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#fuck i just love everything about the song okay
distantdarlings · 2 days
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A FAMILIAR ACHE // t. nott
RATING: R / 3.2K WORDS
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Theodore Nott x Fem Reader Insert
+ SUMMARY - *Requested, based on this* It’s been a week since you broke up with your boyfriend, Theodore Nott, but the urge to resist him is getting harder and harder.
+ WARNINGS - SMUT! (P in V) unprotected, mean!Theo, dom!Theo, sub!Reader, fem reader, oral (f!receiving), (1) spank, very light bondage, degradation, bit of praise, name-calling, choking (f!receiving), descriptions of fem masturbation (but no actual), slight voyeruism Theo keeps pushing even when the reader says no (but she’s mainly just teasing him, not actually disinterested), language, not proofread (lmk if I missed anything!)
+ MUSIC (listened to while writing) -
Ultraviolence - Lana Del Rey (have I already used this song?)
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You were fucked. Absolutely, totally, royally fucked. Everything that had led up to this moment implied that you’d be totally okay without Theo. But you were so very wrong.
It had been a week since you’d broken it off with him. His flirtatious, possessive nature had finally pushed you to your limit, and you’d called it quits.
You had thought you’d be okay, but you were wrong. You needed him—more now than you ever did before. The ache that filled your chest and your stomach and everything in between was becoming too much to bear. He was a jerk, but he was your jerk. And, right now, you were fidgeting in class from the amount of desire coursing through your veins. And it was all due to the boy sitting across from you.
He was watching you with those oceanic eyes, just as he always did—with a lidded, demanding stare. And if the two of you were still together, you would know that it meant you would be begging for mercy later today. But you weren’t together, and he was only doing it now to fuck with you.
He obviously hadn’t wanted to break up. That day, he’d sworn that he’d change everything about him you didn’t like. But you’d heard that lie one too many times. Every time you threatened to leave him, he pulled up that old story. That he loved you and would do whatever it took to keep you. But he’d proven time and time again that he was incapable of keeping his eyes and hands off other girls.
You knew that this was the right thing to have done, but you couldn’t help it. The want he forced into you was too much. You were too weak to handle it.
But you couldn’t break—you couldn’t run back to him like you did every single time. It was pathetic, how much you depended on him. And the way he looked at you now, he knew that you’d be coming home soon.
By the time the professor was announcing the end of class and you were gathering your things to head back to your dorm, Theo was brushing past you like he hadn’t even known you.
You were shocked at his nonchalance toward you and barely was able to keep your jaw from flying open. You almost wanted to say something to him, but you kept your mouth shut.
He was obviously just trying to get under your skin. The shitty thing was that it seemed to be working so far.
You cleared your throat and attempted to hide the blush on your cheeks by staring down at the floor as you got ready to leave the room.
If he was waiting for you to come sprinting back to him, he’d be disappointed. He was going to have to come back to you this time, or you would be done with him permanently. Besides, the only way you’d ever actually take him back now, was if he truly changed his ways—which was unlikely.
You rolled your eyes at the effect the stupid boy was having on you before deciding to head back to the dorm. With the heat that was running through your body, you figured it’d be smart just to take the rest of the day off.
Perhaps Theo was burning just as much for you as you were him. That thought kept you a bit calmer as you stopped before the entrance to your dormitory, whispered the password, then pushed through.
You jogged up the stairs with nothing but your bed and Theo in your mind. Unfortunately, that tended to usually be what was on your mind when your head was whirling and your stomach was hot.
No one else would be in the dorm at this time of day. One locked door and a slip beneath your satin sheets would have you completely set for the next few days.
As pathetic as it was, you had been insanely dependent on Theo in more than one way. Besides emotionally, no one had ever taken such perfect care of you sexually…and you feared that no one ever would.
It was almost as if he knew your body more than even you did. But you were just going to have to work for now.
You burst through the door of your dorm, murmured a quick locking spell, and sprinted toward your bed. All of your things dropped from your hands in the wake of your rushing body, clattering loudly and echoing like a drum. But nothing compared to the volume of your heart pounding in your ears.
A quick glance around the room allowed you to see that it was completely empty, just waiting to capture your suppressed moans like a net of stone.
Your stomach twirled with anticipation as you jumped onto your bed. In a rushed manner, you dropped your skirt down, leaving your stockings the only thing covering your legs. You loosened your tie, and ripped your shirt apart, allowing the cold air to caress your bare skin.
The only thing remaining on your buzzing body was an intact bra and bottoms, your loose stockings, and the ghost of Theo’s tongue and teeth.
You sighed aloud as you slipped beneath the sheets, letting the swirling material cool your hot flesh. If you could have, you’d have thought you’d start steaming.
“Fuck,” you shuddered, letting your hands slide down your aching hips. Nothing felt like Theo but you knew that you were the closest substitute.
One hand inched down towards your lacy bottoms, while the other toyed with your chest through the fabric of your bra. The rough material scraped against your nipples just enough to pull them into a standing position.
You’d only been here seconds, but a thin sheen of sweat had graced across your chest.
