#fucking lonely
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This house is too fucking quiet. It's reminding me I'm alone.
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Y'know, I don't think I've ever been someone's first choice. I'm the distraction, the fill the void until something better happens, the "who really gives a shit if I break his heart"
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Vent …
#fucking lonely#I’m happy as myself for the first time in forever#but it also makes me wonder why no one else seems to see me that way#I’m lovable dammit!!!!#how do I meet people#how do I date people#I can’t even read short love stories without a fucking panic attack anymore
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Sketching while streaming s5...
Jonathan Sims I will learn to draw you (this is my doing. I could draw him however I want and I choose to stick with an image of him in my brain that is difficult for me to draw. Masochism.)
Not s5 Mahtins below I enjoyed drawing cuz hes neat:
(Edit: I yassified Martin in the do not separate cuz I wanted his hair fluffier)
#yes I realize Jon and Martin are in different fucking art styles let me live#do not accuse me of being AI this difficulty drawing hands is all natural I worked hard drawing for years just to fucking suck at it#update I listened to 170 I heard it was devastating but my ass was LAUGHING#poor martin but omg me and my buddy had everywhere at the end of time in the background and shit was so funny#he forgor 😭💀#it was emotionally devastating at the end tho Jon suggesting he stay there um btich NO?!#Jon the literal Lonely is not worse tham being around you get a fucking grip#helen continues to be the best character her showing up for the juicy gossip is so fucking real#anyagays#tma#tma podcast#the magnus pod#tma fanart#jonathan sims#the magnus archives#my art#martin blackwood#jonmartin#jmart#tma jmart#tma season 5#tma spoilers#i have to make a diagram for my jon and martin designs for s5 SO bad#if only i could draw jon.... >:(#i need u guys to know that my martin loves plaid and jon is wearing a plaid shirt thats too big in s5... inchresting....
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I wish I had friends.
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“i love being aromantic” i say as i feel my chest cavity rotting from the inside at the unquenchable desire for love in a way that is truly a secret third thing but its not a secret i want to keep it is a secret nobody is willing to listen to and im trapped in a state of isolation of my own making because no matter how much love i have to give it will never be enough. it will never be enough. it will never be enough.
#space.txt#aromantic#its like something gnawing on my bones!!!#i am who i am but who i am is somebody nobody else wants#and do i want to be wanted?#im trapped in a world that will never give me the dignity to be truly happy by myself#financially and culturally! im doomed by the narrative#i look forward and there will be friendships but they will never be enough i feel like a fucking ALIEN#i need to meet another aroace person irl so bad its so fucking lonely how do people deal with this#1k#all the notes on this.. WE WIL BE OKAY!!!#2k
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i think he would like to hear your voice.
#heartstopperedit#heartstopper#narlieedit#narlie#nick x charlie#nick nelson#charlie spring#mine#feel like the only one who gets absolutely teary eyed at that voiceover by tara#nick felt so fucking lonely
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one of the things that's the most fucking frustrating for me about arguing with climate change deniers is the sheer fucking scope of how much it matters. sweating in my father's car, thinking about how it's the "hottest summer so far," every summer. and there's this deep, roiling rage that comes over me, every time.
the stakes are wrong, is the thing. that's part of what makes it not an actual debate: the other side isn't coming to the table with anything to fucking lose.
like okay. i am obviously pro gun control. but there is a basic human part of me that can understand and empathize with someone who says, "i'm worried that would lead to the law-abiding citizens being punished while criminals now essentially have a superpower." i don't agree, but i can tell the stakes for them are also very high.
but let's say the science is wrong and i'm wrong and the visible reality is wrong and every climate disaster refugee is wrong. let's say you're right, humans aren't causing it or it's not happening or whatever else. let's just say that, for fun.
so we spend hundreds of millions of dollars making the earth cleaner, and then it turns out we didn't need to do that. oops! we cleaned the earth. our children grow up with skies full of more butterflies and bees. lawns are taken over with rich local biodiversity. we don't cry over our electric bills anymore. and, if you're staunchly capitalist and i need to speak ROI with you - we've created so many jobs in developing sectors and we have exciting new investment opportunities.
i am reminded of kodak, and how they did not make "the switch" to digital photography; how within 20 years kodak was no longer a household brand. do we, as a nation, feel comfortable watching as the world makes "the switch" while we ride the laurels of oil? this boggles me. i have heard so much propaganda about how america cannot "fall behind" other countries, but in this crucial sector - the one that could actually influence our own monopolies - suddenly we turn the other cheek. but maybe you're right! maybe it will collapse like just another silicone valley dream. but isn't that the crux of capitalism? that some economies will peter out eventually?
