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The Circle of Vengeance - Chapter One
Here's an angsty Guitarspear fanfic! Let's see how many chapters I can write of this before y'all get tired of my insanity! Chapter Summary: Lute makes a choice and Charlie loses her shit. Also push doors play their role as the eighth deadly sin.
Lute heard the news from Saint Peter. Sera had let it slip that Adam had been reborn- as a sinner. As a demon.
It couldn’t be right; there was no way Adam, her Adam, could possibly be in Hell.
Except that it was Adam, and that alone made it make sense.
But- she couldn’t think that. There had to be a mistake. God must have- No. No, it was impossible. God didn’t fuck up.
Well, this time he must have, because Adam didn’t deserve to be in Hell.
He’d killed people, but on Heaven’s orders, and he was the first man, for fuck’s sake. Didn’t that count for anything?
Lute needed to do something to fix this. She couldn’t discuss it with God, but Sera- she reported directly to Sera now, and the angel had decided they needed to have weekly meetings now. To make sure everything is running smoothly, was Sera’s excuse. The lieutenant knew the truth, though. To keep Lute in line.
Lute looked down at the spear she gripped tightly in her hands. The spear that had killed demons, earning her Adam’s favor and praise.
They’d never really defined their relationship. Boss and employee? Co-murderers? We’re totally just friends, but, like, I’d fuck you if you asked?
All of the above?
Lute made her way to Sera’s office, grinding her teeth together, hoping this would go over well.
She braced her hand on the cobalt doorknob and pulled it open.
The door was locked.
The fuck…?
Sera never locked her door. Not once in the many millennia of Lute’s existence had Sera ever locked her door.
Lute slammed her body against the door, mentally screaming at the damn thing to stop being so annoying, and it flung open.
Fuck, Lute, it’s a push door! Why do you keep forgetting that?
Every. Fucking. Time.
“Commander, there you are,” Sera said. She sat at a bronze desk, with two chairs made of the same material on opposite sides.
There used to be a third for Adam.
Lute clasped her hands behind her back and inclined her head. “Your Majesty.”
“Sit down, Commander, we need to speak about these incident reports,” the Queen of Heaven ordered.
Commander. Lute still hadn’t gotten used to that.
“Your Majesty, I actually have… a different matter of business that I feel must be discussed with you,” Lute said, lowering herself into the chair.
“Go ahead,” Sera told her, waving her hand.
“I heard about what happened to Adam,” Lute murmured. “I was wondering… if you knew why?”
Sera burst out laughing suddenly. “You don’t mean to tell me you’re surprised?”
“Well… I am, Your Majesty,” Lute said. “I am confused as to why someone in such a high, respected position as Adam would be allowed to…” “Become a sinner?” Sera finished. Lute winced. “It’s quite obvious. He has committed almost every sin there is. The confusing thing would have been if he’d wound up a winner!”
“But, Your Majesty… isn’t there anything we can do?” Lute asked.
“Do?” Sera repeated, her face twisted into a shocked expression.
“Yes, he is the First Man, there must be a way to… make an exception?” the lieutenant presumed.
“There are no exceptions,” Sera scoffed. “Adam said it himself, the rules are black and white.” “But-” “Lute, I am sorry that your fuckbuddy- boyfriend- whatever he was to you-”
“Boss,” Lute hissed.
“-Got himself cast down to hell. But unless you plan on taking the same path, I expect you to put that pretty little righteously sadistic smirk back on your face, remember your place, and make a plan with your Exorcists for how to exterminate the last of Hell, like you told me you wanted to.” Flames burned in Sera’s eyes.
“Your Majesty, please, there must be a way…” Lute begged, but it was to no avail.
“Do not question Heaven, abomination, or I may decide that you are no longer worthy of it!”
“Then fucking do it!” Lute screamed, her voice hoarse. “I know exactly how low you think of me, it’s only been a matter of time!”
“Oh, no, ‘Commander’,” Sera cooed. “You didn’t think I’d make it that easy for you, did you? I’m giving you a choice. You can never speak of Adam again or you can join him. What will it be, Lute? Adam or God?”
To anyone else, the answer would have been obvious. Her shitty boss or everything she existed for?
But Adam wasn’t just her shitty boss.
