#fuck me!!! fuck me!!! fuck me!!!
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AUUUUFHHGEHEB!!/&/92&1):?3!??&/!
#schlatt#i just needed to get this out#i need him to put me in a headlock with his big arms.#fuck me!!! fuck me!!! fuck me!!!#jschlatt#schlatt x reader#jschlatt smut#jschlatt x reader#jschlatt x reader smut#schlatt smut#jschlatt fanfic#jschlatt x y/n#jschlatt x you#schlatt fanfic#schlatt art#schlatt x reader smut#schlumbo#schlatt headcanons#schlatt x you#schlatt x y/n#schlatt x#jschlatt headcanons#jschatt#im wet just thinking about it
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filipina miku!! my mom helped me with her outfit ^_^
#THIS TOOK ME FOREVER RAAHHHH#i had help from my mom with stuff like the parts of the traje de mestiza which is the outfit shes wearing#this trend looks so much fun and i wanted to join in.. im first gen canadian though so ive never been to the philippines and only#know thru stories of my parents growing up. im proud of my heritage but there are some things i didnt grow up with that#make me feel disconnected from my culture. so it was nice to talk to my mom abt it and ask for her help with this :3#the pleated tapis is meant to resemble her skirt.. i had no way of adding her stockings but i noticed the piano key design#so i used that for the saya. the bandana is meant to resemble her hairties and shes wearing bakya wooden slippers with embroidery#i kinda wanted to add the panuelo to resemble her tie as a finishing touch but i forgor ;w; just imagine it i guess#my mom really likes this. shes a little confused abt the blue hair and i had to explain her hair is like that but she thinks shes pretty#originally i wanted her holding the woven pamaypay and fanning herself because ITS HOT ITS 25 FUCKING DEGREES TODAY#but i couldnt get the pose right so i settled for this. i wanna draw her and brazilian miku high fiving ill do that tmrw#my art#myart#hatsune miku#miku worldwide#philippines#vocaloid#miku
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shoutout to the guy who after unsuccessfully hitting on my sister and being politely declined asked her "is it okay if i ask your brother instead" and when she said yes gave me a long and searching look before sighing and going "no. i am not drunk enough to go for a dude. but you look like an angel" happy bisexual pride to this man and this man only. hope you figure it out soon king
#interestingly not the most harrowing thing that happened tonight no that was#getting recognized from a podcast. i hope that never happens to me again thats so fucking scary#fuck me and my wretched life why do i always end up exisiting in the public eye while detesting the consequences
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Guys I'm so glad everyone loves hit JRWI campaign: The Suckening so much. 12 thousand notes on just a thumbnail that's so cool. Anyone think about emizel pussy-out post revival
#i make yet anothet post just for me 👍#SHUT THE FUCK UPPPP#sorry. guy who lives in new york voice i need people on tiktok to get less annoying#1k#2k#3k#4k#5k#10k#20k#30k#lord kill us all its at thirty thousand notes...#40k#50k#60k
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compilation of this type of post
edit: idk how much this is gonna do but since making this post i got covid and need some help, please consider it
#juno.txt#'k smog and batboy caught flipping a grunt' and 'is chep a brambles company' get me so bad every fucking time#actually preemptively putting this in my fav tag just cuz they make me laugh so much#fav
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#tozzyn13#sexy and beautiful#hot as hell#so hot 🔥🔥🔥#onlyfitgirls#girl butts#beauttiful girls#photo sexy#sexy pose#sexy chick#so hot and sexy#sexy babygirl#natural body#bikni girls#superhot#so fucking sexy#temptation#sexy tattoed women#intimacy#intimate#seduce me#seduction#tattoed babe#tattoed beauty#lust#her wings#hot pics#que belleza!!#sexy tatoo#sexy pinay
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take responsibility
#my art#mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#this game got me real good. what a bleak fucking story but it will stay with me for a long time
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not romantic not platonic but a secret third thing [what would happen between earth and the moon if the earth stopped spinning as illustrated by xkcd randall munroe]
