#fuck this julius caesar month

[t1erradelfuego]

fuck around february and find out march are twin sisters to me

[giantkillerjack]

I HAVE BEEN LEARNING ABOUT MISTER AUGUSTUS OCTAVIAN/OCTAVIUS GAIUS CAESAR SINCE 8TH GRADE. HOW AM I STILL LEARNING MORE THINGS ABOUT HIM THAT MAKE ME GO "octavius babe holy shit what the fuck what the FUCK dude"

[blossomingmoonlight]

⭑ Mine all mine ⭑

Masterlist

Pairing: (TGC) Gaius Julius Caesar x fem!reader

A/N: as requested by multiple people ;)

Warnings: +18 mdni, mutual pining, cheating reader, murdered/poisoned husband, affair, making out, grinding/humping, oraljob (both f and m receiving), handjob (both f and m receiving), vaginal sex and creampie.

Summary: You hated your husband and want to be rid of him, luckily you meet a certain man who will change your life.

Word count: 3.6k

Another boring fucking supper party hosted by your boring fucking husband. You were only married to him for about two months but you never wanted him. All you got married for was the money and power your husband could provide. You came from a great ancient family in Rome.

So does he, your husband was a well known and feared senator. Quite an important man, but also old. And not to mention gross and too horny. It was well known you were beautiful and from when you were young you had many suitors lined up, begging for your fathers approval, but your husband was the richest, so he won.

You rolled your eyes as he looked way too proud to have you at his side. You greeted your his guests and your husband got many envious stares from his male guests. You never needed to persuade him much, many men fell to their knees at the sight of you. And you knew that even though you were a ‘helpless’ woman, you at least had that power.

Many old, ugly and plain people passed you, while the women all gave you glares. You never understood why they had to be so envious while you were all in it together. Most women were actually girls, some even as young as 14 to 15. You were more lucky though, you were married the day you turned 18. Some consider that too late but those were your fathers terms. 

You were very grateful for him and you knew that he would have your back. You started to get more and more bored when the amount of people didn’t seem to end, luckily you had one of the biggest houses in Rome and it could fit thousands of people if it had to. But the guest list for tonight was only about two hundred. Two hundred of the most important people in Rome. 

But then it seemed time slowed when a certain brown haired man stopped to greet your ugly husband. The man then introduced himself to you. “Gaius Julius Caesar, thank you for having me, it’s a beautiful home. Almost as beautiful as you, it is true what they say... You are very lucky.” He said that last part while turning to your husband before joining the larger party in the main hall. Your husband thinned his lips and looked at you angrily.

You shrugged your shoulders and placed a hand on his, faking your empathy for the idiot. He of course fell for it, as always, and went back to greeting the last guests strolling in. Only a couple more stiff smiles before finally the whole party was here, and your husband went to check on some of his men. You strided towards some women you knew growing up and started a conversation with them. 

They provided you with some gossip and soon you were talking about the husbands all of you wanted instead of the ones you got. So you told them about Gaius and of course they knew who you were talking about. “Of course you want the most devious one of them, and I bet you could get him too, I saw how he looked at you, only moments ago.” One of them told you. And sure enough, when you looked over one of the women’s shoulders, his brown eyes were looking at you.

You smiled at him, the way you did when you ‘persuaded’ your husband, he grinned back. One of his men looked at him questioningly. “Too bad she’s already married.” Agrippa whispered to Gaius, which earned him an annoyed look. “So? Divorce exists.” He fired back. “You really think that that old man is going to let a woman like her go? And what if she’s pregnant? She’ll have to give up that child.” Agrippa argued. 

“Don’t think she is, a girl like her wouldn’t let an old fuck like him touch her.” He smiled, Agrippa rolled his eyes. “She doesn’t have a choice obviously, that’s why she very well could be.” Gaius got annoyed by his friend and needed a break from his constant nagging. He always got what he wanted and he would have you too.

He strolled over to Cicero’s wife, not nearly as pretty as you but he was hard from your smiles at him and he needed relief. He wasn’t too sure about getting away with fucking you at your own husband’s party. So the desperate one would do, he knew she would do anything he asked, he was one of the most young, handsome and richest ones here. 

So he whispered something in her ear, that of course didn’t go unnoticed by you and jealousy filled your chest. Your face fell, and he glanced at you while he discreetly followed the other woman up the stairs. You decided to ignore it and went back to talking with your ‘friends’ instead. You did learn that he wasn’t married and you envied him. He could do whatever he wanted but you couldn’t.

You tried to focus on anything else but the thought of him fucking that other woman right now but you couldn’t and before you knew it you had excused yourself and rapidly ascended the stairs. Glancing behind, you saw your husband and his guests busy talking and drinking. He didn’t have a fucking clue.

You searched around the quiet upper floor for a while, until you heard soft groans and moans. The sounds lead you closer and closer to your own bedchamber. When you pulled the soft fabric aside and your eyes met his, he was laid on your bed with the woman between his legs, sucking him off. He started to pant and moan faster at the sight of you.

The sounds and the sight of such an arousing scene made heat puddle in your own belly. And soon you were panting along with him, your eyes never left each other and the look on your face quickly made him cum in the woman’s mouth, waking you up and moving yourself behind the fabric again, being careful the woman didn’t see you when she left. 

Then he appeared from behind the curtain, giving you a wink as he walked off. “That’s Cicero’s wife.” Your words made him turn around as he walked back over to you. “Yes.” He replied curtly. “I thought he was your friend.” He stepped closer to you. “He is. He married her because her family’s rich. That’s why everyone gets married, money, power, family. They’re the only things that matter.”

You looked up at him and he glanced at your lips, licking his own. “To the son of a money lender I’m sure that’s true.” He smiled and inhaled. “Grandson.” He mumbled, before crashing his lips on yours. You whimpered at the sudden feeling and he only deepened the kiss, gripping your hips tightly. Your hand travelled up his leg and he leaned into your touch. Then you squeezed his bulge, he let go of your lips and groaned in response. 

“That’s my bed.” You said, he looked at you with heavy eyes. Then you let go of him, leaving him there with another erection. You went back to the party and your husband, much to your approval, was already drunk, good, no sex tonight. He had only fucked you once on your wedding night, but his seed didn’t take root so you were still free from the burden of a child, but you knew that one day he would succeed, so you had to take action.

The party was soon over and the guests started to leave, you were once again at your husband's side but now bidding them goodnight. And soon enough Gaius walked past, only giving you a grin. Your husband looked at you questioningly but you again pretended not to know Gaius’ intentions. Since he was still drunk he quickly forgot and the last of the guests had left for the night.

