#but honestly I’m also a bit anxious to say anything to the blog which I think you run because if I’m wrong

[eructofreak]

oh my g

youre getting *really* good at this, aren't you? you're just watching me unravel like a kitten plays with a ball of yarn. you know, don't you? i bet i've been found out and you're just prolonging the chase to make me just suffer under your sneakily keen attention to detail.

i can't say i dont like it. im so flustered right now you dont even know.

(detective dirk pony pals LARP session is so real.)

— shy anon

Who knows? ;) the only way you can verify whether that is or is not what I’m doing is by coming out yourself.

Also, new bullet points:

Uses analogies

Many forms of emphasis, commonly asterisks but also occasionally putting words in uppercase or italics

[inkwolvesandcoffee]

A Modern (Digital?) Love

TH Masterlist

I’m contemplating trying online dating despite being an introverted graysexual/grayromantic bordering on aro/ace. However, that very same train of thought got me thinking about a wee imagine.

Side note: I KNOW TOM IS HAPPILY MARRIED. THIS IS MERELY FICTION. I STRESS: FICTION.

So fancy me this;

- You finally manage to get yourself to create an online dating profile. You don’t expect anything to come out of it, being distrustful by nature and especially when it comes to men.

- Nevertheless, after a few who were obviously looking for something casual if not just outright sex only, you get a message that leaves you somewhere between gobsmacked and flattered.

- Hey, I just wanted to say you look really pretty in that dress in your latest photo. I don’t expect you to reply, but thought I could at least send you this compliment. Which is completely genuine, by the way. Also, I saw that you put in your bio men above 40 shouldn’t interact with you but I couldn’t help myself. So, again, I don’t expect you to reply, but I’d like to get to know you. I promise I have no ill intentions.

- After a moment’s hesitation, you reply with a simple ‘thank you’.

- And that practically kickstarts it all.

- You soon find yourself talking about anything and everything. The conversations range from your hobbies to trips to go on some day to what you’re having for dinner.

- You’re the first and only one he shoots a message before and after a bjj tournament.

- After some talking, you finally convince him send you a selfie.

- And you honestly can’t believe your luck. In fact, you think you may be a wee bit too lucky. Suspiciously so.

- However, he notes it’s a selfie from quite a while ago and he’s naturally quite shy and a private person. All the same, he assures you it’s really him in the photo even though nowadays he has more fine lines in his face.

- Regardless of the lingering doubts and after talking some more for a month or three, you finally dare to meet up in person.

- You get off the train at King’s Cross, nothing short of a nervous wreck.

- As soon as your feet hit the tiles of the platform, you consider turning back and go back home. Nevertheless, you force yourself to finish what you started.

- Trying your best to blend into the crowd, you scan the area to find Tom’s face. All you have to go on are the one selfie he sent you and his comment he very much looks the same albeit a tad older.

- “Looking for someone, miss?” you hear a gravelly voice behind you ask.

- You slowly turn around, ready to flee if this all turns out to be a catfish scenario.

- But it isn’t.

- Because right there, looking down at you with a tender smile, is Tom.

- For a moment, you simply gawk at him, absolutely incapable of uttering a single word.

- “I hope I don’t disappoint,” he says. Though he tries to make light of your shared discomfort, his smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes. Despite his best efforts to hide it, he’s just as anxious as you are. After all, why’d you want to get involved with a guy his age?

- “You don’t. At all,” you say after having regained the ability to speak.

- “That’s good. But before we head to my place to get you settled in, how about we sit down for a coffee?”

- “Sounds good.”

- The words haven’t left your mouth or you find your faces a few inches apart. Tom nudges your nose with his. “Can I first kiss you, though?”

- You nod.

- The kiss makes all the miles and waiting worth it. His lips are soft and plush, filled with the warm tenderness hidden behind all the words on the screen.

- Ready for a new start.

- With you.

Tag list: @liliac-dreamer @vir-tual @potter-solomons @hecatemoon87 @hoodeddreams13 @dreamlandcreations @rose-like-the-phoenix @mollybegger-blog @buttercupsandboys @babaohhhriley

[hbelcherarts246-01]

Process & Reflection (Week 7)

Text Reflection

This week's chapter of the text discussed several very interesting typographic concepts, specifically concepts that pertain to the evolution of typographic technology.

I found it really interesting to read about the evolution of typographic design, from its very basic origins to its refined and versatile modern form. I especially found phototypesetting to be a really interesting method of designing typefaces. I had never heard of this method before reading this chapter, and I think it is something I would like to try someday.

I also found the brief section about the world of possibilities that modern screen-based typography has opened up for graphic designers interesting. The images reminded me of an article I recently read about the new standard, so to speak, for resumes and cover letters. While we've all been taught for years to develop an eye-catching and professional resume to get the attention of potential employers, with the introduction of AI algorithms, this is no longer the best idea.

If you include graphics or other interesting elements, such as a versatile and interesting display font, the AI algorithms will skip over your resume, costing you a job. This is particularly devastating to creatives looking for professional work because creative resumes and portfolios have always been the unquestioned norm.

I know that this train of thought is a bit tangential, but the side-by-side comparison in the textbook of what web-based typography used to look like at its very beginnings versus what it looks like nowadays was very striking. It’s upsetting and confusing that we have, with the introduction of AI, somehow gone backward.

Process

This is the part of the blog that I have been very anxious to write about. I don't want to overshare with strangers on the internet, but it’s been a difficult month.

I've been struggling with mental health as a result of a “domino effect” of family crises that all happened over the span of the last 2 weeks. I’ve been living in fight or flight the last few weeks because terrifying, unreal-feeling things keep happening and I feel like my family and world are falling apart.

My dad got sick a few months after I started college and he’s been in and out of the hospital ever since then. A few weeks ago, he was admitted to the ICU. My mom didn’t say anything about it to me until a week later, when he caught an infection from the hospital.

My boyfriend took a day off work to drive me to the hospital where my dad was originally admitted. I got to see my brothers, which was a little comforting. I’m so grateful to have them and my boyfriend. They keep me grounded and I really hope I do the same for them.

I tried to fill in as a parent and be there for my brothers as much as I could, but I’m bad at comforting people. I’m still trying to be there for them, even though I’m back in Columbia now. My mom has been in a New Jersey mental health facility since November, so they’re alone.

My dad is in a different hospital now, but it’s a much cleaner one than the first. He’s still fighting off the infection he caught from the other hospital.

I haven’t been sleeping and I'm exhausted. I’ve been spending most of my “down time” struggling to keep up with my classes’ assignments and projects. I feel like I’ve fallen behind. I’ve neglected a lot of other responsibilities like taking care of my physical health.

I'm just trying to do damage control at this point. I spoke to one of my professors about what my next steps should be, but I need to speak to my other professors still. I'm going to email/possibly meet with my advisor as well, because she helped me make it through a similar emergency with my family last year. I have an appointment at the Student Health Center on March 4th for counseling, which I need right now.

There's honestly nothing I want more than to go back to normal, sleep, and try to deal with what's happening and how I'm feeling through my projects.

Past project; original music festival logo on left and revised/final version on left.

Current project; envelope experiments (top) and pattern/typeface mood board (bottom).

[blakelywintersfield]

Minors

Okay so, I originally wrote this in response to this post (my friend's reblog is linked instead of the original because OP either deleted it from their blog I guess?), but I feel like this constitutes as its own post.

I know this may sound like an overbearing parent "don't trust strangers on the internet" talk, but like. I don't think a lot of you understand just how quickly a situation can escalate; it's scary. I mean that not in a condescending "you think you're untouchable you stupid little child, you don't really know what the world is like" way either, but as in, I don't think internet safety is being taught realistically, so those things you're told to watch out for are far-fetched or already seem suspect.

Predators don't work the way TV shows joke that they do -- most predators aren't going to try and message you at random posing as a teenage girl and attempt to strike up a friendship. A lot interact in community spaces like tumblr, where some level of anonymity is allowed, and it's not odd for there to be people of both minor and adult ages. They interact with a variety of people -- not just targets. They will have full-fledged social circles. Their blogs and social interactions will look like literally any other person's on here.

Then, of the different blogs they follow, they end up interacting a lot with a certain user. Maybe the kind of humor clicks, or similar opinions, or interests. Nothing out of the ordinary; that's how people make friends. Maybe then they start by sending an ask, or a message, or whatever, and that continues for a bit until you two are kind of acclimated to one another, and then, as far as everyone is concerned, it's just a new friend! Neat! That's how you make friends on the internet. They most likely did this with their other friends on tumblr. Nothing weird. In this hypothetical, the minor party has their full name and city public.

But then this person you make friends with -- the way you would any other person on this website -- turns out to be 10+ years your senior. Which like. Honestly, you don't have to cut them out of your life and block them immediately, but you inform them you're 10 years younger than them. A responsible adult would respond to that knowledge with anything from the range of "oh holy shit you're baby uhh I feel a little weird interacting with you so personally" to "oh goodness you are a youngling I will now enter caregiver/parent-like mode". And there will be an established tone from there of "we may still interact but there is going to always be a set emotional distance". It'll have a different dynamic/feeling to the friendships you have with people your age. And it should. Both parties can still care about each other! But this isn't someone you would like. Hang out one on one with. You wouldn't hang out with your mom's friend one on one, or at your teacher's home alone. That'd be weird, right? That should be the same kind of vibe you get with any adult "friendship" you make online (I put friendship in quotes because I feel like... there's a better term for it, or should be one that establishes that adult/minor relationship, but if there is I can't for the life of me remember it).

But maybe that person doesn't go down that path. Maybe it comes off that way at first, but there's a subtle level of emotional manipulation that is subtle enough that you're not certain you can accuse them of being manipulative. "Oh wow, you're so much younger than me... do you still want to talk to me / be friends / etc.? I can leave you alone now if you want." Warning sign #1: they are pressuring you to make the decision; they are placing responsibility on you. And it might feel a little mean to just drop communication all of a sudden because of age -- you got along fine before. Why should that change anything? That's a rational thought process, but it's also the one that benefits them too.

