#fuck off british twinks

[pipscloset]

As a detroiter I'm beyond flabbergasted that these mother fucker's don't know what ranch is... like what?? Growing up, we put it on everything

[cinnbar-bun]

Maam stop making Diego so hot for no reason he’s a fucking loser (jk please keep doing it I love you)

He’s a loser but he’s MYYYY loser 😭😭😭

[nor-4]

The "B" word trend - Formula one and Reader

A/N: @23victoria when i saw her posts i immediately think of this one so thanks to her! Love her works sm

⋆.˚ Max Verstappen

"Hey everyone, love say hi to the camera." You informed max as you touched his legs to catch his attention, "Hi guys" He waved into the camera throwing out a smile.

"So i saw this trend on tiktok.." You started talking while arranging your bag that is on your lap trying to distract you from nervousness, "Yes.." Max nodded as he turns to look at you.

"If i gave you the permission to say the B word, how would you call me?" You stated as you were looking out the window and back to him.

"What i always call you beautiful, what do you mean permission?" Max looked at you with his typical confused look, "No babe what. I meant by you know the curse word." You giggled as you lightly pushed his face away who was about an inch away from you.

"Oh that, i would never say that to you even you say that to me." He shrugged laughing too, "Called me once a bitchy whore for wearing my suit and an attitude." he faced the camera as if he is complaining to the viewers before ending the video.

⋆.˚ Logan Sargeant

"If i let you say the B word, how would you say it?" You asked him on ig live while eating beside him, "B word? Bookie? Bookie you look good and shit." Logan continued as he is looking for an answer on your reaction. He isn't fond to these kind of trends but he knows damn well what pookie and bookie is.

"You know bookie but you don't know the b word." You questioned him.

username11: Bye i didn't know this is how the trend is supposed to go

loganlover34: Logan chronically online confirmed?

⋆.˚ George Russell

"So if i let you say the B word, how would you say it?" You asked george and oh boy he is ready as he already seen that trend earlier this morning.

"Okay it's something like this. Biiitch you look so fucking gorgeous or Bitch! You look so fucking gorgeous girl." George sassed waving out his fingers infront of you, "Aw you look like a little twink georgeyy." You stated pressing the e on the nickname as you know how much it cringe him off.

"Eugh, you are taking a piss." George pointed out at you with a disgust changing out his mood, til this day it still makes you laugh on how he acts like the videos of Paul and Morgan on tiktok.

⋆.˚ Lando Norris

: Babe, random thought. If i let you say the B word to me, how would you say it?

Lando reading the text out loud for the stream cause he couldn't show to everyone what contains you conversation. "Oh i think i know this one, It would be like. I love you bitch, ain't never gonna stop loving you bitch." He is saying what he is typing as his friends talk to the background.

Lando: It would be liek. I love you bich, ain't never gona stop loving you bicht.

: You are typing bich baby, that doesn't count.😭😭😭

"You are typing bich. Like bich, what the hell is that spelling right there. That's so british." He yelled at the mic reading out that one typo and ignoring the other.

⋆.˚ Carlos Sainz

"So would you call me the B word if i let you?" You asked facing the phone at him, he is very familiar of this kind of trend as the ferrari hospitality is flooding him with trends especially the "Watch carlos for a second" video.

"Bello. That's the b word i will call you." He smiled very proud of his answer, "Noo you know what b word I'm talking about carlos."

"Bebita, you know papa will kill me if he ever found out I'll call you something like that." It's true though Carlos senior already threatened him about saying things like that around you and to you. "But you know-"

"No. Bello that's the word." he cut you off.

⋆.˚ Daniel Ricciardo

"I already told you danny i wouldn't do anything if you say it." You have been laughing for solid straight 10 minutes now ever since you asked that question, "Bii... Honey i really can't say it." Daniel is like that one Noah and Lori video and that's why you are laughing because of the resemblance.

"Come on, do you want me to cheer for you?" You teased him as he has been jumping, walking, running or just doing anything other than saying the B word.

"Sorry i just couldn't bring myself to say it, okay i lost." He shrugged defeated before slumping down to your feet resting his head on your lap hugging your legs as if his life depends on it.

⋆.˚ Lewis Hamilton

"So how would you say the B word to me?" You have been asking the same question for fifteen times now as he is trying to avoid that question by changing the subject or asking something back at you.

"No i wouldn't say it it's either you will cry or you will be aroused." Lewis said before slumping down the sofa beside you and roscoe beside you.

"Lewis, what?"

"What, who said that?" him acting cool as he wrap his arm around you waist eventually reaching up to roscoe cuddling up the both of you as if you guys are the most fragile and comfortable thing ever in the world.

⋆.˚ Charles Leclerc

"If i gave you permission to say the B word, how would you say it?" You asked charles and yes it is a very easy question for him as cursingg at your significant others isn't a thing for him it will never be and he thinks that everyone thinks like that too.

"Hello beautiful." He answered before biting into his food, "That's sweet, but not that b word. The other one you know" You corrected him leaving out your food for a second for his reaction.

"Oh i didn't know you are into degrading when it comes to intimate stuff." Charles said before giggling like a teenager, "Cha you know that's not what i meant."

"Yeah but you are into it though"

⋆.˚ Fernando Alonso

Oh girl we didn't see that asking this on live is very bad idea. "If i gave you permission to say the B word, how would you say it?" You asked him placing the phone infront of both of you.

"My belleza? It's the best b word, it fits you." Nando confidently said placing a hand on your back rubbing it, "No i mean by the bad b word." You cleared him.

