#fuck she doesn't even need to die just exile her for good

[rjalker]

someone who's not me please write a Tarzan book where La dies so something actually interesting gets to happen with Opar, please. ERB's clearly not gonna do it because he's a fucking coward.

[typewriter83]

https://www.tumblr.com/typewriter83/765179812572758016/girl-i-was-rewatxhing-a-gameplay-tonight-and-i-had?source=share

(this is so big I won't mind if you take too damn long to respond❤️ I understand you)

KDJDKSKKD WHAT? THAT'S SUCH A GOOD FUCKING PLOT OMG. I WOULD READ THAT EVEN WITH ORIGINAL CHARACTERS.

(but fuck yeah I agree, ellie would be such a good punk singer. Kind of emo girlie even. Have you checked maggie linderman? Her song"different" would kind of be something ellie would totally sing if she was a singer).

and omg I can see the vibes of the concept you're cooking in here. I can totally see both of them as "singers that got bad reputation for something" (🗣️I don't know what ellie did but I'm on her side🗣️), specially joel. On this, I can totally imagine that things to joel could have started to get bad in his life after he lost sarah in this universe too. And honestly sometimes paparazzi and interviewers can be so insensitive that it would be so joel to get his bad reputation also after fighting with so many of these people in the past if they asked about his past. Also, I would die to find what would their dynamic would be as singers if that story happened. Maybe when they start working together, their personalities can crush a bit because joel he was always used to being the lead singer in his band, giving orders and deciding things, but when he tries that with ellie thinking she would just listen, he soon finds out she has strong personality, doesn't really like to obbey and has a sense of criticism and leadership as much as him. Or maybe Joel has this boomer thought where he thinks this new generation of musicians are all amateurs and not good enough, and ellie is determined to make him realize he's wrong. But I can also see their personalities bonding so much when they really start to work on their album.

Omg have you listened to "exile" by taylor swift and Bon Iver? That would be so them coded wtf, I could totally picture them singing it wtfffffff (and bon iver's voice is so sexy and deep it reminds me of joel's👹)

So many things is reminding me of this concept you came up with actually. On the slutty side for example, there's this the weeknd song where he sings "we had sex on the studio" and well..👹that would be a scene worth reading sjjsjsj. On the soft side, there was this video on ig where a girl from a band was playing guitar and singing but her guitar's strap fell and she had to hold it, but her drummer came to rescue, fixed for her and he stroked her hair before going back and everyone in the audience was like "awww" and I WISH I COULD FIND THIS VIDEO AGAIN because that would be so them. Imagine if joel did this on a tour, but instead of stroking her hair he kisses her forehead😭 imagine if they also sing some songs looking at eachother like they're talking in form of music, like it's just them on the stage, OR OR if ellie convinces joel to be more in touch with being online, and his first few posts on social media is hanging out with her or posting a picture of her being distracted, and ellie gets all soft because how can she explain to this old man he's basically being her fan account😭? And oh my god Joel is a guardog in every fic, imagine if a paparazzi crosses some boundery with ellie and joel does something about it, but she contains him from doing more because he could get in trouble with media for it. Urgh I can totally see the controversy they would be, though. A lot of people would ship them but it could also get a bad reputation for joel for other reasons.

Hello nonnie cub - is this Miss Undercover or do we have another cub in our den who loves analyzing our fandom. Either way, I’m here for it!

First of all, thank you. I’m rather fond of that story - it’s about 35-40k in length right now. I have lots of ideas for it, but pulling it together has proven difficult when there are two stubborn fictional characters constantly screaming for attention - they know who they are and they need to sit down. 😏

If I were to write this in the TLOU universe, Joel would be on the far side of middle age, approaching or over 50, with a drinking problem, but trying to get sober. He’s been known to get aggressive with paparazzi. Ellie would be a punk rock princess with a serious attitude problem - the label won’t drop her because she’s so fucking talented, writes her own music, has been plucking guitars since she was a child - but she goes through producers like tissues and she’s had more lawsuits filed against her for assaulting paparazzi than the studio cares to acknowledge.

Their dynamic would be volatile at first - he can’t stand her music, thinks she’s too loud and chaotic. He’s more laidback, classic rock style, and Ellie calls him an old man - while she follows him around like a lost puppy. He’s gruff and mean, but he gives it to her straight, he doesn’t push her away like everyone else does - she sticks like glue.

I think Ellie would torment him with social media - especially old school instagram, trying to make photos artistic and flattering. She takes lots of photos of him hidden in shadows, dramatic and striking and he grumbles a lot but doesn’t ask for her to take them down. She starts taking selfies of them together - which of course ignites all sorts of speculation and paparazzi problems. Imagine Joel pushing them aside while they get in Ellie’s face. Ellie’s got fists swinging and eventually Joel grabs her and pops her feisty ass over his shoulder - lots of photos of her screaming as he carries her off.

Haha, stop. I have 3 stories going at once. I don’t know if or when I’ll ever sit down and revisit this original story. But this was fun

🫶🏻

[pochapal]

I shall tempt fate!

Thoughts on the thirteenth doctor?

I didn’t like the era much but 13 is awesome imo ^^

[approximately 1 trillion turrets taking aim] okay SO the thing with 13 is that everyone who watched her and hated her was a needless redditbrained loser who didn't understand a thing. yes she was kind of mid in the end BUT not for a single reason any of her detractors like to espouse.

she was on track for a very good slow burn tragic arc of over-correcting twelve's flaws (he got too attached and this burned him over and over and over again) where in her attempts to protect her companions from the same doomed fate as every previous human to enter the tardis she ends up not showing how she really feels at all until it's too late for it to count because whether or not she's attached or distant all humans die in the end and to travel with the doctor is to in part indulge in a death drive because by nature of being a companion it means eventually you are going to collide face first with tragedy. all the pieces for this are there very much in her first two seasons and this reading even explains why the finales were kind of lacking oomph (her distancing in attachment also extended to Being The Doctor on some level; this could have compounded with all the latent Gender stuff real nicely but didn't) since it was kind of all building to one core tragic break.

this likely would have happened in her third season but then covid kind of destroyed production and obviously every ambition/plan had to be downscaled into flux which was like. fine??? nothing really bad to say about it other than it feels a touch truncated but that was mostly due to pandemic filming restrictions than anything else (and will never be as terrible as the parts of the moffat era which suffered extensively as a result of sherlock existing and taking up the lead writers/producers time and effort). only issue with it was that it shifted tone/direction in a way that kept all of 13's era on this same flat note right at the moment when this naturally should have been shifted up a gear for the third act.

unironically in an ideal world we got a full length third season for thirteen and the one thing that needed to happen was yaz dying. like i liked yaz and everything but girlie needed to die so badly in some episode and for her to die thinking that the doctor never actually cared about her, forcing thirteen to realize becoming disattached doesn't prevent tragedy from happening it just deprives her of love. continuing this ideal scenario the next beat that needed to happen was thirteen absolutely fucking snapping as yaz's death serves as the catalyst for all the other billion emotions she's been pointedly Not Feeling in this incarnation - this in turn would allow us to see shades of the rogue doctor or whatever her name was (renegade doctor? fugitive doctor? exile doctor?) and create an interesting interplay between the two. this'd then lead to an "Oh Fuck I Have Really Fucked Up At Being The Doctor Huh" moment where she starts aggressively Being The Doctor (maybe strongarming dan into being a companion semi against his wishes to fill the void?) and maybe fucking with her own history/reputation or w/e which might've fed into the timeless child mystery thing somehow (don't ask me i'm spitballing on half-remembered information). also identity crisis heartbroken thirteen at the end of her life reaching back into herself and re-using ten's face as a kind of "second chance" at all the parts of herself that ten embodied and she didn't (the absolute love for companions and humanity) where the tension is now whether or not fourteen ignores the literal centuries of history separating himself from the last time he wore this face and that feeding into the new rtd era.

even a small number of these things would have made thirteen probably one of the best doctors in the series in all the metrics that really matter but we didn't get that so we have to contend with what we do have and that was mostly just...okay. thirteen for me is like. she was brimming with potential to go down a certain route i would have eaten up but things never quite fell into place. probably a whole bunch of reasons behind the scenes why thirteen's era fell short of total greatness but i still enjoyed good chunks of thirteen more than certain doctors who i can and will name (doctor eleven they could never make me like you) so she has that going for her at least. also can't be fully mad at the writing because i actually have an unjustified soft spot for chibnall (this is my biases talking but the countrycide episode of torchwood top 1 piece of doctor who media and i'm so mad he didn't lean back into the folk horror aesthetic again for the witch trials episode in thirteen's run) and overall thirteen's era was just. it was consistent. i really wish covid hadn't fucked over the final season so the nascent themes in her arc could've come to a more satisfying fruition because i will always be a forever truther thirteen's era was slow-building up to something really good. the haters will never convince me otherwise.

[asexual-doctor]

Season 11

The Time Warrior 🌕🌗🌑🌑🌑

I really really don't like Sontarans, I find them uninteresting and disgusting and they really rub me the wrong way. So any episode that features them, I'm bound not to like. Then, it's in the Middle Ages and I don't really like historical episodes in this period. So it was really hard to watch this episode. Also, is Three being sexist with his remark to Sarah about the fairer sex? Or is he just messing with her? I assume (hope) the second, but I still didn't like it. Then there are some aspects of this episode that I did like, Sarah Jane being a big part of it. She's a feminist, she doesn't need anyone and is even ready to raid a castle to capture the Doctor. You go girl!

Invasion of the Dinosaurs 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕

Fuckety fuck. I'm a big dinosaur nerd so I obviously loved these fellas and they're so ugly, it's magnificent. I love it when Doctor Who is just strings and bits. And the story is very well executed and, again, very political with its tackling of ecofascism and the Doctor's remarks about it. And I absolutely love that Mike gets to be a greyer character who clearly got confused in a moment of weakness following what happened to him in the Green Death. It's really one of the best character development in Classic Who (maybe even New Who). I'm also in love with Sarah, she's very smart but a poor judge of character. The Doctor is as usual very good in this episode and I LOVE his blue jacket! Very good episode!

Death to the Daleks 🌕🌕🌕🌑🌑

The Exxilons are scary with their big empty eyes and corpse-like look, if I'd seen this episode as a child I would have been very creeped out. And they're really the best thing from this episode, them and their city. I liked the last part with the Doctor and his new friend facing the city's riddles to find its brain. I just wished those riddles had been a bit more convincing with a real sense of threat. The Daleks are funny now and they come with a silly little music. I did feel bad for them several times. Sarah Jane is useless here and the humans are annoying deadbeats.

The Monster of Peladon 🌕🌗🌑🌑🌑

Definitely a let down after the Curse of Peladon which I'd liked. It was basically the same episode only longer and I have to admit I lost interest around the fourth part. I did like Sarah teaching feminism to the Queen, and Sarah and the Doctor's relationship being explored a bit more, but that's pretty much it. We also have another case of the Doctor's hypocrisy: he kills several Ice Warriors and it's never even mentioned.

Planet of the Spiders 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌗

Goodbye Three, you leave my little heart in pieces, thank you very much. I hate this episode because Three has to die but I have to admit that it's a very good regeneration episode. I love how it ties up to the Green Death and the recurring fact that the Doctor wanted to go to Metebelis III and that it's what causes him to die in the end. It's his greed for knowledge exacerbated by his exile and the frustration that came with it. And I also liked that Mike gets to be redeemed here and that he's able to take care of himself after what happened. I just wished he'd had sort of a reunion with the Brig, to clear things out between them. The story is great, the spiders are kinda cool. Very good episode.

[hel-phoenyx]

Desire, Nru, Universe and Kal @corneille-but-not-the-author 's characters

She's a weird little lady, that one. All in pink and skin subtly revealed, her tiny stature barely reaching my neck, she's looking at me with the interested eyes of a predator that just found his prey.

I don't like those eyes, but they're giving me a damn good hint on her nature. Usually people take me for the predator. Especially right now, with both magic and anger seeping through every hole in my body.

People that can die never consider me their prey, nor their inferior.

It's a goddess. I can hardly guess her nature nor her motive, but I suppose it will be revealed soon enough.

I squint my eyes, look towards her, take advantage of our height difference to try and assert dominance.

She doesn't even flinch.

"Alright. What the fuck am I doing here? And adding to that, WHERE is "here"."

A smile rips through her lips.

"Do you mind not screaming? I have sensitive ears."

Well talk about a first impression. I roll my eyes, crossing my arms on my chest. I'm not even screaming, godsdamnit, I just have a very strong voice. The kind that beams through battlefields.

"Just fucking answer that question."

She laughs, hand in front of her face, her smile still not disappearing.

"What a filthy mouth you have there, Mairù Claro. Did you ever teach yourself politeness?"

"Abyss nope, and certainly not toward goddesses. Can I have a fucking answer now?"

Her eyes gleam with victory.

"They weren't lying, you are a smart one."

Her arms held behind her, she salutes me with a reverence people reserve for their equals.

"I am Desire of Lazzaro, current Queen of Lazzarian principality. And coincidentally, that's where you are. Happy coincidences, ain't it?"

"Principalities are ruled by queens now?"

"Let's just say I had to.... Reinstate old titles."

Not reassuring. And the fact I don't even know that country is not helping. Is it a part of the Paper continent? I thought we were good with Faloi. And worst of all, her tone when she's telling me that is somehow heavier than it needs to be. What old titles? Fuck is happening here?