So hypothetically, you say "no it's okay, we can still talk. we were talking just fine before we found out each other's ages so why should that change?" And then maybe the conversation continues normally from there. But then they continue interacting with you as your peers would. You guys talk about stuff that's been stressing you or your problems, just like you would with your peers. Nothing seems out of the ordinary. Warning sign #2: That form of emotional connection isn't normal with an adult/minor relationship. I have minors that follow me. They have talked to me about their problems, and I've offered advice and wisdom; I don't condemn that because, well. As adults, we should help guide the younger if asked. But when it comes to my troubles, I limit how much I discuss with them. I don't bring them up myself (it's often brought up by the other party because I'll post about it on here, like a vent post or whatever). And while I don't brush them off with a short "don't worry about it", I make it clear -- I appreciate that you care enough to make sure I'm okay (because their sympathy / care is just as valuable as an adult's), but even if I'm not okay, the burdens and problems surrounding my troubles will be dealt with by me. I don't ask them for advice. I don't goad them for sympathetic words. And it's not that I believe they couldn't give good advice, or their sympathy means less, but an adult should not be relying on a minor for those levels of emotional labor. That established emotional connection where both parties exchange advice and comfort is how predators manipulate their victims because it's subtle and seemingly harmless, and difficult to paint them as a bad person when you have that level of emotional trust.

And once that emotional connection is established, that's when things can escalate, and get scary, quickly.

One day while talking they will probably bring it up -- the way one of your peers would. Something along the lines of "hey can I tell you something?" or "there's something I want to tell you but I'm afraid you won't want to talk to me anymore if I do" etc. etc.; with that peer/peer dynamic, that'll make you anxious, sure. You'd probably get anxious if they were your own age and said that too. So then, it comes out in some form that "I like you, but like... as more than a friend" or "I think you're really cute; I have for a bit now actually" or something similar. Obviously then it's uncomfortable.

But then you realize -- this is an adult. This is someone who has access to transportation. This is someone that doesn't have to report to someone (i.e. a minor can't just say "I'm going out of town for a week bye!" like your parents would, or SHOULD, be like "uh okay where are you going, who are you going to be with, why, etc. etc. etc."). And they know your full name and a general idea of where you live. You could just block them then and there and remove that information from your blog. But what if they already saved it? What if they already used one of those websites where you can look up a person's address by name for $5? What if they already know where you live, and they had planned on asking to meet up? They might know where you live. And you can't confirm or deny that they know. You can't say for sure if you removed that information before they saved it and used it for that purpose. Suddenly, there's the very real possibility that a pedophile that admitted to being attracted to you knows where you live.

Then what do you do? You should tell your parents or a trusted authority figure. But you're also a teenager and there's the likelihood that your parents might brush it off, or get angry with you, and you might get your internet taken away, etc., which is stressful because that takes away a major social area. To build upon the anxiety with that, there's the risk of unknowing if this person does know where you live, and if they do, if they are just unstable enough to do something drastic, like, y'know. Kidnap you. Because they know where you live. And they may know your school schedule too. And if your parents or trusted authority figure doesn't know about this situation, you may end up a missing child never found at worst, or found with far more trauma (5 years of life being kidnapped as opposed to a few months) that could've been avoided had someone known the situation.

But to 100% ensure your safety, it would have to be reported to the police. Because your parents can't do anything about the fact that a pedophile on the internet might know where you live. They can't confirm or deny that they know, and if they did, there's not much they can do other than keep an eye out for someone that looks out of the ordinary. But if they're most likely not home at the same time you are all the time. So, having the police involved ensures your safety -- if you open a case. You can report it to the police, and they'll ask: do you want to press charges (because it could be considered a form of child endangerment). If you say no, then that guarantees if you are kidnapped, that person would be the first they'd look to as a suspect. But to avoid that kidnapping risk at all, you'd have to say yes. And you're a kid that's now having to get involved in court just to avoid any risk to your safety because a pedophile may or may not have your address and may or may not be someone that would abduct their target, and so even if they didn't have your address and wouldn't kidnap you, you are now in a legal situation, which is. extremely. stressful. As someone's who's dealt with the court system a lot it's stressful no matter what.

And sure, you could omit the last step. But then you'll have that looming anxiety for as long as you're a minor that there is a possibility this person may show up at your house at some point. And that anxiety is fucking torture. I know it firsthand, I know all of this up to the legal portion firsthand, because this is exactly how I got tangled up with a pedophile in high school. That anxiety can make you paranoid. It impacts your sleep, which impacts your emotional tolerance and your concentration. It looms and there's nothing you can do to get rid of it other than convince yourself "they probably don't have my address; they probably won't find me". And that logic becomes sounder as time passes. But it requires time to pass, and in the meantime, you sit in constant suffering suspense.

It's just not fucking worth it, okay? You might think "this would never happen to me" but like. I was the fat emo weirdo in high school, literally considered attractive by no one and told so by peers and I still had it happen to me. So don't think "I'm not appealing enough" or whatever. Put self-esteem issues aside here, because to them, you're underage and at a power dynamic disadvantage not just physically, but most likely emotionally too. They care that you're a certain (under)age and can be manipulated into sexual acts. They will target you no matter how ugly you think you are or how unattractive your peers have convinced you.

So please. As an adult, that went through this situation (and could've had it turn out a lot worse tbh) -- do not disclose your real name (especially last names), location more specific than country, phone number, or school publicly online or to anyone you cannot 100% trust. I practice half of these in adulthood just to err on the side of caution since a full name and phone number alone could be used to find my address, and there are some preeeeetty unstable people out there. As a minor, absolutely no one needs any information unless you plan on meeting them in person, which should only be done after you've gotten to know them extremely well and both parties' parents know and are involved. It doesn't need to be on your public profile, and it shouldn't be on your public profile. I want your social media experience to be as enjoyable as possible, I don't want you feeling like you have to constantly keep an eye out for predators. But to keep yourself as safe as possible, don't purposefully make that information public. It's simple, but it’ll help you avoid so much potential stress.

Please stay safe.

[praxeus-13]

Hello! So happy to see a new fic blog, especially one that has fics for the Master! May I request a fluffy Dhawan!Master x reader in which the reader is the doctor’s companion but doesn’t want to admit she’s in love with the Master? And you can choose the circumstances, but maybe the master “captures” and hypnotizes her in front of the fam and she accidentally reveals it? Thank you so much! I loved “warmth” a lot. 🥰🥰🥰♥️♥️♥️

Thank you so much! I absolutely loved this request as I was already planning on writing something along these lines. I couldn’t find a way to get the hypnotism to work but everything else is there so I hope you enjoy!

Well Kept Secrets

Pairing: Dhawan!Master x fem!Reader

Word Count: 2800

Summary: (what the ask says)

For: @agentmalfoy24601

Warnings: None

You really hadn’t meant to fall for The Master, but intention never seemed to stop anyone when it came to falling in love.

When you first met him, as O, you weren’t quite sure what to think. He was a bit strange, but still sweet - and while he wasn’t your type, you couldn’t deny that he was very attractive. However, there were a few moments when you would look at O and see someone else, and that person interested you. Looking back now, you knew that you had seen his persona slip, even if just for a second, and that had been what had drawn you to him.

When he had revealed himself on the plane it had only drawn you in more. Of course, you had been terrified in the life or death situation, but you had also felt a buzz of excitement and intrigue. If he hadn’t have left you to die on that plane, you know that there was a chance you would have gone with him.

Then The Doctor had sent him off to the Kasaarvin’s dimension and you had lost hope of ever seeing him again, only for him to show up two weeks later.

The Doctor had taken you all to some market planet, given you a credit stick and told you to go off and explore. Originally, you had been wandering around with Graham, but then you had gotten sidetracked and lost sight of him. You had also lost sight of anything else that you recognised so you had started to amble around in hopes of finding someone or something to help.

At first, you hadn’t even seen The Master, so focused on your surroundings that you almost walked right into him, and you barely understood what was happening when he grabbed your arm and dragged you down a quiet side alley.

When you had finally recognised who he was and what had happened, you had been to shocked to stutter out a full sentence. That had caused him to smirk and cockily ask if he was the only one who could leave you speechless, which only made you more flustered.

Once you had finally managed to compose yourself you asked how he was alive, a question that he had ignored in favour of pushing you up against the closest wall and kissing you. It took your brain a few seconds to catch up with the fact that he was actually kissing you before you started to kiss back. Then he had swiftly broken off the kiss and told you that he’d be seeing you, before walking out of the alleyway and back into the bustling streets.

By the time you had finally made it back to the rest of the group, you had managed to get your brain back to its normal working order. Though, when your friends asked you where you had been you told them you simply told them that you had gotten lost after spotting something interesting, resolving not to bring up The Master at all.

True to his promise, he had shown up again about a week after that, kissing you senseless yet again and leaving with little explanation.

After this happened a few times, always when you got separated from the group, you started to have proper conversations with each other. A first they were only about whatever trouble he had caused on the planet to distract The Doctor with, but soon you had started to talk to each other more and more about your lives. He wasn’t as stingy on details as The Doctor was, but you could tell he was still keeping quite a bit of information from you.

Then he started showing up at your apartment, which was a little bit concerning, but he always knocked rather than just bursting in like you knew The Doctor would, so you didn’t really mind. Soon enough your relationship had changed from just meeting up and making out for five minutes, to meeting up and talking for a few hours. Though it was slow, you felt yourself start to fall in love with this strange alien man.

Of course, this caused a lot of internal conflict, especially considering you were still travelling with The Doctor and the rest of the fam. You knew that they were your friends - practically a second family at this point - but you feared that if they ever found out about your relationship with The Master you would loose them. So you kept quiet and tried to pretend that you weren’t secretly dating the man who had tried to kill you all. Every time the two of you met up on one of your trips with The Doctor was both exhilarating and frightening, and while you loved seeing him all the time you were always worried that one of your friends would catch you with him.

When The Master invited you to travel with him instead of The Doctor several months into your relationship, you didn’t quite know what to say. You knew that you loved him, but you had never been able to say it aloud, and you weren’t even sure if he loved you back. As well, it wasn’t like you didn’t like travelling with The Doctor and the fam; it was brilliant, even if you did end up running for your life on most adventures, and you weren’t sure if you were ready to leave them just yet.

Unfortunately, you had taken too long to give The Master an answer, and he ended up storming off without stopping when you cried out his name, not caring to listen to any explanation you had to give.

