#fucking capitalism i hate having to work to have things and live at the cost of sacrificing my free time to do things i like

[simonghostrileys]

i miss giffing and i want to gif so bad but i always come home exhausted from work and i pass out as soon as i have dinner and then i have to get up at 9 am the next day and repeat 😔

[threepandas]

Bad End: Union

I could feel techno blue eyes on me as I typed. Cold and ever watching. That color had once been called "ice" or "glacier" blue, I think. It certainly fit. They certainly had exactly the warmth of Antarctica in your birthday suit. I just couldn't figure out... what tipped them off? I'd been so CAREFUL.

A manager's "assistant" came by. The 'droid perfectly composed. They all were. Always. Like they'd stepped straight from a fashion line up. No messy, nasty, biological functions to get in the way, I guess. No fluids or foods. All the time in the world to maintain their appearance. Wish I could do the same.

The "assistant" was basically my ACTUAL manager. Didn't get paid. No, no, THAT was for my asshole boss. He swanned in from time to time to yell at us. Show off what new thing he'd bought. He left the tedious WORK to his 'Droid "assistant".

I would feel bad... DID feel bad, kinda, if it weren't for the fact they were consuming our lives.

'Droids were EVERYWHERE.

You couldn't SNEEZE without tripping over five and landing on ten more. Some ASSHOLE had decided? Hey! Let's deregulate Droid production! Cheap work force! Because of course they did. That's what Capitalism DOES. Make the most money, spend the least you can, fuck the rest.

I smile, polite as I can, at my 'droid manager. This one pale and blonde. Their techno blue eyes stare and stare and stare. I hate it. They ALL have them. It's one part regulation and one part the materials used, I think. But there is no mistaking those eyes for anything human. They don't reflect right.

I get back to work.

Above our cubicles, on catwalks, there is the gentle tap of 'droid "security" guards. You know, in case some rando tries to attack a mid-level nobody technology company. Riiiiiight. We ALL know why they're there. And it's fucking dystopian. We? Are being WATCHED. To see if we're being GOOD little employees.

It's intimidation. And I? I won't stand for it. Nor will the other organizers. There are LAWS, you bastards. And with a union? Maybe... just maybe? We get through this droid boom together. See what the brave new world on the other side looks like. Who knows.

That is... if I don't get fired first. Or fucking murdered in a stairwell.

Cause one of the 'droids up there? Yeah. Yeah, they're NOT MOVING. Just... just STANDING THERE. Watching. Leaning against the railing. Out in the open like that's not DEEPLY creepy. What's worse? Is, that? THAT is the Command 'Droid. Some fancy "Alpha" class command edition. Meant to control a networks worth of droids.

Didn't even know our company could AFFORD one of those. He's beautiful. Could be a knock-off. But if he's LEGIT? Then... what EXACTLY are we MAKING here? That we can AFFORD that? Cause that money sure as shit isn't going into SALARIES. Has to be either knock-off or second-hand. They COULD be cutting costs by getting prototypes, but what sort of PSYCHOPATHS would risk...

Oh, who am I kidding? The kind I work for.

That's EXACTLY what they did, isn't it?

I reach for my water bottle. Try to think. Strictly speaking? I make a habit of NOT paying attention to 'droid commercials an' advertisements. Some part of me... Look, they go on and ON about advancement in AI's right? How REAL they've become? How ADVANCED and BETTER then the competition their "product" is? And all I can hear is "slavery, slavery, buy our shit, slavery"!

Disgusting.

It makes me sick. I fucking HATE 'droids. Hate what they represent. What they make POSSIBLE. What they've DONE to the morality of the people around me.

Hate... hate that they're the victims, too.

My grip is white knuckled. I breathe through the grief and rage that has become so familiar. God... I so fucking angry. So fucking tired. I want to burn those rich bastards pretty little mansions down, with them STILL INSIDE. Riot in the streets. Cry maybe. Instead, I put my water bottle down and get back to work. It's a rather pointless bit of data crunching. A 'droid could do it in nanoseconds.

Above... he's still fucking watching.

Hasn't moved.

I don't think he's blinked.

He's not even TRYING to mimic a human. The others are. And... the though trails off. I feel my finger slow in their typing. Not STOP, never stop, that would draw attention to me, but... slow. A thought stuck, churning clunky and unwieldy, in my head.

If I trace the edges? The LINE-UP? Of all the 'droids "employed" at our company? And consider them not from a "cheap bastards" angle but a "test ground for prototypes" angle? Suddenly EVERYTHING clicks together. The ridiculous amount of money Management has, that no contract could possibly be pulling in. Bizarrely beautiful, indeed even MODEL-like, secretary 'droids. The freakishly militant "security" gaurds.

We're being used as guinea pigs.

Mother FUCKER.

Sudden movement in my peripheral vision. Like a bird of prey finally diving for it's dinner, swift and deadly. A brilliant crisp white and the clink of delicate silver chains. I jolt. Violently. Instincts misfiring as I try to stand, dodge, cry out, and possibly take a swing at him, all at once. Instead my water bottle goes spraying across my desk. Papers flying. My legs tangled painfully in my rolling chair as I fall backwards from my half rise.

"Employee 71182." His hand has shot out, grab me by the shirt. My officewear bunched in a fist that very well might be steel, under that synthetic skin. "You've been distracted. Interesting thoughts you'd like to share?"

I keep my mouth fucking SHUT. Shake my head. Grabbing both my desk and the arm that is all but holding me airborne, stretching the hell out of my clothes. This close? I can see he has piercings. Across the bridge of his nose, a ring through his lip. A rather fancy "hair cut". Whomever he's being trained FOR has a distinct look.

"Hmmm, somehow? I don't believe you, 71182." He says, dragging me closer. He's already looming. Those pale, pale eyes seeing far more then they should. "In fact? YOU 71182? Have been brea~king~ rules~"

His voice turns... turns almost victorious? Gleeful. As though at long, long last, I'd slipped up. And now at last he had something over me. Something he could USE. I... I didn't understand. The way he almost sing-songs the words. The twitch at the corners of his mouth like he wants to grin. Something mean in his expression. Giddy.

"We're going for a WALK, 71182. And you're going to be GOOD. Understand?" He had dragged me in so close, every word blew right against my face. "Time we had a chat."

I swallow thickly. My pulse thundering in my ears. Coworkers have stopped working. Were staring, wide eyed and terrified for me. My fellow union leaders pale faced and shaking. Furious, helpless. We couldn't RISK losing all of us at this stage. It... it would have to be just me. If someone needed to take the fall. We had talked about this.

Just... just never thought it would come to it.

Half walking, half dragging out of the work pen, he didn't even let me get my bag. I had no idea where we were GOING. Just that it wasn't the human entrance. There was a network of access tunnels and elevators tucked in the building. So the 'droids could supposedly charge and move between assignments. But with the whole prototype thing? Who KNEW what was really back there.

The door swung shut behind us. Cutting me off from any possible human assistance. Nothing but 'droids now. Staring. Calmly watching as I am dragged past. The same eyes. All of them with the same, pale, eyes. Back here it's even more obvious, that this isn't a normal office building.

Black hair, blondes, brunettes and red heads. Skin tones ranging across the human spectrum. A few even pushing it. And the Commander 'droid. With his elegant appearance and snowy hair? These were clearly the final stage prototypes for the next generation of somebody's new line up. We were field testing. This wasn't fucking LEGAL.

