um, sorry, who are you?" tom and jack started hysterically laughing and slapping harry

you guys ended up making a funny tiktok in the middle of LAX and they told you they were all friends because of an art class they have together.

after you all said our goodbyes you all loaded into ted's truck that schlatt was borrowing to haul you all around

you got in the passenger seat as schlatt went over the plan for the week

"okay, we have an airbnb for all of us, but two of you have to share a room, theres three in total. so jack tom and harry two of you will have to be sharing a bed, no homo in my airbnb do ya' hear me?"

they all burst out laughing and agree to schlatts terms

"okay, today once all of you are back at the bnb, im gonna head to the studio to record my solo songs, tommora' im recording with tom and jack, harry you can tag along or whatever, wednesday me and you are together"

he rested his hand on your thigh as he looked at you, his eyes full of stars, looking at you as if you had hung them

"then Thursday, me ludwig, quackity and theo are gonna be down there, the rest of the week is scheduled incase we need to re-record anything or just have fun, everyone undertand?"

he squeezed your thigh as he drove, eyes locked on you

"eyes on the road buddy" you pushed his head foward and sat back in your seat admiring you boyfriend as your friends wrestled in the back.

"harry cut it out, tom stop touching his bum or whatever you britsh fucks call it. youre being gay man, what did i say about that." schlatt jokes, he told you privately that he was bisexual so you knew his jokes were simply just jokes

you watched him as he yelled at the monkeys in the back seat and all you could think is how good of a dad hes going to be, you've spoke about kids before, and your both on the same page which is a huge relief.

you thought about what features your kids would get from him, and god you hoped it was his nose, you loved his nose.

"can ya' stop thinking so hard i swear i can hear your thought." he laughed as he stopped at a red light, looking over to you again

"i just love you so much." you laughed

"ew mom and dad are gonna fuck!" tom gagged

"get a room you perverts" harry lent over the middle console and made smooching noises, schlatt grabbed his face and pushed him back into his seat.

"this is gonna be a long fucking week, im gonna kill myself i swear." schlatt scoffed

"take me with you then" you sighed and slouched into your seat.

day one. (six days remaining)

you woke up with schlatts arms wrapped around your waist, good start.

you both woke up early so you could get breakfast for you and your kids, as you walked up the streets of LA all you could think about is how you want to spend the rest of your life with this man.

"penny for your thoughts?" he laughed, but was one of his calm laughs that was so genuine and unforced

"just love you, love us y'know? i wanna have a big house, a cat, maybe a dog, some little you's running around, i just cant wait to move in with you next month"

"if you say anything like that again ill fuck you right here. dont test me, im gonna have to walk around witha' boner now you whore"

your laugh escaped you and you had to bend over and stop walking as you look up at your now tomoato colored boyfriend.

"c'mon keep it moving." he gunted, a small smiled appearing on his stone cold face.

you ate breakfast together then made your way back to the bnb to deliver food to your "kiddos", soon after they all left for the studio so you decided to start a little project of your own, a suprise one

since schlatt was going to hard launch your realationship through something he loved, you decided you'd do the same

a little video about the love of your life

day two (five days remaining)

you and schlatt repeated the same routine in the morning, you went and got breakfast, went back the bnb, got changed and finally left for the studio

on your walk there schlatt warned you about the homeless person right infront of the studio

"no im so serious, he actually tried to stab me two days ago, and when i finaly got away from him he started yelling how he could take me, and not in a fight. let me tell you, he was not my type."

you both walked into the studio to be met by a italian man named David, but it was pronounced daviday.

he directed you both to a booth were you were instructed to drink tea and blow bubbles into a cup

"babe im starting to get nervous, if i fuck up, or have a voice crack, and you laugh at me. so help me god im breaking up with you" you told him

"lemme tell you what happened yesterday" he sat down and began drinking his tea. "i let harry sing one line on jingle bells and his voice went up and octave and cracked. it was so funny holy shit, i have to get that recording."

you both contiuned talking about the recording process so far, until david told you he was ready to begin, starting with baby its cold outside and you were gonna do a full run through no matter the mistakes.

the music counted in and you started off the song "i really cant stay" you sang. then your boyfriend came in with "but baby, its cold outside" and your eyes widened at how good he sounded

you went through the full thing and after the last line you laughed until you heard davids voice, "both of you, that was shit, do it again."

schlatt didnt even seem fazed by this. holy fuck you were in for a long day.

once david was semi happy with that song you moved onto something stupid, and that one went by much faster.

but the song you were dreading most was next, mostly cause you had to carry the whole song

schlatt started off the ong with the iconic bu-bum, bu-bum' when your voice came in "santa, baby, just slip a sable under the tree for me, been an awful good girl."

as you sang your eyes looked up at him an winked before you focused on singing again.

schlatt continued through the song, but the moment you were done, he scurred off to the bathroom while you did certain lines and verses over and over

when he came back, his face was significantly redder, but you just laughed and moved on, too focused on perfecting your song

you had been recording for over 12 hours now, both of you exhausted.

when you were finally done it was two am.

you called an uber and headed back to the bnb

as you fell asleep on schlatts chest, all you could think about was how you couldnt wait to upload the album, and finally live with the love of your life.

[erwinsvow]

I know this isn’t the usual speed around here but slightly pathetic whimpery s1 Rafe is to die for!! He’s obviously cocky and entitled but it’s in a more spoiled and almost bratty way so he throws his little temper tantrums when he doesn’t get his way… I think s1 has seriously overlooked toxic Rafe potential

- 💓

wait i know im allllll about season 2 rafe like hes loml seriously but i just started rewatching season 1 and i dont like his hair lol but hes so toxic and gross. i know everyone on here has been talking more about him and like fratboy rafe and i usually refrain but something about being his gf through all of season 1..... im hornee.

in particular im thinking of like how he acts so douchey with everyone in public but its so visible he has a huge soft spot for you.. waves you over when he's just hanging out with his friends to check in that you're doing okay, goes and gets you a fresh drink before giving you a kiss and sending you off back to ur friends.. makes some gross comment about how you were screaming for him in the back of his truck last night after you walk away... kelce is like bro. i always sit in the back.

you'd be lurking in his bedroom when he goes down to 'have a chat' with his dad, like when he gets yelled at about the generators. comes back all angry and literally folds you in half and fucks you until you cry because you are his favorite way to calm down <3 ... (i have no idea what the vibes on this blog are and i dont wanna make people mad but he gets so manipulative... esp if you're just like i don't feeling like fucking again right now or esp in public!!!! which he looooves.... starts going on a tangent about how he provides for you and takes care of you and he's the man of the house and if he needs to relax you should be on your knees already.... sorry omg if ur reading this n youre starting to hate me i apologize in advance. i never talk about scummy scummy rafe but hes real and hes so hot. fully wants you to be like a hyperactive horny bunny just waiting for his dick at all times.... i would 110% start doing it too... ANYWAYS)

he's so spoiled so he likes spoiling you with anything you want... most of the stuff he gets you is pretty much for him tho... gets hard because you wear an RC necklace.. lots of pretty lingerie and babydolls that he likes to rip up...handcuffs because duh.. it's almost always you in the handcuffs but every once in a while he can be convinced to get in them lol

but the temper tantrums are soooo real like especially if you're out with friends or made plans with your parents. like he seriously loves making you abandon your plans to come see him. but then youll show up and hes at a party and selling or ignoring you and ofc you cry because it's like he made you come here and not even giving you any attention... then he'll drag you out by your hair and fuck you SOOO mean in the back of his truck talkin about "just needed this dick, yeah? s'okay, dad's gonna give it to ya hard. then you'll be good as gold won'tya?" ugh. hes so mean.

im still in my rewatch but the scene where him and topper beat up pope:( this especially hits sooo hard w my pogue reader but i can just imagine that being the cause of your first real fight, like you're so upset he can be that cruel but there goes his manipulation tactics.. telling you he needs to be a proactive man to protect you and his friends and his turf. he's not letting anyone walk all over him, regardless if you like them or not. fucks you until you forget all about your pogue friends, and then you end up bandaging his bloody hand for him.

ooohh and when they go to that movie showing.. can just imagine curling up on a lawnchair with him under a blanket, him n the boys are on high alert for jj and pope but he keeps a tight arm around you, goes and gets you a soda and popcorn which you two share.. you don't want him to leave and you whine when he does.. can just imagine the scene where jj and pope turn back to look at him when kie tells them rafe is right behind them. rafe is staring so hard at them while ur tryna feed him a piece of popcorn. LOL

[post-office-by-the-bay]

hihi my dear coveyyy

nice to know we share the same opinion on the ripeness of our bananas and velvet!

why dont u like brownies 😭 i mean sure too much is like woah chocolate overload but theyre nice every once in a while!!

ive never heard of the bear actually… ill have to check it out

my rabbit can be very sweet and cuddly when he wants to be but when hes mad.. he will literally pounce on ur finger like its prey (and rabbits arent even predators???)

im glad u found the time to reply to our letters! im sure theres like an overwhelming amount lmao

had a bagel today and thought of u btw 🥯

this is actually 🪼 (wow who wouldve known),

cora

p.s. i had no particular reason for being anon LMAO so. this is me!