Like I'd know. I only just got back from a several year long exile, just in time to witness the most disgustingly bucolic scene my eyes have ever seen. Anger fills my heart at the thought, and I restrain a hiss with all my willpower; sadly, it didn't get past her.

"As for what you're doing here... I think you have some sort of idea. Kal'Dithryon was about to kill you. I couldn't let that happen."

Right. I remember now. I was right in the middle of something important and my asshole of a former boss kinda threw some creationnist spells at me. Apparently he's now keen on starting duels on royal grounds, that's damn interesting. Oh how I wanted so badly to thrust a tentacle or two into his sorry ass. Or bones. Whatever.

But killing the queen's new counselor would have earned me the death penalty for sure, and that is in admittance I'd have won. Kal is far from a newbie in magic, and we play on the same field. A duel would make my victory more uncertain than you'd think.

That still doesn't answer my question.

"And you wanted me alive for what?"

Because I'm not stupid, people and especially gods don't save lives with no hidden intentions. There has to be something.

Desire is still smiling, albeit a bit more... Hungrily.

"You are indeed a smart one. I didn't save you from the goodness of my heart, despite how cute you are..."

I grumble at the use of the word I stopped believing a long time ago but she carries on, unfazed.

"... I just need you for several things. First one is easy, just be a mole for me. Spy on your queen, bring me intel, I don't ask for much, I know you're not the Mandate's favorite person..."

She winks, and I shiver. I'm not used to feel terror, but that little woman is making me feel really uneasy.

"The second thing is more important. When the moment comes, and you will recognize it, I'll need you by my side. Sadly I can't say much, a law of the cosmic kind is stopping me, but I will tell you as much as I can, in due time."

Not sure I'll believe it, but eh, loyalty to a kingdom's never been my forte. And I have a... Certain resentment towards the Mandate. So betrayal is not something unforgivable, if only...

"Sounds like you wanna make me your little pocket dog until then, sweetie. And I'm not keen on being kept on a leash."

"Pleaaaase.... I only give leashes to consenting partners, and I wouldn't dare force one on you."

I smile. Magic crepitates between my teeth, ready to strike.

"Cool. Wouldn't want you to discover what it exactly feels like to have a goddess put down."

"Sweettalker. Don't worry, I will not only give you your life in exchange. What about a little deal?"

Deal? She speaks more of my language. I did not usually receive deals in my life. Either I take what I want, or people take what they want from me. Come to think of it, the last person I made a deal with is Kal.

The expression on her face tells me there are things I'd better leave uncovered, but for now, I decide to dare the devil and keep looking that girl in the eyes.

She's still smiling.

"A deal, huh. Like what?"

"Well I am goddess of Desire. As such, of course I know what is the Desire of your heart..."

"Is that supposed to be a pun? Spare me that, please," I grunt, "and get to the point."

"You're a fun breaker. What if I serve you your beloved on a plate, with the deaths of Kal'Dithryon, and Kage and Nru Frosilæn as a bonus? Would that be of interest?"

Well that's getting to the point. I let myself smile, pushing away the very tempting idea; Deals with that kind of entity are often more binding that they appear to be and I don't want to give myself a reason to fight a goddess yet.

"And how would you do that in a way I can't?"

Again she winks. Abyss, she's creeping me out. My body's not supposed to react like that to anyone. I am not supposed to feel fear. Where did all those years of conditioning go?

"Stealthily for starters. No offense to you but you're not exactly sleek in what you want. And how do you think Asura would react if you killed her wife in such an obvious way?"

Good point.

I always was a fast thinker, but now I don't even take the time to reflect before extending my hand.

"Deal. But you let me take care of Kal. Old resentments."

And I'd rather be the one who ends his life. Letting him die without having my part in it would be... Dissatisfying.

She takes my hand and smiles even wider.

"Deal. I'm sure we'll get along smoothly."

I never less believed a lie.

****

She's squirming on the floor of my laboratory, hands and feet tied, a look of pure hatred and terror on her face. But I ignore her easily enough. I have waited enough to see Nru Frosilaen at my mercy for being afraid now.

Why would I be anyway ? All daughter of Death she is, I am a better fighter than her and she knows it. I won't hesitate to kill her and the split second she would take to try and kill me would be far, far more than enough.

Desire is smiling, towering over Nru with a foot on her back. She doesn't even pay attention to the first daughter of the Frosilaen trying so desperately to escape.

"And there she is, the girl in the flesh ! Or bones, I don't know. Daughters of death have a tendency to become lichs. Have I ever told you about the Collector-"

"I don't want to hear a history lesson, sweetheart, I have things to do."

Desire winks at me.

"And an owl to pluck, of course of course! I wouldn't want to slow you down... But no offense to you, it's hard to believe you're motivated if you keep calling me petnames, Mairù, my dear. I'm gonna start to believe I did everything for naught..."

Really ? Goddesses and their tendency to joke around, really I'd never understand that species.

"Don't take this personally, everyone get petnames. They just get meaner if you're being a bitch and I'm seriously considering it."

"Aw, and here I thought we had something special. But what are you gonna do with the owl ?"

I lower my eyes towards said owl, even if she's currently in her human form, disgustingly human features and damning jet black hair that looks so much like Lina's. But while I adored her hair, that feature on Nru only inspires me with sheer hatred.

How dare you look so much like her and take everything when your sister gave me all ?

I'll make you pay. For taking my place, tossing me aside a time too much, and continuing to look at me with those eyes full of fear even after all those months.

I'm sick of people looking at me like a monster. So if they're not gonna change their minds about me, at least I'll give them the show they'll expect.

"None of your business."

"Thought as much. Too bad, I wanted to see that hatred of her face become fear. That would have been simply delicious."

"Whoa there! I'm a monster, not a torturer. I'll be quick, that's all you need to know."

Nru is still squirming, putting in question my resolution to act quickly. If not painlessly. Well, I didn't intend to give her a painless death anyway. I'm not good at that and certainly don't wanna learn.

"What do you have against Nru anyway ?"

Desire shrugs.

"Nothing in particular, but Death and I have history of some sorts. And, well, I do enjoy thorns in my side being pulled off. A daughter of death is a real danger for my current plans."

"Fair enough. Can you go now so I can get down to business ?"

She smiles again, and for a split second I feel my nerves straighten.

"Of course. Good evisceration, dear."

****

I don't remember anything before the point I woke up in the remains of my former confrery building, destroyed Gods know how. But one thing for sure, my body remember that woman.

Not in a weird way. more like in a "I'm not supposed to feel frightened" way. The way people that can kill me are making me feel like.

Fear is not in the natural order of things. I was always more powerful than other people around me. Only exception being Kal. And now, that woman.

And since people can't all be creationnist magicians reputed to be messiahs of a god nobody believes in anymore, I take it this one is a goddess.

She is waiting from me in what looks like a used torture room. Standing on a chair covered in blood, holding a wedding ring in her finger.

"Rings are powerful tools of love, are they not ? This one was made in honor of the love between queen Frosilaen's predecessors. A beauty of a couple, and people killed too soon. But you don't remember that, don't you ?"

I roll my eyes.

"I certainly remember not liking people that talk in riddles."

A laugh escapes from her throat, and she jumps from the chair with a huge, happy smile, taking my hand to guide me towards the inside of the torture room. I don't like that, blood is making me uneasy, tugging at the strings of my broken brain like something I should, or shouldn't, remember.

"Still the same as ever, Mairù ! I'm glad memory loss didn't take that from you."

"You know about my memory loss ?"

She climbs the chair, up now at my eye level.

"Of course I know. How could you forget about me, you... Oh wait, of course you did, since someone took your memories! Silly me!"

Again I hear her laugh, but far, far away in my head where other words she made sound so trivial resonate so harshly.

Took my memories.

So my memory loss WAS artificial.

I don't know many mages able to erase a memory entirely. It could be Kage, with a powerful space-time spell, I know those people mastered that fucking craft. Or Kal. Kal, who described himself as my friend, an old friend, of course he would hide from me that someone took my memory.

And why the actual fuck did people tamper with my brain, godsdamnit ? Can't a guy have autonomy around here ? It's disturbing enough to see people looking at you weird without knowing why !

Something is boiling in me.

I think it's anger.

I hope it's anger.

"... Memories taken away, huh."

"Yeaaaaah. And you didn't even reach the goal I promised you, I feel so guilty for that failure ! And here I thought everything was perfect..."

Her words once again call for an echo in my mind. A goal. I had a goal. Something I desired more than anything in the world...

I remember now.

She's Desire. Goddess of Desire.

And this is definitely not our first meeting.

Probably seeing the light of comprehension in my face, Desire smiles almost wickedly. For a split second, I feel a shiver run down what's left of my spine. That girl could gobble me up so easily. Just a split second...

I shake my head. No time for fear, I may be in front of one of the biggest opportunities in my dump of a life.

"And I guess you can do something about that, sweetheart ?"

She laughs again.

"Oh dear, I haven't heard petnames in so long! And I can do anything people Desire enough..."

"I almost wanted to forget your tendency to do puns around your name."

"You wound me. Do you want your memories back or not ?"

I don't hesitate. Never intended to.

"Yes."

Her eyes burn with a newfound victory.

"Come a bit closer."

Her tone is far more commending than it was before. I'm not one to follow orders, but to my biggest shame I am not in any way able to disobey, and I walk the two, three steps that separate me from the chair she's standing on. From where I am, she's now higher than eye level, and that's highly disturbing : But I don't move, and wait for the next seconds to pass.

She takes my head between her hands. Her eyes didn't leave my face.

"Look at me."

My eyes are riveted on her. I couldn't look away even if I wanted to. Even if all my nerves are screaming to run away, run away before she bites my head off, before that face that is very much too close reaches her goal-

Her voice holds me in place, almost too sultry.

"You don't mind me, do you ? I'll need a bit of... Closure to achieve my goal."

I feel something on my mouth, hot and soft, right after I had the time to nod, and my mind blanks on the only thought that can reach through my brain at the moment.

Did she just give me tongue that little-

I can't finish that sentence. Because at the exact moment her tongue brushes mine something explodes in my brain and it's now only flashes and flashes of pain and screaming.

I see that face I now remember I loathed bringing me to the training grounds. I can feel the spells, my body changing, morphing, despite all my attempts to block it, I feel the magic pulsing in my veins, destroying what's left of the fight. I feel all that magic getting out, hitting the innocent face of a five-year-old I never wanted to hurt. I feel the looks on my face, so full of fear and disgust, so little people wanting to be near me. I feel her kisses and I hear her laugh, right before in my head resonates a "we can't continue like this."

And in the middle of that maelstrom of pain, I see her. Red-headed, beautifully authoritarian, holding my neck like I was naught but a naughty cat in need of a little scolding. I see her in my laboratory while we're sharing a laugh on a reagent that exploded while I didn't want it to, and my face is now covered in bubbles. I see her looking towards me while I explain exactly what pain I'm feeling, those looks I hoped to be understanding but discovered to be longing far too late, and when I realized it, how I wanted so badly to give her back those looks.

I remember the training, even harsher than the first one but this time of my own volition. I remember wanting so hard to become useful to her, to be a man nobody could fear anymore, that she would be proud to love. How I wanted so badly to come back to her and say sorry for everything I failed her for.

I remember coming home far too late.

I remember the black-haired bitch.

I remember the blood on my eyes.

I remember my most precious friend taking my face into his hands.

I remember everything.

The hands around my cheeks are not Kal's. They're Desire, who's stroking my head with an almost worried expression.

It hurts.

It hurts so much.

Please make the pain stop.

Please.

Anything.

Anyone...

"Shhhhht. It's okay. Take your time."

The first voice I hear isn't the one I desire the most. It's the one of the goddess that incarnates that desire. She's not here. Of course she's not here. She is in her arms, frolicking, doing gods know what, casting me aside like I was nothing but a fleeting comfort.

Again I am nothing but a fling.

There is only me and Desire in that room.

Whatever that means.

I rip myself off her hands, and lean on the nearest wall, trying to stabilize my breath. I didn't even notice I was breathing like a rabid dog. Godsdamnit, should it always hurt so bad to recover memories ?

Well, considering the nature of the memories, I guess that couldn't be avoided.

It takes a little while to finally regain control of my brain, but when it is finally clearer, Desire is still sitting on the chair, a huge ass smile on her lips. She looks almost too happy.

"Well ? What do we say to our favorite goddess ?"

I laugh almost sincerely.

"Thank you, Desire."

"Good boy. Now what do you intend to do ?"

Thinking doesn't take me long, as usual. I am currently under the biggest cover I can have, and not a lot of people can realize I recovered my memory. Either Kage, but Kage's never here, or Kal. But I know several ways to shut Kal up.

Best take advantage of it.

"Keep a low profile, of course! I am currently innocent like the newborn lamb for them, and I contribute to society! Why would I ruin that?"

"As always, you always choose the smartest move, my dear!"

It's not the most enjoyable one, but well, I know it will pay.

I don't mind playing the long game.

****

It's been a long time since my fucking trial, and Lina's coronation. Twenty years, if I recall. It's a lot, but for Travellers it goes like a second. Especially when you're at the head of a kingdom that needs rebuilding to the core.

Not like I care anyway. But contrary to Lina, who still looks as young as ever while having reached her forties, I feel my end approaching very, very quickly. I'm already at the high average of my species' life expectancy. I don't have much time to spare.

So I'm waiting for the right moment quite expectantly. Even more since Asura married. The pain I felt that day almost broke my vow of laying low, but I held my grounds. In a big part thanks to Desire and the tiny little button-like device now at the back of my head, that strangely helped regulate my emotions easier than I ever did myself.

