#fucking clownery. nonsense even.

[attila-werther]

OKAY you know what. I need a week to hate Brutus and just. really bury the uwu sad boy I used to write. dig that hole six feet into the ground and then extra. dismantle the whole body and figure out something new. maybe chew on the corpse a bit. and THEN we get back to all of this

[minijenn]

Happy almost anniversary to the time I posted Bee Movie’s script in UF as a silly little April Fool’s prank and got sent fucking death threats because of it

[randomnameless]

The biggest thing that bothers me with Willy's sekrit History is this :

In the end, Seiros was victorious. The Immaculate One and her family then took control of Fódlan.

Nopes wise, Willy was around after Nemesis's death, aka he saw Cethleann'n'Cichol yeet away, ditto for Macuil and Indech retreating in his hamlet or his pond.

So what "family" members is this talking about ? The Apostles? They only popped up after GM's completion.

Tinfoil hat theory :

Nemesis ded, who's left to rule over Fodlan? Seiros (her bros have left) and the Hresvelgs. Seiros dgaf, so the Hresvelg, claiming descent from Seiros herself - thus being her fam - take control of Fodlan. Now, was this entire "we're her fam" grounded in reality, a cop out to explain their crests, or something they sprouted out of nowhere to give legitimacy to their rule, as in it's something else that "we were stronger than your previous leaders so we now we're in charge?"

Something like :

Willy : "wow Seiros is a dragon!"

Lycaon 1, writing in his dad's journal : "if I have Seiros's power, does it mean we're related? Am I her son?"

Hildegarde 1, taking over Lycaon's entry when he dies "accidently" : "as Saint Seiros's last living kin, it is our right and duty to us, Hresvelgs, to rule over Fodlan. Yeah, that sounds nice, I should use this against any barbarian trying to challenge my rule."

Emperor Ionius 5, who is very salty about the entire Faerghus issue "Seiros is a dragon and her disgusting kin is ruling over the world, that means we, humans, aren't even masters of our own destiny!", completely oblivious to the fact that per the Totally Legit History (tm), House Hresvelg is also part of Seiros' fam.

TL;DR : we were robbed of Supreme Leader's big self realisation moment when she finally found "dah truth" about "History" and cried tears of joy discovering she was not a lizardspawn.

Edelgard’s lack of interest in looking into the history of Fodlan beyond what her (dubiously reliable) father and (fantasy Nazi torture squad) TWSITD tell her is such a clear and glaring character flaw that so many of her “did nothing wrong” fans defend as Good, Actually. Like I can’t wrap my head around it, we know that there’s so much about the history of the continent that El either doesn’t or refuses to learn and while it’s understandable in some ways why she can’t it’s still like. Bad. It’s so clear that if her actual goal was liberation then she would’ve done more research, gone to the church and told them that hey, the Slitherers™️ are at it again and we need to do something. But she doesn’t, because that’s not actually her goal… it’s conquest of the other two nations and an overturning of the current system to favor her (mostly already privileged) friends, plain and simple. But people who either didn’t play any routes but CF or just didn’t pay attention/have poor media analysis skills love to say otherwise. Bluh.

I still can't get over how she was tortured and lost all her siblings to TWSITD and decided that the CHURCH was the biggest threat.

Edelgard 100% believes she is in the right and is the ONLY person who is right and thus is the ONLY person who can bring about change. And with "change" I mean "unify Fodlan and bring it under the control of the Adrestian Empire like it was in the past".

At no point does she consider that Wilhelm's history could've been tampered with, or simply been misunderstood after a whole millenia has passed. And why not? Because it's the only thing that drives her hatred for the church, and if it was disproven then she has no leg to stand on? Probably!

[stars-and-darkness]

hi! may i ask why you don't like TO? i'm still in the process of watching TVD (i've been fighting and clawing my way through season 5 and what the FUCK is this clownery) and i was about to give up and just watch TO because honestly TVD has become so boring without the mikaelsons that not even bonnie and caroline can save it (i also know pretty much everything that happens in the show and i am decidedly NOT a fan of the magical babies and all the other crap), but i've been stalking your blog for half an hour now (not in a creepy way i promise! i just LOVE your fics and fell down a rabbit hole) and it seems like it might not be worth it?

sorry, that was honestly completely incoherent😭. please forgive me, i am having some trouble creating sentences today.

i mean, as i understand it, a magical wonderchild is the CRUX of TO's plot, and personally, i was not willing to subject myself to that. and ever since then, every single thing i have learned about TO has been against my will, and every single thing made has me go ... the fuck???? i'm sorry to say, but the impression i get is that that's a show that turned its characters into carricatures of themselves, twisted the lore into nonsense (as if it had much sense in the first place ...), and suffers from Late Series Syndrome from s1e1. so in a way, maybe i should be thankful to the magical wonderbrat #1 (i shudder to type something like that) for being such an obviously terrible plotpoint that i gave up the idea of watching immediately, so none of the more insidiously terrible plotpoints could get me.

i haven't seen it, and i have come to the conclusion that i'm happier that way, but none of that means you shouldn't watch it if you want to. who am i to tell you what to do? i just don't think you should expect it to be any more interesting than the s5 you're trudging through (and s5 is actually excellent compared to the nonsense that follows, which isn't a great compliment to s5), only infinitely more frustrating.

[cosmicjoke]

You think everyone is that anon😭 That person really did a number on you and your friends it seems IJBOL. I don't mind tbh. But keep Satoru and Suguru out of your discords period. Ain't nobody give a fuck about y'all playing victims and being homophobic. Unlike you I don't feel like crying about who is a better Levi stan cause you all aren't either. Tf you don't understand like? You have weirdo friends who sexualize Levi any chance they get, and with themselves lmao, like the clownery is wild, and you think we're supposed to take y'all seriously?

KEEP SATORU AND SUGURU OUT OF YOUR NONSENSE. PERIODT!!!

Satoru and Suguru aren't gay for each other. They're as straight as arrows. They liked to fuck women. Oh my god, oh my god, they're so straight it isn't even funny. Ohh, the humanity!

You might as well all be the same person, either way. You all subscribe to the same, hive mind, after all.

[suuho]

Omg Kaz if you are too busy it's absolutely not obligatory but I was wondering if you could make a list of videos for getting to know got7? Like the one you made for pentagon! I don't know anything about got7 but I would like to and you always seem to have so many cool recommendations! Again only if you have the time and want to!! Thank you :-)

hi!!! i am not too busy! i'm aghase for life so i am very happy to help you out here, got7 is seriously one of the best groups ever, and one of the top 2 groups to come out of jyp. it's crazy that they got it so right twice in a row. 2pm are, like, the godfathers of got7, and it is actually pretty endearing to see that some of them are very close! junho considers jinyoung of got7 his dongsaeng and they are very good friends (as seen on junho's most recent i live alone appearance). more under the cut!

anyways. so, got7 are, in age order: mark (rapper, visual, american member), jayb (leader, main vocal), jackson (main rapper, face of the group, chinese member), jinyoung (lead vocal, dancer, visual, center, face of the group), youngjae (main vocal), bambam (rapper, thai member), yugyeom (main dancer, vocal, maknae).

the entire rap line of got7 is the international line or called the atk (amerithaikong) line, which is insane if you think about it. entire rap line (rap!!!!) made of some dudes who aren't even performing in their first language. that takes guts and talents. every member in the group has either produced or written songs for got7, jaebeom is their primary producer, but so are jinyoung and youngjae. yugyeom, too. jinyoung has been known to choreograph for the group, and vigilantly monitors their performances. bambam is the most fashion forward member and it is all over his body of work, which is so exciting.

jackson is jackson, like, that is literally jackson wang and if you open youtube and type in his name you will find tons of videos because he is really the face of the group and a very well established solo artist, too. here is his latest big single blow which is truly a serve, the earworm inducing 100 ways, and my personal favorite LMLY. here is jackson answering the web's most searched questions and his little stint on the late late show with james corden.

anyways, moving on.

got7 song association, elle; this is a very easy and breezy intro to who got7 is and their very own, personal brand of clownery.

got7 takes a friendship test, glamour; this is one of my favorite videos of got7, and my comfort video too. it is funny and sweet and you learn a lot about the members and their chemistry.

7 things you don't know about got7, mtv news; another easy and fun one.

Interview with people tv; probably their most iconic interview for a lot of hysterical reasons. this is 24 minutes long but not a single minute is wasted.

got7 hard carry season 2 & 2.5; so, the entirety of this was on got7's vlive channel but vlive has been eaten by weverse (fuck hybe, man) so here is a youtube playlist of some bits and pieces. this was the show that made me fall irrevocably in love with got7. season 2.5 is on youtube in its entirety, and i'm pretty sure if you look for season 2 on the usual sites, they might have uploaded it there.

got7's TMI lab, M2; what it says on the tin. the first episode is not subbed, so just start with the second. lots of fun nonsense here. got7 truly are variety idol royalty.

performances:

nanana mv; their latest comeback and the first after leaving jyp.

crash & burn, be original; yugyeom and jackson choreographed this. one of the coolest performances they have ever done.

crash & burn, music bank; they performed live here and i always include this in my recs because of youngjae's stunning live adlibs (at 3:00). he is on par with minjun of 2pm as the best vocalist jyp has ever had. it's truly bonkers.

you are van live; this is my favorite got7 title track and this is one of the best and funniest and realest things they have ever done. live performers.

never ever cooking live; they sing and decorate a cake. what is not to adore.

1° tape; their live performance of spinning top's 1°. one of the best songs in their entire discography, written by yugyeom. everyone is so stunning here, especially youngjae.

if you do, mbc music festival; iconic performance of an absolutely perfect track. they slowed it down in the first half but the performance does not suffer whatsoever.

just right comeback stage; their big breakthrough hit. like 2pm, rookie got7 were known for their intense martial arts choreography.

lullaby pyjama version; live in living color, baby! this song has insanely fun choreography.

