#fucking hate it im absolutely fucking miserable like i HATE having to be dependent

[bibleofficial]

turns out it’s probably a small fracture ❤️ gotta call orthopedics tomorrow to make sure it’s nothing worse 🤩

[supercalime]

A goodbye post I guess?

Hey yall, i wanted to write something about all of this as this may be the last time I talk about this show. Apologies in advance, this will be long and all over the place cause im using this little essay to get it off my chest and help me calm down my anxiety. Strap in, this will be a doozy.

First off, no matter how sad and disappointed we are, let’s please not stoop down to the level of those fans when it comes to voicing our issues with this situation. Please, let’s not harass, call people names, send them threats, etc. we can voice our opinions in an adult way, and although it fucking hurts and it makes us want to shout from the rooftops and call Murphy, Minear and Stark every name in the sun, we need to be grown ups and come out on top of it.

That being said, I want to first acknowledge how fun and cool yall are. We endured A LOT of shit since april and all that bullshit didn’t stop you from keeping the positivity going. I applaud you all for that. It has been hard. I came in contact and became friends with some really nice people here and I wouldn’t change it for the world. I loved being a part of this fandom and it physically hurts me that this feels like it was all for nothing.

Even though I feel like a fool as well, I hate to see how you are all so sad with this. This wasn’t our fault. We were not naive for believing that this storyline could’ve been great. Don’t blame yourself for being taken advantage of. Because that’s what they did. They saw the opportunity to profit from a community and took it. They are the ones in the wrong. They used us for brownie points and then tossed us away like trash the second they got what they wanted. It’s on them.

What I’m about to say now will sound hypocritical as I’m writing this at 2am while trying to cope with an anxiety attack caused by this very show, but what we can take away from this is that unfortunately, we can’t rely on tv shows for happiness. Yes, that’s a bitter pill to swallow, specially in this political climate as we were hoping for some sort of escape from the horrors of the elections. What i took away from this is that I need to (for lack of a better word) touch grass. I need hobbies, I need friends. All things that I’ve been lacking because fandom stuff is easier. I need to find stuff that makes me happy that doesn’t depend on outside factors. But also I want to make sure that if a show is all you have, that’s okay and is even more okay to feel betrayed. I was an absolute mess a few years ago when a show I adored stabbed their fans in the back, but it gets better. You still get angry remembering you were done dirty but I promise that the memories that stick are the positive ones.

I don’t wanna go on a deleting spree but I also don’t want to be reminded of this hurtful moment as the wound is still fresh, so I’m deciding to reevaluate some things offline, like I did with previous fandoms, and come back when I’m ready. I don’t think I’ll leave tumblr or never watch/talk about 911 again but I need some time and space from it so I can feel better. I don’t want to doom scroll through the tags like I did tonight. What Ryan Murphy, Tim Minear and Oliver Stark did to us was awful, but the best thing I can do is not let these three men influence my mental health. I won’t let a tv show ruin me because it’s not my fault. It’s not our fault to believe that there were half decent people in the entertainment industry that cares about the portrayal of queer individuals. They will have to sleep at night with that knowledge and deal with the consequences from the BoBs. And if these guys decide to humor the BoBs that’s their funeral. It would further show they never cared about representation and just wanted to save face after making so many people miserable for simply enjoying a canon ship. I hope they can see the consequences because I’m not even the target here. I’m hurt for all the queer men that saw themselves in buck and tommy, that even messaged the actors thanking them for their honest portrayal.

In conclusion, here’s my goodbye (for now).

Thank you so much bucktommy nation!

Yall are the best,

Love, Lety 🖤

[ohbo-ohno]

Thinking about like… reader with long hair. Not even a fem reader, just reader with long hair in general! You can’t tell me Ghost and Soap wouldn’t LOVE that shit.

Like for cute, soft moments (or some fucked up hurt/comfort) you have them doing readers hair, carding their fingers through it. Running their hands over readers scalp and scratching it gently, tugging on the strands to get their attention, things like that!! And it also leans into he like… pup thing (how dare you get me into that /j) because head scratches are the absolute best.

And it opens up so much opportunities! Grabbing reader by the hair if their being bad and dragging them, yanking their head back, etc. I feel like Ghost would be an ass and threaten to cut it to make the reader miserable if their acting ornery, although I think it depends which version it is as whether or not he will. In general I think no, he seems like he’s like long hair, especially for grabbing purposes.

Love your stuff btw!!

-🐚

i personally like to think that soap grew up with multiple (several multiple, like 4) sisters, so he's just Really Good at being close with women. i think he would love doing your hair at any length, but if you've got longer hair and you let him style it, he'll be damn near worshipful (no im not giving johnny a dollification kink again why do you ask)

also like. there is nothing more intimate than washing a partner's hair, and that intimacy is just so much more delicious if the partner doesn't want their hair washed, yk? like, the violation of that boundary makes the initimacy itself so much More. with soap and ghost, them doing your hair is just another way to exert control, to make (and keep) you perfect for them - which is why they love it and you hate it

(ghost prefers your hair down so he can gather it in one fist when he fucks your face, soap prefers elaborate but not structurally sound hairstyles so he can see just how much he's wrecking you as your hair slowly gets messier and messier)

[doctor-says-im-alright]

Agree but also hard disagree. As someone who has been in 12 for over a year in totals worth of inpatient - they are a *necessity.* Like I would not be alive otherwise or someone else wouldnt be. Are they fucking awful? Yes. I HATE them. They are miserable and a special sense of trapped and helpless.

Because it has to be.

Now, look. We really havent come that far from ye olde practices in psych wards including forced lobotomy, electrocution, and forceful restraint.

But we are also not there still. There are laws creeping up. You have rights, and yes some people in hospitals certainly do bend those definitions and is illegal, but the justice system is a joke EVERYWHERE, not necessarily just here. Also depends on your country, Im speaking from the US.

I hear the point of people fighting psych wards but they are also incredibly unhelpful and unrealistic. You cannot get rid of them. They have to exist. They absolutely need intense reform, but you do need to remember because you dont need that and its excessive for you, it isnt the case for someone else.

There are a lot of good people working in psych, however the intensity of the job and the abuse towards the workers has destroyed them. Also the benefits are shit. Frankly Im not sure how to solve that problem other than more people need to work and it needs to pay way better. Because you cant really get out of the aspect where patients desire to murder you.

Your situation does not apply to many of the people who need hospitals. I have been in 12. I can feel another one potentially around the corner. It has been absolutely essential. I do not like it, ive had horrible problems just from being in them, I dont even care for being alive, but it did what it was meant to.

Inpatients are for guaranteed safety. What you may have wanted instead is residential or php, which are less intense and more homely, while still really high levels of care. They actually treat, not stabilize. I do wish the levels of care were more accessible and integrated

and here is the thing. all psych wards are bad. every single one. I don’t think there is such a thing as a good psych ward—I’m willing to believe that there are some good people who work in psych wards, who have good intentions, and who might end up helping some people. but the psych ward as a whole? There are no good psych wards. The structure of a psych ward inherently prevents it from being good. Even if you personally think you had a good experience in a psych ward, most likely what that means is that the abusive practices weren’t used on you. But those things are still there. even if you weren’t put into solitary confinement, it is extremely likely that your psych ward still had a room for that. even if you weren’t drugged without your consent, it is very likely other people were being drugged without consent!! even if you weren’t strip searched, or tied to your bed, or starved…it is VERY likely that your psych ward has protocols for all these things and regularly does them to many people who come through the ward! And it is vital to think about how your race, class, and other identities affected your experience before making broad claims about things “never happening” in psych wards.

Psych wards are inherently violent, oppressive, and unethical based solely on the fact that they are a form of incarceration, but even beyond that? If a psych ward is committed to enforcing compliance and incarceration, it is going to have some of those abusive measures that I listed above, and that is going to be standard protocol. Even if there are good people working in a psych ward, their reach is going to be limited—the power of the institution means that they constantly have to weigh the decision to break the rules and help someone, or to follow violent protocols. Most clinicians and staff will choose not to lose their job and even if they find it personally distasteful, will still choose to enable these types of violence. Good people on the inside are not able to fundamentally change the reality of what psych wards are and what they can do.

I strongly believe that people who say they have good experiences are the outlier and also are likely to be white and rich. Even if people don’t think that their experience was abusive, a lot of people generally find it boring, unhelpful, and mediocre. And so, so many people are experiencing abuse in a daily fucking basis in these places. Even if there are individuals who manage to escape the worst of a psych ward, the fact that the psych ward has the power, structure, and protocol to do these things to anyone is a problem.

[bubblegumbeyotch]

.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[cognitosclowns]

can i get some interactions within the gang please,,? i'm starving for content and ur ramvles r my everything <3

ABSOLUTELY YOU CAN <3

all sfw!! just some cute shit between <3 <3 the gang

tw : driving, cars - brief mentions of car crashes.

OKAY SO SMTH THATS BEEN POSITIVELY ROCKING MY BRAIN THIS WEEK HAS BEEN THE IDEA OF,, 

TEAM ROADTRIP??

FOR A MISSION?? FOR NO SPECIFIC REASON?? GOD I JUST WANT THESE CLOWNS TRAPPED IN A CAR FOR A WEEK, ON THE VERGE OF KILLING EACH OTHER <3 I HAVE NO EXCUSE I JUST THINK THIS WOULD BE SO CUTE

IM BREAKING THIS DOWN INTO SECTIONS BC IM FERAL.

-

VROOM VROOM

Good drivers!

Glenn! Responsible father! Good driver!!

Reagan!! got her license as young as she could. She was already driving herself a lot of places before she was licensed, bc her parents weren’t reliable enough to bring her places.

Fine drivers

Surprisingly?? Myc is like?? a decent driver?? sure he gets distracted sometimes and will run a few red lights but there are no fatalities so,, that honestly better than some ppl.

Gigi hates driving. so much. it’s so mind numbing. She can drive fine, she just hates it sdms.

Don’t let them behind the wheel please god

Brett : SUCH AN ANXIOUS DRIVER. he looks 3: the entire time. merging onto traffic involves a lot of nervous grimacing smdns. He would much rather be the DJ than be in front of the wheel. If he wasn’t so nervous he’d be very good!!

