#fuck i hate it here so much i need this quarter to end before i do

[mashmouths]

one of my finals just got moved up by a WEEK and when the prof asked if anyone objected i was the only person to raise my hand so he said i could arrange to take it by myself at some point. killing myself.

[doctorbitchcrxft]

Houses of the Holy | Supernatural Series Rewrite | Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader (Eventual ;) )

Warnings: MNDI 18+ ONLY, canon violence, canon gore, SMUT, breast play, cunnilingus, p in v, unprotected sex (don’t do this irl pls and thanks), dirty talk, dom/sub dynamics, clit spanking, descriptions of religious trauma (there’s a lot of talk of the two things you should never talk about in here: religion and politics)

Word Count: 5892

A/N: need i say it again, goodbye, minors!!! Be gone!!! please!!!

Mobile Supernatural Series Rewrite Masterlist

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Every twenty or so minutes, you reloaded the FBI’s database you’d managed to tap into. You were getting incredibly anxious about Dean’s presence on their radar following the bank “robbery” the week prior. 

Sam went out to pose as a psychotherapy nurse to interrogate a woman whose personality seemed to have changed overnight after killing a man, claiming an angel led her to do so. You were placed on “Dean duty” after Sam insisted his brother stay here to avoid being seen. You were right on board with that idea, but you needed to stay behind to make sure Dean didn’t go stir crazy and leave stupidly.

A thousand thoughts swirled through your head as you wrote in your journal. 

“When I was on my own, I was a fucking expert at staying away from police,” you wrote. “Now, suddenly, I’m on cases with these two where every time I turn around, a cop is on my ass. I’m not super crazy about that idea. However, I don’t wanna leave them. They’re my best friends, and I know Dean is something more to me. I don’t wanna give that all up just because I’m starting to sweat a bit, y’know? 

“I am not one to shy away from trouble, and I’m loyal. Those are two qualities I’m super proud of,” you continued writing, “I just am worried. And I feel like that’s completely normal. But it’s a different kind of worry. I’ve never had to be concerned about two other people when I’m hunting. This is the first time I’ve had partners who are just as good as I am. And I’ve never cared about my partners this much. And in a way, that sucks.

“And what the hell was I thinking promising Sam that I’d kill him if necessary? Am I out of my fucking mind?? I don’t know what I’d do if Dean hated me. But I’d still rather him hate me than hate himself. I can go it alone again. I really could. I just don’t think I want to.”

You dropped your pen and scrubbed a hand over your face before pulling it through your hair. 

“Sweetheart. C’mere,” Dean groaned from the other end of the room. He was laying on a vibrating motel bed with his headphones in his ears. He’d been obsessively fueling the “Magic Fingers” machine with quarters. 

You headed over to him just as the bed stopped vibrating.

“Damn, that was my last quarter,” he huffed, taking his headphones out of his ears. He seemed not to notice you until that moment. “Oh, hey.” 

You sat on the bed next to him, and he was still laid out in the center of the bed on his back.”Whatcha need?”

“You,” he said, smirking.

You laughed as he pulled on the ends of your— his— shirt, trying to get you to lay on top of him. You happily complied, leaning forward to kiss him. Between kisses, you giggled, “Dee, we already fucked this morning. You’re seriously ready again?”

He hummed against your lips. “Always.”

You rolled your head away from him. “I have sex with you once, and suddenly, you’re insatiable.”

“I can’t help it,” he smirked. “You’re gorgeous.”

You faux-pouted. “That’s it?”

He rolled on top of you and kissed up your neck. “And smart.” He kissed you again, moving to your left cheek. “And badass.” He kissed the tip of your nose. “And sexy.” He kissed your lips. “I hate how much I need you.”

You mocked offense. “Why do you hate it?”

“ ‘Cause I don’t like to need anyone,” he replied. 

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, I need you, too.” You leaned up to him and pecked his lips before leaning back down on the pillows. “And not just sexually,” you clarified.

He chuckled. “Same here,” he told you earnestly.

You grinned widely, pulling him back down to your lips by the nape of his neck. He eagerly bit your bottom lip before trailing his lips down your neck. He sucked a dark spot on your collarbone, making you tug his hair and moan. He groaned against your skin before hiking the shirt up your body, swirling his tongue around your nipples. Still sensitive from your activities earlier in the morning, your back immediately arched into him and you keened, encouraging him to keep going. He switched to your other breast and chuckled as you continued writhing underneath him. “Wonder if I could make you cum just like this,” he said, looking up at you. 

“Stop teasing, Dean,” you whined, shoving his shoulders down to your pussy.

“Hmm, but it’s so much fun,” he replied. Dean skimmed his fingers down to the band of your underwear, playing with the hem. You sucked in a sharp breath and squirmed beneath him. “Why would I do what you want when this is so much more enjoyable for me,” he chuckled darkly.

“Dean!” you cried out. “Please!”

“Fine,” he responded. The man above you pushed your panties down your legs before dipping his fingers into your cunt. “So wet for me already?”

“Fuck you,” you murmured in embarrassment.

He tsked. “Is that any way to talk to the guy who made you cum three times this morning?”

“It is if he’s being a fucking tease,” you replied, running your nails over his abs just above his V-line.

He groaned at your actions before grabbing your wrist and pinning it next to your head. “Now who’s being a tease?” Dean used one hand to pin your wrist above your head and the other to grab your other. He pinned them above your head, instructing you to keep them there.

He moved back down your body, stopping when he reached your core. He eagerly ate you out like a man starved, and your hands flew to his hair. He immediately stopped. 

“What’d I say?” he asked gruffly.

“Sorry,” you replied sheepishly, grabbing the headboard above you to keep your hands there.

He moved back to your pussy, sucking your clit into his mouth and making you grip the headboard tighter. “Fuck, Dean!” you cried out.

He curled two long fingers inside you, groaning at the slick pooling between your thighs. Your orgasm was quickly approaching as he hit your g-spot with the tips of his fingers and continued harshly sucking your clit, every now and again swirling his tongue around it. 

“Fuck, fuck, please, I’m gonna—” And then he was gone. “What the fuck?” you whined at the feeling of his fingers leaving you.

“You don’t get to come until I say,” he growled. “You understand?”

You nodded eagerly, still white-knuckling the headboard. You spread your legs wide, fully displaying your pussy to him. “Fuck me, Dean.”

His hand came harshly down on your clit. You yelped in surprise.

“You don’t make the demands here, I do.” He spanked your clit one more time for good measure before shoving his fingers into your mouth. You sucked on them in earnest, closing your eyes as you licked them clean. Dean groaned at the feeling and freed his fingers from your mouth, gripping your throat as he bent down to kiss you. 

Before you knew it, Dean’s cock was inside you, making you gasp into his mouth. He sheathed himself fully inside you, and you locked your legs around his hips. He rocked into you roughly, each thrust making you come more and more alight. 

“Can I touch you?” you breathed out. “Please?”

“Beg,” he replied, still keeping his thrusts even.

“Dean, please let me touch you. Please, please, I need to touch you,” you groveled through shallow breaths. 

“Hmm…” he smirked, rolling his hips into yours roughly. 

“Dean! Please! Please!” you cried, gasping. “I need to feel you, Dee.”

“Okay, sweetheart, you can,” he said.

You were on him in an instant, one hand in his hair and the other winding around the underside of his shoulders. You kissed your way down his neck and nipped at the base of it, careful not to leave any dark marks; even though you really wanted to. Dean’s pace began to falter as you felt his cock twitching inside you.

“Cum with me,” he instructed you. He reached down to your clit, drawing rough circles, before burying his face in your shoulder. “Cum with me, now, (Y/N).”

You came with a high-pitched moan, your orgasm crashing into you suddenly. Your legs locked around the base of Dean’s spine, keeping him inside you as he came. You moaned again at the feeling of his cum spilling inside you. His thrusts slowed, and he pulled out, causing you to whine at the loss. Dean laid on your bare chest, breathless. 

You took a few minutes to linger in this feeling which you decided was your version of heaven. No monsters, no fighting, no police run-ins— just Dean laying on your chest, breathing in time with you. However, you knew Sam would be coming back any minute now.

“Dean,” you said, trying to wiggle out from under him.

“Hm?”

“We gotta get up, Sam’s gonna be back soon.”

“Who cares.”

“Me!” you squealed as his grip tightened around you. “I don’t really want Sam to see my bare tits!”

He kissed between the valley of your breasts, nuzzling your left one with his cheek. “But I wanna keep lookin’ at ‘em.”

“Dean!”

“Alright, alright.” He finally let go of you, and you pulled your clothes back on. This time, you put your jeans and the shirt you wore before you and Dean fucked for the first time that morning to avoid Sam knowing what had been happening. You headed back over to your laptop, and reloaded the FBI’s database page.

“What is so important over there?” Dean asked, coming over to you. 

You turned your laptop to face him. 

“Seriously? You’re gonna drive yourself crazy lookin’ at that.”

“Well, sorry, but I’m trying to keep you from getting arrested,” you scoffed.

He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “I know.”

You looked away from your computer and back up to him with big doe eyes.

“Stop fucking looking at me like that,” Dean growled.

You tilted your head in confusion. “Why?”

“ ‘Cause I’m not gonna be able to control myself if you don't,” he replied.

Despite your earlier activities, heat flooded once more between your thighs. “Dean—”

At that moment, Sam burst through the door. “Hey.”

Dean jerked away from you, and you awkwardly returned to the computer in front of you.

“So, did you get in to see that crazy hooker?” Dean questioned, scratching the back of his neck. 

Sam nodded. “Yeah. Gloria Sitnick. And I'm not so sure she's crazy.”

“But she seriously believes that she was... touched by an angel?” Dean questioned.

“Yeah. Blinding light, feelings of spiritual ecstasy, the works. I mean, she's living in a locked ward and she's totally at peace.”

You scoffed. “Definitely completely sane. What about the guy she stabbed?”

“Uh, Carl Gully. She said she killed him because he was evil,” Sam explained. 

“Was he?” Dean asked.

The brunet shrugged. “I don't know. I mean, I couldn't find any dirt on him. I mean, he didn't have a criminal record, he worked at the campus library, had lots of friends. He was a churchgoer.”

Dean paced around, all-business mode. “Hm. So then Gloria's just your standard-issue wacko. I mean, phew, she wouldn't be the first nutjob in history to kill in the name of religion. Know what I mean?”

“No, but she's the second in town to murder because an angel told them to. Little bit odd, don't ya think?” Sam countered.

“Well, little odd, yes, supernatural, maybe. But angels? I don't think so.”

“Agreed,” you chimed in.

“Why not?” Sam asked.

“ ‘Cause angels aren’t real,” you replied.

“(Y/N/N), there's ten times as much lore about angels as there is about anything else we've ever hunted,” the younger brother reminded you.

“Yeah, you know what? There's a ton of lore on unicorns too. In fact, I hear that they, they ride on silver moonbeams, and they shoot rainbows out of their ass,” Dean grunted.

Sam sat down across from you, deadpanning, “Wait, there's no such thing as unicorns?”

“That's cute,” Dean monotoned, “I'm just saying, man, there's just some legends that you just, you file under ‘bullcrap’.”

“And you've got angels on the bullcrap list.”

“Yep.”

“Why?”

“ ‘Cause I’ve never seen one,” you chimed in.

Sam furrowed his eyebrows. “So what?”

“So I believe in what I can see,” Dean argued.

“Dean! You and I have seen things that most people couldn't even dream about.”

“Sam,” you started, trying to mollify both brothers. “I think that’s his point. We can actually see that stuff. Hard proof, y’know? We don’t have hard proof of angels.”

“This is a– a demon or a spirit,” Dean continued. “You know, they find people a few fries short of a happy meal, and they trick them into killing these randoms.”

Sam sighed. “Maybe.”

“Can we just— I'm going stir-crazy, guys. Hey, let's go by Gloria's apartment, huh?” Dean begged you and Sam. 

“I was just there. Nothing. No sulfur, no EMF…” Sam trailed off.

“You didn't see any fluffy white wing feathers?” Dean deadpanned.

“But Gloria did say the angel gave her a sign, right beside Carl Gully's doorway,” Sam huffed.

Dean perked up at that notion. “Could be something at his house; it's worth checking out.”

