#fuckin- gay lawyer game

[immagrosscandy]

okay so ace attorney 2023

[thyluvcupix]

Sakuatsu fic recs!

im very picky on what i label to be a 'good fic' most of the ones are amazing but only a few will get bookmarkerd by me and here they are! My ao3 acc that has many more book marks mostly nsfw i diddnt put here

1

A liar's truth 49k words

okay this one is just breathtaking? if you havent read this pls do i cried sm😭

summary:

In which Sakusa Kiyoomi is raised to believe that gay people go to hell but then takes one look at Miya Atsumu and thinks, then why the hell did God make them so fucking hot?

2

I'll see you in court, motherfucker 2k words

its short and funny def worth a read if you wanna giggle

Summary:

“You’re still a fraud. You’re—you’re a scammer, is what you are. I don’t know how you convinced the hospital administration that you’re my husband, or that we even have a relationship, but I have—” Fuck, what’s the word? “Lawyers,” Kiyoomi says triumphantly, “I have lawyers, and if you’re trying to con me for some ulterior motive, I’ll have you know—” “Oh my god, Omi,” Miya says, sounding equal parts exasperated and horribly fond. “How can you be so cute?”

A pleasant side effect of being down one vestigial organ is forgetting the existence of your hot Olympic athlete husband

3

The 28 post cards you left me 8k words

Honestly, if i ever break up with someone this is exactly what i want from them? Like omg?? pls send me post cards, Super cute

Summary:

Atsumu takes texting your ex to a new level by sending Sakusa postcards in Animal Crossing instead.

4

The art of the thrist trap 4k words

naughty naughty, but other than that this fic is so funny? like ask ur brother how to rizz someone up

Summary:

“Samu, I’ve got a big problem.”

“Here we fuckin’ go. What is it this time?”

Atsumu needs to think strategically about how he’s going to phrase this. One wrong word and Osamu will hang up on him and Atsumu will be forced to wade through the hell of his own mind by himself.

“I jerked off to one of my teammates.”

Osamu hangs up.

5

Problem 5k words

super cute sleepy omi is something else

Summary:

Atsumu has a problem— somehow, he finds every version of Sakusa Kiyoomi adorable.

In which Atsumu realizes that Sakusa Kiyoomi gets very quiet and very adorable when he's tired. Things simply go downhill from there.

6

Take me where the music aint to loud 2k words

Protetive sakusa>>

Summary:

Winning against the Adlers must have meant something of a great deal to Sakusa, as usually he wouldn’t even consider going out with the rest of his team after the game.

Yet, here he is, in a somewhat crowded club, wearing a black button up shirt rolled up around his wrists and sweating a little under the bright lights.

Atsumu thinks he looks beautiful.

He wanders over to where Sakusa is standing with Meian, hoping that tonight, with a little bit of influence from alcohol, he might be able to get more conversation out of him than he can usually get outside of practice.

But of course, Atsumu can’t have anything good, ever. Because, blocking the way is his ex-boyfriend.

--

or; atsumu runs into his ex in the club, and sakusa has to rescue him

7

ROAD RAGE 2k words

This is funny on so many levels poor atsumu he fears for his life

Summary:

For a man who preaches at any given opportunity about the importance of good self-care practices, Sakusa certainly displays an astounding lack of self-preservation when behind the wheel.

Sakusa Kiyoomi has a driver’s license. Sakusa Kiyoomi cannot drive.

The two are not mutually exclusive.

8

The ascent to love (or descent) 3k words

Im always a sucker for hurt/comfort and this fic gives me that, its also funny as well so its a win-win type thing

Summary:

Stuck in an elevator with his boyfriend after a fight, Sakusa Kiyoomi couldn't think of anything worse. Working through their issues?  Maybe he could think of one thing.

9

Take me home 10k words

i just cannont stress how good this is, like its soul healing on so may levels gosh

Summary:

Turns out, Miya Atsumu never did a good thing in his life – his love was one-sided. And so, he was running away, hoping to meet some friendly people, take a bunch of pretty pictures and get over Kita Shinsuke.

In which Miya Atsumu is an exchange student in Italy, and Sakusa Kiyoomi is the only one knowing Japanese, forced to take care of the new student.

10

Hope is the thing with feathers 10k words

Two dummies taking care of some birds is honestly to good

Summary:

Kiyoomi wakes to Miya banging on his door, yelling words that put the fear of god in him.

“Omi-kun, get out here, we’re gonna be fathers.”

11

In the stars 1k words

In all honesty it made me think of the other side of love i never thought about

Summary:

Miya Atsumu is a romantic. He always had been. He believes in soulmates and destiny and true love in the stars. Sakusa Kiyoomi believes none of that.

My ao3↵

[badass-queer-couples-battle]

Propaganda for Miles Edgeworth & Phoenix Wright (Ace Attorney)

I came to submit this form after I saw that annon ask and I was like "yes they totally count I love that". They are so gay. And rivals to lovers. And they "fight" in the court room. I love them.

simultaneously badass and possessing sad wet cat energy at the same time. depends on how you look at them. i love them so much. the gay fuckin lawyers

theyre courtroom “rivals,” and in every game after the first ace attorney game, they actually do work together to try and find a verdict during trials. if i remember correctly, they also did investigate a murder together in the 6th game. might be wrong. anyways yeah i consider them a battle couple because they work together to find the truth.

They are literally childhood friends to (one-sided) enemies to best friends to lovers!!!!! They’re childhood best friends, then Edgeworth’s dad dies and he gets taken in by an awful man who moves him to Germany and he and Phoenix fall out of touch and don’t see or speak to each other for years!!!! Then Phoenix sees that Edgeworth has become a prosecutor and decides to become a lawyer to see him again!!!! Edgeworth meanwhile has become so obsessed with winning and broken inside, and Phoenix helps him get better and in later games they are just always ready to help each other if they’re asked!!!! Your honor they’re in love

[writingpun-art]

transparent smug lawyers for your transparent smug lawyer needs

[amemesiella]

reading the tags/reblogs/replies to my last textpost was really fun to go through!! i wanted to reply to all of yous but i realized that the og post would get very,,,,, long,,,,, so here are my responses under the cut

YESSSSS his long playthroughs are SO good i’m pretty sure i watch them more than the more punchy shorter videos bc i like to listen to them while working + his chill voice in his earlier videos was one of the major reasons i even subscribed to him in the first place!!

