#fuck you king leopold

[moistvonlipwig]

ouat certainly could've done a better job exploring the damage leopold did to regina in depth and calling it out for what it was but to say that him coming off as a creep was 'unintentional' is genuinely ridiculous. a&e have repeatedly stated that regina was 17-18 in "the stable boy" and that leopold remembered and recognized cora in that episode. they deliberately wrote regina not consenting to her marriage with him and emphasized this in multiple episodes. they deliberately wrote leopold locking her up and invading her privacy. they deliberately framed the flashback where regina has him killed around the theme of wanting freedom from imprisonment. they deliberately wrote leopold getting engaged to regina's mother in the characters' backstories. they deliberately wrote regina criticizing his treatment of her decades after the marriage had ended and snow accepting this criticism. they deliberately wrote regina never apologizing for killing him and snow never asking her to. they also deliberately named him king leopold which is not a name you give to a character the audience is supposed to like. oh and they deliberately cast richard schiff to play him who is not an actor you cast to play a simple sweet character with no depth.

i know a&e have a dubious track record with writing about consent but they knew precisely what they were doing when they wrote a story about a teenage girl being forced to marry a man three times her age who was literally her mother's ex, who held absolute monarchical power over his young wife and happily used it to control her, and who was named after one of the most evil men to ever walk the earth. they did not fail to write a kind man, they wrote him as what he is -- a rapist and abuser. you are doing ouat, and regina's story in particular, a massive disservice if you think otherwise.

[4ever-the-nme]

Nah, fuck that shit!

I’ll say it again, please just grit your teeth and vote for Biden…

[worlds-worst-ships]

Do you seriously, actually ship it?

Okay. Lets talk. Because apparently some of you are defending... well... "that" (under the cut)

"He's autistic! It was a stim!"

If you genuinely think that this has ANYTHING to do with autism, you are an objectively stupid person. Like, your brain is so fucking smooth, it puts the surface of freshly tempered glass to shame. You're a barely functional reprobate with subhuman intelligence who has no idea how to form thoughts so you let a 50 year old billionaire who spends too much time on his phone decide your thought process for you.

"He was throwing his heart out to the crowd!"

Now, I don't really play baseball, basketball, netball, or any sport where you throw anything other than sometimes darts, but... is that how you throw? You perfectly extend your arm at that angle? Twice? After spending years posting tweets that very much align with Nazi viewpoints? Do you throw a pitch in baseball and scream SIEG HEIL as the ball hurtles towards your opponent? No. Stop being a fucking idiot. This was deliberate. He did it twice.

"He's autistic! He doesn't know better!"

Please comment if you actually think this so I can personally call you a stupid cunt and block you. We absolutely do know better. Autism and Nazism aren't mutually exclusive.

"You're inhibiting his free speech!"

1st amendment only applies to censorship from government positions of power, which I am not, as should be obvious from the fact that I have no power to censor him. Though I shouldn't have to explain that.

"Well, he's gonna get away with it so stop being so sensitive!"

Yes. He is. But that's not a flex, that's A FUCKING MASSIVE PROBLEM. Call me sensitive if you want, but absolutely every single one of you should be offended by this. Did you pay attention in history class, or were you too tired after a long night of being fucking railed raw and bone dry by propaganda on Twitter? Moron.

"Well, he's rich and you're not, so there!"

Yep. Got me there. He's rich, and I'm not. Yknow, Hitler and a lot of Nazi officers were pretty minted too. So was Epstein, King Leopold, Stalin, Jimmy Saville, every MP currently serving in parliament... but sure, they're great people because they're rich, right?

"You're just a stupid offended libtard!"

Google "The Holocaust".

"Well, you're still using his app!"

His app? You mean the one he bought, then fucking ruined because he has no idea how to run it, right? And you because its basically impossible to find mutuals as a vtuber without it, you knew that, right? "His" app, please, you probably think Ronald McDonald makes your burger when you order McDonalds, you moron.

"If we punish Elon for this, then that's a violation of the first amendment!"

You mean like banning tiktok, removing any and all talk of election rigging, then putting it back up the next day? Or maybe like deleting any criticisms of you and your nazi salutes under your recent tweets despite it blowing up everywhere else? Or does that not count because its something you agree with? Yeah. You've been cucked harder than Sneako and you don't even realize it. Elon and his government buddies are leaving your free speech rights looking like this

Aaaaanyway

I find it well and truly laughable that so many people like Elon will say all this insane shit and do all these fucking heinous things and people will defend them. Like how that gun woman who shit herself says stuff like "I'm not homophobic, I just think gay people are disgusting and that they should die" or that comedian nobody finds funny anymore spends hours whining about trans people but says he's not transphobic.

Lets all be on the same page for once and have the balls to say what we actually think. Elon got so close, but being a spineless edgelord who doesn't have the balls to just say what he thinks out loud is quite the weakness.

[edablair]

Hi!! This thing probably came out a little (not a little) OOC, but it's my vision of the character and my headcanons, so you have every right to disagree with them (as if you needed my permission ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ)

(English is not my first language! There may be grammatical or/and punctuation mistakes)

𝙇𝙚𝙤𝙥𝙤𝙡𝙙 𝙈𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩𝙗𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙣 𝙉𝙎𝙁𝙒 𝘼𝙡𝙥𝙝𝙖𝙗𝙚𝙩

.•★•.

★ Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

The king of aftercare. He'll be sure to ask if you're okay. Does it hurt? Did he overdo it? Are you thirsty? Hungry? Run a bath? He just loves you and cares about you. He doesn't want to be the cause of your discomfort.

★ Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Leopold loves everything about you: your beautiful, soft breasts, which he lovingly lavishes with tender kisses; your wonderful thighs, which he squeezes almost possessively every time; your face, which conveys all your pleasure, especially that blissful smile you give him after you've cum. The list could go on, but the point is that of all of these, your hands are the ones he loves a little bit more. The way your delicate fingers gently touch him, running from his shoulders, down his chest, and down further and further... So, yes. Your hands.

Not exactly a body part, but I think he loves his hair. He likes the contrast between the way you play with them gently and lovingly in a non-sexual context and the way you roughly pull them when he eats you out to show him where it feels good.

★ Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

I think he's kind of squeamish about it. He doesn't mind your cum, but he does mind his own cum. Cum on his fingers, on his face, on his cock, he'll take it as a reward. But when he cum, he feels dirty and feels like he's dirtying you. When he comes on your tummy, on your hand, or on your face, he can't help but apologize and the first thing he does is look for something to wipe the white nasty stuff off you. Why do I think that? I don't know. But this my headcanon, so Idgaf :P

★ Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Sometimes his pride gets in the way, and this one is no exception. Leo never admits it, but maybe, just maybe, he enjoys eating you out more than he should. Why does he consider it his dirty secret? Well, he generally finds the concept of giving a head very vulgar, perversely dirty. That's why he gets embarrassed every time you try to go down on him. But if you ask for it? Well, who is he to deny his precious woman?

★ Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

I've been reading stuff from my favorite writer ( @rosenclaws hi!! ) where he is a virgin and I like it, a lot. But I don't think Leopold is inexperienced. I mean, come on, he's 30 (or over it). I think he had some experience, after which he accordingly drew conclusions and realized: sex with a person with whom there is no special connection is not the thing. So, in your guys first time, he definitely know what he's doing.

★ Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Missionary definitely. Eye contact during the process is important to him. He wants to see your face, to look into your eyes clouded with pleasure, to be able to reach your soft lips.

The cowgirl is also go. I mean, he'd rather he give you pleasure, and in this position, you do most of the work. But if that's what you want, then again, who is he to deny his precious lady?

★ Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Serious. Very serious. Okay, maybe not very. There may be the occasional little gigglee with chuckles slips in, but mostly, he's serious.

★ Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He's hairy. Not super hairy, but like... any normal man? A little bit of chest hair and a pretty trail from his belly button down to his groin area.

He's not shaved, but he's neatly trimmed. Did you see what the fuck they shaved with in the 19th century? I wouldn't shave my private parts with that stuff either...

★ Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Sex for Leopold is an act not only of coitus of bodies, but also of souls. I like an expression I've seen in some headcanons. "He doesn't fuck, he makes love." And that expression, in my opinion, accurately describes him.

