#fuck you alex redacted

[atlasisreal]

.

[causticsunshine]

hate to remind y’all of this but louis really is just A Man™️

as are any other male celebrities you like. just mf dudes.

[snixx]

thinking about my sisters and how differently my relationships with each of them turned out and also how a sum total of none of them went how i expected them to

[spinebuster]

i had a dream that my moots would send me wrestlers to write x reader ficlets about and i can't remember if i did them earnestly or not

[in-maidjan]

me when i think of themes and motifs for my dnd campaign 

[cod-dump]

Soldier: Calling our allies by their legal names!

---

Soldier: Hey, Farah

Farah: *turns and stares at him*

Farah: Do I know you?

Soldier: ... no

Farah: Oh good, I was afraid I had forgotten another name

Soldier: Oh-

---

Soldier: hey Alex-

Alex: What?

Soldier:

Alex: ... you said my name like you had a question? What was it??

Soldier: I didn't have a question

Alex: ... wasting my time- *leaves*

Soldier: ... Hey Alex-

Alex, immediately: Yea?

Soldier: *snorts*

Alex: AHH-

---

Soldier: Sup, Phil

Graves: Ex-fucking-cuse me?

Soldier: I-

Graves: Nah- You don't have that privilege

Shadow passing by: Hey Phil

Graves: Sup

Soldier:

---

Soldier: Hey [redacted]

Soldier: *immediately tackled by Chimera soldiers*

Nik: ... they won't notice you're gone

[leclerc-s]

track five - birds of a feather, we should stick together

series masterlist

SUMMER BREAK 2023

ines_alonso, charles_leclerc, and oscarpiastri posted new stories

what is genuinely wrong with this man?? why is she standing in the middle of the road?? to take a selfie?? surprise shawty!!

maxverstappen1 replied to your story

maxverstappen1 how much time do you have?? ines_alonso GO TO THERAPY!! maxverstappen1 i'll go when you do ines_alonso that's not fair. you have deeper trauma than me. maxverstappen1 bitch please

alex_albon replied to your story

alex_albon this is such a charles thing to do ines_alonso it was oscar actually alex_albon no freaking way oscar did that ines_alonso oh boy oscar has all of you fooled into thinking he's normal.

francesca.cgomes replied to your story

francesca.cgomes you wouldn't understand the need for perfect lighting, you're a man charles_leclerc in the middle of a road?? francesca.cgomes a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do leclerc charles_leclerc you're right, i'm so sorry

logansargeant replied to your story

logansargeant mate, what is that picture of charles? oscarpiastri he pissed me off so i took a horrible picture of him logansargeant what the hell did he do to you? oscarpiastri he called my car ugly piece of metal, after i jokingly said i wouldn't be caught dead in a ferrari logansargeant i will never understand how your relationship works oscarpiastri charles and i like to squabble for shits and giggles. inés hates it.

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ines_alonso we're gonna have fun in sun ☀️🎶

tagged: alex_albon, lilymhe

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maxverstappen1 i was unaware we were doing a couples holiday?? where's my invite??

alex_albon lost in the post i guess ines_alonso this was 100% an accident maxverstappen1 traitors, both of you

lilymhe let's run away together and leave the boyfriends behind?

ines_alonso deal, when and where? alex_albon oh i bet [redacted] just let out an unholy screech ines_alonso can confirm that is what just happened. he is now pouting on the couch.

user01 are those, high school musical lyrics?

user02 how the fuck did you recognize that? it's the most generic ass caption. user01 i had a huge crush on vanessa hudgens, i still do, so i naturally watched hsm so many times. user03 THOSE ARE HSM LYRICS!! I WOULD RECOGNIZE THEM ANYWHERE!!

alex_albon i see we're not including the picture where [redacted] almost drowned you

fernandoalo_oficial sorry what? ines_alonso he's being dramatic. alex pushed me off the boat and [redacted] helped me up fernandoalo_oficial i know where you live alexander alex_albon you don't? fernandoalo_oficial that's what i want you to think alex_albon i'm actually scared now

charles_leclerc you look angry in that second picture

ines_alonso some girl was flirting with my boyfriend charles_leclerc understandable, have a good day user03 charles said, not my problem user04 well, if the rumors are true, then i want to know was someone flirting with oscar or charles?? user05 probably charles user03 put some respect on my man oscar ❤ liked by arthur_leclerc user04 arthur leclerc, head of the oscar piastri defense club

francesca.cgomes did you guys play mermaids??

ines_alonso you know it but someone (alex) was being a party pooper and didn't want to play logansargeant common alex albon L alex_albon uncalled for logan francesca.cgomes i would play mermaids with you inés ines_alonso marry me 👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏻💍

sebastianvettel it was nice seeing you inés!

ines_alonso please come back to the grid. we miss you. we need you. sebastianvettel i quite like retirement ines_alonso so did my dad and then he came back

patriciooward wow and no visit??

ines_alonso you literally told me, 'i don't want to see you' patriciooward lies. slander. dishonor on you! dishonor on your cow! ines_alonoso i'm telling rossi! patriciooward I'M TELLING ROSSI!

user06 inés being friends with a bunch of people in different careers will never not be funny to me.

user07 girl is out here collecting friends in different careers like infinity stones user06 it's more like pokémon no? there's only six infinity stones user07 see now that you say that pokémon makes more sense

user08 papaya orange and ferrari red nails?? she's dating charles and oscar confirmed.

user09 nurse, she's out again but also i aspire to be this delusional user08 you'll see that i was right when the confirm it themselves.

oscarpiastri why does it look like you were in four different countries already??