"My bitch, doesn't sound good. I prefer my belleza more, it fits you well especially when you look under-" You slap Fernando's mouth before everything went down for you as how it is already, "We are on live you oldie." you joked before jokingly throwing his head away.

username3: Got that on screen record lmao

username4: Fernando you nasty girl😝

⋆.˚ Oscar Piastri

"Oscah if i gave you permission to say the B word to me, how much say it?" You asked out of nowhere which made him give you a stank eye once again, "You know you are the B word but i will never say it to you." He rolled his eyes before continuing to type on his phone for his twitter post.

"So if i am there's still a possibility you will say it?" You asked once again pretty same question cause we know you are not gonna let it go, "No, leave it now miss girl before i make you." you know what he means by that and because of that you wouldn't leave him alone.

⋆.˚ Zhou Guanyu

"babe if i gave you permission to say the B word, how would you say it?" The first thing you asked in the early morning after a tiring night, "Woman i know this is a trap stop it right now." Zhou finally learned with all these stupid question you asked after failing many times and completely losing his mind.

"I'm just a woman to you know?" You pouted before turning your back at him deciding to cuddle sweetcorn who is sleeping beside you, "Of course not love, you're my woman." he stated before sneaking his arms around your waist and petting sweetcorn.

⋆.˚ Pierre Gasly

"If i gave you permission to say the B word-" yeah he knows it another chronically online men.

"No baby." Pierre said shaking his head from side to side, "I didn't even finished." You raised your eyebrows looking at him as if you suspicion him of something.

"Did your other bitch ask you this question? Why do you know this trend?" You asked pierre as he turned his head at you as if you are going crazy or something, "Are you okay? Literally every post i upload on Instagram your face is there." he tried defending moving his arms in the air while talking.

"So you are getting tired of it?" You asked again feeding his frustration as he just look at you with mouth agape.

[macden]

genuinely WHATTTTT was in the water when they made season 8. i wouldn’t be able to satisfy him a twank versatile that’s impressive. rob trying to kiss glenn to lighten a bad mood. mac gay sex tape. the bloopers of charlie’s mom has cancer where dr jinx asks if mac’s had sex with any men and he and dennis look at each other. I want you to get off with me. dennis getting mad mac won’t have a gay threesome with the caddy twink. dennis being fully on board to fuck the twink without mac anyway and needing a moment to fix his belt and switch gears. i’ll blow myself [stares directly at mac’s dick]. dennis nearly grinding on mac while dancing. dennis fantasizing about sucking british dennis’s dick. monthly dinner baby I tell ya I’ve been waiting for this for 29 days. say something nice to me. I knew it was going to be fine because this guy would be here to catch me if I faltered. the world is a safer place when he’s around. public serenade. did you ever know that you’re my hero ‘cause you are the wind beneath my wings. basically every time dennis looks at mac. it makes me crazy.

[paulic]

Ok this is what I think the biopics will be like for each Beatle:

John will be so troubled but in a really charming way and Julian will be mentioned but briefly and they’ll make it seem like John was just too busy to be a present father (Paul will make up for it in a vomit inducingly cheesy way). His eating disorder, heroin addiction and other internal struggles (self-esteem, sexuality, maybe even gender,…) will go unmentioned or brushed over jokingly like haha he tossed Brian off, don’t we all at that age. He’ll be the cool and funny older brother & later genius who just couldn’t be confined within a band. They won’t have the guts to call his bullshit and therefore will automatically brush over his kinder and vulnerable sides. He’ll be reduced to a knock off version of the tortured artist blueprint. They’ll never pick up on his pathetic wet dog vibe

Paul will be the charming good guy who’s all in with the band. No mention of how he fucked over Jane and every other girl until Linda; he’ll be a musical genius, too, but in a prince of the people sort of way. They’ll loooove that he stopped eating meat, woke king!!!! Linda will be brushed over by making her into his soulmate wifey who finally helps the charming playboy with a heart of gold settle down. His depression and alcohol problem won’t be mentioned/reduced to feeling a little sad. He’ll be a little bossy sometimes but they won’t ever get it right how fucking annoying he could be. Straighter than a ruler. John’s brother, almost biologically. No homo. They’ll find a way to make the twink who fucked the entire population and had an ego bigger than Neptune into a straight feminist

George will be the indie underground smart Beatle and people on tik tok will start posting thirst traps of the actor with the caption “they don’t make em like this anymore” and then complain about real-George’s teeth. He’ll be so spiritual and smart and he won’t have an affair with his best friend’s wife at all and if he does it’ll be because of some spiritual insight, not because that man couldn’t keep it in his pants for 5 seconds. I’m deadly afraid of the colourful drug scenes where he’ll hallucinate god. He’ll be the perfect boyfriend and Pattie will be played by Sidney sweeney or something. They won’t take a side with the whole George Or Paul debate during the breakup, but George will be too focused on other things to want to stay in the Beatles. They won’t mention the three billion songs John&Paul deemed unworthy. They’ll never do the grudges my man held justice. No one could

Ringo will be the funny guy who luckily survived his childhood and found his passion through a kind nurse giving him his drumsticks. He’ll play an incredible drum solo at 8 years old on his hospital bed frame the first time he ever holds those sticks. He won’t be in gangs, he won’t beat his wife half to death, he won’t have drugs and alcohol problems. He’ll be peace and love from age 0. He’ll be slightly stupid and he’ll mention octopuses too much. They’ll never get it right how he was truly the eldest and how much his vote and opinion actually counted within the band and how much the boys wanted him in the band and admired him. He won’t be a sort of glue to the band. He won’t marry a teenager he met when she was 16 and he 22. He’ll be a weird version of Ken from the Barbie movie, his job will be Drum. They’ll flatten a severely nuanced and layered man to a sheet of paper with the word ‘beat’ on it

I am too afraid to even think about what they will do to Eppy

Oh and each and every one of them will have way too pretty teeth and I am already furious. I want them to have British men in the 1960s teeth. Give me British teeth and jerking off together

[bloop-bl00p]

Rewriting Sir Pentious justice for the snake boie

Doesn’t anyone find it weird how we’re gonna have the backstory of everyone in later seasons?