Andre : he,, is never sober. Just,,, no. smndsd he is not even considered (which he prefers, 

‘Drive? What a ridiculous question - I’m the most advanced being ever created, and you’re asking me if I can drive?” (Robotus gets distracted and rear-ends someone. Sulks for the rest of the day.)

-

They agree on the ‘driver picks the music’ rule, because otherwise the entire roadtrip would be arguing about what music to put on. Unsurprisingly, they end up with certain.. Pair Ups?

Brett always takes shotgun when Glenn drives, bc they both Unironically Love Country Music. Everyone else is in pain.

Myc and Robotus at the front = Two Wine Aunts Gossiping. Myc gets dibs on the music and they both just,, complain. Make snarky comments about other drivers.

Surprisingly calm considering,, usually Myc torments Robotus when they’re in Cognito? Who knows maybe the Fresh Air gives Myc A Single Fuck To Give About Getting Along With Others. Or its because Robotus isn’t in his tube, and can now smack Myc if he pisses him off. the world will never know.

Myc and Andre is,, not allowed bc Andre is gonna give Myc a stupid idea and depending on his mood Myc just go ‘hell yea’ and swerve the car-

Andre and Gigi is,, A Gaggle Of Teens On Their Way Back From A Concert. That is to say, shout-screaming songs until everyone else in the car is either joining in, or deaf. Amazing pair for the afternoon to get everyone’s energy up.

Reagan + Brett = naptime. Usually they take the night-shift for driving bc,, Reagan is nocturnal and Brett never runs outta energy. Even if it isn’t, the ambience in the car gets so peaceful that everything just,, melts away. Reagan is quietly nodding her head to the music, Brett is staring out the window, maybe doing little dance moves during The Good Parts of The Songs. Overall, just very sweet. (if its during the day, its practically the same except Reagan Cusses Out Stupid Drivers At Random Intervals MSNDDS)

OK SOME MISC STUFF 

Brett already knows everyone’s favorite snacks, so when they stop for gas he’s in charge of grabbing food!!

Myc and Robotus are,, not allowed to leave the car for obvious reasons. :( they don’t wanna need to mindwipe a bunch of people just bc Myc wanted to flirt with the gas station attendant. Anyone else who decided to stay in the car will receive their Commentary on all the passersby.

Robotus pretends to be miserable but he’s gonna be the first one to go ‘!!!!’ when they drive past Historical Monuments smdns. he secretly appreciates them bringing him,, being allowed out of Cognito is a nice reward.

Brett says ‘dog’ when they pass a dog. Eventually everyone is doing it <3 Myc purposefully yells out the wrong animal.

Reagan absolutely tampers with the car to make it need less fuel.

SORRY THIS WAS SUPER LONG,, I JUST LOVE THIS TROPE SO MUCH <3 SMNDSMD

[mxbitters]

this is gonna get really personal and possibly more of a vent than mcrposting but now that the shows over i can actually think about it and like. god idk i think fake your death was a song that really meant a lot to me at a time when i really needed it.  it was one of the first songs i taught myself on guitar when i started playing and i could tell myself that, that it wasn’t anyone else who did that but it was me.  and so like, ok i went to this arts high school.  idea is they had these different departments, and so like my first year i went in and decided ok.  music department.  so there were these like.. “auditions” but like you were guaranteed to land somewhere y’know?  but i remember clear as yesterday six years ago i was 14 and fucking miserable with no way of understanding why that was, i was probably wearing this teal and black flannel i had and i was also probably wearing a beanie and fucking hated my hair which was still long at the time.  and i remember like shaking while tuning my guitar and i remember saying what i was gonna play to these maybe two teachers, head of the department didnt even bother showing up, and im sitting there in that uncomfortable plastic chair and they start recording and i start playing.  intro, first half of verse, im not singing but im feeling somewhat more comfortable and start to get into some sort of more involved strumming thing and they just cut me off before i could show them that thing i worked so hard and cared so much about.  and i remember how that moment kicked off a miserable year for me, getting burnt out so fast fingers bleeding from this classical fucking guitarist absolutely drilling in this idea that it was bad if i wanted to play anything with a pick.  and i felt gross and i didn’t understand shit and i remember snapping pick after pick in half from the anxiety and the downward spiral that followed.  and i could barely tell you what i actually remember from that year until some point in may when i came out as trans, maybe around the same time that i started the process of leaving the music department.  and i remember having a lot of trouble playing guitar because of the amount of kids who’d shit on me for writing stuff that was emo.  i think i spent those two semesters and maybe the next year too barely listening to mcr at all because i was embarrassed and ashamed from the way people would shut down that drive, that passion.  but then i remember my drive coming back a little.  i remember having this class in my junior year that was like some school of rock shit, i got to play in a band for the first time and not some stupid thing.  we brought in music we liked and wanted to play.  i brought in against me!’s “borne on the fm waves of the heart” and i remember the way it felt being able to like.. do that.  like that feeling of floating on air that i hadn’t felt ever since that time i started opening up playing fake your death for something i’d end up regretting.  i remember playing up on this mini stage thing at this all-day event we used to have called “peacefest.”  i remember playing with a pick and shout-singing like my life depended on it and i remember seeing that former guitar teacher walk by hiding his face, and i don’t know if it was out of shame or disgust but it was cathartic to see it.  that he failed and didn’t break me, even if that was the last thing on his mind.  i still have the converse i had to fill in with black sharpie because it was “too unprofessional” for a fucking high school performance.  i also still have the footstand he let me use for that performance because it was more important that i was uniform than anything else.  and he’s never getting that fucking footstand back.  and i remember that summer i think i finally picked up my own guitar and played fake your death.  a little different, acoustic, keeping my pinkie on that g the majority of the time and letting the song carry me.  it felt like meeting an old friend.  an old friend who waited for me even when things got scary and i didn’t know what to do.  and like.. i dunno.  i never really thought they’d actually get back together and i was starting to truly accept that but then one day everything changed and it was history.  

i think i’ve been at a low point for a bit now, and college has created this mindset where playing music=burden so i’ve been uninspired and sort of restraining myself alongside the depression but like.. man.  maybe it’s time to pick up my guitar again.  i think fake your death is one of those songs that means one thing at one point in your life and another like.. in another.  and i think that was honestly probably the same case for mcr y’know..?  and like.. idk.  maybe while i’m at it i’ll dig through the vaults aka try and find lyrics, poetry, recordings, whatever.  like..  man.  i just keep forgetting how magical music is but tonight was fucking magical and i want to feel that regularly.  i want the sparks to fucking fly i want to scream i want to play i want to let that poor 14 year old with the nerd glasses and the jack skellington beanie play the same 4 chords in varying ways for 3 whole minutes and hold their hand and tell them it’s gonna be ok.  like i think i really need to do that.  anyway ok goodnight

[peachysnzs]

genshin snz headcanons

i caved here are literally All my genshin snz headcanons cause im thinkin so hard rn

albedo

def sneezes in fits but tries to stifle whenever possible

uses his elbow most of the time, but sometimes when hes especially deep in a fit he ends up just sneezing desperately in the air

quiet and breathy

tries to make his sneezes as discrete as possible but the further in fits he gets, the more desperate his sneezes sound

every time he has a buildup to a sneeze, he kinda just shudders leadin up to it yknow

he always tries to be cautious and not get anyone sick when he is sick bless him

ok this fucker inhabits an ice mountain theres no way he doesnt get at least a *couple* colds

mona

sneezes in likes twos, threes

this is so unoriginal bcs hydro vision but like her sneezes are def at least a bit wet-sounding

uses tissues when avaliable, but if not she just kinda turns to the side

loud and high-pitched

she sneezes relatively suddenly and it takes her by surprise sometimes

tbh mona feels like somebody who’d have allergies and being all sniffly and miserable looking and still try to deny that shes allergic to anything and that youre stupid for thinking so. very tsundere.

speaking of sniffly her nose probably just constantly runs like a tap when shes sick

she wouldnt even try to keep her germs to herself and would be disgusted at sick ppl even if she was the one to get you sick

hu tao

literally almost never sneezes* but when she does its singles

uses her elbow and covers her mouth, ty hu tao for being a good snz role model

kinda low and naturally soft

long ass fucking buildups! her nose just kinda itches for a whole two minutes and her breath wavers before she sneezes quickly

so for the asterisk * i kinda lied, she sneezes up a storm only when sick, she has kinda a subpar immune systme so whenever shes sick she just is stuck with sneezng consistently through the whole day til shes dizzy

jean

also sneezes in singles, occasional doubles

alternates between using hankerchiefs if avaliable or just her elbow

i feel like jean is the type of person to like excuse herself right before succumbing to a fit

small sneezes, decently graceful

i feel like shed had a dust allergy honestly

jean literally will not take sick days even when she has awful colds, and while she tries not to get ppl sick she does a kinda awful job at it

amber

two to four usually

elbow once again, but sometimes when shes gliding she cant really use her arms so she just sneezes in the air

squeaky def, high pitched

she def has hayfever and one day opens her glider and its just covered in pollen

no build ups to her sneeze, just a sharp inhale and then the snz

eula

we already saw her snz so

either single sneezes or long ass fits, no inbetween

sneezes into her gloves, but when her sneezes start to get messy she switches to a hankerchief

breathy and feminine

cyro characters get colds cause i say so

no fr tho eula just miserable w a cold and just constantly having to duck foward and sneeze into her gloves

half of her cold is her denying shes sick even when she looks absolutely horrible and the other half is complaining about how miserable she feels and demanding people to do things for her

childe

doubles usually

he sneezes into the air or in his hands this fucker would never sneeze in his elbow

messy and desperate

long! ass! fucking! buildups! he tries to hide the hitching with his builds ups but hes not at all good at it

his sneezes get so much messier the sicker he is, until hes practically just dripping

dont be decieved by the way he hides being sick, he desperately craves being coddled whenever hes sick because of his home life

suprisingly good at caretaking

diluc

triples and quadruples i feel like

elbow primarily, but sometimes uses tissues

loud and rough

he tries so hard to hide his allergies but it never works because his sneezes are always so loud

