#fuck religious superiority
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A new pop-up store dropped for ALIEN STAGE's 2nd anniversary and wow. It's so sick.
It's Interesting what exactly these experiments are focusing on and monitoring.
Instrument practice
I found it interesting earlier that Till was so tame, more so than he usually is when he's going through experiments, but music, and making music is what he loves doing, So he was fully in his element here. This was probably the only thing he was made to do by the aliens that he at least tolerated.
(Additionally, judging by his collar (orange), he was at least calm. maybe he just isn't fazed anymore.)
//Side note, that head contraption looks familiar BUT this most likely isn't related at least i hope
(It puts me at ease, at least..)
Dance practice
This surprised me, but I suppose Mizi needed more skills.
She looks very startled here, and nervous(?) +It looks like she's doing this while singing. And with that face covering I assume this was a test monitoring her dance balance, precision, etc. At first, I did think it was odd, "Why would Shine put her through that" But alas I was reminded that even though Mizi is the flower of the group she was never untouchable, to Shine, this was the equivalent of teaching your dog to sit and stay.
(seeing this it reminded me of those scenes in movies where the people are dancing, and the music gets faster and faster until they fall. I wonder if she was doing through something similar to that)
Singing practice (?)
Similar to Till she also looks quite calm outwardly, if the machine around her neck is an iteration of the collars they have, then this process wasn't something she liked, or given how intense this experiment looks, this was a test of high-pressure to ensure she always stayed calm during performances (?). Then again this could also be a posture practice given all the structure focused on maintaining her position.
(What I believe was another form of this test was shown before so I think so)
(With her hands in a praying stance I wonder if she was praying to herself or singing a religious song (sweet dream?) It's also interesting that the machinery around her looks like a halo, and she looks so...angelic? holy?)
Image making practice
By image making, I think they made Ivan replicate expressions with his face. Whether this process was painful for him or not...I'm not sure. But it looked visibly uncomfortable, maybe that was the point. (His expression, even in this circumstance is so dubious..)
Ivan, among other things, needed to have a spotless appearance to be successful, his image was a priority given his skills were certainly guaranteed.
I assume the aliens eventually took note of his lack of expression, in the real world this can be a detriment to one's career, so the Aliens had to ensure quality was perfect. (To a more...dedicated level)
Superiority test
'Superiority test' Is very vague.
HyunA is very calm here too, likely sedated in that water with all the tablets on her. I guess this was a test to get an idea of a pet human's strengths and weaknesses, endurance, and temperament to compare and contrast them with others, testing who is more viable for Alien stage?
Another interesting, and sad part about this is that HyunWoo was there, watching his sister through her experiments.
(Also, it looks like both of her legs are normal, no alien leg yet.)
Heart rate variability
And finally, the most visceral of them all. The wording 'variability' makes this all the more sickening, the Aliens were testing his heart hours, testing it at different rates, speeds, and states. And he was in agony the entire time. Even the way he's clutching his chest, it gives me chills. This would've been a completely harmless test in a normal setting, as something quite similar to this can be performed efficiently in real life. But he's being tortured in the process.
This is one of the first times we've ever seen Luka's face so truly clear and unprotected, (understandably so.) He's even crying.
#alien stage#alnst#WHATFRV EHBFUCKKKKKKK#i am devastated#GET TILL OUT OF THERE FUCK#HE DESERVES TO DO WHAT HE LOVES WHEN HE WANTS NOT BECAUSE OF THYEGAUUUUUU#now usually i dont feel bad nor care for luka but seeing this...seeing what heperu did for myself..its more nasty in person#fuck urak fuck heperu fuck phan fuck whatever sua's guardian is#ALL BUT SHINE#GR#hyuna's experiments boggle my brain...what the hell is superiority even supposed to mean....#i dunno#but i guess hyunwoo passed (or is next) its so sad how that baby had to see his sister go through that#explodes#get those babies out of there#sua with religious symbolism is back once again dont be surprised if anakts real child is her#she proved it in sweet dream#alnst till#alnst ivan#alien stage till#alien stage ivan#alien stage sua#alien stage mizi#alnst sua#alnst mizi#alien stage hyuna#alien stage luka#alnst luka#alnst hyuna#alien stage hyunwoo
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If you say "be normal" but what you really mean is "be kind and respectful", maybe ask yourself why.
Trust me, after fucking decades of taking "love others as you love yourself" so very seriously, I can tell you with certainty that being kind and respectful to everyone is not fucking normal. Normal people do not like it when I insist on being kind and respectful to those they deem abnormal. Normal people tell me the "real" way to "love" those they deem abnormal is to "fix" them. Being kind and respectful to those who society at large view as abnormal is not normal.
So why do you say "be normal" when you mean "be kind and respectful"? Maybe there's something to unpack there
#religious trauma#lgbtq#anti normal#pro freak#normal does not equal morally superior#normal isn't kind#again how the fuck do i even tag this?#did osdd#osddid#actually plural#OCD#pocd
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Jesus is such a chill and fun character and his story had some really cool and intense scenes and art and themes (tho it's a bit gory, so I get it's not for everyone) but he got really bad luck with the fandom :[
Like, I get being hiperfixated on something, but that doesn't mean you get to be disrespectful of other fandoms right? And they're so weird about shipping and smut and etc....
Jesus I'm sorry you should be enjoying a thousand fanarts of old man yaoi and some incredible angst fics about your Daddy issues but your fandom is so weird about you and completely ignore cannon for their weird fanon headcannons :[
#tw religion#religious jokes#free my man he deserves to have a tattoo/coffe/flower shop au#the mad ramblings#and the subfandoms formed around one guy's aus....#like man.... I get it okay? sometimes an Au is really really fucking good#but you cant pretend its cannon now???? also its unhealthy to demand of a fan creator like that#you should never put other fans as superior. we're all people and we gotta treat each other as people#or else we get some unhealthy dinamics and inflated egos and thats just not fun :/#also sometimes the canon series have really bad or confusing writing. which is normal!!! it has like a ton of different writers!!!!!!#but people interpret it in one (normally farfetched) way and will attack you if you dont agree with them!!#ughhhh.... Jesus really would be my comfort character if his fandom didnt suck :[ I gotta turn him into an oc or something#[[woah real Rat here! Tell me if this needs more TWs]]#unreality#[[oh btw lemme clear something up 'other fandoms' <-im talking about furries 'random guy au' <-im talking about mormons]]
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if you’re an atheist who spends their day telling religious people they’re lesser somehow for being religious, I hate you and I hope you have a horrible day.