ALSO !!! i’m glad rt’s celeste video encouraged you to complete most of the game!! even though it’s a high difficulty in terms of platforming i hope you enjoyed the journey along the way :]

THE WHO WELL DO YOU NOW RTGAME VIDEO WAS SO FUCKING FUNNY i actually hurt my stomach laughing jesus christ i still can’t get over the part where his audience literally raided the website and flooded it with rt shite

also the mario galaxy videos have such a special place in my heart i still go back to the first one to hear rt read rosalina’s storybook i just aaaaa,,, soft rt reading voice my beloved

THE STARDEW VALLRY VIDEOS!!!! oh my god those were quintessential controlled chaos videos and also the running memes were so funny ie. ‘go to bed’ and the fuckin cabins…..

irish lads playing don’t starve has got to be one of the greatest blessings on earth and also imo really solidified the irish lads dynamic, featuring dan as the mom friend and kevin as the resident arsonist

OOOOOO this is a really interesting list!! i feel like i don’t give enough attention to the videos of rt playing lesser known games but they’re insanely funny

some of my favorite moments that occured in some of these videos include:

- rt finding and reading all of the really weird achievements for deal or no deal

- rt putting the baby furniture close to a clifface

- rt playing wii tennis with the cooking mama baby

honestly??? that’s so fuckin valid

i didn’t even think the forza horizons videos would keep me engaged bc i don’t even like racing games aside from mario kart but it was those videos that taught me to never doubt rt’s comedic timing and humor bc those were hilarious

also i saw the blinking video live and while i genuinely was a little miffed when rt blinked against his own will the editing in the video later made it funny djfjsjdjks

NOT THE MINECRAFT STORY MODE VIDEOS DJSNDKSKDKSK

rt’s english degree pain was my absolute pleasure his ability to accurately predict what was happening was so fuckin wild AND THE PART WHERE RT RELOADED A SAVE TO KILL MAGNUS SENT ME LMAO

rt’s videos with kevin is SO fun i enjoy their dynamic of “the one who tries to finish the game” and “the one who is absolutely chaotic and in/directly impedes their progress along the way”

and the pheonix wright videos are really well edited and fun to rewatch!! people were really not kidding when the ace attorney games were just ‘gay lawyers’ JDBSJDNSJJF

SOBS THE CELESTE VIDEO IS ONE OF MY TOP COMFORT VIDEOS LARGELY BC ITS ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVORITE GAMES TOO,,, i remember when i saw the twitch notification i fucking booked it to my laptop and ditched all my final exam materials KDNSKMDKSF i will never regret sitting through all 9 hours of that stream,,,,, and although i’m 100% sure we’ll never get a chapter 9 video i hope he completed it at least it’s one of my favorite chapters in the whole game

that mario party video is like gold in terms of humor i only wish that the pre-game stuff was saved bc it gave us gems such as:

- nogla going off about making an irish lads podcast (onlylads when?)

- nogla buying jack’s top of the morning coffee to prove a point

- just nogla in general

also terroriser’s appearance was just so funny his ongoing disdain for rt is so delightful

and if you haven’t i give u my full recommendation to watch the celeste video i may be biased but i’m never wrong (/j for that last bit LOL)

[allstarsmash]

hmm. ace attorney?

ok ive absorbed a lot. i think.

phoenix wright is the ace attorney. miles edgeworth fucking hates him for that

phoenix is always like. whats the phrase. fumbling for scraps? with his cases. but somehow in the end he proves it right. or he doesn’t idk

he cross examines a parrot

the autopsy report gets updated

the red white pink dude. yeah

maya fey is his right hand arm. girl. she’s a psychic who’s the brains of the operation

she has an older (mia) and younger (pearl) sister and i think mia and phoenix went to lawyer school together?

there’s a dude named godot who drinks a lot of coffee and is a major dick

trucy wright is phoenix’s daughter maybe. idk if that’s how it is in canon but she is a magician and the light of everyone’s life

apollo justice exists. no idea where he came from but he also solves murder cases! he and trucy are close. she’s like the maya to his phoenix i think.

klavier gavin gets on apollo’s nerves maybe in a gay way idk. he’s german and in a band called the gavinners (lol). he says ACHTUNG a lot

simon blackquill is a character name

WAIT WHOS THE FUCKIN MAGICIAN. UM. GUY WITH THE CONDUCTOR’S BOW. I LIKE HIM. AND WOCKY KITAKI I LIKE HIM TOO

oh i know about the clown case. berry big circus. i watched a playthrough of it

there’s these things called truth locks or smtn and unlocking those through dialogue choices is how you get info from the guilty party

i found a copy of an apollo justice game at a game store and it cost like fifty bucks

[clownowo]

You kept posting about gay lawyers and i was like "What if i just read fanfics and gleaned the plot that way" and then i did it. I had dipped my toes into the game before like my friends and i played a bit of the first game in vc before but you (and a good portion of my dash) posting about it made me actually start searching it out.

WOOOOOOOOO

that is also how i got into ace attorney. fanfics first. then games. i dont actually recommend it tho. ace attorney is the type of game that like. is def still good in a replay, as all good games are, but its also the type of game that like. i'd kill to re-experience some shit blind man.

i live vicariously through forcing my irls my irls to expirence the games for the first time in a big ol' group where we give all the characters silly voices. solving the mysteries, that moment where you know where a case is going, you've solved it, without the game holding your hand, and you can't wait to present that evidence and watch the real killer lose their absolute shit in a fun new way, nothing compares. nothing. i remember playing aa1 for the first time late at night and getting so hyped over a fucking visual novel lawyer game that i fuckin punched the air and forgot i was silently sitting in the darkness of my room playing a video game.

ace attorney mysteries can be... rough sometimes, and sometimes you gotta pull up a walkthrough because "whadda you mean i gotta go back to the fucking office" but like. they feel so good.

and i kinda wish i could go back and. undo the spoilers i gave myself by reading fanfics and going through the tags. I wish i could experience JfA blind and slowly let it dawn on me what happened to Edgeworth, only for him to triumphantly reappear at the end. I wish I hadn't known about Iris, I wish I hadn't known about Kristoph. I wish i had experienced it blind at least once. because all the big shit i already know. i can't imagine how they must have felt, the first time.

i'm very excited to finish the great ace attorney because!!!!!! i know fucking nothing!!!!!!!!! at all!!!!!!!!!!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #461

“this city looks so pretty, do you wanna burn it with me?”