ines_alonso i was only in three oscar! just because your ass is a homebody and prefers to be in australia doesn't mean the rest of us do?? oscarpiastri i was literally in monaco?? bumped into charles and everything maxverstappen1 ahh the proper monaco experience, bumping into prince charles at least once charles_leclerc okay so fuck you max. maxverstappen1 name a time and place baby 😘 kellypiquet 🤨🤨 ines_alonso 🤨🤨 oscarpiastri 🤨🤨 arthur_leclerc 🤨🤨 alex_albon 🤨🤨 fernandoalo_oficial 🤨🤨 danielricciardo 🤨🤨 patriciooward 🤨🤨 f1 🤨🤨 logansargeant 🤨🤨 redbullracing 🤨🤨 lewishamilton 🤨🤨 lorenzotl 🤨🤨 jensonbutton 🤨🤨 scuderiaferrari 🤨🤨 pierregasly 🤨🤨 instagram 🤨🤨 puma 🤨🤨 maxverstappen1 man you guys know what i meant ines_alonso happy pride month i guess 🏳️‍🌈 alex_albon BE WHOOO YOOOOUUU ARRREEE!!! danielricciardo it's okay we support! ALLY!!! maxverstappen1 the three of you can go fuck yourselves

user10 max is never beating the gay allegations after this

user11 this plus the grindr thing, i fear the closet is made of glass user12 to be fair, max does nothing to help the allegations

3 HOURS LATER

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ines_alonso i wanna be your endgame 🩷

tagged: charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri, taylorswift

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📍 ines_alonso the alternate caption was betty, james, and august if they got their heads out of their ass and dated each other but oscar said that would send people into a coma

user13 THAT'S WHAT WOULD SEND US INTO A COMA?? NOT EVERYTHING ELSE??

user14 girl, not you tagging taylor swift. (also was that for speak now (tv)?)

ines_alonso taylor has to know that i am committed to her and the agony her albums bring me, even when i'm in a relationship (yes it was. nothing better than crying to dear john)

logansargeant IT'S ABOUT FUCKING TIME!! I WAS GOING TO LOSE IT IF YOU DIDN'T ANNOUNCE IT SOON!!

oscarpiastri you're being dramatic logansargeant i'm going to enter a secret relationship and force you to keep it a secret and see how long it takes for you to crack

user15 THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME IS WAS OSCAR AND CHARLES!!

user16 I TOLD YOU GUYS BUT NOOO YOU ALL CALLED ME CRAZY. I EXPECT AN APOLOGY WITH TEARS!! user15 NOT THE FUCKING TIME ANNIE!! user16 IT'S ALWAYS THE RIGHT TIME TO RUB IT IN EVERYONE'S FACES THAT I WAS RIGHT!!

pierregasly THE GROUP CHAT IS FREED FROM THE SHACKLES!!

charles_leclerc calm down calmar, no need to be so dramatic pierregasly DRAMATIC? I KEPT THIS SECRET FOR 2 YEARS CHARLES! 2 YEARS!

alex_albon oh thank god. i can breath again

ines_alonso you're exaggerating albono alex_albon i am not exaggerating, i couldn't handle keeping this a secret any longer.

taylorswift i think the alternate caption would've been much better 😉

ines_alonso holy shit- i died, dead, deceased. rip me. please marry my dad taylorswift tell him to show me the ring first 😂😂 ines_alonso oh my god fernandoalo_oficial you heard the lady!! fernandoalo_oficial please don't feed into her delusions. dumb and dumber do enough of that already charles_leclerc if the lady wants to play mermaids in the middle of the ocean, then we'll play mermaids fernando oscarpiastri yeah fernando, if she wants to play mermaids we'll play mermaids taylorswift oh this adorable

oscarpiastri have i told you that i love you lately?

charles_leclerc funny because this morning you called us 'pain in my ass' oscarpiastri no, i called you that because you set fernando's kitchen on fire again! ines_alonso i love you oscaroo!! charles_leclerc hey!! what about me?? ines_alonso love you charlie

user17 i don't know what's funnier the argument in the comments between oscar, charles, and inés or charles being a pyromaniac when it comes to fernando's kitchen

user18 charles should be banned from the kitchen oscarpiastri we have banned him but he still tries to cook charles_leclerc sebastian would never treat me like this danielricciardo no, he'd treat you worse. that man is controlling in the kitchen and you know it.

scuderiaferrari ❤️🩷🧡

louieee oh baby girl i'm so happy for you and your boys. so glad the three of you finally decided to do this.

ines_alonso thanks for helping max convince me to go on that date 🩷 louieee anything to see that beautiful smile back on your face 🩷

scuderiaferrari admin is definitely shocked and did not catch inés and oscar sneaking into charles' drivers room in australia...last year

mclaren admin over here is also shocked and did not catch charles and inés sneaking out of oscar's drivers room in miami this year... ines_alonso shout out to the best admins ever astonmartinf1 so guess who lied, like a liar ines_alonso no! i swear it's not what it looks like!! astonmartinf1 heart 💔 been 💔 broke 💔 so 💔 many 💔 times 💔

mclaren we call dibs for the next race weekend!!

scuderiaferrari um no 🤓☝️ you guys had her last weekend? astonmartinf1 um actually she's going to be in our garage look what happened last time she was with mclaren scuderiaferrari that was not our fault mclaren according to the footage it was redbullracing maybe she should be in our garage instead scuderiaferrari forget you man mclaren over our dead body astonmartinf1 that can be arranged 😃

patriciooward i would like everyone to know that i have known since the start!!

user19 and when was that pato? patricooward since 2021 user19 2021? I THOUGHT THESE BITCHES STARTED DATING IN 2022?? patriciooward i fear this is common knowledge? user19 TO WHO PATRICIO? TO FUCKING WHO?

user20 oh the mclaren and ferrari teddies. i could die, they're so adorable.

