#fucking LOVE this au. so i broke out of my shame because i NEEDED to make art. sorry not sorry followers you should check out the au

[biblicallyaccurateandrogynoussex]

Decided to do some doodles of @ask-liam-p's au because I'm incredibly normal about it. Also sodanailpack because sodanailpack is peak

[myownwholewildworld]

uniformed!joel one shot - the police officer - part ii

part i | series masterlist | main masterlist

pairing: police officer!joel x f!reader.

summary: what? you really thought officer miller was done with you? 🙄 don't be so naive. he's going to make good use of that cell he's thrown you in.

a/n: am i a rabid dog who needs to be put down? yes i am. you'll find me taking a walk and touching some grass because oh boy 🥵 please enjoy part ii to police officer!joel. as always, all interactions are welcome! i'd love some feedback if you feel like sharing. yea, that's everything i gotta say, i'll go hide under a rock now. thank you for reading! <3

warnings: 18+, mdni. no outbreak AU. dark theme. a hella lot of unhealthy smut. dub-con. age gap, no age gap, you choose (joel is mid-late 40s, reader is at least of legal drinking age). power imbalance (joel is a cop). object insertion (oopsie 🥴). fingering. squirting. oral (m and f receiving). strong sub/dom vibes. mouth fucking. slut shaming. cheating. reader talks to boyfriend while being drilled. unprotected piv. creampie. overall, rough, filthy sex. joel is a bully and a dick, basically, so be warned. alternating pov. no description of reader apart from having hair that can be pulled. not proofread so i'm sorry.

w/c: ~7.7k (someone put me down, seriously).

tagging some people who seemed interested in part 2 (please let me know if you want to be removed, no pressure!):

@cestlavieinrenaissance @ijustlovemensm @fartcloudfartcloud

Joel looked through the rearview mirror. You were sat on the middle seat of his cruiser, silent and with your gaze down. You almost looked like you regretted what had happened, but he knew you had actually enjoyed it. Your slutty moans and your squirting cunt spoke for yourself ― the proof of your ecstasy still staining his uniform’s trousers.

He adjusted the mirror, paying more attention to you than to the road. Luckily, it was well past midnight, so there were not many cars around. You had parted your legs, probably on purpose, and gifted him with the sight of your tight pussy. Joel wished the interior of the car was better lit, so he could have a good look at your cunt.

Ah, yes, he knew you wanted more. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be exposing yourself like that to him. His cock twitched at the memory of being clamped down on by your narrow pussy, deeply buried in between your puffy lips. Joel bit the inside of his cheek, focusing his eyes on the road ahead.

“Is my cum spilling out of your hole?”, he broke the silence.

You felt the guilt eating you up. You shouldn’t have pushed Officer Miller’s buttons like that. You blamed the last drops of alcohol running through your veins that had distorted your reality ��� as soon as they disappeared from your system, you had realised that you didn’t want what was about to happen. However, your body had betrayed you, reacting to him and his provocations.

I’m not a cheater. I’m not a whore, you chanted, keeping the tears at bay.

But deep inside, you knew you were just lying to yourself. You blamed your body, but the reality was you did enjoy it ― all of it, everything he gave you, everything he took from you. You had never been so turned on in your life ― never squirted before, never had your pussy eaten so filthily from behind, never been used like that.

You pursed your lips, eyes down and still daydreaming about him fucking you senseless ― you unsuccessfully attempted to erase those hot flashes that your mind was trying to take you back to. Unconsciously, your legs had relaxed with your train of thought, and that was when you heard Officer Miller’s question.

You jumped in your seat and pressed your knees together, suddenly very conscious of your pussy. You could feel you had gotten wet again at the mere thought of him jackhammering into your cunt on top of the hood. Once more, you felt betrayed ― you didn’t want to feel like this, you didn’t want to be this horny for him.

You slowly nodded in reply, ashamed of yourself ― your unwelcomed slick dragging his cum out of you. But you wouldn’t tell him that, you wouldn’t let him know that your hole was crying for more.

“I― I think I’m making a mess of the upholstery. Sorry.”

Why did your voice sound so high-pitched, so moany? You needed to get a grip of yourself or you were going to end up impaled again. You kept your eyes down, avoiding his ― tears of frustration gathering on your waterlines.

“Only with my cum? Or are you gushing again, doll?”, he questioned with a husky voice.

You knew he was getting horny again ― your nipples reacted to that thought, wrinkling suddenly, your breathing accelerating.

You shyly looked up at him, your gazes meeting on the rearview mirror. His eyes pierced through you and you felt exposed ― there was no point in denying it, you knew he knew. So you nodded again with watery eyes.

“Yes, sorry”, you apologised, although you were not sure why.

“Yes what?”, he insisted, his attention dancing between the road and you.

“I’m― I’m gushing”, you replied in a very low whisper, so abashed a tear ran down your cheek.

Officer Miller didn’t say a word for the rest of the trip to the station, so you had more than enough time to dwell in your embarrassment.

Joel’s horniness was clouding his mind to a dangerous degree, so he summoned all his strength to drive the damn car instead of stopping in the middle of nowhere to fuck you again. After fifteen eternal minutes, he braked as he steered into the parking lot of the station. Then the cruiser came to a halt.

He had to cup his swollen bulge, kneading it a bit, in the hopes it wouldn’t be too noticeable. What a little minx you were, confessing your pussy was leaking all over the seat. You were acting all sheepish now, guilt-ridden, but Joel knew what you really wished for. And that was getting your cunt drilled again.

Walking out of the car, Joel got to the back door and opened it up for you. He extended his hand to help you out of the car, all gentlemanly. But when you grabbed it indecisively, he hauled you out of his Crown Vic. You gasped at his brutish manners, but quickly closed your mouth when your breasts pressed against his chest.

Joel hurried his hand down, riding up your skirt a bit, his fingertips caressing your inner thighs. You looked at him, a mix of surprise and shame, when he dipped his fingers in your silky slit. He moved them up and down a couple of times, buttering your fold with your discharge and his cum. You panted at his contact and your forehead leaned against his chest as if your neck was unable to support the weight of your head anymore.

You were so receptive to his touch, Joel had to control himself. If he could, he would turn you around, bend you over and fuck into your hole until dawn. But another patrol car entered the parking lot, stopping a few metres away. He scoffed in frustration, reluctantly removing his hand from in between your legs.

Stop, don’t, please stop, you wanted to tell him.

But the words never abandoned your mouth, stuck in the back of your throat. His fingers stroked you so intimately, so good, you couldn’t muster the strength to stop him. And, if you were completely honest with yourself, deep down you hoped he didn’t. When his digits traced your whole damp furrow, you tilted your head towards him ― your lips pressed against the pocket where he had kept your panties, in an attempt to mute the moan that wanted to slip out of your mouth.

And then he unburied his hand, leaving you spiralling down with lust. You whimpered, vexed. Your eyes were still half-lidded with desire, your mouth agape. Officer Miller took a step back, breaking all physical contact with you.

“You really are a harlot”, he muttered while the hand that had explored your pussy dipped in his pants, and you knew he was spreading your gush all over his cock. That should have disgusted you, and it did, but your pussy fluttered in response.

“Please don’t say that, and don’t do that again”, you were finally able to find your words.

He cocked a brow while taking out his hand of his trousers. You didn’t look down, although you wanted to. The thought of him wet with your tacky cum destroyed a few neurons in your brain.

“Your mouth says no, but your cunt says yes. And I believe your cunt more than I believe your mouth”, he announced, unbothered by your petition.

Then he rolled down your skirt, grabbed you by the elbow, and forced you to walk in front of him. But first Officer Miller got something out of the passenger’s seat ―your purse and the paperwork― before he pushed you towards the station with your hands still cuffed.

You pondered your options when the female officer on the counter greeted Officer Miller.

“Hey Joel, another drunken bird?”, she asked, her blue eyes ignoring you completely.

“Yeah, that’s a Saturday for ya”, he said boringly, his fingers still sinking in the flesh of your elbow while he handed her your license and insurance.

“I’ll book her in for you”, said the woman, looking down at the paperwork spread on her desk.

You wanted to say something, to ask her not to leave you alone with him, to tell her what had happened. But what were you going to say, really? That you actually enjoyed being fucked stupid on top of his cruiser’s hood? That you were still wet, the dampness in your fold begging to be licked again?

While still debating, you felt Officer Miller ―now you knew his name was Joel― staring at you. He probably suspected what you were thinking, it was like he could smell fear. You dropped your eyes to inspect your bare feet, silently letting him know that you wouldn’t say a word. If you had had a peek at him, you would have seen his sly grin.

“All the cells here are full, you’ll have to go to the adjacent building, I’m afraid.” You thought the female officer winked at him.

“That’s alright. Thank you, darlin’”, he smiled at her before pushing you in front of him. “C’mon, move.”

You shambled towards the backdoor, walked out and then Joel― Officer Miller opened the door to the secondary building. You entered with him on your heels. His body was so close to yours, you felt a pleasant tingling start on your neck that shot down your spine. You cockled your lips, disappointed in yourself.

The room was not too big, it only housed four cells, all of them empty. The only decoration was a wooden desk with a chair for a police officer to be stationed. There was also a small room at the end, which had a unisex bathroom sign on its door.

You didn’t like how isolated it felt in there ― you had hoped there would be someone else in there with you. To stop him, to stop yourself. You really were out of luck.

Officer Miller pushed you to the furthest cell in the room. “Stay”, he commanded while he uncuffed you, then grabbed the keys off a metal hook, unlocked the cell and opened the door for you. “Be my guest, doll”, his tone was so snide.

You simply obeyed with averted eyes. Maybe if you didn’t look at him, your pussy would stop palpitating. You could still feel his fingers buried in your tacky slit, your clit begging to be paid attention. He had left you so unsatisfied, your brain kept going back to the moment he ate your cunt from behind. You shuddered, conscious that you had to stop daydreaming about it.

“Now be a good slut and finish what I have started. I know your pussy is asking for it”, his voice rumbled under his breath, locking the cell behind you. Officer Miller dropped your purse on the table and unsheathed his gun to leave it there too. Slowly he turned and sat down on the chair, conveniently positioned in front of your cell.

You shook your head no with teary eyes. Teary not because you were afraid, but because you really wanted to ― frustration corroding your vaginal nerve endings. Your clit twitched as you sat down on the wooden bench, looking away from him.

“You’ll give in, sooner rather than later, I bet.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Officer Miller manspreading on the chair, a hand slipping under his belt. His gaze was transfixed on you while he touched himself. You turned your head towards the wall, your clit lit on fire at the mere thought of him jerking off in front of you.

You pressed your knees together, looking for some relief and finding none. You tried not to but ended up whimpering in frustration. Joel was right ― you gave in. Your eyes welled up with shame and lust as you discreetly hid your hands between your parted legs. You caressed your clit with your index and then traced the entirety of your fold, a wave of pleasure washing over you.

His groan made you look askance in his direction. Joel had freed his cock through the zipper of his uniform trousers and was pumping himself. The sight of his veiny cock made your mouth run dry. Then you noticed he had something tied around his veiny dick. You had to take a second look, this time with no furtiveness, to see what it was.

He had wrapped your wet panties around his manhood and was rubbing himself with it. You couldn’t contain your whoring moan any longer after that. The vision of him masturbating with your underwear almost strangling his cock sent you in a spiral of desire ― you were, once again, out of control.

Two fingers slipped in your dripping opening while your thumb stroked your clit, this time more intently. Leaning your head back against the brick wall, you closed your eyes, whimpering like a bitch in heat as your digits picked up a reckless pace between your legs. Your breathing intensified, coming in and out in short bursts. Your cunt was so drenched that every time you pushed your fingers inside of you, wet, sucking sounds quickly followed each thrust.

Lava was pooling in your overstimulated furrow, your whole sex so slick your fingers slid in and out easily. Then you felt it: the climbing to the climax and then the falling. You screamed, bending over yourself, as the orgasm hit you hard, very hard. You dropped to your knees on the floor while you felt your insides melting, your inner walls trying to squeeze something that wasn’t there. Your clit convulsed one last time, a moan tearing through your throat as you looked up, eyes closed, imploring to the heavens.

You had not noticed but Joel had stood up and was right in front of you, his dick poking in between the bars ― your panties still wrapped around the base of his cock. He was whacking off with a tight grip, his hips slanted forward. “Come over here, right now”, he emphasized.

His cock had you mesmerised, it was calling you. You wanted to suck him so badly, that you mewled as you crawled towards him.

Joel gritted his teeth at the scene. You moved towards him on all fours, panting and whimpering. You were such a hot mess his cock pulsated in his hand. When you were close to the bars, you straightened your back and sat on your heels, awaiting permission. Joel grinned at the sight ― he fucking knew you would cave in. Sliding a hand in the space between the bars, he placed it on the back of your head while resting his pelvis against the metal rods.

“Open wide”, he croaked with lechery, his mind somewhere far away.

His throbbing cock hurt like hell when you parted your lips and sticked your tongue out, your eyes still damp and your eyeliner running down your cheeks. Joel fisted your hair in a ponytail and pulled it back, so your face was up. He spit in your mouth, deranged with lust, and then swiftly drove his dick down your mouth until your bottom lip was touching his hairy balls.

He held you there for an eternal minute, rejoicing in the wetness of your cavity while you simply choked on his cock. Tears sprung to your eyes at the intrusion, he was way too far down your throat. But did he care? No, he was just chasing his own release. Holding your head in place so you wouldn't go anywhere, he bobbed his waist back and forth, fucking your mouth as deep and fast as he could go.

You probably did it on purpose to drive him crazy, but your lips pressed around his girth as you tried to slurp all the fluids. You would gag from time to time, especially when he would force your head close to him, but you didn't turn away.

Joel looked down as he used your mouth as he pleased. Your eyes were all watery because of the deep intrusion, your lips rubbing against his skin, your palms against your knees as if you were all innocent.

Joel only tugged you back to free his dick when he felt your neck muscles contract, announcing you were close to throwing up.

God, how much he loved your mouth. The mouth of a whore.

You heaved, trying to catch a breath, fighting your gag reflex as much as you could. Your eyes met his. His pupils swirled with lust and that scared you.

Do I really want this?, you asked yourself again, unsure of the answer. You didn’t and did at the same time ― you couldn’t stop yourself. It was like you had lost your freewill and just turned into his plaything, letting him do with you as he deemed. You had succumbed to Officer Miller ― there was no point in fighting back, your own body was betraying you, getting wet in all the wrong places. Maybe if he finished quickly, he would let you be.

You looked up at him when he pushed you closer to his erection again. He was so ruthless ― with no care in the world, Joel dug his pulsing cock down your mouth again, the glans suffocating you once more and the fabric of your underwear tingling your nose. You unconsciously tried to clear your throat, suppressing a cough. Your bottom lip trembled because of how wide your jaw had stretched to house him. Your spit and his precum pooled in your mouth, dribbling down from your chin to your cleavage. You felt the trickle going down in between your boobs and wetting your top.

Joel grinned as he swept away a tear with his thumb.

“Now eat it like you mean it, like the slut you are”, he croaked.

Joel let go of your hair, both of his hands gripping the metal rods that separated you.

You pulled back to catch a breath and swallowed all the fluids that had accumulated in your mouth. Officer Miller was eyeing you expectantly, his dick twitching in front of you each time blood rushed through it. You broke visual contact to focus on his warm cock.

Without thinking, your fingers wrapped around his thick column and started pumping him while your tongue tapped the tip. His groan spurred you on, so you sucked on his glans like if you were a babe breastfeeding. From time to time, you would run your lips down his length, tracing the pulsating vein that fed his erection. By how his hips would sway every time you did that, you knew he loved it.

And so you repeated it, over and over again. Smother the tip, slide your lips down his cock, gently nibble and suck on his balls, and then back up ― your tongue sticking out while licking his shaft until you sealed his glans between your lips again.

Your body had a mind of its own, because your index found your clit again and caressed it softly. The core of your pleasure was heating up again ― your leaking entrance contracted suddenly when the lust reached a higher peak. You moaned with his dick in your mouth, eyes closed, as you fingered yourself unashamedly.

Then you felt it ― a hard pulsation in his cock, announcing he was close. Officer Miller tried to pull back so he wouldn’t come, but you were having none of it. You neglected your pulsing clit, threaded your arms between the bars and placed each hand on his butt cheeks. You forced him forward, pressing your palms against his ass, so he would be locked in place while your wanton mouth took him in as far down as you could.

You didn’t let him go and with a harsh, deep moan, Joel came in your mouth. His hot cum flowed in bursts and clogged your throat, almost asphyxiating you ― but you still didn’t let go. Your eyes were fixed on his, although he wasn’t looking ― Joel had closed his eyes to fully feel his orgasm, his hips still swaying back and forth in your mouth with the last wave of his release.

He fucking knew it. You were so hungry for him, you would even force an orgasm on him. His knuckles were all white due to the force he was using to grip the metal rods. His jaw was so clenched, he thought he might have chipped a tooth. When Joel regained control of his muscles again, he looked down at you and smirked.

“Aren’t you a little bitch, eh? You think because you’ve made me come a second time, I’m not gonna fuck that tight, tiny hole of yours? Well, you’re in for a treat”, he said matter-of-factly.

He just needed a bit of time to have an erection again. And, in the meantime, he was going to have fun with your body. A lot of fun.

Joel moved back his hips so his cock slid out of your mouth. In the process of doing so, a trickle of cum ran down the corner of your mouth. He quickly grabbed his shaft and with the tip, he gathered the cum off your skin and pushed it back between your lips. When you opened your mouth to collect his cum, he noticed you hadn’t swallowed.

“You gulp my cum down right now or else”, he demanded, inserting his dick in your mouth to help you keep it closed.

You tried to explain. “I’ve never don―”, you enunciated the words as you best could, your mouth still full with his spent and his cock.

He grunted, annoyed. “I don’t fucking care, don’t waste a drop of what I’ve given you. A good slut eats what is fed to her.”

Even though he was treating you like shit, your body got aroused at his words. Why? Stop, you begged to yourself, imploring for the gushing between your legs to disappear.

Joel glanced down at you with a cocked brow, awaiting. He wasn’t joking, he really meant it. So you swallowed ― twice, because there were still remnants of his sperm lingering in your mouth. You had never had anyone come in your mouth before ― let alone swallow it. It didn’t taste like you had expected it though ― it was warm and sweet, so smooth it just slid down your oesophagus without effort.

He literally had just used you like if you were his personal glory hole. You should feel ashamed of yourself ― and you did, very much so. But right now, your lust was greater than your shame. And the proof was on the floor between your knees: there was a small puddle, your fluids right there for him to see.

Oh, and he saw.

“Such a whore, you’re dripping like a broken pipe. Aren’t you embarrassed of yourself?”, he asked into the void.

You just whimpered, maddened with unspent passion. Your clit was still twitching, your opening palpitating. Had you not had enough embarrassment already? You had come five times, and you still needed more. Officer Miller was right ― you were a whore. You circled your clit, your eyes fixed on his, almost begging him to help you out.

“Don’t worry, doll, I ain’t done with you yet. Turn around”, he ordered you.

You blinked at him, unsure if he was to be trusted. A voice inside your head screamed at you not to, but you ignored it. You were so horny, you just wanted the fire within you to be extinguished.

You let a soft cry escape your lips as you obeyed his command ― you were on all your fours, your ass cheeks resting against the metal bars, your puffed-up pussy completely exposed to him. You heard him kneel behind you before cupping your whole cunt with the span of his palm, rubbing it delicately.

“Will you look at that? Obedient like a bitch in heat. With a red, swollen pussy, all ready for me to play with”, he laughed at you while you simply bleated, shaking your head yes at his words, uninhibited.

Joel suddenly slapped your cunt so hard, your arms failed you and ended up in a knee-chest position, your ass up in the air for him. “Ouch!”, you let go, your cheek resting against the concrete on the floor.

A cold, rubbery texture kissed your pussy lips and you lifted your head over your shoulder to see what it was. Joel was wielding the nightstick that was attached to his belt a second ago ― he lodged it between your damp flaps, moving it up and down to wet it with your discharge. You moaned, really moaned out loud, knowing what was about to happen.