That night you were thankfully in your own bed, your husband passed out in his own and your hand slid down your stomach between your thighs, pleasuring yourself to the thought of him. And that night after you had one of the best orgasms of your life, you dreamt of him. Gaius Julius Caesar, showing up on a huge white stallion with a hundred knights, slaying your husband and claiming you as his. 

A few months went by and everytime you still managed to avoid being with child. Much to your husband’s dismay, who grew more impatient and annoyed. But you promised him that soon you would bear a son. This was not true, when he did have sex with you, you had your servant bring you water, and you washed his spend out of you. So far it worked, as you showed no signs. 

You were only a few moments back home from the market with some other wives when your husband barged in. Snapping you out of your thoughts as you admired some of your new jewellery. “I have good news!” He laughed. It made your stomach curl. “Gaius Julius Caesar himself has invited us to a supper party at his house. Some three hundred are invited and we are one of them!” Now that made your smile return. 

So only a few nights later you arrived at Gaius’ house, it was even bigger than yours and he greeted you with a big smile. Your idiot of a husband didn’t even notice, taking in the house. Soon you were joining the larger party and your husband was quickly lost in the crowd. Good. You didn’t need that fool tonight. No, your plans were different from his. Tonight you would get yourself a new husband. 

It didn’t take long for him to find you, you purposely had left to ‘catch some air’ and had walked to the balcony outside. He walked up behind you and joined your side. “You enjoying the party?” He asked. “Not really.” You responded, looking at him with heavy eyes. His tongue pressed the inside of his cheek. “Me neither. Follow me up soon, third door to the left.” With that he made his way back inside.

Moments later when you knew for sure he was in his room already, your feet guided you inside, and you as discreetly as possible made your way upstairs. You passed the doors, one, two, three. You knocked on the door and it opened fast, a hand pulling you inside. “No one followed you?” You shook your head. His lips then pressed against yours and he pulled you against him tightly. He broke the kiss for only a moment.

“I will make you mine.” He groaned against your lips. You smiled and his tongue soon invaded your mouth. You moaned at the feeling, heat cursed through you and you knew you had made the right decision. He moved both of your bodies towards the bed, climbing on top of you. Then he started to nip and suck at your neck, your moans echoing through his room. Never had you felt such pleasure from so little.

“Gonna show you how a husband is supposed to fuck his wife.” He growled against your skin. You gasped at his words and he harshly ripped off your robes, sucking and licking at your exposed skin. Your body responded beautifully to his touch and he had never been this hard in his life. Your own body was aching as well, begging him for relief.

He kissed down your bare body and didn’t neglect your breasts, he flicked his tongue over your nipples and you shivered at the sensation. Is this what sex is supposed to be? When he was pleased with your now sensitive nipples he kissed down until he reached your glistening folds. He licked his lips before dipping his head down, licking at your clit. Your back arched and a loud cry left your lips.

“Feels good doesn’t it? My little slut, you’re all mine now.” He groaned swiftly going back in. He moaned against your cunt when he grinded his hard cock against the bed. Only adding to your own pleasure. Your hand moved to his head, grabbing his brown locks for support. He saw this as a sign to move his tongue faster and so he rapidly flicked his tongue over your clit. 

You could barely breathe, the pleasure was suffocating you and you could only whimper at the warm tongue between your legs. He noticed your peak was near and moved his hand to enter a finger inside you, sliding it further in until he reached that sensitive spot inside you. He knew he found it when you jerked at his touch. He never slowed down his tongue as he now fingered you as well, bringing you to edge of release.

With only two more licks and a press against your sensitive spot inside, you contracted when your climax rushed through you, coming with a loud cry of his name. You didn’t give a single fuck about if anyone had heard you, since he made you cum so hard you saw spots. When the overwhelming feeling had calmed, you looked down at him, he was still between your legs, resting his face on your left thigh. Your juices over his face and his pupils blown wide.

He only allowed you a moment before he came back up, licking your lips and into your mouth when you opened it on instinct. He let go off you for a moment to take off his own robes, revealing abs and a dark happy trail leading to his thick hard cock. It had veins and a red leaking tip. You couldn’t wait to put it in your mouth, nevertheless inside you.

You sat up and moved on your knees, Gaius positioned himself on the bed, him now in your previous place against the pillows. You moved between his legs now and realised you had never sucked a cock before. Your husband always just immediately penetrated you and that was the end of it. “Do you ever do this for your husband?” He asked, his voice raspy as his eyes were glued to your tits. You shook your head. “Good.” 

He motioned you to come closer and he wrapped your hand around his cock, helping you pump it up and down. “Now just kiss it, and then wrap your lips and suck on it.” You did as told, you knew you’d do anything to him. You carefully kissed his tip, right at the slit where pre cum was dribbling out and he hissed at the feeling. Then you wrapped your lips around his uncut cock, he helped you pull the skin down a bit so his whole tip was exposed. You instinctively let your tongue swirl around his angry head, and he let out a cry of pleasure. 

You stopped for a moment, “Am I better than that whore from my husband’s party?” A grin played on his lips, “She doesn’t even slightly compare to you.” You smiled at his words and went back to swirling your tongue over his tip. “Fuck- go deeper- take it deeper- ah!” You took him deeper in your throat as he commanded and he grabbed your head. His other hand furiously holding on to the sheets.

He wasn’t too long but he was very thick and his was so much prettier and bigger than your husbands, it made you drool all over his cock. You wondered what his response would be to fondling his sack so you moved your free hand up his leg. He looked down at you with an open mouth, completely frozen when you started to massage his balls. He could only let out hitched breaths and grunts.

“K-keep going- almost there- please!” He moaned when you licked his slit, your other hand still giving his balls attention too. And soon his abdomen tensed, his breath stuck in his throat as his cock twitched in your mouth, then his seed spurted down your throat, a guttural moan leaving his. “Fuckkkk!” He came so much it dripped out of your mouth, on your chin as well as his shaft and balls. He gasped and moaned at the sight.

You let go of his cock and swallowed the salty liquid, he sat up and swiped his thumb over your chin, gathering the remainder of his seed and putting it in your mouth. You made sure to suck his thumb all clean before he pulled it out, chuckling at how dirty he had already made you. Gaius then pulled you towards him by your waist so you laid upon his chest. “I will have one of my men discreetly kill your idiot husband, so you might be mine.” You looked at him with uncertainty. “What?” He asked. 

“How though? My husband is a powerful man, we have a lot of guards.” He smiled sweetly at you before kissing your head. “Don’t worry about that, Agrippa and I will make a plan. Then we shall have the most beautiful wedding Rome has ever seen.” And so you got dressed after a while and looked for your husband. Gaius gave you a smile before blending in with the crowd. 