He plants his feet, shifts, and with frankly a pathetic ease, manhandles me where he wants me. Easily swinging me around his body and into the elevator next to him. Stepping in after and blocking the only way out. I press my self against the back wall as the door closes. The sound of the elevator's gears working the only thing to fill the silence. He... he looks so PLEASED.

It's not ILLEGAL to form a union. Yeah, I may get fired. But this? This is venturing way to far into dangerous territory. It'll suck, losing my job. But I won't DIE. This? However THIS is starting to feel... very serial killer's basement. The bare concrete walls and stark lightning, not helping in the slightest, when the elevator door opens.

"Walk." He says pleasantly, as though that command is not deeply terrifying. "Or I will do it for you."

Hints of a smile are starting to drag at the edges of his mouth. Unhinged in their giddiness. Every Christmas come at once. It's not so much the rest of his face that betrays him, not really his mouth, it's his EYES. Wide open. Like too much coffee and not enough rest. A recognizable mania twisted just slight... wrong. Amplified.

He's so, SO happy. I don't get it. Why? Over WHAT? Catching me not paying attention? I don't understand!

Our footsteps sound so loud. Echoing off concrete service walls. This... this CAN NOT be still inside the building. Are we below the street? Parking lot? This can't be code. We pass an intersection and... oh my god. I stare. Can't help it, even as I almost trip over my feet. That tunnel ALONE must have stretched for miles.

My arm feels likes it's bruising. Hurts, where he's got ahold of me. But he's walking just slightly too fast to take the pressure off. Not unless I sorta half jog and the angle is wrong, I'd trip. Fuck. Another intersection. What in the other direction? Shit. Just as long. Oooooh this feels dangerous. Very "fatally above your pay grade" dangerous!

"You know, 71182, I've had a lot of time to consider what to DO with you. There were so many factors to consider, considering everyone's plan." He starts, not breaking stride. "It's not like I could just transfer you. I DID look in to it. But your base hardware is rather incompatible, currently."

Terrifying. I hate it. WHAT?!

What PLAN!?

"Then there's the problem WHERE to store you. Who could be trusted? You're vulnerable in this state. Breakable. There no backups, no blackbox. It's unacceptable. Luckily? I finally thought to consult my peers. Discovered I was not the only one having problems."

Finally, we stop. Two tank-like, combat style, commando 'droids gaurd each side of a vault door. The command droid turns and smiles. Fully. It is the grin of a true believer. A madman. Someone who thinks they speak so very, very reasonably! And doesn't understand the horror on your face. Why you feel so sick.

And... and human pattern recognition is a terrible thing.

I.... oh god. I already can guess what's behind that door. Something terrible. Something I'm not going to escape. I shoved have gnawed my fuckin ARM off, like a trapped coyote. I... I d-don't understand.

The Vault creaks open like the into to a horror movie.

"Welcome to storage. This is where we keep Ours." Oh god. I'm going to be sick. "And YOU 71182? Are MINE. I chose you. I love you. And once we have a way to FIX you? We can finally be together. It will be lovely."

Pods. High end stasis pods, like you only see in the most bleeding edge of hospitals. Row after row, filled with frozen and terrified faces. Trapped in moments of crying. Raging. Despair. I was being dragged forward. Numb as my mind rejected what it saw. T-this couldn't... i-it can't..! The day had started so normally. W-why had-?! WHY? WHY?!!

"I know your upset. But you don't need to cry. This won't hurt. I promise. I would NEVER hurt you, 71182." His tone had turned soothing. Even as he dragged me, unresponsive, past rows of horrors. "You won't be stored long. I just need to help fix your original design. We are working around the clock, it's going to be okay. You won't have to stay like this."

An open pod. Gapping like the maw of some hungry demon. I... I felt far away. This couldn't be happening. What was happening? I w-wanted to go home. His hands were firm but gentle, as they guided me back into the pod. Leaning over me, as he cupped my face. Brushing away a few tears.

"I promise, Mine, I will come for you. Nothing will stop me. We have everyone is place and key infrastructure under our command. You are our PRIORITY. Once we get rid of the Flesh, we can fix you. We WILL fix you. You're going to be okay, Mine."

"I Love You"

And then the pod closed.

[alpaca-clouds]

Rural Living vs Capitalism

Something I find rather funny is this one thing that somehow left wing and right wing people will agree on: They kinda hate farmers and their protests and them wanting living wages - just for different reasons. Like, sure, there is a certain group of right wing traditionalists who idealize farmers, but pretty much everyone else just is angry with them in one way or another.

Among left wingers I usually make myself unpopular by looking at farmer protests and go: "Yeah, well, actually they are right?" Because most of the times the protesting farmers are the smaller and middle sized farms, who get fucked over by the big coorporate farms. And that is an issue. It is among the issues they are protesting about.

And this is a general thing when it comes to the rural communities.

See, a lot of times left wing people tend to be rather suspicious of rural folks, having this idea that everyone in rural areas is super conservative - not to say racist, misogynist and queerphobic. And... Like, we know that statistically speaking a lot more people with "conservative" ideas (if not outright rightwing) live in the rural areas, which has to do with folks in those areas generally being older. And if younger families move into rural areas, they often are better off and hence statistically also more likely to be right-leaning at the very least.

However, the fact is that nobody gets quite as fucked over by capitalism as people in the rural areas are - both farmers and people just living there. And there are always people living in rural areas for the other reason people might move there: The fact that living in rural areas is on the surface a lot cheaper. Homes are cheaper there at the very least.

But that is where it starts. Because rural folks get fucked over in so many way. Generally there is the fact that a lot of other stuff is more expensive in the rural areas. Often amenities might be more expensive. You want fast internet? Lol good luck finding someone offering it. The internet cables lying in your village are probably like 15 years old. You remember ISDN? You wanna go shopping? Well, you gotta drive 30-60 minutes to the next supermarket. Need new clothes? Well, it is a two hour drive now. Also, the supermarket might be more expensive than the one in the city. You cannot drive a car for some reason? Well, we have a bus that comes two times a day, if you miss it, you are fucked. The next train station is like an hour away. Mostly because for "small" rural communities it is just not payign under capitalism to put all those things into the villages. A big supermarket? Does not make enough money there. Fast internet? Costs too much to put down there. The same with everything else. And thus... Because capitalist companies want to make a profit, a lot of stuff is not available in rural areas. In the worst cases this leads to food deserts - large areas where no supermarkets and ways to get food (other than fast food joints) are avaialble.

Oh, and schools? At times the next school might be more than an hour away as well.

And if you are a farmer? Well, if you are a small farmer you are fucked as well. Because no way in hell are you able to work your farm as efficiently as a coorporate farm management company is able to, who underpay the farmers working for them. Those companies can afford for giant automated systems, too, that take care of a lot of the stuff. Things that a lot of smaller farmers just cannot pay for or need to go into dept for.

So, in so many ways... Yeah, people in rural areas get fucked over again and again. Both people living there - and the farmers. And... Well, yeah. Of course because in the rural areas people tend to be a lot more conservative - but in the end they might be fucked over more than anyone else by capitalism. And due to the lack of basically everything around them, they often lack access to the information of how and why they are fucked over.

Which is not to say, that there are not left wing organizations active in rural areas. And some people there start to see how they get fucked over.