As your fingers began to slip beneath your pantyline, a choked moan left your lips as you granted yourself the relief you’d been waiting for ever since Theo’s eyes had met yours.
It was fucking stupid how dangerously he affected you.
And just as the tips of your fingers had begun to sink into your core, the door flew open with a force like lightning.
You gasped loudly and scrambled to cover your body with your blankets.
“What the hell?” you shrieked, your hair gathering around your face messily.
Through the curtains draped over the canopy on your bed, you glimpses Theo walking toward your bed.
“Hello, darling,” he purred. His eyes met yours cruelly as he dragged them up the length of your scantily covered body.
Your uniform shirt was still wrapped around your elbows and your tie settled loosely between your cleavage. The air still kissed the tops of your thighs.
He eyed you like a predator, and you watched him like prey as he circled ever closer. He stopped at the foot of the bed.
“Theo, you need to leave,” you whispered, your body practically vibrating with want. His scent was beginning to curl around your nose, threatening to overtake you as if you were drowning. It took everything in you not to tackle him.
“Mm, tesoro,” he breathed. His fingers slipped down to brush against your bare ankle. The contact pulled a gasp from you, and you quickly yanked your leg away from him. “I’m surprised you haven’t begged me to take you back yet.”
“I beg you?” you scoffed. “You should be begging me! You’ve treated me like shit ever since we got back together last time.”
“No, my love,” he said, beginning to slowly move around the edge of the bed. “It’s nothing to do with you, you know I just like to flirt a little.”
“That’s not okay, Theo! Why would that be okay?”
“You could flirt a little too, if you wanted,” he suggested. He was now standing over you, just to your right. “I know Mattheo’s been dying to get a taste of you. And I wouldn’t mind sharing…just a bit.”
Your stomach burned with his words. Your core seeped with excitement as every cursed syllable twisted its way into your mind.
Still, you refused to say anything. You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction by begging him to take you like you wanted him to.
He leaned down and pressed his lips against your ear.
“Come on, baby,” he growled. “Take me back and let me fuck you. I can smell how badly you want me.”
His words sent shivers down your arms. He huffed a laugh against your neck as he trailed the top of his nose from your temple down to your collarbone.
Your eyes slipped shut at the feeling as you wondered how you always got yourself into this situation. Every single time you’d gotten away from Theo, you always fell right back into his hands. It was like a game to him.
“It’s alright, darling. Let me take care of you. We’ll forget about all this. Everything will go back to the way it was, except I promise I won’t flirt with anyone else.”
Merlin, wasn’t that what he always said? Wasn’t that the very thing you swore he’d say? You should be running away. Why weren’t you?
Because the bend of his knuckle was creeping over your nipple, slowly and easily. You gasped slightly at the sensation. He knew what he was doing. He always knew.
“That’s it, my girl,” he murmured, pressing an open-mouthed kiss to your neck. Fuck, he was perfect at making you like him again. That was the way he’d locked you in in the first place.
“Now, my love,” he said against your skin. “What was it you were going to do to yourself?”
You said nothing, your eyes still clenched shut, still trying to refuse his seduction.
“What was it you were going to do while thinking of me?” His fingers slipped down your chest and traced the lines of your stomach.
Once he’d reached your panty line, he traced the edges of the thin lace, allowing the scratchy material to rub against his skin. The slight noise that echoed from the motion had you lightheaded.
His finger gently slipped beneath the waistband and tugged on them just a bit, pulling the bottoms up against your core. The sensation pushed black spots in front of your eyes.
“Fuck, Theo,” you whispered, a whine building up in your throat.
“Just tell me what you need,” he sighed against your cheek, “and I’m all yours.”
“Swear you won’t flirt with any other girls,” you demanded, eyes finally opening to meet his cold stare.
“I already did, my love,” he chuckled.
“Swear it again, Theo! Please! All I want is for you to be for me only.” You begged him with a clenched fist against his chest.
“I’m only for you, bella,” Theo smiled. “Can I fuck you now? Please, baby. Please? Just say the words, my love. Please, let me fuck you. I want to make you feel so good.” He begged relentlessly.
“Yes.”
And he was breathing a sigh against your lips, then pressing them to his. His tongue was slipping between your teeth and messily claiming your mouth just as he always did. Your lips were panting his name through choked syllables as his fingers were pushing further into your bottoms.
He was lifting you with his free hand and scooting you over so he could take his place beside you on the bed. He was separating his mouth from yours, only to start kissing down your neck. Then his tongue was on your collarbone, then your clothes breast, then your stomach, then your clothes core.
He was swirling his mouth over you and marking you so beautifully.
Your fingers were curling into his hair as he consumed you through your bottoms, teeth scraping and tongue dripping.
You were breathlessly whining his name to the cold air, begging to be heard by anyone around. Your knuckles were turning white as he pushed his hot mouth farther against you.
Then he was pulling away and helping you slip out of your bottoms. He was quickly replacing his mouth against you again, the lack of material in between you and his lips now sending a shockwave of pleasure through you. Your back arched against him, pleading for more.
Then he was turning you on your stomach, and letting the cold air hit your sweating back. His fingers massaged your ass roughly as he pushed your hips forward to see his dirty work covering your core. The beginnings of your finish mixed with his spit slid down through your folds. The sight alone had his pants tightening significantly.
