#fucking losers oh they’re so dear to me

[gay-dorito-dust]

Can I request headcanons for Vox Machina reacting to gn crush telling him/her that they had been told by their crushes that they're not good-looking and interesting please?

Vax thinks that’s an utter bollocks statement to make, especially since it was coming from someone you had feelings towards.

This absolute sweetheart would sit by you under a blanket of stars and keep you company until he thought you were ready to get back on your feet and show the fucker what they were missing out on.

‘They speak the universal language of bullshit.’ He’d say, which made you laugh in how he worded it. ‘I’m being serious! They don’t fucking know what they’ve missed out on, so don’t be too sad because they knew you were out of their reach and didn’t want to admit it out of their own pride.’ He adds as he allowed you to toy with his dagger

‘Still hurts though.’ You murmured as you tossed the dagger into the air and catching it by the handle as it comes down again. Vax frowns before nudging you in the side playfully.

‘Hey, it may suck now but sooner or later we’re going to look back on this and laugh at how much of a loser they were and how much better off you were without them to tie you down.’ He says and you look at him deeply before smiling. ‘Yeah they were a bit bland featured to be honest.’ You shyly admitted as vax laughed.

‘They’re bland as fuck and you are not, they’re a cunt and your far better then to let that twat have any ounce of power over you in any aspect, oh we can go see if I can pickpocket the bastard for everything their worth? Would that cheer you up?’ Vax asked as you mulled over the idea in your head, but it didn’t take long for you to want to see chaos ensue and you were quick to agree.

You and vax then ran off into the night like two giggling idiots, feeling a thousand times better then you were before.

Vex

‘Oh sweetheart that isn’t true, far from it.’ She’d say as she holds your face, wiping away your tears from your cheeks.

‘Then why would they say it.’ You said as you looked to her for answers within her eyes and Vex couldn’t help but feel her heart crack for you.

‘They’re not worth your tears, none at all if this is how they’re going to make you feel all the time.’ Vex told you as her bear companion huffed and cuddled into your side, sensing your sadness and distress and you were quick to run your hand through their fur in silent thanks.

‘I guess I shouldn’t have expected so much from them to begin with. After all nothing is set in stone.’ You murmured under your breath. ‘But it still hurts regardless.’

‘And it will my dear, it will hurt but sometimes it can motivate us into going the path we were meant to all along.’ Vex replied as watched you and trinket interact with hope in her heart that you’ll be okay, that you’ll be alright in due time.

‘Thanks vex, I really needed to hear that today.’ You tell her, only for trinket to huff as you laugh and ruffle their fur, ‘and yes thank you too trinket, thank you for the emotional support.’

Trinket huffed again but this time in triumph.

Percy wouldn’t know how to comfort you at first but would find it easier to just let you air out your grievances instead.

‘They said I’m bland and unappealing! Only to then call me childish when I showed that I wasn’t happy being called such, claiming I can’t handle the truth.’ You groaned as you fell in to the empty chair that awaited you. ‘What a fucking joke.’ You murmured.

‘What they said is uncalled for and rude on all accounts,’ Percy said calmly, ‘they claim it’s true but from the stories you’ve told me about them, they’re the most boring and unpleasant person to ever engage in a conversation with without feeling the need to bring up your topic of the weather.’ He adds and you snorted at his sarcastic tone.

‘Yeah, they do tend to find the most boring things and talk about them for hours, how I thought that was attractive I’ll never know, blinded I guess.’ You shrugged as you both began to shit talk about your former crush and nitpick at their every aspect with scrutinising detail.

‘They cannot tie a cravat properly to save his life.’ Percy quipped.

‘They avoid taverns because they don’t like the liveliness of them, nor the rowdiness.’ You add.

Percy scoffs, crossing his arms over his chest. ‘Pretentious prick.’

You jolted forward in your seat towards him as though you were going to tell him a secret. ‘He’s not even from a well known enough family for that Percy’s they just wanna act like they are.’ You swore you saw Percy smile before he hid it behind his hand.

‘How embarrassing.’ He mumbles.

‘I know right?!’ You exclaimed as throughout the night you and Percy spend most of it together and shit talking the rejection away.

Keyleth would immediately try to disprove this by taking you out to her garden and showing you all the flowers.

‘Why am I here keyleth? To show how unappealing I am in comparison to pretty flowers?’ You asked.

‘No! I brought you here to show that every flower within my garden is no less loved than the other, all of them are watered and properly cared for regardless of how they look or what they smell like.’ Keyleth replied as she made you look at the daises, lavenders, chrysanthemums, water lilies, thistle, roses, Lilly of the valley and many more as thought they were a kaleidoscope of beauty in all its forms.

‘They are indeed all beautiful in their own unique way.’ You mumbled as you brushed one of the petals of a rose. Keyleth smiled as she put her hands on your shoulders and giving them a squeeze.

‘All flowers are loved by someone and you will find someone who will love you just as much as a Gardner loves their flowers.’ She reassured you in a sweet yet calming voice. ‘For you are worthy of love just like these flowers and you’ll find them, it just takes a little time and patience to happen. So hold on tight because someone is out there looking for the prettiest flower; you.’ She finished and you smiled back at her, resting your hands on top of hers, feeling reassured.

‘Thanks keyleth, I really needed it.’ You replied.

Grog

‘Well they’re stupid.’ He’d say in response.

‘but what if they’re right?’ You asked, defeated. ‘What if I am boring and unappealing?’

Grog huffs. ‘Bullshit. You’re far from either boring or unappealing, they’re just weak shit and cowardly because they know they can’t handle someone like you.’

You’d lean into his side and smiling softly. ‘Thanks for cheering me up Grog, I really needed it.’

‘No problem buddy.’ He smiles as he pats your head as a moment of silence passed between you two. ‘So…do you wanna fuck up some bad guys to relive the stress?’ He then asks and you smiled at him.

‘You don’t even have to ask.’ You tell him as you both set off to kick some ass.

[sideblogofthcentury]

Steve was flipping through a magazine on Eddie’s bed when the thought came to him.

He looked over at Eddie where he was sitting cross-legged on the floor playing around on his guitar. He’d been working out some part of a song while Steve half-listened. He said Steve “helped him think,” whatever that meant.

Steve had realized he didn’t know Eddie’s name. Or at least, what it was short for. He’d become quite close with the older boy since the spring, since he carried his lifeless body out of the upside down, since El closed the gate and burned Vecna and the entire second world to the ground.

Steve didn’t quite understand how he felt about Eddie yet. He knew he really liked him, felt drawn to him, enjoyed his presence, his personality, his appearance.

Okay so maybe Steve knew more than he was willing to admit to himself.

Eddie’s guitar made an unsatisfactory noise and Eddie shook his head, rubbed his forehead in frustration, and looked up at Steve. He smirked when he saw Steve already looking back, and raised an eyebrow. “Can I help you?”

Steve rolled his eyes, letting the snark roll off his back. “Yeah, actually. I’ve been wondering something.”

Eddie raised both eyebrows this time. “Oh? I never pegged you as the curious type.”

“Alright, keep the sass to yourself, Munson.”

Eddie threw his head back and laughed, his curls falling behind his shoulders to expose his long neck.

Focus, Steve.

“What’s Eddie short for?”

Eddie’s light smile turned into a wolfish grin. “Trying to fill out the marriage license?”

Steve groaned and threw the magazine at Eddie, hitting him on the knee.

“Whoa whoa Steve, watch the baby.”

“See you’re clearly already married to that stupid guitar.”

Eddie gasped theatrically, folding himself around the guitar as if to protect it from harm. “He doesn’t mean that dear, you’re a very smart guitar.”

“Booooooo”

Eddie almost fell backwards with laughter. Steve couldn’t help but giggle a bit himself, charmed by Eddie being so proud of his own joke.

“Eddie.”

“Steve.”

“You avoided the question.”

Eddie chuckled, resting his forearms on the guitar. “Clever boy.”

Steve would be lying if he said his breath didn’t catch, if his heartbeat didn’t quicken, his entire body didn’t feel a bit warmer.

Yes, Steve would continue lying for today.

He shook his head. “Eddie. Just tell me. Is it embarrassing?”

Eddie smiled up at Steve, revealing nothing. “Absolutely not.”

“Then why won’t you tell me?”

“Now where is the mystery in that?”

Steve groaned again and fell back on the bed. “You’re so difficult. You know that?”

Eddie threw the magazine back at Steve. “I’ve been told a few times.”

—

Movie night at Steve’s, waiting for Robin to return with her popcorn:

“Edward?”

Eddie let out a sharp laugh. “No.”

—

Family Video, rewinding tapes while Eddie sewed a W.A.S.P. patch onto his new, non-blood-stained battle vest:

“Edison?”

Eddie recoiled. “What? Oh. No.”

—

Picking up the rugrats from Hellfire, leaning on Eddie’s van:

“Edmund?”

“Steve. Gross. No.”

—

Laying on the hood of Steve’s car at Lover’s Lake, stoned and looking up at the stars:

“Edwise?”

“What?”

“Edwise? Edwise Gamgee?”

Eddie cackled out into the night sky, echoes of his joy calling back at them from the trees. “Okay, who gave you access to Lord of the Rings?”

Steve shrugged. “I had to call in backup.”

Eddie rolled onto his side to face Steve, propping up his head on his hand. “You asked the kids what my name was?”

“Yeah.”

“And the best thing those little geniuses could come up with was goddamn Edwise Gamgee???”

Steve giggled. “They’re such nerds.”

“Absolute fucking losers, Harrington.”

They both laughed until they were out of breath, panting out steam in the fall Indiana night.

“No but seriously, Eddie? What is it?”

Eddie sighed, straining a smile as he stared up at the night sky. “It’s pretty fucking lame.”

“Lamer than Edwise Gamgee??”

That made Eddie giggle again. “No, I guess not.”

They sat in silence a moment, Steve patiently waiting, and Eddie gathering courage.

“It’s just Eddie.”

Steve turned to look at Eddie’s profile. He was beautiful in the cool near-darkness, the moon hitting his face at just the right angle to sharpen his features.

“Just Eddie?”

Eddie nodded. “Just Eddie. Nothing special or interesting or exciting. It’s just plain, boring old Eddie.”

Steve blinked.

Steve blinked again.

And before Steve knew it, he was taking Eddie’s hand in his own.

Eddie’s breath caught and he continued to look up at the sky, too afraid to meet Steve’s eyes.

“Eddie. I hate to break this to you, but I am pretty sure you are physically incapable of being boring.”

Eddie snickered and stopped himself.

“I mean it. You might be the craziest person I’ve ever met. You refuse to fit in to a box you’ve outgrown. You’re too goddamn stubborn to do what people expect of you. You stand up for yourself and people who need you. You’re kind and gentle with the people you love.”

Steve took Eddie’s cheek with the hand not holding his and turned Eddie to face him. “You are the most exciting, interesting, and special person I’ve ever met.”

And with that, Eddie had heard enough.

Eddie kissed Steve.

And Eddie did not stop kissing Steve until he was bent over him, knees straddling his waist and hands in his hair.

Steve gripped Eddie’s hips and pushed him back, pausing to catch his breath. Eddie panted above him and laughed down at him, his lips reddened and his eyes blown wide. He looked absolutely insane. Absolutely gorgeous.

“Hey Eds?”

“Yeah, Steve?”

“You never asked me what Steve was short for.”

Eddie’s eyes narrowed. “What is Steve short for?”

Steve panted a light laugh. “It’s just Steve.”

Eddie paused.

