#but now i feel v dumb and i could have been doing lab stuff for the past 4 days. ive got some experiments ive gotta get thru asap

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[spicycreativity]

Flufftober Day 1 - Winning a Tedddy Bear for the Other

This is the only October prompt fic I was able to write, so uh. Hopefully you enjoy it!

2.5k words, pairings are pre-Logince, Dukexiety, and pre-Moceit

Nobody actually wins a teddy bear for anyone, despite their best efforts

Truly have no idea if this is solely an American hick town thing or not, but where I'm from, all the summer drama took place at the county fair; the hook-ups and break-ups and all the stuff that people would gossip about at the beginning of the school year. Except! The crew have just graduated and this is kind of their last hurrah before college and work and what have you.

Roman closed his eyes and tried to focus. He turned the basketball over in his hands, privately grossed out by the weird, sticky texture beneath his fingertips. He let the ambient noise of the county fair fade into the background. Focus. He just had to focus.

Then Virgil's voice shattered his concentration: "You know this game is rigged, right?"

Roman opened his eyes and, catching an annoyed glance from the carnival worker, sighed and hurled the ball at the hoop. It soared a neat arc and fell neatly through the center of the hoop. Ha. "I'll have you know I played basketball in middle school." He puffed out his chest a little and raised his arms so Virgil could admire his killer delts. 

"And how old are you now?" Virgil leaned into Remus, who was lurking over his shoulder like some kind of lanky cathedral goblin. How Remus had landed a boyfriend before he did, Roman would never know.

The worker handed Roman another ball, which Roman accepted with a half-hearted "Thanks."

"It's true, though," Remus said, placing his chin on Virgil's shoulder. "The hoops are ovals."

"Everybody knows that," Roman huffed, and threw the ball.

"Yeet!" said Remus. Idiot.

The ball bounced off the rim. "You distracted me!" Roman huffed. The carnival worker held out another ball, but Roman dismissed him with a wave of his hand. "Oh, forget it!" Two baskets would only get him a stupid Minions keychain, and he definitely didn't want something that cursed in his possession. He turned and walked away, half-hoping Remus and Virgil wouldn't follow him. 

"Dude, you paid for three tries," Virgil said.

Roman stopped and turned around and nearly got trampled by a herd of excited pre-teens. "You don't get it!" He gestured at Virgil and Remus' intertwined fingers, even now unable to fight back the wave of jealousy and longing that rose up inside him. "You guys already have your fairy--" He paused, corrected himself. "Your weird, creepy, Tim Burton fairytale dream. I have one shot to impress Logan tonight and I need to make the most of it!"

"Hold on, hold on, hold on!" Remus grabbed Roman by the wrist (ewww, Roman, just try not to think about where his hands have been) and dragged him over to a bench. "Your grand plan is to win Logan some lame carnival prize before he even gets here?"

"Oh, buddy." The mocking pity on Virgil's face was enough to make Roman blush. Jerk. All he'd had to do was sit around and wait for Remus to make the first move. "What makes you think that's even going to work?"

Roman stood up again, motioning for Virgil and Remus to stay seated. He'd had enough. "Because it's a grand, romantic gesture and I am a grand, romantic prince. Now leave me alone! You're wrecking my concentration and I'm supposed to meet Logan in an hour!" And he stalked off, soon getting lost in the crowd.

Virgil looked at Remus, who was wearing a look of undisguised masochistic glee. Still, Virgil ventured, more to soothe his own conscience than anything, "Should we try to help him?" 

"Look!" Remus shot to his feet, pointing off into the distance. "Deep fried pickles!" He took off, nearly jerking Virgil's shoulder out of socket.

Virgil dodged an elderly woman and nearly tripped over his boots. "Roman?"

"No, I'm Remus."

"No, I mean, should we try-- Oh, forget it." Virgil wrapped his free hand around the back of Remus' and let Remus yank him through the crowd. There was a long line for the cart selling deep fried monstrosities because this was the county fair and people lost their humanity upon stepping through the gates. Not Virgil. He would sooner lick the door of the horse barn than consume anything from this horrorshow of a food cart. That was one thing Virgil and Roman could agree on: fair food was disgusting. Ah, poor Roman. "You do have to feel a little sorry for him, though," Virgil said, admiring the shiny piercings decorating the shell of Remus' ear.

"Who?" said Remus, standing on tiptoe and examining the crowd. 

"Ro--"

"Oh, Roman?" Remus landed hard on his heels and nudged Virgil with his hip. "No I don't. A little heartbreak might take Sir Brags-a-Lot down a peg." Something caught his eye and he jerked his head away with a smile. "Hey. V. I'd like to dip my pickle in your deep fryer."

Virgil made a face, but soldiered on. "But he's had a crush on Logan since, what? As long as I've known him."

"Longer." Remus stuck out his tongue. "He and Logan were lab partners Freshman year. And I had to hear about him every single night." He lowered his voice into a passable imitation of Roman's, gesticulating with abandon. "'Ugh, Remus, this boy in my science class is so annoying; he knows about dumb shit like protons and covalent bonds. Who even cares about that? I don't. So I'm gonna keep talking about it for the entire bus ride home.' Nightmare."

"Exactly!" said Virgil, though he had kind of forgotten what he was getting at. What had he been getting at? He shuffled forward as the line moved and turned his fractured attention to the menu.

"Hey," said Remus, now drumming on Virgil's shoulder with his fingertips. "When was the last time you saw Pat and the Hat?"

"Who?"

"Come on, that was clever."

Virgil tapped his lower lip. "You mean Patton and Janus?" Remus just blinked at him. "I dunno, didn't they say they were buying tickets?"

"Yeah, like, 30 minutes ago.

The line moved forward again. Remus ordered his horrifying hell-pickle. Virgil ordered a lemonade, knowing full well that Remus would insist on paying anyway.

"Maybe," said Virgil, side-stepping away from the order window and deliberately ignoring the way Remus was running his tongue all up and down his deep-fried pickle, "they went to the petting zoo."

"Well, let's go get 'em," Remus said. "They don't get to ditch us just because Patton wanted to see the bunny rabbits."

The setting sun painted the clouds a brilliant orange. Patton sighed and stared out at the expanse of the fairgrounds beneath him. One by one, rides were starting to turn their lights on. It was exactly the most romantic time of evening, exactly how he'd wanted things to go when he suggested they take a quick ride on the Ferris wheel before tracking down the others.

Well.

Almost exactly.

"I should sue," Janus said. Again. He looked over the edge of their basket where it dangled almost exactly at the top of the Ferris wheel. "How long would you say we've been stuck up here?"

"Um," said Patton, trying to wiggle his phone out of his pocket.

"What if I was diabetic, hm? What if one of us needed to take life-saving medication and couldn't because we were stuck at the top of this death trap?"

"But Janus." Patton waited for Janus to meet his eyes, then smiled. "We don't."

The magic didn't last. "It's the principle of the thing!" Janus said explosively, looking away in obvious agitation.

Patton rallied and tried again. "You don't think it's kinda romantic? I mean, look out there." He gestured at the lit-up fairgrounds and the golden haloes of clouds.

Janus huffed and didn't look. "I don't see what's so romantic about a potential reckless endangerment lawsuit." And he was off again, ranting about confusing legal concepts and other things Patton wouldn't care about, except that they were important to Janus.

Oh, well. He sighed and watched the blinking lights of El Niño. If they got down soon, maybe he could win Janus a teddy bear or something and make his confession then.

"What color?"

Roman ran a hand through his hair. Of all the games to have a knack for, he hadn't expected darts. "Pink, I guess-- No, wait, the blue one."

The attendant nodded and handed Roman a flimsy acoustic guitar. "Congrats, man."

"Thanks." Roman turned to go. He had to meet Logan at the gates soon. At least he wasn't doing it empty-handed, not that a barely-playable guitar was a particularly romantic gift. Realy, who was he kidding? Logan didn't want the guitar and Logan didn't want him.

The fairground lights lit everything up a sickly green. Roman scanned the crowd at the midway, trying to determine the best way through, when his gaze fell on a familiar pair of glasses.

He was still trying to decide how to react when Logan reached him, his arms full of brightly-colored stuffed lemurs. "Hello, Roman."

"How long have you been here?" Roman demanded. The idea that Logan had been sneaking around, avoiding him, sat heavy in his stomach.

But to Roman's surprise, Logan blushed. "Not long," he said, shifting his weight. "I wanted-- Well, it seems foolish now."

Roman forgot his anger in an instant. "What? C'mon, Lo, I don't think you're even capable of being foolish."

"I had thought," Logan dropped his gaze to the stuffed lemurs in his arms, "I had thought that if I came early, I might be able to win something big and--" He cleared his throat. "And give it to you."

"Why?" Roman demanded. Why would Logan copy his plan? 

"Well, Roman," Logan said in such a clipped, professional voice that he might have been delivering the weather report, "traditionally, winning a large prize for your sweetheart at the county fair is a romantic gesture."

"But I'm not your sw-- Oh." Roman's jaw dropped. The guitar's strings dug into his fingers. Then he started to laugh. Logan's expression hardened, but he stayed put, staring intently at Roman. "I'm sorry!" Roman choked out, brandishing the guitar at Logan as some sort of peace offering, though Logan didn't have a free hand to take it. "I was--" Tears streamed hot and ticklish down Roman's cheeks, his entire body still spasming with stifled laughs. "I was trying to do the same thing! That's how I got this stupid guitar."

"Oh," said Logan. "Oh, dear."

"Come on, let's sort this out." Roman stood on his tiptoes, spotted an empty bench, and led Logan to it.

"This is terribly awkward," Logan said, adjusting the lemurs in his arms. "Do you even want these?"

"Not really," Roman said. He held up the guitar. "Do you want this?"

"I don't."

They smiled at each other. "You know," said Roman, hurriedly counting Logan's stuffed lemurs. "You can trade six of those in for a kiss."

"Piercings!" Remus tugged on Virgil's sleeve and gestured at the booth. 

"I thought we were looking for Patton and Janus," Virgil said, already trying to think of a way to keep Remus from getting an ill-advised piercing.

"Forget them! I wanna get my tongue done."

"Here?" Virgil asked as Remus tugged him closer and closer to the piercing booth. "We're, like, six feet away from a horse barn. You're gonna get an infection."

"Damn, V, it's not like I'm gonna French kiss the horses."

Virgil bit his lip and made a second attempt. "Don't you have enough holes punched in yourself?"

"Nope!" They reached the booth and Remus bounced on his toes while he studied the laminated photographs pinned to one of the tent walls.

"Fine, but don't expect any kisses until that piercing is fully healed," Virgil said, struck by an eleventh-hour moment of genius.

"Hold up." Remus turned around and stared at Virgil. "What?"

"You heard me." Advantage secured, Virgil relaxed a little and even managed a sneer. "No kisses until I'm 100% sure you're not gonna get blood or anything else in my mouth."

"Baaaabe." Remus wrapped his arms around Virgil's shoulders and let Virgil take some of his weight. "You're killing me! What about my self-expression?"

"You can get your tongue pierced," Virgil said, "just not at some shady horse barn-adjacent piercing booth run by a bunch of traveling randos."

"I'm an American," Remus mumbled into Virg's collarbone. "It's my God-given right to die of a horse infection because I got my tongue pierced at a-- Whatever you said."

"C'mon." Virgil stood Remus upright and took him by the hand. "I'll pay for you to get your tongue pierced at that nice place downtown. Or I'll get Janus to pay for it. Next birthday. I promise."

"Thanks, I guess," Remus muttered. He was obviously trying to pout, but his face kept cracking into a smile.

"And as for your self-expression…" Face-painting booths were a dime a dozen at the fair; you practically couldn't turn a corner without running into some kid with their face painted to look like Spider-Man. Virgil pointed to the closest one and continued to lead Remus toward it. "I'm thinking spider eyes for me, kraken for you?" Remus took a breath, but Virgil knew better. "There's no way anyone is going to paint a photorealistic dick on your face."

"Alriiiiight," Remus said. "Kraken it is."

The sun was now nearly gone over the horizon, only visible as a faint golden line. Janus had finally worn himself out and gone silent, though even in the darkness, Patton could see the annoyance smoldering in his eyes.

Oh, he was so cute. Even when he was annoyed. Which, granted, seemed to be most of them time, although some of it had to be an act. He smiled sometimes, when he thought Patton wasn't looking.

It was those secret smiles that had given Patton the courage to make this plan. He jiggled his leg and swallowed as nerves sent flutters of nausea through his belly. "Um, Janus?"

"Hm?"

"I mean," Patton started, "since we're stuck up here and everything."

"Don't remind me."

"I mean, you know, It's not all bad. If I have to be stuck at the top of a Ferris wheel, I'm glad it's with you. I… I'm glad it's us."

For a moment, Janus was silent. Then he said, in a tone of suspicion: "You're trying to cheer me up."

Patton sighed. As smart as Janus was, he just didn't seem to be putting the pieces together. Although, that was as much Patton's fault as it was Janus'. Well, it was mostly Patton's fault. He just had to be brave. "Look, Janus, I had this whole plan where we were gonna ride the Ferris wheel together and it was gonna pause at the top and while we were looking out over the fairground, I--" His breath hitched.

"...Was going to push me over the edge?" Janus asked.

"I was gonna do this." Rainbow lights from the Ferris wheel spokes danced across Janus' face. Patton leaned over and took his hands. "Janus, I really like you. And I want--"

"Yes," said Janus. "Whatever you're about to say, yes."

So Patton kissed him. 

[blossom-hwa]

college model!juyeon

SO the people have spoken (aka 3 people but it’s more than 0 so I DON’T CARE) and without further ado HERE WE GO IT’S A COLLEGE MODEL JUYEON BLURB. please reblog if you enjoyed and check out my other dumb overly long blurbs in the stream of idiocy tag on my blog <3

pairing: juyeon x gender neutral!reader

wc: 2.4k

genre: fluff, a bit of angst when mc is stressed, university!au

triggers: cursing, like the tiniest bit of suggestive stuff but absolutely nothing explicit (it’s really just saying juyeon is hot which wbk)

fashion major!kevin

TBZ Scenarios Masterlist | TBZ Drabbles Masterlist

so juyeon isn’t actual a professional model-model like he just happens to be v tall and v handsome and therefore catches the eye of every single fucking fashion major (and other people too) on campus but i’m focusing on the fashion majors because he is LITERALLY model material. have you seen those fucking arms and that fucking face ANYWAY MOVING ON juyeon is an absolute sweetheart behind those stupid muscles and anyone who works with him swears it is impossible like legitimately impossible not to fall in love with his dumb little smile but the thing is juyeon only really agrees to model for fashion major kevin usually like sometimes kevin will pull in a favor and ask him to model for someone else who can’t find anyone (bc let’s be real kevin’s got a lot of friends he could definitely rope someone into modeling for him /cough the other 2/3 of bermuda line cough/ but more often than not kevin takes juyeon not bc juyeon is like the best model or whatever (he’s good obv but some people probably have more experience) but bc juyeon is the only one who will willingly wear some of kevin’s more questionable choices

and the fucking thing is. he still looks good in them. he walks down the runway in this weird ass shirt and pants or whatever the hell kevin’s cooked up for this assignment and people are like.... IT’S SO WEIRD BUT WHY IS JUYEON PULLING IT OFF

so YEAH juyeon is happily modeling his way through college while doing a dance major (one time kevin did his makeup to purposely make him look slightly sweaty and the crowd went fucking insane) and he’s got a lot of things going for him, looks, talent, hard work, etc. and he’s v good at dancing, one of the top in his year so in exchange for his modeling work kevin goes to his dance recitals/competitions to cheer him on and that’s actually how juyeon meets you

you’re feeling shitty bc you just broke up with your partner for whatever reason, let’s just say it was not an amicable breakup and you were about to hole yourself up in 1. the dorm or 2. the lab and just drown yourself in work to forget everything but kevin is one of your good friends and he rolls up and is like. nah. fuck no i’m taking you out we are going to get lunch and then we are going to go see my model friend at one of his dance recitals i promise you it will be FUN and??? you can’t exactly refuse because it’s kevin and he’s not wrong you actually do need to go outside and get some fresh air bc the only time you have left a building over the past week or so is to 1. go to class/the lab from your dorm or 2. to go to your dorm from class/the lab (you are a science major here bc i am a science major and i am heavily projecting ok don’t come at me. though i will say you do theoretical physics which i DO NOT DO but i think it’s cool if mind-blowing so again. projection. despite the fact that i will not touch quantum mechanics after today with a ten foot pole)

so kevin forces you outside and the day is going ok like it’s nice out and he pays for the food and the dance recital is amazing and juyeon has this mf solo that’s absolutely gorgeous and you’re like hitting kevin in the shoulder like omg dude how did you score a friend this talented and he’s like??? what the fuck do you mean by that are you saying i’m not talented and you’re like. well. and then he threatens to deck you but it’s all in good fun anyway MOVING ON when the recital is over kevin drags you over to meet juyeon bc he’s like! it is unacceptable that two of my good friends do not know each other and juyeon if you’re not doing anything you should come with us to dinner! and juyeon is like well i was going to go out with the dance team but you two could come with us and he’s all smiley and soft and you half want to praise the heavens and half want to go to hell bc he looks so sweet and happy and lovely and it’s an honor to be in his presence but at the same time you haven’t left a building for like a week and you’re pretty sure you still have eyebags that haven’t disappeared (jokes on you they’ll never disappear this is university) but kevin says yes for both of you and so you end up with dinner plans too

and it’s fun! everyone is really nice and even though you know nothing about dance you and juyeon end up having v cool conversation about each other’s interests and all that and you’re so immersed in talking with him that you don’t see kevin giving you side-eyes next to you every five fucking minutes (he’s like well. i didn’t see this coming but i’m not going to complain) and by the end of the night you have juyeon’s number in your phone and you’ve made plans to get coffee before class the next day (you don’t have the same class but they’re in adjacent buildings and at the same time so why not) and you go back to your dorm feeling happier than you’ve felt all week

it continues like this?? like it’s actually v weird bc even when you two don’t have plans to meet up juyeon just magically appears around where you’re supposed to be and when you remark on this at one point juyeon just kinda blushes and diverts the topic which makes you suspicious a little but he’s really sweet and has no stalker-ish vibes and you also double-check with kevin who just fucking starts laughing over the phone until you hang up bc he clearly doesn’t have the brain cells to talk to you anywho this is model juyeon and i haven’t talked about that much but HERE WE GO 

kevin has a fashion show assignment coming up and juyeon doesn’t have much time to hang out anymore between fittings with kevin + his own major so you end up carting your ass to the fitting sessions after kevin invites you once to see what’s going on and juyeon actually gets scared by all the numbers n shit on your papers bc like what the fuck y/n are you a computer and you just whap him over the head with your stack of homework and say no shut the fuck up and model pretty boy (you don’t see but juyeon blushes bc you called him pretty. kevin saw though and he’s not impressed) but you end up not focusing on your homework bc kevin has juyeon put on and take off clothes at multiple points during the session and ofc if it’s pants or whatever juyeon goes into a different room but if it’s just a shirt.... let’s just say you get a free show and at some point you’re just like yeah i have to go and kevin’s like?? there’s still an hour left and you say something like i can’t focus here the vibes are off and KEVIN KNOWS WHAT’S UP but juyeon is adorably oblivious so he’s just like! ok! see you later y/n i hope you get your homework done :) and he’s so smiley and cute and you just want to melt and cry bc he’s shirtless which is hot asf but he’s also smiling like that which is cute asf and you’re getting whiplash