Have you ever wanted a Nikon camera? Or do you have one already? My camera before the one I have now was a Nikon D3200. I use a Canon now. Who was the last person (if anyone) you said Happy Birthday to? A friend. Do you have Photoshop? If so, how often a day do you use it? I have it, but I barely use it nowadays. I use it to edit photos for character profiles or profile pictures, add a watermark for my actual photography, and I used to make Mark-oriented gifs like crazy. They mostly did really well, so... I might wanna get back into that and get That Sweet Validation. Do you watch any shows that you know your parents wouldn’t approve of? No. Have any of your exes gotten married or had kids since your breakup? None, I think. Do either of your parents have a mental illness? My mom has depression. Can you tolerate children for a long period of time? NO. Have you ever lived with someone you felt thoroughly uncomfortable around? No. Are you into dubstep? Yeah, I tend to enjoy it. Zelda or The Sims games? Can I pick neither? lol I don't feel very much at all for The Sims, and Zelda games have always looked... boring to me? Like I've watched most of the Game Grumps' playthroughs of all the games, and they make it hilarious of course, but the games themselves? Nah. Are you terrible at assigning bands their proper genre? YES YES YES YES YES YES. Even in my preferred category, that being metal, FUCK if I know the sub-genre. Have you ever made out in a closet? No, that shit sounds claustrophobic as hell. Have you ever been to a laser tag place? Yeah, on a triple-date once! It was SO fun. How do you wanna celebrate your next birthday? Have a couple friends over, pig out at The Cheesecake Factory. o3o Do you tease your parents about them being old? No, especially not Mom. She's self-conscious about getting older. Are you in love with someone? "In love" is a bit too far, buddy. But I love someone. Have you ever ridden a unicycle? No. Have you ever wanted a pet bunny? I was VERY serious about getting a lop-eared bunny for quite a while, but we just couldn't afford to adopt one (even off Craigslist) and get a cage for it, toys, etc. Are the bottom of your feet clean? I HATE seeing the bottom of my feet. Not because they're dirty, but because it's Callus City. I ain't even fuckin jokin'. Do you like really salty food? Yeah. :x When’s the last time you bled a lot? Well, I just recently finished my cycle after not menstruating for three or four MONTHS, so you can figure that one out. Have you ever watched a needle go into your own skin? Yeah. I like to know exactly when it's coming. Have you ever seen someone get a piercing/tattoo? Yes to both. When you’re done eating finger foods, do you usually lick your fingers? Usually kasdjlf;kalsdjf shut up ok I like food. What’s the most racist thing you have ever said? As a little kid, when my really good friend (a neighborhood kid, even) asked if he thought we'd be a good couple, I told him no because "blacks and whites don't date" or something like that. It was an idea I'd never been exposed to before; the idea was so foreign to little kid me. I had no idea I was being racist. It ended in a small fight and we didn't talk for a few days 'til he came to my house telling Mom that he had to "be a man" and fix this and if that ain't the cUTEST SHIT RIGHT THERE. We were friends again after that. He's still on my Facebook, and he actually semi-recently got married! :') Do you know someone that is mute, deaf or blind? No. Have you ever spent more than two weeks in a wheelchair? No. Does weed smell good? Or no? Ugh, no. Where do you see your closest friend in ten years? Successful and happy she kept pushing. Mama to so many reptiles that are blessed with the best lives possible in human care. Got at least one amazing book out there. If she's reading this, you've fucking got this. <3 Would you like to have twins? Mother of fucking god, no. Even if I WANTED kids, do fucking not give me twins. Who was the last person you got into an argument with? My mom. Want to have kids before you’re 30? Once again, I don't want kids, but IF I did, that'd be preferable before the risk of birth defects and other issues climb with age. Does anybody have a tattoo with your name on it? My older sister has my initial. Do you think somebody’s in love with you? No. Do you think you and your best friend will be friends in ten years? Yes, I genuinely do. Who were the last people to hang out at your house? Miss Tobey, our friend and landlord. Does anyone like you? Welp... I hope he still does. Guess we'll figure that out soon. What person on your Facebook do you talk to the most? VIA Facebook? Probably my friend Lyndsey. She likes to comment on stuff I share. Do you want to fall in love? I do, but I'm also utterly horrified to and risk being hurt again. Are you interested in more than one person at the moment? No. Once I realized I was so deeply into Girt, all other romantic feelings kinda just... poofed. How was your last break up? Civil and done with both of our best interests in mind. What is the hardest thing you’ve ever had to say? Probably the first time I admitted I needed to go to the hospital for suicidal thoughts. I was so, so scared of what it was going to be like. What is the hardest thing you NEEDED to hear? That if Jason wasn't happy with me, he had every right to move on. She was right. Do you treat yourself well? No... but I'm trying to change that. What was the last song you sang out loud to? This "Set Fire to the Rain" cover. Do you take good pictures? I think I do? Have you ever done any internship? No. What’s a topic you’ve drastically changed your opinion on? Holy shit, so much, especially when it comes to morality and political stances. I am now a massive supporter and member of the LGBTQ+ community, I'm pro-trans rights, pro-choice... I've done like a dozen 180s in a lot of topics. Do you know anyone who has a PhD? I mean, some doctors, but no one in my truly personal life. Do you know anyone who works as a lawyer? Yes: my cousin. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? LAKSDJFKLA;JWD NEVER AND I PRAY TO THE HOLY LORD THAT I NEVER DO. Does the thought of having wrinkles when you’re older upset you? Not massively? Like literally everyone gets them and is natural and inevitable. Do you know anyone who’s struggling with addiction? I know one alcoholic, and one that's probably borderline. I also have two friends who are extremely addicted to weed. Look me in the eyes and say it's not an addictive substance and I wouldn't believe you one bit. Is there a video or computer game that you can get lost in for hours? Eh, sometimes World of Warcraft. Some days I'm really into it, and others I barely touch it. What’s your favorite Disney Channel movie? I have no clue. I don't even remember movies that were made *for* Disney exclusively. Do you ever have to do yard work? No. We have a friend from the dance studio mow the lawn. Do you have any live versions of songs in your music software? My iPod has a whole live album of Ozzy. Did you or do you listen to Britney Spears songs? Both did and do. Britney is a boss bitch. Does your favorite band have a male or female lead singer? Male. Have you seen the movie Moulin Rouge? No, but I've seen some of that P!nk music video of the song and it brings out the Gay in me. Do you have a key to anything besides your house? No. Could you ever complete a 500-piece puzzle? I've done that before. I miss doing puzzles... Have you ever been to any sort of convention? I went to a reptile expo with Sara!! I REALLY want to go to another when my legs are stronger and can handle standing and walking so much. Is your mom or dad the older parent? Mom. Have you ever tried to walk on a moving vehicle and fallen over? No????? What is your favourite kind of bread? Is there any of that in your house? Pumpernickel. No. Are/were you in the school band, and if so, what instrument did you play? I played the flute all through middle school and I wanna say half of HS. Have you ever ordered an unusual drink at a bar? Never even been to one. Have you ever been pulled aside by security at the airport? I think once for some reason I don't recall? What is your favourite seasonal candy? (only available at certain times) Gingerbread men, probs. Or chocolate bunnies!!! :') How do you feel right now? My stomach is KILLING me. I'm super excited though that Girt is coming over tomorrow. Have you ever had surgery that kept you in the hospital for over a day? No. What would you like your generation to change? How we treat nature. Is there anyone that you truly could not live without? No. I learned that is a very unhealthy mentality to have. Do you like carrots more if they’re raw, or cooked? I just hate carrots. What restaurant did you last go out to dinner at with friends? With friends? I couldn't even guess. Does your refrigerator have an ice maker or do you use ice cube trays? It has an ice maker. Do you have a favorite sibling, if any? No; I love them all. Do you have a favorite brand of clothing? I STAN CLOAK. How’s the love life? Something new might start tomorrow. I think it will. Do you watch the news? No; that shit is depressing. Who do you admire most? Mark. Do you have a favorite album? Black Rain by Ozzy Osbourne takes the cake and always will.

[mad-men-inc]

🌻

So I've been playing the shit out of batman, right? As a way to not be hanging out in tsr literally 24/7 (and on the chance that this is sent by one of the lucky few who I havent screamed about tsr to: TSR or The Septic Resistance is an arg me and some friends are running, that yall can come and spectate if you're interested!)

But all batman has done to me is make me and my muses go feral, cause certain aspects of the game mimic stuff that we've considered having in tsr, or at least give off similar vibes.

The biggest thing is the whole "joker manipulates batman into pulling the trigger on scarecrow", and the architects are 100% joker, but you can kinda substitute a few people in for batman??? Like, ethan is batman. Early stage!creator is batman. Anti is batman. Its wild?????? But the scene also gave me corrupt!drew vibes, so his muse went feral over it too??? Its a wild scene

I've been trying to play it without using the fuckin car, cause damn if that isnt the most irritatingly overused gadget I've ever seen. I get it's the first game with the car, and it handles decently well so you wanna show it off, but for gods' sake rocksteady, please stop making every puzzle be solved via the car >:(

Maybe I'm just being a bitch, cause they didnt have the car in the other 2 games (basically, its cameo in Asylum doesnt really count), and it isnt *easy* to get around gotham without it (or it's not fast, it's easy enough), but like. Mmmm, I dont wike it.