fuck it give him all the allergies

his voice gets stuffy so quickly when even in like a five foot vicinity of flowers, and his nose itches so much to the point where it feels like hes just constantly building up to another sneeze

has probably sneezed on someones drink at least once while he had a cold

kaeya

almost only fits and he fucking hates it

he usually pinches his nose to stifle but if he cant manage he either quickly goes for the elbow or just ducks his head down and sneezes towards the floor

shaky and itchy-sounding if that makes sense

yknow that little gasp people do sometimes before sneezing i feel like hed do that

never takes sick days unless forced to by jean or diluc, and ends up shambling through his daily tasks shaky and feverish and sneezy

he tries to stifle but it really does not work

rosaria

singles, and if u catch her sneezing she’ll probably make you swear to silence

literally just in the elbow

honestly i feel like shed sneeze like a kitten, or just really high and femme

she sees being sick/allergic as a sign of weakness so fights sneezing very hard. like u can see the visible effort she makes pinching her nose and shit after her breath hitches even once

also one of those dumbasses that stifle way too much and doesnt take sickdays

ningguang

doubles unless shes allergic, then its fits

she has a fancy ass lace hankerchief she carries w her speficially for snzs to look ‘proper’

she forces her sneezes to be elegant, sneezing naturally is loud tho

small buildups but v audible breaths building up to a sneeze

she has a good immune system but when she does get sick she gets it bad and tries to cover up her flushed face and red nose with makeup

without people around her she just lets herself be miserable while sneezes, lettting out small little “..guh...” after a particularly bad fit

beidou

doubles or triples

beidou would also like never use her elbow, shed sneeze in her fist even if the sneeze is messy as hell

loud and proud of it

look all im saying is beidou is a walking health hazard whenever sick, she doesnt try at all to keep colds to herself and can and wil sneeze into her hand only to shake yours seconds later 

no buildups, just sudden sneezes that scare the shit out of people tho

very very fucking messy

half the time does not care if shes sick, she doesnt really feel like she needs to take sick days because she doesnt feel that bad and stuff like that

lisa

singles and occasional doubles

she keeps tissues on her and uses them relatively often

delicate and proper

the idea of lisa having a dust allergy is just everything to me, like she blows off dust from a book and ends up stuck for a few minutes with her nostrils flaring until she finally sneezes desperately into a tissue

rarely gets sick, but when she does milks the hell out of it to be as lazy as possible. like “oh im feeling so awful rn, maybe a kiss will make me feel better?~”

venti

fits fits fits

hands or elbows, really depends on how hard the sneeze hits him

decently loud and a bit high pitched

look venti is an anemo god all im saying is when he sneezes the wind picks up, and when he has fits its enough to push you over

to remedy this he just avoids everyone when sick and avoids cats with a a passion

buildups are very breathy and desperate

his nose runs so much near cats and he makes a godddamn mess of himself the longer hes around them

cats absolutely love him regardless

xiao

he gets fits only bcs i say so

literally either just the air or his hands because nobody ever taught him that he should like cover his mouth properly when sneezing

quiet but messy

the idea of xiao w just torturuous buildups does something for me. he’ll be stuck there w his breath hitching and hazy eyes for like a whole minute before he finally just ducks into his hand and makes a mess of himself

he does not understand being sick and absolutely hates it when he does get sick, 100% tries to power through it and ends up a fucking mess by the end of the day

his sneezes get stuck so often

his nose gets so fucking flushed and twitchy after a while of sneezing

ganyu

doubles or triples

sneezes in her elbow most of the time

soft and low

when she gets sick she gets so sleepy, her sneezes just kinda draw all the energy outta her and she usually ends up taking a nap

shes allergic to dogs too bcs why not

she doesnt want to bother people when sick or get them sick too so she usually takes copious sickdays until shes absolutely certain that she cant get anyone sick

zhongli

triples literally always for some reason

either into his fist or into a hankerchief

low and masculine, a bit loud

doing the same god shtick with him, the floor tends to shake whenever he gets particularly sneezy and stuff on cupboards can and will fall over when in the vicinity

no buildups really, hell just be in the middle of talking and then he blinks a bit and then sneezes roughly

he doesnt really take sick days but he doesnt really deny hes sick either, just kinda tries to get through the day despite feeling awful

[fakeloveaskblog]

Hi, me again. Aaaaaaaaaaaaah! Snail, you have the cutest little frog ever, it looks absolutely adorable. Also I’m sorry that Aziraphale didn’t make it, hope you’re doing okay.

Also Lukas, I love that you incorporate us Watchers into the story as friends to the characters and not just random voices that ask questions then shut up. I love writing asks talking to each of the characters differently depending on my relationship with them, and I get ridiculously happy when they respond. I love the thought that they think of me as a friend. (Yes I am aware that they are fictional characters but you write them so well that sometimes it feels like they are actual people.)

I chuckled at the “except for maybe Virgil” considering that there have been assassination attempts by some other Watchers. I think I’m probably the closest Watcher to Virgil and even then I’m more of an unofficial therapist than a friend. Poor Virgil hasn’t done well in the friend department in regards to Watchers, or non-void people either. (And by “poor Virgil” I mean that he clearly missed the memo on not abusing your partner because you want to feel powerful.

Also I love the idea of all the characters except for Virgil (And Remy’s dad and Oswald.) standing around with badges from each Watcher that say stuff like “I’m friends with 🕸🐌.” Or “I’m friends with Ghost.” And then there’s just Virgil (And the previously mentioned jerks.) standing in a corner with badges saying stuff like “I had The Local Demon try to smother me with a pillow.” It makes me chuckle.

Glow Eyes

aww well the only way i could have put in the watchers as much as i do is bc you lovelies regularly send asks CC: im glad it makes you happy. I DO have an au that partially takes place in hell so having watchers named stuff like "The local demon" and "Ghost (whomst throws cups)" would be so funny in that context.

btw thanks so much to i think it was the Demon who started calling the askers for "Watchers" it sounds so cool.

Also like. please imagine me like leaning closer to the screen and whispering. don't tell Virgil i said this because he would never admit it but he does secretly see the Watchers as his friends. Friends that he absolutely HATES but still friends. mostly bc he doesnt have any other friends fdhjkdfh but he would feel really empty and miserable if the watchers stopped trying to throw kitchen utensils at him

Virgil having a badge with “I had The Local Demon try to smother me with a pillow” nearly made me laugh out loud right in sex ed class so fuck you for that /j

the badge idea is very cute tho fghkj Remy's dad is dead so im just imaginng a corpse wit fuckingghdfkjhdkj. i think im funny sometimes.

[queenofwerewolves]

Future Hope - chapter 1.5 - Practice Makes Perfect

Our heroes didnt get their powers and knew from night to day how to manage them, especially those who had physical changes to their body. Our soon-to-be heroes were all reunited in Maria's house, they had planed to spend the afternoon practing and exploring their new limits and abilities, all helping eitch other.

They decided since Griff had the biggest change, they would focus on him first. At the moment they were out in backyard, eitch one giving suggestions on what to begin first.

"Pick us all up at once with your new muscles!" Said Muffin excitedly. "That's still too light! Pick us all up plus Maria's car" Said Spike, chewing once again on a bubblegum.

"You all leave Hellride out of this!" Maria responded angrily. "That car was expensive as fuck and I refuse to go back to a life of Ubers!" She crossed her arms, indignified.

"You named your car?" Kip answered from high up a tree branch, as cats do. "I name all my belongings, what of it?" Maria answered. "And they're all cool names, too".

"Hellride? Really?" Spiked scoffed. "Because she rides fast as Hell! Look can we get back on track and find something for Griff to test his strenght?!" Maria answered nervously with a touch of embarrassment.

"Unless we find an Indiana Jones boulder for him to spin on his finger like a damn basketball we arent gonna get any damn progress!" Spike shouted back.

Maria sighed and shook her head. "I hate it when you have a point.." Griff nervously scratched the back of his head. "There must be something we can do.." He quietly mumbled out.

"I got it!" Muffin shouted, they all turned to face her. "I forgot Im a fairy! I can just poof something up!" She said excitedly. Everyone stared at her with either a confused or shocked look.

"..How... Do you FORGET that you're a fairy?!" Spike blurted out nervously. "You have fucking wings! How does one forget they have huge pink glittery wings?!"

Muffin just shrugged.

Maria smiled wide. "OK Muffin, give us something huge and heavy for Griff to use!" Muffin nodded and grabbed her wand which had a muffin on the tip. "Wand cook, beat and bake! Give us a big large and tasty cupcake!" She waved her wand and out appeared from a bunch of pink glittery smoke, a nearly two-story house tall chocolate cupcake.

"... Why a cupcake..?" Blink asked as she peeked behind her mask, in slight awe and wanting to secretly a bite out of it. "I can only make sweets!" Muffin said with a shy tone. "Im not a fighter like you guys, I only want to make people happy and eat candy!"

"That is certainly the biggest pastry I've ever seen! So large and beautiful, I bet tasty as well!" "Not to mention DIABETIC AS HELL!!! We could die from a heart attack eating that! Or worse, we could get fat! Even fatter! And become even uglier then we already are! This is too overwealming I need a nap!"

Rooko and Rooki suddenly spoke, almost taking everyone off guard on how their friend Rook is suddenly two split personalities now based on the Youtube character ENA, one is always happy while the other is always sad, and depending on the situation they can go Manic or Miserable.

"OK Griff, show us what you can do!" Maria shouted excitedly. Without missing a second, Griff bent over and gripped the edge of the massive cupcake, after struggling a bit he slowly but surely, lifted the entire thing over his head, smiling proudly.

His friends cheered and applauded proudly. Feeling satisfied, he dropped the cupcake and dusted the chocolate crumbs off his hands and fur. "Yokusei!" He shouted, and with a naruto-like smoke poof, he turned back to his human self. Maria ran and hugged him tightly, which Griff embraced and hugged back with a slight twirl.

"Griff you were amazing!!" Maria said with a proud tone, Griff slightly blushed pink at the small punk girl and her excitement. "Oh shucks, it was nothing.." He said with a shy tone.

