#fucking HUSBANDS

[the-wandering-st4r]

Kremy, singing “Part of Your World”:

“Wouldn’t you think I’m a gator who has…”

“And I’ll look at the train, I guess I look at Gid…”

“…everything?”

OH. OK. WE’RE DOING THIS NOW. THAT’S FINE. DEFINITELY NORMAL ABOUT THAT.

[ice-dragon-waifu]

[river--ghost]

work all night on a drink of rum

daylight come and me wan go home

stack banana til the morning come

daylight come and me wan go home

come mr tallyman tally me banana

daylight come and me wan go home

come mr tallyman tally me banana

daylight come and me wan go home

lift six foot seven foot eight foot bunch

daylight come and me wan go home

six foot seven foot eight foot bunch

daylight come and me wan go home

day

me say dayo

daylight come and me wan go home

day

me say day

me say day

me say dayo

daylight come and me wan go home

a beautiful bunch of ripe banana

daylight come and me wan go home

hide the deadly black tarantula

daylight come and me wan go home

lift six foot seven foot eight foot bunch

daylight come and me wan go home

six foot seven foot eight foot bunch

daylight come and me wan go home

day

me say dayo

daylight come and me wan go home

day

me say day

me say day

me say dayo

daylight come and me wan go home

come mr tallyman tally me banana

daylight come and me wan go home

come mr tallyman tally me banana

daylight come and me wan go home

dayo

dayo

daylight come and me wan go home

day

me say day

me say day

me say dayo

daylight come and me wan go home

[inkskinned]

the tradwife movement is the same as it has always been - back in the kitchen, back to breeding - it just has better branding.

when i was younger, i hated pink. i was not like other girls. this is now something i'm embarrassed of - this was not me being a "girl's girl."

but it was expressing something many of us felt at the time: i literally wasn't what girlhood was supposed to be. this is a hard thing to explain, but you know when you're not performing girlhood correctly. it isn't as easy as "i liked x when girls liked y" - because there were other girls that liked x, too - but i never figured out exactly the correct way to like x, or to be interested in y.

now there is the divine feminine. this is the same rhetoric it has always been: women are biologically driven to like pink and ribbons and submitting to our husbands.

the problem is that the patriarchy found a better PR team. because yes, actually, i want every woman to have the choice to be a homemaker. i also want her taken seriously for her legitimate home-making labor. i want her to be recognized as also having a job, just unpaid. i want men to have this opportunity, too.

but it is no longer "i made this choice and I love it." instead it is a sixteen-paragraph rant about how selfish it is that my generation isn't having kids. instead it's long videos about how if you feed your children processed foods, you're going to kill them. instead it is "this is what womanhood is supposed to be. i feel bad for any other choices you're making."

the shame spiral is just prettier. it is large houses devoid of personality. it is the implication: if you don't have this, you aren't happy. the solid, everlasting assurance: women are actually supposed to be submitting. this is the default. this is the natural state of things. all other attempts inflict suffering.

but you can no longer say i'm not like other girls. you can no longer reject this image completely. you cannot find it revolting, even if you know that the underbelly is toxic and festering. sure, it is the same repackaged patriarchy. but the internet does not have shades of grey. you should support and reward other women! your disgust is actually internalized misogyny. not because you are seeing a vision of yourself the way they're trying to train you to be. not because you feel her ghost pass within an inch of your earlobe. not because your father will eventually ask you - why can't you be like her?

because they figured out how to make it beautiful: women will sell other women on this idea, and we will find the singular loophole in feminism. sure, she's shaming you in most of her videos. sure, she implies that a different life is obscene. but she just wants you to be happy! you'd be happier if you were listening!

and the whole time you're sitting there thinking: i'd actually just be happier if i had that kind of money.

[mischieviem]

Wdym this wasn't the ending. I watched the movie. This is totally real and canon 🙄

[loveapologist]

He changed his mind.

[gooseinsoup]

suggestion box

[itdosentsmelllikecacatome]

YOU ALREADY KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS

More GOOD OMENS

[galaxyspeaking]

He’s filled his house with chintz. To keep it real I fuck him on the floor.

[hg-aneh]

of daydreaming, codependency and non canon compliancy

[missres12]

[davinawritings]

Imagine being bred and kidnapped by aliens.

Apparently, their entire race is going extinct because they are no longer producing females.

They have traveled to different planets but have not found any compatible females in other species.

When they come to earth, they are in a very rural area with barely any humans.

The first human they encounter is you on your small farm. From your scent alone they can tell you are nice and fertile for them.

The next morning when you walk into your barn to begin your day, you are immediately grabbed and held down, surrounded by a dozen or so alien creatures.

They take turns breeding you, playing with your body to bring you to orgasm each time they fill you, knowing females that orgasm incubate their eggs better.

You fill up quickly with their eggs, your mind already gone from the overwhelming sensations and orgasms.

Hours later you are fucked completely dumb and don't put up any fight as the aliens drag you to their spaceship, prepared to bring you back to their planet and save their entire race one breeding session at a time.

[bunnis-monsters]

NSFW

cw: dubcon, size difference, belly bulge

Getting trapped in a dark cave had been scary enough WITHOUT the gigantic titanoboa naga staring at you from the entrance.

“Mmm…”

He slithered closer, laying flat on his belly so he could get a good look at you. His tongue flicked out, lapping at your cheek.