but let's say you're right, and i'm wrong, and we stopped fracking for no good reason. that they re-seed quarries. that we tear down unused corporate-owned buildings or at least repurpose them for communities. that we make an effort, and that effort doesn't really help. what happens then? what are the stakes. what have we lost, and what have we gained?
sometimes we take our cars through a car wash and then later, it rains. "oh," we laugh to ourselves. we gripe about it over coffee with our coworkers. what a shame! but we are also aware: the car is cleaner. is that what you are worried about? that you'll make the effort but things will resolve naturally? that it will just be "a waste"?
and what i'm right. what if we're already seeing people lose their houses and their lives. what if it is happening everywhere, not just in coastal towns or equatorial countries you don't care about. what if i'm right and you're wrong but you're yelling and rich and powerful. so we ignore all of the bellwethers and all of the indicators and all of the sirens. what if we say - well, if it happens, it's fate.
nevermind. you wouldn't even wear a mask, anyway. i know what happens when you see disaster. you think the disaster will flinch if you just shout louder. that you can toss enough lives into the storm for the storm to recognize your sacrifice and balk. you argue because it feels good to stand up against "the liberals" even when the situation should not be political. you are busy crying for jesus with a bullhorn while i am trying to usher people into a shelter. you've already locked the doors, even on the church.
the stakes are skewed. you think this is some intellectual "debate" to win, some funny banter. you fuel up your huge unmuddied truck and say suck it to every citizen of that shitbird state california. serves them right for voting blue!
and the rest of us are terrified of the entire fucking environment collapsing.
#spilled ink#writeblr#i hope it is clear here that i actually very much care about equatorial countries#and that's part of what makes me so angry bc im like. climate refugees exist.#they've existed for a while!!!#and the reply is almost always ''should have thought about that before living on an island"#like fuck dude. do you need to like how people vote before ur like#your entire house shouldn't burn down each summer????#so many of these people make it their life to mock california that they think it's FUNNY#and im like. girl you should be fucking trembling. TEXAS??? ARE YOU LISTENING??#this is one of those times that like. i need to stress how fucking stupid it would be#to let trump win. bc he could have “reached across the aisle.” covid could have been#a MASSIVE commercial success. he has such a huge and bigoted and brainwashed following.#literally just a PR campaign called COWBOY UP and it's pictures of cowboys in bandanas#trump reinvisioned as the lone ranger fighting for the american people against covid. EASY SELL#and instead. companies bought him. it became political. it was not ''oh shit this is 1 enemy let's all be human''#it was ''you deserve to die.''#climate change should be GLOBAL. it should be like ''yeah i hate u but. we do all live here''#i don't have to LIKE my group members to do well on a team project bc we are ALL getting graded.#is that simple enough of an under-explaination lol
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Despondency / Refuge
that's supposed to be Bennys lighter, the Courier is dealing with cosequences of being thrown into a mess they had nothing to do with
the halo was something that turned out on an accident but i love it
Rant below
#ARCADE PLS STRAIGHTEN OUT YOUR COLLAR ITS DRIVING ME MAD#fallout new vegas#arcade gannon#courier six#fnv#courier 6#my art#smoking#artists on tumblr#the cool halo effect is actually just moon photo set to burn on a white circle and yellow border#and the sky is a photo lmao#dont ask me where the light came from ive no idea its somewhere#i only know how to draw one type of shoes i rarely draw humans#furries mostly#yeah its gonna be a while probably till i draw anything like that it took FOREVER but damn im glad#fuck im lonely#once i wanted to go to art uni but then saw average pay in my country#back to studying#also from the last gannon post i read all the tags i love yall#vels spolski#firealpaca
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ᅠ ͏ ⬚͒⬚͒ ❀℘ 愛を誓って
✿ — 2005 ✧ ✧ *.•̩̩͙
#⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀#𝄞 ❀.ྀི⡃: LONELY IN GORGEOUS BY TOMMY FEBRUARY6 ♬ᬊ᭢˚̣̣̣͙͏ ⣾#⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀#wonbin moodboard#minimal moodboard#mnml#minimalism#moodboard#mb#riize moodboard#aes#aesthetic#riize is 7#rii7e#bring seunghan back#fuck sm#symbols#layouts#messy moodboard#random moodboard#kpop moodboard#carrd layouts#wonbin layouts#park wonbin#girlblogging#vintage moodboard#soft moodboard#blue moodboard#pink moodboard#simple moodboard
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#trigun#vash the stampede#vash#trigun knives#millions knives#angel#artists on tumblr#trying out (once again) a new way of coloring#this is NOT PLANCEST/INCEST/SHIPPING ty#I just think their relationship in the og trigun is very interesting#knives clearly cares about vash#but in the worse fucked up way#boy is lonely and doesn’t understand why his brother doesn’t want to hang out just with him smh#anyways I just wanted to try out drawing wings and they were the perfect excuse#my doodled doodle
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valentines newsletter ???? ?? HELLO ???????? ?????? ? ????