You were awoken by screams of members of the household, it had been a week since the party of Gaius and you anxiously awaited for your husband's death. You and Gaius knew he would never divorce you and so he had to die, in order for you to marry him. You threw the sheets off you and ran to where the screams were coming from. Your husband's room, finally. You were stopped by one of the servants who begged you to stay back but you pushed past him.

There he laid, in his bed, In a puddle of blood. Blood stain trails out of his nostrils, tear ducts and mouth, even out of his ears. What had Gaius done to him? Clearly some sort of poison. You pretended to be surprised and screamed, pretending to want to go to him and ‘struggling’ against the servant's grip holding you back, he then led you back to your room. Not long after the body was removed, the news was all over Rome. And a grim funeral followed. Gaius attended as well as his friend Agrippa and he ‘comforted’ you during the remembrance supper. 

Two days after the funeral, Gaius arrived at your house. You, by law, had inherited the estate and got approval to find a new husband, what the senate didn’t know, was that you had already picked one. And so the news of your wedding soon spread like wildfire across Rome, the women jealous and talking about how fast you had found a new husband. But you didn’t care.

The wedding itself was somehow better than your previous. A thousand had come, and you wore the finest jewellery and fabrics. Even Gaius had on a marvellous robe and his hair was for once neat. You couldn’t help but stare and smile at each other during the ceremony and it was soon officiated with a heated kiss. Gathering a loud applause from the guests. The rope that tied your gown was loosely fastened, ensuring Gaius would have easy access later that night.

You only had a quick supper party after the ceremony, wanting nothing more than to finally fuck your new husband. So you rushed up the stairs, not bothering to wait for the last guests to leave and immediately rushing to his bedchamber, slamming the door shut behind him he almost jumped you. Slamming his lips against yours in a frenzied kiss.

“Finally I have you.” He said between kisses, once again moving you to his bed. But this time it was you who climbed on top of him, grounding your hips against his, he easily pulled the rope out of its knot. Your gown almost fell off you with the rope discarded but Gaius helped pull it off anyway.

You could already feel how soaked you were. Your heated kiss resumed and Gaius’ hips bucked up into yours eagerly. “How about I just fuck you right now hm?” He groaned. He didn’t even pull off his own robe, rather he helped you lift up the skirts, revealing his aching cock. You held yourself steady with both hands on his chest, he lined his length up at your entrance and you carefully sank down on him.

Both of your moans filled the room, the sensation of his cock filling you up so well becoming overwhelming. “So fucking tight-” He gritted out, hips snapping up into you as his patience had run out. He had to have you, fill you with his child. The thought of you waddling around with a swollen belly made him dizzy. 

You rode him with urgence wanting nothing more than for him to fill you with his cum, the thought drove you crazy. His cock hit that sensitive spot inside you with every thrust and it made you a blabbering moaning mess, clenching down on his cock as you came with a cry. His grip on your hips tightened and he fucked into you mercilessly, soon his hips started to falter and cuss after cuss left his lips. With a couple more harsh pounds into you he filled you with his seed.

And just like last time, he came so much, it dripped out of you. He quickly turned you around and pulled out in the process. With two fingers he pushed his cum back inside ensuring a child would be on the way soon. And it worked, in no time you were walking around with a swollen belly, a proud look on Gaius’ face. But of course he still fucked you every night.

[copperbadge]

Hey Sam! Just a request - I've seen a lot of posts musing on how the Ides of March is now an extended Tumblr Festival. Which I find humorous because of the way the Romans described their days in the first place. However I am pretty terrible at explaining counting things (it's a brain deal), so could you expand on the ante diem and pridie countdown for the uninitiated, please?

Oh man Anon, you are asking me to grasp backwards twenty years for this knowledge :D

The Romans couldn't do anything the easy way, so their method of assigning dates in a month was what I would refer to as "real fucked up". Mind you, I'm sure if I grew up doing it, I'd be fine with it. Basically they marked certain phases of the moon (Kalends, Nona, and Ides) and counted down the days to each as a way of marking dates. I never mastered the exact timing of it all but there's a pretty good description here.

So instead of saying "March tenth" they'd say ante diem V Idus Martius or "Five days before the Ides of March". The day after the Ides was however-many-days until the Kalends, and so forth (et cetera!).

Pridie just refers to the day directly before one of the three, at least as far as I recall. So yesterday was ante diem II Idies Martius, but today would not be ante diem I ides Martius, it would be pridie ides Martius.

So like, Felices Pridie Ides Martius, happy Ides Eve. Don't forget to throw a note over the courtyard wall informing Brutus that the masses support him.

(Also not to be crass and capitalist but I wrote an erotic gay novella about the assassination of Julius Caesar if you guys like gay sex and descriptions of weird Roman food.)

[lifeisstrange-incorrectquotes]

Max: I hate that SEPTember, OCTober, NOVember and DECember are not the seventh, eighth, ninth, and tenth months.

Nathan: Whoever fucked this up should be stabbed.

Warren: If I recall, they did used to be the corresponding months. It was just when Roman leaders Julius Caesar and Augustus came into power, the months July (Julius) and August (Augustus) were added, thus throwing off the numbering of the calendar.

Chloe: Good news, though: whoever fucked it up did, in fact, get stabbed.

[victoriadallonfan]

Hi, since I haven't seen anyone mention this on reddit or tumblr, I'd just like to say, as someone whose first language isn't english, Worm's cape names are fucking weird. Are all of them words? Who knows, i read Worm and Ward without knowing Eidolon and Brandish are real words and not made up words. Or they are words i know but idk wich meaning is? Is March like the month or like the organized walking verb? So do all cape names mean something, and say something about the one who chose them? I refuse to google them at this point, but Anelace? Cinereal? Myrrdin? Couldn't they pick more known 2 word combinations? Do parahumans get a discount on thesaurus? Thats all I wanted to say, thanks. PS. Wildbow, the fuck you doing using Califa de Perro as a name, couldn't you ask any Spanish speaker?, i'll kill you.

BIG ANALYSIS INCOMING

Eidolon = spectre, phantom, and idolized object/person

Brandish = to flourish and wave about an item, usually a weapon. Also an epitaph for Athena

March = to move in a uniform manner and derivative of the roman god of war, Mars

Anelace = double-sided dagger used by civilians

Cinereal = grey matter of the brain and nervous system

Myrrdin = Too many to count but generally tied to Myrddin Wylt, prophetic folklore bard and a facet of Merlin (genuinely more work than I can ever give on the topic of how insanely intertwined those myths are)

The thing about Wildbow's cape names are two-fold:

In the 80+ years of superhero genre, a LOT of cape names have been chosen and used already. Taylor mentions this to Armsmaster as a meta-joke in the first arc (ironically, DC also has a Skitter, who debuted in 2011.... the same year as Worm), so he has to be creative and sometimes creativity is simplicity.