ines_alonso they gave them to me after oscar's mclaren announcement because and i quote, 'you need to have us with you at night when we're not here.' user20 oh that's so fucking cute ines_alonso this was also before they found out i would be working for sky sports

maxverstappen1 glad you're finally happy inés. you deserve happiness 🩷

ines_alonso we wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you forcing me to go on that date 🩷 so thanks for that maxie!! charles_leclerc yes, thank you for that max oscarpiastri have i told you how much i like you? as a friend, that is. NO ONE START RUMORS!! maxverstappen1 as if i would ever date you oscarpiastri excuse you, i'm a fucking catch charles_leclerc not that you would ever need to know because that's my boyfriend not yours ines_alonso correction leclerc, *our boyfriend

liked by lewishamilton, sebastianvettel, pierregasly and others

charles_leclerc mon soleil et ma lune ❤️ [my sun and my moon]

tagged: ines_alonso, oscarpiastri, patriciooward

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oscarpiastri i see who the favorite in this relationship is..

charles_leclerc she doesn't scream at me when i set the kitchen on fire. you do. oscarpiastri IT WAS 3 IN THE MORNING CHARLES! charles_leclerc even during the day you yell at me! oscarpiastri i'm sorry i don't want our apartment to burn down

arthur_leclerc i want everyone to know that i have caught oscar several times wearing the sally shirt

oscarpiastri sometimes inés forces charles to wear the mater shirt so she gets to wear the lightning mcqueen shirt logansargeant it's true, i've seen it happen. ines_alonso i just want to say kachow!

sebastianvettel so you didn't hate them?

charles_leclerc we agreed to never talk about that again sebastian. ines_alonso no this sounds like a conversation we should be having oscarpiastri i agree, tell us everything sebastian. sebastianvettel oh you two should know what i'm talking about charles_leclerc STOP! PLEASE STOP!

user21 their conversations seem to be so fucking unhinged and i love that

user22 honestly the three of them are so fucking unhinged user21 they're so fucking iconic, i love this for them

patriciooward so that's a no on being your fourth?

oscarpiastri according to charles he will only "tolerate one man in obnoxious orange" patriciooward it's papaya? charles_leclerc it's a shade of orange patricio. patriciooward papaya is not orange charles. it's papaya. papaya is it's own thing.

user23 charles breaking his theme for those two? oh he in love love

user24 never thought i would live to see the day but i love it user23 charles has an emotional attachment to that theme, so this is a surprise

scuderiaferrari congratulations to the happy couple!

mclaren they're not married 💀 scuderiaferrari they could be and we wouldn't even know it. astonmartinf1 speak for yourselves, we would definitely know, fernando would never shut up about it.

user25 HIS SUN AND HIS MOON? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???

user26 THAT'S WHAT THAT MEANS?? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME LECLERC?! user25 BESTIE THE TRANSLATION IS RIGHT THERE!! user26 MY FAT FINGERS CAN'T TOUCH THE TRANSLATION BUTTON!!

maxverstappen1 i know for a fact she's holding a red bull can in that photo

charles_leclerc i will NOT be posting red bull propaganda on my page georgerussell63 WHO THE FUCK TAUGHT YOU THAT WORD? oscapiastri i wonder who could've possible done that alex_albon why the fuck are you teaching him the word propaganda in the first place?! oscarpiastri all i said was that the hatred a specific family was spewing was propaganda against him and the word stuck maxverstappen1 sometimes having you around is good

carlossainz55 what the fuck? what the fuck is this?

charles_leclerc so that is who i forgot to block... maxverstappen1 YOU STILL FOLLOW HIM BUT YOU WON'T FOLLOW ME BACK? charles_leclerc YOU FUCKING CHEATED THAT'S WHY! maxverstappen1 HE CHEATED ON HIS EX-GIRLFRIEND! IF ANYONE IS THE CHEATER IT'S HIM! alex_albon CLOCK HIM MAX! louieee oh max emilian verstappen, you make me so fucking proud sometimes.

oscarpiastri this man is acting as if he didn't purposefully tell us to hard launch because he wanted to piss someone off

ines_alonso right, as if he wasn’t losing his shit earlier charles_leclerc is this what my life is now? you two roasting all the time? alex_albon mate, they do this to you in private all the time already logansargeant the group chat has seen some shit man fernandoalo_oficial she call you and oscar bald headed demons user27 yo, what the fuck goes on in their group chat?

liked by logansargeant, charles_leclerc, ines_alonso and others

oscarpiastri one of us has set fernando, jenson, sebastian, and lewis' kitchens on fire, but i won't tell you who🧡 hint: it's the one who gets offended when you call him french

tagged: ines_alonso, charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc

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arthur_leclerc why am i always getting dragged into shit?

maxverstappen1 because dumb, dumber, and dumbest have two people each they always drag into shit alex_albon this shit isn't funny anymore. i've been suffering with max for ages it should be louie suffering not me. pierregasly free us! logansargeant you two try being in the junior categories with dumb and dumber as they fail to flirt fredrickvestiofficial never been so happy to not have an f1 seat louieee i think you mean, they have two drivers they drag into shit because i don't go through half the shit you guys do. just ask alex how much he suffers in my place ines_alonso honestly fuck you guys

aussiegrit congrats on going public, even if it took you months to tell me.

oscarpiastri it was over a year and a half actually. aussiegrit i take back my congratulations oscarpiastri sebastian wouldn't treat me like this aussiegrit disowned. sebastianvettel welcome to the family oscar aussiegrit go away, who invited you?

user27 not oscar choosing an old picture of him and inés to one up charles

user28 we were in the trenches hoping they would end up together since 2017 user27 real and now they're together with charles.

jensonbutton charles is no longer allowed back in my home

charles_leclerc i was just there 2 weeks ago? lewishamilton more like you're no longer allowed in our kitchens except for fernando's, burn that down if you wish. fernandoalo_oficial this is why you lost 2021 lewishamilton this is why i beat you in 2007 fernandoalo_oficial WE WERE EQUAL IN POINTS! lewishamilton I STILL GOT 2ND PLACE OVER YOU!!