“I don’t love that idea, Dean. Please… stay here, okay? Sam and I can handle it,” you argued.

Dean groaned. “(Y/N), I’m going fucking crazy in here. Please?”

You crossed your arms. “No.”

He went to say something again.

“No. Sam, you’re on Dean duty. I’ll be back in a few hours,” you stated firmly.

“(Y/N)—”

“Dean,” you warned. “I’ll bring you back some beers, okay?”

He huffed. 

“I’ll throw a burger and some quarters in there, too, okay?” 

Dean huffed again, but said nothing in response. 

You tugged your boots on, and Sam tossed the keys to you.

“Not a scratch, (Y/N),” Dean told you firmly.

“Yeah, yeah, I know.”

***

About two hours later, you returned with a six pack and burgers and fries for the boys. 

“Oh, (Y/N), thank god,” Sam exclaimed when you returned. 

“What, has he been that bad?” you asked. 

“I’m right here, y’know,’ Dean grumbled. “You bring any quarters?”

“Told you I would.” You chucked the roll of quarters and his car keys back at him. 

You put the six pack down on the table and began distributing the food between the brothers.

“Woman, you’re fucking awesome,” Dean groaned as he took a bite of his burger. 

Sam laughed. “So, what’d you find out?”

“Well, Mr. Gully had some pretty dark secrets,” you began. “I found three sets of bones buried under his house. Poor babies were kids from the local college who disappeared about a year ago. And get this; all of ‘em were last seen at the library.”

“Sick bastard,” Dean grunted. 

“So Gloria's angel—” Sam started, only to be cut off by Dean.

“Angel?”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Okay. Whatever this thing is…”

“Whatever it is, it's struck again,” Dean jumped back in through a mouthful of food.

“What?” you questioned.

“Dean hasn’t put down the police radio since you left,” Sam told you. “There was this guy, uh, Zach Smith, some local drunk; he went up to a stranger's front door last night, stabbed him in the heart.”

“And then I'm guessing he went to the police and confessed?” you asked.

“Yep. Roma Downey made him do it,” Dean quipped. He took a post-it note off the mirror. “Now, I, uh, got the victim's address.”

“Dean—”

“(Y/N), I am not staying here again. Just this one thing? Please?”

“No, Dee. I’m not taking that risk. You have got to lay low,” you insisted.

“(Y/N), how are you gonna stop me from doing my job?”

“Because if it involves putting yourself at risk, then it’s not happening,” you protested. 

“My whole job is risk,” he argued, stepping closer to you. “There’s just… an added level now.”

“Exactly. Which means we have to be that much more careful. Especially considering we have the feds on our ass. I’m not letting this happen,” you shot back.

“Hate to say it, Dean, I think (Y/N)’s right,” Sam jumped in. “I’ll go check out the vic’s house. (Y/N), stay here.”

“Fine by me,” you said. 

Dean grunted in aggravation, and flopped down on the bed after putting a few quarters in the Magic Fingers machine. You knew he’d probably stay angry with you for the rest of the evening. 

After a few minutes of silence and when the rumbling came to an end, you spoke up again. “Dean,” you sighed. “I’m not trying to be a huge ass, okay? I’d be angry with me, too. But this is just… It’s a lot. And I’m trying to keep you boys as safe as possible. And I wanna help Sam with this case, but I can’t if I’m worried about you not staying put, okay?”

Dean didn’t respond, and you thought for a moment that he’d fallen asleep. At least, that was until you heard him murmur, “Okay.”

*** Sam informed you and Dean that the most recent victim had been planning to meet with a thirteen-year-old girl. Your stomach turned when he told you, and Dean looked like he would’ve kicked the guy to hell and back given the opportunity. Sam also told you that both victims went to the same church called “Our Lady of the Angels.”

“That’s funny,” you’d commented. 

Following last night’s conversation with Dean, you felt more comfortable leaving him to his own devices. And so, it was up to you and Sam to go talk to the priests at said church.

“So you're interested in joining the parish?” the priest, who’d introduced himself as Father Reynolds, asked you.

“Yes, sir,” you replied.

“Where'd you say you lived before?”

“Fremont, Texas,” you said without missing a beat.

“Really? That's a nice town,” Fr. Reynolds noted. “St. Teresa's parish, you must know the priest there.”

“Yes, sir. He’s wonderful,” you nodded.

“You know, we're just happy to be here now, Father,” Sam broke in.

“And we're happy to have you, we could use some young blood around here.”

“Hey, listen, I gotta ask,” you began hesitantly. “No offense, but uh, the neighborhood?”

Fr. Reynolds sucked in a breath through his teeth. “Well, it's gone to seed a little, there's no denying that, but that's why what the church does here is so important. Like I always say, you can expect a miracle, but in the meantime you work your butt off.”

“Yeah, we, uh, heard about the murders,” you acknowledged.

“Yes. The victims were parishioners of mine, I'd known them for years.”

Sam quirked his head to the side. “And the killers said that an angel made them do that?”

“Yes. Misguided souls, to think that God's messenger would appear and incite people to murder. It's tragic,” the priest sighed. 

“So you don't believe in the whole ‘angel’ thing?” you questioned. 

“Oh, no, I absolutely believe,” he chuckled. “Kind of goes with the job description.”

Sam nodded toward the painting on the wall. “Father, that's Michael, right?”

“That's right. The archangel Michael, with the flaming sword. The fighter of demons. Holy force against evil.”

“So they're not really the Hallmark card version that everybody thinks? They're fierce, right? Vigilant?” 

“Well, I like to think of them as more loving than wrathful. But, uh, yes, a lot of Scripture paints angels as God's warriors. ‘An angel of the Lord appeared to them, the glory of the Lord shone down upon them, and they were terrified’,” the priest finished.

You nodded sagely. “Luke two nine.”

The priest seemed surprised you knew that. “Yes, actually.”

You laughed uncomfortably. “My, uh, my mom was a pretty zealous Catholic,” you explained as Fr. Reynolds began leading you out of the door. “She’d quiz me on the bible verses every now and again.”

You could feel Sam’s eyes on you while you began heading down the steps of the church. 

“Well, thank you for speaking with us, Father,” the brunet said. 

“Oh, it's my pleasure. Hope to see you again,” the priest nodded.

You noticed a collection of tribute items at the bottom of the steps; candles, flowers, pictures, and rosaries. “Hey, Father, what's, what’s all that for?”

Fr. Reynolds deflated a bit. “Oh, that's for Father Gregory. He was a priest here.”

“Was?” you questioned.

“He passed away right on these steps. He's interred in the church crypt,” he explained.

“When did this happen?”

“Two months ago. He was shot for his car keys.”

“God, I’m so sorry,” you told him.

“Yeah, me too.” The priest couldn’t seem to tear his eyes from his friend’s memorial. “He was a good friend. I didn't even have time to administer his last rites. But like I said, it's a tough neighborhood. Ever since he died I've been praying my heart out.”

“For what?” Sam asked.

“For deliverance. From the violence and the bloodshed around here. We could use a little divine intervention, I suppose,” he replied.

“Thanks, Father. We’ll see you around sometime,” you nodded solemnly. He headed back inside.

“Well, it's all starting to make sense. Devoted priest dies a violent death? That's vengeful spirit material right there,” you noted.

Sam seemed a bit uncomfortable.

“And he knew all the vics, because they went to church here,” you continued. “In fact I'm willing to bet that because he was their priest, he knew things about them that nobody else knew. Reconciliation and all that jazz.”

“Then again, Father Reynolds started praying for God's help about two months ago, right? Right about the time all this started happening?” Sam countered.

“Sam,” you sighed. “I know you wanna believe, but I’m not really sold on this whole ‘angel’ idea. Why do you seem so convinced?”

“I don’t know,” he shook his head. “But I do know that I pray. Every single day. I have for a long time.”

You startled a bit. “Really? I had no idea.”

“And what about you?” he asked. “What made you stop?”

“Well, like I said, my mom was always a bit of a zealot,” you began. “And… let’s just say I saw how well prayin’ worked out for her.” 

Sam shot you a puppy-dog-eyed look. 

“C’mon, let’s go check out Fr. Gregory’s grave.”

Sam followed you down to the crypt. It was a bit of a maze of stone hallways lined with numerous stone angel statues. You headed a little ahead of Sam deeper into the crypt. You turned back when you noticed Sam wasn’t behind you, and then suddenly felt the ground beneath you shaking.

“Oh, fuck,” you murmured before running to where you thought Sam may be. “Sammy?” you called. “Get the rocksalt out—” You halted momentarily when you noticed Sam’s slumped over form on the ground. “Hey! Sam! Wake up!” you cried, grabbing his face in both your hands. He jerked awake as soon as you touched him. “You okay?!” you asked worriedly.

He looked past you at the angel statue behind you. “Yeah. Yeah. 'm okay.” He seemed a little startled.

You helped him to his feet and led him into the sanctuary. “You saw it, didn’t you?”

“Yeah. Yeah, (Y/N), I saw an angel,” he said.

“You—” You shook your head, unsure how to approach this situation. “So. What makes you think you saw an, uh, angel?”

“It just, it appeared before me and I just, this feeling washed over me, you know? Like, like peace. Like grace,” he explained.

You swallowed harshly, feeling suddenly unsettled. “Wh—” You laughed uncomfortably.

“I know this is a lot, but I’m telling you, it spoke to me. It knew who I was,” he said.

You shook your head. “Spirits can do that, though, y’know that, right?”

Sam didn’t seem convinced. 

“Okay, let me guess,” you tried. “You were personally chosen to smite some sinner. You've just got to wait for some divine bat signal, is that it?”

“Yeah, actually,” Sam nodded.

“Great. I don't suppose you asked what this alleged bad guy did?”

“Actually I did, (Y/N). And the angel told me. He hasn't done anything. Yet. But he will,” Sam nodded.

You started pacing. “I don’t believe this.”

“(Y/N), the angel hasn’t been wrong yet!” Sam protested. “Someone's going to do something awful, and I can stop it!”

You scoffed. “You’re supposed to do something awful, too. Does that mean I’m just supposed to nuke you right now?”

“Y’know what? I don't understand! Why can't you and Dean even consider the possibility?”

“What, that this is an angel?”

“Yes! Maybe we're hunting an angel here, and we should stop! Maybe this is God's will!”

“Y’know what, Sam, if that’s what you believe, fine,” you sighed. “If faith is what helps you sleep at night and brings you a little peace, then, that’s great and I’m happy for you. But I cannot rationalize worshiping a god who’s gonna condemn me to a pit of fire and suffering for the simple fact of non-belief. I mean, think about it, man. He knows exactly what it would take to get every person to believe, and he still chooses not to show it to us.” You began to pace faster. “And, and? Why would homosexuality be the thing he chooses to put his foot down on? And if you are this great and good god, why is that love wrong? And if people believe in other religions, why does that mean they’re going to hell? What if they’re Buddhist and an exceptional person; they still have to go to hell? Hindu? I don’t fucking get it, Sam. And if my options are going to heaven with all the churchgoers— who are mostly hypocrites and these fuck-os who are abusing kids and murdering on Tuesday after just leaving church the Sunday before, then send me straight on down to hell. I’ll take eternity with actually decent people over these yuppies and troglodytes any day.” You stopped, taking a breath. “I’m sorry.”

Sam seemed shocked. “It’s okay,” he said, despite himself. 

You huffed, scratching the back of your head. “Anyway, I got some hard proof we’re dealing with a spirit.” You led him over to Father Gregory’s grave. It was crawling with mangled vines, and you crouched down in front of it. 

“That looks like—”

You cut Sam off. “Wormwood. Plant associated with the dead; specifically the ones that are not at rest. I don't see it growing anywhere else, except over the murdered priest's marker. It's him, Sam.”

“Maybe,” he shrugged.

“Maybe?”

“I don't know what to think,” he said honestly.

You sighed. “Okay. You want some more proof? I'll give you more proof.”

“How?” Sam asked.

“We'll summon Gregory's spirit,” you responded simply.

“What? Here? In the church?”

You nodded. “Yeah. Just need a few odds and ends and my journal for a séance ritual.”

“Oh, a séance, great. Hope Whoopi's available,” Sam quipped.

You deadpanned at him, “Cute. Seriously. If Father Gregory's spirit is around, a séance will bring him right to us. If it's him, then we'll put him to rest.”

