#fuck you pal honestly
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This just filled me with such rage. Like 2011??!! 2011?
Anyone who wasn’t English was just an uncouth, uncultured munter apparently. The people were more ‘shaggy looking’? what do you even base that on? What research has resulted in that conclusion?
And then “Celtic peoples”, “Celtic neighbours”, as if that makes those three countries uniform and inherently the same
#fuck you pal honestly#both of my parents are Scottish so I am biased#but even so id say this is… Not Great#however you spin it#genuinely floored this is such a late publishing date for that kinda perspective#but it comes up a lot not just for#ordinary people but see also#Henry VII#also brings up the question of the ‘Celticness’ of England#would how much it theoretically is or isn’t even be consistent?#the Anglo-Saxon separatism and exceptionalism is tiring and I want it obliterated#how do you classify these things. what do those terms even really mean#English history#Scottish history#Welsh history#Irish history#history#medieval#early modern#Scotland#Ireland#Wales#england
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How about instead of going after 'Arson! Frog/frogself✨🌺🌈' you take a look in the mirror and realize that crucifying other queer people you don't personally understand is an actual issue
#yeah random rant yeah#neurodivergent trans bunnyhat kids are literally just minding their business like fuck off#'oh it's cringe' you know what's cringe pal? you going out of your way to attack fellow queer people.#pick me behavior#like that's all it is. get over yourself#lgbtq#queer#neopronouns#xenogender#I would tag this with things that will get it on the dashes of the people I'm referring to here#but honestly I'd rather not get some random teenager who's 'one of the good queers' on my blog thanks#'queer' and 'lgbtq' are both tags that are broad enough tbh
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while i'm thinking about vee meeting luz in the future, which like... i'm not sure When it would happen bc neither of them wants to go into the other's realm for A While at least, but like.
oh my god. the Tragic Fucking Hilarity of vee being like "okay, i'll put up with the princess, i don't have to Like her but i can at least be civil, she's camila's daughter and camila would never let her hurt me and maybe there is some good in her, it's not like i ever met her face-to-face so i wouldn't know"
and then vee seeing HUNTER & being like "okay! mom. you know how i spent about two straight years trying to figure out what was secretly wrong with you, because no one can possibly be as genuinely good as you are???? WELL. WE HAVE FINALLY UNCOVERED-"
#vee: LUZ IS ON THIN ICE. HIM I'M KILLING. YOU DIDNT EVEN GIVE BIRTH TO HIM!!!!#although vee and hunter would work it out eventually. and i think hunter would be like. honestly yeah fair.#i'll go Somewhere That Isn't In The Room With You. sorry#while luz is like. jesus Fucking christ. if he's actually apologizing to you then it must have been like. SPECIAL levels of horrific#terrible. and deeply compelling. much 2 consider.#toh#princess luz au#vee noceda#camila noceda#hunter toh#horrible mindscape trauma pals
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Archive 81 tv show made Melody Pendras straight we cannot trust podcasts in the hands of mainstream media !!!!!!!
#archive 81#I have mixed feelings about it and as soon as they introduced Gal Pal Annabelle to replace Actual Girlfriend Alexa it should have been a#red flag#conceptually I really liked what they did to flesh out the first season#but they took it in a completely different direction by the end and at that point it’s not even the same thing anymore 🙄#like you can’t even pick up anything from the original’s season 2 because they reconstructed the narrative so much#idk man its not like they’re going to make any more of it anyways but I still felt the need to come on here and bitch#honestly main stream adaptations of podcasts scare me like I revel in exposure for things I like but ultimately so much gets lost in#translation#like archive 81 podcast is weird and nonsensical at times and Tape Recorder Man’s adventures in the Upside Down just don’t translate to a#general audience ? so they gotta bring in reasons for it to make sense like satanism and witches and demons#when that was sooooooo not the point of the original#like seeing how much they had to adjust to appeal to an outside audience makes me almost glad the wtnv tv show didn’t get green lit#can you imagine ???? how the fuck would they get five headed dragon Hiram McDaniel on my actual television ????#standing next to a Cecil Palmer with a canon appearance no less#like adaptations are cool and they CAN work sometimes but if you’re going to have to break and bend the world in order to make it to the#point where it’s a new thing entirely#ESPECIALLY since we live in a world where audio drama is not respected as a creative medium#at that point I’m just like leave it alone it’s fine on it’s own#anyways archive 81 is an interesting experiment into what live action podcast adaptations COULD look like but you can pry lesbian Melody#Pendras from my cold dead hands and that makes the adaptation automatically inferior imo#I guess she could be bi but when you remove Canon Girlfriend and instead make her kiss a man ? not likely#I am just talking to hear myself talk now goodbye#max rambles in the tags
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started playing y.akuza 6 and man... dragon engine mako is so pretty 👉🏽👈🏽
#k.iryu honestly pisses me off really often and I'm mad at him rn- but not this guy! thanks d.ate for being the only y.akuza character that#isn't a fucking idiot-#ash rambles 💚#hehe he looks so pretty.. and earlier we got to see him in Serious Detective Mode and i had a 😳😳😳 moment#I'm so used to Pathetic Divorced Dad that I forget he's actually Legendary Detective and Cop Legend#my partner in (not) crime 🔍#it is my biggest fear that my y.akuza pals see me as The K.iryu Mutual#no... no i am the M.akoto D.ate mutual...#though i did burst out laughing when K.iryu made that comment about how D.ate raised his daughter by himself...#are we forgetting her going on about how her dad fucking sucks- It took him a very long time to actually be a good dad to her#anyways#I'm so glad to see him again!#other than that.. uh... not much on my end#it's been a weird ass week#had a lot on my mind#AND A LOT OF Y.AKUZA-#ahem#anyways yeah I'm kissing that detective 👍🏽#you know how he married the bartender?#yeah that's actually a lie#he marries his fellow detective ms ash
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Yay!!! Cong Zheng!!!
also a bonus!!!