dearest darling jellyfish anon cora!

i just think brownies are icky. they are so so overwhelming to me. like the texture has me gagging and then its too much chocolate and then it's got like a fucking crust and ugh- gross gross gross i feel like im eating one while describing it and want to die-

THE BEAR IS SO GOOD AND JEREMEY ALLEN WHITE IS MY CELEB CRUSH NOW LMAO!! it's on hulu and i've cried to every single episode!! they're making the next two season rn and i could dieeeeeeeee

see that's what i mean about rabbits. they are vicious sometimes.

actually, they're werent too many!! it's just the length that scares me sometimes, ya know??? like i don't wanna miss replying to a part so it just takes more time to reply!! but i do like doing it!!

also HI CORA HI HI HI IT'S SO NICE TO FINALLY MET YOU BBY!!

all my love, covey 𐙚⊹ ࣪ ˖

[yuukei-yikes]

Which is better? Hs harutaka or POST STR harutaka?

why is this written in a funny font. am i the only one seeing the font. i feel so intimidated. like damn bro ill answer put the gun down

anyways neither of them is better or worse i ❤️ both. One cannot exist without the other. both are good they're just a little different dynamics 🙏🙏🙏 like one is awkward cringe teenager crush and the other is married era. you know. how do u compare. like both are good?? its just in one theyre younger and in the other theyre older (= yet to be traumatized vs traumatized)

personally i do like seeing post str content a little more just because ITS THE HAPPY ENDING YKNOW..and its haruka&takane finding their way back to each other after everything and i i i i i *descent into madness* also i think there's generally a lot more fan content set in the hs days so i sigh longingly abt post str content everyday. but cringy hs harutaka has to exist to give place to cringy older harutaka you know!! they can be like oh my gooood our ocs. we were so cringe. anyways our wedding rings should say player 1 and player 2. that is so not cringe like we used to be :333 like theyre still very much cringe you know. but they think they arent. they're like we're GROWN now we aren't LIKE THAT anyway asterisks nuzzles&kisses asterisks... :3 xddddd!!! because they compare to how they used to be and the bar is low and also theyre so happy that theyre together that they kinda. cant see how fucking embarrassing they are. thats what live shintaro reaction is good for 🙏

like im sorry im all for blushing mess takane and stuff like yeahyeahyeah i get it but girl.... i hate when ppl make it like she totally reverts back to how she used to be. like u cannotttt miss the point so badly. takane never thought she'd see haruka again her ass IS NOT wasting her chance being that embarrassed now. that's a huge pet peeve i have with fan content like both in hs/str settings where takane can't behave like a normal person around haruka like that's SOOOO untrue. they're best friends she's totally normal to him even if she gets silly sometimes. like there are so many examples but my favorite is in the sixth novel when takane calls haruka on the phone and she's kinda like OMGGG IF U WERENT BUSY ID TOOOTALLY WOULD'VE TAKEN U SOMEWHERE YOU WOULD'VE LOOOOVED... and haruka's like UM HEHE next time ok!! and takanes like NOT GONNA HAPPENNNN❤️❤️❤️ stupid fucking cringe ass flirting sorry like. sorry. not only is she able to speak normally but she cringely flirts with him. and when ppl make it like she can't speak while around him or is just grumpy 1000% of the time it makes me sick. LIKE haruka describes her as easily excitable and like a gentle girl and i ugh *BITE BITE BITE BITE BITE BITE* SHE'S SO INSANELY MISUNDERSTOOD BC PEOPLE WANNA PUT HER IN THE TSUNDERE BOX SO BAD

also COME ON what i love abt her is that as soon as she figures out she likes him she makes a run for it and despite she's terrified she wants to tell him?? and none of her thoughts are abt OHH BUT WHAT IF HE DOESNT LIKE ME BACK like TAKANE NEVER EVER wonders if haruka likes her back once she figures it out. only ayano's lesbian ass says anything abt haruka reciprocating or not. she's not worried abt being rejected... or she dies before she could worry LMAOOOO but she's just terrified she cannot tell him how much he means to her. and then she really CANT tell him, and she has to live with that regret for what she thinks is gonna be forever, but then she DOES see him again. she IS able to tell him. sorry. she would be so insanely cringely embarrassingly happy that she doesnt give a fuck abt being all blushing COME ON. ofc she would get embarrassed but no more or less than haruka lol. and haruka is like WHAA??? MEEEE??? NO WAY....MEEEE??? OMG...HEHE... WAIT MEEEE??? FOR REALLLL??? HEHEH....WAIT LIKE MEEEE!?!?!?!?! the sillies *goes crazy* theyre so cringe and gross kissing together but good for them

and i KNOW how in their chapter together in the eighth novel takane's kinda grumpy but listen. i will defend her here. they LOST. novel route is not a good ending. and takane HATES LOSING‼️��️‼️ haruka literally comments it, like he says takane hates losing. like am i forever mad jin robbed us of seeing them actually reunite and we only get a short as hell little moment between them that compared to everyone else's moments feels slapped on last minute? yeah a little. is it still well written and a rly solid harutaka moment? yes🙏 like not only the bit abt haruka saying he loved takane's snippy attitude but also ene's high energy and etcetc but like. ausnfknxoenxkeix GOD i love at the end when takane smirks and then haruka thinks abt how easily influenced he's always been by her and also smirks and theyre just kinda smirking to each other like HEH HEH HEH.. YEAH NEXT TIME WE WILL WIN. fuckingidiots smiling like that ABOUT THE FACT THEIR REALITY IS ABOUT TO BE RESET AND ESSENTIALLY ARE ABOUT TO DIE ONLY TO MEET AGAIN NEXT TIME AND GO THROUGH EVERYTHING AGAIN. BUT THEIR ASSES ARE LIKE >:3!! LITERALLY SO SILLY. sorry. i love them. i excuse takane grumpiness for this reason like it was NOT an ideal happy ending so ofc she wasn't super into it 💔

AND ANYWAYS IM PROVEN RIGHT BY LOST DAY HOUR MANGA *KISSES AND TUCKS IT IN BED* LOST DAY HOUR MANGA💞💘💖💕💝💝💗 TAKANE'S SO CHEERFUL IN IT🥺🥺🥺 AND IVE ALWAYS KNOWN. IVE ALWAYS SAID IT. AND THEN THAT CAME OUT AND I WAS PROVEN RIGHT. NEVER FUCKING DOUBT ME

i need to explode. or whatever. My dumbass thinking this was gonna be a short reply

[theholidayslingerlikebadperfume]

"i still dont know how did it end" girl YOU CHEATED ON HIM!!! that's how!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

like you cheated on him?????????????

how are you still in the dark over it??????

i find the inability to be honest with herself infuriating to listen to on this record.

if there is one person i am ALWAYS honest with, it's myself. and it's just idk... i think what ttpd is missing out if anything is accountability.

there are so many songs that could have been seriously elevated if she was just capable of telling them taking accountability.

unexpectedly, i would actually use fresh out of the slammer and guilty as sin as songs that probably have the fandom they do because of the accountability she takes on those songs. my issue with those songs has always been how mad i get listening to emotional cheaters talk about their reasoning for cheating but overall, they are some of the best examples of taylor holding herself accountable for her behavior.

but even those songs, she can't help herself from pointing the fingers at third parties and laying the blame partially at their feet as well. the resentment she's let build up has clouded her judgment of the situation and she genuinely lobbies accusations as if they're justifications. "he dont understand me... but it's gunna be alright cause i did my time" and "if long suffering propriety is what they want from me" as if this gives her the right to behave the way she did over the course of THREE years?????

and i think that is what i desire the most from this record, just some fucking self awareness. i know why its not there like artistically but ugh

ugh god do i want it. imagine a song like loml and the smallest man who ever lived if she took accountability instead of acting like she was victimized by that bastard lol. or even i can fix him. the lost potential of that song title :( i still mourn it to this day.

anyways i think im learning that what i dislike the most about people is hypocrisy. if you can convince why you needed to do the bad thing, even if i dont agree with it, i have much more empathy for you than if i cannot understand why you took the actions you took.

if ur reason just amounts to "i wanted to so i did but saying i wanted to would make me look bad so here is a list of other people's behaviors to justify my own actions" i just have zero respect for that type of cowardice. just say you wanted to and go. say you didnt care about anyone but yourself and go. if your justification was "it made me feel good to do it so i did it" just say that. dont give me bullshit about how you're really just a good person and you have no clue why you would do something you know?

idk i just ughhhhhhhhhhh the emotional cheating is so gross

[insideoreoshack]