With your forehead against the concrete floor, you closed your eyes with pure satisfaction when Joel started penetrating you with the baton. Your nails scratched the hard surface underneath, your very curated manicure ruined. Officer Miller pushed in a few more inches, your flesh parting to house the stick. And then, abruptly, you wailed in pain as the end of the nightstick kissed your cervix rather harshly.

You saw stars behind your eyes and tried to push away.

“No, doll, no. Stay put for me”, his free hand rested on the small of your back, keeping you in place.

You remained still for a minute, while you adjusted to such deep intrusion. The pain had been very intense, but it started wearing off as Joel spun the nightstick around in your hole. After a while, you finally relaxed and the cop resumed, pumping the baton in and out of you slowly. Then his hand drifted down from your lower back to your quivering clit and he kneaded the right spot expertly.

You whined, the pleasure so overwhelming it brought tears to your eyes again. You fluttered your eyelashes to clear your vision, your mouth open wide, your breathing irregular. Your womanly cave clutched onto the nightstick, all wet and sensitive. You could feel your heartbeat on your cunt, pulsating so hard it was maddening. His thumb pressed circles on your clit and you sobbed audibly, your orgasm so close you were on the verge of the precipice.

Then a phone went off, you were barely conscious of it ringing until Joel stopped what he was doing and stood up.

“No, please, please, Joel please”, you begged, almost crying, wanting to come so badly.

He left you there, on all your fours and with this baton sticking out of your weeping cunt, almost fully inserted.

“Ah, look, Sweetie is calling you. Bet he’s all worried about you”, he chuckled walking towards you, your cell phone on his hand. He had also taken something from your purse, but you couldn’t see what before he put it in his pocket. “Pick up and pretend you’re not having the best sex of your life.”

He put the phone on speaker and left it by your head. Your mind raced with panic, a very tight knot forming in your throat. This made it too real; you were really cheating on who you thought was the love of your life. And what was worst, you were cheating on him and enjoying it like the slut you were.

“Hey, honey? Are you okay?”, your boyfriend said.

“H―Hi, sweetie. Yeah, I’m fine”, you managed to reply with a steady voice.

Then Joel started jackhammering you with the baton relentlessly, so hard it forced you to close your eyes. Your moist pussy compressed so tightly around the rubbery stick, you had to cover your mouth to stop a moan from coming out.

“Where are you? I thought you’d be back like an hour ago”, he inquired, noticeably worried.

“I… I am in a nightclub, just walked out when I saw you calling”, you lied through your teeth. Joel cackled behind you while his thumb caressed your clit again, putting a sweet amount of pressure on it. “Ah, mhmmm… I should be back home in… uhmmmm… like an hour maybe?”, you bit your bottom lip, soft moans slipping out.

“You sure you’re okay? You sound weird, honey”, your boyfriend insisted.

Joel picked up a very fast pace with the baton, drilling you with it so hard the climax was fast approaching. Your whole body was rocked back and forth with the strength of his thrusts. Your clit melting at his suggestive touch.

“Yes, I drank a bit, mhmmmm… that’s all. I’ll get a taaaahmmh-xi back. Gotta go”, you talked fast, wanting to get the words out before you wailed. You managed to cover your mouth again just in time.

“Okay, take care, honey. I love you.”

At that point, the end of the baton kissed your cervix again but this time it pushed you over the edge. You had the biggest contraction of your life, your angry pussy trying to break the nightstick inside you. You came so hard, you squirted so much it almost looked like you had pissed yourself ― the puddle on the floor had grown considerably. Your eyes welled up, your creamy pussy fluttering, and your clit still writhing. You bit into your hand to suppress the loudest, sluttiest moan of your life.

“Honey?”, your boyfriend said, weirded out by the fact you hadn’t said it back as you always did.

Your orgasm was still washing over you. “Love you too”, you whispered, so guilt-ridden you wiped away some shameful tears from your cheeks.

Then he hung up.

“Oh wow, this is what love looks like to you? I almost feel sorry for the guy”, he made fun of you as he got up, the nightstick still inserted in your pussy. “Up”, he instructed you.

You had nothing to say, because you deserved his pun. There was no denying you were enjoying yourself a little bit too much. With a defeated sigh, tired of fighting your inner battle, you stood up with trembling knees. Your legs felt so wobbly you had to hold on to the bars.

Officer Miller dangled the keys in his hands before opening the door of the cell. For a second you thought that was it, he was done, even though he said he wasn’t a few minutes ago. But when he walked in front of you with his cock poking out the zipper of his uniformed pants, you knew he wasn’t.

Disappointment but also excitement came over you.

“Walk towards the bench. Get up on it on all your fours, doll.” He guided you to the farthest corner of the cell, where it was dark and hidden away in case someone interrupted.

It was like he knew all the blind spots. Had he done this before with someone else? A pang of jealousy tugged at your belly. You’re not the only one, you told yourself.

Completely surrendered to his desires ―and your own―, you followed his lead and did has he commanded. Once you were in the position he wanted you in, he walked to your side and nudged your cheek with the warm, tacky head of his cock.

“Give it a kiss, show me some gratitude”, he husked in a rumbling, raspy tone.

You turned your head ninety degrees and kissed the tip. He still had your panties wrapped around his erection. Licking your bottom lip, your eyes locked on his. A wide grin spread on his face. The motherfucker looked like a goddamn god when he smiled like that, dimples on his cheeks.

“Suck on it like if it was your personal pacifier, darlin’.”

Your tongue twirled around the plump tip as he finally took the baton out of your quivering pussy. You gasped at the emptiness you suddenly felt, his glans caressing your palate. Remembering your order, you quickly sealed your lips around the head of his cock and sucked on it, never breaking eye contact. The tip of your tongue tried to wiggle its way down his slit, slightly parting it and making him groan deeply.

You kept up the work with your smothering lips as one of Joel’s hands travelled down your back, briefly caressing one of your butt cheeks, to then cup your silky cunt. His fingers dipped in your welcoming slit, so velvety they slid up and down with no resistance whatsoever. He rubbed you softly while you worked diligently to make him hard again. One of his fingertips tempted you by getting lost in your needy hole, but he quickly removed it.

“C’mon, let’s get your wanton pussy ready again to ride some cock”, Officer Miller stepped back, his now hard cock slipping out of your mouth.

He walked around the bench and knelt behind you, your pulsing cunt perfectly lined up with his eye level. His mouth hovered over your ass cheek and then bit into your flesh ― his teeth marks were going to be there tomorrow, but that was not your main worry right now.

With no previous warning, he spread your cunt open and licked it from the clit to the perineum in one long, sweet stroke. You swooned at the feeling, half-lidded eyes and pursed lips. Moaning again, Officer Miller ate your pussy masterly while fisting himself, his tongue lingering in the right spots. He then taunted your clit while he fingered you slowly, his fingertip rubbing your g-spot.

Joel alternated his finger and the tip of his tongue to intrude in your opening. It felt delicious, his wetness mixing with yours. His hooked nose would get trapped in your slit when his mouth dropped to attend to your needy clit ― you heard him inhale your scent with no shame, dragging his nose in your silky fold as his mouth returned to your shaking entrance.

Officer Miller really knew how to eat pussy, so much so you would dream about his mouth feasting on your cunt every single night for the foreseeable future. Probably every single day too.

Your breaths quickened, fire melting your insides, your clit so sensitive you didn’t know if it was painful or delightful. You felt like you were about to ride the biggest wave of your life ― and then he stopped, standing up.

Frustrated sobs left your lips, almost mewling ― your pussy begging for release.

Your inner battle had been silent for a while, but came back with full force when you felt Joel’s cock lodged between your tumescent flaps, dousing himself with the product of your pleasure. He waved his hips against you, his dick skidding through your gushing furrow with ease.

He was going to fuck you again.

You tensed up, but you should have known this was coming. You didn’t want to cheat on your boyfriend again. Cheat for real, that was. Penetration was where you had marked the invisible line in your mind between cheating and just messing around.

Touching yourself while thinking of Joel’s cock? Not cheating.

Sucking his dick like a thirsty, panting dog? Not cheating.

Letting him fuck you with his nightstick? Not cheating.

Talking to your boyfriend while another man made you come? Not cheating.

Getting your pussy blissfully eaten from behind? Not cheating.

Him fucking you senseless with his cock? Definitely cheating.

You knew it sounded stupid, but your mind was really making an effort to make you feel a bit less guilty about what was happening.

You did not want this. Yes, you had messed around with him at first, but once your bravado abandoned you, you realised you did not want this.

Right? Right? Or at least you tried to convince yourself of it.

“No, wait”, you whispered when the tip of his throbbing cock kissed your dripping entrance.

Joel slid his drumming cock between your soaked folds, wetting himself. His mind spiralling down with desire, with lust. He took a moment to revel in the feeling of having his dick sweetly sheathed by your sodden lips.

Then he lined up the head of his thrumming dick with your drenched opening. When he heard your infuriating petition, he just cocked a brow. No, you were not going to deny him that, not after all the effort he had put into making you come over and over again. Your denial angered him.

“What a selfish slut you are”, he muttered furiously between gritted teeth before impaling you in one deep thrust ― his hips entirely flush against your pussy, his cock buried as far as it could go.

You moaned like the bitch you were and rolled your hips back into him, your trembling cunt hugging his cock.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought”, he murmured, still mad at you.

How fucking dared you tell him no? You were such an ungrateful bitch. He wasn't going to take no for an answer, not when you had been enticing him all night.

Joel spanked your ass hard, and you whimpered ― the palm of his hand leaving a red imprint on your skin. “You’re a whore. Say it out loud.”

“I am a whore, I am. I’m such a slut for you, Officer”, you wailed, bouncing your hips back and forth while he stayed still, fucking yourself with his dick.

Your neediness mildly soothed his anger, but not enough.

He slapped your ass again before grasping your hips to keep you in place, then Joel started fucking you as hard and as fast as he could, rutting into your tight hole mercilessly. His mind was just blank as the orgasm started to build within him ― the muscles in his lower tummy tensing, his balls contracting, his cock pulsating to the rhythm of his heartbeat. This was heaven, your pussy was.

He kept drilling you relentlessly, your whines growing louder and deeper, meeting his thrusts by pushing back your hips into him. The pace was so diabolical, your back arched, almost resting against his chest in a half-standing position. His broad hands left your waist and travelled up to hold your boobs while he perforated you, the carnal sound of flesh colliding against flesh filling the room.

Joel suddenly stopped, sliding out, and you whimpered, not wanting to be left unsatisfied again. You didn’t see what he was doing until he stuffed your mouth with your panties and covered your mouth with his hand, inserting his dick back into you unceremoniously.

“Don’t scream so loud or they are going to hear you. And I don’t want you to get me into trouble, understand?”, he threatened, resuming the plunging of his throbbing cock into your wanton cunt.

You just nodded, biting down on your underwear, while he fucked you stupid. So hard, so fast, so filthy, you couldn’t take it anymore. Your muffled moans announced your next climax, your pussy clamping down on his pulsating cock.

You both came undone at the same time, his hand still over your lips as Joel’s warm spent filled you up for the second time tonight. It came out of him in waves, both of your sexes beating in harmony.

Sweaty and tired, Joel let go of your mouth to move his hand down to slap your clit harshly. You whimpered, your clit so oversensitive it twitched one last time, making you come again. You bent over, resting your weight on your hands, as Officer Miller remained inside you for a few minutes, you cockwarming him with no complaints.

Suddenly hearing the ripping of plastic, you looked over your shoulder to see how he opened the packaging of a tampon with his teeth. And then, before you could think, he took his soft erection out of you and immediately inserted the tampon in your leaking hole, using it as if it was a vaginal plug to contain his semen inside you.

“Do not even think about taking it out until at least tomorrow. Understood?”, you nodded frantically, feeling slightly humiliated, but you didn’t say a word.

Joel pulled down your skirt and then placed the palm of his hand in front of your mouth. You spit your messy panties on his palm and he put them back in his pocket. You didn't bother asking for them this time, you knew he wouldn't give them back. And, weirdly enough, you wanted him to keep them.

You sat down on the bench with him standing in front of you. You looked up at him, your eyeliner all smeared on your cheeks. Your lips were swollen of eating so much dick.

“I think you’ve learnt your lesson now, right, doll?”, he asked with a smile, sweeping away the tears on one of your cheeks with his thumb. The gesture was almost sweet and caring.

You nodded again, wholly submitted to him. “Yes, Officer.”

“Good girl. Now go clean yourself up in that bathroom over there. I’ll take you home so your poor little boyfriend doesn’t worry about you”, he chuckled as you got up and hid in the small restroom.

You looked at yourself in the mirror. You definitely had gotten more than what you had bargained for. But as much as you wanted to blame Officer Miller for everything that happened tonight, you knew you had been asking for it. With a heavy sigh and out of tears, you washed your face, your thighs and your sensitive pussy.

Once you walked out of the toilet, all semi-decent again, you saw Joel leaning against the wooden table, arms crossed at his chest. When you approached, he got up. His frame was so broad with square shoulders, his biceps flexing in that uniform, you kind of understood yourself for giving in to temptation. He was something else. Maybe it was the uniform, maybe not, but there was something about him that made your pussy melt for him.

Forgetting him and this night was going to be a herculean task. Would your boyfriend ever live up to him? Even to a shadow of what Joel had given you?

You halted in front of him. As if you were his, he dropped a hand in between your legs, his fingertips looking for your now clean hole. You separated your legs slightly to give him access without remonstrance.

He smiled at you sufficiently when he noticed the tampon was still in you, just as he had commanded.

“Good girl”, he muttered, gently caressing your clit as a reward for your good behaviour.

Against all odds, you smiled back at him, swooning at his praise.

You did the journey back home on the passenger’s seat of Joel’s Crown Vic. From time to time he would check the tampon was still in its rightful place, stroking your clit in the process. Had your hole been unplugged, you would have leaked on the upholstery again.

You both remained silent ― your mind racing with thoughts, trying to come to terms with what you had done.

What were you going to do? Were you going to confess to your boyfriend? Would you keep it a secret? Joel had fucked you so good, you thought you would never enjoy sex with anyone else.

Damn, your mind was a tangled mess. But you blamed it on his tentative finger, still stroking your clit.

The cruiser stopped and you looked at the building in front of you. You had arrived at your destination. Joel removed the hand from your fold and you sighed, gripping the handle.

But before you opened the door, you looked at Officer Miller.

“Will I ever…?”, you didn’t finish your question because he was eyeing you with amusement, his pupils flickering with fun.

“G’night, doll.”

Had you just been rejected? It felt like it, because it stung real bad. You pressed your lips together and, without another word, you exited the car and ran to the safety of your flat.

You entered as silently as you could. You got to the restroom and changed your clothes ―or what remained of them― for your pyjama, throwing everything in the washer. Tiptoeing towards the bed, you saw your boyfriend sleeping on his side.

Guilt and embarrassment ate at you, but you kept them at bay. You were tired, only wanting to go to bed ― tomorrow would be a new day. Pushing those thoughts away, you slid under the bedsheets and stayed on your side of the bed.

A minute later, your boyfriend turned around and hugged your waist, spooning you.

“Hi, honey. Did you have fun tonight?”

His question stabbed at your heart.

“Yeah, it was good seeing the girls.”

You wouldn't believe how much fun I actually had, you thought out of nowhere.

“Mhmmm, good, good…”, one of his hands wrapped around your waist and coincidently rested on your lower belly.

You had felt his swollen groin against your butt but decided to ignore it because you were completely spent. Joel had taken all the orgasms you could have today ― you had nothing left to give.

But your boyfriend didn’t know that, so he dipped a hand under your pyjama’s shorts, looking for your slit. Then he found the tampon string and grunted.

“You’ve got your period?”, he asked, disappointed.

You hadn’t really forgotten to take it out. Weirdly enough, you still felt compelled to follow Officer Miller’s demands. You were going to leave it there till tomorrow's afternoon, his cum warming you up. You didn't want to let go of the memory, not just yet.

“Yeah, it came earlier, sorry, sweetie.” You lied ― and felt really bad for it.

He sighed heavily, disheartened, and removed his hand from in between your legs. “It's okay, good night, honey.” He kissed your neck.

You were ever so slightly disappointed in him ― you were sure a bit of blood would have not stopped Joel from fucking you.

Ah, comparison was really the thief of joy.

“Good night”, you whispered back, fully conscious of Joel’s cum sitting snugly inside your pussy.

[meowmeowriley]

@sergeantwoods Sorry for the long wait, but here's the mer!AU

Think I'll call it Fish Out of the Sea

Ghost x Soap, blacktip reef shark mer!Soap, human Ghost, fluff, getting together (kinda)

Ficlet after the cut 😘

"No."

John sighed, he didn't seem surprised by Shepherd's hard rejection, but he kept trying. Simon had to give props to the fishing boat Captain. "You have the best mer rehabilitation facility in the country. It'd be a shame not to use it."

"You said you had a mermaid. That's not a fucking mermaid, John."

"I said I had an injured mer." He repeated himself from their earlier conversation.

"I'm not taking that thing into my facility."

"He needs help-"

"He's hideous, and aggressive." Shepherd barked. "That thing keeps lashing out, it'll scare patrons, attack my staff, and if that *thing* touches my mermaids, tries to mate with them, I'll have it put down."

"Mers are actually matriarchal, sir." The mer expert, Kyle, finally spoke up. "I've never worked with a shark mer before, but I do know he won't mess with Kate or Rosa, because they won't want him. Since they're together."

"Kyle. For the last time, the mermaids aren't lesbians. They're just fish." Shepherd was one of those who thought of mers as lesser than humans. Obviously.

Simon was standing near the door. No one had noticed him sneak in, but when he'd overheard that the mer was a shark variant, he'd needed to see it. Now, seeing the poor thing huddled in the corner of it's transport tank, curled in on itself, he felt so bad for it. He watched, any time someone went near it it flared out it's dorsal and pectoral fins. It would gnash it's teeth and charge the glass. All signs of aggression in a shark but... as soon as it finished its display it was right back to the furthest corner from the humans. It kept peeking at them over it's own shoulder when it thought they weren't looking. He quietly crept closer.

He took in it's markings, gray on it's back, white on its belly, black tips to it's fins. Claspers on its pelvic fins. A male blacktip reef shark then. His inferior end was all shark, something Simon was very familiar with, as he took care of all of the sharks here at the aquarium, several of them blacktips. His superior end, or top half, he supposed a visitor would (incorrectly) consider it, was new and interesting to him. Though he was vaguely humanoid, his skin was all two tones white and gray, like his tail. He had a wedge shaped snout in place of a human nose, a wider mouth with jagged teeth. Slitted eyes, and a black tipped fin atop his head that reminded Simon of a mohawk. Webbed gray and white hands with black claws rubbed up and down it's own arms in a self soothing gesture. One forearm had an odd angle to it, probably the injury that landed him here.

He retreated from the tank quietly before speaking, interrupting the squabbling of the other men. "He looks like a reef shark to me." Everyone else jumped. "Blacktip reef sharks aren't aggressive. Sure they can get a little iffy during feeding, but they're more curious than anything."

"He's been charging the glass, Ghost." Simon managed to suppress his eye roll at Shepherd's nickname for him. They all called him that here. "Fuck you mean 'not aggressive', you don't know mers."

"No, but I know sharks. He's injured, and defensive. You ever think he doesn't like us because it was something shaped like us that broke his arm?" John winced, he obviously felt bad about it. Not like he could've know he'd caught the mer in his net, but it was nice to see some accountability from a fisherman for once.

"Well we can't communicate with him, so he'll stay scared and defensive." If Simon didn't love the sharks, he would've left this place a long time ago because Shepherd was an absolutely abrasive cunt.

"Kate and Rosa can. And their English is excellent." Kyle spoke up again. "We have them pass on the message of our intentions, and Ghost and I tag team his rehabilitation." Of course he uses the dumb nickname too. "It's the perfect plan! And an incredible opportunity to be one of two aquariums to actually work with a shark mer. The novelty of something so rare will bring in patrons." Kyle was really leaning into Shepherd's true interests here, bringing up money.

Shepherd was quiet for a moment and then, "If anything happens, you're both fired." He then stormed out of the room.

"Thanks, Gaz."

"Of course, Cap."

Now the three of them had to get the shark mer into an appropriate tank.