user29 the chaos these three bring to the world of f1 is unmatched

user30 no cause what the fuck do you mean mark ended up with fernando and seb in another universe? user31 this is my favorite f1 inside joke ever

nicolepiastri is this why you said he was never allowed to cook in the house?

charles_leclerc HE TOLD ME YOU DIDN'T LIKE ANYONE IN YOUR KITCHEN?! oscarpiastri i'd like my family to live, thank you very much charles_leclerc you're a liar piastri nicolepiastri every time, every single time ines_alonso imagine what it's like living with them.

user32 all i see is barbie and her kens

ines_alonso I TOLD THEM I WAS BARBIE! alex_albon to be fair, they said you were racer barbie maxverstappen1 then you proceeded to argue over what racing series racer barbie would be in. pierregasly and you called them bald headed demons, again logansargeant all in our group chat while fernando and daniel squabbled over multi-21 for some reason user32 i think i just shit myself...

hattiepiastri the best part about oscar and charles is their girlfriend

ines_alonso best part about oscar is his sisters and mom 🩷 arthur_leclerc and for charles it's his brothers right? ines_alonso no, it's your mom?? arthur_leclerc mommy issues alonso over here fernandoalo_oficial i know where you live leclerc arthur_leclerc nevermind, i take it back. ines_alonso according to charlie i don't have mommy or daddy issues, i have family issues fernandoalo_oficial i know where he lives too. charles_leclerc she was being self-deprecating! YOU SAID THAT WAS ALLOWED! fernandoalo_oficial i will let it slide, this time.

nicolepiastri finally someone who can help you do your laundry

lorenzotl charles dyed all of their white laundry red. fernandoalo_oficial inés caught the washing machine on fire by not clearing out the lint compartment nicolepiastri god help them

user33 i want to know how often charles and inés are causing oscar headaches

oscarpiastri so often that i've lost count. user33 oh it's that bad? ines_alonso he's a bitchass liar is what he is. i've never caused him problems in my life. that is a lie. charles_leclerc i accidently cause problems. it's not on purpose. oscarpiastri inés nearly fell off the balcony trying to grab one of our cats and charles fell down three flights of stairs, more than 5 times already. user33 holy shit, someone get those two hazard pay or something.

lorenzotl maman wants to know if you three are coming over for dinner?

charles_leclerc this couldn't have been a text? lorenzotl oh i tried, someone (you) kept ignoring me so i came here. ines_alonso i would never do this to you lorenzo oscarpiastri i wouldn't either lorenzo charles_leclerc STOP FLIRTING WITH MY BROTHER! ines_alonso have you seen him?? oscarpiastri i do what i want

user34 with every comment i find out more and more about these three

user35 ines and oscar flirting with lorenzo makes so much sense though user36 i've seen enough, netflix get them their own series. forget dts

landonorris what the hell? is this a joke?

oscarpiastri my relationship is very much not a joke lando. despite what max says maxverstappen1 it was one fucking time oscar, let it fucking go. oscarpiastri no ❤️ logansargeant this is why people think max is a part of your relationship. jensonbutton he's not? oscarpiastri jenson i swear to god- user37 the world could not handle the combined powers of lestappen as a couple ❤ by charles_leclerc and maxverstappen1 ines_alonso WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU LIKING THAT SHIT? maxverstappen1 drama.

ZANDVOORT 2023

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ines_alonso they're fine, charles is just dramatic.

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charles_leclerc i am not dramatic

oscarpiastri you lost it over a pair of socks 2 weeks ago. charles_leclerc they're my favorite socks! ines_alonso they look like all your other socks?? charles_leclerc i know which ones are my favorites, thank you very much. oscarpiastri you're so weird sometimes

maxverstappen1 who the fuck did you grab lunch with? cause that sure as hell isn't me or alex??

ines_alonso i have other friends?? alex_albon that's a funny joke. never joke again. maxverstappen1 you actually don't?? ines_alonso i do. alex_albon what are you cooking baby alonso?? ines_alonso cooking up a diabolical plan to get rid of the sf-23 charles_leclerc for legal reasons this is a joke ines_alonso no it isn't

mclaren please tell charles to not tweet a hate tweet about oscar. we need a break over here.

scuderiaferrari don't worry bestie, we got him on lockdown astonmartinf1 free my boy he ain't do nothing wrong

user38 gay (affectionate)

user39 so true bestie, but this doesn't explain the way charles looks at max?? ines_alonso please don't bring it up. it's a sore subject. maxverstappen1 you're just salty because your man likes me more than you oscarpiastri i am not above throttling a dutch fucker verstappen user40 oscar piastri, i'm sorry, i was not aware of your game

user41 OSCAR PIASTRI CALLED MAX A DUTCH FUCKER??

user42 this man is so chaotic. it's always the quiet ones... user43 he's so unhinged. i love him

landonorris wait, so this wasn't a joke??

alex_albon and the award for never being able to read the room goes too... landonorris CARLOS SAID IT WAS A JOKE?? charles_leclerc do you want to see me shove my tongue down oscar's throat?? will you believe it then?? louieee carlos also said he would never cheat on isa and yet here we are?? landonorris who the fuck invited you?? louieee myself, you winless bitch fernandoalo_oficial as the children say, GAGGED HIM!!

user44 the year is 2054 and people are looking back at how f1 world champions charles leclerc and oscar piastri (it's going to happen, trust me) threatened to shove their tongues down each other's throat...

user45 OKAY!! charles threatened to shove HIS tongue down oscar's throat. not oscar. user44 same difference

MONZA 2023

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ines_alonso no one tells you how hard being a double wag is

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lilymhe just be my wag? you never have to struggle with rosso corsa and papaya ever again.

ines_alonso you're so right oscarpiastri back 🤺 off charles_leclerc i am not gods strongest soldier

user45 girl are you forgetting the aston martin of it all??