AAA awards medley; the greatest to ever do it. absolute beasts.

poison, be original; this is just a great song with such clever choreography (by jinyoung, yugyeom and jackson), once again. there is one performance where jinyoung forgot his handkerchief.

runaway, 6th fanmeeting; the only time they performed the greatest track in their entire discography live. written and produced by jinyoung.

breath (written and produced by youngjae), you are, fan favorite page, encore, not by the moon, thursday, you calling my name (including yugyeom’s very own gashina moment)

on top of it all, the members all have solo careers. jaebeom has  released under his stage name jay b (including the breakdancing he was known for in got7) and his producer tag Def. yugyeom is at AOMG, which houses LeeHi and GRAY, and has released quite a bit solo stuff. his collab with gray, all your fault, is absolutely brilliant and required listening. bambam is at abyss now, the same label sunmi is at, and has shown the world that he is a true allrounder. he is now a fixed cast member of variety show master in the house.

youngjae is at sublime, the very same company handling all of jackson's korean releases, and i just want them to finally make jjap jjap project a real thing. here they both are on youngjae's radio show, best friend! youngjae starred in midnight sun (musical) last year, and he starred in so not worth it, netflix's first korean sitcom, and it is as delightful as it sounds. his solo music is very poppy and cool; here is sugar, his latest comeback. youngjae is such a special case because he only trained for a few months after he got into jyp, and then debuted straight off the bat as the main vocal. he won awards in high school for his singing and he made it a point to often perform fully live (occasionally blowing out his voice in the process, but hey, that's dedication.)

jinyoung is the most established actor in all of got7. he most recently starred in the second season of yumi's cells, and the tvn drama The Devil Judge (HUGE recommendation). he had a cameo in the first episode of reborn rich, and starred in he is psychometric and when my love blooms. he has just released his first solo album, but his first ever solo release dive is outstanding. perfect pop rock.

mark has released an entire solo album, including the singles last breath, my life, and lonely. those songs are so mind-bogglingly good, it is hard to comprehend that got7's most introverted member just came out of the gate swinging right away.

their best albums imo are: spinning top, call my name, 7 for 7, breath of love, and the entire flight log trilogy that has to be seen as a full body of work.

flight log is got7's own, lore heavy narrative (like bts' most beautiful moment), that starts with flight log: departure and corresponding title track fly, is continued by flight log: turbulence and iconic got7 banger hard carry, and ends with flight log: arrival and the incomparable never ever. jinyoung is the protagonist of the story, and it is all very, y'know. life and death. very tragic and beautiful.

ah, i think this is quite enough, sorry! i hope this can be of any help to you. thank you so much for that nice ask, i had a lot of fun compiling this. ♡

[dearweirdme]

tkkrs could've been taken seriously if they chose the narrative for lack of taekook content as only "the company is hiding them!" without inserting jimin into the situation and making a double narrative between "the company is hiding" and "the company is pushing jikook".

like it makes zero fucking sense for a company that—according to tkkrs—is so scared of having a gay couple to be actively pushing a narrative of... a seemingly gay couple? ntm involving one of the members that they're supposedly so scared to be exposed as gay? AND involving jimin who has no business being thrown into another couple's drama and throwing him to the wolves while simultaneously pushing a narrative that he's a company favorite??

all of your narratives contradict each other and yet they're all pushed simultaneously and are so widespread as a "truth" when none of it makes sense.

jikook are most definitely not a company narrative (not dating either) and if there's any suspicious moments about their bond or friendship or whatever that don't fit in the picture of taekook being a couple, as in "why would jikook do this if taekook are dating?" then just accept that taekook might not be actually a thing which gives jikook more room to be playfully flirty without being horrible friends (or in jk's case, a boyfriend) to tae instead of taking the stupid road of "the company arranged this" when again, it is complete nonsense—and frankly, clownery—for tkkrs to be saying this when they're the same ones who say hybe is scared of the risks of having a gay couple under their label

Hi anon!

You know what's funny? I've gotten quite some asks the last couple of months, from all sides off fandom; Tkkrs, Jkkrs, Taennies, some neutral perspectives even. You know who are the ones that come to me with "you must think Jk is a bad boyfriend" or "You probably think Jimin is a bad friend" sort of asks? It's Jikookers, every single time. I know there's Tkkrs out there who do this, I absolutely do, but it's not solely Tkkrs inserting Jimin in the story. And what about vice versa? "You know Tae, he just has to have his hands on Jk, don't know why?", "Tae is using Jk for attention", "Jk can't say no to Tae, Jimin at least has the guts to"... what's that all about then? I've gotten an ask about the Osaka live Tae did (working on it) and you know what Jkkrs actually think? That JImin got so mad at Tae about it that he acted petty and refused to have Tae on his live the next day. What is that?

You present yourself as a non-shipper, but I'm not sure if you actually are one. I actually agree that a huge part of Tkkrs treat Jimin wrong. He is not to blame here, at all. But it is not correct to say Jkkrs don't have a hand in this themselves. They drag Tae too, they are the ones holding Jimin in front of us trying to get a reaction. I don't do that. When I mention Jimin, I mention him as Jk and Tae's best friends. That's it.

Do I think the company pushes Jikook? Yes, but not the way Jkkrs like to think. There's always certain things a company pushes more. In bands it's friendships, because it's a sign of a well working band... and people just like to see happy banter. I can go hours watching BTS members interact, it makes me happy and that is exactly the effect a marketing team wants. It's obvious that thats how things started out with Tae and Jk. They were the ones pushed, because their friendhip was genuine, because they had great chemistry, because they made people happy. Ofcourse Jimin was also in the mix, they were really close back then as well. But everyone knows that Tae and Jk were more special. So when that was no longer a possibility, and Tae and Jk interactions started to be less and less on camera, what was left was the closeness between Jimin and Jk and Jimin and Tae. Jk and Jimin have wonderfull, playfull chemistry as well... so that stood out. The company utilizes it, but it is not fabricated, it is real. The company does not however push another queer relationship to cover another. As I said yesterday, the romance part is inserted by Jkkrs. There is no romance there. Are there playfull flirtations, yes.. do they play it up for the camera's, yes. There is no romance though and the company does not try to make it so. The company is pushing a friendship while hiding a relationship, and that is why things look the way they do.

But, let's go there a bit. Because what is it like to see your best friend and your partner play it up for the camera's while you are not even allowed to touch him much? We have seen instances of Tae being jealous/sad when Jimin and Jk are Jikookerying. It has hurt him. But in those moments, is he really mad at Jimin and Jk? Or does he hurt, because it can never be him? Because even though you have managed to deal with a situation, there are still times when it sucks and there are still times when it hurts just a little more. It's human, it's normal. I think Jimin and Tae have the best of bonds and they will have talked about these things. Jimin would not want Tae to hurt over this. I think Jk reassures Tae every chance he gets. It's part of their jobs to play it up for the camera's, Tae knows this... he does it himself. I think some Tkkrs (and Jkkrs as well) don't know this and that is where the hate comes from.

I'm perfectly capable of talking about Tae and Jk's relationship without mentioning Jimin. He is not a part of my narrative for Taekook. I do talk about him, but that is mainly because people send me asks.

[outoftheblue-if]

I’m in love with all the crossovers (it’s awesome how you are all friends)!! So for you—who would the OotB ROs get along most with in Scandal? And Citadel?

Same, anon! I adore @bouncyballcitadel and @nightingale-interactive 🤎Not only do they really inspire me as writers and creators, but they're also genuinely awesome people ✨

EDIT: FUCK I FORGOT ABOUT VIC!!! SORRY VIC I LOVE YOU 😂😂🤎

Isobel: Like Eleana said, I think she would really get along with Alcina, and, naturally, really get a long with Ivy Sloan too. Just imagine the three of them in a room!! chef's kiss. My bi heart would probably combust lol. I think Isobel would really respect Peter Grey too, admiring his tenacity and what he's made of himself.

Max: Them and Eli would have an absolute hoot together lol. Just imagine the clownery. I also agree that they would get along really well with Stephen. Max would absolutely love Jean too. Also, even though they might not initially click, I think Max and Davy might find that they have some things in common too, and Max could definitely learn a thing or two from them.

Clara: Usually gets along well with everybody, but I too could see her really getting along with Stephen, as well as Eli. Clara would absolutely adore Jean too, but who doesn't?? I think Clara would really like Davy as well. She would admire their ambition and the fact they decided to become a doctor even when they're rich and basically set for life. She's good at reading people too, so she would probably try to coax them out of their emotionally constipated self (idk, would you say they're emotionally constipated, Bouncy? 😂)

Richard: Would definitely get along well with Quinn, I agree. They are quite alike in personality and temper I think, and would find common ground in their duties at work. Also agree that he would get along well with Christian, though it might take him some time to get over the differences in rank and be able to... speak freely to Christian, given that they're the President. Honestly, I think Richard would really like and admire Ivy Sloan too. He would respect her no-nonsense attitude and the way she's so direct, not sugar coating things, as well as how much she cares for her patients.

William: Would probably get along really well with Christian and Peter, though he would initially be pretty intimidated by them, feeling like they're not in the same league. But once he finds out they're just decent, regular people deep down, they would likely find common ground in the love they have for their children, like Eleana said. I think William would really admire their ambition too. Also, William would really like Jean too, they remind him of his daughter, Gracie, though he would feel like an instant need to protect them lol.

Thank you so much for this fun ask, anon! ✨🤎

[noirbriar]

I got tagged by @awlwren and I have to say this was hard and my briancells are already fried from work this week.  I have been in so many fandoms since I was in elementary that I just can’t choose??  :’)

Rules: List your favourite character from 10 different fandoms and then tag 10 people.

There are way too many fandoms I have been in and this was hard. In no particular order but those that immediately come to mind off hand. Not necessarily in fandom but in general in that series? Yup. 

1) Kurosawa Sae / Fatal Frame 2

I am torn as Fatal Frame/Project Zero series had such memorable characters. Especially 1-3, which paved the way in that era of horror gaming greats.

Sae is an absolute icon. Sad and just chilling. Her image, her backstory, her aura is just, absolutely unforgettable. Sae is just tragic especially once you link it to FF1 and FF3 and in relation to the other characters and the beliefs. Abandoned, yet her longing and grief, the resentment. Simple and perfect. 

2) Edea Kramer / FFVIII

I simp for this sorceress. I don’t care what y’all say, I love Ultimecia, her fight and all but Edea was just, a queen. I will keel over and let her step on me. Gorgeous, powerful and absolutely amazing considering her role in the story. Her appearances all left me a weak, weak individual. And mid game? She gave me a heart attack ngl.

3) Okumura Eiji / Banana Fish

Everyone loves Ash Lynx. I do too. I love Sing, Shorter and the series. But Eiji? That boy is pure but he’s not innocent. He knew Ash’s pain, he loved him as a person and was there just for Ash throughout. He would risk his life for Ash. I will admit at the end in Garden of Light I wept like a lil baby reading it. Eiji’s guilt is my one sole heartache. Find me one who did not and we’ll talk. Eiji deserved all the good things, hurghhh.

4) Prompto Argentum / FFXV

My best boy, my dear boy. Episode Prompto was just the icing on top and sealed the deal for me. He was the reason I got into the FFXV fandom even before Cor, before Nyx. This baby chocobo right here. All the insecurities, the need to push himself be better, being by Noct’s side. I cannot not love him. Those that called him weak? This boy trained very shortly before, just to go out and be with his bud on his big day and ends up in a war and divine nonsense. His loyalty and friendship with Noct is just *insert incomprehensible noise here* I just wished SE had allowed FFXV develop properly.

5) Hanamura Yosuke / Persona 4

This awkward boy is a ball of contradictions but I absolutely love him. In a japanese setting, he is so real and relatable. All the cringe and jealousness and loyalty, possibly trying to be comfortable with himself as a person with his insecurities, this boy is just such a character that reminded me of my own awkward days, not that I am not a cringe mess still now. His character develop throughout is solid and believable for me.

6) Yugi Mutou / YGO

Everyone is there for Atem or Kaiba but I just love the original Yugi. Adorable and fearless and capable, his character development from the start, to understanding Atem and becoming his own person and dualist was wonderful. Think it was the manga and the final arc that sealed it for me. He was epic in Darkside and I had zero regrets watching it on the big screen.

7) Shang Qinghua / Scum Villian Self Saving System

The ultimate mess. A writer who fucked himself over with his own plot, lore and characters after transmigrating into his work. Not to mention his love for his side character that was his own indulgent character. Peak clownery. He is the writer and artist in all of us I can love and relate.