***

They had initially tried to put him in with the other mers, but he'd seen the sharks in the tank across the hall and told Kate he wanted to be with his own kind. That would make Simon's job easier, anyway. Kate had explained that they needed to put a cast on his arm, and Rosa had wrestled it onto him, since the humans couldn't get too close. They decided to name him John, after Captain Price, calling him Johnny affectionately. Gaz explained to Ghost that part of rehabbing Johnny would be gaining his trust, teach him to communicate. To release him without a way to communicate could lead to him attacking humans and being a problem down the road.

Simon had a plan: ignore him. He was a reef shark, his own curiosity would get him to open up. It took a week.

Simon would feed his sharks from a catwalk above their tank, for safety reasons, dropping their food in in the mornings before they opened their doors. No need to scare any children. For the first week, any time he passed by, Johnny would posture aggressively and gnash his teeth, before snatching up his food and swimming off. When Ghost would gear up and go in the water for his evening shows, Johnny stayed far away. At night, Gaz and his mers would move over and Ghost would mostly just observe as the girls tried to teach Johnny how to speak, and he petulantly ignored them, with a little pout on his face as he refused to even make eye contact with them. It was cute.

The first time he tried to speak was also the first time Simon saw him raise his head above the surface. He seemed frantic. "HAAAH!" He startled a bit at what was most likely the first time he ever used his lungs to breath air. "HAAAAH! AH! YAAH!" he was waving with his good arm. Stretching it out towards the platform between his tank and that of the other mers, thrashing his tail with his fins tucked in. Very distressed. Simon went to check, to see what could possibly be bothering him so much, when he found their elusive fourth mer. Simon had only seen Gary once. Gaz called him Roach, because he hid in the tiniest cracks in the reef in their enclosure, why on earth the isopod mer was on the platform, and not in the water, was beyond him, but he couldn't let the poor thing suffer. He had several of his little legs caught in a grate. Simon spent some time disentangle him. He tossed the infant sized mer into the nearest tank, which happened to be the shark tank, with Johnny. The larger mer immediately dove to catch him. He stroked Roach's antennae back like one would the hair of a small child, a soothing motion. Clearly not as much of a loner as he pretended to be. From then on the little isopod mer could be found clinging to Johnny's sides or fins with his many little periopods more often than not. After that, it seemed that Gary encouraged Johnny's more curious side. The mer's language was mostly outside of the human range of hearing, but Simon occasionally caught clicks, whistles or hums shared between the two.

Simon had left a bucket with soap close to the edge once, the two mers were clearly curious about it, but he didn't think anything would come of it. Which is why it was such a surprise when Johnny stuck a webbed hand in and scooped some out, popping it immediately into his mouth. Simon knew it wasn't enough to harm him, which is why he couldn't help but laugh at the poor creatures misfortune as it sputtered and writhed, making bubbles. While laughing he let his guard down, and was surprised when something struck him, knocking him off the catwalk and into the tank. He opened his eyes and looked around, seeing only Roach, floating downward, listing side to side, tiny head in his tiny hands. He surfaced to see Johnny. "Did you just throw him at me?!" Johnny sunk down so only his eyes and cranial fin were above the water. The little shit. "Not cool, Soap!" He forced his palm out towards the mer, sending a spray of water its way. That seemed to really break down the mer's walls.

Johnny started approaching while Simon would try and clean the tank. At first, darting away if Simon caught sight of him. Eventually however, he would get closer and simply observe. He'd watch Simon work at cleaning the glass or vacuuming the sand at the bottom. It was fun to see shark behavior and mer behavior collide. If Simon sat something down, Johnny would pick it up, and without a doubt if he could get it in his hands, it would end up in his mouth.

There was a small crowd, a child's birthday party had been held over by Gaz's mer tank, the girls were always a hit with the kids, and the little show they put on with Gaz was actually pretty funny. They'd harass him as he pretended to try and do his chores. Slapstick comedy was good for all ages.

Simon had his own show with his sharks, but it wasn't for a few more hours. He was actually just trying to clean. Apparently his cleaning sponge had caught Johnny's attention, as the mer had swam up and was watching him intently. He kept inching forward, eventually crowding Simon against the glass while reaching for his sponge. "Oi!" He said into his respirator, not that anyone could hear him. He shoved Johnny away and kept trying to cleaning, but the persistent bastard just kept coming back. He could vaguely see the crowd observing them through the glass. They were probably laughing. When he'd had enough, he got an idea. He turned when Johnny got close again and placed one hand on his dorsal fin and the other on the underside of his snout. He began to rub at the sensitive underside of the mer's snout, and just like his sharks, the mer entered a state of tonic immobility. He repositioned Johnny, nose down tail to the surface, Johnny's arms hung limply down past his head. Simon quickly withdrew his hands and watched as the mer continued to float for a bit, before blinking vigorously. He shook his head before righting himself, and slapped his tail into Simon's chest as he practically fled to his little cave at the other end of the tank. When he surfaced later, Gaz informed him that the kids were raving about how cool the 'shark guys' were.

Simon had to admit that Johnny was growing on him. He looked forward to seeing him each day. Johnny began trying to get Simon to swim with him. He'd grab Simon's arms and try to pull him into the water when he was on land, or he'd push Simon away from the glass and his cleaning supplies, towards the open water. Sometimes Simon would indulge him, and the two of them would make laps around the tank.

Simon realized, when Johnny began posturing towards the sharks and getting territorial about him towards them, that Johnny was attempting to court him. Worse, he couldn't bring himself to try and put an end to the behavior either. Johnny was getting touchy, he'd run his hands along Simon's sides or chest, in much the same way Simon would to per his sharks, but it felt different. He would push Simon until he floated horizontally in the water, then drape himself across the man.

Simon knew he was getting himself into some deep shit, but he couldn't help the small voice in the back of his head that urged him to reach out, to cradle the mer's rubbery cheeks in his hands. He wanted to kiss him. He was fucked.

***

I hope you liked it! Ngl, I really liked this one. If you don't mind, I might expand on this and make it a multi-chapter fic over on AO3? I wanna explore more of society's reaction to mers, specifically interspersed relationships and where this could go. Let me know what you think, and thanks for the idea!

[lizzieisright]

At least I got you in my head (8) (end)

(7)

Summary: Abby is straight. And then you move in with her.

Tags: modern au, fem!reader, straight!abby (she is doing some comphet bullshit), pining, idiot in love and it's abby, reader is gay and tired.

Notes: finally, you both figure your shit out.

Taglist: @abbyily @lillysbigwilly @gravygranules @blairfox04 @frogtits1 @ccinnamongrl @ninazenuk @urmomsgirlfriend1 @sunkissedbibi @couchgarbage @nil-eena @inlovewithelliewilliams @st4rluvrr @mai5mai @machetegirl109 @azelmawrites @rhae-blackqueen @vea-vea-vea @mnim58e @chubeline @strgrlxox @chrry1ovr @littletinyladybugs @shaemonyou @luvrmunson @saffronssapphic @zootedhoe @2012wannabe @elcantsleep

Thank you guys for reading this story and enjoying it! I was very excited when I wrote this chapter and I hope you'd like it too. For some reason Electric love by Børns was playing in my head the whole time as I wrote the reunion part. And the last lines are reference to the Sleepover by Hayley Kiyoko.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Abby spent her Sunday thinking and thinking and thinking. Even if she wanted to stop she just couldn't, spiralling into the rabbit hole of "does she like me? Do I like her? No, she doesn't like me. I do like her." on repeat. It was still hard to wrap her head around it - in two days her whole perception of herself just turned upside down. And it was good - it always feels good to get rid of this amount of guilt and shame - but it also left Abby in front of metaphorical crossroads and the obvious “what’s next?”.

Abby jumped from being so sure in her feelings to backtracking into “I just figured out my sexuality I need more time”, which was well, true - she did need more time to just..let the knowledge settle.

But you still weren’t home, and her thoughts were too focused on you. Yes, Abby just figured everything out, but the dam that kept her feelings unnoticed broke and now Abby felt everything. The itch she had in her hands before because she wanted to touch you? It was constant now. The desire to call you and just talk? Relentless. She never felt this way about anyone - which was understandable, it’s hard to fall in love with people you’d better be friends with - and the intensity of her feelings was scaring her at times.

Abby spent the first half of Sunday moping around while Ellie provided her silent emotional support and just played games with Abby to keep her occupied. But now and then she’d drift back into her spiralling.

“Abs, until you talk to her all your thoughts have some probability of happening. And it means you’re wasting time, okay? You need to chill.”

“Ellie. Two days ago I learned I’m gay and yesterday I realised I like my roommate. What chill are you talking about?”

“Okay, yeah, my bad. But this spin cycle won’t give any kind of results. Reflect all you want or whatever, but until you talk to her you won’t have an answer.”

“I’m not even sure I want one.”

“You want one, dude. Believe me.” Ellie said somehow menacingly, and Abby didn’t argue.

After Ellie left Abby tried to pick her thoughts apart again, but there was nothing new in her poor brain. Abby felt tired and not lost, but definitely in a dead end. So she decided to use one of her favourite coping mechanisms and hit the gym. The gym always helped, especially with emotions - Abby could box if she was angry or do compounds to concentrate on her form instead of her thoughts, she could stretch just to torture herself and concentrate on physical pain.

Abby packed her bag and went to the gym, hoping for some kind of relief and honestly? A fucking break. She was extremely tired of constant anxiety that changed to sweet memories of you and then changed back to anxiety. Abby wasn’t used to this, so it was taking a huge toll on her - a toll big enough to gain courage to tell you everything. Ellie was right - she needed an answer if she preferred to stay fucking sane.  

And the gym helped. Abby did her safest routine, worried she’d get stuck in her head and hurt herself if she did something different, and while Abby was counting reps and measuring time for the rest period, she didn’t think of you. Her only concern was her form and the mental maths of how much weights she needed to place, how to breathe properly and how to place her feet correctly for the squats.

But the moment Abby left the gym, her thoughts were back. Maybe you already came back home? All your books for tomorrow were at home, you needed them, right? Did you have spare clothes at Cait’s? (where else you’d be? At Vi’s? Abby didn’t even want to entertain the idea, and really, it didn’t seem like you) Abby wasn’t sure if texting you would be a right move right now - she needed space and you probably needed it too. But fuck she missed you.

Abby checked her phone in case there are any messages from you, any messages, even if you'd call her a bitch or something. Just. Any indication you were still in her life.

But no. There was nothing, and the apartment was silent and empty when Abby came back.

Monday went over Abby's head, she couldn't concentrate on her classes which was very surprising: she could go with no sleep and still be present during lessons, but today all she could think about was you. The guilt and shame mixed with excitement and hope and it was driving her insane, being pulled apart by polar emotions like that. Now all these stupid stories from how painful it was to be in love finally made sense to Abby - before you she was never really in love with anybody, but now? Now all these tears and desperation and grand gestures made sense. Coming back to exes? Made sense, because she’d crawl back to you without a question. Forgiving anything? Made sense too.

Fuck, people were really right when they said how powerful love was and what things it made them do for it. And even if it was painful and confusing, Abby felt happy about it, as if her unbearable feelings were a proof of her own humanity. A lot of people before told her she was cold and heartless - Ellie joked about it a lot when Abby didn’t hesitate to tell someone who liked her to fuck off - and sometimes it got to her. Now though? Feeling the sharpest needle going through her heart when she thought of you telling her to fuck off? This pain made Abby feel alive.

Later at practice Abby saw Vi - they didn’t train with each other, different weights, but the days were the same - and Abby expected Vi to be angry at her, but not only Vi wasn’t angry, she actually looked at her sympathetically, as if she knew what was happening in Abby's soul. The guilt and shame were back - yes, Abby was still jealous and yes she still wanted to break every knuckle on Vi’s hands for touching you - but she was self-aware enough to understand that Vi wasn’t a part of this. It wasn’t Vi’s fault that Abby had issues.

And the thing was - Vi was actually fucking nice. Abby didn’t talk to her a lot, but she knew Vi’s story and she admired how hard-working she was and how she stayed herself after all the shit she’s been through. Ellie called her cool, and Ellie didn’t call anyone cool, so Abby felt like she fucked up here too.

But the stakes weren't that high - it wasn't like they were friends in the first place - so Abby decided to make amends. She braced herself for the uncomfortable conversation and went over to Vi's locker when they were changing.

"Hey." Vi looked at her, surprised, but she didn't seem hostile, so Abby continued. "I wanted to say sorry for the other day. I was an asshole for no reason."

"Don't stress." Vi smiled. "I wasn't offended."

"Yeah well. I still said some shit. Sorry again."

"It's okay." Vi seemed to hesitate before speaking next. "(Y/n) was really upset."

"Yeah. I know." Abby nodded, trying to conceal her hurt.

"Do you plan on talking to her?" Vi asked carefully again as she put her shirt on.

"Yes."

"Cool."

It seemed like the conversation was over and Abby went back to her locker, taking her bag out and putting her sweaty uniform inside. She felt relieved after that - if this went well, maybe it will go well with you too. Vi put her things in her bag and walked to the exit while Abby was still changing, deep in her thoughts.

"Have you figured it out yet? Why you got so angry?" Vi asked cautiously, stopping right before leaving.

Abby froze, surprised, as she stared at her t-shirt.

"Was it really that obvious?"

Vi shrugged.

"Kinda. You know, the spidey sense. It's not about your looks, it's just… you can tell."

"Gay aura." Abby smirked, remembering Ellie’s words.

"Gay aura." Vi chuckled. "Good luck, Abby."

"Thanks."

And her words were genuine.

You were still pretty shaken up after the fight - not because of the fight itself or Abby’s words, but because it felt like you were hit with reality in a way that broke your stupid rose coloured glasses. And for some reason it was hard to come to terms with the fact that you overestimated yourself: how you acted based on your emotions instead of using your fucking brain - which is understandable, people lose their brains when they’re in love - and the result was the same. You weren’t planning on confessing at all, instead trying to get over Abby, and it led to the same outcome - you two weren’t talking.

You kept thinking about if you made the right choice by never bringing up the “maybe you’re not so straight” topic with Abby - maybe you should have? Just very carefully? Just nudge her in the right direction? Was it too late to do that now?

Huh, what a fun conversation it could be “hey, maybe you were so angry at me not because I made you uncomfortable in your own home but because you’re gay and jealous?” (which was in fact Cait's entire point about this fight). Even if this would go well, Abby being gay didn’t equal Abby being gay for you.

God, what if Abby would start bringing girls over once she would be out? “Thanks (y/n) for helping me figure out my sexuality, now I’m going to fuck every gay girl on campus because I’m hot as fuck and they all drool over  me”. Fuck.

At this point it was hard to differentiate between your rational thoughts and irrational thoughts: where did your concerns end and overthinking started? You felt confused and all over the place, and even though you knew the only way to fix it was to come home and face Abby, you were too much of a coward to do it.

Obviously you'd say you were sorry. And you would stop bringing girls over because she was uncomfortable with it and you weren't an asshole. But you felt like this talk would be only the cover of the real problem - this situation happened not because you were selfish (not entirely), but because you wanted to get over Abby as fast as possible. For some reason you felt like you had to tell Abby you were in love with her - otherwise you had a feeling you were taking advantage of her with the amount of touch and care that was between you. For you these hugs and cuddles and small kisses on your cheeks weren't platonic or friendly, and now when you finally admitted your defeat, you couldn't pretend it was something else.

So you had two choices: tell Abby you were in love with her and let her decide how to change her boundaries or distance yourself from her as far as possible. And if you were younger you'd probably choose the second option - it was way easier than being honest and getting rejected. But this way you'd lose her as a friend and leave both of you with hurt and anger towards each other. And Abby would probably call you out on this and you'd have to tell her what was wrong with you anyway.

So your only option was to confess and face whatever would come out of it. And it was scary.

That was the reason why instead of going home on Monday you still came back to Cait - you couldn't lie to Abby but you couldn't tell her the truth either, so, as one of the cartoon characters said, there was a third option: doing nothing. And you chose it.

Caitlyn wasn't happy with your choice, staring you down as you took your shoes off.

"You're running away from your problems."

"I'm doing nothing about my problems. There's a difference." You sighed tiredly and put your coat on the clothing rack.

Cait stared you down, frowning, but you didn’t have energy to argue with her, so you went straight for the shower. It didn’t help much with your thoughts, but the weight of your anxiety got smaller.

from: Vi

Abby just apologised to me

You stared at your phone as your feelings flooded your chest - Abby was stubborn but she was good. She was doing what was right, she fucking apologised to Vi, and here you were, too scared to face her. If Abby said sorry she felt guilty, and it meant she was hurting while you were hiding from her. You could wallow in misery all you wanted, but the thought that you were dragging Abby down with you made you feel sick. You loved her too much to let your fears hurt her.

to: Vi

How is she?

from: Vi

She got hit in the face

Three times

so

shitty

The guilt washed over you. For Abby to be this unfocused? It meant she was really worried and upset, and you needed to stop it. Fuck it if you couldn’t confess yet, but you needed to resolve this situation and stop indirectly torturing Abby.

to: Vi

Can we reschedule our lesson tomorrow?

from: Vi

Yeah no problem

You locked your phone and went over to Caitlyn, who was reading.

“I’m going home tomorrow.”

“Thank god.” Caitlyn rolled her eyes.

“She apologised to Vi.”

“Amazing.”

“By the way, can I give Vi your number?”

Caitlyn stopped reading and you noticed her pink blush. It was faint, but after years of friendship you knew what it was - you weren’t surprised, Vi was hot and Caitlyn thought she was smart, so of course your question got a reaction out of her.

“Aren’t you two involved?”

“We’re friends. If it’s a no it’s okay. I can totally see why it’d bother you.”

“It doesn’t bother me. I’m not an idiot, I’ve noticed how she looked at me.” Caitlyn was creepily observant and awfully honest. Thank god she didn’t embarrass Vi right then and there, because Cait was unhinged like that. “Give me her number, I’ll text her myself.”

“Cait, you’re terrifying.” You said honestly. “She is sweet, don’t hurt her.”

Caitlyn stared at you like you were an idiot and you just silently showed her Vi’s number so she could copy it.

Three days. It’s been three days since the fight and Abby was exhausted. She couldn’t even sleep, creeped out by the silence in your apartment, twisting and turning the whole night, and if she fell asleep she dreamt of you - either the fight played out differently (you didn’t leave and Abby confessed) or it was 100 and 1 scenario of your reunion.

But then Abby woke up and you weren’t there. She hated how quiet the place was.

At least Abby could concentrate during her classes, even though she opened her dms every 10 minutes trying to gain courage to text you. Why was it this hard? By the end of the day she chickened out and decided to text you if you wouldn’t be home today too. And for some reason Abby was sure you wouldn’t be home when she’d come from classes today. It seemed like you were still pretty mad at her - oh, that was why she was too afraid to text you. Abby - now calmed down, guilty Abby - was not prepared for your wrath if it was still there. And she’d prefer to have it fall on her in person than over a stupid text.

Abby opened the door to your apartment and froze right in the doorway. She could hear the TV from the living room, she saw the lights faintly lightning the hallway and fuck, there were your shoes.

You were home.

Abby took her shoes and her coat off in record time and stormed to the living room. You were sitting on the couch, your legs under you, and you smiled at her sheepishly, as if you weren’t sure that Abby’d be happy to see you. Abby took a deep breath as her heartbeat went absolutely crazy.

“You’re home.” Abby sighed, still so shocked she thought she was dreaming again, her bag falling from her shoulder to the floor with a thud.

“Hi.” You said in a small voice and Abby couldn’t take anymore - you were there and you were smiling at her and she missed you so fucking much.

Abby almost ran to you, scooping you in her arms as you yelped in surprise - fucking hell Abby was strong to pull you up like that.

“You’re home.” Abby murmured into your neck, breathing you in, the same spice and mint as always. You hugged her shoulders and breathed her in too - you missed her crazy. Abby was solid against you and her hand on the small of your back kept you pressed into her as if she was afraid you’d disappear. You clung to her, as you became aware how much you missed her warmth - how did you survive these three days without Abby?

“I’m sorry, I was so selfish.” You told Abby while she pressed you flush against her.

“God, I’m so sorry too, I didn’t mean a word of what I’ve said to you.” Abby said into your hair, her voice soft and quiet and full of remorse. You hummed, comforted by her arms around you, her blonde hair tickling your nose. Abby smelt like home, like someone who would protect you from anything and whatever she said to you on Saturday didn’t matter anymore.