user46 aston martin daughter, red bull/williams bestie, ferrari/mclaren girlfriend. inés pick a struggle user47 i wish i had that struggle

charles_leclerc how dare you wear his number but not mine?? dishonorable!

georgerussell63 yeah inés, how could you? where is your honor? alex_albon and no mention of her father?? who won monza in 2010?? no honor! maxverstappen1 how could you do this inés?? danielricciardo people these days have no honor ines_alonso oh shut up, you people are dramatic.

patriciooward maybe you should just come to an indycar race. no struggles there.

charles_leclerc she is one comment away from dumping us. please stop patricio. oscarpiastri they only papaya she'll wear is in support of mclaren not arrow mclaren. ines_alonso it's truly a shame the indy 500 falls on the weekend of the monaco grand prix patriciooward a shame really

user48 i think inés and pato live for terrorizing charles and oscar.

user49 the only man charles and oscar seem to be insecure about is patricio o'ward. and honestly, i get it. louieee right?! where do i find a man like that?? user48 louie is the realest person in these comments honestly.

francesca.cgomes ditch the men and become my wag instead.

ines_alonso done. when do i start? oscarpiastri charles might actually get a heart attack if you keep joking about this arthur_leclerc no one ever died of a heart attack charles_leclerc are you serious right now?

user50 i live for the domestics in the comments between oscar, charles, and inés

user51 truly the highlight of my week when they do that

pierregasly i would appreciate it if you would stop flirting with my girlfriend?? she should only be giggling and kicking her feet over me.

ines_alsonso it's not my fault i'm a better flirter than you?? francesca.cgomes she just gets me charles_leclerc gonna go jump off a bridge brb (jokes) user52 had to clarify before pr got on his ass and the sainz family threw a party

user53 no one tells you how hard it is being a double wag because it's never been done before

user54 she may no longer be on the paddock as a driver but she will slay regardless user55 ones thing about inés alonso is that she will ALWAYS slay!!!

¡taglist!

@minmira95 // @lesliiieeeee // @vroomvroommuppett // @prongsvault // @justtprachisblog // @scuderiadevils // @cataf1 // @chezmardybum // @formulaal // @lilsiz // @norstappenvibes // @ironspdy // @nikfigueiredo @hinamesgigantica // @niniluvsainz // @matchaverse // @fakeikeastore // @theseus-jpg // @six-call // @81folklore // @emppusofi // @luvsforme // @nichmeddar // @loloekie // @luvpedro // @donttouchthegnote // @nothaqks // @inferiusreggie // @mochimommy2002 // @rach3164 // @clove08 // @clove0 // @lillysbigwilly // @jenxjar // @blupblupfish // @thereadinggremlin05 // @meowiarty // @magical-spit // @camdensreg // @laneyspaulding19 // @ocyeanicc // @yelenasloverrrrr // @percervall // @blushmimi // @spilled-coffee-cup // @michelleyw81 // @greantii // @ietss // @yeanoskrrt //

¡not taggable!

@ashlovestoread1411 // @books-thingys-andstuff // @nothanqks // @ale-522 // @aandreea_2005 // @Katness1 // @mgmoore // @Scott-McCall-could-lift-mjolnir // @xxx-betty // @ririyulife // @landonorizzz // @moldyshorts1997 // @itstimeforutogo // @yar16 // @em-andemm // @killjoycra // @◇Heart- Trees◇ //

¡leclerc-s speaks!

charles leclerc is a menace, pass it on. i live for charles being a disaster in the kitchen for this fic. it's the funniest running joke in this fic. what me adding side plots for funsies??? why i would never…(i couldn’t help myself) (this also came out way later than i planned)

¡disclaimer!

this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

[syoddeye]

🥺🥺🥺 your drink headcanons are precious 💕 farah, alex, nik, and alejandro’s are my favorites. idk if you do requests but could you do first dates too?

hi friend! i'm glad you liked the asking them to watch your drink post. i do not formally take requests but i love when people pop in with ideas. and i really really like this one! i gave it a go

price. he’s never beating the traditionalist allegations. he is arranging the entire thing, picking you up right on fucking time with flowers, and taking you to dinner somewhere you’d never take yourself. does a poor job of hiding how pleased he is to pay, even worse when he persuades you into a walk and has you on his arm. he asks a lot of deep questions that coming from anyone else would put you off, but he’s not dating to fool around, if you catch my drift.

gaz. this man is so plugged into the music scene. follows bands, artists, and venues religiously because he doesn't get many opportunities to see live music and actually enjoy it. so he asks you for a genre, then sends a redacted screenshot of concert tickets. you grab drinks then head to a hole-in-the-wall. it's always nerve-wracking seeing a musician you know nothing about, but gaz nails it. three dates later and he sends you a personalized playlist. ugh, dreamboat.

soap. listen while i do picture him as a very outdoorsy and active guy, i think for a first date he's going to take you to a drink and draw. it's casual and scales to the mood, meaning it can be both an intimate and cozy experience, or fucking hilarious and a rowdy time. plus it gives him the chance to show off. draws a mini you and him at the end surrounded by trees. what’s that? oh that’s date two. a casual camping trip.

ghost. dinner and a movie. no, he did not just look up 'first date 101'. he's just not big on public places, and he knows that's a hurdle in dating. so he video chats you a few times before arranging the date to get you comfortable with him and to see his place, because babe, he's hosting. he's not the world's best cook so he'll order takeaway if you prefer, and if that goes well, he'll let you pick the movie. what happens after who knows

alejandro. he's the guy that knows the guy that owns the farm that supplies the bougie restaurant you've been wanting to try. and that guy owes him a favor. he drives you out there in his truck and has a table with candles and flowers waiting. he has you sit with your drink of choice and watch him prepare dinner, busting out all the tricks to impress you. yeah, he could’ve taken you to his ranch, but that’ll happen when he figures out he’s serious about you. date three.