That had been a month ago and you hadn’t heard a word from him since, which had only upset and worried you. Even if you weren’t ready to travel with him then, you had hoped that you could still be in a relationship with him. You knew that your friends had noticed your mood, and they had all tried to talk to you about it, but you reassured them that you were okay and didn’t say anything more.

————

Now you were on another adventure with your friends, using it again to distract yourself from debating whether you and The Master had broken up or whether he was going to randomly show up and pretend that nothing happened. The planet that you had landed on was overrun with nature, and the ruins of whatever civilisation had been there previously were barely noticeable.

Somehow The Doctor had managed to find a very large cathedral-like building that was still mostly in tact, which was what you were currently exploring.

Without any warning you were grabbed from behind and pulled into someone’s tight grip, causing you to yelp and try to struggle away. Then you noticed who exactly had a hold of you and you stopped struggling as much, making a conscious effort to not relax completely into the hold that you had gotten so used to after the last few month.

Your friends had turned around at the noises and their faces were now a mix of anger and concern, glaring at The Master.

“Let her go.” The Doctor told him, her tone indicating her worry.

“Well, I would, but I think (y/n) is quite comfortable in my arms Doctor.” He spat his response at her, tightening his grip further, but still making sure not to hurt you.

You were trying to resist looking up at him, because you knew you wouldn’t be able to hide the love that your expression would hold.

“No, you’re scaring her, now let her go and I might consider giving you whatever you’ve come here for.”

In your chest your heartbeat had started to pick up speed, you could see that The Master was trying to let onto your friends about your relationship, and you only hoped that he wouldn’t actually say anything.

“Hmm, seems I know your companion better than you.” At this comment you finally looked at him, hoping that he would see the look in your eyes and just walk away without saying anything.

He didn’t look down at you though, and just stayed glaring at The Doctor.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” The Doctor was starting to sound irritated, but there was a hint of fear in her voice as well.

Still trying to stop him from revealing your relationship, you squeezed his hand and tried to get his attention. Unfortunately, he continued to ignore you, and you started to feel much more anxious.

The Master let out a hysteric sounding laugh at The Doctor’s question, and it wasn’t anything like the soft laugh you had grown used to. Though you hated to admit it, he was starting to scare you.

“You don’t even have a clue of what I’m talking about.”

Looking back at the four of them to gauge their reactions, you could see that Yaz and The Doctor were very close to piecing it all together, and Ryan and Graham wouldn’t be too far behind. Instinctively, you pressed further into The Master’s hold, trying to feel some semblance of comfort or safety. Obviously he knew what you were trying to do, he had gotten used to you snuggling close to him whenever you watched a scary movie or had a nightmare, and, either consciously or unconsciously, he started to stroke the back of your hand with his thumb.

“No…” The Doctor’s gasp could barely be heard, but it still caused your gaze to fall to the floor in shame.

You knew that you probably shouldn’t love him, but you did, and now you were going to face the consequences. All you hoped is that after loosing your friends, you wouldn’t loose The Master too.

“Yes.” The Master replied gleefully.

“You can’t- you must have hypnotised (y/n)! She wouldn’t willingly enter a relationship with you.”

“Well, clearly she would, because she did. I haven’t hypnotised her, or threatened her, or drugged her. (Y/n) is with me by choice.” The Master was very clearly pissed off at the implementation that he would do anything to injure you.

Honestly, you were slightly annoyed at it too, the only time he had ever come close to harming you had been on Barton’s plane, and you had gotten out of that alright in the end. You squeezed his hand for comfort again, and this time he squeezed back, calming you down slightly.

“Stop playing games and give (y/n) back.” The Doctor’s voice sounded almost dangerous now, and you were starting to worry for both your safety and The Master’s.

However, The Master seemed unfazed as he ignored her and continued to hold you, “You know it’s true, I can see it in your eyes, but if you’re still having trouble believing it then why don’t you just ask (y/n)?”

Of course he would put you on the spot, you had known him long enough to realise that this whole setup was coming from a place of vulnerability. He was worried that you were going to leave him, that you didn’t care for him anymore, and instead of talking to you about it he was lashing out. It was something that you had been trying to work on with him, but after your hesitation to answer his proposal of travelling with him, he had jumped to conclusions and this was the result.

The silence after he had told The Doctor to question was so deafening that you swore your frantic heartbeat was echoing around the abandoned building. You forced yourself to look up, to look at The Doctor in the eye, and it seemed to be the push she needed.

“(Y/n)?” She didn’t need to ask the question, it was already hanging in the air.

“I chose to be in a relationship with him, he didn’t force me into it.” And then, much quieter, you added on, “I love him.”

Part of you had hoped that no one would have heard what you said, but the room you were in had been dead silent. The Master’s grip on you relaxed in shock, holding you as though you were fragile enough that you could shatter like glass. You tilted your head towards him so you could see his reaction, still slightly worried that he wouldn’t reciprocate.

He seemed to be staring down at you with awe and love, and you couldn’t quite believe that he was looking at you like that.

“You love me?” He asked you, his voice impossibly soft.

You simply nodded in response, unable to form any words. The Master bought one of his hands up to cup your face lightly, as though he was still afraid of breaking you.

“I love you too.” He was almost whispering when he said it but a smile immediately formed on your face.

He leant in to kiss you and you kissed him back eagerly. Unfortunately the kiss was cut short by a not so subtle cough from the direction of your friends.

Still comfortably in The Master’s hold, you turned to face your friends again, feeling your face heating up as you blushed.

“Okay, am I the only one who’s really confused?” Ryan asked, looking around at the rest of your friends for confirmation.

He got a chorus of ‘no’s’ in response and if it wasn’t such a strange situation you might have laughed.

“Yeah, how come you’re in love with the guy who tried to kill us? Cause I feel like I’ve missed a lot.” Graham asked, as clueless as he usually was.

“I’m pretty sure that (y/n) has been secretly dating The Master.” Yaz piped up, and you were slightly glad that she had answered for you.

“Yeah that’s basically the gist of it.” You laughed awkwardly, yet again squeezing The Master’s hand for comfort.

They seemed to mull over this for a few minutes, before The Doctor finally spoke up again.

“(Y/n), are you sure that you want to be with him?” She asked you, and for once it was a question that you could answer easily.

“Yes, I am.” You smiled at her, and you knew that The Master was probably smiling at you.

“Then I suppose I can’t do anything to stop you from loving him.” Then she turned her focus to The Master, “but if you hurt her expect serious consequences!”

He rolled his eyes, “I wouldn’t expect anything less, but I won’t hurt them.”

The Doctor and your other friends then proceeded to interrogate the two of you (though they were mainly focused on The Master) about your relationship. Even if it was slightly annoying, you appreciated their concern and protectiveness over you. During the ordeal The Master constantly acted as though he was extremely annoyed and offended at their interrogation, though you could tell that he was glad you had such good friends - even if one of them was his best enemy.

Eventually the six of you made it back to the two TARDISes, and you all paused outside. He hadn’t bought up the question of whether you would join him in his TARDIS since the first time, and you were still slightly worried that you had missed your opportunity.

Then he turned to you, still holding on of your hands even though you were no longer in his hold, “Want to travel with me?”

He asked with such hope in his expression that you felt your heart melt, even after you had rejected him the first time he was still holding out hope.

A wide grin formed on your face and you nodded, “I’d love to.”

He grinned back and pulled you in for another kiss, much to the disgust of your friends.

The next thirty minutes were spent packing up your possessions and moving them from The Doctor’s TARDIS to The Master’s. That was then followed by teary hugs as you said goodbye to your friends and made promises to call and meet up with them whenever you were all on Earth at the same time. The Doctor made sure that you knew to call her if anything ever went wrong, promising that she’d be there immediately.

Despite the grief that you felt leaving your friends and that chapter of your life behind, you were eager to start travelling with The Master and to see how your relationship would develop. The Doctor, Graham, Ryan and Yaz had definitely become a second family to you, but you knew that this wasn’t going to be the last time you saw any of them.

Holding The Master’s hand, you let him pull you into his TARDIS as you waved goodbye to your friends, before turning around and beaming at him. As soon as the door was shut he pushed you up against it and kissed you senseless - reminding you very much of your first kiss with him.

“Where to first, love?” The Master asked as he brushed a stray piece of hair away from your face.

“Anywhere, as long as it’s by your side.”

[nox-artemis]

Kentaro Miura

It took me awhile to get my thoughts in order. Honestly, as well intentioned as they are, a constant stream of fan tributes on Twitter and Tumblr more-or-less telling me how to process “The End” of Berserk with Miura’s death didn’t do a lot to console me, so I had to take some huge steps away from social media and only conversed my feelings with my other close Berserk fan-friends.

It was very surreal waking up yesterday morning to a friend messaging me simply saying, “did you hear the news?” When shit like that happens, I go onto my Google stories app and scroll through. I didn’t find anything really worth getting too upset over (maybe a bit sad that Queen Elizabeth II’s doggo died?) so it hit me to check my Twitter feed instead.

And that’s when I saw it.

We all know death is inevitable, and life is pretty much spent prolonging the point to that inevitability as well as preparing ourselves for when it happens to us or someone close to us. Being part of the Berserk fandom was the only time we all collectively had this on our mind not only for someone else but for someone we never met or really knew that much about. We only knew Miura through his magnum opus – and that was good enough for us. And no matter how much we discussed the worst-case scenario – pondering how the story would continue and how WE would continue – it still wasn’t enough to prepare us for this amount of shock. Hearing Miura had died and that the Berserk we know and love under his direct supervision is over truly felt like losing a long-lost friend.

It wasn’t just that the Berserk we know of is “over”, but that Miura didn’t have to die. He was only 54: not a young age, but not an old age either, especially by today’s standards. He could have seen the end to his magnum opus the way he envisioned it, yet he died of something so avoidable but is only brought about by a great deal of stress (from what I’ve read). It was always a morbid open rumor that so many of Miura’s infamous hiatuses were actually mental and/or physical health breaks, so the older or more conscious of us fans, while always eager and anxious for a new chapter, learned to not take them so personally. Miura was a spellbinding artist and storyteller, but he was also a human with his own life and conflicts that he was entitled to address at his own pace. This isn’t meant to blame anyone (at the very least, maybe to address some societal/industry issues), but it’s troubling enough to remind everyone – as the story of Berserk has demonstrated – that you need to take care of yourself physically and mentally, and while everyone struggles in life, you don’t have to struggle alone.