Not only do they hardly follow the redemption aspects but they also give us little to nothing about the characters. I can buy that Heaven is corrupt and/or unfair but rather than having Adam throwing curse words and profanities every five seconds, why not show it in elements of the main cast backstory?

Reveal that they were essentially in unjust situations where they had no other choice but sins to survive, the type of stories that’ll make the audience think “Is Heaven fair in its judgment?” then you have the reveal that the system is corrupted. It feels like common sense to me.

Anyway, Sir Pentious wasn’t that much of an asshole in my rewrite, we understand why he acted the way he did but he still fucked up.

Madhav Karmakar was born in 1858. He was an Indian migrant in England who wanted to follow a partnership in engineering. Studying hard and else he worked ten times harder than the other students due to prejudice regarding his origin.

He made his way into a prestigious university and went out with his diploma ready to show off his skill but generally still faced racial discrimination. Throughout his life, Madhav had to do everything in his power to completely suppress anything that tied him to his country, fully adopting British mannerisms and culture, suppressing his accent, and else. At 17, he became an apprentice and started studying Mechanical Engineering, ending officially his studies at 24.

His hardship allowed him to work alongside others to develop steam machines and various ways of transportation. Despite having clearly mastered, and even ameliorated his domain, Madhav still had fewer opportunities compared to his colleagues and was paid less than the other regardless of the amount of work he put in.

What was first jealousy due to the unfairness of his situation quickly became Envy directed at his white counterparts. He started slowly destroying the reputation of his associates mostly by secretly sabotaging their work in various manners, introducing faulty designs, tampering with documentation, sabotaging equipment and tools, and anything really just to make himself feel better.

It lasted for years until one of his sabotages cost him his life. In 1888 at 30 years old, he caused one structure to collapse and the debris fell on him breaking his legs, he died screaming for help under the remains and suffocated because of the dust.

A few years following his arrival in Hell, he used his ingenuity to create steampunk-style machines in order to conquer territory. Problems, most of the lands were already owned by powerful Overlords. Madhav overestimated his inventions a lot so he got his nonexistent ass beaten all the time. He even gained the nickname Sir Pretentious though he still tries and insists on being called by his real surname (nobody does.)

The dude persisted, gaining the reputation of the village fool. Surprisingly for everyone he finally managed to get his hand on a very small portion of a territory… only for it to be snatched away by a punk rookie a week later. It would be easy for any Overlord to step up but they have their own business to take care of and some find it funny to see those two quarrel all the time.

Bit of a fun fact:

→ If I had to redesign him, he’d be fit with a large figure, we’re talking of the man who built this alone…

.. I doubt the egg boys can lift things too heavy considering they are fragile. So yeah, Madhav isn’t a twink.

→ The egg boys aren’t literal eggs just small mechanical robots he built to be his minions, if they were to break they’ll be gears everywhere but he could still rebuild them later. He wishes he could make them a bit smarter.

→ Snakes are very often associated with lies and manipulation and everything related to it. That’s what Madhav has been as a human, an envious liar. But, snakes can also symbolize renewal and rebirth in other cultures, and since he’s gonna be the first redeemed it kinda fits. I don’t know if Viv knew this but shout out to her if she did.

→ Keeping the romance with Cherry, I can appreciate a really good Enemy to Lover but the way it was framed feels like Cherry only got interested when she learned he had two dick, which feels icky and disingenuous.

So, I thought of slowly making their relationship more of a “Are they fighting or flirting” type of thing. That and having Cherry make comments between their fight like “You’re getting better at this!” which flatters Madhav because he never really had recognition for his fighting skills or invention.

He’s still a bit stuck in the old-timey way of courtship, and considering those things could last 3 to 4 years, with him you can expect the slowest slow burn possible. Anyway, he still respects lots of British traditions, being a regular correspondent and sending letters and gifts. I can see him asking to go on a walk or organize Rendez-vous to learn more about Bomb when his rivalry gets more friendly.

→ His obsession with fighting Alastor comes from the fact that he didn't manage to get up the stairs as quickly as the deer did. So he’s envious and seeks to beat Alastor in a battle to prove he’s the superior one, but he loses every time. His last chance is to side with the Vees, but Vox doesn't even bat an eye when he is near. So just imagine how ecstatic he was when Vox proposed to him to be a spy. While the first weeks were fine, he found himself getting attached to the staff more and more. It was a genuine environment where few people actually recognized him as the brilliant engineer he was (I thought he could actually help with the hotel construction since the building is old and all) and they actually called him by his name.

Not siding with Vox will be the first step to his redemption, renouncing to act of his envious feelings and focusing on what he already had rather than seeking to destroy those above him.

→ His lisp gets worse when he’s lying, he obliviously maintains a whole evil British persona in his quest for respect so as he slowly starts to get genius he’ll slowly start to speak with more ease.

→ Regarding how he’ll appear once in Heaven, he’ll be a human. I find it strange that you don't get to get your human appearance once saved. Viv said it herself, the reason why sinners look like that is because their appearance is in correlation with their sins, life, and the ways they die. It’s a way to mock them.

If this dude or girl gets redeemed, they’ll stay on a couch and that’s just sad, imagine you die go to Hell redeem yourself and you're still a furniture. Anyway, Madhav will get his human form back but with hints of his demonic form.