And Eddie laughed.

And Eddie couldn’t stop laughing for a very long time.

—

The next year, Eddie signed a Valentine card “To: Just Steve.” and “Love: Just Eddie.”

—

That winter, Steve arranged restaurant reservations under the name of “Just Eddie”

—

The following summer, Eddie got down on one knee and asked “Just Steve” to marry him, and when Steve asked “What about the law?” Eddie said “it’s Just the law.”

—

The spring after, Steve read his vows in front of his entire chosen family. His voice faltered as he said “You’re Just Eddie the way the sun is Just a star. The way the moon is Just a rock. The way the earth is Just a planet. You are my home. You are where I belong.”

Three years after Steve carried Eddie out of the Upside Down, Eddie carried Steve across the threshold of their tiny apartment in Indianapolis.

[skz-sage]

skz reaction to sage excusing herself/getting emotional during an interview [hyung line]

tw // child abuse, ed, mental health & drugs mentioned

bang chan

it was an interview just with the two of them and the questions being asked were more deep and specific then the regular questions they normally get. the interviewer asked her the question she was hoping she’d never get in her career.

“what was your childhood like?”.

chan’s eyes darted at sage with worry, knowing how she feels on the topic. sage wasn’t open about how she came up. she dreaded talking about it. for her fans though? anything. “oh… wow. um, well, … yknow i grew up in new york. it was always me, my mom and my little sister. it was… it was.. tough.”

trying to keep her composure, but the quivering in her voice was evident. sage did her best to say the right things, keeping a calm tone and holding onto chan’s hand for dear life. she ended with this. “no kid deserves to be abused. they deserve to be nurtured and cared for like they’re porcelain. things will get better. they will.” nodding and looking over at the interviewer and chris.

“yeah and we’re all so proud and happy that sage made it this far. we love her to death.” chan added, wiping her tears with his own jacket sleeve.

thank god the universe sent sage someone like chris. at her worst, he’s always there and that’s something she could never live without.

lee know

at this time, there were rumors going around that sage was on drugs during their trainee days, judging by how thin and sickly she looked some of the time.

of course the rumors weren’t true, but it was something she was avoiding. it really caught up to her today

“so sage, recently news have been going around that you are on drugs. is this true.”

“yeah, no, no, no, she’s not answering this, shut the camera off.” minho stood up, the other members stunned that the interviewer would ask such a question.

“ it’s fine, it’s fine! i’ll answer. ” sage assured, telling minho to let it go and sit back down. it took a minute, but minho sat back down, shaking his head in disapproval.

“of course, these nasty rumors aren’t true. i would like to go a different way about it, but… i wasn’t eating much during those days. i was focused on making it as apart of the group and giving it all i got so much that i threw away my health. it was.. a very awful time for me.” the cameras zoomed in on her as tears prickled out her eyes

once minho saw those tears, he shut it down. “okay, no more, no more! shut off the damn camera, no more questions at all. it’s clear she doesn’t want to talk about it!” the other members around her trying to console her as minho tries to shut down the rest of the interview.

let someone fuck with sage like that just to get a reaction out of her and minho is at their door with a chainsaw and a plan.

changbin

this interviewer just didn’t like sage for some odd reason. a girl in a boy group? come on, that just didn’t go together. she’s probably just some pick me girl. she can’t even sing! those boys don’t deserve this loser tomboy. these were all the thoughts of the interviewer

“so sage…. why are you in this group?”

sage gave an awkward smile, the members around her sharing looks and such. “i’m sorry, what do you mean?” sage replied, obviously confused

“i mean.. you’re a girl! in a boy group!” she exclaimed. sexism does not look good on her.

“and…?” sage sat up in her chair, changbin sitting right next to her and sitting up with her. if sage is gonna stand on business, binnie is too.

“i’m sorry, but… i just don’t get it. you’re more fit for.. i don’t know.. maybe a bubblegum pink pop girl group, yeah?” the interviewer smiled, enraging sage on the inside.

“ no, i’m sorry. i’m leaving.” sage calmly removed her mic, sliding off the chair and leaving the studio. changbin, of course, follows after her.

changbin catches up, giving her a huge hug. after a hard day, all she could ever need is to be engulfed in his big, teddy bear arms

“hey, don’t listen to her. she doesn’t know anything. you’ve come a long away and proved to everyone that you deserve your place in the group. people like her don’t get very far.” sage could only nod, her head running wild with thoughts. maybe a hiatus would due her some good.

hyunjin

sage’s mental health was never the best. she hated to admit it, but she isn’t perfect. for stay, she wished she could be the most perfect idol in the world. that just wasn’t possible. it eats at her day and night too.

“i want to ask, sage, how do you tackle mental health. you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”

sage’s palms got clammy as her face got a little pale. “no worries, i can answer. wow, let’s see… i want to be honest.. i don’t really, exactly tackle it. unfortunately, i just let it run wild in my head. i hope some time in the future i can overcome this, but… yeah.” she nodded

“great thank you, and now-” the interviewer continued as sage tried her best to sneak off from the set, turning off her microphone. hyunjin immediately went after her. the members turning to each other and the interviewer confused.

sage was found in the dressing rooms, crying by hyunjin.

“miju! oh my god, are you okay?” he immediately, but delicately held her. “ i’m fine, it’s just.. i-i don’t know, i think i got nervous o-or scared, i didn’t want to cry in front of the cameras, i just couldn’t do it.”

“i know, i know. it’s okay. i’m here.” she cried, holding hyunjin close to her.

“you’ll always be okay, i’ll make sure of it.”

[andiwriteordie]

mike has an asthma attack! will is there! you have free reign BUT mike must be wearing glasses bc he does not have working lungs OR eyes. ❤️

LISTEN EVERYONE. ASTHMATIC MIKE WHEELER WITH GLASSES IS SO REAL TO ME. THANK YOU FOR INDULGING THIS HEADCANON THEA. ILY.

say hi to mike wheeler being a nerdy little loser in love in this little modern college au!

—

so in love that i might stop breathing 

This was a bad idea.

No like… seriously, this was a bad idea, and Mike can practically hear the sound of his roommates’ laughter in the back of his mind. God, Max and Dustin are never going to let him live this down, are they? No, they’re definitely not, because they’re both a couple of jackasses who thrive off of making Mike’s life miserable. Every day, he asks himself why the hell he’s still best friends with them.

… 

Whatever. In this case, they were most definitely right, even though Mike insisted that they would not be.

And that is exactly why Mike Wheeler is currently jogging at his local park and trying not to… oh, you know… die and stuff.

There are a lot of things going wrong, and suddenly, Mike is reminded of why he nearly failed high school a few years ago, despite having pretty decent grades. Fucking gym class was nearly the death of him—like… actually. Yeah, tenth grade Mike had to run the mile and (very stupidly) forgot his inhaler in his locker on the other side of the building. He may or may not have had an asthma attack out on the field. Max may or may not have yelled at a lot of people while Dustin sprinted to grab Mike’s inhaler.

… 

They’re not here to bail him out this time, so that’s rather unfortunate. But hey, Mike does have his rescue inhaler this time—not that it’ll do much good, since he’s already taken it and technically shouldn’t take it again for another couple hours, according to the instructions. And honestly, that sucks because Mike has been running for the last fifteen minutes, and his chest feels all tight and itchy and gross. 

Not only that, but Mike is fucking sweating. It’s nearly the end of September, and they live in fucking Chicago, so why is it nearly 80 degrees outside? Climate change is fucking real, and it’s going to be the death of him. His face is all sweaty and disgusting, and his glasses are most definitely fogged up and about to fall off his damn face. It’s great. Really, really great.

And of course—of fucking course—the cherry on top of the cake is that he is here.

Yeah.

The most gorgeous guy Mike has ever seen in his life is here at the park, like he always is and like Mike expected him to be. He’s running laps like normal and wearing those stupid short shorts that Mike knows the track guys at school wear, and Jesus, Mike is so gay. He’s so fucking gay, and honest to God, he’s going to get distracted and trip over his fucking shoelaces because this guy is just so gorgeous. 

And Mike doesn’t know what the hell he was thinking, honestly. He’d just gotten some stupid idea last night when he was a little tipsy and had decided that the best way to get the attention of Gorgeous Runner Guy was to, in fact, become a Gorgeous Runner Guy himself. 

…

It’s not working.

Yeah, there’s no way in hell that Mike looks like a Gorgeous Runner Guy, because he’s over here gasping for air, struggling to finish the lap around the track, and sweating like he’s a prepubescent boy. Definitely not the best way to catch the attention of the gorgeous guy he’s been trying to work up the courage to talk to for the past month, so Mike thinks it’s probably just time to cut his losses and go sit down before he actually collapses on the ground and has an asthma attack or something.

(Dear God, imagine if he actually stopped breathing or some shit like that and Gorgeous Runner Guy had to give him mouth-to-mouth. Mike thinks he’d rather just die at that point.)

Once Mike finally makes it around the track, he walks over to the nearby bench, fighting the urge to just completely collapse onto it. His legs feel like jelly, and the water bottle Max had insisted he take this morning is already empty. His chest still feels all tight, and his pride definitely feels wounded. The walk of shame into his apartment is not going to be a fun ordeal, so as Mike sits down on the bench, he closes his eyes and tries to think through his roommates’ schedule.

Okay, so Dustin definitely has class today, so he shouldn’t be there. That’s good. Max should be going to work soon, so if Mike can hold out a little bit longer, he should be able to avoid her too. In the end, their teasing is inevitable, but Mike would really prefer to keep some of his dignity in tact and not let his best friends see him like this—

“Um, excuse me?”

Mike flinches sharply, and he opens his eyes, and hoooooly shit, holy shit, holy shit.

It’s Gorgeous Runner Guy.

Gorgeous Runner Guy smiles shyly, and he glances at the empty space on the bench next to Mike. “Um… do you mind if I sit with you?” he asks, a little bit breathless. “I, um… I just wanted to take a break, you know?”

Yes, yes, yes, and while you’re at it, do you want to marry me? the literally fucking insane part of Mike’s mind answers.

Mike, fortunately, does not say that aloud. Instead, he just nods hastily and scoots over, patting the bench. “Y-yeah,” he says breathlessly. “Of course.”

Gorgeous Runner Guy flashes another smile at him, and he takes a seat next to Mike. He’s close enough now that Mike can feel his warmth—or honestly, that must just be the stupid, fucking 80 degree weather. It could also be the fact that Mike is sweating. A lot.

“I’m Will, by the way,” Gorgeous Runner Guy introduces, turning to Mike and smiling, and God, did Mike mention how gorgeous he is? Because he is. He’s gorgeous. 

Oh. And his name is Will.

Will’s gorgeous.

“I… I’m gorgeous,” Mike says, and as soon as the words are out of his mouth, he catches the slip up. “Shit, no, that’s not what I meant! I mean, you… you’re gorgeous.. Wait, shit, I didn’t mean to say that either; um, shit, sorry. I’m… I’m Mike.”

(Once again, Mike can practically hear Max and Dustin laughing at him. And once again, he definitely deserves it.)

A surprised look forms on Will’s face, and his cheeks get a little bit rosier. He glances away for a moment, then looks back at Mike and shrugs. “I mean… you are,” he points out, a flirty smile forming on his face, and oh.

Oh.

Warmth rises to Mike’s cheeks, and he stares back at Gorgeous Runner Guy—er, Will—in surprise. “You… you’re joking right?” he asks in disbelief. 