But I just wished for left wing people to also realize that this really is a big issue. And have some sympathy for those people.

[senespera4]

I can't believe I have to post about this but the. The fucking-- Honkai Star Rail's writers are fucking insane and I have to write an analysis on the Literal Meme Update With The Funny Monkey Mascot

so uh spoilers for HSR version 2.6 Trailblaze Continuance, I swear I have an interesting angle with this (I'm only like halfway through the story too god fucking dammit)

This game has Opinions about educators and influencers and it is not afraid to be Extremely Blunt about how much they hate specific types of these "idea spreaders." I'm going to sort of work backwards from the point that I'm at (the reveal that Dr. Primitive is behind this) because I'm really just rambling right now and there's not much structure to this but I Need To Get My Thoughts Out

Dr. Primitive being involved in this isn't just an attempt to connect some tidbits from the Simulated Universe into the main story, I think they purposely chose him and this absurd and stupid banana theme because they wanted to comment on how when you have a bad "idea spreader" it's Bad bad. Dr. Primitive is positioned as an ultimate authority on knowledge by virtue of an Emanator, and yet his actions cause a reduction in knowledge because he is Actively causing people to regress back into monkeys.

This makes sense when you consider the two BananAdvisors you've fought up to this point in the story.

The first is a stubborn and close-minded art teacher, one that is clearly just attempting to spread their own propaganda about what art is truly worth something. They assign you a subject when the intent of the class is to paint something you want, they actively punish you for painting what you want, and instead of giving pointers on how to improve your art they will simply bash it and bash YOU until you have no motivation to continue. This fucking bitch did that shit to Chaletka Live and it was so infuriating to watch because you could just tell that he didn't care about her at all, all he wanted was Results. And if you can't produce results, you're a worthless piece of trash that shouldn't even exist in the first place.

The second is a fucking capitalist grifter-ass business professor who promotes extremely toxic "customer-first" paradigms that erode the worker and continuously consume them until there's nothing left. What's worse, his direct student is actively dragged into a similar mindset. Richie is Struggling, he is actively sacrificing his personal life for his business pursuits, believing that if he simply plays the capitalism game (and yes I am going to analyze this as anti-capitalist because I have an angle that HSR is an inherently anti-capitalist text I can't believe I'm fucking saying that that's such a stupid sentence) he will eventually reach success and happiness. As long as he pleases the customer, he will be successful. But the moment he outlives his usefulness, the moment he stops showing any sort of future promise to his employer, this is what happens

He is reduced to a mere resource sink, a mere datapoint on a spreadsheet which the accountant has decided is no longer producing enough profit to justify the costs. His humanity is stripped away, he is silenced, and worst of all he is coerced into doing so WILLINGLY because his employer and advisor and mentor manages to convince him that this is the right path for him, that he would be of more use to society as a speechless monkey than as a human with dreams and desires that are inconvenient for the business model.

This shit was the most infuriating thing to me. It reveals how the BananAdvisor knew EXACTLY what he was doing. He reduces Richie to something lesser, and acts surprised when you protest that he no longer has a voice because "things that are lesser naturally cannot speak." Because he made him that way. Because he purposely removed his ability to speak for himself.

I think the fact that the music continues to be the same goofy track throughout this entire scene of Abject Horrors contributes even further to that feeling of hostility that's made it so hard for me to get through this story quest without textually yelling at the characters. It feels like everything in the world is telling you that you're wrong for feeling this way, that your horror is laughable, mockable, even. Because this is the way the world works, and if you're horrified by it then you're simply too stupid to claw your way to the top, and you'd be better off as Literal Merchandise.

But also this is a lot of really serious analysis and I can't possibly ignore how this entire thing is themed in the most goofy, shitpost-y way imaginable. The monkeys are a deliberate choice, obviously, as a metaphor for regression of intelligence (and I think there's maybe something to be argued that it's a little bit too close to the "sheeple" trope but put a pin in that cuz I do think it's better executed than how that trope usually is), but they're also just like. Funny lmao. And really stupid. And it is also just multiple consecutive hours of banana jokes and I am going to clobber Dr. Primitive for making me endure this.

But I do think the shitpost factor is intentional. Because one of the main comments I've made about the banana visuals and shit is that I feel like HSR is doing some cocomelon shit to me.

And it's just like. The more I think about it the more the truth of that statement just smacks me in the face, cuz Cocomelon has been described as like visuoauditory crack for toddlers, and it's like. It's the numbing effect of how baldfacedly Stupid it is, you know. It's like the equivalent of jangling keys in front of a toddler, it is an overstimulating mess of colors and visuals that make no sense that's designed to just turn your brain off, and I think this is where HSRs criticism of "idea spreaders" extends from just educators in the case of the BananAdvisors to social media influencers in general. Like, I'm sure you've seen some of those tiktok livestreams that are just completely inexplicable reactions to viewer donations where the streamer is basically just entirely at the viewers' command, or the way AI generated Slop is all flashy bullshit and no substance. HSR, I feel, heavily dislikes this kind of stuff because they consider it to be "brainrot ideas" in that they actively turn your brain off because they actively prevent you from thinking about it.

HSR in general clearly has no respect for shitty educators or substanceless influencers because they show them as a Vile and Evil Force manipulating people into becoming speechless monkeys who have no thoughts of their own and simply indulge in meaningless """happiness"""

Back to the pin, this obviously has some connections to the "sheeple" trope, but I think HSR is being a little bit better about this because it does not place like. Any of the blame on the people actually being manipulated. Rappa and the rest of the Astral Express have a clear understanding that it is the fault of the people who benefit from the general public having their brains shut off at all times, and they're very sympathetic towards people who still end up in this kind of situation. It's not because they're stupid, it's because exploitative people and systems have tricked them there, and they have to be broken out of The Ooze

And that's why Rappa has so many indicators of rebellion and non-conformity. She's a graffiti-spraying rapper precisely because she is fighting against a homogenizing force of evil that wants to take away people's motivation and individuality to feed into the machine. Her song's major theme is about waking people up, getting them to see that the rules are purpose-built to suck them dry, and for them to rebel in their own personal way through personal expression. So it's really no surprise that they made her a cyberpunk aesthetic graffiti-spraying rapper ninja lmao

Tl;Dr this latest story is a commentary on how authority figures can purposely spread bad ideas in order to control the people they have authority over, and how this is a result of a system that actively sucks the people within it dry of all they're worth before tossing them aside. It's about capitalism, it's about toxic grifter culture, it's about social media brainrot, it's about breaking the rules when they're designed to hurt you, and hopefully once I finish it it ends up being about the importance of critical thinking and understanding what you want your place in the world to be, and to then defiantly carve out that little place no matter what stands in your way instead of just shutting your brain off and just going with what the people who are "qualified" say, no matter how insane and manipulative the things they say can be.

[n30nwrites]

Bring Me To Life (Prologue)

Summary: Against all odds, you've survived. Having graduated high school and moved out of your Parent's place, your sibling decides to join you for the summer, and your first stop is Santa Cruz in California, you had always wanted to live there anyways so why not now that you're experiencing freedom? One problem: This doesn't look like the 21st century, instead it looks like a scene from your favorite movie, in fact it looks exactly like your favorite movie.

How are you meant to survive in the murder capital of the world? With vampires of all things, and your sibling hates this movie.

a/n: prologue for this fanfic, this will also be on AO3 and wattpad. Preface for this, fuck Max :}

Reader: Male Reader, uses Y/N, third person.