“So beautiful, my love,” he whispered. With the hand that held your hips forward, he brushed his thumb down your core, marveling at the way you reacted so vividly.
His free hand trailed up your spine until he reached the back of your neck. He pushed your face roughly into the pillow. You whimpered at the sudden aggression.
“I hope that what I’m about to give you will teach you not to fucking break up with me,” he growled into your ear, all of the sugar in his voice completely dissipated.
You knew this was coming. It always did.
He slammed his hand down against your ass cheek, the pain rippling up your back and down your thigh. You screamed into the pillows, your fingers gripping into the fabric.
His hands wrapped around the tie still dangling around your neck, and yanked your head back to rest against his chest. You yelped at the sudden movement, the force of the tie pressing tightly against your throat.
Tears threatened the edge of your eyes. “I’m sorry, Theo.”
“Oh, it’s too late for ’sorry,’ baby.”
He dropped the tie and your face fell back into the pillows. His hands wrapped meanly around your hips and he yanked you closer to him.
With rough hands, you could hear him undoing his belt and yanking his pants down around his knees. He pulled your body up by the waist, pulling you into an awkward position. Your breasts and throat still pressed roughly into the mattress, but your hips were smashed against Theo’s now bare core. He was hot and heavy against you, enough to make you shudder at the sensation.
He grabbed your wrists from where your arms were flailed flimsily above you, and pulled them tight behind your back. With one large, structured hand, he clutched both of your wrists together, and pinned them against your lower back.
“You want me, baby? Is that what you want? Yeah?”
“Yeah…,” you whined, tears trailing down your cheeks. Because despite the pain and the malice Theo exuded, it never failed to turn you on so painfully. This was the kind of love you wanted, yet couldn’t find anywhere else.
“Yeah? Yeah? Beg for it, bitch. Beg for it a week after you said you didn’t need it.”
“Please, Theo,” you moaned. “Please, baby, I need you so bad. Please, I was wrong!”
“That’s it,” he chuckled meanly. “Such a good girl.”
And then he’s collecting all of the moisture around himself then pushing into you in one smooth movement. His hand is clenching around your arms and the tension is stretching your shoulders so far, they burn.
You could taste salt from your cheeks and lust from the fingers that he suddenly shoved into your mouth. You gagged around them pitifully as he forced more stimulation on you than he ever had before.
“Fuck, you take me so well,” he groaned, letting his hips sink deeper into you with every thrust. He kept you occupied from every angle, even going so far as to trap your legs tightly together between his own. You were secured and you couldn’t move. But why was it so perfect?
“Merlin, you’re so fucking pathetic,” he murmured. The pace he was beginning to set threatened to unravel you within the next few breaths. Every push of his hips against your core had your legs trembling and chills shooting across your arms.
“You think you can just leave me and move on? Huh? You think someone else could fuck you like this?” he demanded, bordering a shout.
You shook your head as well as you could with his fingers still curled against your tongue, reddened cheeks scratching across the mattress.
“Use your words, baby. Who could fuck you like this?” He freed your mouth.
“You! Nobody else, Theo! Just you!”
And he was quickening his pace and holding every part of you tighter. With the hand he’d just pulled from between your lips, he slipped around you and began to rub tight circles across your clitoris, allowing the last wave of pleasure to build to a height it’d never reached before, then crash down over you.
And you were coming all over your legs and his dick, and it felt better than anything he’d ever given you before.
You were screaming his name tied in with a refrain of curses and swears. It was the most pleasures he’d ever made you feel and, if it weren’t for the burning in your arms, and the eyes rolling back into your head, you’d have imagined it was a dream.
Once he had milked your spend, he was pulling out of you and flipping you over onto your back. He seemed to have no regard for the deep ache echoing in your entire lower half due to his violent assault of your core.
He reentered you as quickly as he’d pulled out, lighting your abdomen on fire. You helped at the sensation, the oversensitivity burning in your core.
“I’m going to come in you, sweet girl,” he said, placing his hands over your nipples. “Just to remind you who you belong to.”
His thrusts quickened and quickened before they slowly began to become sloppy, hips clapping lazily against the backs of your thighs. Then his built abdomen was tensing and his eyes were rolling back.
You were crying out his name and begging him to paint your insides, and he was groaning and releasing into you at a rate you’d never seen him do before.
Then he was collapsing onto your chest, bodies still within the other, while you planted unevenly.
“If you ever break up with me again, I’ll do the same thing but worse.” he murmured against your chest.
“Then you shouldn’t flirt with other girls,” you argued. “It’s as simple as that.”
“I don’t flirt with other girls, I just talk to them.”
“That is not the truth, Theo,” you scoffed, glancing down at him. Despite your annoyance with his words, your fingers still rose to caress his curls.
“I would just appreciate it if you didn’t do that any longer,” you explained. “Anything that could possibly be mistaken for flirting, just don’t do.”
“Oh, yeah? Or what? It’s not like I can’t just pull a couple orgasms out of you, and snatch you right back up.”
He glanced up at you, chin resting on your chest and eyes staring meanly.