#honestly i didn't plan to post this cus this is outside of ghost and pals content but you know what fuck it all hail cong zheng my beloved#synthv#synthesizer v#cong zheng#cong#zheng#cong zheng synthv
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Hey so uh.
I dont think voting is the only solution. Nor will it necessarily get us what we want immediately. And i think protest is more important and more effective.
However.
Conservatives. Would. Not. Be. Trying. To. Make. Voting. Impossible. And. Taking away. Actual voting places from marginalized areas. .
If it meant ABSOLUTELY nothing.
Hope that helps.
✌️
#if it makes me a lib to just even ACKNOWLEDGE that fact. then i think ur probably an entirely irrational person.#very. very sorry for wanting to do everything i can. very sorry.#its almost like... you can protest...... and also.... vote.........#its almost like voting in of itself at this point is kinda a protest since theres places w voting booths being removed or people who have#to drive miles just to vote. like. i kinda think it means somethin here pal.#like. republicans dont want us to vote. it benefits them when we dont. it also benefits them when you're riddled with nihilistic apathy.#u probably feel so defeated that u probably dont even think debate matters or means anything at all#whatever. im bored of you and your personality.#its this type of nihilistic thinking that leads to accelerationism. you think fuck it. lets just let the republicans win. show the world#how bad they are. thinking that will make people finally stand up. but the problem is people are cowards. and they wont. and i dont think#its worth taking the chance on and rolling the dice on when the outcome of letting republicans win is very likely to be genocide.#and i really really dont think being smug and all 'i told you so' to libs is worth it enough for vast amounts of people. people you#probably care about. being killed in swathes. i really really dont think letting things get Worse on Purpose is a great idea#and it honestly makes you look like an evangelical republican who thinkis climate change is a smite from god.#bc functionally you're doing the fucking same thing. instead though you're pretending its a smite from you.#i kinda firmly believe that accelerationism is a intellectual bystanders excuse for not doing shit. like genuinely just sitting there#watching ppl suffer to prove a point. gtfoh
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Ahh life’s getting to you right now Roo? I know the feeling, just gotta keep powering through it you know? I hope the stars align for you and everything falls into place. You can do it!🫶🏼
And double update! For lil ol’ me? Awe way to make a girl feel special. Hearing that just started off my day looking great. Hopefully it continues that way! I look forward to seeing how your story will unfold! 😊
Now I gotta finish getting ready for work. I hope you have a lovely day today Roo!
xoxo - Lumi<3
haha, it's been a fun old 2024 so far, but i'm nearly back on my feet. it's just taken me the last two months to escape a abusive and exploitative job with a boss that had complete control over my life, who still to this day can't understand why i left or how difficult he's made my life by not paying my wages lmfao. kpop fans think they're delusional but they have nothing on this dude. he also kicked me out of staff housing knowing i had nowhere to go, but i've been lucky that my new job introduced me to another girl who let me have her spare room. in a way the stars have already aligned and i'm nearly back writing at the same pace i was before the whole thing imploded but like. christ on a candlestick. when i said i need a rich kpop boyfriend to pay my rent i didn't mean because i live on someone's floor.
anyway my career and ability to make money have been on my mind now that i have the ability to budget again, so you really did prove i can make money from writing just at the critical moment. signs from god. i'm telling you.
#honestly i love telling this story it's the craziest shit#also my new job has immediately started fucking me around which is a whole new installment in this saga bu#but that's fine i can literally walk next door and probably make more money#'we pay above award wage' pal it turns out you don't even pay industry standard#god what a story#my final wage from february also still hasn't been paid#i'm going to have fun reporting him to the government soon#someone told me they might even make him repay all two years of my wages because he has no payslips to prove he paid me#anyway it's midnight and i've been stewing on my plan of action tomorrow#that's why i'm rambling#i'm lying here awake thinking about how to make money
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when do yall think sawashiro found out akane was alive . just wonderin .
#snap chats#WAS THIS A RECENT DEVELOPMENT OR EARLIER CAUSE IF IT WAS EARLIER OHHHHH MY GODDDDD#i just might throw up at the potential of sawashiro knowing akane was alive while arakawa was still alive#ouuuuugggghhhh demons BACK /BACK/ I SAY JUST WAIT TWO MONTHS#if this motherfucker confirms he knew while arakawa was still kicking im gonna scream and piss myself#im getting evil ideas and i need to be STOPPED#when did they let his ass out of jail... did he get nosy once he got out or something..#honestly i was thinking about it this morning because i was laughing at how mine and sawa both did 'research' on their bosses#mine was mentally ill about it jo just wanted to be with his son and was just findin shit out but NOW. how far did the rabbit hole go...#inevitably he wouldve learned about akane one point or another whether because arakawa told him the story or he discovered her#but when did he Discover Her yk. when did yall start being pen pals SHE ADDRESS YOU AS 'MR JO SAWASHIRO'#i still think thats cute. sorry. moving on POINT IS NOW /IM/ NOSY#january 26th cant get here any sooner#also can i just say i think i tricked myself into thinking the game was coming out the 24th like when the fuck did that happen#HOW the fuck did that happen... lol... anyway...#im gonna go now and try to ward the demons off bye#also should i make katsu curry today.... its the last of my curry and there really is no reason why i shouldnt other than im lazy#hmmm........... chicekn.....