She promised me only ten years of waiting. We're close to the deadline, and I still haven't heard a peep of that great project, besides the occasional mind conversation. We had a lot of things to do in ten years. For starters, I finally found something about Aelie's disease. I think I can create a vaccine, but I'm not quite sure. The virus is almost godlike, and gods don't like me meddling in their business.

Except Desire, apparently.

Since she's now sat on my fucking chair.

I should be happy to see her, really, I should. But the only thing I can think of is what the fuck girl I litteraly just woke up ???

"Wha- The hell are you doing in my room ???"

She lifts her head from the book she was reading, my research about the vaccine it seems.

"Oh hey Mairù ! Well, I'm trying to understand what you wrote there, but sadly I am no scientist."

"That- That wasn't my fucking question ?"

I say while realising in a split second that like the usual I'm fucking naked. Because of course I sleep naked, clothes are giving me a sensory nightmare. And I usually don't mind it except right now there's a fucking girl in my fucking room and she's the fucking goddess of fucking desire !

"fucking" being the appropriate word considering the look she just gave me. I'm under the feeling she just saw a very yummy plate of ribs that looks a little too eatable to my tastes. Intrigue the First, are goddesses always that horny ???

I blush, and pull back my covers on my chest. Not right now, not for you, and no don't smile more it's only creeping me out!

"Shy, are we ?"

"Can't a man have a right to damn privacy ? Let me put something on, at least, Intrigue the first be sent to Abyss!"

"Of course, of course, go ahead!"

And she

She doesn't move an inch.

Obviously.

I roll my eyes again, trying to not use a flashbang to get my damn privacy. Because that would be hostile, and plus, I'm not sure it works on gods.

"Desire, sweetheart, I meant LOOK SOMEWHERE ELSE !!!"

I can't miss her look of disappointment.

"Ohhh, right. Tell me when you're ready, would you ?"

Finally she turns around. I leap out of my bed, keeping my eyes on her, and hurriedly put on underwear and something to become at least a little more decent. Finally, when I've got my blouse on me, I signal Desire I'm now dressed, and she turns around a bit fast for my tastes.

"There you go! Now I can finally give you things to do!"

"Bossing me around, huh ? Never been a fan of that, hon."

"I would never. Except in bed."

My blasé look is, I think, enough of an answer. She laughs a little bit, before standing up.

"But more seriously the plan is almost in place. I just need some elements to make it more believable. Would you be willing to help me ?"

"Depends. On what?"

"Oh, nothing much. Now that I have my best mole implanted on the field, I need him in action. Soon enough a very special event will take place. I need someone that will blow the alarm whistle on it, and it needs to be from the Divine Mandate. Otherwise, they won't be able to participate."

I raise my eyebrow in surprise.

"And you can't tell them ?"

"Nope ! Cosmic law, remember ? It needs to be a Mandatian that discovers the info on their own terms for it to be broken."

Of course it always needs to be convoluted. But I know cosmic bindings quite well. I have studied the case of the Enlightened One in much of my free time because Asura loved that part of history. So I am familiar with promises that bind you by the very law of the universe.

"I see, I see. And you can't drop the documents I'm certainly gonna need on anyone, of course."

"Well, I could, but there is a slight chance it won't work. Nru tried to spill the beans earlier in history but almost died, you know ? She is from Ink, maybe it played a role."

"Not like it would have bothered me."

Desire has a small laugh.

"Of course. Point is, I'm putting every last chance on my side. Your species is Mandatian to the core, you know ? Your kind is only born in that territory, and we never could figure out why. If there is someone that can break that cosmic binding, it's you."

And then again with being a prophet... Well, can't say I'm not used to it. And at least it would be useful for my very own personal goal.

"All right. Where do I need to go to find the precious information I'm supposed to break a cosmic binding around ?"

Desire smiles brightly and jumps towards me.

"Perfect ! Nothing far, don't worry, only in Love's cathedral."

"In where now ?"

My face must be very funny because Desire bursts into laughing almost immediately.

"Don't look so surprised ! Adam kept quite a lot of documents during his reign, on all of the kingdoms including yours. Love's cathedral is the best place to start genuine research."

"Okay, fair enough, but Love's cathedral is where, sweetie ? In PAPER CONTINENT. You think I'm allowed to go there alone ???"

My concerns are brushed aside in a movement of the hand and a shrug.

"Just find someone to accompany you, pretend a breakthrough for the vaccine, there's many pretexts ! It will be even more impactful that way !"

If you say so. I suppose it will be better than to stay in that unbearable status quo. And I'll finally get to see that infamous Love cathedral where lied the first Frosilaen brother.

****

I’m back from Paper continent with a shitload of new intel and even more questions, starting with those three countries I finally remember, or discovered, the existence of. Now I know what Principality of Lazzaro is referencing, and it doesn’t exactly please me. A cosmic binding can’t be enough to hide both three countries and a giant fuckass tournament to decide which one is governing the other.

Worst, in my opinion, is that Lazzaro won the last one. But the Mandate is still autonomous and going strong. So what the fuck happened ?

I’m sat in my room after giving the news, and watching Lina’s face shrivel in terror. I think there are other implications to this tournament I don’t follow. She already asked me to participate. How funny it is that she needs me exactly when the country is in dire need of power.

And not at any other moment.

Oh, the irony. Did she ever see me as something else than a tool to satisfy her needs ?

Did everyone ever that was in love saw the other as something other than the satisfaction of their needs anyway ?

My visit to Love’s cathedral convinced me otherwise. Love there was only people kissing, noises of face meeting and absolutely no conversation. I’m starting to believe these people speak another language that needs their tongues joined together, and I am definitely not fluent. I would accuse Adam of twisting the meaning of Love, but even his death didn’t change anything.

Being the son of Love, Adam must have known what she wanted. What the word meant.

And if it’s only that… Have I ever been in love ?

A cough is heard right behind me. Desire, popping in my room for the second time in a week. This time, fortunately, I am not naked.

“Congrats for completing the task. And now that you know what I meant by “being by my side”...”

“You want me to participate in the tournament.”

I cut her in the middle of her sentence, but she doesn’t look too outraged. Only nods, eyes still riveted on me.

“Exactly. Sorry for having to be clear now about what our agreement was, but cosmic bindings make so. I mean, I would like to participate, but sovereigns are not allowed to, and that means giving up the crown, even only for a moment…”

“Eh, I’m better at fighting than ruling or naming over successors.”

“You were once Thaumargeikhon for the Heirs, tho.”

“Don’t remind me.”

Dark period of my life. Even though Kal had to twist a little the true meaning of that ancestral place at the Heir government, I never loathed more my place in politics. And I was only here to snarl at those corrupted fuckers wanting to be no better than the one genociding them. And I meant the term. Racism goes both ways even when there is one part of the people that is systematically discriminated against.

Desire doesn’t push the subject. She just shrugs.

“Fine, as you wish. I’m also gonna need to recruit Kage and Kal, since they’re not out of my hair.”

“Why them ? I am enough of a powerhouse already.”

She smiles, sitting on my bed. Great, now I can’t go lie down, it’ll just be weird.

“You are. But if they’re not with us, they’re against us. Lina will recruit them to her team, especially if you’re not there, and you and Kal are of equal strength. I can’t afford uncertainty. I need to win.”

 “Why ?”

“For the exact reason it will be easy to convince Kage and Kal.”

She shuts up. Probably not wanting to say more. But there is something in her voice, something that tells me that the matter is all more personal than simply taking over a kingdom and reclaiming a victory the Mandate did not accept.

I would have pushed the subject, in another time. Or maybe just asked more questions. But my mind is occupied enough as it is.

Probably she noticed my silence, since she turned her head towards me.

“Something on your mind ?”

“A lot of things, really. I’m still thinking about Love’s cathedral. You’re really hated there, by the way.”

Desire sneers.

“Of course. They think love and desire don’t meddle easily, only create suffering. For them, love should only be submission. I find that completely stupid.”

“Heh. And here I thought you would tell me something about how love and sex are intertwined.”

I didn’t intend to do anything about that sour look on her face, only tease a little about all those times people told me to love someone, you must fuck them. Including some of the idiots in Love’s cathedral thinking sex is something you give, something you endure out of love. I always thought it was stupid, because then I’d never have been in love; but who would be listened to between the Love priest and the monster people love to hate ?

But to my surprise, she bursts out laughing, all traces of sourness gone from her face.

“Echiapolis, no! I’m not that stupid and especially not that inconstant. Sex is a matter of desire for pleasure, yours or the other’s, it has nothing to do with love. Can be linked, yes, but ain’t everything ?”

She lays down on my bed -great, there goes my nap- and sighs heavily.

“You know, sometimes I think I should have been one of the first goddesses. Because Desire, for everything, is what drives life forward. I have power some of those idiot Twelve can’t even imagine, including Love herself. But law says I am only a minor god with no counterpart, because Creator or whatever knows why. And Love is taken for everything I am while reducing what she is so, so much.”

“And what is love, then, if not what I saw at the cathedral ?”

Another sigh.

“You’re asking me a difficult question.”

“Who is the older-than-thou goddess that just told me Love isn’t what she appears to be ?”

She laughs, and pokes my non-existent ribs with a teasing smile.

“Smartass.”

“Should have thought of that before making a deal with me, sweetheart.”

Desire smirks and pinches the skin under what’s left of my torso.

“Oh, I’m more than happy to get the whole package, if you know what I mean.”

And if I had any doubts, the wink she just gave me is proof that yes, I know what she meant. Ew. Horny little shit. You’re not even sure I have something down there, for all you know magic could have destroyed that part of me. I did not check if it was still functional anyway, and I don’t see any future where it would be.

“You still didn’t answer my question.”

Apparently she didn’t expect me to come back to the subject, but she doesn’t have any ways to escape anymore. She sighs, and lay down again, looking at the ceiling with pensive eyes.

“Love is… Well, more than kissing, for starters. It’s the Desire to be close to someone, to hear their heart beat for you, to live for them. It’s shared interest or wanting to hear all about what they like, because it’s them and whatever they enjoy must be worth it. It’s wanting to stay with the person forever. It's so much more than just surrendering to someone.”

“You’re putting a lot of “want” in there.”

“Love is a bit selfish. It’s the selfishness to be selfless.”

“Wow. Deep,” I say with all the sarcasm I say. “You guys have something with a word and its opposite ?”

“Hey, you asked me to answer.”

“Fair.”

I think for a brief moment, before turning my head towards her.

“Have you ever been in love ?”

I probably shouldn’t have asked that question. Because her eyes are now lost behind a veil of mist, and the sadness in her expression is making me another kind of uneasy. I think it’s regret. Is it regret ?

Her face taints with every kind of sorrow.

“I have, yes.”

I stop pushing the subject.

***

My head hurts.

It hurts so much.

Why does it hurt that much ?

I should be happy.

Nru just died and it wasn’t my fault.

Yes, I did kill people during that tournament, but for her I stayed put. Like Desire told me to. and it paid. She's dead. Not by me.

I should be happy.

Why does it hurt ?

Was it Asura’s tears ? Everyone’s looks of sorrow ? Or my death approaching with the feeling I’ll never get those tears ?

I don’t know.

It hurts.

I have to fight Srodek tomorrow, and this time I don’t think I’ll be able to manage with the same bravado. Even though I swiped the Mandate’s team with ease, it took a big part of my energy and I had to get Kal to help me against Alba. Damn Byleth. Why did Desire expect me to fight an Aspect and win ? I barely obtained a victory and it was because he surrendered.

I feel so tired. My end is growing near. I could reach my forties but I know I won’t live past fifty. Every happiness I’ll obtain starting from now won’t last.

It hurts.

Desire is standing in front of a painting. Old, judging by the state of the paint. A woman is represented lying down on pillows, wearing a chiton whiter than snow. she would look perfectly normal if not for her skin, swirling and tracing a pattern of galaxy.

I don’t know who that woman is, but Desire looks at her with enough resentment for me to hate her.

I don’t know why.

“Mairù ?”

I sigh. Of course she would spot me. The amplification device tells her wherever I am, in whatever state. I didn’t expect her to worry about me.

“Yeah, I’m here.”

“Come closer.”

I obey, too tired to protest.

It hurts.

“How are you feeling ?”

I sigh.

“Bad.”

“Nru’s dead, tho. Shouldn’t that make you happy ?”

“I’m too close to death to be happy about anything right now.”

Something shifts in her expression, subtle, almost soft, before she finally stops looking at the painting to turn towards me.

“You won’t live that long, will you ?”

“Probably not. I’m already on borrowed time, and going full power for so long isn’t helping.”

“So any of the happiness I promised you wouldn’t last long anyway.”

“Afraid so. Hey, not your fault, alright ?” I smile, seeing some kind of shift in her face. “You upheld your part. The fact that I’m not eternal is my problem.”

It still hurts.

Desire bites her lower lip. Her eyes shift, from the painting to me to the painting again. One moment, I think she wants to say something, the other she just closes her eyes and steps a bit closer.

Her hands run over what’s left of the skin on my left arm.

“Nothing of this is fair.”

“Life ? Fair ? If it was, I wouldn’t be here with you, and I wouldn’t have any reason to accept your deal. Should be happy life fucked me over, sweetheart.”

Even the petname doesn’t make her laugh.

“I should not have to.”

It hurts a little less.

***

My brain is empty.