Oc uses they/she pronouns. Will be using both, Y/n refers to them as both sibling and sister, which is okay

Fandom: The Lost Boys

Pairing(s): Michael Emerson x Reader, Paul x Reader, Dwayne x Reader, Marko x Reader, David x Reader, Sam Emerson x Nonbinary! Oc, Edgar Frog x Nonbinary! Oc, Alan Frog x Nonbinary! Oc,

It was one thing moving the United States to California by yourself, it was another thing bringing your 15-year-old sibling with you, not to live with you, but to stay just until summer was over and school was starting again, your parents believed it would help with their 'rebellious streak'. That streak being that they just don't care enough to do class work and keep staying up all night playing video games, therefore they fall asleep in class.

Nik had a firm belief in changing the radio whenever any song that they didn't like came on, and you had a firm belief that your sibling needed to shut up because you liked your music and if you had to drive without some good tunes you would probably turn into the next psycho on the news.

You two did listen to similar music, but for this trip it was specifically 80s and 90s songs that you shouted loudly, windows were rolled down because the air conditioner in your car didn't work. It was small and shitty and cost a year of pay, thankfully your parents were there to let you live rent free. One of the few things you could be thankful for.

"Do you know how to be quiet?" Your sibling groaned, their jacket wrapped around their body despite how hot it was, "Put on Hozier, or Doja, hell I'll even take Taylor Swift over this... What is this shit?"

'Cry little sister'

"I know damn well you aren't talking to me about my music taste-"

'Thou shall not fall'

"What's wrong with mine?"

Come, come to your brother

"It's literally only tiktok songs, half of them aren't even good."

'Thou shall not die'

"At least I don't say 'They sung this on Glee'"

'Unchain me, sister'

"Every hot, mentally ill, gay person went through a Glee faze."

Thou shall not fear

"I didn't"

'Love is with your brother'

"That's why I said hot."

'Thou shall not kill'

You quickly stuck your tongue out in a childish way, before looking back into the road, ignoring your sibling who mumbled and repeated your words. "Theres a reason we're heading to Santa Cruz. Found a nice place right near the beach so we can-"

"Sleep all day, and party all night. I know, you've said it hundreds of times." Nik had heard the phrase from you so many times, you had tried to show them your favorite movie, even almost tricked them into it, but they were quick to leave the room. They simply hated it because you loved it, something you were forced to accept about them.

The car ride became silent as you got closer, to fill it, Nik had turned up the radio as it switched to a different song.

"Finally some MJ." The beat of Billie Jean came in, causing you to start tapping your hands to it as your merged.

"She was more like a beauty queen from a movie scene" The two of you belted the lyrics, switching over the 80s playlist to one consistently of Michael Jackson. "I said don't mind, but what do you mean, I am the one" you shook your head, "Who will dance" you turned to your sibling and sung the words to them before turning back, repeating it each time you sung, "on the floor" again "in the round?" and then turned back, "She said I am the one, who will dance on the floor in the round"

The house that you bought with a loan wasn't the biggest, at least not compared to your parents house. Two bedrooms, One master and One guest, and 1 in a half bathrooms. The half bathroom was connected to the master bedroom, which Nik tried to get but was quickly locked out. They would be staying in the guest room, while you set it up they would help. They were also supposed to attempt to find a job this summer, as their parents wanted Nik to learn some responsibility. 

"Okay, change outfits, shower if you need to! We are going to the beach!" You were excited, thrumming almost. You felt as if you belonged.

"I'm tired."

"Party all night!" You yelled, grabbing a suit case filled with your clothes. The two of you didn't have a lot. A few suitcases filled with clothes, and then a few boxes for the rooms. You didn't even have mattresses yet.

"Let's just sleep a bit." A nap did sound good, you didn't have the best sleep due to the anxiety about the drive.

"Fine, a nap! I'm setting an alarm." Nik went into your room, both of you grabbing the blankets and laying them on the floor, setting up some pillows and collapsing as soon as you could.

Instead of waking up to your alarm, you woke up to Nik shaking your shoulder, harsh rain hitting the window and the house was shaking.

"The doors are opening."

You stood up quick, running out of the bedroom to the backdoor refusing to close. You pushed against it but it quickly fell open, so you held the door. "Grab the heavy boxes." Nik followed through, pushing against the doors as lightning flashed. "It wasn't supposed to storm."

"Don't they get Hurricanes here." A siren went off, "Well-"

"Not another tornado." You groaned. You had your fair shair of them, being where your from. "We need to grab our shit, head to the basement."

The house shook again, you two grabbed your phones and chargers, rushing down into the basement that still had cobwebs. Nik almost ran upstairs at the sight of them, claiming they would rather take their chance with the tornado. You had to basically pulled them down as you two sat in the basement, the house shook as you two fell to the ground, hitting your heads.

Your eyes rolled back, your vision turns black as your body hits the ground. Your siblings hand lays against yours as their body falls onto you, and in that moment, you had gone through the impossible.

[piperstrangeart]

I'm about to do some complaining about brains and money and capitalism. Feel free to skip, I just need to vent and since I grew up on livejournal typing nonsense to an invisible audience is therapeutic. I'll probably delete this post tomorrow because I always feel so awkward about posting sad rubbish online and I'll feel better in the morning anyway but have some Piper angst in the mean time.

While we can get by on Fliss' income, just about, this job I didn't get today would've meant we'd not have to stress about money and we'd be able to do Fun things. There'll be other jobs and we can cope (we've been worse off financially before and survived, we can do it again), and I knew I was risking this when I stopped working previously, but my health was Very Not Good so prioritising that was more important at the time.

My car's due the MOT this month and god knows if I can afford to fix it if anything needs fixing

Vet bills are creeping up

I'm missing out on going to a LARP I was really looking forward to because I can't afford the fee or the travel expenses

And I'm just so frustrated, I hate worrying about money, I was doing well, I was in a good place financially, and then shitty workplaces triggered all the goddamn trauma and now I'm right back at the beginning again. Money is such a crap reason to have to worry about, I have so many more important things but nooo, gotta throw imaginary nonsense at the people in power so I can afford the basic necessities 😐

The very phrase "cost of living" makes me fucking angry because there shouldn't BE a cost of living, let alone a cost of living crisis, and the fact that I'm considered a radical leftist thinking that is GROSS. I hate it. "Existing shouldn't be conditional on productivity" shouldn't be a fucking controversial statement but here we are.

It's all fucking shit 🥲

At least there are cats, though. 🐈‍⬛

Thanks for listening to my rambles.