Tomorous foreplay with gentle touches and loving, unhurried kisses. Gentle words, compliments that whispers remain on the skin. It's all a necessary part of the process. What is the point of sex, if not to spill out all your love and affection for your partner during it?

★ Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

I think he jerked off in his youth, well... enough. He was a boy, hormones were running wild, and his uncle was always getting on his nerves. It was one way to blow off steam quickly.

He doesn't do it very often now. Why would he when he has you? I don't mean that he uses you at any moment, but then when he feels the need for you, he will very temptingly offer to help you relax after a day at work.

★ Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Praise kink. Both giving and receiving. He'll shower you with compliments, tell you how beautiful you are, how delightful you are, how breathtaking you are, and many other highly literalized words. In return, tell him how well he's doing, how good he's doing you, and he'll turn into a puddle in your arms.

★ Location (favorite places to do the do)

Bedroom. It's cozy there, it's comfortable, it's easier to create an atmosphere of intimacy, and no one will disturb you. A couch in the living room? Under question with a small grimace "meh", but it can also go.

Other places Leopold does not perceive. Bathroom? Injury hazard. Kitchen? You cook and eat there, for God's sake. Outside the apartment in general? No. Just... no.

★ Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Your touch. Not all of them, but certain ones. He's a perceptive guy, so he can tell which of your touches are just a show of affection and which are a signal for action.

★ No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Things that can hurt you. Including choking and spanking. Imagine his confused expression when you ask for it. He looks at you like a lost kitten. Why would he do that? Isn't it painful, isn't it humiliating..? So, yes, you will have to have a long discussion about this if you really want him to do it.

Public sex. Absolutely not. It's an act of intimacy between two people who love each other. Why take it outside of your home? Outside the bedroom, basically...

★ Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

As you can tell from what I've already written, he likes to give more than to receive. The way you squirm, the way you whine out his name while his tongue laps over your sensitive clit, the way your taste feels on his taste buds. He loves all of that.

But when you give... It feels weird. Not unpleasant, but he feels like he might hurt you that way (imagine his worried face when you first choked on his cock or when he thought he grabbed your hair too hard)

★ Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He starts slowly, as if savoring each thrust. The way your inner walls clench around his length makes his head spin.

If you need time to get used to him, he stops, switching to caressing your body. Gentle kisses on your neck, soft whispers in your ear, soothing slides of his hands along your torso.

Ask him to speed up and he'll speed up, but again, he'll try to be careful in his movements.

So, yes. Slow and sensual.

★ Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He doesn't understand the concept of quick sex at all. Explain it to him or not explain it to him, he won't get it. But if you, as you put it, "need to blow off steam before work", he won't mind helping you out. But I don't think you guys have quicks a lot.

★ Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He wouldn't mind experimenting, within reason. A new position or some little added aspect to sex, maybe even a little roleplay, yep yep yep. But I don't think he would want to try anything... extreme.

★ Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

One round, in extremely rare cases two. But this one round lasts a long time, so at the end you are both satisfied and tired.

★ Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Imagine Leopold's concerned face when he found your vibrator (or any other toy, at your discretion). He asked you to explain what it is and what it's for. You, fighting your own embarrassment (or not, again depending on you), explain it to him. And... He's interested in trying it. He wants to see what the toy is like in practice. And the result is quite satisfying )0)

So yeah. I think the toy will still be a part of your sex life from time to time. (btw, my fav writer have headcanon about this)

★ Unfair (how much they like to tease)

I don't think he's the teasing type. He'll give you what you want, he won't say no (although his long foreplay sometimes feels like teasing). He wants you to enjoy the process, that's the whole point, isn't it?

★ Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

I don't think he's loud during the process. A little groan here, a little whimper there. It doesn't mean he doesn't feel good, no. He just thinks a man shouldn't make a lot of noise in bed. But he does cum loudly, yes. He tries to muffle the loud moan by burying his face in your shoulder, but the fact remains.

★ Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He has sensitive ears, change my mind.

I mean, imagine how his whole body shivers when you lean in and whisper something in his ear. Or the faint moan that escapes his parted lips when you gently bite his earlobe.

★ X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

I think he's, uh... regular size? I'd even say comfortable. Not too big, not too small. So yeah, regular. (I'M NOT GOING TO DESCRIBE HIS DICK HOW PEOPLE EVEN DO THIS)

★ Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

I mean, he's not super horny, but he doesn't have a low sex drive. Something in between. I don't think he'll initiate much, more like adjust to you.

★ Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

I'm sure he won't fall asleep until he's sure you're okay. Once he's sure, he'll hold you against his chest, kiss you gently on the forehead or top of your head, and fall asleep almost immediately.

(Toward the end I just ran out, I think it's noticeable :'р)

(Masterlist)

[bonebridebanish-warcrimeedition]

Propaganda

Yes, you are not reading this wrong, this is his full fucking name. No, we do not know what the A. stands for anyways.

Also known as "Mr. X", "Archange" (which could actually be what the A stands for) or "The King of the Sky", he is widely infamous for his absurd skill in battle and his high killcount. His flight pattern was also used to train the drones used during the Lighthouse War.

Nobody had survived a dogfight with him before, until Trigger (us) came along.

Lapdog of the Erusian (Discount French) Crown, he rejected his own title to enroll in the airforce. While nobody really calls him out on it, he is quite a bastard, fully aware of his skills and fully willing to toy with the enemy for quite a while before taking them out in usually a single shot.

From the now non-existent Duchy of Shilage (likely Ace Combats Discount Hungary)

[writingoneout]

Untilted Katamari Reflections

Preamble:

Content considerations for the following include:

Parental abuse

Bigotry

Worldly anxiety

You're welcome back another day if that's too much right now.

I.

It’s fall of 2015.

You and your virgin college friends drink shitty cocktails called the “Slutty Will Rodgers.” They’re just Pepsi rawdogged with indeterminate amounts of grenadine and Captain Morgan. When you bought the mixers a Wal-Mart stocker yodeled “OOOOoOoooOH, maKIN sOMe DRINKS?!?!” and you knew it was time to leave.

We Love Katamari is on the Telly. It’s a sweet, trippy game you first bought to cope with high school. On Dark Fridays at 1am, when your inbox was barren and your balls were full, you’d drive to the empty gym downtown and sprint six miles. Then you’d come home and replay the firefly level until you fell asleep with your pug.

Your college friends are bad at the game, so they pass the controller. You’re playing the underwater stage. A spaceman falls in the pond of people gunk and stacked crabs. It’s going really well if you’re honest. You point to the screen and say “this’ll be Florida if Trump wins.” See Fig. 1.

Figure 1: Rick Desantis has big plans for Disney.

Your friends don’t reply because they soon won’t be virgins and their tongues battle each other’s. It’s a different game they play, one with fuzzier rules, but greater industry respect. You wish the campus gym was open 24/7.

. . .

Your skills as the prince are not inherent. You first meet him in 2005, when your dyspraxic hands can barely tie a shoe. Your parents catch you lose shit for the Toonami review of Me and My Katamari. They buy it for Christmas, hoping to steady your nerves while your father’s in therapy.

Dr. Flam is a Neo-Freudian hitched to your mom’s guy, Dr. Flim. She’s deep in your dad’s dream journal and makes him watch movies like Cool Hand Luke to really reign in his ego. He gets the DVDs from the Netflix site, then through the mail. As a family you watch your dad’s therapy films and reruns of Inyuasha.

In the waiting room you barely navigate the sticky ball through Namco Bandai’s Satoshi Kon parade. See Fig. 2. You’ve only seen adults express anger verbally, so when you mess up you grunt a lot and let out those Leopold Butters Stotch swears like “crap,” “shoot,” and “gosh darn.” You’re not particularly self-aware, so you probably just say “god fucking damn it” a few times and don’t remember. Years later you realize there was probably a secretary behind the glass watching you do all this.

Figure 2: Bwahbwahwabhbawahbwaaaaah.

Sometimes there’s a girl in the room with you, just around your age. She’s stuck while Dr. Flim teaches her mom about what dream snakes mean for her fear of male puberty. That's what he did for your mom, anyway.