He was her motivation, and she was his. He was the person always pushing her to work hard, but also to lay back, to relax, to enjoy her existence for once. And she was always there for him, the nights when the memories of Eve and Lilith came back too strong and he would try to drown himself in alcohol. And Lute was always ready to give Adam an ass-kicking when he needed one.
But Lute had a purpose in Heaven. Yes, that purpose was killing, but it was still a reason to wake up in the morning and suffer through another of sweat and Sera and unruly Exorcists.
But killing Adam?
She’d mutilated Vaggie because she couldn’t do her job properly.
But could Lute do her job, now that Adam was a sinner? Now that she was biased? This was why they didn’t let winners become Exorcists. Over ninety-five percent of them had someone they cared about who was a goddamn sinner.
And sinners were trouble incarnate.
But what if just one exception could be made…?
Vaggie didn’t get an exception.
…But why should Lute not?
Lute was more diligent than Vaggie, more adept at her job than Vaggie, more worthy than Vaggie.
Right? So then why did Vaggie get to be with Charlie? Why did Vaggie get someone who loved her, even though she was an angel? Even though she was a murderer?
Everyone loved Vaggie and everyone hated Lute.
Except for Adam. Adam and Lute had always been on each other’s sides, even when one or both of them inevitably fucked up.
When Adam had broken into hell unauthorized to steal porn films and booze and generally shit on Lucifer’s good time, Lute had taken half the blame and shared Adam’s sentence.
When Lute had accidentally stabbed another Exorcist during the exterminations, Adam had defended her to Sera and used the “one out per century” the Seraphim had told him he could get due to his First Man title to get her charges dropped.
Adam would never want her to sacrifice everything in her life for him.
But Lute didn’t know if she could live with herself if she didn’t.
To never see Adam again except at the end of her spear, to never even have his name escape between her lips again… it sounded more like Hell than anything Lucifer could create.
To lust was a sin, to want more was a sin.
But Adam had lusted and bragged, boiled over and envied, and everything else in the book that for anyone else, would pretty much be an automatic slam of the pearly gates in their face.
Adam, you stupid fucking idiot, I miss you more than anything and I don’t want to lose you.
“Make your decision now, Lute. Adam. Or. God.”
In the movies, it came out as a scream of wrath and disgust and confidence.
In the movies, there were tears streaming down the character’s face as
they spoke.
In the movies, there was no doubt in their eyes.
This was the opposite of a movie.
And Lute’s suddenly shaky voice was so quiet she could barely hear herself as she rasped, “Adam.”
—
Lute gripped her nails into a brick building, trying to keep herself upright and conscious. The blood from where her wings used to be was drying on her back. Sera had ripped her prosthetic arm off as well, and Lute missed that already too.
She had no time to sit around and weep. She’d made her choice; there was no undoing it. Now she had to find Adam.
Fuck, she missed that whiny little asshole.
She couldn’t exactly come up with a good plan of how to find him, though. Yell his name through the streets of hell like he was a lost puppy?
Somehow, Lute didn’t think that would yield the best results.
She pulled herself off of the wall and started walking down the streets of Hell, searching for Adam, ignoring the warm, sticky blood coating her body.
Her feet dragged down the pavement as she searched, wondering where the actual fuck he was and what he had gotten himself into this time.
“Lute?” a voice exclaimed behind.
She whirled around, hoping, pleading-
It was Charlie. No, please let her be hallucinating, anyone other than Vaggie’s girlfriend-
“The fuck are you doing here?” the princess demanded.
“What does it look like?” Lute asked in a condescending tone, gesturing to her missing wings and prosthesis.
“It looks like you got what you deserved,” Charlie hissed.
“Wow, demon princess, you’ve changed a lot since we last met. I kinda like it,” Lute remarked.
“You tried to kill Vaggie. Twice!” the demon screamed.
“Oh, yes, where is she, by the way? I thought you two were glued at the hip, how I never see one without the other!” Lute said, laughing a bit.
“Like I’m going to tell you that!” Charlie shouted.
“Do I look like I’m in any position to be fighting someone right now?” the angel said.
“Lute, I know you, you’re always in a position to fight everyone!”
“Aww, little princess doesn’t think she can take me in a duel?” Lute cooed.