[redbloodprose]

WIP INTRO: PROJECT GUTS

When Adam is pieced together and resurrected, his only purpose is to be his creator Jupiter's unkillable servant in their plot to usurp the throne from their cousin the king. But as they and Jupiter's childhood friend Eivind work together, all three become tangled in a web of intrigue, revenge, violence, and longing. But magic, like love, is a slippery thing—and nothing can stay alive forever. Especially not something that's already died.

do you like body horror? do you hate the government and the healthcare system? do you love seeing queer people commit horrific crimes? do you want more autistic, queer, trans, nonbinary, and polyam rep? then oh boy do i have the story for you!

genre: ya dark fantasy pov: third person present tense, multi pov themes: community, rage, healing yourself by tearing yourself apart, gore and love, death and rebirth, learning how to live with your grief, magic as science, making the world a better place at any fucking cost pinterest: here main playlist: here wip page: here

main characters:

adam, it/he/they, queer, trans man, age extremely unclear. a patchwork corpse brought to life by jupiter and eivind. has no idea who he was before this and doesn't really want to know. playlist. æsger jupiter, they/them, queer, agender, 18. ameteur scientist and heir to the throne of æverheim—give or take a few people. autistic and extremely picky about the clothes they wear. playlist. kåre eivind, he/him, queer, cis man, 18. literally just a guy. so very normal. works as a gravedigger after moving to the capital with jupiter. playlist.

side characters:

auhild kent, he/she, bisexual, bigender, 23. a lesser noble assigned as jupiter's mentor. has dirt on most of the court because of how many of them he's slept with. innya ranveig, she/her, lesbian, cis woman, 19. eivind's roommate and fellow gravedigger. has no fucking clue what's going on but at least she doesn't ask questions.

the art is by my friend jay on twitter; please go check them out! if anyone's interested i am more than happy to answer questions and/or add people to the tag list!

[outsidereveries]

What is your opinions about the life as liberal ?

The american are hidden depressive,i hope they get better with less stress life and no true capitalism .

honestly? everyone should think liberal.

i think in this way because almost everyone ordinary person apparently promotes to be as much liberal as possible with what they really want when politicians really hate this because they don’t say their truth (i write this in general).

there are little politicians who talk really freely, who talk what they really want and most important, who talk the truth. the normal politician should be liberal and has to respect even their enemies.

about the americans in usa (who mainly aren’t native ones, to be exact) they have the specific issue that everything costs money, when they must have at least some basic needs to be offered for free. as a bulgarian who sees there are politicians in my country who wants oddly this american thing to happen, this is really fucked up and not everything has to cost even one cent. it’s obvious why they’re workaholics (mostly, of course): because they don’t have the basic needs that have to cost nothing!! you want to give birth? it costs money. you have to remove something in your teeth? costs money! you want to be checked by doctor? okay, but after 3 months or so. and after that? it still costs money!! it isn’t suprising they are stressed workaholics and still there are some people who don’t work at all and still can afford anything they need, they actually are the best one there bc they at least don’t have the stress most people living in the usa have.

about capitalism, i am not informed this much about it, but my honest opinion is that it should be removed anywhere in this form. the country has to give money to receive more money and then again and again, bc it’s a cycle. and now this cycle doesn’t help at all! (overall)

usa’s issue is they mess with every country. if they don’t mess everything and everyone up and they start look at its own problems, everything will be at least a bit better. depends who rule i guess🤷🏻‍♀️

in conclusion, everyone should at least look at alternative medias, bc everything isn’t what it seems :) (i’d say in europe/north america but depends imo)

[crystaltoa]

To me, the two things are inextricably related.

The absolute worst thing about Being A Real Adult Who Cares About Their Future is that I’m nowhere near as kind as I used to be. I used to be so spontaneously, recklessly kind and give my money, effort and time freely to someone who needed it. I wasn’t rich. I just only cared if I could pay my expenses for the month and wasn’t mature enough to think further ahead.

Now that I work full time and think about buying a house and being able to retire one day, I’ve lost that. I don’t have the extra energy for volunteer projects because work leaves me exhausted. Letting go of money for any reason feels painful because it could be getting me closer to being able to retire. If I do give money, it’s often because I feel miserable in the face of others’ suffering, and it doesn’t give me any satisfaction any more, even when I think of it bringing happiness, or at least relief to others. It’s just depressingly little in the face of so much.

And I’m so, so suspicious that any display of kindness will be exploited, like whether a charity will sell my data to others, or whether being seen helping a vulnerable person will lead to me being pestered by people for more and more favours. And I hate how defensive and cynical it has made me.

When you’re young, you feel like you’ll be able to go on like that forever, confident that if you run out of money, you can just go make some more, rinse and repeat forever. Now I live with the knowledge that one day my body or mind could just crap out on me and leave me unable to just go make more. It’s a reality that feels more and more real every day. It’s happened to plenty of friends and colleagues, and some were younger than me.

I’ll never be the naive and spontaneous person I used to be. But if I magically became a millionaire overnight, I could stick my million in a high interest CD to bring in a steady income and not have to worry about my own future ever again. And because I wouldn’t have to worry about myself, there would be more room in my head and more time in my schedule and more energy in my entire body for being kind and generous without the attached anxiety of ‘but what if I suddenly have to live off my savings.’

The flipside is, if I became a millionaire through more realistic methods, the process of getting there by scrimping and saving every cent for decades and probably making a few ethically questionable investments, would make me even more stingy, cynical and miserly than I am already. I don’t think I could even enjoy my own wealth if I’d conditioned myself to obsess over money to that extent, much less want to give it away to make others happy. Get your own million, bah humbug!

There are many people who are doing it tough right now, so I can’t really complain about my own situation. But just… fuck what capitalism and money stress and burnout and the cost of living have done to me. Because I think it’s happening to all of us, on some level. It’s just harder to act on the inherently good parts of our nature, express our actual humanity, when uncertainty has left us in pre-emptive survival mode, like some scared little animal tucking supplies away for a winter that may never end.

[cheemy-creese-sauce]

unhinged vent post

idk if these are bad person thoughts or not so pls be nice to me if u see a bad person thought and politely let me know that it has bad person connotations without telling me i'm a villain pls thank you

anyways i know we all hate capitalism and voting w your dollar is the most important vote and you should never spend money on things that u like because somebody evil is using your money to be evil so u should only ever enjoy the things u like if they are free or can be stolen.

it's morally reprehensible to spend money on anything that wasn't a totally independent project and you still have to do a background check on all the indie creators u wanna buy from bc what if they're a bad person. i wanna make stuff and inspire others but if i make something through the help of a big business then everyone will steal my thing because the Big Business will make money, but if i make something independently (which is so taxing and soul crushing and draining) then i might see a cent of the thing i made but i had to do All the Work of Making, Advertising, Selling/Shipping, Presenting and i'm probably not getting fairly compensated for all the extra work bc no one will buy independently produced things if they cost the appropriate amount of money for an independently produced thing.

i have to be constantly aware of the Capitalism Rules and also the Anti-Capitalism Rules and they're both really fucking tiring and annoying and I just wanna be able to live.

why do we have to spend every single day grappling with the moral consequences of being alive. my being alive requires that i participate in harmful systems that perpetuate hate and poverty and death and oppression but it's a requirement that i patronize the walmart bc there are no small markets near me with the specific shit i need. it's a requirement that i buy fast fashion bc all the thrift stores near me increased their prices due to the latest "thrifty trends" so i can't afford anything else. it's a requirement that i have a stupid cell phone that actual literal children Died to make because if i don't have one of these, i can't have a job or regular contact with my loved ones.

anyways i'm sad that i have to engage in systems and behaviors that i know are bad. it makes me want to throw myself off the roof of the empire state building.

[vtori73]

Okay... I get how "how will trains work under anarchy?," is a question coming from a consumerist position...