(you still end up joining the sessions every so often. you bring homework to try and get it done but your time is either spent critiquing kevin’s fashion choices or staring subtly (not) at juyeon)

then a not good week rolls around and it’s just been absolutely shitty between crap professors and too much homework and your lab is working on submitting a paper soon and you’re stressed to the max and to top things off you saw your ex earlier and they tried to talk to you and you really didn’t want to have it so you’re in the lab crying over your computer while you try to proofread the stupid paper and your phone is off bc you don’t want to talk to anyone but then the door bursts open and you nearly have a heart attack and there juyeon stands in clothes that definitely aren’t his own (they’re too sleek and fancy to be normal clothes at least) and his eyes are kinda wild before they locate you in the corner of the room, shell-shocked and confused and also still crying a little bit out of stress 

and oh god juyeon’s eyes just soften totally and he walks over and before you know it you’re being pulled into a juyeon hug which is quite possibly one of the best hugs you have felt in a very long time and you’re doing your best not to break down right then and there bc his clothes feel hella expensive and he’s asking you what’s wrong and you can’t speak bc if you do you’ll cry on his model clothing and you finally manage to say that and there’s a beat of silence and then juyeon just goes well would it help if i took the shirt off 

AND THAT JUST SETS YOU OFF AND NOW YOU’RE CRYING AND LAUGHING AT THE SAME TIME AND JUYEON IS HALF SMILING HALF UPSET THAT YOU’RE STILL SAD BUT LIKE IT’S FINE IT’S TOTALLY FINE AND somehow you manage not to ruin kevin’s latest fashion creation (which makes juyeon look unfairly handsome even through your puffy eyes) and juyeon closes your laptop and takes you out to the convenience store (still dressed in his modeling outfit jfc) and over shitty ramen and alcohol (or water/juice/whatever if you don’t drink) you tell him about your crap week and juyeon commiserates and listens

at some point you ask him why he’s still wearing kevin’s clothes like?? surely you weren’t running around in them all day and juyeon just looks down and mumbles something and you’re like speak louder dude i can’t hear you and apparently he was in the middle of a session w kevin and kevin looked super stressed and worried and juyeon asked what was up and he told him about how you weren’t responding to anything and juyeon just. booked it the fuck out of there to find you and well now here you both are

and that. that just touches the FUCK out of you and wow you’re crying again bc of that and out of guilt for not talking to kevin or anyone and juyeon’s freaking out like oh my god please stop crying did i say something wrong and you’re just wiping your tears away with a napkin like no you doofus i’m sorry i made you worried it was just that shitty week and??? why did you sprint out of there IN KEVIN’S MODEL CLOTHES you gotta give those back??? and it looks like silk you know that’s going to be a bitch to clean

juyeon just pouts then and mumbles something under his breath and is like. it’s not more important than you.

which makes you reel bc that sounded a lot more like a confession than you’re really ready to process and juyeon seems to realize that at the same time and now you two are both just wide-eyed staring at each other and juyeon’s ears are going red and you’re still in shock and at some point you’re like... juyeon you stupid bastard say that again and he DOES and okay maybe you’re not dating by the end of the night but you sure are two weeks later when you ask him whether or not this is now a date and if he’s your boyfriend and juyeon spills coffee all over himself

(he mumbles yes as you’re wiping the coffee off his front though so it’s fine)

(it does not help that the coffee has now made the outline of his stomach visible)

anyway in general it’s a v cute and v sweet relationship :D juyeon is head over heels for you and you’re head over heels for him too and you’re not like the over the top sweet and gross couple you two like to keep it a little low-key but ofc that doesn’t stop kevin from banning you from fitting sessions w juyeon out of fear that you’ll like make out while juyeon’s wearing the modeling clothes but that’s just kevin being a little shit so it’s fine

juyeon manages to bring that silk shirt back to kevin in one clean piece

you manage not to die every time you go to one of juyeon’s dance recitals (even when he puts in a fake eyebrow piercing and you almost have a heart attack)

juyeon often likes to come into the lab for nothing other than to watch you work bc according to him its fascinating to watch you manipulate numbers and actually the lab is a v nice and quiet place to get things done when it’s mostly empty so you have a few study dates there

you go to juyeon’s dance practices sometimes when you have nothing better to do and get excited over showing him the physics of some of the dance moves and juyeon understands almost none of it but he’s beaming bc you’re so excited and animated while talking about it and the first time this happens is when you two have your first kiss. you ask juyeon if he was kissing you to shut you up and he says no i just thought you looked so happy that i had to kiss you

juyeon is a gentleman and you are like the sarcastic best friend turned lover but it really works out and yea there are a lot of people jealous that you managed to wrap juyeon around your finger but you’re also wrapped around his it’s v much a partnership where both of you rely on each other and yeah. it’s sweet. it’s lovely. juyeon hot but more important juyeon best boyfriend ever <3

and that’s how it goes.

If you enjoyed, please don’t forget to reblog and leave a comment to tell me what you thought! Thank you for reading and have a lovely day <3

(1 reblog = 1 prayer for kevin’s clothes let’s all pray that no tears stain his silk)

[elemental-daddy-neos]

What are everyone’s teams in your Pokemon au? Do you have a plot set out or is it a more causal au?

Oooooh this is a fun one

You'd better fucking BELIEVE we have a plot set up, I have poured so much effort into the Pokemon au

Okay, so: when it comes to teams, I decided that everyone should have at least one legendary Pokemon in their party as a way to be faithful to the ace monster concept, but it wasn’t until much later into the au that I realized I’d failed to do that with Sora’s team, which led to a very fun plot point involving his secret 7th Pokemon he keeps in his box

Teams under the cut because it’s gonna be a long one, boys

Yuya has: Groudon, Sandshrew, Popplio, Hippopotas, Aipom, and Ekans

In his box, he’s got Phanphy, Charmander, Politoad, Ducklett, Liepard, Skorupi, and Lycanroc (Midnight form)

I wanted him to have as many Pokemon as he could that reminded me of the monsters in his deck, and since Yuya is a coordinator in this au instead of a regular trainer, it just felt right that he’d have a lot of different partners he could swap out for various contests

Also I’m mad that there isn’t a legendary dragon that looks like Odd Eyes, so I had to give Yuya Groudon instead, making him the only Yu boy in this au to not have a legendary dragon type Pokemon

Yuto has: Eternatus, Bisharp, Aegislash, Aggron, Lucario, and Shadow Rider Calyrex

Okay listen, I know I was supposed to only give everyone One legendary Pokemon, but with Calyrex I feel justified because it looks So Much like it could be one of Yuto’s Phantom Knights, I mean

Just look at it

Yuto gets to have two legendaries to make up for Arc-V killing him off so early into the show

Aside from this guy, the rest of Yuto’s team just felt like it should be comprised of steel types ow the edge so that’s what I gave him. His Pokemon are as edgy as he tries to appear to be and that is enough to amuse me.

There also weren’t exactly many good Pokemon equivalents of his archetype, so I made do with what I had.

Yugo has: Latios, Scizor, Claydol, Porygon 2, Ponyta (Shiny), and Sudowoodo

Yugo was honestly so hard to come up with a team for because all his Speedroid cards are just like... toys and stuff for the most part, so I agonized over what I should pick for him for a Long time. In the end, I feel like I got close enough to his general aesthetic with the Pokemon I picked.

(His Ponyta is there because of Speedroid Horse Stilts, and while it is a shiny, the dumbass has no idea about it, and thinks he just happened to get a special blue horse that was born a little differently- he never claimed to be smart.)

He also deadass thought Sudowoodo was a grass type for the longest time. Rin had to be the one to tell him it wasn’t. 

“Yugo. Sudowoodo? It sounds like pseudo? As in fake wood?”

“Ohhhhh is that what its name means? Wow Rin you’re so smart.”

No Yugo you’re just exceptionally stupid.

Yuri has: Naganadel, Seviper, Victreebel, Toxicroak, Vileplume, and Roserade

For the most toxic of battlers, I felt it only necessary to give Yuri an all poison type team. I included an even mix of plants in there to tie into his Predaplant deck, Seviper for the snake eye vibes, and Toxicroak... just feels right, you know. I couldn’t find any other poison plant themed Pokemon that seemed like they’d fit his vibe, so he gets a poison frog instead.

Yuzu has: Meloetta, Sylveon, Meowstic (Female), Gardevoir, Florges, and Jigglypuff

I tried to stick with Pokemon that had very feminine vibes for Yuzu, since her deck is comprised of pretty singing ladies, so Meloetta and Jigglypuff in particular feel very fitting in that regard.

Serena has: Cresselia, Delcatty, Glameow, Lopunny, Persian, and Pyroar (Female)

The moon vibes with Cresselia felt perfect for Serena, and as for the rest of her team, all cats and a bunny to pay homage to her Lunalight deck ^^

Rin has: Celesteela, Mismagius, Hatterene, Glaceon, Froslass, and Chimecho

Her team vibes with the witch part of her Wind Witch deck, at least for Mismagius and Hatterene. Glaceon, Froslass, and Chimecho are there due to the etymology of her name, where possible meanings of it include “cold” and “bell”, which I thought was pretty cool, no pun intended.

Ruri has: Galarian Articuno, Pidgeot, Noctowl, Chatot, Altaria, and Unfezant (Male)

Some softer birds for the soft bird girl, for the most part. I liked the thought of her team being all birds like her Lyriluscs, and just... yeah. They’re all very friendly birds that Ruri’s bonded pretty closely with. Also I made sure she had Galarian Articuno for no reason other than it is purple like her, and I think that’s all the reason I need.

Gong has: Kartana, Machoke, Samurott, Golisopod, Hariyama, and Conkeldurr

Gong was really easy to assign a team to- just had to find as many samurai themed Pokemon as possible, and fill in the rest with really strong fighting types, like Machoke, Hariyama, and Conkeldurr.

Shingo has: Type: Null, Dusclops, Misdreavus, Spiritomb, Decidueye, and Cramorant

With Shingo, I tried to go for Pokemon that had the same vibes as some of his Abyss Actors, and I think Dusclops is the best example of this. Tbh I am very proud of giving him a Type: Null because Type: Null is an amalgamation of other Pokemon, something that was created in a lab to be a fighting machine. There’s nothing natural about Type: Null, and it’s kind of terrifying to Yuya specifically, who’s always viewed Pokemon as creatures to befriend. This experiment created purely to kill... unnerves him, and serves as a very good foil to his beliefs when it comes to Pokemon.

And they were narrative foils

Oh my god they were narrative foils

On a sillier note, I chose Cramorant purely because of this quote from its bulbapedia page: “Cramorant are also rather unintelligent as they can't remember which Pokémon they fight in mid battle, but never forget Trainers that they trust. However, they try to attack their Trainers if they steal food from them.”

I just thought the idea of Shingo having this dumb bird that occasionally pecks at him over food would be funny tbh, gotta dunk on the rival at least a little bit.

Sora has: Banette, Vanillish, Swirlix, Stufful, Litleo, and Buneary

In his box, he has a Guzzlord

I feel like Sora’s team is very straightforward, as it’s a mix of sweets themed Pokemon, and Pokemon that represent monsters in his deck- Stufful for Flufflal Bear, Litleo for Fluffal Leo, and Buneary for Fluffal Rabbit. Guzzlord... is relevant later on in the plot after shit goes down, that’s all I’ll say for now.

Masumi has: Diancie, Sableye, Corsola, Aurorus, Tyranitar, and Lycanroc (Dusk form)

Gem Knight girl deserved to have a bunch of good rock type Pokemon, and Diancie is like. The best possible legendary I could have given someone like her lol, the crystal aesthetic is just perfect for her. Not much to say here honestly, I just really vibed with these specific rock types and thought they’d make a good team for her.

Yaiba has: Zeraora, Kecleon, Pangoro, Scyther, Purugly, and Stantler

So I actually threw this list together just now because I realized Masumi was the only member of her trio to have a full team, and that just wasn’t right. I tried to base this team off the XX-Sabers as well I could, but it was a little hard with how many humanoid cards Yaiba has. With his legendary, I actually chose it based off this monster right here! 

I think they’ve got similar enough vibes aesthetically for Zeraora to fit him. Scyther is based on Emmersblade, Kecleon on Ragigura, Stantler on Garsem, Purugly on Gardestrike, and Pangoro... Honestly, it just makes me think of Yaiba himself when I look at him. I think they’d get along well.

Hokuto has: Deoxys, Espeon, Grumpig, Starmie, Lunatone, and Malamar

Psychic type Pokemon just sort of felt right for him to have, considering that his deck is based on constellations and has an overall space theme to it. Not sure why that translates over to psychic in my brain, but you know what, it looks right, I love this team for him, and I’m not gonna question it.

I especially think Deoxys makes a good legendary for him considering it is literally a space alien, and Hokuto’s whole thing is space, so yeah, he gets to have the space alien.

Shun has: Galarian Moltres, Skarmory, Fearow, Dodrio, Staraptor, and Talonflame

Pretty straightforward team I feel- it’s all birds of prey for the Raid Raptor boy, and I just thought the Galarian version of Moltres was neat. Makes me think of his Blaze Falcon since they’re both black and red.

Dennis has: Hoopa, Mr. Mime, Delphox, Zoroark, Alakazam, and Hawlucha

Hoopa seemed like a very good legendary for Dennis to have, given his deck archetype and all, he just kind of looks like a little circus dude. Its unbound form makes me think about the swap Dennis has when it gets revealed that he’s actually been a double agent the whole time, and the play gloves finally come off.

The rest of his team... I feel like they speak for themselves. I tried to give him Pokemon that matched up with his deck archetype, so there’s Delphox to rep the fire themed monsters, Mr. Mime because it just fits Dennis’ general personality- and I love the thought of those two being friends and just copying each other’s theatric poses. Chaotic dynamic duo.

(Also: Zoroark's ability letting it disguise itself as another Pokemon is just another parallel to Dennis pretending to be one of the good guys at first, and I love it)

Shinji has: Buzzwole, Beedrill, Vespiquen, Ribombee, Kricketune, and Leavanny

I tried to give the bee man all the bees I could, but there are only so many bee Pokemon out there 😔 I knew the rest of his team had to be insect types to make up for it, so I picked Kricketune because he is just... a friend... a musical buddy who definitely gets along well with the kids. Leavanny is just a bug mom who also helps patch up the kids’ clothing when they get tears in them, which I just love the idea of. Sweet bug mom whose dex entry talks about how they sew for other Pokemon looks after her trainer’s kids when she’s not battling.

Buzzwole: witness the fitness

Throwback to the Smash Bros mains lmao 

Crow has: Murkrow, Braviary, Starly, Swellow, Pikipek, and Corviknight

Bunch of birds for my Blackwing user... This team was partially picked out by June, and it was mostly meant for the Other Pokemon au, but I don’t really see a reason to change his team here. Crow is the one person without a legendary on his team, which makes me sad, but there really isn’t a legendary bird out there that fits his vibes, so as much as I wanna give him a legendary, he will have to make do without one. Sorry Crow.

Hoo... that’s finally all the teams down. Now I can talk about the plot! So, as I briefly mentioned in a previous post (I think), this particular au is inspired by Pokemon Diamond/Pearl/Platinum! It’s the era where contests really became a big thing, which is perfect for a lot of these characters because it’s easy to translate dueltaining over to coordinating in this world. Much like in canon, Yuya aspires to be as great a coordinator as his dad was, and strives to entertain people the way Yusho could. He’s not much for battling, and far prefers getting to show off his Pokemon’s talents in contests than anything. 

Academia is going to play the role of Team Galactic in this au, which is incredibly fitting with their mission in canon: to remake the universe in their leader’s image. In this case, with Leo Akaba taking on the role of Cyrus, his intent is, presumably, to either destroy the universe that took his daughter from him, or create a new one where she can live once again, no matter the cost.

Sora being a key member in Team Galactic is a very big part of the plot in this au: his mission was to capture one of the lake legendaries, Uxie, since Leo needed all three of them for his plan to remake the universe, but things don’t exactly go well for him, and he ends up losing his battle against Uxie, resulting in all of his memories being locked away, and essentially making him a blank slate.

Side note: the Galactic grunt haircut reminds me a lot of Sora, I mean just look at it

Practically same bangs as him, just add an upturned ponytail and you’ve got my son.

This post is getting very long... but I will add one last plot related thing to it before I go: Uxie can erase memories, Mesprit can erase emotions, and Azelf can erase willpower. All three of these lake legendaries play a very important role in the plot, due to being the keys to Leo Akaba’s plans to remake the universe. Sora was touched by Uxie, effectively doing away with all memory he has of being in Team Galactic. Yuya ends up touched by Mesprit in an attempt to save them, and subsequently loses his emotions as a result. Riley?

Riley had been affected by all three of them before the plot began, which is why she is the way she’d been in Arc-V: Emotionless, unable to remember anything about her past except for those brief, fleeting flashes of memory when put into certain situations she’d experienced before, and without any will of her own. She’s so dependent on her older brother because she quite literally has no clue what to do with herself without being told to, and needs orders to function.

Hoo, if you’ve made it all the way to the end of the post, congratulations! I think this is the longest one I’ve made... ever lmao. I hope you guys found it enjoyable! If anyone wants to know more about certain aspects of this au, feel free to ask! I look forward to talking about it more c:

[cyberramblings]

Sonic & Tails: Ideas for a new Sonic Plot and Partner System

So, first off, there is a game called Sonic & Knuckles. It is basically just the second half of the overly ambitious Sonic 3. It is not Sonic 4, but it is a standalone game. Anyways, there isn’t a game called Sonic & Tails yet, so let’s make that happen.

Regardless of that, I wanted to talk about my vague conceptualizations of a Sonic game plot. I WANTED to continue my thoughts on other Sonic characters, but my stupid brain can’t stop thinking about “what if Sonic and Tails fought?” Again, this is getting into some borderline fanfiction territory, but I write the blog AND the rules.

Piggybacking off my previous post detailing my thoughts on Tails, I had said that I liked the idea of Tails taking over Robotnik’s lab after he is defeated once and for all (or temporarily, I don’t expect Sonic Team to kill off the main villain, as much as I’d pseudo-ironically love Sonic Adventure 3 to open with Eggman’s funeral while Sound of Silence plays like the overly edgy funeral scene from Watchmen 2009).

Now, this is also getting into some serious Marvel Civil War or Batman v. Superman territory, but stick with me. I feel like one of the most underutilized aspects of Sonic as a series is the cast of characters. Maybe it is just me, but I feel like Sonic fans want to see their favorite obscure character return or see as many characters as possible. Even the most trivial characters have a cult following in the weird Sonic fandom. It was really cool to see the obscure Sonic the Fighters characters return for a boss fight in Sonic Mania, even if they were just an illusion. I am proposing a Sonic game where nearly every characters returns to make up the boss fights.

Now, the first issue with this idea is that typically the “rival” battles in Sonic are a bit hit or miss. Fights against playable characters in the Adventure IMO felt pretty flat and uninteresting. Now, 2D Sonic has some better boss battles against the likes of Metal Sonic and Knuckles and the same goes for Generations, so maybe those could be emulated. Regardless of gameplay, I’d like to see all the weirdies like the playable cast of Sonic Heroes, The Fighters, Emerl, Blaze, Gamma E-102, etc. return at least as boss fights, if not as playable characters, even if they are just piloting the mechs that would typically be piloted by Eggman. I get zero excitement from fighting Eggman anymore, but just put Rouge’s model in the cockpit and suddenly its way cooler with more potential for unique boss dialogue.

So far I have proposed a Civil War-style plot where Tails goes a little bit off the deep end and a Sonic game where the boss fights are all the beloved recurring characters. It should be obvious how these two parts fit together. Perhaps the dual story structure of Adventure 2 is overplayed by this point, but obviously it would fit in with these ideas.

To get into the nitty gritty and provide an example of what I am imagining, consider Metal Sonic. I can easily see a plot that starts with Tails reconfiguring Metal Sonic to be “good”. This bring back a classic character in a new way and allows for a lot of angles for the plot to go, of course borrowing from various Iron Man plots and the Buffy-bot from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

One idea from Sonic Adventure that I would really like to see return is the ever-evolving nemesis concept. Even if Sega never really brings back Chaos, I’d love to see a rival that increases in power as the game goes along. This could totally tie in with my previous idea, with Metal Sonic becoming more powerful over the course of the game, possibly with the acquisition of the Chaos Emeralds like Chaos does. Metal Sonic already has been shown to take on a few different forms, such as at the end of Sonic Heroes.