“But if it's an angel, it won't show. Nothin' 'll happen.”

“Exactly,” you nodded. “And then we’ll know for sure. And then I can grovel in front of Michael or Zachariah or Castiel or whichever the hell angel it is and beg for their forgiveness before they smite me.”

“The hell kind of angel’s named Castiel?” Sam’s face scrunched up in confusion.

“Angel of temperance and serenity. Not traditional Catholicism, but I digress. I told you, my mom was a complete Jesus-freak,” you snorted. “Alright, let’s go get my journal. Hopefully Dean’s still there. I swear to god, I’ll send him to hell and back if he’s not.” *** Thankfully for Dean, he was right where you’d left him. He looked bored out of his skull, but he actually listened to you. “Jesus, how fuckin’ long does it take to talk to a priest?” 

“Not right now, Dean. Sam’s a little, uh, possessed? Cursed? Don’t know what the right word is in this situation. Divinely inspired?” you continued.

“What? He saw it?”

Sam nodded.

“We don’t have time to rehash all this. Now, Dean, you comin’ or not?” You turned to the elder brother.

“Wait, you’re letting me out?”

You scoffed. “Dean, you’re not a hostage. C’mon. We could use the help especially now that Sam’s been angel-drugged.”

Dean chuckled. 

“What?” you asked.

“Sam got touched by an angel,” he snickered.

You burst out in laughter, and Sam just deadpanned.

***

Your next stop was a small grocery store that you hoped didn’t have security cameras that would be able to identify Dean. Sam bounded out of the store holding a paper sack and chuckling. “Guys. I'll admit we've gone pretty ghetto with spellwork before, but this takes the cake. I mean, a Spongebob placemat instead of an altar cloth?”

“We'll just put it Spongebob-side down,” Dean shrugged.

Sam’s laughter subsided suddenly as he stared at someone across the street. 

“What is it?” you asked him.

“It’s him,” he replied. “That's the sign!”

“Where?” Dean questioned.

“Right there, right behind that guy! That's him, Dean. And we have to stop him,” Sam pleaded.

Sam started after him, but you and Dean held the giant man back.

“Wait a second,” you stated. 

“What are you doing? Let me go,” Sam grunted.

“You're not going to go kill somebody because a ghost told you to, are you insane?” Dean hissed.

“Dean, I'm not insane, I'm not going to kill him. I'm going to stop him.”

“Define ‘stop’, huh? I mean, what are you going to do?” Dean pressed.

“Dean, please, he's going to hurt someone, you know it.”

“Alright, come on,” Dean said finally. You moved to the other side of the car, and Dean quickly shoved you down into the backseat. 

“Dean. Unlock my door,” Sam commanded, still standing on the sidewalk.

“You're not killing anyone, Sam. (Y/N) and I got this guy, you go do the séance,” he nodded.

“Dean!” Sam called after you, but Dean was already pulling away. He followed the man who’d been holding the yellow flowers down a short distance down the street before the guy stopped in front of a girl. She got in the car with him, and your heart sank as you climbed into the front seat.

“I don’t like where this is going,” you murmured.

“Yeah, me neither.” Dean gripped the wheel tightly and started trailing the blue car again. 

The allegedly evil man soon turned down a dark alley, and you temporarily lost sight of him. Dean cursed, “Dammit!” and slammed the steering wheel in frustration.

“Dean, Dean, follow him, c’mon,” you begged, and he slammed his foot on the gas, turning down the alley he thought he’d seen the man head down. Thankfully, his guess was correct, and you and Dean quickly ran to opposite sides of the man’s car. You could hear the young woman crying and the man shouting at her as you approached. Dean punched the window, and you took that as your opportunity to quickly pull the girl out of the car. 

“Are you okay?” you asked her, grabbing her shoulders.

“Thank god!” she cried, surging forward to hug you.

You called to Dean as the man sped off in his blue car. “Dean! I got her, you follow him! I’ll catch up with you later!”

Dean nodded, sprinting back to the Impala and following the man out of the alley.

“Did he do anything to you?” you asked her.

She shook her head, still crying.

“Do you have any friends nearby? I’ll walk you to ‘em,” you told her. 

The woman nodded. “Yeah, um, my friend—” she hiccuped, “my friend Sarah lives around here.”

“Okay, can you call Sarah? Let her know you’re on your way?”

She nodded again, and you rubbed her back with your hand to soothe her while you started walking toward her friend’s apartment.

You got to know her as you walked to help her calm down and distract her from what had just happened. Her tears slowly subsided, and you seemed to have calmed her down by the time you arrived at her friend’s apartment complex. She hugged you tightly after announcing the two of you had made it. 

“Thank you so much,” she told you. 

“Anytime,” you told her. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

She nodded and headed up the front steps. She turned to you when she reached the door, waving goodbye one last time.

***

You somehow managed to get back to the motel. Surprisingly, Sarah’s apartment hadn’t been too far from it. You only needed to walk about thirty minutes before you stumbled upon it. 

“Hey,” you said as you opened the door to the Winchesters’ room. Both Dean and Sam were packing. “How’s everybody doin?”

Sam looked demoralized. “You were right. It wasn't an angel. It was Gregory. I don't know, guys, I just, uh—” he sat down on the bed. “I wanted to believe… so badly. It's so damn hard to do this, what we do. You're all alone, you know? And there's so much evil out there in the world, I feel like I could drown in it. And when I think about my destiny, when I think about how I could end up—”

Dean sat next to him. “Yeah, well, don't worry about that. All right? I'm watching out for you.”

The brunet smiled. “Yeah, I know you are. But you're just one person, Dean. And I needed to think that there was something else, watching too, you know? Some higher power. Some greater good. And that maybe…” he trailed off.

“Maybe what?” you asked.

“Maybe I could be saved.” He suddenly realized what he admitted and chuckled nervously. “But, uh, you know, that just clouded my judgment, and you're right. I mean, we've gotta go with what we know, with what we can see, with what's right there in front of our own two eyes.”

“Yeah, well, it's funny you say that,” Dean said.

“Why?” you asked.

“Gregory's spirit gave you some pretty good information. That guy in the car was bad news. We barely got there in time.”

“What happened to him?” you questioned.

“He's dead.”

“Did… Did you?” Sam asked.

The older brother shook his head. “No. But I'll tell you one thing. If— The way he died, if I hadn't seen it with my own two eyes I never would have believed it. I mean— I don't know what to call it.”

Sam’s eyes widened. “What? Dean, what did you see?” 

“Maybe… God's will.”

Series Rewrite Taglist: @polireader @brightlilith @atcamillanorrman @jrizzelle @insomnia-bookworm @procrastination20 @mrs-liebgott @djs8891 @tiggytaylor @staple-your-mouth @jesstherebel @rach5ive @strawberrykiwisdogog @bruhidkjustwannaread @mxltifxnd0m @sunshine-on-marz @big-ol-boat @mgchaser @capncrankle @chervbs @simpingdeadcharacters @nesnejwritings @stillhere197 @tearsforhan @take-it-on-the-run @iloveyou2mia @maxinehufflepuffprincess @ohgeehowdigethere @seninjakitey @berarenado @s0urw00lf @princessleahorgana @quarterhorse19 @isla-finke-blog @silverdoragon @karacaroldanvers @gayandfairycore @examishbookwyrm @star-yawnznn @real-sharena-h @fandomloverrr @metalmonki @onlyangel-444 @yu-winchester @benniwiththefanni @daisychaingirl @immagods @missmieux @yoongi-holland @littledebbieinabigworld

[yoongis-property]

ATEEZ FIC RECS 

last update: 09.06.2023

m- mature , f- fluff , a- angst , ☆- personal favorite

e2l- enemies to lovers, s2l- strangers to lovers, f2l- friends to lovers, bf2l- best friends to lovers, cf2l- childhood friends to lovers, fwb2l- friends with benefits to lovers, ex2l- exes to lovers, i2l- idiots to lovers

MASTERLIST

PARK SEONGHWA

click here for seonghwa masterlist

KIM HONGJOONG

⇢ A LITTLE SOMETHIMG MORE by @flurrys-creativity (established realtionship!au, a, m)

❝ Why didn’t you pick up your damn phone?” Hongjoong hissed, on the verge of exploding, “I called three times already.”.. ❞

⇢ MARIGOLD by @yoongiseesawmp3 (frat boy!hj, bf2l, f, m, light a)

❝ annoying frat boy!hongjoong. your best friend and the bane of your existence is probably the love of your life, and you’re not sure how to tell him. your mutual friend seonghwa knows about your true feelings for hongjoong, and he does everything in his power to get you two together. one halloween party, one rainy car ride and one emotional rollercoaster later, you finally get a taste of what you’ve been waiting so long for. ❞

⇢ PIRATE KING by @cybrsan (pirate!au, m)

❝ You are playing a dangerous game with an even more dangerous man, and you don’t know how much longer it can go on before everything falls apart around you. ❞

⇢ TELL ME TO STOP by @tenelkadjowrites (bf2l, m, ☆)

❝ Having been best friends with Hongjoong since childhood, you thought a camping trip might help breach the growing distance between the two of you. However, when a storm sweeps Hongjoong’s tent away, you find yourself in rather cramped quarters with him when he has to share your tent. ❞

⇢ THE BEST FRIENDS CODE by @tenelkadjowrites (m, bf2l) feat. hwa

❝ Hongjoong swears up and down that if you don’t touch each other, it won’t ruin the friendship...and what is the harm in blowing off some steam? ❞

seonghwa is in part 2 and part 3

⇢ THIS WORLD by @hongism​ (dystopian!au, m)

​ ❝ What he’s given you is essentially one chance and night. Nothing more and nothing less. ❞

⇢ TOUCH ME NOW by @slut4hwa​ (m)

❝ it wasn’t on purpose of course. the topic was already there so it kind of just slipped out.“yeah i’ve always wanted to know how squirting feels-” you blurted it out. fuck. ❞

⇢ WHAT HAPPENS IN A BLACKOUT by @tenelkadjowrites (kinda e2l, m)

❝ Stuck in an elevator with Hongjoong, the person you hate the most, you aren’t ready for when things take an unexpected turn. ❞

YOURE HONGJOONGS BIAS by @jnginlov​ (idol!au, f)

❝ when you and your group go on idol radio to promote your latest comeback, you don’t anticipate one of the hosts to be completely enraptured by you ❞

JEONG YUNHO

⇢ KILLING ME by @yoongiseesawmp3 (frat boy!yh, m, a) 

❝ after last year, yunho swore he would never live in a frat house ever again. that doesn’t mean he’s leaving the frat, though, so he moves into an apartment just down the street. and you? well you need somewhere cheap and walkable to campus, and yunho is leasing a room. so that’s how you end up living with the human embodiment of sunshine and puppies, but the more time you spend with yunho the more you realize he may have a darker side lurking beneath the surface. ❞

⇢ LIKE A DREAM by @cheollipop (established relationship, m, f) feat. mingi

❝ with only the orange hues of the lamp illuminating the room, they have you for the first time, and it feels just like a dream. ❞

⇢ OUT OF THE WOODS by @sluttywoozi (vacation!au, one bed trope, f2l, f, light m, ☆)

❝ You’ve been driving Yunho nuts lately and he just can’t figure out why. He hates being annoyed with his friends, so he’s been avoiding you. It’s difficult to stay away when you’re locked together in a cabin with seven of your closest friends, though. ❞

pt. 2

⇢ SUMMER NIGHTS by @honeyhotteoks (roommate!au, bf2l, m, f)

❝ he's your best friend and roommate, but during the heat of summer and the confinement of quarantine, you just can't seem to help yourselves. ❞

pt. 2

⇢ THE DRILL by @byuntrash101​ (m)

❝ yunho cant seem to pick up anyone at the club. for two main reasons, two problems if you will. the first one: his rizz level is negative and the second one... well it's bigger. much, much bigger. a huge problem wooyoung has named "the drill" ❞

⇢ THIS NIGHT TOGETHER by @honeyhotteoks (werewolf!au, m, f, a) feat. mingi

❝ you’re finally getting your dream job, working with some of the best dancers in the business, but a job change means a break in your healthcare coverage and suppressants these days are expensive. going into heat at the studio pretty much seems like the worst case scenario, but you find yourself in the care of two alphas who won’t let you go through it alone. ❞

unfinished!