12.28.2024

this stupid house only knows me when they want me for something i swear how is it that my existence is an attack on my mom or sister when im just living and breathing. just sitting on the couch this morning and i have an “off putting face” i make breakfast and eat and then start feeling sick and then after my dad takes the rest of my food i quite literally throw up and take a nap wake up with diarrhea (gross) like i literally feel so out of it and so sick and no one in the house knows it mind you. i wash up and take a nap and then go upstairs to just check on them i go in the living room my moms immediately side eyeing me and instead of asking something then and there she waits until i go lay next to zuko and get comfy to call me again. and then when i do come out “my body language is aggressive and i don’t wanna be there” and all bc i say that her and carriema always do this bc they do she gets offended. yall mad at the fucking truth bc just bc im low energy doesn’t mean im not gonna help, all i fucking do in this house is help them with everything and then you get mad bc im tired and dont know anything of how im feeling. i literally have no one to talk to in this house and just feel so alone sometimes bc they dont even understand me or try to bc theyre stuck in their own little worlds with their own things to think about which is fine but dont try to project the narrative that im some bitter hag that doesnt want to help and im always so mean, like maybe if all the responsibility of helping was on me i wouldnt have a face or wrong body language but also the timing is so stupid why would you wait for me to vanish before asking me something? like youre dumb af for that one i was right in front of you for a few min and you had time to ask or call me over and then when i ask again after she makes me cry bc mom likes to get upset and have her way all of a sudden she doesnt need help anymore. they make me feel fucking crazy and just ugh i hate it here sometimes. they watch what i eat, what i do, the state of my room and my hair and complain when im upstairs too much or if im downstairs too much or out too much like what the fuck do you really want bro. i dont wanna hang out with people that are always wanting my help for something and to burden me with shit like sorry i dont think casual saturday morning convo is bills and financials when im not feeling good bc normally i really dont give a fuck its not like my mom has anyone else to talk to about that but getting mad at me bc i wasnt reactive this morning and saying ive been off-putting all day is crazy. so now ive been crying for the past 10min and have to muster the strength to tidy my room and sort my clothes before shit is said to me.

add: also the last post being exactly a month ago is insane timing this house is crazy and me ranting about it and being maybe over emotional idk is maybe period related not sure there. they depress me tho and mess with my ovulation when im supposed to be horny and happy and free they have me stressing constantly and crying and essentially hiding. it feels like age regression in this house constantly and sometimes i just dream of being out and how free itd feel. i cant even tell them good news about anything without them talking about carriema they just never care for my accomplishments or give me a moment they always make it seem like im running or something or that i need to do something to help carriema grow up

[professionaljester]

ugh idk if its the lack of sleep ive had or what but im so pissy for no reason

like i want to watch the fallout TV show but im literally having an autism meltdown/tantrum about it (I know its fucking stupid and dumb, but i literally cannot control my autism symptoms) and people keep spoiling shit for me trying to convince me that its good and im just like

getting really mad the show has been out not even like 4 days and ppl are already posting shit untagged and unprompted but its MY FAULT bc i didnt binge it in one sitting the moment it dropped. like that behavior isnt fucking normal

and with how pissy i am about it im not gonna watch it with the mindset i have currently, like why the fuck would i do that to myself

but since im the fallout guy everyone knows, they keep flocking to me and im getting. REALLY fucking annoyed. like i feel crazy bc the dread i feel about all these video game adaptations for TV just. makes me feel gross and uneasy and trying to explain that to people and getting dismissed as a hater makes me feel crazy

like the same feeling of dread came over me when the last of us TV show was announced and i have NO FEELINGS for that game. Like this is not a good thing and i literally do not know how to explain it to people. it doesnt matter how 'good' the show is/could be. This Is Bad....but i cant explain it

[vinnival]

WAIT I ACCIDENTALLY FOLLOWED YOU IS THAT MEAN?? UGH I DUNNO BUT WOULD IT BE ALR IF I ASKED FOR A MADNESS COMBAT MATCHUP,,

i don't really mind any pronouns but i use she her! i'm 5'5, and currently questioning my sexuality (ALL I KNOW IS IM NOT STRAIGHT BAHBAH) i have fluffy dark brown hair, shoulder length im pretty sure?? my hair is fucking whack, i have brown eyes, and my skin doesnt decide whether it wants to b light or dark, but most of the time it can b pretty light and i havent gone outside 4 a bit,, pls send help][pray]]

my personality is also very idrk,, weird?> it really depends on who im talking to because i have a fear of losing people but uhh,, i'm very playful and a bit harsh, i pick fights with people,, i really enjoy listening to people vent and helping them, some of my friends consider me to be a mother figure to them and it makes me super happy honestly-- i get angry easily and it leads to me saying prickly things to people or just me breaking things, im scared of making new friends and meeting new people because of the way i am, i tend to act like a cat like meowing, hissing, and stuff like that,, i also really like attention but like,, not too much attention because its just annoying, and im an asshole.

im currently obsessed homestuck and madness combat. I think true crime cases are really interesting to me, making games on roblox, and bullying little children on there

i didnt know if i should put this here but i have mental illnesses, such as autism, adhd, d.i.d, and other things that will make me feel like one of those people that make me feel kinda gross

I DONT KNOW IF THAT WAS GOOD MY ENGLISH SUCKS WHAWAAHBJNKFMLDS

I'll finish this when I'm done with all the prompts and hc requests!

finally..... after 2 months..... all done !! Here we go ! Enjoy <3

MATCHUPS ARE NOT OPEN YET

You got a match! You're matched with...

2BDAMNED

<3

First off lemme say: he'd love bullying kids on roblox with u

Oh yeah father figure with mom friend? Perfect match

He forces you to help him take care of the boys but u don't mind because you love him <3

Ngl he probably met you off of a random website that was miraculously still up in Nevada

Replied to one of your comments or something along those lines??

He said something silly n so you were automatically intrigued

"hey lol" -ur first text

lord u were NERVOUS

But !! You immediately hit it off w him! You both slowly but surely knew more about each other

He didn't fully trust you as a person (anyone can be out to kill him tbh) so he was restrictive, but he was confident in the firewalls and proxies he set up so AAHW won't find him

Alas after enough days he finally felt comfortable enough to meet you irl

You felt 100x more nervous, scared even, but you trusted him enough to only bring one gun

Finally, you two met, immediately growing comfortable in each others' presence

2B discarded the pistol and knife he had hidden away, and you tossed away your pistol

"Don't toss your gun what the fuck"

"I do what I want pissbaby"

You can tell he gave you a scowl; "just as mean as you are online, I see how it is"

Your eyes narrowed playfully,"If you expected anything different change your standards"

Since he knew you love to rile people up for no reason, he kept calm. He would usually keep calm in these situations, so even if you didn't tell him, he'd be good

Whoa you act like a cat? He thinks that's p cute tbh

Hank also loves interacting with you bc of your cat-like habits

Oh man. Loves. I mean, LOVES. petting/brushing ur hair .

So fluffy......so pretty....

When you've had enough attention, he picks up on it immediately and respects ur boundaries

Also loves watching true crime with you ! I can see him being interested in other serial killers since he has to deal with one himself and would like to know more about their general mindset instead of directly asking hank a metric shitton of questions

He takes you into his work space while he works so u two can just talk yanno

If you start getting riled up for any reason, he stops what he's doing, gently grabs you, and leads you out of there so you don't break any of his hard-earned equipment

Aye you werent complaining he holds u so gentol....

If you have an episode of any kind, he's there to try and calm you down. He has multiple methods of calming people down depending on what type of crash they're having, if u dissociate and need help remembering what ure doing, he's totally fine with reminding you ! Don't be ashamed or afraid of your mental state around him, he's as close to a doctor that one could be in Nevada, so he won't judge you for what you have. It's a part of you :] !!

Asks you out in the dumbest way possible (in your opinion)

He gets back in the site you first met him on and shot you a message

You were confused when you checked it the next day on the same computer he used

"So... Want to date?"

"2B?!" You yelled, your voice cracking

it's been so long since I've done my last madcom matchup that I literally had to look at one of my old ones to remember how I formatted it Bruh

anyways I hope u enjoyed !!!! <3

[samsflannel]

survey results are in!

sorry, this is gonna be a long post. yesterday i posted a survey with a list of polls regarding Supernatural, and it was SO much fun. I got over 300 responses, which was A LOT to sort through for the short responses, but I’ve gathered all the “data” and here it is! My responses to each poll will be under the screenshots (they are in groups of 2). I’m going to include the short answer responses in another post. ENJOY!

1. Starting off strong.

2. Pleased with this one as well.

3. Yep, I expected this response from most of us.

4. Sami, I made the wincest and destiel response just for you. YW.

5. CMON YOU GUYS......live a little!!! samjack sexy

6. I’m not really surprised that Playthings got the bulk of votes here, but I think my vote would have been 8x23.

7.  :)

8. i’m disappointed that more people didn’t choose the yellow one tbh

9. it is sexy. it is. wake up.

10. i love Dean, but he’s definitely an asshole. and that’s what makes him a great character!

11. hehe.....i understand why not a lot of people picked noncon bait....u r valid its ok im gross.

12. WHO THE FUCK PICKED NO......have you ever consumed media

13. WBK.

14. damn, Dean kinda got the short end here! a lot of samgirls took this survey

15. i get why you wouldn’t like Bugs bc it does have harmful stereotypes about native ppl but the rest of it is peak season 1 wdymmm

16. almost 50/50 here! old vs new fans we love to see it. I am definitely wincest old guard.

