#fuck. crying again.
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I am not over Gerald calling Shadow son in Shadow Generations. That's his boy, that's his real son boy that he has to say goodbye to. He's so upset he put Shadow in this position from the very beginning, but he loves him and he's so glad to have created him and I fucking CAN'T.
#shadow the hedgehog#gerald robotnik#sonic#sonic the hedgehog#sth#sonic x shadow generations#sonic x shadow generations spoilers#spoilers#Shadow is his real son and part of his family and that's a fact#crying in the club again thinking about Shadow and how unfair everything involving his family is in this game and his history#family dynamics fucking RUIN ME
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a new star
#i been thinkin about the asteroid again#i think about the asteroid a lot more than i think is normal#like just the complete randomness of it and how everything changed in literally the blink of an eye#like the dinoss rules the fucking earth and probably still would if space had just been a little bit different#how long did it take the asteroid to reach us#at what point was the impact inevitable#like these sound like scientific answers but i need you to know these are questions that my soul wants answered in poetry#yes the math is cool but can i talk about what tragedy looks like melted into the earth#how power and pain and mourning but also change and new life and a future were embedded in a layer of iridum that spread around the planet#can we talk about how looking at the layers of the earth is the most physical type of time travel there is#can i please talk about that layer of pain#can i mourn when i see it#or am i just a weird kid crying when i look at rocks#ALSO. was parasaurolophus alive when the asteroid hit? i dont think so#but it's too late#yall get to suffer with me#dinosaurs
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One thing about me is that I am full of deep-seated, caustic shame. Other than that I think I do pretty well. Sucks that it seems to bleeding all over me now tho.
#i've cried like 30 times today for difficult to discern reasons#like i walked outside saw the trees and the nice blue sky and went 'it's a beautiful day' and started crying#pulled it together#got in the door said something to parents and almost cried again when my dog came over#I dunno man#I just don't want the people to know that I don't think I'm actually loved#cus that's like incredibly hurtful#but i do feel that way sometimes and it's been more frequent lately#probably never going to voice this tho becausr i think its some projection of me not thinking i deserve it ig#I'm just tired of this#and I feel like I'm running out of time to be a person before my dad dies#i don't want my joy too late to share it#fuck. crying again.
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pick your battles
#my art#my stuff#art#comic#original art#pride 2024#pride month#trans allegory..... or not even allegory. just trans .... ^_^#i technically cannot come out yet but i don't think the people who i need to not see this stalk my tumblr#i know they stalk everything else like my twitter and my instagram but this might be safe#so fuck it we yap. this is a comic about picking your battles#this is a comic about how for almost a year now everyone at home in singapore has been crying about my sore throat#my terrible fucked up voice. my you know. etc#i came out as not cis and using they/them pronouns in 2015 when i was 14#but no one ever used my pronouns. none of my classmates or friends even up until i left for college in 2020#from 2020 onwards every year i wrote an angry vulnreable essay about how much it hurts that they dont remember#and people would dm me apologizing on their hands and knees and commending my bravery#and then forget about it all over again. id ont mean 'they misgender me and then catch it and apologize and correct themselves'#i mean they dont even get that far#and so you might ask yourself: why have you kept them around all this time?#and i would have to explain that by pure bad luck i grew up in the most conservative close minded community#that all of my ex classmates that stayed in singapore are cishet and upper middle class and chinese singaporean#that i Am the trans person. that they were able to ignore me for a decade partially because there was no one else#so this is a comic about how there is dignity and grace in staying in the closet sometimes#about how not everyone deserves to see you at your happiest. about how some people can go fuck themselves#you know your truth and THATS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS!!! YEAH!!! i love you
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I don’t talk about my love for Kira Nerys too often because. Look. I think if DS9 handles anything well, it’s Kira, hands down.
Her character development is a work of art. She is so traumatised, so angry, so beaten down and STILL FIGHTING at the start. She struggles so much with her PTSD, with the idea that she is ever allowed to be in anything but attack mode…
And then, slowly, gradually, she becomes a whole new person. She laughs, she smiles, she makes corny jokes, she does dumb fun things for the sake of enjoying herself. She has friends, she has a family, she is surrounded by love and joy and HOPE.