You think the waiting-room stranger is cute, but you won’t admit you like girls yet, especially not to yourself. To cope with the cognitive dissonance, you do your weird shit louder while refusing to make eye contact with her. If you get real stressed you crank up the main menu track and yell “ahhhhh that’s so relaxing” while the “nah nah nah nahs” play through your headphones.

At one point the girl stands against a wall and stares at you with her arms crossed. You bet she thinks you’re cool, but she’s probably just annoyed and hopes you’ll notice, or maybe just ask if she’s OK. It’s probably good you don’t talk with her. You might ask something stupid, like if she's seen the roach corpse in the stairwell. It’s been there for a year straight, isn’t that crazy?

For better and worse, you power through your little game alone. Every time you lose the King of All Cosmos beats, shoots, and belittles you. See Fig. 3. It reminds you of when your own dad shattered your Harry Potter wand over the kitchen counter because you dropped a mini pizza.

Figure 3: The King of All Cosmos offers little constructive advice, all things considered.

You fail quite frequently. Eventually you drop the game because it’s getting stressful and you have the power to relieve yourself of the situation—not the Freudian lobby, just your fake dad.

II.

It’s 2012. PlayStation Network uploads The Prince’s primeval outing: Katamari Damacy. Within, Padre Cosmotic flaps his gums over too much hooch then slams his dump truck ass through the better part of our solar system. He dislodges every recognized constellation and even the moon itself.

Cosmos sends Prince to Earth—the last brick left in the shitstorm—to make slop of our planet and bodies. With the slop space itself will be made anew. The Good Son does as he's told, and every living entity experiences euphoric ego death within the bulbous heaven of the Katamari.

As a Real Gamer Teen you lose a lot less in this one. You really go in and fix Fake Dad’s mistakes, no problem at all. This is why a year ago you hailed “gaming journalism” as your calling. You write clean and play tight; should keep the lights on. It’s the most concrete idea you’ve had since 7th grade when you outlined a YA novel called Tooth Pocket. Even you didn’t think Scholastic would buy that one, though. It was just too hot for the book fair.

One day you’re cranking through FFVI and your real dad swings by, mad you're young. He grills your ass and says “I bet you can’t even tell me the biggest thing happening right now.” It’s some real “What’s a gallon of milk cost?” shit, he could mean anything.

 Surprisingly, you can’t think of a good answer. You and your friends are actually pretty informed because John Stewart is still at the desk and y’all chime in every day. See Fig. 4. You also spend hours each week tearing through MSN slideshows in your Graphic Design class because the Photoshop takes five minutes. You’ve seen a staggering amount of the Syrian civil war.

Figure 4: Sometimes in Snapchat you draw glasses on your cat to make him look like Mitch McConnel. You wouldn't do that without this guy.

Still, you’re a little stumped. It’s the middle of a phenomenon native to moralist presidencies known as "a slow news week.” You actually ran out of war shit the other day and clicked through some slides about Pakistani wrestlers. The seniors who offered you Jack Daniels in the Whataburger lot saw it and laughed. They thought you were peeping dong in class. You really weren’t, but they didn’t believe you. They graduate certain you were bricked up in the Dell Lab over big guys in spandex.

“I don’t know,” you tell your dad.

He throws his hands behind his head, hard, like an orangutan chucking logs at a poacher.

“It’s the fucking carbon tax,” he yells. This comes as a surprise, you think, because that shit is last month’s news. It really didn’t go anywhere.

“Do you not pay attention because you don’t give a shit, or are you just a nihilist and think you can’t do anything?” You can tell in his eyes he thinks there’s a real answer. “Seriously, which is it?

You don’t remember what you said. You probably just stammered until he walked off.

A month later he picks you up from marching band. Your phone is dead, so he had to wait twenty minutes longer than anticipated while you found his car. He punches the rearview mirror until the windshield cracks then screams of how your birth kept him from New England.

III.

It’s 2016. A rockin’ MILF in the Psych department gets you really into Hamilton. See Fig. 5. Every day you wake up on the grind and blast “You Aaron Burr, sir?” through your shitty 7-11 cans. While cramming foreign language Quizlets and McGraw Hill Online you do this thing called “Hafilton.” It’s where rock up to “Nonstop” and quit listening just before Hamilton decides what he will stop is being a good husband.

Figure 5: Like Kojima, you know "MILF" is a mindset, not a factual inquiry.

It’s 2018. Your grades are notably better and you’ve snuck into the honors program. Like Hamilton himself, you really flourished at 19 and thought about running for office. You immediately abandoned this idea after remembering your allergy to recordings of your image or voice.

You cohabit with the Psych MILF, and she offers some advice: she’s really had her boots on the ground with this whole “clinical psych thing” and honestly, respectfully, she loves you, but dear God it might not be your scene. It’s taken a real toll on her and the friends, and she can’t imagine you going through that shit.

At 1am in your living room you boot up DOOM (2016) and listen through some Hamilton. Angelica is thirsty on main when you remember that you, yourself, could be a lawyer. You don’t have to run for Congress to fight the establishment. There’s just the common law, and it’s right there. You can just get your grubby little hands in that shit and work your magic.

. . .

It’s the last semester of undergrad. Your Western Thought professor says Hamilton wasn’t really a huge deal and really James Madison shat out the big parts of our faction-proof empire. Yes, there was, in fact, a civil war, but the caplock rifle worked it out. After the Federalist papers he has you read the Bill of Rights but no Supreme Court cases. There’s a lot of talk on negative liberties.

Just before finals, the learned doctor says your generation only has two things to worry about: the climate and the poverty. Yeah they’re big, he says, but they’re just two things. You’re crafty kids, smart as the framers, even.

. . .

The state decides law school is your jam and lets you come inside.

There’s the negative liberties but you actually read Supreme Court opinions when the big boys aren’t shaking fists for Valley Forge. They have you listen to Hamilton for context. You feel dirty. An LRW professor puts on the “I’m Just a Bill” video and your sectionmate with Ivy degrees gets really, really mad.

. . .

The Federalist Society has a comfy presence at your law school. Along with Big Oil they sling out free pizza to every Little Scalia with a rumbly tum tum.

On your way to class you hear what the pizza boys feel. They hate Europeans, those social democrats with the rotten armories and clumpy cash. The Euros, they think, give too much wiggle room for the mentally ill, and by that they mean they mean gay people and probably just women overall.

There are more than two things to fix, you think.

. . .

The pandemic hits. You and some pals start a Google Doc to stay afloat. It barely works. In the Zoom review for the property final your professor catches multiple people crying. "You don't have to be here," he tells them, “there are other jobs.”

. . .

A year passes. You’re in a niche public interest class you do all right with. The professor looks you and thirty-five others dead in the eye and says how sorry he is that law school is traumatic. You shed a single tear in your little window. You're pretty in the shit and haven’t worn pants to class in months.

Then public interest prof takes a big, big drag from his long, fat spliff. He spins his desk chair and baseball cap at the same time, never letting go of the joint.

“Hey,” he says. “It’s not your fault, really, but the world is fucked. It’s time to fix what your parents did.”

The next week he gives a practice exam where the best solution is to sell an old lady’s house to Nestlé.

IV.

It’s 2022. After throwing your whole gooch at it, you fail the bar exam.

You fall back hard into exercise. When you’re not slamming Barbri you’re at the gym binging curls and cranking the Chainsaw Man soundtrack. One night on the way to squats you finally hear “Black Parade.” Just like you, Mr. Gerry Wayland is stuck between global disrepair and the desire to write Funny Little Books.

You just started an FLB yourself, actually. It’s spin on a Story Break episode you love. In your version there’s a fucked up civil war horse that moves like a spider and is covered in bugs. Rich people kill the planet then the horse gets lost in space. It’s compelling, you promise. There’s body horror and pirates dressed like Gorton’s Fisherman. See Fig. 6 It’s about the horrors of the contemporary world state. It’ll be fun.

Figure 6: An untapped horror icon. Imagine blood contrasting that yellow.

Big problem, though: you remember rich people love hiking. There’s no grass on Mars, not that good shit anyway. Would they really fuck all of it?

You edit. In the last few years, the real breathless ones, the oligarchs cash their tab. A cartel, they think, could really muscle those stragglers, the tragically common. There’s one city left with both breathable air and refugees. They level it. The few survivors are spread amongst the stars, so their loves and languages may die.