“Little princess thinks she has something you want,” Charlie said, horns beginning to sprout from her head.
“And what would that be?” Lute asked nonchalantly.
A kick landed itself in Lute’s back, knocking her to the ground, out of breath.
The fuck..?
When she looked up, Vaggie was towering over her.
“Him.”
Vaggie turned, gesturing to the avian demon behind her. He was different, and dirtier, but it was undoubtedly Adam.
“How long have you-” Lute started, but Vaggie cut her off.
“About a month.”
Adam was bleeding, what had happened, what had they done to him? She had to protect him, she had to avenge him, what did they do-
Lute jumped up and whirled her dagger towards Vaggie, screaming something incoherent, but before she even got a chance to strike, she was surrounded by Vaggie on one side and Charlie- in her full demon form- on the other.
The princess looked ready to murder her.
Charlie’s hand pinned Lute to the ground, and her voice was bursting with Wrath as she hissed, “I won’t be killing you today. That would be a mercy. You tried to take Vaggie from me. I will do the same to you.” Charlie released her so quick, Lute didn’t have a second to fight before Vaggie stabbed her spear into Adam’s chest. Lute watched him gasp for air before collapsing to the ground.
Something came across Charlie’s eyes at that moment, likely satisfaction.
Lute crumpled, and again, the world went dark.
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel adam#hazbin hotel lute#charlie morningstar#vaggie#hazbin hotel sera#guitarspear#guardrock#adam x lute#lute x adam#sinner adam#tw character death#angst#fuck push doors#what's the point of the goddamn handle
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CHRISTOPHER PLUMMER as Raymond Swan Inside Daisy Clover (1965)
#filmgifs#filmedit#moviegifs#userfilm#cinematicsource#dailyworldcinema#perioddramasource#perioddramaedit#userthing#classicfilmsource#uservintage#oldhollywoodedit#usercinemagifs#classics#payidaresque.gif#did i actually watch the movie? most likely not#did i downloaded it just to make these gifs? probably yes 👀#but from what i have seen while making this set oh he is a fucking bastard#he is a GOOD LOOKING fucking bastard tho 👀#also 2nd gif gives me so much bond vibes#also that door push is so fucking dramatic HELP
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punk!soap metalhead!ghost brain blast!!!
ghost trying so hard to get soap out of the bad parts of the scene bc he's starting to get pulled in by the shadows, a group of wannabe anarchists that stand for nothing except themselves, but soap loses his shit; laying into ghost for daring to try and "save" him
no one's ever been there for him when he needed them; no one ever offered him support or a soft place to land, why the hell would he want ghost's help when he's perfectly fine on his own? (when he’s always had to be?)
"you think i can't make my own decisions? well fuck you, ghost, who needs a washed up piece o’ shite like you!"
he doesn’t talk to ghost for days, doesn’t let himself acknowledge the hole he’s left behind until he's getting pissed with the shadows one night in an abandoned house and graves starts waving around the gun he snuck through customs and it accidentally goes off, grazing soap's temple
he's never heard anything so loud, even at all the shows he’s attended and there’s so much blood; it's getting in his eyes, running down his neck and soaking into his clothes and he’s frozen. graves and all his shadows bolt after hearing the gunshot, worried about cops finding them and they leave him there; staring at the growing puddle at his feet
soap's panicking; half-blind, blistering pain lighting up his head and he can't think about anything beyond how much he wants ghost
ghost's been sulking at his flat since soap blew him off; pissed at soap for going off on him when he just wants to help but still worried about the punk. he doesn’t want him going down the same road as him; doesn’t want him to repeat his mistakes when he could save himself so much suffering and he almost doesn't answer his phone when it buzzes on the couch
he lets out a ragged sigh as he picks it up; raking a hand over his shaved head when he sees the bubble emoji and contemplates letting it ring out. contemplates answering with a growl; something a younger, crueler version of him would spit. in the end, he decides on silence and puts the phone to his ear just before it can stop ringing
he almost breaks it when he hears soap choke out, "i've been shot."
he's out the door in a heartbeat, running down the stairs because the lift is too slow; trying to get more information out of him but he can't get anything out beyond a repeated, "i've been shot."