Abby inhaled your scent and closed her eyes, basking in you. She physically couldn't let you go now when she's got you, knowing now why it felt so good to hold you and not being ashamed or anxious about it. Fuck. To hell with it, Abby's never been a coward.

"I figured my shit out." Abby's voice was steady, but her heart sounded like drums in her ears.

"What do you mean?" And your heart was not any better.

"You told me to figure my shit out. I did. I wasn't angry because you were disturbing me or something." Abby pressed you even closer, grounding herself in your presence. "I was jealous."

It was suddenly hard to breathe and you froze in Abby's arms. Did she mean what you thought she meant? God, please, let it be what you so desperately wanted it to be.

Abby moved away a little so she could look at you, because if Abby would get her heart broken now she at least could get it broken looking into your eyes.

"I like you." Abby breathed out and the wave of painful relief hit her. It was good to let it out, as if someone cut open an aching injury and yeah, she was bleeding, but it felt better.

Your brain fully shut down as your ears rang from her words - was it even real? Was it your Abby or another dream? But it was real, and Abby was looking at you, she was waiting for an answer and your own confession ripped out from your chest before you could stop yourself.

"I like you too." You felt your face heat up for some reason, but the way Abby’s eyes lit up made it all worth it.

Abby's eyes grew wide with surprise just before all her restraints crumbled. She took your face in her hands and did what she was literally dreaming about the past few nights - she kissed you. And everything exploded.

Your hands flew to Abby's face and you kissed her back desperately, pressing into her with all you had. Abby locked her arms around your waist so hard your back arched, she needed you close as badly as you needed her.

Abby never felt like this, like every move of your lips on hers set her alight and the hunger she never had before was suddenly making her greedy and desperate to touch you. As if under a spell, Abby pushed you to the couch until you hit it with the back of your knees and sat down so Abby could press you into the seat as you opened your mouth and let her tongue slip inside, making you both groan. Abby felt high from kissing you, the way you were all soft and gentle under her, but not delicate at all, she wasn’t afraid to hurt you because you were real and solid and your fingers on her neck were warm.

And it wasn't enough for Abby, she needed more, she needed to touch your bare skin - so she pushed her hand under your hoodie, kneading your side. You were warm and soft and your scent was all around her, and it was still not enough. She wanted to hear you make the same noise that you made that night for someone else - she wanted you to sigh and whimper and moan for her, she wanted to-

You pressed on her shoulders and Abby backed off, confused.

"We need to slow down." You panted, looking into Abby’s shiny eyes. She was blushing and panting as well, her hand was still on your naked waist, riding up your hoodie enough for her to see your lower stomach. Abby’s eyes went dark as she flicked her eyes from your face to your stomach and back.

"Yeah."

You both didn't move, staring at each other. Abby didn’t want to stop, she wanted to kiss you and touch you and if someone would move away first it would definitely not be her. And then you kissed Abby again, bringing her as close as possible, giving up on any rational thought in your head. You were weak, so when Abby pushed you down on the couch you happily spread your legs for her, getting wet in your pants from how delicious it felt to be opened like that. Abby’s hands roamed across your sides and your hips, groping and kneading your body as if she couldn’t get enough - and she truly couldn’t, appreciating every soft fold she made, every hard ridge digging into her palm. You sighed into her mouth and Abby just needed to press you down into this couch, moving one of her hands to caress your thigh and pull you closer. You felt dizzy, high on Abby's confident, hungry touch, the perfect balance of gentle and rough, so deliciously Abby. No one could touch you like that, like you were hers, your body and your soul, without a hesitation. Abby took what she wanted and you drank it all up.

Abby kissed your jaw and moved down to your neck, leaving an open mouthed kiss just below your ear and you let out a surprised sigh - and Abby’s brain fucking melted. She left more kisses, all shamelessly open, her hot tongue brushing over your skin just to hear you sigh like that. Abby pushed your thighs up so you could close them around her waist and slipped her hand back under your hoodie, getting dangerously close to your tits. That broke the spell on you, bringing you back to reality.

“Abby, wait.” You asked, not comfortable with how fast it was going. Abby looked up to you, waiting for what you wanted to tell her. “We really need to chill.” You caressed her cheek, taking a deep breath to calm yourself down.

Abby wanted to protest, but the horny fog started leaving her head and she understood how overboard she went just now, jumping you like this the moment you reciprocated her feelings. It was too fast.

“Yeah, you’re right.” Abby chuckled and tried to move away, but you didn’t let her, pressing her back to you.

“Just.. lie down.”

Abby listened to you, her hands still under your hoodie, but now she was just caressing your sides gently with her thumbs, sending goosebumps.

“I’ve missed you so much.” You told her as you stroke her hair.

“I’ve missed you too. The worst three days of my life.”

You laughed quietly.

“How did you figure it out?” You asked, curious. Abby sighed, but you waited.

“Oh man, this is embarrassing. I thought I was homophobic, because I hated that you were bringing girls over. Talked to Ellie, figured out I was homophobic to myself.” Abby laughed, and even though you could see the comedy in her words, you couldn't imagine what she had to go through.

“This is such a mind-fuckery.” You said sympathetically. “It must’ve felt so good to realise that.”

“It was. And then I saw you with Vi and what happened happened.”

“Oh god this is fast. Like, did you even have the time to properly process that?”

“Three days with myself would do.” Abby chuckled and you felt the guilt poking your heart.

“Sorry. I felt like I couldn’t just say sorry and move on without telling you about my feelings. But I was scared.” You admitted and Abby hummed, seeing your point. It must've been more scary for you as you knew what was happening in your head and the time turned your fear into full blown terror.  

"How long have you known?"

"That I like you? Pretty much from the beginning, but I tried really hard to stop it."

Abby laughed and you tilted your head to look at her, not understanding what was so funny.

"Remember when we hung out for the first time? When we watched that horror movie that offended you so much?"

"Yeah?"

"I was very confused why you were so far away from me. I was already into you by that point."

"I can't imagine what kind of mental somersaults you had to do to keep it hidden from yourself." You sighed and hugged her harder. “I’m very happy you’re free of the straight curse.”

Abby snorted and looked up to you, just staring, unashamed - everything about you was perfect.

“You’re so pretty.” God it felt good to say it freely, say it without shame, without broken syllables and mumbling.

You smiled and looked away, flustered, and Abby watched you with fascination - she’s never seen you like this.

“Thanks.” You tried to stop smiling but you couldn’t, and Abby’s curious and teasing gaze just made you smile more. “No, stop it.” You said, playfully stern.

“Nah, I’ll do it even more now. Seeing you crumble like this is even better than kicking your ass in Mortal Kombat.”

“Oh yeah? I still cook your food.” You threatened.

Before Abby could answer her stomach rumbled and you laughed.

“Let’s go eat.”

And everything was back to normal, but it also wasn’t. You chatted, catching up on these days you spent apart, telling each other the last gossip and complaining about classes - that was normal. But now Abby could hug you from behind and steal a kiss, her high making her bold, and you could abandon whatever you had on the stove and wrap your arms around her neck, kissing her back. Because now you didn’t have to hide from each other, second-guessing motives and actions. Now when you ate and talked you could hold hands and smile bashfully at each other, and the teasing could end in millions of short kisses. You finally let yourself hug Abby from behind while she washed the dishes and tell her what was happening with Caitlyn and Vi.  

Later you did your usual cuddle time, and Abby held you in her arms exactly like she wanted to. A few months ago you both sat on that couch - awkward and distant, too afraid of each other - to watch a movie, and now you were lying on it, kissing and cuddling, basking in each other as you gently and innocently explored what was an unattainable dream before, caressing sides and hips and ribs without heat but with a desire to get to know.

Abby swore she started to believe in magic when you touched her.

to: els

(the photo of you and Abby, Abby kissing the top of your head while you lie on top of her with the dopiest, lovesick grin on your face)

from: els

FUCK YEAH

you lucky bitch

You laughed when Abby showed you Ellie's texts and nuzzled into Abby's chest.

"Let's do a sleepover today." Abby said as she kissed your temple.

"Where?"

"In my bed."

[writethrough]

OOH

What if the group (or just reader and Eddie) go to Lover's Lake, and Jason and his goons show up and try to steal reader's clothes and Eddie gets super protective?👀 I even had a thought about both Eddie and Billy ganging up to protect reader but idk how you'd feel about that 🫣

By the Lakeside

(Billy Hargrove x Female Reader x Eddie Munson)

Warnings: Language, Jason Carver & Co., slut-shaming, suggestive situation (I think that's it. Please let me know if you see anything else.)

Word Count: 2881

A/N: Thank you for requesting this, my love! I'm a little iffy about how I wrote Billy in this one. Not sure if he comes off as too AU. I tried to keep him in character. As soon as I saw "both Eddie and Billy," I knew there was no other way to write this. I hope you enjoy!

Moodboard by @steph-speaks

Finally, after weeks of extra shifts, sick days, after-school activities, and classes: everyone could hang out.

Eddie had gotten the key to Rick’s place after the dealer had been locked up longer than anticipated. Rick said something about if that ever happened again, he needed someone to water his plants—actual house plants, to your surprise.

And since it did happen again, Eddie suggested a day at Lover’s Lake with accommodations courtesy of the inmate. Everyone quickly agreed.

You had all arrived around the same time. Eddie opened your door before dragging out the cooler Wayne had lent you.

El and Max were already in the lake with Mike and Will running to join them. Nancy and Jonathan were setting up their blanket, and Robin was tugging inner tubes out of Steve’s car.

“How many of those did you bring,” you asked as she hooked two on her arm after hanging Steve four.

“They were having a sale, and Steve had some, so,” she did some mental calculations, “ten? Yeah, ten.”

You shook your head in amusement, closed the door for her, and made your way to the rest of the group. Only one person was missing.

Billy said he would meet you after he got off work, then muttered something about “little shits” and “fucking swimming lessons.” He was all bark and no bite when teaching the kids. He guided them through each movement and reassured them when they were scared to try something new.

You remembered the first time you saw him with them. You had to pick him up because his car was in the shop. He had ushered the rest of the kids to get changed but was still talking to a little boy. You didn’t know what they were saying, but whatever Billy had told the kid had been the right thing. The boy had beamed up at Billy and threw his tiny arms around his neck before rushing into the locker room.

Billy crouched there, eyes wide, then a little smile appeared, and he looked up to find you.

“Good day?” you had asked when you were close enough to him.

He shrugged, trying to fight back the smile. “Alright, I guess.”

You kissed his cheek and whispered, “Hurry up, and I’ll make it better.”

Eddie broke you out of your thoughts by wrapping his arms around your waist.

“All set, sweetheart,” he mumbled, kissing the back of your neck.

You hummed and watched as Steve, Dustin, and Lucas rowed into the lake with their fishing rods.

Grabbing Eddie’s arm, you pulled it to look at his watch. Billy would be here soon.

“Wanna sit?” Eddie asked.

You nodded, and he led you to the blanket, pressing against your side once you were both settled. He leaned toward you, his arm behind your back, so he was as close as possible.

“You think about them tipping the boat, too?” A smirk played on his lips.

You snorted. “The second I saw it.”

Eddie let out a laugh and nudged your shoulder. “Great minds, babe. Great minds.”

Your relationship with Eddie and Billy was unique. It had taken some deep conversations between the three of you to work.

You were good for Billy—everyone could see that. Though you and he weren’t together, there was something unspoken that made you off limits—to everyone but Eddie, that was.

He had been your friend for a while before Billy moved to Hawkins. So, when you developed a friendship with Billy, he had to come to terms with the fact that Eddie was more or less part of the package.

You had all been hanging out at your place, the TV on low, Billy’s arm thrown around your shoulders, and Eddie’s head in your lap. And you couldn’t have imagined being anywhere else.

And maybe it was Eddie's brownies or the darkness that made you say, “You both make me happy.”

They must have heard the hidden meaning in your tone because they looked at you in confusion but had the smallest of smiles on their faces. Then, they shared a glance with one another.

“You make me happy, too, sweetheart,” Eddie said.

Billy brushed a thumb along your shoulder. “Only one I give a shit about, baby.”

Their soft words and intense gazes made your cheeks heat up.

“What does…What does this mean? For us?” you asked, fiddling with your fingers.

Eddie tilted your chin up. “Means we should probably talk in the morning. When we’re all more…ourselves.”

You chuckled and nodded. “Good idea.”

Billy pulled you into him more and planted a kiss on the side of your head.

“My answer’ll be the same. Ya know, before you start overthinking,” he said.

Eddie settled back on your lap. “Mine will be, too. Just so you know.”

They were calling you their girlfriend when you woke up.

“Ew!” Robin screeched. “I think a fish slipped between my toes!”

Eddie laughed, making you grin as well.

He offered you a hand, bowing low. “Care for a swim, my lady?”

Instead of taking his hand, you flung your t-shirt over your head and pulled your shorts off.

“What are you waiting for?” you asked when you saw him standing there, eyes wide.

He hurriedly rid himself of his shirt, intertwined your fingers, and tugged you to the lake.

However, neither of you noticed who had just emerged with his two friends as they got closer to where you were set up to get to their car.

“That was the freak, wasn’t it?” Andy asked, turning to the others.

Patrick nodded. “And his little girlfriend, if that’s even the word for her.”

Jason glanced at you and Eddie, then at the blanket on the grass. A slow smirk spread across his face.

He gestured toward it. “Maybe someone should teach her not to be such a slut.”

They snickered when they caught on to what Jason had in mind.

He snatched your clothes, then rummaged through your bag to find the bra and underwear you stashed for later.

The hum of an engine stopped as they continued to their vehicle.

Billy closed his car door, scanning the area for you or Eddie.

He spotted Jason, and his stomach twisted at the familiar shade of green Billy had seen on you this morning. It couldn’t be.

“She acts like a whore, so why does she need these?” Jason laughed, waving the garments around. He was met with a chorus of laughter.

Billy ground his teeth, rushing toward Jason before he could think, and clocked him across the jaw.

Billy grabbed your clothes before they hit the ground and twisted Jason’s arm behind his back.

Jason let out a pained cry.

“You wanna say that again, Carver?” Billy bit out.

“I didn’t say anything!” Jason let out another sharp yell as Billy pushed further.

“You ever do something like this again—you ever call her that again—you’ll be in the ground.” He applied more pressure to Jason’s arm. “Understand?”

“I—I understand! I understand!” Jason promised frantically.

Billy shoved Jason away from him. He wanted to push him back into the dirt as he scrambled to his feet and rushed to the parking lot with his friends.

He turned toward the lake but stopped when he saw you and Eddie walking up to him.

Billy could tell you were shivering after being in the water. Even though Eddie’s arm was thrown around your shoulders.

“Did what I think just happened actually happen?” Eddie asked, nodding to your clothes.

Billy responded by pulling you into his chest and tucking your head into his neck.

“You okay?” he whispered.

Keeping your hands on his sides, you met his eyes. “I think so…I mean, you stopped him, but…why would he take my clothes? What was the point?” The spike in adrenaline muddled your thoughts.

“Carver’s an asshole. Does he need a reason to do anything?” Eddie rubbed your back, throwing Billy a look.

You narrowed your eyes. “What?”

They were both silent for a moment before Billy spoke. “He did it ‘cause of us.”

“Us?” You tilted your head. “I know we’re not the most conventional couple, but stealing my clothes? Really?” You bit the inside of your cheek, then shook your head. “He needs to mind his own damn business.”

Billy squeezed your hip. “He ever bothers you again, you tell me.” He glanced at Eddie. “Same for you.”

Eddie saluted, breaking the remaining seriousness. “Aye, aye, Captain!”

You breathed a laugh, and Billy rolled his eyes, but the barest of smirks graced his lips.

“You still wanna stay?” Billy asked, gripping your hand.

You looked over your shoulder at the rest of your friends, laughing and splashing each other. It felt like forever since you’d all been able to hang out, and you weren’t going to let Jason Carver, of all people, ruin your day with the ones you loved.

“I really do,” you said.

Eddie tugged on your other hand. “Then, let’s get going!”

Billy set your clothes on the blanket, stripping his shirt and shoes as Eddie didn’t stop until you were in the lake.

Billy joined you, wrapping his arms around your waist and chuckling as Eddie dunked Dustin. The boys probably realized they wouldn’t catch anything with the rest of you there.

You vaguely heard the shutter of Jonathan’s camera, him giving a thumbs up when he noticed you looking.

Eddie slowly made his way over to you, soaked after Max pulled him under by his ankles.

“Your sister’s brutal,” Eddie said, though his grin contradicted his complaint.

Billy shrugged. “She plays to win.”

“At least it was her and not El.” You nodded toward the girl as she dunked Mike with her powers. “You had a fighting chance.”

Eddie rolled his eyes but smiled nonetheless. “Ha ha, you’re so funny.”

He put his hands on your waist above Billy’s on your hips. And you had to remind yourself that you were surrounded by your friends—no privacy to be found.

However, neither of them seemed to care as they stepped impossibly closer, their chests pressed against you, and you were sure they felt your breath quicken.

Billy’s lips grazed along your shoulder and neck, letting you feel their softness without kissing you outright. Eddie did the same but trailed from your jaw to your collarbone.

Your breath hitched when they hit soft spots simultaneously, and their smirks on your skin nearly made your knees buckle.

“You’re both terrible,” you whispered, barely finding your voice.

They chuckled.

“You love it.” Billy’s words rumbled against your back.

“She definitely does.” Eddie nipped the juncture of your neck, his thumbs moving to graze the underside of your breasts to let you know he felt your body’s reaction through your swimsuit.

One hand rested on Eddie’s stomach as your other slipped into Billy’s hair.

“Hey! Just a reminder that I can see you guys!” Robin shouted, her hands cupped around her mouth. “And children! There are children present!”

All three of you laughed, and you sent her a shy smile.

Billy buried his head in your neck while Eddie took your cheeks and kissed you sweetly—a temporary ceasefire.

“The food’s gonna get cold if you guys don’t move it!” she shouted again.

You bit your lip, grabbing both of their hands and pulling them out of the water.

Eddie wrapped a towel around your shoulders.

“You sit. I’ll get you some food,” he said before walking to Steve at the grill.

When Eddie returned, the three of you settled onto the blanket, surrounded by your friends. Jonathan snapped pictures of everyone, and El insisted that she get one with each person. Once developed, she’d have a particularly funny one of her giving Billy bunny ears.

After you finished eating, there were still some blueberries on your plate.

“You all done, sweetheart?” Eddie asked, pointing to the fruit.

You nodded, pushing your plate toward him.

The little smirk on Eddie’s face should’ve told you what he was planning.

He gingerly picked one up and threw it right at Steve.

“What the hell?” Steve’s brow furrowed, and in the midst of facing Eddie, he was hit in the forehead with another.

You couldn’t help your giggle as you leaned back into Billy.

Steve stood with a handful of his own berries and retaliated. Both of them ran around until they were out of ammo, and by that point, they were close enough to the water for Steve to tackle Eddie into it.

There were boos and shouts of victory amongst your friends, and you felt Billy’s chest shake as he laughed.

The sun began to set as they walked back.

Eddie flopped down, grinning. “I think I won.”

Billy scoffed. “In what world did you win?”

“In the one where I get to kiss a pretty girl ‘cause she takes pity on me.” Eddie’s grin only widened.

You rolled your eyes fondly and gave him a quick kiss.

“Better?” you asked.

“Much.”

You all sat watching the sky shift from navy to orange and pink. Eddie had pulled his hair back before laying his head in your lap. Your hand moved up and down as it rested on his chest.

“You ready to call it a night, baby?” Billy whispered in your ear, catching Eddie’s attention.

“I know we said about staying here, but would you wanna head home?” Eddie asked. “I know Billy stopped anything from happening, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want it to be just us tonight.”

“Was thinking the same,” Billy said, kissing your temple. “Wanna love on you in private.”

You hummed. “I think I’d be okay with that.”

You turned, your forehead touching Billy’s lips, smiling softly.

After saying goodbye to everyone and Eddie handing Steve the van keys. You were on your way home in Billy’s car.

Eddie unlocked the apartment door, a hand on your back for you to enter first.

“I’m gonna hop in the shower,” you said.

“Movie?” Eddie asked.