. . .

It’s the middle of Bar Prep Round 2. You and the patient MILF see Hadestown in the Big City.

There’s a juke joint on stage flanked by devil trombones. A sad little guy slinks in from the janitor’s closet. His name is Orpheus and, just like you, he’s a sad, short writer who likes a lady so much it comes out weird. He has a vision, he says, for a little ditty. It’s compelling, he promises, and shit’s gonna change. His love is functional and realized, worth the investment of a hardened woman displaced by capital’s torture. She believes him.

You cry because you know where this goes.

It’s just a single tear.

Don’t worry.

Nobody sees.

. . .

There’s this game you like, by some corporate anarchists who hate themselves. They’re Scandinavian, from the spot in Tallin where you stopped for a cruise. Every gift shop there had swastikas and gas masks leftover from the bloody years.

In the game is a liberal yacht MILF. She thinks you’re stupid but someone’s helping with your gun, so you’ve got that on her. And yet, she pins you, re your whole writing thing. See Fig. 7.

Figure 7: She sucked, but it still hurt when she left.

Your favorite Supreme Court podcast says the ocean’s last hope is other countries. But those countries’ people cry to the Disco game, and their ministers also bought The End of History. You meet them on the subreddit. You're all geeked out, waiting for the tide.

. . .

It’s the era of desert cradles. God thinks you’re disgusting, so he sends his better kids with a memo: the flood was too much work on his end, it’s time for something different.

“Just keep walking,” he says.

Your skin bares his figure. So do the corpses. You little birds among billions, gassed out and screaming, move to clean.

V.

It’s 2023.

We Love Katamari is up on the PlayStation store. You sit with the cats and mow down some crabs. You don’t need it so much these days, but it’s nice.

There’s a Bar card in your wallet, just below your gym tag. There are two interviews in your Google Calendar. Good stuff might happen, hopefully soon. You crawl into bed and wrap an arm around your wife’s rib cage.

Everything matters and nothing is safe.

You are loved enough to sleep.

[fafayayarhen]

Any Austria headcanons?

shaking

vibrating

tumbling over

hi. yes. so. enjoy my ramblings of specific Austria | Roderich headcanons from me because my credentials include 5 - 6 years of RP experience writing, researching, writing, musing him

some canon points i took and expanded upon with prevalent historical elements that does fit what i see from the series, certain elaborations that comes from further delve into the unique entanglement of the Habsburg influence upon their claim to the imperial fief of the Holy Roman Empire, the Austrian Duchy

Austria being a far more rowdy, feral, unrestrained youth when the Austrian Duchy absolutely flourished during the Babenberg rule by the successive lead of dukes Leopold. (Yes, dukes. All of them were named Leopold and distinguished only by the numerical order.) During Leopold III, Leopold the Illustrious reign, he was a bit of a punk that not only successfully expanded the duchy with more towns and cities, he joined the third crusade and took command of the German battalion when the previous commander died (Duke Frederick of Swabia). This is the origins of the legend where Austria's flag was created, the signature triband of red, white, red. The Duke's bloodstained uniform when he removed his belt revealed the untouched hidden stripe of white and he went with that - given the track record of these dukes and their prosperous deeds in battle, Roderich would've been that young man who eagerly joined his dukes in each and every conflict, fighting alongside them, and that bit with the bloodstained uniform would've been applied to Roderich as well.

He was a country bumpkin because of this. Had been one since he first came to be, which honestly in my years of writing him is difficult to pinpoint exactly which year given the interesting track records that offers Roman roots (the Noricum province in the then Roman empire), or the first documented use of "Marcha Orientalis" meaning the eastern march, first established by the Bavarian following the battle of Lechfeld in 955 that drove out the rest of the Magyars and fortifying the eastern front once the stronghold is built and fortified. Often I go with this latter interpretation whilst also making good of applying the possible Roman lineage given Noricum was where the land of the east would be. He was just a little country boy Bavaria found after the battle and was like ay yO I GOT A KID.

Bavaria would've spoiled the kid. Cutie. Little march. Sure it's concerning he can already wield a sword but hey you gotta do what you can do to survive! Very apt in swordsmanship and I honestly see his preferred blade of choice is the curved style of a saber, that in turn encompasses his then more outlandish nature - because in sword fighting, saber attacks are far more aggressive despite the refined, graceful look to it. Bavaria would've taught Austria all there is when it comes to fighting when the little march was growing and maturing.

Austria physically matured fast. Which lends itself to the state of his mentality as an empire being pretty fucked because he didn't get to be a child for too long, given how quickly he rose and was refined into this eminent symbol, representative, personification of this imperial fief. During his time as margraviate, he would've already looked like a 10 - 11 y/o pretty soon, then when the later Babenberg generations manage to obtain the Privilegium Minus elevating their territory into a dukedom, he would've had the appearance of a 15 - 16 y/o boy. Because this was a crucial period entering the 1200s onwards, when the succession claim for the duchy became a widely contested issue after the Babenberg line went extinct.

The Bohemian kingdom snatched it pretty quickly with Austrian nobilities actually being in favour for them to rule the duchy, but there was an issue. As imperial fief, the dietary court ruled by the prince electors was the one who called the shots of who'll get to rule the fief next. King Ottokar disregarded this and claimed the duchy for himself and he would've spoiled the Austrian duchy rotten because guess what. Ottokar was incredibly wealthy. I find it absolutely hilarious it was thanks to this man Roderich became... the pampered gemstone he is. To really contextualize how rich Ottokar was, not only was his moniker the Golden King, his earnings was ten times more than the imperial revenue itself that they do not. Want. Ottokar. As emperor. Roderich didn't mind, the former country bumpkin went from a fighter to being throw into this new lavish life where he gets to be comfortable and in prettier clothes, and introduced to Bohemian culture, way of religion, made friends with Bohemia, of course he'd be placated the same way the Austrian nobilities welcomed Ottokar!

Only for his rival, king Rudolf of Habsburg with ambitions to become emperor absolutely get in his way. It was a mess and the then still immature, teenage duchy didn't quite understand the perilous struggle over something he thought was a simple territorial claim and would later learn of the significance when Ottokar was defeated, died in battle, and was finally claimed into Habsburg possession. But it's important to note that Rudolf didn't succeed as emperor. God bless. He was a menace and Roderich would've more than kicked and screamed and tried to bite Rudolf's ear off because guess what. Rudolf was less richer than Ottokar. At least five shillings in bad coin poorer that the country bumpkin having tasted wealth looked at the new ruling figure over his land with disdain because where was the splendour? Where is his comfort?

I may get booed for this but I honestly envisioned he didn't need eyewear until after the dissolution of the empire. Listen to me, he was in good health and perfect physical condition as a rapidly growing fief, he was a good boy who ate his meals, went hunting, practiced his swordsmanship, kept fit, that any and all semblance of incapacitation wouldn't be until after the end that signifies the loss of status and power. The worsening vision thus making him require the glasses on a daily, the frailer physicality simply because in the present day he is not needed to fight, to fend, to exhaust himself tirelessly to grow as a power he no longer was, hence his more laidback habits, hobbies, and being winded easily. And there's nothing wrong with that, you know? He said he wanted to live a good, modest life from here on out and he got that. He's had his run.

Back to more history stuff, remember the bit about his country bumpkin identity? The Spanish Court Ceremonials beat every ounce of it from him. Because one, it was infamously a strict set of conduct by the Spanish constituents in court. And secondly, following the creation of the Spanish Habsburg branch when the succession of marriages into the Spanish monarchy obtaining the crowns of Castile and Aragorn through Maximilian's descendants, Philips and Charles, the Austrians eagerly adopted the customs of their Spanish in laws to foster a harmonious relationship between each other, and in turn Roderich learned the etiquette to a T that perfectly shaped him into the elegant, composed, refined imperium representative he was, finally the revered gemstone befitting the surname he wears; Edelstein. In part, acclimatizing to the Spanish identity was an attempt to better cement his and his first husband, Spain, matrimonial arrangement.