I always despised this weird cult of youth that insinuates that life isn’t worth pursuing once you hit your mid-thirties, and how some people so engulfed in their youth insist that they wouldn’t mind dying by the age of 50 or 60. It’s a shame when people live by that because there’s so much to live for beyond your youth – as I’ve learned, I only started buckling down when I transitioned into my thirties. Miura could have had a longer life ahead of him, going beyond Berserk and into his other endeavors, professional and personal, but that will unfortunately never happen now.

Everyone knows I have a lot of thoughts and opinions on Berserk. Most of you found out about me through my blogging several years ago, and I’m pretty proud that I was never the sort of fan that groveled at Miura’s feet and treated Berserk as some untouchable holy book: there were things I disliked about Berserk and things that disappointed me about Miura’s writing, but there were SO MANY MORE THINGS that I loved about Berserk and was proud of Miura for, and I wished him to continue his advancement in narrative growth. He did so and we watched it happened.

And, by meeting so many friends and acquaintances through the fandom, we saw a lot in ourselves change too. It’s surreal how we always joked that it would be one of us fans who would die before Berserk ended or the worst-case scenario of Miura dying; maybe some of us secretly preferred for that happen. But when we weren’t waiting around for another chapter… look at how much we’ve done with our lives! We graduated high school, undergrad, grad school, started and advanced our careers, traveled the world, got together, popped out a kid or two!... And while we experienced a lot of downfalls and tragedies that coincide, can you believe how much we have accomplished together?

We were all personally inspired, motivated, persuaded by Berserk in different ways: a lot of us were inspired for the better and admittedly, some for the not-as-good (if spending countless hours on Tumblr has taught me, there were definitely some toxic fan takeaways that had to be confronted). I’m not going to go to the point of saying that I now live my life by Berserk’s philosophy to a T or live as a reflection of certain characters (because I’m pretty sure that Miura was trying to tell us to NOT live your life like some particular characters) but it certainly helped to brings some aspects of life and existence into perspective, through the lenses of so many characters. Berserk also inspired me to write more, an already favorite pastime of mine, and how I should go about writing and planning a story, taking cues from Berserk on how to and how NOT to write and approach things in my own way, which I think is for the best in the long run. I can only dream that I’ll be published someday – which doesn’t have to be a pipe dream because it’s still much more possible than impossible. And so many other have done the same, creating our own stories and works.

And OF COURSE Berserk inspired me to be a little bit badass from time to time in moments of frivolity and seriousness – but it reminds us all that being badass and being a kinder person who tries to become the best version of themselves are not mutually exclusive. We definitely need more of that in today’s world.

We all made our own little bonfires of dreams happen, and because of Berserk existing, there will be a lot more beginnings than endings, and I don’t see a lot of bonfires being extinguished anytime soon. Miura poured his heart and soul into Berserk and its characters, and while he has passed on, his characters and lessons will live on through us and everything we create and how we live our lives (hopefully for the better).

I was happy to share all of my thoughts with you all – and I’ll continue to do so, since the mythos of Berserk has been a major backdrop of my creative mind for over fifteen years now and there is still so much to dissect and speculate. Personally, I don’t see Berserk ending just yet, if only because I’d be surprised that Miura or his publisher didn’t have some Operation London Bridge type plan in place in the event that this happened (Berserk is, after all, a major title that most likely brings Young Animal a lot of revenue). Again, I never treated Miura or Berserk as divine untouchables, so if there are plans in place to continue Berserk without Miura (BUT with his permission) or just on how to wrap up the story to give it a fulfilling conclusion, I personally would be okay with it (as a friend of mine put it, it’d be more of a tribute than an imitation). Going beyond our lifetimes, works will continue to be interpreted and reinterpreted as they have since time immemorial; perhaps Berserk will reach that point someday.

Honestly, and many have thought so too, Berserk was also meant to be cosmic level in both scale and concept. The plot is so grand and Byzantine that, even under Miura’s direct supervision, I always had a hard time envisioning how a story of this scale would conclude. As much as we love to hate him, a final showdown between Guts and Griffith seems too simple, too “good vs. evil”-esque for Berserk. Maybe having a low-key, vague but optimistic and bittersweet wrap up is what is best for Guts, Casca, and their new-found family. But that’s just another one of my fan speculations.

Regardless or what is to become of Berserk now, I think it’s safe to give adulations. We all came across Berserk at different times in our lives and stuck with the story for different reasons. For some of us, it was just another series that our friend from the campus anime club recommended to us; for others, we were drawn in from a morbid curiosity of its dark notoriety in anime circles. A few of us read for the gratuitous violence and the clout (because we all know you’re so deep and hardcore [/sar]), but a lot more of us read for the journey and the characters that we became a part of. The heaviness of Berserk made us confront a lot of trauma and even relive our own. For some of us, understandably, it was not a good idea to dive deeper (and maybe somethings could have been handled better); for the rest of us, it helped us cope, if not entirely through the story itself, than through the support network we made for ourselves in this fandom and its many realms (some realms, I argue, are more caring and nurturing than others).

From time to time, I always wonder if I would ever “grow out” of Berserk. There were indeed several times I took a step away from fandom and have tried to reduce my exposure to the story - but I always came back in some way, because the essence of Berserk has never left me and never will. Humorously I envisioned myself actually forgetting about Berserk for several decades, decades in which I work at my career, raise my family, mourn my elders, but continue living my life, only to go on the future internet in my mid-50s to find out… Miura is STILL working on that ending, sitting at his desk in the same pose as that famous monochrome capture of him, only he’s grayed and wrinkled, like the great Miyazaki.

The possibility of that future is over, but there are so many others.

[serendistudy]

30.7.2021 | friday

i haven’t been posting very actively for like four months now and i thought i’d write a sort of a life update blog post just to record what’s been going on! so, more rambling under the cut ~ 

(also for a while i’ve been wanting to try a different kind of theme/aesthetic for my posts so this is me trying it out!)

(mental illness mention tw)

i took a bit of a social media break for a few months this spring/summer. i didn’t really have a specific goal for my break, as in i didn’t do it to be more productive or to then talk about all the awesome, productive things that i’ve gotten done in the time that i gained from not being on social media. honestly, what i did with the extra time was Absolutely Nothing. and i’m very happy about that. i was able to actually relax, not just mindlessly scroll through instagram without gaining anything from it. i listened to a lot of music, like whole albums by bands that i love. i hadn’t just listened to an album without doing anything else for SO LONG and it was actually really nice and relaxing, and definitely something that being pretty addicted to social media was keeping me from doing.

i’m still not returning to instagram but i did actually feel like coming back to tumblr because i know that studyblr actually motivates me. i start my 3rd year in uni this fall and i wanted to come back here to record my uni journey again. i’m still not being too optimistic about returning to in-person classes this fall because it seems like the situation isn’t getting much better here. but we’ll see. i’m also not very excited about physically returning to uni because of certain mental health issues that i also want to discuss here a little bit.

i’ve been going to therapy for a short while now. i’ve struggled with anxiety and panic attacks for as long as i can remember and this whole covid situation has made things even worse for me and brought back my ocd habits. i’ve had trouble getting out of the house a lot because it has felt like too much. that’s why i’m also kinda terrified of starting in-person classes again. i haven’t enjoyed online uni at all but at least i’ve been able to continue my studies from home without having to go anywhere. but being in therapy, i’m working on this whole thing. and i’ve made progress, too. i was able to go shopping for a little while this week. up until now i’ve only done the necessary shopping and i haven’t felt comfortable staying in places for too long. so, it’s not much, but it’s progress to me to be able to shop for some nice clothes etc. and knowing i have new clothes i like makes it easier to go to places because at least i’m feeling confident in what i’m wearing. 

i wanted to be open about these experiences of mine from the past year and a half because on studyblr i see a lot of people saying they can’t wait to return to in-person classes, which i totally get bcs online uni is exhausting af. but i just couldn’t relate to that and i wanted to talk about the other perspective of feeling terrified about physically returning to school. i think that excitement and fear about returning to in-person classes can also co-exist: i do wish i could physically go to uni again soon but it also makes me feel really anxious. 

it’s nice that you actually read my rambles this far. i’ve wanted to write a post like this for a long time now and i finally gathered that courage. my asks and messages are always open if anyone wants to talk. sending lots of love to anyone out there also struggling 💌

[ijustneedaplacethaticanventat]

So I feel like shit. All I want to do is cry but really cry not just a few tears or getting teared up like really cry my eyes out.