Kinda like Lovesart23 you should go see her videos and rewrite.

[chronicmisfit]

Showing my friend IkeVil

So a few warnings before I get into this: Alfons slander, Roger slander, Victor slander, Rude language in general, many random twisted wonderland references, and some risque images of a couple characters.

Sorry some of the coloration is fucked, I tried to fix it and can't.

Me = Orange Him = green

Alr here’s the first guy

He looks like he'd call me slurs while also being the gayest mf ever

sksksks Anything else?

Bro must struggle playing piano with them long ass purr nails I respect the dedication HE GOT THE COLOR PALETTE OF THAT ONE ROBOT THAT EVERYONE ON TWITTER IS MAKING CORN OF BOOTHILL??

Okay I will tell you about him now, and I want you to react again once i do His name is William Rex, he is one of my favorite two, he has the power to command someone to do what he wishes against their will, and he likes to help people become their own master.

Alright azul 2.0 I see what you’re doing Does he have a cringe gamer bf to top it off

He’s not the one I would compare to Azul

OOO I wanna guess which one it is

His curse is called the Curse of the Self-Righteous Monarch, so he's evil Riddle William’s* Is

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Alright so stick in the ass guy, I get it replying to 'William’s*', William Afton Ar ar ar ar

Next guy

That’s a whole ass final boss of twinks

Pfffff okay before I tell you more, do you or do you not think this is the guy who I would compare to azul

err no

you’re right

doesn’t give azul vibes from that stare He gives tiktok fuck boy

This is Liam Evans, he has the power to turn invisible from the curse of the Curious Cat (che'nya core), he is depressed and is so curious that he keeps trying to do things that would kill him

nvm i take back he’s cooler than any tiktok fuckboys

adfjhsflasjfhkdhkjlasfd HOW IS HE COOLER

Depressed Rizz or smth

Fair Next guy

sighs Sighs Sighs

what

Smash, sadly

ajdsalfjhkjasfd

IT’S THE LEANING ALRIGHT

that’s fine he’s the most normal boyfriend-wise of them all

BAHAHAHAH

if you ignore the pathological lying

All fictional husbands have to be a little insane its fine

His name is Harrison Gray, he has the power to tell when people are lying from the curse of the lying fox. He likes to read mystery novels.

I like him I want him

Lemme send you a NSFW pic if i can find one

WOOOOO

MC is a girl btw (L moment)

L MOMENT BUT HE’S FINE SO ITS ALR

next guy

Damn you thought you could slide in a french guy and have me not notice/j

HE’S ACTUALLY NOT FRENCH

AHAHAHAHAH

HE’S A BRITISH NOBLE

God bless

This is Lord Elbert Greetia, he is an Earl. He has the power to make someone see their saddest moment when he steps on their shadow (he has trauma from this). His curse is the curse of the Greedy Queen (Vil core). And he has an obsession with hoarding beautiful things (he is the yandere of the cast)

Dragon Core with the last one

dragon core omg you’re right I almost forgot this asshole’s name ;~;

HE LOOKS LIKE AN ASSHOLE

HE'S SUS (i still love him, but he aint a fave)

AHAHAHA

His name is Alfons Sylvatica, he can change people's perception by touching the nap of their neck and whispering in their ear. His curse is the magic mirror. He has probably fucked half the cast of this game.

Me personally? I think he’s cringe

OKAY BUT-

LOOKIT HIM

… Tempting

yes Exactly Next guy

NVM THAT ONES UGLY IM SORRY HE’S SCARY

adljhkfajkdfasdfafas

HE SCARES ME

I HATE HIM TOO DW

(Note: He grew on me since this convo)

HE’S WORSE THAN THE PREVIOUS I HATE HIM GET HIM AWAY FROM ME WHYS HE SO UGLY HE LOOKS LIKE HE’D HOLD AN ALPHA PODCAST

His name is Roger Barel, he can hear anything within 100m of him (selectively, so he wouldnt hear you fucking harrison). His curse is the traitorous huntsman (rook core but looks like trey). He drinks beer and wont stop flirting with Alfons' MC You see the resemblance right?

I hate that I see it Trey I’M so sorry you have to be compared to an ugly ass bitch

pffff Next guy

btw lemme know when you think someone might be the guy that reminds me of azul

emo He’s either really nice or manipulative ass

You’re right he’s def one of those

my bet has to be on the latest

wym

I mean he looks manipulative AGAHAHAH Sorry emo boy if you are not…

His name is Ellis Twilight, he has the power to bind people's hands together by tapping their head via the curse of the briar thorns. He is obsessed with happiness and will do anything to make someone else happy (once they have their happiest moment he will kill them) ([friend] likes him- [friend] is banned from playing the game for 2 more years tho)

Awe he's so sweet!!!! (What the fuck) AHAHAH

THIS GAME IS NSFW AND [friend] IS BB

AHSHS Yeah I could’ve guessed it was

like in alfons' route (unreleased rn) it goes so into detail-

I want him dead Negative rizz

AND ALFONS USES HIS POWER TO MAKE MC THINK THEY'RE LOVERS LIKE- IN CHAPTER 1 OR 2

BROTHER THIS GUY STINKS

Next guy

Is this the azul

There's only one more guy after this so i wanna wait until i send his pick before answering just so you know all the options What do you think of this guy

I like this one I would Bottom text Would He may look a tad bit evil but i’ll allow it

replying to ‘i like this one’, I don't (similar to crowley ah-)