This is completely self indulgent on my part because I love the domino effect and exploring Austria's | Roderich's dynamic with the significant rulers of the dynasty. Maximilian would've been behind the machinations of Roderich's eventual marriage to Antonio. This reflects how his will to bring Spanish inheritance into Habsburg's possessions was achieved when Philip married Joana of Castile, and their heir, Charles, the next Holy Roman Emperor; legitimized the claim over much of the New Worlds and the Holy Roman Empire ... massive wealth and treasure reserves. I imagined the conversation between Maximilian quizzing Roderich on how to better secure their chances of success, thus in turn being one of the rulers that taught the Austrian better when it comes to these political schemes which becomes his weapon later on, telling Roderich to get married. Roderich would have stared and responded, "What?"

Speaking of marriages and the Habsburg being notorious for abusing the ever living daylights out of this strategy? "O'happy Austria, you marry," that saying? The full quote is, "Bella gerant alii, tu felix Austria nube. Nam quae Mars aliis, dat tibi ragna Venus." Let others wage war, but thou, O'happy Austria, marry. For those kingdoms which Mars gives to others, Venus gives to thee. Coined by Matthias Corvinus, the then Hungarian king in the 1400s. And when did Maximilian reigned? 1459 - 1519. The king of the Romans, the most celebrated warlord with a pension for fishing (I kid you not) masterminded some couple of marriages including his own to Mary of Burgundy which brought the possessions of the Low Countries soon into his and the empire's ownership, would have been the instrumental force imparting the wisdom of marriage being the solution to every problem unto Roderich. Young, impressionable Roderich thought, you know what? He's right. Poor Austria didn't think he'd be delivered on the altar is all.

Austria is a polyglot. One, not only are languages and the arts were some of the core subjects for the monarchs, two, Roderich would have more than enough time on his hands to literally retain the fluency of multiple languages. Guess what, another historical tidbit and whom the princess would be inspired by; Emperor Charles. The man could speak an array from French, Dutch, Spanish, even Basque, and Portuguese, and having this disposition to outperform himself each time because Roderich was entangled with that drive to succeed through any and every means, this skill is not only handy but gives him a reason to flex that he can speak Latin still even if rusty from the un-use, Castilian Spanish, Italian, Hungarian, Czech, Dutch, Portuguese, French, the High German in use today, and bit of Polish. Something about it gives him an advantage that if he can find anything, everything to impose himself above a person, Roderich would absolutely refine it.

He is fond of horses. He is absolutely fond of, and would own one of the original dynasty of the Lipizzaner breed. Let him have his immortal pet. Please. Horseback riding is another favourite activity of his in the past, he'd practice it still in present but not at the same capacity and intensity he once did. So a little about the Lipizanner and why they're special - a product of the Habsburgs. They wanted an agile. faster horse and the cross breeding with Spanish breeds resulted in the end product called a Lipizzan, and where it was first conceived was in a stud farm at Lipica (present day Slovenia) established by a Habsburg monarch. I forgot the dude's name but he would've been thrilled unveiling this creation to Roderich, and was gifted one. And if you're wondering, that's right, these same horses are the specially preserved breed in use for dressage at the Spanish Riding School in Vienna. Yet another pride and labour of love of the Habsburgs. And in turn, Roderich.

Austria | Roderich strikes me as the type who'd own two large dog breeds. A German shepherd and Dobermann. Something about this pretty looking man and the scariest dogs guarding him gives such immaculate vibes, and frankly the dogs are required to stave off unwanted attention and bite anyone untowards.

Multiple residences owned throughout the nine federal states of Austria. One, for ease of travelling for work purposes so he'd have a cozy place to stay in and two, it's such a thing that since the end of his major power days, becoming closer to and working alongside his people contributes to his growth and goal of living an honest life for himself that he gets to be an authentic person doing what he believes is the best for his people. As opposed to during his time as an empire, he was too high up and never saw for himself the subjects he ruled when he was the emblem of hegemony.

TBC. Because it's midnight and I am passing out. But. Just.

Yeah

[mydaddywiki]

Albert II of Belgium

Physique: Average Build Height: 6'1"

Albert II (born 6 June 1934 -) is a member of the Belgian royal family who reigned as King of the Belgians from 1993 until his abdication in 2013. He is the son of King Leopold III and Queen Astrid, born princess of Sweden. He is the younger brother of Grand Duchess Joséphine-Charlotte of Luxembourg and King Baudouin, whom he succeeded upon Baudouin’s death in 1993. Albert II abdicate the throne for health reasons in 1993 and was succeeded by his son Philippe on 21 July 2013.

The former King is adorable. He definitely falls into the 'cute grandpa' category. Sure he’s getting on in years and a little past his best but I'd still do him in a heartbeat. And even if you think he is too old, he was a fucking king. You would fuck him and you know it.

He married Donna Paola Ruffo di Calabria (now Queen Paola), with whom he had three children; King Philippe, Princess Astrid and Prince Laurent with twelve grandchildren and three great-grandchildren. During the 60s, King Albert had an 18-year-affair with Belgian aristocrat that produced a second daughter, Princess Delphine. If I were alive in the 60s, Albert could have slept with me and not have to worry about admitting he fathered a child out of wedlock. What? He isn’t getting me pregnant.

[wahbegan]

I never like blaming single people for...not that it makes me hate people like Hitler or Andrew Jackson or Ronald Reagan or John Calvin or Oliver Cromwell or King Leopold or honestly pick a fucking European Monarch any less, they could all eat my fucking trench knife, but i do feel like laying the blame for massive world-changing things solely at their feet is lazy and dangerous.

Let's demonstrate with the Hitler scenario, cause that one's the easiest. The Holocaust did not happen because Hitler was the most evil man who has ever lived. The Holocaust happened because violent antisemitism, eugenics, racism, and various other forms of racial, ethnic, and religious discrimination were so fucking intense and so normalized, The Allied Powers had effectively fucking broken Germany after WWI with the bill for reparations, the board was set, the pieces were in place, fear and hatred and desperation were at dizzying heights, and Germany became a perfect place for political extremism to take hold. Hitler was not the Devil. He was just some fucking guy. If it wasn't him, it would have been someone else. Oh, sure, the details may have varied, may have been fucking worse because for all that the man gets hyped up, oration was really the only thing he was competent at. But something like it was bound to happen. Then, of course, there's the small matter that Adolf Hitler did not walk house to house killing 6 million Jews and...estimates are all over the god damned board for non-Jews killed in the Holocaust, i've seen as low as 5 million and as high as 11, i think it largely depends on what the person in question counts as part of the Holocaust, but you take my meaning. Anyway, he did not walk house to house killing all those people with his bare hands. The Holocaust happened because things were set in motion. Because normal people participated, collaborated, looked the other way, ignored what was happening, aided and abetted it, didn't believe it was happening.

Ronald Reagan, *terrific* fucking lad, wasn't he, but he did not wave his magic President Wand and dictate American fiscal policy for the last 40 years by himself, did he? Even after everything, the man is STILL beloved by so many people, Ronald Reagan is a national fucking hero. Andrew Jackson put his filthy signature at the bottom of the Indian Removal Act, but it was Congressmen elected by Johnny and Janey Normal White Neighbor who wrote the thing up.

And this is the problem. When we say Reagan did this, Jackson did that, Hitler committed the Holocaust because he was some kind of grotesque evil no one could possibly understand, we remove ourselves from history. We act as if the world is governed by the whims of distant madmen we have no control over, we act as if these things are stories with villains, we remove our own agency and make it seem apart from reality.

We make it seem like it could never happen again.

People will dismiss any and all comparisons to Hitler out-of-hand as unrealistic and juvenile because they've built up this mythologized fiction in their head of Hitler as some kind of legendary psychopath who enslaved Germany to his will with his army of faceless minions.

He was just...some fucking guy. Who was good at public speaking and loved his country.

[best-habsburg-monarch]

Maximilian , Emperor of Mexico, reign: 1864-1867

- Possibly the better brother

Carlos I (V) , reign: 1519-1556

-has a chocolate named after him - His two iconic bastards are also in this bracket.