#g talks#do atheists who mind their business exist#like I’m trying to hold out hope#but every atheist I come across is an arrogant prick#who thinks it’s their sole purpose to be mean to religious people#who literally aren’t even in oppressive religions#or are practicing but don’t go to a church/they’re just independently doing their own thing#not harming anyone at all#and I’m so fucking sick of it#you’re not morally superior#and actually you’re a dick if you act like that#because arrogance and cruelty are still fucked without god’s existence#and if you were morally superior you wouldn’t even fucking interact or engage#yet here we are#jumblr#antisemitism#mine#/mobile#/okay to reblog
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sometimes I'm like "gosh you know maybe the feral, unhinged, deeply weird blorbo feels I have for Holland March/Jackson Healy will fade" and then I see even a short clip of the movie and I'm climbing the walls of my enclosure, gnashing my teeth, experiencing symptoms of the stigmata
#the nice guys#marchly#it's a good movie for everyone else for me it's a religious experience#literally. what the fuck. is wrong with me. you don't even understand. I've recc'd this movie to my PARENTS#who WATCHED it. and LOVED IT. and THEY will make jokes abt it with me. like I will stand by it as a superior Film#even without the shipping. it's just a good fuckin movie#but. watching it with ur third bisexual eye open and perceiving the secret truth really does add a lot to the experience. just sayin'
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scrubbing everything clean about *that country* because i don't know if this'll escalate with the new cabinet. i'll still be writing and posting on that platform whenever i can, but now more than ever, i won't be able to talk about important news from *that country.* anyway, fuck conservatism, fuck that government, and fuck religious superiority. everything is an allegory for everything.
#it's funny at first given how fucked *the country* is#but there are serious implications bc *the country* is NOT queer friendly at all towards its ppl#and the literacy rate is already so low#and there's also the ppl's lax attitudes about corruption and their stubborn religious superiority#there's only so much you can hope for from near desolation#i really really hope that banning is as far as they'll go#as fucked as this sounds i hope it stays at *just* censorship and nothing more#uh happy pride month i guess
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I am still not over the fact that apparently I (and probably other Germans too) have this magical sense that whenever I enter an Aldi anywhere in the world I can immediately sense whether it's Aldi Nord or Aldi Süd. Or in other words the fact that their main difference apparently tracks across the globe. That being that when you enter an Aldi Nord it's cold and grey. The people here have endured many hardships. They manage and they keep their heads up. But you can see their struggle in their faces. A baby is crying near the freezers. Vs the Aldi Süd experience which is you enter and suddenly it's like a ray of warm sunshine has hits your face. You can hear babies laughing. People smiling. They are carrying oranges and mangoes. They live a life of luxury and they don't even know how good they have it.
It is important to note that I could not tell the difference between the logos if you put a gun to my head. I rarely shop there. I don't know the differences in the products they offer. They look identical to me. The vibes are just so different that so far every single time I've entered an Aldi in a different country I have been able to correctly guess which one it is.
#it should also be noted that the average Lidl is still far superior to even Aldi Süd.#but yeah when I was in Budapest last summer my friend wanted to go to Aldi real bad so we went there instead of Tesco#which is where I wanted to go but she was like 'we don't have it in czech republic' and I was like sure ok#anyways I enter this fucking aldi and it's like I'm fucking TRANSFORMED. It was almost a religious experience lol
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banana fish opening still fucks
#god the brainrot this series gave me#i had a sideblog for it#and i made gifs religiously every week#but i read the manga first and it will always remain superior for me#even though it made me mentally unwell <3#the anime was so good tho... fuck i miss it so much#it was so fun thinking about it 24/7#you guys know how much i like painful stories afjksjvks#k.txt
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trying to find the best version of jcs to listen to bc i have OPINIONS
#trying to find the version where i like every singer is so fucking difficult#i think i might like the movie soundtrack the best#jesus christ superstar#jcs#i kind of like the og too but carl anderson’s version of heaven on their minds is superior imo#yes i’m getting into a lot of religious musicals#it has nothing to do with religious trauma (i think)
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omg I saw you’re going to be a teacher??? I’m a teacher too n I’ve always been ashamed of writing smut because like it would be frowned upon by my work 😭 but I’m glad there are other people who are also teachers on here 🫶
yes!! i’m finishing my associates in english next semester and then i will be joining a uni to get my bachelors in english and minor in history and join the teaching program. so i’d hopefully graduate in 2028??? and i’ll be getting a late start compared to others (i’ll be 26), but bff said it might be in my favor as i’d be more mature and smskksksks have ten years seniority over the kids i’m teaching
BUT!!!! writing smut!!!! okay so: they can’t tell you what to do outside of contract hours. they literally can’t. teachers are supposed to be moral authorities while school is in session; examples to the kids about how to behave and interact. teachers teach more than their chosen subjects after all!!! but outside of school??? they can’t tell you what to do. they can’t tell you that wearing fucking jeans or keeping your nose ring in is unprofessional and you have to dress in business casual outside of school hours, they can’t tell you to cover your tattoo, to not go out with friends and drink. they can’t!! they also can’t tell you not to write smut. and there are so many worse things a teacher could be doing with their free time. like it may be frowned upon, but it’s definitely not the fucking worst thing a teacher could be doing. i think, as with all things in a teacher’s personal life, it should be kept separate. for obvious reasons of teachers being with minors, but also bc it’s your personal business and students take up so much of your life already. but ultimately if a person wants to express themselves through writing smut, that’s their freedom!!
and if parents are disturbed by the idea of a teacher writing smut then they shouldn’t go prying into teacher’s lives. they could learn that the person teaching their child economics likes to be chained to her bed and called puppy. (which is also!! her fucking freedom!!)
#sorry this turned into a rant#but i think outside of contract hours teacher should do whatever the fuck they want#as long as they’re not actively like idk#teachers aren’t figures of moral superiority#if they wanted teachers like that they should enroll their kids in a religious school#ask#anon#katie: talks
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I feel like this current wave of fundamentalist-christian-inspired transphobia is so different from the largely fundie/evangelical transphobia I was raised under, and honestly, it’s a lot more insidious. My religious and transphobia-based trauma were Bad, and a Major part of my development of trauma disorders, but it’s only become so much worse now that fundie “parents” are doubling down on the psychological torture element.