But the story is gorgeous and I love flying around gotham, tbh. It's gotten to the point where I really dont need the map anymore, whether in driving or flying, I know where I'm going without waypoints and shit.

I wish!!!! There were more villains in the side quests!!!!!!! So many dudes are unresolved, and it makes me so upsetti!!!!!! Calendar man deserved better!!!!!!! He killed 3 or 4 people on his way out of City, wtf you mean he isnt showing up on Halloween?????? Bitch?????????? The biggest crime day of the year in Gotham, coupled with having free reign cause the city is evacuated???? *WHAT DO YOU MEAN HES JUST GONE??????????*

They made Origins canon in that game too, and that's distressing. I dont remember much of that game, except that the 3nding was a cop out, deathstroke was the only good fight, and electrocutioner was the wimpiest piece of shit villain youve ever seen. Oh, and Shiva was trans!

Oh fuck, in Knight, they have gay side characters just walking around, and their conversations are kinda hilarious? It's the militia, right? The army-for-hire that has Gotham under siege. And one of them is sitting there bitching about how his wife doesnt appreciate the sketchy bullshit he does for her (laundering money through her company, blood diamonds in her jewelry box), and the other guy goes "yeah haha, I know what you mean. My other half is a human rights lawyer. He uh- thinks I'm on a business trip" like, that's a *real* problem, yall are literally opposite sides of the spectrum in terms of jobs, one of you kills people for a living and the other is a HUMAN RIGHTS LAWYER AKXHWH the fucking *irony*, get our of here with your stolen, cheap ass blood diamonds, the gays have *real* problems.

That game needs more women tho. Harley gets too many panty shots, Christina fuckin dies, Selina is a damsel in distress, Ivy also dies, Babs gets [redacted], and Kate is just a voice message on his phone. And I cant think of a single other woman that's in the main story. And none of the militia or rioters are women. Come on rocksteady, please. Make women be evil, let the gays have one thing, *please*.

Anyw? This was fun, I have no idea if I said anything important, thank you for the ask, friendo! Qjdhqhd

[mars-ipan]

school me in a l l o f t h e m I dare you

homie that would be. far too many. so i’ll give you the two i currently really wanna talk about, starting with the one i’d get less hate over probably

Narumitsu/Wrightworth- Ace Attorney series

i mean. this one. this one’s easy as hell. let’s start from the beginning. pheonix wright, 3rd grader, is accused of stealing the lunch money of miles edgeworth, aspiring lawyer and fellow 3rd grader. the class is awful to pheonix, saying that he stole the money without proving it in a mock trial. it gets to the point where even the teacher is telling him to apologize. this poor child is sobbing, trying to explain that he didn’t do it. suddenly, an objection. surprise bitches it’s the victim, miles edgeworth. “blah blah you can’t say he did it without any proof blah blah he shouldn’t have to apologize”. the class apologizes and pheonix is acquitted. this marks the start of their friendship. not too long after (a couple of years, at most?) miles’ dad and role model is murdered in a horrible incident (this is responsible for edgeworth’s fear of earthquakes which sucks since he lives in japanifornia). miles is now under the care of manfred von karma, abusive german asshole prosecutor who can die in a hole. this is where miles stops talking to pheonix (moving away to germany can do that) and decides to be a prosecutor with his newfound hatred of crime. skip to college. pheonix is in a horrible abusive relationship, the poor baby barely avoided death and was immediately accused of murder. guess who’s prosecuting this trial? miles mcfrickin edgeworth. and pheonix thinks “hold on. i know him!!! oh my god what happened????” after he is, once again, acquitted, pheonix makes the stupidest desicion in his life: to become a defense attorney. he stops going to art school and starts going to law school, just so he can meet this dude again and ask him what the hell happened to him. because if the stubborn asshole wouldn’t respond to his letters, he’d have to meet him in court eventually anyways. so pheonix becomes a lawyer. he’s... surprisingly good at it. then a case with edgeworth. and he wins!! super well!!! once again!! edgeworth is likely just “oh my god what the fuck???” idk tho since we play as pheonix, dumbass extroardinaire. anyways, in either this case or a later one (i do not remember) edgeworth comes up to pheonix after losing and essentially tells him “you’re making me feel things and i don’t like feeling things so get out of my court” (i mean literally. “saddled with unnecessary feelings, like unease and uncertainty” like bITCH??? YOU LOVE HIM D U H). and then edgeworth is accused of murder. pheonix immediately is at the detention center going “bitch let me defend you or so help me god.” miles, ever the confusing fuck, is just “no. not happening, absolutely not.” (there’s also a line where edgeworth goes “i... didn’t want you to see me like this” and in the remastered version pheonix deadass thinks “trust me, i didn’t want to see you like this, either” like b IT CH.) anyways a quick earthquake happens and once everyone’s settled, pheonix realizes he can’t see miles through the glass anymore. he stands up to look through the room and bam there’s edgeworth, on the floor trembling. this poor man. anyways pheonix is just “well i’m gonna defend u even if u don’t want me to so i’m gonna start investigating” and he does that and talks to edgeworth’s lovely detective pal, gumshoe, who explains edgeworth’s fear of earthquakes and also that after he lost his first trial against pheonix edgeworth was literally just saying “wright, wright, wright” and pacing u h m?? anyways eventually pheonix finds out that the case is related to the dl-6 incident, which is the one where edgeworth’s father dies. he goes back to the detention center and edgeworth’s all “well that’s what i didn’t want you to find out but now you know so sure defend me what the hell but you’re gonna lose” bc guess who’s prosecuting??? v o n k ar m a. anyways pheonix wins the trial, gets von karma convicted for murdering edgeworth’s father also bc dl6 was never actually solved and it’s funky fresh. edgeworth is all “i don’t know what to say,,,,” so maya, pheonix’s lovely assistant in the original trilogy, is all “try t h a n k yo u”

other moments where they are Not Heterosexual include:

all of oldbag. edgey i am so fucking sorry you had to deal with her ass. i mean yeah everyone would have that reaction but edgeworth IS a snacc, he likely goes through this all the time. no girlfriend though. rampant homosexual

i mean seriously who wears a cravat all the time other than a gay and/or a vampire

“they’re rivals!” “maybe for now we are..”