“Definitely.”

The shower gave you time to think about what had happened.

Jason was prepared to steal your clothes, and not only that, he had gone through your bag to find your bra and underwear. And even though Billy told you why Jason did it, you only started to internalize it at this moment.

Your relationship with Billy and Eddie wasn’t what others expected. You knew when they had seen you walking around with one or the other, they assumed you were cheating. Then, the gossip really ignited when you were first seen with both of them, your hand on Billy’s elbow and the other holding Eddie's.

You had eyes on you in the grocery store and caught parts of conversations between people trying to be quiet.

Isn’t that…?

She’s with both of those guys?

Do you think they’re making her do it?

Those were bad enough, but then there were the people who took things too far.

You think she takes them both?

Wonder if I can be the fourth.

Fucking skank.

It didn’t get to you much anymore. You had boyfriends in the past, but nothing could compare to the trust and communication with Billy and Eddie. You loved them with everything you had, and they loved you.

They drowned out everyone’s comments with their reassurances. And soon enough, you rarely notice it.

The novelty of your relationship died down, most people not even batting an eye. But Jason and his friends could never let it go. It was like they were…offended by it—like it was so unnatural, so dirty, so foul, that it was up to him to cleanse it. He wanted to fit everything into a little box, and when it didn’t, there was no telling what he’d do.

You dried off, threw on a pair of shorts, and swiped one of Billy’s shirts.

When you finished, the movie was ready, and popcorn sat on the coffee table.

You took your spot between them, leaning your back into Eddie once he threw his arm across the couch and placing your legs on Billy’s lap. His hand drew patterns from your toes to your knees.

The movie was halfway over when your earlier thoughts returned. And you looked at Billy, the light from the TV illuminating him.

He must have felt it because he glanced your way, then gave you a small smile.

“Everything okay?” he asked.

“Thank you,” you said, reaching a hand out for him to take.

“For what?”

Eddie paused the movie.

“For stopping Jason,” you said.

Eddie shifted, making you move so you could see both of them.

“You don’t need to thank me, baby,” Billy said, glancing at Eddie.

“Yeah, sweetheart, we’ll always have your back. We’ll always protect you,” Eddie said.

“I know.” You kissed Eddie. “I know.” Then Billy. “I just needed you both to know how grateful I am for you two.”

“Trust me. We know,” Eddie said.

Billy nodded. “And we feel the same about you.”

You smiled, looking down, then back.

“Love you both,” you mumbled shyly.

“Love you, too,” Eddie said, kissing your shoulder.

“Love you.” Billy brought your hand to his lips and kissed your knuckles.

You snuggled further into them, letting their warmth sink into you as Eddie pressed play.

Taglist: @phenomenal-bird @moonlightfountain

If you'd like to be notified when I post fics, please message me or comment with the character of your preference. You can find the characters I write for under Masterlist or Requests in my bio.

[holylulusworld]

The one that got away (5)

Summary: Your best friend breaks your heart.

Pairing: AU!Dean Winchester x fem!Reader

Warnings: angst, past unrequited feelings, regret, reunion, naughty Dean, implied innocent reader, possessive Dean, tension, unresolved feelings, idiots in love

Catch up here: The one that got away (4)

The one that got away masterlist

Dean reluctantly said goodbye that night. You didn’t go home with him, nor did you take him home. It was too soon, and you weren’t ready to forgive him yet.

He used to be your best friend but broke your heart to not admit his feelings. So many years later he expected you to just cave in and forgive him.

You’re not cruel, or stubborn. Dean simply didn’t understand that your heart was still aching any time you think about the words he said, and how he turned his back on you.

If he loved you so much – why did he never try to contact you before he crashed into your life not twenty-four hours ago?

The feelings for him are still strong, and it felt like a dream come true when he walked back into your life. Still, he cannot talk you into having sex with him only because he took a job offer in the same town.

“Not again,” you curse under your breath. All you asked him to do is give you time and space. But no. Dean is calling you for what feels like the hundredth time today. “Leave me alone, Dean Winchester. You cocky sonofabitch!”

You refuse to take the call and shut your phone off. If he wants to talk to you, Dean must come to you, and offer redemption, and a better explanation than being a stupid boy.

He’s a man for a few years and never tried to make amends. Dean cannot come back and believe everything will go back to normal.

“Sweetheart, I know you are at home,” Dean knocks again. He calls your name and offers pie and booze if you open the door. “Y/N, I came to check on you! Are you alright? Are you still alive? You didn’t answer my calls.”

“For fuck’s sake, Winchester,” you rip the door open to glare at Dean. “It’s Sunday morning but thanks to you I’m wide awake. What is wrong with you? Can you not get a message? I didn’t want to talk to you.”

“There she is,” he grins and invades your home. Dean kicks your door shut with his boot and pushes the flowers he stole from your neighbor’s garden into your hands. “Greetings from your asshole neighbor. Man, he didn’t take it lightly that I picked a few of his flowers.”

“Winchester, are you fucking insane? You can’t just steal flowers from my neighbor’s garden! Do you have no shame or manners?”

“I needed some flowers, and the old geezer had more than enough,” he has the guts to shrug. “Do you like them?” Dean grins. “I know you like them.”

“Not if you stole them,” you grunt. “Dean, what do you want from me? I asked you to give me space and time to think about a few things. Now you are here and want what?”

“Y/N,” he sighs deeply and shrugs again. “I have waited for so long to find you again, and now, I can’t get you out of my head.” Dean steps closer to poke your upper arm. “Come on, let’s be crazy and have beer and pie for breakfast.”

“You’re crazy if you believe I’ll eat pie for breakfast.”

“Well then, invite me for breakfast and lunch. We can put the pie in the fridge and eat it later. I’ll pay for dinner tonight.”

Goddamn that man. He’s cocky and self-confident. Dean looks at you, using the puppy dog look he learned from his younger brother to make your resolve grumble.

“Dean, you can’t come here and—” you grunt as he presses his index finger against your lips. You bite his finger, making Dean yelp.

“Hey! Save the biting for the bedroom.” You blink at his words. “I…uh-I meant you shouldn’t bite a man’s finger for no reason.”

You purse your lips, and snicker. “I didn’t ask you to put your finger in my face. If you push your finger into my face, I’ll bite you!”

His features darken for a split second. He hums and lazily licks his lower lip. “What if I push something else in your face?”

“What? DEAN WINCHESTER! You pervert.”

Oh, that smirk grows, and he gives you a wink. “I was talking about my lips, sweetheart. What did you think I meant?” He acts innocently. Dean is a wolf hiding behind his pretty façade. If you don’t want out, you end up devoured by him.

“I know exactly what you mean, Dean!”

“Hmm…�� he purses his lips. “So…” Dean dips his head to glance at the pie. “Pie for breakfast – yes or no.”

This time, you sigh. “Fine, we can have breakfast together. But nothing else.”

“Breakfast is the most important meal, Y/N,” he says. “Maybe I’ll get a nice dessert?” He drops his eyes to your lower half. “Yeah, that would be great…”

Part 6

Tags in reblog.

[latinapoetbts]

It Was So Wrong It Was Right [PT 3] - KTH & Y/N (Latina)

Story Summary: Y/N loved her twin sister and brother-in-law (KTH) more than life. She would do anything for their happiness; they were all she had after losing her parents. When her twin sister and brother-in-law (KTH) dream of starting a family together comes crumbling down, she can't say no when they ask for her help, even in the most unorthodox way. She'd never tell them no, even if it ruined her in the process. Labels: KTH / Latina Reader Insert | Mini Series AU, Angst, Smut, 18 + Unrequited Love, Psychological Distress | No editing

Part one HERE | Master List | Part 2

Part 3: The After Math.

Hearing the phone ring repeatedly, I winced, then came the buzzing notifying me of the multiple text messages. I know I needed to answer, I just didn't want to. I need a break from the incessant calling and the every 3-day visits from my sister and her husband. I knew she was excited and eager to know the results; she wanted to be a mother so bad. But it was starting to chip away at my soul. I couldn't stand seeing Tae Hyung every 3 days. The tension and the awkwardness were too much. I thought I could be their surrogate. I thought I could compartmentalize, treat the sex as just a guy I knew who would fulfill my horny needs for the night. But no, that’s not what this was at all. It wasn’t just sex for me. I had the best sex of my life with my sister's husband, my high school crush, rekindling the feelings I had buried deep within all those years ago. 

What made everything worse the morning after; I woke up and he was gone. He left as if he had never been there leaving no trace of himself. The rejection I experienced was so personal and deep that I cried for hours. Then came the shame, the voice in my head of what a horrible slut of a sister I am. Next were feelings of anger and jealousy. Anger and jealousy, feelings I thought I had locked away and let go. I got to taste and have what I always wanted, what I had fantasized about more times than I care to admit. I had accepted he was out of reach and always would be since my sister started dating him. Yet, that night, it was as if I had tasted the forbidden fruit and was now addicted. I couldn't stop thinking about the way his mouth felt on my pussy, the way his lips devoured me. His voice was deep and thick with lust, claiming he wanted to fuck me forever. Each night I closed my eyes, I could visualize him hovering over me, eyes locked with mine in pure bliss as he trusted into my drenched pussy over and over again. I shamefully pleasured myself to the memory of fucking him, rutting against my fingers and my vibrator barely getting relief because my body wanted him and only him. The memories and flashbacks were tortuous. I wanted it to stop but I couldn't control myself.

It had been 7 weeks since I had fucked my sister's husband, and like clockwork, my sister and Tae would come over every three days for me to take a store-bought pregnancy test. She wanted to be there with Tae each time to be part of the experience of finding out they would have a baby. No matter the results from this test today, I was scheduled for my second blood test. Every two weeks, I was to take a blood test, and every three days, a home pregnancy test. The ringtone from my sister calling broke through my thoughts. I should answer; they are probably already outside. I answer the phone, forcing a smile on my lips.

“Hey, Y/N, I hope you drank a lot of water! We are here outside, I just wanted to ensure I didn’t barge in if you were sleeping or resting. I know you need your rest.” She set alarms on my phone so I could drink water during the hour, and I was well hydrated. I wasn’t even pregnant yet, and I felt like she was smothering me. She constantly asked me about my bedtime routine, my self-care, and whether I was getting enough sleep and eating well. She gave me frequent reminders to make sure I was not having sex with anyone else at this time because she wanted to ensure Tae Hyung was the father. I felt my humanity slowly dying. 

“Yes, Adri, I drank a lot of water; come on in.” I walked towards the door and saw my sister already walking in. I regretted giving her a key. I ensured I displayed a big, friendly, happy smile, hoping my eyes did not give away my true feelings of remorse, shame, guilt, and longing. I kept my eyes on her as I gave a weak “hello” to Tae Hyung, quickly moving to hug my sister and walking towards the kitchen, I felt my gut clench in sadness hearing his soft “hi” as I walked away, not giving him any type of eyes contact. 

“I’m so excited! I know not to get our hopes up! But Y/N I’m feeling really good about this one”, I kept my eyes low, my sister and Tae Hyung taking a seat on the coach.

“Guess we will find out soon enough..” I tried to sound pleasant as I busied myself to get water. 

“Does anyone want anything to drink?” I asked being polite.

“Do you have any whiskey?” I heard the slight distress in Tae’s voice. Something was up, even more than this fucked up situation. He needed this drink, I could tell in his voice. What did he know that I was going to soon find out. 

“I do…how do you want…”

“Give it to me straight”, he cut me off. Whatever I was going to find out today must be bad based on the way he wanted his whiskey. I knew Tae Hyung well, I knew depending on the way he asked for his whisky to be prepared was how bad the information was going to be. 

I prepared his drink, my ears picking up on the whispers between Tae and Adrianna. I watched, sipping water from my glass as she gently held his cheek in her hand, stroking him with her thumb, her gazing so loving, his eyes full of what I deemed as worry. I cleared my throat, entered the living room, and placed Tae’s drink on the coffee table. I ensured that I avoided eye contact, as I do every time he enters my space. Avoiding him was always the exact opposite of what my treacherous, moral-less body and soul wanted. I wanted to drown in his beautiful chocolate-colored almond-shaped eyes, melt into his pleasing touch, and feel his lips on my skin, but it was all so wrong. I grabbed the pregnancy test out of my sister's hand and went to do my business in the bathroom, bringing the pregnancy stick back to the table. My sister was already ready with the timer. We sit silently for a moment before my sister's voice breaks me out of my anxious thoughts, my eyes set on the coffee table. I hate the deafening silence. 

“How have you been feeling today?” 

“I’m fine Adri…” my voice cracking.

“Tae, do you have any questions for Y/N?”  I keep my eyes on the table not daring to look at him.

“No..” his voice sounded as weak as mine.

“You know what? You are both adults. You guys need to act like it and get over the awkwardness. We are bringing a little human into the world who is going to depend on us. We are family and always will be. Everything is going to be fine. We will get through this.” I lift my eyes to my sister, her eyes tender, her smile warm, her hand on Tae Hyungs knee. 

“Ok. Your right Adri…your right…” I lift my eyes to Tae Hyung, his eyes were already on mine with an unreadable distance expression and a weak smile on his lips. 

The timer rings demanding our attention. Adriana leaps into action. 

“Ok, guys, come close. Let's look!” She squeals with hope she stays so positive and hopeful is beyond me. Please, God, I beg, my eyes closed; I want, I just wanted it to be over be, pregnant give my sister and Tae what they wanted and move on with my life. 

“Negative.” I heard the sadness in her voice. I was frozen, not sure which empathic statement to draw from that would be sincere and not on repeat.

“That’s ok, we still have the blood test tomorrow!” She rises from the couch with the pregnancy test kit heading to the kitchen to clean it all up. I grab my cup heading to the kitchen to grab more water. 

“Yes, we do. Don’t worry I’ll call you as soon as the email results come in and I know not to open it till you get here. 

The Blood Test Results

I avoided checking my email for the next 24 hours knowing the lab we test at is very fast. But I knew my sister knew this as well. It’s 10 pm and I finally look, and it's there. I texted my sister and let her know I’d see her and Tae tomorrow at 6 pm after I get off of work. I barely make it through the day trying to focus on my work but the dread of opening the email took most of my attention. What if I am pregnant? Then this is really happening. What if I’m still not pregnant, maybe I can't have children either. Why does Tae look so distant and worried? I couldn't keep the thoughts at bay.

When I arrived home, Adriana and Tae were already parked outside my house, my sister with takeout in her hands. They were planning on staying I wondered. She was really feeling this one. 

“How…”, I cut her off before she could finish.

“I’m fine Adri, healthy and happy just like Yesterday.” I smile the best happiest fake smile at her.

“Let’s go inside.” I walk past smiling weakly at Tae Hyung, I had to at least try to be normal as much as I could hiding the fact I have not gone one single night without pleasuring myself to the memory of him fucking me. It was as if I was a horny teenage boy. 

After settling at the dinner table with food to distract us from small talk. “Well, let's get to it,” I stand to break the awkward silence, moving to grab my phone. We count to the number of three, and all of them see our emails at the same time. There was that moment of pause where we each looked at the pregnancy hormone count. The number was too low to. I was not pregnant. I let out a breath of relief. I felt a swirl of emotions. I wanted to be done with this process. I thought there was a part of me that was relieved I was not pregnant. There was also worry. This would be the 8th week since Tae Hyung and I had slept together. I knew this was where I needed to stand my ground and gently suggest adoption for them. 

“Adri, I’m sorry…” I wanted to show my sister empathy and help her accept the idea of adopting.

“No y/n,  It’s ok. I’m fine. We are fine. Y/N…” I watch with observant eyes. My sister grabs Tae Hyung's hand in hers, his head hung low, his eyes shielded. I imagined he must have felt devastated I know how much he too wants to be a father and wants to see my sister happy. After her eyes glance at Tae Hyung looking for his gaze she turns to me.

“....Tae and I already talked about this and I just need for you guys to try again. We will book for two nights…”

“What!? Adri…you can’t be serious…” I felt my heart beat increase and my body heat.

“Y/N. Please..he only came one time inside you. He told me. I need you guys to try 2 to 3 times, I know you both…”

“Tae! Say something!!” My eye started at him in wild, frantic bewilderment. No. I can’t believe he would agree to this again. Yet nothing. He says nothing and does not lift his eyes. Yet I can see how white his knuckles are from how tightly he clenches them. 

 Tae Hyung! Fucking Look at me! Are you actually fucking ok with this!?” I could feel my body trembling and the barely-kept rage in my voice. I was nearly shouting. He kept his eyes low and cleared his throat.

“This. will be. the last time…” his voice came out low and stern, the voice of a broken, angry man as he stood and stocked outside. I felt a deep need to run after him, console him, and have him console me. But I stood there in the living room, feet planted, my eyes fixed on the man, and my heart and soul were chained to walk away. 

“Adri, I can’t do this again…I’m sorry, I can’t…” I turn to walk to the kitchen tears brimming my eyes.

“Please, understand…”, I grip the kitchen countertop. Is this the day I lost everything because I couldn't give her all she asked of me? She was the only family I had left; she was half of me and all of me simultaneously. No one knows the bond of identical twins unless you are one. I thought I would do anything for her, and I have, but I just can’t do this again. It would utterly destroy me. I entered the world with her at my side, breathed into existence with her, and I will leave this world without her love, rejected by her. I felt a sob began to build in my gut. As I listened to her movement in the living room. I could not see her from this angle, but I could feel and hear her grabbing her belongings and putting on her shoes at the door. 

“I’m sorry Adri… I just can’t…” I let the words come out in a whisper as I listened to the door open and close. I knew she was gone.

[benwvatt]

for the weekend sleepover ask game: what are your favorite Grey's headcanons?

aaaaahhhh beachy i love chatting with you! <3

i need alex & jackson & april to move in together and be, like a weird group of 3. sort of a grover-percy-annabeth or a katara-sokka-aang in terms of the cheesy couple and their weird best friend who has emotional regulation issues but, like, needs hugs. he just also needs you to be chill so he doesn't feel embarrassed. and when he's sick he also wants japril to watch movies with him and make him chamomile tea

jackson fell first but april fell harder!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

can we please give matthew some actual character development because i would LOVE to see him actually grow & develop. I'm an exchristian and I really loved the episode where matthew & april talked about her not being a virgin because I found it very insightful and lovely.

I am team-matthew's wife never dies and april never marries matthew and he actually gets to grow as a human being. also he gets to be happy.

I always loved April as christian representation because she is a christian but is so kind (and I also headcanon that she has very complex feelings about christianity and the struggle against god. I can see her partly deconstructing.)

I am team-everyone lives AU. teddy and henry were CUTE. so were teddy and alison, and merder (who are not, like, my absolute favorites but I want them to be happy and I want derek to become a better person, not die because he reached for his phone while turning his truck.)

IF SAMUEL HAD LIVED AND JAPRIL COULD HAVE GOTTEN A STORYLINE ABOUT RAISING A DISABLED KID !!!! IT COULD HAVE BEEN GOOD DISABILITY REP!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am also team "Link and Amelia get back together" because I LOVE their romance and am so mad they broke up

I realize not all of these are headcanons. this is just a list of what I want to see. WHATEVER???

nonbinary callie because [gestures at sara ramirez in all their glory]

CALLIE AND ARIZONA SECOND WEDDING TO RENEW THEIR VOWS

also mark & lexie live happily ever ever ever after and they dance at the second wedding <3

okay we both love japril so also

Jackson is really good at crosswords and April is so fucking pissed at him for it

April (with Jackson's consent) yells at Jackson's dad for being terrible and Jackson becomes weird best friends with April's dad. They drink beer and listen to country songs and talk about, like, spirituality and god and soccer games and cherry pie recipes. Jackson learns how to drive a tractor and he meets Jackson, the pig April named after him, which the Kepners refuse to kill because HE IS NAMED A HUMAN NAME.

They also talk about April's embarrassing cute childhood (Jackson has 65353 pictures on his phone) and Jackson ALSO yells at April's family for making her feel embarrassed. Kids with disabilities and braces don't need to be shamed and mocked.

Jackson becomes friends with April's dad because he gets to have a dad (well, aside from Webber, who is also a nice dad figure) who loves him for HIM :'))))))))))))))

it's very healing and wonderful. he totally cries on mr. kepner's flannel shirt.