Even in the middle of second war, she’s DIFFERENT now. She’s not the same miserable angry person she was, afraid to let go of the vigilant surivival instincts that kept her alive for so long. She’s come back to life as a person who has something to live for.
She has done terrible things. Her hands are stained with blood. She is never going to be able to forget her trauma or the suffering, both her own and that of her people, nor the suffering she inflicted while fighting for her freedom. But she recovers. She heals. She carves out an existence where she is truly, genuinely happy to be alive.
I don’t need to talk about Kira as much as some other characters because this all happens on screen. It’s right there, and it’s beautiful and perfect.
Kira Nerys goes from a person who cannot conceive of herself outside of the horrors she has suffered, inflicted, and fought against, to someone for whom her trauma is just one part of the larger picture, a piece of a rich and vibrant tapestry that is now filled, overwhelmingly, with joy.
Kira Nerys is like, hands down, bar none, one of, if not THE best characters Star Trek has ever created. I love her so much. She is just, completely and utterly perfect, especially in her flaws.
#stella talks#star trek ds9#star trek#kira nerys#.but see I don’t feel compelled to write fics about Kira.#.because I think her writing on the show is already pretty damn close to perfect.#.thanks in no small part to Nana visitor absolutely locking in on exactly who Kira was and should be.#.like she isn’t perfect because she’s flawless.#.she’s super fucking flawed.#.but she’s perfect because she is so flawed and so human and she grows so much and learns to thrive again.#.and god her whole character is just… she’s perfect okay.#.I love her so much I love her I love her I love her I love her.#.like the reason School Live is my favourite manga.#.is because it takes these deeply traumatised kids and then slowly. gradually. shows the#.shows them finding hope and reasons to live and learning to thrive in an absolute nightmare.#.the epilogue made me cry because it showed that they had found ACTUAL HAPPINESS after the hell they endured.#.I am such a sucker for stories about people learning to heal from trauma okay.#.and Kira Nerys is built on a foundation of trauma and she goes and builds a fucking castle on top of it from all the love inside her.#.I can’t emphasise enough how much I love her.#trek meta
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Prompt 297
“I feel like we should be concerned about Tim.”
“Honestly we should always be concerned about him, but what made you realize it this time?”
“Have you seen his search history- wait no you haven’t you haven’t been in the cave all day, look at this-”
“...'Is it legal to adopt the ghost of a kid? Can someone call CPS on a family’s ghost? How to take care of ghosts 101? How do you get a ghost of a child to not be scared? What to do if you find ghost children in your home? What the fuck…?”
“Exactly, I think he needs an intervention.”
Or in other words, after getting thrown into another dimension thanks to the GIW destroying most of Amity, a trio of ghost children decide to crash in this seemingly abandoned apartment building. No one seems to live here anyway… Tim Drake on the other hand, gets a notification that there’s someone in his main safehouse that he might’ve slightly forgotten about thanks to having his house-boat now, and sees a trio of starved looking ghost kids
#DCxDP#DPxDC#Prompts#De aged Danny#De aged Jazz#De aged Dan#Not seen is Ellie also there but in Core form because she’s too unstable to form a body again yet#Tim’s family is concerned for his sanity#Tim calling his co-dependent hero friends like Kon & Bart: How do you get a child- wait no not like that#Bernard is laughing at him on the phone & asking for pics#The ghost kids have no clue they’ve been adopted yet#They’re hella traumatized & just relieved to have found shelter#Might cry in the very comfortable blankets#Tim: Okay how the fuck do I help these literal dead kids without scaring them away#Tim: Someone call Greta I need her help-
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scenes i loved from Real Enough to Get Me Through by @marriedzukka <333 [ids in alt]
#zukka#zukka fanart#sokka#sokka fanart#zuko#zuko fanart#atla#atla fanart#avatar the last airbender#zukka fic rec#myart#yall. yall. dani. this FIC#first off it made me cry twice. not like 'oh im crying' internet speak no. like. eyes are too blurry to read let me stop this for a sec#it is SO GOOD#your prose? amazing#your insights on grief? life changing#THEM??? THEM their relationship and trust#'zuko looked at him and his world shifted on its axis'#ive been thinking about that line for WEEKS STRAIGHT#i can't tell you how many passages i screenshot just because of how beautiful or cute they were#the moment of seeing the painting of sokka's mom? how did you manage to make it so telling character wise--so sweet so PAINful AND so#cute with their relationship?!!?!#'oh so you think i'm beautiful too'#GOD#i had so many scenes i wanted to draw it was crazy#also#'Our loved ones leave impressions on us that can still impact our decisions and feelings even after they're gone'#fuck. had me crying AGAIN#seriously this fic is so wonderful and not just through a zukka lens. truly life changing you're an AMAZING writer#the fandom is so lucky to have you and i can't Believe it took me so long to get around to reading this masterpiece
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The past is so overwhelming
#ethan winters#resident evil#resident evil village#re8#rose winters#I need to replay that fucking DLC#and cry again
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(who are you if not the funnyjokespuns person?)