he breaks every law there is as he speeds to soap's location; visions of his cold, bloodless corpse staining his mind's eye. the only thing keeping him calm are the strangled breaths from the other end of the line; he's not dead, he can work with not dead, this isn't tommy, soap won't end up like tommy-
ghost screeches to a halt outside a random alley and throws himself from the car when he sees soap collapsed against a garbage bin. he's covered in blood, soaked, just like that night, it's everywhere and he's not moving, he's not moving-
“johnny!”
he skids to his knees and fits his hand under his chin to check his pulse… but his heart beats strong under his fingertips and soap's eyes flutter open; flooded with blood but conscious and alive
the second he registers ghost in front of him, he’s reaching out for him; babbling apologies over and over, "you were right, i'm sorry ghost, i should've listened; i'm sorry, i'm so sorry."
ghost just gently hushes him, cupping his face heedless of the blood. "that doesn't matter now, johnny. we're gonna get you all fixed up, yeah?"
soap’s hands fist in his shirt, clinging to him. "i got shot, ghost," he says again; lost and smaller than he's ever heard from his punk and it's been years since he's felt this kind of rage but he doesn't let a drop of it touch his voice
“i know, lad. i know. gonna let me take a look at it? make it right?"
soap finally nods, his stuttering apologies coming to a halt and ghost runs back to his car to get a towel. he presses it to soap's skin, trying to soak up as much as he can so he can get a proper look; cooing assurances as soap absently hisses in pain the closer he gets to it
it's only a graze and something in his chest unravels; old fears and grief settling as the shallow wound continues to gush into the towel
ghost slumps, pressing his forehead into the top of soap's head and takes a second to just breathe. “‘s’alright, johnny; it’s not even that bad, not even that bad,” he promises, low; spoken more to himself than soap
his hand starts to grow damp and he forces himself to his feet, gathering up soap and getting him into his car. he puts the towel in his hand and presses it against the wound, trying to coax him through his shock to put pressure on it so he can drive
soap curls up in the passenger seat; eyes distant, seeing nothing and ghost has to tighten his grip on the steering wheel so he doesn't turn around
soap is the priority
he has to get him home; has to get him cleaned up and safe
then he can go hunting for the gutless shadow that hurt his punk
#this was just me wanting to give soap his post mw3 head scar ngl#tw implied past suicide#god if soap gets real mean with it. 'you dont give a shite about me! this is just you trying to save your stupid brother!#well guess what ghost?! hes fucking dead and smothering me aint gonna bring him back!’#and its the only thing he couldve said that would make ghost let him walk out the door#ghosts been here before. he knows how impossible it is to help someone that doesnt want to be helped but he cant let soap go#he cant go down that road again. cant let it be just to walk into soaps flat one day and find him in a bloodsoaked bathtub#when soap comes out of his shock he finds ghost slowly and methodically cleaning his leather jacket#hes trying hard to remain calm and clearheaded#trying not to fall back into old habits#but theres a reason hes called ghost#bc the second he stops looking after soap is the second he storms out to find graves and wring his neck#soap pushes back so hard against ghost trying to help him bc in his head being ‘saved’ or ‘better’ means being changed#bc the only help hes ever experienced has been conditional. ‘we will help you if you go to college. if you stop art.#if you change your entire being’#he cant process that ghost wants him the exact way that he is bc no one ever has#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#soapghost#ghostsoap#ghoap#soap cod#john soap mactavish#ghost cod#simon ghost riley#save post
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Fuck, just had a hell of a Holland realization, which everyone else probably realized years ago but indulge my horror: The Danes have their stone statue garden of traitors. And the only thing we've ever seen in WL that can turn people to stone is As Staro. The command Holland used to kill his fucking brother. The idea of him having to replicate that kill over and over with the traitors the Danes wanted to make sharpest examples of, and then walk past those kills every fucking day? I have nothing else to say except it's a fucking crime Holland didn't get the same sort of triumphant, bloody fight against the Danes Lila got against the earth mage who tried to kill her in the tournament, because to say he deserved it so much more is the flimsiest possible understatement.