“Gender is eternal” “‘Trans people’ don’t exist” These weren’t sayings when I was young and being abused, and this wasn’t even that long ago. Gender has always been viewed as a purely worldly, almost material thing, which I assumed protestants as a Whole were supposed to care nil for. And “trans people” have always been viewed as “people who go out and trans their genders,” and the consensus on that was always “If you grow up and trans your gender, I’ll hate you and the church will hate you and I’ll cut you off and god will never let you into heaven.”
I believe this new wave of fundamentalist transphobia serves to read less as “Don’t become one of those scary/gross/weird transgenders or we’ll all hate you” and rather doubles down on telling transgender kids “You’ll never be who you say you are; I’ll still hate you if you Trans Your Gender but just know you’ll never be good enough in my eyes or in the eyes of god”
And I honestly believe the point of this new flavor of transphobia is to kill trans kids faster, symbolically or physically, whichever comes first.
#fundies are fuckin monsters#I hope the people raised under this new fucked up outlook are able to heal#just know that your superiors are intentionally acting out because they want to do as much damage as possible#ex fundamentalist#ex fundie#ex evangelical#religious trauma#nic speaks#transphobia cw#christianity mention
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Me and the Devil (walking side by side)
youtube
I think the irony of deconverting is that the Devil has cradled my broken spirit in ways that God never could.
#my anxiety decreased substantially since deconverting#christianity is a fucking scam#christianity is a cult#life as a heathen is far superior to that of a christian#me and the devil#walking side by side#religious trauma
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ok, I very much understand not being religious, not agreeing with many aspects of certain religions, even being hurt by religion in the past. but you cannot just take something that millions of humans have believed in for centuries and call them all patently stupid and ridiculous for believing it in the first place. you're not "looking at the facts", you're just putting down a group of people for being different than you.
#like. man. i don't really totally like christianity as a whole either#but calling everyone who believes in hell straight up stupid because it's not scientifically provable?#yes there are con artists who use depictions of hell to get people to follow them and even give them money or other awful things#but you cannot just say 'so Everyone who says hell is real is fucking dumb' because of those few bad apples#especially when you use your own religious beliefs (or lack thereof) as a justification#you do not know everything. you do not have the last word on fact vs fiction; on right vs wrong.#saying 'i don't believe this so it's stupid' is just showing off how you think you're superior to everyone else
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High anxiety day today and nobody knows why!!
#probably because I have to work again on tuesday#haha#idk man everything regarding my work is so exhausting right now#especially because we're closing by the end of the year#despite our superiors telling us mere weeks ago that 'nooo thats not decided at all and we're not planning to do that'#love that fake transparency thanks for that losers#really love how the ground is pulled away from under my feet time and time again#whenever I have finally managed to get a grip#like listen.#im not really religious but if theres IS any sort of god#he really said 'fuck that gurl in particular'#i mean I know that Im relatively well off and that things could be much much worse#but everythings so difficult all the time and I hate it
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#legit so many of the posts that get popular on here show me that the userbase hasn't really like critically developed since the 2010s#it's a bit concerning tbh becaude this is the website of superiority over other socials when like. the misinformation model was BORN HERE#there's no reason for me to post this and i'm gonna delete it later but it's legitimately alarming to be surrounded by a userbase convinced#that they're the only intelligent life on the internet... when so many people actively make more effort to be comfortable than to learn#it's not good y'all. it's not good#delete later#there are so many posts i see that are REALLY uh... anti-intellectual assertions that this website just eats up fucking fork and knife#like a lot of people here are dead set on staying within their ignorance and placating their own egos from that space. and they enable e/o#insisting on constant comfort and goodness is a display of privilege and it's a really ugly one that can't even empathize.#inb4 curate your dash I DO RELIGIOUSLY FOR 10 YRS THAT'S WHY I'M MENTIONING THIS AS A PROBLEM
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Codependency (Ive Yujin)
On one side, there’s a mansion worthy portrait of you on the wall. On the other, wards and recognitions from numerous governing bodies with your name plastered in remembrance. The public knows more about the brand than the people behind it; that’s how business works. Unless your name happens to be Musk, Bezos, or Zuckerberg.
You’re nowhere near their level of wealth and influence—far from it—yet this entire building’s future rests on your shoulders. It’s not as easy as it looks.
You’ve always credited your guardian angel for keeping you from harm your entire life. It sounds religious, but from personal experience, it’s real.
She’s guiding you from the secluded corner of your office.
—————
“And that’s how we’ll proceed with operations moving forward,” you say to the executives in the room—except they're not physically there. Their faces are projected on screen, joining from different countries, with some even joining from home. To be quite frank, you understand very little about your own presentation, and had your acting not been Oscar-worthy, there’s more that would appear absurd than believable. “Do we have any questions?”
For the most part, the top brass appear to be in unanimous agreement with everything that has been laid out. Not a single question, complaint, or rebuttal from anyone.
“Well done, officer. You seem to have a complete grasp and understanding of the situation,” says one of the chiefs, his ripe old age showing through his slow, strained tone.
Another suit, much closer to your age—albeit barely (he’s in his mid-forties)—adds, “We expect an immediate turnaround, otherwise we may have to cut even more of our divisions off. Should this plan fail, we anticipate closure of even more of our departments, including yours.”
It’s not the most concerning thing you’ve heard this week, but it’s definitely up there–at least top three.
Nevertheless, you remain firm and bow to your superiors as you end the meeting. “Thank you sirs. We will do our best.”
As soon as the video call ends, you let out this deep sigh of relief that’s been repressed the entire time. Thank goodness you have an entire building floor and private office to yourself.
“Well fuck me,” you mutter, seemingly speaking to the void, taking all the deep breaths you need, wiping the sweat across your head with some tissue. “Tell me I followed through on everything, right?”
“Yeah. Apart from mixing a few things, you mostly got it.” Yujin’s voice emerges from the far end of the room, covered in darkness, away from anyone’s view. The papers on your desk aren’t actually documents or paperwork. In reality, they’re pages of a manuscript with a few instructional, handwritten notes attached. It’s not even your own writing; they’re curated by none other than Yujin herself. “I’d say I wouldn’t have noticed, even if they were a little too obvious at times.”