I do not know why I didn’t die.

I should have died.

I am close to death. And now the only thing keeping me alive threw my last chance of a fleeting happiness in the face.

Is it my fault ?

It’s probably my fault.

I don’t know what I’ve done. Only that it’s bad.

Only that Chiara is the only one who stopped in front of me.

“Desire seeks you,” she said. “You can still do something,” she said. But what ?

What good am I ?

Going on the battlefield at this time would kill me. My magic is too unstable, blood and death would be my end. At least I should time up that death to wipe out a maximum of enemies. But are they even my enemies ?

Some of them are the people Kal and I commanded. Heirs brainwashed by what took Love’s place to fight, to believe there is a future to that victory. But there won’t be a victory for anyone. Only for that eldritch beast that eats gods.

Is the something I can still do my death ?

Will I die as a tool after living as a monster ?

I can’t think.

I only walk, deep in the underground where Desire seeks me.

She’s there, protected by the H.A.R.D.I.. In front of her burns a purple flame, almost extinct, she’s looking at it with tired eyes.

She doesn’t even look my way.

“You’re here.”

The H.A.R.D.I. are looking at me with hateful eyes. Don’t know why. Too tired to care. I only know that now that I’m next to Desire, the pain is subsiding at least for a little while.

“Hey.”

“Guys, she ordered without even giving me an answer. Do me a favor and get out. I need pristine concentration.”

H.A.R.D.I. grunt like a sole man, but obey without any question. Ivan pushes me aside like I’m nothing but an obstacle in his way, without even sparing a look in my direction. I only roll my eyes. Whatever goes through those meatheads, I want nothing in it.

I sit down on the floor, waiting. What good can I still do, here, with a goddess and a weird flame ?

“Do you know what that is ?”

She asked, like she has nothing better to do. I squint my eyes.

“The Soul of all Souls, I recall. Artefact hidden in the chambers that helps give the royals their powers. What is responsible for Lina’s ability to cast powerful creationnist spells, and what’s left of the creationnist energy of the kingdom.”

“Yes… And no. Creation was consumed with the death of the royal lineage, who were also the last of their species, only maintained alive by that flame. With them gone, there is no one able to channel their power enough to keep creationnist energy like you knew it. This flame is not a remainder. It’s a catalyst.”

“Huh.”

There is something she’s not telling me, again, in her tone of voice. some sort of fear, some sort of longing. But I’m too tired to go deeper. I only want to sleep, sleep and hope I won’t wake up in this life.

Even though eternal punishment would be waiting for me at the end it would always be better than her eyes burning with hatred.

Desire is still standing in front of the flame.

“Do you know what I’m trying to do ?”

I shrug. Something that has to do with awakening a power bigger than the gods to end that fucking thing. And the war that is starting in the fields in front of Wake’li. A war I can’t partake in, because it would be too early for me to die that stupidly.

“Vaguely.”

“Do you think I can do it ?”

I roll my eyes.

“You’re asking a scientist to give a result on something that has never in all life been tested. Sure, I can think, but what good would it prove, anyway ?”

“I underestimated your pragmatism, it seems. You’re not keen on encouragement, are you?”

“Never has been, never will be. Did you ask for support or facts ?”

“Good point.”

She laughs a little bit, before looking again at the flame.

“Do you know what I’ll be able to do if I do it ?”

“Not quite. Kill that bastard of a giant critter over there ?”

“I mean, yeah, but not only.”

She is still back turned on me, still standing, still immobile. Her hand is, I notice it now, right in the middle of the flames. It doesn’t consume her, apparently, her skin and flesh stay pristine. But she doesn’t get her hand out.

“I will be able to wield a power big enough to mold the world like I want to. I could give you what you wanted for good. What would you wish for, if I could give you all ?”

That’s a difficult question. What would I wish for when every last one of my reasons to live disappeared with no chance of coming back ? I have only some days to live and even then, I wouldn’t have anything to live with. Anything to live for.

What then ? Do I ask for life and live the bland existence of the one that always will be alone ? Or worse, of the one you call only when you need him ? The one you run away from ? Or do I ask for death and leave behind me nothing but a meaningless existence ? What do I want from life that doesn’t need a sacrifice ?

My lack of answer is apparently not of Desire’s taste, because she grits her teeth.

“Her again ?”

A painful smile grows on my lips.

“What for ? She hates me, and loving me would take everything I cherished away from her. Even if you could grant me life, Desire, it would only be meaningless.”

“What, then ?”

“What could I wish for ? I had illusions all my life, but the truth is I led an existence as nothing more than a tool or a monster.”

And tools or monsters cant wish 

for 

anything at all.

Silence falls on the basement. The flame burns brighter. And for minutes I thought I won’t have any answers, before she turns around, and I see something I’d never thought I see in the corner of her eye.

“I do not see you as either a tool or a monster.”

And strangely I want to believe her.

Because in all the years I knew her and looked at her face never have I seen a single tear.

***

Universe is looking at what’s left of the Worm, godless and exploded out of creation leaving only behind dust and the traces of its existence. Everything is now over, and even though I hear faint crying on the battlefield, there is no sounds of battle.

We won.

And I’m still alive.

I spent three days in that room, slipping Desire some magic, helping her control hers. It helped me regain a bit of control over my brain, enough to not explode yet, but what really saved me is one single word out of the mouth of that strange goddess now possessing my… 

Huh. I don’t know what word to use. Partner in crime, perhaps ?

Anyway. The First God, or whatever she is, is still possessing her. I won’t say a word, because we kinda needed her to win at that point, but I really don’t like that situation. Is Desire going to stay like that forever ? I don’t like this. I don’t like this at all.

Lina, next to me, is grunting.

“Okay. Now that we got worm dust and an army running away from my castle, can someone explains to me what the fuck is going on ?”

Desire, or rather, Universe, turns towards her purple eyes.

“Nothing, Lina Frosilaen. Just my awakening.”

“You’re not making any fucking sense.”

“Am I? Maybe I should smite you for that disrespect.”

And Lina, for once in her life, shuts up. Maybe because she finally realized that Desire’s voice is not Desire, or maybe it’s because her body is now squirming, trying to fight that amount of power.

Universe rolls her eyes.

“Can you stay put, Desire ? I won’t be there for long, you’re the one restraining me.”

“Let’s see if I got that properly," interjected Asura with a wary expression. “You are not Desire, but rather the power she tried to awaken during those last four days. And now you want to gain… Or regain autonomy but she’s stopping you. On what grounds ? You don’t look like a power a mere goddess can control.”

I would be insulted for the use of “mere” goddess if I didn’t witness Universe break an enemy we took so long to fight in only one word. But I’m still surprised by her precedent affirmation. Why is Desire restraining her ? The fight proved the power of her mother is not something you can control. If she continues, she may end up hurt in the process.

I don’t want that.

I don’t want to ever see her agonize.

Universe crosses Desire’s arms, a bored expression on her face. It doesn’t suit her at all.

“You’re right on many points. I don’t intend to stay any longer under the yoke of that pest, and nor do I intend to hurt you. I just want to spend some time with my daughter, see what I missed in this word. But she wants to… extort from me a last service before I leave.”

“That is ?”

She sighs, before turning her head towards me.

“Well, she wants me to definitively stabilize the sovereign of magic. In a physical, mental, magical, and… Sexual way, apparently.”

wh.

wait.

wHAT ????

I’m not the only one surprised, apparently. Lina looks like she just swallowed a big chunk of Heir viscera. And I won't talk about Asura whose jaw is somewhere on the floor, stupefied by whatever just got out of Universe’s mouth. She turns her head towards me, and I feel her eyes piercing me, in a mix of disgust and astonishment.

My cheeks are probably completely blue with embarrassment, but I still have the energy to shout.

“Hey, don’t fucking look at me like that! I have no damn idea what she’s talking about!”

“Mairù Claro and women, once again striking, she sneers, putting a hand on her forehead. You really have no idea ?”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean ?!”

Worst is, I hear from what’s left of the infirmary a double laugh that I know damn well whose it is. And I’m getting fucking tired of this shit. Now is the moment you choose to be little siblings ??

“Eat your damn shit, Baku, Akira ! I didn’t ask for your mockery!”

Of course, the laughs don’t stop. And Universe is still looking at me, quite expectantly. I think she’s waiting for something.

“What do you think about all that ?”

What, me ? She’s asking for MY input ? It’s even more surprising than Desire admitting she wants to fuck me. Because well I’m not gonna lie, now I think I should have seen that coming.

Trying to hide the embarrassment, I cross my arms and stare at her right in those damn purple eyes.

“You think I would spit on an opportunity to finally live my life without pain and the risk of exploding at every damn moment ?”

“Funny. I would have thought you’d rather die.”

I.

Well.

That is kinda true.

I did want to die. Moments before. days before. I don’t know.

But now when I think about the possibility of me dying it’s just. That would be such a waste. I didn’t die during that giant ass battle, why would I die now ? And if I don’t die, I will take the opportunity to live. And live however I want to.

However I want to…

“Yeah, well, suicidal phase over. People would be too happy I’d disappear anyway.”

And I’m certainly not gonna let that happen. If I have to live, I will annoy everyone that thought I would die soon in a way they won’t forget.

If I can live, I'd rather live a life for people who believed I could. Like the little woman restraining the mother of all life with all her body and might just to give me that chance.

Universe smiles. Then open her mouth. And the litany of words that gets out of it sends all of us into a deep, deep sleep.

***

“You still think life is unfair now ?”

I have woken up from one of my first full nights of sleep in ages, and Desire is on top of me, her transparent dress not covering anything. I can still see the marks I gave her earlier in the day, everywhere on her chest and prominent belly, where my child is preparing to be born. I’m sure I’m in a worse state. Gods, apparently, mark as well as sovereign of magic when both of them want to, and I desperately want to keep a trace of her on me.

I laugh, kiss her right next to that cute smirk, and bring her closer.

“Abyss yes. How is a man supposed to get immortality, full power with no repercussions and a woman that perfect without thinking how life is unfair to the poor saps that won’t get the same chance ?”

“Sweettalker.”

“Always for you, sweetheart.”

Her laugh joins mine while she lays down on me, her pregnant belly weighing against my stomach. She’s heavy, but I would admit that for nothing, because that means she would move, and I don’t want her to move.

“Up to do something today ? We could go to the castle and annoy Lina, or just stay here for a little while to do some… Sport.”

“We were at it for five DAYS.”

“And I’m still a goddess, my dear. Plus, from what I’ve seen, your body is reacting very well to your newfound infinite endurance.”

“I’m beginning to think I’m nothing but a sex toy to you, love. A very useful, extremely multitasking and always willing sex toy.”

Her laugh rings in my ear, the sound of it rippling through my body.

“You wound me. Alright mister, no sex for you!”

“You’ll yield before me, you cute little horndog.”

“Then no hugs.”

She looks at me with a victorious smile while I burst out laughing.

“Please, no! My heart won’t handle it !”

“Liar! You don’t have any heart !”

“And the fact you asked for my dick to be regenerated rather than my heart is saying a lot about you, honey!”

She hits me playfully with the back of her hand, or tries to anyway, since I catch her right in the act and make her roll on the bed. We spend a little time like this, just playfully fighting, ignoring the sheets and pillows going everywhere in the room. There’s no one to hear us anyway, this far in Liovelnis’s desert.

Finally I yield, and she climbs once again on top of me, just plopping on my chest. Intrigue the first she’s adorable when she pouts like that.

But because I’d rather see her smile, I stroke her hair gently, and bring her closer. I have no heart for her to hear beating, it’s true, but it’s for her nonetheless.

I let her put her head in the curve of my shoulder and smile.

“I love you.”

She kisses my collarbone with the exact same smile.

“I love you too.”

[avatarskywalker78]

I saw your ask for @/arrthurpendragon and first of all it was SO sweet and I'm so glad to have met and befriended you!!!! 💜💜💜 second of all you mentioned you also have an old guard oc and if you're willing to share I'd like to hear about them ❤

You're very welcome and I am always happy to talk about my OCs!! The fic will start two months after the film and the OC is Lexa Sullivan (faceclaim Naomi Scott), thirty-two years old, a former soldier in the British Army and current Red Cross worker, who - in a twist of fate - is not killed as a result of her work but during one of the rare times she isn't working, catching stray bullets after gang warfare breaks out in [city yet to be decided]. The only person who rushes to her and stays with her as she's dying is a Frenchman called Sebastien, and Lexa's scared, of course, because she had so much she wanted to do...but she's also relieved that she's not going to die alone...

Except she doesn't die, and the last face she saw as a mortal is the first face she sees as an Immortal and they're both really freaked out by this. But Lexa can't deny what just happened and listens to his explanation of things, though she doesn't want to meet the others yet until it's all sunk in. She learns the man normally goes by Booker, and later that evening he tells her about himself and how he betrayed the team and how really, she'd be better off with the others, especially as he's in exile.

Lexa...chooses not to. Lexa looks at him, this man who chose to stay by a dying stranger's side, who's been nothing but helpful and who could've hidden or downplayed his role in things but instead has been completely honest with her. And although part of her gets why the group would exile him... the main reason he did what he did was because he felt alone and because he didn't want to be here any more, and somehow Lexa thinks that exiling the suicidal man without setting up any kind of support is a terrible idea, especially given the fact that immortality can apparently stop as suddenly as it starts, so he might not even be around in a hundred years time.