17. YEP. Eric Kripke needs shock therapy for that one

18. The fact that some people admitted to being dry.....tragic. I think Eileen is a great character but they are NOT endgame.

19. SO YOURE JUST GONNA SIT THERE AND ADMIT HOW WRONG YOU ARE??

20. ugh. yeah. same.

21. who tf picked blue. cmon. red meat incest agenda.

22. SAM MOMMY MILKERS!!!!! hucow sam <3

23. Mixed on this one! My response is obviously yellow :)

24. I do think Bobby favored Dean somewhat.

25. Johnzazel agenda so true

26. HIGHKEY CANON. AND SEXY

27. someone requested a combination of blue and yellow and you’re so right i apologize.

28. mixed on this one for top vs bottom fans! almost a 50/50 split

29. ANNA DID NOTHING WRONG

30. I can’t believe this one is almost 50/50. Ruby girlboss you guys are haters

31. again. admitting you’re dry. THEY FUCKED

32. yeah :(

33. Q-anon level conspiracy theory.

34. I actually fall into the blue. I do believe Cas was in love with Dean, but not the other way around. I think Cas loving Dean makes wincest so much more spicy

35. I love sam so much

36. those of you who answered yes........join my movement.

37. c’mon. even if you don’t ship wincest you need to admit this one.

38. sorry this one was self-indulgent.

39. JESS PEGGED SAM.

40. idk, i personally think Cassie deffo pegged Dean. She has top energy.

41. So all the people who answered no have definitely not read the fic (were too young to remember it) or are squicked by underage which is ok! its one of those fics i read back in 2010 so i have fond memories of it

42. hahahah you guys were mean on this one

43. it’s canon bro sorry

44. thank god this one was majority yellow

45. i give wincestiel a valid pass! dean has multiple holes

46. Jack is hole <3

47. I actually think both are great (and ppl were mad I didn’t have that option srry) but deanpussy is incredible and underrated.

48. SEXY>>>>>>

49. thank you for enabling me.

50. can you guess the redacted part? it was: insert various objects into himself :))))

51. ok heres the big question! i’m not surprised ilysmmbb won, but i personally vote for “yeah, there he is” !! i think its underrated and such a tender moment.

52. i’m in the blue. i like cas.

53. i actually am in the yellow on this one. i think its more realistic, although blue is hot forsure

54. top 3 cas moment right there.

55. objectively yes on this one. thank god for COVID- *gets shot at*

56. sorry this was shady i’m not really like this usually haha. i think death is my fave besides Rowena

57. obviously i’m in the red. i’m shocked that so many people said Yes.......

58. Clearly.

59. I enjoyed fan fiction! i love campy episodes as you all know (like Dog Dean afternoon and such) so i loved fan fiction. it was a nice nod to someone like me who has been watching for a long time.

60. HOW THE FUCK COULD YOU NOT KNOW WHO ANDY IS. i wish he would have been in the show longer........

61. uh....yeah.

62. Yeah c’mon. Dean would and you know it.

63. Thank god you guys didn’t fuck this up. I would agree, but Corbett is a close second for me.

64. IN THE RED BABY!!!!

65. we love a man bleeding out. we do.

66. i actually think misha is chill with J2 but.....you can’t deny J3 have more chemistry.

67. I uh......don’t think Dean would be a great father. is this me projecting my own issues with my father onto Dean? maybe,,,,

68. i’m surprised this was so negative! I think i would be interested

69. thanks for reading my shitty poetry!! i also had s4 dean in mind when writing this

70. CMON.....ITS KINDA SEXY CMON.......that spice of battered wife syndrome.......violent man in the house.......sam beaten down....im barking

71. haha yessss go yellow.

72. go yellow again.

73. I think I would actually vote yellow on this one. what a sweet and beautiful thing to say to someone, and its so very DEAN.

74. mhm. i think so. 

75. SEXY CONTROLLING OLDER BROTHER!!!!!

76. no idea why people answered yes to this one. that punch was fucked up. was it sexy? thats another story,,

77. WOKE. 

78. I do. I love pilot Dean.

79. Dean is a carfucker. any side of the fandom can recognize that

80. thank you GREEN!!!!!!

81. Sam is bi wtf! Sera Gamble erasure

82. Padackles commune <33333 they all fuck and they don’t know whose kid is whose!!!! (not really but this is sexy)

83.  THESE BROTHERS ARE WEIRD FOR SURE.

[ushiwakaout]

Valentine’s Day with the Haikyuu Boys

Various x Female Reader || Different Lover Tropes (sfw)

Iwaizumi Hajime (Friends to Lover Trope)

Y’all have been friends for as long as him and oikawa have been friends- but just a little more distant

You’re the person he goes to when he has girl problems or problems in general

So when he isn’t feeling particularly well about himself he goes to you.

He lays his head on your chest, your shoulder, your lap (usually 99% always your plush thighs)

He makes you play with his hair and his hands when he’s feeling sad because you care for him like no one else has (well, his mother but you know what I mean.)

But tell me why y’all haven’t dated. No one fucking knows. Not even oikawa.

So a few days before V-day you ask Iwa if he was a valentines and he says No and questions why you asked him.

You tell him not to worry and plan out everything

HE’S SO SO EMBARRASSED WHEN YOU BRING HIM A SINGLE WHITE ROSE A HOMEMADE CHOCOLATES

He’s like? “W-why? Why’d you do that?”

and you obviously have the tsundure qualities he has so your like “B-because i like you stupid!!! Now are you taking the damn gift or not? I know Oikawa would-”

He’s like- NO NO. Stop right there. “Give me that! SHITYKAWA WOULDNT APPRECIATE THIS THE WAY I WOULD!” Iwa is barking at this point

You: “FINE! THEN! TAKE IT- NOT LIKE I CARE!”

whole school it just watching you guys romantically bark at eachother

Iwa: “FINE! THIS MEANS WE’RE DATING, RIGHT?”

You: “YES.”

Iwa: “GOOD.”

You: “GREAT.”

it’s so awkward the whole day. like grossly awkward. but the tension dies down when you sit next to him during lunch and slowly caress the back of his hand the way you did when you weren’t dating

he’s glad you opened up to him because it would have taken him much longer to admit that he liked you

Time Skip Iwaizum Hajime 

Buys you a bouquet of 23 white roses the day before valentine’s day to give you the twenty-fourth on valentine’s day. He does this every year now.

You guys invite friends over because as (almost) 30 years old you think it’s a little cheesy, Hajime acts like its Valentines Day every day. So when Matsukawa and Hanamaki come over, they get really drunk and they appreciate you guys for not being lovey dovey around them and they start sobbing and laughing bc they’re single.

This becomes a tradition but ofc, sometime iwa calls ahead of time to tell them not to come over for... certain reasons.

He’s probably the cheesiest man on earth because he does not romance well- neither do you but he tries his best.

Would probably ask you to marry him on valentines day if you hadn’t told him before hand “If you even think about proposing on valentines day- I will rip out your organs... Ugh- thats so cheesy, everyone gets engaged on valentines day... Do it like the morning after new years or sum...”

*iwa secretly putting a red velvet box back in his underwear drawer* 

*laughing nerveously* “Hahaha, right- fucking stupid...”

You look at him blankly “Don’t tell me you where about to propose?”

Iwa: “NO! NOT AT ALL.”

You: “What are you hiding in your underwear drawer then, Hajime?”

Iwa: “NOTHING WOMAN, STOP BEING NOSY.”

Osamu Miya (Platonic)

You look so pretty when you come into the gym and everyones like “looking good y/n.” and it’s normal bc your their manager- ofc they’d hype you up.

But the closer they get, they notice your crying.

Osamu isn’t in the gym, he’s getting water in the back and he sees that Aran is holding you in his arms and he just knows something is wrong and everyone is trying to hold him back because he knowns exactly what happened. He’s calling Atsumu over and he’s ready.

Everyone is chasing them down and Osamu already has his guy pinned to the floor (lets just say he has baseball practice)

You’re rushing to get Osamu off but get gets a few swings in before you completely pull him off.

Samu: “You’re too good for this Idiot anyway.” he looks at Kita, “I’m ditching practice and I’m taking her out, I’m not taking no as an answer.”

It was the first time anyone has stood up to Kita and he just nods.

Samu: “Let me wash up, alright? I’ll take you somewhere nice.”

He kisses your forehead and runs your thumb on your cheek, “Stop crying, makes you look ugly.”

As much you wanted to frown, you bursted out a laugh before shoving him away, “Not as ugly as Atsumu.”

Time Skip Osamu Miya (Boss/Employee Trope)

Osamu calls you really early in the morning to ask you to work on valentines day. For some reason, he hates this day more than anything. He doesn’t like how girls (of all ages) bring him stuff and he ALWAYS has to reject them but now since your working you’re the the ones who kicks them out.

He loves watching you run them away with a sweet smile and when you turn around you have the most annoyed look on your face, it’s really cute.

Samu: “Thank you princess.”

You: “Yeah, shut up and get to cookin’ boss.”