“that man” “that defense attorney” “him”- miles edgeworth, all the time

5 red knights surrounding 1 blue pawn on edgeworth’s custom chessboard

there was a jewelry line made for the game. pheonix and edgeworth both have rings. they are the only ones with rings.

and that’s only the original trilogy babey!!! there’s plenty more in the future games but i unfortunately don’t know anything past apollo justice so ah well

2. Mavin/Team Nice Dynamite- Achievement Hunter

okay first of all this is a real people fandom so i’m gonna start with a disclaimer. A. i ship them casually, B. they (and their partners) are perfectly okay with it and joke about it all the time, C. they are in a committed bromance and i will not pester them in any way. thank you. this will also be in list form as there is less of a narritive to follow :>

okay so. these fucking nerds. met on valentine’s day. they tweet @ each other on valentine’s day saying shit like “happy anniversary” i can not make this up.

they refer to each other as “boi” and “my boi” all the time. michael’s twitter bio deadass says “[wife] is my girl, gavin is my boi”

just. just watch play pals

they got married in minecraft once. it was domestic and cute afterwards.

angry boy (michael) is simultaneously Soft with and Angrier with stupid brit (gavin)

“i will,,,, have sex with you,,, consensually.” -michael jones, drunk off his ass

*gavin appears on tv in a bar* “everyone look!! it’s my boy!!! that’s my boy!!!” *applause from the entire bar*-michael jones, once again drunk off his ass

almost the entire office lowkey ships it

michael gets jealous. all the time. he has mentioned a time when gavin referred to his other best friend as “his boi” and while recalling the anecdote, michael basically said “and i was like *growl*” like. damn ok

matching necklaces

michael is the best at translating gav’s britishisms and gavinisms

“my wife is dead,,,, my husband is dead”- michael jones, in a hardcore minecraft server where he is the sole survivor

they casually lay all over each other and invade each others’ personal space all the time

they joke about gavin being the bottom in literally every fic with them. gav’s only complaints with the fic are that he’s the bottom.

i think the reason they don’t have gavin do an episode of red dragon inn is because michael would be far too powerful. maybe one day tho. hopefully

michael’s own wife is just out here all “hell yeah dude fuckin go with it” (we love lindsay jones in this household)

“just kiss and get it over with”

“micool,,”- gavin free, Squeaky Brit

“sucked michael’s dick last night: gavin free”- credit on the podcast

the “are you wearing my jacket” “yeah, i guess i am” “stop! ,,,take my clothes off,,” line comes from them

just. look in the tag for mavin. you’ll see what i’m talking about.

their dynamic is very similar to @an-ok-dude and i’s actually. except. ours is less angry and squeaky. kinda

alright kids that’s it for now. this post is getting long and being on mobile means i can’t put it under a read more so i’m gonna stop here :>

bls tho check these tags there’s so much good content

[sleazygoing]

* PEOPLE I’D LIKE TO KNOW BETTER !

TAGGED BY: @vomitchoke, @lovesized, and @ccnfidant, holy shit thank u!! TAGGING: oh shit i been seeing this one around a lot y’all please have at it i love hearing bout people’s fav shit B)

ONE ( ALIAS / NAME )  quincy TWO ( BIRTHDAY )  march 9th, same day as barbie :) THREE ( ZODIAC SIGN )  pisces baby.... FOUR ( HEIGHT )  redacted im trying my best FIVE ( HOBBIES )  sleep, vidya game (badly)... buy ugly and bad clothes... hang out with animales.... i feel like a fuckin alien when ppl ask me what i like to do cuz in that moment forget everything i like to do SIX ( FAVORITE COLOR(S )   green! also yellow but i kind of hate it, i can’t explain this SEVEN ( FAVORITE BOOKS )   fear and loathing in las vegas by hunter s. thompson.... also i really liked devil’s defender by john henry browne, really interesting guy!! he was ted bundy’s lawyer but honestly that was like the least interesting part imo. EIGHT ( LAST SONG LISTENED TO )   in the shower this morning i listened to cheers by dabbla B) NINE ( LAST FILM WATCHED )   army of darkness TEN ( INSPIRATION FOR MUSE )    can i just list off things that remind me of him and give me the mood... cuz that’s how it works here... ok here we go: the pink panther, those really sleazy ‘70s-’80s magazine ads for new age scams and drug paraphernalia, italo-disco music, scarface, gay cowboys, austin ‘big sexy’ powers, daffy fucking duck, the lawyer from the simpsons, videos of baby monkeys, garfield, also i am a big fan of that whole crime movie subgenre where the entire plot is ‘criminals fucking things up’ ELEVEN ( MEANING BEHIND YOUR URL )  he’s easy, he’s sleazy, he’s vernon fucking kennedy, and he’s hungry for your credit card details, thank you and goodnight.

[kaiba-fangirl]

Fill in the questions/statement as if you are being interviewed for an article and you were your muse

Tag 10 people to do this meme, (repost, don’t reblog)

TAGGED BY: not @rogueprinceconsort =P & I know I’m not a RP blog, but I am a fanfic author so I still do the same kind of stuff, just everyone at once with chapters, so I’m sure ya won’t mind... idk itching to write Seto but his mind is all over the place in Ch7 of And You? (AO3/FFN), & I know I’ve missed a bunch of personal tags in the past, so, well, I’m here now. TAGGING: anyone 1. WHAT IS YOUR NAME?

“Seto Kaiba.”  (海馬 瀬人 Kaiba, Seto)

2. WHAT IS YOUR REAL NAME?

He narrows his eyes, already suspicious. “Legally, that IS my real name.”

3. DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU WERE CALLED THAT?

“I was born Seto,” he answers flatly, then smirks. “The Kaiba family name I earned for myself and my little brother at the age of 10, when Gozaburo agreed to adopt us thanks to my, superior negotiating skills.” [Seto after Egyptian Pharaoh Seth. Kaiba for, apparently, hippocampus/seahorse.]

4. ARE YOU SINGLE OR TAKEN? “Taken. Happily married to the number 1 female duelist, Mai Valentine. She’s now heading the new Fashion Tech and Merchandise Department at Kaiba Corp.” [but he’s also still looking >.>]

5. HAVE ANY ABILITIES OR POWERS? “Just bleeding edge technology development and superior dueling skills,” he shrugs smugly. [and hacking.] [You also accidentally activate latent magical powers every so often, dumbass. Sure he’s a genius. A genius that weaves techno-sorcery into everything & commands gods without even knowing it.] “Anything else you may have heard about magic or spirits or real monsters, is all just nonsense hocus pocus. It’s sensationalists trying to make our amazingly life-like holographic projections seem dangerous.”

6. STOP BEING A MARY SUE/GARY STU. “Heh, doesn’t that just mean born talented? You should be so lucky.”

7. WHAT’S YOUR EYE COLOR? “Blue,” he chuckles childishly. “It was probably what first drew me to, you know, Blue-Eyes, when I was young.” [It’s not. The Blue-Eyes White Dragon was his magical monster of light ‘girlfriend’ in Ancient Egypt in a past life of his 3000 years ago.]