OH A LOSER SO I LIKE THIS ONE EVEN MORE

This is Victor. We don't know his surname. We don't know his curse. We don't know his power. BUT HE IS THE DAD OF THE GROUP, dad jokes, cockblocking harrison and MC, magic tricks

(NOTE: I figured out what his power is since then-)

I want him

kskssksksks There’s like- no content for victor On tumblr

(NOTE: I found which tag the victor content is on)

I hate it here

Final guy

OH HELLO SAILLOOR

REAL

Is THIS the azul one

YES

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OFC

remember william-? he was one of my favorites? (one moment i need to get some images)

YEA

I’M MARRIED TO WILLIAM AND THIS GUY

HAHAHAHA WIN

HIS NAME IS JUDE JAZZA, he can put someone to sleep by tapping their forehead via the curse of the thirteenth wizard (idk why wizard, it's just malleus core-). HE IS A MOBSTER, A SADIST, AND HE GETS OFF BY BULLYING MC, I LOVE HIM He’s ellis’ boss btw

more like dude zaza BAHAHAHA

Jude and William are my husbands <3

Got two hands for the two of them

Jude legit would give you a check and tell you to write whatever number you want on it... but then make you work to pay him back for it. So he is sugar daddy, but also kinky William canonically would use his power on MC for sex while he's drunk So you like- Harrison, Victor and Jude?

responding to the william info, DAMN Nods

I’m gonna be doing harrison’s main story route after I finish william’s I’ll send you any nsfw or near nsfw ss i see

IM WINNING

[huevobuevo]

Alfendi and Katrielle are so fucking hilarious cause like. they’re both opposites on the same (autism) spectrum

Like here’s this obviously deeply traumatized well experienced inspector in Scotland Yard who goes to work everyday to solve gruesome cases where the corpse is fuckin mangled with a corkscrew up its ass and half its teeth missing who was found dangling upside down over a high school cafeteria

And then you have his food-obsessed younger sister whose built like a 9 year old and goes on wacky adventures with a talking dog and her emotional support twink ala Scooby-Doo style where practically every mystery they solve has to do with either marital problems, daddy issues, insane children, and/or Pure British Shenanigans™️

Oh also speaking of daddy issues this is their absent father (whom they both look up to and base their careers off of)

[savemehwsfrance]

first post how we doin..anyways since halloweens coming up this is what some hetalia characters would wear this year. little to no explanation.

Francis ‐ vampire lestat. i dont think i need to explain this one

Arthur - victor van dort from corpse bride. hes a british twink, victors a british twink, it makes sense. or he'd be damon albarn

Alfred - leon kennedy or jorgen von strangle from fairly odd parents. honorable mention might i add to marty mcfly

Ivan - he'd go as some niche russian pop culture reference just hiding the fact i have no clue what he would wear

Yao - he's "too old to dress up" (he just doesnt want to go)

Matthew - honestly..vincent perez in the crow-

Ludwig and Kiku - forced to be roman soldiers.

Feli - roman god or emperor or something (forced ludwig and kiku to match)

Romano - being the vibekiller he is goes in a jeans and a top that says "this is my costume, fuck off"

Antonio - soulja boy

Gilbert - also soulja boy cuz hes matching with antonio (he was whining the whole night that Francis didnt match with them)

Roderich - prisoner

Elizabeta - police officer (wanted to girlboss her malewife austria)

okay ive run out of ideas why are you still reading this.

[alexandersfyp]

Hi, I follow you on Instagram and I just wanted to ask you a small question, why do you dislike Alexaniel? I'm just a bit curious I think that it's the most popular ship in this fandom and I just wanted to hear an opinion on it from someone who doesn't like this ship at all, I hope that you are comfortable enough with this question.

Don't worry, that's a good question actually and I shall respond to it.

First I just wanted to say that I'm fine if you ship them or like this ship in general I can fully accept that, I am a very tolerant person if you ask. But in my case it's simply just not my thing and this ship simply gives me an ick, in fact it kinda always did for me being in this fandom for technically 7 years.

In my opinion Alexaniel completely waters down and erases the character traits for both Alexander and Daniel. The main motivation of Daniel during the game is to murder Alexander not to fuck him, both of these characters has a VERY toxic relationship between eachother. Alexander used and manipulated Daniel into literally killing and torturing people and Dan naturally wanted to take his revenge on him, he literally walked through the entire castle after losing his memory and with monsters around him all because he wanted to MURDER Alexander for everything he had done to him.

That because it is mentioned that Alexander at some point felt remorse about Daniel doesn't automatically mean that he was in love with him sorry not sorry. Alexander still in fact manipulated him into committing horrible things and the toxicity between both of them is huge.

My main reason now; I'm absolutely sick and tired of Alexander's beloved erasure in this fandom I'm aware that there are a lot of different interpretations on this matter but by my point of view Alexander clearly meant that he had someone who he really loved having them as a main reason why he wants to come back to his homeworld. No one will ever convince me that Alexander would choose a random British twink he knew for about 2 weeks over someone to which he wants to return for HUNDREDS of years. As someone who studied Alexander's character arc for a long time, it really pisses me off.

Xander's desperation to return to them (her in the case of my point of view) drove his actions for centuries, he clearly longs for them living in anguish because of that. (And that's a HUGE part of his character arc)

I'm pretty much sure that the SAME and only desperation Xander had, driven him into manipulating Daniel and overall treating him the way he did in the game. He doesn't (romantically) care for anyone else only his love for which he longs for, for hundreds of years, and in a case if he had to he definitely would kill Daniel if someone told him that by that he would see his beloved again.