He loves giving character names multiple meanings.

To go down the list:

Eidolon's name is ironic, because he notably not idolized (and pushed out of the spotlight compared to Legend), and he ends up becoming one of GU's spectres.

Brandish creates weapons, yes, but there's connection to Pallas (brandishing) and Athena accidentally killing him while distracted to Victoria accidentally caving her head in while distracted. (There are several story iterations, including one where they had a parental relationship).

March is about how she organizes her megacluster like an army or marching band, but also reference to her civilian name (May), the Mad March Hare from Alice in Wonderland (which her entire fight with Vista is a huge reference to), and the Ides of March (notorious for the stabby stab stab of Julius Caesar)

Anelace is a master of weapons, but he's notably reluctant about that fact, and is noted to have a healthy civilian life by other characters

Cinereal is the grey matter of the brain. She is the Atlanta Protectorate leader that turns things into grey matter (ash)

Myrddin = See the King Arthur and various clusterfuck of mythos

Even his main characters have this: Taylor tailor makes her outfits and is a silk Weaver, Khepri is an Egyptian god that bring a sunny morning... and she debuted on Gold Morning. Victoria is a Roman Goddess of Victory (Contessa uses her to find "the Path to Victory"), Antares means "Anti-Ares/Rival of Ares/Anti-War" and is the constellation "heart of the scorpion" which is Victoria inside of the wretched forcefield. We can even stretch this to Khepri and Antares: Khepri is a beetle that carries the sun on to a new day. Antares is a binary sun system (with one sun being invisible to the naked eye). In the slaughterhouse 9 fight, Taylor and her beetle (khepri) carry Victoria and the fragile one (antares) to safety (to live another day).

WE CAN EVEN GO FURTHER: Atlas is the man holding up the sky in Greek Mythology, which Taylor names her beetle. Victoria's PHO name is Point_Me_@_The_Sky (which is also a Pink Floyd reference). In Worm, Atlas holds Victoria up in the sky.

Its really fun to analyze.

Califa seems to be a simple goof. Or maybe Taylor just butchered his name.

They can't all be winners.

[neophytepagan]

for caecade ask... I'm curious if u have any thoughts on arcades ending when hes sold to the legion. Caesar mourning him for months after is so insane to me augh

suicide and death warning....

of course a lot of the shipping aspect of it is reliant on this scenario, which ultimately ends in tragedy rivaling the greeks. its both very poetic and bittersweet. intentionally so. arcade is always running from everything in his life, and even in bondage he finds a way to escape. I sometimes toy with the idea of turning it into more of a cleopatra thing, the parallels are more ... intense since cleopatra was julius caesar's lover. But arcade going out of his way to make his suicide as gruesome and painful for himself as possible just to one up caesar one last time? Thats intense. He went out of his way to hurt Caesar, Arcade KNOWS in this ending just how much Caesar cares for him in advance. He knows taking himself out of the equation will devastate him. And after years of being caesar's slave, its much more of an impulsive thing. Something pushed him over the edge, out of the complacency he's gotten into in order to protect himself from reality. And i really like to imagine when Caesar finds him with the life draining out of him, too weak to move or struggle, Arcade is smiling, letting out a breathy laugh while Caesar is in utter disbelief. Because hes won. Hes going to be free now and caesar cant do anything. Caesar's screaming crying trying to press down on his organs and keep him alive — you cant leave me. everyone fucking leaves me. And caesar has his his bloody hands on arcade's palid cheeks when he goes limp in his arms

[random-musings-of-life]

A (Mostly) Comprehensive List of Tumblr Holidays

I saw this post about Tumblr holidays/celebrations, and there were a ton of them, so I decided to make an organized list and their meanings. I am also adding famous "fandom holidays" to this list. Feel free to point out any I missed/explained incorrectly and I'll add them!

Tuesday:

Supernatural Tuesday --- an episode of Supernatural was about a time loop where it was always Tuesday. Can be posted on any Tuesday.

Leave the Bog --- a meme with a drawing saying "When it's safe to leave the bog" and an arrow pointing to Tuesday. Can be posted on any Tuesday.

Thursday:

Out of Touch Thursday --- a video of the cast from the anime Lucky Star dancing to the song "Out of Touch" by Hall and Oates. Can be posted on any Thursday.

Thursday the 20th --- a screencap of a rapper in The Simpsons with a gold necklace that says "Thursday the 20th". Can only be posted on Thursdays which are also the 20th of their month.

February:

Galentine's Day --- February 13th. From an episode of Parks and Rec where Leslie dedicates this day to celebrating female friendship.

March:

Pi Day --- March 14th. The first digits of pi, 3.14, line up with "March 14" or 3/14.

The Ides of March --- March 15th. The day that Julius Caesar was assassinated. Many memes and jokes are made about him, the assassination in general, or bad luck.

Evergiven/Suez Canal Anniversary --- March 23rd. Refers to an event where a ship, the Evergiven, got stuck in the Suez Canal.

94 Meetings Day --- March 31st. From an episode of Parks and Rec where April doesn't think this day exists and books all of Ron's appointments then.

April:

April Fools --- April 1st. Also a real world holiday. The most popular prank is Rickrolling.

Mishapocalypse --- April 1st. On this day, Tumblr users spam one specific photo of Misha Collins, who played Castiel on Supernatural, where he is looking at the camera wide-eyed.

Neil Banging Out the Tunes --- April 13th. Refers to a photo of a rat by a children's keyboard with the caption "Neil banging out the tunes April 13th 2006".

Homestuck Day --- April 13th. The birthday of Homestuck, a web comic. It is/was one of the most popular fandoms on Tumblr.

It's Gonna Be May --- April 30th. Comes from a GIF of Justin Timberlake singing the song "It's Gonna Be Me". In the song, he pronounces "me" like "May".

May:

Star Wars Day --- May 4th. It comes from a pun between "May the force" and "May the Fourth".

Revenge of the Fifth --- May 5th. It comes from a pun between "Revenge of the Sith" and "Revenge of the Fifth".

June:

Let Papyrus Say "Fuck" Day --- June 16th. Someone who was annoyed with mischaracterization of Papyrus from Undertale established this holiday and it caught on.