#to be clear. nothing in canon supports this hypothesis. except that well. we absolutely see!#Holland do this particular command and there's not a lott of other ways to make fucking statues#I think it was Dendritic-Trees in her phenomenal ADSOM reread who said of the Danes: what do you even say about human beings like this?#and as much as I love! and write myself! fics shading in the Danes as villains but also people who of course see themselves as the hero of#their own tale. sometimes her comment is a big fucking mood.#Holland lived with these fuckers for seven years. that he had the capacity to A. have any moral code at all but then to be capable of#showing immense mercy in not making Kell use the Inheritor when Kell. honey I adore you but you pushed him through a door to hell for your#survival (don't get me started on it taking seven years for Kell to ask second-hand about the details of Holland's servitude we'll be here#all day.) the depth of Holland's strength is remarkable#Holland Vosijk#Shades Of Magic
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shadow is 11 years old and i still have to tuck him into my bed before leaving my room otherwise he will start wailing and shredding the doorframe like an angry toddler who is actually a middle-aged man
#skye's ramblings#large baby doesnt get on my bed unless i am too. if i open the door for him n go do other stuff he will loaf on the floor until i come back#ihave to call him onto the bed and let him get comfortable before i leave. im trying to go shower but he yelled at me#worlds funniest gato i swear. he will only eat if his bowl is in the perfect spot and he has a separate water bowl bc hes a fucking diva#my door doesn't latch properly so he will push it open and then wait for me to open it the rest of the way before coming in#he is simultaneously the world's most polite and demanding cat. and i would blow up the world for him
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The Doctor needs one of those classes they give to expecting/hopeful parents but for humans. Get their ass enrolled in a parenting course. And everytime they get a new companion he has to retake the course.
#doctor who#dw#the doctor#inspired by the deleted scene of her just pushing amy out of the tardis doors into space#while amy was having an anxiety attack. YOU CANNOT DO THAT!#they have access to all of time and space the doctor has to be able to find a human parenting/caretaker course#bonus points if he ends up taking one for human children.#imgine youre travelling with the doctor and he leaves and comes back one day and says they enrolled themself in a human management course#and youre like 'oh thank god finally'#and then she just starts bubble wrapping the entire tardis and locking off entire rooms and giving you coloring sheets and stim toys#when you get bored#and starts taking you to like. fucking parks to play with other humans.#and starts carrying like fucking snacks like lunchables and shit everywhere and giving them to you at regular intervals#and you're like 'hey what the fuck.'#and you ask them what the hell they're doing and you find out they were learning to care for human TODDLERS.#and you're like. jesus fucking christ. explains so much. mildly disconcerting how much stayed the same though.#and so obviously you ask 'do you see me as a child?' and the doctor is like. ah. interesting question.#you know what else is interesting. OOOOOOO TELETUBBIES LETS LOOK AT THE TELETUBBIES OOOOOO EDUCATIONAL GAMES OOOO!!!!#LOOK AT THE SMALL HUMAN ON THE SCREEN WHICH PAIR OF SHOES MATCHES THE DRESS??? CHOOSE FAST!!!!!!#this could also open the door for an amazing bit though#where you start doing all of the same things back to the doctor and it works even better on them than it did you.#turn their ass into an ipad kid. they start arguing too much put his ass on minecraft pocket edition.#she just sits there for 1-3 hours. dead silence. you walk over like. 'hey. um. you good.'#no answer. you look ove rher shoulder. she has recreated ancient rome in minecraft in exact replica and is the reigning emperor.#they are roleplaying the roman senate with sheep and villagers. okay. can you please save the world now. please.#this is not to infantilize the doctor. he is old as shit. they are an adult. but by god can they be easily entertained.#not to mention that a key factor of the doctor IS their eternal childishness.#but they ARE a fully grown adult. beyond that even. ancient 'were you alive to see the dinosaurs grandpa?' ass motherfucker.#they are just also a masive loser. who would love minecraft pocket edition and lunchables. probably. who doesn't though.#bangers
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Eun Dan-oh of Extraordinary You is the best because she's so tiny but she manages to manhandle every single super tall member of A3:
She is tiny and she is powerful
#extraordinary you#eun dan oh#watching this show again for reasons#These guys are all at least a foot taller than her#And she's gives no fucks#pushes them right out doors
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since i’m not allowed to have feeders - BUT HAVE ALREADY TRAINED THE BIRDS TO ASSOCIATE MY WINDOW W THEM - i’ve just lined the windowsill w feed & the birds are getting comfortable w just coming directly to the windowsill regardless of if it’s open lmfao
#stream#it opens bottom out not side out or sliding#i WISH it were a sliding window but no#so it’s like a doggy door u know what i mean ? push out then the ledge is just below the bottom lip of the ‘door’#i’ll line it w CLEAR PLASTIC & some sort of tape so u can’t see it from the ground but it’ll still hold the seed lol#problem SOLVED#FUCK THIS UNI#pij posting
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If the landlord doesn’t want me fishing around in their shower vent and cold air returns, then they shouldn’t make them stink like rotting garbage. You painted over the screws so they’re hard to open? Cool. I’ll drill holes into them and get them out with a power tool because the town next to me is having a citywide garage sale and I’m sure there’s some Ryobi in there at a decent price. Your vents are coming off motherfucker, and if I find anything I swear to fucking god I am going to have both your vents and your bank account cleaned out.