“These conferences are fucking tiresome. Nauseating even,” you reply. Yujin opens up the blinds, and you stagger away from the immediate sunlight piercing through the room. Simply put, you just want to throw up after yapping all that incomprehensible jargon. “You know what—why don’t we switch places next time? I think you’d be better at this than me, like you already are with everything.”
An unusual comment for the director to make to his assistant, but it’s true. Yujin is so good in every department that it’s borderline farcical. She’s incredibly reliable to the point where you’ve basically deferred nearly every task to her, leaving you with the most boring parts of your job, which mostly comprises of company meetings and private calls. She’s a relatively new hire, having worked in your department for a little over a year, yet her rise up the ranks has been nothing short of absurd.
“Please, let’s not get carried away,” she softly laughs, flashing a lovely smile you never grow tired of seeing—and you see her as soon as you walk into the building till you clock out. “I’m fine with the research and paperwork. Regardless of what you want to believe, I think you sold it well.”
You slump back in your chair, somewhat bothered at just how unbothered Yujin is. How she’s able to take all your responsibilities that you should be doing, and without protest. One look at her features tells you all you need to know: that she’s happy to work for you. She could easily be in your position right now, putting you through this exact hell. She could be on that screen making those very threats on your job, in fact. Instead, she prefers to be your subordinate.
If that wasn’t enough of an example, she’s gathering the papers on your desk, putting them back together, good as new. Then she brings you a cup of water from the dispenser. She’s enumerating a list of other, just as unintelligible things that may or may not be important to your discussion earlier. Meanwhile, you’ve been sitting in that chair, your thoughts wandering aimlessly, thinking about anything that isn’t work. It’s almost noon, yet your mind just wants to check out for the rest of the day.
“Um—sir? You okay?” Yujin waves a hand right in your face, snapping you from your tired daze.
You tilt up to her gaze, eyes weary. “Yeah. I’m just—tired.”
“Do you want me to leave? I’ll go and sort out the upper management on your behalf if you’re not feeling well.”
“Don’t.” You rise from your seat, telling her, “I’ll take care of it. Go and have lunch,” as you point at your wristwatch, both hands closely pointed at the top.
“You sure? You should go have lunch too,” she replies, showing an alarming amount of concern that it’s almost comical. “Don’t worry about me.”
Shaking your head, you respond, flashing a light grin to reassure her, “I can talk to them at any time. T your break. I’ll call you when I need anything.”
—————
Truth be told, you didn’t want to see her for the rest of the day, let alone seek her help.
Yujin is only one call away. After all, she’s your assistant, down to working right outside your office. She’s working on whatever nonsense you’ve assigned her, showing no signs of slowing down. Meanwhile, you can barely call today productive; you’ve only completed two pages of a draft for next week’s presentation. In the time spent between slowly chopping away and stalking her from behind the door, her pretty profile a sight for sore eyes, she’s probably completed this week’s assignments and halfway through the next. She’s that efficient.
Hours pass, until the day finally ends at five. At exactly the top of the hour, she lets herself into your office, her pleasant attitude still in full bloom. “Already completed all the tasks for today. How about you?”
Yujin is not even trying to gloat—not in the slightest—yet it sounds like a punch to the gut. You can only slam your chin flat on the desk in despair, shooting a tired glare at her. She tries to muffle her chuckle, trying to keep herself professional, not realizing you’ve already seen through her facade.
“You want me to help you out? I don’t mind working an hour longer if you need it.” She’s peeking her head over the laptop display, examining for the proof of concept—or lack thereof. “Didn’t I tell you to leave this five plan strategy to me?”
This amount of confidence should leave you battered and deflated. And yet, there’s a sense of relief knowing Yujin will get the job done no matter what you ask of her. It’s enough to turn that frown into a faint, encouraging grin.
“I guess so,” you tell her, putting down the screen. Getting up from your chair, you close the window blinds and block out the setting sun. “Maybe I’m just tired of deferring all my responsibilities to you, that’s all.”
Her smile looks innocent, demure even, it doesn’t make sense as to how irrevocably kind she is to you. As far as you know, your employees consider you as shrewd and as scummy as your superiors. Forget that you’ve been working here longer; they consider everyone that isn’t their fellow rank a corporate dirtbag who’d step over others the first opportunity they can. It’s a vicious cycle. To have someone like Yujin feels like an anomaly.
“Don’t worry about it, that’s why I’m getting paid right?” she answers back, pressing her palms on your desk. “Just do what you can and I’ll handle the rest.”
You’re pouring an espresso into a cup, before offering the drink to her. “We should talk, Yujin,” you say, filling up a separate glass with your own. Your fourth shot. “You got a minute or two?”
“Sure. I always have time for you.” Yujin sits up, taking the drink into her hand, crossing her leg. It’s nearly impossible to look anywhere else but on them. As if she couldn’t be any more perfect, in mind, character, and body. “Is there anything bothering you lately?”
Sitting across her with only a desk separating you, the words never come out. You’ve got plenty on your mind: the messy state of your department, the unreasonable expectations and demands of your superiors, the possibility of losing your job—and Yujin. She’s sitting right there, ready to hear you out, but you never find the conviction to confess your worries. The next few minutes are awkward silence, only broken by the occasional stir of teaspoon and the sip of coffee. It isn’t that she renders you speechless, though one would fairly assume as to why: she’s pleasant to look at, among other things. It also helps that her outfits have been getting skimpier over the past few weeks. Unsurprisingly, you let the flagrant violation of the dress code go unpunished.
“Sir? Is everything okay?” Yujin leans her head forward, noticing that you’re lost in thought. She places her cup on the desk. “What’s wrong?”
Your eyebrows instinctively rise. That glimmer of hope you showed moments ago disappears. What’s left is despair. “I think we might be fucked, Yujin.”
“Fucked? What do you mean by that?”
“We’re fucked. Like, we could be out of a job fucked.”
“Explain?” Yujin cannot comprehend it—then again, anyone else would react the same way. “Didn’t we give the board a five step plan earlier today?”
“We did,” you reply, finally mustering the strength to meet her eyes. “But here’s the thing: we don’t have the financial or human capacity to execute the plan. At least, in the time they demanded.”
“And? We did the research and even the hypotheticals!” You’ve never heard Yujin raise her voice even once—until now. “What could go wrong exactly?”
“They think we can course correct years worth of bad financial decisions in just a few months. That’s the problem. Either way, we’re fucked.”