Everyone and everything feels bad and shitty and I don’t know how to handle myself

I always said that I wanted to talk to a therapist but I also keep putting it off idk why I mean I know why I feel anxious about talking to someone I can’t just laugh it off with and can’t pretend I’m okay with

And I don’t want probably especially my parents to be a part of my experience of talking to someone but if I really want that to happen they will be

I just don’t think I processed anything that happened ever in my life, I feel like I either forgot about or am ignoring it still

Right now I can put my finger on a few things that make me feel like this

A guy. Which is so dumb . I hate that he makes me feel like this and nothing even happened between us. We talked like 4-5 times for like an hour or two each time, he tried to kiss me at the second time we met I didn’t want to and he ended it and I wanted to talk a while after he said okay but rescheduled it (technically he said maybe but …) and I hate that he didn’t text me and I hate that I care because NOTHING Happened and I’m not even sure what I am like I think I’m bi but I honestly don’t know and he is the opposite of everything I thought I would want but here I am pinning over a guy who doesn’t seem to care as much as I do even though at the beginning he was more interested then me which makes it all my fault for taking my time and not being honest with him

On top of that heartstopper is a real stab at my heart. Like it feels so good to watch it but also THOSE scenes with nick just feel to close . Like this makes me feel like an idiot for not being able to understand my self and my sexuality and jealous of the fact that I will never have that at least not in that age and that leve of discovery and innocence

Also that song why am I like this kills me

And I feel like I’m a bad daughter, I never help my parents when I’m home and I talk shit and sass and I’m rude and I’m spoiled and I say I will stop and change and then when I get the chance to act differently I don’t

Also I don’t think anybody in my base like me like even my friends I think they find me annoying (thx for that slap Charlie spring) and I’m always nervous and anxious that I fuck things up work front and that I’m not good but the thing Is no matter how nervous I am I still get the job done and because of that I don’t want to ask for help



I think it is dumb how much effect a show has on my(in this case it is also a book) but like all the little things in Charlies mental health and nick’s sexuality just speaks why too much to me

And I hate how I just spent an hour trying to cry and when I couldn’t I read my old posts on this blog and and a little bit of tears and now I’m laying in bed listening to my sad playlist and writing this because for some reason this helps venting to no one helps 

So basically I know I have anxiety (definitely social anxiety and maybe some more and definitely general anxiety ) and I think I have some kind of depression or something like that or just emotional imbalance that I can’t control

And I feel like shit and am thriving on JOMO at the moment 

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

So I’ve been questioning for a few months now. For a while I kinda knew I was ace but didn’t accept it yet, until yesterday when I told a close friend I thought I was ace. Something just seemed to click when I said it and I felt way more comfortable with that part of my identity. But here’s the weird thing; since I realized I’m ace I’ve suddenly started thinking about romantic relationships completely differently. Like I used to want to get married and have someone I trusted and could tell anything too, even though I never wanted to do anything s*xual with that person. I always liked fictional characters in well written relationships as well. But since realizing I’m ace, suddenly I don’t like that stuff anymore. And it happened like over the course of a few hours and now I’m wondering if I’m aro too. But I guess I’m worried I might be faking it/over reacting cause my perspective changed so fast????? Idk what going on and it’s honestly really terrifying and weird is this a normal thing?? Have you ever heard about something like this happening??

First of all you're not faking or overreacting. Romance is weird? It's a little hard to define and describe and seems to be at least to a point a social construct (what's romantic and how we define relationships is determined at least to a point by cultural norms). There's also a lot of pressure to be romantic and to have romantic feelings. And it can be hard sometimes to figure out how much of it is what you actually want and how much is what you've been told you want.

I think this all makes figuring out if you're aromantic or not particularly tricky.

Honestly I can think of a few possibilities for what might be going on here, from this is just a weird hiccup that may pass, to where it could be romantic orientation being fluid, to you have possibly been aro the whole time and not realised it. Or possibly something else entirely.

It is entirely possible to fake romantic feelings and honestly believe they're real. And this just comes from the intense pressure in our culture to be romantic, and because it's drilled into us that romantic relationships are the only true path to being happy. (This isn't true, there's so many ways to be happy, and there's so many ways to connect to people and find fulfillment. And if these things are important to you, romance is not your only route.)

Some signs that could be going on is feeling romantic feelings in a mostly abstract way, something you want in the future but not something you're desperate for now; being more interested in romance as a concept; being more interested in people who are unattainable; being uncomfortable or anxious when actually in romantic situations. People won't necessarily experience all these things, but they could be things to watch for.

And I'm not saying this is necessarily what's going on with you but I bring it up because one possible explanation could be that by accepting you're ace you've taken some of the pressure off to be romantic and that could cause that shift.

My advice is go slow, and see what happens. It definitely won't hurt to explore the aro community a bit. One of the best things to do when questioning can be following other aro blogs or reading up on aro experiences. One site I really recommend is Arocalypse, which is an aro themed forum. They also a good faq. Checking out aro media is good too, there's a lot of books and podcasts especially and you can find them by searchin for recs. But personally I really recommend the Jughead 2015 run from Archie comics, where Jughead is ace and heavily aro-coded.

And doing this doesn't mean you've decided you're aro, but it can help the possibility seem a lot less scary, and not pushing yourself in one direction or another can make questioning a lot easier. And even if you're not aro it can help you understand yourself and romantic orientation better. It can also be really helpful seeing living complex people who are aro and comfortable with being aro.

No matter what you do not have to redefine your romantic identity overnight. Some people have a lightbulb 'that's me!' moment. But often these things take time, because it's not just realising a label may fit but also changing how you see and perceive yourself. And you definitely don't have to take on any labels you don't feel ready or comfortable taking on.

It's also totally fine to be scared, because this is a huge shift. And the idea of not liking romance, even if you're sure yet, is a genuinely scary one for a lot of people in a culture that really pushes romance as something you have to do or be miserable (again not true).

If you have more questions or want to talk things out a bit more feel free to send in more asks. But hopefully this helps.

Also congrats on telling your friend and accepting that you're ace! That is a huge step.

All the best, Anon!

[ichibanerd]

How to be a Healthier INTP, by an INTP

Create a system and build your day around it. And no, I’m not talking about a schedule because we know we suck at following them. For instance, I bet you forget to drink water if you are not reminded in a way or another. I make sure to drink a glass of water every three hours. “Oh, but wouldn’t that make things harder?” Not at all! I wake up at 6, drink a glass of water. Then again at 9. Then at 12 when I have lunch. And then at 3pm and so on. We’re always looking at the time. Might as well put that to good use. Also! Try to pick three things you want to do the next day before you go to bed. And then switch doing them throughout your day. If I choose to study, update my blog and work out, I might study a little, then go and work out. And then Update. Then back to studying. 

Reward yourself. Between those 3 things sneak in some fun. We’re too impatient to reward ourselves at the end of the day. Start small!

Sleep early and wake up early. Sleep is so important! The better you sleep the easier it will be for you do grasp a hold of your inferior functions. By default we are not very aware of our surroundings. Getting enough sleep will help you keep your mind sharp. If your sleep schedule is disastrous, start slowly. Let’s say you sleep at 3 am. Try going bed one hour earlier than that for a week. And then always reduce the time by an hour week by week. “But I won’t fall sleep even if I lay down.” That’s alright. Try to do things that relax you before bed. Listen to podcasts, play a game on you phone for a bit, read a book. Anything that you find relaxing. 

Use your bed only to sleep and bang. (At least try to reduce the time you lay in your bed.) Seriously, if you’re not going to bed for any of those reasons, don’t go at all.

Never go to bed if you’re hungry. It’ll just make you feel uncomfortable and you’ll have a harder time going to sleep. 

Work out!! This is so important. It’ll help you feel more present in the moment. Teaches you how to be okay with being uncomfortable, creates discipline (which we INxPs really lack)  and it’s good for your health. Also it’ll make you feel more confident with yourself. Start with working out 2 minutes a day. Jumping rope is a good idea as well! Don’t worry to much. You’ll see that soon your time will get longer. 

Try grasping information randomly about the subject you’re studying at least a few days before your exam. We grasp information easier when it’s thrown at us randomly but that in our logic makes a lot of sense. I really don’t know how to explain this that well. But let’s say that you’re learning a foreign language. It’s probably easier for you to learn words at random periods of time, rather than when the teacher makes a list of them and gives it to you expecting you to master them for the upcoming exam. You’ll learn them anyway, I’m sure, but you’ll probably forget them once the exam is over if they didn’t make a logical sense in your brain. 

If you don’t know what you want, then know what you don’t want. A lot of people take the route that will take them to their goal. But what if you don’t have one? Then do your best planning at avoiding things that you don’t want happening. I know this seems obvious, but we often fall down a rabbit hole and forget where we are, or who we are. 

Take alone time even when you’re not feeling apathetically antisocial. Make it clear to people who know you that from x to y time, you want to relax. Soon you’ll have a better grasp of your tendencies to isolate from the world. 

Learn to distinguish your feelings from those of other people. Contrary to popular belief, we’re extremely empathetic thanks to our buddy Fe. And we struggle a lot with emotional outbursts that come from others. If said emotions are too intense, we might get ill even physically. Take deep breaths down to your belly, and use you Ti to logically make sense of the situation. Is there any reason for me to feel sad/angry/hurt/whatever right now? Explain to yourself why you shouldn’t be feeling like that and get the situation back in control.

Don’t let people step on you. Honestly, if someone is taking advantage of your good nature then call them out on it. If they are not willing to talk about it and instead deny the facts, then leave. Do whatever you can to get out of that situation. 

You are more important than what other people expect from you. No matter how nice you are, people will always be unhappy. That said, always give people a chance, and if they miss it that’s on them. You can go back to taking care of yourself.

Realize that you can’t help people who are too stubborn and refuse to help themselves. Don’t beat yourselves over it. Give advice and a helping hand, but if you see that they are not taking them, leave them to take responsibility for themselves. It is absolutely not your job to take upon yourself the responsibility of other’s actions, or the lack of them. I know it sounds harsh, but the sooner you realize this, the better; not only for you, but for those who you tried to help as well.

Don’t share your opinions where you know they are not welcome. Sometimes, people will refuse to see the truth, and that’s on them. Do not try to convince them otherwise. Shrug it off and go on with your day. Often times our ideas seem a bit too ‘out there’ to other people. Especially to certain sensory types (looking at you XSFJ), but of course they are not the only ones. You might have a harder time having a deep conversation with them, but don’t let this stop you. If you see that your idea gets ignored, just sit back and watch the world burn. Have some popcorn while you’re at it.

That said! Don’t be afraid to share your ideas and opinions. Never let fear decide for you. If you’re feeling fearful and anxious just ask yourself: What am I afraid of? List your fears, and then conquer them one by one.

Never allow people to use guilt against you. Realize when people are doing this to manipulate you and break free from it. Realize that whatever happened, happened. It’s okay. Learn from it so it won’t repeat itself and then move on. You don’t need to beat yourself over it every day for the rest of your life. Forgive yourself. We’re human. Mistakes is what we learn from. 

A jack of all trades is a master of none, but oftentimes better than a master of one. Learn to incorporate your inferior functions in your daily life. Look up videos and information on your type and especially pay attention to unhealthy patterns. See if any of them resonate with you. The first step to getting rid of a problem is by acknowledging it. 

Try do get out of your comfort zone sometimes, but don’t go and throw yourself off a cliff. Being out of your comfort zone might be stressful, but it shouldn’t give you a mental breakdown. If you’re feeling that it is too much for you, then retreat (mission failed, we’ll get them next time) but don’t be afraid to try again. However, if it is something that isn’t for you, don’t try to force it upon yourself. Being comfortable is just as important. Try to balance out the two. For example, I am not fond of loud places with a lot of people so going to a pub for me is too much, especially because I’m not interested in whatever is going on there. Going to the gym however is out of my comfort zone, but I enjoy working out, so I’m more willing to try it. After you break your comfort zone enough times it becomes ordinary, and you won’t such a hard time with it anymore. 