Daniel wants to kill him as revenge for the way Alexander manipulated him into killing people and for the way he used him for his plans. Alexander had some scraps of remorse for Daniel, he cared for him but not that much because his desperation to come back to someone who he deeply loves and wants to return for years was always the main trait in his mind. Daniel wants him dead and Alexander feels a bit of remorse for ruining the psyche of a young man due to his sickening desperation but that's literally all. Alexander does NOT (romantically) love Daniel any slightest and vice versa.

Also if you have an Au sort of stuff where it all looks different for the purpose of shipping them it's alright. I'm just sharing my opinion why I personally dislike this ship and I strongly doubt that anything will change my opinion on it ever.

[alexsreallycoolblog]

ALEX: Ignore the fact I don’t have my contacts in and that I’m in my pyjamas

ALEX: But uh life update

ALEX: Hell is like awkwardly peaceful right now and I’m kinda scared

ALEX: There’s been no whining from Gregory, I haven’t been invited to any tea parties, nothing

ALEX: So it’s either they all hate me, or they’ve disappeared off the face of hell-

ALEX:…

ALEX: I think I’ve found the answer to my question

ALEX: This, is a fucking hell portal

ALEX: So some dumbass has been fucking around with the dead and didn’t say bye

ALEX: Maybe I should have listened to that British twink when he said he was gonna leave first chance he got

ALEX…

ALEX: I have to go in after them, don’t i?

ALEX: You have got to be fucking joking

[sw33t-oubliette]

malevolent mustve been so fucking stupid from the king in yellow's perspective like imagine youre a god and a piece of you gets torn off and bound to some british twink orphan boy and you spend months trying to get it back and when you finally get him in your domain where you can actually do shit you find out the piece of you is in a whole situationship with the twink . like what the fuck dude

[sometipsygnostalgic]

Finished JJBA part 3

So Iggy's death was fucked up in Part 3 but it was actually very different compared to the OVA, where he instantly got merced by Vanilla Ice instead. It made me really sad. Yesterday I was talking to my coworker about her dog that just passed away so this one took me off guard. It's crazy how Iggy did jack shit for the time he was there until he found the mansion by accident, and then he became a diehard Jojo because the fucking bird got his paw. The "human" voice coming from Iggy's thoughts was incredibly funny but the timing of Iggy showing us his character and resolve shortly before his death made it devastating.

Avdol's second "death" was almost identical to his first death except a lot more definite. Poor bastard never got to fight before he was vored. Avdol is cool-headed like Jotaro but he's more analytical and heroic so I really liked him. I wish he got more battles.

Kakyoin, RIP :( you had the worst stand but you were the smartest character. I thought the show did a good job at showing us how far hed gone during the D'arby race episode just beforehand.

Joseph's "death"... it's incredible how quickly Kakyoin was written off as dead but then Jotaro fucking resurrects Joseph with Dio's blood. I think it fits Joseph, it doesn't matter what you throw at this guy, he is not staying down. I found it hilarious the first thing he tried to do was prank Jotaro and then he nearly got re-killed because of it. Joseph has constantly evaded the "fate" defined for the Joestar family members of dying young and he is even still alive after his grandson and great-grandaughter get merced in part 6. He literally never dies during the entire jojos timeline.

I like how messed up Polnareff was that Avdol died saving him twice and then Iggy went and did the exact same thing. It makes it more satisfying when he killes Vanilla Ice a moment later, saving the others from a terrifying foe, and then when he hops in at the last minute to save Jotaro from Dio later. But then, again, Jotaro puts himself at risk to save Polnareff. I see Polnareff as the "heart" of the group. But I already know his weird turtly fate the next time he encounters a timeskip user.

Dio is a very fun character. Interesting how part 3 didn't bother reminding us about him and sort of assumed we already knew who he was, but at the same time you get the perspective of all the modern characters who see him as some terrifying charismatic demon. The people sticking around since Part 1 have seen that Dio is ultimately a very evil british teenage twink on an ego trip. We see some of his ability to respect the strength of others when he resurrects the loyal Vanilla Ice, but ultimately he'll freak the fuck out when confronted with someone stronger than him. He rage gamer tilts against Jotaro and makes himself vulnerable in the process.

I think this would've been solved more quickly if Joseph taught Jotaro how to use Hamon.

[watari-apologist]

top 10 attractive traits of watari, GO

ON IT, BOSS

10. extremely rich

the man is Absolutely Fucking Loaded. like if we take "L: wammy's house" as canon, we are talking multi-millions or -billions kind of rich. he owns real estate. if you're going to fuck him for no other reason, fuck him for the fact that he will shower you with expensive gifts

9. impeccable fashion sense

every outfit we ever see him wear in canon is FIRE. the trenchcoat + hat + mask combo? mysterious. alluring. if he had only ever worn this in canon, the death note fandom would have been shipping him with L from DAY ONE and never stopped. his suit? simple yet effective. he knows it's a classic for a reason. whatever the fuck that attack helicopter outfit during the higuchi chase was? literally So Cool. my man CANNOT MISS

8. good manners

he's a gentleman through and through. will keep your secrets, discreet as all hell. unfailingly polite even if he's torturing you for information

7. tall

according to "how to read 13", watari is 5'9" (175cm for people like me who don't know the imperial system) which makes him slightly shorter than L, but i categorically disagree with that. like, this book also tried to tell me that he weights 51kg/112lbs compared to L's 50kg/110lbs estimation and i REFUSE to believe that watari, a well-built elderly man, weighs only slightly more than a 24yo twink with an eating disorder. like come the fuck on. those numbers are all made up. watari has the vibes of a man who is 6ft, and tall men exist only to be climbed like a tree