rudy. rudy the foodie has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it? it’s weird at first when he insists on picking you up in the early afternoon, but when you arrive to a local food festival, you get it. you need the hours to slowly walk around, and to digest the amount of bite-sized dishes and snacks you sample. he gushes about his family’s cooking, how he wishes he had more time to dedicate to cooking and play around with recipes. gets a little sheepish. you have him eating out of the palm of your hand when you take him to a cookbook store on date two.

kate. in my heart she is a patron of the arts. similar to gaz, she doesn’t get a lot of time to soak it up, so she finds galleries and museums through personal recommendations. she’s got a broad network, why not use it? she’s not a snob either. elbow to elbow at some gallery opening, staring at a befuddling piece of art, she’ll swirl her glass of wine and lean over to whisper, “do you want to get out of here? i can’t make heads or tails of this.”

nik. you are going up in that heli. asks if you want to take a nighttime helicopter ride to see the city by night. jokes about this time a young sergeant fell out and he thought he killed him. ha ha ha. the ride culminates with him landing on the rooftop of a friend’s building, and taking the elevator a few floors down to said friend's restaurant. not feeling fancy? that's okay, to the basement then for gambling and drinks.

farah. it's a surprise. she asks for your physical limitations. hm. what is she playing at? but you trust her. you receive strict instructions on what to wear, and then what extra clothes to bring. hmm. you end up at a rock climbing gym. at first you think, oh god, exercise and a new skill in front of someone cute? but farah is so encouraging and supportive. after, when you clean up, she whisks you away to a reservation that just so happens to be at your fave place. you compare biceps over dessert, and she’s shoots you a sly look when she squeezes your muscle.

alex. if you're up for it, he’d love to take you somewhere in nature. a hike or simple walk at the local park, doesn’t matter to him. he’s more relaxed and himself outdoors, and has the kind of energy that makes you open up. you find a good spot to picnic and talk for hours. real sweet, a good listener—so it surprises you when, at the end, he’s a smidge forward. “so next weekend…”

[eusuntgratie]

tagged by @taste-thewaste and @rewritetheending (yesterday so i'm tagging you back!)

working on a few different things bc of who i am as a person. sharing some snippets from my two malexa docs bc i love them.

perhaps i'll post a wip wednesday game too since i'm juggling so many 🤔

malexa sex club au

Maria must find what she’s looking for, because she pulls her fingers free of his mouth, takes a step back, and sticks her foot in the middle of his chest, pushing until he sprawls backwards onto the floor. Alex takes a few steps towards them without meaning to. Maria stalks over the man, and Alex is proud of the way she exudes power, the way everyone in their vicinity takes notice. She leans her weight into the foot she’s got planted in the middle of his chest, and Alex is close enough to see the way he smiles. He’s loose and he’s feeling good, and he wanted her attention and now that he’s got it he’s clearly fucking flying.

malexa 2x06 morning after (rewatched this episode for the [redacted]th time so i had to work on this one a bit)

“Alex, wait. Come back inside.”  She keeps her face near the window as she thinks about losing Alex, about, “I would never not love you.” About Michael losing Alex, really losing him, and how she knows that would be the thing that could finally break him. She closes her eyes and remembers how good it felt to bring the two of them back together with her mouth and her hands. How she felt awed, not jealous, when she saw the hunger between the two of them. How powerful she felt watching them, touching them, anchoring them, letting them love and touch and be without spinning off course.  “Please,” Michael begs, and it’s like she can feel it, like she’s pleading for Alex to stay too. 

no pressure tagging @basil-bird @lostcol @firenati0n @bigassbowlingballhead @onward--upward

@stratocumulusperlucidus @firstprincehornyramblings @onthewaytosomewhere @insecuregodcomplex @thighzp

[albatris]

HAPPY STORYTELLER SATURDAY! Quesadilla telepathy... are there other times when telepathy is used in the plot? Aside from the Garble Garbling, I mean times characters notice they know what someone else is thinking?

happy storyteller saturday!! thanks for the ask!!

yesss Alex and Nat share a telepathic connection due to sharing each other's blood. usually vampires can't telepathically connect like this, but Nat's blood is MAJOR fucked up

Nat later can share his blood with Quinn too and involve them in his and Alex's little telepathy hivemind, but Quinn can only do it in short bursts, since if Nat leaves his blood in Quinn too long Quinn will end up becoming a vampire or, like, dying due to death and such

the Quinn-Nat-Alex telepathy is actually a major player in the final climax! the way it works is [REDACTED DUE TO SPOILERS]. except in the final climax, Quinn gets stabbed and starts dying and Yvonne is forced to inject herself with Quinn's blood to join the mini hivemind and take over their role hehe

basically, with Nat having DIFFERENT fucked up blood to other vampires, he can sort of create his own little hivemind on the side, similiar to the one the Ethels have with each other

oh, and the Ethels, too, yeah! they have telepathy with each other and have done so for centuries. at this point they're basically one brain across many bodies. so when you talk to one Ethel you're talking to all Ethels. and if multiple Ethels are in the room, their speech will just be passed around between them, swapping between mouths mid-sentence and such, it's highly unsettling

that's about it so far for telepathy! it's not a common occurrence in rentalcar for sure, most vampires can't do it beyond just Sensing each other's presence

:3

[mikibwrites]

Thank you so much @firstprincehornyramblings for tagging me :) Feeling very...not great abt anything lately so thank you for being interested! As always, more from time travel au, this time featuring June being Doneᵀᴹ and it's only day 1

“What are you doing?” she hisses.

“What do you mean? I’m mingling,” he says, shaking her hand off his arm with a small wince. 

“Alex, what is our number one rule? The thing we explicitly agreed on again when we figured out where we were this time?”

“I’m not going to change the course of history by talking to people, June! We do that all the time!” His voice is carrying a bit too much now, as they’ve garnered a few sidelong glances. He knows he’s not been loud enough for the words to be made out, but the fact that they’re arguing in public is probably considered a faux pas in this crowd, so he reels himself in. 