He just smirks and tilts his little onigiri hat and starts on orders again

Once the shift is over and the restaurant is closed, cleaned and organized, you’re waiting for him at one of the tables you didn’t pick up yet and he brings you out a really cute meal.

You: “What’s this for?”

Samu: “A thank you, for- *clears throat* not leaving my side... and I-uh don’t want you to do so, any time soon.”

You’re looking at him blankly. He forgot how blunt he had to be with you.

Samu: “I- God, I’m trying to ask you to be my girlfriend.”

You: “OH! Oh my god.... Really? Are you sure?”

Samu: “Y/n, I- You’re lucky I love you....”

You: “L-Love me?”

He looks at you like a deer caught in the headlights... “Uh-I uh... crap- I didn’t mean-”

You: “Shut up and kiss you Idiot.”

Samu: “Okay- yeah good idea.”

Matsukawa Issei (Best Friends Older Sister || First Love Trope) @sloppykyuu

You’re only two years older than him but ever since he became friends with Hanamaki (around the age of 7) he came over once and you bumped into him and he blushed to the point he looked like a cherry tomato

Maki thought it was gross that he suddenly started liking his older step sister

You and Hanamaki get along really well now (You’re 18, making Maki and Matsun are 16), so whenever Matsukawa is around you jokingly called him “Nii-san.” When Hanamaki wasn’t there and he spit out his drink. 

You laughed so hard and just ruffled his hair a little and left him alone for the rest of the day

Ofc you teased him a lot but the second you turned 18, they cooled down a lot. 

So when he gives you a bouquet of Sakurasou (Primula Sieboldii, which signify desire and long lasting love. 

Matsukawa: “ Please accept the flowers- I know you’ve been keeping your distance because of your age and you don’t have to accept my feelings for you but please accept these flowers.”

The sweetest boy you’ll ever meet ngl, “Thank you Matsun...” you gave him a kiss on the cheek and ruffled his hair. “As me again when you’re older, yeah? I’ll always be willing to give you a chance.”

Timeskip Matsukawa Issei

When he turns 18, you weren’t single. He was so miserable watching you be happy but when you come home a little sad looking, Hanamaki and him are pretty confused when you tell them that YOU broke up with your boyfriend

Maki: “Everything was going alright with you guys- what happened?”

You: “I uh- I lost feelings... Nothing against him or anything, I just... just happen to like someone else now.”

You don’t look at Matsukawa so he’s like- ugh.... another guy? he’s heartbroken just a little.

3 years later when both of you got drunk when Maki was out for a valentines day date- Matsun was like, “Admit it already, you’ll never find a guy who dedicates to you the way I have.”

You’re a blushing mess since your drunk and you just pin him to the floor, a little teary eyed, “Maybe your right... Maybe I should give you your chance. You’re still so in love with me? After all this time?”

He brushes a strand of hair away from your face and smiles, “Of course I have... You I would have lasted being friends with Maki if it weren’t for you?”

Maki: “I HEARD THAT!”

Both of you laugh but you lay your body on him as he wrapped his arms around you, kissing your forehead as your step brother grimaced at the sight. “Took both of you long enough, disgusting...”

 Ushijima Wakatoshi (Reunion Romance Trope)

You’ve known Ushijima the longest out of everyone, even Tendo. And every year you ask him to be your valentines and he agrees bc your friends.

From the start it was always a friendly thing but at some point, your feelings for him changed during high school.

You don’t tell him, you never dared because you know his dedication towards volleyball would always go before his feelings.

One day you’re down the hall from his class and you notice that he’s talking to a girl- or more the girl is talking to him, so you hide in the corner. She was offering him a box of chocolates but he politely denies by saying “There’s only one girl who’s allowed to be my valentines, but please don’t take this personally, she mean’s everything to me.”

D-did you just here that right? Your leaning against the wall and sliding your back all the way to the floor, blushing like a mad woman.

So when Ushijima walks down the hall and sees a small figure to his side, he’s really worried as to why you are on the floor looking hot. “Y/n? Are you alright? Do you have a fever?” 

THIS MAN DOES NOT PUT HIS HAND ON YOUR FOREHEAD BUT HE PUTS HIS OWN AGAINST YOURS 

You’re trying so heard not to breathe onto his face but then he looks into your eyes when hes doing this and you shove his gift onto his chest. “PLEASE GET OUT OF MY FACE AND J-JUST TAKE THEM, IM FINE...” His warm fingers graze your for a second when he takes the chocolates and you just can’t do it anymore “I N-NEED TO GO NOW, BYE TOSHI- WAKATOSHI.”

Doesn’t question you, like ever.

During graduation you tell everyone that you are leaving over seas and Toshi honestly looks like a kicked puppy- his best friends, they’re all leaving. 

You’re crying into his arms when he’s dropping you off at the airport.

Timeskip Ushijima Wakatoshi

7 years. It’s been 7 years since wakatoshi has see your pretty face. 

You send a valentines post card and somehow it always gets there a day before, the day after or sometimes- even on valentines day.

You forced him to give you his address when he moves every time bc you send him a basket of goods. Usually a fruit arrangements bc you know he has a sweet tooth for fruits covered in chocolate- even tho he doesn’t really understand them

But this year nothing has arrived yet, until you text him to open the door since something was dropped off.

He’s a little confused as to why you noticed him but he opened the door, and there you where- standing right in front of him with luggage and his yearly valentines gift. 

“You’re looking at me like you’ve seen a ghost?”

He doesn’t say anything but pull you into a hug.

“...I missed you too big guy.”

After several, long virtual calls- he finally got to see you in person.

He pulls you back and looks a little upset.

You: “What? What’d I do?”

Toshi: “I might have sent flowers to your home.”

You low key wanna start crying, “What kind of flowers?”

WHYD YOU ASK THAT, HE LOOKS ALL FLUSTERED NOW, PLZ TELL HIM THAT YOU DON’T NEED TO KNOW

Toshi: “Um.... anarrangementoftwentyfourwhiterosesbecauseiwantedtotellyouhowifeltbutididntknowhowtodoitanyotherwayandididntwanttodoitthroughacomputerscreen.”

You: “I hope you know, I understood every single word you just said.”

You give him a soft smile and lean down to pick something up that was covered by your bags. A bouquet of 24 white roses.

You: “I think... I feel the same way.”

He has never wanted to kiss someone so bad.

Toshi:“May I kiss you?”

You: “Do you really have to ask?”

Sakusa Kiyoomi  (Enemies To Lovers || Secret Admirer Trope)

You probably get 20 confessions on valentines day every year, every time it’s the same handwriting and sometimes it’s new.

But one day, a specific letter get’s into your desk instead of your locker, a black envelope with a white pearly wax stamp with silver lettering on the back “From your secret admirer :]”

The smiley face is a little distorted and you smile at it, but it turns into a scowl when Sakusa naps it from your fingertips. Luckily it was lunch and not may people where in this class. “Secret admirer? Who’d like your dumbass.”

You pull the note out of his hands and sit back down, “Maybe a bigger dumbass, now leave alone asshole.”

He rolls his eyes and sits on his desk, that just happens to be at your back left.

He noticed the smile you had on your lips when you sat back down and looked at the letter. He could tell that your mood had changed when you leaned back and read the letter with awe. He obviously couldn’t tell you in was him.

If he did, you’d probably think it was a joke. But it was nothing like that, he never meant to create an awful relationship between you to but he had made a nasty joke about you and you happen to overhear and have disliked him every since.

He’s kept the bully act ever since and now doesn’t know how to go back.

You looked giddy all day after reading the love letter he left for you, he didn’t know how to feel.

He never stopped sending the letters.

Around the third year, they began to stop and so did Sakusas bullying- but only because you didn’t have any classes together. So when one day you’re walking towards your locker, really late because you had to clean up the classroom. You see him slide a letter in your locker. 

You don’t confront him right then and there but you decide to let him walk a way just a little before you quickly get to your locker and open the letter.

You scan over the letter and you see that famous distorted smiley face and all the feelings they had written down. You where furious.

“Hey Sakusa!” You somehow where able to catch up to him and pushed his back as he walked away. “Is this funny to you?! Is messing with people’s feelings fucking funny to you?”

When he turned around he didn’t expect to see you crying, so he just stood like a deer caught in the headlights. 

“Answer me! Why’d you do this? Three years, three fucking years I thought this was someone who actually had feelings for me, someone I thought I could fall in love with myself but I guess this was just some joke right? Some prank? Who wrote these? You know what- It doesn’t even matter. Fuck you and your fucking letter.” You shoved the letter at his chest and push him in the process.

 He freezes a little but he’s running to catch up with you, “Y/n! Y/n stop walking away. L-Let me explain. Y/N!” He’s able to snatch your wrist and pull you towards him.

The tears are still running down your cheeks and his heart is shattering. “It wasn’t a joke. It- it was never a joke, never a dare. I promise, every word in those letters, are what I truly feel.”

You: “Bull- How do I even know that you wrote them in the first place, you can just be the messenger.”

Oomi: “If you put every letter together, it spells my name.”

You roll your eyes at him. 