8) Yokozawa Takafumi / Sekai-ichi Hatsukoi

Like many people, Sekai-ichi and Junjou is one of those first series you read when entering a BL genre.I was avoiding anime and fandoms when I suddenly out of boredom fond myself to heck with it, watched and fell into the genre.Next thing I knew I was binging online novels of this guy who was heartbroken and rejected by his one sided love and found himself getting closer with a colleague in another department and his daughter. Him cooking, caring for the daughter and sharing a cat and meeting their family, while keeping professionalism at work at the publishing company. Quality content.

I am just weak to men being domestic okay?!

9) Qiao Yifan / The King’s Avatar

I only read this novel for him.Sweet baby boy who tried so hard to prove himself in a champion E-sports team.Yet he gets left behind and ultimately finds his place with an upcoming team with a restart of his young career. Precious, lovable and always portrayed as ‘white mochi but black sesame filling inside’, 白切黑. Very Sweet but full of life and adorable. He probably is the only reason I have not yeeted out my chinese tumblr app called lofter yet.

10) Heather Mason / Silent Hill 3

Silent Hill is another series from my childhood especially its soundtrack. SH1-4 especially. So I need include someone from the series. Although my personal favourite was Silent Hill 2 hands down.However, here is another badass and no nonsense female character with good development if you followed SH1. Her behaviours and mannerisms in a horror game are refreshing and you hardly find it again these days. Love her. Don’t have 10 friends to tag and be a annoying panda, so here! :D Thank you for letting me play!

[kemvee]

Dear Messy Crew

And in particular the person and or persons responsible for this latest mess. No names needed, you know who you are.

We get it.

You like our content. In fact you love it so much you want to see more but are scared to tell us via the usual methods. 

I understand! Tumblr can be daunting. It can be hard to approach your favourite content creators directly. So I guess you’ve decided to go down the reverse psychology approach?

I mean it’s working. Every time you attack a content creator for making smut the fandom responds by making more smut right? Way to go!

That’s cool, you do you I guess. I’m sorry you are surrounded by friends and or parents who forbid you from expressing your sexuality freely. I hope that with time and maturity you see why this method, although is having the desired impact, is having knock on effects that you might not be fully aware of...Is impacting those that you may call friends.

Let me explain. To you and those supporting this/these individual(s).

You complain about your OCs not getting enough attention, or your notes going down and don’t stop to think why.

I can tell you with 100% certainty why and skin tone has nothing to do with it. Nor is it because our art or writing is in anyway better than yours. I can say with confidence I’m not half the artist some of you are.

So why then? 

It’s because you have in the past and continue to (see today's nonsense) behave like absolute cunts.

You boast about sending anon hate ( @themessaccural​ has the actual screenshots of this) but instead of rightfully correcting the individual you double down. Conceal, lie to cover your tracks and praise yourselves and brilliant intelligence for it. 10/10 top clownery.

You defend disgusting misogynistic, ageist and abelist ‘jokes’ as being “ahh it’s just a child.” But cry murder the moment the fandom has a laugh about your fave fucking on a desk.

If someone plays with said ‘fave’ the wrong way you lie, complain in call-outs, vague post, make insidious insinuations about race and are generally up in arms about a FICTIONAL CIS-HET WHITE MAN.

But the moment there are documented rape threats within the fandom... not a peep. Where was your outrage then.

Your silence is deafening.

And that lovely friends is why your notes are going down. Why every time you call someone out they gain hundreds of new followers and why you continue to circle jerk away in your ever shrinking bubble of toxicity.

And as for the smut coven. Look i’m sorry you can’t join our little club. You don’t need to be jealous it isn’t open to anyone (even the wonderful writers who you admire so much.)

But if you want you can read our story here and in case there is any doubt i have updated my banner accordingly.

Love to you all xxx

[protectwoc]

why all reylos are racist

y’all can go ahead and cancel me now because some of you are not going to like what i have to say and i am completely okay with that.

this recent gq interview with john boyega has incensed me. hearing all the things he went through, from disney and from “fans” and with no support from anyone… i’m livid. sometimes when i think about it for too long i start shaking, i’m so furious. and the response from the reylo fandom has infuriated me to a degree i honestly didn’t know was possible.

some of you may have seen my recent tumblr rampage. it’s reylo bullying hours here on my blog, and i’m not sorry either. one person threatened to post screenshots of my comments, which like… okay? i know what the fuck i said, it wasn’t that long ago. in fact i was going to include the screenshots in this post right here, but they blocked me before i had the chance. sorry. i’m sure somebody has them. anyway…

over the past two days in the star wars fandom we have seen something unprecedented: an outpouring of support for john boyega. both reylos and anti-reylos have joined forces to voice support for john in the wake of the gq interview (and the blm protests, let’s be real, some of y’all would not have given half a fuck if it wasn’t suddenly cool to be antiracist). and this showing of unity is one of the most rage-inducing things i’ve ever seen in a fandom (which is saying something; i have seen some shit).

reylo fandom, full offense intended, but where the fuck do you get off? you’re supporting john now? where was this support when tfa came out and you couldn’t stand the thought of him next to your white-girl-self-insert? where was it when tlj came out and your boy ryan completely sidelined him? where was it earlier this fucking year when y’all twisted a harmless joke (like yall haven’t spent years writing reylo-throne-room-sex-meta BULLSHIT) and ignored the vile racist shit coming from your own fav’s mouth? but you’re supporting him now? now that being antiracist is trendy? fuck outta here with that bullshit.

your fandom is the reason for the vast majority of the absolutely subhuman treatment john has endured over the last few years. your fandom influenced ryan (yes i know what his name is) to write tlj the way he did, you have behaved indefensibly here on tumblr.hell writing and drawing and fantasizing about all sorts of racist bullshit, and y’all have STAYED in his twitter mentions spewing hatred seven ways to sunday. but NOW, without a shred of self-reflection, you’re supporting him? now his experiences are valid?

the way that your fandom refuses to take accountability for its actions makes me see red. y’all stay on some “not all reylos” nonsense and i am SICK OF IT. i’m only gonna say this once, and i want you to hear me: you cannot be a reylo and be “antiracist”. you cannot participate in a fandom that has behaved the way yours has and say “blm, uwu acab.” you can’t. like do you think black people are dumb? that we can’t see right through you? we can.

“but rae,” i hear you whining. “you’re gonna say just because i like two characters together i’m a racist?” and of course not. that would be ludicrous. i think just because you knowingly engage and participate in a fandom that has racism encoded in its dna, you’re a racist. i think because y’all are in bed with racist harassers, racist trolls, and racist content creators, you’re a racist. that’s what the fuck i think. y’all lost the right to “it’s just a ship” me the instant you dragged john boyega into this.

here’s an example: i watched tfa about three days after it came out. i watched the first half, saw the obvious relationship set up between finn and rey, and thought, “aw, cute.” then i watched kylo and rey fight, watch him offer to teach her, and thought, “... interesting.”

when i got home i checked tumblr for finnrey content, saw the outpouring of love from black fans, all the cute fanart and fics blooming, and smiled. then, slowly, guiltily, i searched “reylo.”

BOOM. racism. the things i saw in the tag that night are tattooed on my brain. reylos rejoicing about the obvious rey/kyle pairing because “sw would never put her with that monkey finn”. calling him an “oaf”, “useless”, “bumbling”, “stupid”. reylos joking about how “when they talked about the Dark side, [they] didn’t think they meant that kind of dark.” “woke” reylos pretending to ship stormpilot in an obvious ploy to get finn away from kylo. and in between all of that, cute ship art. fun fics. talented gif makers. and nobody saying shit about the reprehensible behavior going on in their tag.

reylo is built on a foundation of racism. from that first week, racism has been woven into the fabric of your fandom, and it’s been going unchecked. and i don’t mean calling out other reylos. that’s not enough. i mean taking actual steps. y’all have been sitting in a cesspool of racism for five years, and its time for you to get the fuck out or shut the fuck up about being an “ally”. y’all need to leave this fandom.

don’t agree? here’s another story. in 2017, when i still watched supergirl (before i grew taste) i shipped karamel. for those of you who don’t know, karamel is the ship of kara zor-el (supergirl) and mon-el, her second love interest. when supergirl was moved to the cw for its second season, the decision was made to abruptly end her romance with jimmy olsen, played by mecahd brooks (a black man) and replace him with mon-el, played by chris wood, a white man, who was revealed to be, among other things, an alien slaveowner, as well as a playboy and all-around terrible person. and i shipped them. look, i’m not defending myself, but i never really bought the chemistry between jimmy and kara. even though mon-el’s introduction and the way that they carelessly disregarded kara’s feelings for jimmy made me uncomfortable, i thought the way melissa played her attraction to chris wood was more believable (and again, i’m not defending myself, but they are now married so it’s not like i was wrong). so i shipped them. simple as that, right?

well, no. not really. because the inherent racism in the way the writers wrote out her admittedly sweet romance with a black man in favor of a white slaveowner jerk kept bothering me. and finally i decided that it made me too uncomfortable to participate in. i never really reblogged any karamel fandom stuff, but i completely divorced myself from the fandom. i stopped reading karamel fic, and i switched to reblogging exclusively jimmy/kara content until the fandom died out/i stopped watching. i made a choice that real life racism is more important to me than a fucking fandom or a ship, and then i acted accordingly. simple as that.

and i’m not saying you have to stop liking the reylo dynamic. i still like the chemistry between kara and mon-el. i’ve shipped problematic ships before (bamon comes to mind) and i don’t think there’s anything wrong with that (to a point). but there’s a difference between liking a ship dynamic and engaging and contributing to a fan culture of racism. you have to stop participating in the fandom. y’all are in bed with people indistinguishable from confederate-flag-waving-all-lives-matter-touting racists and you don’t feel the need to get out of that environment? there comes a certain point where you have to decide if fandom bullshit is more important to you than fighting racism, and unfortunately, reylos have chosen wrong. that, ladies and gentlemen, is why all reylos are racist, regardless of what they say. roll credits.

except i have more to say, so i’m gonna say it. first of all, i’m not trying to hold myself up as some kind of paragon of virtue. i’m not holier-than-thou because all my ships are “woke” or whatever. chemistry is subjective, and we’re all going to be attracted to different ship dynamics, and there’s nothing wrong with that in theory. what matters is the execution. i finally had to say one day, “you know, this ship and the racist baggage it carries is actually less important to me than battling systemic racism on every level, including the fandom level”. y’all thought being antiracist was gonna be easy? that you wouldn’t have to make some actual changes, to make some actual sacrifices? sorry not sorry to disappoint. and if i, a normal-ass person with flaws and problematic thinking that i’m still dealing with and the whole ine yards, can make that decision, then other people should be required to as well.