“You know that’s not what I mean, Alex. Don’t think I didn’t notice him this morning. And before we went back to dress.” Alex scoffs, because she’s sort of right but, like, he’s not going to admit to it. “Alex, the [redacted] is literally [redacted], and you’re having a fucking meet-cute!” Her voice is nearly into shrill territory, and she visibly tries to calm herself. 

“It’s not a meet-cute, oh my g–” but she cuts him off with another hiss. 

“I swear to god, Alex, if you tell him–”

“I won’t, okay? Fuck, I won’t. I know better than that.” Does he?

“Do you?” Her eyes bore into him, and against his own instincts, he breaks first. It definitely doesn't help that he subconsciously cuts his eyes back to the door, where he can just make out the tall, blond, broad-shouldered Duke shaking hands with some other stuffed up rich guy, and it makes Alex’s hands tingle just remembering what their own handshake had felt like. Electricity.

No pressure tags, and please please let me know if you don't want to be tagged and I'll remove you. @alrightbuckaroo @bonheur-cafe @porcelainmortal @catdadacd @henryspearl @theprinceandagcd @carlos-in-glasses @onthewaytosomewhere

@miss-minnelli @strandnreyes @thesleepyskipper @anincompletelist And as always, OPEN tag anyone else who wants to post! Please tag me :)

[sdvshanewife]

Gonna be honest and say that I don’t even think shane is rude he’s just not very nice. (Obviously all early on) first meeting he says the thing why are you talking to me I don’t know you. Which is a) true and b) not that bad he’s just like bruh who are you man. Okay woah not very friendly like most of the town but just how it is sometimes

And I feel like no one ever considers the actual situation afterwards. If you keep talking to him despite him very obviously wanting to be left alone and have somewhat made it clear the first time that’s on you?? He SAID leave him alone. The player isn’t respecting that and keeps talking to him. Obviously in stardew valley it all works out happy ending they get married yeah yeah everything’s okay but. In the real world if you keep bothering a guy who tells you to Leave Him Alone and he starts saying stuff like “what do you want” “go away” that is literally entirely on the person who doesn’t listen to him and you know, leave him alone?? It is so insane to me that people act like he’s the worst, acting like you said hi and he went “fuck you and your entire family I hope you die in a [redacted]”. Okay, I’ll agree that he’s not nice. But It is genuinely crazy to me that people agree that he’s apparently such a huge jerk. I think we’re all used to the town being really welcoming and warm and friendly so when he’s like that it’s unexpected and a bit of a shock, and I also understand being sensitive to stuff like this (no hate to that at all)

But I do not understand people who think others actually own them conversation just because…? and when someone doesn’t want to be bothered they are somehow lacking in personal morality. That is wild to me. Is it weird? Yeah maybe depends on where you’re from. Does it say something about who they are as a person? Probably not. At least less than they think.

I guess the fact that Stardew is expected to be a wholesome warm fuzzy game also plays into it. Like why are you like this it’s stinking up my cozy little game etc etc. And I get that but I don’t think it’s fair because Shane’s thing is not the only heavy topic in this game. Alex dealing with a parental loss and iirc also past abuse from his father!! Pam’s alcoholism and as a result putting Penny through so much bullshit and responsibility she shouldn’t have had to shoulder!! Kent is a former pow with ptsd!! And more that’s “milder” but still not all sunshines and rainbows. I know Stardew has the reputation of being cozy and warm and it’s true but that is mostly due to the players saying it themselves. There was no promise that there would not be heavier topics in the game at all. And it’s also handled well (not like uhh sudden horror twists or stuff) and is not otherwise very “out of place” so yeah it’s not fair to expect that from the game or him.

Um honestly by this point I’m not that mad anymore so

Live laugh shane our mantra yeah

the reason people make out shane to be ruder than he actually is is because they compare him to the other villagers that say hi and are friendly blah blah blah. it's also just expected for people to be friendly or atleast be "decent" (for a lack of a better word?) when you talk to them (or when they talk to you). when someone doesnt want to talk, theyre expected to not be so blunt and be like "oh sorry, i dont really wanna talk right now" and not be as direct as shane is.

i dont really agree with the "stardew valley is made out to be a cozy game". while i understand where you're coming from, most people don't mind the heavy topics, what they do care about is the way shane acts. ive never seen people complaining about penny's, alex's, or kent's stories which contain heavy topics. they're easier to sympathize with because the characters are nice.

LIVE LAUGH SHANE

[penncilkid]

Top 5 listener designs you’ve made :D

EEE okay this is fun cause I get to toss my art out again /pos (This also reminded me that I don't draw my listeners nearly enough so whoops /lh)

Zabdiel [Freelancer/Deviant] is probably my favorite off the top of my head, I just adore this sketch so much

Then Marcel [Starlight] came to mind (unsurprising if you know me)

Maia [Darlin] has to be on the list (again, unsurprising if you know me /lh) (On the right is the old design for Alex, one of Veau's "Angel's)

Ayl [Lovely] came to mind as well, but I think I'm partially biased 'cause this is a recent piece I'm really proud of

And then obligatory choice of adding Malakhi [Baabe] since they were part of my first colored piece of Redacted Fanart (except I'm showing this version instead /lh)

I haven't drawn/designed them yet (visually) but I anticipate that I'm gonna have a lot of fun with Dejah [Cutie] as well as my "Treasure" whenever I get around to designing them (which might be sooner rather than later given the recent Porter vid)

[Bonus Submission (given its the anniversary + I'm proud as fuck of this piece too)]: My version of "Sherlock" from NeXus <333

[getmehighonmagic]

WIP Wednesday, January 31st, 2024

I got tagged by soooo many people for Sunday Six and I just sat here, depressed because I didn't think I have anything exciting to share, haha! Thank you so so so much to all you lovely people (who I'll be tagging down below) for including me, I saw all of you and I appreciate it, despite me being a bum ♥

I've been writing bits and bobs here and there, mostly to work ahead of Kinktober (because last year's Kinktober was stressful, lemme tell you that) so today's snippet is from one of my Kinktober prompts. After I've finished this one, I'll be writing my Valentine's Day fic, so hopefully next snippet will be a bit more exciting!