Keep a journal to sort out your ideas and things you learned. Especially those that you know will help you to develop your personality. You don’t have to write on it every day. I certainly don’t, but when the need arises I know where to turn to. 

Take notice of the patterns of your life and see what works and what doesn’t for you. 

Use a little bit of that Fe with people you trust. It becomes extremely destructive when we let it sleep and awaken only when our Ti is having a breakdown. Tend to it from time to time. As much as we do not like it, we can’t deny that it is a part of us.

Lastly, go with the flow. Don’t try to control things that are out of your grasp!

That’s it for now. I hope this helps!

[epitheterasedgen]

heck it. self-indulgence time.

✨EE aspec headcanons✨

(obviously, romance mentions below! a few of the characters are Token Allos (TM))

Molly: the aroace kid who's always like "yeah I don't really get romance but I guess I'll get it when I'm older" and keeps saying that until she's almost 30 and finally someone's like "wow you've never dated before?! are you aro/ace?" and she's like "oh huh I guess I probably am" and then it's never a big deal again

she's also super grossed out by the concept of sex, even well into adulthood, which is Yet Another Reason why it is absolutely perfect for Percy to adopt her because it's just a topic that Never comes up in their household

Sylvie: honestly the only character I don't have a solid grasp on in terms of attraction, though I HC swap!Sylvie as alloaro so I guess canon Sylvie is probably the same, it's just not relevant yet since he's young and a late bloomer in terms of hormones. plus he's just focused on his work more than anything else

Gio: I fear what Jello is going to do to him in the future, bc this boy gives off the MOST oblivious aromantic vibes EVER and I know Jello's track record. but listen idc what happens in canon, Giovanni's dream future is to live with all his Boys as platonic housemates and he has no idea he's aro because romance literally isn't something he even THINKS about. he's probably also ace with the same reasoning

Mera: my Token Allo (TM). she's a die-hard hopeless romantic and moronsexual, but that's not really headcanon that's just canon I mean cmon—

Indus: it took me a stupidly long time to realize that my interpretation of Indus is just "romance-positive partnering aro" because that's not a genre I dip into a lot but it sure fits him. he doesn't really! understand romance?? or actually feel "romantic" attraction. but he likes Lady Mera and he'd do anything to make her happy! :D so if she wants him to bring her flowers and a candlelit dinner, he'll do it!! she just better be prepared for him to pick a bunch of dandelion weeds and accidentally set the table on fire

...actually now that I'm typing this out, it explains why Mera/Indus bothers me so much less than other ships aghasdkflgh

Percy: realistically she's just the Oblivious Aroace (TM) along with Giovanni. same as Gio she has no idea she's aroace because it's just not even something she Thinks about, but if someone gave her a vocabulary lesson she'd be like "oh yes that fits me :)" and continue to not perceive romantic advancements even if they hit her in the face. she's already married to JUSTICE, sorry everyone <3

(I portray her as more apothiromantic/romance-repulsed on my RP blog but that's just because projecting onto Percy is cheaper than therapy)

Ramsey: ok highkey my headcanons on Ramsey shift depending on the AU (don't ask how many AUs I have hahaha) but normally he falls somewhere in the range of "allo ally" who Knows All The Terms (from spending so much time online) and is probably the person who gives Percy a vocabulary lesson despite being allo himself

Zora: as much as I'd LOVE to see an aspec Zora, I think she'd look and act a bit different from canon Zora. I swear I didn't mean to make both main antagonists the Token Allos, but they're also the ones most fans want to date so y'know what, whatever. I personally think cowboys are overrated but y'all go crazy

Howie: CANON AROACE KING... specifically I imagine him as anti-romance, not because it repulses him, but because all that time you waste on "love" could be used for DOING YOUR JOB!!! (in a serious setting I'd say Howie isn't ideal aro rep bc he embodies a lot of negative stereotypes about aros, but EE is a comedy and people need to lighten up about the fact that EVERYONE is gonna have weirdly exaggerated personality traits; the show literally wouldn't be funny if they didn't; seriously guys leave Jello alone about the rep)

Meryl: ok she's not in EE but this is MY blog and I pick the comfort characters! anyway Meryl experiences a lot of alterous attraction AKA she has trouble distinguishing between very different forms of attraction (platonic/romantic/sensual/sexual/ect.) and they all just sorta blur together into one big Anxious Mess (TM). as opposed to Percy and Gio, she spends a LOT of time thinking about this and trying to figure out What she's feeling, but it never helps and at this point she's pretty much given up trying. she just needs a hug ok

in various AUs I've put her in romantic, platonic, QPP, and co-parental relationships, and she's pretty much happy with whatever :)

Eros: I feel the need to include him because I included Meryl, also bc while he is allo as heck and has definitely dated in the past, he's also just a super uplifting guy who uses flirting as a form of affection and to make people feel good. he's one of those "somehow weirdly pure" characters because he's so unabashed about everything and most of his flirting is sphallolalia, which is one of my new favorite words I just learned and means "flirting that leads nowhere." he also just has a deep appreciation for a good laugh, and a lot of his joke wells are pickup lines!

[jehovahhthickness]

Hi Billie! I have to say I’ve been reading your blog on and off for a few years and I have to say I’m surprised to see you have anon on! Not in a condescending way or anything I just know a while back you had it off to avoid weirdos and I’m glad you opened it back up, hope no weirdos are still bothering you. And I did want to ask your advice/take on this

I’m turning 24 in 2 months. I know it’s quite young but I also feel like I’m getting older and I have nothing to show for what. I don’t do anything but work from home. I live with my mom. I’m happy that I’m working, I’m paying off my loans, I started investing and I’m not ashamed of living with my mom because I’m saving so much money and time here (even if she does irritate the hell out of me from time to time as she’s also working from home.) I think the thing that I’m most bummed out about is how non existent my social/love/sex life is.

I’m turning 24 and I’ve never been kissed, never had a boyfriend, never been on a date, never had sex. It kind of bums me out seeing that I’ve never done these things because of my strict parents, focus on school, and overall anxiety, shyness, and nonexistent self esteem. I’m quite nerdy with big glasses, not too attractive honestly, very shy and socially anxious, not good at talking to people I don’t know (I have improved significantly but just making friends and dating is a whole other demon). I look 15 and I feel like I dress and act like it. All of the people I know have done something one way or another and I hate being the odd one out. I feel as though I’m only meant to watch people do these things not experience it myself.

My only option is dating apps and I feel like this is hard for me too because I’m so conscious of myself and others. Somehow it can worse talking to someone through messaging? And I have weird standards where I don’t want someone too ugly or too attractive or someone with fuckboy vibes 😂 never got pass that stage but I do dread all of that. Dating confuses me, relationships confuse me, sex confused me. It’s also so scary and overwhelming, hearing stories and advice of all degrees. I do think I want to do these things but I feel like so many people my age have “experience” and it’s getting too late to do these things? I don’t think I’ll ever catch up? Just feeling a bit hopeless and bummed out about how this aspect of my life has turned out and is continuing to be. Thank you for listening

Aw hi my fellow late bloomer 💓

I genuinely feel like you’re putting way too much pressure on yourself and it’s so unfair because society does that enough.

I definitely relate to having super strict parents who basically forbade you to date and have friends and to just focus on school. Which I think is such a huge disservice that they did to us because we have to spend 95% of our lives being social and we need to learn how to properly communicate with others and that shit starts at home!!!

I legit had the same conversation last night with a friend who just turned 20 this year.

I totally feel you on pretty much everything you said. Even though I’m a little more experienced than you, I still feel like I’m not as experienced as everybody else when it comes to dating and having sex. I find myself just watching life pass me by as well. It fucking sucks.

As far as your looks … you say you look 15, is it because you still live at home and have no control over your clothing choices? Or is it that you don’t know where to start when it comes to dressing yourself? If you wanna switch up your look, there are so many blogs and YouTube channels where you can find people with your body type and the style you want to have and start there for inspiration.

As far as social anxiety goes, which I have as well but I feel like it stems from being uncomfortable and being forced to be around people I don’t like.

But when I am around people I do like, I’m more comfortable and outgoing. I’m wondering if it’s the same for you?

Your 20s is such a really confusing ass time and I want you to know that it’s fucking ok that you don’t have all the answers or know where to start.

I just feel like you’re literally just getting started with your life and so you have sooo much time ahead of you to have all of these fun and exciting experiences.

I highly suggest that you take it one day at a time. You tackle your self confidence and body image right now. Then your social anxiety and learning to speak to people without screaming on the inside later on. Etc etc

You do what you’re comfortable doing right now.

You’re going to be just fine and everything will fall into place for you. Just remember that not all flowers bloom at the same time, babe.

[uno-writing]

Sera fluff, we need to make her masterlist longer.

Omg, I remember when the first Arlo simp hours came in? And like. Ur blog was just ALL Arlo. Like literally? And now it's almost gone? We have mainly main cast hcs. Like everyone has collectively decided that he's gotten enough attention already.