(what really irks me is that the karamel fandom wasn’t even really that bad! i definitely could have gotten away with being a karamel stan in 2017. thankfully the supercat and supercorp shippers were doing the lord’s work and bullying them into submission (don’t think i’m letting y’all off the hook either, y’all have got some racism to deal with as well but that’s an essay for another day) but like most of the racism happened at the writing level; the fandom itself wasn’t engaging in racist clownery on the regular. but like the reylos are. y’all see racist bullshit coming from your neighbor, fav fic writer, artist, gif maker, whatever, and don’t say shit? don’t feel the need to distance yourself from them? gtfoh.)

i made this argument earlier when i was on my rampage (which i’m still on btw so don’t clown in my inbox, you will get your shit rocked) but i’m going to make it again because i feel like its important to note. when i pointed out that existing in the reylo fandom while you are aware of its racism makes you complicit in that racism, a white reylo told me earlier that (paraphrasing, my memory’s not as good as it used to be and i did mention that they’d blocked me) “you don’t solve a problem like systemic racism by ignoring it. leaving the fandom would be allowing it to happen.” when i pointed out that that’s police officer rhetoric almost verbatim, she (a white reylo) admonished me (a black woman) not to compare police brutality to a “ship war.” lmao.

look, clearly y’all need a refresher on what “systemic” means. it means, quite simply, that there are systems, large and small, allow for racism to exist, and it also means that allowing for racism to exist on the small scale means expecting it on a large one. like you think police officers spring fully formed from the head with racist ideals already ingrained? no! they learn it and learn to justify it with “well just because my friend made a racist joke doesn’t make me a racist” and “just because i laughed at my friend’s using a racist term in my video game doesn’t make me a racist” and “just because my friend is a racist doesn’t mean i’m a racist” and then we have people watching their coworkers kneel on a man’s back for 8 minutes with no remorse. i’m not gonna solve police brutality by fighting reylos on tumblr, but fandom racism is real racism with consequences on our world, and i don’t tolerate ANY type of racism. and the fact that you are so willing to not just tolerate it but justify it should say something to you.

and not all reylos are like this. similar to cops, good reylos don’t last. i have seen people grow so disgusted by the racism in the reylo fandom that they publicly turned their backs on it, and those reylos i respect. you’ve heard of “the only good cop is an ex-cop” well get ready for “the only good reylo is an ex-reylo”.

(and also like far be it from me to justify a cop but one could at least say they have their livelihoods to think about (not like they couldn’t just pick a nonmurderous profession but i digress) but you reylos can’t even choose between taking a stance against the hateful and unjustified bullying of a man who had the audacity to… get a job (?)... over a ship? come on now.)

the point of all this is, for all their posturing about “being antiracist” and “fuck 12” and “support john boyega”, reylos have decided that a relationship between two fictional people is more important than all the black and brown people who are hurt by that decision and the consequences of that decision. and before y’all pull some “b-but there are POC reylos!” (stop fucking using poc as an adjective, its a noun, it stands for person of color, please use it as such) internalized racism is a thing. busting out your token “reylo of color” (see how easy that was?) is not going to change my mind. all reylos are complicit in the racism of their peers, and being complicit makes you culpable. full stop.

and that is why the public support of john boyega from the reylo fandom has me seeing red. renounce your fandom or keep that man’s name out of your mouth. anyway, this was long and ranty and entirely stream-of-consciousness and i’m refusing to edit it so it’s probably completely incomprehensible to anyone besides me but if you made it this far thanks for reading ig. all reylos are racist, blm, fuck 12, acab, stan john boyega, don’t clown in my inbox unless you’re coming to bully me for being a karamel shipper, which i deserve (or do, i couldn’t give less of a fuck). good night.

[misterbitches]

i had the misfortune of finally watching/getting through what happened in whatever episode where he gets raped so im gonna talk about it and tag it cos that's what a bitch fuckin feels like, got it? i do what i want aint no limit bad ass bitch aint never been timid. woopsie realized i got the nicknames confused oh well lmao

it's just logistically and plot wise like there's literal plot holes in this and i'm taking the production and set-up into account along with the actual content and development. im an ARTIST OKAY im jk i mean i am and i am pretentious and terrible but look. i didnt get that degree and im not in a house worth of debt for nothing ok. it's called writing on tumblr about my grievances of shows that dont matter and do not respect me as a fat black american woman either so it is my fault yet here i am.

anyway it was worse than i imagined and their talk after (with chengren) was even worse. that's what i mean about making the lines their own (the actors) bc teng teng sounded like a straight up motherfucking moron and im like

bECAUSE IT'S HIM EVEN THO IM LIKE WHAT THE FUCK DID U JUST SAY U STUPID BITCH? but then it's like awwww and they also care about his wellbeing obviously??? but no? but it's like ok still teng teng said it even if it's stupid because he is a character and charles puts that forth. the people that fail the most to do that are xing si's family but that's not the actors fault because it's the literal material. you're like wait what but you just said...?

so i know they have no script editors i guess i think i find this season ACTUALLY fascinating because of just how egregious it is. i also went back and watched history: obsessed which i thought i liked because of their chemistry even though god the production....but i tried rewatching it and i was like wow this is worse than i remembered and the production issues were even worse because some of the music was SO LOUD AND BAD HOLY FUCK and their whole rship isssssss a sight to behold lmao

so man i guess it really is the power of anson/charles. which is good cos we love to see it...sort of but also a lot.

i honestly....because i've been able to pay attn more to the aftermath of the rape going back and putting it into more context and focusing (just barely lmao) is hm even worse. the inconsistencies are insane. it's not even just about the act but the writers have zero idea where they are going because they have no interest in exploring it. but the way in which it happens is like fascinating. yong jie literally thinks he owns xing si and it doesn't matter if he was kissing him or not or asked for a kiss on the lips (which dude what the fuck? i'll get to that) because he was plied with "extremely strong drinks" and his mom knew about it....which girl congrats you're an accomplice to the rape of your son by your other son?

but first of all...the kissing thing. in what fucking world would he (xing si) want that unless he thought he (yong jie) was someone else. i can't say their attraction is evident because we are being lead by this team to think so; they create this false sense of sensuality already so to me that signifies that they never intended for them to have a bond as brothers. it just feels cheap and fucking lazy (which it is.) even if he did, which doesn't make sense considering the context THEY CONSTRUCTED, it wouldn't matter because he was so fucking drunk which.... at that point nothing is fun, you feel sick, who wants sex like that? does he not have whiskey dick? did they have a condom? was it not painful for him considering? even if this was something to easily get over like was the dick good? it couldn't have been. and then, on top of that, there's the fact that you can change your mind or whatever but also that people do get aroused in these situations bc it is human nature (that's if they can literally get aroused which if the drinks were allegedly sooooo strong that nigga would be out so....again like even practically here it doesnt add up. have these people ever been drunk? if not, write what you know girl. cos sometimes it's like i think some of u r trying to be cool when u dont have 2 b lmao)

so yong jie coming on to him previously may be seen as like push-and-pull but here's the thing. right after it happens (the rape and it's rape so call it that you'll be okay) xing si gets up and goes home and is terrified and upset. he acts like what we have seen or even felt after a violation. he's scared, clutching his bag, it's like...you know...decently coming off as truly distressing (the actor isn't bad at all and i like that he's dark. i just massively hate this for him but hey at least he can show some chops.) like honestly man that fucking sucks and hurts to see. if we've been there we feel it. or part of it is realizing belatedly what happened. a lot of times that drop in your stomach is the worst.

but somehow for some reason, to which i cannot understand, the three of them begin to talk as if xing si pressured him? which maybe i missed something and that is possible—dont feel like going back to look—but that also made no sense. like what kind of false memory is this? why would he think he wasn't willing? and if he thought yong jie wasn't and that he pressured him how does he remember like...anything about the sex?!?!??!? besides waking up and being with him. like i guess he felt yong jie's MASSIVE DONG imprint but ??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!? MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!!!!!

god then the logic of the top/bottom thing is like i said i wasnt going to get into it but it's actually really funny. this whole thing was hilarious. honestly because I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT MEANS. he could have totally raped him in that way but how did you get to this CONCLUSION FROM THAT??????? BY YOUR LOGIC THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS? IF HE IS THE BOTTOM AND PENETRATION IS THE ONLY FORM OF TRUE CONSUMMATION AND RAPE BECAUSE APPARENTLY, BASED ON ANATOMY, IF YOU HAVE A DICK IN UR BUTT UR A GIRL THEN HOW. DOES. THIS. MAKE. SENSE. AND THEN

AND THEN

AND THEN

AND THEN

this whole stupid conversation happens so we get to the conclusion that xing si violated him ok cool but that means that something is wrong. that is the CONCLUSION WE CAME TO A SECOND AGO?

also the other rapist is a villain and muren isn't in love with him so, once again, you're breaking the rules of your own world about acceptability which is why most of this is absolutely mind bogggglinG that iit's fuckign comical. like i actually when i can stomach it start laughing or my jaw is slack because it's so insulting as a viewer because there is like 0 logical followthrough.

because whatshisface barges in, kisses him in front of his friends without permission, then says whether you were willing or not which is hm. at that point how u gonna change that around but let's not bother with logic here. i am simply here to point out how this makes no sense according to the rules they set up even outside of the basic rule of life which is hm dont rape people maybe.

so now we know xing si was raped, they believe he was raped, he himself believes he was raped, and whatshisface literally says he doesn't care even if he was willing (he wasn't) so he admits to rape. i don't believe in the police and i hate them (BL industry needs the cops but dont get me down that road) but no one...thought to go?

because according to history 4 logic nothing matters so im sure if he went to the police you could handwave the homophobia since there's no actual context for anything besides their whimsy. but they dont want to do that because they aren't interested in an arc of growth; redemption isn't possible unless he is removed from the family but again no work on thinking this through or thinking about the victim's feelings. because gay sex? who fucking knows. supposedly progressive taiwanese writers of gay shit (like how supposedly progressive the world is. as in it is not and this behavior is the norm and bl perpetuates that) can't think of transformative justice?

and then they gave bad advice so we wont acknowledge that because teng teng doing anything wrong/stupid is frequent but hurts me and also that storyline is not real so i pretend they are not there outside of this post

so all of this is just straihgt up clownery now because it's fucking absurd like logically, practically, human-wise. the kissing thing is inconsequential but it was such a lazy cheap way out lmao cos they really wanted it to seem consensual but that's not how it works. on top of that their attraction makes no sense because whatshisface is just there. he is just there. he's nothing and no one so the sentiments are even more empty and on top of that he doesnt listen to a single request fucking obviously because the basis of their relationship is fucking rape so fucking listening and respecting his partner is not on his list of fucking priorities. he's literally so fucking annoying even without being a rapist it's like someone please beat his ass.

and then after all of that you want us to feel bad? with your horrible writing, poorly misplaced music, stupid costumes (those fucking SHOES THEY ARE HIDEOUS, AND MOST OF THIER CLOTHES DO NOT FIT IT'S LIKE WHY), questionable fucking editing. we're supposed to wnat them together? this sounds literally fucking crazy but bear with me lmao even with the rape they could at least have SOMETHING i mean like i cant believe im fucking saaying this. but like in addicted heroin which is fuckin tragic and awful at least there's a MODICUM of interest but honestly that show s a fucknig drag. idk they lookd good together? here we have 0. nothing. and it doesnt motivate. watching obsessed again i can see why i liked it in the beginning bc they have good chemistry but the acting and production adn like everything about it plus the rape-y vibes it's just too much. you need to pick one thing so if you're going to be a shit writer at least supplement it with something. this thing is nothing.

and even more nonsensical and what boggles my mind frankly out of all this is the mother's involvement and the father's final response. there are NO consequences? theyre all happy?

ok so lets go through this:

1. 2 boys grow up 2gether, one of the boys is fucking psycho, the mother knows but does nothing??????????????

2. one of the sons moves out so his father doesn't get a hint that's he's fucking gay. ok fine. he has 2 best friends, a job, an apt. he is fine.

3. aforementioned brother is obsessed with him for SOME REASON besides being crazy?