“If you flirt with another girl ever again, I’m going to let Mattheo get that taste you were mentioning earlier.”
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Tag List:
@lilymurphy03 , @mypolicemanharryyy , @angelfrombeneth , @clairesjointshurt , @bunbunbl0gs , @acornacreacure , @niktwazny303 , @thestarlithideout , @sarahskakskskskajakwwnwjw , @yhiiil , @xxrougefangxx , @thatblackthorn , @robinyx , @starsval , @jolly4holly , @blvebanisters , @chgrch , @ilovehotmenandwoman , @smutnyrobocikwrakiecie , @synicaljah , @abaker74
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ladsofsorrow24 · 2 years
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i have to admit as an art nerd, chainsaw man's ending song 5 is my favourite
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plulp · 1 year
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IM NOT A DOCTOR BUT I THINK I MIGHT BE ABLE TO HELP
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hongjoongpresent · 11 months
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What about the FAMILIES. Hiding in their HOUSES. Did you think about that??? Tell me where is the JUSTICE. Did you even consider
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majorshatterandhare · 8 months
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Okay, accent/pronunciation post.
In Hereward the Wake, Tim pronounces “duty” with a /j/ (yod) which creates a pronunciation something like /ˈdjuː.ti/ in the IPA or “dyoo-tee” in English phonetic spelling. From what I can tell, this is one of two common pronunciations in English accents, the other being /ˈdʒuː.ti/ in the IPA or “djoo-tee” in English phonetic spelling. This second pronunciation features coalescence of the d and yod to create a dj sound. This can be contrasted by Rachel’s pronunciation of “duty” in Alice, which features yod dropping, and can be written as /ˈduː.ti/ in the IPA or “doo-tee” in English phonetic spelling. Although Tim is doing a very odd accent in Hereward, it doesn’t really matter in this case. In Riddle of the Sphinx he pronounces “introduced” with a coalescence of the d and yod (/ˌɪn. trə ˈdʒuːst/ or “in-truh-djoost”) and regardless of whether it is coalesced or not, as long as it’s not *dropped* it works for our purposes.
Okay, now we get into why this is funny to me. The yod-close back rounded vowel pair (/ju/ or “yoo”) comes to English from French. The French close front rounded vowel sound (/y/, I have no idea how I’d write this in English phonetic spelling, but make the inside of your mouth like you’re gonna say “ee” and your lips like your gonna say “oo” and that’s how you make it) came into English and was separated into /i/ and /u/ (or “ee” and “oo”) but then the /i/ was replaced with yod. This was not only applied to words that came from French, but also some pre-existing English words as well (and is now applied to foreign words once they’ve been in English long enough, like “Cuba”).
Now, when did the yod-close back rounded vowel pair enter English? Well, when was English heavily influenced by French? That’s right, when the Normans took over. And who fought the Normans? Hereward!
This lead me to the idea of an Anglish translation of Hereward the Wake. Has anyone done that yet?
[Note: information on the yod-close back rounded vowel pair came from this video by Dr. Geoff Lindsey; IPA representations were taken from the online Cambridge Dictionary and Wikictionary and adjusted where necessary (such as making “introduce” into “introduced”). Also I’m not actually positive that Tim doesn’t coalesce the d and yod in “duty”, it sounds kinda like both to me, but either way it comes from the French which is the important part for this post.]
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triglycercule · 10 days
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me when i find the PERFECT mtt song (yamitsuki,,,,,,,, maretu my king how did you do it,,,,,,,,,,,,, literally HOW did you do it why is this song weirdly accurate wtf and its for a completely different character 2??? HOW DID YOU DO THIS??? THE ENTIRE FUCKING SONG FITS??? THE ENTIRE SONG COULD BE MADE TO HAVE CONNECTIONS WITH ONLY MILD REACHING??? HELLO??????) (this translation!!!) (the translation is not.linking i will be shooting myself. its the on on the vocaloid wiki NOTthe video....)