Will just laughs, soft and sweet. “I’m not joking unless you are,” he says, a bit shyer now. “Are you joking?”

“No, no,” Mike reassures quickly. “I… I didn’t mean to say that actually, but… but I meant it.”

He pauses, wincing slightly. “Sorry,” Mike adds. “This is so not what I had in mind when I imagined talking to you for the first time.”

“It’s cool,” Will promises with another little laugh. His eyes crinkle a bit when he smiles, and he shrugs. “Maybe we should just… start over then?”

“Maybe,” Mike says, and as the two of them exchange a smile, he turns to fully face Will now. 

“Hi,” Mike introduces softly, holding out his hand for Will to take. “I’m Mike.”

The look on Will’s face softens, and he takes Mike’s hand. His touch is electric, and Mike’s breath catches—no surprise there. Something about Will has always taken his breath away.

“I’m Will,” Will replies, his voice just as soft. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

[raccoonfallsharder]

The Very Boring Adventures of

Space Pilot & Sweatshirt Girl ✩°｡⋆

Domestic Scenes in Space Travel ✩ Installment One (excerpt & rating key behind the cut)

18+ only MDNI | no use of y/n | f!reader | 5/5 visits | complete | word count: 37,783.

In Rocket Raccoon: Grounded (2016) / Issue #3, Rocket asks a stranger on the ferry to "make sure nobody does anything weird" to him while he naps, and the stranger just, like, abandons him while he's sleeping?? who does that? when a stranger asks you to watch their stuff in a coffee shop, it's a holy obligation. x100 if it's a hot local space pilot trying to catch some Zs on the ferry. get in loser we're gonna fix it

reader x rocket domestic fluff & smut with feelings. comics-based but you don't need any comics background knowledge to ride this ride. excerpt below the cut.

Chapter One (The First Visit). rocket evades SHIELD by hiding in your purse. ✩ Chapter Two (The Second Visit). you and rocket eat omelettes in your underwear. ✩ Chapter Three (The Third Visit). rocket finds you naked & takes care of your cat. ✩ Chapter Four (The Fourth Visit). rocket teaches you about his tail. ❤︎‬❤︎ Chapter Five (The Fifth Visit). rocket stops by for a visit. ❤︎‬❤︎

WARNINGS: feelings & domestica. smut commences in the fourth visit. dirty talk, praise, use of "slut"/"whore" (affectionate), a little bit of oral.

✩ Domestic Scenes in Space Travel Masterlist ✩ Fuckin adorable sweatshirt girl art by @blueberrysquire ✩ forward one installment | return to main masterlist

That’s when you hear the screech from the hallway.

“Oh! Call Animal Control! Oh! It has rabies!”

“It is even still alive?”

“I heard it growl!”

Later, you won’t be able to say how you know.  There have been countless chaotic squirrels in the building before, and the occasional massive rat off the streets, though you suspect they all have much better reasons to be afraid of humans than vice versa. 

But you do know. Maybe it’s Mr Hobbes’ weird behavior or maybe it’s something more cosmic than that, but you know, and you grab your key off the hook and step into the corridor, still in just your bikini-briefs and a sweatshirt that almost goes to your knees.

Your gaze finds him unerringly: passed out, possibly injured, wedged in the doorway at the top of the stairwell with the heavy fire-door propped open on his ribs. 

“Uhhh,” you interrupt, pushing past your neighbors. “Sorry. Sorry. He’s my - “ you pause, thoughts colliding with each other “ - my friend.”

“Your friend?” says Josh From Down the Hall. He’s been bugging you to go out to dinner and drinks for months. “What is he, some kind of miniature furry?”

You roll your eyes and pull open the door, propping it with a hip while you try to hoist Rocket into your arms. Unfortunately, he weighs even more now - probably due to the heavy artillery on his back and at his hips, all of which makes him very awkward to carry. Geezus, one of these guns alone has to be at least as much as his body weight.  “He’s not a - “

“He must be your new cat,” says Brenda From Next Door, her voice a little doubtful. Brenda is harmless enough, though she can be annoying. “I hear millennials like to talk about their pets like they’re actual people.”

There’s way too much to unpack there and fuck. He weighs a ton. Your arms are shaking as you stagger past them. “He’s not - “

“He’s not a cat, Brenda,” Josh says rudely. “Didn’t you hear her? He’s her shrimpy, perverted boyfriend. Wasted in the friggin’ stairwell.”

You sigh. “Josh, this is why no-one wants to date you.” 

“You fuckin’ bitch - “

“Brenda, can you help me with the door?”

The older woman rushes to turn your doorknob and pushes it open for you, while also trying to stay as far away as she can from the Space Pilot in your arms. 

“Did something happen to Mr Hobbes then, dear? Is that why you got a new cat?”

Geezus. No wonder Rocket had been so exhausted of hearing people’s bullshit last time. It’s been five minutes and you’d cheerfully throttle both your neighbors. And you like to think you like people.

“Nope. He’s still alive and kickin’. Thanks, Brenda.”

You lean against the door when it closes behind you, shuffling the weight in your arms so you can slide the deadbolt and chain lock. By the time you get Rocket to the bedroom, you’re panting. Maybe the loveseat would have been the closer, better option, but you’re pretty scared you’re going to need to be able to access him from all sides. 

You rest him on the bed. Mr Hobbes is pacing in the doorway while you wipe the sweat from your brow and then tie up your hair with the elastic around your wrist. The cat meows pitifully.

“He’s gonna be okay, Hobbsie,” you mumble, looking down at your prodigal houseguest. He’s wearing some sort of jumpsuit with blood splashing up one side, but it’s hard to discern much thanks to the plethora of firearms he’s sporting. Carefully, you pick over the range of buckles and snaps and magnets holding his holsters in place. Some just look like grips, but have the weight of something much larger. You don’t know the first thing about guns, really, but you have a feeling that most of Rocket's don’t exactly have a safety.

Cautiously, you undo what you can, lifting each weapon with slow deliberation, keeping every barrel pointed away from you, from your wounded guest, and from Mr Hobbes. Probably these things can blow through sheetrock even better than regular bullets, so you lay them on the floor by the exterior wall, lined up neatly with the barrels pointed toward the brick.  

Then you’re unstrapping the harnesses, holsters, and straps of his jumpsuit. It’s been burnt in some places, torn and bloodied.

“Sorry, Space Pilot,” you say under your breath. “When you wake up, just remember that it’s not the first time I’ve seen you in your underwear.” 

read more on ao3 ✩°｡⋆

some explicit statements or references ✩ explicit scenes or fantasy sequences ❤︎‬ long, detailed, and graphic explicit content ❤︎‬❤︎‬ deliberately smut-free, mostly or entirely platonic ✮

[supermarine-silvally]

💜 Yara

Thank you very much for the prompt, dear Anon!! <3 I hope you enjoy it!

💜 surprise kiss / impulsive kiss

This fucking Marine would not leave her alone. 

“And so there I was, surrounded by forty of the nastiest, ugliest pirates in all of the South Blue! They were pointing their weapons at me, creeping closer and yelling curses far too crude to repeat in front of a lady. Bunch of disgusting savages.” The man took a swig of alcohol, pounding his mug against the counter.

Yara’s teeth gritted, staring down at the bottom of her glass as if it had gold in it. If it wasn’t for this ridiculously overpriced beverage-- some kind of pomegranate-flavoured thing that didn’t taste half as good as it looked on the menu board-- she would’ve been out of this shithole bar ages ago. 

It was the first day that the Moby Dick had made shore in almost a month, and she had somehow managed to spend far too long of it stuck next to this loser who had just spent the last hour bragging about his impending promotion to Captain of the 453rd Branch or whatever. The shit-eating smirk on his face told her that women were usually fawning over him by this point, and the fact that she wasn’t apparently meant that she needed a little more persuading. 

The Marine leaned closer to her, his breath reeking of cheap liquor. “So you know what I did next?”

“I couldn’t care le--”

“I grabbed hold of the steering wheel and swung the ship around! The bastards were so surprised, they didn’t even have time to grab hold of anything, so they all ended up tumbling into the ocean!!” He roared with laughter. “Can you believe that? See, the thing about pirates is that they’re all so hopelessly stupid.”

“Are they now?” Yara said flatly. She was increasingly tempted to push the edge of her dress back, fully revealing the tattoo that adorned her left leg. The only reason why she hadn’t so far was because she was loath to make the man think she was trying to entice him. 

“You better believe it, sweetcheeks.” He winked. “And if you want my opinion, Gold Roger was the stupidest one of all. Some ‘King of the Pirates’ he was. I heard there wasn’t even much of a fight to bring the brute down.” Swallowing another gulp of his beverage, he turned to face her. “Now, enough about me. What’s a pretty little gal like you doing all alone in this part of town?”

“Who said she was alone?” a familiar voice spoke from behind them. 

Yara’s heart leapt, a small smile creeping onto her lips as she finally glanced up from her half-empty glass. 

Ace flashed the both of them one of his usual cocky grins before draping an arm over Yara’s shoulders. “There you are. I was looking everywhere for you.”

The Marine’s expression soured. He shuffled closer to Yara, his tone dropping. “What do you say we get out of here? A man of my rank can get a room at any hotel you fancy.”

Ace tsked. “Whispering isn’t polite, y’know. And there’s a big problem with your plan.”

“Oh? And what’s that?”

A devilish grin spread across the young pirate’s face. He withdrew his arm and reached forwards, fingers brushing gently under Yara’s jaw as he tilted her chin up ever so slightly. “She’s mine.” 

Without a moment’s hesitation, he leaned in, his lips colliding with hers. Yara’s eyes widened, surprised by the sudden burst of affection, but they quickly fluttered shut. Ace’s hands had found her waist, pulling her in closer, the taste of pomegranate lingering between them as he deepened the kiss. Finally, he pulled away with a gentle nip to her bottom lip, leaving her breathless. Keeping one arm wrapped firmly around her midsection, he shot the Marine the most satisfied smirk Yara had ever seen.

The man’s lip curled as he slid off the bar stool and took a step towards Ace, trying to look menacing. “Oh, yeah? Who do you think you--” He stopped, his eyes landing on the ASCE tattoo on Ace’s arm. All the colour instantly drained from his face. “W-Wait a minute… I know you… You’re… You’re Fire Fist!!”

Ace tipped his hat at him. “That I am. Pleasure to meet ya.”

“But… that means…” His gaze slowly shifted over to Yara, finally noticing the tattoo poking out from under the hem of her dress. He gulped. “H-Hellcat Yara… It’s-- It’s the Whitebeard Pirates!!”

“And you say we’re the stupid ones,” Yara said disdainfully, watching as the man’s shaking hand reached for the sword strapped to his belt. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

His hand stilled for a second before grabbing the sword and whipping it out. “I’ll… I’ll capture you both! You have a combined bounty of almost one billion Berry, right?! I’ll be rich-- and a hero!!”

Ace and Yara looked at each other, then back at the quivering Marine. Yara let out a sigh, lifting up her glass.

Thunk!!

Before the man could move, she brought it down over his head. He slumped over, his sword clattering to the ground. The rest of the pomegranate-flavoured beverage splashed from the glass, dripping down his blank face.

“Wow.” Ace looked impressed. “That’s one way to solve it.”

Yara shrugged. “I’ve been wanting to do that for over an hour now. Besides, his flirting game sucked anyways.” She placed the glass down on the bar’s counter, sliding it over to the bartender who had apparently seen enough brawls to be completely unbothered by the situation. 

Side by side, the two young pirates left the bar, stepping out onto the sunny street. 