"Well, and seems we concluded Griffin's training." Togekiss said as they took a sip of tea. "He jump twice as high as a two-story house, his punches and kicks can knock down brick walls and possibly more if we werent limited on objects to test it with, he can hear twice as much then a dog could with his ears, and his sense of smell is impecable. Truly Griff is a strong asset to our team."

"I can only train my powers at night.." Said Spooks, holding an umbrella to protect her from the sun, now that it injures her. "Muffin's power is only sweet making. Togekiss has exceptional I.Q and can see simulations in the future like Garnet in Steven Universe, along with their strong telekenisis, and Kip simply draws whatever she desires, whether alive or not and it becomes a reality... That means it's Rook's turn to show us what she can do" She finished.

"Wonderful! It's our time to shine!" "I-I-I not ready! Everyone's gonna laugh at us! I-I might piss myself in fear!" "Oh pull yourself together dear! Our friends wont laugh at us!" "How do we know that?! They're just waiting to correct us on a dumb mistake!!!"

Rook's body shook and twitched as her eyes turned to static, suddenly her entire eyes turned black with a blue iris, she turned Miserable.

"They're gonna laugh and point at our foolish selves, we're gonna be so embarrassed that we'll wish that the Earth will swallow us whole and just fucking kill us now!! Go ahead! Laugh at us and our misfortune!!!"

"ooh shit" Maria said. "can someone calm her down?"

Rook's eyes change to regular as her Miserable side went away. "No need my good Queen! We are completly fine! Now prepare to be dazzled as we show you all what we can do!" q

Rook pulled out a harry potter-like wooden wand, waved it around. "Bloom and Blossom and protect who I love! Rise my pretties, rise high and above!" Rooki shot an orange light at the grass, which made dozens of flowers bloom and grow around Spike and Blink.

"This is only one of my tricks! It's a shield that protects them from almost anything! My main weakness is fire, because while plants are beautiful, they are also sadly very, very flammable"

"Cool." Said Spike before using his bat to aggressivly hit the flowers and the vines aside so he and Blink could leave.

"M-M-My turn I guess!" Rook took hold of the wand and waved it in circles. "Razzle Dazzle Shine and Show, make their body move it low!" Rooko shot a blue light at Spooks, which made unwillingly and uncontrolably start dancing and as the spell said, make her go low.

"O-OH GOD SOMEONE MAKE IT STOP I DONT LIKE HOW MY BUTT IS MOVING THIS MUCH!!" She shouted in desperation as she made a split and moved it even lower.

"M-My deal is with music! I-It works as a way of distraction o-or hypnosis and it lasts for 30 minutes un-le-less I say otherwise! I-I know it's a sucky power!"

"OK COOL CAN I STOP DANCING PLEASE IM GETTING A CRAMP!!!" Yelled Spooks, practically begging. Rooko flicked her wand and Spooks fell on the ground, panting. "OH MY POOR HAMSTRINGS THEY ACHE!!" She yelled in utter pain, meanwhile Maria and Spike were absolutely losing it.

"O-OH GOD MY STOMACH HURTS-" Said Spike in between laughter.

"OK you guys cool it" Said Blink. "It's our turn to practice now. We're the only ones who use regular weapons." She said drawing her sword and positioning her mask back in place.

"O-OK! OK!" Maria said getting up, she pulled out a small staff and whipped it, making it stretch out wide into a full, large red and black scythe, with a rose print on the blade. Spike spun his bat and spat his gum out.

"So. Who's ass Im kicking first?" Said Spike. "Wait on second thought this might be unfair." Said Blink. "Me and Maria had blades while Spike has a bat, maybe we should-"

Before she could finish, Spike swung his bat and hit Blink sword, knocking it out of her hand before kicking her back at the ground. Blink fell back hard before she could even process what happen, dumbfounded but angry, she snarled. "Oh it's on now Motherfucker." She extended her hand and the sword flew back to her hand, as she charged towards Spike, who moved out of the way as soon as Blink swung her sword, which if he hadnt been for Maria's scythe, would have sliced her right up.

"Dude! Chill! This is a pratice!" Maria spoke as both of their blades were against eitch other. Blink hopped and flipped over her and landed on a tree branch, croutching like a ninja. She put her hands together and in a small puff of smoke and disappeared. Spike and Maria were back to back, ready to counterattack Blink, what they didnt expect was for her to attack from underground.

Buring up from the dirt, she got both of them off their feet and charged after Spike, who barely managed to regain his balance before his using bat his block Blink's sword. A back and forth of clash-clings-and-clangs between metal begun, one attacking the other but eitch blocking every attack again and again.

Spike ducked a sword slash and roundhouse kick Blink's leg, which was effective since she's practically a ninja. She backflipped back on her feet and kept attacking swiftly. But a sudden scythe blade cut in between them, stopping the fight.

"That's enough!!!" Maria shouted. "You both are gonna end up hurting yourselves or eitch other! im ending it now!!"

"Oh what the hell dude?!" Blink shouted indignified. "I was about to beat him!!" "Oh please." Answered Spike. "Was that the best you could do? Sakura could do a better job kicking my ass" He scoffed. They began to argue loudly, genuinely angry at eitch other.

"THAT"S ENOUGH!!!!" Maria shouted, making them, and everyone else look at her.

"It doesnt matter would win that fight! This was a practice and not a competition!! The point of us being a team and getting powers in the first place was for all of us to make the world a better place, but the only way that can happen is if all of us work together!! As a team!!!"

They stood in silence, listening to her talk and set them straight.

"As cheesy as that sounds, it's true!! We shouldnt fight eitch other like this, you're not just my friends, we're all friends with eitch other! We all go along well and we know that, that's why I got you all together, because no one can bond better in a team then all of us together!!!"

"... She's right." Togekiss added, walking towards them. "We all started as simple individuals with free time on a website, but we all shared common interests, we grew closer.. And suddenly like that, we all became friends.. A family, if you will."

"We take care of eitch other and look out for one another." Said Spooks.

"Just like how you all did for me.. When I almost died. Almost died because of the shit and violent world we live in." Maria said.. With a slight crack in her voice.

"You're bringing in the same violence that almost killed me.. So please.. Please stop fighting.. We're all in this together.. Right..?"

Spike and Blink dropped their weapons and hugged Maria, and everyone else joined in as well.

"You're right, we're sorry Queen." Said Spike. "We got overwhealmed and we didnt mean it. We wont fight again, because you're right." Added Blink.

"We only have eitch other in this world, and if we want to change it we have to stick together, just like you said." Spike said one more time.

"And we wont let you down.. We promise.." Griff finished, with everyone agreeing with what he said.

And so they stayed for a moment, embraced within eitch other in a group hug. A family isnt perfect, there will be disagreements, but a good bond will always overcome those disagreements, and that's what they had, a good bond.

A bond that's practically unbreakable and untaintable. A bond that will soon be ready, and fight together to make the world a better place.

A bond that will the world's Future Hope..

[redrabbitspod]

hey I'm the person who transitioned and I need to say that I'm a little (maybe very) delighted now, so a huge thank you for the support 💓 I was miserable for years when my hair was relaxed, it just didn't feel right and I completely hated it, so now I'm out of the world with happiness because like CURLS ARE BACK BITCHES AND YES I WOULD LOVE SOME RECS, MY CURL PATTERN IS 3C AS WELL THANK YOU VERY MUCH

OOC: :O :O :O :O :O  OMFG OKAY FIRST OFF YAAASSSSS IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!

so the protein treatment i use is the aphogee two step treatment. I forgot to get the balancing moisturizer, but I used a good deep conditioner that I know moisturizes my hair instead and that was perfect for me. Whenever I see my hair getting a bit dull or any breakage, i know its time for a treatment which i do every 6 weeks or so. 

I’m really excited because this last washday I feel like Ive found the perfect combination of products for me, so all my curls were extremely defined and the gel cast broke after one day. and the shrinkage was MINIMUM. so! I use the Not your mothers matcha green tea whatever the fuck shampoo and conditioner which I LOVE. I feel like ive tried absolutely everything (I don’t like their curl defining line!) but Im most impressed with this. I have high porosity hair too, so I can soak up a lot of moisture just fine, but I cant actually keep it. This product leaves my hair feeling super moisturized, so so soft, easy to detangle, and overall I’m really happy. I also love the deep conditioner that goes with this line. It gets the job done really well! 

I also sometimes use this hood for when I  want to penetrate my curls. I usually keep every deep conditioner in for about 30min-1 hour depending on how much time I’ve got. 

when i’m done, I’ll spray aloe juice all over my head which i have no clue how effective it is, but I’ve been doing it and idk. It’s fine lol. If you’re interested tho, here’s the one I use!

After that, I put in a leave in. Ive tried SO MANY. I’m using the Blueberry bliss right now, but it’s not my favorite. It gets the job done though! I also really like the oil-in leave in by CurlSmith quite a bit (A little goes a long way! Which is NOT A THING WHEN IT COMES TO MY HAIR BUT I MEAN IT). And the TGIN honey butter cream daily moisturizer is also really nice!

But here’s the best combo I’ve found so far. I really, really, REALLY love Miss Jessies products. I try to stay away from silicones, but the multicultural curls gel/styler is so so SO good. This past wash day i used the coily custard and loved it, but not on it’s own. With that, I used the Aunt Jackies flax seed anti-shrinkage gel and HO BUDDY. NEW FAVORITE GEL. IT’S SO SO SOOOOOO GOOD. MY CURLS ARE LIGHT AND SEPARATED AND CHEFS KISS SO SO GOOD. 

So after I’ve deep conditioned, sprayed the aloe, applied my leave in, the coily custard, and aunt jackies, I used my denman brush to distribute it all throughout my hair. Then I separate into four sections and quickly shingle all of my curls. Which bitch - I gotta lot. Then i diffuse which I literally never believed in, but wow what a fucking game changer. 

Let me know if there are any other products that you’ve tried or want to try! I feel like I’ve literally tried them all istg. 

Oh! And just to show you my hair journey ^^ 

This was 2 years ago and about a year after my own big chop!

And here was a few weeks ago!