You were too terrified to scream or run away, so you stared up at him in terror. Though he was huge, he made no moves to crush or swallow you whole.

“How cute…”

A strange purring sound filled the cave as he flicked his forked tongue out again. His lower half rubbed against the cave ground, and two cocks sprung out of his slit.

He tilted his head, blinking before reaching out pick you up by the back of your shirt. Now, you struggled like your life depended on it.

“N-no, please don’t! Let me go!”

This was it, you were going to be devoured whole! You squeezed your eyes shut, ready for the worst…

But instead of being swallowed, you felt something warm and stuck slide between your thighs, rubbing against your soft skin. The naga grunted, his body vibrating with purrs as he moved your back and forth.

When you opened your eyes, your face became hot with embarrassment as you realized the situation you were in.

He was rubbing you against one of his cocks while he pumped the other in his hand. His face was flushed, his cocks leaking precum.

“W-what are you doing!?”

You whined, one of the cocks kept pressing against your panties, his precum soaking through the thin fabric. It was almost shameful how good his cum smelled…

“Getting you ready to breed…”

Your panties were easily ripped off, the very tip of one of his cock rubbing against your hole, tiny compared to the thing he wanted to shove in you.

“Y-you can’t, it won’t fit!”

He nuzzled his head against your face. If he had been any less gentle, he may have broken your neck.

“Doesn’t have to fit…”

With that, he began pushing the very tip in, slowly thrusting it into you. You yelped at the sudden stretch, barely able to fit the tip at all in your small, fat cunt.

“C-can’t!” You blubbered, whining as he continued rubbing and thrusting against you. “Too much!”

But… as the pain began to ease, you started to feel… strange. The smell of his cum, thick and heavy in the air had your pussy drooling. You wanted it, wanted to be bred by both of his cocks.

When he flicked his tongue out to catch your scent again, he made a happy sound, his cocks twitching in excitement. His little mate was enjoying this, you were aroused!

“That’s it, little one… just take it. I’ll fill you up, don’t worry your pretty little head…”

Your belly bulged with his cum as it spurted into your womb, filling you up and making you cream all over the tip of his cock.

He seemed absolutely enamored with how round and soft you were after taking his load, curling up around you and using his soft chest you keep you comfortable.

“Oh, so precious… you’ll give me the cutest little hatchlings, won’t you?”

Earlier that day you had been exploring the jungle with some friends, and now you were mated to the mythical Titanoboa Naga…

Life sure is strange.

——————���

NSFW TAGLIST: @sunset-214 @strawberrypoundtown @avalordream @icommitwarcrimes @bazpire @im-eating-rn @anglingforlevels @kinshenewa @pasteldaze @unforgettablewhvre @yoongiigolden @peachesdabunny @murder-hobo @leiselotte @misswonderfrojustice @dij-ology @i8kaeya @lollboogurl @h3110-dar1in9 @keikokashi @aliceattheart @mssmil3y @spicyspicyliving @namjoons-t1ddies @izarosf1833 @healanette @lem-hhn @spufflepuff @honey-crypt @karljra @zyettemoon1800 @exodiam @vexillum-moeru @imperfectlyperfectprincess1 @binnieonabike @enchantedsylveon @mysticranger575 @readeryn68 @danielle143 @kittenlover614 @filthybunny420 @annavittoria-mm @makimamybelovedwife @blubearxy @omglovelylaila @toocollectionchaos-universe-blog @fruk-you-usuk-fans @wil10wthetree @hammerhead96-blog @slightlyusedfloormat

[xxfaylinnxx]

bnuy man holding bnuy

[saddle-up-sheenie]

This is your villain? This one, right here?

Okay weirdo.

[pseudowho]

You crept past the living room; you had only one opportunity to do this right, and to get away with it, too, but it was entirely reliant on Kento remaining engrossed in his book. You held your breath; a floorboard creeeaked beneath your feet.

"And where," Kento rumbled from his place on the sofa, pyjama'd, reading, and cracking another walnut open in his hand, "do you think you're going, wife?"

You bit your lip in furious self-chastisement, but schooled your expression fast, leaning round the doorframe with a smile.

"Just grabbing a snack. Want anything?" Kento popped a walnut into his mouth, shaking his head, mellow.

You walked to the kitchen...and then crept just past it. You peeked back down the corridor; empty.

You reached up to the thermostat, turning it up just so, just a few degrees more--

"What are you doing?"

Kento was behind you, supernaturally fast and looming, and you shrieked. His hand reached out, turning the thermostat back down with a glare, and you begged.

"--please, Kento, just a few degrees more--"

"--how many times, put a jumper on--"

"--you are such a Scrooge, that's how you got rich isn't it, you massive skinflint--"

"--take care of the pennies, and the pounds will take care of themselves, it's warm enough--"

You played rough at the thermostat, squealing and playfighting, until you felt yourself bound by thick arms and lifted into the air.

"Kento!" You laughed, tossed over his shoulder like an unruly child and carried away, "Put me down!"

Kento tossed you onto the sofa, ignoring your scoffs as he dropped a blanket over you, "It's my duty, as your husband, to keep you warm. And financially responsible."

"--you're incorrigible--" Kento sat next to you, tugging you close with a smirk, "--I loathe you--" Kento threw the blanket over you both, pulling your feet into his lap, "--I can still divorce you--"

"There now," Kento hummed, ignoring you completely, "isn't this nice?"