Ace’s stomach growled as they walked, making him chuckle. “All that excitement and I’m completely famished. Now whaddaya say I take you out for dinner? My treat.”

She laughed. “You say ‘treat’ as if you haven’t skipped the bill on every single date you’ve ever taken me on.” 

“That’s true,” he conceded, grinning sheepishly.

 Yara looped her arm around his, twining their fingers together. “I would love dinner. And to spend time with you as long as you’ll have me.”

Ace pretended to ponder it. “Well, if that’s the case, then… How about forever?”

Smiling, she leaned down and pressed a kiss against the crossed-out ‘S’ of his tattoo. “Forever sounds nice.”

tagging: @auxiliarydetective @oneirataxia-girl @daughter-of-melpomene

[yakumtsaki]

Hello dear readers, guess who has a 3 day weekend! 

-𝙽𝙾 𝙾𝙽𝙴 𝙲𝙰𝚁𝙴𝚂 𝙰𝙱𝙾𝚄𝚃 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝟹 𝙳𝙰𝚈 𝚆𝙴𝙴𝙺𝙴𝙽𝙳! 𝙲𝚈𝙽𝙴𝚂𝚆𝙸𝚃𝙷 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝚂𝙰𝙸𝙳 𝚈𝙾𝚄'𝙳 𝙽𝙴𝚅𝙴𝚁 𝚃𝙾𝚄𝙲𝙷 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙷𝚄𝚂𝙱𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝙰𝙶𝙰𝙸𝙽! -I meant that metaphorically!🌸 -𝙳𝙾𝙴𝚂 𝙽𝙾𝚃 𝙲𝙾𝙼𝙿𝚄𝚃𝙴!

Oh wow so no greetings or anything, just straight to it after a month?

-Oh, you bet! I HATE YOU, BARFOLOMEW -GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME, FAILINA

WHAT. WHY ARE YOU CLONE FREAKS FIGHTING

-THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE RECESSIVE-GENED KID AROUND HERE AND IT IS I! -THE HELL IT IS!

What??? What even is this interaction, I’ve never had kids do this before????

-IT’S THE TORMENT INTERACTION AND BARFOLOMEW’S EXISTENCE IS TORMENTING ME. HE’S NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE HERE, HE WAS AN ACCIDENT!!! -LOOK AT YOUR EAXIS HAIR BEFORE YOU TALK OF ACCIDENTS, FLOPINA!!!!

But you got along as toddlers!

-WELL NOW WE KNOW BETTER

Uh, any adults here feel like intervening in this bloodbath downstairs?

-Sorry, we were into them while they were cute babies, once they hit age 6 they’re on their own. -But we’re more than happy to have another one, if only someone would turn autonomous try-for-baby back on!

Ya absolutely not. Sandy?

-̵B̷U̸S̵Y, T̷H̶I̵S ̴I̶S D̵E̴F̷IN̷IT̸E̴L̷Y T̸H̷E C̸E̷N̵T̶U̵R̸Y W̵H̶E̵R̷E I̸ F̷I̵N̵A̵L̶L̴Y G̵E̷T ̵P̸R̷O̷M̶O̶T̵E̶D🧟‍♀️

Sure you are. Sugar??

-All by myself.. Don’t wanna be all by myself, anymooooreeeee...🎵

YOU CHEATED ON BOTH YOUR WIVES.

-And I’m ready for a third!

God, I already miss having Jojo around to berate you.

Shajar I don’t even know why I’m bothering to address you for this, but could you talk to your grandkids? 

-AHAHAHAHA

Ya I figured.

OH THANK GOD

-As usual Sophie Fucking Miguel has stepped in to save the day. Grandma just said a bad word, Felina, you shouldn’t repeat that.  -I FUCKING HATE BARFOLOMEW 

Well Sophie is still the best we have, love you babe.

And SUGAR also steps up. The fact you ruined your family only to be the best uncle ever is just.

-Don’t worry buddy, we’ll build up your arm strength and you’ll be beating up Felina in no time!

Look at Kitana beating up Shinok, just like Dobronega beat her up, what a rite of passage🧡

-YOU’RE GOING DOWN, SONNY BOY. IT’S THE CIRCLE OF LIFE

I feel like you have your circles mixed up, Kitana, but what do I know.

We end the night with the reignition of the Don/Sandy feud which began and continues for no discernible reason. 

-D̴O̴N̷'̷T T̶H̷I̵N̶K J̵U̴S̷T ̷B̴E̸C̶A̸U̵S̶E I̵ D̵I̶E̵D A̴G̸A̸I̴N ̴I̵ F̷O̷R̴G̶O̵T ̸I ̵H̸A̵T̵E Y̸O̵U🧟‍♀️ -You did forget what showers are so it was a fair assumption! 

Ok let’s break it up here, that’s enough for one night..

-LOOKS LIKE IT’S A NEW DAY, SANDY!!!

-HA, GET REKT! -T̸H̷I̶S I̷S̴N̴'̸T O̶V̸E̵R, G̶E̵E̴Z̸E̴R🧟‍♀️

Two ancient carcasses beating each other up, does it get better than this?

Oh wait, it does, two ancient carcasses tripping balls. The only person in this house remotely acting their age is Sophie, and she’s gonna be buried in her teenage tracksuit.

It’s a snow day so we invite over Spice! Ok Cyn, I know this topic tends to confuse you but this is your actual grandchild.

-Sophito had another kid?💗

...Yes, yes he did. 

AWWWW

-Don’t worry buddy, we’ll build up your arm strength and you’ll be beating up Bartholomew in no time!

Sugar please stop trying to start a child fight club.

I was beginning to think Felina’s a-lot-for-us 7 nice points were fake af like Cyn’s, but she gets along great with Spice, so clearly it’s only her brother she hates!  

-Haha you’re dead, loser! -My ghost will kill you! -Yay let’s play ghosts next! -Yay!

Ok you two, let Barf- BARTHOLOMEW, goddammit Felina, play with you.

-UM HARD PASS -Ya, he’s weird!

-Who needs friends when you can swim fully dressed? 

Those recategorized outfits are not helping your rep, Barth..

..and I need you all on your best behavior because our beloved Headmaster Vince is here, he finally felt safe enough to come by again now that Victoria has been dead for 150 years!

-I thought it was time to bury the hatchet!

Clearly you thought wrong as Xander going out of his way to piss on you proves!

iVan has been having another one of his breadkowns all day, I love how he alternates between mechanic and mental ones, so the task of cooking fell.. 

..TO CYN. I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU DIDN’T BURN IT, GREAT JOB

-And you said I wasn’t a good grandma!💗

BECAUSE THESE AREN’T YOUR GRANDKIDS. Let’s just have dinner with goddamn Vince so he can fuck off.

-Let me tell you, Mr. Union, if your cousin had won the heirship instead of you I wouldn’t be back here! He was the worst student we’ve had in our thou$hand year hi$tory! And that hat!  -Stay calm, babe! 

Sophito please, put your deranged and inexplicable loyalty to Sugar aside just this once for the sake of your children.

-Have.. to... DEFEND-

NO YOU DON’T. EXCUSE YOURSELF

-I HAVE TO GO.

Good, that’s it and not a point more, gtfo Vince! No one but us gets to point out Sugar is an abomination!

Time to celebrate with some pet-graveyard-DJ-karaoke. I don’t remember if I’ve told you guys about the Sugar-Shajar friendship but it’s killing me, the way Cyn-Shaj wanna swap kids but Sophie is standing in the way lol.

Oh boy, iVan is now hitting the bar at 10 am. 

-𝙸 𝙳𝙾𝙽'𝚃 𝙷𝙰𝚅𝙴 𝙰 𝙿𝚁𝙾𝙱𝙻𝙴𝙼, 𝙸 𝙲𝙰𝙽 𝙿𝚁𝙴𝚂𝚂 𝙴𝚂𝙲 𝙰𝙽𝚈𝚃𝙸𝙼𝙴!

When I look inside the house I can’t blame you:

-YOU’RE A LOSER, FAILINA, YOU’RE A LOSER LIKE GRANDMA SHAJAR!

Uh, you’re the one with Shajar’s personality, Barth. 

-I know, that’s why I need to preemptively stick that label to Failina! 

LOL the Shajar comparison has poor Felina like 😬😬😬 

-MOM WELCOME HOME HUG HUG ETC. BARFOLOMEOW SAID I’M A LOSER LIKE GRANDMA SHAJAR, IT’S NOT TRUE RIGHT?? -Oh sweetheart, of course not! Your personality is just like your dad’s and he’s definitely not a loser! 

LOL good one, Liz!

-Ok Barth, that one broke my jaw, let’s calm down, buddy.. -Oops! >:D

June and Lakshmi’s bebe Bleu is here again and she got the neverending flu from us that she’s now gonna spread to all the spare households! Amazing job, Bleu! 

-Grandma, Barfolomeow said I’m a loser like you! You’re not a loser, right? -What nonsense, would a loser be Mayor by age 24 running unopposed in a town populated only by her close relatives?? Now run along, you little pest, I need to get high!!! 

-THIS IS IT, BARFOLOMEW, ME AND YOU, RIGHT NOW.  -WHAT? -YOU MADE ME COMPARE MYSELF TO GRANDMA SHAJAR, YOU’RE GOING DOWN -BUT MY TRAINING IS NOT COMPLETE -I DON’T CARE, PUT ‘EM UP

Our first child fight! What a proud moment for this family, not even Shaj and Cyn beat each other up.

-Oh no, iVan, how could this have happened?? 10 bucks on Felina, that boy has noodle arms. -𝙸'𝙻𝙻 𝚃𝙰𝙺𝙴 𝚃𝙷𝙰𝚃 𝙰𝙲𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽.

Drinking, homewrecking, betting on child fights, you really are a huge help around this house, iVan.

This is the longest fight ever, WILL YOU TWO KNOCK IT OFF

-NO. THE CROWN IS MINE

What, Felina’s little plastic crown? Just take it who cares??

-THE HEIRSHIP CROWN

WHO CARES ABOUT THAT EITHER, YOU TWO LOOK IDENTICAL

-I AM VICTORIOUS

YA NO WE’RE ALL LOSERS HERE. ENEMIES?? HOLY HELL, KIDS

And now it’s time for the I-lost-the-fight whining. Cut it out, Felina, if you didn’t wanna lose maybe you should have trained before attacking.

-That’s a terrible message! 

Trust me, it’s the most compassionate one you’re gonna get around here.

-WAAAAH SANDY I LOST MY BIG FIGHT

-T̷E̴L̷L I̷T T̴O ̴S̷O̸M̷E̶O̶N̴E W̶H̶O̵ C̶A̶R̷E̴S̵, B̷R̴A̷T̵, I̵ H̴A̷V̵E P̵E̴T B̴E̴D̷S̵ T̷O̴ C̵L̷E̷A̷N. U̸S̷E̷L̶E̵S̷S-A̸S̶S̵ i̷V̷A̶N I̶S̷T̸G̵🧟‍♀️

The clones return from school the next day and both get A+s!

-YES I’M THE BEST!

-AND I’M THE BESTEST!

Ya ok whatever, now that you’re both happy why don’t we sit in our ‘beautiful’ living room and talk this out?

-Listen, Failina.. -Ugh, I’m so great it’s practically insane. -FAILINA.  -I’M NOT RESPONDING TO THAT NAME, BARF -WELL YOU SHOULD, IT SUITS YOU BETTER 

-I’M THIS CLOSE, BARF. THIS CLOSE -JUST TRY ME

Ok then, let’s stop sitting in our living room and go as far away from each other as possible.