DM me on @bloodydamnit or send your messages there if you wanna chat more!!!! 

[neuxue]

Wheel of Time liveblogging: Towers of Midnight prologue (part 3)

Levelling up and last stands

Graendal to Galad, and now Galad to Padan Fain. It’s like alignment whiplash.

The sky was black. A tempest. He liked that, though he hated the one who caused it.

This is great because there’s just a hint of ambiguity to who that actually may be. Rand? Or the Dark One? And when you have to ask, even for a second…well, that’s sort of the point, isn’t it.

Hatred. It was the proof that he still lived, the one emotion left.

Well, that’s one more than Rand at any rate.

(Pre-Dragonmount, I mean).

Padan Fain exists to chew scenery and you know what buddy? Chew away. Live your dreams.

Did his hatred cause that storm? It must be so. Yes.

Sorry Fain; pretty sure Rand has first claim on I am the storm. He just carries it better, you see. It’s a good look on him and we don’t mess with that.

I typo-ed that as ‘it’s a god look on him’ and really… either way.

When you accepted madness into yourself – embraced it and drank it in as if it were sunlight or water or the air itself – it became another part of you.

I’m mostly amused by how similar this sounds to the wording of Egwene thinking of how the Aiel handle pain. In this case I don’t think it’s particularly intentional or meaningful or anything, but it amuses me.

Another part of you. Like a hand or an eye.

Not sure those are the best examples, given Rand and also very likely at some point Mat, but sure.

He was finally free.

Has something changed? Oh, wait. Is this the first we’ve seen of him since saidin was cleansed? And Shadar Logoth destroyed? I think it is, in which case… interesting. Particularly interesting since it doesn’t seem to have affected the dagger’s power – Fain’s still obsessed with his precious, at any rate – and last we heard Rand’s wound(s) hadn’t healed. But Shadar Logoth was destroyed, and its power seemingly with it, more or less, and so now Fain or Mordeth or Smeagol or whoever he is these days is free, in a manner of speaking. That’ll end well for everyone involved, I’m sure.

Oh he killed a worm. And he’s in the Blight so that’s a Worm. Im…pressive?

Mist had begun to trail him, creeping up from the ground. Was that mist his madness, or was it his hatred? It was so familiar. It twisted around his ankles and liked at his heels.

Like a yellow fog, that rubs its back upon the window panes, a yellow smoke that rubs its muzzle on the window panes, licks its tongue into the corners of the evening…

No? Or perhaps like, say, Mashadar? I mean, maybe it’s nothing, but if it’s not nothing, that’s… concerning. Were more things freed than Fain, in the ruination of Shadar Logoth? Open to give the world hope but did it also release some element of despair?

The mist struck.

And unless we’ve transported into one of Sanderson’s original works, that means I’m right and the cleansing of saidin did indeed have some… unintended consequences. Which is fitting, in a grander sense of balance, but still kind of… well, sad.

So Fain has levelled up again, it would seem, which is the outcome absolutely no one needed.

That said, he played enough of a part early on, and enough has been made of him from time to time afterwards, that it would be kind of weird to leave him out of the ending. Personally I wouldn’t particularly mind; watching him chew scenery is fun enough from time to time but the rest of the time I sort of tend to forget about him, and I’m not particularly invested in anything to do with him, and the slightly more critical side of me wonders if he was ever truly necessary as a character… but at this point in a series, once you have a character like that, dropping them now would feel untidy. It would feel like an oversight, or like lazy plotting.

Which is hard, when everything about him suggests that his entire purpose is to be a wildcard character. He doesn’t have a clear fated role to play in all of this, unless it’s something to do with his link to the dagger and, via that, to Mat somehow.

Instead, he’s a powerful entity on a third side in a two-sided war. Yes, there are far more factions than that within each of those sides, and so much of the point of the last several books has been that lack of unity, and the tragedy but perhaps inevitability of fighting against those who should be your allies, of losing sight of the larger conflict in favour of the smaller and more immediate ones, and of trying to forge some kind of alliance despite that, and the ways in which that can succeed or fail.

But Fain is less a part of that and more a completely outside element. Not, in a way, unlike Aridhol itself was, as it became Shadar Logoth. A darkness and an evil that came from a form of the Light and its hatred of the Shadow and, over time, twisted. And therefore was an evil that was not truly of the Shadow, but was no longer an ally of the Light. Instead it was its own poison.

That’s kind of what Fain is. Which certainly has potential, as a story element, but I am curious to see how that’s played, and how well it’s played, given the sheer volume of characters we’re dealing with, and the size of this conflict, and the many other themes already at play. Can his role, whatever it is, end up feeling satisfying? I guess we’ll read and find out on that one.

Anyway, that was a bit of a tangent, but the point of it was: yes, he’s levelled up, because I think he has to in order to have a hope of having his part in the ending being interesting or satisfying.

Red below, black above. Red and black, red and black, so much red and black.

See, the thing is, I know for a fact that Brandon Sanderson is a fan of Les Miserables, so I am fully justified in humming ‘red, the blood of angry men; black, the dark of ages past….’

Also, Moridin would approve. Of the colour scheme, if nothing else.

And also of the chaos. Some say the world will end in (bale)fire, some say in ice, and Padan Fain says fuck it why not evil killer mist. Less poetic but sure.

(Let’s play a little game called: over the course of the liveblog, how much of an English Literature syllabus do we think I’ve referenced? …on second thought let’s not play that game)

Oh, the Trollocs didn’t die, they just got a Mashadar Makeover and now they’re competing for Malkier’s Blight’s Next Top Abomination.

He left the Myrddraal. It would not rise, as rumours said they did. His touch now brought instant death to one of its kind. Pity. He had a few nails he might have otherwise put to good use.

Perhaps he should get some gloves. But if he did, he couldn’t cut his hand. What a problem.

The thing is, while the style here is very Sanderson, for a character like Fain it actually works pretty well. Which is mainly, I think, because I have long suspected Sanderson has a soft spot for writing characters who are utterly batshit and having the time of their lives with it. Pass the scenery, and the salt. Yum.

Like an old friend. A dear, beloved old friend that you were going to stab through the eye, open up at the gut and consume by handfuls while drinking his blood. That was the proper way to treat friends.

Sure, it lacks the undertone of beautiful horror, and the poetry of Machin Shin whispering about braiding flayed skin, which is in a way a shame. But it conveys the essential message and character, and at least for me, this works well as an example of Sanderson’s approach of not trying to imitate style because that could go so badly, but instead emulating the feel of the story itself. Sometimes it doesn’t work, but here, at least for me, it does.

It's ironic in a way that it’s a similar thing to what he’s done with Mat, but it has the opposite effect. With Mat – I’ve written about this elsewhere, but tl;dr is that I think he read Mat as funny and so tried to write Mat as funny, using his own methods rather than Jordan’s because imitating style exactly is a lost cause, but something very essential was lost in the translation (like the fact that Mat himself isn’t really humorous; it more comes from the contrast of his thoughts with his actions, and his character against the world around him, but I digress again). So he went for ‘convey the same idea through my own methods rather than trying to imitate Jordan’s’ – consciously or subconsciously – and it backfired. But with Fain, he’s taken the same approach – ‘convey a scenery-chewing wildcard who has lost every mind he’s possessed, which is several’ – and this time the same-idea-different-style still gets that across in a way that feels true to character.

Obviously mileage can and will vary on whether or not this works, but for me it’s just an interesting study in how a certain approach or method can succeed or fail depending on exactly how and where it’s applied, and what the cause of that success or failure may be – why it works in one place but not another, and what went right or wrong.

It is, I think, something of a writing exercise if you want to turn it into one. A bit like reverse-engineering an outline from a book you’ve read (I do this often; I realised at some point that I was doing it and then I made a point of doing it deliberately, and it’s super interesting, and for me at least it’s helped me think more deliberately about the structure of a story, and how that can be leveraged for different effects). But thinking about the specifics of what does or doesn’t work for you about the authorship switch – a particular character, or a scene, or the pacing, or the handling of a certain theme, or anything else – and then digging into the specifics of why it works, or doesn’t.

That, for me, has been more interesting than just picking out the differences. Sure, I’ll nitpick, but I prefer not to focus on it, because ‘this is different’ feels… kind of pointless. Of course it’s different. Figuring out exactly what is different, or why it’s different is interesting sometimes. But also figuring out where and how that difference matters or doesn’t is more what I’m trying to get at here. Because some of the differences, I don’t mind. Some, I do. And trying to understand why I mind some and not others has been helpful at least for me in, again, understanding all of those elements of a story or piece of writing better, and thinking about how they could be used or changed or recombined.

But then, I’m the kind of person who likes to take things apart to figure out how they work. And also to overthink every goddamn text I consume.

Still, it’s a fun one if you’re in the market for writing exercises to try whilst in quarantine.

*

Malenarin Rai. Bold of you to introduce a new POV character in the penultimate book of a series that already has dozens if not hundreds, but that’s WoT for you.

Also it’s a prologue so the rules are different.

Heeth Tower is a weird name. Heeth. But then, I don’t think Sanderson has ever been quite as good with names as Jordan was. And that’s the sort of change I’m not going to get too worked up over. (Also, it was Jordan who gave us Mountains of Dhoom, so I rest my case).

The whistling wind rattled the wooden shutter.

It’s not time for the wind yet; we’re still in the prologue! Wait your turn, wind; chapter one should be here any day now.

Using a Trolloc horn as a paperweight is pretty badass, Malenarin, but Furyk Karede and his human skull wineglass might offer some competition.

I don’t think we’ve spent much – any, depending on where exactly the scene in TPoD’s prologue takes place – time in Kandor outside of New Spring. I guess we’ve got to finish filling in the map now; we’ve only got one book left!

Malenarin’s son is turning fourteen soon, so he might just be lucky enough to get Tarmon Gai’don as a birthday party.

He smiled, setting the Trolloc horn on the note, in case that shutter broke open again. He’d slain the Trolloc who had borne that horn himself. Then he walked over to the side of his office and opened his battered oak trunk. Among the other effects inside was a cloth-wrapped sword, the brown scabbard kept well oiled and maintained, but faded with time.