And Lexa's knows she can't be his therapist, but she can be his friend, because he looks like he could do with one... and given her life has just changed dramatically she could do with the company as well and so she stays. And most of the first story is going to focus on their friendship and Lexa's attempts to get him to go to therapy because holy fuck does he need it (and she establishes contact with Copley because they need some kind of help here), and there's going to be quite a lot of emotional moments. For Booker in particular because things get worse before they get better, and he spends a good chunk of the story waiting for the other shoe to drop and Lexa to leave (she doesn't.)

I've had this idea and the character since I first watched the film back in 2020, I just haven't written more than a few snippets. But I would love to get back and work on it because I have so many ideas and I love their friendship so much (and it gives me an excuse to watch the film ^_^) and I really love Lexa herself! She's so great and a very good friend and just amazing!!!

[bogkeep]

-> to greygale, Gleamspire is a symbol of everything wrong with magic. caring for nobody but themselves and their precious records. the disregard for life, especially those of ordinary folk. and most of all: digging too deep in places they should not. -> (greygale was very young when their parents signed up as volunteers for a magic study. something about manipulating the delicate tworls of the soul connected to the mind. whatever compensation they had been promised, the cost was too great.) -> lizerd wizerd, far better known as just zerd, is a magic mechanic. a damn good one, who's always had the ability to see the shape of magic with her eyes, right in front of her, all around her. she knows what pieces to move and tweak with her engraved tools to solve spells gone wrong. a very rare skillset, almost unheard of so far away from Gleamspire... -> (it's worth keeping a low profile when you've accidentally merged your soul with that of a dragon and created a sentient sword with the leftovers.) -> (it's a great sword, the wordwield. sure, it snarks at you, but you can set the wheel to summon all kinds of elemental magic.)

-> sparrow is not only exiled, but hunted. Gleamspire may have the defenses to keep the Beast out - it is not the first of its kind, though it may be the most powerful - but the rest of the world is not so lucky, and sparrow is no longer of Gleamspire.

-> the Beast yearns to swallow up the rest of sparrow's life, subsume xem into itself, become independent. sparrow cannot let that happen. it stalks xem, slowly and destructively. xe does xyr best to lead it away from civilization - but xe is so tired and helpless and has nowhere to go except for following the fragile leads for a solution.

-> (and xe does wonder, despite xyr best attempts not to, should xe have been executed after all? did the council of Gleamspire choose wrongly? would the Beast die with xem, or gain xyr powers? the gamble is too horrible to consider.)

-> sparrow is at the end of xyr rope when xe finally finds the magic mechanic in the remote town of Stonehade. it doesn't help that xe has a bit of a terrifying run-in with the guardian of the town - the notorious greygale, seeting with hatred for mages, and wielding a dark sword that can cut through magic. how did they even get such a thing? -> (maybe zerd took pity on a young and orphaned teen, many years ago. maybe she just wanted to give them a way to defend themself.)

-> zerd really does want to help, just. What The Actual Fuck Happened Here My Guy. How Did You Mess Up This Badly!!!! so many wheels of sparrow's life force spin so fast, so savagely, she doesn't have the tools to even begin fixing this mess... -> sparrow does xyr best to warn the town guardian about the Beast. xe knows it's approaching, xe knows time is ticking away, but there is nowhere. left. to go. xe knows, xe knows!!! -> pros: the guardian is kinda hot.

-> cons: greygale is the last person you want to tell about the magically summoned God Beast that may or may not raze the town that's harbouring an exiled spellcaster who's also responsible for all this.

-> cons: greygale is going to swing a sword at you.

-> the sword is flung out of their grip and clatters to the stone floor. sparrow never moved, but the spinning cogwheels of xyr life force could not be cut so easily.

-> sparrow curtsies and takes xyr leave, taking advantage of a stunned and unmoving greygale.

-> sparrow collapses almost as soon as xe is out of the building and the adrenaline runs out.

-> zerd does her best to take care of sparrow as well as furiously scrawling out notes and diagrams, no closer to a solution. the deadline is not helping.

-> also not helping is greygale coming to her workshop with sword needing repairs, for... Some Reason. they did not expect to find sparrow.

-> it is under a precarious truce (and zerd's strict workshop safety rules) that greygale and sparrow... Talk.

-> magic can do so much. it can build and heal and create. even Stoneshade has a strong foundation of magically made buildings and infrastructures - maybe not as sophisticated as a metropolis such as Gleamspire, but still useful, good. sparrow only ever wanted to do good things. great things. singlehandedly change the world for the better.

-> greygale's glare does not change.

-> sparrow sighs. xe is never seen without a smile or a smirk - but xe drops it now.

-> it's easy to get lost in Gleamspire. it's easy to forget the rest of the world when you're drowning in splendour and miracles. it's easy to forget people live outside of the race to the top. when you're only ever surrounded by your peers, competing to dismantle reality and put it back together, it's...

-> sparrow made a horrible mistake and doesn't know how to fix it.

-> greygale's expression softens, just a little bit.

-> greygale isn't sure what to do when a person you absolutely despise is being vulnerable and also crying????? awkwardly cough and leave? yeah. yeah

-> zerd says she's totally gonna fix greygale's sword please come back for it later!!!!! (she's actually dismantling it. the guilt has been eating away at her for years.)

-> i'm sure more things happen but only so much can happen before the Beast approaches.

-> sparrow makes the Choice.

-> xe will let greygale sever the connection between xem and the Beast, even if it means sacrfi- what do you mean you don't have the sword.

-> ZERD WHERE IS THE SWORD

-> adding a new functionality to the wordwield VERY FAST UNDER LOTS OF PRESSURE, CAN THE SWORD PLEASE SHUT UP WHILE WE'RE PERFORMING SWORD SURGERY ON IT

-> the cut needs to be extremely precise and powerful. zerd can tell greygale exactly where to cut, but if they stray even a little bit things can go horribly wrong - oh good the earth is shaking from the thunderous footsteps of the Beast!!!!! -> in the nick of time and with no other nicks at all, the wordwield cuts cleanly through soul and hair.

-> the spinning wheels stop.

-> the Beast freezes.

-> the severed wheels fall apart.

-> the Beast disintegrates.

-> sparrow sinks to xyr knees, severed braids all around xem, breathing heavily.

-> for a moment, xe thinks xe might die after all, they just amputated xyr soul, a huge chunk of it. xe blacks out, barely hearing greygale and zerd yelling xyr name.

-> xe wakes in a bed.

-> it's not the first time zerd has had to patch up wounds in the soul, it's actually considerably easier to do on someone other than yourself!! sparrow will definitely suffer some Consequences, but xe's alive, isn't xe?

-> sparrow is already weeping and gasping laughing with relief when xe spots greygale in the room as well. are they blushing? their expression is almost always so sour, it's hard to tell...

-> xe winks at them.

hey! if you want to, i’d love to hear more about sparrow spellcaster? xe seem very very cool!!

YES, i can tell you more about sparrow spellcaster :D xyr story was supposed to become a webcomic, but that's... not happening, as i do not have the resources to work on a project like that right now. i still hope to tell xyr story through an actual format of some kind someday! but until then...!

- > in this world, everything is connected. if you know how to look, how to listen, how to feel, you can find the clockwork connections between it all. your own life force, tied to every part of your body, and the way the wheels and parts move and are moved by all that is around you. if you know how - you can move these. you can manipulate reality itself, like rearranging the pieces of a puzzle. that is magic.

(very old visual explanation of the magic system here)

- > in this world, those who can practice magic are mages, naturally. mages go to the prestigious university in Gleamspire. one of gleamspire's star students is Sparrow Spellcaster. Sparrow is not just a regular mage, no. as the title xe has earned indicates, xe can cast their spells, change the world around xem with a thought. most mages can only change that which they touch, but sparrow is a prodigy.

- > magic is a dangerous practice. the pieces you are playing with are those of your own soul and body. if you do it wrong, you can cause serious harm to your own body or your own soul. the road to discovery of new ways to utilize magic is paved with pain and accidents and horrible outcomes.

- > to sparrow, magic comes intuitively, easy as breathing. xe is not afriad, even when xe should be. worst of all, xe is enabled. never have the professors had a student like this - think of all the things they could discover! all the things they could try!

- > sparrow thrives on the attention, thrives on the glory, and xe is proud. it's hard to tell how it happens, exactly - did xe do it for a bet? did xe do it for the audience, to prove someone wrong? did xe do it because xyr teachers asked them to do it, made them do it? either way, the outcome is the same.

- > sparrow spellcaster summons a god, creates it out of thin air.

- > magic is a dangerous practice. you should never summon any living being. you do not know their strength.

- > a glorious beast, like a statue come to life, perfect because sparrow's magic is perfect. perfect and vengeful, drunk on its own rage.

- > that is when sparrow realizes - xe can't reach all of xyr life force anymore. the wheels are spinning, powering the creature xe has brought forth, but xe cannot take back the control. it's like half of xyr strings have been cut, but xe is still tied to the puppeteer.

- > destruction follows. it takes every mage in gleamspire to drive the god beast out, and it will only continue its rampage elsewhere.

- > they almost executed sparrow, but nobody knows for sure if xyr death would have stopped the beast, and xe has too many friends in high places for the suggestion to go through. in a bitter act of mercy, sparrow is exiled from gleamspire.

- > sparrow is fatigued. so much of xyr own life is powering something else. xe keeps falling asleep at random places, random times. xe no longer has the strength to groom xemself, to redo xyr braids properly. xe can no longer cast spells as xe used to - there is still power left in xem, they still have skill, but so much of it is simply out of reach, inaccessible.

- > xe cannot stop the god beast on xyr own.

- > xe has to try anyway.

(here's another very old comic explanation)

[space-blue]

Why didn't Marcus do anything to take Silco down after he killed the old Sherrif? Why did he instead agree to team up with him? Did Silco have anything on him to connect him to Grayson's murder? I don't think so? Piltover was already dead set on hunting down people connected to the robbery. Then their Sherrif died. Surely they were 10 times more looking for blood. Why Marcus, the guy who was looking for a chance to get at the trenchers, just do a 180 and actually team up with Silco? Also how did they placate the council to look the other way and let their beef go?

Those are some good questions. Some have answers implied in the show, and others really don't and rely and you filling it in yourself.

I think you may be slightly misrepresenting things there by saying Marcus "teams up" with Silco. He never does, truly. He gets used, and then he gets bribed and tricked. From episode 3 onward, he's not on "Team Silco", but on team "wtf did I get myself into". Marcus doesn't want Silco to succeed in his secession, he just wants to keep his job and not be thrown in jail.

This is just my interpretation... But I think the situation is this : Marcus meets dodgy man who has intel. Goes and acts on it. It comes up empty, but the provocation, going to Vander's bar, riles up Grayson and leads to their argument.

Then VI sends a message saying she surrenders. They go down to arrest her, but Vander gets in the way, and what do you know, all enforcers, including Grayson, die. From Marcus' PoV, this looks very much like a massive trap. And maybe he'd think it's not his fault, but the trap is by Silco, who he's just met with. Then Silco very publicly pays him in literal blood money.

It's very on the nose. It's unclear though if this development was arranged. Was Marcus supposed to lead Silco to Vander? We don't really know. Is the money forced on Marcus like "thanks, you led me here (unwittingly), good job"? We don't have enough details.

However, we see Marcus later with his bloody coin, and we know by act II and III that he takes bribes.

Anyway, after episode 3, Marcus knows that Silco has strange monsters doing his bidding. Silco isn't afraid to kill a sheriff if needed. He also knows that the strong local leader Grayson had ties with just got dragged away by the neck and things might fully blow up in his face.

Marcus is Grayson's second in command. Grayson is dead. He can come clean about everything, and potentially be blamed for this shit show, or he can claim they were attacked ruthlessly by Vander and his goons, but what do you know? They're dead. Maybe even spin a story that they were protecting the culprit of the explosion?

It's another thing we don't know : Vi doesn't have a file, but we don't know if Piltovans were made aware of her existence. I assume the Council either knows she was caught and jailed, or was told everyone died in that big confrontation. I mean, clearly Silco arranged something.

Marcus is a young single father (most likely, we don't know when his missus died), he's young for his position (certainly much younger than Grayson).

He can chose to go with the narrative Silco helps him spin, or make a stink and stand up for justice and truth.

Going with Silco, he probably has the culprits and bodies he needs to spin the perfect yarn of heroism and confrontation. I assume if Piltover wanted more guilty people, Silco could hunt down more Vander supporters and serve them on a silver platter, again making Marcus seem super competent.

The issue is that yes, from the MOMENT he choses that option, Silco has everything on him. A traitor? Who collaborates with his sheriff's killer?

Have you seen what passes for justice in Piltover? He'd be lucky to only be fired. They wanted to exile Jayce for researching dangerous/illegal materials. I think Marcus knows this intimately. He knows exactly how FUCKED he'd be if the truth airs out, and is totally unwilling to beg for compassion when the Council is already in such a blood thirsty mood.

Silco also berates him later: "think yourself a hero?" — And I believe act I Marcus might have truly believed that he was doing Vi a favour, and that taking over as Sheriff, at least he'd know the truth, and manage Silco, and maybe achieve the best outcome for everyone. Like "this is the lesser of two evils" and "I'm doing the best I can", all to try and soothe himself, because he's really craven and spineless and accepted that blood money.

So yeah. Placated the council with a tale of heroism that nobody was even alive to contest... And a big pile of dead Zaunites and living ones to put behind bars. Potentially serve Vi up on a platter. Then he's forever on team Silco because not being team Silco means a crazy amount of dirty laundry coming to light and guaranteeing he's screwed. And he has a kid tying him down, and probably couldn't give her as good a childhood anywhere else being on the run or exiled.