The prompt is 'Unusual sex toys'. I'm redacting some words to keep the surprise, hehe:

He teases the [redacted] over Alex’s Adam's apple, drags it over his jaw and along the shell of his ear, before he lets it follow the path his mouth has left behind - down his neck, over his collar bones and through the prominent crease between his pecs. He lingers there, as he traces a finger of his free hand over Alex’s hip; circles the bone, before following the dip that leads to his pelvis. “Nng,” Alex whines, tensing his thighs under Henry’s weight, “you’re barely touching me and I already feel like I’m going insane.” “Oh, love,” Henry smiles, wrapping the curve between his thumb and first finger around the base of Alex’s cock, “you’ve always been insane. That argument has never been on the table.” Alex huffs. “I thought you loved me,” he sulks, but then gasps when Henry squeezes him while simultaneously tracing one of his nipples with the [redacted]. “Fuck, please…” He lets his head fall back again, closing his eyes.

No pressure tagging @firenati0n @magicandarchery @violetbaudelaire-quagmire @bigassbowlingballhead @eusuntgratie @lostcol @happiness-of-the-pursuit @affectionatelyrs @anchoredarchangel @anincompletelist @clottedcreamfudge @congee4lunch @heybuddy-drabbles @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @matherines @ninzied @rmd-writes @sparklepocalypse @kiwiana-writes @wordsofhoneydew @cricketnationrise @winderlylandchime @indestructibleheart @priincebutt ♥

[freneticfloetry]

Hump Day is here again… Sadly, no one in my snippets is humping. But I’ve missed the last few Wednesdays, and since we’re now double-fisting fandoms up in this bitch, we’re doubling down on the sneak peeks as well!

Smooches to @paperstorm, @strandnreyes, @orchidscript, @heartstringsduet, @lemonlyman-dotcom, @whatsintheboxmh, @carlos-in-glasses, @alrightbuckaroo, and @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad for the tag love today. 🥰

Have another little taste of the Glimpse Fic, what should’ve been you…

"It's nice, you know? To just be —"

He cuts himself off and flicks uneasy eyes to TK before he looks down at his hands. TK's brain starts frantically trying to fill in the blank, each option somehow worst than the last — with a guy who knows what the hell he wants and in a relationship without so much bullshit baggage and able to make plans for a future with a man who won’t just walk the fuck out — but he's done this to Carlos in two lifetimes now, and at least it was only once here.

"It's okay." He swallows hard, trying not to squirm in his seat. "To be what?"

When Carlos looks up again, it's with wide, wet eyes that are all too familiar.

"To be enough for someone," he says, halfheartedly shrugging one shoulder like the words aren't worse than anything TK could imagine. "I wasn't sure if I'd ever get that."

And in honor of ACD’s birthday, here’s a look at what will soon be baby’s first (posted) FirstPrince (title redacted).

“I just… I never want us to be those people. The ones who hang on too long, or make each other fucking miserable trying to stay together for the sake of the kids.”

“Well, there may be a modicum of merit in that. David would miss you terribly.”

Alex snorts. “David would trade me to terrorists for two slices of bacon and a handful of mystery crumbs.”

Henry hums, so desperately enamored he’s dizzy with it. “And such is the plight of any half-decent parent.”

“Whatever,” Alex groans. “Fuck, I love him so much.”

Tagging in @ambiguouspenny, @never-blooms, @liminalmemories21, @reyesstrand, @rmd-writes, @herefortarlos, @three-drink-amy, @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut, @mixtapestar, @hoko-onchi-writes, and @welcometololaland.

[indestructibleheart]

Summarizing My WIPs Badly

I was tagged by @kiwiana-writes and @cha-melodius.

I'm going to include everything that actually has a doc (or folder lol)—even the things that have an empty doc, lmfao. None of these are the actual titles of their respective documents.

@kiwiana-writes and I constantly try to one-up each other in the emotional pain stakes, but in fic form*

thank god the time loop restarts right before they kiss and not later in the evening, or this would be straight-up edging the reader

alex dreams about the lake house while henry deals with his mommy issues

fine. fine. fine.

let's get very literal about modernizing a mythological concept

henry never thought of alex as forgettable. we must all be wrong sometimes.

what if i took all of the world-building from one of my favorite universes and threw almost everything else out because fuck [REDACTED]?

henry suffers the consequences of writing something really fucking meta. alex has no idea what the fuck is going on.

i'm obsessed with this one, single line in the book. what if it were a whole fucking fic at a private school?

banishment to texas*

henry is shy. and also green.

As a bonus to this, I invite anyone reading this to send me asks telling me which ones you wanna see next and/or to get more info about any of the above. You might get a snippet, or a bit of outline, or just some unhinged rambling!

* I'm keeping the details of this one close to my vest, so I won't just ramble info like the others, but I will answer specific questions if they don't give away the farm.

Tagging some lovelies under the cut. If you have not been tagged and you want to be, consider this your tag!

@anchoredarchangel, @cricketnationrise, @firenati0n, @guillermosfamiliar, @hgejfmw-hgejhsf, @hippolotamus, @inexplicablymine, @junebugclaremontdiaz, @lizzie-bennetdarcy @missgeevious, @mulderscully, @myheartalivewrites, @ninzied, @nontoxic-writes, @notspecialbabe, @priincebutt, @three-drink-amy, @treluna4, @vanillahigh00, @welcometololaland, @orchidscript, @ships-to-sail, @stereopticons