Oomi: “Don’t believe me?

You: “Of course I don’t.”

“Fine, umm.....”

Both of you didn’t really notice how his hand was still wrapped around your wrist. “Every time I just happen to catch a glance at you when you aren’t looking, it seems like peace on earth... There is no other sight i’d rather see then to see you smile at me, at me only. I want you to look at me the way you look at them but I know in my heart that it will take years for you to look at me that way.”

You pull your wrist away from his hand and wipe your face clean from the tear that have dried down.

“The day you heard me make fun of you... I don’t have any excuses for it. I did it and I regret it and- and I’m so sorry.”

You shake your head and begin to laugh... “I don’t even want to believe you.”

“I know, I just please let me make it up to you.”

Timeskip Sakusa Kiyoomi

You: “Oomi, I thought you hated valentines day.”

Oomi: “I do, but you deserve flowers because I was an asshole for so long.”

You: “... that was like 8 years ago...”

Oomi “Your point?

He hands you over the flowers and gives you a soft kiss. “You deserve so much more, and every day I will give you more, understand?”

You begin to giggle mid kiss, “Yes sir.”

Oomi: “Do you still have those letters?”

You: “Of course, I read them every time your gone.”

A/N: THIS TOOK ALL DAY- I WORK TOMORROW BUT I MIGHT WRITE SOMETHING UP BC IVE BEEN OBSESSED W NANAMI LATELY 

[shakespeareismydad]

My thought process as I watch season 7 of GoT

-S07E03

-Can Cersei please shut up god, I’m so tired of listening to her talk

-Qyburn can suck a dick

-i have never hated a character more in my life

-this is painful to watch

-oh no not the ince*t, god anything but that, I’m so over it 

-STOP KISSING

-no one cares if you're the queen stop fucking your brother 

-i would love to see cersei burned by a dragon 

-brooding buddies ahaha

-this scene is so pretty, the way his cloak blows in the wind is *chefs kiss* 

-tyrion and jon interacting makes me happy 

-“are you trying to present you're own statements as wise wisdom” PleaSe 

-don’t make me think about robb and rickon PleaSe

-fucking lord baelish ugh

-sansa and her quick fire wit

-there are some chars i cant stand listening to 

-ooh is it arya, please i hope it is, 

-its bran instead oop, didn’t expect that,, hug it OUT 

-bran is so pretty wow

-this is so sweet, the way the snow enhances her hair is *chefs kiss*

-oh no is Sam gonna be in trouble for helping jorah 

-this is nice

-i hope sam doesnt get kicked out of the cidatal 

-GO SAM 

-ive heard so much about Casterly Rock and this is the first time I’m seeing it and tbh the hype wasn’t worth it 

-SECRET TUNNEL!!

-pointy stick go stabby stabby 

-FUCKING EURON AGAIN I SWEAR

-canny hack it, am not enjoying this

-for fuck sake the lannisters are at highgarden and for why

-I still don’t know if i like Jamie Lannister or not

-they aren’t gonna kill ornella, i hope not

-they really think they're gonna win how embarrassing 

-she really just drank the wine

-the fact that jamie is jofferys dad still grosses me out

-S07E04

-pretty op scene 

-Tom Hopper in game of thrones whaattttt

-Oh my god, every time i see cersei i wanna take my eyeballs out

-i don’t trust baelish with bran

-i don’t trust baelish period. 

-imagine giving a kid a dagger that almost killed him i-

-i don’t want meera to leave

--alot of people died for bran ouch 

-wait bran died, hol up, does that hes ACTUALLY the three eyed raven this time 

-ARYA JUST GOT HOME

-they better let arya in 

-Arya gone ahah

-sansa and arya moment, reunited at last

-this moment is kinda sad tbh

-this is so wholesome 

-its sad again, i wish robb and rickon were here too

-”its wasted on a cripple” i bby noo

-brans wheelchair is so nifty

-i love podrick payne

-okay but theyre outfits are kinda bomb

-thats a lot of fucking dragonglass

-secret cave what will it hold

-the children and the first men are smart 

-yess queen fight with them, wait bend the knee i- nevermind

-ion like this, does she really think he’ll bend the knee and the north folk will be happy

-what now

-oh no shes angry and doubting tyrion that cant be good 

-jon is so pretty 

-Daenerys’ shoulder broche thing is so cool, i want one

-brianne and pod training together is so nice

-im so proud of arya, what a bad bitch 

-seeing arya ad brianne train has me shook 

-”I’m a Bastard” me too jon me too

-ITS THEON I MISSED HIM

-uh-oh jon doesn't look happy to see theon

-are they gonna hug

-NO THEY ARENT FINNA HUG, pleas no fighting

-im glad he isnt killing theon

-the queen is gone?! Miss thing where did she go

-i can't get over the fact that tom hopper is in game of Thrones

-Fuck the queen especially Cersei

-its gone all quiet that means something bad is gonna happen oh no

-this shit gives me anxiety

-thats a lot of dothraki

-"we can hold them off" my guy no you cant

-she brought her dragon good luck holding them off now pahahah

-is this where jamie dies, I wouldn't be mad :|

-miss thing its over for them

-everything is going up in flames i- why are they still fight back at this point

-if ser bronn dies I'm gonna be mad

-sliced off the horse leg and for what

-deadass though if bronn dies I'm done

-i have so much anxiety oh no

-thats a big fucking arrow

-tyrion looks so sad oh no

-jamie is gonna die if he does boost soon

-I dont want the Dragons to get hurt ahhh

-i love bronn but king this ain't it

-HE HIT THE DRAGON THAT DANI IS ON I- THIS ISNT GOOD

-he blew the arrow thing up instead

-jamie leave youre going to die

-mayhe I don't want him to die just yet but he should listen to tyrion and fuck off

-ser bronn to the rescue?!?!

-im so stressed out ahaha

S07E05

-canny hack it they almost drowned

-jamie 'the twat' lennister

-tyrion walking through the aftermath makes me uncomfy, feels bad man

-dragon said rawr

-what the fuck kinda option is bend the knee or die

-tyrion murdered his dad and he'll do it again

-Just bend the knee it literally cant be that hard

-is she gonna feed them to the dragons

-oh my God she is, wait shes gonna roast them, that's definitely far worse than bending the knee

-ashes to ashes ig

-Cersei should be worried, Dani has three dragons why do they think they can win

-cersei gives me a headache

-jon is so pretty and for what

-mister dragon needs to chill

-is he gonna eat jon

-oh hes letting jon pet him alrightie

-it's kinda creepy seeing it up close ngl

-"gorgeous beast" PleaSe

-figure of speech yeah sure right mhmm

-didnt you want jorah dead like three seconds ago

-i fucking hate those ravens

-thats a big mountain

-thats a lot of dead folks oofdt

-oh sam

-hes a smart wee lad

-i hope they listen to sam, hes making very good point

-some of these measter are dickhead

-im so tired of bending this fucking knee

-what the fuck is a wet nurse

-how are you gonna bring a wight to the capital

-this is whisky business

-trusting a stranger is never a good idea but okay I guess

-the minute jon leave everyone starts shitting on him, what arseholes

-sansa is so pretty

-im so confused what is happening

- Ion like this

-oh no is jamie gonna kill tyrion

-not tyrion making jokes as if he isnt gonna die

-wheres gendry i miss him

-look at my mans I love him

-he looks so good,, look at him king shit

-pop off gendry with your big hammer thing,, I was not expecting that

-not miss thing tryna get bronn killed for betrayal i- 🤚🏾hold up

-IS SHE PREGNANT AGAIN OG MY FUCKING GOd,, shes really ginns have another ince*t baby i 💀,, cut the fkn camera

-gendry you had one job

-"youre alot leaner,, you're alot shorter" I king PleaSe pahahaha

-tyrion is so pretty

-jon you need to return cause like, I dont want you to die

-wait is sam leaving,, bye big library

-what is lord baelish up too now,, I'm sus

-only copy of what,, what is he doing

-is arya finna break into his room

-i dont like this,, he probably has whatever arya is looking for on him

-he hid it in the mattress that smart ngl

-what is lord baelish plotting,, it's making me unsettled

-"you need to convince the one with the dragons or the one with that fucks her brother" paahahah I cant pLease that's so fuunny

-tormund and jorah fight let's go

-"were all breathing" I mean ya I guess pahaha

-gendry is so pretty

S07E06

-they look so tiny against the snow

-"down south the air smells like pig shit" "you've never been down south" "I've been to winterfell" "that's the north" "pfftt" I love that whole interaction

-does tormund wanna fuck gendry i- pahahah

-hes allowed to be mad at you for selling him

-jorah and jon are having a moment bless them

-arya reminiscing about her dad is so cute and it makes me sad

-oh no they're arguing

-"beloved Joffrey" ouch

-we were getting along so well,, and lord baelish had fucked it up

-"gingers are beautiful" yes they are my guy yes they fucking are

-dws tomund what dick is 🤚🏾🤠

-uh babies tormund chill out

-the way Jon's jacket coat thing puffs out is so funny

-i really hope Jon's not in love with Dani

-cersei wants to murder alot of people

-wait why cant dani have children

-they looks like ants in the snow

-is that a polar bear,, NOT A POLAR BEAR I REPAET NOT A POLAR BEAR

-THEYVE GOT FLAMING SWORDS

-mans is gonna get eaten alive

-hes gonna die out here and he doesn't even care,, or maybe he wont die i ??????