⇢ TUTOR BOY by @cas-skz (m)

❝ After begging your tutor to help you with your last assignment, he agrees to help in return for a favor. He proves that even the most innocent looking people, aren’t so innocent. ❞

⇢ TWO IS BETTER THAN ONE by @songmingisthighs (f2l, m) feat. mingi

❝ Mingi’s sweater felt comfortable on you, it was warm and it smelled like him. Not just his perfume, but his own scent.. ❞

⇢ YOUR FAN, YUNHO by @hwaightme (game developer!reader, f)

❝ a bulletpoint-style wordstream of what it would be like if yunho was stanning you. ❞

KANG YEOSANG

⇢ FREAKS by @mingigoo (bf2l, m, a)

❝ after being friends for ten years, your triad friendship with Yeosang and Wooyoung is falling apart, all because of a simple game—spin the bottle. ❞

⇢ I´M IN LOVE by @anyamaris (m)

❝ You wake in a dream to be met with a dream inside a dream. ❞

⇢ OBSESSIVE by @mingigoo (e2l, fwb!au, college!au, m, f, light a)

❝ You tried to pay no mind to your brother’s friends and their flirty antics, but it always confused you when only one of them seemed disinterested in you. Even though you’d never admit it, he intrigued you—to the point where when you kissed drunkenly at party, you wanted more. And you were going to get it. ❞

CHOI SAN

⇢ FIRST THINGS FIRST by @sluttywoozi (college!au, f2l, m, f)

❝ San had hoped you were coming to the party tonight but he never expected it to end like this. ❞

pt. 2

⇢ HEARTWORM by @atinyidea (college!au, f2l, f, light a, light m)

❝ n. a relationship or friendship that you can’t get out of your head, which you thought had faded long ago but is still somehow alive and unfinished, like an abandoned campsite whose smouldering embers still have the power to start a forest fire. ❞

⇢ HEISTS AND CELEBRATIONS by @cheollipop (criminal!au, m) feat. woo

❝ with the stolen necklace secured around your neck, wooyoung slumped back in his seat, fingers gripping the steering wheel while his eyes remained focused on the overhead mirror, watching his two partners celebrate another successful heist in the back of his van. ❞

⇢ IN THE QUIET SPACES by @honeyhotteoks (established realtionship!au, f, m)

❝ a quiet morning snowed in at the cabin with san ❞

⇢ IT'S SWEATPANTS SEASON, OH MY! by @thisthatpinkvenom​ (jock!san, established relationship!au, college!au, f, m)

❝ autumn has arrived; the season of pumpkin spice lattes, corn and—unfortunately for you—grey sweatpants. those pesky little things have attached themselves to your boyfriend's legs like glue, and you're having a hard time keeping your mind out of the gutter. ❞

⇢ LET`S FUCK by @ughsimpp (m)

❝ hearing your close girlfriends talk about how their mans made them orgasm is an interesting topic but you couldn't really relate with them. in your past relationships (like 2), none of your ex's could ever make you reach that high. you kept quiet and listened as your friends continued to talk. ❞

⇢ MILKY WAY by @ad0rechuu (sm!au, idol!reader, f, a) feat. hwa & mingi

❝ It’s not everyday that your friends childhood friend turns out to be the girl that you literally have a fan account for, but for Seonghwa, San and Mingi it’s become a reality. being able to get close to your bias is great! even if she does have a raging crush on someone else… ❞

⇢ ODD EYE by @luvteez​ (sm!au, soulmate!au, college!au, f, a)

❝ when the public finds out that rookie idol choi san has a soulmate, he’s forced to retire from the entertainment industry and stays low as a full time university student and part time barista. never does he intend on finding his soulmate, but fate seems to have other plans for him. enter: you. ❞

⇢ OH HE´S GOOD by @yoongiseesawmp3 (m, f, ☆)

❝ san, a non-believer, has one of the best voices in the church choir, and maybe one of the best voices in the world. fresh off a break up, you’re not looking for anything serious, and he isn’t either... but someone definitely falls faster and harder than they should. ❞

⇢ ONE MORE REP by @cheollipop (personal trainers!au, f2l, m) feat. woo

❝ san got a little too excited watching you exercise in purple – his favourite colour – and wooyoung was nothing if not a tease. turning their attention back to you, they didn't expect to see you equally worked-up. ❞

⇢ PARTY OF THREE by @cybrsan (established realtionship!au, m) feat. woo

❝ Things take an unexpected turn when Wooyoung walks in on you and San. ❞

⇢ POP QUIZ by @yoongiseesawmp3 (college!au, f)

❝ who knew being late to class one day would lead to you kissing the cute ta a few days later? not you. but who’s complaining? also not you. ❞

SONG MINGI

⇢ AFTER LIKE by @sluttywoozi​ (plug!mg, light a, m, f)

❝ Mingi has been your plug for nearly three years now. You've always liked him well enough, but something has changed between you. What happens after like? ❞

part 2

⇢ ALL IN by @tenelkadjowrites (bf2l, m, ☆)

❝ A night of drunken debauchery with your best friend in Las Vegas leads to something you never could imagine. ❞

⇢ DITTO by @sluttywoozi (f2l, f, m)

❝ You've liked Mingi for a while now, but every time you try to hang out one on one, it turns into a group thing. Will you be able to act normal now that you've finally gotten him alone? ❞

⇢ DREAMER by @mingigoo (college!au, bf2l, m, f)

❝ you couldn’t live without your best friend, Mingi. You did everything together, and whenever you needed a shoulder to lean on, he was there. But when something suddenly changes how you see him, you’re not so sure you can stay friends. You wanted more. ❞

⇢ LIKE A DREAM by @cheollipop (established relationship, m, f) feat. yunho

❝ with only the orange hues of the lamp illuminating the room, they have you for the first time, and it feels just like a dream. ❞

⇢ MILKY WAY by @ad0rechuu (sm!au, idol!reader, f, a) feat. san & hwa

❝ It’s not everyday that your friends childhood friend turns out to be the girl that you literally have a fan account for, but for Seonghwa, San and Mingi it’s become a reality. being able to get close to your bias is great! even if she does have a raging crush on someone else… ❞

⇢ MIND OVER MATTER by @mingisaddctn (bf2l, m)

❝ the two things you can be sure in life is that 1. you will die and 2. you've never wanted to suck a dick so bad. ❞

⇢ ONCE by @tenelkadjowrites (roommate!au, m)

❝ After accidentally sending a naked photo of yourself to your roommate Mingi, things take a turn. ❞

⇢ ONE QUESTION by @tenelkadjowrites (best friends!au, m) feat. hwa

❝ I was wondering how long it was into the friendship before the two of you realized that you want to sleep together?” ❞

⇢ SHY CAPTAIN by @rosy-wooyoung (basketball captain!mg, college!au, f, ☆)

❝ “Are those credits really unavoidable?” you asked your friend as you counted the number of credits you earned for the past two years. “Yeah,” she answered and you huffed. “If you don’t take part in any extracurricular activities, you won’t get enough credits to pass the year. It’s written in the rules.” ❞

⇢ SLOWLY, I´M GOING DOWN by @yutasbellybuttonpiercing​ (college!au, m)

❝ mingi hates studying, but what he hates way more than that is being perceived as stupid. what mingi loves on the other hand, are pretty people getting flustered about his voice.

or mingi shows you exactly what he hates and loves. ❞

⇢ THIS NIGHT TOGETHER by @honeyhotteoks (werewolf!au, m, f, a) feat. yunho

❝ you’re finally getting your dream job, working with some of the best dancers in the business, but a job change means a break in your healthcare coverage and suppressants these days are expensive. going into heat at the studio pretty much seems like the worst case scenario, but you find yourself in the care of two alphas who won’t let you go through it alone. ❞

unfinished!

⇢ TWO IS BETTER THAN ONE by @songmingisthighs (f2l, m) feat. yunho

❝ Mingi’s sweater felt comfortable on you, it was warm and it smelled like him. Not just his perfume, but his own scent.. ❞

⇢ USE IT by @a-soft-hornytiny​ (m)

❝ Mingi has a huge dick but is shy about it and has no idea what to do with it. ❞

⇢ WE FELL IN LOVE IN AUGUST by @mingigoo (best friends brother!au, m, f)

❝ Believing that you were destined to be with your best friend seonghwa all your life, his little brother Mingi was never a thought in your mind. After reuniting with the brothers after years of being abroad, you had your mind set to get together with seonghwa—until Mingi stole your heart without warning. ❞

JUNG WOOYOUNG

⇢ GENTLE by @cheollipop (hybrid!au, m, f) feat. hwa

❝ desperate and whiny, your heat pheromones triggered wooyoung's feral instincts, forcing seonghwa to step in and teach him how to treat you properly. ❞

⇢ HEISTS AND CELEBRATIONS by @cheollipop (criminal!au, m) feat. san

❝ with the stolen necklace secured around your neck, wooyoung slumped back in his seat, fingers gripping the steering wheel while his eyes remained focused on the overhead mirror, watching his two partners celebrate another successful heist in the back of his van. ❞

⇢ MADE FOR THIS by @yoongiseesawmp3 (f2l, f, m, ☆)

❝ you’re volunteering for this year’s vacation bible school, and wooyoung’s little brother just so happens to be in your group. is it wrong of him to use kyungmin as his wing man? eh, who cares. wooyoung is just determined to get you to fall for him before the week is over, and he’ll do whatever it takes. ❞

⇢ MIDNIGHT KISSES by @mingigoo (bf2l, single parent!reader, m, f, light a, ☆)

❝ you weren’t sure how well you could raise your daughter as a single mother, but your best friend, Wooyoung, has been there every step of the way with no strings attached. When you decide that it’s time to try and date again, he realizes too late that his love for you doesn’t just stop at friendship. ❞

⇢ ONE MORE REP by @cheollipop (personal trainers!au, f2l, m) feat. san

❝ san got a little too excited watching you exercise in purple – his favourite colour – and wooyoung was nothing if not a tease. turning their attention back to you, they didn't expect to see you equally worked-up. ❞

⇢ TRY ME by @tenelkadjowrites (coworker!au, m, f, light a)

❝ Having to work with Wooyoung while your marriage is crumbling is frustrating. He’s a cocky brat and barely completes what he needs to. But when you find out your husband cheated on you, Wooyoung proves his worth in another way. ❞

⇢ PARTY OF THREE by @cybrsan (established realtionship!au, m) feat. san

❝ Things take an unexpected turn when Wooyoung walks in on you and San. ❞

⇢ PILLOW TALK by @jungkxook (fwb!au, m, f)

❝ so maybe asking your best friend to take your virginity is wrong for a number of reasons, but you swear you’re still just friends. nothing more, nor less ❞

⇢ SMILE FOR THE CAMERA by @yoongiseesawmp3 (youtuber!woo, brothers best friend!au, f)

❝ wooyoung is best friends with your brother, yeosang, so you get to see him a lot. that would be fine if you weren’t totally head over heels in love with him. now yeosang is onto you and you have to keep him from running his big mouth to wooyoung about your big fat crush. ❞

CHOI JONGHO

⇢ GET CLOSE TO ME by @honeyhotteoks (kinds e2l, m)

❝ you’re pretty sure he hates you. and you know you hate him, until a night out turns upside down. ❞

⇢ ...RAMEN BEFORE YOU GO by @mingigoo​ (neighbor!au, m, f)

❝ you thought things couldn’t get worse after finding a cat in the dumpster behind the liquor store, but now here you were, alone in your new apartment, staring at that damn cat that somehow got stuck behind the washing machine. You needed some strong hands….but the minute you met him, you didn’t want him to leave. Do you want some ramen before you go? ❞

⇢ PATIENCE by @sxcret-garden (established relationship, m)

OT8

⇢ HOTEL CALIFORNIA by @mint-yooxgi​ (yandere!au, a, m , f)

❝ You can check out any time you’d like, but you can never leave ❞

[arsnof]

ArsCo Presents the Inaugural Arsnof's Great American Yard Sard Comics and Sundry Sale 2024!