Lmao unrelated I remember sending some sort of ask (I'll have to go thru and find out which one) and being super nervous abt it bc my friend spooked me? Like for some reason she was like "yea they're gonna hate it and never reply" and she was joking but I took it one hundo p seriously. And then u replied, like, normally, the way u usually do, but I was like NOOOOOO (for some reason?) Bc u had replied to a previous ask while saying that u rlly liked it and had a lot of fun, but u didn't do that w mine so I just assumed u hated it, and me (not ur fault, I'm just an idiot) anyway I shamefacedly lurk for a while thinking that I'll just never show face around this blog again and then the Arlo simps started appearing in legions and I finally sent in an ask for Arlo fluff, terrified, and then u responded, COMPLETELY NORMALLY, I realized I just,,,, psyched myself out so bad for no reason all. Like I was convinced u hated me, I swear, and then I felt kinda dumb

Anyway,,, I had asked for sera fluff

Yes it's necessary that I send in like five long asks at once and then just lurk for a week

-boba anon 🧋

Omg yes. I was curious so I went through my Archive the other day and I had a few posts here and there and then January hit and oh my. It just exploded lol I think people started to be like ‘okay Arlo you need to take a step back’ when I had to make the second Arlo masterlist lmao

For anyone else who’s nervous about sending in and ask, I genuinely LOVE all of the asks I get. Like it doesn’t matter what they are, if they’re like a 5 page long ask or if it’s just an interaction, I get so happy when I see them. I would say that I love every ask and that I had fun with them on every post bc I honestly feel that way, but with me getting so many asks daily it’d start to get redundant and lose meaning lol But, I mean, obviously I love and have fun with every ask I get. I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t lol

For the most part, I only really outright say I enjoyed/had fun with an ask when the anon is overly apologetic just bc I wanna hype them up and make them feel more comfortable ig😅 That doesn’t mean I’m lying about it or anything bc I honestly love all of my asks, I just want everyone interacting to feel comfortable in the asks they send.

Ig that kinda bit me in the ass a bit since it made you more nervous lol I mean, I get it. I still get anxious about posting things that aren't requested just bc lol Tbh I was SWEATING over posting that first simp hours lmao It sat in my drafts for 2 days and I reread it about 15 million times before I posted it😅

But I honestly really really love all of you and the asks you send and I want everyone to have as much fun here as I do!!<3 <3🍿🥤🍭🍬🍫🧋🥨🥬🍦🍧🧊🐇🍩

Also your first 2 asks were JohnxSera HC and then a matchup request on November 13th, in case you were curious!! Unless you actually went anon before then lol

Y/N turns their head slightly towards the couple of musicians playing on the curbside. A fun thought crosses their mind and they tug on Sera’s hand, gently pulling her out of the way of oncoming passers before swaying her to the music.

“What are you doing?” Sera asks, her body stiff.

“Dancing with you.” Y/N laughs, moving funkily to try and get Sera to join them.

“I’ll watch.” Sera starts to walk away but Y/N pulls her back, their free hand falling to her waist and they smile at her.

“C’mon. It’s fun.” Y/N encourages, gently swaying Sera’s hips to the music. After a moment of hesitation Sera gives in, slowly dancing along with Y/N.

“There you go!” Y/N cheers, pressing a happy kiss to Sera’s cheek. Sera rolls her eyes, unable to hide the smile on her face. Y/N pulls away slightly and spins Sera before pulling Sera back into them. Sera rests her head on their shoulder, her smile now hidden by their neck.

[zevlors-tail]

Poly TodoDeku x Reader Panic Attack HC’s

Pairing: POLY Shouto x Reader x Izuku

Warnings: Panic Attack, detailed description of said attack.

A/N: Once again, both boys are aged 21+ and both are Pro Heroes in this. GN Reader. This is not what I wanted to post tonight but it happened anyway. I’m having a TIME. Hopefully this brings some comfort to others, too. Also, I came back later to add some fluff at the end so that it wasn’t so sad and angsty. Not sure if I like these but here you go!

I think at this point my blog is just turning into all Poly TodoDeku x Reader stuff lmao.

TodoDeku X Reader - Panic Attack Headcanons

-Both Izuku and Todoroki just so happen to be away at work when it happens. You’re the first one home so you have the house to yourself for a bit, but you know one of them should be home soon.

-You’d been feeling anxious earlier in the day but you brushed it off as normal for you and decided that you were doing just fine. But all of the sudden it hits you full force and what starts as a sense of impending doom quickly turns into panic and trembling.

-The only safe place you can think of is the bedroom, so you make a bee line for it before you lose your sense of self and crawl under the covers. You don’t bother to turn the lights on. In fact you pull the covers over your head to hide yourself from the world, as if that will somehow protect you from all the feelings swirling inside your chest and the sound of blood rushing through your ears.

-And that’s where Todoroki finds you when he gets home 15 minutes later, shaking like a leaf and curled in on yourself while you try your best to stifle sobs into the bed sheets.

-He instantly makes his way to your side to see how he can help at all. He knows you might need space but he needs to be there, needs to be in the same room, if only for his own sake of making sure nothing bad happens to you or that you don’t hurt yourself.

“Y/N- Hey, it’s me, it’s Shouto. I’m right here, babe. How can I help?” He’s so sincere when he says it. You can’t really respond though; you don’t have the capacity to do so at the moment.

-Instead you peek out from behind the covers slightly and blindly reach out your hand to grasp his. He senses what you’re trying to do and immediately interlocks his fingers with yours and squeezes to let you know he’s there. 

-You squeeze back as hard as you can; it’s your way of begging him not to leave you here alone (not that he ever would) and letting him know it’s okay to stay. Its such a small gesture but it helps ground you a bit and keeps you tethered to something.

-A few minutes later Izuku strides in through the front door with a happy, “I’m home!” to which Shouto responds, “In the bedroom,” although not nearly as cheery sounding as your green haired counter part. Cue Izuku immediately knowing that something is wrong and rushing to the bedroom to see what’s going on.

-Izuku is extremely observant and analytical and knows right away what’s happening. He’s very aware of your anxieties and both boys have seen you when you’re an anxious mess, have witnessed you breaking down during anxiety attacks, but this is different.

-It breaks both of their hearts to see you incapacitated like this.

-Izuku slides onto the bed next to Shouto and begins walking you through breathing exercises to help calm you. His voice is so gentle and calm, and soon you feel like the air is returning to your lungs.

-You’re not sure how much time has passed when you finally shift under the covers and relax a bit, your breathing still a bit shaky and eyes still a little wet.

-Todoroki never once let go of your hand. Even as you peel back the covers and hesitantly greet your boyfriends, he's still holding it tightly.

-Midoriya wants to leave and make you some tea to calm you down after the whole ordeal, but of course this precious baby asks if it’s alright to leave you, even if just for a moment.

-If you tell him yes, he’ll either make you chamomile and lavender tea with honey or peppermint tea to help calm your nerves and muscles.

-If not, he’ll stay until you say otherwise.

-On the other hand, Todoroki wouldn’t dare leave your side for the rest of the night. Not for anything.

-Having a panic attack is utterly exhausting in general, and you’ll probably just want to sleep or rest for a while after. You can count on both boys to cuddle you and love on you until it’s an afterthought.

-And if you have any trouble sleeping or relaxing, they’re both there to wipe away any tears that may be shed and chase away any nightmares that plague your mind.

-Because how could you not feel safe and secure, wrapped up in two of the strongest and most loving  pair of arms? They would never let anything hurt you, not even yourself.

-Honestly, it’s probably the most restful sleep you’ve had in ages.

-They would do anything to help make you feel better.

-Comfort food or takeout for dinner, courtesy of Izuku since Shouto is attached to you at the hip for the rest of the night.

-The three of you put on your favorite feel-good movie after dinner and cuddle the whole time; Shouto is in the right corner of the couch leaning to the side, you’re leaning into his left side with your legs sprawled out, and Izuku is basically laying on you and using you as a pillow. Not that you mind.

-You and Izuku fall asleep like that and end up hugging each other like koalas half way through the movie.

-Todoroki has to carry the two of you to the bedroom and tuck you in before he joins you for the night.

Bonus HC’s:

-Izuku is like a furnace when he sleeps, even without his shirt or pants. Literally will sweat like no other.

-So it’s safe to say that when you both are holding on to each other for dear life, you’re going to start burning up from all the excess heat.

-Both of you are glistening in sweat and radiating warmth after a while, discomfort evident on your faces even while asleep. Except Midoriya is clingy, and WILL NOT let go of you for the life of him.

-Luckily...Shouto is kind of like a personal AC unit! What a perfect mix, the three of you.

-All he has to do is crawl next to the two of you and drape an arm over you to cool you both down. You all sleep peacefully after that. <3

[dystopiandilfs]

I am never been so close to anti-stan then I am right now. Dreams Twitter fanbase started the biggest hate train on him because they themselves:

1. Took his inital tweet with the drugs comment as a race issue, like it was obvious that was not the intent or even the focus.

2. Got mad at his completely rational reply to a toxic Stan that used both white and adhd as an isult - the toxic Stan was saying his fanbase will dogpile them, well if you didn’t phrase your concerns in a toxic way in a public place maybe you wouldn’t be concerned about it. Like he empasised he had no intent to relate it to rap - and they see him say rap and fucking ran with it.

3. Got mad at him for disagreeing with someone generalizing his 23 million fans as anti-black, like even his stance on stans is entirely anti-generalizing, he literally denounced any that are in the same comment.

4. Bullied him into unprivating his account because they can’t share screenshots apparently.

5. Got mad a him for tweeting a fucking heart.

Then they turn around and blame the entire thing on the antis, like no. You blew it out of proportion and reacted like shit to everything he did. You are the problem. All the responses to his last tweet are “educate yourself and reflect” and “come back with a better apology” like no. He apologized when he shouldn’t have and you cyber bullied him. They are bloody proud of theirselves for “holding him accountable“ for something they misconstrued.

He needs to delete that stan video because they aren’t worth it.

First thing i want to say is that this post is going to be joint answered as evangeline is white so this is going to be answered by her and me as im half african half american. Normally evanageline would be voicing her opinions and adding ours in if we had any but as its a racism issue she didnt feel comfortable to voice only her opinions. However shes the one writing the post apart from this bit to keep up the consistentcy of the blog page. -Trinity (Basically Trin gave her thoughts using a voice note and I slightly edited it so the sentences were a bit more coherent and added both mine and the other admins opinions as Trin doesn't really use twitter unless it's through my priv account - Evangeline)

I will say that a lot of the fan drama that you see are a smaller group that is known to attack and harass Dream and anyone who disagrees with anything. Eventhough they are a small group they mass reply to everything and make themselves look bigger than they are. Not only that but the only thing they end up doing is overshadowing the original issue at hand which is fans harassing and being racist to eachother. So a lot of what I'm about to say is mainly what this group is doing and isn't at all a reflection of a lot of fans but it is something that needs to be talked about especially since a bunch of this groups members are either white or white passing but get mad on black people's behalf and is basically setting them up.