Don has like 2 days left on this earth (💔) and apparently he’s gonna spend them beating up Sandy.

-Get back in there and bring home the gold!🌸

WHAT GOLD

Look how ecstatic he is, normally I stop those multiple fights but I’m gonna give him this last treat, but man it’s not even a fight, he has 10 body points to Sandy’s 0.

-I LOVE BEATING UP THE WEAK AND DEFENSLESS 

I’ll miss you, Don🖤

Boy, everyone is enraged tonight. 

-I’M SO PISSED ABOUT MY BED

-I’M SO PISSED ABOUT FAILINA

-̴I̷'̷M̶ S̸O P̴I̵S̵S̵E̸D A̴T̸ W̵H̴AT̶EV̵E̸R̸ T̷H̶E H̷E̶L̸L̷ I̶T ̸I̵S T̶H̸I̵S D̵O̸N S̴P̸A̴W̵N I̵S D̷O̵I̴N̶G🧟‍♀️

Ya that’s actually a valid complaint, Sugar wtf are you doing.

-I never noticed how much this weight gain suits you, Sands! Wowza!

GROSS. LEAVE SANDY ALONE. I CAN’T EVEN LOOK AT THIS, MOVING ON

It’s Don’s last day so he and Cyn spend some quality time making passionate geriatric love and hearfarting over each other in perfect synchronicity-

-and it’s time to say goodbye to our Donnie.

-DON OATES, YOUR TIME HAS COME💀 -Man, I love your outfit! Can I get one like this?  -NO, IT’S CUSTOM CHANEL💀 -UGH -DAD NO -I’m pissed too, Sug, ‘custom Chanel’ my ass!

-COME ALONG NOW💀 -Goodbye Moonflower et al!🖤 -Hang on Donnie, I’m coming! I’m coming!!🌸 -I’ll miss hearing you say that!🖤

And with this final ‘EW’, our beloved Donaldo leaves us. Rest in peace, Don, you were the most loving and tolerant legacy spouse of all time. I’ll miss your iconic style, your bloodlust, and your complete indifference to anyone who wasn’t Cyn❤️

Poor Sugar is devastated-

-and I’d be too if I saw this will. OVER

-It’s ok, I know just how to deal with my grief and inheritance bitterness!  -L̵E̶T̶'S̴ A̷C̷R I̴T,B̴A̸B̴Y🧟‍♀️

NO WAY. YOU’RE NOT EVEN FRIENDS. WHAT

-Can we get some privacy please? -Y̶A, I̷T̶'̸S̵ A̴B̷O̴U̷T T̶O̴ G̴E̵T ̴N̶A̴S̵T̴Y🧟‍♀️

HE ZOMBIFIED YOU TO BE HIS NEW MOMMY AND THEN KILLED YOU 20 YEARS LATER, HOW MUCH NASTIER CAN IT GET

-Do you wanna be around to find out?

NO I DO NOT. GOODBYE

[stairzzzz]

Venti x angel!reader

idk how tf to write a proper fanfic and i’m like really tired so idk i just wanna share my idea/brain dump for a fic LMAO fic below image :3

picture this, like user is initially like rahh i hate these darn archons gods i’m gonna be the next god cause these darndid losers think they’re so cool i’m gonna kill the anemo one rahh and like upon seeing him users like omg actually he’s kinda.. no i gotta kill him! ohh but… runs away from the situation and hides away in the forests and cries through internal conflicts and turmoil cause user is like a piss baby or smth

and then venti “accidentally” finds user and is like dear angel why do you weep? and user is like aggressive at first but venti sees that user genuinely won’t do much to him- past some mean words ig and like he gently talks with user and makes them open up and then users like, tbh i am lost celestia, sent me down and yet i have no guidance, i should believe in celestia heavenly principals rahh yet i don’t.. i feel like shit blah blah trauma


and ventis like, yo, let’s go drink our worries away, the wine in mond is like totally epic. like they slowly fall inlove but user meanwhile is like grr i wanna kill him.. oh but like one more hangout… rahh but he’s so lame… i’m lying to myself.. no i’m not!! yes i am…

and eventually venti saves user from an attack or smth and like users like ohmahgah i owe you my life blah blah and ventis like oh, no dw bro it’s the land of the free don’t be pressured and users like stfu i worship you now cause you’re so cool and epic i do this from my own free will

time serving and shii. user protects mondstadt like an honorary wind? direct warrior angel thing for venti? shit hits the fan and venti does his 500 year nap?? LMAO and user like goes to zhongli for friendship for 500 years as like a mini side plot relevance thing cause users like still kinda like humans are mid lowkey the heavenly principles celestia whatever the fuck made a mistake with them LMAO they die so fast they’re so delicate they’re so lame And UGLY and STINKY lmao whatever have it

And like so far venti and user has had a fair few intimate moments throughout their interactions and it’s like implied but it’s still mostly platonic and like close close close besties homies typa thing?? (users kinda stupid piss baby so they’re like yo wtf is this feeling? oh it’s just my love and worship for jesus barbatos)

venti wakes up and comes back and users like emeerger i sense a change in the wind- where is he?? where is my beloved i mean where is my god? cue them searching mond and finally seeing venti and like user runs into his arms and is like omg barbatos!! i knew the wind had returned and ventis like oh my dear user you sure have missed me LMAO

emotion relief slightly and venti is like and i go by ventii as my human disguise lololol and user is like oh should i have a human disguise as well?? lmao??? and like he’s like ahh nahh.. maybe actually if you gonna hang round me like this LMAO

they have a catch up, user trauma dumps like i thought i’d be forever lost again- i wanted to die yadda yadda whatever yunno. they have a vulnerable moment and they finnally kiss like

user is yapping like oh barbatos ive loved you since we had our first drink even though i was lowkey murderous LMAOAHA and ventis like ily too since our second and like yeah but you couldn’t ever harm me cause you’re stinky like that HAHAHHA. yunno? like a fell first fell harder thing. they kiss again more cheesy romance yadda yadda fluff

then say gex

i hope you liked my brain dump HHAHAH I KNOW ITS BAD 💀💀💀

[icetobes]

a rollercoaster of fucking emotions

911 thoughts s7 e5

- HAND MAN

- alien hand ?? lmao

- hen and her knowlate 🫶🏻

- lmao pleasee they’re struggling so much lmao

- oh bucks being choked

- bobby 🫶🏻

- oh eddie… um

- HES CHOKING BUCK AGAIN ??? oh dear

- kinda funny… those poor guys

- HENREN 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻 MOTHERSSSS

- THEYRE GETTING A LITTLE GIRL

- i’m so excited this is aaaa

- NO WHAT 😭😭😭

- they’re ??? not ??? getting a little girl ????

- i’m devastated they can’t do this to me i was so excited why would they do this to me

- another girl ?? a nine year old :((((

- they’re the best chance :((( aaa

- THE DATE OH MY GOD

- HERE WE GO

- they’re going to a movie 🥹🥹

- evan.

- HES SO AAA

- the 118 was a regressive place… you did that ngl but it’s okay

- “i’m not lying” BUCK BABY

- “date with a dude” 😭

- A RAINBOE ON HIS INSTA HES SO CUTE 😭😭

- “i guess it’s just me that makes you nervous” IM GONNA AAAA

- HOT CHICKS buck stop ??? help

- SHES MOVING IN ??? HELP MEEEE NOOOO

- EW I CANT

- CLOSET SPACE “right evan” IM GONNA DIE

- he’s so awkward :(((

- “it’s mine”

- “i think you’re adorable but i don’t think you’re ready” IM SOBBING NO

- BABY BUCK NO PLEASE IM SNSOSBSKSBSSI I CANT DO THIS

- aaaa henren again 🥹🫶🏻

- the blanket is the only thing she has left :((

- hen understanding non-verbal i’m going to CRY

- denny is so sweet im aaaaa

- karen getting emotional me too babe

- THE TEDDY AAAA 🥹🥹🥹

- lied to eddie…

- BUCK

- a date…

- he’s not saying it…

- OUTNOF THE WAY

- “this person” he’s so 🫶🏻

- a MARRIED WOMAN IM SO

- “who it is isn’t the point”

- “HE”

- BACK GO THE PRONOUN

- IM AN ALLY BUCK STOP

- “more than an ally”

- “didn’t think that’s where you’re interests lie” eddie diaz

- CHEKC OUT A HOT GUYS ASS

- “EDDIES FRIEND”

- he came out to maddie… kinda im shaking

- THE HOT PILOT BAOSBSOSDB

- eddie and … her… ew

- IM GONNA DIE I CANT DO THIS

- STOP THAT

- i need him to find something dumb

- THE CACTUS “you’re kinda cool” he’s a loser i love him

- A NUN ??? NO WAY SHES ACTUALLY A NUN

- SHUT THE GUCK IP THATS SO FUNNY

- HES QUESTIONING HIS WHOLE LIFE

- IMAGINING HER AS A NUN I CANT IM CRYING

- karen 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

- oh the teddy bear:(

- mara are you okay :((

- oh she’s :(( poor baby :((

- buck at the stationnn

- EDDIE IN THE GYM

- GYM SCENE GYM SCENE

- “you are here early” buck you are literally so awkward

- a avoid not having sex ??? what

- CATHOLIC GUILT OH MY GOD YOURE DAY

- “SHE WAS A NUN” “oh”

- he’s so angry about her past as a nun im crying

- not the cross help…

- GO TO CAP 😭😭😭

- “you looked like you wanted to tell me something” uh

- hen and bobby time

- talk about mara :((

- that poor baby :(

- i hope she realises she’s safe she deserves it

- oh denny :( he’s so sweet i can’t

- karen kinda side eyeing her… don’t make me dislike you :(

- her blanket is her safety net 😭🫶🏻

- “this isn’t working out” NO YOU GOTTA MAKE HER SAFE

- i need this storyline to work out good it’s got to i need this

- BOBBBY TALKING TO EDDIEEE

- second thoughts about moving in BOBBY YOU ARE GOOD

- panic attacks mention

- a commitment phobe

- SHANNON

- demisexual eddie diaz i WILL have you one day

- “only you know that” but i don’t think he does tho

- go to confession hehe

- a dog attack …

- ARE THEY COMPARING A DOG TO THEIR FOSTER GIRL ??? STOP THAT

- they’re literally comparing a dog and a child i can’t

- and they’re vets now ???

- is this twice they’ve saved a dog

- dog :D

- they asked athena 😭😭

- “are you sure” oh my god i’m gonna cry aren’t i ??

- “i don’t want to be another name in a long list of people who failed her” 😔😔😔

- THEYVE ASKED MADDIE TOO

- her little voice oh my heart is breaking

- oh my god :(( mara you poor sweet baby i hope you get the love and safety and happiness you deserve

- i’m crying i can’t do this

- “she was afraid we weren’t goig to wake up” ILL SOB

- LOFT

- LOFT

- LOFT

- “she wants to know what i want for dinner” lmao

- DO I??? stay in the loft 🤭🤭🤭

- NOT WITH GOD WATCHING LMAO

- “i’m gonna have to break up with her” omg best idea you’ve had

- “you and tommy have the best idea”

- IT WAS A DATE

- OH SHIT

- OMG

- WE WERE ON A DATE

- “really?”

- “WAIT TOMMYS GAY” IS SO FUNNY ???