Jackson keeps his lucky pencil from med school and fucking signs his marriage certificate with it. (Office person voice: Sir, that's not valid. We need BLACK or BLUE PEN.)

JACKSON AND APRIL START A GLOBAL HEALTH NONPROFIT

Can we please have an April-centric storyline about why the US military fucking sucks and she had a nice time with them but was also, uh, IN THE MILITARY

April goes to her med school reunion and is like, "oh? this guy? yeah, whatever, he's super famous. mostly he just makes me tea and hangs out with our kids, I don't think of him as an AVERY"

everyone is super impressed. jackson is silly and goofy and eats hors d'ouevres with her

can we please get a Reed Lives AU because I LOVE REED (mostly because i am gay and i think she has cool hair) and I want to see more of her and April's friendship.

marginally off-topic rant but: the San Francisco episodes where they're doing the board exams and japril has sex in the bathroom? MY HEADCANON - VERY SLIGHT - IS THAT THEY WOULD JUST HAVE SEX ON THE COUNTER, NOT GO INTO THE STALL AND SLAM THE DOOR SHUT

BECAUSE WHY WOULD YOU NEED TO LOCK THE STALL AND HAVE SEX IN THERE IF THE MAIN BATHROOM DOOR IS ALREADY LOCKED?????????

also, april totally takes kickboxing lessons after beating up that guy at the bar (at the boards) and Jackson is just Very Turned On by his cool friend who, like, comes home from kickboxing all SWEATY? and BRUISED? taking off the tape around her hands and peeling off her tank top to get in the shower? it's really hot and he's very confused.

[fic-recommended]

Shyan Fics

more to be added, if I feel like adding

—————————————

I’ll Crawl Home – carrieonfighting

(16,024 words / 6 chapters / Teen and up)

Tags: Demon!Shane, Angst, Non-Linear Narrative, bc im PRETENTIOUS, Protective!Shane

"Shane was almost unnerved by how quickly he’d settled into this body, this name, this life - his friendship with Ryan was the most time he’d spent with any human before, and yet the man fascinated him."

Wow. That’s all I gotta say. I started reading Shane/Ryan fic because I had a weird dream and went looking for comfort fic to ease the edges of my mind. I stumbled upon this fic and was so fucking blown away. I was drawn in because of the demon!Shane tag and the way this story is charted out is insane. It’s nonlinear (there is a liner version tho I’m strongly against it). Just ohmygod read this fic it’s insane and hurts so good.

I’m Gonna Keep You in Love with Me (for a While) – beethechange

(21,847 words / 1 chapter / Explicit)

Tags: fake married, also real married, friends to husbands to lovers to ???, Las Vegas Wedding, possible dubious consent due to alcohol consumption, Anal Sex, Hand Jobs, Oral Sex, Rimming, just assume most of the kinds of sex are present here, probably more Celine Dion than you were hoping for, they say "fuck" a lot, also "dude" but I don't make the rules okay, Bedsharing

Shane is pacing around the hotel room. It’s not a huge room and Shane’s legs are long enough that he doesn’t have much real estate to pace before he has to swing back around for another loop.

“Can you stop?” Ryan asks. “You’re making me dizzy.”

“Okay,” Shane says finally. “Okay. Here’s what we’re going to do. We’re just going to—we’re going to be married. The only way out is through.”

“Um,” Ryan says, because this plan strikes him as counterproductive to their shared goal of not being married.

To me there are the big two when thinking of Shane/Ryan fics. That is to say the others aren’t amazing but two gutted me in a way I was not expecting from I ship I don’t even ship. This is one of the two and fucks sake it hurts me but in a way I really like and neeeeeded. (The other is the one above this)

Muscles Better and Nerves More – beethechange

(26,301 words / 1 chapter / Explicit)

Tags: Bodyswap, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Getting Together, First Time, Pining, Slow Burn, Masturbation, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Anal Fingering, Body Horror, Rituals, Swearing, Sexy Shame

“I’m serious,” Ryan says. “Don’t go fucking up my body. I want that shit back in the same condition I left it.”

“The same condition—Ryan. I’m not spending hours in a gym every day so you don’t lose muscle mass.”

“I want you to treat my body with the respect you would a national park. Leave nothing but footprints, take nothing but memories.”

***

A certain meddling Voodoo Queen of New Orleans thinks Ryan and Shane need some new perspective on life. After an inadvisable ritual deposits Ryan in Shane’s body, and Shane in Ryan’s, the ghoulboys pursue some soul-searching and self-discovery to put things right. Sometimes in a sexy way.

I have found out while reading this fic that I am also a sucker for bodyswap!au. Something about learning to love someone completely while seeing (and being lmao) all of them is so intimate and endearing to me. Plus there’s dumplings in this fic and that is just sweet sweet poetry.

If you can find a way to love me, it’s all right – varnes

(11,232 words / 1 chapter / Teen and up)

Tags: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Psychic Ryan

When Ryan was a kid, he fell into a pile of bricks. They were playing hide and seek, and he thought he had the best hiding spot: high up in a thickly lush tree, his knees drawn to his chest so that he’d blend in. But the branch broke. He hit his head and doesn’t remember much of what happened after that. When he woke up a few hours later, the sun was setting, and his friends were gone, and his parents were calling for him, their flashlights swinging across the grass. There’d been blood on his bangs.

Anyway, now he can see ghosts.

Kind of.

Look, he’s not great at it.

--

Or: Ryan, personally, has three lists: “NICE GHOSTS,” “GHOSTS I DON’T FUCK WITH,” and, “IDK, SPOOKY STUFF.”

Oh my goddddd this fic is so sweet and so owie. At first I was skeptical because the fanon is that Shane can see demons or ghosts or whatever. But having it be Ryan???? So owie in such a good way. Other then this fic being the masterpiece that it is, I’m going to convince you with one sentence: Ryan has a cat with a ghost in it that demands Taco Bell. That’s it baybee. Read it or you’ll regret itttt.

BFFS Get Married For A Week – Ryan and Shane – aspookycryptidsock

(18,108 words / 8 chapters / Explicit)

Tags: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fake Marriage, Friends to Lovers, Oral Sex, Hand Jobs, Pining, Mutual Pining

"As I was saying," Curly continues with a pointed glare in Ryan's direction. "It's my honor to join the two of you in unholy matrimony. The rules are simple, you'll live together, plan one date each, and cherish each other. Til week do you part."

I first read this fic years and years ago. I don’t know how it happened but me and my best friend found it while being at a library and we went feral reading it before their mom picked us up. It’s my origin story to the ship. This fic is my first love and my baby gorl. Shane is intense in a way I lovelovelove. Ryan is dumber then a pile a bricks amen.

Body Farming – shiphitsthefan

(7,251 words / 1 chapter / Explicit)

Tags: Season/Series 04, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha Shane Madej, Protective Shane Madej, Omega Ryan Bergara, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mutual Pining, Scenting, Multiple Orgasms, Knotting, Daddy Kink, Size Kink, Dirty Talk, Dom/sub Undertones, Filth with Feelings, Community: bfukinkmeme, Multisex Omega

Failed suppressants and a surprise heat: the worst of cliches, and here Ryan stands, living the trope on location with the alpha he’s hopelessly in love with. Even worse, they’re spending the night in the famous Bell Witch Cave, completely alone and with no way to contact the outside world.

Ryan knows he can survive and keep his preheat a secret, as long as Shane will stop being so protective and concerned. After all, it’s not like Shane wants to bond with him.

Right?

Your honor I’d like to state my case by saying being horny on main is bc I’m silly goofy and I never meant no harm. ABO fuck or die in a cave? Fuccck kkkk y e aaaa

Por Favor, Sweetheart – carrieonfighting

(7,859 words / 1 chapter / Teen and up)

Tags: Kid Fic, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Accidental Baby Acquisition, ryan dadgara, and shane dadej, Original Baby Character - Freeform, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, You Have Been Warned

Two dorks raise a baby and don't even realise they're doing it together until it's too late

Alternatively, Ryan Bergara is Trying His Best Thanks

Ryan gains custody of a baby and is strugggglinnnggg until a Sasquatch comes and helps <3. Ain’t nothing says romance baybeee then an actual baby.

daring it’s a faded notion – varnes

(28,760 words / 5 chapters / Explicit)

Tags: Paranormal shenanigans, y'all remember that trope where people can't be more than 5 feet apart without Suffering?

The sun is too bright and Ryan’s whole body is alight with something that is eating him all the way up from the inside out, but he keeps his eyes open and he makes himself look, and he tells himself that once he finds Shane, he’ll think about it. Once he finds Shane, they’ll make a plan. Once he finds Shane, and only then, he’ll let himself have the thought he’s been swallowing down like bile since he came to: that they didn’t fall.

They were pushed.

OR: Ryan and Shane get cursed by a ghost, and now they can't be not-touching. It's ... not great.

Ghosties don’t like the no homo and said ummm yeeeeet!!! Into the Grand Canyon then the ghoul boys kiss???? Makes me go hubba hubba

Collide - needywitch

(35,310 words / 2 chapters / Explicit)

Tags: Pining, Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Eventual Smut, Slow Burn, Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Happy Ending, Getting Together, Falling In Love, Biting, First Time, Dirty Talk, Love Confessions, Rough Sex, Shane Madej Has a Big Dick

Ryan is desperately in love with his best friend.

Owieeeeeee. This one made me cryyyy. The prose of this fic along with a healthy usage of the word jaunty made this fic deeply emotional as well as made me want to cry when they kissed. Very excellent

A Perfect Piece of Ass, Like Every Californian - beethechange

(25,706 words / 3 chapters / Explicit)

Tags: entirely self-indulgent PWP, smut with feelings, Threesome, Birthday Sex, Oral Sex, lotta ball stuff here folks, so i hope you like balls, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Sexy Air Traffic Conducting, Vaginal Sex, Voyeurism

“Happy birthday, Shane,” Sara says. “I got you a Ryan.”

“Th—thanks?” Shane says. He looks at Ryan and Ryan just looks back, weirdly impassive, giving nothing away. “But I’m pretty sure I already have a Ryan in this model. What’s the return policy?”

“Not like this, you don’t,” she says, raising her eyebrows meaningfully. Out of the corner of his eye Shane can see Ryan bring his hand to his mouth, stifling a snicker that he turns into a cough. Oh, he thinks.

Oh shit.

I’m not gonna sit here and pretend that this fic is morally correct but Shane/Sara/Ryan fic is what I needed and it blew me away and it is the best smut thank you goodnight

[inafieldofdaisies]

WIP Wednesday | Tagged by @socially-awkward-skeleton and @direwombat

Checking-in with some more of John and Sabrina's AU: from Oliver and Leslie coming clean about their wrongdoings to John's no-so-pleasant introduction to his neighbors. Mwah.

Leslie watched Oliver rush in the division, headed towards his desk with conviction. "Fucker is more patient than expected.", he muttered and threw himself in one of the chairs across from him. "I still can't believe you went there to begin with." "I did it for you, and for her. We need to know who exactly we're dealing with." Leslie's eyes quickly darted to his, before returning to his computer screen, "Nothing comes up on him. He's clean." "You ran a check on him?", Oliver asked and gave him a mischievous smile, "You changed your mind, didn't you? You're not giving up on her." "Nothing like that.", the stern look didn't erase his wide grin, "You said it yourself, we need to know who we're dealing with." "Sure. Tell yourself that.", he gestured behind him, "Rina's on her way up, too. Though, with how he was looking at her like he was about to eat her and not his lunch, it might be a while." Leslie frowned at the absolutely unnecessary information, "I didn't ask." "I'm just debriefing you.", McKenzie shrugged innocently, "You don't like it… man up, Leslie, and do something to shift the tide." "Drop the idea. Better yet, drop the pirate puns." "Can't do. I'm loving playing wingman, but you might want to consider hazard pay for good old Ollie." Leslie scrunched his nose, "Do I even want to know?"

"Sat next to the guy, and you know how tiny Rue's booths are. Have to say, my instincts were screaming at me I might get stabbed at any moment. Fucked with him nonetheless. Even made him pay for my food." His eyes narrowed, "Didn't you just say he was patient?" "Patient. But a storm was brewing beneath it all. I can tell when I need to stop pushing, you know.", Oliver leaned back in his chair, locking his hands at the nape of his neck, "He sure almost broke character when I mentioned a three-way." "You-" "Absolutely did.", he appeared as if he was contemplating something, "Icky visuals to picture, between Rina and him looking like you… no offense. I feel like that threesome will scar me and not in a good way." Leslie snorted at the idea, "He doesn't look like me." "Leslie, do you own a mirror?" The door put an end to their argument about the looks of Sabrina's date. The two watched her silently make her way over to her desk, and her flushed cheeks made him question if Oliver had been right about her taking extra time bidding John goodbye. "Any deliveries for me?", she finally spoke up, leaning against her desk as she regarded them the same way she did with suspects. "Nope.", McKenzie retorted quickly, "You waiting on something, Rina? Did you do some late-night online shopping?" "John sent flowers." "He did?", Leslie made the mistake of joining the conversation. "Indeed. So you two just skip to the part where you tell me what happened to them."

"What a frivolous accusation.", Oliver chirped at the same time as Parish rolled away from his desk to pull out the waste bin and slide it over to her. "What?", Sabrina reached out to touch one one of the pitiful roses. "I threw it away." McKenzie swore under his breath at the unprompted confession. A confused frown marred her features, "Why, Leslie?" "Because it was disrespectful as hell." "I don't understand. He sent me flowers. Flowers, Leslie. Why would-" "Read the fucking card, Rina. Not only is he pompous and cliched as hell, but he has no damn shame either.", Oliver cut her off. Sabrina looked between him and the bouquet before reluctantly picking up the card laying on top. Leslie could tell exactly when she came to the realization, her lips forming a small 'oh' before she pursed them in disapproval, aimed at the wrong perpetrator. "Listen, I'm not shaming ya, you ride whoever you want to ride.", Oliver broke the silence again, "I don't give a fuck if he's a lawyer, a senator, hell, even my father, though my ma would take offense. But this,", he gestured to her hands holding the card, "is tacky. Frankly borderline criminal." "Guys.", a sigh, then she stopped. "What? Tell me you love the flowers. Come on. 100 roses or fuck knows how many, paired with that card. To your workplace. Romantic." "Ollie.", Leslie muttered under his breath, "That's enough." "I didn't…", she huffed, throwing the card at Oliver, "I didn't sleep with him."

He, in turn, opened the small piece of paper and presented it, finger tapping the writing on the inside for good measure, "'Thank you for last night.'" "I helped him with something.", she pointed at him, "And no, I'm not telling you after the shit you pulled at lunch. Hell, it's a miracle he still wants to go out again after being hit by hurricane Oliver." "I'm sorry.", the look aimed at him reeked of disbelief, "I truly am. But come on, you can't leave me hanging. I need more that 'I helped with something' to believe it's all innocent." "You're just going to keep pestering me the whole day until I tell you, aren't you?" McKenzie smirked, "Have we met? Damn right, I will." "No word about it. Promise me. Both of you." "We do. Spill.", he said quickly before Leslie even had a chance to respond. "A bat went into his hotel room while he was in the shower or something.", she let out a small laugh, "He called me, freaking out. I helped him to deal with the poor thing. No bats were harmed." Oliver tilted his head, "But can we say the same about his family jewels?" "Ollie." "What? You know they tend to dangle, hence why they'd look like a target…" "Gross." "Just an observation." "Les, any snarky comments from you? So we can move on from the subject." "Nope. Got nothing."

Sabrina cleared her throat, "The flowers are a 'thank you' for that." "I still don't like it.", Parish uttered out. "Of course you don't. You all won't approve of anyone I'd choose to go out with, not just John. Nobody would be good enough." "No. He doesn't have to be perfect.", it was his turn to point at the roses that were a thorn in his eye, no matter their true purpose, "First thing he does out in the open and he's overdoing it, sending you a bouquet you can't even hold without being hidden behind it. Did he even ask if you like roses?" "Roses are perfectly fine." "They sure aren't something you'd pick." "Doesn't matter. It's the gesture I care about. The fact that he thought of me." Oliver groaned at her excuse, "And the card? Can't tell me he didn't know it could be taken out of context." "He probably wanted to make me laugh.", she crossed her arms, fully set on believing she knew a man she just met, "You saw him at lunch. He's well-behaved, a gentleman. He paid for your food, for heaven's sake. He didn't have to." "Sure he is. You forgot weird from the list, by the way." "I like him, Ollie, strangeness included. And I don't want to argue with either of you, all because I went out on one date." Sabrina took a few steps forward until she was standing next to Leslie's desk and offered out both of her hands for each detective to take, "Understood?" Oliver was the first to react, faking a handshake, which made her smile, "Fine, fine. I still don't know what you see in Batman, especially with how much he looks like a slightly shrunken version of Leslie. You better hope nothing below the belt is-"

"Oliver, oh my f-" "He doesn't look anything like me.", Leslie cut in. "But…", McKenzie made a dramatic pause, "I will tolerate his existence." "Batman? You better not call him that to his face." He patter her hand, "No promises." "Les?", her eyes moved to Parish, noticing he had made no move to grab her hand. A few beats passed and he finally caved in. "Fine.", he muttered in defeat as he enveloped it in his, "As long as you're happy, I'm happy." Leslie did his hardest to avoid the pointed look Oliver tried to give him from across the desk, releasing her hand as he added, "We got a tip on Keats while you were at lunch. Right when you left. Seemed promising, but… nothing came out of it." "You went there? Why- why didn't you call me?", her voice rose at the potential of finally capturing a suspect in one of their older cases, "I told you-" "And ruin your date?" Sabrina rolled her eyes, "Oliver was already on that. You should have called." "I was not. Excuse me for going hungry and stopping at my favorite restaurant where you happened to be, too. Not my fault Batman can't handle another man's presence as he's trying to charm the pants off someone. Hell, he should have thanked me for making things more interesting.", Oliver rattled on. "Ollie." "Yeah?" "You were in his space, stealing his food… when you had your own."

"I was testing his generosity.", he argued, "If he can't share with me, how will he be with my goddaughter?" "What am I going to do with you…", she sighed in exasperation, "Now, enough of you trying to distract me and save Leslie from getting an earful about being reckless." "Don't stop at my expense, Rina. I'm waiting for the spanking, you know I love a good show." Leslie ignored his remarks, "It's not a big deal. All I got to see was an empty house." She sent a frown his way at the nonchalant tone he had used, "Doesn't matter. Wherever you go, I come, too. It's protocol." "I was in no danger whatsoever. Keats is half my size." "It's how you go shot last time, Leslie. Going off on your own. Or did you forget it altogether?" It was almost impossible to erase the memory, of thinking he was going to bleed to death after a suspect had blindsided him, only to be found by a good samaritan, passed out in a warehouse the middle of nowhere in a pool of his own blood. A miracle. He still carried the scar of the bullet that had almost taken his life. Had gotten a tattoo near it to remind himself he had pulled through, that he was still breathing. Sabrina knew it. "You weren't even here back then, Rina." "You-", her hazel eyes narrowed as she smacked his shoulder, "No stunts like that, swear it." "I promise." "Good. Because you're not dying on me, Parish.", she said with conviction before setting on trying to salvage whatever she could from the flowers, just as the phone on his desk rang with a new tip.

"So you would advise me against that?", Owen Montgomery asked for what felt like the hundredth time, causing John to pinch the bridge of his nose as he pushed his simmering frustration down. "That's exactly what I said, Owen." "But-", the man started again and he interrupted him before he could slip into another useless deviation from the issue at hand, from the fact he was close to ending up with nothing as settlement. "Do you want to live in a one-bedroom apartment in the bad side of town?", John asked flatly, "Because that would happen if you go against the prenuptial agreement." Owen let out a string of curses, directed at his soon to be ex-wife. "The settlement is more than generous.", he reminded his client, "You wanted the divorce, you either accept what she's willing to give you or find a way to convince her to be more lenient on your own." John doubted the latter was possible, considering the Mrs. Montgomery had a team of lawyers that communicated with Owen on her behalf after she had cut off all contact with her husband. "I-", he stopped himself, silence taking over his side. "Are we clear?" Owen sighed, "Yeah. Thank you, I guess." He hung up with that without sparing any pleasantries. In a way, John could blame his wife for the way she was responding to the divorce proceedings, considering he was not only leaving her for another woman, but also trying to start anew with her hard earned money. Owen Montgomery was what could be considered a nightmare client. Always making demands, not once stopping to consider how outrageous they would get.