#I also have a closet door that glues itself shut every time it’s closed… because they used fucking Mod-Podge to finish it I guess???#And the knob fell off when I pulled on it. So I stuck a hex wrench in there to try to use it as a handle#but I couldn’t grip it well enough to pull it open#so I karate-kneed the door on the side of the knob while pulling and it opened#As I’m talking about knobs… a knob is responsible for finishing this apartment#The cabinets don’t line up. The bedroom closet doors don’t shut at the same time#because they’re too tight in the jam and push the other out when you close a door while the other door is already closed#The cabinets in the bathroom don’t fully close because the hinges were drilled at an angle#The base molding looks like it fell off a cliff and was fractured in three places#SHIT-COLORED CIGARETTE TAR DRIPS DOWN THE WALLS IN THE BATHROOM WHEN THEY GET WET#Fuck you and your lease. If you’re allowed to have irresponsible carpenters and maintenance; I am allowed to responsibly burn incense#If people are allowed to smoke; I am allowed to burn incense#“No candles” fuck you for making me need to burn scents in the first place#Orwellian fucking apartment. Literally 1984. Not because of the rules; just because the apartment is a dysfunctional shithole#and it smells like the rotting remains of boiled cabbage just like the book#And if anyone asks me why I didn’t call maintenance I’m going to respond with my unresolved service request for the A/C#which conveniently broke down during a heat wave#Did it really break down or did the landlords cut it to save money? Like yes A/Cs break during the summer#but I wouldn’t doubt sabotage either. It doesn’t turn on at all.#The site asked what dates I’d like them to look at it. I gave my dates and said I’d be there all day. I waited at home for two days. No one#No follow-up until nearly a month later saying “We’re still getting to all the service requests please bear with us.” Oh thanks#You couldn’t have done that sooner?
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Sigh Yan!Chuuya kidnap me and keep me in your house forever challenge....
#I'm back to yearning#the way he looks at u so hopeful and incredulous when you tell him you want him too <33#the way he looks at you when he's fucking you into the mattress and you don't even try to push him off <33#when you beg him to not pull out <33 when you wake him up by riding him or kiss his knuckles <33#or greet him at the door on your knees after he's had a long day <333#leo.spam#man i need him
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this year is for standing up for myself in the little things too. and if that means i need to send a politely firm email about student org behavior making me uncomfortable then by god i am going to do that.