“I don’t believe you.” Yujin forcefully rises from her seat, threatening to flip the desk. If she only had the strength. “After all the time I spent working on it, you want to wave the white flag and give up?”
You don’t really know how to answer her. At least, in a way that’s remotely graceful and easy to understand.
“I’m sorry, Yuj, but no matter what—”
“I’m trying—so fucking hard—” she huffs, her fist clenching, trembling violently— “to carry your fucking ass so that we could keep our livelihoods. And not just me or you, but also the hundreds working for us! I know you fucking hate their guts because they’ve said nothing but terrible things about you, and even if none of that is true because I know you better than anyone else in this fucking building, at least have the decency to salvage whatever’s left instead of being a fucking coward for once!”
Yujin doesn’t notice that she’s been outright screaming into your face. You’re taken aback, utterly in disbelief at what she just aired out. If she wasn’t kindness incarnate, she likely would have pulled you by the shirt and choked you till you passed out. She blinks. The realization hits, and she begins to crumble.
“Sorry” is the only thing she can say, in quiet mumbles, slowly falling back onto her chair. Her hands cover the lower half of her face, completely mortified. Her eyes are on the verge of tears before giving out and crying waterfalls. Eventually, she lowers her head out of shame.
Even before entrusting her with such a demanding assignment, you knew there was nothing other than divine intervention that could save your job. This wasn’t what you signed up for, and neither did Yujin. For the most part, this was only to save face. Your face. The board of directors didn’t have any objections after all, and were mostly agreeable with every step of the plan. Either that or their old age is catching up and they hardly understood a thing at all. Like you.
Nevertheless, it doesn’t excuse you from criticism. This is on you, and you should be held accountable. Instead of rightfully performing your part, you weighed down someone else with your burden. It’s the wake-up call you need.
Yujin shouldn’t feel guilty saying all of this and having to apologize. She’s crying on your desk, still softly apologizing between tears, “Sorry—I’m really sorry—” and your heart fucking drops.
It’s a terrible feeling.
“Yuj, please stop crying,” you mutter, caressing her shoulder. Seeing her look so defeated brings you more distress than anything, including the thought of losing your job. “I should be the one apologizing for putting you through all this. You’re right—”
“I’m so sorry.” She’s still asking for forgiveness, your words mostly going unnoticed. “I just wanted to—”
“You’re right, Yuj. I’m a coward. I’ll admit, I honestly wanted to resign the moment they brought this up. If they couldn’t do a damn thing about it, how else would I know? Seeing you figure out a way made me realize just how much I depend on you to save my ass. I should be the one saying sorry, not you Goddammit, Yuj. What would I do without you, honestly—”
She tilts her head up, her sniffling and sobbing unceasing, resting her head on your chest. “I’m sorry. What I said is still out of pocket and I wasn’t in the position to say—”
“Shush, Yuj. Stop apologizing for being right,” you reply, brushing her hair. “Look. We’ll go forward with your plan. You can write up the whole thing and I’ll present it your way. I won’t muck up in front of the directors, okay? Don’t worry about it. I’m not gonna quit.”
“Really?” She lifts up her eyes, doe-looking and glimmering.
“Yeah. Might as well go down with a sinking ship, so please stop crying,” you say, smiling. “You made me feel like shit and I don’t like it.”
Yujin laughs. Heartily.
—————
Even though that should havd been enough to appease Yujin, in your eyes, it wasn’t. You had to make it up to her in other ways.
“This place serves really good food,” you tell Yujin, digesting the sights and scents of the relatively small eatery. Meanwhile, Yujin sits beside you, eating to heart’s content without a care. “I can see why you love it.”
“How’d you know this was my favorite place to drop by after work?” she asks, chomping down on the last stick of her barbecue.
“I have my sources,��� you tell her, playfully grinning, unwilling to admit that you’ve been watching from behind your car’s windows for some time now.
“Don’t tell me it’s Wonyoung, boss.” Yujin pouts, flustered and embarrassed. “I swear to God, I can’t trust anything with—”
“It isn’t her, don’t worry,” you chuckle, amused at her red-faced look.
“I really appreciate the offer,” she remarks, finishing the remaining half of her drink. “You shouldn’t have.”
“Hey, it’s the least I can do for my hardworking assistant,” you reply, gesturing to the lone cook for the bill. The charges go up to the hundreds, with most orders belonging to her. While she’s chomping away at the end of a large meal, you secretly foot it on her behalf. How she maintains her figure while consuming this much food, you’ll never know. And when she calls for the tab, she’s told that it has already been paid in full.
“Now you’re just being extra,” she says, facing you, looking insulted by the kind gesture, but in a playful way. Appreciative regardless. “I already told you we’ll pay for what we each ordered.”
Looking at the stack of empty plates on her side—when compared to yours—some part of you believes that to be false. You don’t even have to say anything for her to realize she’s not one to fulfill her own word either.
“Okay—I would have paid 25 percent.”
You can’t place any blame on her. She laughs—at herself. She’s so charming, a pleasure to watch, that you would let her slide, had this not been your intention right from the start.
“Stop.”
You end up laughing with her too.
—————
“Seriously. Don’t lie, you promise you won’t just suddenly quit on us?” Yujin asks, staring at you as you walk toward your parked vehicles outside the eatery. “This feels like a way to soften the blow.”
Both of you stop right in front of your cars. “Not at all,” you tell her, staring directly into her eyes. “What else do I have to do to prove that I’m not quitting?”
“I don’t know, sir. I mean—you, suddenly asking me to eat out—” she rolls her eyes away, skeptical— “You’ve never done that.”
The cold nighttime air sweeps all over you. Chilly, you rub your arms together, partially regretting the decision to cover Yujin with your coat. She’s relatively unfazed, warm in your garment; even more surprisingly, it fits her perfectly like a glove.
“I wouldn’t leave if it means I lose you, Yujin.”
It’s not the words you wanted to say. Every part of that sentence leaves your lips effortlessly. A little too effortless.It’s an unconfessed confession, waiting for the right moment to be spoken. Sure, she may interpret it as merely you being codependent on her when it comes to work, but there’s no way there isn’t some kind of other, deeper meaning behind them.
“Lose me? What does that mean?” She asks, even more curious. Of course, Yujin isn’t the brain of your operations for nothing. It isn’t surprising when she figures you out. “You like me, don’t you?”