Hello there! I'm Arsnof. You may remember me from content such as "Canadian Illustrator", "Dungeon Mentat", or even "Transformers Meme". I'm here today to host a celebration of buying things, thinking they're so super cool, and then putting them away and never looking at them again. Comics, books, toys, anime, manga, CCGs, rare webcomic goodies, tiny figurines of yokai, a Little Golden Book adaptation of Gremlins that ends before midnight, Chuck Norris's Karate Kommandos, can you read Japanese because I can't, official Soul Coughing stickers, a hoard of well read Wizards and Toyfares, Funko Pops, feet pics (you can get off, but only if you can correctly diagnose what's wrong first), Transformers...

I could go on forever, but I got it, you want it, we can make a deal (no tongue).

Why is this happening? I'm shit broke and getting shitter. Going down like a Trump Casino. Guy paying his bills on time? I haven't heard that name in forever.

I've been taking care of my ailing father (tried to die on us three times so far this year) and the rest of my family (I don't owe you an explanation, cop) and then someone just up and decided to make my automobile a notomobile.

They didn't have insurance, but that's okay because we have full cov-*hand to ear*-what? We don't? Only comprehensive? Since when? FUCKING shit... Okay, but we still have uninsured motorist, so-four thousand? Four thousand. Dollars. $4,000. To replace an entire ass truck.

We are in desperate need of a car. I've got a lifetime of memories. You, on average, have some change sitting around. Can I have some? I'll trade you stuff.

I'm starting with my comics because they're easiest to catalogue. See something you like? HMU, as the kids say (please God don't let that be a sex thing) and I'll see what I can do. I'm giving the comic shop at which I used to work a vague preference, but I can be swayed.

Next up will be the trades and manga, DVDs of varied origin, toys, and so on.

Criminitly.

If life can stop kicking us in the gender neutral pain zone for five fucking minutes, @paulyollyoxxenfree and I will get back to handicrafts. They're getting back into the amiguroove and I'm going to hit the pad - finish and print Kitty, start Dr. Doctor. Stickers and stuff. I'm not shaving for a while to put me in mall Santa shape by Thanksgiving.

But what if you've got too much money and you're sick of it, but you hate being given things? I take donations. If you put a special request in the memo, I won't even give you the thanks. I'll just spit. I take requests.

Papal

Cache

Fuck, I don't know, antelope? My email - arsnof@gmail.com

I might make one of those kofi things.

Oh and, heheh, one more thing...

Launching in the fourth quarter 2024, ArsCo is proud to announce Alone With Arsnof, the happening new app that gives you the power to have some one-on-one time *gunshot* wit- *sudden fade to red-tinted black, gunshot echo. Sirens fade in. HE'S DOWN! OVER THERE! THE ROOF? A high-pitched whine. Bright light. The late afternoon sky comes into focus. Fireballs? The sun is so bright. Automatic gunfire. No, jets. Falling. Screams. Recognizable screams. Unrecognizable screams? Inhuman? The sun blinks*

[romanitas]

friends, pals, countrymen, etc - here we are nearly ten years later with the final installment of my percabeth spy au. still kind of shocked after all this time i managed to finish it, but thanks for coming along for the ride! <3

here it is on ao3 ! this one's for you, spy au anons. -

Annabeth goes to the stupid aquarium. 

It takes her over a week to decide to use the tickets, if only as a favor to Sally. It takes her another few days of backtracking through old notes, determined to make sure she goes on one of the days Percy isn’t volunteering. She logics herself into it by determining it’ll be a conclusion - she’ll create the real ending for herself where she started it all first. One more visit, because she honestly doesn’t know if she’ll be able to hit up this particular aquarium ever again. She can say goodbye and create her own bookend. 

She wears her owl earrings, matched with a pair of leggings, with pockets, and a long tunic with an old jean jacket split open at one elbow. She doesn’t get to dress down much, with most of her wardrobe often carefully calculated for the task at hand. Today her only task is to look at some fucking fish and maybe get a strawberry milkshake from the overpriced cafeteria. She doesn’t even brush her hair. She thinks about inviting someone to come along, given she has two tickets, but she’s struck with the notion that she wouldn’t even know who to task. 

Reyna? Ridiculous. She’d get called out immediately for it being a bad idea. She almost texts Frank, but decides she needs to do this by herself. Maybe there’s a family she can pass off the other ticket to and that can be her good deed of the day. Sally would approve. 

She arrives at the lunch rush, slipping into the jellyfish quarter while most of the families are scurrying off to eat. She likes to say she thinks long and hard about her life, but mostly she allows herself to be distracted by the way they light up against the dark tanks. They float aimlessly and Annabeth wonders what the sensation is like as she watches them swim idly around, to be so weightless and mindless. 

She walks through the shark tunnel, dodging around running children. She spends a moment studying the arch of the tunnel itself, smiling to herself before she realizes. Maybe there’s a world out there where she did go the architecture route instead of espionage recruitment out of college. She doesn’t want to think about that, not when there are fish to observe. There are so many fish. Too many fish. If she’s honest with herself, they start to blur together after a while, and only the brightly colored ones stand out. 

Part of her hates to admit it, but she starts to feel calmer. Steadier. Like when she walks out of this place, she’ll be Annabeth Chase again and ready to stop moping like a goddamn idiot. 

She probably shouldn’t have saved the penguins for last. 

There are babies now, and Annabeth finds herself smiling at them in the tank. They don’t look too young, but she can’t tell how far from infancy they are at this point. She’s no expert. She just has wikipedia. She tries to remember what she’s read or learned about them, and even though she’d rather not think of the source, she’s not sure she’ll ever forget the facts. 

She’s watching one of the babies slowly and carefully slide into the water when she hears him. 

“Annabeth?”

Her entire body freezes, and she wants to disappear, maybe into one of the artificial icebergs. She looks sideways in the glass and finds the warped reflection of Percy Jackson staring at her from the left. Unfortunately for her desire to submerge, the glass is only transparent for eyes and not bodies. She takes a deep breath without moving her chest and slowly, carefully turns around, looking into his face for the first time in weeks. 

He looks tired. 

Percy stares at her, befuddled, but he’s made the first move by calling out to her. She hadn’t seen him. He could have just walked away and left her ignorant to his existence, but he hadn’t. And maybe it’s just his ADHD, but she selfishly thinks maybe he made the choice to get her attention - which means she has no choice of her own but to acknowledge him in return. 

She swallows. And then she gestures stupidly at the baby penguin behind her. “Did you know baby penguins have to be at least four months old before they can swim? It’s their feathers. They aren’t waterproof at birth.” 

He continues staring at her, and she has to fight the urge to literally run away. “I do know. I’m pretty sure I told you that.”

Shit, he did, didn’t he? She had pre-gamed enough penguin facts to steer their first conversation, but anything and everything she learned since came from his wealth of aquatic knowledge. “Oh. Yes. I just - there are babies now.” 

“Born just over four months ago,” he says, and his tone is the faintest bit teasing.

“Hatched by the males,” she adds on, without thinking. Like his attention to her architectural rants, she seems to have absorbed far too much about penguins, because she could keep going, and it’s only force of will that she doesn’t. 

His mouth quirks, almost a smile. She doesn’t know what to do with that. She wasn’t sure she’d get to see him smile again, stuck with the image of only his anger as a final parting gift. 

“Did you put a tracker on me?”

Annabeth doesn’t know what to do with that either, and she sputters. It’s ungraceful. Unprofessional. And she feels ashamed, despite the way his tone still sounds like a joke. “No - Percy, no, that’s - ”

He grimaces. “Sorry. It was a joke. I’m trying to not be awkward. It’s not working.”

She would very much like the earth to swallow her up. 

“I wouldn’t,” she insists, finally. Like she needs him to know that. 

He pauses. “Jason?”

Annabeth wrinkles her nose. She hates this turn of conversation, but she wants to let him steer it this time. “There were never any trackers.” 

“What are you doing here?” he asks, pivoting away on his own. 

“I’m visiting the penguins,” she says, with only sincerity. He studies her, like he’s trying to gauge how truthful it is. She fidgets, then adds on, “You weren’t supposed to be here.” 

He actually looks shyly taken aback. “I changed my days at the station. I thought it might be…” Safer, is the word he wants to use, she knows it, but instead he lets it hang in the air. “So I had to switch my day here too.”

Annabeth thinks she really should have accounted for that, because Percy can be obtuse but he’s not stupid. It was probably one of the first things he would have done, and she feels stupid for not considering it in her own plans. 

“Your mom gave me the tickets,” is what she says next in lieu of anything else. That’s part of why she’s here, duty to a simple kindness from Sally Jackson. 

Percy’s expression becomes puzzled. “You saw my mom?” 

Oh. That surprises her too. She assumed Sally would have passed it along. She nods. She does not say anything about her own conversation with his mother, because that means he really is here by pure happenstance, and she doesn’t know what to make of that. Everything about her interactions with Percy Jackson from the start has been pure calculation, and right now she feels like she is flying on the seat of her pants. There’s no end game, no goal, just spontaneity. 

Maybe she should lean into that instead. 

“She bought me a coffee.” 

“That… sounds like her.” He pauses. “I didn’t tell her anything. About - you know, your job stuff. All she knows is we broke up.”

He says it like it’s such a normal occurrence. They broke up, like a real couple does. They broke up, they’re no longer together, and not because she shot a man in front of him and lied about her entire existence. “She was probably too nice to me,” she admits. 

Percy looks up and studies her again, and she swallows nervously, both under his expression and the way he doesn’t refute her comment about his mom. “What did she tell you?”

There is a part of her that feels like she shouldn’t go there, but the other, louder, part of her doesn’t want to lie to him ever again. “She - she said you were miserable.”

His shoulders deflate. “Well. She’s not wrong.”

Annabeth stares at him. 

“Look,” he starts, running a hand through his hair. It makes the dark strands stick up in multiple directions, and she needs to clamp down on the urge to fix it for him like she used to. “I was really mad. Part of me still is. But… it was real to me, you know? I can’t just erase what I feel. I’m still working through it.” 

Her expression falls, her shoulders heavy too. “For what it’s worth,” she starts, not sure it’s worth much of anything, “I’ve been miserable too.” 

Percy’s face scrunches up. “Even though it was fake?”

She bites her lip. “I might have met you under false pretenses. But I wasn’t lying to you, when I told you it wasn’t fake to me anymore. I spent so much time with you that I found myself wishing more than anything else it was real. I promise. If you believe one thing I say, believe me now when I promise that I’m never going to lie to you again.” 

He looks up at her, green eyes scrutinizing her like she’s under a microscope. Instead of trying to hide or put up a front, Annabeth simply lets the unhappiness hang on her like a shroud. Her bag is falling off her shoulder, the dark circles almost feel physical beneath her eyes, and her hair is a borderline rat's nest. She was always very carefully put together in front of him, even when she was trying to appear casual. Nothing about her right now is pre-planned for Percy. In some ways, she’s glad for it. 

He just watches her, and his frown deepens. She bites her lip and resists the urge to look away at the penguins. 

“Okay,” he says, after a too long silence, and she stares at him like he spoke in Greek. “I believe you.”

Her jaw drops, but she smoothly closes it. Her voice is quiet, anxious, startled and hopeful all at once, and she can’t seem to compartmentalize any of it. “You do?”

Percy purses his lips, like he can’t believe what he’s saying either. “I’ve never seen you like this,” he says, gesturing, and Annabeth’s face goes red at her dishevelment. “It feels like I’m looking at the real Annabeth, you know?”

She barks out a laugh, then covers her mouth. “Sorry, that wasn’t - I’m just not really fit for polite company. Fish notwithstanding.” 

“Yeah,” he says, and he grins a little. “I think that’s why I believe you.” 

Annabeth swallows anxiously and blinks back a sudden onslaught of tears. “I’m sorry, Percy. I know it was my job, but you’re so… good. At some point, it started to feel like I wasn’t pretending. I realized I really, really liked being around you. Being your friend, being with you. You didn’t deserve me lying to you, regardless of how it started.”

The last time she apologized, they were arguing. Now he just looks at her. “Thank you,” he says. It’s not quite forgiveness, it’s not an ‘it’s okay’ or the standard follow up etiquette of apologies, but it’s better, she thinks, because it feels genuine. Like he is accepting the truth of it, that she is sorry, and the fact that he believes it settles in her in an odd way. 

“Are you still… you know. Uh, working?” 

She nearly laughs at his word choice. “I’m on break. And I’m not - I was pulled from the Jupiter Industries stuff. So I’m not… working.” 