#.txt#not wanting to be a bitch vs this is the second year i have had a flyer pushed THROUGH THE CRACK IN MY DOOR asking if i am quote.#looking for other women on fire for Jesus?#i have nothing against them as a group. find your community gals. but there is an oversight group to student orgs#and quite frankly i am not thrilled about them looking at the name on my door and going. Woman.#and it's fucking weird to shove it through my door#even taping it to the outside would be acceptable#put posters up in the dorm whatever!#shoving it through my door??? feels like that shouldn't be encouraged
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ok I have to do yard work today so who is fueling my Toji gardener fantasy
#I'm his hoe *gets shot*#neighbor Toji who has a lot of time to kill since his hitman job only takes up a few days each month#he offers to help with your yard. but like he also just kinda does stuff while he's at it- like if he's mowing his lawn he'll just continue#you always come out and offer him water and snacks. 'you don't have to do this for me' you say#but he just brushes it off. of course he doesn't but he wants to fuck you#you start inviting him to spend time in the backyard he so carefully grooms. it's not long before he doing all your yard work#and while he does that you're cooking for him like a sweet little housewife. he has to stop himself from dragging you in for a deep kiss#when you ask if he wants a glass of lemonade....#or maybe he doesn't stop himself. kissing you as he pins you against the door#'got all the sweetness i need right here' he mumbles. pushing his tongue into your mouth. tasting you#he smells like sweat and grass trimmings yet you can't help gripping those big biceps. gasping into the kiss........#ugh i need him
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MANIFESTING PRODUCTIVITY 🙏🙏🙏
#we are.... not in the home stretch yet but it is approaching#slowly but surely#this document is 13k and i could literally keel over at any moment but we keep pushing 💪💪#to do:#sew up the bit at the top of the stairs#fill in the gap outside the door#finish the snack#check the weather#find somewhere to put the gesturing bit#and then oh yeah they fuck don't they#here we go i guess 🕺🕺🕺
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hate my living situation i have to say.
#im trying so fucking hard to be okay with it.#but i get home every day and i just want to cry#i wanna move so fucking bad but that makes things so much more complicated#there’s not guarantee if i moved im going to get another room this nice#i dont want to be someone who just complains up and down but it just sucks#im pushing myself so far out of my comfort zone already is it really so much to ask that i feel comfortable IN MY ROOM. WITH THE DOOR SHUT.#im trying really hard i swear. i swear i am trying. i am trying.#but i just feel so stressed and miserable#idk man. just complaining#i should get over myself
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this was meant to be a funny post, but then it got deep imao
not a relationship person, but i believe in their beliefs
#me when i lie#it always comes round to june and i’m always single and it’s quite honestly homophobic#imaooooo nah it’s not that deep i’m just coming on my period hehe x#literally keep saying the same thing about relationships#like i shouldn’t get into one just because i’m lonely#and rush things and completely blow up my life on impulse#but i don’t know any other way#need to learn to take it slow and *actually* take it slow#because the last time i “took it slow’’ it all went wrong#basically i want a relationship at some point but when all your relationships are the same#it really gets to you#and i keep thinking about (redacted) and how much i fucked it all up#but also like would we really have worked out?#if i’d actually believed everything she said would we be okay?#do i not have a life? or am i not allowing myself to have a life?#bc literally i think i’ve gotten so used to being on the floor that i’ve forgotten how to get up#and like if i really tried i could actually get what i want#and i know that sounds obvious but like bear with me#i’ve basically shoved myself into a deep dark hole and covered myself up with dirt and then forgotten i can dig myself out#i *can* be with someone seriously#like yeah it’s uncomfortable and scary and it means facing up to certain things that make my stomach hurt but i will never have a life if i#don’t do these things#i can’t allow myself to basically get pushed back into the closet#i can’t allow myself to be infantilised and treated like shit all the time#like even if i’m surviving purely via spite for a while it’s better than the alternative#instead of constantly talking about the same thing and how nothing ever changes i should actually change it#again obvious but i’m usually miles behind bc my brain… isn’t great is probably the kindest way i could put that#and that’s okay. like it’s hard but it’s okay#even if i’m living out my teenage years and doing the things i’d wished i’d done then at 25+ that’s fine#there’s a whole fucking world outside my bedroom door so maybe i should go actually see it?
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Racer bfs😍
#TONY MY LOVE ty Crimson ty#HANDS#He’s my little boo boo bear honey#Rocking his cute racer fit with that sweet smile#He’s killing it like he kills the p—#Johnny has two racer bfs#life is tough and people are really fuckin mean but at least og cobras exist#I mean just look at how they acted#don’t give me the ‘just buddies’#who surrounds one person and grabs at them and glares at whoever upsets them like that#like they would surround others and beat them. they surrounded him like protection#johnny x cobras#tony o’dell#No but please let it be known that he pushes Johnny against the car door (cough the reason Johnny shuts car doors with his hips:he’s used t#someone coming up behind him) and he ruts against him like that saying he’s gonna fuck him on the hood later#Hell yeah#Dutch and him tag teaming Johnny after a bike race gosh
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