Just like that, the tables have turned. You can’t deny your feelings any longer.
You gently nod. Perhaps the killing blow could be softer if you find closure, right here, right now.
She leans forward, both of you unable to do anything other than to stare into each other’s deep, longing eyes. The tension between you is the only source of heat in the midst of a cold, lonely night.
By all accounts, the relationship between you and Yujin is strictly professional. Apart from a few trips abroad, you keep all conversations business related. Mind-numbing, confusing agency jargon. It’s a helpful practice in keeping your space; no matter how attractive she may look and saccharine she may sound, no amount of pleasantry can make company discussion remotely close to entertaining. You’d rather play with the blinds in your office. She’s doing her part too: clock in at nine, clock out at five on the dot. It’s a healthy routine. After hour talks between you are rare. It’s common practice to maintain a firm working relationship. It’s also just common sense. Good organization begins at the top.
Moments like these are strong reminders on why you avoid crossing that line. Yet you don’t stop—not when she’s the one making the first move.
You kiss. Your lips stay a little longer than they should. The taste lingers.
You find solace in each other's warmth, in a comforting embrace. She rests her head on your chest, her hands gripping into your shirt tightly. Deep down, you both recognize you’re on borrowed time. Whether through your promotion or your release, you won’t be together for much long. Countless hours spent together, so many occasions—the opportunities are being handed to you on a silver platter, only for you not to take the chance.
Not anymore. You won’t make the same mistake again.
—————
Driving her home was easy; finding your way into your room was half the battle.
“It took us this long to share a room, huh?” Yujin huffs against your face, finding and capturing your lips even in an erratic, volatile environment. She’s pushing you against the wall, her palms having an iron grip on your cheeks, pulling you close and wildly kissing you. The entire trip up to your apartment floor has been nothing but shaky kisses and clothes slowly scattering from the elevator to your front door.
“We should have done this a long time ago,” you manage to mutter, holding her face away for a brief respite to answer, only to be forced back in once again. Any semblance of professionalism between you is abandoned for fiery, passionate lovemaking, future relationships be damned.
The most surprising thing is how it isn’t as messy as it may look. See, despite the bite marks on your skin, the wrinkles in your clothes, and the rather loud, unceremonious manner you enter your apartment, you’re still in the process slowly unraveling. There’s a conscious effort to make sure neither side comes out completely in ruins. A silent agreement between you.
Her hands lay claim to your shirt, threatening to tear you apart if you don’t do the same to her. She lifts her head when you quickly peel through her long skirt; you dive in and make it yours. The crack in her voice as she mewls tickles your ears just right. Slowly spreading her legs wide, pulling the panties down her well defined thighs. In response, she tugs at your shirt, popping a few buttons loose. It isn’t as easy as it looks to have Yujin pinned against the wall; she’s actively fighting, trying to seize back control. If she can’t have her way with you, at the very least she can rein you in. Only now do you realize the danger your little escapede.
With her slender legs wrapped around your waist, you can only do so much. Yujin can’t stop kissing you, leading your gaze to anywhere but her pretty, lust-ridden expressions. She wants this more than you do. Against your desires, you end up in the kitchen, propping her on the bar counter as lipstick covers your entire face. The brief respite when she catches her breath gives you ample time to unbutton the rest of your shirt before tossing it aside—something you don’t give her the decency to finish.
While she’s still staggering, lost in her own thoughts, you take her by the shoulder and leave a fresh mark on her neck. A distraction. More importantly, your fingers feel their way around the back of her dress, find the touch of metal—and yank. The zipper follows, the lengthy garment gradually coming undone, until Yujin pushes the rest of it off her shoulders and to the floor. Your eyes gleam like starlight as her bra reveals itself, taking countless mental snapshots at that moment.
Not even her attempts to redirect your attention can pull you away.
You push her down on the marble surface. The bar is big enough to fit you both. Joining her atop the counter, your gaze wanders down her divine figure—and you don’t know where to start. Everything about Yujin is designed to be as perfect as humanly possible. No one should be flawless.
“How can you be any more perfect, Yuj,” you mutter, eyes roaming everywhere, soaking in the immaculate sight before you. “How did I not want you any sooner?”
Yujin’s hand traces down your arm. “You could have just asked. My previous employers did. It was a regular part of the job for me.”
You’re shaking your head. Imagine that—an employer taking advantage of their employee offering themselves without any restraint. You would never—except you already did. Your previous assistant can vouch.
“Don’t feel sorry. I want this just as much as you do,” she adds, pulling you towards her face for a soft kiss, clearing all doubt. “Besides, you’re not that much different from any of them. Why stop now?”
“Not that different? Were they just as codependent on you as I am?”
Nodding in agreement, she laughs.
“God fucking dammit.”
You sigh. Yujin continues laughing. What a momentum killer. And the worst part is, it’s self-inflicted and completely avoidable. You should have just kept going, kept her speechless.
Still, it’s not the end of the world. You’re on top of Yujin; she has no intention of leaving you anytime soon. Most importantly, she’s unhooking her bra while you’re caught up in your feelings. “But—there’s one difference: I actually love working for you. I wouldn’t mind letting you use me.”
“You love working for me? Why?”
She’s biting her lip, grabbing you by the back of your head. “You’ll find out yourself. You know what to do.”
“What? How?” The word comes out panicked, desperate.
Yujin shakes her head, the smirk on her lips twisting, wicked. “You know how.”
At first, finding what she means proves to be a struggle. After all, Yujin’s not the mysterious type. She always tells you everything straight, condenses complex conversations into digestible servings for easy consumption. It’s not in her character. Yet, one look at what’s in front of you—her naked frame casually lying beneath yours, her hands running all over your bare self—the realization hits you like lightning, and you’re mentally punching yourself for being so dangerously oblivious.
You kiss her on the lips again. You can’t get enough. You’d happily stay in this position all night long. Except that isn’t what she wants. She wants you to go further.
So you sink further and further down. The closer you get, the more she opens up. A sloppy trail follows your lips, from her chin, to her collarbones, to her chest and navel, and everything else in between. She’s soft to the touch, so flexible and malleable—every part of her, you make yours. Then you get to her core, her inner thighs spreading, and watch as it unravels before you, quivering, soaked, needy. You look into each other’s eyes, hers anticipating. There’s a craze behind your irises, as if some repressed need is crawling back to the surface. It’s slowly driving you wild.