Typing it out, it’s not even that similar, but reading this my first thought was of Tam al’Thor, pulling out his old trunk and his old sword at the beginning of The Eye of the World, before giving it to Rand as he sets off on his coming-of-age story.

To have a duty was to have pride – just as to bear a burden was to gain strength.

In moderation, though. *Looks pointedly at Rand al’Thor*

I still don’t understand how turning their backs on the Blight to go find the Dragon Reborn to tell him to pay attention to the Blight is a good idea for the Borderland rulers. I must be missing something here and I hope it is eventually revealed to me, because otherwise that is terrible strategy on so many counts.

The only way to go to the fourth level was to climb a narrow, collapsible ramp on the outside of the tower

What could possibly go wrong? I mean, last time we were in Kandor a kid was thrown off a balcony, so…

[Jargen] wore a cord looped around the shoulder of his brown uniform; it bore a knot for each Trolloc he’d killed. There had to be approaching fifty knots in the thing by now.

That’s cute, Rand says, flicking dust off his shoulder Luke-Skywalker-in-The-Last-Jedi style, and flicking some Arrows of Fire off with it to torch another thousand or so Trollocs without breaking a sweat.

But okay, yes, for an ordinary non-protagonist non-Lan in a random guard tower in Kandor, I suppose that qualifies as pretty badass.

The beacons have been lit! Gondor Rena Tower calls for aid!

Pretty sure that’s your cue, Lan.

Or not; Malenarin seems to think it’s his cue to confirm the SOS and start preparing the tower for… bad things, probably.

Seriously, wind, wait your turn.

Of course his son is next on the list of messenger boys to be sent out. Well, it’s a better fate than being thrown off a balcony at least. Maybe.

‘No, we need to send several messengers. Double up. Just in case the towers fall.’

Do you have any uncrowned infant kings you want to send as well? Just checking.

Malenarin let himself feel a hint of relief that his son was one of those riding to safety. There was no dishonour in that; the messages needed to be delivered, and Keemlin was next on the roster.

There is a kind of parallel here – less a parallel, perhaps, than an echo – to Lan. A son sent to safety as a Borderland hold prepares to fall, the sense of a last stand. Because in the Borderlands perhaps that is not so unusual a story, in its way. The Wheel of Time turns.

It was time for Tarmon Gai’don. And looking out into the storm, Malenarin thought he could see to the very edge of time itself. An edge that was not so far distant.

Maybe you should have a dream-chat with Moridin, Malenarin. Maybe it’s just the air in the Blight: gives you nihilist thoughts.

Oh oops, his son wasn’t one of the messengers to go. Because he decided to be all noble and let another boy go in his place, whose mother had already lost four sons. That’s sweet, kid, and it’ll probably get you killed.

Tian, Sanderson? Named after another ill-fated messenger boy in your own works, perhaps?

‘Run down to my office,’ Malenarin said. ‘There is a sword in my oaken trunk. Fetch it for me.’

Aw. Because his son has proven himself a man, three whole days early. Because we’re approaching the end now, and it’s time for everyone to take their last steps into their roles, become who they must be to face that end – whether they’re a protagonist or just some poor doomed kid in a tower in the Blight.

It's something these kinds of snapshot one-off scenes are good for: to show the scope of the story, that it touches everyone, no matter that they’ve never even met Rand or any of the others. And to give this sense of those final steps happening in snapshots like this across the land. The sense of an entire world taking a last deep breath. And so we pause for brief close-ups on the faces of some of the extras stepping onto the battlefield, to illustrate that.

Keemlin’s swearing his version of the ‘kill the bad things until we die or they do’ that every Borderland (and Aiel) nation seems to have, each with its own slight semantic variations.

‘Rise as a man, my son!’

This is no place, or time, for children. Ergo, he can no longer be a child, by simple virtue of being here. Which makes this a rather bittersweet moment; Malenarin’s proud of his son but there’s also this sense that far too many children are having to grow up far too fast in these last moments (and others will never grow up at all – in today’s theme of referencing poetry I like, go check out The Lads in their Hundreds).

They yelled defiance of the Shadow. For a moment, their voices rang louder than the thunder.

I don’t have a lot to say about this except that it’s a lovely image.

Together they turned to face the oncoming Shadow.

Nice knowing you.

Draghkar overhead and Trollocs oncoming, and they’re just a lonely tower waiting to die. I do love a doomed last stand, even if it’s characters I’ve never met before and likely will never see again.

Malenarin was a man of the Borderlands, same as his father, same as his son beside him. They knew their task. You held until you were relieved.

THAT’S YOUR CUE, LAN.

Next (ToM ch 1) Previous (ToM prologue pt.2)

[nyarmand]

hi i saw ur sherlock post and wanted to hear why you wouldnt be looking forward to that, if ur okay with answering :) i was wondering bc its a show i really enjoyed so i prolly missed the issues it has :0

ok im going to be totally honest. i LOVED sherlock when i first started it. sherlock holmes has been a huge favorite of mine for a very very long time and sherlock did so much for me. i must’ve been what, 13 or 14 when i first watched it? and i loved it. now, though... i have some Thoughts.

this is going to get really long because i have a lot to say about this show. it’s also going to be full of spoilers.

‘a study in pink’ had me absolutely enthralled. i’m not kidding, i was so excited throughout the whole episode and i will admit i actually ‘squee’d. i really liked the switch from the original story with regards to the victim’s message; in case anyone reading this hasn’t read the original a study in scarlet, in that, the message the victim leaves is also ‘rache’, and people assume it’s meant to be ‘rachel’, before holmes says that it’s german for revenge (don’t ask me if that’s true. i don’t speak german.) but in ‘a study in pink’, they swap it, so that someone originally thinks it’s meant to mean revenge, but holmes says no, it’s meant to be rachel. i LOVED it! it felt really clever and fun. i also really enjoyed how they rendered the text messages and deductions on screen. i still love that. it’s a cool effect. (but i’m going to be honest with you: that ‘deduction’ about john’s phone was stupid. i fumble with my phone charger a lot because i don’t always have the best motor skills. there are so many reasons why someone could have scratched up their phone like that, and sherlock was honestly just guessing. it wasn’t nearly as clever as it was supposed to look. it was lifted from an actual deduction from the original stories, but that wasn’t all that impressive of a deduction either.)

i also liked that they made a nod to and resolved a weird continuity error in the original stories, where the location of watson’s war wound (ha. alliteration) kept switching from his shoulder to his leg. sir arthur conan doyle was not always the best at keeping track of things, haha. but he actually didn’t even like sherlock holmes, so he may just have been a lot more lax about it. 

i really enjoyed all the little references to the original stories; you can tell the show was written by sherlock holmes fans. that made it really fun for me.

i don’t have a whole lot to say about ‘the blind banker’ because i thought it was a pretty boring episode and also it was really fucking racist. ‘yellow peril’, much? i can’t really go into a lot of details because i watched it like. once. (also i was very displeased that soo lin yao got killed by her brother. but that’s a me problem.)

but the season finale! oh my god! the season finale. i do have a complaint with the plot that i’ll mention later (because it’s more of a criticism of the overall show.) also not a huge fan of the homophobic tones taken towards ‘jim, from it’. but the episode itself was so fun. i had such a great time watching and the ending had me absolutely on the edge of my seat. i was desperate to watch the next season right then. 

on to ‘a scandal in belgravia’. if you haven’t seen this episode then skip this section. also, it’s gonna get into some (not graphic) nsfw discussion, just because of what the episode is about, so if you don’t want to read that then skip that too. i watched it once. and it took me a couple years to even do that, because i was young when i started watching sherlock and let me tell you my parents did NOT want me watching that episode then. (frankly, i didn’t want me watching that episode then, either.) when i did watch it, i promptly forgot a lot of it, because i hated it. irene adler in the original stories was super cool; she was smart and capable and outwitted sherlock holmes himself, to the point that she got the title of ‘the woman’ (which. bit sexist. but this was the 1800s so i’m not too shocked.) unfortunately, irene adler from sherlock was... uhhhhh... look, i don’t give a damn about her job but i do give a damn about how she was written. she wasn’t portrayed as the same awesome woman from the original a scandal in bohemia. she was portrayed as... beating sherlock holmes... through the power of being sexy????? i mean, what the hell. what the actual hell was happening there. some people might think that kind of writing is feminist, but i really don’t. also, it wasn’t even fully her plan. it was moriarty’s. (once again, we are reducing the really smart and capable woman and making her dependent on a man.) ALSO, she was in love with sherlock(despite saying she was a lesbian??? if she’s bi then say she’s bi, for fuck’s sake, lesbian erasure isn’t cool), and that was her downfall? excuse me? that episode sucked so much and i was quite frankly miserable. the ending was stupid too. in the original story she got away scot free, having outwitted the great detective himself. in sherlock... she didn’t really win at all, and became a damsel in distress. thanks, moffatt and gatiss. very cool of you.

‘the hounds of baskerville’, though! oh that one was SO entertaining. i will say that the ending where sherlock intentionally tried to drug john was really fucked up. but the rest of the episode absolutely thrilled me. when john actually said ‘aspergers?’ in relation to sherlock i felt like i might die on the spot from pure joy, and for a while i had the exact timestamp at which he said it memorized because it made me so damn happy. (this was back before i realized some of the problems with that terminology.) and the episode itself... i LOVE horror and it creeped me out so much. 

and of course. ‘the reichenbach fall’. ohhhhhh my god. just thinking about it... i cried so much in that episode. even though i knew he would be totally fine because hey, i read the original stories, sherlock holmes doesn’t actually die, i don’t give a fuck, i still cried. i don’t have a lot to say about this episode because it just had me losing it the whole time. it was a total shift from the original story but i didn’t even care. it was just. oh my god.

but then things started going downhill.

season three was fine. not the best, but fine.