8. HOW ABOUT YOUR HAIR COLOR? “Chestnut.”

9. HAVE YOU ANY FAMILY MEMBERS? “Living, my little brother, Mokuba, and now my lovely wife.”

10. OH? WHAT ABOUT PETS? “No pets. I barely have time for having two people in my life now it seems, and that’s even with Mokuba off travelling.” [any pet energy is expended on more Blue-Eyes White Dragon themed everything]

11. THAT’S COOL I GUESS, NOW TELL ME ABOUT SOMETHING YOU DON’T LIKE. “You wanna see a REAL Gary Stu?! As in, there is no reason he should have made it this far?! Joey fuckin Wheeler. This loser stole his way into my tournament, then has the nerve to even challenge me for 3rd place as if that meant anything, and he still ends up 4th even?! How! He operates on pure luck, and leeching off his ‘friends!’ His deck is a mess, I mean have you even seen his lineup?!?!” [Well that would all be redacted. Now, since this is for an interviewer for a published article...] He calmly and thoughtfully looks off at a spot on the far wall behind the interviewer. He purses his lips and furrows his brow, genuinely distraught, drawing from a direct encounter. “I’m actually more concerned than ever about the state of refugees- whether they have that official label or not. Around the world. Especially the children. These children don’t know what’s going on, and people say they care about children, but they really don’t. They’re not thinking of those kids- of refugee kids. Of poor kids. Of orphans or abused kids. And the way these refugees are being treated, those kids are getting hit with all those things at once. Ya know, I- I was fortunate enough to have that opportunity to be adopted, in a strong first-world nation, but I know what it’s like, to know that the grown ups are just using you, not listening to you. You’re nothing to them; maybe pawns. Now, I’m doing all I can, as president of Kaiba Corp, but there is still only so much we can do. We’re not making tanks or any weapons at all anymore-” He chokes at the thought of a tank staring him down specifically, compared to the latest news. He clears his throat to manage. “Not since the day I took over. We may not be contributing to that military industrial complex anymore, but the state of refugees today is still just as bad if not worse. Now they’re using weapons outlawed by the Geneva Conventions, and in countries that pride themselves on freedom and opportunity. Pteh. It’s madness. It’s evil.” [...aaand that just became the cover story] [We’ll be back after after a short break.]

12. DO YOU HAVE ANY HOBBIES/ACTIVITIES YOU LIKE DOING? “Besides dueling, uh, tinkering. Reading. Hacking into random databases I shouldn’t be in.”

13. EVER HURT ANYONE BEFORE? “Next question. Don’t even print that, or you’ll be hearing from my lawyers. And they don’t play so nice.” [By ‘lawyers’ I’m pretty sure he just means goons.]

14. EVER… KILLED ANYONE BEFORE? "No.” [Gozaburo.]

15. WHAT KIND OF ANIMAL ARE YOU? "Dragon.”

16. NAME YOUR WORST HABITS. "Tch, I wouldn’t have gotten to be president of a multi-billion-dollar corporation if I had bad habits.”  [That is literally his worst habit. Also how he got there is because of all his bad habits.] He chuckles at what he’s about to make fun of. “Then again, some people think that working too much is a bad habit.”

17. DO YOU LOOK UP TO ANYONE AT ALL? "How could I when I’m already on top?”

18. GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL? "Irrelevant.” He smiles menacingly. “Card games are more important anyway.” [Bi and trying to figure out how to tell his wife. Then again once he does that, the press will be easy. Possibly also grey ace or demi, since he does enjoy the physical aspects of being married & his crush.]

19. DO YOU GO TO SCHOOL? “Graduated high school early and then went right back to work as CEO, at the time. I don’t have time to waste getting a piece of paper to validate my knowledge that I’m already putting to use at Kaiba Corp everyday. --but I certainly support everyone staying in school as long as they can. Kaiba Corp offers a free college tuition program for any employee, paid ahead of time, and schedules can be worked around class and homework time as needed.”

20. DO YOU EVER WANT TO MARRY AND HAVE KIDS ONE DAY? “I never thought I would want to marry, but I have always assumed I would want to adopt. Now I am married, and we both want to adopt. Someday. It needs to be when I can have time for them...” [and he’s wondering why you are supposed to only marry one person...]

21. DO YOU HAVE ANY FANBOYS/FANGIRLS? “Yeah,” he laughs, genuinely embarrassed at this level of pure idolization, “I find it endearing to see people dress up as Yugi and I at events.”

22. WHAT ARE YOU MOST AFRAID OF? “Losing my little brother.”

23. WHAT DO YOU USUALLY WEAR? “Full-length pants, tight fitting turtlenecks, boots, and a trenchcoat. More leather and straps and buckles, the better.”

24. DO YOU LOVE SOMEONE? “Of course. My little brother and my wife.” [and Joey]

25. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WET YOURSELF? [he just makes this face:]

[but possibly the last time he did hard drugs]

26. WHAT CLASS ARE YOU? (HIGH CLASS, MIDDLE CLASS, LOW CLASS) “Highest class.” He winks, for the spotlight.

27. HOW MANY FRIENDS DO YOU HAVE? “I don’t need ‘friends’ outside of my family.”

28. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON PIE? “Finally, an intelligent question!” he laughs rudely. “My thoughts are that we should change the standard approximation for π to something closer to 3.16. That’s what I use in my calculations, and I find things just seem to work out better for me because of it.”

29. FAVORITE DRINK? “I’ve started drinking a lot more water, and I think that’s pretty much all I drink lately.”

30. WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE PLACE? “It’s comforting being in my office, knowing where I belong, knowing that with me there, everyone I love is safe, knowing how I got there, and being proud of all I’ve accomplished, but...” [sometimes anxiety about it being Gozaburo’s old office creeps into his mind like an evil spirit or ghost...] “But more than that, I enjoy the wild freedom of just taking my Blue-Eyes jet out with some good music playing.” [oh my various gods he will always be an emo teen at heart <3]

31. ARE YOU INTERESTED IN SOMEONE? He scoffs. “Yes, I am genuinely interested in my wife. Mai is an amazing person. And- Ah, and, um, next question?” [and Joey!]

32. WHAT’S YOUR BRA CUP SIZE AND/OR HOW BIG IS YOUR WILLY? “What kind of magazine is this for, anyway?” he asks as an aside, then thinks up a ridiculous enough response. “Ever hear of Zorc? I’d say that’s roughly one-third the size of mine.” Under his breath, he scoffs in disgust. “Imbeciles.”

33. WOULD YOU RATHER SWIM IN THE LAKE OR THE OCEAN? “Er, a private pool, thanks. Too many paparazzi anyplace else, and I wouldn’t want to close off anything from the public.” [I hear there’s a river in Egypt he lives in though]

34. WHAT’S YOUR TYPE? “Independent. Strong. Great duelist. Someone who knows what it’s like at rock bottom, but still managed to claw their way to the top...” [he spaces out off to the side]

35. ANY FETISHES? *zoom out to room full of Blue-Eyes White Dragon themed EVERYTHING* “Nah.” [*insert Will Smith presenting his AO3 tags]

36. SEME OR UKE? TOP OR BOTTOM? DOMINANT OR SUBMISSIVE?

[Switch! But “And You?” is stuck at a T rating, sooo...]

37. CAMPING OR INDOORS? "The fuck- you’re giving me whiplash with these questions,” he mutters. “Camping sounds nice. Real camping. Mokuba and I used to build forts and play outside a lot. I should ask him if he wants to go on a camping trip when he gets back. I doubt- well, no, I think Mai would like that, too.” [And Joey can cook them “candy bars!”]