- not questinging buck but tommy 😭😭😭😭

- “is that weird” “NO ABSOLUTELY NOT”

- this do in t change a thing between us

- “he dumped me”

- HE CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM :((((

- “you should call him”

- ONCE HE GETS TO KNOW YOU

- i’m so happy aaaaa

- TURN AROUND AGBTHE DOOR

- VOME HERE

- HUG

- “call tommy”

- not them exiting with a parallel lmao

- hi eddie

- “heyyyy” hes so awkward

- dinner with her brother girl-

- HES SO AWKWARD STOP YOU LOSER I LOVE HIM

- “guy who needs a minute” eddie diaz im in your fucking walls

- DONT YET HER ILL KMS

- EW

- STRAIGHT EDDIE GET OUT OF HERE PLEASE

- “can’t wait to move out” me either LMAO ME

- karen my love 🫶🏻

- the blanket slowly coming down, like a barrier coming down

- “you’re safe here even if it doesn’t feel that way yet” :(((( AAAAAAAA

- SHE SPOKE :((( baby spoke im so proud of her im not okay

- CRYING RN

- BUCK ????

- did he call tommy 🤭🤭

- omg hiiii

- coffee date aaaa

- “mmm so not like that” LMAO

- “i would like to change that” aaa

- “i didn’t want to pressure you” AAAAAAAAAAA

- “i don’t know what im ready for but i am ready for something” i can’t do this

- “COME WITH ME TO MY SISTERS WEDDING” BUCKA AOSJDODBDDIS

- “evan.”

- HOLY SHIT

- DATE TO A WEDDING

- “i need someone to dance with” HOLY SHIT

- HUH

- STOP WEDDIGN ????

- EVERYONE STOP

- OH CLIFFHANGER

- BUCK AND EDDIE WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED

- 80s THEMED PARTY

- THE WEDDING IS THE CLIFFHANGER

- WHERE CHIM???

[artzychic27]

After reading about the Science Kids demolishing the Akuma Class at dodgeball… What other sports can they dominate in?

PAINTBALL!

Marinette: Okay, everyone, I know they destroyed us at dodgeball, but this should be easy. We go to the paintball arena on Saturdays, we practice. We’ve got this in the bag.

Ivan: Uh, I don’t know. The other team seems… Intense.

Marc: What do winners do when life gives them lemons?! *hands Ismael two halves of a lemon*

Adrien: Uh... make lemonade?

Marc: No! Shut up! You’re not a part of this!

Zoé: They squeeze them right back into life's fucking eyes!

Marc: RIGHT! So, do it!

Kim: What?

Juleka: He is not-

*Without hesitation, Ismael squeezes the lemon halves, squirting lemon juice into Marc eyes*

Marc: AAAAHHH! Hahahaha! YEAH!

Akuma Class: …

Alya: I am legitimately terrified. Even Simon is getting really into this! *Points to Simon praying*

Simon: Dear, Lord… Give the the strength to smite these little punks and make them bleed the forest green paint I shall shoot them with. Amen.

Marinette: Remember, don’t be intimidated, and-

Cosette: Hey! *Slides their finger across their neck and points at Nino*

Nino: That demon is gonna be gunning for me!

Chloé: *Slaps him across the face* Don’t show fear, Lahiffe! They all can smell it on you!

*Later in the forest, the Akuma Class and Science Kids stand in position, clad in armor and equipped with paintball guns*

Aurore: Okay, people! First one to capture the flag wins. You get hit, you're out! You’re out, you walk home in shame and tell your parents you’re a loser! *Looks at the Akuma class*

Adrien: Why are you looking at us?!

Marinette: Look, if we win, then… You guys have to play team sports like normal people!

Akuma Class: Yeah!

Nathaniel: I didn’t mind the dodgeball game.

Kim: Because they went easy on you!

Jean: Oh, sure. We’ll do that… if you win... *Applies black face paint on his cheeks*

—

*Kim and Max are walking precariously through the forest until they hear paintball gunshots, quickly followed by Nino screaming. They take cover behind a tree. Kim aims down his paintball gun's sights, and sees Nino lying against a tree. He is breathing heavily through his mask*

Max: *Rushes over and inspects the paint* Magenta. This is Cosette’s work. Nino?

Nino: Please... take off the mask... *Max removes the mask and he gasps for air* Oh... thank you. Smelled like other people's faces.

Kim: What happened?

Nino: I didn't even see her... *A lavender paintball hits him square in the chest; he gasps and then pass out*

Kim: FUCK! *He pulls Max to the ground as a barrage of lavender and magenta paintballs come at them from all different directions* They’ve got us cornered! What do we do?!

Max: … We die like men, Kim. *Takes off his mask and sticks a cherry lollipop in his mouth*

Kim: Max, don’t talk like that- *Gets shot in the back by a magenta paintball and passes out*

Max: … Do it.

—

*Denise’s laughter echoes around the forest, but Ivan and Myléne cannot see them. Mint green paintballs start peppering their area. They scream as they streak past them, and run away. Ivan smashes into a tree and falls to the ground, and as Myléne helps him up, Alix and Adrien fall from the tree as well. As soon as Adrien hits the ground, he starts shooting blindly with his eyes closed*

Adrien: *Screams* Please leave us alone! I can't take it anymore! *He continues shooting, but does not hit Ivan or Myléne, who are standing directly in front of him; his paintball gun dry fires*

Alix: Chill out, it's only Ivan and Myléne.

Adrien: *Opens his eyes and sighs* ...I'm scared.

*Blue and hot pink paintballs rain down on the the four of them, and they run screaming, then dive behind a fallen log; the paintballs continue to fall*

Adrien: They’re all evil!

Ivan: Look, if we stick together we can beat them. All we need is a little time to come up with a pl-

*A grenade lands in front of them*

Alix: PAINTBOMB!

*They dive away as the grenade explodes, forest green paint getting everywhere. Simon cackles, cooking grenades and flinging them at the group, and eventually, they get caught in a blast*

Simon: *Takes off their mask and walks over to the bodies* … Hm. *Noticing Alix reaching for her gun, he kicks it away and points his at her*

Alix: … Do it.

*Without so much as hesitating, Simon hits her with a green paintball and leaves*

Simon: Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral… Too-ra-loo-ra-li~

—

*Marinette, Alya, Sabrina, and Chloé scream as they narrowly dodge sky blue paintballs and finally seek cover behind a tree. Everything suddenly calms down*

Alya: I think… They’re out of ammo. *No one responds* Guys?

*Alya notices Sabrina looking at the ground, and sees her foot on a rope, connected to a splinter. They look up and see a large navy blue balloon, which would explode if she steps off the rope*

Sabrina: … Go on without me.

Chloé: Sabrina… If you go down… So do I.

Marinette: Same here.

Alya: I’m with you, too.

Nathaniel: Guys?

*They turn to see Nathaniel standing across from them*

Marinette: Nath, we’ve made up our minds. You're the only one who can save us all from insanity. I saw the flag... it's just over that hill.

Nathaniel: No... no, don’t say that!

Alya: Just go! Just go... Go on! Get!

Nathaniel: *Hesitates, then runs away*

Sabrina: … Ready, guys?

Chloé: Do it.

Sabrina: Okay… One. Two- *Marinette, Alya, and Chloé get shot down by yellow paintballs* What the-

Zoé: Oh, Sabrina… *Cocks her gun* You didn’t think that trap did anything, did you?

Sabrina: … *She steps off of the trap and finds that it does nothing* No… NOOOO!

—

*Nathaniel sees the flag on a hill*

Nathaniel: Thank you, Marinette. *He rushes to the flag, but then hears a twig snap in the bushes and starts shouting at it* AHH!

Nino: Hey! *Comes out of the bush with his hands up* I'm out of the game! I was on my way to get a sandwich! *Walks off angrily*

Nathaniel: Sorry! Okay, let's end this. *Hearing footsteps, he prepares to shoot, but sets his gun down when he sees Juleka and Rose*

Rose: Nath! You’re okay!

Nathaniel: I hid the whole time!

Juleka: No shame in that. They were really- *Gets shot down by a red paintball and passes out*

Rose: JULEKA! *A red paintball hits her in the back, and she collapses on top of Juleka*

*A gun cocks behind Nathaniel, and a whistle is heard. Nathaniel looks behind him to see Marc*

Marc: Looks like you led me right to it. Now set the gun down and put your hands up, sweetie.

Nathaniel: No! Enough! I won! The game is over!

Marc: Not until you've grabbed that flag. Or better yet. Forfeit the game. You’re out, and your team loses.

Nathaniel: Nope! I’m not doing that! *Points his gun* You can’t use your boyfriend mind tricks on me! So, just drop your gun because I am literally five feet away from the flag!

Marc: … *Tosses his gun aside* Fine, but… Could I at least kiss the winner of the game before he shoots me down? *Bats his eyelashes*

Nathaniel: … Alright, fine. *Pulls Marc in for a kiss and is about to go for the flag, only to hear snickering behind him* What the-? *He turns and finds the Science Kids laughing* What’s happening?!

Cosette: Dude! That lipstick paint idea was genius!

Lacey: I did not expect him to fall for it!

Simon: Hey, if it’s Marc asking for a kiss, he’ll do whatever.

Nathaniel: What?!

Ismael: Nice lipstick, red!

Nathaniel: … *Feels his lips and looks at his fingers to see that instead of leaving lipstick behind when they kissed, Marc left red paint* … You didn’t.

Marc: I didn’t smear some of my own paint on my lips in the event I run into you? No, I’m sure I did that. Anyway! *Grabs the flag* Another victory for the best class at DuPont!

*The Science Kids cheer and fire their paintballs in the air*

[artbyeritza]

Butterfly Pity (Pea Tea)

Mitski’s on repeat in my wired headset again

And I try not to feel sorry for myself, not to cry.

I try to stand my ground, to stand on business,

It’s never enough.

I’m back in that office job again,

Now my old friends, my new friends,

My international friends and fellow Filipinos

Must think what a clown I am.

It’s the same circus, same as Yulo’s,

The difference is he won two gold medals

And has a supportive girl and the girl’s family.

I’m stuck in a cycle with my family.

Time is a circle, as the world spins on its axis.

I begin again, the same day,

Tolerating and hating everything and everyone,

For the past 26 years.

The funny thing is, I thought I could treat my friends

As a replacement for my family –

A break from the scorching summers and hell that they bring

But it opened up

Abuse, recklessness,

Dumbness, idiot,

Idiot, idiot, idiot

Idiot, idiot, idiot

Idiot, idiot, idiot

Idiot, idiot, idiot

Idiot, idiot, idiot

I am a fucking idiot

For thinking that friends can fill the void,

Much less how relationships started

And ended.

In my waking hours and grimdark dreams,

No one ever loved me,

I was only tolerated.

The fat fuck from the Philippines,

Loser – tolerated.

They’re a no one, they are toxic.

My parents loved the dogs more than me.

A female dog is a bitch

And she is.

The dogs they took care of, the white one,

Would bite me when I tried to get close,

Get familiar.

So animals don’t like me, my parents, my sisters,

My family don’t like me,

I am not certain if my remaining friends

Secretly hate me

Or if I have potential partners at all.

Aside from my personal life,

My professional, oh,

I hate numbers, I hate Accounting.

My boss is a bitch,

Who would work us 6 days a week,

From 7 in the morning until 7 in the night.

She would excuse it as personally knowing us,

Or so she claimed and our residence was nearby.

She does not understand boundaries.

The only solace I have is I can steal a few Zs

From working hours, shit, fuck, and game

During working hours.