Another story beat that I’d like to see replicated is the end of Adventure 2 where Sonic and Shadow have to team up. Now, in this hypothetical Sonic & Tails game, that would obviously be Sonic and Tails teaming up, but I’d also love to see them bust out Mecha Sonic as a kind of retconned prototype of Metal Sonic from Sonic 2/3 as a last resort too.

I also love the story beat of all the playable characters at the end of Sonic Adventure bringing the depleted Chaos Emeralds to Sonic for the final fight. I would love to see something like this but a little more weighty. I have a clear mental image of something like the Breath of the Wild loading screen that shows your level of progress though the game, but instead with Sonic endlessly walking towards the camera as the game loads, surrounded by more and more characters walking towards the screen as you rescue/recruit them.

Personally, it seems like Sonic games struggle to balance multiple playable characters, so I’d settle for something like Advance 3 where you pick a partner that enables new moves. I would prefer to find a way to include every possible character as playable, but I would settle for a 3D Sonic game where Sonic (and maybe characters that control near identically like Metal Sonic, Shadow, Silver, Blaze, etc.) is the only playable character, with characters like Tails, Knuckle, Amy, Big, etc. are relegated to the partner role, but swappable.

Playable Characters:

Sonic: Everything normal

Metal Sonic: Just make him control like he does in Adventure 2: Battle, so faster than Sonic but with less moves. I don’t think Metal Sonic has ever been canonically playabe, only appearing as a boss fight or playable in racing games or bonus modes, so that would be my biggest request.

Shadow: Just Sonic but slipperier and please give him a teleport instead of a homing attack

Silver: Again, just Sonic but make his double jump more offensive to represent his telekinetic abilities

Blaze: Her name is BLAZE and she has FIRE POWERS in Rush and Rush Adventure, so please just make her control like Sonic but with a fiery homing attack or her fire hover from Rush

Espio: Just give him some kind of limited invisibility or maybe the tornado attack as a reference to Heroes

Mighty: He could probably be thrown in with his moves from Mania, but this is reaching

Jet: Probably asking too much, but he’s never been playable in non-racing game, so even seeing him with his board in a main game as a kind of joke would be cool

Assist Characters:

Tails, Cream, Charmy: Obviously, limited flight with slightly different characteristics. Cream could alternatively have the Chao attack from Advance

Knuckles, Rouge, Tikal: Either a limited glide or the digging

Amy: Piko Piko Hammer as an attack or as a big jump. She could also maybe be a Sonic-like characters, but I feel like she was shoehorned into the speed role in Heroes

Big: I just like seeing this dumb idiot return. It seems like asking a lot for the fishing rod to be used as a grappling hook, so maybe he could just have a big area attack

Fang/Knack, Bark, Bean: I mean, maybe just show up and fistfight some enemies?

Vector: Something music based, realistically

Chaos: Again, this is reaching, but maybe this ties into Tails taking over Eggman’s research

E-1XX Alpha, Gamma, Omega, etc: It is asking a lot to have all the robots return, but I’d love to see them all as slight variants of “shoot a bunch of missiles” or limited hovering

Omochao: Personally I’d love to see this little guy as an assist who just never shuts up, maybe with some hidden secret-unlocking potential

Vanilla: She doesn’t have a lot of game appearances, I’d take anything

G.U.N. Commander: Again, I just think this would be kinda funny. He could summon robots or just fire missiles

Eggman Nega: Not sure why he would help the main characters, but I’m always rooting for weird stuff like this

Wave, Storm: They could function like Tails/Knuckles or grant a temporary board for tricks or whatnot, maybe like the skateboard powerup from Sonic Generations

Tails Doll: This is dumb, but it would be fun to see as a little throwaway easter egg

So, that was a bunch of random nonsense directly from my brain, but you probably get the idea: find a way to include a lot of characters in the plot and the gameplay. Do I expect any of this to ever happen? No. And honestly, I’d prefer to see another game where I can actually play as characters like Rouge, the robots, Amy, and Cream.

ONE LAST THING: There should really be a Sonic rhythm game. They have so much music, both the classic songs as well as the Crush 40 songs, with tons of remixes of both already existing and even more possible. It would fit perfectly with the gameplay of Sonic, you could just have the notes appear as obstacles or powerup boxes. There are a million different ways to slice it, but it just makes too much sense to ignore. I don’t have enough ideas to make a separate post, though. Maybe I’ll make a playlist sometimes of songs I’d like to see included, but the issue is that it would be way too many songs. As with the main point of this post, I would love to see many different playable characters with very slight changes to their properties.

ONE LAST LAST THING: Since Sega hates localizing Puyo Puyo games, they should just make a new Mean Bean Machine with HD graphics and all the various Sonic characters represented somehow and then release it internationally either as Mean Bean Machine or just Sonic Puyo Puyo. Again, I didn’t have enough ideas for a whole post.

FINAL FINAL FINAL RAMBLES: I kinda wanna play Sonic 06 since I actually just recently found out that Rouge, Omega, and Blaze are playable, but the disc is 20 bucks at gamestop for 360. I also kinda wanna play Unleashed, but not enough to buy it. I really get more excited when more characters are playable, which makes me wish I enjoyed playing Sonic Battle more. I also have my eye on Chronicles if I can ever get the patience to actually sit down and play it. At this point, I should just make my own dang original game or story inspired by the things I like about Sonic.

[rosaguard]

summer waxes poetically about her favorite aeris gainsborough ships:

i never reblogged that five ships meme because...well i don’t have five aeris ships i care about lol. however, i was challenged(tm) so here is something close to it. i do feel like it is fitting to make this post on here since aeris was actually the first muse i truly started writing a ship on after asking someone first ( and i had been writing on tumblr for like...5 years on and off before that for context. anything before that was just..maybe flirting - nothing i felt invested in ).

aeris & happiness.

   the most important ship. the OTP. no other can compare. i think the biggest tragedy of aeris’ death is that so much was taken from her. she had so much to live for, so much to do, and her life was brutally and suddenly ripped away when she was finally getting the chance to figure herself out and rise to her full potential. i don’t want to aeris to die in the remake ( especially because everything about the whispers would’ve felt like a waste of time if nothing significant changes and aeris living is probably as significant as you can get ) but if it happens, it happens - i’ll just be really sad and disappointed by it lol. i’ve always been very clear that aeris’ death is not a bad one despite my blog canon essentially retconning it. there’s a reason she dies and it’s not to further cloud’s man pain ( he had enough of his own trauma already ); she dies because she’s a legitimate threat to sephiroth’s plans. she’s actually an example of a character death, especially a female one, done incredibly well, especially compared to SE’s recent output ( serah, luna, etc. ). also anyone who says she was created just to die is also wrong. barret was originally written to die first and they decided to change it.

    anyway, the point of me bringing all of this up is that i didn’t decide to do away with her death because i think SE sucks and they hate women. i did away with it because a lot of aeris’ character development ( her learning about the cetra at cosmo canyon, figuring out what the white materia does, etc ) is implied / off-screen since we never know her point of view and then well...she dies. i wanted to explore what her feelings would be if she woke up alive after being attacked while meteor is slowly drawing closer to the planet. how would she handle that? how would she feel? would she feel like a failure? would she be angry? what would she do after meteor is destroyed? would she travel the world? join the w.r.o? tell everyone to fuck off and then move to a cottage in the middle of nowhere and live the rest of her life in peace? these are the questions i wanted answered when i thought about aeris living. i don’t care if she ends up with cloud, or zack, or whoever because they don’t matter: aeris matters. she’s her own person with goals, desires, wishes, and more. no one talks about what she would want and do if she had lived. all people care about is what ‘man’ she belongs to as if she’s a prize to be exchanged between them.

   the second reason is simple that she fucking deserves it. she deserves it after living in a lab for 7 years and watching her mother die just trying to get her out. she deserves after having to deal with being stalked by the same company responsible for a lot of her suffering. she deserves to finally be around friends that make her feel loved, accepted, and cared for. she deserves to not feel alone, or like an outcast, or a freak because of her powers. she deserves to be able to go to icicle inn too and see footage of her father for the first time. she deserves to be able to go back to kalm and see her mom again. she deserves to live happily just like everyone else gets to do. her life has been filled with so much tragedy and pain yet she never lets it define her. she blooms in the face of adversity. she keeps smiling even up until the end of her life. she deserves happiness as her end-game and if i don’t get it in canon, i’m going to create it here myself.

aeris & cloud.

    i disliked this ship for a long time. it actually wasn’t because of the ship itself but due to some of my experiences with the shippers. i won’t go into my fandom experiences but i ran an account dedicated to ti.fa for almost six years so i’ve seen how...unpretty both sides of the 'ship war’ can get and it turned me off. a lot. when i decided to write aeris, i immediately started a replay of the the original game with an ‘aeris-lens’ ( analyzing her character, her relationships, making sure i got her date, etc. ). it made me look at her relationship with cloud in a different light since i had never really paid attention to it as heavily before since i avoided the ship tbh. i ended up enjoying their dynamic a lot. they have a natural chemistry with each other but there’s also this unspoken distance between them which is fully intentional - she has her own walls up and he has his. 

    they have a very ‘tragic love’ since well...she dies before anything can fully go to the next level. their relationship in canon is a very ‘what if’ and as a result, i often see people who don’t like the ship claim that they wouldn’t work because aeris wouldn’t be able to ‘deal’ with cloud and would’ve left. to be blunt, this a bad take considering supporting one another is prevalent throughout their relationship: 

aeris: i learned a lot. the elders taught me many things. about the cetra... and the promised land... i'm...... alone... i'm all alone now... cloud: but i'm...... we're here for you, right? aeris: i know. i know, but... i am the only...... cetra. cloud: does that mean we can't help?

cloud: ...i gave the black materia to sephiroth...? wha... what did I do... tell me, aeris. aeris: cloud... be strong, ok? He writhes and clutches his head. cloud urrrrrrgh... what have I done!? aeris: cloud... you haven't done anything. it's not your fault.

cloud: yeah, I hear you. sorry for what happened. aeris: don't worry about it. cloud: ...i can't help it... aeris: oh... then, why don't you REALLY worry about it? and let me handle sephiroth. and cloud, you take care of yourself. so you don't have a breakdown, okay?

    the remake only reinforces everything i like about their relationship: their banter is great, aeris gently takes his hand during one of his ‘moments’ and supports him, she confides in him about talking to her flowers, and he never treats her differently ( which is a big deal when just two nights before, he told someone to ‘get help’ when they claimed they could hear the planet lol ). they have so much in common as well: they both have struggled with loneliness, being an outcast, and not having a lot of friends. i’ll always find it incredibly interesting how cloud is repeatedly not invited to be apart of group functions in the remake ( he wasn’t allowed to celebrate with avalanche and had to sit outside jessie’s house as the others ate pizza ) until he met aeris and she invited him to have dinner with her and her mom. despite the ‘bodyguard’ dynamic to their relationship, they always feel like equals to me.

aeris: today’s special!!! cloud: why? aeris: because i met you, you dumb binch!!!

aeris: *says cryptic stuff and tells him that they can’t fall in love* ( i’m saying they because apparently in japanese / other languages she says ‘we can’t fall in love’, not just ‘you can’t fall in love with me’. ) cloud: uh....how about i do anyway??? also i’m saving you so...see you tomorrow at 11. bye.

me: their relationship never gets to a serious level because the opportunity was taken away from them de to unfortunate circumstances. 

also me: they’re just just...dumb and in love!!!! i’m sorry, that’s just the way it is!!!! she literally tells him that meeting him again was special to her and the silly boi doesn’t get it!!!! one of the composers of the game even said a tracks that plays with them is meant to have a romantic vibe!! when she pulls away from him, he reaches out for her because he doesn’t want her to let go!! the lyrics of hollow is literally ‘this time i’ll never LET YOU GO’ AAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!

    anyway, i’ve also noticed this weird trend in the fandom where it feels like cloud is never allowed to just has his own dedicated feelings about aeris - and i’m not even talking about romantic feelings. i feel like whenever there is talk about cloud’s relationship with za.ck or ti.fa, no one inserts aeris into it. they’re allowed to have their individual relationships with him yet with aeris it feels like you cannot talk about how much she meant to him and vice versa without other characters being thrown in. i don’t know if it’s because of shipping and people don’t want to acknowledge that like...characters can have feelings for multiple people or what but the reality is that cloud did feel something for her. she did mean a lot to him; so much so that he slept in her church two years after she was dead and went to her burial place alone. he missed her.  maybe it was just as a friend, maybe it was because of something more but i really dislike how their relationship and importance to each other, regardless of whether it’s platonic or romantic, is constantly invalidated.

aeris & gene.

     when kas / @castershot first created channels for gene and aeris in our rp server last year, i honestly did not think these two would have a serious relationship at all. i figured maybe they would have a fling or something at best / aeris would be the equivalent of a filler character in a few episodes of the show and then they would go their separate ways. ...that didn’t happen but i’m glad it didn’t! i didn’t know a gosh diddly darn thing about outlaw star but i’m very good at researching and aggressively reading wikis so i was able to whip up a verse ( and someone who watched the show thought i had actually watched it after reading my verse so i guess i did a darn good job! ). anyway, i feel like when writing aeris it’s very easy to...hmm...fall into very certain dynamics and considering gene’s line of work ( doing odd jobs, being a bodyguard for hire, a general jack of all trades ), i didn’t want it to be the ‘he’s a bodyguard, she gets protected, blah blah blah’ dynamic but in space. so their relationship ( at least in my head - there’s a lot going on in there tbh!!! ) basically became somewhat of a deconstruction of cl.erith + ( bad ) stereotypes about aeris in general:

      what if the helpless flower girl that needs saving from the big bad corporation is actually a liar who works for said corporation and was sent by them to retrieve something important(tm) and eliminate anyone that gets in her way? what if aeris, a secret member of the turks, has become so desensitized when interacting with other people since she is constantly wearing a mask and she can’t tell if she’s genuinely falling for someone or if her acting is just so good that even she can’t tell what’s real or fake anymore? what if i took all those bad takes about aeris knowing she would die, flip it, and actually make it so that she does know and still goes alone anyway because she wants to save lives for once instead of being the person who takes them away!!

me: imagine the drama!!! the angst!!! kas, casually: [redacted name b/c of spoilers] would just bring her back to life. me: WHAT?! >:(

apparently one character in the show is casually just GOD and can revive people so they can come back like:

    my bubble was BURST. dreams DASHED. plans CRUSHED. dramatics aside, i still kept the idea of her dying because i do like the take of a more secretly jaded / not as ‘pure’ aeris that works for shinra and has to basically relearn how to trust / care about others again + i live to attack kas and all of her muses. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.  anyway, the point is that i love them and they’re a dynamic i’m very invested in the more times passes. they’re both so stupid and passionate and loud ( the first in character thing i wrote when i remade this blog was them screaming at each other in an argument ) but they’re also sensitive, don’t open up to others easily, and have trauma!! oof x 100.

me: this ship won’t be serious lol the ship, months later: may or may not have a thread with them going on a date. may or may not have gone to ti.fa and cloud’s wedding together ( where kissafist’s tif.a may or may not threaten to smash his balls in if he doesn’t treat aeris right. *smash em, rip em plays in the distance as aeris aggressively laughs nervously* ), they may or may not get married and have twins that may or may not be named ren and rose. me: clown putting on make up.png

so yea, they’ve come a long way(tm).

the end.

[gem-quest]

[ QUEST 01. — I N F E R N A ]

taglist: @ayzrules​ @bebemoon​ @atimefordragons​ @armadasneon​ @now-on-elissastillstands​ @interluxetumbra​ @pulltheskydown​

Inferna was hanging out in her favorite spot in Yue City - the lousy excuse of a Chinese restaurant, because it was just so easy to market her Inferna Sauce and sriracha to players who came away disappointed by the Asian dishes with absolutely zero seasoning - when the announcement popped up in the sky.

[  . . . T O U R N E Y . A N D . F A I R . I N . W I L D F L O W E R . M E A D O W . . . L E V E L . O N E . . .  ]

"Well, shit, that's just right around the corner," Inferna said out loud, putting away her sauce for the time being. She wasn't sure if she was going to compete - she'd prooobably get distracted by the free food - but it might be fun to just watch for a little bit.

So, with one over-dramatic whoosh of her hooded black capelet (which was decorated with intricate gold embroidery, because Inferna didn't wear things that were plain, thank you very much), Inferna was off.

When she got to the meadowlands, the entire place was filled with stalls and throngs of players eager to watch the tournament. Inferna decided that she'd watch the tournament after some refreshments, and immediately headed for the food stalls. She stocked up on some chicken pot pies and mead, nibbling on an apple turnover as she browsed. Eventually, she came across a wyvern being turned over a spit, and tossed the NPCs roasting the thing a coin in exchange for a hunk of meat, which she drizzled her homemade hot sauce over before biting into.

It tasted just like chicken. Then again, most meats that weren't pork or beef also tasted like chicken, in Inferna’s opinion.

Rats, for example; Inferna had been dared to eat a rat skewer in the City of Magic, once. She did it, and got a whole blueberry pie in return. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy. And that pie had been good.

Inferna wandered around for another thirty minutes, snacking on the wyvern kebab, before finally making her way over to the lists. She frowned when she noticed that there were almost no seats, instead hopping up onto the balustrade after shoving all the dumb meatheads out of the way.

There. That’s a perfect view, she thought, satisfied. She was taking in the sight of the Moonstone player with the pretties armor she’d ever seen facing off an Obsidian player in all black, just as she felt someone flick her calf.

“What the f-” Inferna’s muttered profanity was cut off when she noticed who it was.

"Hey, what’s up? You’re Neddy, right?" she asked, grinning widely. Inferna had met Neddy back in Level Ten, AKA Finvarra’s Gardens, and honestly, Inferna thought she was the sweetest thing. And her dragon, ugh - Inferna would never! Get! Over! Jack!!!!

The other girl looked up. "Inferna?" 

Inferna beamed down at her and offered her a hand up instead of answering. 

Neddy took her hand, and Inferna pulled her up onto the balustrade with her. “View’s better up here,” she told her with a wink, grinning her usual shit-eating grin.

Inferna was about to go back to watching the action - the Obsidian player had easily unseated the Moonstone one - when she noticed...was that Jack?!?! Riding in a basket on Neddy’s back?????

She gave an excited half-squeal, half-exclaimation. “God, Jack is so freaking adorable! Does he still like sugar cubes?" she fired off, pulling out a sugar cube she’d gotten from the Tearoom, as well as a tiny bottle of Inferna Sauce (she’d decided that she was going to make mini bottles to carry around outside of her inventory, just for convenience). She dunked the sauce onto the sugar cube.

"How are you faring out there?" asked Neddy.

“It’s been pretty chill on my end,” Inferna replied, giving the Moonstone player a cheeky grin. “Haven’t really done anything exciting, besides get some blueberry scones from the Tearoom yesterday; they’re amazing. I was at Level 39 the other day too, but fighting the dragon is so much work, so I fucked off after a few minutes.”

Her attention strayed back to Neddy’s dragon. “Ooh, fuck, Jack is so cute. Here, you’re a good boy, aren’t you?” she said, gently tossing the sugar cube in the air and clapping with delight when Jack caught it in his mouth.

“What about you? Got anything fun going on?” she asked Neddy a moment later, tearing her eyes away from the miniature dragon.

"Nothing quite as exciting as thirty-nine," Neddy replied. "I've just gotten through floor twenty-nine by the skin of my teeth. Mermaid Cove won't be easy for me since I'm currently, you know, on my own."  

Inferna nodded, grimacing. “Oh, yeah, that level’s a pain in the ass if you don’t have a party. I think I got through it by just finding a group that needed an extra person who didn’t care about Angel’s Breath. Aydina - that’s the NPC you go up against - is kind of a cunt, too. Like, I get that it’s just pre-written dialogue, but the lady could be nicer while trying to fuck us over with that dodgeball of hers, you know?”