-where did they get a flaming sword from

-lord baelish needs to stfu

-what is baelish planning

-its gone all quiet again

-jon said slice and dice

-that a loud fucking screech,, oh no I hear rumbling that cant be good

-go gendry go!!

-theyre running across a lake what if the ice breaks,,

-gendry is a fast little fuck huh

-im so stressed I dont want anyone else to die,, especially gendry

-theyre gonna freeze to death

-oh no thros froze, feels bad man

-where did he get a flaming sword,, it pretty poggers

-ive got anxiety

-not sansa going back to king's landing

-miss thing, honey, sansa it's never safe

-yall Danis coat is so pretty

-how to train your dragons type beat

-well done hound you've provoked the dead

-wheres dani and her dragons when you need her

-if tormund dies,, oh nooooo

-someone should help him

-this is so sad

-sis came through what a queen

-the king Walker is gonna throw the ice spear and kill the dragon oh naw

-the stress is coming back

-he just killed on of her dragons,, I'm so shook

-jons gonna drown

-okai hes still alive but how long still he freezes to death

-miss thing you're literally gonna freeze to death dont try to fight

-seeing uncle benjen die, saving him,, that hurted

-the CRUNCH of Jon's coat oft

-shes not gonna kill sansa right?!?

-arya gave her the dagger but now what?!?

S07E07 (this should be good)

-bronn I'm offend men with dicks are just as good with men without them

-the dothraki really just fight for fun huh

-THEON!!!!

-not the brothels 🤚🏾🥴

-the wight doesn't enjoy that box

-cersei you wont be killing anyone,, miss thing needs to SIT DOWN AND STFU

-god I don't wanna deal with any lennister,, apart from tyrion

-i love podrick

-maybe I dont like ser bronn

-im sus,, something bad might happen,, its gone all quiet

-here comes miss thing and euron

-im gonna be sick with anxiety

-does everyone just have a permanent from on their faces or what

-i hate when she speaks

-dragons as a means of travel is so handy

-ats a big fucking dragon pahaha

-constant state of stress

-euron shut the fuck up

-euron is gonna get punched in the face if he doesn't shut up

-sit down euron or fuck off

-cersei shut up for two seconds

-does whe really think the army of the dead is a bad joke,, MISS THING COME ONNN

-does miss thing believe them now after almost being attacked by a wight

-100,000 AT LEAST oh no

-euron is scared lol hes definitely gonna die

-"until the dead is defeated they are our true enemy" Miss thing we've been trying to tell you

-oop mans already been pledged and miss Cersei is pissed

-honestly fuck the Lannisters

-everyone is pissed at jon for not lying lol

-tyrion don't talk to cersei,, that's a bad idea just waiting to happen

-oh lord am stressed

[normal-thoughts-official]

UWU I'm in the mood for some Raphael talk, I love the headcanon you've talked about in the chat about Raphael tolerating Alec only because he makes his dad happy (which is so damn valid of him), and it's one of my most fave things do you have more slightly silly headcanons about it?

you really want me to be beaten up huh may. you want them to come for me again. you want to ruin my life

okay disclaimer Alec stans pwease dont hate me uwu I'm not saying i hate Alec I'm saying that i dont think Raphael would vibe with him. especially after the whole punch which I'll never get over cuz like i KNOW rationally that alec didnt have the full story and if izzy was hurt and sitting beside a white shadowhunter he would go there and beat them up all the same cuz alec's like this, but I'm still upset eidndidjdid my boy doesnt deserve this okay

anyway with that being said

i dont think its Raphael like, genuinely hating him as much as them having nothing in common besides their mutual love for Magnus and desire to see him happy. so Raphael can tolerate him fine, but he's not exactly dying to be best friends. besides, alec's like, all of the most annoying things about shadowhunters (all serious, never fucking relaxes, must have a weapon close at all times, doesn't understand food, doesn't listen to music, doesnt-) that arent like straight up nazist bigotry. so hes just like. ugh. whatever. I'm here for Magnus. leave pls

i can absolutely see that tbh Raphael just goes to their house and is all like "Alec leave i want to talk to Magnus" and alec's like "this is my house?" and raphael's like "and?" and alec's like "Fine, ill take a walk. Magnus, Raphael is here." but he also kisses Magnus goodbye in front of Raphael because he can, in fact, be an ass

also i know i told u about that already but Raphael lowkey challenges him every time like. he'll come by Magnus' and bring food, and of course theres food for 3 because Raphael is not gonna be that rude and he doesn't want to make Magnus feel like Raphael wants him to choose between Raphael and Alec. Alec makes Magnus happy and Raphael would never want to make Magnus feel like his love or presence in his life is conditional. Plus, he doesn't actually hate him. Just a little.

anyway so he brings the food and he's like (clearly judgemental tone) "i brought hot sauce because i figured Alec doesn't usually eat spicy food" and he's obviously correct, Alec had never eaten anything with season in his life before he met Magnus, much less pepper. he's the kind of ultimate, boss-level gringo who puts salt on his food when he's feeling adventurous

so Raphael sits down and puts the food on his plate and he pours hot sauce into his plate while making unwavering eye contact with Alec (yeah raphael can eat in this because he deserves it and i said so) and it's an obvious challenge and it evidently works because Alec 1- is competitive, and 2- actually wants Raphael's respect because he knows how important he is to Magnus. so he takes the salsa from Raphael and starts pouring it too while maintaining eye contact right back, jaw clenched in challenge, looking all serious and Magnus is like "children, please" and raphael's all like "oh no no no, let him" but Alec considers that a win because Raphael is clearly trying to contain a smile and thats the first step to winning him over

so anyway Alec sweats and grimaces through the whole meal, cuz like, look yes he may have pain tolerance because he's a shadowhunter but he's also the bitch who reacted to taking a sip of beer like someone had farted on his face. he can't hide his reactions for shit, but fuck if he doesn't lick the plate clean (not literally like gross) and doesn't shed a single tear, even as he clearly can't keep his eyes open with the effort

Magnus is like "Alexander, you dont have to do this" and alec's like "(eyes squeezed shut, grimacing, drenched in sweat) do what? this is very good" and Raphael is smiling into his plate even as Magnus shoots him dirty looks

then Alec is like "i won. i ate it all" and Raphael is like "(looking at his red sweaty face and puffy eyes) really?"

also look ill always love the hc that Raphael resents Alec for his height and Alec doesnt even notice. Raphael is not short, god damn it, hes 175! thats TEN whole centimeters above the mexican average! he was the tallest boy in Guadalajara! RAPHAEL IS TALL, OKAY

EXCEPT everyone in the goddamn shadow world is apparently a god damn giant. Its humiliating enough that Magnus is 180. but Magnus is his dad, so whatever. but Alec is FUCKING 190. no one needs that much tall. no one! Raphael went from being the tallest boy in the neighborhood to the shortest, and boy he is so not pleased about it

but Alec has no idea because who cares? (Raphael. Raphael cares. deeply. he cares so much) it's not even good to be that tall, he keeps banging his head on things. so there will be moments like. Raphael is standing in front of the bookshelf, seeming very focused. Alec shrugs, figures he's looking for something, and puts the book he was going to put there up. Raphael shoots him a dirty look that might as well be a stab, and Alec's like ???????? did i disrupt you? sorry? and Raphael just crosses his arms like "you didnt do anything, i dont know what you're talking about"

in reality the shelf was too high up because Magnus adjusted his shelves to his and Alec's height, and Raphael refused to stand on his tiptoes or god forbid, a stool, to grab his book, so he was just glaring at the shelf until the book came to him or something. and when Alec put the book up he was mad cuz Alec could reach it fjdndid

later Alec tells Magnus about it like "i dont get what i did. is he just that private?" and Magnus is like "hmm. i have no idea, darling" but next time Raphael comes, the shelves have been spelled to adjust to the book picker's height

also this always makes me think of that scene in hsm where zeke tries to talk to sharpay and she goes "evaporate, tall person!" and leaves and i love that mental image tbh

also like. eventually Alec apologizes for the punching thing (look. look. Im still salty and Raphael deserves it okay) and Raphael is like. moved because something deep inside of him still believed it was his fault and he was a monster, and it's. nice. and Alec kind of extends his arms and Raphael is like "dont think so" and crosses his arms and Alec kind of very very slowly lifts his arm and pats Raphael's head once and Raphael wants to scream and Alec looks very awkward and sheepish and Magnus bursts out laughing

(Raphael doesnt mind, though, because Magnus is genuinely so happy all day that they had a good interaction. so happy. and Raphael thinks, okay, this is okay. it's good if it makes Magnus happy.)