“So you’re literally just here at the aquarium for fun?” 

She hesitates, though she doesn’t know why. “Yes. And, well, you know - Sally gave me the tickets. I felt like I should use them, after our conversation.” She pauses. “I think she’s worried about you.”

Percy runs a hand through his hair again. She knows he hates stressing his mother. She knows so many things about him that she can’t seem to put down. “She always worries too much. Can I ask what else she said to you?”

It’s phrased in a way that she could turn him down, but Annabeth has promised herself as well as him that she’s in the running to be honest. 

“She asked me if I wanted to fix things with you. I told her I didn’t know if I could.” It’s not all she asked. Annabeth just doesn’t know how to bring the other part up, or if she even should.

Percy frowns. “Do you… actually want to fix things?” 

Annabeth draws in a quiet breath. “I miss you,” she admits, and his face twists with surprise and what could be relief, but maybe she’s projecting. “But I wasn’t lying when I told her I didn’t know if I could. I hurt you. It’s not up to me to forgive myself for it, no matter how much I miss you.”

His frown deepens, but he doesn’t look unhappy - more like thoughtful. “I can’t believe she didn’t tell me,” he mumbles. 

“I don’t think she wanted to interfere too much,” she offers quietly. “There’s one more thing.”

Percy looks up at her. 

Annabeth swallows again, but this time she’s pushing down her pride. “She asked me if I loved you.”

He looks at her carefully. “What did you tell her?”

She keeps his gaze. “I said I did.” She curls in on herself a little. “I do.”

Something in Percy Jackson deflates, but not in a way that suggests loss. It’s like he’s stopped carrying a heavy box. His shoulders sink, even if his face looks as confused as it does lighter. “It’s like everything in me wants to believe it. And I think I do,” he starts. 

Annabeth’s stomach flutters. 

“It’s crazy. Like, it’s so crazy to me that you still love me, because everything about it is so… wrong? No, not wrong - but we started wrong. We started wrong, but everything I felt was still so real. The bad and the good. I was really scared at that restaurant, for the obvious reasons - but I think I was scared about what it meant for us too.” Percy puffs out a breath of air, and his eyebrows crinkle. “I don’t have a good sense of self-preservation.”

Annabeth can barely breathe. She holds herself back from reaching for his arm. “Do you think… we could start over, and do it right?”

Percy studies her again, wary but curious. “What, like a do-over?”

“I guess. A re-meet.”

“A real meet-cute?”

She cracks a small smile. “I mean, I did run into you randomly in the aquarium.”

“Happenstance fishes.”

“We’re by the penguins,” she corrects, automatically. “Happenstance birds.”

Percy cracks his own smile, dimple pinching his cheek. “Did you know the babies don’t swim until they’re four months old?”

Annabeth’s smile widens. “You know, someone might have told me that already,” she starts. “But I could use a refresher.” 

“I’m still on shift,” he says, a little awkwardly. “But I’ll be done in about two hours.”

It takes a few moments for what he offers to sink in. It doesn’t seem fair or right to her at all that Percy Jackson is here before her, yet again in front of the stupid penguins, willingly telling her when he’s finished - offering to spend more time with her. But it’s better this time. There’s no frustration on her part, no trying to drag it out of him - he’s offering because he’s also offering her a chance, and Annabeth knows she is going to take it, regardless of how much she deserves it. She’s going to work to deserve it. Neither of them were forced to be here. She isn’t coercing him into a date. She’s letting him lead it. 

And he’s still choosing to see her. 

“I still have to visit some octopi,” she says, nerves alight, “But I could meet you back here in two hours…?” 

Percy’s silence is scary, but Annabeth gives him the time. It’s a final shot for him to back out if he wants to, and she won’t even blame him if he changes his mind even now. But he’s Percy. And somehow, she isn’t surprised by his answer. 

“Sounds like a plan.” 

Annabeth is going to cry all over again. She holds out her hand instead, and even though he gives her a confused look, Percy takes it. She shakes it, relishing the feeling of his palm against hers, the warmth spreading through her fingers as he squeezes it. She thought she’d never get to experience his touch again. 

“Hi,” she starts, feeling silly, but allowing herself to run with it. No more thinking or calculating, she’s just going with this strange flow. “I’m Annabeth Chase.”

He laughs, his own smile edging on silly too. “Percy Jackson. Hey.”

“Do you work here?” she asks, trying not to smile and failing completely. 

He shakes his head. “I just volunteer. I’m a firefighter.”

“You got some kind of affinity for water?”

He breaks into a grin that’s almost a laugh. “I’ve always liked the ocean.” He pauses then, hesitation slipping into his face. “What about you?” 

She studies his face, the kindness and the anger and everything in between flashing through her head. She’s already memorized it, but she can still bask in it anew. She doesn’t really know where she’s going from here, least of all with Percy, but she once again opts for honesty, even if nothing comes of it. “I’m thinking I might get into architecture.”

Percy looks surprised. “Sounds like a big change.”

Annabeth pulls her hand away, straightens her shoulders. “Sometimes a person comes along and gives you a whole new perspective on things.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. We’ll see. I’m working on it. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking.” 

“I think,” he says, hesitating, “You should do what makes you happy.” 

She laughs. “Again,” she says, quieter this time, “I’m working on it.” 

“In case you haven’t noticed, you’re kind of hyper-competent.”

“Only kind of?” 

Percy snorts. “I just mean, you’ll probably figure it out.” 

She looks at him in wonder, that he could still stand there and offer a kindness to her after everything. It doesn’t surprise her, if she really thinks about it. She fell in love with him for a reason, after all. For a lot of reasons.

“I want you to know me,” she says suddenly, which goes against every single part of her existence as a spy, but Percy has already broken through all of those rules. She wants to be known, by him specifically, which is wildly scary and completely against all manner of protocol, but she is no longer lying to him. She promised. She promised and she wants to open up everything about herself that she’s kept quiet for him to witness. 

Percy’s mouth opens and closes like a nearby fish. “I know you like owls. That wasn’t fake.”

She blinks, and he gestures at her earrings. She touches one instinctively. “They’re my favorite. So is strawberry, and I do really love Gaudí, and I’m starting to really like penguins too.” 

“The penguins are pretty cool,” he says with a very small smile. 

A quiet settles over them after that, but Annabeth finds it’s not uncomfortable. There is going to be some awkwardness, but the thing about it right now is it doesn’t feel scary. All the scariest parts are behind her, and right now she is only looking at the new possibility of Percy Jackson in her life, in whatever capacity he allows. She’ll take any of it. He gets to set the pace this time, and she’s more than willing to allow it. 

“Thank you,” she says, finally. “For giving me another chance.” 

His grin is haphazard, lopsided, and maybe a little self-deprecating. “When I saw you standing there, there was a part of me that wanted to keep walking - but I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. Maybe it makes me a little stupid. I really want to know you too. I want to keep knowing you.”  

“I’ve been stupid too,” she says with a shrug. “So we’re off to a great start.” 

“A start,” he says, huffing a laugh. “Not many people get to do that twice.” 

“No,” she agrees. “I thought I was coming here for an ending.”

Percy blinks at her. “I don’t really know what’ll happen, Annabeth.”

“That’s okay,” she says, breathing in deeply and relishing the way the air fills her lungs. She doesn’t know either. But that’s better than finality. “We can work on that too.”

His eyes flicker with a softness she knows she still doesn’t deserve, but she relishes in that too. “So… I guess I’ll see you again in about two hours?” He pauses. “We can get smoothies.”

“I like the Strawberry Whirl.” 

He pauses again. “I knew that had to be true.”

Annabeth laughs, and Percy beams, and she thinks somehow, some way, they’re going to be… okay. It might take time. She doesn’t know what it’s going to look like, fully expects a lot of difficult bridges, but it feels like a real chance she hadn’t expected. They could be friends. They could end up more. They could go absolutely nowhere and fall apart much more naturally, more smoothly, without blood and bullets - but she’s going to try very hard to avoid that. She’s going to be herself, and maybe that’ll be good enough for him to stick around. It’s the only way she’s going to enable the mere chance of it. 

As far as she’s concerned, anything involving Percy from now on is always going to be real. 

[cakerybakery]

If Lucifer’s trying to hide he needed to be quieter. Adam followed the sounds of full on sobbing down the hall and into the stairwell.

“The fuck are you doing?” Adam crouched down to look in the small space under the stairs where the king of hell had squished himself into the corner.

Throw hiccups and gasps Lucifer cried out, “m-my ba-baby is gr-grow-growing uuuupppp!”

“Dude, she’s like two hundred years old. She grew up a long time ago. She asked Vaggie to marry her, it’s not the end of the world.” Adam reached in, grabbed the king by the lapel and dragged him out.

Sitting down he patted Lucifer on the back as he cried and stuttered through stories about how tiny of a baby she was, her first steps, Charlie’s demon phase.

“God, you’re going to be so fucked up if they have a kid.”

Lucifer made a little choking noise and Adam recoiled thinking maybe he just killed the man. Instead, Lucifer through his arms around Adam’s middle and sobbed harder as he buried his face against the side of Adam’s chest.

“Do-do yoouu thi-think they-ey will hav-have wiiings?”

“Uhh, maybe. They’d be like three quarters angel, right? Probably have a demon features like the eyes or horns cause they’re in hell. Wait, can they have bio kids? They’re both chicks.”

Lucifer nodded, rubbing against Adam as he did so. “Char,” Lucifer hiccuped, “Charlie, ha-has some o-of my pow-powers.”

“So, she could have a dick if she wanted?”

His belly was smacked lightly for the comment but Lucifer nodded again. The sobbing was subsiding but Lucifer didn’t let go.

How did his afterlife get like this? Consoling the most hated guy in the universe because his daughter wasn’t a baby anymore. Lucifer was supposed to be this great big feared king of the demons, ruler of the damned, stealer of souls.

The guy was more like chocolate cake with chilis. There was some spice in there, he was the king of hell, but for the most part he was all soft and fluffy.

“You know everyone else is upstairs, aka not in the basement stairwell, having a party to celebrate the engagement. We should probably join them.” His mistake was looking down.

Lucifer had such big watery eyes, his bottom lip was quivering, that perfect hairdo of his got messed up somewhere between the sobbing and being under Adam’s arm. He looked like any second now he was going to burst into tears again. How could Adam resist that face?

“Or we could stay here for a bit longer.”

He let out a little squeak of approval and nodded again, still clinging tightly to Adam’s gut. Adam let his arm fully rest on Lucifer’s shoulder. They sat in silence for a bit longer until Lucifer was no longer hiccuping and gasping for breath between small bouts of crying.

Adam put down a slice of cake to investigate the weird noise he’d heard, he should have brought it with him.

They could probably both go for something sweet right about now.

“Thanks,” Lucifer pulled his legs under him as he talked. “For being here.” His voice was much calmer now.

“Yeah, well. I know how it feels when you realize your kid’s are growing up.” He shrugged but gave Lucifer a reassurance smile.

A hand was on his cheek and Lucifer pushed himself up onto his knees, the kiss was soft and Adam gasped despite himself. It didn’t last and Lucifer was on his feet, straightening his jacket, and looking for all the world like the most perfectly put together man in existence instead of the quietly sobbing mess he had been only ten minutes ago.

“Well, we should get back before we’re missed.” Lucifer held out a hand and pulled Adam to his feet. He spun on his heel and practically skipped up the stairs humming to himself.

Adam put a hand to his chest, feeling his heart race and skip, “stop that you.” He whispered to himself, “we are not getting a crush on him.”

“Coming, Adam?” Lucifer sang out from the top of the stairs.

“And you stop that too,” he scolded quietly, as his dick weighed in on the conversation after giving Adam’s brain an alternate spelling of the word, coming.

Yelling up the flight of stairs so Lucifer could hear him, “Yeah, just a second. I’ll be right up.” He thought his least sexy thoughts and climbed the flight of stairs towards Lucifer’s smiling face.

His heart started flip flopping and Adam knew he was fucked.

[dancingtotuyo]

Scathed 10 (Javier Peña)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: anxiety, trauma, self worth, smoking, references to the drug war and colombia, Narcos season 3 spoilers

Notes: Thank you @janaispunk for always beta reading for me. I love you!

