#fuck the tv witcher

[notthiscoolkid]

"Gonna go home and show my cat some memes

'Cause he's awesome like me

Like me"

"Gonna go home and dress my cat up like Batman

'Cause he's awesome like me"The amazing devil- drinking song for socially anxious

That was playing in my head when this scene appears

[teatitty]

Geralt isn't possessive as a rule but I do think if somebody called Dandelion their bard - even if it was a friendly joke - he'd get into a right mood and snit about it and be scowling and short-tempered and sulky for AAAAAAGES because he's gotten so used to people calling Dandy "the witcher's bard" etc so he's like. That's MY emotional support bard bestie actually who the fuck are YOU to be saying this go a-way

[thelostgirl21]

Okay, I've just gotta say though...

Imagine that you think you've fallen in love with some evil mastermind that only ever pretended to love you to gain power for himself!

Then, shortly after, you hear some sniffling coming from the corner of a room while searching for your family, and randomly find said "evil mastermind" looking like this:

Radovid's main casting requirement: being able to look so small, vulnerable, soft, lost, and hurt, that it'll have some members of the audience yelling "Jaskier, you better fix this right now, you big meanie! Or I'll never forgive you!" at their screen!

Basically,

Me, before season 3: "I don't think I'll ever be able to feel as protective of any character in any TV show ever as I do of Jaskier."

Radovid: "Hold my wine bottle, I've got this!"

Me, after season 3: "I now have this strange urge to throttle that bard if he ever hurts that one again... What the fuck is going on?"

[stromuprisahat]

book!Triss: *makes the witchers consider Ciri's menstrual needs and developing body, since they've only dealt with teenage boys before* show!Ciri after Triss' intervention: I can be 🪄badass🪄 AND ✨pretty✨! me: It wasn't about beauty and femininity you sexist pigs! It's amazing how these "progressive" writers manage to turn relatively well handled overlooked topic into a matter of women's presentation to male gaze and standards of attractiveness...

[koipalm]

the halo tv show is pissing me off so badly.... to take SUCH a dearly beloved show not only in the gaming world but also just in popular media and milk it for fucking views actually makes me like sick to my stomach. and after seeing what the video games industry is doing right now with how projects are cancelled and all the hard work and amazing artistry in them is never seen again i want to fucking hit someone!! and the fucking layoffs going on in the video game industry is insane. projects are shelved forever and devs are kicked to the curb. not only that, but the fucking ubisoft exec that said people should get used to not owning games?? combined the amount of movies coming out that are purely reboots of older media.... and i cant remember who it was but there was someone in the cartoon industry that pitched like 14 fucking things and they all got shot down! fuck! why cant we fucking care about art! why cant execs fucking understand that we WANT people that care about the projects, and we dont fucking want old ideas revamped when the people in charge clearly dont give a shit about the source material! fuck!

[catshinji]

kitkit really likes geralt!

[rapha-reads]

Two thirds into the last episode of Shadow and Bone season 2 and I have one and only one question :

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

Seriously, no. What the fuck is happening?????????????

Why are they pulling a Lauren Hirsch NOW after 6 solid episodes????

Episodes 1 to 6 made sense. They were good, coherent, fun and still true enough to Canon to be enjoyable.

Episoded 7 and 8 just threw out the entire saintsforsaken script out of the window and decided to go full AU, with some elements kept, some elements completely discarded and others moved around to early or to late in the timeline.

And I don't like it. It changes too much. It's not enjoyable anymore, not in the sense that the episode isn't entertaining to watch (I'm finally getting some Matthias screentime), but in the sense that it closes too many doors to tell future stories. It doesn't make sense, both inside the canon story, and inside the two-degrees-to-the-left alternate version thry had started to tell. The same way Lauren Hirsch fucked up The Witcher by completely changing the characters' personal timelines and the events of the story, the SaB team ft Bardugo also changed too much.

Yeah, if they had actually stopped season 2 at episode 6, and then kept following the events of the Ruin and Rising book with some prequel Six of Crows stuff, and made them into a 3rd season, it would have made more sense. And then give us the Six of Crows spin-off standalone show. (I demand an actual 6oC show, that actually follows the books, thanks)

Again, this is just my (and apparently the others too) opinion as a book-reader. I do wonder if none bookreaders who went into the show without knowing anything feel about season 2? Are you guys liking it, is it objectively good when one stops trying to reunite show with book?

Also they need to stop pushing Nikolai/Alina and Inej/Tolya, especially that second one, DO NOT BREAK KANEJ OR I WILL BURN YOU DOWN. And freaking give us Zoyalai ya cowards.

Okaaaaaay, as I was composing my review, I reached the end, and... the end of the episode makes as much bloody (see what I did there) sense as the beginning, that is to say: NONE.

STOP TRYING TO RUSH THE PLOT. The advantage of TV show is that you can take the time to establish your characters and your timeline of events. Stop. Trying. To. Make. Everything. Happen. At. The. Same. Time. Show is not movie!!!!! I'm getting upset now. Ugh. What a letdown. And it had started well.

[jonsnowisthesexiestbastard]

Still can’t wrap my head around the fact that Liam Hemsworth being the new Witcher isn’t an April fools.

Who made that decision ???

[vulpinesaint]

i am such a wiki boy. every five minutes writing fanfic i am referencing something on a wiki. your one stop shop for information that would be slightly more difficult to find otherwise :)

[notthiscoolkid]

I cant get over this gay men

[muffinlance]

The Witcher but it takes Geralt five novels and two video game adaptations to open his damn takeout bag (he misplaced it in book two)

*cradling bag of take-out to my chest like a newborn princeling being whisked to safety out of the grasp of the Mad Usurper's army* i'll protect you my liege

[fruitlicense]

I just finished season 3 of The Witcher and if someone hasn’t already made a rebloggable gif or video of that moment from the first episode where Ciri damn near jumps onto Geralt’s shoulders while he’s hauling back like. a dead boar or some shit then I’m gonna be really sad. I’m watching this shit late, you’ve had time

[stromuprisahat]

It never even occured to me I'll have to filter a ship containing Jaskier and Radovid. That they'll have a ship name I'll have to type with my own two thumbs. That they'll be shipped by larger number of people in completely serious non-crackish way, but here we are, I guess...

[natalieironside]

One time we was doing the Medieval faire a little bit after the Witcher tv show got started and everybody brought a bunch of like plastic pirate coins and hanukkah gelt and shit like that cause we assumed a bunch of patrons would be dressed up as witchers but there were like . . . 2 of them. A buddy of mine tried to throw one of em a coin and he was like "That better not be another fucking coin"

[stromuprisahat]

Vespula is fucking gorgeous btw can we all agree on that

[loki-zen]

he’ll Rhind your Tutt