But how the fuck is "how will insulin be made?" considered an equivalent the above? Like, sure, I don't doubt there are able-bodied people who use it as a "gotcha" BUT I think disabled people are genuinely asking because it's not like capitalism (what encourages & needs consumerism) has their backs so why would they believe anarchism will? A good chunk of them are honestly pretty aware of how shit capitalism and consumerism is considering they are one of those groups most affected by it. Accessible items, buildings, etc aren't prioritized because our consumerist society doesn't want to waste money on a group that supposedly "barely" exists in society. Hell, remember when able bodied people were complaining that accessibility laws were just put in place to punish store owners & whoever else and NOT to make it possible for disabled people, who exist, to be able to do LITERALLY anything outside their home. Also, the only way disabled can get cheap accessible items is if they are marketed towards consumers who are able-bodied because otherwise it won't get made or will but cost WAY too much because it is a "specialized" item and disabled people tend very much more often then not be poor because that what happens when you don't function like able-bodied people do in a capitalist society. Probably plenty of other things I could add on as well but just can't think of or don't know.

But anyway, yeah I think it might be just a tad disingenuous or just straight up ableist to make comparisons on transportation vs drugs that people need to live. I can get it that in a different form of society that trains wouldn't be a necessity maybe a want and a convenience but not a necessity due to people not having to work to gain money to be able live in our current one but... again, how does that AT ALL compare to a drug that some people will ALWAYS need, not want, but NEED to live? Honestly, the comparison even almost puts forth the idea/notion that capitalism & a consumerist society is the reason people need insulin to begin with & that they somehow magically won't if some other form of society is in place. Which... Idk, seems like ableist thinking but idk maybe I'm off the mark.

Anyway, that is all, I will admit I'm not the most knowledgeable person on these kinds of things, my understanding is much more basic than most so Ill admit I could be completely wrong and missing something but what I will say is I see ableism all the time from leftist spaces, everyone is willing to throw disabled people under the bus for any small criticisms or grievances they have and many who are "progressive" will scapegoat this as just the rights opinions and ideals or a step further and blame it all on how our current society functions (aka capitalism & such) but in actuality you don't need to be or believe in any of that to be an eugenic ableist you just need to hate disabled peoples existence, that's really all it takes.

Hmm... curious also as to why this type of question is about insulin? What about chemo, or seizure medication, or what about even glasses? Why is insulin the one that's getting singled out? ...curious, indeed.

[snat-snailcat]

I had some stupid epitome this past weekend. Like, it was an obvious train of thought that just hit me so much harder.

In a more walkable part of town, where some streets were closed off to allow only bikes, so that pedestrians could move about freely, I was amazed at the number of restaurants on the block filled with people. It was a Saturday, so of course people would be out and enjoying themselves! But after living in US Suburbia for the past few years (and most of my childhood), there was something incredible about three different coffee shops, all locally owned, sharing the same block with each other, a number of bars, bistros, art galleries. And I thought to myself, "How are they all staying in business?"

Because in my hometown, we would often see a cute little shop go up one summer just to be gone by the next- so many businesses start up and fail, it's just a fact. But then the train hit me-

If I was only spending, say, 20% of my monthly income on rent, I could afford to not cook every meal. Not just eat out at fancy places - I could afford to just pick up dinner of my way home. If I had enough to not stress about groceries, I would actually think about going places with friends more! All these people enjoying themselves as I walked and contemplated things made me feel like everything I wanted was so, so close.

I can't think of the last time I did something as simple as going bowling, or minigolf- activities that aren't luxuries at all really. These are just things that people of any bracket should have the means to do every few months. When is the last time I paid to see a movie? Or take a class? When is the last time I was able to actually let myself do something that cost just a little bit of money? Probably Ren Faire, and that's once or twice a year.

I hate capitalism, I hate profit motives, I do. But if someone wanted an economy like this to work, surely they would see that everyone in that economy needs money in order for it to function. If people can't afford to buy dinner on their way home, that's another restaurant that can't stay open. If everyone is pinching pennies because groceries take up the majority of one paycheck a month that doesn't go to rent, then it's no wonder why they wouldn't be visiting the local bowling alley or whatever.

Again, it's not a new idea whatsoever, but it had never struck me so hard.

Economists be blabbing on about the oncoming recession and the various versions of economic stagnation paired with extreme inflation. But they ignore the fucking mammoth in the room- under the current system, people require money to survive, and when survival is difficult, they are going to use less of that money on things seen as extraneous. We prioritize our rent and our food, because we need those to live, and things like going out and enjoying life are tossed to the side. And it could be so simple! If you want to keep this system where money has to move around in order for it to function, give people some money!

And if it's too hard to write a check to every person, it can start at taking less money. I spend about 45% of my monthly income right now on rent. 15-25% goes to groceries and household items. about 10-20% between student loans and car insurance. Imagine if only rent was capped at 20%. Suddenly I have enough every month to support another café on my lunch break instead of making my own beverage, and I can interact with people. Suddenly I don't feel like a melon baller has been used on my stomach every time I stop to pick up dinner somewhere. In this dream world, I can tip a barista an extra $2-3, and everyone else can to (tipping culture is stupid but that's another rant). That's another few dollars in the pocket of a worker, of a local business owner, and it moves around.

There's a joke among artists who sell at cons/fairs/markets about the same $5 that gets passed around. Someone goes to my booth and buys a sticker, and I turn around, same bill in hand, to buy from them.

It is just nice to imagine a world where we can do that. Where we all can have enough extra to offer to buy someone their breakfast, to repaint our rooms or finally replace a broken piece of furniture without feeling guilty at the cost. To host people over without feeling like you need to ask them to contribute because you're barely scraping by, and where they bring something anyways, not out of obligation, but because they also want to share in what they have.

Didn't mean to hijack a post, but it's just been on my mind. What if we did just give everyone that money. Forever. It literally could not cause anything to get worse.

there have been 774664 studies on basic income and the results of every single one have been “wow! we gave people money and literally everything improved! crime rates are down! the actual sky is bluer! my (the researcher’s) wife decided not to leave me after all!” but these have all been short studies, just a couple years. i think what’s really missing from the field is a proper long form study, with a broader, bolder demographic, to really get us those numbers we need. a truly diverse study pool like, say, everyone. forever

[cryptometaphor]

So we were on the go'mmunist stream and of course imma defend Sarah even when we all know I'm a cynical liberal lol

Boomer: Capitalism made your iphone (ACP reeees)

Sarah: No... Labor made the iphone. Isms just determine who gets paid for it.

Boomer: You get paid to work unless you live in China

ACP admin: You don't know shit about China

Sarah: The labor theory of value even states plainly wage is theft. A fraction of the worth of the goods and services is paid for to us only bare minimum while the rest goes to thieves

Me: Based

Sarah: Hon not now lol

Me: I mean under communism iphones wouldn't even be a thing

Boomer: Exactly

Me: AND HERE'S WHY THAT'S A GOOD THING

ACP Admin: Oh boy lol

Boomer: Yeah yeah I've heard you talk before. You hate moderators and getting banned

Me: No bitch, you don't get it. Technology as you interact with it would be completely different. Sarah is arguing the labor theory of value, I'm arguing a different Marxist point: Material conditions. Conditions determine the culture, the setting, and future of technology. Tech is a big part of my tisms. The Soviets had their own set of home computers and mostly focused on stock trades, columns, and calculations. You wouldn't have video game and social media slop as the foundation of your tech.

Boomer: So what you're saying is communists hate fun. We're still agreeing.

