#fuckers are HUGE

[octoberschildrenpodcast]

[dino-pup9051]

Size difference >>>

[his-tamine]

something about a horror beyond your comprehension, except they're surprisingly friendly and gentle with you >>>

the creature underneath your bed or in your closet, coming out to ask you if you're ok after a nightmare, and even possibly comfort you until you're ready to go back to sleep.

the thing in the woods at night cornering you at a dead end, you shitting yourself thinking this is it, only for it to bend down and ask - in somewhat broken & awkward english - if you're lost or need help.

whatever you imagine behind you in the shower while you're washing your face, actually washing your back for you.

imagine your sleep paralysis demon getting along with your pets.

[favroitecrime]

Palestinian freedom fighters breaking out of Gaza and reclaiming their occupied territories. They’ve taken over israeli tanks and have chased out the settlers that were on that land. They’ve launched rockets everywhere and the iron dome has failed to intercept. This is about to mark a momentous event in history.

From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free.

[moeblob]

Capri Sun... I miss you... (it still exists).

[sarahtrumpxx]

[his-tamine]

“Oh, you’re a monsterfucker? Do you consider yourself to be undesirable by human standards and want to find someone who is the same way so you can both choose to love each other anyways? 🤓”

I told you that I want a really really big werewolf to rearrange my guts what are you yapping about

[sneezarify]

People who can’t/won’t stifle. There’s a special place in heaven waiting for u istg <3

[scourgeofmyownbrain]

The Man, the Myth, the Legend, it's Every Version of Soundwave Across the Multiverse! Fucking look at all of them, all 14 of them. It's a Soundwave Height Chart! Yay!

Edit: I didn't like the old scaling I had so I changed it. The old chart is at the end of this post.

Quick Disclaimer, if any of the images look weird, it's because I had to stitch a few separate images together to create a full body shot of the character.

Here are links to my Bumblebee Chart, my Optimus Chart, my Megatron Chart, and my Shockwave Chart. !!NEW!! -> Ratchet & Ironhide. Please go gawk at how many Optimus designs there are, sweet fuck, there are so many. For future reference, all these charts will be filed under my "Transformers Height Charts" tag and my "aka the adventures of a..." tag.

Master Post

Explanations and Sources below the cut, because I have always have words to say.

TFA V1 - 6 feet 5 inches (Animated has no actual numbers, but the lovely @phoenix-inanis has provided a frankly astounding resource with their own calculations for the heights of all the TFA characters. Go look at it, it's wonderful -> https://phoenix-inanis.notion.site/TFA-Height-Chart-f6ad2960ca8c4c5b859ee4958723aaa4?pvs=4.)

Unicron Trilogy Cybertron - ~13 feet (TFWiki, for the uneducated, the Unicron Trilogy has given each of its 3 seasons separate names and 3 separate art styles. This is the design used in Cybertron (S3) though he only shows up in Cybertron. This bitch was so hard to get a full body shot of, he was always standing off to the side or standing behind someone)

Earthspark - ~15 feet (No actual source for ES, but using a barn door to get Bumblebee's height, then Optimus's, then Megatron's height, I was able to make a guess at Soundwave's. Soundwave comes up to about Megatron's chin; the screenshot I found has the two fighting, so it might be a little off, but I'm confident this is pretty close. Also, this might be the shortest of universe to date; I am consistantly finding these iterations to be some of the shortest out of all of them. It may look like the UT has it beat but in S1 everyone is much taller than they are later. No, I don't know why.)

TFA V2 - 17 feet 7 inches (Once again, phoenix-inanis did a fuck ton of work, go look at it, it's wonderful -> https://phoenix-inanis.notion.site/TFA-Height-Chart-f6ad2960ca8c4c5b859ee4958723aaa4?pvs=4)

Gen 1 - ~18 feet (TFWiki. I do not have anything else to say)

Netflix Cybertron Trilogy - ~18 feet (I have no source for this, other than assuming that because this design is identical to Gen 1, they are the same height. It's all I got so it's what I'm using)

Knight/Capel-Verse - ~18 feet (No source, and he never stands next to anyone I can measure him against, but because the TFOne director has said that this movie is both canon to the LA movies and its own separate canon, I am assuming the height I figured out for TFOne applies to this universe as well. Capel directed the ROTB movie if you're wondering why his name is there)

One - ~18 feet (No source, I got this number by comparing him to Shockwave who I compared to Optimus. Now, I am aware of the TFO heights listed on the wiki, but I reject those numbers on principle. A: Those numbers are sourced from the Walmart Promotional AR Experience that came out before the movie. B: There are three decimal points, and that number does not convert into a whole number in meters (which is originally what I thought was weird about it). C: The director has said that this movie is both canon to the LA movies and its own separate canon, so I have elected to use the few given heights we have from KCV and worked from there. My Optimus post has slightly more context if you want it)

Cyberverse - 19 feet 3 inches (This comes from a screenshot of this video which has the Cyberverse height chart everyone uses, though the quality of the screenshot is iffy.)