Inferna rolled her eyes at the thought of the pirate queen. Really, though, she was a cunt, she mused to herself. Everything she said, just - ugh! So unnecessary. 

It was a known fact that Inferna talked so much shit about any and all of the NPCs in the game. She was a bit infamous for it within the Obsidian Guild, actually, which was something that Inferna was immensely proud of.

"I’m not very good at dodgeball," said Neddy.

Inferna shrugged. “It was my favorite thing in gym, when I still had to take that bullshit class. All I did was dick around and throw balls at the annoying people in my grade, even if they were technically on my team,” she said, in the most solemn voice she could muster. 

She continued. “I thought that level was pretty fun, besides Aydina’s totally unnecessary commentary. So I can help you, if you want,” she said, “if you bribe me somehow. Since I don’t see how helping you with dodgeball helps my Guild, after all.”

Neddy seemed surprised. "Bribe?" she managed to get out. "I don't have much in the way of coin. . . . I'm not formidable by any means. Surely, it won't hurt Obsidian any if you help little old me move through a lower floor."

Inferna narrowed her eyes, skeptical. “Little old you and a dragon,” she pointed out, gesturing towards Jack. As cute as Jack was, both miniature and at his full size, he was still a, you know, dragon.

Neddy nodded, slowly. "Yeah. Okay- well, I can give you all the apricot tartlets in my inventory if you help me out."

Inferna bit her lip. Apricot tartlets? That was...that was a tempting offer. Plus, dodgeball was really fun, and plus, Inferna sort of owed Neddy, because Neddy had saved Inferna from being eternally trapped in Level Ten with that insufferable faerie prince (but the sweets on that level all looked absolutely divine, so could you really blame her?).

“Alright fine, I’ll do it,” Inferna agreed, flipping her red hair over one shoulder. “Just tell me when, and I’ll be there. But don’t make it before noon, or I’ll probably sleep straight through it. Like, I’m not even kidding; last semester I somehow slept through ten alarms and missed a 12:30 PM lab. So don’t make it before twelve.”

She narrowed her eyes, again. “Now hand over those tartlets.”

After Neddy had given her the tartlets, Inferna lingered for a little while, then decided to go find some other food to eat, nibbling on one of the tartlets as she went. She bought a steak and mashed potatoes dish, stowing it away in her virtual inventory for the time being.

A commotion by the lists caught her attention, about an hour or so later. Intrigued, Inferna crept closer, just in time to see a fellow Obsidian player wearing a flowy dress win a duel. Inferna cheered with the rest of her Guild, elbowing closer for a better view.

Hey, she thought, suddenly. Isn’t that the girl I saw yesterday?

Inferna let her gaze follow the blonde girl as she collected her prize money and went off towards one of the open areas. She took off after her, finding that it was extraordinarily easy to follow the other player when she was wearing a pretty flower crown - all she had to do was look for the flowers in the crush of people.

Once Inferna reached the grassy field, she scanned the area before finally locating the girl she met at the Descend the day before.

“Oh, hey,” Inferna said, trotting over. A quick glance at her profile said that she went by ‘Morningstar’. “I saw your duel, by the way. Congrats on winning.” She grinned.

Morningstar gave her a scathing look. Inferna ignored it and flopped down to sit on the grass next to her, dragging out a bottle of Inferna Sauce from her inventory, as well as as the steak and mashed potatoes dish she’d just purchased. She all but drenched the food with her hot sauce, because everything in the game was so damn bland - to someone who’d grown up eating spicy food, anyway. 

“Do you want some, by the way?” Inferna asked, glancing up at Morningstar and grinning again. “It’s hot sauce. For when the white people food in this game gets too boring.”

She paused, for a moment. “I’ll trade you a bottle for a potion that makes me feel like I’ve just smoked some weed, if you have any. Or if you have anything like vodka? This mead and ale and stuff is fine, but jesus fucking christ, sometimes I just want to take two shots and be done.”

The two of them talked for a bit. Inferna mentioned that she’d be doing dodgeball with Neddy soon, and asked Morningstar if she’d want to join in. Then, once Inferna was hungry again, she got up and went searching for more food.

I should probably also get something if I’m going up against Aydina again, she thought. God, but she’s such a fucking cunt.

As such, Inferna found the marketplace and bought herself a few propugnatio potions, knowing that she’d need them to up her defense for the underwater dodgeball game; as a fire-mage, she was more vulnerable in aquatic environments. She also stocked up on fortissime potions, just to make sure her fiery attacks would pack an extra punch.

Satisfied with her haul, Inferna tossed the items into her inventory and went towards one of the stalls selling pastries. God, but they smelled good.

[cottonblush]

blooming days | pjs

❧ word count: 2,533

❧ genre: fluff-ish, more to come in later parts

❧ notes: so i was originally gonna make this one super long post but i had this idea of how i could split it up and make it more interesting so i think it’ll be a three part series?? the first part is shorter than the rest because it’s an intro but i just wanted to some background about how jisung and the reader first meet. and i may or may not have been inspired by day6′s m/v series from the sunrise and moonrise albums but that’s irrelevant. this is unedited and i typed some of it out on my phone bc my laptop was being dumb and kept glitching (we don’t stan). btw i’ll be trying out a new layout so we’ll see how it goes

❧ parts: planting, budding, ---

Jisung rests his head on his arms, which lay on the worn out surface of the cash desk, the cool air of the a/c doing nothing to help alleviate the sweat that’s pooled on his neck. Summer is winding down to a close, but it’s a summer day nonetheless, so the air is still thick and the temperature is still high enough that Jisung is tempted to lay down by the tiny produce section of the corner convenience store and give up on his job entirely. It doesn’t help that he’s also extremely bored. He’d usually have some homework to work on or friends to text, but the second semester has only just begun and almost all of his friends have decided to form an Overwatch league without him. He’s in the middle of questioning whether or not he should quit his job when his train of thought is interrupted by two things: the unequivocal fact that he so desperately needs money to pay for his Apple Music subscription and honey butter chip addiction, as well as the jingle of the bell that signals that a customer has entered the store.

“Dude, I know. Like, the fact that she assigned us two whole pages of problems on the third day of school? Not my physics teacher. I don’t claim her,” your voice rings through the almost empty store as you hold your phone to your ear with one hand and use the other to grab a basket. Jisung’s eyes trail your figure as you place multiple bags of honey butter chips in your basket and he feels his stomach practically try to eat itself out of hunger. You grab a small bottle of sprite and head towards the front of the store, still talking about the same teacher, “What do you mean, I can’t not claim her? I, as a decent human being, refuse to accept her as one of our own. She literally has to be an alien. Or the world’s biggest sadist.”

You quickly tell you’re the person on the other side of the line that you have to hang up as you place your items on the table in between yourself and the young man in front of you. You ask him how his day has been, bringing up the fact that he must be suffering in this weather, and Jisung is grateful a chance at human interaction.

“Could be better, to be honest, but at least I don’t have any homework. That must suck,” he says with mild amusement.

Your cheeks quickly turn a soft pink as you scratch the back of your head with embarrasment and reply, “Was I really that loud that you could hear the whole conversation? Wow, I really need to turn it down a notch, don’t I?”

“Nah, you’re fine. It’s really quiet in here and I might’ve been eavesdropping. I get bored really easily.”

Jisung hears a soft chuckle and feels the corners of his own mouth start to quirk upwards. The conversation so far has just consisted of small-talk, and he knows that you’ll be gone within the next minute, but you honestly feel like a breath of fresh air to him. He doesn’t know why but once you pay for your items and leave, he hopes for you to stop by again. He hopes he can get to know a little more about you than just your name (he took a peak at the name on your debit card earlier and knows it’s a little creepy but has no regrets). He’s known for being quite shy, but this time Jisung thinks it’d do him some good to try and befriend you.

Alas, luck is never on his side because the next time he sees you is a month into the semester. You’re wearing a school uniform this time and he literally wants to smack himself because ohmygod you go to the same school as him. How has he not seen you around before? You’ve now completely piqued his interest and he can’t take his eyes off you even as you give him a wary look while walking up to the counter.

When asked if he’s okay, Jisung is snapped out of his reverie and tries not to pretend like he hasn’t almost swallowed his own tongue before responding with, “Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just… what grade are you in? I’m not trying to pry or anything. We go to the same school, t-that’s all.”

Jisung really wants to slap himself when he finds out not only are you two attending the same school, but you’re also in the same grade. Perhaps he’s going blind just like his friends keep telling him. Perhaps you have a secret ability that makes you invisible when you’re around him at school. Perhaps he’s just been stuck in his own world and too shy. Reluctantly, Jisung admits that the third one holds the most truth.

When asked what classes you’re taking, you explain that you want to major in physics, so most of your classes are math and physical science based. In turn, Jisung says that he’s interested in computer programming, but he has decided to take less challenging math courses so he can fit in his dance electives.

With that small interaction, Jisung feels a little lighter as he watches you exit the store. He’s glad to know more about you, to be one step closer to making a new friend. This is kind of a big deal for him. He really isn’t the most extroverted person, but he’s not a recluse. He’s in that weird gray area where if he knows a person, he can hold a conversation, but there are times when his brain forgets how to get to know a person in the first place. It’s at times like these when he feels the greatest envy towards his friends, Donghyuck and Chenle, who could talk Thanos out of killing half the universe if they really tried. However, he’s also grateful to them because who else will defend him when Renjun comes at him for literally breathing?

Jisung is now more aware of you at school. He sees you in the hallways between classes and in the cafeteria during lunch. Unfortunately, he doesn’t notice you in any of his classes, but the little waves you send each other when you spot one another is enough to satiate what Jisung deems to be “on track” for a friendship.

It isn’t until the end of August that he realizes how close yet far you appear to be for him. He’s let out of class early for once and is one of the first to get their lunch and start eating when Donghyuck loudly plops his tray down across from him and states, “My lab partner is gonna sit with us at lunch from now on so we can work on this project. Hope you don’t mind, but also she’s sitting here either way so you better deal.”

Jisung shrugs his shoulders and replies with a quiet “sure” before going back to shoveling a mix of kimchi and rice into his mouth at an alarming rate. He’s caught off guard, though, when Donghyuck’s partner turns out to be you and you greet said teen by jogging up to him and throwing an arm around his shoulders after placing your tray down along with your books. You smile and say, “Hey, Jisung,” to which Jisung is slightly confused because he’s sure he’s never told you his name and he’s way too forgetful to actually remember to wear his name tag at work. You’re quick to explain that Donghyuck always blabs about him and the others during class, but he shouldn’t worry because he’s actually made out to be one of the normal ones of the bunch.

Much to Jisung’s dismay, the conversation comes to an end due to the reason you've come to their table in the first place. You flip your book open and begin perusing through the material while Donghyuck’s fingers glide across the keyboard of his laptop.

Having nothing better to do, Jisung simply straightens up and leans across the table, trying to take a peek at what his friend and now acquaintance are working on. Noticing his gaze, you slide your textbook toward him and flip it around so you can explain, “We’re starting our boat projects so Hyuck and I are trying to look for good ideas for designs and costumes and stuff. Honestly, when the teacher said we would be starting the project after break, I didn’t think she meant the first week. But like, go off, I guess.”

At this, Donghyuck releases a snort and says, “Don’t encourage it. I swear she has ears and eyes everywhere. She knows everything we’re saying. It’s creepy…”

The three of you chuckle, but not before casting a sweeping gaze across the cafeteria, looking for the aforementioned teacher. For the rest of the lunch period, Jisung and Donghyuck look on the internet for cool group costumes they can put together while you continue to take notes from your textbook. By the time you’re all getting up to go to class, you’ve narrowed the costumes down to the characters of Little Mermaid, gondoliers, or pirates. You also have a basic idea for the structure of the boat. Somehow, Jisung has found himself now apart of your boat project group even though he’s never even stepped into the physics lab before, but he’s glad and even offers for the group to meet at the convenience store so he can help after school.

When Chenle gets back from yet another family business trip—Jisung is highkey jealous that Chenle is rich enough and smart enough to afford taking multiple weeks off of school per semester, but Chenle assures him that it’s not all it’s cracked up to be—Jisung fills him in on what he’s missed. Chenle pouts when he hears how much fun Jisung has been having without him, but he’s quickly reminded that he got to spend two weeks in the Maldives so he promptly shuts up.

Before anyone realizes it, two weeks pass by in the blink of an eye and now it’s become a daily routine for you and one or two of your crew to show up at the convenience store when building the actual boat is getting too tiring or when your fellow groupmate Haknyeon declares for the thousandth time that he is starving and literally cannot cut even an inch more cardboard until he has food in his stomach. This time, however, seems to be a special occasion because the whole group is filling through the entrance one by one (or two by two if you count how Seungmin and Jisu just fought tooth and nail, squeezing through the door frame to see who could get there first).

“Hey, Jisung,” Jisu calls out with a smile, snapping Jisung out of his daydream and making him sit up straight at the counter. He offers up a meek smile and waves to everyone else as they walk in. You and Jisu immediately head to the ice cream section, grabbing several popsicle and fudge sticks each and giggling at the cold sensation against your skin.

“There’s a lot of you today,” Jisung points out, inwardly cringing when he sees Seungmin accidentally knock over a display and poorly putting it back together.

Donghyuck’s head pops out of one of the aisles as he explains, “Yup! We finally finished building so we came here to celebrate! We’re gonna hang out outside so you should come join us.”

Jisung shrugs his shoulders and once he finishes scanning all of their items, he hops off his seat and walks around the counter. He takes a seat at one of the tables outside, figuring if a customer comes in, he can step back in. The rest of the gang joins him and open all of their treats, some choosing to savor the food on this especially pleasant fall afternoon (Jisu and Seungmin) while others choose to shovel everything down their throats as quickly as possible (you, Haknyeon, and Chenle). As if on cue, you and Chenle drop your heads in your hands and groan about having a massive brain freeze. Literally every other person at the table except Haknyeon—his cheeks are stuffed with cheese puffs and when he tries to speak, several little puffs tumble out of his mouth and onto the pavement, causing him to pout and forget about the situation at hand—says ‘I told you so,’ with an indignant smirk.

The atmosphere continues in its lightheartedness and no one notices the darkening sky until the sun has almost completely dipped into the horizon. After cleaning up the mess that has been made, the teens slowly bid their goodbyes and head home. You’re one of the last ones remaining, wanting to buy some more chips to have during your study session later that night. Placing a little package of Hello Panda cookies in your basket, you’re about to tell Jisung you’re ready to pay when you realize there’s an older man, probably a college student, at the cash desk speaking angrily to your friend.

The man continues to raise his voice, practically yelling at this point, “Are you serious? I’m telling you I’m 21! Can’t you just believe me and give me my damn cigarettes?!”

Poor Jisung seems to fold back into himself in intimidation as he nervously stutters out, “S-Sorry sir, I can’t let you have them without an ID. Please c-come back next time with some form of identification.”

It’s when the man slams his fist on the counter and leans forward that you decide this has gone too far and you have to step in.

“Excuse me,” you say, putting up a facade of confidence, “I believe that camera in the corner has just recorded this whole interaction and if you don’t leave now, I won’t hesitate to report you to the police.”

The man stomps out of the store with a huff, but not before knocking down a shelf of candy. Jisung is still in a state of shock as he shakily comes around the counter and starts to pick up the candies. You bend down and start to help him as well, trying to get everything back in place, when he asks, “How do you do that? Y’know, like you were just so calm, collected, and confident?”

You let out an airy laugh as you expound, “Dude, are you kidding? I was so nervous. I totally thought he was going to turn around and punch me in the face or something. But I wasn’t just gonna let him treat one of my friends rudely, so I just did what I had to.”

Jisung can’t pinpoint why, but when he ends his shift and heads home, he has a little pep in his step. Maybe it’s because he’s glad he didn’t have to deal with another confrontational scenario. Or maybe it’s because you stood up for him without a second thought. Either way, he’s glad his day has turned out how it did and he can’t wait for tomorrow.

[acoolguyscoollife]

Chapter 1: (Non)Humble Beginnings

Cool Guy

I used to take stuff in my life way too seriously. Had one of those dramatic pasts that everyone is used to in life. But then I decided to throw all that away, grab a cool-ass moniker and just chill, so that’s pretty much where my life is now. And since you probably have gathered from the subtitle to the chapter, I’m Cool Guy. Real name doesn’t matter. Most people call me CG, so I guess that’s what you should call me too. Now I bet you’re thinking to yourself well this is a tad confusing, he knows I’m reading a book about him! And you’d be pretty much right. Well, kinda. I didn’t know as these things were happening that I’d eventually end up being in a position where writing this would make sense. So now you’re probably wondering what actually happened. What is the “cool life” this “Cool Guy” led? Well, to sum it up in a few sentences… I’d have to say that it was not much. Well, it was your average cross-dimensional, reality bending, ancient prophecy fare. With romance subplots out the ass. And if you think that’s cool, wait until we get to the time travelling lesbian couple, one from my day and one from the distant future! Best part is she may be my daughter; we’ve got no freaking idea! Life’s fun when you stop giving a shit, more people should try it. Of course, I’m getting ahead of myself slightly. I’ve already introduced myself but I should introduce the three other people who’ll be telling this story as it goes on. I should also dial back on mentioning things that from your perspective haven’t happened yet. Anyway, first off is Amy Frays. She was raised by her older brother and her slightly-less-older-but-still-older brother, the latter of which is an okay guy. Amy and I go way back, she was one of the people that knew me before my name became what it is now. She still called me CG though, since my old name also had those initials. Kinda. Sorta. It’s complicated. Anyway, moving swiftly on to my only male friend, Seth Allen. Truth be told I never actually asked about his home life because it just wasn’t the sort of thing we’d discuss. We just spoke in dated movie references and video-game lingo for a while, and it was a pretty fun time. By the time we’d gotten to the point in our friendship where we should have known about this stuff, neither of us wanted to ask because it just didn’t matter. That’s just the sort of friends we were. And finally, the weirdest of the bunch, Tabitha Williams. I only ended up meeting her because Amy introduced me, a childhood friend of hers that I’d never met. She was always busy with some kind of apprentice program where she would work under some sciencey dude. But despite all the nerd stuff she was pretty cool to hang out with. When we actually saw her. But that wasn’t often and I kinda felt as if I wasn’t as close to her as my other friends. So when this entire story started by her sending me a letter (of all things) telling me to come to this weird lab on the outskirts of the town and to bring Amy and Seth, you would understand that I was a little unsure. I mean, I didn’t even know how she found my address. But, I think I’d probably be better off switching to a different kind of narration now.

 The letter smelled faintly like parchment, and was actually sealed with wax, so even though I had no idea who it was from, I had an inkling. Tabitha was always quite eccentric with stuff, and I felt like she was going to be the one writing it. After slicing my finger slightly with the letter opener, I was able to get into the letter and open it up. Sure enough, matching the parchment and the wax seal, it was written with ink. Most likely a feather quill too, knowing her. I had to squint to actually figure out what was written, cursive not being my strong suit.

CG.

I’ve got something cool to show you. I’m at the gated-off facility by Fifth Street. Bring Amy and Seth.

Also, bring snacks.

-T. Williams

The letter was confusing, to say the least. I didn’t even know Fifth Street was a place, it sounded made up until I checked it on the map app. I also wasn’t sure why she didn’t contact Seth herself, because I felt like the two of them were pretty close. I know one time they both got shitfaced and sung the entirety of Love Is An Open Door from Frozen. I also know that afterwards Seth ended up falling out of a window, spraining his ankle and swearing off booze. And then promptly started drinking again a week later. The part about snacks made sense though, as thin as Tabitha was she ate a surprising amount of sugary foods, reminding me of a character from an anime I watched a while back. A quick group text (that I included Tabitha in as a passive-aggressive show of how easier it could have been than sending me a letter) later, I was walking with Seth and Amy to the lab. Well, no one actually called it a lab but it was kind of obvious what it was. A building a sciencey person works in is unofficially a lab even if you think otherwise, it’s just how the world works. When we arrived, the first noticeable thing was how high the gates were and yet how flimsy the material was. A simple chainlink fence that could easily be cut through, with a gate in it that had a lot more of a sturdy look. Stepping up to it, a voice popped out of an intercom with a technical thing on it that I wouldn’t be able to fathom the purpose of at all.