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Hehe
#Yakuza liveplay#kiryu literally always gets what he wants though like honestly he kicks up such a big fuss about battle#but whenever anything happens hes already rolling up his sleeves and salivating and wagging his tail like#'i really didnt want to do this...' like my god just say you want to wrestle you friends its not that weird#thats why he likes majima so much its because she attacks him regardless of what he says to her shes always giving him what he wants#whats with the 'not even you' does he have something against akiyama that makes him more precious than the rest of his pals#wait actually i take it back its not weird to want to homoerotically wrestle with your friends but what kiryu wants is a no holds barred#fight like honestly i think growing up he was constantly at nishikis throat if he wasnt going off doing his own thing#disappears halfway through the school day and comes back covered in scrapes and bruises and requests a battle from nishiki#and hes like wuh okay yeah sure then kiryu beats the fuck out of him and hes like okay lets go home#im making this sound so one sided its because back when kiryu was a girl nishiki would just let him hit him because hes a feminist#but it turns out his brother is not a girl so he was like yuss i get to defend myself now
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oh my g
youre getting *really* good at this, aren't you? you're just watching me unravel like a kitten plays with a ball of yarn. you know, don't you? i bet i've been found out and you're just prolonging the chase to make me just suffer under your sneakily keen attention to detail.
i can't say i dont like it. im so flustered right now you dont even know.
(detective dirk pony pals LARP session is so real.)
— shy anon
Who knows? ;) the only way you can verify whether that is or is not what I’m doing is by coming out yourself.
Also, new bullet points:
Uses analogies
Many forms of emphasis, commonly asterisks but also occasionally putting words in uppercase or italics
#dirk.man#shy anon#I think I have a pretty good guess as to your identity#but honestly I’m also a bit anxious to say anything to the blog which I think you run because if I’m wrong#that’d be exceedingly embarrassing#also fuck yeah Pony Pals!! I used to love those books kek
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imagining spite talking to other spirits like 'yeah well pal the grass ain't always greener on the other side of the fence let me tell you. we all want to join the mortal world and see what all the fuss of existence is about when we're young, right. you'd think I hit the jackpot, living the dream, living the high life, living rent free in a mortal's soul, but guess what? they hardly ever use their bodies or minds for anything FUN I'm not even allowed to swing from the big glowing thing back home or add more hands or fly to pieces or be on fire even though curiosity is allowed to do that by HIS human, or anything, and if you don't want them to fall apart and be sort of sad and crumpled all the time you have to just let their body lie there and recharge for seven hours every night while you twiddle your thumbs and wait for them to come back from your home town where you can't even go anymore. they take a lot of taking care of, your average human, because they sure as fuck won't do it themselves, it's an awful lot of responsibility and you can't turn your back on them for a moment or they're out there doing shit they don't want to do and telling you they have to even though they clearly don't. the whole thing isn't all it's cracked up to be, honestly, I'm fighting for my damn life out here. what. no you can't have lucanis instead he's mine obviously fuck off
#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#spite#lucanis dellamorte#just as much as or even more so than lucanis is having a demon problem spite is having a lucanis problem the series that keeps giving
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Konïg discovering his size kink
Summary: Konïg discovers how much he likes how big he is compared to you
Warnings: Guess what! Smut. It's just smut. Size kink (duh), Doggy, Google translate German (I'm sorry 😭), Konïg being a bit of a himbo, afab reader, there is one time at the end reader is referred to as a girl in German, but honestly there's no other mention of readers gender so I hope the nonbinary pals will also be able to enjoy :D, let me know if I've missed anything
Notes: Reader is written as smaller than Konïg but he's so huge that anyone of any size can enjoy this!
The way I'm always so ready to talk about size kink
Especially with Konïg omg!!!
6'10 giant he really is my King
Anyway
I think Konïg's size kink didn't actually manifest until you
Sure he's not blind, he knows how he towers over everyone else
But it's like, it was never a part of his sex life till he was having sex with you
Like it just never occurred to him
But then, with you, it suddenly all made sense
He had you in doggy, fucking you on his thick cock in deep, steady thrusts
In this position he'd a chance to really observe how much bigger he was than you
Normally, when you two fucked, he'd be so entranced watching your beautiful face he'd have no interest looking anywhere else
Oh but now.. now he could see
How the plush skin of you hips spilled between his big hands, how they were fully enveloped by them
How he could so easily pull you back and forth, spearing you on his cock like you were nothing more than a fleshlight
A low grunt caught in his throat, dick twitching as the realisation of oh, he liked how much bigger he was than you
He liked it very much
Konïg leaned over you, pulling you further into his lap as he squished his whole body around you
He's so all-consuming, every sense is filled with him and him alone
He moans open-mothed in your ear, and licks up your neck
"Scheiße, ich hatte nicht... nicht gemerkt, wie sehr ich deine Kleinheit mag, Schatzi. Do you like it too? Ja..ja.. das wette ich, ja.." (Fuck, I did not.. not realise, how much I liked your littleness, honey.. I bet you do..)
After you and he cum, he finally notices how hard your poor litle muschi tries to keep all his cum inside, but it just can't help to let some leak out and dribble down your thighs
Makes sure to give it a little soothing thankyou kiss
Takes a moment to tell your pussy how proud of it he is, taking such a big cock in such a little hole, such a trooper
Cuz like, I know his dick is big!!! I know it!!!!!