literally like. 1/3 is horror. 1/3 is dust. and then the last is killer. in that order. the first 2 verses talk about bloodshot pain (bloodshot EYES.... HORROR'S EYE) and a rotting fatal wound (THE FUCKING HEAD CRACK!!! HIS GODDAMN HEAD WOUND!!!!). commiting brutality. i dont think much else is needed. wrong/right and judging biases,,,,, jesus fuck wtf. AND THEN in the next verse there's a mention of "starving for necessary evil" HELLO!!!! HELLO!!!!!!! him starving himself while also feeding snowdin human which totally sucks,,,,,, horror sans,,,,,,???? chorus of shrill voices (duh snowdin. or also could be undyne and royale guard. i like snowdin more). and then the last line of the second verse mentions sadism. nothing more to say. horror sans i mayhaps perchance mightve just encountered you in a song. or maybe the translation is freakily accurate and the song itself isnt that specific (probably but hey i can dream)
and then th next 2 verses r dust except i dont really know about the first verse but also a line that says "this is the death of the conflict, come and see me" could be referring to the human's death which like. man. and then the next verse is just dust sans but in a single verse. give me more excellent pain could be interpreted as LV but also the mental pain that comes with yk..... killing all you love.LOVE. LV. he needs more LV... anyways. mad off the beaten track. MAD. MENTION OF MAD LIKE CRAZY LIKE MAD TIME LIKE DUST SANS!!!! echoes of a haughty voice resound,,,,, phantom paps,,,,, "severe punishment, 100 renouned sights, i long for pure pessimism" i cant explain this one well i think but just think about it okay. this time you get to be the one coming up with the ideas (σ´∀`)σ
killer only has one verse that i can link this song 2 but i also think its th most freakily accurate. verse 1 is "through instantaneous joy, entertain me for my whole life, i'm cunningly"LUCKY". i get completely bored. give me pleasure without worry. and now, right away." and then "i'd rather head to eternal darkness. i'll abide by you always, emptily "HAPPY". i shed tears from my clear white eyes. come and show me your best smile!" HELP HELP HELP THEYRE SHOOTING ME HELP HELP!!!! THEY JUMPING ME (these lyrics) because WTFyhis isFREAKILY accurate. the entire first verse and its spiel on boredom and having someone else manage the entertainment/emotions,,,, and the cunningly lucky part is just. i think the word cunning is just really good to describe killer (sneaky little bastard) and then he's "lucky" emphasis on quotes because idk he got chosen for whatever the fuck his chara wants. what luck. really bad luck but whatever. and then MORE on the following another person and EMPTILY!!! EMPTY!!! KILLER FEEL NOTHING EMPTY!!!! fake happy too,,,, and killer has white eyelights sooo IM NOT REACHING!!! also he literally cries
in conclusion MARETU is a god amongst men and somehow this song managed to fit the mtt i have no idea how. next coming up: how NAMIDA fits horror. how thirst fits dust. how i'm high fits killer. idk if i already said this one probably did BUT JUST IN CASE maretu also has maegamist,,,,, maretu i knew i listened to you for a reason. so i could make totally irrational and unreasonable connections of your songs to the fucking murder time trio of all things. what joy
#me when i complain about not listening to music in english and then i see this GEM#yk what... its okay i'll never get to understand songs on the first listen#its OK that ill never get to have it easy when it comes to lyric translations...... ITS OK!#i might totally be upset that i cant just point to a song and be like this is mtt or something because i have to check the fucking wiki#this is your sign to listen to more vocaloid. you probably already do but like. LISTEN TO MORE#last years spotify wrapped for me was all pepoyo can i be considered a true fan now#everysong is murder time trio if you reach hard enough. if you just SQUINT..... you can see them in it#cannot believe ive been listening to this the entire time and i never checked the lyrics to see#see this is why!!! im missing out on mtt content if i dont check lyrics!!!!!!!!#and the songs a fucking banger too. i love how dramatic snd threatening it gets on the killer section#idk i just think the chanting in the background is cool. and so killer. thats him btw. he's waving wave back to him!!!!!#i cant WAIT for Spotify wrapped this year.... im so excited to see#i already know who's gonna be number 1 (my queen pepoyo) but still#i found lonePi later in this year so i wanna know if lonepi managed to beat maretu or not. probably not idk#theres a lot of songs i consider mtt related. theyre in a differently filed section of music in my head than everything else#tricule rant#days of not posting about mtt has my brain thinking about them in overtime#or these are just built up ideas from the past few days i didnt talk about. eitherway a person that thinks all the time#i dont feel like making more posts explaining those last few songs i mentioned in the last paragraph#if you read the lyrics on the wiki youll understand. if not you need to adapt my mindset
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snowychicken · 10 months
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MEET ME IN THE TIME OF HARMONY
SIP ON SUNBEAMS 'TILL THE NEW MOON
I'M NOT SURE OF ANYTHING I'M NOT SURE IF THAT'S TRUE
I KNOW THE GLOW YOUR ESSENCE TENDED IS THE ME I CHOOSE
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cherry-shipping · 11 months
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one of the (admittedly many) reasons i love love love LOVE my uf and ht self inserts i think is because all the shit i hate about myself is amplified with them and i LOVE them for it. theyre weird gross perverted overbearing annoying creeps who nobody really feels comfortable around. and its the BEST!!!!!!!!! like yeah they suck shit. they dont know anything and theyre genuinely disturbing and disgusting people. arent they just the BEST
#cherry chats#i happen to love girls who are the worst ever. is the thing#when my ht/uf inserts make everyone around them uncomfortable and gross people out and when nobody likes them i think its so awesome and fun#they both suck so bad. theyre awesome#they dont KNOW shit they cant DO shit theyre weird nasty FREAKS#theyre overbearing and clingy and creepy and selfish and completely fucked in the head. and theyre everythinf 2 me#^____^#i love my fucked up little self inserts. they are so not okay over there#had a visual image of my uf self insert lighting they and sans’ bed on fire cause he annoyed them. lmfao#blame kiss with a fist That song is everything in the world to me Ok#btw speaking of which i should really give my most common self inserts nicknames#because going ‘my uf and ht self inserts’ every time is a pain#like. my trollsona although i dont talk about them much is a favorite too and their name is zairku Cuz troll names etc#and in my head i nicknames my horrortale guy 207 for. some fuckin reason#ermm. whadda hell do i call that underfell freak then.#……………… cherry???? bc thats qhat i used to go by way way WAY back in the day???#and it. SORTA fits the general uf aesthetic…..???#well. just like how 207 was a placeholder that just became their nickname i guess cherry would be the same#if i called them that as a temporary placeholder while i think of something else itd just end up being their name anyway. lol#okie dokie hehehee thats good then ^__^ i think ill add that 2 my pages when i get out of bed#which is. very soon bcuz i wanna smoke. so im goin outside. its -4° out
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kittytheartist · 2 years
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IM GOING INSANE OVER TERUKANE RN GUYSS!!!!!!!!!