6. loyal

he will die for you without question or complaint, and otherwise protect you with his life. anyone who tries to harm you will end up mysteriously disappearing within a week tops, never to be heard from again. no amount of money or persuasion would ever convince him to betray you. it's like marriage, but more romantic

5. the voice

i don't know how to explain this one to you. if you don't already get it, i fear you never will. but an endlessly calm, soft-spoken british accented voice can be Everything - and it is. to me. ALSO since we are on the topic of voices, this is my chance to mention lutz mackensy, who plays watari in the German Death Note Audio Drama (reset the clock, i mentioned it again). he obviously doesn't have a british accent, but he DOES have the sassiest and most INEXPLICABLY HORNY watari performance to ever exist. the heavy breathing and Forceful Dom Voice "Komm schon" during misa's torture scene have been living rent free in my brain since the moment i first heard them and i will Never Recover

4. really good cook

sweets, pastries, cakes, chocolates - you name it, the man can make it. according to "L - the prologue to death note: spiraling trap" (or whatever we're calling it these days), he makes ALL of L's sweets and is in fact so famous for his sweets making skills that he has a whole mysterious alias associated with it (phantom patissier my beloved). feeding L sweets to gain his affection is LITERALLY a game mechanic in communicator mode and watari has been doing it for like a decade before your fbi agent showed up on the premises. seduction via food is his modus operandi

3. really good cock

some people say that sex with an older man is gross, but those people are cowards. don't let them fool you. watari has decades of experience under his belt (literally) and will gladly show off his skills. he knows where the prostate is. he knows where the g-spot is. he KNOWS where the clitoris is. additionally, he owns two hands and one mouth and a wide variety of expensive sex toys if the dick isn't quite the right thing for your pleasure. you are not walking away from that encounter without At Least three orgasms (unless you're into that, in which case he will edge you within an inch of your life and then just fuckin leave lol)

2. handsome

i mean...

i could elaborate, but i don't feel the need to. as brian david gilbert once said: "i don't know what to tell you. if you're not attracted to this, you're wrong"

and finally, the NUMBER ONE ATTRACTIVE QUALITY that watari possesses:

1. problematic

he owns orphanages all over the globe and at LEAST one of them is a front for a super-detective training agency that traumatises children. he works for L, a guy who has zero qualms about violating human rights, and is in fact not only complicit in kidnapping, but is seen actively participating in ACTUAL TORTURE when ordered (watari_pulling_on_gloves.gif my beloved). he shoots a sniper rifle at an occupied, moving vehicle in the middle of tokyo without a SECOND'S hesitation. something is Deeply Wrong with this man. i couldn't fix him if i tried, but honestly? whatever is wrong with him is way more fun and interesting anyway, so i might as well hang around to watch the ensuing train wreck <3

[lyledebeast]

Knowledge and Fort Wilderness: Part 2

Unfortunately, I still have thoughts about this, enough to call for a wholly separate post. The Patriot is obviously ahistorical with regards to the 18th C, but the lack of internal logic governing who knows what about the protagonist is absurd for any era.

Adding on to the first post, isn't it wild that none of the British or even South Carolina Loyalists have connected Martin to Fort Wilderness, but Major Villeneuve has? For him to have heard about this from Colonel Burwell or any other Continental officer seems counterproductive at best. They expect these two men to work together efficiently; "Btw, this guy tortured your countrymen to death for vengeance/political efficacy" seems like an odd way to go about it. Most likely, he has this information from fellow Frenchmen's recollections of the Seven Years War: American Edition. But somehow all British participants who are still loyal to the Crown have complete amnesia about this incident and who as involved? Hmmm.

It's also extraordinary that none of Martin's children know anything about Fort Wilderness in spite of growing up in a community where their father is revered for it. Do they not have access to any other adults who are veterans of the French and Indian War? What about the children of those adults? If Gabriel has only heard of Fort Wilderness from the men who bought his father drinks, Martin was there to shut them down if they tried to divulge any further details. But then Gabriel goes off to war with other sons of South Carolina Patriot gentlemen for three years and . . . nobody told him anything? There was never any talk of Fort Wilderness after a particularly gruesome battle that had Gabriel going, "Dawg, please. My dad totally kept us in the dark. Fill ya boy in" (you know Gabriel Martin would talk exactly like this).

The same lack of logic holds for far more recent occurrences than Fort Wilderness. Immediately following the massacre in the woods. Tavington orders Captain Bordon to gather a patrol and "catch this ghost before word of his exploit spreads." A few minutes of screentime later, Martin's old friend is informing him of a rumor about 20 redcoats being killed in the woods by someone who used a Cherokee tomahawk: "a ghost or some damn thing."

How in the fuck did these words from Tavington's mouth end up in John Billings' ears? Moreover, neither Tavington nor any other British soldier ever mentions Martin using a Cherokee tomahawk despite the single survivor of this massacre being hand delivered to Tavington by Cherokee scouts! If anyone is able to recognize the handiwork of this specific community's weapons, they could.

Is Billings stepping out on Martha with a Cherokee turncoat? Is he, in fact, stepping out on Martha with Colonel Tavington? The film declines to answer these questions.

Either the rumor mill is owned and operated exclusively by Patriots, or the logic of determining internal knowledge is wholly external to the narrative. Villeneuve already knows about Fort Wilderness because it gives him and Martin something to talk about. Gabriel does not know about Fort Wilderness because the revelation gives him and his dad something to talk about. A backwoods family man has more intelligence on the massacre of twenty British soldiers than the British Army because . . . by any level of logic, this is stupid. I assume the British don't know about the tomahawk for some reason because, if they knew about that, I'd think they'd have a pretty good idea of who used it. The Cherokees are British allies in this war; men who used tomahawks against the British would be pretty thin on the ground. Even without factoring in the Cherokee scouts, Tavington knows who was in charge of the men he sent Gabriel with, and given that the bodies were discovered, he likely knows what happened to him, too. If he knew about the weapon . . .