It's proportional, shall we say 😭 your cunny working overtime so Konïg makes sure to show his appreciation to it
"Mein Gott, ich weiß nicht wie du das machst, work so hard for me, all of your strength goes into fitting my dick inside you, ja? Ja.. because you're so little, my tiny, tiny mädchen.." (My god, I don't know how you do it)
#smut#cod mw2#cod smut#mw2 smut#konig mw2#konig call of duty#konig smut#konig x reader#koniiiggggg my baby
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fun friend activity: go to a secondhand bookshop with a small group of friends (4 is perfect imo). each person buys an autobiography for someone else in the group. ideally you want something they would not buy for themselves in a million years but not something they'll completely loathe. try to keep it secret from the whole group until you exchange gifts (it's rly fun trying to hide an absolute brick of a book), then set a date for a book review evening where everyone has to do a presentation on their awful autobiography
#this is what I did on the last day of my holiday w my pals and honestly it was a highlight of the trip#i had a fucking magnificent weekend#worth getting tonsillitis for it#the best purchase was Bill Clinton's My Life#the guy who got it is p interested in american politics so he wasnt too upset when he heard thats what he had#when he saw it was 970 pages however#less chirpy#i found a signed copy of Craig Revel Horwood's autobiography for £1 and i was so pleased w myself#my housemate was delighted to get that#im reading mine now and genuinely already picking things out for presentation night#you want something from a z list celeb rather than say tr*mps autobiography#it should be funny-awful not upsetting-awful
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Magic
Moon Boys x reader<3
summary: you were married to Jake and after the events of moonknight, the boys get to know of jake and of you. Steven adores you but Marc just sees you as a friend. Right?
A/N: okay the timeline is a bit wonky but here's what i thought while writing the fic. Jake dated you for a year and a half before putting a ring on it. And you've been married for three years. You met Steven and Marc a year ago and have been dating Steven for eight months. Marc became friends with you a month after meeting you. please comment and reblog if you liked it!
Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort
@jake-g-lockley
Marc was a lot of things. Pig-headed, stubborn, horrible at communication, a fighter. But he wasn't arrogant He could admit it when he didn't know something.
But right now he knew one thing and one thing only, that Jake was a prime idiot.
Marc stayed in the background when Jake was fronting around you, most of the time. Not always, of course. He wasn't a perv and one to to intrude between a husband and a wife. But he knew you. So did Steven, and you knew them.
He'd considered you his friend. Maybe one of his best, just months after meeting you. You and him shared many a night after Jake's missions talking and watching movies, when your husband was knocked out. You made him fall in love with chai, something that knocked Steven's socks off and he'd taught you the basics of baseball so you weren't clueless when you watched baseball with him.
It wasn't always so nice.
"You're married?!"
"Yeah, what's your problem with that?" Jake had become defensive, he wouldn't let Marc or Steven breathe a single ill word towards you.
"No, it's no problem at all, pal." Marc seethed, outraged, "except for the fact that I was married to Layla! God what if she almost say you when we were married? No wonder it ended!"
"Fuck off, man. You know full well why your marriage didn't work out with Layla. And unlike her, I told my lady fucking everything. She knows everything, from the cave to the sarcophagus. So she knew what to do and what to be careful of, including you. So don't blame my marriage for the reason yours didn't work out."
This was when Steven had interjected, he was unsurprisingly on Jake's side.
"He's right, Marc. If his wife knows everything then you can't blame him, and it's honestly rather mean and unfair of you to be angry at someone you haven't even met."
It took a few hours for Marc to calm down, and actually, apologise to Jake.
Hesitantly, Jake offered, "Y'know, if you want you can meet her. She practically knows everything about you and uh, Steven's most probably seen her around. She goes to the museum every week."
"Wait a minute! That lady with the Van Gogh tote bag?"
"Yup."
"Oh wow! She's really sweet, and beautiful! Hell, mate. You scored."
Jake had to smile at that, he knew he scored with you. For the longest time he felt like you were too good for him and that someone as kind, clever, intelligent and beautiful as you shouldn't have had to settle for someone like him. But you'd kiss away every ill thought he had about himself and reassure him. Communication was a very, very vital and important part of the relationship and you had helped him learn that it wasn't selfish to voice his thoughts. Especially because he put everyone's needs before his for so long.
"I know, man."
Steven had readily agreed to front and meet you, and Marc was okay with being co-conscious during the interaction as well. So on one fine day, Jake had brought them to the house he considered his home. He worked to contribute to it's rent, and buy things for it and for you. It was home, after all. You were his home.
Marc didn't know what to expect but when Jake had stepped in and hung his jacket on the stand and taken his shoes off, footsteps could be heard running from the main bedroom and he saw you running straight into Jake's arms. Jake laughed wildly, picking you up and twirling you around, much to your delight as you kissed the life out of him.
When he put you down, he could get a clear glimpse of you. Your hair was messy and your t-shirt was rumpled. And when he saw you smile he knew why Jake had fallen in love with you. Why Steven thought you were beautiful and sweet. Verything about you screamed, home.
Your greeting to Jake threw both the boys off, "Who the fuck are you?"
Jake smirked, "The fuck you mean, ma?"
"I mean, who." you poked him once, "are." twice, "you?" thrice and Jake started giggling. Fucking giggling like some little schoolgirl. You laughed too, and hugged him tight.
"Hey, baby." he kissed your forehead and you smiled.
"Hi." you kissed his nose.
"I have two guys who'd like to meet you."he raised his eyebrows.
Your jaw dropped a little, "For real? Wait, you're being serious, you're not screwing with me?"
"Why would I screw with you, when I could just screw you?"
The men in his head and you all let out a simultaneous groan.
Steven met you first, and it went swell, you'd both bonded over history and literature. And a love for Taylor Swift. But that was a secret. You liked him a lot and he positively adored you.
Marc, on the other hand, was much more closed off, he'd be polite, but he'd be curt as well. A combination you didn't know was possible.
After a few weeks of trying to bond with him, resulting in almost a small meltdown. It had taken Jake being knocked out after a mission and being too tired to eat to actually get him to talk to you over a meal.