I don't mean to be rude or dismissive but a lot of people used this as an opportunity to trauma dump. Like I know going into horrible details about what you have to deal with is the only way to get the point across sometimes however harassing Dream and spamming him with stuff like "I was harassed because I'm gay" "I was doxxed because I was Asian" is lowkey weird. Like why are you telling this random guy on the internet that you were doxxed? What is he going to be able to do about it? Also not to defend Dream but how are you going to sit there and break one of his few boundaries whilst trying to educate him.

On top of that the issue was originally how racist some of the fandom are to black people but then other minority groups started talking about how they were also being stereotyped and attacked but all this is doing is talking over other minorities. For example a large group of fans started off talking about how they were being attacked by other stans because of their skin colour but then immediately started to harass and threaten others. Like some were clearly not being serious but dming people and update accounts to retweet and spread awareness isn't the move you think it is. Obviously a lot of them were genuinely trying to spread awareness and were trying to get the respect and treatment they deserve but all of that was being overshadowed by the few that were attacking and harassing creators and fans. Then a lot of it turned into minorites fighting each other over who was more oppressed which just makes the whole thing seem like petty drama.

I will say a lot of them were lovely. I am pretty uneducated on race based issues and how certain things effect people and can be racist so I was asking a lot of questions and most of them were nice. However I also got a lot of snarky ones like "google it" to questions that weren't general like "Is it mocking to call white people crackers and token white boy if you are a white person" or "is ______ considered micro aggressions"

However as usual it went from trying to educate your creators to who is the most oppressed and who can bring up more past drama that has already been addressed multiple times. I'm not being funny but the fact that some well known Dream antis were defending Dream and shitting on stans should really tell you how non productive this is. It went from "Hey Dream this comment is a bit weird can you delete it please" to "Dream you should stop being friends with this person and you should follow this person otherwise your racist" Like that's not helping anyone. The only thing that it's doing is breaking Dreams boundaries, setting Dream up and making stans look bad.

Like people were @ing Sapnap and George telling them to "collect the racist friend" like how is that spreading awareness. The whole thing went from being a good chance to educate to a big fucking joke that just made a lot of people upset and anxious.

Honestly the whole thing was pretty fucking hypocritical like you can't talk about being harassed whilst harassing people into hearing you out. A lot of the issues seemed really gatekeepy to me as well. One that I saw constantly get brought up was that the only people allowed to say dy*e were black lesbians as they created the word. Like a big topic was a misuse of aave but not a single person actual explained what it was or gave examples all I saw was "mcyttwt needs to stop using aave language it's offensive" like you can't claim to be educating people if you don't explain. Not everyone can access websites and caards that get linked because of regions or web rescrictions so they're not helpful either.

HOWEVER I will agree that a lot of their points were completely valid like the whole thing of "Feral Feb" over shadowing BHM and whenever Dream listens to rap people complain and call it bad music are two really good examples. I listened to a few twitter spaces to learn a bit more and things that were said in there was all good info that would be genuinely helpful to know and it really did help edcuate me however not a single tweet said any of it and that's why people don't understand what they're doing is wrong because nobody explains it.

A lot of the issues that people had with Dream were so weird as well like a lot of them were self oppression and turning normal things into racism. A lot of the issues had the same energy as the 404twt fans who were genuinely mad at Dream for having a colour that George couldn't see and they were harassing him and claiming that he was purposely excluding diasbilities.

Usually we would add more but Trinity got a bit upset and stressed so she had to stop answering various asks and the other admins are all white or white passing and don't feel like it's our place to put our own opinions. We will try to answer other asks with similar thoughts later - Evangeline

[seijorhi]

asks :)

i’m sorry i’m bad at answering these i love you guys

I just adore fics like these, outside characters seeing through yandere facades and putting the pieces together. Atsumu’s frustration at knowing something is wrong but not being able to convey it without sounding crazy or jealous (and then exactly that happens), and then his mental agony at realizing he’s right but powerless. Ugh and the piece de resistance was his own inner turmoil at his attraction, it was just *chef’s kiss*. Do you think Atsumu became a bit of a lowkey yandere in his own way just obscured with a savior complex? Poor reader if she ever ends up his clutches, swapping one crazed man for another only Atsumu will never see himself as the bad guy. Thanks for the time and effort you put into such amazing writing!!

poor atsumu, i really put him through the wringer on this one :(( he starts with good intentions, but you know what they say about those haha. i honestly think he’s kinda fucked, because on the one hand he has everybody telling him he’s being a creeper, making mountains out of molehills, because how could hinata possibly do anything like that? and on the other he’s got hinata who’s not only aware of his suspicions but kinda pushing him to snap but dangling the reader in front of him. which way he falls is kinda up to you, but i think the fact he jerked off to a blowjob she clearly didn’t want says a lot about what he’s willing to (temporarily at least) overlook.

(English is not my first language so if I make grammar mistakes i'm sorry :( )

I got chills while reading insidious! It was so amazing. I really appreciated how you wrote that in Atsumu's perspective and made him an unreliable narrator.

It reminds me of the old drabble that you did with BokuAka where they kidnapped their manager and wrote it in Konoha's perspective. In that drabble, while Konoha did act selfishly, I still felt that he was a good person overall.

But in this fic, despite Atsumu claiming that Hinata and y/n's relationship was toxic and wrong, he still felt jealous. He wanted to be in Hinata's place. He wanted what Hinata had with y/n. I don't think his issue with them was because their relationship was toxic (maybe it was in the beginning), he just wanted it to be him who's with her. And that's the brilliance of this fic, seeing not only how unsettling Hinata's relationship was but also seeing Atsumu also slowly becoming obssessed.

first of all, never apologise for your english or any language for that matter. you’re doing great bby! but i’m glad you liked the fic!! <33 i can’t resist morally corrupting a character with good intentions. poor tsumu. poor konoha :((

Oof Hinata is terrifying and you wrote him so so so in character, like damn. He’s so happy like he’s just not a dark person which makes it so jarring bc he himself might not even register his actions as bad. I would love to see more content with him bc you got a girl scared and horny! But just wow I was on the edge of my seat!

ahh thank you my love!!

this is kinda random but i’m happy that i finally don’t have to type your full @ on the search bar to get to your blog anymore!!!!! also your new hinata ft atsumu fic literally sent chills down my spine. it kinda disturbed me how nobody (except atsumu) is questioning hinata’s character because hinata the always positive bundle of joy and sunshine can’t be capable of doing such things right? and how hinata is aware of atsumu’s suspicions ANDattraction towards his girl so he plays these little mind games with atsumu while maintaining that happy go lucky smile on his face acting like everything is normal. i just love your writing so much i literally visit your blog often for new updates😭

ahh i wished i had more updates for you haha! it’s really the worst when nobody believes something you think is painfully obvious. and hinata’s sunshine and sweet and super adoring, so why would anyone think twice about his relationship with the reader? and it doesn’t help that he’s toeing the line (before jumping right across it) between genuine concern and a little bit of attraction, but that’s half the fun haha. thanks for the ask bby!

Ok but you write Atsumu pining for the reader in a relationship so well. Inescapable Atsumu vs Oikawa is so good, the desperation, the crying *chefs kiss* Insidious is a diff Atsumu, more caring but thirsty all the same. Bokuto and co.s reaction is so funny 😭 they literally said you need to chill a little Atsumu

(Maybe we need to make this a full circle and make Atsumu pine for Osamus S.O. eye-)

i’m so mean to atsumu in both of those fics. dw i’ll make it up to him haha <33

It’s been said before but your Hinata fic was AMAZING and just so scarily in character. Hinata is definitely one of the scariest yanderes because he’s so unsuspecting and who would believe such a cheerful person is capable?!? It was just so well-written, I loved how you wrote Atsumu’s rising suspicions (especially how he can’t really prove anything bc it’s Hinata of all ppl) and his own descent into obsession and everyone’s reaction to him. It was so deliciously twisted and you can’t help but pity reader in what we can assume is her little sliver of hope that she can be saved bc someone finally noticed. Just chills.

thank you so much, bby! hinata does give off those vibes, and who would suspect him because he’s so attentive and bright and bubbly. i’m glad you liked it!! <33

Rhi RHHHHIIII Insidious was spot on. Rabid was just 👌👌 mmm and I've just realized how good you are at capturing a character's pov, like Atsumu's was on the money for capturing the confusion and unsettling feeling and it was so effective i feel like 👀😳 @ hinata now lmaoo

I WAS THE LAST ASK TALKING ABOUT POVS BUT I FORGOT SOMETHIIINGG. DAICHI'S POV. DAICHI'S POVVVV 👏👏👏 I could feel myself feeling his frustration and anger (I wanted him to whip oikawa's ass so bad fr) and his piecing together of things made me feel so awful and anxious, but like in a good way!! Writing is suppose to make you feel things and your fics always, always accomplish that 🤍

ahh nonnie, thank you so much! i like to get inside of the character’s head and fuck with their emotions and stuff, it’s super fun so i’m glad you guys enjoy it!! ily!! <3

oo Hinata as a yandere is so scary bc he's so sweet and caring. BUt he's also sincere and earnest about everything and who's to say that passion won't carry into darker activities 👀

you get it anon haha. he’s honestly a little terrifying but i still want him to spit in my mouth y’know??

i just finished reading insidiuous--it was FANTASGTIC SHDFJDSHFJ the way that atsumu crossed a line he couldn't come back from and was just,,,, rightfully consumed with shame for it?? that was great. also loved reading how hinata knew what he was doing and was doing it purposely, but poor reader. my heart goes out to reader.

thank you so much, bby!! i’m glad you liked it <33 

God, you have no idea how much I loved Rabid. I read it probably like 5 times in a row the first time. How do you imagine what happens to reader afterwards? I wonder if he’d end up taking her back to his place, or how does he interact with her afterwards? I’m sorry if this is annoying, I’m just so in love with the story 🥺💕

ahh thank you so much! as for what happens afterwards, you’re definitely kyoutani’s girl. if you think he’s just gonna let you go back to your place, keep working your job, you’ve got another thing coming. he tries to be gentle. a good boyfriend. he’ll definitely pick up on you shaking after he’s finished up; but he’ll misinterpret it as you being cold and make you wear his jacket haha.

Have u permanently closed commissions?

not necessarily, just taking a break :))