Tavington to Wilkins: "The men who were killed were conveying a pretty twink I plucked from this address. Who is his father?"

Wilkins: "That would be Benjamin Martin."

Tavington: "Handy with a tomahawk, is he?"

Wilkins: "Hooooooo is he ever!"

Tavington: "Excellent! Where can we collect the remains of his litter?"

There, Roland. I shaved an unnecessary hour from your bloated film. You're welcome!

[wearebackbagels]

Information on the SAS ships.

A post for those who are new to the fandom and are CONF U S E D or those who want to know what this fandom has to offer. 

Timestamp for post: 17 / 12 2022, this is the current status of the ships. Mild spoilders ahead!

            Ship. Paddy Mayne x Eoin McGonigal, sometimes called Paddon.

Who??? The short, angry irishman( Paddy) and the taller irishman with black, curly hair and a wide smile( Eoin, appears in ep 1-3).

Descriptive tags. Angsty in the poetic, “one died too early” type of way, really beautiful, two-sided love, loss.

Canon content. Lots, great for all the canon-lovers out there, anecdotes found in biographies etc, new stuff is always ticking in. These two are a canon and irl couple what more could you possibly want?

Fanon content. Angst, fluff, basically all is canon complient, not much smut yet.

Widely known? Yes, this is the biggest and most accepted ship you will encounter in this fandom.

Ship status. Undead, one is deceased the other never lets go and therefore the ship is forever sailing the seas.

            Ship. Paddy Mayne x Augustin Jordan, called Maydan, MaydAn and on rare occations referred to as The Poet and The Philosopher, more of a descriptive nickname but everyone will know who you are talking about,.

Who??? The short, angry irishman( Paddy) and the lanky, french guy with dark hair and glasses( Augustin, appears in ep 5-6), they have an erotic scrap in the sand.

Descriptive tags. Brat vs Brat-tamer, love to get on each others nerves, shared love of poetry, horny.

Canon content. About as much as Paddon but every interaction these two have gives off the same vibe as a watersoaked, sparkling power outlet.

Fanon content. A lot of the fandom’s content is dedicated to this ship. Dirty as all fuck smut, headcanons, fics, AUs (so far: vampire/supernatural, modern, pirate), playlist, moodboard.

Widely known? Yes, this is the second biggest ship( at the moment).

Ship status. Alive

            Ship. Reggie Seekings x Johnny Cooper (x Mike Sadler).

Descriptive tags. Two huggable bears and their twink, super sweet and caring ship-dynamic.

Who??? The guy that looks a bit like Draco Malfoy( Johnny), the guy who is shirtless a lot, has a heavy british accent and lots of tattoos on his chest( Reggie) and the one who has a poker game in Cairo on Thursdays, is blond and is also in desperate need of a haircut( Mike, appears in ep 4-6)

Canon content.  Some, Reggie and Johnny have good chemistry and the real people the characters are based on were close irl. Interactions are subtle but interesting. Lots of anecdotes found in biographies that strengthen the ship.

Fanon content. Fluffy smut, smut, AUs (modern, supernatural, pirate)

Widely known? Yes and it is gaining recognition fast.

Ship status. Alive.

             Ship. Bill Fraser x Mike Sadler.

Descriptive tags. ? I’m not very famililiar with the ship.

Canon content. Non-existing.

Fanon content.  Some.

Widely known? Not really.

Ship status. Alive.        

            Ship. Paddy x Eoin x Augustin

Who??? See “Paddy x Eoin” and “Paddy x Augustin”.

Descriptive tags. Fix-it, more of a love-corner than a love-triangle, two of the characters never even met but that is easily fixed in fanon.

Canon content. None( ish). Two characters have a similar relationship to the third only in different periods of time.

Fanon content. Not much.

Widely known? No.

Ship status. Undead, one is deceased, the other never lets go and the third never met number one.

             Ship. Walter Essner x Herbert Bruckner.

Who??? The tallest of the french legionnairs, the one that got baptized as Mr Real Thing and got his hat kicked(Essner) and the other german, the guy from Dark (Bruckner, both appears in ep 5-6)

Descriptive tags. Angsty but in the ugly way, betrayal, friends or something more, outsiders being alone together, lies.

Canon content. Non-existing, the ingredients are there but you’ll have to squint really hard and use your imagination.

Fanon content. M I N I M A L.

Widely known? No.

Ship status. Ghost. Both died under *caugh* tragic circumstances.

             Ship. David Stirling x Eve Mansour

Who??? Adam from Sex Education( David) and the beautiful woman( Eve)

Descriptive tags. Two-sided love, really beautiful.

Canon content. Lots, these two are a canon couple.

Fanon content. Not much.

Widely known? Yes.

Ship status. ?, it is a bit muddy.

            Ship. Jock Lewis x Mirren ?

Who??? The small, eccentric guy( from GOT, Jock, appears in ep 1-4) and his hallucination  wife.

Descriptive tags. Really sad, beautiful but sad, two-sided love.

Canon content. Lots, but there are a lot of gaps to fill in.

Fanon content. None.

Widely known? Yes.

Ship status. Ghost.

I know I have forgotten some information because I can’t keep up with all of the ships being born and reborn in our conversations so if anyone could help me out with more info on Bill x Mike for example I’d be thrilled!

@rosescruensixxam @fergusfraserapologist  @homeahoy  @invisiblegargoyl @elkro  @akatsuki-rin   who have I forgotten this time?