July:

Dashcon Anniversary --- July 11th. Dashcon was a poorly organized attempt to hold a Tumblr convention.

September:

21st Night of September --- September 21st. The day referenced in the catchy disco song "September" by Earth, Wind, and Fire.

Frodo and Bilbo's Birthday --- September 22nd. The joint birthday of Frodo and Bilbo Baggins from The Lord of the Rings.

October:

Mean Girls Day --- October 3rd. This comes from the part of the movie where Cady's crush asks her what day it is.

Treat Yo'Self --- October 13th. From an episode of Parks and Rec where Tom and Donna have a day to pamper themselves.

November:

November 5th --- Multiple holidays. It's Guy Fawkes Day (a holiday in Great Britain where effigies are lit to celebrate the failure of a traitor), and some people post screencaps of the movie V for Vendetta, where it's mentioned. November 5th, 2020 specifically had three huge news items: rumors of Vladimir Putin's resignation, Destiel (a ship from Supernatural) becoming (one-sided) canon, and the controversy over counting electoral votes in the U.S. election.

Life Day --- November 17. The equivalent of Christmas in Star Wars.

December:

Christmas Adam --- December 23rd. It comes from a Tumblr post making a pun on "eve" and "Eve" (from the Bible). As the original Tumblr post describes, it "comes before Christmas Eve and is generally unsatisfying".

Almost Christmas (Means It Wasn't Christmas) --- 11:59 P.M. on December 24th. This is from Ace Attorney, a video game where you're a defense lawyer. The fact that it's not quite Christmas is a crucial piece of evidence in one of the cases.

DL-6 --- Christmas/late December. This is when one of the most famous cases from Ace Attorney (mentioned above) occurs.

Other:

Annoy Squidward Day --- either January or February 15th. This refers to an episode of Spongebob where Mr. Krabs votes for Employee of the Month; a screen cap shows Spongebob pointing to the 15th day on the calendar with a sticker of Squidward on it.

Fuck this Post and Happy Birthday [Fictional Character] --- any character's birthday. The original Tumblr post starts out with a user saying "People who celebrate fictional character birthdays are annoying, pass it on", and another retorts with "FUCK this post and happy birthday, Sonic". "Sonic" can be replaced with a character of your choice.

[chungledown-bimothy]

my dad (who i haven't spoken to in almost 2 months) just sent me a text wishing me a happy pi day and asking if it was still a thing.

now i'm sleep deprived and fucked up by graphic violent nightmares, so without even thinking about it, i replied "my circles are more into celebrating the ides of march being tomorrow, but pi day will always be a thing to me" and attached the pi-thon picture i just reblogged.

normally, that's not that weird, but this man had a nokia brick phone until 2012 and really only uses the not-phone features of his phone now to check sports scores and the weather. the least online person i've ever met, and whimsy is not one of his strengths.

so from his perspective: he reaches out to me, probably expecting our usual pleasantries and not much more, but instead gets a stupid joke and the knowledge that in this the year of our lord 2024 people celebrate the assassination of julius caesar.

[f1-giuki]

okay so I might be a month late, but here's the 15 question thingy!!!! thank you @unasked-diaries @albonoooo @blueballsracing 💖💖

Are you named after anyone? Yes! After Julius Caesar! bi icons.

When was the last you cried? On Wednesday because my Bluetooth speaker fucked up my Spotify queue and my shower playlist got messed up.

What sports do you play/have you played? Tennis! I played pro for 4 months and then I left the sport💀 got back into it this year!

Do you have kids? Nope!

Do you use sarcasm? I tell gay jokes bc I am the gay joke.

What is the first thing you notice about people? Their face and if they're polite or not.

What is your eye color? Green!

Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings, I am weak and frail and a sucker for happy things.

Any talents? Anxiety? idk.

What are your hobbies? Writing, knitting, playing stardew valley, playing tennis! I'd love to kart but I can't do it as often as I'd like to.

Where were you born? Italy!

Do you have any pets? Nope.

How tall are you? 161cm.

Favorite subject at school? Italian literature, English and Latin literature. Now in uni it's public law and law history.

Dream job? Writer! Or football manager!

tagging @saviour-of-lord @moodymoony71 @linewire @jussst-lurking @souvenir116 @love-mariiii @presdestigatto if you want loves!!

[literary-nose]

some thoughts on ‘if we were villains’.

before i begin, i warn you that this is not going to be a short post.

so, after two months, i finally finished “if we were villains”. for me, two months is a long time, despite the book having something of 400 pages. usually, i am able to get through a hundred of pages within a single evening, but that was not the case with this one. i would constantly read a maximum of 50 pages at best, only to close it shut and deciding to continue it on a different day.

the main reason behind this was truly none other than the magnificence of the descriptions of feelings in it. multiple times did i find myself unable to continue reading, sometimes even forced to take breaks worth days, because, while reading, i could nearly experience all the characters’ emotions myself, and sometimes the characters even expressed my own thoughts about the circumstances they were in.

leaving the general speech behind and moving on to more specific details, i cannot leave out the fact that, observing the dynamic between meredith and oliver, i could not help but feel uncomfortable - especially in the beginning, on the night of richard’s death and soon after it. never did i once experience such discomfort when any other couple was described - alexander and colin? marvellous. james and wren? excellent. james and oliver? stupefying, hell, not even meredith and richard made me feel like this (up until things started to get the way they got, of course), and i have yet to find a reasonable justification for this, except maybe for the fact that i, too, similarly to james, perceived the initiation, the start of all of this as “revenge-fucking”. i doubt my asexual identity is in any way linked to this, because i am mostly sex-indifferent. i have resorted to attributing this to the fact that, as we learn in the end, oliver had been and still is in love with james, while his situation with meredith, to me, really seemed like a typical case of being unable to tell the difference between romantic and aesthetic attraction.

what puzzled me further was the complete lack of participation in the story from wren’s side, and my confusion is only being reinforced by the fact that she is richard’s cousin. we barely get to see her at all, and every time we do, her participation is minimal. this i can attribute to her nature and her typecast as the ingénue, since typecasting clearly affects the characters quite considerably, but, even so, in my opinion, she deserved more than what she got.

now, regarding james’ motive in richard’s death - something i am most eager to talk about. as stated in the book, james did not have any intention to kill richard - in fact, he was ready to drag him out of the water, upon discovering that he was alive. and yet, something does not sit right. throughout the entire book, the idea that an actor’s thought process and feelings can easily get intertwined with those of the character they are portraying is commonly promoted, explicitly stated by both oliver and richard - in one of the prologues and during gwendolyn’s class respectively. 