Siffrin and ISAT: @insertdisc5 Photography: @electrospectrum
#In Stars And Time#ISAT#in stars and time#isat#siffrin cosplay#isat siffrin#in stars and time cosplay#siffrin#in stars and time siffrin#start again: a prologue#Siffrin ISAT#cosplay#phroob cosplays#Oh my fucking god y'all I am SO pleased with this shoot!!#I am obsessed with how good this looks#The symbolism of being sat between two graves??#The big overgrown window?#MY COSPLAY????#I truly cannot believe this is my cosplay#Chase killed this shoot#screaming crying throwing up
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one of the things about being an educator is that you hear what parents want their kids to be able to do a lot. they want their kid to be an astronaut or a ballerina or a politician. they want them to get off that damn phone. be better about socializing. stop spending so much time indoors. learn to control their own temper. to just "fucking listen", which means to be obedient.
one of the things i learned in my pedagogy classes is that it's almost always easier to roleplay how you want someone to act. it's almost always easier to explain why a rule exists, rather than simply setting the rule and demanding adherence.
i want my kids to be kind. i want them to ask me what book they should read next, and i want to read that book with them so we can discuss it. i want my kid to be able to tell me hey that hurt my feelings without worrying i'll punish them. i want my kid to be proud of small things and come running up to me to tell me about them. i want them to say "nah, i get why this rule exists, but i get to hate it" and know that i don't need them to be grateful-for-the-roof-overhead while washing the dishes. i want them to teach me things. i want them to say - this isn't safe. i'm calling my mom and getting out of this. i want them to hear me apologize when i do fuck up; and i want them to want to come home.
the other day a parent was telling me she didn't understand why her kid "just got so angry." this woman had flown off the handle at me.
my dad - traditional catholic that he is - resents my sentiment of "gentle parenting". he says they'll grow up spoiled, horrible, pretentious. granola, he spits.
i am going to be kind to them. i am going to set the example, i think. and whatever they choose become in the meantime - i'm going to love them for it.
#writeblr#i was doing a lot with high school students. over and over again#other teachers kept asking me what i was doing differently - why the kids listened to me. i am not particularly foreboding#and i have a pretty firm personal policy of never reacting in anger#godhelpme.#i was always kind of taken aback#because in general the kids were pretty easy. i explained i needed to keep everything “PG-13” because this was my workplace#and it was kind of their workplace#too. besides#i love swearing#and since i couldn't swear#neither could they - so if they were going to say “fuck” or become violent#they needed to choose a really specific time#because we only get “the one”.. sure enough - nobody wanted to waste the one very specific “fuck” utterance. kids listened.#i think just because - that rule makes sense. the kids understand that i don't want to be unfair to them#that censorship is stupid#but that i'm under these rules too so like let's ride it out together#also i look young and tbh between me and u nobody wants to make the nice english teacher cry#the way these kids defended me to their friends was really genuinely so heartwarming bc the Grouchy Frat Boy#would be like MISS RAQUEL DOESN'T DESERVE THAT KIND OF AN ATTITUDE BRO DON'T TALK BACK TO HER
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i drew this like a month ago and i am TERRIFIED to post anything on here but ive been convinced
#joshua graham#edward sallow#sallowgraham#im so fucking scared to post man i think i might actually cry#fallout new vegas#fallout#fnv#caesar fnv#fucking wild this thing has become my magnum opus.#im miserable#everyday i rethink the actions ive taken that have lead me to the point i am in life now#i feel like this is to blame for most of the bad things that have happened to me in the past few months#my legacy is nikocado sallowgraham#and i dont think i can ever recover from that.#my life is ruined. i am an artist forever haunted by his past.#anyway i still let out a giggle everytime i see someone reblog this again#i take it back i NO LONGER giggle whenever i see someone reblog this.#i hate it. this thing is a MONSTER.