3.5 no one has done anything during him growing up to help him not be crazy?

4. mom says to husband who is their father also just in case we forget "im afraid he will lose his humanity"

4.5 again, do nothing. 0. just like oh man hes crazy. guess that's just our son ;)

4. who cares. plies him with alcohol purposefully to rape him. not even dubious (even though dubious is fucked and not okay or is just not. fucking real. these shows are contextless when they want to be or even movies or whatever so it's like largely not up to the task to understand complexity in human rships and then oversimplifies it constantly because that's what we do IRL. but people have fucking feelings you know and we realize when things don't feel good or right to us either very quickly after or having to process it. and once you're eyes are opened you may feel as something was fucking ripped away from you. for the modc couple this would be a very logical conclusion for the high schooler the thirty year old dated but again logic or feelings are up to their whimsy. no one cares bc everything can be counted as dubious so honestly it's a fucking stupid fucking topic like again why are we litigating what is and isnt consent when you could just like idk. read cues? consent? wait? not be a freak? like we all know what is proper human shit so even if we are watching this uncritically which u cant bc it's glaring and stupid it's just even more dumb) so it was honestly a rape plot like he literally planned it soooooooooo??!?!

5. aftermath of rape the victim is like literally fucking bereft and confused. and a rape victim. like that's what they are insinuating and what also he is to be clear.

6. boy tells him "idc if i raped u i luv u lmao"

7. mom ENCOURAGED THE BOY to get him drunk because her other son was too nice? she encouraged her adult son to rape her adult step-son (but her real son because she repeatedly says you are my son and the dad does too THEY GREW UP TOGETHER WHEN THE KID WAS IN AN IMPRESSIONABLE STATE) so THIS ALSO MAKES EVEN LESS MOTHERFUCKING SENSE

8. everyone finds out about his rape and he isnt mortified he's just concerned about himself being gay to his dad?????? except it's not really about his gayness bc now it's about his sudden love for his rapist brother? which? hm ok. understandable the dad is like wow i do not think i like this

9. dad knows all of it is fucked up, everyone does, knows the mother fucked up, knows he fucked up. doesnt like it because he is normal. so we know this is terrible? ok great so—

10. father says "i can't accept this...but i'm willing to give you my blessing" ok see here's the thing. when you write you have to think about the things you are putting on the page and what you have written previously. this quite literally made no sense how the fuck are you going to not accept them but give them your blessing? does this crew know what the fuck words are? i'm assuming they went to some sort of school to obtain jobs here bc there cannot be natural talent or experience. maybe most of them are rich. fuck i do not know but this also makes no sense. just the literal logic of it it's like fucking insane the whiplash.

10.5 apparently this father is also shitty. everyone here sucks and they are basically begging me to think xing si is a fucking idiot so i dont even want to look at him if he is an object he doesnt matter so now i want to kick him. thanks a lot you made the victim get absolutely fucking nothing

they KEEP PUSHING the brother thing it is so insane and it's liek GUYS WE GET IT WE UNDERSTAND THEYRE "RELATED" BUT NOT RELATED SO IT'S OK HE WAS "RAPED" BUT NOT RAPED but you're GOING BACK ON YOUR OWN RULES!!!!!!!!!! WE GET THAT THEY ARE BROTHERS!!! WE'RE OVER IT NOW BUT WHAT IS THIS WHEN WE ALREADY ESTABLISHED SOMETHING? I AM CONFUSION? they flip flop between my son, my brother my actual brother, and cannot fucking distinguish between love for your father and love for your romantic partner? so to me what i see is that the father wants to fuck the son. that's the conclusion i am garnering now considering nothing matters and his love for his "brother" is the same as his love for his dad lmao. they couldnt even do that in a way that made sense. like damn anybody can get anything. these ppl who are doing this have to be fucking rich and/or have connections.

also this guy sounds literally like a textbook abuser like he says constantly "im the best choice" is a rapist is awful holds capital (oh hees "saving" smh ur trapping her!!!!! RETIRE!!!!) also wears terrible shoes so i am like ur alllllllllLLLLL FUCKING CRAZY ur all literally crazy and then they are trying to set rules and boundaries in their fucking house like WHY ARE THEY LIVING TOGETHER EVEN? even tho oh my god they know he raped him and for some reason they are both allowing to live in the house but they dont want them to have sex??!?!?!??!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?! i get that this is their house but this is like at this point these ppl are writing anything and now whatshisface is acting like a 2 yr old again and we are supposed to find this cute? like it makes 0 sense why do u fucking care u literally encouraged ur son to rape him so they cant have consensual sex under your nose now and have to wait four years? this is coming from the son who couldnt wait until someone was sober enough to realize hes fucking psychotic and should be killed also the fact that they act like being 20 means u have no fucking brain like this kid is in med school supposedly how do we know like hes a liar and an idiot so. also wait do they mean undergrad? how are you in med school at 20? is he a genius? girl i dont care lmao i guess i missed that but it's not like it matters so whatever

even if we ignore the stupidity of the literal acts, the grossness of the content, the absolute inability to write coherently or even remotely in a way where we would even want to see them together which is like....u set it up at the beginning so he punches "the love his life's best friend" also holy fuck im sorry remember when he punches muren because xing si got too drunk. so i'm guessing whatshisface is that good of a bartender that he makes super strong drinks and gets xing si drunk but his alcohol is magical therefore it doesn't make him sick. his alcohol is the type that gets you drunk but somehow doesnt get to your liver even though that's how we get drunk but dont ask guys he's only in med school and a bartender so i think he knows best (seriously have the main writers had a day of fun in their lives? have they ever been drunk? are they toddlers? drunk babies could probably do better tho.) i get that he was also jealous but if this kid is SOOOOOO genius (he understands social cues lmao he has the cpacity to project onto his victim so im like miss me with the not understanding shit. go to a fucking therapist like seriously did no one care abt this kid? his mother thinks he's like almost a goddamn murderer. how is she not dead? how are they all not dead? how do any of them know how to drive with this type of brain?) then he would understand that they are very clearly friends since he watched them part in a very platonic way and since he apparently knows what love is cos he thinks....he can....make someone fall in love with him bc he loves them? again, i wouldnt know hes 20 and taiwanese and im 29 and black from AMERICA so im WESTERN* so you know. different life experiences i guess XD

even if we do mental gymnastics to get it to a place where they "had sex" and he didnt rape him there's 0 ZERO ZERO ZERO ZERO ties to the literal story they wrote and the rules they set up. i'm going ot assume they dont know wtf theyre doing and i know for a fact we all care more about their dumb show than they do but it's actually startling how piss poor this is it's like idek what to compare it to. the continuity is awful awful awful they needed a script supervisor majorly and they are making bank and are going to make fucking bank fof this shit. and itll just continue like that until IRL material changes and that's facilitated by these very same groups they choose to profit off of and exploit by propelling it into the mainstream and litigating homosexuality through capitalism. and i'm being specific with homosexuality. i dont want a GL market like at all and i know why we wouldnt have it either and that has everything to do with the nature of BL, capitalism, coercion, and the fanbase being young girls and women. i don't think in this day and age we can safely say all the fans are straight; i'm sure a majority but many women or people on the gender spectrum and sexuality spectrum also consume it. frankly, it's possible the women who write it could be or something too. i dont rly believe any1 is str8 lmao but im just saying it's not out of the realm of possibility. but it isnt about that at all. that's why we wont see "good" female characters (like well written) often that's why we won't see trans women or kathoeys or fat people or black asians in it. a lot of it is is a choice we participate in whatever. but holy fuck dude u could at least respect the audience's fucking intelligence. i'm talking about everything i think that is encapsulated in the project but it's even more jarring and worse because it's so insanely inconsistent and poorly done. like how we jump from one conclusion to another is wild to me. even their first "night together" and he wakes up im like girl....u no ur ass felt it. this nigga broke into his house and was like "im gonna have u" like it's getting weird

just make xing si suffer offscreen not us the stupidity is staggering, mind blowing, hilarious.

how wong kar wai, a straight man from HK (or at least married to a woman), or barry jenkins, a striahgt black man, write/do stories well about people they wouldnt knw about their experiences directly is....well thinking like using their brains and like knowing all types of people? the man who co-wrote moonlight is a hOMOSEXUAL, leslie cheung was fucking gay or queer (and he committed suicide and that's important also RIP homie) both are hailed as queer cinema like WKW wanted to do something else and invested time into it, changed the way he played around with structure, moved away from his crime oriented stuff. he THOUGHT about it and this film is about their reality. it's a harsh film, idk how i feel about it (but my fav movies of his are the crime ones or the messy ones where it's clear he didnt write a script lmao fallen angels is one of my fav movies its' abt assassins kinda) but i know it means something. and he didnt like what HK had previously wasnt enough. it is not the only cinema that should be shown since it's such a stark reality and depressing but it is a real depiction so we can have all sorts of stuff. no this isnt WKW level or moonlight level but i know for a fact these people think they are doing something because artists always do i say this as one and someone who is equally as useless. you're making a statement.

i also hate the westerner component of peoples analyses. first of all dont do cultural relativism. we can critique and respect. but second of all how are we going to keep saying "dont put western ideals on this" when that is what is happening anyway because that's part and parcel for soft power and capitalism. how about taiwan's history with the KMT? what about the regimes young people fought about? aided by US imperialism which permeates through society and affects material conditions, views, democracy, identity and that goes into culture and media. hm? what about that? is that reality too fucking western for people? that we are doing the same thing again now? is that okay to talk about or is that only on your time?

then there's the argument that this is just entertainment. yea no shit but the thing is if we r gonna talk about marginalized groups and watch bc of marginalized groups and then be expected to identify then i dont see why i cant put this in context. even if it wasnt fucking serious we'd still judge it. but it's so pompous and again like i wouldnt say EYE think it's art but it is "art" in the literal sense and no self respecting artist would ever go "man this means nothing." of course im not sure if they do respect themselves so hey but u cant just go oh man it's entertainment when it literally rests on the fact that HOMOS are MARGINALIZED. it literally rests on the fact that WOMEN ARE OBJECTS. you either want progress or you dont. i dont understand being so demanding but not beign specific in the demands and not trying to use your brain. if you dont want to use your brain don't. but if you are looking , engaging, and keep making these arguments or telling ppl it doesnt matter whilst complaining about how much others care is hypocritical at best, willfully obtuse at worst. both bad. :)

(also all this + another thing; it is insulting to have this like wedding happen based off of this stupid relationship when people fought so hard and had to push it. now they can use the material conditions to their advantage but it's so ridiculous. also because there is difficulty still in getting married in taiwan i'm honestly like....the boldness of the writers...)

[zappho]

Some Meta on Murdock and mental illness

Generally speakig, The A-Team is a dumbass, light-hearted comedy with action on the same level as youtube poop videos. Obviously there isn’t alot of depth to be found here. The show had tons of different writers, all with their own take on Murdock and none of them offer any clear info or a proper backstory for the character. It’s basically up to the audience to fill in the blanks and that’s exactly what I’m gonna do by overanalyzing the mess that is the show’s canon.

The question of whether Murdock is ‘‘‘really crazy or just faking’‘’ has been around for over 30 years, but I’m gonna argue that he’s both.

When Kelly visits Murdock in the psychiatric hospital and confronts him about why he’s living there in the first place he gets instantly uncomfortable.