#'your moon is here' things that make me explode like a supernova#UGHHHHHHH what if i was perpetually in your orbit. influencing the tides. protecting you from asteroids. and slowly drifting further away.#then you stopped moving and i was only pulse to your dead heart. orbiting you. right where ive been left. and so you started turning again.#ria.txt#personal#space opera au#(<- not about what you think is about)#hiiii this is gaining traction so glad we're all going insane :D your moon is here is SO fucked up. so good.#xkcd#randall munroe#space#moon#anyways xkcd comics are so good. entertaining witty and informative. check em out!#ok this is about false and ren from hermitcraft#falseren
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work all night on a drink of rum
daylight come and me wan go home
stack banana til the morning come
daylight come and me wan go home
come mr tallyman tally me banana
daylight come and me wan go home
come mr tallyman tally me banana
daylight come and me wan go home
lift six foot seven foot eight foot bunch
daylight come and me wan go home
six foot seven foot eight foot bunch
daylight come and me wan go home
day
me say dayo
daylight come and me wan go home
day
me say day
me say day
me say dayo
daylight come and me wan go home
a beautiful bunch of ripe banana
daylight come and me wan go home
hide the deadly black tarantula
daylight come and me wan go home
lift six foot seven foot eight foot bunch
daylight come and me wan go home
six foot seven foot eight foot bunch
daylight come and me wan go home
day
me say dayo
daylight come and me wan go home
day
me say day
me say day
me say dayo
daylight come and me wan go home
come mr tallyman tally me banana
daylight come and me wan go home
come mr tallyman tally me banana
daylight come and me wan go home
dayo
dayo
daylight come and me wan go home
day
me say day
me say day
me say dayo
daylight come and me wan go home
#someone suggested i turn off reblogs. to that i say. i’m not a fucking quitter#esp when i get to see my husband dancing in my notifs every time this gets a note#since this reached 30k notes i wanted to say that people in the notes saying you shouldn’t feel safe around horses are right#story time :) when i was very little i got kicked in the face by a horse.#obviously this is very dangerous and i could have been concussed but there was no bleeding or bruising or no teeth knocked out#so my family didn’t believe me and even tried to convince me that it never happened at all. accused me of lying about it#it was specifically my grandma (who i realized much later in life was extremely emotionally abusive) who insisted i was lying.#but i remember it clearly. i know that it happened. i know that it struck my front teeth and knocked me to the ground#and i have never felt safe around horses since <3 or my family actually#ahem. i always felt safe around my grandparents. ‘‘not anymore’’ said knife grandma
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Okay so I'm a security guard, right
And part of why I like my job is cause I'm pretty good at deescalating conflicts without violence or police involvement
And that *might* be because my primary coping mechanism for stress is humor, and if the guy in the uniform isn't stressed out, usually nobody else is either
But anyhow today I witnessed a crime, which 911 had already been called for
And I'm telling the guy, you know, as he's running away, that nobody's gonna touch him, we don't do that here, I don't have any weapons and he can totally walk on out if he wants to
And he gives me this 'go-fuck-yourself" type answer, right? As you do
And I fucking
I fucking. Start danCING
I DONT KNOW WHY
I WAS JUST LIKE "aight guess I'll go fuck myself then, cheerio" AND START FUCKING DANCING
LIKE MY BRAIN WAS LIKE "Cool not being attacked, gotta keep the witnessed calm, gotta stay chill and breezy" AND THE PHYSICAL RESPONSE FOR THAT WAS TO SYART DOING THIS SASSY FUCKING JIG
I DIDNT EVEN REALIZR I WAS FDOUNG IT UNTIL SOMEONE POIU TED IT OUT AFTER
and it all ended fine and the dude is in custody and I get a call from my boss like "Yeah we're gonna need to send footage to police"
AND
FUCKING
THIS IS GOING TO BE SHOWN IN COURT SOMEWHERE
IM DOUNG A SRUPID LITTLE DANCE ON CAMERA AS THIS GUY LOSES HIS MIND AND ITS GONNA BE ON COURT SOMEWHERW
THIS IS THE STUPIDEST FUCKING THING IVE WVER DONE
I HATE MYSELFD