I have this entire theory here, as to why Marcus was so angry in act I.

It's all made up, with some very very veryyyyy slight evidence lol but it can help paint a picture of a guy with a chip on his shoulder, who genuinely wants to avenge himself personally on Zaunites and loses a lot of humanity in the process. I mean, he was chasing little children... If he weren't such a raging dick, having people tossed through windows for the crime of spitting on his shoe... Things may have been different. I think he always has a bit of a hero complex. It suits him well, goes wonderfully with his weak will and habit of bribe taking. He's a great cowardly character imo.

[smallblueandloud]

so i'm now watching a compilation of leia's "best scenes" on youtube and we've gotten to TFA and... guys, was anyone planning on reminding me about leia's characterization in that movie? I JUST HAD TO LISTEN TO LEIA "KILL VADER" ORGANA SAY "THERE IS STILL GOOD IN HIM" ABOUT A FULL BLOWN SITH???

i know he's her son but jesus christ why is LEIA the one believing he can be brought back to the light? AND LUKE IS THE ONE WHO SUPPOSEDLY GAVE UP ON HIM? FUCKING LUKE "THERE IS STILL GOOD IN HIM" SKYWALKER?? AND LEIA IS THE ONE ASKING HAN TO TALK THINGS OUT? PRINCESS WALKING CARPET????

i think it could be REALLY COMPELLING to talk about leia's development between the original and sequel trilogies. i think it could be REALLY INTERESTING to explore her feelings about having a sith lord for a family member and how that changed over her life. she wanted anakin to DIE and yet she's asking for her son to live?? (i know canon doesn't say anything about leia wanting vader to die after she finds out he's her father, but it's in-character enough that i'm willing to consider it canon. also it's just such a cool character vibe that i want it either way.)

i know it's possible for her to be developed in that direction but if so i want to see it. i want to unpack this! i want them to talk about how the leia they've characterized in TFA has thrown herself entirely into the resistance and the hope that finding her idiot brother will fix anything, hating the first order and seeing the danger it presents, and yet she's willing to stay her hand for her son! how does she feel about her son's parallels to the motherfucker who killed her home planet! how does she feel about THE FACT THAT HER SON JUST MURDERED AN ENTIRE SOLAR SYSTEM WHOSE SURVIVORS ARE JUST AS EXILED AS SHE IS!

look, above all else, i'm just sick of female characters who have endless wells of compassion that they are willing to (and always end up) dying for. leia's rebellion (and later her resistance, i suppose, although i maintain that that name is dumb) are her entire life and they are good causes but her faith in them is also a little selfish, because they are hers and they belonged to her true father and she has all of this anger and these are the best outlets. i could understand her being selfish about her son and the leniency she wants to give him that he absolutely does not fucking deserve, but that would require the movies to see this "compassion" as a flaw of leia's and they do NOT and it FRUSTRATES me. leia's not in the right, here! this refusal to see the truth of him kills han!

or, if you don't want to make this a flaw, if you want to parallel it with padme's oh-so-perfect love for anakin (once again, the endless well of compassion that she dies for) and the way luke saves the galaxy by seeing the good in his father, then you need to FUCKING VALIDATE THAT! INSTEAD OF LETTING IT KILL HAN! the continued insistence that there is good in EVERYONE, that there is good in EVEN NOTED CHILD MURDERER DARTH VADER, is a CENTRAL tenet of star wars and it makes NO FUCKING SENSE to make a whole movie that's basically a mashup of every previous sw movie AND YET FUCKING INVALIDATES THAT CENTRAL THEME!! there is good in everyone, everyone is deserving of compassion, people can change, people can do the right thing, EXCEPT FUCKING KYLO REN, WHO KILLS A SOLAR SYSTEM AND THEN HIS FATHER AND HAS NO REGRETS ABOUT IT. but he has temper tantrums about not feeling listened to so it's fine!

look, either you present leia's apparently extremely misguided faith in kyle ron as a character flaw (it's her stubbornness, it's always her stubbornness, this is leia organa and she is always right) OR you make it clear that her faith ISN'T FUCKING MISGUIDED and her faith is character development thirty years after she was ready to murder the last relative who pulled this shit and you don't invalidate a core theme to the central story! you can't do both! what the FUCK, disney focus group who wrote these movies!!!!! what the fuck!!!!!!

[jojotier]

ROSE / AGENT CESTUS

(Dersite spy; currently playing the role of the civilian psychiatrist Dr. Rose-Noelle Dolion, while the understaffing at DIE (the Dersite Intelligence Ensemble) means she has to juggle infiltrating an elite school to get close to Betty Crocker with other spy missions)

JOHN CROCKER : Rose's main target for her main mission in Prospit. After finding out that Betty Crocker would be stepping back and allowing her nephew John to take over CrockerCorp heiress Jane Crocker's education, Rose becomes determined to get close to him- possibly seduce him, if need be- and determine whether he may be an enemy or an ally to Derse's cause in finding and destroying the exiled Batterwitch.

EGBERT [ENDGAME REVEAL] : what the fuck do you mean he's secretly a comedian.

DAVE STRIDER : a mission liability that she doesn't have the heart to report. After faking her own death at age 16 to become a spy, she never expected to see her brother again- yet here Dave is, a recent immigrant to Prospit, working as an artist of all things. It takes a lot of arguing and a sword fight disguised as part of a highly immersive game of 'Spies' Roxy and Dirk make play do for their 6th birthday party, but eventually Dave agrees not to out her real identity as Rose Lalonde, and agrees to pretend to just be a cousin to keep up the ruse. Their truce is uneasy but their relationship is slowly getting better as they come to rely on each other more and more for taking care of the kids.

TURNTECH : a contact of DIE's that Rose occasionally has to funnel information to to continue the narrative of Condy being a coward and possibly already dead. She respects his work, though is wary of the power he holds; after all, a war machine can't be greased without the ink of a good propagandist, and TurnTech was instrumental in stirring anti-HIC sentiments which led to the success of Feferi Peixes' coup against HIC via the use of multimedia projects including art, animation, documentary, mockumentary, radio broadcast and more. Since she's never seen his face and since both use voice changers when speaking to each other, she's yet to realize that TurnTech is actually her brother.

JADE ENGLISH : a friend and civilian which Rose hesitates to get close to. It's not for lack of trying on the kids' part- Roxy and Dirk are insistent upon including Jake in the playdates, leaving Rose with ample time with Jade alone, but she can't help but feel guilty about stringing this little florist along. She may even realize that Jade has feelings for her and want to even try dating- except... she can't. Not when the endgame will be that once the mission is complete, Rose will once again fake her own death again and leave the children to another caregiver. At least Jade or Dave seem like good candidates for that.

DR. HARLEY : TurnTech's propaganda during HIC's reign that Dersite nuclear capabilities are inferior to Prospit's now has backfired, with the rumor that Prospit may have detonated the world's first atom bomb coming during the start of Feferi's reign, riling pro-HIC factions. While finding and eliminating HIC is the highest priority, there is a separate task force dispatched that Rose sometimes assists who are looking for the true Dr. Harley, the nuclear scientist who may have led to the bomb's creation. The original plan was to take them alive; but after finding the island of monsters used as a nuclear waste site, it has been determined that Dr. Harley may be too unstable to keep alive once their research has been recovered. For the sake of the world, Rose is determined to keep this cold war from going Nuclear.

KARKAT: A resource she doesn't necessarily like to use. While the Heiress has stressed the importance of keeping Karkat Vantas safe, especially as his father's preaching has gained an ever-growing faction in formerly-Alternian land, Rose resents both his unsolicited advice and his demand of information in exchange for information. After realizing that he knows the exact identities of Dr. Harley and a whole host of other enemies to Derse, she attempts to threaten Karkat into giving them up, only to immediately have to fight through many of Karkat's friends, some of which are supposed to be Rose's allies. Rose ends up having to admit defeat, though she decides to try a more subtle approach for the information; ends up relying on Karkat genuinely when it comes to taking care of the kids.

KANAYA MARYAM: To Rose's knowledge, she is a simple civilian tailor. She meets Kanaya when having to get the uniforms for Dirk and Roxy tailored and, upon subsequent visits, starts slowly falling for her. Alas, it's a romance that was never meant to be- though Rose might want to pursue her, or allow herself to be pursued by Jade, she is a spy first and foremost, and this is not her real face. As such, she resigns herself to watching in yearning as Kanaya experiences the epic highs and lows of dating a local librarian. But perhaps... in another life.......

AUXILIATRIX: A woman in a moth mask who seems bound and determined to make Rose's life a living hell. After being tasked with defending rogue Prospitian agent Agent Arachnid to keep her alive long enough to leak Prospitian secrets to Eridan Ampora and the rest of DIE, Rose finds herself in a night-long game of cat and mouse with a Prospitian bounty hunter with a chainsaw who, at times, seems more monster than woman. Auxiliatrix is soft-spoken. Beautiful. Quick, dazzling, lethal- always ready to be back with a witty remark or a biting insult as Rose narrowly avoids a blade through the carotid. And yet when Auxiliatrix says, "Perhaps, in another life...." Rose can't help but want to agree.

MISS ARI VRISKA: The local librarian who gets on Rose's nerves, and not just because she can't tell what Kanaya sees in the woman. The kids love her for some fucking reason and it drives Rose up the wall because Ms Vris just. Does not seem to give a shit about her job, at all? Or care to actually take care of any of the books?? She just kind of seems like the kind of woman who peaked in high school and can't let go of it. If there has ever been a moment where Rose almost becomes a suburban PTA soccer mom, it's in the moments when she interacts with Ms Vris.

AGENT ARACHNID: Rose never knew that someone so pathetic and bitey could be so alluring at the same time. Perhaps it's the traumabonding from being chased down by the world's hottest killer or maybe it's the fact that Agent Arachnid can't help but be vulnerable as they both try to wait out the heels clicking on the floor above their heads, but Rose is finding herself developing some deeply inconvenient feelings for this rogue Prospitian agent. Especially since it's doubtful that there will be any more reason to protect her once DIE has all the information it needs.

AGENT GALLOWS: The Prospitian spy handler that Rose has had the displeasure of needing to bargain with via letter. Rose finds her in many ways amusing, certainly, but primarily views her as a nuissance and an obstacle to her mission, as while Prospit wants HIC dead as much as anyone else, they refuse to stop protecting Dr. Harley or the nation's nuclear secrets. Rose respects her, though- after all, both know that in this game, information is king.

TEREZI PYROPE: Rose is like 85% sure this is Agent Gallows, but she literally can't confirm it because it's the kind of shot you don't take unless you're 100% sure. And if she knows Terezi's Agent Gallows there's a high likelihood that every moment where Terezi seems to try and trip Rose up in her own timelines and logic about where she's been on any particular day is a test to see whether Rose is really Agent Cestus. Rose is 100% sure that the only reason why Terezi seems so suddenly interested in Dave is to get to her psychologically, agent or not. Both of them say that they're friends, but there's an underlying game where Rose knows that Terezi knows that Rose knows Terezi knows the stakes of the game. Temporary truces are more common than either would like to admit

FEFERI PEIXES: Rose knows her distantly as the runaway Heiress, and while she and the rest of DIE have faith that her running is likely part of a bigger plan, she doesn't know what that plan is. Occasionally she stands in for Eridan on the 'Princess Recovery Taskforce' side of things.

LADY FISHER: Rose meets her more and more during large parties and knows her as Felicity Fisher, the daughter to the Old Prosperite Money Fisher Family and currently living with her former nanny, Ms. Paint. As they get to know each other, Rose clocks that Lady Fisher isn't all that she seems and that she has animosity towards HIC. As such, she has made it her mission to seduce Lady Fisher, if it means possibly speeding up her main mission. She has yet to clock that 'Lady Fisher' is really Feferi.

ERIDAN AMPORA: She knows him only by name. She's never met Feferi Peixes' second in command personally; only communicating with him via short, truncated telegrams.

MR. ARISTOTLE ANGELO: To Rose's understanding, a petty, mildly traitorous Dersite arms dealer and incredibly suspicious person. She clocks that he seems to have some sort of past and romantic tension with Lady Fisher and becomes determined to get in his way to keep her safe. Things become more complicated when, seemingly out of the blue, Angelo's amorous affections turn from Lady Fisher to Rose herself. Meanwhile in that moment Rose is unknowingly blocking Eridan's attempts to confirm that Lady Fisher is Feferi and helping Feferi without her knowledge, because Eridan doesn't know that Rose is Agent Cestus.

NEPETA LEIJON: Rose knows her vaguely as an artist friend of Dave and Jade's who sometimes plays with the kids when Rose drops them off. Eventually she learns that Terezi is fond of her and, to get back at her for making amorous advances toward Dave to get under her skin, Rose begins to seduce Nepeta. All this does is piss Terezi off because she herself is Actually Crushing on Nepeta and is going through the same mental gymnastics Rose does to justify why she can't pursue a 'civilian'.

AGENT ARSENIC: Rose has only ever seen Agent Arsenic in passing, and only ever long enough for Arsenic to hand her messages from DIE. In those instances Rose has shifted so heavily into work mode that she only barely registers what Agent Arsenic looks like. She has yet to clock that Agent Arsenic is Nepeta.

MR. EQUIS STABLE: She knows vaguely of him because he's Nepeta's best friend. Otherwise, she just knows him as a mechanic and possible love interest of Mr. Angelo's.