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i need help with vet bills (again).
hi. for those of you who remember, earlier this year i asked for donations to help me afford toos' vet bills, who we found out through your help had kidney failure, and again with your help we got her on medication for it. unfortunately it wasn't enough, and we lost her. and then shortly after, dexter began deteriorating, which we put down to his grief of losing toos - she kept him young, he followed her everywhere, he only played because of her, he only ate when she ate, etc. without her he just stopped. and then he started to have seizures and fits daily. we got him blood tests, but he was suffering so badly. we made the decision to put him down. i didn't ask for donations this time, because i was so deeply embarrassed to ask for help again. but we are still recovering financially from that, as well as the parts of toos bills that didn't get covered from donations. my mother hasn't worked for a very long time, she's disabled and very sick, and she receives PIP from the government that only covers her monthly medications that are not covered by the NHS. my father retired early to become her full time carer, and we are living off his pension. i am too disabled to work, but because my mother already receives PIP and i live with them, the government are resistent to giving me any help - so i have zero income, and rely entirely on my parents.
this is jenny. she's a 14 year old cairn terrier, who loves when we garden because she wants to help dig holes. she helped us bury dexter and toos, digging their graves for them with my dads help. she's an angel, and loves people so much she likes to escape under the fence and join other families for awhile. one time she got into someones back garden and asked to come in as they were eating lunch. she really hates flies, and will try to bite them out of the air (she has never succeeded but i believe she will one day). she will rub her face against you until you start stroking her, and will growl and even bark if you stop! we don't have the money to take jenny to the vets, for a checkup or for anything they may want to do. this has been an ongoing issue, but toos and dexter took priority, and it hasn't been a bother to her. she existed as normal for a long time, but that's since changed.
jenny has this lump in her mouth, it is larger than the picture shows, but she is a nightmare to force open her mouth since this got so big, i think it's uncomfortable or painful for her. she can't properly close her lips now, and it has pushed all her front teeth away, misshaping her mouth, and sometimes it bleeds profusely. eating has become difficult for her, she can't eat anything hard, and currently will only eat soft human foods like rice, scrambled egg chopped up so small she doesn't have to chew, and things like soups and gravy. she's lost a lot of weight, and i'm getting frightened. to add onto it, i've found lumps like this across her body. i've done as much research as i can, and i believe it to be an oral tumor, it fits, and it looks right, and it spreading across her body is called 'full staging'. and going by all i've read - they will want to remove them in surgery. according to my research, this will cost anywhere from £585 - £4,740 for just the lump in her mouth. that's not including any checkup/test costs, or the other lumps on her body.
she hasn't been to the vet yet, i don't have any secure goal or bills to share, just my assumptions and beliefs from researching myself online. my parents refuse to take her because we can't afford it. i want to save up money, have it in my bank, and show them that we can help her now, before it gets worse, or it's too late. as i said before, i don't have any income, so the only way i can do this is with help.
here's a link to my paypal.me
the icon is a little mouse, and the @ is rivellon
i struggled so badly posting the first post like this for toos. i felt so guilty and embarrassed and ashamed. but i have no choice again, i want to help jenny. i don't want her to suffer. and selfishly, i can't handle losing another dog so soon. this year has been waking nightmare, and i need your help to stop it getting even worse.
please reblog and share, even if you can't donate.
thank you for reading.