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#two worlds apart#im listening to songs#and juliet and fool by cavetown are driving me craaaazy#they really do think that they're unlovable and have no place by their loved ones but try their best for them in hopes they'll be enough#AND THEY FIND EACH OTHER!!!!#omg and the way they hate each other is sooooo🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈#ALSO FUCKING TALK TO ME BY CAVETOWN IS SO THEM LIKE I <3 IDIOTS#okay no wait they hate each other because they relate to each other too much#and because love is something you run from obviously#THEY'RE SO TOUCH STARVED TOGETHER#AND SO CUTE LIKE AHHHHHHH#the way TeruKane try to act strong but just want to be in each others arms LIKE AHHHH also gosh the pining is so top notch#THE ANGST THE FLUFF THE THE THE THE EVERYTHING!!!! THE HURT AND (sometimes) COMFORT#dont you just sit back and think about the first time the other saw one of them cry? like thats a little 🏳️‍🌈 but i wont say nothin#wait no really these boys deserve love like the way they hate each other is so denial like hear me out#feeling sick of myself think ill try to be someone elseee can't be hard to create a person in head a version the parallel~#okay i love TeruKane so so so much#THEIR LOVE LANGUAGE GETS ME SO BADDDDD LIKE I'M STAGGERING BACK HERE ISTG#they pine over each other while its requited but they're too stupid to notice#Teru come help the poor internalized homophobic fool#OKAY BUT IMAGINE THE FIRST TIME AKANE GOT TO REALLY LIKE COMFORT TERU ISN'T THAT SO CUTE#their dates would be so wholesome tbh like omg....#okay but they're so silly like them them them them#its so heart wrenching seeing them struggle to love each other and gahhhhhhhhhhh ITS 4 AM AND IM GONNA WRITE TERUKANE ANGST#like they try to love each other through the hard times but it feels like everything tries to pull each other apart and its like the#thing BUT THEY'RE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER PLEASE DONT SEPARATE THEM!!!!!#they're canon tbh .....like🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈 i aint sayin nothin but pretty sure you KNOW what im saying....💅#I CANT EVEN THE WAY THEY'RE BOTH ALWAYS ALONE AND NEVER NOTICED BUT THEN THEY FIND OUT THE OTHER HAS NOTICED THEM THIS WHOLEEEE TIMEEE#LIKE THEY SEE YOU FOR YOU!!! AND THEY WANT TO BE THERE BUT ARE SCARED TO NOT BE LET IN#THE WAY THEY FEEL EACH OTHERS PAINNNNN ITS SO SO SO SO SO AHHHHHH
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featherdawn · 1 year
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I've fucking cursed myself with an animatic idea that I never made and now any song that's about the way the internet fucks with ur psyche gets automatically associated with monika in my mind
#monika ddlc#doki doki literature club#the original idea was welcome to the internet by bo burnham and was mostly focused on her epiphany#and now ive got you liked this (okay computer!) by will wood and the internet has ruined me by wilbur soot on my list#the latter is funny bc im very opposed to animating her with a love song#i dont want to reduce a character arc about cosmic horror and derealization and the desperation for human connection down#to “girl sad boy dont love her so she kill girls boy love” thats so fucking lame#but i could make tihrm work#if i ever got MOTIVATION#but anyways. long rant i have many thoughts but dobt wanna derail my own post#thinking about like. monika discovering everything about our world through the internet and more importantly. social media#and so her worldview is gonna be warped by default#social media conditions people to view others not as people but as faceless entities#its not “10 000 people saw what you wrote and agreed with it/found it funny” its “your post got 10 000 likes”#its not that the person re arguinh with is a human influenced by their environment and upbringing its that theyre shitty by default#or alternatively its not that the person ur arguing with is someone with an influence on the real world its just a troll here to piss u off#things like doxxing. suicide baiting. threats of violence. child porn. theyre all things that we know are bad but happen regardless because#the internet is anonymous. its ok bc subconsciously the person isnt really human. theyre just another faceless user#this must affect how she views her friends#after all. theyre less than just users. theyre ai#it doesnt matter if theyre no different than her. it doesnt matter if the things shes doing are horrible#people on the internet have done similarly bad things to other humans. its fine. shes not a bad person. its fine.#deleting her becomes the equivalent of learning the stranger u sent gore to is your neighbor who uve had pleasant conversations with#the brutal realization that its not a faceless entity. its a human being you know and love. and youve done horrible things to them.#god i really need to make a video essay on this huh#if u read all of this character analysis mwah ily
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neverendingford · 17 days
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#tag talk#playing Polybridge 3 and I'm just reminded that I'm just genuinely not that creative or visionary#my whole life is been inundated with arts and science and I've been pushed to create and I'm just not that creative#I watch genius minecraft builds and cool dwarf fortress sagas and amazing bridge designs and I realize I am not like that.#I appreciate the art and creativity of others but I genuinely just cannot do that myself.#I recently sold my electric piano because I've realized that as much as I love listening to music? I just don't have the drive to create it#I love reading books but I don't have the drive to write stories myself.#I love looking at art but I just don't have the spark that makes me need to create it#and this sentiment gets perceived by others as me being hard on myself. like a self deprecating “oo I'm not good enough to make art”#and it's annoying because I'm not being emotional and sad about it. I'm simply taking stock of the fact that I do not have the drive for it#and that's fine. I grew up in a artistic family and I enjoy being able to appreciate art#but a big part of growing up has been learning to let go of the pressure to perform. the pressure to create and be an artistic individual#and just allowing myself to appreciate the beauty that others bring into the world without feeling the need to compare myself to it#everything I wrote as a kid was just blatant knockoffs of other stories I had read. songs I whistle are songs someone else wrote#and that's fine. that's okay. I don't need to create to enjoy life. I don't need to produce in order to be alive.