After parting ways with Sabrina, John had returned to his hotel, successfully avoiding any encounters with Candice Donovan. He rolled his shoulders and leaned back in his chair, feeling some of the tension that had accumulated thanks to sitting at the small desk for a couple of hours and going over various clients' complaints. If the amount of calls Penny had transferred straight to him was any indicator, she probably hadn't exactly bothered to clear out his schedule either. At some point into his second phone call, he had moved from loosening his tie to fully removing it. He felt like he could breathe easier with a couple of buttons of his shirt undone and was glad he wasn't dealing with his clients face to face after so soon after having to tolerate Oliver. The fact his PA seemed to only do the bare minimum of her duties wasn't helping matters.

Once he had taken care of everything that needed to be addressed immediately, John settled for staying in again and ordering room service after taking a quick freezing shower. Instead of reaching for a towel like he usually did, he grabbed one of the bathrobes hanging in the bathroom as shivers racked his body. His food felt mediocre at best, giving him a sense of chewing rubber and not a meal served at a 5-star hotel. As much as he tried to convince himself otherwise, he was miserable. Disappointed there was no laughter to fill the silence that weighted him down as the hours dragged by slower than usual. Annoyed that Sabrina wasn't there and he was stuck replaying their previous conversations in his head. The fuck is wrong with me? He couldn't figure out why he couldn't stop thinking about the slice of chocolate pie they would have been sharing had Oliver not been at lunch. I miss her? Is that it? That was what he mulled over as he walked to his bed and lay down on his back, enveloped by the soft robe. "At least there's no bats flying around.", he muttered out loud, staring at the white ceiling above him, "It could be far worse." Minutes later, he began regretting his words after getting his first clue in how thin the walls between rooms must have been. It all had started innocently enough, with a female's muffled moan that had made him raise an eyebrow.

"More. Yes. YES.", the sound of the headboard banging against the wall carried over as the woman continued switching between languages and shouting out orders at her bed partner. John had lost count how many times she had praised the man's cock in size, he was questioning if she had ever seen a ruler in her life. If she could even begin to realize how ridiculous her comparisons sounded in reality. If I hear another outrageous metaphor, I swear to God- The woman switched to French again, her voice raising even more, joined by the man's grunts. "I hope you've left your window open, and a bat chooses to visit you, too.", John gritted out as he picked up the hotel phone and dialed reception. "Yes, Mr. Duncan?", a female's voice sounded on the other line. "I'm calling to raise a noise complaint. A couple in room 310 have been causing continuous disturbance." "I'm so sorry to hear that. I will call their room, and sort it out immediately." "Thank you." True to her words, he could guess the exact moment the call was made because all of the noises stopped suddenly. "Sweet silence. Thank God.", John muttered with a satisfied grin, and closed his eyes as he snuggled into his pillow. Yet the peace didn't last long, with the two next door slipping back into their previous activities despite the warning from the front desk. "For heaven's sake.", he shouted and it somehow wasn't loud enough to match the woman's screeches that sounded more like a wounded animal, than somebody enjoying themselves.

As more muffled profanities left her mouth, he reached for the receiver again and dialed reception again. "Yes, Mr. Duncan?" "The issue hasn't been resolved.", he said darkly. "I was assured they would keep it down, sir. I'm not at liberty to do anything aside from calling again." "Call the police for all I care. Just shut them up." "Sir,", the woman sighed, "The window for noise disturbances is from 10 pm to 7 am, I'm afraid-" "Remind me again how many stars does your hotel have?", he interrupted the poor excuse. "I will place another call."

After multiple calls later and the wretched noises persisting, John began to wonder if this was a new form of torture Portland had selected for him. Karma. He almost wished he was back in the diner and forced to listen to random stories from Oliver. Where some would most likely find enjoyment in overhearing a couple in the heat of the moment, he could safely say the prolonged show they were giving the hotel wasn't doing anything for him aside from reminding him he didn't have anyone in his bed, that the only thing keeping him company were his fantasies of her. Then as the sky had already darkened and he was considering throwing on some clothes and just leaving the hotel altogether before he would do anything drastic with his anger raising anytime the headboard would slam on the other side of his wall, his phone rang. He accepted the call, doubting Sabrina's voice would cancel the couple's latest role-playing round. "Hey.", she wore a content smile, her overall demeanor the opposite of what he was feeling at that moment. "Hey.", he forced himself to return her grin, but guessed it hadn't worked if he was to judge by the frown she gave him. "What's wrong?" "This,", he said as he rose up in bed and brought the phone closer to the adjoining wall between the two rooms. "Is that-", she paused, blinking quickly at the array of noises that carried over.

"Yes. They're, excuse my French,", he let out a humorless chuckle at the accidental pun, "fucking. Have been for hours, Detective." Sabrina winced visibly and bit her lip, "And the hotel isn't doing anything?" "I called reception to deal with them multiple times, it's like they're taking my complaints as encouragement." "Jesus." "She's been trying to summon him for a while now." A laugh broke free before she quickly said, "I'm sorry." "Don't be… I can imagine how amusing it could be from an outsider perspective. Me on the other hand… I'm contemplating spending my night in the bathroom." He rubbed at his eye, feeling a headache forming, "I'm close to just going out, and I have no idea where I would even go." "John." "Yeah?" She looked torn, almost like she was unsure if she should voice whatever was on her mind. "Now you're worrying me.", he remarked at her furrowed eyebrows. "I'm thinking." He cracked a small smile, "I see that." The woman in 310 began chanting, making him squeeze his eyes shut as he told reminded himself he needed to remain calm. Monday can't come quickly enough. What I wouldn't do for the universe to stop hating me and grant me a plane ticket before Friday. "Have to say, I'm jealous - I certainly can't hear my own thoughts.", he uttered out, raking a hand through his hair. "John.", she repeated his name, making him crack his eyes open at the shift in her tone.

"What is it?" "Did you have dinner yet?", her question took him aback considering the more pressing issue he was faced with. "No.", he lied with ease, gaze darting to his half-finished plate, to his meal that had no doubt turned cold after being becoming long forgotten thanks to his lack of appetite paired with the neighbors' antics. She nodded but didn't elaborate further. "Why did you ask?", he pushed for an answer, his curiosity fully awaken. "It's probably a weird thing to suggest after we just had lunch." Now you have my full attention. "Weirder than her,", he titled his head at the wall behind him, "comparing her lover's moves to a sledge hammer? Both in English, and French?" A hand covered her mouth as she tried to stop a giggle from emerging. "It's okay to laugh, you know. At least something comes out of my misery then." "You could always march over there and threaten to sue them for harassment… Your poor ears would thank you." "Don't tempt me. Because we might end up with a different situation on our hands." She raised an eyebrow, "Them asking you to join?", all he could do was blink as she laughed quietly, "Kidding. Oliver isn't rubbing off on me, I promise." Chances are things would be getting physical in a different way. "Frankly, I won't be shocked.", he leaned his head on his head, willing for the throbbing at his temples to reside, "Back to the subject at hand - what were you going to suggest?"

Her eyes darted away from his as she looked down, her unease on full display, "Forget I said anything, it's stupid." "Impossible.", he retorted, "I highly doubt whatever it is is more embarrassing than me hiding away from a bat and calling you in the middle of the night. So, try me." Her cheeky smile made a return, "You forgot the naked part." "Trust me, I haven't forgotten. And I'm listening, as much as I can, really." The woman in the other room was back to shouting profanities in French, making him sigh in defeat. "I-", Sabrina cleared her throat, getting a couple of words out before she could change her mind, "I have some leftovers from dinner and since you haven't eaten yet…" Leftovers? His lips quirked up, "Are you asking me to come over?", the unintended innuendo behind his question caused her to frown, so he rushed to add, "I know you don't mean it that way." He was back to gesturing at the wall separating him from all the action happening next door. Her face relaxed at his words, "I am. Yes. But if you think it's too weird…" "Sabrina?" "Yeah?" "Offering to spare me having to listen to them fornicate,", he couldn't help his snarl as the man moved into grunting out lines from his usual repertoire, "isn't weird. I'd call it generous as hell." He was fully preparing himself to slip into an argument how he hated ear plugs, before moving onto invalidating any other simpler solution that stood between him and seeing her again, when she nodded, "Should I text you the address?" The second she asked that, his heart began to thump almost as loud as the couple's bed, causing him to rub his chest through the robe as he mumbled a quiet, "Yes." "Okay." He matched her smile, "See you in a few, then."

Tagging, @josephseedismyfather @adelaidedrubman @poisonedtruth @theelderhazelnut @madparadoxum @cassietrn @corvosattano @florbelles @josephslittledeputy @trench-rot @g0dspeeed @aceghosts @direwombat @strangefable @dumbassdep @euryalex @purplehairsecretlair @voidika @simplegenius042 @thesingularityseries @the-silver-chronicles @nightbloodbix @clicheantagonist @harmonyowl @wrathfulrook @jillvalentinesday and anyone that would like to share something <3

[aristocratic-otter]

Does it count if I started this post before midnight?

Thank you to @facewithoutheart, @ionlydrinkhotwater, @bookish-bogwitch, @cutestkilla, @artsyunderstudy, @krisrix, @erzbethluna, @palimpsessed, @confused-bi-queer, and @you-remind-me-of-the-babe for the tags. I'm blowing you kisses from my corner of the states!

Snippets under the cut for lenghth

From next year's COTTA, an early eighties AU:

The minute you step in the door, your eyes are assaulted. Most music producers would have gleaming hardwood and neatly arranged golden records on their walls. Not my aunt. Fiona has a yellowing bug-eaten collage of thousands of newspaper and magazine articles papering the walls. They’re reviews, all of them. Good, bad, indifferent, if they mention Pitch music, Fiona puts them up. Then, if she disagrees with or dislikes the tone of an article, she pulls out her handy black felt tip and scribbles expletives and insults all over the paper. So the first impression you get of Fiona is of a mad woman scribbling on the walls of her asylum.

From Playing With Fire, Treading Thin Ice

Simon

Baz’s best friend is smaller than I expected. I think, from the way he’s built her up in my imagination, I expected to be eye to eye with her. 

Actually, she’s at least four or five inches shorter than me. But that doesn’t mean she’s not intimidating. 

Fuck, she is so intimidating. 

The first words out of her mouth when we take seats across from her at Costa are, “So. This is him, then?” She's looking at me, but speaking to Baz. Her cool gaze makes it clear that she isn't interested in speaking to me. 

Fuck. Somehow I’ve messed this up before I’ve even said hello.

From my Unnamed Lady Ruth Zine Fic:

It was Simon’s idea that the school should be open to all magickal creatures. After all, he pointed out, if it was going to accept our children, part dragon as they were, it would hardly make sense to deny pixie and goblin and troll children. 

Hence my problem with Mrs. Dalrimple. 

She’s a brownie. A kitchen sprite. Which means she is naturally better than me at absolutely everything involving home care. And it stings when all the parents are socializing and she looks down her nose at me (which is quite a trick, since she’s two feet tall) because I let Violet wear her favorite tutu to school again or because Ebb’s school lunch is always peanut butter sandwiches (what? That’s all she’ll eat! I’d rather she be malnourished than not nourished at all) (besides, peanut butter is really quite nutritious if you overlook the high sugar content).

Simon knows about and is amused by my unspoken rivalry with the PTA chair, so all he does is smirk and shake his head.

From: Raising Dragons

Shepard

“Wow, Penelope, I’m honoured! They really asked you to ask me for advice on Valentine’s day?”

“I—er…well, not in so many words,” she says reluctantly. “But they did come here for help. And  you do live here, so you’d be included in the people available to help, right?” She looks at me hopefully. 

I smother my laughter. Penelope Bunce does not appreciate being laughed at. Which is a real shame, because she’s so much fun to laugh at. But I love her, and, more importantly, I live with her, so it behoves me to keep her happy. Or at least keep her less homicidal. 

So Simon needs help showing Baz a little romance, hmm? That shouldn’t surprise me—the man has far more rough edges than smooth ones. But somehow, it does. Surprise me, I mean. Simon Snow has, since he first broke an antique chair and threatened to impale the vampire king with its leg, has done nothing but impress me with the depth of his devotion to Baz. And nothing is more romantically intoxicating than giving someone your complete attention. 

Tagging all of those above for Sunday, and @annabellelux, @carryonsimoncarryonbaz, @fight-surrender, @foolofabookwyrm-activated, @fatalfangirl, @giishu, @ileadacharmedlife, @ivelovedhimthroughworse, @frjsti, @larkral, @prettylightsbigcity, @raenestee, @tea-brigade, @whogaveyoupermission, @whatevertheweather, @yeonjunenby, @yellobb-old

[monmuses]

demondads asked: ♪♪♪♪♪ ((go nuts fam!!!)) ; For every ♪ in my inbox I'll post a song I listen to for character inspiration.

I wanna taste love and pain Wanna feel pride and shame I don't wanna take my time Don't wanna waste one line I wanna live better days Never look back and say It could have been me It could have been me, yeah!

I FUCKING LOVE THIS SONG! first hearing it with watching it for movie night, i became so attached to it for Braelynn because she wants to feel what life is like! she wants to feel every emotion and what it's like to succeed and fail. and i also want to link the scene of the movie here because it serves as importance for her story in her AU of S2 TWAU. she's a performer and sharing her feelings of what life was like is so important to her and showing that she won't ever be held down just being herself.

Exorcists can't save me now I swear to you that I'm fine Please let me die to be found He speaks for me, nerves that I grind Speaking louder in my own voice Blocked by the voice of a demon inside I act coy and I play nice Only to die on the inside

this song is... really heavy. so, regarding Harriet & Elizabeth, this song paints a serious situation in which where they were in an abusive relationship with a man in their years of college. however, this also applies to her relationship to her family; specifically her step-father. she is constantly controlled, held down, and unable to speak. they both are victims of abuse in the most horrific of ways, and Elizabeth was how they broke out.

i also find this song very important because the overlaying of both parts fit how they both speak during the song - they have voices and their own thoughts that overlay with one another. this is what i consider their Jekyll & Hyde song, and it's their attempted cries of needing an escape.

Why don't you get it? Can't you get it? Understand They're gonna execute the mother to elevate the man They're gonna propagate the killer, eliminate the youth They're gonna blind date everyone until you love them too They're gonna blind date everyone until you love them too They're gonna blind date everyone until you love them too They're gonna blind date everyone until you love them

Fran's story is also full of trauma and the sense of isolation from her own community & town. a lot of her story is based on how much the South Park kids treated her during the first AND second game - constantly speaking for her, the anger, the fighting, unable to speak for herself, family trauma; having no identity. her story is full of anger and it's what makes her so dangerous and monstrous. she doesn't know this yet, but it will end up becoming truth later on in her life. this song perfectly describes how angry she is towards her own friends and how they don't know anything but she does.

Watch out, don't look She's your nightmare of a dream Go home, run fast If you don't, she'll eat your heart out of your chest Got your insides on her dress Blood's her favorite shade of red Say your prayers and go to bed

i love this song and for two reasons; it tells a story and it describes Yuri in Act 2-3. she becomes so obsessed and almost demonic in a way with how she shares her love and obsession towards the Player and how attached she gets. in truth, she is much like this with those she loves, and becomes attached in a very close way. however, the mutilating ways in how she shares that love are to a minimum and almost never shown unless the other doesn't reciprocate those feelings.

she would kill for her lovers, and will kill, but in a very fucked up and defacing way where she loses her own identity and only finds solace in her partners.

[erigold13261]

Hi Eri! Here is another song ask! Pls take your time and ignore this one if it’s upsetting. Nothing's Working Out (English Cover)【Will Stetson】for the FRAU.

How everyone is slowing breaking down post revolution fits the vibe of this song.

Tw for suicide idealization

Although this song has the lyrics “Wanna die,” the OG song does not have this.

It definitely gives off “I am so done with everything” energy for sure.

(Welp I definitely took my time with getting to this lol, it's been months with this sitting in my inbox which is a shame because that song is really good!)

Though I usually like listening to Vocaloid English covers, I actually prefer the OG version, at least the lyric video made by Kei Takahashi. I think that one fits the FRAU characters even more than the English cover you recommended (at least overall, if you select a few characters from FRAU the cover fits more).

Like, for both Neon J's, OG and FRAU, the line "It's a war in my head, though I stand tall" and "Trembling with fear, though I act tough" are both things that they do, just in absolutely different ways. OG acts tough in a way that he is strong FOR those around him while FRAU acts tough AGAINST those around him.

Both of them have their own wars in their head and their own fears. Some more active than others, and are trying to work through it. The main difference is that FRAU Neon's way of working through it is not working out.

The lines "Love me. Love me" and "'This is a mess lol' 'We've heard this before"" are definitely more close to Yinu and Eve. At least when you put those two lines together (which this song does).

It just makes me think of how Eve and Zuke, and Mama and Yinu keep playing a ring-around-the-rosie game. Eve and Yinu can see there is a fucking mess here but they just want to be loved.

Eve has probably tried to reach out to Zuke after Blue hurt him, but she got the same answer (Zuke running away from her). She has played this song and dance before with him and it's just a huge mess.

Yinu on the other hand sees her own family problems and tries to voice them at times but keeps getting dismissed by Mama thinking everything is okay and Yinu is worrying about nothing. Yinu wants to be loved and heard, but all she is hearing is the same thing from her mother over and over (though this is because Yinu isn't communicating as well as she needs for her mother to understand, but that is not Yinu's fault as she is still the child in this situation).

I also like the lines "In a field of inspiration and homages, // Am I supposed to search for originality or something?" It makes me think of Kul Fyra/Tatiana. Possibly also putting in the partial line "We've heard this before" into the mix to show that Tatiana is trying to look for a new way of thinking, but I can see her need for order being the same thing that broke up the Goolings years ago (in this AU it wasn't because she was too lax, but too strict, at least that's what I feel now, don't know if I had said otherwise before)

She isn't doing something new. She's doing the same thing she did before and hoping for a different outcome to happen. When it "did" have a different outcome, she was happy. However, the same thing is going to happen (an implosion), it's just taking it's sweet time to happen at NSR compared to the Goolings quick end.

If we go to the lines "This kid that's younger than me is getting popular. Ridiculous, right?" I can see that being for EVERY member of the Megastars (not counting necropolis or ex-Megastar DJSS).

Neon J is a bit bitter he was never able to make it himself when he tried earlier in life. He's probably the least bitter because he also just loves kids and is happy to see them becoming stars at such a young age (but also like, he is not happy how young they are because kids should still be kids).

Eve is absolutely not okay with seeing her younger half brother and someone like Yinu so high up in a field she had to claw her way into. I can see her believing Yinu is just born lucky and the Sayu Crew are just piggybacking off of her success and relationship to Remi (that might also be why she is so mean to Remi. She doesn't realize why she is so nasty to him so she picks apart something that will absolutely hurt him, which is his transness).

The Crew themselves are basically bullies in their own way (hurt people hurt people, am I right?) and choose Yinu as a target because she is so young and talented. Eve's belief that Yinu is just born lucky is something the Crew probably picked up on and let her know of it in a less than subtle way.

Yinu is just trying to play music (music she doesn't want to play anymore) while being an object of envy and hate by the older people in her life thanks to their jealousy. Thankfully though, it isn't as bad as it could be because Mama is there most of the time (meaning Yinu either has to deal with an over protective mother or backhanded compliments and insults).

The only solace really is 1010 for Yinu, who don't care about her age because they were literally BUILT with musical skill and a cop-out way to easily sync up dances. If anyone were "born" lucky, it was 1010 who barely have to actually practice compared to Yinu.

Like all of this is here and I haven't even gone deep into 1010 themselves yet! Each one having their own damn problems with "solutions" that aren't working out for them.

Specifically the "Love me. Love me" and 'This is a mess lol' 'We've heard this before"" lines are also something that can fit 1010. As they all literally just want to be loved by Neon J (a feeling he is actively withholding from them because he doesn't want to see them as his kids even though he subconsciously already does).

None of 1010 even give a shit about the "love" from fans anymore because it barely charges them up due to the constant hate and negative emotions that they live with. Each one just becoming an isolated mess directing their hate at each other (and specifically Blue) all because they are stuck in a situation they can't legally leave.