Bayverse - ~22 feet (Okay, so this is from the wiki, but it comes from a concept design for the second movie that never got used, so I went to find my own number. And in the third movie, I was able to compare Soundwave to Megatron and I got a the same number as the first unused number... Kinda backwards but okay)

Aligned Cont. WF/FOC/TFP/RID15 V1&2 - 26 feet 2 inches (I originally got this number from Fandom, but I can't for the life of me find the page with the info. Fandom has like 6 different pages for the same character, it's so frustrating. Also- Freakishly tall universe there is no reason for them to be this tall)

Not Pictured: Bayverse Satellite Soundwave - I do not know how big he is and I can not compare him to anyone who I do know. I am sorry satellite Soundwave fans, he evades me with his stupid floating in space all alone bullshit.

Edit: Here are the different layers separated

vvv Old scale vvv

[no-see-um-incorrect]

TW Mentions of childhood abuse and scars 

HeadCanon a la cowboy

Sam has deep slash scars on his back from the abuse he endured as a child

Sometimes Darlin tends to think that they’re some form of defeated superhuman in that

They blame themselves for the pain caused by others, even though they had no feasible way of preventing it EDIT: or would have been alive to prevent

Imagine Sam is sitting on the edge of the bed doing something on his phone or whatever

Shirtless (this is important)

And Darlin puts their hands gently on his back and he can feel their magic

He knows what they’re trying to do

Sam: you can’t heal something that’s already been healed, Darlin.

Darlin barely above a whisper: I know, but please let me try

Sam turns around resting crisscross on the bed in front of them

Sam: Darlin. you already healed those wounds…sure the scars may never disappear, but I don’t feel the pain anymore..not since I met you

[theresnotmuchhere]

Local tumblrinas how do we feel about this old, un-used computer in my english teacher's office

[seraphicdemons]

A tale in 5 images.

[spirit-lanterns]

Firefly fucking you into the bed in her mecha form until you get overstimulated❤️ we need more dom firefly thirsts

MECHA SEX MECHA SEX RAAAAAA 😫

Need my back arched like a cat as she fucks me into the bed with the suit on. Those big, metal hands of hers holding onto your stomach as she helps force you down on that vibrating dick of hers with ease 😖😖

Imagine if Sam’s dick has a heating feature…. Oml, warm, winter sex with Firefly as she uses her heating, vibrating dick to warm you up from the inside. Takes the term “cockwarming” to a whole other level…

[his-tamine]

no I can’t swallow a pill.

and no I can’t brush the far back of my tongue.

but am I still confident that I could absolutely take a monster’s giant, perforated, 12-incher with a 19-degree curvature, without gagging? Yeah.

[viascrossiant]

puppy loves being tied up💖

does daddy like their present?

[scourgeofmyownbrain]

Find your helmets everyone, it's every Ratchet across the TF Multiverse! Please watch out for rouge wrenches! My Optimus and Megatron ones really fucked with my expectation for how long these things take...

Quick Disclaimer, if any of the images look weird, it's because I had to stitch a few separate images together to create a full body shot of the character. And Yes, I am aware the TFO ones look stupid, these characters show up in background shots or for like 3 seconds tops. I didn't have anything else.

Here are links to my Bumblebee Chart, my Optimus Chart, my Megatron Chart, my Shockwave Chart, and my Ironhide Chart. For future reference, all these charts will be filed under my "Transformers Height Charts" tag and my "aka the adventures of a..." tag.

Master Post

Explanations and Sources below the cut.

Gen 1 - ~16 feet (TFWiki, I don't have anything to add)

- ~16 feet (No Source, but this design is identical to Gen 1 so who am I to complicate things.)

One V1 - ~16 feet (Pre-cog.*deep breath* Okay, so this movie doesn't have any actual numbers, aside for some bullshit ones from a Walmart Promotional. I've been using the Knightverse Optimus number as a baseline since these were at one point said to be vaugly canon to each other. And the Bumblebee-Optimus scaling is the same. I got this number by comparing Ratchet to Ironhide and Ironhide to Optimus. Idk man, this movie has made me develop a twitch.)

Animated - 16 feet 8 inches (Animated has no actual numbers, but the lovely @phoenix-inanis has provided a frankly astounding resource with their own calculations for the heights of all the TFA characters. Go look at it, it's wonderful -> https://phoenix-inanis.notion.site/TFA-Height-Chart-f6ad2960ca8c4c5b859ee4958723aaa4?pvs=4.)

One V2 - ~18 feet (Post-cog. Again, no numbers, plus I can't actually find a clear picture of this form. My method of "knocking off or adding two feet" has been pretty accurate so far (I got Bumblebee right), so I'm just going to keep doing it. God, my head hurts...)

Bayverse - 20 feet (TFWiki bc Mr. Bay loves me dearly and will give me numbers I am in your debt Michael)

Cyberverse - 20 feet (This comes from a screenshot of this video, which has the Cyberverse height chart everyone uses, though the quality of the screenshot is iffy.)

Aligned Cont. WF/FOC/TFP/RID15 - 24 feet 7 inches (I got this number from Fandom, but I completely believe it, even if they don't list their source. Everyone in this universe is just freakishly tall, for no reason. The more this happens the more pain I feel in my bones.)

Here's the layers separated for ease of viewing.