#I am allowed to be content consuming the art that others have made.#and sure. every once in a while I make something. I'll paint or sketch or write a poem or make a new minecraft build or something#but I'm really just working on being okay with doing nothing for a while.#I used to be such a pressured hyperactive kid and I feel like my character arc is just me learning to chill the fuck out#learning to relax and do nothing and be okay with it.#I just don't have that drive. I'm not a visionary. I'm not a leader. not a creative soul. I'm not destined for great things#and that's okay. that's fine. that's normal. and I'm allowed to be normal.#after a whole childhood of being pressured to be better than everyone else. of being driven by others to perform to their expectations#I can finally sit down and breathe and still the churning in my stomach and slow down and just allow myself to chill out#and I'm happier like this.
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delicatetaysversion · 5 months
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it should be studied the way i immediately start crying after masturbating like girl where is the serotonin i was promised
#i just. the memories won't stop one after the other like a messy movie#all that talk about sex and love and a future together#all that teasing at night like oh think of me when you do it#and actually thinking of her for a whole year. how do i just forget#and the teasing the joking about who would play what role but both of us knowing exactly what would happen#but it was fun to tease#and the quiz the teasing referencing the quiz to make a point#and sometimes the honest convos truly vulnerable ones no teasing pure love and want#and sending clips on pinterest and them saying one day#and just. the full comfort and safety. and imagining your whole life with someone and suddenly you have to think aboit other people becaus#well they're gone. and they always said don't have hopes for the future i can't promise and i didn't listen#i think ive moved on but really i don't think i have just have gotten good at suppressing distracting#it's been. a little over a month and still it feels like everything is falling apart my house of dreams and hopes is falling apart around#me slowly and im just sitting in the floor crying#i shouldn't have listened to that gracie song i just. i saw her story and i thought she was going to release it and idk wanted to listen#one last time the youtube live version#ab aise lag raha ki back to square one#i keep having these thoughts involuntarily i don't know how to mske them stop#i remember few weeks ago i was hanging out with my bestie and i miss you im sorry started playing on shuffle from her playlist#and i was like fuck this song she told me about it we loved it gracie was like our artist#and i was like ok ill be brave and listen to it i have to one day na she's one of my fave artists#but we hadn't even reached the chorus and my bestie was like no and changed it immediately she must've seen something on my face#cause a hundred memories flashed before my eyes in those 10 something seconds#can u believe. having so many memories with someone you just text. what the fuck man i can't even remember my syllabus they should fade#okay goodnight
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thefestusfiles · 9 months
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willowfey · 11 months
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genuine question does anyone have any tips on how to manage prolonged constant extreme anxiety? like the kind where u have to always stay distracted bc any second alone with ur thoughts will send u into a nauseous pit. the kind that makes it so u never get a restful sleep and u never have an appetite and ur hands are always shaking and ur muscles are painfully tense. anyone know uh…… what i can do about that
(i don’t have insurance atm and my medical anxiety is far too high to get anything prescribed atm so i need things that i can do on my own other than breathing and i’m sick of reading articles)
#it feels like it did when my mom was sick and i couldn’t think about anything else for months#except my mom ISN’T sick anymore. so there’s no one reason i can point to#it’s just always there. my stomach hurts my jaw hurts my body hurts#i can do things to stay distracted but when the night rolls back around i feel like i’m trapped in a haunted house#i’m just so tired i wanna cry about it. i want to relax so bad. i want to feel okay and safe and rested SO FUCKING BAD#i didn’t used to be like this i hatehatehate it i don’t wanna be like this or feel like this anymore#not to mention my sister has such high anxiety rn too that even if i’m distracting my own brain she can pull me back into it with hers#how do i exist without being endlessly terrified of everything that could happen to anyone at any time?#without the constant painful awareness of every tick of every second passing by?#im like this close to a meltdown at all times. i’d rather be apathetic than this it’s breaking my bones#i’m physically safe in that i want to remind anyone reading this that i have never been yk. suicidal or anything it’s not like that at all.#i want to be here i’m just SCARED sgajshsnd i’m just shaky and tired and tense and aaaaaaaaa#i need help. idek what that means i just need someone else to tell me it’s gonna be okay#(@ the friends that DO tell me that every day. i love u so much i appreciate u so much. i wish my body would remember it)#i put my feet in grass today and touched a tree and made tea and cleaned the house and it helped a little. it did.#but i just feel like everything takes this constant conscious effort and it’s soooo tiringgggggg i just want to rest#i want to let someone else control my brain for a while#sigh#okay i’m done i just needed to scream about it for a moment#there are places to go and things to paint and songs to listen to#i will keep going. even scared. i just wish i were less scared.