‘the empty hearse’ was kind of weird. it was interesting how they really showcased sherlock’s selfishness by how he just waltzed right back into john’s life (while he was planning to propose!) and expected things to be fine. it was not, however, interesting nor fun, how he made john think they were both going to die in order to manipulate john into admitting that he missed sherlock. i like mary, though. she’s cool.

full honestly: i loved ‘the sign of three’. that best man speech. it was weird, and rambling, and really, really sweet. totally thought sherlock was just being an asshole again, and then it ended with a genuine, heartfelt expression of how much john has changed him for the better. the ending made me sad though.

aaaaaaaaand then we got ‘his last vow.’ uhhhhh. uhhhhhhhhh. i don’t have a lot to say about this one. i don’t like it. i don’t like how sherlock manipulated janine (hello, fucked up territory). i don’t like what they did with mary’s character. and i don’t like how they took charles augustus magnussen (milverton, in the original) and made sherlock kill him instead of the cool ending of the original, where one of his blackmail victims took revenge. 

i can’t properly review the abominable bride here. that would need its own post.

unfortunately it was all very much downhill from here.

‘the six thatchers’. john has an affair? john watson? has an affair? we go back to the problems i had with mary’s character, and then she dies? she sacrifices herself for sherlock? right after she has a baby? she just fucking dies? this episode was horrible. 

i don’t have a whole lot of thoughts on ‘the lying detective’ except that i think ‘the dying detective’ was better. also, this is where things really went to hell in a handbasket.

eurus. oh my god, eurus. look. i am a little sick of ‘secret holmes sibling’ plotlines. ‘how many have you seen?’ two, and that’s two too many. (it might be different if they handed over some sibling rights to go with it, but they never do.)

also, the whole plot was just ridiculous. i can’t even begin to explain how ridiculous it was. total genius smarter than even sherlock and mycroft, SO SMART that she can program people to do whatever she wants just by talking to them for a few minutes, killed sherlock’s best friend and traumatized him so much that he had to get his memories erased? RIDICULOUS. the ‘saw’ style games? all organized by eurus and, you guessed it, moriarty? for fuck’s sake. IT’S ABSURD. and in the end, it was all a cry for help? cool motive, still MULTIPLE MURDERS. also molly getting forced to say she loves sherlock was just so incredibly fucked up. these are only surface level complaints based on what i remember of the episode (which i have seen only one time because i only watched this season one time.) if i watched it again i’m sure i could come up with more, but i don’t really want to watch it again, because i think it might kill me instantly.

now for some more overarching criticisms:

from a purely plot based perspective, i’m not a fan of how moriarty was behind so much. he really wasn’t that involved in the original stories; the guy played a role in two stories and showed up a grand total of once and then died. that was it. he was there so conan doyle could finally kill off sherlock holmes (though we all know how well THAT went. did you know people actually went into mourning for holmes? and conan doyle got accosted in the street about it. i’m not even kidding. people were so upset. and, i mean, so was i.) yes, he was a criminal mastermind (the napoleon of crime!) but he wasn’t behind basically every single case. it’s not the worst change ever, but it is a little bit weird to be giving sherlock an archenemy. but sherlock is far from the first adaptation to do that. (if i wrote it, it’d be less archenemy and more ‘sherlock holmes is being really annoying again, guess i have to do something about it.’ which honestly felt like what was happening in the original stories.)

from a more socially conscious perspective: the sexism in that show is so ridiculous. most of the female characters are written horribly (molly deserved so much better. so. much. better.) and often damsel in distress types. when they aren’t, well, see my discussion of ‘a scandal in belgravia’. i can’t think of a single female character in sherlock whose story doesn’t essentially revolve around the men in her life.

furthermore, the constant jokes about john and sherlock TOTALLY NOT BEING GAY is. i will be honest with you; i do not give a damn about j*hnlock. i don’t ship it at all. but those jokes were so damn uncomfortable. homophobia much. 

also: the racism. particularly egregious in ‘the blind banker’ but it was scattered throughout the rest of the show too. (can we talk about how sally donovan was treated? because the intersection of racism and misogyny was... deeply, deeply unpleasant.)

oh and the whole ‘high functioning sociopath’ thing was... can we not be weird about this for five minutes. can we. i’m begging. i do not like a character that i’ve related to for years (one of the reasons i’ve been so into sherlock holmes for so long was bc he was one of the first characters i really related to and made me feel a lot better about my autism diagnosis) being treated like this.

i am not going to pretend that the original sherlock holmes stories weren’t horribly racist, misogynistic, and so much more. they were. they were written in the 1800s, though. i will say that that is absolutely not an excuse and they could have and should have been better, but that goes so much more for sherlock, because, i mean. come on. this is the 21st century. there’s less than negative excuse for this kind of bullshit. moffatt in particular has received a lot of criticism for both sherlock and doctor who, particularly regarding the misogyny that often shows up in his writing, and it seems he learned absolutely nothing.

as i said, i have a lot of thoughts on sherlock. but given some of the overarching problems with the series as a whole, as well as the sharp downturn the quality of the writing took in the second half (particularly season four), i really do not want another season. i am frankly terrified of what kind of absurdity might be produced. 

so yeah. that’s my thoughts on Why I Do Not Want Sherlock Season Five.

[embcrry]

ok thisss took wayyy longer than i’d expected . like it’s fucking midnight ? like guys im such a mess omfg . anywaysss * tana mongeau vc “ welcome to my trash bin daught or welcome back to my trash bin daughter ... what ? was ? that ? idfk . if you wanna plot with my overly tired ass give this post a like and i’ll love you down i promise !! also i apologize for how long this intro is going to be in advance !

new york’s very own  𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐄 " 𝐄𝐌𝐌𝐀 " 𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐘 was spotted on broadway street in 𝘓𝘖𝘜𝘉𝘖𝘜𝘛𝘐𝘕 𝘌𝘓𝘖𝘐𝘚𝘌 𝘉𝘖𝘖𝘛𝘚  . your resemblance to barbara palvin is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐃  birthday bash . while living in nyc , you’ve been labeled as being guarded , but also dependable  . i guess being a 𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 explains that . 3 things that would paint a better picture of you would be  𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘢 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘶𝘱, 𝘣𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘫𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘵𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘸𝘰𝘯 + 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘱 𝘢𝘸𝘬𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘴𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘴𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘦𝘴  .  &  ( female & she/her  )  +  ( faith , 21 , she/her , est . )

𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

FULL NAME : emilie sierra berry . NICKNAME : emma , em , emma bear ( by her little sister ) . BIRTH DATE : march 1st , 1998 . AGE : 22 . GENDER : female ( cis ) . PRONOUNS : she + her . ORIENTATION :  pansexual ( attractions are equal ) , panromantic ( leans more toward women ) . BIRTH PLACE : brisbane , australia ( see home here ) . the family still owns this house but don’t use it much . HOMETOWN : new york city ( upper west side ) , new york ( see home here ) . her dad + little sister still live here today . CURRENT LOCATION : new york city ( upper east side ) , new york ( see home here ) . moved in one year ago after break up . EDUCATION LEVEL : highschool diploma .   OCCUPATION : olympic swimmer ( emulated after katie ledecky ) , socialite , escort ( no one knows ) . NET WORTH : 32million ( every year up until she’s twenty five she receives a percentage of her trust fund ) . FAMILY NET WORTH : 3.1billion ( father ) , 4.8billion ( mother + step - father ) . PARENTS : adrian berry ( father , 51 , hedge fund manager ) , natasha laffont ( mother , 48 , former super model + philanthropist ) , thomas laffont ( step - father , 50 ,  businessman + art collector ) . SIBLINGS : tatiana berry ( sister , 10 , student + ballet dancer ) , bradley laffont ( step-brother , 24 , new york rangers player ) . PETS : jagger ( ragdoll cat , picture ) , maggie ( pomeranian - husky , picture ) . NATIONALITY : australian - american . ETHNICITY : hungarian . CLOTHING STYLE : expensive yet casual ; alot of black , hoodies , leather is a staple , high end sneakers , boots , colorful suits . JEWELRY : gold ; dangly earring , cartier bracelet , tiffany rings , barbell nipple piercings. DIET : pescitarian , no dairy ( lactose intolerant ) . WORK OUT HABITS : six times a week ( mostly boxing + swimming  ) . PERSONALITY : guarded ; there is nothing emma hates more than talking about her feelings or letting anyone know who she’s feeling , she has trouble trusting people for good reason ( the girls trust issues have trust issues yall ) + dependable ; if you need anything in the world go to emma she will move mountains to get shit down for you , she’s very punctual , and super disciplined probably due to being an olympian + goofy ; she doesn’t take much too seriously tbh , ( similar to joey + phoebe from friends ) she can be a bit of a space cadet and that always ends in her making everyone laugh + stubborn ; one thing is for sure about emma she’s extremely hard headed , loves getting her way , and is incredibly unforgiving . 

𝐁𝐈𝐎𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐇𝐘 ( in bullets )

her parents met during college , where they both attended princeton university . natasha , her mom , was in the middle of her modeling career completely blowing up while adrian was already setting the foundation of his investment company . they had a whirlwind romance and were married just a year after adrian graduated from princeton . both coming from old money , emma’s grandparents on both sides are extremely meticulous about the image of their family + so the same mentality was instilled in adrian + natasha .

 emma spent the first nine years of her life in brisbane , australia . her parents had moved out to australia just a couple years before she was born for the sake of making her father’s company an international success . 

with her parents always off doing something , emma was raised by her nanny + butler . when she was six she expressed her desire to get into swimming after watching michael phelps in the 2004 summer olympics . she was in absolute awe by him + wanted to be just like him . so the next day her nanny spoke to her parents and later that day she was enrolled into a local swimming program .

when she was nine her parents broke the news to her that they were moving to new york . at first she wasn’t all too mad about the move , she didn’t have many friends in school , wasn’t a big fan of her teachers , and knew the one thing she loved she could still do in new york . her outlook on the move changed when she found out that her nanny + butler would not be making the move across the equator with them though . how dare her parents steal the only people who’d ever taken care of her away from her ? she thought . she threw an absolute fit in protest ; completely wrecking the home + locking herself away in the bathroom in her room for nearly 20 hours before her nanny talked her into coming out . 

once in new york , emma was miserable . she had tantrums everyday and even stopped swimming for a few months . what inevitably pulled her out of her funk was a trip disneyland paris + her mom bringing her out to buy a whole new wardrobe . yall ever heard of a spoiled brat ?

once she was open to the idea of new york she kind of fell in love with the city , to be honest . she grew close to her new nanny + butler , of course and fell in love with her new swimming coach .

when she was fourteen her parents got a divorce and just six months later her mom was married to a billionaire living in connecticut with a son just two years older than emma . anyone with a brain could put together that her mom had been cheating on her dad , that was except for her dad who’d fallen into denial that his ex - wife would come back . 