38. ARE YOU WANTING THE QUIZ TO END?

[ghosty-schnibibit]

taz liveshow liveblog below the cut! ^u^

i have seen literally one (1) spoiler for this liveshow and that is apparently it's canon that krav and taako have a cat? i love this

the caption sounds so fun!

oh dang, straight into the episode then :o

"well justin does" pfffff

i still need to listen to that first balance liveshow! i signed up for max fun during the drive and listened to elementary but not the first liveshow and i need to desperately

"we'll always remember you dylan, where ever you may be, i presume hell" justin mcelroy, condemning rules lawyers to hell

so the old friend is not krav then, i don't think they'd be getting a letter from taako's bf lmao

DAVENPORT :D

oh shit, dav's a pirate :o

he knows taako so well lmao

so he sent them a howler essentially... i just thought about dav sending enchanted audio letters because he wants to remind himself he can talk and now i've made myself sad :(

taako wants to protect dad'n'port awww

"every other month" i'm going to assume that's like... family dinner night, i'm sorry but they meet up way more than that

how would you play a card game with a horse clinton

"let the little kid talk" big bro justin lmao

oh snap dav

THE WAVESMASHER

THE WAVEHUMPER

i fucking love this omg, please someone draw some choice davenchurch art with dav all pirate-y later

i love how like... post-sas davenport is just a laid back crunchy sailor. i cannot wait to see how his portrayal in fics changes after this

so this implies that dav is actually on pretty okay terms with lucretia after sas? hmmm...

i'm assuming that's because barry and lup are in reaper training

oooh new npc :o

and all the lesbians in the audience swoon

taako you lil baby ilu

b a h o o y

her name is orla :D

gotta love that vehicle proficiency

magnus ilu you silly boy

merle wtf... clint omg why

... so how old is davenport??? like the common fandom portrayal of him is around 40's-50's, or at least the gnome equivalent... i know he's still there when magnus dies so he's got at least fifty or sixty years left in him but like... holy shit griffin this is heavy as hell

"oh. just me then. alright." awww :’(

justin's doing taako's sincere voice and i'm fuckin tearing up

get dunked on merle lol

maggie my baby

taako you fucking shit ilu

wasn't a scurvy joke the origin of the key lime gogurt goof??? the circle of stupidity is complete

"what's your symptoms, pal?" davenport confirmed for team dad

"DO YOU HAVE ANY LIMES THOUGH" T A A K O

we are only a fourth of the way in and i have so many notes holy shit

that was so goddamn weird

eww no, merle no :(

oh snap is that krav

WHAT THE HELL MAGNUS

OH SHIT THAT'S NOT KRAVITZ

HOW WOULD A RAFT EXPLODE??? oh that's how

god bless orla

"not every character is gonna be a callback" griffin i know for a fact kravitz is in this episode :/

well that's precious

so davenport lied about the whole thing??? holy shit

poor clint lmao

go merle!!!!! :D

"fainting is not a wound" pffff

oh shit this is so cool :o

captain calloway is such a nice pirate omg

dang mangus

YOU ARE LITERALLY DATING A SKELETON MAN TAAKO

t h e  b o n e  z o n e

OH SNAP

cut-li

i didn't get it lol

NICE :D

not so nice :(

it's team rocket

OH SHIT D:

"fuck" griffin you need to remember to take that away from magnus, this is why the first two liveshows were no magic items allowed

"i think a demon already took it" jesus justin

holy fucking shit travis

OH NO, OH NO, OH NO

what are you up to taako

taako why did you think that would work???

WAIT THAT WAS HIGH ENOUGH?!?

so it went through calloway's ship? oh thank fuck i thought it went through davenport's ship for a minute there

oh shit, what???

OH NO IT'S A FLEET

aww kravitz you dramatic fucker

AAAAA LUP AND BARRY TOO AAAAAAAAAA

THE SHITTY COCKNEY WORK ACCENT I LOVE THIS

AWWWWW HE'S SO HAPPY TO SEE HIS BF, I LOVE THIS

"WHAT'RE YA DOING HERE BABE?" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

griffin "i'm gonna give the gays everything they want" mcelroy makes a comeback with krav being cute as hell

more of kravitz's gambling habit lol

renowinter

god i love this

THEY HAVE CATS AT HOME OMG

WHO THE FUCK IS SUSAN???

JESUS FUCK THEY'RE SO DOMESTIC I LOVE IT 

this is gonna be cool as hell

oh fuck is she a bloodhunter???

nice, go taako!

“A FOUR LEGGED OCTOPUS IS A HORSE”

so merle is pulling a jesus, fun

hope springs... for like a second

eww :(

NO THEY'RE NOT CLINT

THE CLOAK OF THE MANTA RAY IS FINALLY GETTING USE! :D

how... how does a kraken dance?????

aww poor maggie

magnus is going to fucking die

oh... oh no

WALKING ON WATER ISN'T GOING TO SAVE DAVENPORT'S SHIP MERLE

SAME, DAVENPORT, SAME

i need art of that so bad

god this is so good, i love orla

is that even still attached?

YEEEEEAH :D

gotta love that orla straight up doesn't recognize when six of the seven birds are in front of her

KRAVITZ COME SAVE YOUR BOY

GRIFFIN NO!!! BAD VORE BOY!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

god i fucking love kravitz holy shit

"depends on who you ask" don't ask kravitz then lmao

i love the lil noise as the dice dump out on the table lol

oh snap, dav's gonna kick some ass

holy shit i love davenport, oh my god

GRIFFIN OMG NO

"i am not" omg trav

oh fuck :o

"LET’S GO SAVE MY BOYFRIEND!” AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

good god this is so weird omg

jesus fucking hell

... kravitz ilu you hopelessly gay baby

that was so great!!! i’m so happy we got more adorable taakitz content and some good good davenport interactions! can’t wait for the next amnesty arc next right thursday ^u^

[empressdrega27]

hey question........why is simon blackquill h

Did you die right as you were typing this lmao?

No but for real, I DON’T KNOW

HE’S ACTUALLY REALLY HANDSOME AND SUAVE AND I HAVE NO CLUE WHY CUZ HE’S A HUMONGOUS DORK

LOOK AT THIS DUMBASS I LOVE HIM

Yo watch NicoB’s playthrough of Dual Destinies cuz he does a fuckin MASTERFUL job of voicing Si throughout the whole game and it’s an adventure, also check out the Let’s Dub project on youtube as well for dubs of all the Ace Attorney games~ 

Welcome to Gay Lawyer Hell my dear friend~

[pinksweatergettingbetter]

//siblings bein’ siblings :’)

-

boy theyre really piling on the dick with roger. and yet, it somehow feels kinda forced. not quite as goofy-forced as ‘matt swirl my brandy and show off my scratched eye engarde’ but still... 

he’s so obnoxious that i wanna hold up a hand like “chill, chill, youre the villain, you dont have to try so hard. yeesh.”

-

In spite of everything, it's still (Tr)u(cy)

-

Did Godot also ghost write the gramarye creed?? We didn't need this man 

-

I love that she's "magical girl Trucy"

-

That is a HUGE ASS SWORD. Trucy must be ripped to balance that shit with one hand 

-

(Cries) the judge bravo’d her my heart

And Apollo asks her to be careful I fhfhfhggg 

-

JUDGE! Don't call her a butt!! - Bonny: a fan of mine took some footage of the me in the show. It's kind of creepy but it might help.

Me: ok well it can't be any creepier than the normal show footage which focuses on her quite a bit anyway---

(Footage is shot from backstage)

Me: BODYGUARD. DEMAND A BODYGUARD IN UOUR NEXT CONTRACT.DO NOT PERFORM WITHOUT ONE.