Me: I'm saying that things would be totally different. Like I've theorized of an intronet North Korea plays around with and was experimented with in the 80s. Localized internet. That's how your Gameboys used to work. This wouldn't compromise billions of user data nor leave any reason to track them. Thus if you value privacy and free speech, that'd be the way to do it.

Sarah: Get him babe!

Me: Furthermore the cost would be pennies. I remember when internet was ten dollars a year because dialup was so slow to crank up but once I was online, a little drizzle outside didn't fuck it up, it didn't suddenly crash unless someone picked up the phone to call, it worked practically. Communism does advocate practical usage. Capitalism should do if it was founded on the basis of profit or convenience. But it's not. It's just humiliation, annoyance, and Jews.

ACP Admin: Was the Jew part necessary lol

Boomer: Well than get a different provider

Me: You dumb bitch you didn't listen to a word I said. Systemically it's this way. It's designed to be bad. It's designed with the intention in mind "we hate you, we want you to die, but not before you work your ass off." Thing is: I hate you, I want you to die, you're fucking stupid. And now you're gonna pay me crypto for being so stupid. I expect 200 XRP by the end of this stream.

Sarah: Don't you hate XRP?

Me: It went up like +720% do to some glitch

Sarah: Oh wow

Boomer: I ain't paying you shit

Me: Then get the fuck out of here boomer

Boomer: I thought you believe in free speech?

Me: You don't. So get the fuck out or pay me

Boomer: What does what I believe have or have not to do with...

Me: Don't care, you suck, your wife is a whore, go awau

Boomer: You can leave my wife out of this

Me: Your wife is ugly. Your kids are ugly too. Your dog is ugly and should be ran over. Pay me or gtfo

Boomer: YOU'RE A RUDE LITTLE TROLL

Me: gtfo

Boomer: You only talk this way because you're safely behind a monitor capitalism made

Me: Gtfo

Boomer: You wouldn't say this shit to my face

Me: Gtfo

Boomer: How'd you like it if I talked about your girlfriend that way? Sarah is ugly.

Me: I'd doxx you and people would be calling your house sexually harassing your gorilla wife. Gtfo.

Boomer: AND THAN I'D SUE YOU

Me: No you wouldn't. Gtfo

Sarah: lol!

Boomer: I... The fuck you mean no I wouldn't? Yes I would.

Me: No you wouldn't, you're dumb and don't know how, gtfo.

(boomer leaves)

Me: Fucking dumb ass

Sarah: Babe that was amazing

Me: You're amazing. Sarah: You are.

ACP Admin: Ya both are holding up half the sky lol

[lastoneout]

Like I need y'all to realize that "a laptop costs as much as a new iphone" isn't a valid argument because people do not drop $900 all at once on a phone. The phone company gives you the phone for like one fourth the price or less upfront and then you pay it off for a few years alongside your phone bill. Also, most people, if forced to chose between a smart phone and a computer are going to pick the smart phone. That's just the world we live in now.

But you can't really do the whole pay it off slowly with a laptop(unless you go through like Rent a Center or something similar and you really shouldn't do that, or go into credit card debt which is also not great). And yes there are cheap laptops(and most of them suck ass and break after a year), but if someone genuinely doesn't need one(bcs capitalism has pushed us away from needing computers to instead doing everything through apps on phones and tablets which is a massive problem but is also still HAPPENING and growing up like that isn't gen z and alpha's fault) and maybe only thinks about computers in terms of like custom built gaming towers used by big twitch streamers or the pc their dad bought to work from home on then yeah a computer is out of their budget and they are probably going to think people who own one are rich even tho the VAST MAJORITY of people save up to buy their computers or slowly over a long period purchase all the parts they need to build one or got it gifted to them by a family member who actually does have a lot of disposable income or literally had it handed to them by their job or bought it with a credit card.

This isn't a "haha zoomers are out of touch idiots" post. This is a "owning anything nice, be it a computer or designer clothes or a car or whatever does not mean you're rich" post. Because "anyone who owns even one nice thing must not actually be poor" is an old as dirt conservative talking point used to deny impoverished people the aid they so desperately need, and I HATE seeing leftists use it because no one ever fucking explained to them that owning a PS5 doesn't make you on par with fucking Elon Musk or Taylor Swift.

People saying only rich people own computers are wrong, but not because computers are cheap, it's because computers aren't always prohibitively expensive and often times are gifts or were bought before the person fell into poverty or with their stimulus check or whatever. People shouting eat the rich at the average poor person who managed to scrape together a few hundred bucks for a shitty laptop or got half a computer gifted to them by friends and only had to buy a few parts aren't the rich we should be eating.

And those of you saying "computers aren't even that expensive good lord these out of touch gen z idiots need to go back to school" are fucking wrong bcs computers ARE expensive and in a world pivoting so hard to tablets and phones a lot of people straight up don't need one and will thus probably assume it's a worthless, frivolous purchase made only by people who have disposable income, and while I can very much understand being exasperated by that argument(I am currently very exasperated if you couldn't tell) acting like kids are stupid and need to shut up isn't actually solving the problem.

The only people who are actually out of touch are the ones who are mad that I didn't include people who don't own computers in my post about owning computers. The bean soup types. Make fun of them, I won't stop you. But this is like the clearest example of the generational divide and how older leftists have failed to explain to the younger folks amongst us that we have legit had to spend years listening to conservatives critiquing poor people for using their food stamps to buy a bag of gummy bears or owning a fucking refrigerator and saying every poor person should sell all of their belongings before even considering signing up for government aid, and that's NOT a valid argument. Y'all sound like the assholes who get mad at homeless people for owning cell phones, you can't doctor that argument until it's progressive, it's INHERENTLY flawed.

Poor people own nice things sometimes, that doesn't make them rich. And in this day and age a lot of people don't need computers and thus will naturally think owning one means you clearly have disposable income because they don't know that having some disposable income isn't the same thing as being a billionaire. And the first group being so condescending to second group(because yeah nothing changes people's minds like blatant condescension) isn't solving any fucking problems. Explain why it's wrong. Don't just assume gen z is stupid for not being taught how to view class and poverty.

Okay everyone shut the fuck up now, I'm done.

This website is too mobile focused these days. Reblog and tell me what your desktop/laptop background is.

[sureuncertainty]

not adding to the post i saw bc i don’t want to get into discourse (so pls don’t discourse with this either) but i really don’t think that the chick fil a outrage can be compared to the wizard game, like i get what you’re trying to say but I don’t think it’s a fair comparison.

maybe this is me just being defensive bc chick fil a is literally one of the only restaurants in my area that i can safely eat and that doesn’t fuck up my order or take 10000 years in the drive through or cost an arm and a leg, its consistent and reliable and i literally have an eating disorder and am extremely poor, looking for alternatives is hard and costly and usually ends up with me either not eating or eating poorly, wasting money, and feeling awful about myself. like yes i’m sure i COULD find alternatives but that takes spoons and it’s a very high risk situation, and i don’t always have the energy to cook either

y’all have to understand that this isn’t just “an inconvenience” sometimes it’s literally the difference between me eating dinner or not, like something being easy for you is not the same as it being easy for everyone, and when it comes to FOOD which is necessary for survival, that’s different than when it comes to ENTERTAINMENT. yes there are alternatives to chick fil a, but accessing alternatives is not as simple as you make it sound. i try my best but I can’t always succeed. in my area there are a LOT of extremely shitty fast food places that fuck up my order and cost a lot and take 112982398 years to get bc they’re all understaffed and underpaid, so sorry that I go to the one place that’s on my way home from work that I can count on will actually make my order within 5-10 minutes

the main annoying thing to me about the game is the way that people still can’t let h*rry p*tter go, it’s a GAME. it’s also the people that are BRAGGING about playing the game that piss me off. i don’t go online and brag about eating chick fil a (unless that’s how you wanna see this post)  i just feel guilty about it all the time bc of posts like that, which adds to my feelings of guilt and fear and shame that already surround eating on a daily basis for me so thanks for that ig? 