Propaganda under the cut because there was a lot for both of them

Propaganda for Maximilian:

From: anon

-He traveled to Brazil

From: other anon

- He loved plants

- He was a sassy man

- He had good taste

- He learned Nahuatl

- He’s cute (I mean look at him)

- He said “gay rights”

- He banned child labour in Mexico

- He gave many rights back to indigenous people

- Bro was wronged by France (haven’t we all?)

- He’s baby

- Got executed, come on, give him this guys 🥺

From: other other anon

- He loved to design gardens and collect insects which makes me think he would've loved playing animal crossing

From @kaiserin-erzsebet:

An outspoken liberal in a period where the monarchy was still quite conservative.

Vice-Admiral of the Navy who initiated scientific projects and exploration.

Aesthetic girlie. Collected flowers, painted, wrote poetry, and kept a journal. He would have loved Tumblr.

(Probably) gay or bisexual.

Allegedly slapped Franz Joseph for refusing to allow Lombardy to have an elective body.

Sisi's favorite brother-in-law (and not in a romantic way, fuck you Netflix)

Refused to take the Mexican crown until a plebiscite had been held because he wanted to be invited by the Mexican people.

Gave up all of his Austrian titles to go to Mexico because he believed he had made a promise to them.

Understood why his execution was for the good of the Mexican republic.

Also, his wife was amazing and capable and the amount of pure misogyny that certain historians and biographers have thrown at her is ridiculous. I know this isn't a Carlota poll, but she'd want Max to win.

Netflix did him unbelievably dirty. Please give him this.

For Carlos V:

from @master-of-the-opera-house:

- Universal empire babey! Sure he lucked into it, but very much successfully kept it afloat in his time on the throne, more than less anyway.

- Born on a toilet at a party at 3am

- Mommy issues

- Daddy issues

- Shagged his step-grandma when he was 19. Love wins!

- Look at the size of that chin! A peasant had to tell him to close his mouth bc he couldn't keep his jaws shut by default

- If Leopold was the ugliest in the Austrian branch he's probably the ugliest or at least second in the Spanish branch

- Approved of a cocks-out nude statue of himself walked so nsfw fanart commissions could run

- The ✨ confidence ✨ he had to do that uwu

- God complex

- Accidentally shot a peasant dead with a crossbow once as a teen oopsie

- Burnt out and got depressed at the end of his life the least he could win is a poll

- Split the inheritance into the Spanish and Austrian branch so without him we literally wouldn't even be voting today

[funky-sea-cryptid]

Do you have any LGBTQ+ black clover headcanons? Talk about them!

I WAS WAITING FOR THIS ANON, ACTUALLY- HIIII!!!

black bulls-

asta- pansexual trans man. asta is trans this is based as hell and also he likes everyone lol <3

noelle - bisexual (she's a disaster bi ok. she knew she liked men, but kahono was her bi awakening!)

charmy - demigirl, identifies as queer (her gender is Hongry)

nero - her concept of gender and sexuality is 500 years old. she's aromantic and her gender is bird

luck - his sexuality is magna

magna - bi get it bc he s. he sw. he swings both w. also he's a trans man

gauche - aroace trans man. there's no way that man is cis im sorry

finral - bigender trans-fem lesbian (he has a trans narrative and i can fucking PROVE IT!!!! this is the lesbian finral account!!!) he's a stupid gay bird <3

grey - aroace and genderfluid (no shapeshifters are cis thems the rules) (grey and gauche are in a qpr god bless them)

vanessa - trans woman and a lesbian as well because she's TOO SWAG TO BE CIS

zora - what are you, a cop? all you'll get is queer out of him (but he's trans as well)

gordon - aromantic gay and genderqueer (he's in a qpr with henry)

henry - aroace (he's in a qpr with gordon)

yami - bisexual king

nacht - a gay ass rat (he's a trans man)

liebe - devils don't have a gender lol

golden dawn-

william - he's gay for the elf bro nuff said

yuno - astasexual (he's demiromantic and gay)

mimosa - oh that's a LESBIANNNN bro

klaus - aroace mother hen

david - bisexual icon

letoille - she's a trans woman and het

alecdora - unfortunately he's rolling with the lgbt (vangeancesexual)

hamon - he's got that pan swagger

shiren - aroace free him from this hell

bonus eotms-

patri - elves dont have a concept of gender or sexuality but he likes william

rhya - see above (but he likes licht and tetia)

fana - you know the fucking drill but she likes girls

vetto - he's an elf and he's married to another elf (platonically)

rades - bi disaster

sally - pansexual mess

valtos - stupid bi hoe

other -

fuegoleon - he's gay and bigender lol

mereoleona - aro lesbian

leopold - he's a fruit

kahono - lesbian

kiato - gay as hell

morgen - aroace icon

ichika - LESBIAN

ciel - bisexual queen

kirsch - FRUIT

all of the ryuzen are some flavor of queer. ryu and yosuga are kissing lmao

[nontoxic-writes]

FUCKING A GHOST??? 👁👁 PLS I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW MORE

hahaha so this one has changed so much as ive outlined it.

its a vaguely kate & leopold au but henry is a spirit tethered to his portrait haunting buckingham and by a crazy definitely-not-fate-because-they-clearly-arent-soulmates coincidence, he’s suddenly corporeal and has to acclimate to the 21st century.

i wanted to write him as king george iii’s brother because of georges love for astronomy as a tie to arthur fox. was this helped at all by the knowledge that george actually had a brother named henry?? no i died.

it also means that when this art dropped, i absolutely lost my shit lmao

anyway here’s a snippet because this wip is weird as hell and i love it and im excited to get back to it once i finish my current wip

“Henry? If you’re still here, can you like, stop hiding in the shadows? This is kinda freaking me out.”

There’s a whoosh of air and a pop as the lightbulb next to Alex goes out, and he most definitely does not scream, that would be humiliating.

But he does when a moment later, a hand lands on his shoulder and a voice says, “Alex?!”

He looks up into blue eyes and his hand grips the button in his pocket a little tighter.

Alex isn’t too proud to admit the man had been striking even standing in the shadows, but up close, he’s vibrant. Bright blue eyes and pale skin, with blond hair that curls at the ends and looks impossibly soft, the smell of freshly cut grass lingering in the air around them.

Then Alex notices his insane fucking outfit. “Why are you dressed like an extra on Bridgerton?”

“You can see me.”

“Yes, I can see you, and what the f—“

“No, Alex,” Henry says, desperately, his hand gripping Alex’s, eyes wide. “You can see me?!” He digs his fingers in a bit harder, which, ouch?! “You can feel me?”

“Yeah, and it hurts, man, what are you doing?” Alex says, trying to pull his hands away but failing miserably in Henry’s strong grip.

Henry laughs, high and hysterical. “This is extraordinary.”

“Dude, what is g—“

“Alex. I’ve been dead for over 250 years.”

Alex chokes on nothing, his throat making a deeply unattractive noise. “Henry, what the hell are you—“

Henry grips Alex’s chin and moves him to face the portrait.

[swanqueensalad]

A very long, sad deep dive on the Snow & Regina dynamic, post-everything, for anon

snow and regina are best friends. it's very weird. nobody really wants to use that phrase around regina lest she fireball them... snow really really wants to use that phrase all the time (this is their whole dynamic lol u don’t need to read the rest of the post)

i would say it happened naturally, but it really didn't. it happened with a lot of hard work, honesty, effort, dedication to being better from both of them, and then once all of that was done it was natural, it was sort of impossible to be any other way.

because snow and regina have known each other a long time. longer than most people in their family, in their town. and despite everything that happened after, all the tragedy and pain that the adults around them orchestrated, they were once two little girls that should have been friends. little snow idolised regina and looked up to her in every way, the beautiful kind hearted girl who saved her from a horse, and the instinctive bond between them was always there. there was a sisterly relationship there from the start, and i think for regina as a lonely girl with an awful family life, snow was sweet, and refreshing company to have, even if she got in the way sometimes (just like a little sister would).

and then of course everything comes crashing down, and it is snow's fault but it also isn't, because at the end of the day she was just a little girl mourning her own mother, who cora knew exactly how to manipulate.

but i think the reason regina never saw it this way was because she too was very young and sheltered and her worldview was totally limited by cora's abuse: when regina was snow's age, nothing she did would ever be excused by 'but i was a child'. at snow's age, she had to mind everything very carefully because to put one foot wrong was to be punished severely, held 100 percent accountable. i truly believe the reason regina never excused snow for her age is because she was never excused for hers, ever, even as a tiny child, and as a victim of such abuse in such a controlled environment it never would have occurred to her that that was wrong, or even abnormal.