He really didn’t want her to ask, it’s why he’s been avoiding her. Joking about how you’re hashtag crazy™ is easy; having to admit that you’ve been institutionalized for over 10 years because you have legitimate problems is much harder. (Sure, the VA also gives him a convenient cover from the military police, but if that was the only reason for him to stay he wouldn’t react to Kelly’s question in this way). “It’s a long story”, is all he says. There are clearly some painful memories here that he’d rather not delve into.

He’d have to explain how he got committed in the first place. We know that after the gang was arrested for war crimes in ‘71, Murdock was still serving as a pilot in ‘72. They never clarified when and how Murdock was sent home, but i’m guessing without his only friends around and it being, you know...war, his mental health eventually deteriorated until he received a medical discharge straight into the VA hospital.

After Murdock gets wrongly released in season 1, instead of his friends being worried about his supposed cover getting blown they just shrug it off and go ‘Oh well!’ (This could all be due to the show’s inconsistent writing, but you know)

No longer being an inpatient would finally allow Murdock to be employed as a pilot again (his #1 passion), and yet he seems really disheartened about the situation. Even though the hospital gives him no privacy, the staff barely respects him and he spends most of his time there by himself, he still prefers to stay.

For a character who’s allegedly cheery comic relief, he sure gets his feelings hurt alot, mainly when dealing with other people’s ableism towards him. B.A. and Face are obviously just palling around, just guys bein’ dudes, they don’t want to hurt Murdock for real, they probably don’t realize how sensitive Murdock is about the subject. Usually he plays along or shrugs it off, but sometimes he gets genuinely upset. In the first half of In Plane Sight he’s so fed up with it he tries to ‘‘act normal’‘ until #Woke #Queen Hannibal reassures him that they love him the way he is.

PTSD was barely starting to become a diagnosis when the show first aired, but I think it’s fair to say he suffers from it. The pilot episode states that he has anxiety, paranoia and memory loss, so that checks out.

With PTSD you don’t just have to deal with flashbacks and nightmares, but also intrusive thoughts, images and memories about your trauma. Murdock copes with it by getting hyperfixated on a new activity or pretending he’s someone else. This is were alot of people will go ‘‘haha wow look how wacky and insane he is! He’s talking to his sock 😂’‘. But Murdock knows it’s all made up nonsense, he just needs his mind to focus on something else. What’s important here is that he never lets his coping mechanisms distract him when he’s flying, first of all he’s already focused and also he doesn’t wanna crash (lol). There’s a believability to his actions that’s missing in the 2010 reboot.

In the episode where the gang helps out the vietnamese cook from the POW camp where they’ve been tortured, Murdock tries to distract himself with some golfballs. He soon starts projecting his trauma on them however.

I think this is the only time in the show where Hannibal tears up, so this scene is kinda significant. As the leader, he probably blames himself for getting his team captured and tortured, and seeing that Murdock is still so strongly affected by it gotta hurt. 

Compared to the rest of the gang, Murdock’s alot more fucked up over the war. There are subtle changes in his voice whenever he talks about it. In the ep about their old war buddy Ray, Face was reminiscing about how cool of a guy Ray was for borrowing him his helmet, Murdock’s memories meanwhile are much less upbeat. ‘My bird was the only one left in the sky’ he remembers while we see an image of a field filled with shot down helicopters. His experiences are bound to be different from the other three as a huey medevac pilot. Murdock did have one off-screen breakdown in the present timeline, after collecting every newspaper article about the upcoming execution of the team in Firing Line. Apparently it was bad enough that he had to be restrained. It’s been 10 years, so he’s recovering and getting better, but he’s still not all there yet.

Everyone knows Murdock’s just messing around when he’s being interrogated by the military about his connections to the team, but like what about when the military isn’t there; or NO ONE is. He often talks to himself or just puts weird shit in his mouth for no reason while nobody’s paying attention to him (eating leaves, paint, an entire raw egg, a frozen sandwich). Sometimes he’s just unhinged like that.

Another thing that’s brought up a few times in the show is his anxiety. Murdock’s often seen being generally tense, sweaty, uncomfortable or reflective in the background of a scene. (I have no idea if this was a deliberate acting choice but Dwight does have anxiety irl so who knows if that had anything to do with it, I mean who knowsssssss, i’m just observing)

He’s got a habit of fidgeting with his hands or touching his neck when he’s stressed out. Murdock also does it when he’s telling his psychiatrist Dr. Richter about his dreams “If you were me, wouldn’t you be terrified to put your head down?” he asks him.

Richter isn’t really paying attention though, because he’s so used to Murdock’s non-stop clownery, he can’t exactly tell when his patient decides to be honest about his feelings for once. He just replies ‘Well only if it was a bad dream’. Which really irritates Murdock because what other dreams besides bad would he have? So he derails the session by rambling some made up bullshit on purpose.

Richter knows that Murdock uses humor and fantasy to cope, but he’s obviously tired of Murdock’s cringe antics, he just wants to help him. But Murdock doesn’t like to open up and be confronted with his traumas again, he just wants to avoid talking about it all together. There are still parts of reality that Murdock’s not ready to deal with, or he wouldn’t always retreat into his fantasies.

Before he can continue messing around a helicopter passes by and Murdock freezes for a second. Richter assures him that the helicopter is real; Murdock nods and starts fidgeting with his hands again, seemingly in deep thought. We know from the season 4 finale that he hears the sound of rotor blades when he dissociates. He was definitely being sincere here.

After getting drugged by some military goons he has a few brief flashbacks (feat. cheesy 80′s neon filters): seeing the chopper fly away, getting stuck in a potted plant as if he was walking through the jungle, being surrounded by heavy smoke and sparks from the burning carpet).

Despite being the 2nd highest ranked team member, Murdock dislikes being in charge and gets severly distressed when anything goes wrong that he might even be slightly responsible for. Most notably is the episode where the owners of the diner get kidnapped after Murdock got knocked out by evil cowboys or hill billies or whatever they were. Instead of telling anyone what happened, he’s just lying on the floor, repeatedly calling himself a failure until the others show up.

Seems like Murdock gets startled more easily than the rest of the crew as well. We often see him flinch when guns go off; one time he literally wore fluffy ear muffs to a backalley shootout.

This short moment from Family Reunion always stood out to me. Face opens the van door a little too quickly and it takes Murdock so off-guard he has to take deep breaths to calm down.

Murdock sounds exhausted when he has to remind Face not to sneak up on him. Face also realizes he messed up, he just wanted to check up on Murdock and not trigger him on accident.

When it comes to portrayals of mental illness in fiction there’s obviously better representation out there than Murdock. But sometimes you just wanna see a mentally ill character have a good time instead of being miserable 24/7. And Murdock’s already got the worst behind him, he’s had therapy for years and friends who love him. I just think that’s refreshing to see, especially with a character who’s so kind and openly affectionate.

[cheryyori]

SK8TERBOY - Skaterboy!Yeosang/Soft!Reader Social Media AU ft. side pairing: Seonghwa/OC

Genre: Pure fluff (possible smut has yet to be determined)

A.N. Whoop, new update, not a lot of Yeosang bc Y/N is a bit of a mess rn. Also italics is Japanese. Also a bonus chapter about Seonghwa and Sumire’s date from the last two chapters will be coming soon bc I’m soft for them.

Chapter summary: It was supposed to be a nice evening between roommates/friends until Y/N gets an unknown text from what might be Yeosang and starts freaking out on what to do. Aka Y/N is still up to her usual clownery.

Taglist: @philosopher-of-fandoms @mangobee @mingiibabieee @yourbunny-xxii @angelichris-b97 @yeosatinyngz @kimtae-bae​

(let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!)

Masterlist.  prev.  next.

Chapter 4. You’re Pretty Cute

Once Y/N returned home, she dropped her bag onto the floor and kicked her shoes off before flopping face down onto the couch. A muffled loud groan left her lips as she recalled her clownery.

“Oh god, she’s finally lost it,” a voice mutters, followed by the sound of a slap to the shoulder. Yusung, Y/N thinks as she recognized the deep voice of his.

“Yusung, don’t be rude!” another says in a harsh whisper. Y/N knew that it was Suzaku who was berating the younger.

“What? It’s not our fault she’s an idiot,” Yusung said. Suzaku smacked his shoulder again, only this time harder than the last one, “Ouch, will you stop that, you bastard!”

“You know that said idiot can hear you, right?” Another chipped in. Junho had been sitting on the other couch, adjacent to the one Y/N flopped onto while scrolling on his phone for anything remotely interesting.

“I have such great friends,” Y/N huffs as she looked up to see the three boys. She could see Yusung stand tall (the bastard being the tallest out of all of them and using his height to make many short jokes at both her and Sumire’s expenses) besides Suzaku who had a concerned look on his face.

“Again, not our fault that you’re an idiot sometimes,” Yusung said once again. Suzaku elbowed him but used one hand to cover the small smile on his lips.

“This is bullying! I will not stand for such slander!” Y/N cried as she sat up, a pout on her lips as she glared at the boys. Junho remained unfazed by the whole exchange, ignoring his group of friends as usual. Yusung, on the other hand, stuck his tongue out at Y/N.

“You two are being loud, shut up!” A female groaned. Emerging from the kitchen, Sumire had a tired looked on her face. Her hair a mess as she walked into the living room, apparently she had been sleeping before the commotion.

“Sumi!” Y/N whined, “They’re bullying me again!” She said as she pointed to the boys, standing up as she went to Sumire’s arms. Sumire only sighed and placed a small pat on Y/N’s back in a weak attempt to comfort her.

“Sumi, you can’t blame us for Y/N’s own clownery!” Y/N heard the soft snort that escaped from Sumire’s lips and pulled away, staring at her in betrayal.

“Sorry,” there a small smile on her lips, “but it was kinda funny to read the whole thing,” Sumire explains. Y/N groaned as rest her head on her shoulder, wanting nothing more than to forget this moment.

“Don’t remind me,” Y/N whined, “I was so excited to see him again and thinking about what nonsense you three idiots were spamming in the chat that I totally spaced out and forgot to ask for his number!”

“Disappointed, but not surprised,” Junho mutters to himself but Y/N’s ears perked up at his words.

“Nam Junho! You are rude!” Y/N fumed. Junho merely shrugged and continued scrolling through his phone. Sumire sighed and decided that since she was up now, she might as well get started on dinner.

“I’m going to make dinner now, feel free to join me if you’re bored─no, not you Yusung!” She gave Yusung a pointed look as he started heading towards the kitchen, “Don’t think you’re still off the hook from the rice cooker incident last night.”

“Oh my god, it was an accident, how was supposed to know you plug the damn thing in?”

“How do you burn rice without having it plugged in?” She replied, raising a brow at him. Yusung opened his mouth before promptly closing it, not wanting to be judged more than he already was by his best/childhood friend.

“Fine. I’ll go play with Iroha, at least she’ll appreciate me!” He grumbled as he stalked over to the small ragamuffin kitten that was settled in the corner. “Iroha-chan! Come play with uncle Sungie!” He cooed as he picked up the small kitten and the toy that had caught her attention.

"I think I’m gonna be in my room for a bit,” Y/N said, “Today was quite eventful,” she mutters as she slowly dragged her feet to her room. Sumire almost felt bad for her friend. Almost, if she didn’t recall the texts she had with Seonghwa earlier. It will only be a matter of time when Yeosang will text Y/N.