taking that into consideration and putting it aside for the time being, i remind that on the night of richard’s death it had been “caesar” that the seven were performing, with james having the role of brutus, and richard, inevitably, being caesar himself. in shakespeare’s play, the death of julius caesar is mainly attributed to the mastermind of the conspiracy, caius cassius, who wants caesar dead due to his own envy. knowing that “brutus is an honourable man”, cassius manipulates him by calling out to his sense of honour and getting him to conspire against caesar as well, allegedly for the benefit of rome, despite the fact that, originally, brutus had no personal conflicts with caesar.

seeing as james is stated and portrayed to have a difficulty snapping out of character - as clearly seen when he confesses his crime to oliver by speaking in verse exclusively - i pose this question; why is it not possible that on the night of richard’s death, having followed him into the forest, he found his own thoughts intermingled with his role’s to such an extent, where he consciously decided that the death of caesar (richard) would be for the benefit of rome (the six of them, mainly, but also anyone else)? essentially, what could have happened is that he, blinded by the thoughts of brutus and not his own, intentionally killed richard, believing it to be in everyone’s best interests.

of course, this did not happen, and, in my own view, because such a key (justification of james’ actions) would not open the door to the ending we eventually got; under no circumstances would oliver have forgiven james this easily, let alone taken all the blame upon him, if the death of richard was a result of “brutus” getting too caught up in his character. on the contrary, james acting out of pure terror justifies his actions in oliver’s eyes, especially seeing as “and who would keep him from drowning me this time?”. thus, we reach the ending that we currently have.

obviously, i am not claiming that my view of this is correct; it is but a mere speculation, one of the countless thoughts i had while reading. and, most of all, i am entirely not unsatisfied with the fact that i was wrong, and that richard’s murder was not intentional. to be entirely truthful, the justification given to james’ actions by me would most likely lead to a far more tragic and saddening end, and, honestly? i am glad m.l.rio’s explanation differs from mine this much. i don’t think i would have handled it if my theory had proven to be true, lol.

lastly, the decision of the author to end the book in the way she did. personally, i have never been an avid fan of open endings; i prefer it when authors give their pieces a definite ending, one that the audience has to get over and learn to live with. as, however, every rule bears an exception to itself, this time, i was rather relieved to receive an open ending, an opportunity to believe or denounce the survival of james.

and, myself? i believe james to be alive. in fact, this specific aspect i find myself to share with james; he uses the words of characters to speak the truth about himself, concealing it, so to say, behind the masks of roles in such a way that, if one does not seek a hidden meaning behind a verse seemingly spoken out of the blue, they are bound never to find it. as such, under no circumstances would he have otherwise chosen that specific speech of pericles, which had been pronounced, as remarked by oliver, before what would have been his death, “if he had not asked for help”.

with that, i conclude my train of thought. when starting this book, having read a maximum of forty pages, i had a clear outline of what i believed was going to unfold, and, though i was right about certain aspects (i.e. richard’s death i had predicted from act I, and james’ involvement in it - instantly upon seeing his reaction to richard choking on his blood in the water.), other ones i could never have foreseen, and that makes me more than happy. though this was a fantastic experience, i do confess that i cannot envision myself re-reading this book - at least not anytime soon. it’s true that, perhaps, now knowing the story, i may not be affected by it to such an extent, but i think, if only for the time being, i would rather keep it on my shelf, maybe occasionally quoting it, as i find myself doing with most of the media i indulge in.

also, alexander vass i declare top tier gender. the amount gender envy this man was giving me while i was reading is entirely ludicrous.

a playlist based on the book, in case anyone is interested.

[giantkillerjack]

Achievement unlocked! Remember your childhood hyperfixation on the Caesar family? No? Well that's alright because it remembers you, and NOW THE BEAST IS ONCE AGAIN AWAKE. IT DEMANDS SUSTENANCE. A THOUSAND YOUTUBE VIDEOS AND PRESTIGE DRAMAS. YOU NEED ALL THE HOTTEST GOSS FROM 2000 YEARS AGO. WHY IS JULIUS CAESAR AN EVIL DILF? WHY IS AUGUSTUS CAESAR THE MICHAEL CORLEONE OF THE MEDITERRANEAN?? HOW DID ONE FATHER-SON DUO WRECK EVERYONE'S SHIT SO HARD THAT 1/6 OF OUR MONTHS ARE STILL NAMED AFTER THEM???

I NEED TO KNOW.

[sanityshorror]

This might seem kinda dumb but what are some of the wholesome things Julius and Killian do when they're alone(thats not like... s e x.)?

One of their favorite things to do - ever since Julius was 12 and Killian was 14, would be too cuddle up in bed in Julius's room (with the door locked), and Killian reads stories about ancient Rome and Caesar to Julius. As they got older, the cuddles became more and more intimate, and Killian also, having taught himself to fluently speak Latin, would read stories of Ancient Rome to Julius in Latin. It always has, even to this day, helped Julius relax and even fall asleep at times.

Killian brings home fresh, pink roses for Julius, every night without failure. Pink roses have a very special place in Julius's heart - and he's cheered up by simply looking at them.

Killian won't admit it, but he and Julius take long bubble baths together every night lol.

Neither of them are capable of keeping their hands off each other. 

Killian loves showing Julius off, and Julius loves being shown off by Killian.

Julius is so fucking spoiled by his husband (yes, him and Killian are actually canonically married). 

Though Julius is much more prone to break downs, on the rare occasion Killian does have one…it is so bad that I honestly can't think of words to describe of off the deep end he goes and how he completely falls apart. Julius never fails to be there for him, picking up the pieces and helping patch Killian up (emotionally and literally given Killian actually has a pretty severe problem with self harm). It's certainly a side of Julius that ONLY Killian has ever and will ever see.

They love to honestly just cuddle and watch movies. 

They take care of each other.

Neither handles separation well at all. Therefore, they're always together. If others are around, Julius is guaranteed to have his hair in his to cover his smile and blush…until he forgets there's other people there cuz well, the man takes one glance at Killian and pounces on him😭

They honestly do so much fluffy things, I could keep going for.. Days…months…years.

[magnus-sm-writes]

10k Update

I’ve decided I’m going to do a revamp of my writing updates for every 10,000 words I write. It’s a pretty good way to keep up with everything I write that doesn’t make it in the monthly update by virtue of it just being too damn long ago.

It’s pretty early in the month for me to have already reached 10,000 words, but I’ll admit I’ve been a bit of a powerhouse lately with my writing. Maybe it’s because I haven’t slept much? I always seem to be more creative when I’m a little loopy. My brand of creativity seems to thrive when I’m just slightly off-balance.