Another line that I like is "I won't go back even if I hate it, over time I realized I'd assimilated" which makes me think of Tatiana and Neon J a lot. Like they tried to get away from shitty situations, but instead of actually leaving they became what they were running from (abusive assholes hell bent on controlling the people around them).

Like Tatiana is basically becoming her dad in this AU (or maybe she already is), while Neon J (though his family turned out better in this AU) is basically becoming/became what he feared his parents would be like to him before he came out.

The two assimilated into a culture of hate and hurt, and because of that they brought it into everyone else's lives around them. Thankfully Neon is actively trying to get out of it (but still doing a LOT of damage in the process). Tatiana on the other hand just dug her heels even deeper into the dirt to stand her ground, because to her there's nothing worse than being proven wrong.

There's also the kinda slower middle part of the song that I like a lot. Specifically the lines "Compromise just like that, frustration at full blast" and "Break up the party and act innocent, lol."

Those two lines are really good to me. The compromise one makes me think mainly of Yinu and how she is doing everything for her mother out of love. To her it's a compromise and not self destruction. Similar thing with Neon, he is compromising on his beliefs to try and get enough leeway to get 1010 out of NSR.

Like these two are not ACTUALLY compromising because they are giving things up without getting anything in return (but they think they are compromising), which is where all of the built up frustration is coming from.

The break up the party line (and even the "Dance, dance, dance, dance" part that goes along with it), just makes me think of NSR as a whole. They are putting up a show for the public, but behind the scenes they are fighting and hating each other. If at anytime a "party" breaks loose and fans start to see through the cracks, the artists have to back down and pretend to play innocent. Pretend nothing is wrong. Show that the failed revolution didn't actually affect them at all (when it absolutely has).

And finally, the part repeated so often. "Nothing's working out" goes to everyone as well. Each person in NSR (and outside of it) are literally just trying to move on with life in some way or fashion (even if it's a self destructive or hateful move) but nothing is actually working out because there is just too much toxicity.

Even for those who want to leave (or have left in B2J and DJSS' cases), nothing is really working out for them because of the long lasting effects that toxicity has done to them. Nothing in life is really working out at all. It sucks. Sometimes even starting totally fresh is not enough if you can't somehow mend the damages that happened.

Very few of the characters actually want to die, so that's why I prefer the sub version of the OG song than the cover. For those who do want to die, like truly die, I think it would just be Green. Like even Tila and Yinu have some kind of hope for the future, but Green is the only one who is truly ready to just give up (he probably doesn't even know why he is still trying at this point, just routine I guess).

Though is things continue to spiral down like they are, without something breaking the cycle (either another revolution, 1010 getting out, or something like that) then Tila and Yinu, possibly others, are going to want to truly die as well.

[punkrockgirlalmighty]

5, 6, 11 for the fanfic asks

5. Which WIP is first on your list to complete this year? Will you post a snippet?

I really want to get part 2 of Square One finished ASAP ... it has been hanging over my head for so long that it is becoming a block aha

there's a snippet below the cut ;)

6. Which yet-to-be-started fic is first on your list?

ahh so many... but the one I am most excited for is a turn of the century style, forbidden love au - mainly because I have the last line in my head and it's a fucking banger!

11. Would you like to try any new fanfic genres or tropes this year?

i'd like to get more comfortable writing smut definitely and I would love to be able to write something genuinely fluffy with no angst...

but I also love reading angst and sometimes I think this fandom is too good to the boys or wary of keeping them apart.

My favourite trope is one person fucking up and the other forgiving them and I will continue to write that over and over I'm sure aha

“Have you been with anyone else? You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want but… there hasn’t been for me. I mean not since…” he winced.

Carlos’ shoulders tensed up as he thought back to his ill-intentioned hook ups. For the briefest of moments he thought about lying, whether to protect TK or because of his own shame he wasn’t sure but either way he knew he owed them both honesty. “There was a few guys. Right after we broke up, but no one that meant anything.”

TK let out a deep exhale and he felt him shuffle down the bed until he was sat next to him. “OK.”

But TK didn’t look like he thought it was ok, he looked upset.

“You can tell me what you really feel you know? Even if it’s bad,” Carlos said softly.

TK’s eyes searched his and Carlos watched as unease turned to hesitation and then finally with a shake of his head he relented. “OK I hate it. I know I have no right and it’s hugely hypocritical of me but the thought of you with someone else… hurts.”

“I only did it to get back at you… I thought it might make me feel better but to be honest it just made me feel empty.” TK was keeping his expression carefully neutral but he was gripping the comforter, his fingers twisting and untwisting the fabric. “I’m not proud of it, but I won’t apologize for it either.”

Carlos closed his eyes and bit back the desire to say sorry for not saying sorry.

“Hey, Carlos please look at me?” TK urged him gently after a few moments. He opened his eyes and was surprised to see TK smiling at him. “I will never ask you to apologize for anything that happened while we were broken up. You did what you needed to do, and you don’t need my permission or forgiveness to not feel bad about it, ok?”

He felt a little stunned, it was not the reaction he was expecting. Not from TK.

“You’re not the only one who has changed Carlos,” TK said, like he knew exactly what Carlos was thinking. “I know it will take time for me to prove it and I need to earn your trust again. We can take this as slow as you need.”

“I know you’ve changed,” Carlos said and it was true; he had already seen plenty of proof of that. “But you are right, trusting you again…it’s not easy.”

He hated admitting it.

Being angry had been easy; TK hurt him and it felt simple to resent him for that. Forgetting him had been impossible so he hadn’t even tried. When they were just friends he gave himself a strict set of rules to follow that made it manageable.

But this? This scared him. He was stuck out on a tight rope; he could still go solo back to his comfortable life, or he could move towards a future with TK but regardless of what option he picked now he risked losing his balance and plummeting. Rock bottom.

TK was looking at him, half hopeful and half resigned, and Carlos experienced that same magnetic pull he had felt before in his presence. He picked up one of TK’s hands and clasped it between both of his own. The feel of TK’s fingers squeezing back sent a wave of calm through him and it was suddenly easier to breathe.

“I can’t promise anything,” Carlos said, “but I can tell you that I want this. I want you.”

 Yes, it was messy and complicated and confusing but, if the way every cell in his body seemed to rejoice when TK’s face split into a bright smile was any indication, it was also worth it.

“You want me,” TK said, “and you don’t deny yourself the things you want anymore.”

Carlos grinned back at him, “Exactly.”

[sanjoongie]

Hate Sex

ღPairing: Seonghwa x Reader (f)

ღGenre: loosely inspired by Euphoria au, enemies to lovers au

ღWord Count: 2,283

ღWarnings: hate sex, degradation kink, dom!hwa, sub!reader, dirty talk, spit kink

ღRated: 18+ mdni, smut with no plot

ღSummary: You break up with San and somehow end up in Seonghwa’s bed

ღDedication: @mejuii​ @downtoamagicalland​ i’m only posting this because you both peed yourselves when you read this, so I knew it was good 🥲

The pit of guilt in your stomach can't even begin to match the puddle of lust between your legs. You groan his name because he is making you feel so damn good but you know as soon as it's over, the shame will creep up on you.

He pants as he fucks into you, sweat making his hair cling to his skin. Seonghwa knows he's being selfish, showing up at your door after working out. He knows that when he flashes a smile, eyes teasing and tongue between his lips, that you'll never say no to him. He knows it's not fair, especially when you hate his guts and you just broke up with his best friend. But that doesn't stop him.

He likes the way your nails dig into his biceps as he holds himself aloft above you. He likes the way your hips cant upwards, desperate for more of the feeling he's giving you. He loves the fact that you know you shouldn't be doing this but you do it anyway, just because in the moment, it feels good.

That's when his mouth starts running and adds spice to what is already taboo.

"I fuck you better than he did, don't I?" Seonghwa starts, selfishness in overdrive. "I know your body better than he ever did. He didn't like to hurt you, he didn't like to manhandled you, but you'll take everything from me, won't you?"

You moan as his words only add fuel to your hatred for him but also makes you even more wet than you already are. "Fuck off," you curse weakly.

His hand wraps around your jaw, prying it open. "Open your mouth."

You whimper and do as he asks, wincing as he dribbles spit into your open mouth. "Swallow it."

Shame follows the spit as you take everything he deigns to give you into your body. His hips haven't let up, still pushing against yours, still driving you towards an orgasm you'd rather not see. Because then once again he's made you see stars and the black stain that is your weakness.

"Say you love it. Say you fucking love when I spit in your mouth." Seonghwa growls. His cock is practically twitching inside of you at the sight of you doing exactly what he wants. Seonghwa wants nothing more than to fuck you again and again. And since he can't have you the way that he wants, then he'll have you the way that you want it: dirty, taboo and mean. Because the minute he'd open his heart to you is the minute you'd rip your own right out of your chest, if only to deny him the satisfaction of getting what he wants.

You tilt your chin up stubbornly. "Your dick is so fucking pathetic. You can barely manage to fuck me well. You've always liked the idea of sloppy seconds, haven't you, Hwa? Like the idea of sneaking into my bed after he's had me and fuck your pathetic dick into me after I'm full of his cum. You're so fucking disgusting, I hate you so much."

That's enough fuel to both of your fires. If Seonghwa is being honest, all he's ever wanted was to hold you and make you feel better. You were never right for San. You didn't need skin against skin like he did. You didn't want to be outside and around people. But that didn't stop from the two of you loving each other with an intensity that made the whole school fall in love with you. It didn't stop Seonghwa from hating every fucking moment of it. Until you two broke up.

It's not right for the best friend to fuck the freshly broken up girlfriend, it was against some kind of friendship code that no one ever spoke. But when Seonghwa cornered you one day, convinced that if you only talked about it out loud, that you'd realize the same thing he did, there was nothing that could stop him from getting what he wanted.

"You don't understand!" You screamed at him.

"I don't understand?" Seonghwa laughed mirthlessly. His hand somehow found your throat, stroking the skin there that was hot because of your anger. Your heartbeat was going crazy. "I understand better than you'll ever know."

"You're just a second rate asshat who thinks he knows what's good for me," You spit in his face. "You think I'm just this broken good girl who needs a Daddy, hmmmm?" You get up in his face, grinning menacingly. You mock pout, "Please Daddy show me what I deserve. Spank me, I've been bad."

"You're despicable, you know that?" Seonghwa sneered down at you, "How the fuck you even managed to hold down San as long as you did is beyond me."

You feel pain from that sentence even though you don't even know why. Who was Seonghwa to say that to you? Even when it felt like the truth was driven in like a dagger. "Then why are you here since I'm so fucking despicable, huh?"

Seonghwa’s eyes widen in surprise for a brief moment and you're both caught in an angry lie. Seonghwa trying to cover up his feelings for you and you trying to cover up your hurt from San. Then his demeanor changes. "You're so fucking despicable," Seonghwa repeats in a hushed tone that is usually reserved for love confessions and he supposed, this kinda is.

You laugh, part in derision and part in nervousness. "But?"

Seonghwa’s nose glides along your cheekbone. "That's it. You're fucking despicable." 

You're trembling and Seonghwa knows you're a tiny push away from caving. He knows that if he steps back right now, the two of you can pretend this never happened, or in the very least, laugh at the moment of 'remember when we almost kissed'. But Seonghwa doesn't want that.

"You're so despicable that all you deserve is a dick in your mouth." It's out of his mouth before he can take it back and he almost thinks he's gone too far because you don't snap back at him immediately.

Then you get to your knees and you're looking at him, vulnerability oozing from your eyes. You bit down on your lip, and in some fucked up way, Seonghwa is giving you exactly what you want. You want to feel loved, the way San made you feel. The way Seonghwa cups your cheek and thumb glides over your bottom lip, you feel like you could be everything for him, even though that's the last thing you want to be, especially for him. Every time you have to see him, it just makes you think of San and your heart breaks again. But you're also tired of feeling like that.

"Then fuck the despicable out of me," You respond in turn and everything is out the window after that.

His arms wrap around your upper arms and brings you back up. He doesn't want to fuck your mouth, he wants to fuck you. He doesn't want to use you, he wants to make you feel better. But there's self-loathing all around you and you don't want nice, you want mean. So he gives you what you want even though that's not what he wants. But if he gives you what you want then at least he'll get something. It's a piece of you, even though it's a fucked up piece of you.

So Seonghwa fucks you against the wall like his very life depends on giving you an orgasm, and maybe it does. You wrap your body around him like he could give you everything you need. You gasp in his ear and clench around him and Seonghwa is in fucking heaven. You whimper as he gives you a particular hard thrust. 

"You like that?" Seonghwa grabs two handfuls of your ass, digging into the flesh there.

"Right there," You moan and for two fucking seconds you can forget who is really between your legs.

Seonghwa can't though. Seonghwa is intoxicated by the way you're responding to him. The harsher he is, the more you sound like everything is amazing. He pulls your hair, he pushes his fingers into your mouth, he bites your nipples, everything elicits a good response from you. It's like he can do no wrong and for once, he feels good about being bad.

"Gonna cum, gonna cum," You whine into his neck.

"Already?" Like Seonghwa had any leg to stand on, he was going to cum too because you were so fucking wet and tight for him but he didn't want to ruin the moment. So he said, "Gonna cum on my dick already?"

"So good," You whimper and you were being 1000% honest at that moment. 

"Come on baby girl, come for me." Seonghwa winces because even that sounded corny to him but you were so far gone that it didn't matter.

You cried out as you came hard, Seonghwa stroking deep inside of you. You don't cry out his name, which he fucking hates but he's too busy chasing his own high soon after.

After it's all said and done, and Seonghwa pulls out, the shame seeps in. You just fucked Seonghwa. Someone you despised just by looking at. He opened his mouth and you hated him even more at that moment. "Are you okay?"

You wipe the tears at the corner of your eyes and sniff back the snot. "I'm fine."

"Can I… drive you somewhere?" Seonghwa asks, eyes timid now and you hate his pity.

You pull down your skirt. "Fuck off, Seonghwa. You think because you fucked me that suddenly you can take care of me?"

Seonghwa rubs a hand over his face. "I don't think I can take care of you, I just did."

"Like one orgasm is going to fix me," You roll your eyes.

Nothing happens for weeks. You fucked once, it was stupid, and that was that.

Except both of you couldn't stop thinking about how goddamn good it is and how honest it was, in that moment. You just wanted to forget and he just wanted you.

So when he sent you text message three weeks after the first fuck, you were both surprised and not surprised. He looked good in the picture. He looked confident. Seonghwa was anything but. He was terrified that you would laugh at him or worse, ignore him. 

But you didn't.

What do you want? You text him, hoping that he would drop it all. Also hoping he'd push for more because you were so fucking lonely and so fucking horny at the same time and it hurt.

Want to fuck you into next week with my hand around your throat. Seonghwa would rather kiss your temple and tell you you're beautiful but he knows that would only tempt you to push him away and he's not willing to risk that.

Promise to hurt me? You find yourself texting before you can stop yourself.

Luckily, it doesn't matter and it becomes a thing.

Baby Girl, I'll do whatever you want. Which was perfectly true but also maybe a little too on the dot. But he can't take it back now.

Fast forward to right now, back where you're on your couch and he's fucking you like he fucked you the first time, but better. "You fucking hate me so much and yet you're still whining with my dick inside of you," Seonghwa spits back.

"Just make me come already," You say through gritted teeth.

"Make you come?" Seonghwa growls and snaps harder into you. "Make you come?" He demands a second time.

Seonghwa pulls you up and pushes your back against the back of the couch instead of the bottom. He spreads your legs as far as they can go and his eyes rake up and down your body. "I should leave you like this."

You feel panic flutter against your chest. You swallow and your mouth feels dry. "Seonghwa."

Seonghwa cocks his head, "Yeah?"

"Don't," you whisper, terrified he would actually leave you.

"Don't what?" Seonghwa pushes. 

"Don't do this," You beg.

"Say what you mean," Seonghwa insists. He's got no idea where this backbone came from, but just once, he wants to hear the truth. Not the pretend truth, but the real one.

"Need you to fuck the pain away," You say.

Seonghwa shakes his head, his eyes dark and solid and unrelenting. "Say what this is."

You pout, a real one that comes before you cry. "Don't."

"Say it or I walk out of here and never fuck you again."

Your breath comes out of your mouth in uneven trembles but you know he's serious. And you can't get cut off from the best drug you've had in months. So your whore mouth says exactly what you've been dreading.

"I need you, Seonghwa."

Seonghwa closes his eyes and lets out a shaky breath and smiles. "Thank you."

But instead of fucking you, he sinks to his knees, pulls your bottom to the edge of the couch and dives his face into your cunt. He makes out with your lower half and you don't know what to do. He's never been like this and you never asked him. You two were just supposed to be fucking but this was…

There was no dirty talk, no trying to piss each other off, just him giving and you receiving. Seonghwa doesn't even look up at you, not because he doesn't want to but because his dick was just inside of you and if he does, he might slip back into how he was before. He just wants to make you feel good. And for once, you're letting him.

[polafairy]

SAKUATSU (and other rarepair ships) FIC MASTERLIST!

saw someone do this and i just had to give my 2 cents because i have way too much love for these! some of these recs are no stranger to sexual intimacy for a heads up! One thing guaranteed is that all of these are completed, and HEA despite the angst that may come through :)

SAKUATSU

1. smoke and mirrors

ohmygod. i read this in the plane to new york and MY was i seated reading this whole thing. this sneaky little fic gave me all the domesticity & fluff my heart couldn't handle but alas, as most fake relationship aus do, it also fucking broke me BUT picked the pieces back up very nicely. 10/10.

(msby jackals, r-rated, CUTE)

2. the affective presence of our black and white reruns

lord have merthy. literally pining at its best!! they are both idiots and bad at feelings but good at.. very good at /it/. also you should keep in mind that this fic is inspired by paramore's all i wanted was you and let me tell you nothing bad ever comes out of being inspired by paramore. ever. skts from u-18 camp up until msby jackals.

3. bound

AHHHHH. LITERALLY the crème de la crème of slow burn. Actors au? Check. Killer banter? Check. Gratifying cast of characters? CHECK. ao3 user internetpistol is VITAL to the sakuatsu fanfiction circle, all her works are must-reads! very r-rated. as in this is equal amounts porn and feelings.

4. hand study

THIS IS CRACK. If you need to believe in love again this is literally all you need. It also breaks you for extra measure on the realness. This is also Atsumu with hand fetish reserved only for Kiyoomi but accidently injures it during practice so now he decides to take care of Kiyoomi in his apartment where they do sexy domestic couple shit and slowly fall in love and fuck it up but resolve it again. The perfect ingredients list as u can tell.

(MSBY jackals, fluff, r-rated)

5. play among the stars

I usually take a hard pass on sci-fi material BUT HELLO??? SEXY BODYGUARD KIYOOMI AND SEXY CRIMINAL ATSUMU STUCK ON THE MOON FOR 2 MONTHS?? What insane person would pass on that. Also very easy to pick up on despite its content surrounding on space. r-rated.

6. again, until it's perfect

this is utter perfection. I have so much love for skts stupidity and top tier banter and this is just all of that but also gives satisfaction to the heart.

(easy one-sitting read, msby teammates skts, fluff)

7. three sheets to the wind

this is literature. like miss ao3 user fairycake can write romeo and juliet but shakespear will never be able to write three sheets to the wind by ao3 user fairycake. lil bit r-rated

(pirate au, heaven sent, witty as hell, impressive humor)

RAREPAIRS

1. persephone by batman

kageyama/tsukishima. arranged marriage. strangers to lovers. lyrical writing it almost ALMOST puts t swift to shame. feelings dripped in gold.

2. venus planet of love by fatal

kageyama/kunimi. again with the lyrical writing this is literally the integration of love and poetry.

3. hunger by iphido

akaashi/osamu. even more beautiful writing. 2 souls trying to pick up the pieces of their hearts together i love them.

4. questionnaire by iphido

kageyama/oikawa. poetry through an interview and it's very short but just very sweet.

5. the contest between by batman

akaashi/osamu. this fic has my soul in shambles. it has so much care, research, and love for food and feelings. the chef miya osamu (side dilf) agenda is also just excellently done. yearning seeps through every word and i just love this so much please give it a chance.