“Put your face to the scanner.” The voice said, quickly recognisable as Tabitha’s. I put my face to the technical thing I could only assume was the scanner, however not taking off the sunglasses I always wore. Amy and Seth attempted to put their faces next to mine, but before it could get awkward and slightly homoerotic, the gate clicked and opened up, allowing us to move into the facility’s borders. The outside of the building was mostly grey, nothing noteworthy on the outside, but the actual span of the building was surprisingly large. Concrete paths were adorned with grass, just enough to grow flowers but it was evident no one had been attending to them for a while, as they were overgrown and an eyesore. As our footsteps rhythmically echoed around the quiet outdoor area, I tried to come up with some lyrics to go along with the percussive beat we were making. Tap-Tap-Tap, Tap-Tap-Tap, each of us putting one foot down almost immediately after the other, leaving a gap in-between as we moved our other foot around. Before the words that would have been the next chart-topper came to me, Amy threw my out of my thoughts by choosing this time to ask the question that had been on everyone’s minds and should have really been asked sooner.

“Where in the hell are we?” Glancing over at her, she was craning her neck to look everywhere as we continued down the path. We still had a good ways to walk, so Seth and I had plenty of time to respond and answer her question thoroughly and to the best of our knowledge.

“Don’t know.” Seth said, mirroring what I was going to say. All we really knew is that this is where Tabitha spent a lot of her time, probably too much time. None of us had seen her in person for about eight months. A cold wind blew across the path, a stereotypical sign of worrying thoughts as we made our way forward. Pulling my jacket tighter against my body, I was thankful to see we had finally reached the alcove that bore a door into this building. As if I couldn’t feel slightly creeped out enough, the doors opened by themselves as we got close to them. Stepping inside, we were greeted by a stark white corridor, surfaces cold to the touch and bearing numerous doors that led off into other rooms.

“Just go straight ahead and make a turn down the green corridor.” Said the voice of Tabitha from above, making me think for a second that God had finally decided to award my coolness by giving me guidance.

“Turn down for what.” Amy muttered under her breath, then giggled at her own dumb joke. I considered rolling my eyes but I knew she wouldn’t be able to see it anyway because of the glasses so why bother.

 The room we ended up in was large, which was saying something considering that I’d seen so many large things since entering the lab that large stuff just seemed normal. A computer was across an entire wall, with various technical parts that I couldn’t make heads or tails of, a recurring theme since I had walked in here. Stood in front of the machine itself was Tabitha, in an outfit very different to what I was used to. Her long, brown hair, instead of being tied up in a bun like normal, was splayed across her shoulders and down her back, significantly longer than it had been the last time I had seen her. Her glasses were held together by tape, and her lab coat- a new addition to her style since I had seen her last- was torn, with burn marks and holes in it. Comparing that to my own leather jacket/jeans combo, or Amy’s light tank-top and pants, or Seth’s v-neck and cargo pants, it was both out of place and very haphazardly thrown together.

“Uh…” was all I could say, unsure of anything else to say.

“You look…” Amy continued, as speechless at her look as I was.

“Awesome!” Seth finished, quite contrary to what I was thinking, which was closer to explosion victim. He practically pounced on her and the two tightly hugged, making me feel both relief that I wasn’t the target of this over-affection and also slightly disappointed because the hug looked quite nice to be honest. As if sensing my thoughts, Amy nudged herself over slightly closer to me and jokingly offered a hug. I only wish I could have seen her face as I accepted the hug, quickly pulling away before the other two saw us because that would have been embarrassing to explain. I’m a man, damn it. I don’t do hugs. “Where have you been, anyway?” Seth asked, having pulled out of the hug with her.

“I’ve been… oh my god, so busy. So… god damn… busy.” Tabitha responded, spacing her words out for emphasis. “I have so much stuff to tell you guys but like… it’s all so complicated.” She waved her hands around to prove this, which did nothing but make me question her sanity. Seeing that no one was really acknowledging her, she pushed a button on the computer, which quickly whirred to life, flashing BIOS that I barely had time to read before opening a black screen that awaited commands. A hand beckoned us over, before she turned around and stooped over the keyboard, her fingers quickly turning into a blur as she wrote line after line of code, making me regret not paying attention when my teacher had tried to teach me C# all those years ago when I was in CompSci. A few presses of the enter key brought up GUI after GUI, as she tapped more stuff into it that I didn’t understand. Eventually the flurry of typing stopped and she stood upright, turning back around to face us. “Okay, let’s start with the basics. I haven’t had human contact in about… well, eight months, since you saw me last I guess. My mentor… well, I’ll get to that later.” Tabitha expositioned, as if she knew that one day I was going to start writing my memoirs. Or as if she knew that none of us had any idea what the hell was going on. “Since then I’ve been working on something huge, something that, if put into the right hands, will revolutionise the world. If it goes into the wrong hands… well, it’s just going to be used for random shit just for fun. However, even though you three are quite obviously the wrong hands, I need your help to do this.” Tabitha pressed a key, and a machine whirred to life, producing several person-sized tables out of the ground with VR helmet-like things built into them. “I have created a machine, that, if a person is connected to it properly, can create simulated worlds that could mirror our own in terms of scale and interactivity.” She said, puffing her chest outwards pridefully. I glanced to the other two, who were taking in this revelation just as I was. This big of a revelation, such a large scope, deserved only one response.

“Bullshit.”

[writer-k-pop]

Hospital

Description: You and your friends are out and about, having a nice relaxing day hanging out together when a driver runs a red light and clips the back of your car. You and your friends are taken to the hospital for minor injuries. Thankfully everyone walks away with only a few fractures. 

Warnings: Mentions of a crash but I won’t detail it.

BTS Masterlist

Kim Seokjin (Jin)

He’d be at home when he gets a call saying you’re in the hospital and Jin would be up and out of the house faster than one of the boys could ask “what’s wrong?”

Worry is the main emotion he feels. He didn’t think he had to worry about you going out with your friends but now he’s a worrying mess. 

He runs through the hospital and finds your room quickly. You jump when he barges through the door.

“(y/n)!!” He yells and runs to your bedside. “What happened? Are you okay? Oh my god, are you okay?” He asks in between giving you kisses. 

You smile softly and hold his cheek, “Jin, I’m fine. I fractured my wrist and have a few cuts but I’m okay. My friends are all okay too.” You tell him.

Jin breathes out a sigh of relief. “What the hell happened?” He asks, sitting down in a chair.

“Some douche bag ran a red light and hit the back of our car.” You explain, sitting up properly.

Anger fills Jin’s eyes, “That son of a.. He could’ve... I’m gonna kill him.”

You grab Jin’s hand. “Hey, hey, hey, we’re okay, the police already arrested him.” 

Jin nods in relief and puts his head on the bed. “Thank goodness you’re okay. I don’t know what I would’ve done.” You smile and stroke his hair. “But you’ll never guess what Jimin and Jungkook did today.” He says looking back up, knowing that you want your mind off what happened for a little bit.

“What did they do?” You ask with wide eyes, grateful for the distraction. 

Min Yoongi (Suga)

He arrived at the hospital to pick you up. You’re sitting at the edge of the bed, changed and ready to go when Yoongi and Namjoon walk through the door. Well more like burst through the door. 

Yoongi is immediately at your side, hugging and kissing you. 

“What happened?” He asked.

“Some dumbbo ran a red light and hit the back of our car.” You explained. “I fractured my ankle but am okay otherwise.”

“Was this dude on drugs?” Yoongi asks, slightly upset, “How do you run a red light? HOW?”

You shrug and Yonngi stands up.

“I’m going to find him and make him pay.” He says and wipes his hand under his nose.

You reach out and grab his arm, “Yoongi, the police already arrested him. He’s gone. No need to harm anyone.” You smile at how protective your boyfriend is.

“How are your friends?” He asks, holding your hand.

“They’re all okay, too.” I reassure him.

He nods, “That’s a relief. Guess I’ll be the one taking care of you huh?” 

You smile, “Yupp, which means no long nights at the Genius Lab for a little bit.”

“Psh... I never do that anyway.” He says like he never stays late.

“Okay, Yoongi, whatever.” You smile and roll your eyes. 

Kim Namjoon (RM)

He’s pacing back and forth in front of your hospital bed.

“How? Like How?” He keeps asking himself. “How??”

You shrug, “A dumb driver ran a red light?” 

“Who runs a red light? WHO?” He asks to no one in particular. “I’m gonna go find him.” Namjoon walks towards the door.

“They’ve already arrested him.” You say but he doesn’t turn around. “Who’s gonna take care of me?” You ask, and he whips around. You smile at him, “Namjoon, I know you’re upset but I will need someone to help me with everything seeing as my one leg is useless now.”

He takes a deep breath and nods. Walking back over, he mumbles, “At least he got arrested. Serves him right.”

You smile at his attitude.

“How are your friends? They all okay?” He asks sitting in the chair next to your bed.

You nod, “We all made it out okay. Minor injuries, nothing too bad.” 

Namjoon smiles and kisses your hand. “That’s good. That’s good.”

The doctor comes in and lets you know that you can be discharged from the hospital. 

“Finally.” You celebrate as Namjoon laughs and helps you change and out the door.

Jung Hoseok (J Hope)

He was practicing and didn’t hear his phone ring. Jimin walked in with a worried look and Hoseok knew something was wrong. Once Jimin told him what happened, Hoseok ran to the hospital, the feeling of guilt eating at him because he missed your call.

He ran right into your hospital room and hugged you, trying not to cry. 

“I’m sorry I missed your call.” He mumbles into your shoulder.

You hug him and rub his back. “It’s okay. You were practicing weren’t you?” 

He nodded into your shoulder. “I should’ve had the music softer or my phone louder. I’m sorry.”

You push him back to look at his face. “Hey, it’s okay, you’re here now. I’m happy you’re here now.” You smile and stroke his face.

He closes his eyes and leans into your touch. “Did you get hurt badly?” He asks, worriedly looking over your figure.

You shrug, “My arms a little messed up but I should be okay in a few weeks. We all got out with minor injuries. Nothing major.” You tell him.

He gingerly picks up your arm that’s wrapped in bandages. “I’m sorry.”

“Hoseok, it’s okay.” You reassure him.

“I promise to help you in every way possible.” Hoseok declares. “I’m going to be the best caretaker for the next few weeks.” 

You smile. “You don’t have to. I can still do a lot of stuff.”

“Nope, you’re going to rest and I’ll do everything.” He nods in defiance. 

Park Jimin

He must’ve been filming something because he walks in with a helmet, jacket and gloves on.

“(y/n), are you okay? Did you get hurt?” He rapid fire asks, not bothering to take off any of his gear.

You nod, still slightly shocked that he’s wearing a helmet. “Just have some really bad bruising but other than that I’m okay.” You explain, wincing as you sit up. 

Jimin reaches out and helps you when he sees you in pain.

“What were you doing, Jimin?” You asks glancing at his outfit.

“Ah, we were filming a BTS Run episode when I got the call.” He says, looking up at his helmet. “Although, now that I think about it, you need this more than I do.” He removes his helmet and places it on your head.

“Yah, the accident wasn’t my fault. Why do I need this?” You ask as he adjusts the straps and clips the helmet in place.

“Because you’re clumsy and always somehow get involved in accidents.” He smiles sweetly, “Never as bad as this one but still.”

You pout at him. “If I wasn’t in pain, I would come over there and smack you.” You threaten, raising a hand.

Jimin smiles and holds a peace sign. “But I promise to take care of you, if that means anything?”

You smile, “It means I won’t smack you as hard.” Which makes both of you laugh.

Kim Taehyung (V)

Taehyung walks in looking like he just woke up from a nap, which he probably did. Glasses and headband on, he looks kind of cute. If it wasn’t for the worried expression he wore on his face.

He doesn’t say anything but walks over and gives you a deep long kiss.

“I literally was so scared I lost you.” He whispers, pulling away. 

You rest your forehead against his, “But you didn’t. I’m okay.”

He nods, “What happened? Are you badly hurt? How are your friends?” 

“A driver ran a red light and hit the back of our car. We’re all okay, Bree broke her arm but she’s the worst of us. I have a fracture in my wrist but other that it’s just bruising.” You tell him as he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear.

“That’s good.” He sighs. “Did they find the driver?”

You nod. “He got arrested.”

Taehyung nods back, “Don’t worry too much, (y/n). If you need anything, I’ll be there. I’ll take care of everything so you can rest and get better.”

“Will we still be able to do the thing tomorrow night?” You ask, worried about your plans.

“If you’re up for it, of course. But we don’t have to. The boys will understand.” Taehyung says caringly.

You nod and lean on his chest while he wraps his arms around you. “You’re gonna be okay.” He whispers before kissing the top of your head.

Jeon Jungkook

Jungkook shows up with Jimin and Hoseok as they were together when he got your call. 

He sits next to your bed, gripping onto your hand while you explain the others what happened. He doesn’t really know how to comprehend his feelings. He’s worried and mad at the other driver and relieved that you’re alive. 

He continues to look from you to your bandaged ankle to his hyungs. 

“But you’re really okay?” He finally asks.

You nod to him and smile. “I’m okay. Doctor says that I should be back to normal in a few weeks.”

“What about your friends?” Jungkook continues.

“They’re all okay. Some fractures and cuts but we’ll be able to recover fully from the injuries.” You tell him.

“Oh thank goodness.” He sighs in relief. “Do I want to know about the other driver?” He asks.

You shake you head, slightly laughing. “The police arrested him already. No need to waste energy on him.”

“But I will waste energy on helping you get better.” He smiles, kissing your hand. “I’ll cook, and clean, and and...”

Jimin, Hoseok, and I all laugh as his cuteness. 

“I love you Jungkook.” You tell him. “But I’m still cooking.”

[jaeminlore]

frankenstein!johnny

okay so johnny was created in a lab obv

and he's got this mint green skin, stitches around each joint, and these two bolts sticking out of his neck for overnight charging (like he gets these jumper cables over the bolts and he gets really electric and zappy while he sleeps everyone stays 2596543 feet away from him

he also had this really cool USB port in his belly button right,,, like he can but a cord in it and hook himself up to an outlet for quick charge,,,

the scientist who created him put a lot of effort into him

he programmed him to have the brain of a 23 year old, which would grow as he did

it was a new technology the scientist had created that would help johnny create his own feelings and emotions and wants and needs

basically, because of this, johnny wants to be free

he wants to get out of the lab and see the world. he wants to see everything the world has to offer

he wants to taste things and see things and touch things

he's so excited and curious

like he has this innocence in his eyes that's so bright and friendly

and this spirit no one can tarnish

in the monct universe, humans and monsters coexist together

but there is still a lot of prejudice

like humans can be rlly mean to the monsters and so johnny's scientist (dad..?) is afraid that johnny's light might be diminished

so he agrees that johnny can leave the lab on one condition:

that he would live with a group of monster boys who are already used to living in the human world; a group of friends he can come back to if the world gets too harsh

so johnny moves in w monct,,, and his closest friends are probably invisible man!ten and ghost!jaehyun

except ten sometimes get on his nerves bc every time johnny comes out of his bedroom he'll screams "it's alive!!"

and johnny would smack him but ten is invisible so he can never find him yknow

anyway it's around halloween right and johnny sees these flyers all over the neighborhood announcing this huge halloween party for the college down the road,,, and it's called the monster mash

and johnny is like !!!! this so the perfect way to meet a bunch of new monsters and humans !!!!

it's even called monster mash so he must be allowed!!!

and he doesn't even have to dress up like he already looks like the classic frankenstein w his green skin and stitches and bolts like it's perfect!

so even tho vampire!taeil told him it probably wasn't a good idea, johnny ignored him and gets his clumsy green butt out to the party

it's at this giant frat house,, it's smaller than monct's house tho johnny is used to living in a gothic mansion and this is just a ... two story house

but he's never seen a second story house before!!! so he bounds up the steps ready to go to his first party

and he's really confused when everyone is telling him how nice his costume is and there are all these random are coming up and pulling at his stitches

,,, and it hurts,,,

so johnny kind of pushes everyone who comes near him away until he gets to the kitchen and he's suddenly looking for an outlet for a quick recharge bc nervousness takes up battery right

but someone beats him to it and shoves their phone charger in

and it's you, who came dressed as the bride of frankstein

but you're bored and your phone died after playing dumb ways to die for two hours so you decide to charge your phone and download a racing game lol

and that kitchen outlet is the only one open so you're like "sorry dude but i gotta charge my phone"

and johnny just stares at you and ,,,, are you a disembodied body too??

you like legit don't know what that means so you look down at your white dress and the green paint job that took far too long to do and stained your underwear.... "yes. that's me! i haven't found another frakenstein! how'd you get your bolts to look so realistic??"

he taps his bolts w his industrial fingernail like they are real!!!

and you don't quite get what he's saying bc tbh you've never rlly met a monster before

johnny doesn't know this but monsters and humans tend to not hang out around each other too much

for instance, they don't go to human parties unless specifically invited ,,,, the comradery isn't great in this town

so you're like wow!!! real bolts!!! how did you get them on your neck?? did you glue them??

and johnny furrows his eyebrows like lol why is this other disembody acting like she doesn't know how her own body works??

"what do you mean? they're real ... like they're actually in my neck. they're where I plug in my battery."

and you just stop like oh

oh

it takes him awhile to figure out that you aren't rlly a monster: he checks your costume w his perfect vision and can see that your green makeup is smeared with sweat, mixing in w your actual skin tone, and that your bolts are just tin foil taped to your neck

"i ... i've got to go"

and just like that he leaves.

you feel bad like just because he's a monster doesn't mean the two of you can't get along?? he seemed super sweet and didn't even yell at you for stealing his outlet???

lowkey you want to learn more abt this dude lol

but he's gone without a goodbye, and you have no idea where to find him

GOOD THING FATE INTERVENED

so you head to the auto part store bc your car needs new brake pads,,,,, so you're there to get brake pads obv

and as you're walking down the store, scanning each aisle looking for the one you need to go down

you see this v v tall dude in a hat, sunglasses, and scarf combination

it's the boy from the party, you can tell, so you walk over to him. "do you need any help?"

"yeah, actually, which —" he stops talking when he sees you and suddenly customer!johnny is now flustered!johnny like if his cheeks had been programmed to blush,,,,, he would be blushing

mostly bc he didn't think you could look any cuter than you did at the party,,,,, but you do!!

he takes off his sunglasses and gets super flustered like "h-hi, again."

and your hand is already out for a shake. "my name is y/n."

johnny stares at your hand "okay? what are you doing?"

he sort of lacks the understanding for a lot of basic gestures and stuff

but that's okay bc you just take his hand and give the limp appendage a shake

and suddenly your entire body feels extremely tingly and your hair stands up on end

"sorry!" johnny is retracting his hand and backing up, nearly running into a tire display in the process "taeil told me a wool scarf was a bad idea for my bolts."

you giggle "you're really cute. what's your name?"

"i'm johnny"

"well, johnny, there's this really cool ice cream place down the road. do you wanna go with me?"

johnny furrows his eyebrows for a moment, "is this a date?"

"sure"

"oh, well i've never had ice cream."