Regardless, I’m thrilled to say that I’ve written some pretty decent work so far. 

The first thing I wrote for was for Silver Storm, a novel that features Hiprax, the son of a silver dragon. It takes place in my Dragonworld, a world that is literally made of a sleeping dragon. Undoubtedly my coolest worldbuilding ever, and perhaps even my magnum opus when it comes to worldbuilding.

(I hope not, but as of now, it is.)

My husband adores this most of anything I’ve ever written for Silver Storm. This was wonderful for my ego; he’s pretty tough on books. Especially my fantasy books, because that is the main genre he reads. For him to shower this snippet with compliments… it does things to a man’s confidence.

I did work on part of this last month. Obviously inspired by Baldur’s Gate 3, I went a little further into Hiprax’s experience adapting to dracon culture after he loses his mother, Vrynnd. Having been raised as a sitaav elve (this world’s equivalent of a frost elf), he’s disconnected from the draconic origin of his life. So much so that he doesn’t know his father is a dragon at all and just believes him to be a dracon, the offspring of dragons.

That’s a lot of worldbuilding to contextualize an excerpt, but again, I’m nothing if not wordy.

Hiprax does not believe himself to show many draconic traits. There are, of course, the obvious: he loves shiny things, he loves great heights, he loves the wind against his scales. He wouldn’t count himself as having the same type of pride that other dracons do. 

Then, I decided I would fully commit to editing my Q1 Short Stories™ and began my edit of “The Boy & The Hag Stone”. Since I’ve already edited “Plastic Fangs”, and because I spoke about “Hag Stone” more recently, I chose it to edit instead of my beloved vampires. 

Banshee is a very special character to me. In the words of Laszlo Cravensworth:

“He’s my best friend, he’s my pal, he’s my homeboy, my rotten soldier, my sweet cheese, my good time boy.”

Which is, of course, how I feel about all of my Weirdo Characters™, but especially Banshee. I gave Banshee some parts of myself: his wild, dark hair, his uncanny stare, his hatred of shoes. (I really fucking hate shoes.) To Rishi, I gave my love of run-on sentences and cup noodles. 

Here’s my favorite tiny excerpt from his edit!

Banshee was a ghost, a lost soul, a feral child all grown up. He never left footprints; instead, asphodels grew wherever he walked. Every time he predicted rain, there was, and every time he predicted clear skies, there were.

I got very obsessed with Brutus (of Julius Caesar fame) for a brief period of time. So obsessed I wrote a poem and half of a short story about him. My Brutus obsession has resulted in poem before, but very rarely do I allow a poem to germinate into a short story.

This short story was pretty unique. I did it in the style of “The Cannon” by Kelly Link: a Q&A. My husband liked it only because of the “interesting form” and not so much for the content, because he is “not interested in that sort of thing” (i.e., writing about Roman politicians doing an interview in maybe-Purgatory.) I’ll give him points, though; the style is pretty unconventional.

Q: Did it hurt?

A: Does pulling a tooth hurt? Does drinking poison hurt? Of course it did. It hurt as though I was stabbing myself. His blood looked exactly like mine. 

It’s not finished yet, but I think it’s more of a way to adventure into different forms than a way to tell an actual story. There’s some slappage there, though.

Then I worked on some blog posts, including a WIP intro and some character intros for Double-Trickery! This is one of my favorite books to write for. Penny and Mavuto’s dynamic is something pretty unique in my work. Every couple I write is some level of codependent, but learning necromancy just because you think your best friend (or the “love of your life”) is dead? Damn, that’s conviction.

That’s the wrap-up for now! In all, I’m quite pleased with all I’ve done as of late. It’s only been six days, and I’m already in the double digits when it comes to word count. Hell yeah!

Tag list: @jacqueswriteblrlibrary

[ragtimebanshee]

@wheatbeats tagged me in a "List 5 Songs You're Really Into Right Now" thing and I took a few days to think about it so here you goooooo! (No order, just vibes)

Lady Jesus by UPSAHL. A solid bop, subversive and victorious. Very pleasant to live into, especially in these trying times (barn closing oop)

What A Catch, Donnie by Fall Out Boy. The sorrow? The simple chords of my childhood?? The references to SO maNY OTHER SONGS???? Fucking dying. If I were a young man, I would wear shirtsleeves and a vest and play it at twilight under the lilacs. Fuck.

DO YOU DOUBT ME TRAITOR by Lingua Ignota. Baru cormorant x Han Mi's Lament. Julius Caesar vibes. A curse be upon the head of N--- and J---, my bosses. I sing every word to them from the bottom of my heart and I hope they rot ✨

More Than A Friend by Girli. I saw her live a few months ago. She's magnificent. The power and longing in this song, the way you can scream it. The aching.

Hush by Kroh and Mizz fish. The joyful, delicate capering. It's FUN. It's all the vibes of my old d&d party. Also "chaos is a good, there's grace in the irony" is such a GOOD line, my soul kinda just glommed onto that one.

Honorable mention to Weed La Weed, because I've been looping it all week

I'd like to tag @a-corndog-named-schibbs, @pencildragon11, @wizardysseus, and @esinofsardis. No pressure ofc but I like all y'all, so, hey

[goosemixtapes]

max’s top books of 2022 :3

past top tens here & here! as always, these rankings are based on some nebulous alchemical combination of “it’s objectively good” and “i like it a lot.”

weird reading year! lots of mediocre books! lots of rereads! lots of things i felt very mid about! but i did finish the shakespearean canon, so, fuck yeah! more details beneath the cut.

in place of runner-ups this year, i’m pioneering a brand new category called BOOKS I LOATHED. those being: Mourning Becomes Electra by Eugene O’Neill (why would you write a retelling of something as cool as the oresteia and make it stilted, misogynist, and incestuous); Dracula (holy fucking shit is this book boring. i did enjoy dracula daily, though); this fucking Dan Brown book i couldn’t even finish which is rare for a guy with completionism OCD; and, of course, my least favorite book of this year & one of my least favorites ever, Robinson Crusoe (i can’t summarize my thoughts in parentheses. click my review)

my top anticipated 2023 release is alecto the ninth. no notes.

okay, the list, in order of increasing enjoyment:

10. The Ides by Stephen Dando-Collins

roman history hyperfixation went fucking insane this year, gang. roman history hyperfixation went fucking one thousand. i haven’t read every book about the late republic (not even close to it), so i can’t speak to how this measures up in the field, but if you’re interested in the assassination of julius caesar, you should check this shit out. i particularly appreciated the amount of direct quotes from historical figures included, because that 1) made it easier to read 2) made the historical figures it concerned feel closer. this book flows like a thriller until the actual ides; the discussion of the aftermath is a little less gripping, but so goes history.

