#fucking johns

[vaspider]

Me, starting a video that says it's going to explain how Victorian poorhouses fucked up the concept of charity forever: ok, show me what you've got

Video: it starts with the ideas of the Christian philosopher --

Me: DON'T SAY IT DON'T FUCKING SAY IT

Video: -- John Calvin

Me:

[ringo-starr-daily]

All of the Beatles dying in a glue trap

[yooo-lets-go]

Wish you were here

[vozart]

he just needs them to get together or something

based on <3

[guhbwuh]

soap study

[megatronusprimedecal]

"Always got your back." "No matter what."

Transformers One (2024)

[buttdumplin]

yeah simon is the one to scare people away when they get too close you, using his size and movement to intimidate, simultaneously shielding you behind him

yeah soap is the one barking loud, creating a spectacle and calling people out, and warning them away

yeah kyle is the one humiliating people, mocking offenders until either their own actions dawn on them or they finally recognize the venom in his eyes

but price is the one that launches into swinging. there is no warning, no hesitation. taking a step, even a single word against you, warrants immediate action in his mind. it's no laughing fucking matter. you are a top fucking prize, his prize, the best the world has to offer. john is rabid in his protection, bearing tooth and boot and claw and fist. there’s no point in talking to him or trying to negotiate, an offense is an offense and he won’t meet it halfway. someone looks at you the wrong way? they won't be able to see out of swollen eyes after headbutts them, crushing their nose. someone whispers something nasty about you? good luck even eating with that jaw wired shut. god forbid someone touches you, the other three boys can barely hold him back. john will break countless bones in every way he knows and beat his knuckles bloody if your smile starts to drop. 

[higgsbison]

I got into the falling down holes podcast

[tojisun]

something tender and domestic and needy with john.

something like him coming home, all bone-tired and angry, his body rigid and poised with tension, only to fold and falter at the sight of you asleep on the bed. so soft buried underneath the sheets, and john’s hit by this yawning in the pit of his stomach, so vitriolic it shakes him — he has never really gotten over the way you’re his now.

his to take care of. his to love. to spoil.

his to come home to.

john stalks forward quietly and settles close. he knows that you’ll get angry at him for sitting on the bed in his work clothes, but he can’t help it. he needs to feel you. to be with you. to be so close, the coldness of winter will burn off his skin.

he brushes his knuckles along your cheek, watching it dimple at the slightest pressure. how soft you are, years still ahead of you, but still, you chose him. you chose to be here in his home, in his reach, in the cusp of his palm.

you’re warm from your sleep, almost feverish underneath all those layers, and john feels the pull of his own exhaustion now. like his body has been waiting for this — for you.

“mmn?”

you stir, heavy eyes blinking open.

“shh,” john murmurs, not willing to truly pull you from your slumber. “s’just me, baby. go back to sleep.”

john feels the barest of nods move his hand before watching you curl into him, wriggling underneath the mass of your blankets, and settling with a satisfied puff. his lips dance with a fond mirth but john doesn’t move, not yet anyway, and just watches on as you slip back into your sleep.

all his love, here.

[stalebagels]

Edit: muted this monstrosity but if you're looking for the blank template it's on my blog and I'll tag this and it with "the stupid fucking shorts post" so you don't have to scroll through everything 💀😂 (I did not make the template btw, I don't know who the OP is but if you do please let me know)

[ewwwabug]

cant you eat in silence like me because you hear someone munching and telling you to KILL YOURSELF RIGHT NOW

aneway heres draw for my friend of johny and johan kissing

[homestuckreblogs]

[girl-drink-drunk]

you would fuck that old man. i would fuck that old man. we are the same. hold my hand

[pastelpigeonparadise]

I've seen a lot of Constantine mentoring Danny fics and prompts, and one of them had a random joke in the tags that John and clockwork had "history" and this immediately came into my brain

The justice league were sitting around the table, John Constantine sipping from his seemingly neverending flask and ignoring whatever the hell batsy was droning on about.

"Constantine" batman growled, "this is not a joke or a game, this is a potentially world-ending threat, pay attention"

"yeah, yeah, you got a ghost problem, do you even have a fuckin picture of 'em?" Ancients, whenever bats got on his high horse it was easier to go along with him, but he sure made it hard to like the fucker

Batman grunted and projected a staticy blurred photo of a young man with whispy white hair in a black Hazmat suit floating about a pond covered in transparent green blobs.

He couldn't contain his laugh as he looked at the photo "that's why you called this meeting? You think he's a world ending threat? Ha! Your little he'll spawn more of a threat than Danny"

Ok, so maybe it wasn't his best idea to provoke bats but seriously! This was a goddamn joke, kid wouldn't hurt a fly! Unless it was a ghost, but like, that's a ghost thing, fighting is how they make friends

"you mean you have met this entity?" Bats growled, tense and staring directly at john

"Yeah I've met him, he's my stepson" and oh, he /knew/ bats was gonna interrogate him to hell and back, but that stunned silence, the astonished aura? That was so fuvking worth it

[bluegiragi]

big d stands for big demeanour (inspired by this mini thread-fic by queeniebgalore on twitter - it is nsfw like immediately so be wary)

early access + nsfw on patreon

[spurbleu]

think it’s really funny to imagine the younger men of the 141 realizing that price is actually super good with women.

soap plays knight- shows off to gawking birds, kyle’s pretty boy eyes and sharp tongue garner plenty of attention, and all simon needs to do is sit in the middle of the bar, waiting till a sweet thing asks him ‘what a big man like him is doing alone?’

price isn’t as engaged. let’s his boys have fun, but for the most part prefers to hang back. enjoy his liquor and cigarettes- let them do their thing. course, doesn’t go unnoticed. which spurs their assumption it’s not a ‘he wont’ and instead a ‘he cant’.

“‘fraid they might not like you, capm’?”

“aye gaz, play nice. ye know ta old man’s sensitive.”

“lost his spark, i reckon.”

they rib him for weeks on end about being an old man, no game, out of his prime, ect ect. it’s all light and fun of course, and combat keeps them busy enough that the jokes start to be forgotten. doesn’t occur to them that price has just been biting his tongue since the first blow.

until- night off. pub lights, tallboys and pretty women. familiar scene, type of place that has been in nasty dreams for weeks. kyle and soap are assessing the room, and simon’s silently following along. it takes them a minute to realize they’re captain is gone- but not 10 seconds to find him again- with a sweet, gorgeous bird on his arm by the bar.

silently, they watch as he effortlessly charms her. they count how many times she laughs, how eager she is to hold his arm, how, within in minutes, they’re already cozied up on a booth, nursing beer and making eyes.

and why wouldn’t she? classically handsome, mature, cute smile, a rugged exterior with a gentle execution. it’s a no-brainer for her when he offers to ‘get out of here’, and hold the muscles that breech from his shirt. doesn’t catch the way he glances over to a corner of the pub as they make their leave, small smile tugging at the burs of his mustache as he clocks the shock of his men’s faces under low lighting.

soap and kyle’s jaw break, meanwhile simon lets out a barking laugh.

“old man’s still got it.”

needless to say, all three men said nothing about losing his charm at the next debrief.