(i believe a big part of regina and snow's relationship healing was regina's worldview shifting as she grew and changed and worked on healing herself, because as she reevaluted the things cora taught her, she can see the world and the past events in a whole new light. this is of course, a hard and complex process that regina is still working on, but ultimately she does come to realise snow was a child who meant no wrong, who only wanted to help, regardless of the outcome. which doesn't make it not her fault, necessarily, but it adds layers she could not accept before)

regina was married to king leopold for a long time. this is something i've spoken about before, but it's still something i think isn't so well understood, purely because the show didn't go into it that much (and i believe it didn't because it would have simply been too dark and uncomfortable for primetime abc. the writers knew the situation they had put themselves in and kept a distance). if snow was about 10 when regina and leopold married, and 18 when he died, that is 8 years. the better part of a decade. that is a long, long time, especially for a grieving, growing, traumatised girl like regina trapped in the most awful environment in which literally every powerful adult around her was brutally using her in one way or another, manipulating and preying on different parts of her trauma, grief and vulnerability. (while her brain was still developing and processing everything that had already happened and she had zero support system, zero outlet for any emotions. like, some of y'all do not understand how fucked up regina is.,, like, think about that. or don't if you don't wanna be sad forever)  

and all the while, the little girl who caused it all sees nothing wrong! no difference in their relationship, to her! except now she wants to call her mother. (even stepmother is bad enough from a girl no more than 8 years younger than you) and thinking about this stage of their relationship is agonizing to me. regina is at princess snow's beck and call, and this hurts because despite everything, she still feels some affection for her, that sisterly love did not die clean with daniel. the hatred and the blame and the fury just go along with it now, except she cannot express one bit of it. she has to smile and play dolls with her like everything is fine.

snow truly, for a few years at least, saw nothing wrong, or at least convinced herself nothing was wrong because her worldview as a well loved princess meant she could easily excuse any questionable things she picked up on. and this is something i think she definitely struggles with later, and even way into her healed post everything relationship with regina. (we talk a lot about regina's guilt and internally never feeling able to atone for it all, but god, snow feels so much guilt for everything regina went through. and i think at some point, they are able to talk about it. not in depth. not in detail. but with very few words, they both understand the depth of meaning and of immense shared pain. regina is not sure what she feels about forgiveness, but she knows she loves snow, and that snow has always loved her. she knows that now they are family, and their time together is lovely, and so she has acceptance at least, if not forgiveness).

i think the moment leopold is dead and snow is out on her own, she starts reconsidering everything. in the last few years she has questioned things a little more, but never let herself really go there, because she has never had to, and why would she when it is so painful? but alone, with her father dead and regina behaving so out of character (or is she, snow wonders), she can't help but look back without the rose tinted lens of her childhood. she remembers things. regina's silences and trembles at the breakfast table. the way she was ignored, sidelined, stared at. the dark circles under her eyes. all those times they had been playing, or walking, and regina seemed to be a million miles away, jolted back to earth only by snow's insistence.

more reluctantly, she thinks about her father and the way he treated her. the way he looked at her. the way he spoke to her (or didn't). spoke about her. the things he must have done. this is something snow still doesn't really process for a long time, because snow idolised her father, but eventually she cannot deny he must have hurt her.

and then there's that episode of season 1 where we get the dialogue 'she thinks i ruined her life' 'did you?' 'yes'. i think bandit snow, processing these things, dealing with a lot of new feelings of anger and pain, started putting two and two together. (but i don't think she fully confronts the real, most awful truth until years later, because she can't.)

i think ultimately the thing that hurts the most about all they went through when they were basically at war was that deep down, they still cared for each other. 'love never left the room' and all that. hatred and pain and fury existed too, overwhelmingly, overpoweringly so, but ultimately they grew up together. (it's just one of them grew up having to 'raise' the other). they still had  memories tined with warmth of horse riding together, walking together.

and so when they do start to heal, (as i believe snow always fiercely hoped they would, deep down), it's not so much that they have to create a relationship but to rebuild and unearth one that was already there, one that never should have been torn down like it was. of course it's tentative at first, but snow never once stopped having hope that one day regina would change and they would find their way back into each others lives. and once the trust is back, the feeling of family, of working together for the same goal and being willing to risk everything protecting each other because of circumstance...

once that's there, it's the other things that re emerge more softly and slowly.

the coffee at granny's. first, a little awkward, a little quiet without emma and david and henry to fill the gaps in conversation. but gradually, they realise they have a lot to talk about, a lot of shared opinions in ways that matter and vastly differing opinions in ways that don't, but are fun to debate.

the parenting advice. the stories regina has to share about henry as a little boy, the grandson whose first ten years snow only ever saw as a school teacher. the way regina helps her learn to care for neal. the passing on to him of henry's saved onesies and blankets.

the silly jokes that gradually start to form between them, against all odds.

the teaming up against david and emma when they suggest something particularly dumb.

the cooking together! snow is hopeless but enthusiastic, regina is skillful and finds it calming, so it becomes a thing.

the clinking wine glasses at family dinners.

the extreme competition on board game nights.

the hugs at the end of the day, which go from being stiff and quick and awkward with pain and memories caught up in every brush of the fingers, to warm and natural as anything.

the way snow is able to sit down with regina when she is caught up in her own thoughts and issues, and give her rational advice from a far more positive and balanced place than regina's brain allows her. the way she is able to hold regina's hand and support her. (it feels like making up for past tragedies. not nearly enough, but it's something.)

the way regina, equally, is able to keep snow grounded and bring her down to earth when she's panicking, the way she can simply and efficiently allow her to talk through her worries and daily struggles, give her space to ramble and talk and be, but also to give her to the point, no nonsense, blunt advice that snow needs and rarely gets anywhere else.

the way that somehow, strangely, against all odds, snow beings mothering regina a little, in a weird turnaround of events that feels more right and more balancing than anything else. the way she holds her hand, looks out for her, checks in with her, gives that kind of advice and reflection. because now it's regina who needs it, and snow who can provide it. because somehow, seamlessly, regina also became her daughter in law, and her relationship with emma is something that brings snow a deep sense of peace, gratitude, warmth. (now regina is truly family in the beautiful way she always was meant to be. now she knows regina and emma will both be cared for, loved, as they deserve. she knows someone will look after regina, someone will ground emma. they will laugh and cry and build a home and life together, a life not too dissimilar from the one with daniel that snow inadvertently stole from regina a long time ago)

i think they do speak about things that have transpired between them, sometimes, when it comes up and one or both of them feel they have to vocalise something. it's never in front of others, even david and emma. some things are entirely between the two of them, and nobody else will understand, or needs to.

they speak softly, respectfully, giving each other space and quiet validation. sometimes they cry, or get angry, but it's never really at each other and they both understand this now. sometimes they cry for the girls they were and what was taken from them both. sometimes one or both of them feels or thinks something they cannot speak or say to the other, and they both respect that.

i think they have both apologised. sincerely. and i think they don't need to go into any detail, really. they both just know.

but they are equals now, entirely. no more titles, no more real power dynamics, despite any maternal/caretaking instincts that snow might feel. they are the equals they were always supposed to be, and the people with the friendship the girls they once were would have wanted.

and they can laugh together. this is the thing that warms my heart most. just thinking of snow and regina laughing together, simply, over some very silly joke that isn't even that funny.

[50cal-fullauto-astarion]

König HC’s ii

part one

Back in black bitches, hello again. CW: I make allusions to shooting an orangutan, but none are actually shot. Is that kind of day here at König Brainrot HQ.

Queer.

His name is Leopold Königsbacher bc I feel Leopold is a horrid name to saddle a gawky weird-ass little kid with, and it doesn’t get much better as an adult. Hates being called Leopold or Leo, someone called him Poldy once and he never talked to that person again, but he depending on the person, he will answer to Lee.

I personally see his face as looking something like Jeremy Allen White’s, but y’know. Significantly more roughed up.