"really?"

it turns out johnny hasn't experienced a lot of basic things in life, since he technically just a few months old

... good thing he'll have you to help him!!!

once y'all are dating he doesn't even hold back weird questions he just let's em go

he wonders a lot abt the human body and how it functions

like the first time you cried in front of him it was bc of a sad movie + period combo

and johnny is like i've never seen real live tears before what do i do what do i do

you basically have to calm him down like it's okay johnny,,, it's just my period,,,, now come cuddle me

he oblidges obv but he won't stop asking abt your period like he's curious okay

and his bolts make little buzzing noises from time to time

witch!mark made a charmed cover for them so you wouldn't get shocked every time the two of you hugged or cuddled

"y/n?"

"what?"

"i think i love you."

you understand his words,,, why he only said think,,, bc it's an emotion he's only known in theory so far. and the fact that he confessed something so sweet and honest to you made you sure of your next words

"i think i love you too, johnny."

this is part of a collab w @trickortaeil for monster!nct this october. the next installment will be on her blog, with taeyong! also i highkey based johnny off of frankie from the monster high books. please enjoy!

[originaldetectivesheep]

A Life of Riley Part 1 - The Problem With Grinckles ch 6

Chapter 5

VI

I leaned back and hit Send; the formatting on my Differential Equations homework had finally turned out all correct the third time I'd printed it, so I could send the PDF over to my professor and be done for the day.  Two hours of math and then another two and a half hours beating LaTeX with a rock to do up all the formulas so they looked like something, but I was done all my math for the weekend before five on Saturday. I was golden; plenty of time to eat dinner, see what was good on my groups, then hit up someone's party or go down to the bars on Sperry Street and try to hook up.  I still had a couple microwaves problems that needed tightening up, but I could handle those tomorrow; tonight was tonight, and tonight was all mine.

As I logged out of the lab terminal and stood up, I saw Sajitha waving at me through the glass out in the corridor.  I waved back, unconcerned, but she was still there in the same place after I made my way out, dropping the test prints into the recycling bucket.  "Hey, Saj," I said by way of trying to figure out what was going on, "what's up? Are you looking for me for something?"

She shook her head, still falling in next to me as I walked down the hall.  "Kind of," she said, "but not really.  Are you going over to the lab?"

I shook my head. "No, I don't have anything to do over there tonight.  I was just going to go grab dinner, probably at the Zussman caf, and see where it was going off tonight.  You?"

"The caf? Under Zussman?  Are you into the shredded green-bean sludge they put on everything or something?  Don't you live like just the other side of the parking lot behind the ChemE lab barn?  Why the caf when it's that close to go home?  Did you just forget to buy food or something?"

"No, I am kinda running low," I said, "but you don't have to eat the green-bean casserole slurry they give you if you don't want to, and actually mostly I'm trying to avoid this chick Laura from the complex; if I go home and do some ramen she'll be sniffing around to 'pregame' with her friends, and then we'll end up getting blasted and hook up while they go out.  Normally I wouldn't mind, but I'm feeling good and I actually want to do something tonight, not just get drunk watching TV and have bad vodka sex.  I mean, it's been a good day, and I got a feeling it's going to be a good night – how about I bag the caf, and we go down and tear it up at the Scottsdale till we score or get kicked out?"

"I want to go out," she said, stepping up right in next to me, "but I have something that I have to finish drawing out for Riley – some kind of stupid STOVL wing part – and I was hoping that you were going that way so I could ask you to walk me across the quad; there's some weird protest there tonight and I've been hearing bad things about it."

"Some kind of wack protest?" I said, turning to look her over critically.  "Bad shit?  What the hell is it?  The Black Bloc? Frog nazis?  And you want me to walk you over?  Saj, you'd be beating them up for me. Why not text Remy?"

Sajitha rolled her eyes and sighed a mighty sigh.  "First, Remy has a meet against Tech this weekend, so he's in Grabau Green getting kicked in the face.  And second, even if he was around, I wouldn't want to encourage him."  I wisely refrained from commenting about how she knew a hell of a lot about his schedule, for a dude that she didn't want to encourage interest in.  "And I know I can take care of myself; it's just for insurance.  I don't think it's frog nazis, but if it is, I want to just go to the lab, and not to jail because I shoved some CompEng incel weeaboo's tiki torch so far up his ass it knocked his teeth out.  They won't start if I'm not alone."

I nodded.  "Okay, okay.  I get you, and it's not that far out of the way.  No problem." I stuck my hands in my pockets, maybe unconsciously imitating Remy's fighter's strut.  "And if there's really a protest that's going to turn bad, I'm kind of curious about it – I don't think I've ever seen a riot in real life."

Sajitha shuddered.  "Yeah, that's a good thing.  You really don't want to, trust me.  But this one, it's probably not going to be a real riot, people throwing bricks at the cops shooting rubber bullets and stuff.  It's not that kind of protest – not political, no counterprotest at least that I've heard about, just talk that it would get taken over for a prank."  I could tell she was shaken up about the possibility of a riot, because she didn't even glare at me as I held the door open ahead of her.

"A prank?" I asked.  "Who the hell takes over a protest as a prank?  What the heck kind of protest even lets itself in for something like that?  Are you sure you're getting accurate information?"

Sajitha took a deep breath as we left the library path onto the main road over towards the engineering quad.  "A protest put up by amateurs who don't know how to read people who pretend to offer help. Listen, I haven't told a lot of people about this, but back freshman year I rushed one of the desi sororities for like thirty seconds, just so that I could show my parents that it wasn't ever going to happen, and I still talk to a couple of the girls who did make it in. Someone working in the admin office like Tuesday saw an application for a protest from some Anti-Grinckle Askari thing that didn't exist two weeks ago, Comic Sans and formal, non-native English, and they approved it as a joke – and told their frat buddies, who told all their other frat buddies, and now it's like all around the frats that they're going to show up and take over this protest, and with everyone drunk off their ass after that football game, if it even happens it's not going to go well.  It's probably not going to go Nazi, but how do you even tell these days – and I spend too much time around the AP lab to not just keep thinking about how much worse things could get than my worst-case scenario."

I was thinking.  "Grinckles again – and askari, that's Swahili, for like 'soldier' or 'army'.  He might have gotten other people to help him, but this smells like Wilson; he told us he was going to get rid of the grinckles his way, and that we should stay out of the way, but if he's getting taken for a ride by a bunch of frat bros, I'd want to get him out of there, get him back to his senses before he gets blamed for their shit and expelled or something.  Those white-cap wastoids can just have Daddy write another full-freight check to Tech or some other school if they get kicked out, but if Wilson loses his scholarship here, that's the end: no degree, no medical boards, and he has to go back to his village and, no lie no racism, live in a house made out of mud and sticks.  Seriously; I've seen his pictures from home. We haven't spoken since that thing two weeks ago, but no way I'm going to let that happen to him."

Sajitha nodded, sticking close as we came up on the quad.  "I know.  I hope it's not – but if it is, then I guess we've got to; do you think I should maybe ping Riley and see if we can't get the rest of the lab to help?"

I turned in place; there was the start of a crowd ahead – thank god no tiki torches, and the haircuts weren't quite shitty enough for a high Nazi turnout – and I had to get this straightened out before we got any closer, up where more people might hear us.  "Not now – not right now and not except as a last resort, if everything goes completely to shit and we can't do anything.  You call for help from the lab, and Riley's going to roll up here with that cannon again, and half the dislocator rigged up as an area-denial energy weapon, and things are just going to get worse.  If we can just put a bag over Wilson's head and kick a couple bros in the stomach and get away like that, we'll do it that way, the easy and sane way, and not make this dumb rally a case for the FBI."  Sajitha nodded her agreement, and I turned back, to start leading us through the crowd of white dudes in khakis and polo shirts towards where we'd be able to do something for Wilson if he was mixed up in this.

There sure did seem to be a lot of white people here, a lot more than you got around the engineering quad generally, or at any protest that wasn't going to start heiling at you.  And while they still didn't look like Nazis, they didn't smell like the safe kind of white protestors; alcohol and meathead body spray, not patchouli oil and weed.  This was a "protest" of mostly frat bros, drunk up to their eyeballs, in it for the lulz – and you had to be real dumb to give Wilson more than a snowball's chance in this kind of crowd, especially if the cops flipped out and shit got real. There was some kind of stage set up on the steps of Dittmarsch Hall, some kind of PA set up there, and I sidled through towards it, trying to make out what was going on and also not knock over anyone's beer and start a riot before we could figure out what the hell was supposed to be happening.

There was a scree and a hiss and a squelch from the speakers up front; some idiot not knowing how to microphone, and then the confirmation for everyone who hadn't done A/V crap in high school:  "Yo dudes, y'all ready to get LIT? Are you ready to fight tha power?  Ready or not, comin' straight atcha – himself, the generalissimo, El commandante, HNIC of the AGA – come on and give it up!  Stand up, set up, get up for the Fearless – uuuurp – Leader, Eddy Wannafunzi!"  I could see the speaker gesturing now, gesturing at someone over at the side of the steps who probably was justifiably nervous about following that brain-dead, peripherally racist attempt at a hype intro.  "Get up!  Get up!  Make some noise!  Fuck the cops!"  The bros around us burst out cheering and wooting, and whoever it was hanging about getting introduced up front decided that was good enough and started to come out, the streetlights glinting off a galaxy of medals on a crazy costume-shop uniform with the brushes on the shoulders, a peaked cap so high it looked like it had been cut right out of a political cartoon.

"Good," Sajitha murmured, pressed into my back.  "It's not Wilson up there – it's not him; it's another name and there's no way he'd lose all his self-respect and go outside in a uniform like that.  Can we go now?  This rally's going to get real stupid if that's how it starts, and someone's going to get hurt."

"No," I said, craning around to see past some idiot in a white baseball hat from a pro lacrosse team, "no, that's definitely Wilson.  The name is super fake and I don't know where he got the uniform from, but that's definitely his glasses.  Go ahead and text Riley – this is about to officially get so bad that the Applied Physics lab can't make it worse."  As if on cue, a megaphone crackled to life, and Wilson's voice gruddered out over the assembled throng – crumpled up and distorted and maybe he was trying to put on a different accent, but Wilson always and all the same.

"Comrades!" he shouted, "Comrades – comrades one and all!  We are the same – we want the same thing!  We will stop the invasion – we will stop the violation against nature!  We will act – we will act united – we will act united right now!  We will kill them – we will kill all of them – we will kill all the red fish!  We can't stop – we can't even leave one alive.  Now!  Up!  Commit yourselves!  Swear it!  Hate!  Hate!  Kill!"

"Man, it's a good thing he's got his fist closed, holding it up like that, or I'd think we were really in bizarro world," I said, shoving some drunk bro out of the way so Sajitha could nudge past.  "I give it about fifteen seconds until someone yells a racial slur and the police come in with clubs – no idea how he's still talking up there."  The crowd was roiling around us, yelling incoherently at the challenge lines, occasionally making sense, but a bad kind of sense: "Yeah!  Kill!  Fuck!  Get'em!  Fuck the cops!  Revenge!" Wilson was talking about grinckles up on the stage, in a way that would whip up his audience before they realized that he was talking about fish, but down here, nobody was hearing anything about fish at all.

"Yeah! Hell yeah!  That's it!  Fight the power!"  The hype man, whoever he was, was back, and Wilson was looking confused that he was getting upstaged, that his anti-grinckle rally was getting co-opted into an anti-something else rally.  "You heard the man – you heard the man – we got to get'em – we got to get the reds!  The fish are the end of the wedge – the fish are the tip of the iceberg; you know what we need to do.  We got to get all the ching chong fish, get all the ching chong cops, get all of them, we show them who's boss!  Fight the power!  Fuck the cops!  Get the chingchongs!"  I almost stopped for a moment as the crowd exploded – the cops must be charging from some side or another, the explicit race riot incitement the last straw – trying to figure out just how and why in the hell this had suddenly turned into a riot against Asians, and then Sajitha shoved me forward.

"RIOT!!!" someone bellowed too close, and the crowd turned into a moshpit, and I was getting rammed forward like the prow of an icebreaker, Sajitha's shoulder in my back.  Dudes were punching other dudes, going flying past and above and around us, randoms screaming, and it was all I could do to defend myself.  "I hope you like your riot now," she said, still shoving, "because this is going to feel like makeouts from a starstuck freshman next to what's going to happen in a moment.  Please, help shove, so we can get to your stupid, stupid friend before they open up with tear gas."  "GAS GAS GAS!" someone screamed, either because they heard her wrong or because someone had actually gotten a whiff of pepper spray, and the riot turned into a stampede.

With more of the bros running and fewer of them fighting us, it got easier to push forward, enough to get close enough to see Wilson arguing with his hype man – close enough to see him catch a slap on the ear that unbalanced him and pitched him a nasty fall down the stairs.  I forgot Sajitha, forgot the butthole who'd just punched him in the head, and dove over to make sure he was all right – still breathing, no blood like a fracture, but his eyes were rolled back like he was concussed.  "Wilson!  Wilson!  Say something!"

"Mic DROOOOOP!" yelled the hype man from a few steps up, following it up by dropping the hot mic into a scrultching cacophony of electronic noise as it bashed itself off the steps towards me.  "You got tha powaaa!  You got to get up! You got to kill all tha dam ching-chong!"  The shithead was wearing Wilson's idiot cap and doing an accent that was probably trying to be Nigerian based on a racist comedian who'd only ever heard it second-hand, and was the shit goddamn last absolute thing we needed.  He lowered the megaphone, wavering as he looked us over, staring up and down Sajitha's figure; "Hey, baby," he said, super-obviously drunk, "what up?  You wanna slammalama-ding-dong?"  He swung his hips and leered, oblivious to the full-scale riot raging around us.

"Oh yeah," Sajitha said, slipping her right hand into her handbag, "I definitely wanna smash." She took a step forward, wiggling her shoulders to distract him, and then punched him so hard with the brass knuckles around her right fist that I saw a shower of teeth and maybe jawbone chips go flying the other way.  The hype man went down in a heap, and there was no sign of anyone stupid or brave or interested enough to avenge him anywhere close.

"How is he?"  Sajitha dropped down beside me as I tried to cradle Wilson's head, keep his feet elevated, so that at least he wouldn't get any worse and it would be obvious, if the cops broke through here, that he was a victim and not a perp.

"He's hurt bad," I said, "he went down the stairs bad and I guess he hit his head – I dunno if he's conscious yet.  Where's the help? Where's the lab?  Shit, I'd be glad to see them roll up with that goddamned cannon again, things are so bad."

"Riley's sending Carolína to get us with the truck," Sajitha answered, ripping the more obvious medals off Wilson's uniform in case someone had made him as an Idi Amin cosplayer.  "I didn't hear anything about a cannon, but you never know." Behind us, there was a squeal of tires, the roar of an engine, and then the shouts and screams of a bunch of panicked frat bros as Carolína's beat-up black Bronco skidded sideways through them to come to a stop at the foot of the stairs.  I didn't think you even could drift a Ford Bronco – that must have been something that they worked on when they put the engine back on its mounts after the cannon thing.

The passenger door popped open as if from a kick, but it wasn't Carolína hunched up so she could barely see over the wheel in the driver's seat – that was Yuping's black brush, tall and rigid way up near the roof.  The plan had changed since Sajitha got her text, obviously, but he was still a friend and we had to get while the getting was good.  I threw Wilson's arm over my shoulders to carry him over to the truck, and Sajitha rushed ahead to open the rear door and get us all bundled in.

The crowd was starting to close up around us by the time she closed the passenger door behind her and Yuping put the Bronco in gear again – a few of them maybe noticing that he was one of the ones they were supposed to hate.  "So what happened?  Is Carolína okay?"  Sajitha didn't look that concerned, but if the plan was changed now, there might be other changes later.

"She okay," Yuping said, "Riley just change driver last minute. 'Colombian learn drive too nice,' Riley say, 'because consequences. But Chinese don't take prisoner.'"  Yuping set the shifter, left hand holding the wheel in hard, then stomped on the gas, scattering frat bros like leaves before the whirlwind.  It wasn't strictly accurate – Yuping hadn't been one of those princelings immune to the laws back in China, but then again I was pretty sure that Colombians didn't actually settle every traffic argument with gunplay either – but if it got him to move like this it was good enough.  Protestors and cops alike jumped out of our way as he gunned the engine, accelerating over the footpaths to go and find a road; if he was going to drive like this, we didn't need the autocannon to get away.

Yuping parked by the loading dock behind the building that housed the AP lab after a bunch of twists and turns and ducks to make sure we'd shed all the cops, and I handed off Wilson's incriminating uniform jacket to Sajitha to throw in a dumpster while Yuping and I carried him up the stairs.  Up in the lab, Carolína had hugs and ajiaco and aguardiente for everyone and enough cardboard and spare cushions on the floor to let Wilson rest easy; Riley, by contrast, was completely occupied torch-cutting something and barely looked up as we came in.

"I don't get it, though," I said, after we'd gotten him comfortable; Wilson was stirring a little, but  it was better to let him come back to himself on his own terms, with as much chicken-potato stew and sugarcane whiskey as that would involve.  "I mean, what the shit?  Who the hell is mad about Asians in this day and age?  I mean, shit, 'ching-chong', who even says that?"

"It was kind of a bad day for them, you know," Carolína said, like she was taking part in a different conversation.  "If they didn't have Roosevelt Kang in their fantasy, it was very bad – he went off, he threw four touchdowns and ran in a fifth on a naked bootleg very late, like he was rubbing it in."

I blinked, because I wasn't sure what Wisconsin's half-Korean quarterback had to do with anything.  "Okay, yeah, that's a good day for Kang, and if the dude you were playing started him, then yeah, you got killed, but there was a lot of bros there – they couldn't all have been playing against him this week."  Sajitha and Carolína and Yuping all stared at me after that, and even Riley turned around, torch laid aside.

"Leo, we played Wisconsin today," Sajitha said at last, slowly like she couldn't believe someone was this dumb.  "At home.  We lost 45-nothing.  Roosevelt Kang squatted down and teabagged the entire campus, or at least all the people who care too much about football. Do you get it now?"  I started to get it – angry drunks who'd just gotten humiliated in their own stadium; white people, mostly, who'd seen some Asian-looking dude go yard on them at football.  It was easier to understand, but that didn't make the riot any less stupid.

"All right," I said, "I kind of get it – I can understand it, but I can't excuse it.  And shit, Wilson, what were you thinking?  I can't excuse that, getting up in front of a bunch of drunk, short-fuse white people and talking like that.  You hang around with me too much, man – you forget how like nearly all the other white people around here are."  I felt kind bad about rolling it downhill onto Wilson, blinking on the cushion pile with Carolína holding a bag of peas to the lump on his head, but he was conscious again and it really did go down to him: he didn't have to have this rally, but he did it, and one way or another everything went from there.

"I had to," he said, his voice soft and rounded at the edges, like he was half-dreaming, half-there.  "I had to – if you don't get them screaming, they just sit and scratch.  And I have to get them screaming – you didn't see, I didn't send you profile after it finished.  This 'grinckle', this thing – didn't it come from here?  This lab? The genetics is all wrong – it's all wrong backwards, it's so wrong that if I took a different course last semester, more genetic cladistics, I maybe might say it's not a fish.  What the hell?  Who makes a fish that's not a fish, then puts it on campus to walk by crutches pond to pond?  Nobody – but when it happens – only Applied Physics."

"Wilson, I – yeah, I kind of get where you're coming from.  But – why? What the hell's that supposed to get anybody?"

He shook his head, wincing from the bruise.  "I don't know.  I don't think, maybe, I can ever find out.  But there's no why – nobody else can, so when it happens, it's Applied Physics must have."

"I appreciate the vote of confidence," Riley said from the corner, "but just so you know, the grinckles aren't our fish.  I've got my hands full with enough crap as it is – we're not gene-printing random new fish to get Yuping more likes.  Speaking of," – and Riley changed the subject, exactly like Riley always changed the subject, and like always this was a change for the worse that we'd all have been better off if it didn't have to happen – "Leo, don't you live in Muttonbird Terraces?"

I blinked again, afraid of what was about to come next.  "Yes. Yeah, I do.  Why?"