(Magnus also pats his head and plays with his hair, but its okay because Magnus has always done that and Raphael doesnt mind. only from him though. and raphael's partners. but anyway)

plus whenever Magnus is like, upset, or sick or something, theyre like. an unit. because for all they have no common interests they do think very alike (autistic solidarity i guess) and are very practical when it comes to taking care of others, and they both just. adore Magnus, okay. so Raphael will arrive, make Magnus soup. while he makes soup, Alec stays with him and takes his temperature. once Raphael is back with the soup, Alec goes out to buy medicine, and Raphael stays with him to make him company. and so on. at some point Alec is almost falling asleep by Magnus' side and Raphael taps his shoulder and points to the chair nearby, and Alec nods and dozes off for a while. then its the other way around. Magnus isnt seriously sick, of course, but he doesn't usually get sick so it's an event, plus they're both Like This. and for all the grief they give each other, they trust each other to take care of Magnus. theres no argument about that

(Magnus was resting, but he did see some of these moments, and smiled a bit to himself before dozing off again)

also Raphael and Ragnor gave Alec the ultimate shovel talk (Ragnor doesn't trust anyone after Camille, and while neither do cat and dot, they were more chill), but it lowkey backfired because they were like "if you ever hurt him, we'll remove your kneecaps" and Alec was like "(nodding seriously) thats fair"

also i know we've talked about this already but i also love the idea that Raphael goes to their house and is all absentmindedly like "hm can i have some coffee" and alec's like "sure, ill make it :) you stay here and talk to Magnus" and when Alec comes back he hands Raphael his coffee in a "best. bonus son. ever" mug and then he leans back against the wall, sipping his own coffee from his "world's #1 stepdad" mug that he bought himself, trying to hide his shit eating grin, and Raphael scowls and deliberately holds it so his hand covers the words, and Magnus laughs and his eyes shine as he sips his tea.

(later, Raphael is like. guess me and lightwood have a dynamic now. gross. but he still rolls with it)

in short Raphael and Alec being little shits to each other but still building something of a relationship for Magnus and always taking care of him..... ultimate trope

[mulderspice]

like god. sorry to keep talking about this but. there are so many episodes of the x files that are so so so objectively horribly racist so as a fan of color im gonna make jokes about scully (and mulder! wtf we literally make fun of him being a spoiled rich boy who hates poor ppl all the time) being a “terrible person” all i want lol.

like the white wlw girlies on this site need to examine how much racist shit they let slide bc its Their Fav ❤️ to thhe point where they are antagonizing REAL PEOPLE OF COLOR (u and us) defending some FICTIONAL white bitch like ..... going out of your way to stalk the poc section of the fandom to say mean things to poc who are FANS THEMSELVES (who have all experienced racism in their way. white ppl should know this) bc you couldnt handle joking about your favorite FICTIONAL white woman COP being a racist thats just ......

like whats the “im not a racist” explanation for that. what happened was that you care more about fictional dana scully than about actual real poc (who are just minding their fucking business having fun) and what they have to say abt racism. (ESPECIALLY WHEN THEYRE JUST JOKES LIKE NO ONE IS BEING SERIOUS AT ALL THE BLOG IS HALF FAST FOOD. WHY ARE U SO HEATED. NO ONE EVEN MEANS IT. THATS WHY WE STILL WATCH THE SHOW CUZ WERE OBVIOUSLY FANS TOO).

like whatevr that makes sense that shes attached to scully i dont fault her for having an emotional connection to scully (x files is my life im not one to judge) and for getting mad but. she really took that feeling and went “im gonna make it this poc’s problem”. and came into your inbox. like ..... thats gross u didnt deserve that.

they’ll actually probably reblog a post on their woke little blogs saying all that. but they wont do it. they wont change their behavior. i actually remember her calling us misogynists earnestly like she was woke for it like what a joke..... white ppl get more offended at being called a racist then actual racism. maybe im reading too much into it but i think im just mad because this is something you see everywhere and this is just one tiny example and like. u literally care about just hosting a fun rewatch during these lonely times like youre doing a kind and fun thing. just the idea of fun benign wholesome things exist and still somehow racism find its way in.....

ugh just wanted to say dont let these bitches get u down youre NOT being misogynist or whatever. claiming misogyny is white feminists favorite defense. thats literally these white girls cover for when they get caught being too heated over their fictional girlfriend.

ugh im so sorry for writing so much. this got away from me. thabks for reading it if u made it here lol. and thank you for hosting these rewatches theyve brought me a lot of joy in this sad joyless pandemic.

thanks for sharing babe. I know how u feel and it’s frustrating and annoying but it’s good to talk about it and I’m glad I’ve created a space here for you to literally do that. I know it’s easy to feel excluded from fandom especially as a poc unfortunately it feels kind of unavoidable 🙄 I hope it can change but I also hope we’re very much off tumblr by the time that ever happens LMAO. anyway we love u! Thanks for sharing

[memelzebub]

[waddles by] pardon me vent post coming through...

formality and the ability to fake maturity don't mean shit when it comes to treating people you consider friends with respect and kindess 😑 if you don't want to cradle your ego tight while shedding tears and repeating to yourself (AND THE PEOPLE YOU HURT???) that you're a good person to get through the days, just try being nice?? I promise it feels really good to be nice to people and make them smile, and it feels really good to not force yourself to be around people you "project your insecurities" onto. 😑😑😑 oh but i guess it WOULD hurt you since you knee jerkingly say such hurtful things. I saw you were thrown for a loop when I unironically told you I already knew I was stupid when you just took a joke I made about myself and crushed the insecurity under your foot by saying "that's called being stupid" you better be getting your fucking mean habits in check, and I KNOW being around that entire family that is just so inconsiderate, imbalanced and downright emotionally abusive to eachother isnt gonna make that easy!!

I remember you telling Sam she'd be an ugly girl. Fuck you. I remember someone else never saw me and Sam as the genders we identified as! And she STILL DOES, I KNOW she still does! and you're staying friends with her despite being part of the LGBT club and all this other stuff like why did you even bring her back into this when we were leaving you because this is a whole other issue????? She doesnt believe in lesbians. SHE DOESNT BELIEVE LESBIANS EXIST SHE THINKS LESBIANS ARE DELUSIONAL AND DOESNT BELIEVE NONBINARY IS AN ACTUAL GENDER IDENTITY AND YOU THINK ITS OKAY TO LET US KNOW YOURE STAYING FRIENDS WITH HER WHEN YOURE TELLING US YOURE NOT TRANSPHOBIC ANYMORE IN THIS STUPID ASS GOOGLE DOC ABOUT HOW MUCH BETTER A PERSON YOU ARE?? Remember when you said you were trying to "protect me" from her and all this shit about how she made homophobic jokes about dating me?? What the hell is wrong with you?????? You are not respectful to Sam and I!!! You treated me like I was this emotional soft boy and you treated Sam like she was this gross person who was "too fat" for you and you were ashamed of dating like why didn't you tell me you and her were dating in the beginning?? Why did I have to find out through context clues that you two were dating?? Why was Sam the only person I ever saw initiate pda with you?? Why did Sam tell me about this time you two were at the store and you made a scene that "made people think you were abusing her" MAYBE ITS BECAUSE YOU WERE ABUSING HER!!!!!!!

And why? Why did I ever think you were better than that? You "accepted" me, but not Sam! My fucking sister.

And why did you have to take my own emotional blockages and shortcomings so personally? You never truly understood or cared for what I was going through, huh? That's fine, not everyone is going to, and I know you have it rough, too. I lost nights of sleep worried about you and I wanted to be there for you so bad when shit hit the fan before. But I thought that, before shit started getting weird, that we were super close and I could trust you and you'd understand me. But you took the emotional distance I developed when highschool hit way too personally. And you never understood Sam who is my sister and just someone that I highly relate to emotionally and mentally. And now I have to undo that emotional distance somehow without sabotaging myself over these self villifying messages I told myself that I somehow happened to read word for word in these dms you had with someone else that you chose to snapshot and put in the stupid fucking google doc you shared with Sam and I!!!

You should know better than to tell someone to their face that they're like their parents. And you do know better which is the worst part, you just think you can do it anyway for whatever sick reason hiding under all that woke and inclusive language you picked up on over time. And you think it doesn't count because it's in a snapshot from a dm from a few years ago, well you snapshotting it and posting it for me to read in the present is essentially renewing the statement you fucking jerk. And I know I rubbed that other person "the wrong way." She really hated it when I criticized Bayonetta's oversexualized design one time, I'm certain I did other things that made her uncomfortable like be afab and be more interested in women and femme presenting people and also not shill idiotic white cis men that hide behind large words because theyre so obsessed with being right and sounding intelligent like she does. And it probably rubbed her the wrong way pretty hard when I dropped her for making me feel like she saw me as a delusional, brainless lesbian who only thinks they're a lesbian and will realise they like men just like She does in time. She made me feel like that when I was around her when I'm literally gnc nonbinary and pansexual. Like, I was guilty at first but it was because I couldn't accept I'd dropped her for a reason all my own, and it was always because she made me feel more and more dysphoric and unintelligent the more i interacted with her. Just like you did.

Ugh. Im so fucking mad and ashamed of myself.