It was one of the best things he'd eaten in his goddamn life and the groan he'd let out after the first bite brought a laugh out of you.
So yes, Marc would consider you one of his best friends. Steven and you had started going out with each other a few months ago and it was going so well.
But not Marc.
Because he didn't like you like that.
Of course not, you were his friend.
You were his friend who made him laugh because you had the same dark sense of humour. You hugged him when he needed one but was too uptight to ask you. You, who googled the Cubs and learnt everything you could about them just so you could talk to him as well, the way you talked to Steven about Jane Austen and the Indus Valley.
He didn't know when it became something more to him.
And he didn't see how you'd look him at him when he laughed, or when he was focused on the TV, or when he made you tea the way you liked it, Jake had taught him how to do that.
No, to him, you were just his best friend.
And you were currently crying your eyes out because Jake and you had gotten into a huge fight. He'd missed your anniversary because of a mission and he was working with Hathor's avatar. He failed to mention the part where he was forced to pretend they were a thing to prevent being caught and you'd caught him smelling of her perfume and gotten rightfully furious.
Not because of her, but because he didn't tell you that it had been happening for a few days. That the week he'd spent away from you, he'd had to pretend he was someone else's and he was too scared to tell you. That's why you were mad, because you thought he didn't trust you.
You'd raised your voice as he turned his back on you and he turned around, face contorted in rage. Steven tried calming him down as he stalked over to you. You stood your ground, Jake would never lay a hand on you. You knew that. But it was what he said, that broke you.
"You're being a fucking nuisance. Instead of trying to understand, you're being more of a burden by finding shit to get mad at. Grow the fuck up."
That prime ass had the audacity to call you a burden. A nuisance.
And then he had the fucking nerve to leave and complete his mission and give control to Marc. Steven had chewed the fuck out of him and Marc would have loved to as well, but he needed to see you. See if you were okay.
As soon as he stepped in, he saw you on the sofa, rapidly wiping your tears away. You sagged again when you knew it was him. Somehow you always knew.
He furrowed his eyebrows at your disheveled state. Your eyes were swollen and wet with tears and you were breathing very heavily and in quick spurts.
"What do you need?" Marc asked you, sitting down beside you.
"C-can I have" you coughed, "a hug, Marc?" you said in a small voice, looking away.
Marc immediately moved to hug you close. Shushing you when you began to cry again.
What hurt was that he knew, and Jake knew, and Steven knew that you hated being a burden or an inconvenience to anyone. And today, the one man you trusted the most in this world had made you feel like that. And he couldn't even apologize.
'Jake you fucking idiot.' he rocked you a little, 'you better come out and fix this. she may be our friend but this is because of you, fix this.'
Jake remained silent in the reflection of the mirror next to the door. He looked wrecked at seeing you sob, and tears were falling down his own eyes.
'Mate.' Steven spoke up, he sounded mad, 'You made our girl cry. Stop being a fucking coward and fix this!'
When he was met with silence, Steven seethed, 'Marc, gimme the body.'
You knew exactly when it was Steven hugging you, and you kissed his cheek and breathed him in.
"Oh, love." he tried to comfort you, "I'm sorry. You're not a burden, I promise you." he kissed your forehead.
"I know that, Steven. I know I'm not a burden to you. I'm scared I'm becoming one to him. He doesn't even want to look at me!" you sniffed.
Steven glared at Jake in the mirror, who was wiping away his own tears.
Steven and Marc knew why Jake was so worked up. They knew that whoever Jake and Hathor's avatar was after called their bluff. They knew that those people had found the woman's partner and Jake was terrified for you and he couldn't even tell you because he never, ever wanted to be the reason for any feeling you had that wasn't bliss, happiness, content, or pleasure. And because he was sure he could find those assholes and beat the living shit out of them for even thinking of harming you.
But it wasn't their place to tell you, that much was apparent. Jake dug his grave, and then jumped into it. He had to crawl out of it on his own now.
"I just want to be someone he's happy to be with." you whisper and that's when Jake straightened up, heartbroken.
"Give me the body, hermano."
"All yours."
Only Jake scrunched the back of your shirts when he hugged you and you moved to hug him tightly as he whispered apologies in your ear.
"Baby, I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry I made you feel like you were a burden and that I was anything but fucking delighted to be with you." he kissed your nose and then told you everything. Looking away because he was scared.
"I didn't tell you at first because I didn't want to just say that I had to pretend I was dating someone else and then fuck off for a week. I made a mistake in assuming that'd you get mad and it's because if I was in your place, I would be. But you're stronger than me, tesoro, and I failed to see that and I'm so sorry."
"Baby, I forgive you." you replied and he breathed out a sigh of relief, "But please, don't keep stuff like this in, okay? You can trust me, you know that."
He nodded fiercely and then he kissed you. Noses nudging and lips parting as he breathed you in like you were his lifeline, and he yours. He cupped your face and held you tight against him and when he pulled away you smiled at him, your eyes shining.
Steven fronted again with a little smile and you kissed him lovingly with a whispered 'i love you'. He just winked at you and kissed the back of your hand and then your forehead again before Jake took back control and carried you to the bed, kissing you deeply all the way.
----
Marc was fine, no he just needed a glass of water. He'd carefully rolled off the bed, thankful that he was at least wearing sweatpants and padded to the kitchen.
He should have known that you were a light sleeper.
"Marc." you began, your voice raspy.
He hummed in reply and held out his glass to you. You accepted it and drank your fill, giving it back to him.
After a few more moments of silence, you spoke up, "I thanked Steven for comforting me. But I didn't thank you." you cleared your throat, "Thank you, Marc." you said, sincerely, "You're one of my best friends."