"You're trending local."  I immediately grabbed up my phone and punched in on the tag; everyone around me was doing the same.  Lol fire at Muttonbird – lol fratboys burning down Muttonbird – i'm live right now yall gotta see this cops shooting at houses on fire at Muttonbird – lol Muttonbird such poors many molotov.  I slumped forward.  Perfect.  The idiot frats had gotten run off the eng quad and now they were burning down my home development and fighting the cops in the ruins.  The phone buzzed, and someone was livestreaming: a cop car was rolled over, on fire against a backdrop of low-rises on fire, white-hatted assholes jumping around, shaking up and throwing beer cans like grenades, as my entire neighborhood went up in smoke.  I looked up, and I had become the lab's pity sink; even Wilson, a glass of aguardiente under his nose to sniff himself awake, was looking at me like I was a street dog begging for pats.

"Well, yeah, you're not going to be able to go home for a while after that – if there's even anywhere to go back to."  Riley cut to the chase like usual, standing up, hands on hips.  "But you're a friend of the lab, and there's always a place here for you, same as for your friend if he wants to hide out here till the heat goes down.  Sit tight for a second; I'll send Yuping out to go grab some extra cardboard, and I'll kick clear a place under the lathe in a minute or two."   Riley nodded approvingly at me, and nobody else in the lab thought there was anything wrong with it.  Excellent.  What an awesome Saturday night.  I'd made some mistakes today, but this was the dead-ass all end: a nice promising weekend with the homework all done turning into one of my best friends mauled in a riot, my place burned down, and me ending up living sleeping on the floor in the friggin Applied Physics lab was all anyone ought to need to convince themselves that no matter how bad they thought their worst-case scenario was, it could always get worse.  A lot worse.  A whole lot worse, if Riley and this crazy lab somehow happened to get involved.

back to the top, to continue to part 2

[patchworktail]

ITS 4:30 AM AND I DONT FEEL LIKE SLEEPING so I’m gonna do this meme that i got tagged for twiCE and totally forgot to do til now!!!! (i had 2 dig through your blogs to find them omg)

ANYWAY i was tagged by both @mooitstimdrake​ and @cynessie​ (I MISS U BOTH BTW ❤)

RULES: Share 11 facts about yourself, answer 11 questions provided by the tagger, tag 11 awesome people and leave 11 questions for them to answer!

(I’m gonna skip tagging people/asking 11 questions - 1) because I’m lazy 2) because a lot of people who I would tag either have already been tagged or woN’T DO IT and 3) I have to answer two sets of 11 questions anyway so I’ll let one of those sets take the place of my 11 questions!!)

11 Facts

I was supposed to leave to move into my college 3 days ago but since my college is in Savannah they pushed off move-in/orientation for a weEK BECAUSE OF HURRICANE IRMA AND I’M STILL UPSET/DISAPPOINTED

That being said I’m about to start as a college freshman at art school, planning on majoring in animation! :D

I binged all of Buzzfeed Unsolved in like 2 days and I fuckin LOVE IT

Also BNHA is like my current main obsession???? I fell in love w that anime and uhhhh I’d Die For My Kids

I almost never use skype anymore - I’m always on Discord now (mutuals may add me just message me if you want my tag :3c)

I loooove creating OCs and my main OC is a forest elf named Rally and he’s precious and I LOVE HIM AND COULD TALK ABOUT HIM FOR HOURS (also my best friend @/harpxer and I have a huge ongoing rp with him and her mountain elf oc, Kahl!! they’re really gay)

Hmmm fun fact I guess I’ve been involved with internet communities since I was 10 years old and I made my very first internet friend when I was 10 and we’re still great friends and talk p much every day to this day (hi @/fiishr)

I want a tattoo super bad but idk what I’d geT

I worked at a jewelry engraving stand at an amusement park this summer and one night I accidentally gave myself a 1st degree burn on my finger from the hot glue gun and it hurt So Bad

I had my graduation party this July and it was really fun but the best part was when 14 of us played this giant game of spoons and it got really intense, made worse by people randomly screaming during it, and then we collectively decided to blast hardcore rap music from the speakers and Let Me Tell You i have not been involved in a more stressful card game in my LIFE

I’ll always always always fall for the hero/happy character/protagonist basically....idk what it is about me but I’m so Predictable...I love cute optimistic brave characters who just wanna do Right.....I don’t cARE IF PEOPLE THINK THEY’RE BORING I THINK THEY’RE PERFECT AND AMAZIGN AND I LOVE THEM

AS FOR AN EXTRA 12TH FACT ABOUT ME AS U CAN SEE I WRITE WAY TOO MUCH AND ALSO I’M THE BIGGEST OVERSHARER E V E R IT’S SO BAD SOMEONE STOP ME

ANYWAY ONTO THE QUESTIONS :3c

@mooitstimdrake​‘s Questions:

If you were to make a new blog dedicated to one single thing (fandom, hobby/activity, etc) what would it be? Honestly, right at the moment probably BNHA!!!! it’s legit my most recent big obsession and I love it?? so much???

If you could have any kind of animal as a pet, what would you have? A RACCOON!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THEM SOSOSOSOSOS MUCH and some people actually do have them as pets! They can be difficult though but WORTH IT

Who was your favorite teacher and why were they your favorite? OH BOY......I’m gonna say it’s a tie between my AP studio art teacher and my AP US government teacher from this past year, my senior year! My AP art teacher because our class was super tiny, 12 kids, and it really felt like a family?? She was a-okay with letting us all goof around and say weird shit, she was really chill and funny and like. part teacher, part friend, which was always nice. As for my AP gov teacher, he was SO. FUCKING. FUNNY. OH MAN. NOT EVEN ON PURPOSE he just like? put up with SO MUCH? we had some real character kids in that class and my teacher’s reactions were HILARIOUS. he had a sarcastic streak too so his responses were equally as funny when someone did something weird. He would say the funniest stuff just ask @/harpxer I would tell her so many stories from that class sohboshrb. Aside from the humor that class was really interesting, and he’s a really good, invested teacher - he wanted us to learn, he’s super passionate about government and history, and he always started off each class with 2 current events which was really nice and helped me learn more about things happening in the world too!!! overall that was like my fav non-art class I’ve ever taken!!!!

What’s your guilty pleasure (and I’m challenging you not to say some kind of food)? HMMMMM. Honestly I’m gonna go ahead and say really cheesy or lame movies/shows (like, Disney channel movies, dumb shows - like the one summer I watched all of Glee LOL, stuff like that). Like yeah I know 90% of it is terRIBLE but it’s still amusing/lighthearted stuff that makes me happy KLSDJVLSDHB

Favorite pizza topping? EXTRA CHEESE IF THAT COUNTS, if not then pepperoni!!

What’s the last thing you bought (that wasn’t food)? I’ve actually been buying a lot the past few weeks in prep for college/spending a little money for ONCE since I worked all summer. I got a bunch of boring stuff but the things I’m most excited about are: two posters I got for my dorm (The Office is one and one is Lord Huron), a giant wall tapestry (it’s Up themed!!!), tWO BNHA/POKEMON CHARMS THAT CAME TODAY AND EVERY TIME I LOOK AT THEM I START CRYING BC THEYRE SO CUTE, and oh my GOD I BOUGHT THIS GIANT PILLOW FROM TARGET AND IT IS THE SINGLE SOFTEST THING I’VE EVER FELT AND IT’S HUGE AND IT IMMEDIATELY BECAME MY #1 COMFORT OBJECT AND TOP FIVE FAV THINGS IVE EVER BOUGHT!!!!!! I guess MOST recently though I just bought Clip Studio Paint online today (art program) since it’s on sale for 50% off and I’ve heard great things about it!

What upcoming movies/tv shows are you looking forward to? UHHHHH as for movies... justice league part 1, the incredibles 2, kingsman 2, the neW POKEMON MOVIE I CHOOSE YOU, probably a lot more I can’t remember rn. AS FOR SHOWS HMMM I’m...excited for the next season of the good place and izombie, and oh I’m excited for the punisher netflix show!! and the next season of voltron of COURSE!!! and next season of stranger things!! probably more I’m forgetting too tbh

Any recommendations (this could be anything just throw your best pitch at me)? JFISDJKLBJ I DON’T KNOW OMG tbh rachel you watch a lot of the same things I do already LMAOOO

What’s your favorite thing to wear that you own? OH FUCK I DUNNO HMMM I really like wearing my various leggings and scarves, but as like a Single Item....I like wearing....uhhhh I have this giANT sweater like it’s WAY too big for me but it’s so COMFY and I love it. I also love wearing my Star Labs sweatshirt bc it’s soft and comfortable

What was your first pet? my cat!!! we took her in as a stray kitten living in our backyard when I was like. 2 or 3 and so we’ve basically had her my whole life!!

If you could learn any language, what would it be? UHHHHHH honestly probably spanish - I took it 4 straight years and was okay at it in class but one year went by with me not taking it and I forgot everything LOOOL I’m...bad....at languages....

@cynessie‘s Questions:

Where is the coolest place you’ve ever been? I haven’t been many cool places :( I guess the coolest isssss I dunno it depends? Lake George is where I go on vacation every year, I LOVE NYC, I love Savannah too and it’s where I’m gonna be for college so?? ?? ?  ? I’VE NEVER BEEN OUT OF THE COUNTRY AND I’M SAD BUT I’M POOR AND CAN’T AFFORD IT

What was the first thing you remember wanting to be when you grew up? veterinarian!! 

Look to your right. What do you see? a dirty plate on my desk, my bed just past that, and my CHARMS THAT CAME TODAY THAT ARE SO CUTE I CRY EVERY TIME I SEE THEM

What are you procrastinating on? ajkldjboidj lik e 4 art commissions,,,, and 7 MAP parts,,,, and my pre-work for 2 of my classes,,,,,,,and cleaning my room,,,, and sending thank-you notes to relatives,,, SOMEONE KICK MY ASS AND MAKE ME DO SHIT

Which family member are you closest too and what is their name? UHHHH.... I guess my younger brother Luke? or maybe my mom? I’m not on bad terms with anyone though, I love both my older brothers too and we all have a good sibling relationship I just talk more with my younger bro I think - second closest would be with my second older brother Connor!

What’s the last song you listened to? I’m listening to Ultralife by Oh Wonder right now :3c I’ve been on a huUUGE Oh Wonder kick lately!!

What do you generally carry in your bag/pockets when you go out? my wallet (w my license and money and debit card and all), travel size lotion, phone, and chap stick!!

What is one thing you are excited for? FINALLY GETTING TO COLLEGE NEXT WEEK AND STARTING CLASSES FJIODFHINBDFHBNSBO

Do you believe in ghosts? I’m gonna hesitantly say YES but I’m not 100% convinced I don’t think

What is a skill you want to learn? MAYBE THIS IS WEIRD but I think learning how to act would be kinda neat. On a more realistic note I wish I could learn to exercise without dying

Tell me a joke. I’M BAD AT JOKES DON’T DO THIS TO ME NESSIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SO YEAH THAT’S ALL FOLKS it’s 5am now...Nice..... :’) I love my ability to stay up obscenely late while also getting Nothing Done JLSDNVDHAGHVDLAK

[wanderingthroughwickford]

Agents of Shield S4E1: The Ghost

A.k.a. the one that started it all

(Prepare for obscene amounts of rambling about irrelevant faves and lots of (hopefully) self-deprecating humour) 

One thing I really need to try to make sense of in this rewatch is how the gangs got hold of the box from Momentum Lab in the first place. I guess it was vaguely implied that Eli told them about it but ... why? 

I was under the impression that he thought he’d killed his co-workers so I don’t ... think?? he’d know their ghosts/spirits/incorporeal forms were still in the boxes? But if so, why did he describe the contents of the boxes as ‘weapons?’ 

Why would he even want to risk them getting out and coming back for revenge on him? Did it never occur to him that they’d be pissed?

Did he intend for Lucy’s box to be the one that got picked up, or was that just a result of her being the last one to get ghost-ed so her box was closest to the door or something? 

He couldn’t possibly have orchestrated the whole string of events that got him broken out of jail, could he? I mean I know he’s incredibly smart but that’s the thing, there are just too many things that could have gone wrong for someone as intelligent as Eli to bank on such a flimsy plan? Like it relies on the assumption that 1) the ‘ghosts’ are even still alive/in any sentient state, 2) that they’ll decide they need the Darkhold, 3) that they’ll be able to find it, 3) that they won’t be able to read it, 4) that they’ll choose him of all people to read it for them? I mean it’s the definition of Gambit Roulette and I’m just ... not buying it without futher evidence

Damn, this is one hell (eh?) of an entrance for Ghost Rider

Didn’t he rip one of those guys’ spines out through their ... rear end?

Oh man the blood splatter. I forgot Robbie’s early killings were so graphic because most of the time he’s just burning ghosts.

“She was a ghost” - I love how the titular ‘Ghost’ is so ambiguous - it could refer to Daisy, always a ‘ghost’ slipping through Shield’s fingers; to Robbie, the Ghost Rider; and to Lucy, the closest one to a literal ghost.

I kind of have no clue what Daisy’s criminal activity was all about b/c I missed the last episode of S3, but I’ll take the show’s word for it that she wasn’t doing anything all that bad (just trying to stop Watchdogs).

Literal first episode of the season: “They say when the Rider burns you, he burns your soul. And a soul can never heal.” My dumb self, wanting my shitty fave to have some semblance of (admittedly undeserved) peace in the afterlife:

Oh I’d completely forgotten that FitzSimmons were already working on virtual realty at the beginning ... setting up the Framework from the first ep and I didn’t even know it.

FUCK they even namedrop the Framework? In connection with Radcliffe? And here I was thinking they didn’t even introduce it until episode 10 or something.

FITZ BABYYY don’t talk about the Framework so innocently :(

Aww the team coming (almost) all together ... before they’re all so painfully ripped apart later on

I know Mace is kinda painted as being in the wrong for implementing lie detector tests and being overly paranoid and stuff, but, like, Shield did just get back on its feet after being crippled and nearly destroyed by a secret terrorist cult which it had unknowingly harboured within its own ranks for half a century, so ... yeah #Macedeservedbetter

Aww it’s nice how Daisy leaves behind money for the homeowners

YES a mention of the Lucy box

OH GOD it’s AIDA ... I don’t even have words honestly

I want to say “report her right away!” but she’s just an innocent being (?) at this point, so would it be right? 

Mallory Jansen does such a good job though, she’s so robotic and artificial here and she becomes so real as AIDA becomes more human throughout the series

It’s kind of sweet that Radcliffe just invites Fitz and the gang over to his house to watch soccer though

Love Yo-Yo giving Daisy the medicine

Man it’s weird thinking of Robbie as a ‘serial killer’ and a bad guy, as the team sees him at this point ... I had like one episode of genuinely thinking he was a villain and then the second I saw him with Gabe at the end I was like, oh okay, he’s this kind of character, I get where this is going. 

(Keep in mind that I had 0 prior knowledge of who Ghost Rider is or even that he’s a Marvel character)

Aaaand now I see the bloody bodies in the back of the truck and am reminded that Lucy is not, in fact, a good person.

(Though to be fair since that was the first time she’d ever used her powers it was probably an accident ... she probably panicked and tried to push past those guys not knowing it would kill them. Everything after that, though, is on her hands.)

I like Simmons standing up for herself and speaking back to May. It’s good to see her able to put her foot down and justify her decisions. And I like how May is subtly impressed by it.

“In the wrong hands, [AIDA] could be used as a weapon, is that the intention” “No, no, not at all! Look, I know the dangers-” *insert stock photo of people laughing*

AIDA asking Fitz about Jemma is so creepy now...

Nice to hear Lincoln, Trip and Andrew mentioned

Hngnggnhng Radcliffe and AIDA were so well-intentioned at fiiiiiiiirst :(

Ohhhh I think she’s coming sooooooooon~

YES they’re bringing out the box

I can’’t breathe

“I’ve been told [the weapon is] powerful enough to bring our new enhanced enemies to their knees” - man I remember hearing this line and having NO IDEA it referred to a character rather than an object, let alone one I would pledge my life to

Also ... this means that Eli must have known what was in the box, but even if he did know that his co-workers were ghost-ed rather than killed, why would he know they’re dangerous? A disembodied spirit, in and of itself, wouldn’t be harmful... Or was he just bullshitting?

All right here we go

Oh okay I guess we’ve got a Robbie/Daisy scene (who cares about the two most important and interesting characters of the arc when you can obsess over a minor antagonist with barely any screen time amirite?)

YES HERE 

WE 

GO 

FOR

REAL

ą̶̻̱͚̼̱̥̹̘́̽͆́̒͒̄̽̿̌̒ ̷̢̺̪͕͕̲̠̗͚̺̰̈́ͅͅb̵̧̨̡̬͙͎̪̥̠̎̿͋͊̆͌̐̀̿̕͘̚͝͠͠r̶̨̫̲̭̬͚̄̂̽̇̓̏͘͝é̷̘͚͖̦̠ă̸̼̓̋̐̿͝t̷̛͓̠͚͋͐͒̑̀͆͒̃̚h̸̢̡̘̳̗̗̲͕̯̩̠̯͍͂ ̷̾͑��̡̡͕͈̱͉͇̱̭̗͚̖̾͒̎͗͜͠͠ͅȏ̷̧̩͈̖̺̒̎̚̕͝ͅf̵̝̜̲͔̝̩͈̪͕̏ ̷̬̣̥̠͇͈̞̞͈͗̾̒̆̈́̄̾͗̈́͂͝f̵̥͚̤̼̬̫͇̖̖͕̼̼̩̈̂̌͗̃͌͆͂̎̈̀͐͊̈́̕r̴̜̖͉̣͎̰̜̪͒̎̿̾̋̌̐͑́͐͒͒͘̕ę̵̨͕̝̬̞̰͙̟̏̾̉̃̈́͌́̀́̏̕̚͠͝͝s̵͉̠͠h̷̆́��̬̼̙̙͔̪̞̙͖̣͙̮͚̎̉̎͒͋͂́͛̊̽ ̸̢͖͕͍͓͈̼͔̮̳̩̩̝́̍ͅą̵̛̻̘̠̓̀͐̓̓̑͒̍͝i̷̙̓̂̀̈́̋̋͒̈́͐͑̈̚͠ŗ̶͚̖͈̠̘̠̝͙̠̳̝̥̮̟̀͒̑͊̅̚ ̴͙͈̀̔   MY  L O V E 

Has there ever been an entrance more ~iconique~ (TM) than Lucy materializing out of nowhere, hissing warning words in a gangster’s ear and immediately fucking everyone’s shit up (answer: yes)

GOD I remember seeing her for the first time and thinking, like, wtf is that? For some reason I thought there were multiple lady ghosts too before realizing there was just one. I just remember having this feeling like, whoa, this is a whole new playing field here, this is weird, what the hell is this?

I mean I do feel a bit bad for the guy, though ... Lucy’s powers, while cool, really are horrible to their victims.

For the love of GOD stop pausing and freezing, dumb video, I just need to watch like the last 6 minutes

OH and there goes Lucy through May ... I don’t have anything good to say about that, it’s just straight-up cruel and unnecessary on Lucy’s part

“[You killed] a teacher.” “A pedophile.” That’s the first moment where I had that little “oh” awakening about Robbie, like “well, maybe he isn’t such a bad guy.” I still remember that dawning realization.

I’ll always like Robbie/the Ghost Rider sparing Daisy there, even though she thinks she deserves to die due to her guilt - he can tell she’s not a bad person, despite what Hive forced her to do.

I kind of wish there’d been a parallel situation at the end of the season though with Fitz and GR, I think that’d have been a nice, clever book-end, and also given Fitz fans (myself included) some more closure. Plus, possible bonding moment for Daisy and Fitz.

Aww FS sharing a bed??? I forgot that part.

Half these Robbie scenes I recognize intimately from the zillions of AMVs I’ve watched of him in the past 10 months

Aww and here he is with Gabe ... that was the moment I Knew, in my heart, that he wasn’t a bad guy.