Your name drips on the edge of Yujin’s mouth—a sign of impatience—before suddenly cracking at the point of impact. She rolls her head back, her voice reduced to an airy sigh as your tongue licks up her slit, her entrance, in a slow upward motion. It takes every ounce of your willpower not to devolve into a hungry, primal mess. Her thighs close in and clamp you down, suffocating you while you become more familiar with the sensation and taste of her dripping cunt.
If only you could hear the full extent of her moans, turning a pitch higher with each passing swipe and slurp. You’re humming into her core, satiated and fulfilled with the taste of her slick in your mouth. Yujin’s hands stretch out for help, for stability as pleasure gradually overwhelms her. Propped underneath her thighs, your hands dig under to reach places that your tongue can’t. She grows erratics, restless, moved by your presence inside her.
“Fuck!” The profanity escapes her lips instinctually, like it’s always been a part of her. She’s writhing, jaw slack, her back arched over the bar, her hands now grasping on your hair, then on the edges again. On your side, the pressure her thighs bring leave you suffocating. It’s too much. You should be begging for your life; instead, you’re enjoying every minute, slowing your pace every now and then to savor the feeling.
Despite her state, she’s caught you by the wrists. They do little in stopping your tongue from consuming every inch of her, and you end up pushing her forward. You grip her by her thighs and spread her wide. She can’t resist. Fresh air has never felt more soothing to the lungs. By the way you have her legs dangled up in the air, you’re threatening to pull a nerve. She’s screaming, crying out in desperation,
Still, it doesn’t change the outcome. Yujin finally loses herself completely and comes undone. She cums—blasts jets of slick all over your face and mouth. The counter pools with the aftermath of her orgasm, and you lick it all up, sanitation be damned.
When you finally emerge from the depths of her tight, drenched cunt, she remains a mess, stamina completely drained, body still trembling from her massive climax. You’d think after that, she would be incapacitated for the night, until—
“Wait.” Yujin deeply exhales, pulls you by the wrist. You aren’t exactly going anywhere. As if struck by lightning, she suddenly rises up. A shit-eating grin forms on her lips, as if the damage wasn’t enough to take her down. There’s a familiar look in her eyes—the gaze of a woman who needs more.
She flicks a sample of her slick from the spot on the counter and laps it up, still eying you with unceasing lust. You remember her words, the question to ponder: “You’re gonna tell me now?”
Yujin blankly stares. The question lingers for a little while. “Tell you what?” she replies, the tone convincing enough to feign innocence.
“Why you love working for me.”
She smiles again, a teasing look. “You’re halfway there.”
“What does that mean?” As you try not to overreact, your assistant turned one night stand tries to stifle her laughter. It almost goes unnoticed, until— “Yuj, you’re really getting on my nerves with all this vaguery bullshit going on.”
“It’s part of the fun, is it not? Do you want me to give it straight?”
“Yes! Like always!”
Yujin leans close. One hand reaches for your pants, the other still attached to your wrist. She appears like she’s going for yet another kiss, when she stops right next to your ear and whispers, “I want you to fuck me. Use me,” before drawing herself away.
On the surface, the stare you give her looks cold. Deep in your mind, the words resonate and ring louder and louder. Four words. “Fuck me—” “Use me—” The arousal bubbles up, manifests on your cheeks. The next few minutes can go so many ways, more than you can imagine. In your eyes, she’s still your assistant, a friendly, dependable worker whom you consider a close acquaintance more than anything.
The thing is: you’ve already gone far past the point of no return. Her gaze is enticing—demanding—you to keep going.
There’s no stopping now.
Yujin casually follows you to your bedroom, hand in tow. The rest of your clothes lie discarded in the kitchen—boxers, pants, and all. Gone are the nerves and hesitations; the attitude you have towards her is different. “Lay down,” you command her, voice steely, and she obliges, the bed flopping with the slight crash of her lithe figure. You won’t ever grow tired of staring at her naked body, regardless of it’s position.
She lays flat on her tummy, observing you rummage through your large closet of suits, pulling a red tie from one of the drawers. “Not the first time I’ve had something wrapped around my neck,” she remarks, raising a curious eyebrow, crooked smile unyielding. “Stylish, just like you.”
“I wasn’t asking for your input.” You’re never this stern towards Yujin. You toss the necktie on the mattress before joining her atop the bed. “Turn around.”
Like the good girl she is, she obliges. That’s Yujin for you; she’ll always follow everything you tell her, no questions asked. On her fours, her plump ass glides face up, in complete view. Another temptation, another part of her to claim as yours. Regardless, you’re in no hurry; you’ve got the rest of the night.
With your erect cock in hand, you line the tip against her sopping cunt. She winces, moans at the contact. “Oh, fuck—” she whines, lifting her head up, her nails pressed into the sheets. As inviting as the call of her tight, wet pussy is to you, you make an organized effort to resist the immediate lull to fuck her hard.
Even holding her figure with your other hand proves to be a nightmare. Her body enraptures you in hypnotic ways. The arch of her back, the curve of her ass, the hourglass frame—it’s a feast for the eyes. You could take your sweet time and worship every little part of Yujin and she wouldn’t mind, but in the midst of your blinding daze, she’s calling to you. Again.
“Are you just gonna admire me or are you gonna shove that big cock in me?” She faces you with a mischievous grin. “I don’t mind both.”
Suddenly, you remember your position in this relationship. You grab her by the throat, face her away again. “Quiet. I don’t want to hear any more from you unless you’re taking this fucking cock.”
Showing a little resistance, she tries daring you, “Then f—fuck!”
Her jaw goes wide, frozen in place, her voice abruptly cutting as you undercut her with your cock. You’re no better; pleasure sets your muscles ablaze as you thrust into her inviting cunt. It shows in the deep groan spilling from your mouth. Little by little, you plunge ever so deep until you feel yourself buried to the hilt. That’s when you finally let out this breath of relief—but not for long.
Her pussy clenches hard. Her heat proves to be suffocating beyond measure. If you don’t act quickly, she could end you in seconds.