Marc smiled at you. Actually smiled. And you smiled back and kept going, "And Jake and Steven know this and are okay with it so I-"
"You don't have to thank me, honey." he patted your shoulder, trying to conceal his tears as he looked away because god he was dumb. Dumb enough to realize now, that he loved you, "I'm glad I'm your friend."
To him, you were everything. You were sunrays and moonbeams and everything that he believed was magical as a boy. Everything he stopped believing in as he grew up. The first time you made him laugh and joined him he felt sure that magic existed after all, because what else could you be?
He tried walking past you but you held his hand and he froze, tears streaming down his cheeks.
You walked over to him and held his face in your hands. His eyes shut as you wipe away his tears. And he whimpered as you kissed his forehead.
"Marc. Open your eyes and look at me." you said softly.
He was terrified. That you'd seen past his mask and were going to let him down gently. Because to you, what could he be? Certainly nothing more than a friend.
"Sweetheart. Please."
When his eyes finally opened, they met yours.
"Marc. I fucking love you." you confessed and he let out a sob. Pulling you into a tight hug.
"I love you. God I love you so much, Sweetheart." he says into your hair, kissing all over your face, but not your lips.
"Can I kiss you?" you asked him, looking at him with those beautiful eyes of yours.
He nods and your hands travel to his locks and pull them lightly as you bring your lips to his own. Humming sweetly as he wraps his arm around you and licks into you.
Yes, he reasons yet again as you hold his face in your hands and smile at him, magic does exist. And it's in his arms. He loves it and so do the men in his head who cheer for him, albeit sleepily, looking at you lovingly.
And they'd never let you go.
#jake lockley x reader#steven grant x reader#marc spector x reader#moon knight x reader#jake lockley angst#marc spector angst#moon knight angst#moon knight#marvel cinematic universe#oscar isaac x reader
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Can you do a doppelgänger M!reader? Reader is a doppelgänger who manages to move into the apartment complex and readers original plan was to k!ll everyone the moment he was let in but the moment he’s allowed in he sees Francis just trying to get to his apartment and reader becomes immediately infatuated with him, he then has a change of plans. His new plan is to get Francis’s attention anyway possible.
This can be smut or not doesn’t matter you do whatever you want with this, this just came off the top of my head and I just need more milkman fics 😿😿
I’m inlove with a monster.
;Male reader
Genre: Fluff to smut
Warning: NSFW AT THE END!!! Bottom reader,Handjobs(receiving),creampie,make out session,overstimulation
A/n: Technically this isn’t my first time writing smut..however it has been a while since I wrote one, I’m just hoping it won’t look too cringy; as for the minors..I can’t exactly stop you from reading this, you guys are just growing people who’s going through puberty, I’ve been through that before. Now I will discourage minors who are BELOW 13 years old.
This doorman is taking a bit longer than usual to be honest. They seem to be double checking everything, did they figure it out or something? My heart stopped when I saw them reach for the phone ‘Fuck, I didn’t think of that.’ I didn’t break out of character just yet, there’s a possibility that the real one isn’t home. They waited and waited until they put the phone down. They stared at me for a while, cold sweat started to run down my neck before they smiled and pressed a button
“Alright, looks like you’re good to go!” I sighed from relief and nodded at them before going inside the building, I grinned to how naive the doorman is because of their mistake, they put everyone’s lives at risk, oh I can’t wait-…whoa..
3rd POV
M/n honestly felt like the world stopped moving when he say a guy infront of him struggling to open his door, he didn’t know who that guy or what his name is but all he knows is that he’s pretty charming. Once the man shut his door only then M/n snapped out of his trance, a slight blush covering his face. Trying to figure out what the hell just happened to him, it all felt so new to him and so unfamiliar. But nonetheless he didn’t dislike the feeling, he wanted more in fact..
‘New purpose, I’m gonna try and get as close with that mine and find out what this feeling is.’ M/n thought before going downstairs to ask for a spare key because he doesn’t have a key to his new house
Every single day M/n would try and greet Francis, to try and strike a conversation with him.
“Hey Francis, buddy ol pal, how you doing?” M/n greeted him, trying to act as normal and formal as possible but failing to do so.
“I’m doing fine, how about you mr. Moo juice?” Francis responded smiling a bit at the nickname he gave for M/n.
“It was one time!” M/n’s face burned from embarrassment, as a way to talk to Francis he tried ordering some milk from him when he stumbled on his words, calling milk ‘Moo juice’ by mistake.
“Well I’m sorry but it’s pretty much I possible for me to get that memory out of my head, it’s too funny!” Francis giggled, M/n could listen to him giggle every single day and will not get tired of hearing it
“Well-I still remember the time when you accidentally barged into my apartment thinking it was yours because you were drunk!” Now it was Francis turn to get embarrassed
“Well you can’t exactly blame a drunk man for it, I would barely comprehend what happened then!” Francis laughed before putting on his hat “I’d love to chat with you more but I still have to go to work. I’ll talk to you later, see you!” He greeted him goodbye and went down the hall to the elevator
2nd POV
You sighed, already missing his presence greatly. During the past few months you grew to be comfortable living in the apartments, forming friendship with the other neighbors most especially Francis, obviously. After some time you learned that the original you was actually a writer..a bit boring but you tried writing a few times and slowly you grew to like it.
Sometimes you wondered whether the original you and Francis ever talked to eachother, but from how shy and quiet he was during the first few conversations maybe not as close. Every single conversation,exchange of greetings,waves,or any interaction with him, you cherished every single one of them. With a help of a neighbor whom you call a friend named Mia, told you that it might be a crush or infatuation. And although it’s not really viewed as a good thing to date the same gender in public, you could care less about what other people think. You only cared about Francis view on it, I mean he has an ex wife and literally has a child. It’s impossible for him to like you back..