-

"What a waste of time"

I know, sadmad, it is a waste of time hinting And blabbing on when the contradiction is SO PAINFULLY OBVIOUS

-

To this games credit, I actually looked thru the footage to check for the edit and it's actually there. You can see the screen skip ever so slightly. I mean it's a little improbable that Trucy was still in the same position after twirling but that's a neat little detail. Not bad, SOJ, not bad at all.

- (Snerk) sexy pan up shot for mr retinz

- I know everyone loves the 'what's crackalackin homie" line but it stinks of pandering to me

It's like mr grossberg saying his hemerhoids were doing the Harlem shake. But I don't even think they were referencing the meme back then.

Also something about the way they write Nahyuta feels like the equivalent of a foreign character saying "it is-- 'ow you say..."

-

Burger barn sounds like the shittiest restaurant on earth. I wonder if it was the Ramen Ranch in the Japanese version...

-

"It's pretty long so I'll just show you the part with.." OHHH NO. We learned our lesson in dual destinies. We watch ALL the footage, damn it.

-

That must be Trucy! ... Six seconds after she runs in the opposite direction, also shown rising up into the rafters. ‘kay. Sounds legit. Prosecutor sadmad, please call me a moron and threaten more insignificant reincarnations...

-

"It threatens to disrupt the karmic course of this case" You mean it's so bullshit that you're obviously going to lose, right? It's ok, you can just come right out and say it. Nobody will mock you.

-

huh. retinz just called sadmad ‘pretty boy’

gee whiz guess theyre gay for each other now. c’mon fandom work your magic.

-

I'm starting to really not know what the victim’s last rights actually are. could you be a lil more clear on that sadmad

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“My OBJECTION.... is NOT FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT!!!”

but it sure is for mine [snicker]

also gr8 excuse there, roger

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“every industry has its own way of doing things, just as we in the legal profession focus exclusively on evidence and testimony’

really? for some reason i thought you were more interested in The Magic Pool and The Screams of the Condemned.

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i can see theyre trying to write sadmad funny but its just not.... funny???

even with roger’s obnoxious persona i find him funnier. his texting sprite is hilarious. he just looks so fuckin pleased with himself.

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Lang Zi says... Nahyuta needs a different schtick.

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( well this numbskull has a thick skin, so there )

-holds back tears-

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phoenix, drunkenly, from the gallery: DEAD PERSON... PUNISHING SOMEONE THROUGH A SURVIVING FAMILY MEMBER..? APOLLO GEDDOWN THE FUCKIN GHOS’S ARE COMING AAAHHH

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“not bad for a shitty soap opera twist”

yeesh, that was a very sudden bout of self-loathing from the writers.

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poor manov. somehow i feel more sad about his death than the entirety of the victims in DD (apart from Clay that is)

i mean he was just some magician tryna make it big.

-

(sigh) they tried to do the ‘are you high’ joke again and yet they still dont understand what made it funny in the first place.

-

“Strange are the karmic threads before me...”

is that Koorahneese for ‘shit, I'm losing!!’

-

NOW I FEEL EVEN WORSE FOR MANOV

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i love when villains do that thing where it’s obviously fucking them and a jury would haul their ass to jail in 2 seconds but since it’s the bench trial system theyre like :3c I'm not admitting to anything! I just revealed something incriminating and suspicious as fuck but since my name isn’t carved into it you cant punish me~~~

im not being sarcastic either, at this point its just funny 

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apollo: AHH, HOW DID YOU READ MY MIND?!

roger must have assistant’s blood in him; all of them can do it 

-

ohhhh. ohhh. i think. i see how he did it. if so, shit bro; that’s fucked up. but actually a pretty good sneaky murder method, with some pretty good foreshadowing that really stuck in my mind. 

Not bad, SOJ. Not bad at all.

-

‘do you think the audience will let you get away with the twins schtick twice in a row?’

alright writers, your self deprecation is making me a little uncomfortable now.

-

i like picturing manov’s soul sitting on he judge’s head.

“could you hurry it up? I'm tired of listening to butterfly over there banging on about last rights. i just wanna see retinz get his ass kicked.”

-

wait did i completely miss something 

what the fuck is with the random tuna boat joke

did i miss a reference to it before

is it a joke on turnabout: tuna-boat ??

-

hang on. is this a half-case? 

they did this in dual destinies with the two last ones. i guess they can’t fit five full cases into a game after all... for some reason.

-

i was right! well done. thats a well written twist. anyway, most importantly:

IM STILL CRYING OVER MANOV. HE DIDNT DESERVE THIS

-

as much as i appear to like ragging on these games, i really hope the rest of the cases are as good. 

-

sadmad: you f––

writers: [shake heads vigorously and make cut-throat motions]

sadmad: ..! ..uhh... [opens up a thesaurus] dim-witted... ignorant... imbecilic?

writers: [nod and sigh in relief]

sadmad: putrid red pepper. 

-

“just some good old fashioned logic”

oh look at that they just admitted the ‘rethinking the case” mechanic is just an off brand logic rip-off.

-

wow that was the most over-the-top prosecutor breakdown I've ever seen. how did that even work? physically, i mean

maybe the soul butterfly is getting its revenge

-

NOO!!! NOT VALANT!!!

also holy shit that was one helluva hallucination. I'd like to think Magnifi was responsible from beyond the grave for one last feat in dickery. 

-

Trucy’s absolutely right and murder is 99% never justified, but Magnifi is heavily implied to be a bag of dicks. 

-

“Wow trucy, i never knew that being the best could be so tough good for your dating life’

-

“do you think I'm a naive greenhorn?” “No, she's not...”

don't use the ‘smile in spite of everything’ thing, don't use the ‘smile in spite of everything’ thing, don't use the ‘smile in spite of everything’ thing––

Ff fffffuuuuck

god dAMNIT

what is japans obsession with smiling thru shitty times??? its, like, ok to cry when you feel down, you know? its admirable to be strong in times of distress but your worth isn't based solely on how well you can pretend not to feel like shit

why not present that quick-ass thinking she did to get around Bonny’s mistake? THAT is the mark of someone who’s ready to be on stage. somebody who’s ready for any eventuality; that’s the mark of a clever performer. she kept a cool head and let the show go on; thats impressive!!!

get this shoe-horned in shit outta my face.

-

alright alright... theyre trying to have an emotional moment between siblings. ill calm down... for now.

-

Apollo: You’ve really changed Edge––– eh h I mean, Nahyuta.

Nahyuta: fuck you. 

-

trucy: you don't like to talk about your past, do you? because you always change the subject!

apollo: its not so much that i don't like to talk about it as that it’s constantly being rewritte––– 

[shotgun cocking sound from capcom]

apollo: I-ITS PARTY TIME, ITS PARTY TIME, EVERYBODY’S GETTIN DOWN BECAUSE ITS PARTY TIME

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phoenix: you're a full fledged lawyer, apollo

apollo: aww gee thanks

phoenix: do you know the definition of full-fledged, in the bird world

apollo: uh

phoenix: it means they fly the coop. leave the nest. go to a completely different country, shall we say

apollo: ah

phoenix: just putting that out there apropos of nothing.

-

PHOENIX TALK TO YOUR FUCKING DAUGHTER. CHRIST. shit. sigh.

-

apollo is now fucking dead, and living up to the title “Spirit of Justice”