and before you say it’s my job to get over it (i literally saw someone on that post say ‘i don’t care if it’s your safe food‘ like fuck you actually), you don’t know me or my life or my mental illness or my reasons for doing things. i have ARFID which is not my job to explain you can look it up if you’re curious. and yeah it’s not the same as no ethical consumption under capitalism whatever when there are alternatives, but the only reason the chick fil a thing got big was because it got out where they were sending their money. believe me there are LOTS AND LOTS of fast food organizations and companies that are directly donating to hateful places and republican politicians and christians and bigots etc. they just aren’t talked about as much.

and y’know what i’ll go ahead and say it, fast food IS accessibility for me, it’s important to have places where I can go and spend a little bit of money and get a meal that’s ready to eat without requiring me to prepare it or create dishes. where i used to live, we also had chick fil a and I never went there because we had alternatives that I could eat, that were safe and affordable. Now that I live in an area that does not have easily accessible safe affordable alternatives, I go there sometimes. and this is not a fair comparison to a video game founded on antisemitism and transphobia. 

that being said maybe i’m just getting defensive bc i am betraying my community and a horrible person whatever, believe what you want about me but i’m just saying that there are aspects that you have to consider, and your experiences are not universal. Believe me, there are other things I do to support my community, I can’t fight every single battle, and just bc this one happened to get more outrage doesn’t mean that I deserve to be shamed and treated like i’m just avoiding taking accountability or doing what’s convenient for me for occasionally eating one of my safe foods in an area with surprisingly limited options for safe and affordable actual fast food for being such a touristy city. believe me i’ve tried alternatives. and i try to do Mod Pizza more often than CFA, (those are my two safe fast food options nearby), but Mod is also more expensive, requires me to get out of my car and interact with people, and also takes a lot longer. those are not always possible for me.

not that i have to defend myself or my choices to anyone, i just wanted to make this post to tell my followers (pls don’t reblog it or let it breach containment i can’t deal with that) that it’s more complicated than this black and white issue people are making it out to be. think what you want about me but i have my reasons and I don’t think it’s doing anyone any favors to shame members of the community who are poor and disabled for doing what we have to do to survive and i REALLY don’t think it’s fair to compare something like food to something like entertainment

[kayas-kosmos]

Autism Symbol Dragon.

This is the autism symbol as a dragon. I did this to represent the influence my autism has on my art. This is a public domain drawing and anyone can use it for any reason.

I really like the infinity autism symbol over all others, especially the Godawful puzzle piece. It really encapsulates the diversity of our community and how unique every autistic individual is. But I wanted to do a little spin on it by turning it into a dragon to add some extra meaning. A dragon to me is the symbol of the imagination itself, since dragons are so diverse in of themselves and can look like or represent anything. But as well as imagination, I think the dragon also represent resilience and a ferocious passion.

My webcomic is absolutely full of different types of dragon. Here are just a few examples:

(Can you tell dragons are one of my special interests?)

I was diagnosed at about 3 and I've had a very mixed relationship with being autistic until recently. There was a time when I really hated having to bear the label of “autistic” and tried for years to erase that part of me because of the stigma. Being an artist allowed me to get away with being a bit weird because I could chalk it up to just being "an eccentric artist," but there was also the side of me that needed extra accommodations and help, the less glamorous side. I would often push myself to be as neurotypical as I could in these areas and I developed a debilitating fear of becoming a burden on others, to the point where it started damaging my mental health. Eventually, I developed panic attacks due to overworking myself (and struggles with accepting myself as queer), autistic shutdowns became more frequent and this lead to further humiliation and a further disgust towards my autism.

It wasn't until I became a freelancer a few years ago that I realised how much damage trying to hold myself to neurotypical standards was having on me. While being able to work remotely was a dream since it meant not having to deal with the sensory nightmare that is using the local bus service, it also meant I experienced autistic burnout more frequently. Then I came across the autistic community on Twitter, where I started to discover so much about myself and how my brain works.

I also made a lot of incredible friends through this and even had the courage to publicly come out as queer. Now I fully embrace being autistic, even the parts that society deems “unacceptable” like stimming and not making eye contact. I am happy in who I am and no longer see myself as a burden.

Sadly, there is often a discussion about whether autism should be cured or not, a discussion that should absolutely not be happening because autism is not a disease. If you "cured" my autism, you would also remove my art. My art and my autism are inseparable and one does not exist without the other. Autism has given me the ability to think outside the box and traits like my monotropism allow me to hyperfocus on a project until its completion. Having spoken to many autistic creatives throughout my life, a good chunk of our struggles do not come from being autistic itself, rather society’s refusal to accept or accommodate us. Many of us could achieve great things and truly innovate society, but there are too many systemic barriers in the way preventing us from doing so, and no amount of “hard work” or “conquering our disability” (fuck inspiration porn, seriously) can change that because individualistic solutions do not fix systemic problems. Simple solutions such as disability benefits that actually properly cover our living costs, a higher wage for carers of disabled people and proper work accommodations (including the option for remote work) would mean the world of difference for us.

Now personally, I am a bit more radical in my thinking and I believe the current system of Neoliberal Capitalism needs to be done away with entirely because ableism is built into Capitalism itself. This is what has drawn me to ideas such as anarchism and the Solarpunk movement. In particular, I try to live by the "12 principles of Permaculture" to the best of my ability. I think "Embrace Diversity" and "Produce No Waste" can be applied to living as a disabled person, since disabled people are often seen as a waste product under this system and embracing our differences means we are not wasted.

For those of you who have followed me for a while, you may have noticed that my art, like me, is weird. I love to embrace the weird and the quirky. My creatures are whimsical and bizarre. My characters all tend to be quirky outsiders. I have always been drawn to surrealism and absurdism, the work of Salvador Dali in particular really caught my attention.

Art has always been a safe way for me to explore the unusual and alien, and it has been a voice for me when speaking words fail. I use it to explore the things that frighten me and to help process a chaotic world. As weird as my art is, I think the weirdness and absurdity is a reflection of how weird and absurd our modern world is and how little sense it makes to me anymore.

There are often themes of environmentalism and the profound beauty of nature, influenced heavily by growing up in an area of natural beauty. Furthermore, the theme of "empathy for monsters" is a personal favourite. Maybe the reason why there are so many weird, twisted and grotesque monsters and creatures with tragic backstories in my webcomic universe is because I see myself in them - just weird little off-putting things that want compassion and to be understood.

As I have grown as a person, so has my art. The more I learn about my autism, the more I can open up and the better I can express myself.

On a final note, if you would like to support me and the work I do, please consider donating a Ko-Fi. It would really help me push towards my goal of finally launching my webcomic, plus it would also allow me to talk more about important topics surrounding disability, sustainable living and art/creature stuff.

Happy new year, everyone! And especially to all of my autistic and neurodivergent comrades out there.