#deltarune#rouxls kaard#queen#queenkaard#art#doodles#comic#dude hes so fucking lonely and desperate oh my god. why is that becoming less and less of a joke#SIR this is a WENDYS#LOSER BOY !!!!!!!! LOSER. i lov you. you are so fucked up and strange and unhinged. what is wrong with you#i need ch3 and 4 right now i need to see if they love and or hate each other. i need to see more of whatever is happening here#yeah queens has personalized pens that have her face on them. what ruler doesn't#anyway#go in there#go in the dark#i mean the box
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I have been in the solavellan fandom for...A While. (do not count the years, i beg) and everyone has their tropes and themes re: wolves/halla and hunter/prey and the New Herald being worshiped/the Old God nearly forgotten, and tbh I like bits and pieces of all of them, but like...
For me, the most compelling story is that Lavellan is just Some Guy (gn).
They meet Solas and accept that he is like them. He's an elf. One of The People. You are like me. I am like you. We are The Same People. And because of that, I will protect you with whatever power the humans around us have given me, because I know this is not the safest place for either of us.
And it just fucking... gets him, right? Because that's his whole deal. The world is broken because the people aren't People. He's not like them. They're not like him.
I just love the idea that this impossibly old, incredibly powerful sort-of-god, trips into a hole and nearly throws his entire game away because a regular person (albeit one who was thrust into extraordinary circumstances) decided to be kind. Offered him protection and friendship. Asked him to tell them stories. Grieved with him when he lost one of his oldest friends.
He could not deny that they were a person, because they treated him like a person.
I love how ordinary that is. How simple. How devastating.
'You're real, and it means everyone could be real. It changes everything, but it can't.'
#Solavellan#solas x lavellan#dragon age#like it's such 'in another life i think i'd have really loved doing laundry and taxes with you' vibes#like to live an extraordinarily long and devastatingly bloody and ultimately lonely life#and then be offered love simply and honestly with no strings or caveats from a person who genuinely just...likes being with you?#RIP buddy i think I'd have gone a bit feral myself#I think this is probably why I am still foaming at the mouth over them a decade later#i have never wanted 2 people to Catch a Fucking Break so badly in my LIFE#let them have their life with laundry and taxes ;_;
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[Inscryption] bush grandpa :)
#inscryption#leshy#lonely wizard#spoilers:#leshys last moments made me fucking weep i love this bush grandpa sm he just wants to play cards aughhghghhg#crowberri.png
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whatever happens, please don’t break
#god not a fucking DAY goes by where i don’t think of that one interview and this quote#does anybody have it word for word? please? i’ll pay you#literally every single time i think about how kunikida as w character was MADE for dazai. specifically to share his suffering#i actually sob into my hands because that means they were both destined for tragedy together and the long dark road they will walk#will at least not be lonely. because they have each other. they are each other’s light in the darkness.#DO YOU UNDERSTAND#bro the fact that kunikida is painfully aware of the imperfection of the world and how he still continues to fight for his ideals#paralleling dazai who finds humanity beautiful but cannot become attached bc he feels alienated from emotion#THE WAY THEY COULD HELP EACH OTHER????? SICK SICK SICK I AM SICK#i love kunikidazai sm i wish more ppl could see the potential#but some of you aren’t ready for the sheer perfection of their dynamic#also i’ve noticed that i am only capable of drawing dazai properly when it’s with kunikida what’s up with that 💀#and sorreyy i know their height difference isn’t THAT big but i didn’t realize until i was halfway into the coloring 😔💔#osamu dazai#dazai osamu#kunikida doppo#doppo kunikida#kunikidazai#knkdz#kunizai#lotus draws
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we as a collective do Not talk about this line delivery nearly enough and for good fucking reason, i'll kill bradley james for this one line alone. he's just a little boy :'((
#sami rambles#like. he's still the same little kid who didn't really know what it was to be looked after/cared for/doted on#at the heart of him he's still just that lonely young boy who always had to earn people's attention#or just take whatever he got for the simple fact of being the king's son :/#even after so long he's still not used to merlin's love. and now. now he can't see what he's ever done to deserve it#seeing everything all at once and he just. he needs answers before he goes.#he's just a little boy asking 'why' to prolong his bedtime a few moments more#oh fuck. just caused irreparable damage to myself with that last one ahaha#merlin#bbc merlin#arthur pendragon#merthur#bradley james
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