I don’t fuck anyone, I’m AroAce and Polyam,

Not a monster.

I let my SLOWLY messages

Stack up, let it add up.

Long messaging and waiting for messages

To arrive piss me the fuck off.

By the time something reaches to me,

The Homestuck magic of waiting for a friend’s response

Or mail is gone, it’s gone.

It’s motherfucking gone.

SLOWLY was an excuse for lazy messaging,

A random-izer.

It can be a dating app but for friends.

Every time I hear that dating apps have a friend feature

Or can be used to find friends,

I want to shoot myself.

I loved the randies from Boo and Her app

But for someone to be lazy

and obviously lazy,

To not write something coherent, complex and interesting

Dear mother of god, susmariosep!

Now, I know how it is when people get bored,

I get bored too.

I know uninterested when it writes, when it talks

Yet I’m not a plaything anymore.

My Germans, Americans, and Chinese write to me

And I’m not sure how to reply.

I watch my Russian friend online in the photo app,

I wonder if I will get our usual messaging

But it is a Sunday

And seemingly, same as the Americans I knew,

They are busy with family, work and maybe study.

Or rather, it becomes obvious to my oblivious,

Moron self

That there is not one single person

Who will prefer to talk to me,

The way I speak to my poetry and art.

I pity…not myself, but everyone else.

I am healing, like a caterpillar encased in a cocoon

And about to hatch.

The hatch will be a thing of horror,

Violence to myself for a new life someday.

I’m on the third cup of “Ternate”,

Like the municipality of Cavite.

Third cup of my butterfly pea tea.

I watch the light blue sky turn into deep ocean blue,

A tea in my cup.

I swallowed it whole.

I know I’m the problem

And how mean and rude I am

But I also know I do these things

Because I was hurt deeply,

Left to lick my own wounds,

Tending, nursing myself.

[msfbgraves]

Speaking of CK couples (same anon from the teen CK couples ask), I do think teen!LaRusso is very cute and fun. I think they would have been the classic teen “slap slap kiss kiss” type of couple. It wouldn’t have lasted outside of high school of course, but I think they could have remained friends after some time passed. Besides, Daniel in Johnny’s red jacket is a pretty adorable image :p

Daniel sleeps with Mike one time and never again because the guy was clearly On Something. Yikes!!

Chozen and Daniel would have been a foreign fling that Daniel had with a violent bad boy in Japan, but Chozen still loves him years later after he’s calmed down and become a troll gentleman. (But it’s too late, and Daniel only sees him as a dear ride-or-die friend.) Sorry Chozen. Perhaps he and Kumiko marry each other to properly fawn over Daniel, the one that got away…sigh.

I genuinely do believe that in another life, Terry and Daniel would be endgame. They’re very suited to each other, and compliment each other well. And that chemistry! Omg!! Besides, Daniel has always enjoyed the finer things in life, has a taste for culture, and enjoys being spoiled and doted on—and lonely Terry needs someone as kind, affectionate, and loving as sweet little Danny boy. And of course the Dom/sub thing would be totally mutual and encouraged.

Terry done fucked up in CK!! Loser :(

Shows you how much difference it makes when characters are well rounded in the first place, hm, Nonnie? 😌😊

Daniel and Terry could have certainly made a spectacular couple in every sense of the word, Nonnie, ha! I playfully disagree though about Daniel having a taste for culture. Oh, he does love the finer things in life and I think he is a massive Springsteen fan. But I say this with all the love in my heart, I don't think he's very artsy! He likes to move, and kata and dance aren't that far apart, and I think he'd enjoy a well designed building or garden, but he doesn't strike me as much of a connoisseur when it comes to anything but food, karate or cars. And that is absolutely OK. He's not into academics, he reads up on his interests but doesn't do movies even half as passionately as Johnny let alone Terry. He likes to be comfortable and spoiled, our Daniel. He'd certainly be the more down to earth one in a relationship with Terry. I could see Terry geeking out or going on full time rants about philosophical ideas or politics with Daniel calmly going: "Yes, dear, have some cannoli," and though Terry would to a Devils game, he'd get far too into the strategy with Daniel simply yelling his head off. Terry would try forever to get him into high culture and only succeeding if it was somehow car afjacent, karate adjacent, sport adjacent or food adjacent. I think Daniel would like some Broadway, and Terry would like: "We could go to the Met - " "No!" And Terry enjoys pop culture because I think he was force fed so much high culture, but Daniel only goes to the opera with him if he can catch up on some sleep, and maybe be like: "That's what happened during operas till people got uptight about them." It's one of the things he'll have to accept and Daniel looks beautiful slumped against his shoulder. If Terry wants to enjoy a concerto with Daniel in attendance, there'd better be amazing food.

I think they would both love to travel, and you can combine their interests there. So they're forever jetting off to places.

[autumntouched]

*at a sports bar*

*hangman flirting but looks like he’s basically harassing phoenix because they get borderline verbally abusive during football season*

bartender: excuse me ma’am, is this man bothering you?

phoenix: yeah but he’s my husband so i kinda signed up for it

she probably gets pulled into the bathroom during halftime after that

Oh dear, I'm sorry this one took so long. It's more suggestive than spicy but proceed with caution...

Fantasy Season

Natasha throws her arms up when the Eagles’ defense manages to bat the ball out of the air before it can sail into the hands of the Cowboys’ tight end. “Yes!” she cheers. They’re the defense for her fantasy football team, and if they keep playing like this through the rest of the game, she’s going to bump Payback out of the top spot in their Dagger Squad league. 

“Dude, what the hell are you doing?” Jake demands loudly enough to be heard over the bar’s chatter and the volume of the game. “You can’t wear my jersey and cheer for the other team!” 

She takes a hefty sip of her beer and licks the foam off her upper lip, enjoying the way it makes the corners of his frown go slack. “Can too, when my fantasy team is kicking your ass.” 

He scowls, and she smiles sweetly. Having to cheer against his team for her fantasy win serves him right for swooping the 49ers defense before she could, and she’s going to make sure he never makes that mistake again. Jake props his arm on the bar and leans in, his face so close to hers she goes almost cross-eyed keeping him in focus. “Babe, you either cheer for the Cowboys or take the shirt off!” 

Natasha tosses her hair and takes another sip of her beer, her eyes flicking to the television where the Cowboys offense jogs off the field for a time out. “I don’t think that’s going to end the way you want it to,” she says casually. “I may or may not be wearing a see-through bra. With matching underwear, if I’m wearing any.”

Jake swears and nearly knocks over his own drink. She’s also going to make him regret dragging her to this bar on her birthday weekend because the TV in their hotel room wasn’t big enough for him. 

The Cowboys take their positions again on the field, and this time Prescott completes the pass to Lamb who makes it to the ten yard line. Fuck. That’s Jake’s fantasy wide receiver.   

“Boom!” he shouts, slapping his chest, the last part of their conversation momentarily forgotten. He turns and gets in her face. She back pedals, trying not to laugh and egg him on. “Now who’s kicking who’s ass, huh! What you gotta say to that? Disrespect the jersey and you get disrespected back!” 

She notices people starting to look their way and presses a palm to his chest to slow his roll. "Okay, cowboy, rein it in."

Jake shakes his head. "Uh uh. You want to mess with the bull, baby, you better be ready for the horns."

Someone clears their throat. “Excuse me, ma’am, is this man bothering you?”

Natasha looks over at the bartender leaning forward over the bar, her heavily eyelined eyes narrowed dangerously at Jake. Despite her neat ponytail, long nails, and crisp button down, it’s clear anyone should think twice before crossing her. Her nails click a warning on the wood, somehow audible over all the noise. 

Jake deflates some and takes a slight, involuntary step back. Chuckling, Natasha brings up the hand with her wedding rings. “Yeah, all the time. But he’s my husband so I kinda signed up for it.” The bartender doesn’t look fully convinced yet, even though she seems a little less ready to throw a throat chop across the bar. Natasha grins, deliberately not looking at Jake when she says, “The thing about marrying a winner is he can be a sore loser when his wife kicks his ass in fantasy football.”

That finally wins the bartender over, and she winks. “Okay, as long as you say so. But if he gives you any trouble, you know where to find me.” 

Natasha elbows Jake playfully in the ribs. “Believe me, I think he’s going to be on his best behavior for the rest of night so I already have enough to thank you for. Aren’t you, dickhead?” 

Jake gives the woman a friendly salute and one of his most charming grins. “Yes, ma’am.” 

The bartender laughs throatily and moves away, gesturing jokingly with two fingers to let him know she still has her eye on him. Natasha bumps Jake with her hip. “Saved your ass again, didn’t I?” she smiles before taking a sip of her beer. 

He slides an arm around her waist and pulls her into him. “So you married a winner, huh?” 

"Did you hear what I said about kicking your ass?"

"Was that before or after you admitted that I'm a catch?"

She can’t stand how much she loves his smug expression. “Don’t make me regret what I had to say to keep you out of trouble.” 

Leaning in as if he’s going to place a kiss behind her ear, he whispers, “Can’t believe you made me lie to that pretty lady because I’m definitely not going to be on my best behavior when I find out whether you're telling the truth about what you’re wearing.” 

After that, she can barely focus on the game, too aware of his presence and simmering desire beside her. When Jake glances toward the bathroom during halftime, she gladly follows. Natasha’s not sure which of them feels more rewarded when he figures out exactly what she does–or doesn’t–have on under her jean skirt but she enjoys the taste of victory either way.

[gabykatttt]

The Dazzlings vs Velvet and Veneer

Pt 3

Wow that was the best breakfast ever Sonata said.

Yeah it really fucking was Aria said.

Adagio rolled her eyes.

So what do we do now? Sonata asked curious.

Idk Adagio as she bumped into someone.

HEY WATCH WHERE YOU GOING BITCH the green head girl said.

Sorry asshole Adagio said.

Excuse me what did you just called me? The girl asked.

You fucking heard me Adagio said.

Who the hell are you? Aria asked looking at the twins.

I’m Velvet this is my brother Veneer Velvet said introducing herself and Veneer.

Veneer looked and recognized Sonata.

Are you that girl I bump into? Veneer asked looking at Sonata.

Uhhh yes why? Sonata asked.

Cuz you called my brother an asshole Velvet said staring at Sonata.

You better back off before I rip you into pieces Adagio growled.

She’s right you mess with her you mess with us bitch Aria said growling.

Oh I’m so fucking scared you little- Velvet was cut off by Veneer.

That’s enough sis you don’t know what those girls are capable of Veneer trying to calm his sister down.

How we have a battle? Velvet asked offering the dazzlings a battle.

Challenge expected Adagio said.

WHAT Sonata,Aria, and Veneer yelled.

Good meet us at the stage tomorrow if you dare Velvet said.

Oh we fucking will Aria said.

You then losers come on Veneer let’s go we got some practice to do Velvet said.

I’m sorry about my sister’s behavior she’s spoiled and crazy Veneer following his sister behind.

What are you thinking Dagi? Sonata asked.

Yeah you don’t know what they’re capable of Aria said.

I don’t care girls all I care is that no one messes with us Adagio said walking to fight the twins.

Sonata and Aria followed.

We’re screwed Sonata said worrying.

I know Aria replied still walking.

With the twins

Have you lost your mind sis they can kill us Veneer said.

None sense Veneer we’re going to beat them Velvet said feeling pride to beat the dazzlings.

Come on dear brother we got work to do Velvet said.

Okay but don’t come crying to me why they beat you Veneer said following his sister.