Atleast that’s what you hoped, you hoped this time you were wrong.
Timeskip
Francis’ POV
I sighed at the tiring day, driving house to house and city to city was really tiring. All I wanted was to go back to my apartment and rest..if not maybe chat with M/n again. He’s a really nice and fun person to be with, his energy was never really overwhelming and he’s the perfect person to talk to whenever I’m tired but also want someone to talk to. His stories are so interesting to listen to, especially the forbidden love ones.
If I had to be honest, I never thought him and I were gonna get close. After the “moo juice” incident, we started talking more. I hope I get to talk to him soon, for now I have to focus on delivering this milk trays. I looked back to see how much I have to deliver and saw that there was still a lot, he sighed “This is gonna take a while..”
.
.
.
.
I groaned, finally done delivering the milk and stumbled upon the elevator, pressing the 3rd button and waiting for it to close. I took off my hat and started fanning myself, hoping it will cool me off from the tiring job. I sighed in relief once I heard the elevator ring and walked out of the elevator to M/n’s apartment, knocking a few times before waiting.
M/n’s POV
I yawned tiredly, I just woke up from a nap because someone knocked on the door. Being a different species has it’s perks, one being having heightened hearing. I opened the door not caring if it was a Doppel or not, if it was then I could handle it anyway, I’m one myself..what I didn’t expect was a tired milkman collapsing on me like a drunken man.
“Bloody hell-you scared me!” I wrapped my arm on his torso and carried him to my couch, I tried walking away to get something when he suddenly pulled me into the couch, trapping me below him “Uhm..Francis buddy, let me go. I’m gonna get some pillows for you.”
“No..stay here, I’ll just use you as my pillow..” he mumbled, hugging me tighter. It’s adorable seeing him in such state, it reminded me of the time he got drunk
“You’re Lucky You’re adorable..” i mumbled suddenly, not even thinking of my words, I slapped my hand over my mouth. Francis tensed and looked at me
“You find me adorable?” He asked, he doesn’t sound disgusted nor angry, actually he sounds shock and intrigue
“Uh yeah, I do actually..” What the fuck am I saying, he might think I’m weird now!
“..I’m glad you think of me that way too..” he said before laying his head on my chest..wait what.
“Hold on what-you cant just say that so suddenly!” I said sitting up straight so he won’t fall asleep on me
“Why not? You said it first.” He replied, my face burned from embarrassment
“I mean yeah but I didn’t expect you to think I’m cute..” I said blushing a bit
“Why not? I mean sometimes you act like a dog, obedient and gets excited when it comes to certain things. Especially when you’re talking about your new story. Everything about you is cute.” He said, not minding the effects of what his words did to me, bastard even smirked.
“Stop it, you’re saying things out of the blue!” I yelled, hiding my face from him, but my heart stopped when I heard what he said next
“Not to mention when you’re so tired, you don’t notice the little horns sticking out of your head.” I stopped for a moment and slowly looked at him, does he..I quickly grabbed his wrists and pinned him in the couch
“When did you know about me.” I asked sternly, although I liked him, I didn’t wanna go back to the d.d.d’s. No, i already had a good life and I won’t let it go away.
“The first week after we talked.” How is he so calm about this? I mean a doppelgänger pinning him to the couch, potentially getting eaten? “I already know you won’t hurt nor eat me, you love me too much for you to do that.”
“Well I uh..true..” I replied, loosening my grip on his wrists, in return he slipped his hand out and slowly he sat up
“See, I knew you love me..” he said soothingly while rubbing my head, like a dog..I sighed
“You didn’t even tell me?..” I asked, I’m a bit suprised how he’s handling this situation so calmly
“I always rub your head like this and it just goes away.” He said before pulling his hand back “see? It’s gone.”
“IT WAS THERE AGAIN?!” I yelled, he chuckled
“So uh..what are we now?..” he asked, I tilted my head in confusion
“Are we-I mean can you-do you wanna be together?..” he asked in a low voice, I was silent for a moment before quickly hugging him
“You don’t know how happy I am for you to tell that you actually like me back, even after knowing I’m not even the original M/n..” I hugged him tighter, I felt his arms wrap around my lower back and buried his face on my hair
“If I had to be honest, I prefer you over the original..and don’t think I haven’t noticed you.” He said giggling a bit, I was confused on what he meant by that “I can always see glancing at me from a far,from how your mood drastically changes depending if I’m in the room or not,and don’t get me started with those lovable dork eyes of yours with the mention of my name. And Mia ratted you out.”
“She what?!” I yelled, I groaned loudly and slapped a hand on my face, I means it’s expected..this is Mia we’re talking about, she literally told me all of the gossip when we first talked..
“Can I kiss you?” He asked, I looked at him with wide eyes, is it just me or is he getting bolder? “So is that a no-“
“Yes!” I quickly answered before shutting my mouth, it sounded like I was desperate or something, he seemed to like it by the way he chuckled
Before I knew, our lips smashed with each other, the kiss felt nice..it was comforting and tender, and filled with love. Something I wanted to experience everyday, and I’ll be sure to make that happen. Unfortunately he pulled away, I leaned forward unconsciously and he laughed through his nose.
“It seems you liked it it by how you leaned for more.” He laughed a bit, I could only stare at him with adoration, yeah I could definitely get used to this..
I quickly pulled him into another one to which he reciprocated quickly, the kiss was much more intense than before. I opened my mouth a little to get some air when he suddenly pushed his tongue inside my mouth, to which I choked at the sudden sensation but I welcomed it nonetheless. Looks can be deceiving, he’s the right person to use for it, at first he way seem like a tired and inexperienced person but boy..when I tell you he’s good..