“Alright, I’ll call you when dinner’s ready,” Y/N nodded and went inside her room, flopping onto her bed. Y/N closed her eyes, her mind constantly replaying her time with Yeosang and felt her cheeks heat up. Her heart suddenly picked up as she thought about him in general and let her thoughts wonder if he was dating anyone. Would he want to date her-

“AH! Y/N stop thinking like that!” She shrieked as she smacked her warm cheeks lightly again. “You don’t even know him! And you didn’t get his number! Maybe this is a sign that you’re going to be forever alone,” she scolded herself before letting out a dejected sigh.

It was then that her phone went off, Y/N figured that it might have been either one of the boys or Sumire and glanced over at the message before she let out a scream when she saw who texted her.

Meanwhile, in the living room/kitchen, everyone was doing their own thing to pass the time before dinner was ready when they heard Y/N’s voice coming from her room.

“What the fuck is going on?” Junho was the first to ask as he looked up from his phone. 

“So it’s begun,” Sumire muttered to herself as she ignored Y/N’s scream and continued to cook. Suddenly Y/N rushed out of her room and into the kitchen, her phone in hand as she held it out towards Sumire.

“H-he─” Y/N couldn’t even make the first words out as she slowly started talking nonsense. This ruckus caused all the boys to walk into the kitchen (surprisingly Yusung wasn’t kicked out this time) to figure out what the hell was going on with their roommate.

“What the hell is going on with you?” Yusung asked, carrying Iroha in his arms. The ragamuffin kitten was oblivious to what was happening around her as she started to paw at his fingers.

“I-I, he─!” Y/N continued to babble before Sumire shuts off the stove and went over to take her phone.

“Oh,” she says, “He texted her.”

“Who did?” Suzaku asked, going over to Sumire’s side as he peered over her right shoulder while Junho peered over her left side.

“Her skaterboy friend,” Sumire replied.

“I thought you said you two didn’t exchange numbers,” Junho asked with a raised brow.

“W-we didn’t,” Y/N said.

“Then how the hell did he get you number?” Junho continued, skeptical of the idea that this was really her skaterboy crush who was texting her.

“U-uh, I don’t know,” Y/N mutters.

“Hey, here’s a crazy idea,” Sumire started, “Why don’t you, you know, ask him,” she suggested, handing her phone back.

“B-but that’s scary,” Y/N mutters, thinking what if it some stranger or worse. It actually was Yeosang, how the heck was she going to text him?

“Can’t you do it for me, Sumi?” Y/N asked, batting her eyes at her wife.

“No,” Sumire replies, “besides, it’s not that hard it’s just a text, you can text him. Also take a deep breath before you do, you look like you’re going to pass out,” she told Y/N, who was looking rather pale at the moment.

“I think Y/N rather die than do that,” Yusung snorted.

“Shut up, Yusung, don’t make me hit you,” Sumire glares at her childhood friend, eyes narrowing at him.

“As if you can reach me,” The boy mutters. At this, Sumire kicked the back of his knees, causing him to fall onto them.

“Ah, thank you for continuing to brighten my day, Sumire,” Junho smiled brightly at the sight.

“Dammit, Junho, you bastard!” Yusung grumbles as he sets Iroha safely on the ground and rubs the back of his knees.

“Anyways,” Sumire continued, glancing back at Y/N, “Just text him, trust me, it’s not that hard.”

“O-okay,” Y/N said as she took a deep breath. Just a text, she told herself before going replying to the unknown number might or might not be Yeosang.

“Oh my fucking god, Y/N,” Yusung muttered over her shoulder, apparently reading the text she just sent to Yeosang.

“S-shut up, Yusuck!” Y/N exclaimed with a red face before reading Yeosang’s reply, turning away from them all.

“So? Did he say how he got your number?” Suzaku asked curiously.

“He said that his roommate Seonghwa gave it to him,” Y/N replied, causing the boys to have a surprised look.

“Seonghwa? Like Sumi’s Seonghwa, Seonghwa?” Yusung asked. At this Sumire went back to cooking dinner, missing the suspicious look Junho cast her way before turning back to the conversation at hand.

“Yeah, I guess I must have given Seonghwa my number and he passed it along to Yeosang when heard about our situation,” Y/N concluded, earning a quiet snort from Sumire.

“Huh, that’s kinda anti-climatic, I thought skaterboy started typing in random numbers until he got your number right,” Yusung pouted before cooing at a mewing Iroha. Junho gave Sumire another glance and hummed to himself.

“Well, at least you have a way to get in contact with him,” Suzaku said, “And the fact that he texted you first means he likes you!”

“Oh my god, Suzaku, I barely know him!” Y/N sighed.

“But you think he’s cute, right?” He pressed. Y/N bit her lower lip because yes, she did think he was cute. And she hates how these little heathens knew that she thought he was cute.

“I mean yeah but─”

“Then why not ask him out?” Yusung chimed in, leaning forwards slightly, “I mean let’s be honest, we’re all sick of you complaining to us about wanting to go on cute dates whenever Sumi leaves the apartment to meet Seonghwa.”

“I-I─” Y/N’s cheeks were tinted pink as she gawked at Yusung, “I-I do not complain! I just think that going out with someone would be nice,” she pouted.

“Ah, you’re complaining again!”

“Shut up, Yusuck!” Y/N snapped before turning her attention back to her phone.

“CHO YUSUNG!” Y/N shrieked as Yusung stole her phone from her hands and replied to Yeosang. Her eyes were wide as she stared at the text he sent before she started hitting his chest with a red face.

“Ouch, ouch! Dammit, woman! You should be thanking me, I just secured you your future boyfriend!” Yusung whined as he grabbed her arms to stop her from hitting him anymore. Y/N will not be thanking him if anything she felt mortified.

“More like secured your own death,” Sumire comments.

“I AM GOING TO KICK YOU IN THE SHIN, CHO YUSUNG!”

“As much I would love to see that,” Junho drawled out, “I think your skaterboy called you cute as well,” he said as he swiped her phone out of Yusung’s hand and read the newest text.

“WHAT?!” Y/N took her phone back and stared at the screen, feeling oddly giddy as she read the text.

“Oh god, you’re already sending him cute love memes? You’re so whipped for him,” Yusung teased, beside him was a snickering Suzaku.

“Shut up, Yusuck! It was an accident! And Suzaku! How could you betray me like this!”

“Sorry, sorry, it’s kinda cute though,” Suzaku cooed, “This is the best and cutest entertainment since Seonghwa paced around the living room and asked for our permission to try to ask Sumi-chan on a date last week.”

“Anyways, dinner’s ready,” Sumire says, clearing her throat when her name was mentioned and placed five plates on the table they were all gathered around. The three immediately quiet down as everyone took their seats to enjoy dinner, a few teasing remarks from both Suzaku and Yusung as they poked fun at Y/N and her crush on Yeosang ( “It’s not a crush, you two!” “Aw, look at how red her cheeks are!” “Aw, how cute!” )

After dinner, they all went into their room to retire for the night. 

[bravomckenzie]

You miss Hope? SFKFDKCJDJD

i honestly really do. like i miss that messy bitch so much? like i would do anything for her to pop in and mess shit up & stir the pot 😔 i miss her drama and nonsense so much i’m just so incredibly bored with this season !!!! i haven’t said much about it besides saying that the most recent episodes were boring and just some reblogs but like ? i’m bored as shit. so bored. i have two accounts and i haven’t even bothered to catch up on my second one bc like i have no need to ??? it’s just so lame and boring. i was hoping that the new islanders were gonna do SOMETHING but like nothing has happened.

i’m so disappointed with the fact that the new islanders weren’t like oh word? 👀 if you tried to save your former LI from elimination. or that the fight between them from the night before didn’t go further. like bobby almost rocked lurik’s shit while we were at casa amor. and what did bill do? go “no don’t take her!” then drop it the next day. the absolute clownery.

this answer didn’t need to be this long sorry i accidentally vented but whatever i miss hope’s messy behavior i miss lottie stirring the pot and being a bitch for no reason i miss bobby just in general BDKDH i miss marisol being annoying i miss gary’s dumbass i miss lucas’ snarky comments god i even miss dirty cheating noah for christ’s sake just give me something fusebox i’m fucking begging

thank you for coming to my ted talk

[snarkwrites]

06 | gangsta ; sweetpea

Notes:

So.. the sexual tension. The longing. The lingering touches and all that awkward but cute shit.. That’s starting here. Can we say sloooow burn? Because considering I’m now six chapters deep and they really haven’t... Done too much as far as touching / flirting / interacting, yeah.. That’s what this is. If you weren’t looking for a slow burn, I’m honestly not sure what to tell you? Other than oops? Oh.. Also.. this chapter and the next one I’m posting will have a few days lapse between them as far as timing. So... just so you know. It’s alluded that Sweet Pea and Alyssa have kind of bumped into each other between this chapter and the next one, if that makes sense.

Also.. I’ve pretty much planned out what stuff I am using / changing a little now, so that’s good. I have a general idea. I might even add my own events / plots to this. I’m kind of.. tempted.

Warnings:

non canon compliant - this is the biggest warning, so if you’re into things that follow exact canon plot you are... definitely not going to like this. angst & slow burn, heavy sexual tension starting now, actually - this is just so everyone who started reading this thinking the smut would transpire in a hurry knows that apparently, it is not. violence / swearing & fighting, possible underage drinking and other shenanigans - look.. it’s high school. shit happens. also apparently, my ofc Alyssa uses the word fuck like all the time?... eventual sexual content / a virgin original character - this one is self explanatory. yes, i plan to write a smutty chapter in this at some point. when? i don’t rightly know. it’s got a while before we get there.

Pairing:

Andrews!Sibling OFC, Alyssa x Sweet Pea

Other Parts:

[ one - two - three - four - five - soundtrack ]

Other Stuff:

[ faq - tag list doc ]

Tagging:

@brithedemonspawn​ is the only person on my Riverdale tag list. If you’d like to be tagged for this story by all means.. Please let me know. Please, I beg. It’d make me super duper happy!!!

                                                     SIX.

“You could come up to the lake house with us. It beats sitting around here moping.” Veronica spoke up as she stepped in front of the television set in my father’s living room. I tried to peer around her, grumbling because naturally, she’d pick the one scene in the entire episode I’d been dying to see since I started to re-watch the show and she’d block it.

“You realize I am trying to see Charlie Hunnam’s bare ass right now, right?” I asked calmly. Reaching for the half melted pint of butter pecan ice cream on the table in front of me and my spoon. Nodding to the empty spot on the couch that wasn’t taken up by my legs. Veronica sat down and for a few minutes, neither of us really said anything.

“What’s your attraction to this show?”

“Jax Teller, Opie Winston... Motorcycles.. But mostly Jax Teller.”

“Which one is he?”

“The blond with the very nice backside.” I nodded towards the shot I’d been waiting an entire season for, Jax Teller getting out of the shower and walking across the room.

“You definitely don’t have a type, no, not at all.” Veronica gave a soft laugh as she muttered the words. With the scene out of the way, I turned to the side to look at her.

“I’m not even going to ask what you meant by that.” I muttered.

Things were always awkward and tense between us. We were polite. But that was about the extent of it. And I felt bad about it. Obviously not bad enough to actually make an effort, even though she seemed like a really nice girl and she made my brother really happy. Happier than he’s been in a long time if I’m being honest.