#animal illness#animal sickness#pet illness#pet sickness#vet bills#vet help#i don't really know what to tag this as. i don't remember what i did before#and i don't want to go look for my toos post because it will hurt so bad to see it i think#im on hiatus because i cant deal with this and be here right now. but im gonna queue/schedule this a bit i think#im sorry for asking for help again. but please consider helping jenny. she's so lovely#and she's keeping me alive right now#losing toos and dexter ripped me to shreds and shes the only reason i havent completely broken down#i am absolutely terrified of what will happen if we lose her too#god i feel so fucking guilty. i can't stop fucking crying. i hate this so much#im so sorry guys. please reblog and consider donating even a tiny amount#tiny amounts add up yknow#anyway . i should post this now instead of hiding in the tags
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The pishacha are manifestations of evil itself, locked within a cursed amulet. The wearer of the amulet is at the mercy of the demon, known for possessing humans and feeding off their host's chakra energy. However, if symbiosis is achieved, the pishacha can grant its host a myriad of powerful abilities.
I just needed to draw something cool okay. I needed to draw some cool goop and some cool looks okay. okay. if I didn't post this I would have exploded okay
#IT'S VENOM BAYBEE#i can't confirm nor deny if pavitr ever ends up wearing the symbiote- sorry. the demon#i honestly just wanted to get something out lmao#it's eating me up from the inside (the au and the symbiote)#honestly there's a lot of white but fuck it. my boy needs to look good.#the dhoti reminds me of gwenom tbh. you know what i'm talking about. that pink bit in her 'fit#anyway i TOLD YOU the mythology was coming in like a boss >:)#sure i'm tweaking stuff here and there. but mwahaha.... boy does it feel good when mythology actually gets what i'm trying to go for#and spits something out for me to use :D#(crying for hours on end trying to figure out how the black goop does its thing)#anyway nearly 12am. this time i will tag my shit correctly 😤 we will not have a thompson/travasso incident again#pavitr prabhakar#spider man india#spiderman india#venom symbiote#venom#spider man fanart#mythic mumbattan au#myart#artoftheagni
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Consider this an amuse-bouche.
#interview with the vampire#iwtv#armand#louis de pointe du lac#claudia#santiago#the vampire armand#season 2#video#SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP LOSING MY FUCKING MIND#my stuff#not really but i wanna be able to find this again
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i would like to say a very big fuck u to belift, overworking enha to the max and making the members feel sorry when they dont feel their best to be able to perform. you say you care about your artist's health but do you really? and the fact that they have more fate+ shows and kcon AFTER this upcoming cb is beyond me. DO BETTER BELIFT
#nic thinks ⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆#it broke my heart seeing jay cry today bc he couldnt perform his best#like its okay jay YOU NEED TO PUT UR HEALTH FIRST#and the boys filming their concept film until sunrise 3 days straight???#like im very happy i was able to see enha again but fate plus shouldve never been a thing#or they shouldve at least stopped touring after the american encore or smth#OR STOPPED AT THE SEOUL FINALE#belift u fucking suck#jay plsplspls rest and take care of urself#enhypen
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Rip Charles Rowland we will never get to see you make Edwin a flustered mess.
Rip Charles Rowland we will never get to see you become a flustered mess yourself when you try making Edwin become a flustered mess.
Rip Edwin Payne we will never get to see you flirting back when you are more comfortable with your sexuality now and turning Charles into a flustered mess back.
Rip Charles Rowland we will never get to see you exploring your sexuality and realising you love Edwin.
Rip payneland we will never get to see you getting together.
Rip Crystal Palace we will never know how you will react to the two old-people-love-sick-teenagers Edwin and Charles.
#don't talk with me I'm grieving#i am actually crying#i went to sleep and then a burst of a sudden sadness attacked me again#i thought about all of these during my sleep#fuck i just can't#fuck netflix#dead boy detectives#charles rowland#edwin payne#the dead boy detectives#dead gay detectives#charles dead boy detectives#edwin and charles#charles x edwin#painland#edwin dead boy detectives#edwin x charles#charles and edwin#fuck I'm crying again#i fucking LOATHE netflix what the actual fuck
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