Soon he pulled away so we can catch our breaths, a string of saliva connected our mouths as we planted from the session we had. My face was red considering it was my first time doing that, I was a bit surprised how well and experienced he is actually.
“Do you still wanna go further?” He asked, either way he already knows I’m gonna say yes due to the tent in my pants anyway
“Y-yeah sure.” I stuttered, he seems to be looking at my pants
“Just wanted to ask, since you’re a doppelgänger and you can alternate yourself, I’m just wondering if there’s a possibility you can alternate down there?” He asked, ah so that’s why
“Yeah, why? Do you want me to change it?” I asked but he shook his head as a no
“No, I want something to play with while doing it.” I raised an eyebrow at his statement
“..what?..”
.
.
.
.
.
.
“O-oh shit-!” I gasped when his pace became faster, currently we were in my bedroom giving me a handjob, he had an iron grip on my leg so I couldn’t crawl away “Hah ah-I shouldn’t..have ah!-asked..” I managed to speak
He just chuckled at my disheveled appearance, my hair was a mess. Sticking to my forehead, some got tangled by how much I turned my head side to side to ignore the feeling. My clothes are long gone, all thrown to the floor thanks to Mr. Milkman. Francis was shirtless and his hat was on my head, saying I looked cuter with it. This guy really likes seeing me like this doesn’t he?
“Please..” I muttered, I’m close and I’m sure he noticed it too by how my dick throb in his hand.
“Please what dearie? I can’t hear you.” He teased, smug bastard.
“Let m-me come mngh..please-I’m clo-HNGK..!” I choked on my spit once he gripped it and speed up the pace much faster than before, I tried to hold it in but the bastard was determined to make me release, and so I did. White streaks shot out from the tip, landing on his chest and to my stomach. I panted like a person who ran a marathon, but it felt great. It was something I’ve never really felt before..
I looked over at him to see him wipe some of the cum of his chest and to his mouth, I blushed at the act and immediately yelled at him
“Spit that out, it’s dirty!” He didn’t listen of course, fucker even snapped his tongue
“It’s sweet and salty..” he seemed a bit surprised, is it because of the salty part or sweet?
“Probably from all the milk you delivered to me..” I finally calmed down from my high but noticed that he was unbuckling his belt.
“H-hold on, you’re not finished I thought-hey!” I was a bit surprised when he listed my other leg and rested it on his shoulder, I grabbed a pillow to hold on to, something tells this one is gonna be different..
“You didn’t think I was finish were you?” His eyes met mine and instantly I felt small “I still haven’t had my problem solved yknow?”
Oh yeah he’s right, it would be a bit unfair to stop this when he hasn’t finished his yet. And so I hug my pillow, preparing for what’s about to happen. I dozed off a bit, obviously this is my first time and I have no experience with this kind of things, I just wondered how it was gonna feel whether it would lean more to pain or-
“Holy sh-mngh..!” I bite into the pillow when I felt my stretched up when he entered, it stinged, not in a way it was painful, it felt good..
He didn’t think so though because he immediately stopped and looked at me with concern “Sh-shit I’m sorry, I should’ve warned you..” he apologized, rubbing circles around my thighs
“It’s fine..it-..it felt good.” I admitted “Keep going..”
He blushed and nodded, slowly he pushed the rest of it in me, I muffled myself using the pillow. Holy shit did that feel nice, never really thought it would feel this good honestly.
“Can I move?” He asked softly, it’s cute how he still needs to ask
“Yes..” I replied
He indeed took that opportunity and pulled away, leaving the tip inside me before thrusting back. I choked out a moan, not expecting the sudden rough movement, not that I was complaining though it was kind of attractive.
The pace was fast and hard, the way he feels inside of me was something I could never explain in words. He was quite literally hitting all of the right place, like he studied my body and memorized all of the sensitive parts. The bed started creaking from how fast he was going but I could careless, all I could think about was him and him only. I was close again, the knot in my stomach was back. And as if he’s reading my thoughts his hand gripped my dick once more and started pumping it. His hand felt so nice against my dick, I could get used to this all day.
“F-fuck!..too ah-!m..much..” I moaned out, I didn’t even notice the tears that were rolling down my face atop the pillows. I could feel his thrust getting uneven “Please..!”
“You can k-keep it in, just a few more..” he panted, chasing his release, he slowed down his hand so I wouldn’t release so soon.
A few thrusts and soon he came inside of me, the feeling of being filled up plus his hand pumping my dick immediately put me to my climax. We both panted, riding out our high from the activity. He exhaled and collapsed his body on mine due to exhaustion.
“Oof bloody hell are you heavy.” I stated, he chuckled tickling my neck
“How was it?..” he asked after moving a little so I can breath, his arms were wrapped around my waist
“It’s scary how you know my body so well despite this being the first time you’re exploring it..” I admitted “You were great.”
“Glad to know..” he muttered, burrying his face onto my neck even more
Silence engulfed the room..
“How am I supposed to explain my neighbors about these bite marks and hickeys littered all around my neck. I swear you did this on purpose didn’t you.” I slapped his head weakly to which he laughed and hugged me tighter
“Yeah yeah, I’m sorry. But it’s not my fault you had a pretty neck, I couldn’t help it!” He stated
“Oh so that’s my fault?!” I laughed
Yeah I’m definitely gonna get used to this now..
#francis mosses#francis mosses x male reader#francis mosses x reader#thats not my neighbor#thats not my neighbor x male reader#thats not my neighbor x reader#x male reader#x reader#x bottom male reader#x bottom reader#top francis mosses#milkman x reader#milkman x male reader
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