9. What We Don’t Talk About When We Talk About Fat by Aubrey Gordon

this is the first of its kind i’ve ever read--a book centered around the oppression fat people face, focused on 1) breaking down fatphobic factual misconceptions (like the idea that diets are a cure-all or even that diets are all that effective) and 2) examining the effect that fatphobia has on individuals and society. beautifully well-researched; beautifully written. wish i could beam this entire book into the head of everyone around me. (gordon has a new release coming out in 2023!)

8. Sorry I’m Late, I Didn’t Want to Come: One Introvert’s Year of Saying Yes by Jessica Pan

this is not a self-help book, but i read it like one. it is not, either, despite what the title may suggest, some trite thinkpiece about introversion being So Cool And Quirky Special!, or about introversion being A Curse On The Bloodline That Must Be Cured. it’s more autobiographical than that: it’s the author’s story of a year in which she tried to exposure-therapy herself into being more outgoing, friendly, and honest, and not only is it very well-written, it’s also just really fun to read! have you ever wanted to experience improv vicariously without actually having to do improv? this is the book for that.

7. Aeschylus’s Oresteia

greek tragedy doesn’t do it for me like shakespearean tragedy, but hooooooly shit. holy shit. i had the pleasure of studying these plays in a class and they made my head spin inside out. the IMAGERY! the VIOLENCE! the TOXIC FAMILY DYNAMICS! the RAGE! the GRIEF! the VENGEANCE! the MILF! the oresteia has it fucking all! if i pop up with a lesbian orestes book in five months, look away. (goosemixtapes, inc would like to note that there is no lesbian orestes book in progress.)

6. The Coldest Girl in Coldtown by Holly Black

AKA the only vampire media that exists. in which vampirism is a contagious disease, and vampires are sectioned off in government-run quarantine “coldtowns,” where some of them kill people and some of them become instagram influencers. (not literally, but they might as well; this book is almost metacommentary on the allure of the romantic-gorgeous-sparkly-pop-culture vampire). every character is beautifully well-drawn, especially for a YA standalone; i even found myself rooting for the heterosexual romance! also, there’s a trans girl, and she doesn’t even die! this was a recommendation from my dearest @yvesdot​, and it has crack in it. it has crack cocaine in it

5. Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia by Marya Hornbacher

apparently i’m on a nonfiction sweep. (to be fair, “read more nonfiction” was one of my reading goals this year.) this is what it sounds like--a candid and shockingly clear-eyed memoir chronicling the author’s fourteen-year struggle with eating disorders--and also more than that--an incisive exploration of both hornbacher and the family and society that shaped her, with some of the rawest and most evocative prose i’ve read in a long time. not recommended for the faint of heart or people with triggers around disordered eating (or, at least, i recommend you step very carefully), but wow, i’m going to be thinking about this one forever.

4. Cassandra by Christa Wolf & Lavinia by Ursula K. Le Guin

okay, this one is a double feature. which i recognize is weird, because these are different books by different authors published in different years, but on a metatextual level, these books are holding hands. these books are lesbian kissing, even. both of them take a character from classical epic/theater--cassandra the prophet from troy; lavinia from the latter half of the aeneid--and tells the story through her eyes, in a very deliciously metatextual way. wolf’s novel (more of a monologue), written in east germany under the looming threat of nuclear war in europe, is rife with themes about war and destruction and the rise and fall of cultures. le guin’s novel is more interested in narratives, fate, and fictionality, but war themes are again at play, because it’s the aeneid. also, both of these authors truly understand aeneas from the aeneid and i don’t say that fucking lightly. books written for a target audience of me

3. Roman Shakespeare: Warriors, Wounds and Women by Coppélia Kahn

okay i don’t even have anything to say for myself here. i’m thinking about victor @asimpleram​ saying my yearly top 10 list is just an english class assigned reading list. but as one of the few people in the world who is derangedly interested in how gender is constructed in antony and fucking cleopatra (and also julius caesar. and shakespeare in general. but i got really into FUCKING antony and cleopatra this year), i could annotate this book for ages. i filled a google doc with so many screenshots from this book that it negatively affected my drive storage situation. shakespeare fans eat fucking good

2. Saga by Brian K. Vaughan

i’m not particularly into outer-space scifi, so i wasn’t expecting to like saga, but i started it, again, at the behest of @yvesdot​ (as i was in their house and they were handing it to me). and then it proceeded to do horrible horrible things to me to the point where i haven’t picked up the new issue because i’m still recovering from the way volume 9 got my ass*. this comic is a fucking masterclass in 1. creating compelling characters in a reduced amount of space and 2. maintaining constant narrative tension while also sprinkling in just enough happy/hopeful moments that the devastating plot beats hurt all the more. also, the character concepts go crazy hard and it’s anti-war as fuck. also, again, trans woman who doesn’t even die! cw for lots of, um, explicitly drawn sexual content (sooo many dicks in this comic oh my god) but if you are ready to have your heart broken you need to pick this up.

*i am physically fucking incapable of attaching myself to characters who survive things. just fyi

1. the Locked Tomb series by Tamsyn Muir

and speaking of having your heart broken. i dearly dearly hope nobody is surprised by this one. lumping all three of these into one category because i don’t want to pick a favorite (it’s GTN), and because i have the same thing to say about all three of them: READ THESE BOOKS. i knew before i turned the last page that Gideon the Ninth was going to be my book of the year; it’s been a long, long, LONG fucking time since i’ve wished so badly i had written this exact book myself. do you like BUTCHES? do you like NECROMANCY? do you like CATHOLIC AESTHETIC THAT ALSO CRITICIZES CATHOLIC IMPERIALISM? do you like DYNAMICS WITH THE COMPLEX TOXICITY LEVELS OF NUCLEAR POWER PLANTS? do you like SEXY WORLDBUILDING? do you like expertly-crafted ENSEMBLE CASTS? do you like STORIES THAT ARE WELL-WRITTEN? do you like WORDS? man, you’ve gotta try TLT. yes, i know that the worldbuilding is sometimes abstruse; i know that everyone spends 90% of the first read in absolute confusion; i know that muir’s sense of humor isn’t universal. but i also know these are some of the best books i’ve ever read, and some of my favorites of all time. absolutely world-changing.

if you’ve read this far--you’re very brave! please tell me your favorite (and least favorite) books of the year! drop recs if you have them! and have a happy new year!