[ trigger warning : alcoholism , child abuse , violence ] after months of listening to her father , emma broke , the two got in a huge screaming match about how her mom wasn’t coming back saying things like “this is so pathetic, stop graveling over a women who doesn’t want you” + “she doesn’t want you” + “just move on, she’s never coming back, she’s fucking an art collector in connecticut”. mind you she’s fourteen talking to her dad like this , yikes . he started spiraling after that , drinking heavily , doing coke more than just at events , and when emma copped an attitude he’d hit her . it started with just a rough slap , pushing her into the pool or down the stairs , and then it turned into punching her . it got so bad her coach started noticing during swim practices and inevitably threatened her dad , either he let her move in with him or he’d call the police . so , not wanting a tarnished reputation , her dad sent her off to live with her swim coach .

[ trigger warning : grooming ] life with her swim coach was cool , she got to swim alot more plus he was extremely high profile due to sending swimmers to the olympics as well acting in a few movies so she got to go to alot of events with him all across the world . she enjoyed her time with him more than she’d enjoyed the entirety of her life and then he got her to the 2012 olympics in london + her trust and appreciation for him sky rocketed . in her eyes no one int he world could or did love her more .

coming back from the olympics , her had fully sobered up and was ready to bring emma back home .  her and her coach weren’t completely gun ho for the move but she inevitably moved back home with her father .

[ trigger warning : statutory rape ] just a month after being back home , her coach started being a little too touchy with her . she felt uncomfortable by his advances but figured her was only taking care of her . then he kissed her and she was pretty creeped out so she asked what he was doing , basically the creep told her he was just missing her alot because she wasn’t living with him and reminded her about how he was really the only person who cared about her . she accepted what he said and soon after they started sleeping together regularly . he didn’t even have to tell her not to tell anyone , she innately knew if she ever told anyone he wouldn’t be her coach anymore and emma just wasn’t willing to lose the best coach she’d ever had . this continued for a little over a year until she went to the doctors and her mom went with her , her mom stayed in the room because the check up wasn’t all that invasive + then when her doctor asked her if she was sexually active her mom answered no but emma , not wanting to lie , stayed silent . she inevitably confessed at the appointment that she was sexually active . her mom freaked out and wanted to know who but of course emma didn’t spill that . she inevitably lied and said some guy she went to school with . within a week her mom found out she lied and refused to let emma go anywhere until she confessed who she was sleeping with . knowing her mom wouldn’t let up she told her it was her coach + that it wasn’t a big deal . but emma knew it was . her mom gave her coach an ultimatum he either quit coaching for good or she’d turn him in . she he quit and emma never heard from him again . 

she stopped talking to her more directly after that + stopped going back to connecticut for the weekends like she had been since her parents divorce . she was now sixteen without a swimming coach + completely mad at the world .  she’d had a rough few years , to say the least . she turned to partying , HEAVY , to cope with it all . she slept with anyone who so much as gave her a second look she didn’t care if they were older than her , had a girlfriend / boyfriend , if you were into her you could have her . it took her almost five months before she committed to a swim coach + they really whipped her back into shape . no more partying , emma went from school to practice and then home . it was awfully boring for the new party girl but she had one of the best coaches in the world + they promised to stop coaching her had she not listened to their every word . the only thing she cared more about then letting loose was going to another olympics . 

she attended a private school in manhattan where she completely smashed each and everyone of the school, districts , and state records in swimming . she was never big into her academics but she upheld a b average for the sake of being able to stay on the schools swimming team . if she received anything less than a b she would guilt her dad into giving her school a donation so they’d give her the grade she felt she deserved . 

she graduated from highschool in 2016 and although she was accepted into multiple schools across the nation , with athletic full ride offers from each school  , but she inevitably declined each school because she did want to spend another second behind a desk . knowing her dad would never approve of her not going to college , with his ivy league education ass , she lied to him and said she was attending nyu . 

she went to the 2016 olympics in rio and completely dominated ( 4 gold medals , 1 silver + breaking five world/olympic/american records in the meets ) . 

just months in 2017 her dad started to pick up on her lie about attending college . telling her she needed to enroll immediately or he’d cut her off . calling his bluff she didn’t enroll . she quickly learned that he wasn’t bluffing when he completely cut her off , telling her she had a month to find a place to live and move out .  

thanks to her olympics money + her endorsements with tyr sports + adidas she had enough money to get an apartment but her saving would deplete quick so she knew she needed to do something to make alot of money + quick .

desperate and running out of time emma joined seeking arrangements under an alias as sierra meyers . there were a few success and plenty of total blunders on the site but she got lucky with the first women she met with who offered to get her into escorting . emma didn’t even give it a second thought before she said yes , the only thing she asked is that the clientele not want her to attend highly publicized events with her as she's quickly get caught due to her socialite status   . 

within a year she’d made half of what her entire lifes work had made her , she grew obsessed with escorting and what made it crazy was there were people who would pay her half a million just to have dinner and talk with her . of course , those were the unicorns though because most wanted to sleep with her at the end of the night . 

when she turned twenty one her dad gave in and gave her back her blackcard + even offered to move her back into the house , she took the credit card but decided to continue living outside of his walls . 

she could’ve quit escorting right then and there , but she’d grown an addiction if you will to her work . there was something about the secrecy of it + her ability to make millions so easily that kept her going .

𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒

former roommate ; these two moved in together after her dad kicked her out + even though she moved in with someone else months after they signed the lease she payed them for her half of the rent for the rest of the lease , ex ; they dated when she was cut off by her dad + they inevitably moved into together they could of had a rocky or really good relationship by broke up around this time last year , the guy she “ lost “ her virginity to ; he didn’t actually take her virginity , in truth these two could very well have never even slept together but he’s the guy she lied to her about sleeping with to cover up sleeping with her coach he found out about her lie when emma’s mom asked his parents if he was sleeping with emma we can decide where things went from there between these two , suspicious friend ; they’re starting to pick up on her random disappearing + secrecy , maybe they start following her at some point and inevitably confront her about escorting or maybe they think she’s doing something else and accuse her of that ? , first girlfriend , more exes , people she’s slept with , someone who she slept with + they had a significant other , fellow olympians , travel buddy , podcast co-host ; these two came up with an idea recently to start a podcast , they haven't released it just yet but it’d be similar to call her daddy / impulsive !

[doedreamss]

1,3,4 and 5 for the unusual questions ask

1: who is your celebrity crush?

Honestly at the moment it’s hangman adam page, hands down. he’s the whole package for me. same sense of humor, loves horses, does the whole cowboy thing, dresses like a cowboy, is Very Handsome, very sweet, wholesome, seems to have my same political views, loves dogs... like, everything I’ve seen of him I’m just stunned because he’s just perfect. if it wasn’t him, it’d be jeff goldblum (yes! My friends who followed me for my jeff stuff I DO still love him) because he’s silly and kind and amusing and handsome, and he’s a strong voice for mental health and a promoter of how good and important therapy is for anyone and everyone. I could rant for ages... adam stole my eyes off jeff for now, but I still love him.

3: rant. Just do it.

I’m so so so so tired of men. three months ago I met this guy who was both perfect and absolutely awful. I hate how I still think about him and I hate that when I’m lonely I think about how wonderful our dates were and how he made me feel so beautiful and so perfect and so wanted in a way no one had ever made me feel before. I hate that I miss that, because he was an awful person who really, really hurt me. and last month I met another guy I thought for sure things were different with. This guy... we had conversations for HOURS. When we texted, our text messages were like paragraphs. I thought I’d finally found the guy who was going to manage to snag me after I’ve avoided relationships for six years. Then he got weird, made me question myself, tried to ghost me even after we had SO MANY CONVERSATIONS about how I can’t staaaand ghosting and I had to be the one to step up and say I wanted to break away from him. As soon as I said that he told me he’d run into his ex the weekend before and it “brought up a lot of emotions” I’m sorry, the ex that cheated on you multiple times and admitted the only reason she was ever in a relationship with you was because you took care of her kids so well she could go fuck off and have fun? You let me think I’d done something wrong, that there was something wrong with me... over that? I cried because of THAT bullshit???? And don’t even fucking get me started on Scott. I get that real life just threw too many curveballs and it’d be hard if we got together, I get that. But as much as he wants me, he’s too much of a damn coward to even TRY and see what it would be like. Yeah! Maybe it would suck at first! But the rumors would stop, we could get through it together and we could be HAPPY. But instead he’s just resigned to being miserable and stuck and every week or two he calls me so his voice can suckerpunch me in the heart and make me ACHE for days after we talk. IM TIRED OF MEN. I really, really hate that the guy I genuinely like also likes me, but we can’t be together because of something dumb and trivial and it’s out of MY CONTROL and completely up to him but he won’t take that final step because he’s resigned to be miserable. Oh but you’ll beg me not to vanish on you, okay guy. 🖕🏻

4: do you think it’s okay to separate the artist from the art?

this is an interesting question I’ve never really... paused to think about! is there a discourse on this? what would this entail, exactly? does this mean if an artist behaves immorally, you still participate in the art they are a part of? If so, I think it’s case-by-case. Depends on the severity and what they have to do with the art itself. I have trouble with this personally, as someone who writes a piece of myself is in all of my writing, and that (to me) goes with any form of art. A piece of the artist is inside that art. I dunno. I think I’d have to take some serious time considering this longer before I could give a better response!

5: how many accounts do you have?

Haha... active? Two... three?? I have my main, I have the Jeff Goldblum fanblog (haven’t done much on that lately 😔), I have a private sideblog I collect things for my ocs on... I used to have so many other fan blogs and rp blogs and... just too much. I’ve been considering starting a wrestling/fic blog but I dunno! Still up in the air with that!