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#and it smells like the rotting remains of boiled cabbage just like the book
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If the landlord doesn’t want me fishing around in their shower vent and cold air returns, then they shouldn’t make them stink like rotting garbage. You painted over the screws so they’re hard to open? Cool. I’ll drill holes into them and get them out with a power tool because the town next to me is having a citywide garage sale and I’m sure there’s some Ryobi in there at a decent price. Your vents are coming off motherfucker, and if I find anything I swear to fucking god I am going to have both your vents and your bank account cleaned out.
#I also have a closet door that glues itself shut every time it’s closed… because they used fucking Mod-Podge to finish it I guess???#And the knob fell off when I pulled on it. So I stuck a hex wrench in there to try to use it as a handle#but I couldn’t grip it well enough to pull it open#so I karate-kneed the door on the side of the knob while pulling and it opened#As I’m talking about knobs… a knob is responsible for finishing this apartment#The cabinets don’t line up. The bedroom closet doors don’t shut at the same time#because they’re too tight in the jam and push the other out when you close a door while the other door is already closed#The cabinets in the bathroom don’t fully close because the hinges were drilled at an angle#The base molding looks like it fell off a cliff and was fractured in three places#SHIT-COLORED CIGARETTE TAR DRIPS DOWN THE WALLS IN THE BATHROOM WHEN THEY GET WET#Fuck you and your lease. If you’re allowed to have irresponsible carpenters and maintenance; I am allowed to responsibly burn incense#If people are allowed to smoke; I am allowed to burn incense#“No candles” fuck you for making me need to burn scents in the first place#Orwellian fucking apartment. Literally 1984. Not because of the rules; just because the apartment is a dysfunctional shithole#and it smells like the rotting remains of boiled cabbage just like the book#And if anyone asks me why I didn’t call maintenance I’m going to respond with my unresolved service request for the A/C#which conveniently broke down during a heat wave#Did it really break down or did the landlords cut it to save money? Like yes A/Cs break during the summer#but I wouldn’t doubt sabotage either. It doesn’t turn on at all.#The site asked what dates I’d like them to look at it. I gave my dates and said I’d be there all day. I waited at home for two days. No one#No follow-up until nearly a month later saying “We’re still getting to all the service requests please bear with us.” Oh thanks#You couldn’t have done that sooner?
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