CHARON: She's never met Charon directly, but most of her spy tech has been built by him and sent via Arsenic or Karkat.

ARADIA MEGIDO: She knows her vaguely as a friend of Dave's, and she seems relatively close to Nepeta, Lady Fisher and Sollux (whoever that is), so Rose does make an effort to get to know her a bit.

MORTICIAN A: She's heard of her work but initially is skeptical. She can't imagine that anyone would know the human body so intimately as to be able to tell the exact time, place, and cause of a death in under an hour, yet the results simply don't lie. Plans to find out her identity so that she can convince the higher ups to put Mortician A on payroll.

GAMZEE MAKARA: She knows him as Karkat's bodyguard and also just a general layabout. She doesn't have any strong feelings for him one way or the other, though she wishes he would be faster in leaving the room when she's attempting to discuss sensitive information with Karkat.

BARD: A mysterious seller in a clown mask that she occasionally tracks down for his wares. She's considered ripping the mask off, but considering the ready access to firearms and Karkat telling anyone who would listen in uncertain terms that Bard is under his protection, she never goes through with it. Oh well, though. At least now she's got poisons.

TOREADOS: She knows him vaguely as an informant in Prospit on their side. Working with Toreados is more Agent Arsenic's side of things, though, so Rose focuses on her own work.

TAVROS NITRAM: She knows him vaguely as a friend of Jade's, and knows that he has an especial affinity for animals. He's one of the few adults that Jade's dog, Bec, seems to be fond of in any capacity, and the kids trust him, at least.

TA: The hacker and only direct line of communication with Feferi Peixes that DIE knows of. Rose has spoken to him once or twice in a professional capacity but hasn't really talked to him otherwise. She starts talking to him more in an attempt to figure out what Feferi's plan is and how DIE can assist, but TA remains as ornery as ever.

PASTOR: Roxy is a regular of his streams and Rose has had to watch far too many hours of him teabagging people on fortnite. He is Rose's parasocial enemy not because of political reasons, but because he's cringe.

SOLLUX CAPTOR: Who ?

ok. to procrastinate the coding i need to do i'm gonna figure out every single character's overall relationship deal in the spy comedy au. wish me luck

[firelxdykatara]

Why do you think Zuko was out of character when he hired Sparky Sparky Boom Man ? And by the way am I the only who doesn't' have a problem with Zuko's characterization in the first half of book 3 ? I see a lot of people saying that they turned him into a bad boy or he was ooc but wasn't that the point ? Zuko was trying to be someone he wasn't. I don't know maybe i am not seeing something.

Mmmmm ok there are two different things here, and I’ll start by addressing the second: Zuko’s behavior in the first half of book 3.

To that, I will say that I actually don’t have a problem--overall--with his characterization there, because it made sense. As you said, Zuko was trying to force himself to fit into a space he no longer belonged. He was trying to be the Crown Prince his father wanted, he was the prodigal son returneth home triumphant after his defeat of the dastardly Avatar. He had everything he wanted--his honor, his father’s approval (but not, as he would come to realize, his father’s love), even a nice noble girlfriend of whom his father and the nobility at large would approve.

And it was only after he had everything he’d been searching for since his banishment, that he realized he actually had none of it. His honor wasn’t something he could get back from someone else, his father’s approval was conditional on the lie Azula had told him, his girlfriend didn’t understand him (largely because of the changes he’d undergone while banished and later exiled) and probably never would and their relationship was based on nothing but superficial attraction and his sister’s machinations. Nevermind his father’s love, which he never should have had to earn in the first place.

So of course Zuko was angry and emotionally volatile, prone to explosions of anger and frustration because he had no outlet for his pain, no means of conceptualizing why he was so desperately unhappy despite the fact that he finally had everything he’d ever wanted (or so he thought). It wasn’t until he finally had his own self-realization--and came to accept that his father, and his nation, was wrong, to maim a thirteen-year-old boy and to wage a war that brought nothing but pain and destruction to the people of the world--that he was able to look his father in the face and say ‘you were cruel, you harmed me and I did not deserve it, I’m leaving to help the Avatar and you can’t stop me, you have no power over me’, and leave.

(Notably, while he’s still somewhat emotionally volatile with the gaang, he’s considerably happier and healthier with them, because he’s no longer trying to force himself to fit back into a society he had outgrown. Once he becomes the Fire Lord it is within his power to change that society, but while he’s with the gaang he settles for learning the true meaning of fire and helping his new friends save the world.)

However, let me circle back around to one particular point: Combustion Man, and why I think hiring him was very OOC for Zuko, even as he was in the first half of book 3.

Because here’s the thing: the core of Zuko’s character has always been compassion and empathy. That is what got him scarred for life by his own father--it was compassion for his people and empathy for their lives that lead him to speak out during that fateful war meeting, staring down men more than twice his age and demanding they treat their own people better.

Ozai tried to burn away Zuko’s compassion, but, and here’s the critical bit, it didn’t. fucking. work. Because you see Zuko making the compassionate choice, again and again, even in book 1. He cares more about his uncle’s safety than the mission he’s been on for three years, and that is shown in episode seven of book one--so, almost from the beginning, we see that there is something more important to him than capturing the Avatar, and that’s his Uncle. But we also see that Zuko is never fighting to kill, or even maim. Suki’s village burning is an unfortunate side effect of a firebending, well, bending fire around a bunch of flammable buildings, but Zuko is not given to wanton cruelty or destruction for destruction’s sake--he doesn’t stick around to hurt the people who were harboring the avatar any of the times he catches up to the gaang and finds them surrounded by people willing to protect them.

Which, yes, you can absolutely quote katara and talk about the not as big of a jerk as you could have been award, but it’s still important to Zuko’s overall arc and the fact that Zuko is not the primary villain, even in book 1. Because Zhao is right there, being a primo bastard, to the point where Zuko even saves Aang from his clutches--and, sure, you could say that was just because he didn’t what Zhao to be the one who takes the Avatar back, but at the end of it all he didn’t give chase when Aang ran, letting him go and instead returning to his ship.

Then, of course, at the end of book 1, what do we see? Zuko, attempting to save Zhao’s life. This was a man he hated, a man who’d tried to kill him multiple times, a man who was competing with him to try and take the Avatar (and was far more cruel and excessive about his methods), but Zuko still reached out a hand to save him when La snatched him up. He tried to save the life of a man he hated and had no reason to want alive, because he’s a compassionate person and he didn’t want to see even a man he hated die like that. Zhao rejected his hand and ultimately sealed his own fate, but Zuko still tried. And then, of course, he spent book 2 on something of a roller coaster, emotionally and mentally, but he was still compassionate at his core, despite attempts to obfuscate it. He stole Song’s ostrich horse, but he helped Lee and his family, and didn’t lash out when his identity was discovered and he was ultimately rejected. He had such a crisis of conscience when he saved appa that he got sick, something that has been memed to death (especially lately), but it wasn’t because he did one (1) nice thing--because we’ve seen him make compassionate choices already--it was because he did a good thing that also jeopardized his one last chance and getting what he wanted (ie capturing the Avatar and returning home).

Now, obviously, he made the wrong choice at the end of Book 2, despite that experience--because when he freed Appa, getting what he wanted was still a somewhat distant prospect, but Azula was right there holding it out to him on a silver platter. Of course he couldn’t reject it! Even when that meant turning on his Uncle, even when that meant ultimately throwing Katara’s compassion in her face, he had the chance right then and there to just go home, and he needed to take it. (Not only because of his need for closure, but because narratively, he story would’ve felt rushed and incomplete if he didn’t get that chance to go home, have everything he wanted... and realize he didn’t actually want it at all anymore, let alone need it. Having said that, I love a good ‘Zuko joined the gaang at the end of book 2′ fic as much as the next Zuko fan. I just don’t think it would have worked as well in canon [although I still think he should’ve joined the gaang sooner, but that’s a whole other rant].)

What does all of this have to do with Zuko hiring Sparky Sparky Boom Man? It’s simple: I do not believe for one second that Zuko did not feel an immense surge of relief at the thought that Aang might have survived.

Now, obviously, this would have been followed by a surge of terror--because if Aang was alive, and his father found out, then what the fuck would happen to him???--which is why I think it would’ve made much more sense for Zuko to hire a tracker. Or, at least, someone he thought was a tracker. Azula slipping him a name of someone she knows to actually be an assassin, perhaps? Just to pile that guilt on Zuko’s shoulders should he be successful, or simply hedging her bets??? Who knows. But something other than Zuko knowingly hiring an assassin to track down and murder a child. (And all of his friends lmfao since Zuko would know they wouldn’t just let the dude kill him.) Especially when Zuko had never tried to kill anyone, even when he had the chance, in the entire show to that point.

Anyway, yeah, that’s why I think that Zuko’s behavior in the first half of book 3 made sense, and that him hiring an assassin was super ooc and I don’t vibe with it.

[alinaastarkov]

even if sansa was deposed, arya wouldn't become queen. arya's arc is not about queenship, monarchy or politics, and it's kinda sad a "fan" of hers wouldn't see this. the funny thing is that arya has a complete story and and rich arc of her own, she doesn't need to live on sansa's shadow like you wish her to live.

Well, if we’re talking show!verse, who else is there to rule if Sansa was deposed? Seeing as Queen Sansa is show only, I must assume that’s what you’re talking about, so just practically, Arya is the only option. Bran is a king himself, so unless he reabsorbs the North into the seven kingdoms, he’s out. Jon is exiled, a man of the Night’s Watch, and still a bastard to most people. Even if he wasn’t, he would be a Targaryen, so no claim either. My poor baby boi Rickon is f**king dead so he too is out. Arya is then the only Stark left living, with strong ties to the North, a bloody hero in everyone’s eyes with plenty of regard for her people. Purely practically speaking, much like Sansa, Arya would be the only option left. 

Now, speaking of Arya’s arc, she has so many clues and traits that point to her being a queen. As I said, she is always shown to be caring for her people and the smallfolk, she apparently spent years listening to her father’s men talk about all aspects of life running, not just a castle, but an entire region, from the horses to the soldiers and everything in between. She is skilled at sums, running a household, she understands how the world works, even if she hasn’t spent so much time around politics (by which I assume you mean southron politics like Sansa) she gets how things go, she’s creative and smart, managing to take the third option when none is presented. She is learning how to listen, how to lie, how to charm, everything that makes a good leader, queen and politician. Anything she doesn’t already have, she is currently learning. Also, southron politics don’t mean shit cause she is a northerner and would be ruling the north. I don’t remember Sansa ever listening in on any northerners discussing politics or running a castle, do you? You know what, don’t answer that, I’m sure you’ll pull something out of your arse.

I am a real fan, no need for quotation marks. It’s “fans” who insist she has none of these traits that need the air quotes, thank you very much. I don’t know what’s sadder, people still being pressed about a gifset that *surprise* wasn’t meant for you, or being so pressed that you feel the need to send so many anons about it.

Arya does have a complete story and rich arc of her own, one that includes a possible future as some kind of queen due to all of the things I mentioned above, and more. And this is funny coming from the section of the fandom that insists Arya is going to die, live on in Nymeria, and Sansa will then keep her as a pet?? I try to be civil, but that is one of the most disgusting things I have ever heard, and until shit like that stops, I will not hear anything from ya’ll about “living in Sansa’s shadow”. It’s Sansa who has zero queen foreshadowing, and until you are willing to actually accept all the Starks for what they are, rather than ways to prop up your fave, I will not be accepting your description as “Stark fans”. You don’t like the Starks, you like one Stark. Own up to that, or grow up and gain some critical thinking skills. This isn’t pre-school, and I’m not your fucking teacher. You have brains I assume. is it wrong to assume that? probably so fucking use them.

I need a fucking nap.

[iridescentoracle]

Ooooh, interesting! I actually disagree on a couple of those points; I don't think anyone in Doriath ever had the slightest idea where Gondolin was (at least until after both cities had fallen, when it was a moot point) unless you're counting Eol for the like, twelve hours before he died, and he clearly considered himself His Own Thing, not part of the Iathrim proper, so while Nargothrond might have acted as a steam vent I don't think Gondolin did, and while the most discontent might have moved to Nargothrond, I think probably most of even the reluctant Iathim stayed because better the devil you know than the devil you don't, and Nargothrond might have Ulmo's protection but Melian is right there visibly Being The Queen.

On top of both of those there's going to be interpersonal ties—maybe you aren't crazy about Thingol, but your best friend/parent/child/spouse thinks he's a great king actually and absolutely refuses to leave, and even if Nargothrond is safe, that doesn't mean travel back and forth is (or at least that it feels safe, to anyone with trauma from the devastation wreaked by that orc army right before the Noldor showed up), and even if it does feel safe travel is still slow, and correspondence is going to mean relying on someone else to make the trip between cities both ways, so moving to Nargothrond might make it really difficult to maintain interpersonal relationships with anyone who doesn't go with you, and combined with the other factors I feel like that adds up to a lot of people staying in Doriath semi-reluctantly even when there technically is another option.