“O-oh God—”
You slowly, painstakingly pull back before throttling your hips into her. Taking these short breaths, every little move you make is precarious. It’s not that she’s resisting you—far from it—but it’s you resisting the urge to cum so soon. Your mind tries to think of anything other than what’s right in front, but even that proves to be nearly impossible. The ripple of her ass, the slight wobble of her breasts, the twisting grip of your hand on her otherwise soft skin—
“So fucking tight. Holy fuck, Yuj—” You manage to mutter before you’re reduced to groans again.
All you can focus on is keeping yourself together while you’re slowly crumbing away. You find a rhythm in the midst of the madness, pounding away at your assistant’s cunt, your senses overrun by pleasure and the satisfying sound of your skin slapping skin. Elsewhere, your hands can’t seem to find solace in just one area. They’re everywhere; from her hair, to her throat, to the arch of her ass, to her hips, the imprints stay new, eventually creating a patterned sequence that immediately breaks.
You’re fucking these strained cries and prasies out of Yujin’s sweet lips, and it’s quite the mouthful. ’More,’ ‘harder,’ ‘so good—’ until it reaches the point where her voice is so worn from your chokehold that she can only speak in high pitched mewls. Another cycle you wish would never end.
Slowing your pace, you reach for the necktie, gently tying it around her neck while preventing your rhythm from disrupting. “You’re such a fucking perfect woman, you know that?” you mutter in her ear, kissing the helix and indulging in the scent of her perfume mixed with sex and sweat. “Perfect listener, perfect assistant, perfect body—”
Pulling yourself away from her, you yank the tie along—your makeshift leash. Her body tilts all the way up, a sharp screech suddenly filling the bedroom. You’re not sure if its from the pull or just her moan. Either way, you have her in your grasp. Brushing her hair aside, you mumble, “Actually, I don’t know how to use a tie like that. I just wanted to remember what it’s like to be the boss. Your boss.”
It should have sounded flat, like all your other attempts at being convincing. And yet, she leans her ear backward, trying to recapture your lips. Teasing a little, your lips make what’s considered the most minimal of contacts, before you push her to her fours. You don’t intend to pull on the tie again, but you’re still holding on to it like your most prized possession—and it may as well be Yujin.
“Of course,” are her first words uttered in a while that aren’t some combination of profanity and praise.
Grabbing her by the midsection, the rhythm of your thrusts quickens. You feel it. The imminent collapse. And it’s not just the bed quaking and creaking from your sex. She’s pleading now; ’So close,’ she tells you, begs you to let her cum all over your cock. In any other scenario, you’d acquiesce. Here, with all the authority, you’re going to assert your power a little.
“Say it. Say it and I’ll let you cum all over me,” you demand, your hand climbing up to her chest, grabbing at her breast, folding her up slightly that her grip on the sheets transfers to the headboard. “I wanted you so fucking bad for so long.”
“Anything for you. Just let me cum!” she cries out, on the verge of falling apart. Dangerously close.
“Tell me I’m yours.”
“I’m yours!”
“You know what I meant. Say it again.”
“I’m yours! I’m yours!”
Hearing her declare that she belongs to you with such conviction almost upends you too. You almost give in, but narrowaly escape thanks to your utter resolve. The smirk on your face is priceless.
“Perfect. Now cum.”
Just like that, her body reacts at the drop of your command, as if it was hardwired into her. Yujin goes numb—fidgeting, cumming all over your cock—as you continue to pound into her cunt. A single word echoes, going quieter with every incantation: ‘Fuck,’ she whines, caught reeling in her orgasm and catching every breath possible.
Eventually, it comes to a standstill, the only thing left is for you to crash. Lucky for her, you’re not that far off. You’ve let go of the tie, holding onto her shoulders instead. So now it’s her opportunity to turn the tables on you again.
“Fucking give it to me—oh I need it now, oh God—” Yujin begs, barely keeping herself upright in the aftermath of her climax.
And you just crash down on her, slamming her deep into the sheets, turning her around as you fuck callously, clamping her neck, her moans ringing into your ear. She has a leg wrapped arond yours—as if you had any intention of pulling out. You’ve spent enough time away from her pretty face; now you want to watch her take all your load deep in her pussy.
Yujin’s mouth melds in the shape of a moan as the pressure finally overwhelms you. Burying yourself deep in her, you’re still pumping, fucking your cock as you blast thick load after thick load in her warm, creamy cunt. The sensation leaves you breathless, hanging onto her for dear life as you wait for the moment to pass. Though it may seem like a couple of minutes, the feeling lingers far longer than you can imagine. She milks you of all your worth, drawing every last drop from your throbbing cock until your body can’t move any longer.
Eventually, your bodies wind up together, limbs tangled, wrapped around each other in a warm embrace. The comfort you both needed after a long day.
—————
You gaze down at a tired Yujin. Hours ago, you were the one holding onto her; now she’s the clingy one, wrapping an arm over you. “I really need to know, Yuj.”
She mumbles into your chest. “What is it?” You feel her soft lips leave lipstick marks on your skin.
You’re brushing away loose, dark strands of her hair to get a better look of her pristine, shiny face. “Why do you love working for me?”
After the passionate night you just had, you still have the gall to ask such a frivolous question. The answer should be obvious by now.
She looks up, smiling—a pleasant, friendly gleam, one you immediately recognize as soon as you walk through those office doors. “Because you’re the first boss I’ve ever worked for that isn’t a total asshole. Also, you’re good at everything.”
You raise an eyebrow and frown. “That’s not—”
“You know what I meant, boss.” The smiling turns into teasing. You realize, then you laugh.
You should be basking in the afterglow of sex, but daylight peeking through your curtain says otherwise. You’re so tired, you can’t move a muscle, let alone grab the phone from the living room to tell the time. All you know is that you should be at work by now, and so should Yujin.
The ring from your phone can be heard loud and clear, even a room and clothing pocket away. As you try to lift your head, Yujin meets you halfway, kissing you before laying you back down.
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll write up your leave of absence. Besides, I could use some time off too,” she says, inching her face close to yours.
The notion frightens you. Yujin, your most reliable assistant, never missing a day that isn’t considered a holiday, not by your side when you need her.
And you need her now more than ever.
“Time off? When?”
“From now. Until you say we’re done.”
—————
(A/N: :bsadcorner:)
(Missing IVE's first proper world tour will always be one of my K-pop low points, even if I already watched and even shared an interaction with them. Goddammit, I can already expect the prices and perks for their next tour will be even more expensive than it already is. Sigh. Anyway, I hope they get their well deserved time off. Thank you for reading!)
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