#Details changed for privacy reasons obvs#But Jesus Fucking Christ#I saw the video I look like an idiot#Please Jesus God don't fucking fire me#Teablart#Well guys it's been nice I guess#Time to die in a hole
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HAVE YOU SEEN SCHLATT IN THE SUIT IN THE NEW CHUCKLE SAMMY EPISODE MY GAWDDD
YESS GOOD GAWD
LORDD I NEED IT IN EVERY HOLE ALL NIGHT ALL DAY UNTIL THE BED BREAKS UNTILTHE HOUSE COLLAPSES UNTIL THE POLICE COME FOR A WELFARE CHECK
THIS IS THE GREED THEY TALK ABOUT IN THE BIBLE
#hes a cutie with no brains (i fucked them out)#hes so fucking hot im gonna do splits on it#fuck me!!! fuck me!!! fuck me!!!#schlatt x reader#schlatt#jschlatt#jschlatt x reader#jschlatt smut#jschlatt x reader smut#schlatt smut#jschlatt fanfic#jschlatt x y/n#jschlatt x you#jschlatt headcanons#jschatt#jschlatt fic#schlatt x reader smut#schlatt imagine#schlatt art#schlatt fanfic#schlatt x y/n#schlatt x#schlatt x you
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nearly had a medical emergency today because - and i cannot stress enough how little i am making this up - a helicopter landed in front of an open grain silo while i was getting off my ship and i am deathly allergic to the wheat that said helicopters rotor blades proceeded to blast in my face at full force. the cosmic forces are plotting against me ass situation to be in
#my brother going OH FUCK GLUTEN BLAST was funny though so points taken#if somebody has cast a curse on me or something can you please undo it i will meet your demands for ramson
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GIRL IN SEXY LINGERIE
#fill my pussy#finger my pussy#pussyplay#eat my pussy#lick my pussy#use my pussy#bd/sm puppy#1cky princess#needy princess#daddy's good girl#call me a good girl#good slvt#good pussy#hot as hell#so hot 🔥🔥🔥#so hot and sexy#sexy pose#body worship#pretty body#natural body#curvy and cute#tell me im cute#cutie w a bootie#daddy’s babygirl#thick babe#sexy babygirl#softcore#so fucking sexy#wet and needy#needy wh0re
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The worst trauma comes from those who you love
#gravity falls#book of bill#ford pines#stanford pines#bill cipher#billford#stanley pines#stan pines#grunkle Stan#the pines twins#tw stan#genuially was hard drawing that last panel cause it kept freaking me out#ptsd guy meme#No ford did not jork it he’s just a nerd who gets nerd magazines#based off those pop teen magazines from the 2000s#sea grunkles#yeah this joke has been beat to death but idc#comic practice#I fucked up which hand was holding the box oops#uhhh ignore that#trigonometry is a ridiculously hard word to fit onto anything#‘that’s not a right angle’ YOUR MOMS NOT A RIGHT ANGLE#it was in fact NOT right for him#get it
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"I should draw Māori Miku!" I said to myself. "Just a fun sketch, it shouldn't take me long" I said to myself. Six hours later I come to with this in front of me and a wrist begging for mercy but holy fuck worth it. I love this trend this was so much fun
PLEASE DON'T REPOST ON OTHER SITES!!! ASK ME FIRST!!!!!
DISCLAIMERS AND NOTES ETC.... I'm Pākehā, meaning I am not of Māori descent. I hold so much respect for Māori people, for their values and traditions, and for the fierce pride with which kapa haka is performed. I thought if I was going to design a Māori Miku, it makes sense to dress her in a kapa haka kākahu, as her whole thing is singing and dancing!!! The moko kauae is not based off any real person's. I referenced the temporary moko kauae a lot of kapa haka performers wear!! Was tricky finding out whether or not depicting her with a moko kauae was a good idea, so I went the safe route- showing an aspect of Māori culture without stepping over any boundaries!! Brown eyed Miku is everything to me shout out brown eyed Miku.... I referenced like seven different outfits to put hers together!! I really hope this looks accurate or at least passable. Thanks to adorkastock for the pose ref!!
#international miku#miku#māori#māori miku#miku trend#hatsune miku#international hatsune miku#miku fanart#artists on tumblr#character design#I think this is the longest I've spent on any drawing this year#six hours was not. an exaggeration#save me from myself. help!!!!#miku in your culture#<- not my culture. but thats the tag#described art#hhoooly fuck I can't believe I finished this#aotearoa
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