Words: 3956

Series Master List | Author Master List

Journal Entry September 4th, 1994 Dear Javi,

So it’s been a month since you left. I’m trying not to be hurt by the lack of communication. Dad said you’re alive. The reports out of Colombia sound like you’re doing well even. I know you called your dad. He mentioned it at Ale’s riding lesson. 

School is kicking my ass. Passing the GED and actually going to class is a huge fucking difference. For the most part, I’ve managed the social situations fine. Classes are small, I can sit in the back. People don’t notice the old lady in the back. I’m pretty sure I’m only retaining a quarter of what I need to. I’m on too high of alert. I knew it would be hard, but it feels like my anxiety has gotten worse again. I feel like I’m moving backward. 

Standing outside the Embassy, Javier lit a cigarette. The habit had returned in full as he fought to manage the stress of the day and ghosts of the night. He’d managed to keep his bed empty and his ashtray full. It felt like the better option of the two. 

He still hadn’t called home. His voicemail still held last week’s message from Alejandra. He fought with himself every night. The push and the pull to talk to Emily, but every night ended the same, drowning in smoke and whiskey. He wasn’t clean enough to have her or the kids. It was better this way. 

He felt useless down here. What good was the DEA if they weren’t going to actually do any enforcing. He and the whole agency were just expensive window dressing here to make it look like everything was above board, to get the DEA stamp of approval on this surrender deal. Javier hated it all.  

“Can I get one of those?” A woman appeared next to him, her dirty blond curls threaded with the soft grays and white of aging. Javier offered one up in a silence. “I quit four months ago.” She smiled before bringing it to her lips.

Javier cocked his head to the side, still assessing her motives. He hadn’t seen her around before. She wanted something, Javier just couldn’t decide what. He lit the cigarette for her as they both took a drag, sizing one another up as they did. 

He briefly wondered if her hair style was what Emily had in mind when she mentioned cutting it shorter. He still preferred the idea of her long curls. His chest tightened. Not that he had any right to a say in that. 

The woman squared up to him. “Carolina Alvarez, El Tiempo.” She held out her hand.

Just what he needed, the press. He let her hand hang in the air just long enough to make her feel uneasy before taking it with an admittedly poor handshake. As he suspected, it didn’t take long for her to launch into whatever introduction she had planned, pulling up his history with Los Pepes and the current politics happening with Cali’s plea deal. 

It was a power play. Javier refused to let her win. “You can call the press office if you want a comment, Miss Alvarez.”

“Carolina, please,” she said.

In another life, Javier wouldn’t give her the time of day. Of course, he didn’t have to deal with the press last time. That had been above his pay grade. He tossed the cigarette butt to the ground, stomping it out with his foot. Of course, he didn’t have to deal with her now. That was what the press office was for. “Have a nice day.” He turned, started to walk away. 

“Have you heard much about the Cali accident?” she asked. His steps slowed down. He turned back around. “Four more people dead. Children. Dozens more sick.” She stepped toward him. “An empty chlorine gas canister was found nearby.”

Javier kept his face straight. His shoulders tensed. He’d seen the initial report, but hadn’t thought too much about it. 

Caroline continued, taking his silence for permission. “There’s a rumor its manufacturer is linked to a front company operated by the Cali Cartel.”

“It’s like you said, it was an accident,” Javier said, expression etched in stone, not giving anything away. 

Carolina let out a humorless chuckle. “By the end of the day it will be. No matter what the truth is.” She met his eye, giving it a second for emphasis before lapsing into Spanish. “Thank you for the cigarette.” 

She walked away, leaving Javier in the same place, same expression on his face. He fought against his surging emotions. He wasn’t going to let some journalist use him to do her research. Even so, it nagged on him throughout the day. He found himself taking extra smoke breaks.  

When he found himself watching the evening news, the investigator calling it an accident, caused by a natural gas leak, Javier felt anger surge through him. How many families had to be torn apart to protect these men? Innocent children had died. Mothers had children to bury. That wasn’t right. That wasn’t justice. 

Pictures flashed across the screen, the children killed by the exposure. He’d seen children die before. He’d watched a man he respected shoot a teenager in the head as a warning. He’d held a gun to a kid. Those incidents had messed with his head enough, but these kids were in their homes, tucked into their beds. They were supposed to be safe. How many times had Javier watched as Emily ushered her children to bed, kissed their heads, and trusted that they'd be safe in their bed. That they would wake up. 

Javier was never good at guessing the ages of kids, but each face that flashes across the screen seems to remind him of them. Miguelito. Alejandra. Mateo. Children he’d grown to know, to love even…

This wasn’t right. Cali didn’t get to get away with it. Not this time. He shut the TV off, walking over to Chris Feistl’s desk. He leaned against the wall. “You got a partner, right?”

Chris looked up at him, confused and a little shocked. “Uh, yeah. Kinda.”

Maybe it could be different this time. Maybe he could still bring justice. 

“Good, you’re going to Cali.” He walked away before Feistl could respond. 

This time would be different.

Journal Entry September 18th, 1994 Dear Javi,

It hurts not to hear from you. Dad said all reports from Colombia have been good. I’m sure you’re getting restless. 

I had a panic attack in class this week. I had to leave ten minutes into the class. I hadn’t had one since Escobar was killed. That’s the longest I’d been without one since I came home. I was starting to think maybe I’d never have one again. 

I feel… disappointed. 

Javier met Carolina at a cafe. She gave him information about Cali's money launderer, Franklin Jurado. She pushed him in a way he needed just as she had in their first meeting. It seemed weird that perhaps his moral compass would come in the form of a nosy journalist. 

“Are you going to take these men on or what?” she asked.

Javier let out a quick breath, formulating his answer very carefully. “I’m going to do my job.”

“And your bosses?” Her gaze was piercing, like she was trying to see his soul or haunt his dreams until the job was done. “Do they know what you’re doing?”

His eyes drifted to his coffee. “No comment,” he said, putting the cup to his lips, pinning her with a soft glare he was sure she saw right through. 

She called him with the address an hour after he left.

Javier didn’t have to sit long before Franklin appeared on the steps, bags in tow. He was going somewhere, but where was the question. A driver appeared, helping the man with his bags and once they were packed, a woman walked toward him. Javier watched from his SUV as Franklin took her hand. She didn’t look happy to be saying goodbye, and then he held her tight. 

A pang shot through Javier’s chest as the blonde woman folded into her husband’s arms. She didn’t want him to go, but she was there to say goodbye anyway. An image of Emily flashed through his mind. The night before he left, she hadn’t cried, but he saw it in her eyes, felt it in the way she hugged him. He wondered if his coldness had made her cry since that night. This was better for her. She would be better off without him. He let out a sigh as he turned the ignition to follow Franklin’s, cutting off the thought before it wracked his body with guilt. 

After following Jurado to the airport, Javier headed for his own flight to follow him. Stechner blocked it, pulling him into the jungle with a couple of senators to rub elbows, to take him out like a show pony, the man who brought down Escobar, except he wasn’t even in the country when that happened. Everyone seems to ignore that part. 

He seethed on the helicopter ride in, feigning a broken headset to avoid talking. There were plenty of other places Javier would rather be, anywhere else really. He was supposed to be taking down Cali, despite what his orders were. Hell, he’d rather run for his life through the communas again than take a couple of stuffy senators on a stroll through the jungle. 

Humidity hung heavy in the air as sweat soaked his shirt. He was used to the weather, but in dress shoes and slacks it was hell. To make it all worse, it was apparent from the get go that it was a set up, a fancy, high tailed lie to raise support for whatever the CIA was gunning for, fighting communists or whatever. Javier found the whole pursuit to be a gigantic waste of time. He’d smuggled a communist out of the country once, he’d do it again without a second thought, but one thing became abundantly clear. Cali’s surrender had nothing to do with the war on drugs and everything to do with fundraising. 

Javier’s blood boiled the entire ride home, replaying his conversation with Stechner. The way the CIA agent had laughed about the drug war as if it was a joke. Maybe it was, but Javier wasn’t ready to let this one go. 

“The drug war? We lost it. You were there!”

It echoed on a fucking loop, driving him crazy as he made his way back home. There weren’t enough cigarettes in the world to numb the blows and they kept coming. 

“Did you ever stop to think that someone who takes this as personally as you do, is doing it wrong?”

He stubbed out the bud against his truck door as he got out, marching up the steps as he knocked on the door. 

This was personal. He couldn’t go home empty handed. He couldn’t face her without knowing he’d made an impact on this fight, brought down men like the one who’d inflicted such scars on her.  

Colonel Martinez opened the door, breaking Javier from his thoughts. He looked surprised to see him. 

Javier cut to the chase. “Want to go after Gilberto Rodriguez?”

Journal Entry October 2nd, 1994 Javi,

Where the fuck are you? It feels like my best friend abandoned me. You abandoned me. 

The day they arrested Gilberto Rodriguez, Javier went through the wringer, the emotional ups and downs. The DEA was excited. The bullpen had given him a round of applause, wanted to toast him. He didn’t like that. The ambassador had torn him a new one. Javier wasn’t a fan of that either. A meeting of high ranking Colombian officials with the American representatives showed the scope. Some felt this gave them more leverage while others feared it would make things worse, but the president ordered that Gilberto go through the same process as any other citizen. Javier considered that a win. He didn’t take pleasure in the press conference. 

By the time he made it back to the office, he had a killer headache, but it was thankfully empty by then. Javier pulled out the whiskey and the cigarettes. He didn’t necessarily feel happy, but he felt as if he’d done something finally.

Javier didn’t stop to celebrate or rest. He turned focus right back to Franklin Jurado, refocusing his attention on the launderer, but not before stopping to put a big, red X through Gilberto’s picture. That brought him a moment of happiness, but he paused to wonder.

He wondered if she had heard the news, seen the press conference. Did Emily know how much of a driving force she was to him? How much he wanted to clear the earth of every single cartel and drug boss, to make her feel safe again. For a second, he contemplated calling her. Could he know? Had he atoned enough? He shook his head at the thought, gripping the marker tightly in his hand. He would never atone enough. 

“This is Peña. Leave a message.” BEEP

“Mr. Javi. It’s me. Alejandrina.”

“I’m here too!” Mateo’s voice called out, sounding more distant than his sister’s. 

“Miguelito is here too. Mom is working in the yard.”

“You shouldn’t be doing this!” Miguelito said. “Grandpa is going to see it on the phone bill.”

“You never called me back.” Alejandra continued. “I saw you on the news in grandpa’s office. He didn’t know I saw. It sounded like you caught the bad guys. Can you come home now?”

“There’s more than one bad guy.” Miguelito reminded her. 

Alejandra sighed frustratedly as she went off in Spanish at her older brother. There was static on the receiver and then Mateo started talking as his older siblings fought in the background. 

“Mr. Javi. Stay safe. We love you. Bye.” The machine clicked off. 

Javier spent the next week in meetings getting berated or praised for the DEA’s actions, but mostly the berated. The doubt crept in at times. Maybe he should have left well enough alone, but it never stayed for long. He’d done the right thing. He was certain of that. 

Neil spent most of his time listening to the Jurado tapes in search of a location of Franklin. Nothing was turning up yet, but he still held out hope. Each conversation Franklin and his wife had tugged on something in Javier’s heart. Maybe it was the way she begged him to turn himself in, her worry, the anxiety. 

Even as he sat at the end of the bar, eyes pinned to Christina Jurado, Javier felt the guilt ebbing at him. Last year, he wouldn’t have thought twice about using Christina’s situation to get the information. It was easy enough, buy her a drink, pull out the charm, trick her into telling him where Franklin was. So why did he feel so damn bad about it? Why could he only picture Emily in the same position? 

Her situation had been nothing like this. They were two separate people in two separate realities. So why was he struggling with this? Why couldn’t he separate the two women? He should call her. 

Javier shook his head, waving the bartender over. He ordered a drink for Christina, clearing his head and dusting off the charm as he waited for the drink to be delivered. 

She looked annoyed at first, but the moment his English caught her ears, he watched her entire demeanor change. Javier knew he had it in the bag, but it didn’t feel as good as it used to. And then the words slipped out, almost like his mouth had a mind of its own. 

“You reminded me of someone. Someone from home.”

She liked that line, but he wanted to shower the moment he said it. What right did he have to utter even her existence in this place? None, but he’d done it anyway. Further evidence that he’d done the right thing by not calling her. 