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isa-renee · 1 year
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not me listening to these days by jackson browne for like a good five or six hours straight today
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landograndprix · 3 months
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•°. *࿐ 𝘣𝘪𝘳𝘥𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘧𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 ° ₗₙ⁴ - i
𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬
•°`♡ life is pretty amazing and but there's a void that, no matter what, you're not able to fill and yet the ‘solution’ is right by your side– you just need to open your eyes.
•°`♡ one jealous ex, one very love sick lando and a very annoyed friend
•°`♡ reader's nickname is giggles or gigs. Comments and reblogs are welcome ♡
𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭
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y/nusername
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liked by riabish, maxfewtrell and 97,563 others
y/nusername 'bout last week.
tagged: madmaddie, landonorris, faithiams, maxfewtrell
view all 892 comments
norry4 Maddie is such a mood 😂
y/nlando I smell a lot of new content!!
julieeeexo JASPER?!
↳ julieeeexo oh no my bad its lando lmao
haileywilliams wow, max is so cool
↳ maxfewtrell the coolest
y/nusername get off your high horse you short little man
maxfewtrell well that's just rude
landoscar 🌟 sibling core 🌟
yukisan every girl in here fighting for their lives thinking its the crappy ex who's building legos with our gigs 💀
bobnorris girl for a second I thought you were back with jasper and was about to write a whole paragraph until I saw you tagged lando 😭
↳ chilisainz fr I was about to lecture her again 💀
landoscar day 197394 of begging lando to introduce martin to y/n so they can make a song together
landosy/n and the lego dates continue 🥰
hannahh ma'am I'm in desperate need of new music
↳ maxfnorris don't think our version of tswift has been through a break-up recently 😭
hannahh our version of tswift 😭 I need gigs to fall in love again or get her heart broken for the 1000th time
pastrynorris the fact we all feel the need to tell gigs to stay away from jasper is sending me, that man really is trash 😭
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y/nusername
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liked by landonorris, pierregasly and 88,781 others
y/nusername little shits & gigs ♡
tagged: faithiams, haileywilliams, landonorris
view all 878 comments
landito just saw your story from last night, did lando get off the sim at all? 😂
↳ y/nusername take a guess bestie, men always disappoint :(
landito all men are the same fr :(
norrizz Monaco suits you girls <3
lanlan4 so we're not going to talk about that last picture? No? Cool, okay 😭
faithiams the actual love of my life ❤️
↳ landonorris love you too babes ❤️
norry4 lando 😭
faithiams wrong girl my guy 😉
yukisan last picture?!
madmaddie did he at least let you drive a couple rounds in the sim or what?
↳ landoscar this muppets going to replace me in the car this weekend, she was on fire 🔥
fewtrelllando stop it now all I can think about is lando watching gigs all proud and shit while she drives her little heart out 😭
lastlaplando last pic looking a little too much like a couple
carlandooo love how the girls got a place together for their lilttle girls trip but y/n decided to stay at lando's place instead 💀
↳ haileywilliams shocker
faithiams are we really surprised? No.
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y/nusername posted to their story
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jasjohnson replied to your story
jasjohnson
how cute
still wondering if you fucked him when we were together
jasjohnson
you don't need all that on your face, you know that right? you're prettier without it 😉
jasjohnson
I'm in Monaco as well, you wanna catch up?
hello?
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Everything taglist; @thomaslefteyebrow @hopefulinlove @smoothopz @softboystarkey @honethatty12 @cixrosie @parkersmjs @ireadthensuetheauthors @celestialams @be-your-coffee-pot @heli991113 @kodzuvk @reality-is-a-con @80sloverry @bibissparkles @myescapefromthislife @lanando4 @elliegrey2803 @ravisinghs-wife @harrysdimple05 @minkyungseokie @pretty-little-bunny382728 @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @severewobblerlightdragon @cherry-piee @namgification @mycenterfold @devineendevers @celestialend @jsjcue @d3kstar @themislovesf1 @geehsf @mehrmonga @gentlemonsterworld @destinyg237
Lando taglist: @beatricemiruna @simp-for-fictional-people @landossainz @christianpulisic10 @bored-brunette2 @i83andrew @mcmuppet @justdreamersdream @alltoomaples @jule239
bird of a feather taglist:
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