Then, like I said, you get a new split arising during/after B&L, between anyone who's like "Thingol's actions were acceptable and/or it all worked out so it's water under the bridge now" and anyone who thinks he crossed the line, and probably some of the latter category do move to Nargothrond (RIP, not that the alternative is much better) but there's still all those other factors persuading some to stay in Doriath, and meanwhile the former category might well be among the least welcoming to Dior when he does come into play…

I do agree with you about the charismatic leader aspect, obviously; one of my main concerns about the original post was whether it came off as too critical of Thingol, or any of the various factions I was hypothesizing; for sure all indications are he was a genuinely very good king, on top of being very charismatic, and I really appreciate the glimpses we get of him in "Of Túrin Turambar" because that whole chapter strikes me as Thingol at his best in a way we don't get to see nearly enough of in the Silm, and that's a shame, you know?

And yeah for sure, Lúthien clearly has noooooooo interest in politics at all, and like, love that for her! Her parents are immortal, she has no reason to think Thingol is ever going to die, why would she need to care about politics, her parents will always be around to run the kingdom and she can run around outside keeping the seasons running and everyone's happy (until they're not), but I also think there might have been a period of time (basically up until she met Beren) when if something had happened to Thingol, she might have seen it as her responsibility to take up the role of leader if the Iathrim wanted. I think one of the other places we maybe have differing interpretations is that I think Lúthien is willing to live in exile because she sees her father's actions regarding Beren as crossing several lines, and that although she certainly didn't want Thingol to die, she also… doesn't really want him in her life anymore? I think it's lowkey implied that she would've said "fuck my dad and fuck the Silmaril quest" and made their little safe haven for just the two of them from at least the point she rescued him from Tol-in-Gaurhoth, and IMO she only ever steps foot in Menegroth again after that because Beren thinks it's important to be true to his word (and, frankly, to avoid making a worse enemy of Thingol).

Lúthien indeed was willing to wander in the wild without returning, forgetting house and people and all the glory of the Elf-kingdoms, and for a time Beren was content; but he could not for long forget his oath to return to Menegroth, nor would he withhold Lúthien from Thingol for ever. For he held by the law of Men, deeming it perilous to set at naught the will of the father, save at the last need; and it seemed also to him unfit that one so royal and fair as Lúthien should live always in the woods, as the rude hunters among Men, without home or honour or the fair things which are the delight of the queens of the Eldalie. Therefore after a while he persuaded her, and their footsteps forsook the houseless lands; and he passed into Doriath, leading Lúthien home. […] Even in that dark hour Beren and Lúthien returned, hastening from the west, and the news of their coming went before them like a sound of music borne by the wind into dark houses where men sit sorrowful. They came at last to the gates of Menegroth, and a great host followed them. Then Beren led Lúthien before the throne of Thingol her father[.]

Like, obviously this is up to interpretation, but these two paragraphs, especially the bolded bits, suuuuuper suggest to me that as far as Lúthien is concerned, she has already broken ties with her father and Doriath by extension, and the only reason Beren gets her to return with him is because he's like "look even if we can just stay in a secluded little corner where no one will ever find us, #1 you shouldn't have to #2 "my girlfriend's dad fucking hates me and wants me dead" does not feel like a recipe for a long and happy life, please can we try to talk things out before we actually give up and settle for doing the outlaw thing because i have done the outlaw thing and it kind of sucks"

but yeah, it's never really felt plausible to me that she would've named her son "Thingol's Heir" because I think as far as she was concerned, if her dad wanted her to still care about making him happy, he shouldn't have tried to get her husband killed. I really like your take, though!! It's never occurred to me before and it's actually so much more tragic if Lúthien did make up with Thingol before the end…

Hello! I am here to ask about your Dior headcanons re: the political cohesion of Doriath. 👀

Oh man, I didn't expect anyone to actually take me up on that!

(Okay so I got partway into writing this and then realized I should probably note up front that I tend to stick to the Silm (& LOTR/the Hobbit where applicable, but they... aren't, here) as the most authoritative version of canon, and I can get into why and where the nuances/exceptions are there (I do say tend to stick, it's not hard and fast!), but that's mostly a side note here: the point is simply that I don't really factor other drafts or the poetic Leithian into my take on Doriath, Thingol, Dior, etc, just what we're told in the actual Silm. I also read the Silm as an in-universe history text compiled by in-universe scholars, who, being people, are going to have their own biases and blind spots, even when they're doing their best to be accurate!)

So, this is a two-part thing: #1, there's the political cohesion of Doriath before & at the time of Thingol's death, which i talked about in the tags of the post that prompted this ask but is kind of necessary as context for the Dior part to make sense, and #2, there's the actual Dior headcanons. Both of these parts are very long because I've never really seen anyone else suggest any of this stuff and I want to explain where I'm coming from thoroughly enough that it actually makes sense to people who aren't me, but the TL;DRs:

TL;DR 1: I think Doriath was probably a hot mess politically after Thingol died, with tensions between various groups of Sindar and Laiquendi in the leadup to Thingol's death & Melian's departure, and more political tensions afterwards between those who wanted Beren & Lúthien to come be the new rulers, and those who thought they should stay gone, with someone still in Doriath taking over.

TL;DR 2: I think Dior became Eluchil, potentially at the request of some portion of the Iathrim, hoping to help prevent Doriath from devolving into civil war, and saw dealing with the Silmaril-Fëanorioni situation as a lower priority than stabilizing Doriath's internal political situation until it was too late.

1. The political cohesion (or rather, lack thereof) in Doriath prior to Thingol's death

So, okay, the thing about Doriath is that we don't actually have any real idea of like... how much the Iathrim liked being the Iathrim? We're never told about any intra-Iathrim conflict, but a) the Silm was probably compiled mostly by surviving Gondolindrim or their descendants, so they wouldn't know about anything liike that unless surviving Iathrim told them, and after the Second Kinslaying I don't imagine many Iathrim would've been eager to talk about how things had actually been tense/messy/etc when they could remember everything as having been perfect until it was ruined by the Fëanoriondrim, and doubly so after the Third Kinslaying, so why would anything like that make it into the Silm?

and b) what we do know about Doriath is that it wasn't really Doriath as we know it until Morgoth came back to Middle-earth, and everything went to hell.

At the start of the first age, you suddenly get Doriath (the fenced land!) being the one protected area of a continent that used to be totally free and open. How many Sindar actually didn't particularly care for Thingol's style of leadership, or simply preferred to live nomadic lives, going basically wherever they pleased, until suddenly that wasn't safe anymore, and you were only guaranteed survival if you were close enough to Menegroth to be within the Girdle when it went up? ditto how many Laiquendi had no interest in swearing loyalty to Thingol right after their own king had just been killed, but again, made it to safety and stayed there over taking their chances on their own in the outside world?

I think it's entirely possible that there were always potential political tensions under the surface in Doriath that just... never got written about, because they never boiled over into actual political conflict, and so it was never the sort of tension that had any bearing on the historical record.

Except then Beren & Lúthien happen to the world, and a few years later the Narn, and in the blink of an eye suddenly the only king Doriath has ever had is dead, and the only queen Doriath has ever had is gone and the Girdle with her—and more than that, the only rulers the Sindar had ever had for three thousand years before Doriath existed.

And where a few years earlier I think the Iathrim would probably have turned pretty universally to Lúthien, now she's abandoned them for her human husband—and while she's my favorite character in the entire legendarium hands-down and I don't blame her, I think that's another place there might have actually been some very mixed feelings among the Iathrim that nobody wanted to admit to later because how could anyone have been upset with Lúthien—and on top of her abandoning them for him, I think it's extremely probable most of Doriath did not actually get over their xenophobia about humans in general or Beren in specific when Thingol did (we know for sure at least some of Doriath didn't, cf. Saeros insulting Túrin's mother & sister to his face), but again, who's going to admit to having had a grudge against the holy couple of Middle-earth after the fact, you know?

Conversely, there could've been a sizeable faction of Sindar who had been totally loyal to Thingol until everything happened with Beren & Lúthien, but who found his actions towards them and/or Finrod to be where they drew the line, and while (unlike B&L themselves) that faction stayed in Doriath, there could've been a new, additional tension on that front.

Finally, for all we know there were multiple factions within the Laiquendi of Doriath, with political tensions stretching back to before their king died, rooted in who-even-knows!

2. Dior

All of that, of course, sets up a very, very messy political situation for Dior to walk into.

The Doriath stuff is arguably more speculation than actual headcanon, but here's where the unambiguous headcanons come in: I don't think "Dior Eluchil set himself to raise anew the glory of the kingdom of Doriath." Obviously that's how it got written down, but bluntly, I can't see Beren and Lúthien having a kid that stupid or, like, power-hungry and arrogant?

What I can see is a situation where the messenger that brought word of Thingol's death and Melian's departure asked Beren & Lúthien to come take over as the new king and queen, we promise we're not mad about you leaving and we won't be xenophobic to your husband anymore we swear it's fine now pretty please, Beren & Lúthien said no, and the messenger either asked Dior as a second choice, or said "okay fine none of that was actually true but Doriath is falling apart and we need a leader ASAP and there's about eight different contenders* (mostly kinsmen of Thingol or Laiquendi) being backed by various factions and it's going to devolve into civil war any minute so if you care at all—" and Dior said "would I do?"

(* Ask me about my Galadriel headcanon)

I don't think Dior necessarily wanted to be king of Doriath, and I don't think he saw the throne as his birthright or anything like that; I don't think anyone involved, from Thingol to Lúthien to Dior himself, ever considered the possibility of Thingol dying and needing an heir! I think it's possible he was asked, or at most that he offered, and either way, I think he saw becoming king as taking on a responsibility for the sake of others.

(Which, like, "well here's a potentially impossible task that I'm going to take up even though probably no one thinks I'm actually capable of it, but it's my duty to help others as best I can" sure does sound to me like an attitude one might develop when raised by Lúthien "I kicked Sauron's ass cast a sleep spell on Morgoth and persuaded the Valar to find a loophole in the fabric of reality" Tinuviel and Beren "I stayed by my father's side as an outlaw to give my mother time to lead the rest of our people away hopefully to safety knowing I would never see her or any of them again (and then spent several years being a giant thorn in Morgoth's side for good measure)" Barahirion, where "apparently my grandpa I may or may not have ever met died, guess that makes me the king of a place i may or may not have ever been" does... not.)

I also think he either took on the epithet Eluchil, or was given it by whichever factions of the Iathrim accepted him as king, when he actually became king. Obviously he's going to be referred to as Dior Eluchil even before that in retrospect because that's how he's thought of later, but that doesn't mean it was actually a name he always had, you know?

The final thing is, I think if Dior essentially walked into a political situation five seconds from devolving into civil war, it makes his inaction regarding the Silmaril prior to the Second Kinslaying make more sense: the Fëanorioni have been sitting around doing nothing about the Silmaril in Doriath / with Beren & Lúthien this whole time, the letter saying "hey that's our Silmaril give it back now" is probably just a formality, and Dior's only been ruling for a couple years, there's still plenty of people dubious about whether he should be king at all, he might well be subject to at least some of whatever xenophobia remains about humans in Doriath, and in general all the work he's done on stabilizing the kingdom will absolutely come undone again if he screws up; he's trying to keep a kingdom from falling apart, the Silmaril thing can wait.

Of course, it wasn't a formality, and it couldn't wait, but why would Dior have known that?

[sometipsygnostalgic]

And why should they care? Fuck the planet! I really enjoy the level of selfishness here.

Best Friend Squad, composed of almost entirely selfless people, don't understand why the Super Pal Trio would want to destroy Etheria. The thing is, they don't particularly care about the fate of the world. They just think taking that side is the best way to demonstrate agency!

Catra wants to fight Adora because she thinks this is the only way she can prove Shadow Weaver was wrong, that she isn't worthless without Adora. She was also hurt by Adora leaving. Catra knows that she's hurting Adora and herself but she can't rest til she's won!!!

Entrapta joins the Horde because to be frank she thinks it's the only place she can thrive and have friends, seemingly facing a hard rejection from the Rebellion. She doesn't have family and isn't concerned with protecting her kingdom. Why should she be? Nobody seems to care about her back home. Just don't think too hard about the destruction, focus on the science, and it's all good.

Scorpia literally has no reason to care about being a bad or good guy because she's had no friends or experiences outside of the Horde.

Of course this selfishness causes huge friction - Entrapta is not a reliable friend to Catra, it's Adora flashbacks all over again with Entrapta breaking a promise, becoming the favourite, Catra being the scapegoat and then being protected in a non meaningful way as she's sent to die.

Then Catra CANNOT let her own issues go and returns and gets payback with exiling Entrapta for being an obstacle on her path to beating Adora. Then Catra opens the portal and hard rejects the idea of friendship.

This leaves Scorpia once again alone, unsatisfied and scared for her future, and she decides she needs to break the cycle of abuse - leaving Catra and forcing her to think about what she did, joining the Princesses and learning she CAN have successful friendship experiences, saving Entrapta but not letting her off the hook when it comes to putting tech over people. Scorpia is, like, their conscience. But even then, NONE of them are ultimately motivated by the desire to "do good" - they would probably never accept the same mistreatment Adora faced in the name of being a Good Person.

Entrapta is so funny because she obviously wants Hordak to be a HEALTHIER person (both physically and emotionally), but she doesn't seem particularly invested in him becoming a GOOD person.

She has objectively the most influence over Hordak for a good chunk of seasons two and three and all she does with that power is introduce Hordak to the concept of "failure doesn't make you worthless" and talk him into not killing one of her friends (or more accurately, killing her less directly).

No convincing him not to wage a war that is actively damaging the entire planet. Not even an ATTEMPT. In fact, she makes weapons so he can continue to wage that war except WORSE.

She's like, "I can help himself fix his unhealthy mindset but I will NOT make him stop conquering the planet".