Honestly “Everyone gets attached to something” is such a fitting tagline for this episode both for actual relevant reasons and the personal fact that I found my new fave here

Oohhhhh the Coulson zombie face .... D: Lucy whyyy do you do this

May’s honestly really resilient; everybody else who gets infected starts having visions within seconds, whereas for her it takes presumably hours to get the first one, and she holds out for like a day or so (I think) before she goes completely homicidal. I chalk it up to her years of Shield training and mental self-control. 

Anyway that’s all for the first episode! I don’t honestly expect anyone to read these but if you did, I hope you enjoyed/weren’t too irritated by my ramblings. 

Meet the New Boss (one of my fave episodes on a purely self-indulgent level) is next week!!!!!

[markyishanthonymartinez]

4/17/17

i rushed home to hopefully do this before you check.

today was alright i guess.

no. no no no. 

today was great. like sometimes i think about my days and I'm like, “eh yeah it was pretty normal, decent day, whatevs,” but like that’s so dumb. like most days are so great. today was average, but there’s so many great awesome wonderful things that happen every day that i dont think about or appreciate cause i’ve become desensitized to them as being good things and that’s no bueno. 

okay gonna talk about even the lil tings.

i woke up a bit late if i’m being honest, but that’s okay. i sprung straight out of bed and made a quick breakfast (quietly of course, cause logan was slep). ate, got dressed. okay tbh i looked cute af today. i wore one of my fav shirts, which is my pink state champs shirt and like i just really think soft colors really work well with me cause they kinda play well with how dark and defined my hair and facial features are and stuff (honestly that’s probably why like 60% of my closet is white shirts). but yeah and not to mention that pink is kinda polarizing and makes people double take and idk fam, i paired that with my favorite khakis (cuffed up once of course), my normal black vans that i’ve probably worn for like 100000 days straight, and my black bomber jacket that i wear sempiternally. idk i thought the fit was fly af and i felt dank and looking good=feeling good and feeling good is always worth noting. 

went to class. instrumentation is half pointless at this point, cause like we already had our last midterm and the final isn't a written final, the only final for the class is a lab practical. and we’ve learned all the things that the practical could be on. so like in a very loose use of the word, class is kinda pointless the rest of the way. obviously there’s homework and learning and stuff so it’s not completely pointless, but having that in the back of my head just makes it a bit difficult to give my undivided attention in class. even poles was doing other stuff and he’s alwayyyyyyys the attention-payer. bags and jeff are always on their phones and I'm kinda in the middle 4ever. wait also, we got our test scores posted online like a week ago, but he hasn't even mentioned passing the test back to us and like, “fam... if the tests are graded and the scores are entered into canvas then why can't i have it?????????? @ ME” 

after class, as we do every monday, wednesday, friday, we went to the ecc and put in two hours of homework time. i almost finished the mech design due thursday and that’s good cause i need to turn my attention to the heat transfer test on thursday as soon as i can. OH DANG ALSO i finally listened to the new kendrick record. that probably sounds ridiculous considering how hyped i was for kendrick last night and i hadn't even listened to his record, but lemme essssplain. i, mark anthony martinez, love love love listening to records in full and will hold off listening to singular songs until i find the time to run through a record. i just love following the story and letting it all hit me in one fell swoop. but yeah DAMN. is DAMN. absolutely wonderful. kendrick has really outdone himself, and that’s saying something considering his last two releases have been instant classics. i just identify so much with the record and i can't say enough great things. but yeah gr8 times, did hella homework and listened to gr9 record, happy merk. 

then we all walk together to systems. okay this one asshole has been kinda trying to take our seats for the past two weeks and i’m gonna kick his teeth in next time he does it.... okay not really i’ve never been in a fight. but forreal, WE’VE SAT THERE ALL SEMESTER, 1-2-3-4-5. JT ON THE END, THEN ME, THEN POLESIES, FOLLOWED BY JEFF, AND FINALLY BAGS. EVERYONE ELSE RESPECTS SEATS. WHY CANT YOU, YOU DISRESPECTFUL UNGRATEFUL TURD BASKET. no, but really, fam has sat in the row behind us allllll semester and like just last week he decided to try us? nahhhhh, aint gonna fly. 

anyways, jt didn't get a seat with us because of that, and like he just walks up and loudly proclaims, “DAMN MAN, WHY DO PEOPLE GOTTA FUCK UP THE STATUS QUO?” same jt, same. 

systems was dope. it’s probably my most fun class considering how dynamic and interesting and just all things it is. v hard, but i love to dip my mind into the material. 

wow okay i just peeked at the clock and whoops.

ummm okay then i came home with poles and bags and logan was on the couch watching the arsenal game on his phone cause i guess the nbc sports xbox app wasn't working. so i came to the rescue and put the game on my laptop and connected it to our projector, yay haps logan. 

then we all hung out for a bit and did guy stuff.

talk shit about each other and talk about memes and make fun of bags for breaking poles’ garbage disposal

arsenal won, logan was haps, i wasn't lol. 

then poles left to go try to fix his garbage disposal lol. and logan bags and i kinda just hung out and continued the previous activities and yeah. bags left for work and logan left for the airport and i did homework while listening to más kendrick. 

then i had a game tonight. tyler didn't show up... which is weird cause like he’s the one that organized this and like is one of our better players and prettttty sure he took and nap and just slept through everything lol. but anyways, we played tke. FUCK TKE. (in case bags reads dis). but yeah uh they weren’t very good. like they weren't garb, and had a few solid players, but in the grand scheme of things they did a lot of nothing lol. we had soooooo many chances that we didn't put away. we got the first goal through nathan early on. then they tied it up and kinda celebrated all over the place, which sorta kinda maybe pissed me off. so, naturally, i scored a beautiful little heel flick that drew cheers form the tke crowd lol. and then nathan set me up beautifully for a second that i got really clean connected on and drilled passed the keeper from outside the box. it ended like that 3-1. oh oh oh also one of the refs was a rad friend that lived on my floor in the dorms that i hadn't seen in 15k years so that was nice to see her. oh wait at the end, okay hold on, why am i always a dickhead? like the the crowd kinda got on my nerves a few times cause they were just being overly rambunctious. so what does lil ole mark decide to do? i go into sarcastic mark mode, but not verbally (well okay a lil verbally), mainly physically. like one time they kicked the ball out and said they were all like WTFFFF FAM THAT WENT OUT OFF HIS BACK. and like it defs didn't and the refs knew it didn't and i’m kinda just chuckling and then one of them is like, “see, he’s laughing, he knows it went off his back” so of course, what do i do. i literally point at my back and just lay down in the middle of the court. then there were other things here or there, but yeah i was nice most of the time. 

came home, eating pizza, gonna shower and slep now. 

april seventeenth is a beautiful day.

happy birthday lil ms orange

ilylots

hope you did fun things//and even if you’re old and grody, stay beautiful

- mark anthony martinez

[ghostofasecretary]

hooo boy, this week. it would be good to record things that happened this week, because Feelings are happening about said things

Sunday:

attempted to plan things with the Rat Bastard. that failed

applied to Wellesley

really, really, really did not do my ADLs

watched ASoUE

decided that, instead of homework, i should…hang up pictures? spent four hours hanging up pictures with help of parental unit

and then i had a bunch of new stuff on my wall

Monday:

no school! everybody panic! breaks are terrible and no one should have one!

finished ASoUE

plans with people. talking to people. people are good

GOT OBSESSIVELY LOCKED INTO CLEANING

like. usually i am able to focus on stuff for a while and then stop, but here? no. i moved everything in my room. i went through a substantial amount of papers of me, being a dork from 7th grade til last year, and felt extremely awful about all of them

i hate throwing stuff out! it is very good to do so, but also, ugh

moved and collapsed a bunch of stuff

got freaked out by how empty and new my room is

hung up new art

got extremely pissed at the movie “V for Vendetta,” because THAT IS NOT OKAY TO DO TO PEOPLE, HOW THE FUCK, WHAT KIND OF ABUSIVE SHIT SHOW, i don’t really have flashbacks but if i did, uh. yeah.

made some rice

had a panic attack in the shower, as one does

just felt really really terrible for mostly indiscernible reasons, which probably round to “breaks: they aren’t good”

felt okay by the time i went to bed, though

Tuesday:

fuck tuesday

did my homework in the morning because brains, what are brains

hey the principal needs to talk to you and your mom! for reasons! apparently!

HEY GUYS MANDATORY SURPRISED UNSCHEDULED SENIOR MEETING RIGHT WHEN YOU ARE SCHEDULED TO LEAVE WITH YOUR FRIEND

OOPS NOPE NOW THAT IS CANCELLED

then i got to see Joe, which was lovely

we went to the best coffee shop and hung out, and bullied each other into making lists, and we talked about our vastly different suicidal feelings and how i just sort of - process my suicidal intent as background noise, not really anything, like pain, like habit - don’t feel suicidal in the same way i don’t feel like a redhead, and i showed him all of rusalkii’s “the paint pettiness” tag because it is fantastic, and so that was delightful

then we went to an art studio so he could work on photos

i derped around and read poetry and walked out on the freaking awesome porch and admired pretty spiderwebs and sunlight

and then settled in to read for anatomy

and then Joe came in and did stuff in the computer lab, which was nice

AND THEN

hahahahahahhahhahah

a girl! blue eyes, blond hair, tan skin! name of “Maddy!” came in! to sit next to me!

like, i have a couple of things that basically always trigger me and they are all pretty unfortunate. like, being complimented by authority figures, especially in private, makes me want to die. certain bible verses. people making animal noises. churches, as a general rule. but the number one thing which upsets me is people who remind me of Maddy

like, fictional characters named some variation of “Madison”? yeah. can’t read Worm because there’s a short blond blue eyed bully with that name

people with a certain facial structure, even, if i’m having a Bad Time

which! guess what! the past couple of months! i have been having a Bad Time! for a while i could not go to coffee shops without screaming because tall black haired people had snub noses, okay, it has not been a fun season for the Traumz

and, to top it all off, i don’t actually remember her face or how she spells her name! i don’t! i just remember how her full name sounded/really accurate animal sounds/wanted to be a surgeon/blue eyes/snub nose/ambivalent coloring/blond bob, stacked, she didn’t use conditioner and then she did???/had duck pajamas at one point/SUPER AWFUL THINGS SHE DID AND SAID TO ME AND THEN THE THINGS I DID AND SAID FOR HER, hahahhhahaaahah!

so. had a really long and quiet panic attack

frantically texted Joe to ask if he knew her last name, which he did not

it was so horribly triggering, mother of g-d

then she left

and i cuddled Joe a bit, and he was v calming and good, and we talked about random shit and his photos and The Future, and i read him the english major articles and stuff, and overall it was quite distracting

and she came back, and then we left, and we had a brief interaction but it was...fine

and we went down in the elevator

her sign in didn’t include a last name

we walked to the car, and drove further in, and walked til we got to the gelato place in the deco building

the ice cream barista was v v v cute and relatively interesting and recommended pen&ink for tattoos

i really enjoy Joe, he is a good bean and a good friend and Quality

we walked back

i shouted “you go, running man” at a dude who was running very quickly, which was an Incredibly Impulsive decision and then something i felt shitty about, but it was also kinda funny

and people kinda were screaming as we neared the car, so that was weird

i wouldn’t have gone out unless i were with Joe

but it was nice

and i kinda. felt shitty and lived with it, and didn’t think about stuff, and we talked about How To Comfort Ghost When They Are Dead - Joe has improved a lot and it’s nice to have these discussions - and i helped plan for Joe, and he tried to reciprocate, because trying to help other people is really hard to do well, and i really really love my friends and i love Joe and i love feeling comfortable and safe and alive around people. it was good

and i was home by 8

and my sister had moved to my bathroom? which doesn’t sound like a big deal, but also. ugh. i moved downstairs, despite it requiring a lot of leg movement for me, because she is so exhaustingly untidy. i had to force her to clean up, which was unpleasant

and i think this is when i learned about the subject of the mystery meeting? mr. Post decided i could not fully join the alum association because i am not a christian, even though he had earlier said i could! and i was never less than honest about who and what i am! and so either i could do something half baked or i could do nothing. so. wasn’t that a lovely surprise to top off my day :/

and then i went upstairs and my room was empty and i was empty

got to sleep by 9:30, which was at least one good thing

Wednesday:

i was so tired and everything was 10x harder

by lists, this was the busiest day of the week. gotta love that.

got to school at 7:15, due to my mother’s job

did classes

ugh

N, another good bean, immediately got why i was so stressed and was super sympathetic and also asked if it was the Maddy, and i hadn’t thought of that, and i don’t know, i don’t know, i hate my brain doing this to me

we had a super passive aggressive and rather inefficient senior meeting led by the principal, which exposed School Drama

and a disturbing view of how classes work, but that is another topic

i asked good questions and it was incredibly obvious that certain people were at fault and other people were acting decently and still others had no idea that this was happening and did not enjoy the guilt trip and scrupulosity triggers and, in fact, the knowledge of other people’s stupid high school bullshit

who doesn’t get their drama done in 5th grade and get super traumatized and decide to never do that again? honestly

AND THEN

(warnings for a lack of clarity in the next section, because rage)

ms. Cathey yelled at us for being “selfish”

and said we were “spoiling your reputation”

and more importantly, “spoiling my reputation. this reflects badly on me and my job.“

FUCK YOU

THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TREAT KIDS

THAT IS NOT HOW YOU LEAD PEOPLE

the only reason classes have a reputation is because you tell other classes about them

ALSO: PLEASE DO NOT INSINUATE THAT OTHER PEOPLE ARE BEHAVING SELFISHLY WHEN, IN FACT, THEY ARE ACTING LIKE PEOPLE AND YOU SEE YOURSELF AS A DIVINELY APPOINTED MEDDLER AND THUS THEIR PROBLEMS ARE A SELF CENTERED ATTACK ON YOU, AS A PERSON

you know the only person who was really, lastingly hurt by this? her aide, who spends 8 hours in her office and has her ear as no one else does and has noticeably become more like ms. Cathey in the last year

this is a fucking adult. a 30 year old woman. yelling at high school seniors about how they are selfish for attempting to solve their own, mostly self generated problems, without talking enough to the person you hear most from, who is probably being influenced by your own propensity for inefficient, ineffective, and frankly inaccurate communication

YOU ARE BAD AT YOUR JOB AND BAD TO PEOPLE AROUND YOU AND I WANT YOU TO BE FIRED, PLEASE STOP BEING AROUND PEOPLE WHO ARE EASILY HURT, PLEASE STOP BEING SO DUMB, JUST. Fucking stop.

(that’s not very kind, but at this point i am incredibly angry with her and my anger is justified, and so i will have to construct a positive case in defense of her, that’s good practice. once i graduate, though, i am asking for her to be fired)

no one came out of that meeting with anything resembling sanity

and then my meeting with the principal got cancelled

and i went to a coffee shop and hung out with The Coolest Dietz, which was pretty great

except i was, as noted, dead and full of rage and anxiety

but mostly it was awesome

and then i had philology club

and then i took a friend home

and then i took a bath

and then i figured out how to dress for prom

and then i had that kind of dissociation that’s so stark and unsubtle it can’t be anything but dissociation, where your hands aren’t your hands and your body isn’t your body and you aren’t alive, at all, really, you’re a floating falling non being in static space

and then i read someone’s trauma blog a bit

and then i talked to a person

and then i failed to do things, because exhaustion

and then i went to sleep really early

Thursday:

did not have homework done, which was unfortunate but could be fixed. also did not have headache medications.

why?

because who has the energy to remind people multiple times of your pressing need for medication

it was an understandable mistake, but also. ugh.

PAIN HAPPENED

skyped my principal while i had a migraine. that was…fun.

i don’t feel like detailing it but it went well, i guess, and we decided a thing, mostly

apparently i am “groundbreaking” or w/e

remember how compliments from authority figures in private make me want to die? yeaahh

laid in the dark while in pain for a while

got meds at 12

read about s t o y a, because why not

got increasingly horribly anxious about my freaking homework for Friday

talked to a person; said person attempted to help and had me do some ADLs, which was good

got an SD card, which was a surprise but a good one

still did not even begin to do things. SO. TIRED.

stayed up til 11, decided this was unproductive because i could not move

went to bed

Friday:

decided to go to school even though i had done nothing and was dead, because i have a fun Dr. V class on Fridays

read the German in a rush before school

went to class

went to break. oh! turns out! we’re streaming the whole inauguration! and today has no schedule! and Mr. Post’s secretary isn’t here, so we can’t ask her why!

i hate surprises

one of my two classmates is incredibly, incredibly pro-Trump

it’s so exhausting.

the other was absent

we read some stuff, it was good, the fact that i didn’t have my homework mattered less than expected

Dr. V did not actually call me and The Coolest Dietz, who decided to hang out in our classroom, quote man-hating dykes unquote, but holy shit, that was hilarious

and very inaccurate, in Dietz’s case. after he left Dr. V began talking about how he could “clean up nice” and “all the boys at our school must be blind,” which was even more hilarious

(also this saga was a bit awful, but there are things that you forgive in order to live in the world, so)

S U R P R I S E

YOU HAVE TO GIVE A SPEECH! 

SORRY THAT I, THE GREAT MS. CATHEY, DIDN’T TELL YOU THIS

ALSO I GAVE YOU BLATANT MISINFORMATION ABOUT THE BANNER, SORRY

WHO DOESN’T LOVE FUN SURPRISES

ALSO I WAS GONE ALL DAY BECAUSE I WAS GETTING MY HAIR DONE, LOL

called a college b/c application bullshit

prepared for Teh Prom

was at Teh Prom

it was exhausting and i was temporarily blinded due to masks

Surprise! the person who made last year’s third quarter miserable with her wedding showed up and hugged you from behind! gotta love it!

she wasn’t at my table, thank fucking god

sat next to M and K, and M wanted to talk about 3D printing and K wanted to write notes, and it was altogether pretty satisfactory

the food wasn’t great, but it existed, so that was good.

i waltzed with Joe’s little sister, the same K, which was pretty fun

wrote a lot of notes, always a delightful Teh Prom activity

i wrote a speech in the car on the way there

THAT WAS SO ANXIETY INDUCING

it was a Work for me and my co-banner-bullshit-committee-member to divide the speech into a nice, thematically appropriate thing, BUT WE DID IT

THANK GOD

and my jokes carried! and we played off of each other! i fucking love public speaking

and the NOA thing happened

it was surprisingly not awkward, if anxiety-inducing

and then it was over

and i went home

and i was home

and i slept

Saturday:

slept for 12 hours and woke up at 11

good talks in the morning

mostly was a person

felt bad

did laundry

took a bath

cleaned my room some more

went to a tea shop, which was nice

cleaned some stuff

read about how to resist Trump

goofed around on tumblr

drank a delicious oatmeal type mocha and had an extremely filling triple layer chocolate mousse

went home

ate a lot of food

kinda crashed

talked to people

realized HEY, i feel like an automaton or a cyborg and usually that means i am festering

wrote this thing! thanks again, rusalkii, you are a delight and an extremely helpful human

now: put up laundry

slep

i don’t know how i feel, still, but i now understand the magnitude of shitty stuff which has happened. the thing on Tuesday has made everything 10x harder, even though i was able to ground and be comforted and think the past was post, it still sucked a lot. and there were other triggering things this week! there was a frankly ridiculous amount of pain and also walking!

surprises kill me so much and so thoroughly and i never remember this.

next week will probably be hard. i might not feel it. i first thought i wouldn’t react for a while, but i seem to be reacting a bit. maybe something will pop up later and maybe it won’t, who knows. it’s okay that things suck.

a few quotes: not the spring dawn: i strained, i suffered, i was delivered. this isn’t the present. nature isn’t like us, doesn’t have a warehouse of memory.

lucky nature.

(not everything has to bloom. that’s how gardens work: you plant seeds, you wait. something imperfect grows, still, maybe.)