I just couldn’t get past the rift her family caused in mine.

Then there was her mother, trying to hook up with my father while her actual husband was locked up in prison… But mostly, the tension her father caused between my father and my brother.

“Listen.. I heard everything that happened between you and Reggie. And if you want to come to the lake house..”

I shook my head. “ I am not crashing on the whole double date getaway you guys have going on. Besides, I doubt I’d be good company right now.”

“You wouldn’t be crashing!” Veronica was quick to speak up. “I know you don’t like me. But your brother loves you and I really.. I want to try to get to know you.”

I nodded. Taking a deep breath as I admitted quietly, “It’s not you, okay? Look. I have zero problem with you. It’s all the crap that’s going on with my brother and your dad. I’m… I’m worried about him and how far he’ll go.”

Veronica sighed. We went quiet again and she admitted after a few minutes, “I am too. If you want the truth, I don’t really like how close my dad is to him either. I don’t trust it.”

I eyed her, a brow raised.

“That’s like a dream situation though. If your father likes him, you don’t have to worry about him resorting to any of his typical clownery to end things with you two.” I curled the ends of my hair around my fingertip as I tried to understand why she wouldn’t like her father and my brother bonding a little.

Then it hit me. It had to feel awkward. Your father popping in to borrow your boyfriend. But the look on her face told me that wasn’t the only reason.

“I know what my father’s capable of. And the more I try to stop it, the more he manages to get by with. I hate everything he’s done, okay? I just.. Wanted you to know that.”

I let her words sink in.

Eyeing her as I weighed mine. Managing a smile.

“You make my brother happy. I like him happy. So if you really want to try and get to know each other, we can. But I’m not going to intrude on you guys weekend get away, because one, awkward as hell and two, I can imagine that already happens enough with your dad butting in to get him to do something or another.”

Veronica nodded, smiling. “I understand. What are you going to do this weekend?”

“Honestly?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m probably going to rewind that one scene five million times and burn it in my mind… I thought about going down to the theater and catching that horror marathon but I dunno.” I shrugged.

“A horror movie by yourself?”

“Mhm.”

After my brother came downstairs, the two of them left for the weekend and I locked the door behind them, leaning against it. Wandering over to my dad’s stereo, turning it on a hard rock station I listened to when I was home by myself just to drive out the lack of noise in the house.

I wandered into the kitchen, gathering up dirty dishes and moving them to the sink. Taking chicken out of our freezer to thaw because I thought about making chicken parmesan for me and dad when dad got off work tonight.

Vegas wandered into the kitchen and dropped his leash at my feet with a soft thud. I stopped what I was doing to lean down and pet him, nodding to the door. “In a few minutes, buddy. I’ll go find pants.”

I finished piling dishes into the sink and I wandered into the laundry room, digging around in the dryer for the jeans I’d taken off earlier, tugging them up. The door bell was literally being leaned on and I froze.

Took a few deep breaths and reminded myself that all the Black Hood nonsense was behind Riverdale because the guy was dead. Thinking it was Archie and he forgot something and was in a hurry, I made my way over to the door, unlocking it. “Hold on, Archie, damn.”

It wasn’t Archie.

Reggie stood there.

“What do you want?” I scowled.

“I miss you, okay? This is driving me crazy. Can we at least just talk about what you heard?”

“What exactly is there left to say? You were basically gambling on my virginity.” I frowned and shook my head. Shivering as the wind picked up a little.

“We can go inside and talk, Alyssa.”

“I just told you. I have absolutely nothing to say to you. Look… what you did hurt, okay? Because  I thought… nevermind.” I muttered, going quiet. Blowing at bangs I’d just gotten cut earlier in the week. He reached out to attempt pushing my hair out of my eyes and I leaned away. Vegas yelped impatiently from the doorway, his leash in his mouth now.

Seeing Reggie, he started to make his way over. Reggie bent to pet the dog and I cleared my throat. “You need to go.”

“Just let me say what I came to say.”

I tapped a bare foot against white painted wood slats and tilted my head, gazing up at him. Waiting.

“The only reason I made the stupid bet to begin with is because you’re literally the one girl I couldn’t work up the nerve to flirt with. And when I did, my charm didn’t work on you. Kinda when I started to fall. You gave me a hard time, princess.”

“ I kind of wish I’d stuck to that, actually.” I muttered. “All you had to do, Reggie, was just talk to me? Ask me on a date, I don’t know…”

“I was stupid, okay?” Reggie went quiet. Stepped a little closer. “ I love you. When I made the bet, I didn’t know how I felt about you at all. Then I started to fall and I tried to get out of the bet, Alyssa, you have to believe me. I tried to tell you but every time I’d think about it, I’d freak out because you’re the first actual good thing I’ve had in my life in a while, okay?”

I scoffed. “Yeah, I doubt that.”

“I mean it. And I’m not going to stop trying to prove it.”

I shrugged. “Do whatever you want but I’m not guaranteeing it will work. I already went against my gut instinct and gave you a chance to begin with.”

I shivered a little, hugging myself. Reggie placed his hands on my upper arms, rubbing them. Gazing down at me.

“Reggie, you need to go. I just need to think.”

“Thinking is better than you saying you hate me now… I just.. You were my best friend when we were kids.. Then I kinda fell for you and now stuff just sucks.. I don’t have my best friend or the girl I love. Anything is better than nothing.”

Reggie left and I walked back inside, flinging myself at the couch. Pulling myself together for a few seconds. Really letting what he said sink in. Trying to figure out if I felt the same thing. Or if I felt anything at all.

I finally gave up trying to force myself into a decision and after leashing Vegas, I wandered out into the chilly night air. Down to Pickens Park because Vegas likes to wander around the big grassy area between the ballfields and the playground.

After playing  fetch with a stick Vegas bought over to me, I flopped onto the grass. Vegas settled beside me and I found myself just kind of lounging there lazily, watching the clouds roll over the darkening sky lazily. Pointing at constellations when I spotted one. Vegas seemed content to just lounge there, his head resting on my stomach with me lazily giving him behind the ear skritches.

A throat cleared from nearby.

Sweet Pea stepped out, hands in his pockets. Wandering over to where I’d lazily flopped onto the grass. Sitting down nearby with his back against the tree. Close but keeping a healthy distance between us.

“Do you always lay in the park at night and talk to your dog?”

“What if I do?” I answered, rolling onto my stomach, propping on my elbow to gaze at him, my hair promptly cascading in front of my face like a messy red curtain.

“Damn it. I should’ve just chopped it all off.” I grumbled, pushing my hair out of my eyes to look at him.

“You’d look hideous bald.” Sweet Pea flashed me a teasing smirk.

“Hmphf.” I grumbled in response to his comment. “What brings you to the boring side of town?”

Sweet Pea shrugged. “Wyrm was crowded. Full of shouting kids and shit. I wanted to take a walk.”

“Toni and Cheryl went to see that movie tonight.” I laughed softly. “They asked me if I wanted to go but I said I wanted to stay home. Kind of just not feeling it. Then my brother’s girlfriend asked if I wanted to go on that weekend trip they all took.”

“You could be soaking in a hot tub right now.” Sweet Pea teased, a lesser seen teasing smile tugging at his mouth as he glanced at me.

“Honestly? I’d rather eat glass than indulge in anything Hiram Lodge is a part of. I’ll be nice to Veronica and try to get to know her, but that’s pretty much it. You know he brought my brother a car, right?”

“Yeah. I heard.” Sweet Pea answered, glancing over at me.

“Dad wasn’t thrilled with it either. That’s fine. Absolutely fine. I want Dad’s truck anyway. I’ll just spend weekends helping dad work on it. It’ll be more time I can spend with the grumpy old man.” I smiled to myself. One good thing about moving to Riverdale was that I was finally getting to spend more time with my father and my brother.

“You couldn’t even see over the wheel though. Can you even drive to begin with?” Sweet Pea shot me a teasing glance. Quick to step away from me just a little further, raising his hands. “I’m not trying to invoke the wrath of the midget.”

“It’s called a booster seat, asshole. And actually yeah. I do okay at driving. I mean aside from a go kart incident back in Chicago...” I teased right back, the two of us sharing a laugh that fell silent.

Sweet Pea stood, holding out a hand.

I eyed his hand and sat up, grabbing hold. Letting him pull me off the grass. Vegas rose to sit on his hind legs, then made his way over, sitting down right between Sweet Pea and I.. the little space that remained, there is. When he’d pulled me up, he’d pulled me with enough force that I wound up barely pressed against him. Close enough that my breath caught in my throat for a few seconds.

We sprang apart. Sweet Pea’s hand settled on top of Vegas’ head lazily and he chuckled when Vegas licked his hand, wiping his hand on the thigh of his jeans.

“It’s late. And colder.” Sweet Pea pointed out, nodding in the direction of my house. I glanced up at the sky and unable to resist, I retorted, “You don’t say, captain obvious.”

I jumped back out of his way a little and he stepped up. Towering over me.

“C’mon. I’ll walk you back.”

“But sir. I have a perfectly capable guard dog? What would the upstanding hypocritical assholes on this street think.. A  big bad Serpent walking defenseless little me home?” I pretended to pout up at him, laughing softly. “I was joking.” I muttered a few seconds later.

He shook his head, muttered something I couldn’t quite make out and we started to walk down the sidewalk, towards my father’s house.

The streetlight flickered on above us, bathing us in soft and almost hazy lighting thanks to the fog that was starting to kind of set in.

The leaves crunched beneath my feet. Shattering this heavy air of silence that seemed to settle over us.

“I’m gonna.. Go. Back to the Wyrm.” Sweet Pea muttered abruptly a few seconds later. Lingering, even though he said he’d leave. Gazing down at me as if he were in a daze. Or caught up in his own thoughts. A million miles away.

“I need to get Vegas in the house.” I muttered, nipping at my lip as I held eye contact. Trying not to think about what I’d revealed to Cheryl and Toni a few days ago about maybe being attracted to him… But it was all I could think about at the moment. His eyes darted down, settling on my bottom lip. Then he shook his head, turning swiftly and disappearing around the corner up the street.

I walked inside, making the comment to Vegas, “That wasn’t weird at all, huh buddy?” Vegas just tilted his head, gazing up at me. I bent to take off his leash, hanging it up. Fluffing his fur before hurrying into the kitchen to grab myself a soda.

Settling in on the couch. Turning the television back on.

And promptly falling asleep in the middle of a rewatch of the first season of Punisher. And as I slept, I found myself dreaming about Reggie. And then, oddly enough, Sweet Pea.

When I woke up the next morning, it was to a few seconds of confusion because the dream I’d woken up from had been so vivid that I honestly thought it actually happened. I pouted as soon as the realization sunk in that it had been a dream.

And I grumbled in annoyance with myself because I wanted it to be real. Because lately, spending all this time around Sweet Pea, I was starting to feel like maybe I didn’t just think he was hot.

Maybe I actually did feel something.

Before that thought could take root, I was shoving it back out of my head again. Refusing to acknowledge it. Because the hot guys are always the ones that somehow manage to do the most damage. And I was still pretty hurt over the way things played out with Reggie. Afraid to open myself up. Afraid to trust. Afraid to try, if I’m being honest because I was at least 95 percent sure that Sweet Pea would probably laugh his ass off at me if I were dumb enough to do so.