Sub-point: he could honestly be any weird lookin’ white guy with creepy eyes, it doesn’t matter.

Unlike the data mined Ghost face reveal, which I love with all of my heart and keep in a locket on my neck, I can’t accept the data mined König face reveal bc it looks too much like dudes I grew up with. All I can think is, “That man has dip in his lip and a spit bottle in his shirt pocket.” Which is a shame bc it is a good face.

Callsigns as I understand them aren’t really supposed to be related to a person’s actual name, but they can be kind of mocking in nature. So I picture him getting König from his last name was intended for mockery and to degrade him. King of a pile of shit, basically.

Hyper aware of doing anything that could be seen as embarrassing by other people. Movements, weird vocal tics or flubs, how he’s standing, what he’s looking at. Breathing. Avoids doing it if he can, but if that’s impossible, he’ll do them aggressively, bc generally people will avoid someone aggro. When an asshole does something embarrassing assholeishly it becomes scary.

Crooked ears.

Just kinda crashing through life with half-assed ideas instead of plans. He was really banking on becoming a sniper, and that achieving it would suddenly kick some enlightenment and maturity into his ass thereby fixing him. Probably expected that he’d have a house, spouse, and fam by now in the alternate reality where he succeeded. Since he didn’t, he’s just sorta fuckin’ around in a holding pattern as a bachelor in a suburban rental he pays too much for.

Ambivalent towards cats. True neutral. Can take them or leave them.

Fuckin’ loves bears though. Loves a dumbass lookin’ sun bear and will chew your ear off with sun bear atrocity stories.

Also is a rat/ferret/lizard/snake dude. Tell me he has any distinct feelings on feeding pinkies to an albino morph ball python and I will assert that he is thinking, “Food für baby 😊”

Oh my god did everyone else know that emojis could get smalled? Am I the last person to find this out?

I’m giving him this one from me too: he will shoot an orangutan on sight. Hates them. Creep him out hardcore. All other primates are good to go, but orangutans are born destined to rot hell.

Starcraft player, former disgusting League of Legends player. S.T.A.L.K.E.R., Metro, and CS:GO aficionado. VTMB and Fallout 1, 2, and New Vegas lover.

Doesn’t fuck with alcohol or alcoholics, but had/has a binge drinking problem - the duality of man. LOOOOVES uppers though, and doesn’t know that Battle Rage is just Military Meth, he’s somewhat strung out on it when he doesnt take leave as often as he should.

Buys shoes and clothes in bulk when he finds them in his size. Has 3 sets of tennis shoes in the back of his closet and 6 pairs of hiking boots/regular boots for KorTac work.

My lunch is getting cold, love you, bye.

[peefartress2]

frederick wakes up in a bedroom just like his. he takes in the details once he blinks a few times, processing the new surroundings of the room: his own is so bare that the library feels more his room then the bedroom.

he knows something is wrong when he sees books in his room. frederick jolts out of bed, warily reaching out to trace the spines of the books in a shelf that was not there before. there's history books, books on politics and government. things he considers boring- yet, on his bedside table there is a book on wartime preparations. he may have not exactly let go of fairytales, but that didn't mean he immediately converted himself into a nonfiction purist.

everything else seems the same, except for the things that aren't. his closet is the same, but his desk is not. there's notebooks and open books, and plans and records. the last thing frederick remembers doing there is reading the dogyssey and falling asleep.

what is going on?

if that wasn't enough to tip him off, breakfast definitely was. his mother was absent; but nobody commented on it, so he didn't ask about it.

even in whatever universe this was, the "last one to dinner has to do push ups" rule remained a constant. and that happened to be frederick.

"you're slower than usual, son," said leland, a jovial tone. "are you being overworked? do you need more time off?"

"uh," frederick is unsure how to respond to that. there's a lot to take in there, but he knows leland, and knows what he usually wants to hear. "...no?"

"good. so i can except those plans this week? with counsel from our generals, of course,"

frederick has no fucking clue what he's talking about. "umm... yeah!"

the conversation over breakfast takes a turn. lance jokes around and steals food from his plate, which is fairly normal. what's off this time is blaine, who is joking around with frederick. in all seventeen years of his life, frederick swears that has never happened.

"hey, frederick," blaine said. he seems happy, which is weird, cause when is blaine ever not annoyed or on edge? "we'll see you at practice today, right?"

frederick numbly agrees, because it seems that's all her can do today.

he walks around, observes the changes in the palace. it's more fortified, more dark, more guarded. the decorative sets of armor don't seem so decorative anymore, but like they were guards that could spring to life any moment.

he comes across a huge portrait in the hall. he recognizes leopold's painting style from lance's birthday party, but... frederick couldn't ever imagine leopold painting something like this. though it does capture the gloomy expressions perfectly...

it dawns on him on what the portrait is. who is the portrait is of. king leland and his sons; even laverne, dressed even more extravagantly than normal. leland looks grim, dark and serious. dare frederick says: straight up murderous. his sons are wearing their colors proudly, backs straight and chins up as they glare into the distance. medals and badges decorate their sashes... and frederick is among them, holding what seems to be a book. lance holds a sword, and blaine holds a shield with their family's crest.

his mother is not with them.

frederick is astounded- and when he backs up, he notices more and more portraits. he wanders closer to one of them, and sees the words "siege of the pastel kingdom" on a small plaque underneath. the painting is of his father standing dramatically before the pastel palace. many guards have fallen around him, while his foot is planted on king jack's unconscious. he's... probably sleeping.

and holy shit frederick is scared. this was supposed to be home? no, this was enemy territory- and he was right there with them- was he the enemy? what happened to everyone? what happened to gwen?

"ay, lil bro!" it's lance's voice. "courtyard's this way!"

could he trust lance? lance took a part of this too- was he the same lance? good-natured and excitable and sometimes not so bad. cooler than blaine, in frederick's opinion. his older brother lance.

"i'm with you," frederick called out after him, his throat feeling dry. he jogged through the echoey hall.

outside was startling. it was grey and dull; probably just how his father liked it. lance and blaine's attitudes highly contrasting the scenario frederick found himself in.

there's once thing he knows for certain: he needs to find out what's going on.

[lapelle-du-bubblegum-vide]

Tagged by @aurora-boreas-borealis Thank you <3 (and sorry for getting to this rn asfghjsjk)

Rules: Make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! Then tag as many people as you have WIPS.

I apologise in advance for how some of these will sound LOL. Also some are titles to bigger folders and idk i hope that's gonna be comprehensible.

Ah yes, strangers/idiots to lovers in a wasteland + crows my beloved~ (lmao)

Dracula (1897) AU

Dream smp slasher au

DSMP BBC Sherlock AU <3

Emo/Scene SBI AU

Enemies to lovers but literally the plague but Phistin

Halloween Wilbur and Kristin special

Hounds of Love and Phistin My Beloveds

Incredible Immortals 2023 event (Anynone remember that one? Lmao)

Kate and Leopold au

Some sort of royal au with prince/king c!Wil literally exists only so I can use FOB’s “From Now On We Are Enemies”

The Family Jewels AU (kinda)

All Was Golden - An Dream SMP AU/Phil is a nationalist/royalist au (consisting of: A baker and her fisherwoman :D, One shot???? Another fanfic????, Wilbur fucked a salmon and nobody believes him :), Wilbur is a general and playing Hamilton with his mums army :), Yay mumza dadza and crows fanfiction :D)

MH AU - Text

IRYEWYG (consisting of: I'll Remember This Night When You're Gone, I'll Remember Your Eyes When You're Gone - Full Work, Surrender Your Heart (Surrender Every Dream), We’ll Drive On And On, So Dream On And On)

Bingo Bang 2022 (consisting of: BingoBang2022 - Ideas for oneshots, First date - BB2023 prompt turned oneshot)

Scream fanfic

Ready or not fic ideas

Cabin AU (consisting of: Cabin fic, Cabin sequel, Cabin sequel-prequel)

If anynone wants to ask about anything after reading all that oh my god, WOW, brave of you.

Tagging these guys @slasherbat @demonadelem @horse-plinko @ace-attorney-go-brrrrr (don't feel forced to participate <3)