[ciaossu-imagines]

Day 20 Prompt 3

✏️

Ohh, well, this is one that I wasn’t expecting! I don’t often get chances to talk about my original characters very openly. I’ve kind of been talking about a couple KHR OC’s I have had for years but never really done much with here and there with a lovely fandom friend though, just bare basics, and I’m going to take the opportunity given to me to actually share a little bit more information with her and all the other lovely readers here! I got some blow back years ago when I did more openly talk about them so I’m hoping that won’t happen again and again, anon dear, thank you for this opportunity!  

I will reveal an OC that I thought about making and writing.

So, like almost everyone else in the KHR fandom, I’m sure, I’ve made a whole other family within the KHR universe. The way I’ve always figured it is something really major happens within the family itself, some sort of civil war tearing the family apart and the heir apparent to this family and his generation (the teens) become the family’s main hope after the current boss is assassinated during this whole civil war. There’s large portions of the family that don’t support the heir apparent, everyone’s trying to take over, and the heir apparent and his Guardians are just teens. They’re doing their best but they’re a little in over their heads and so they go seeking help to rid the family of the elements that brought about this internal war and to help the heir take control of the family and bring everyone back together again.

And of course, who better to ask than the Vongola family? They are the largest family, the most prestigious and in a way, if the heir to my OC family could forge an alliance with the Vongola, it would not only help with the situation but set this OC family up for growth in both rank, prestige, and power going into the future and as his Guardians kind of point out, that would be good for the family and would look good as a resume building move on his part.

They find themselves blocked from really approaching Timoteo though so they figure where the 10th Generation, Tsuna’s family, might be easier for them to approach, both because they’re roughly around the same age and because they’re a little less well-guarded.

Shame though…Tsuna really doesn’t give the most amazing first impression and while the two bosses really do kind of hit it off and get along, a lot of the OC family don’t really believe that Tsuna and his Guardians are actually going to be any help to them and some of the OC family are initially really rude to the family, though it mostly stems from feelings of ‘oh shit, this was really our biggest hope and kind of our only hope and these kids are kind of losers instead of the big, strong Vongola we were hoping to find.

Now I know what some people are thinking – this family is so going to be a rip-off of Tsuna’s family, but I like to believe that they’re not, both in characterizations and in how the family interact with each other. The OC family does really respect their boss entirely as their leader, but there’s less of a friendship feeling among them all and a real strong familial relationship between all of them. They all grew up from infancy with each other, the family home-schooled them all, and these kids, while not blood related, have lived, learned, played, and done everything together since they were in the crib and so they all really do regard each other as siblings and every situation I have imagined with them really does strongly give that feeling.

The structure of the family – Boss and Guardians all with Sky Flames – is exactly like the Vongola but I like to think that’s where the similarities end. I will also say that other than some mild flirtatious moments that might lead to things in the future, there’s really no shipping in the story, it focuses around a plot and around building strong bonds between the families and between the individual characters.

One thing to note – I fucking suck at naming characters and don’t really have strong names in my head for them because I’m a loser that way, hahahahaha! So, this is the first time I’ve had to sit and think of names so, as of this post, it’s the first time they all get names.

We’ll start with the most obvious OC to introduce. The Boss! Heir apparent of the Accardi Famiglia, Luca is a pretty quiet guy. Mostly because he’s a deaf mute so like…not too much of a chatterbox, Luca. He comes across as being a little uncomfortable around people and to some extent that is true…he doesn’t feel super comfortable with strangers but isn’t exactly shy. It’s just that with his disability, interacting with strangers can sometimes be a struggle and he gets really frustrated at time. He reads lips and signs and his right hand or one of his other family members does translate for those who don’t sign (to mixed results, depending on the family member translating because some of his family members find it funny to say things that are definitely not what he’s signing). He’s a very trusting person, someone who wants to see the best in everyone, who truly loves people and finds humanity beautiful, and he is friendly in his own way. He really wants more friends; he really wants bonds with people…they’re just harder for him to make. He’s really hard-working and diligent but gets overwhelmed sometimes with the expectation of leading the Family and he sometimes does wish that he had a more normal life, something he, Tsuna, and Enma do bond over a little.

Oh, and in a departure from the way it normally works, because absolutely NOTHING says a boss has to be a Sky Flame, Luca’s actually got a Sun Flame and has the purest flame of all his family members, on par with the purity of a Vongola Guardian’s flame.

His right hand? Her name’s Bria and she actually possesses the Sky Flame out of the Guardians. She’s totally and completely devoted to the Family and the others. She wants everyone to be happy and healthy, to live their best lives, and she wants to see Luca become the amazing boss she knows he’ll be. (She might have a small crush on him, just saying, something she struggles with because for most of her life, he was like a brother to her.) She struggles with some social anxiety and self-esteem issues, but she pushes past them and really pushes herself, in general, to an almost unhealthy degree to do everything she can for her family. She’s the one staying up all night to do paperwork, to study harder, to think of plans and such. She’s the one waking up at 4 am to clean and make breakfast for the others so that they don’t need to worry about that. Despite the thought of talking to complete strangers making her nauseous, she’s normally the one translating for Luca and the one laying out facts and talking to the various people. She’s the most accepting, after Luca, of Tsuna’s family and in general is a person who doesn’t judge by appearances. There’s not a time this girl doesn’t remember being stressed, but she wants to appear perfect and good to everyone around her, so she hides behind a mask that not even those closest to her notices is fake.

The family’s Storm Guardian is Lara. Hot-tempered, prone to solving problems with violence, wildly confident and the most likely to get into stupid situations or wild scenarios because she just does whatever comes to mind. She also has a bit of ADHD, just saying. Oh…and she’s fat because like…bodies come in all sizes and she actually likes her body and her curves. She’s really into fashion and accessories so her appearance is as loud and wild as she is.

The family’s Rain Guardian is tall, pierced, desperately wants a tattoo, wears a leather jacket, has a mohawk and plays the guitar. They write sappy songs and poetry and loves cars and motorcycles. In short, Alfonso (who goes by the nickname Fonz and who actually does love The Fonz) is the stereotypical bad boy with the heart of gold. That heart of gold is most emphasized around his ‘siblings’ because he’s the oldest of the Guardians and takes it on himself to be the best ‘big brother’ to everyone that he can be. It’s just strangers who get the brunt of his dirty mouth and ‘fuck off’ attitude.

The family’s Lightning Guardian is Raf. Raf’s kind of a go with the flow kind of guy, though he has no problem with opening his mouth to give you his opinion on things. He’s a little bit of a nerd, with a strong interest in technology, a love of working on things with his hands. He not only listens to DnD podcasts, collects Magic: The Gathering Cards, loves Star Wars, but is a bit of a ‘weeaboo’. Being in Japan? Awesome. The fact that Tsuna and his family seem like weak kids who know nothing about the Mafia? Not so awesome.

The family’s Cloud Guardians are identical twins. Theo and Tony are actually complete opposites in terms of personalities – Theo is more confident and actually really judgmental and manipulative, though he does truly care about and takes care of those he does love. It’s just that he likes getting into people’s heads and playing with them and he’s the rudest, in a very silver-tongued fashion, to Tsuna’s family. It really does come from him now needing to try to figure out how to keep his beloved family safe though. Tony, meanwhile, is quieter and stoic. He’s not really a huge people person – he enjoys time alone or with one or two close people. He’s really big into nature and sports and a bit of a guy’s guy. He’s also a little simple-minded in contrast to his twin. Both twins are more than willing to act on their own, without consulting the others, if they think they’re in the right. While both of them are loyal to the family and do love the others, their main alliance is to each other above all though.

The family’s Mist Guardian is a bit of a kook. Eccentric is definitely a little bit of an understatement for Guiana. Guiana’s very loud, over-dramatic, and honestly leaves most people thinking there’s something wrong with her. She speaks a mile a minute, is a conspiracy theorist, believes she’s the reincarnation of the Grand Duchess Anastasia, and gets really into media. She definitely would be a Tumblrina and is a fandom creator who talks about her fictional others and favourite characters as if they were real people…like someone will ask her what she was doing and she’ll go into this big tale of going on this grand adventure with her favourite character. Yeah, she’s a little divorced from reality and goes with her gut feeling on people, but behind all that, she’s actually a really skilled illusionist and solidly cares about and will protect her family with her life.

[aajjks]

BC!JK

are your eyes believing what they’re seeing? THE jeon jungkook defending you against jongin all because he snapped your headphones. he even forces him to apologize to you and though you didn’t enjoy the brutal example jungkook made out of him, you were happy to see one of your tormentors apologizing to you feeling helpless.

you’re unsure why jungkook defended you and you’re hoping the bully club will leave alone but they still insist on making fun of you and giving you weird glances.

“don’t think just cause jungkook defended you means you’re safe from us” namjoon says as he shoves you into the lockers “he’s still the leader at the end of the day” yoongi follows up which means nothing will change.

they didn’t need to break it down for you anymore than that and maybe that will get people to believe that you and jungkook aren’t a thing because you’re sure those kinds of rumors are already brewing. your last two classes weren’t that bad but you ended up taking a lot more time than usual thanks to your least favorite class, chemistry.

you still haven’t seen danielle and you decide to head back home to get caught up with your homework and maybe start on your essay on production for your art class.

unexpectedly or maybe unfortunately, you hear a familiar voice calling out for you and once they get nearer, it’s jeon jungkook shoving his cell in your face demanding you give him your number. you remember politely declining an exchange in numbers but then you remember the cafeteria incident and yoongi’s words.

he still hates you and if you don’t hand him your number, he’ll hurt you like jongin or maybe worse. with a sigh, you put in your number and pray you don’t regret giving your bully your ACTUAL digits but of course you do.

by the time you arrive home and freshen up, jungkook is already ringing your cell phone and sending texts threatening you to pick up.

you really regret giving your worst enemy your phone number….

“yes jungkook?” you say in a bothered tone as you continue to finish your math homework that was starting to irritate you.

“listen…can you please delete my number? i appreciate you wanting me to help but there’s so many other people who are smarter than me. and-AND they’re actually attractive. you don’t want to work with an ugly loser like me. you should work with someone like soojin, danielle, or alina”

He’s in the comfort of his home and he feels awfully hot, the air conditioning doesn’t really help him out because he’s talking to you right now, so he does feel a little excited.

But what you say next has him clenching his jaw in anger. “shut the fuck up. They are dumb bitches and you are really smart.” of course, that is the truth. “And. Soo Jin is only good for fucking, Danielle your dear friend is way too grumpy for me to deal with, and who the fuck is alina?” He scoffs.

“I want to work with you, understand? You.” Jungkook makes sure to emphasize on you, “you are ugly but those women are plastic- at least you’re natural and smart.” he doesn’t want to sound too corny, but the truth is that… you are really beautiful.

You’ve got the perfect lips, the most gorgeous eyes, and the most adorable cheeks. And your nose is absolutely perfection, but his most favorite part about you is definitely your mouth.

Oh he loves it so much. “come on now, speak up little lamb.” it’s like he’s talking to his crush and maybe that is the truth… he feels so giddy. “Come on explain to me about whatever the fuck I missed on in the class.” He smirks. He hears you say over the other line, and you just give up and begin explaining.

Jungkook loves the way you talk it’s so soft and.. it’s just so you. “Ok ok I got it..” he interrupts you once again, because he’s really not interested in that. “Before I hang up, I want you to tell me if he gets you new headphones and if he doesn’t, just let me know.” He bites his lower lip, his gaze settling in his bruised knuckles.

“I’ll make sure that he learns another lesson.”