Even through the guilt gnawing at him, Javier played the dutiful flirt. Almost lost himself in it, almost dared to enjoy it.

“So what could pull him away from-” He looked her up and down. “From all this.”

The words repeated in his mind. What could pull him away from her? In both cases the answer was the same. The Drug War. This all powerful thing that had left him battered and bruised yet kept drawing him back in. 

Christina paused, gave him another once over and then slid from her seat. “Say hi to Texas for me.”

Javi gave her credit, she was committed to her husband, or maybe his flirting skills weren’t as good as they used to be, either way, it was plan B. He called out the name she’d never told him, told her who he was, and she all but spit in his face. 

When Javier showed up at her front door later that day, she didn’t turn him away. He may not have learned where Franklin was, but she gave him the time of day. She listened. She all but told him she would try to convince her husband to turn himself in. She couldn’t look at him, didn’t look at him as he set his card on the coffee table, a far away look in her eyes, no doubt replaying the past, just like Emily when- Javier cut the thought off. This wasn’t her. This was different. 

He reasoned that he was doing this to help Christina, to keep her safe, but he knew that wasn’t true, his own selfish motives landing in the forefront of his mind. It was for the greater good, but how many people had he harmed for the greater good? 

Before he left, Javier vowed to keep Christina out of harm’s way. It was the least he could do. This time would be different.

It worked. Christina called Franklin almost as soon as he left. By the grace of god, the tap caught the man thanking someone in the language, specific enough to track him down to Curaçao. 

Before the night was over, Javier sat at the airport bar tapping his fingers against the smooth surface. He still couldn’t shake the feeling, the deceit of it all. He was caught off guard when his SAT phone rang. He answered, keeping an eye out at the bar around him. 

“Peña,” He answered, taking a sip of his whiskey. 

“Uh, it’s me… Christina Jurado.”

“I’m glad you called… You okay?”

“Please don’t lie to me,” Christina said. She sounded nervous, worried. “If I do this- if I get my husband to- you can protect us? We can go home?”

Javier’s chest tightened. He finished off his drink. “You have my word.” But he didn’t know how much his word carried these days.

She hesitated before answering. “I talked to him.”

“You did? That’s good.”

“He’s gonna cooperate.”

“He said that?” Javier picked up his duffel bag.

“No, not yet- but he will. I just… I need a little time.”

“That’s fine.” Javier walked down the terminal. “You take all the time you need.” 

He hung up without another exchange, just before his flight was announced over the intercom. Internally, he repeated his early promise. He’d keep her safe. 

Journal Entry October 15th, 1994

I dropped my classes today. I haven’t been able to make it to class. I thought I could do it. You thought I could do it…

Javier had almost forgotten the adrenaline rush of chasing down the bad guys. The hunt for Gilberto had been one thing, but the thrill of actually chasing someone down, weaving through the crowds, finally getting him. It felt good. It felt like a win when even his wins felt like losses these days. 

In all of Javier’s days in law enforcement, he’d never had someone ask about their wife. Never had anyone worried for anyone’s safety but their own, and he assured Franklin that she would meet them in Miami. 

Javier couldn’t help but admire the Jurado’s commitment to one another. For one, it made it a lot easier to get his witness, yet there was something about them. Tangled up in this mess, but still committed, still loving each other. 

As they landed, his phone rang again. Christina called him, freaking out about the men at her apartment. He had to tell her they’d arrested him. She reacted as he expected, upset and anxious, and surprisingly, his guilt had subsided. Maybe it was because they had Franklin. Maybe it was because he knew if she could get herself to the embassy, she would be safe. He’d done it. He’d brought Franklin in, and he hadn’t destroyed a family in the process. She just needed to get herself a couple miles before they found out Franklin was in custody.

“Christina, you want it, this is it.” He cut off her rambling firmly. “As soon as we hang up the phone, you get yourself to the American embassy. You don’t talk to anyone. You don’t call anyone. You get yourself there.”

He caught the whispers of her agreement before the line went dead. 

He paused a second after the call ended, staring at the keypad. Maybe it was the American soil. Maybe it was the fact that he was actually starting to feel good about this. He thought about calling for real, so close to punching the numbers he had memorized. Then he was reminded that he was on the tarmac. The job wasn’t done, but afterward, maybe he would call her. Except, Christina never made it to the embassy. 

An envelope with Emily’s handwriting greeted Javier when he got back to his apartment in Colombia. The return address confirmed it as he stared at it in the dim light of his apartment, rereading the address like he might catch a clue to its contents in the ink strokes. He debated opening it. The kids’ secret phone call to him from a couple weeks ago, the only message that accompanied Emily’s on his answering machine, ran through his mind. 

It was too late for this. It had been a long couple of days. The guilt that had returned tenfold since he left Miami without calling Emily, with Christina’s whereabouts unknown, but he ripped the seal open anyway. 

It was likely Emily ripping him apart, angry with him for abandoning her. Even the kids’ voicemail hadn’t been enough to make him call. He didn’t deserve them. Any of them. He was better off out of their lives.

He rubbed his forehead as he unfolded the paper, but it wasn’t words that greeted him, but bright colors and advanced stick figures drawn in crayon, five people. He furrowed his brow, looking back at the envelope. In the corner was Alejandra’s name atop the return address. In the picture, two adults, three kids, and a couple of horses all smiled back at him. He couldn’t help his own smile that ghosted his lips. Paz and Hurricane. His heart clenched. He hoped that Ale was still taking lessons at the ranch, and the boys practicing with the lasso. Alejandra had written their names above each person. 

He’d been a dick. Hadn’t returned calls like he said he would, promised he would, but Ale still wanted him to have this, Emily still sent it. She didn’t have to. She could have lied and thrown it in the trash instead. 

Javier cleared his throat as the page began to blur a little bit. He needed to go to sleep. He grabbed the maintenance magnet, using it to pin the drawing to his fridge. 

This time would be different. 

...........................................................

Taglist: @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @burntheedges @southernbe @fanyyoouu @greengirlwurld

@mysterious-moonstruck-musings @weho2kcmo

[psychedelic-ink]

𝐀 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐅𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐅𝐎𝐗𝐆𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐒.

DAY TWELVE OF HAUNTED HOEDOWN

prompt: vampire court au + "forever isn't long enough for me to forgive you."

pairing: oberyn martell x f!reader, max phillips x oberyn, max phillips x reader x oberyn

genre: explicit smut, minors dni, enemies to lovers

summary: after you left the court and hence Oberyn, no one is eager to forgive you for your betrayal. Especially those closest to you.

word count: 3.8k

warnings: everyone's a vampire including reader, orgies, voyeurism, mlm, threesome, sub!max, switch!reader, dom!oberyn, this is hella explicit btw so read accordingly, rimming, ass play, anal sex (oberyn x max), piv (max x reader), biting, mild mention of blood because vampires

a/n: and this concludes the last day of haunted hoedown! thank you for joining in everyone, I appreciate it! (also this was normally just supposed to be oberyn and reader but oh well, gotta go big am I right?)

Your steps echo down the hall, the ends of your dress trailing behind you, swiping against shiny marble. You’ve hated coming back here. Hated seeing the pity and the mockery in the eyes of the rest of the court. But you had no choice. You knew Oberyn would take you back, in a sick twist of faith, you did belong to him after all. He was a part of you as much as you were a part of him. He had looked at you with anger, betrayal. In a similar fashion, he too had thought you’d left for selfish purposes but it was so much more than that. 

So much more. 

Now you’re basically the errand girl despite your status. You were made to be a guardian. A protector. Lords began to turn humans for this sole purpose. When a human is turned, they are more loyal to the vampire that turned them. The bond would be strong which made most of them lay down their lives for the one who turned them, the one that gave them eternal life. However, like many things, there was a catch: the vampire had to save the human before turning them. It could be from something minimal or something grand, the grander the threat, the more passionate the new vampire would be to protect. 

Of course higher vampires didn’t really care, they just wanted guardians. With time they began to cause the threats that would require the human to be saved themselves. It was a scummy thing to do, but there were no rules dictating otherwise. 

Oberyn was different. You would know, he was the one that had turned you. 

He actually saved his humans, be it from psychological harm or physical, he saved them and gave them a choice. They could live out their lives however they pleased, they didn’t have to be guardians. And despite the choice, they all stayed. Oberyn provided protection, pleasure, and eternal life. 

So everyone stayed. 

Everyone except for you. 

You stand still at the lord’s quarters. You don’t need to see to know what’s happening on the other side. Lustful moans, the sound of skin smacking against skin—sinful sounds that set a wildfire between your legs. You haven’t been touched since you left, your body remembers his touch, how he would linger and taste. . . 

You inhale a sharp breath and knock—loudly. 

“The door is open.” 

Oberyn. He sounds disinterested already. 

You push the large doors open and the sight before you is exactly what you expected. 

Men and women kissing, sucking, fucking. They’re all lost in the pleasure, their moans mixing and becoming a beautiful melody. Your nipple grows tight at the sight, your legs slightly buckling under your weight. 

Oberyn, of course, is playing with his favorite toy. Max Phillips. The younger vampire is sitting between Oberyn’s spread legs, his cock wrapped with the lord’s fingers. They both gaze upon you at the same time, one cold and one heated—though the warmth of that gaze has nothing to do with you and has everything to do with the fist around his length.

Max smiles crookedly, a puff of air escaping his lips as his hips thrust into Oberyn’s fists. The lord’s eyes drop to his lover’s, lips curling with amusement, “Needy.”  

His eyes harden when you clear your throat, “What do you want?” he asks, tone dripping venom. “I am busy, as you can probably tell.” 

“I’ve been informed to tell you the meeting for tonight is rescheduled for tomorrow.” he shoots you a glare and you add. “My lord.” 

You hate calling him that. He never made you call that before, Max also didn’t call him that. It just proved to everyone that you were now nothing but an outsider within your home. Your heart drops. You always hated being an outcast. 

Oberyn’s hand stills on Max’s cock and the latter whines pathetically into the air, a bead of precome trickling down his length and over Oberyn’s knuckles. You meet his gaze. He gazes at you for a second later before commanding the rest to leave. If they’re startled, they don’t show it—they just move the party elsewhere, leaving only you, Oberyn, and Max. 

The younger vampire makes way to leave but Oberyn stops him, “Stay,” he murmurs, dragging his lips down his neck. Max shudders, his cock twitching eagerly. 

You swallow as Oberyn approaches you, his body bare and cock jutting darkly between his legs. You focus your gaze on his face and find it hard not to look down. His smile is mischievous, “You look troubled,” he says. 

“I’m not, my lord,” you add a bit more attitude this time, prompting the raise of his brows. You notice Mac looking towards you curiously, his back against the headboard of the rather large bed. 

“You do understand you brought this upon yourself, do you not?” he says. “I do not enjoy punishing my subjects unless it is for pleasure. You were free and you chose to betray me instead.” 

In your defense, you wouldn’t exactly call what you did a betrayal. 

“I understand.” 

He’s irritated. You can tell by the way his jaw twitches, “Forever isn't long enough for me to forgive you,” he spits out, angry. This time you do look away, feeling too much all at once. “Not only did you leave after your oath, you left to join another court,” he seers. “And then when they throw you to the street what do you do? Come crawling back with your tail between your legs. You took advantage of my kindness and the peace of this court. Pathetic.” 

It all happens in the blink of an eye. Your anger flares, overtakes every fiber of your being, and before you know it the flat of your palm connects with his cheek. The sound of it echoes through the chamber. From the corner of your eyes, you see Max’s eyes going wide, his body going tense as he straightens up to subdue you if need be.  

Your slap hadn’t done much to Oberyn. It had simply resulted in a slight turn of his head, the lack of effect you have on him angers you further, and you attempt to smack him again—

However, as unaffected as he might be, he doesn’t allow it. 

You grit your teeth at the way he holds your wrist, his fingers too tight around your bone. You attempt to snatch your arm back but he doesn’t allow that either, he flashes you his fangs, eyes momentarily turning purple before resuming their warm brown color. 

“Careful there little fox, you don’t want to be angering my favorite guardian now, would you?” 

Your eyes snap to Max who is now standing, a sheet loosely wrapped between his waist. Much to your surprise, he doesn’t look angry only worried. 

Once more you pull your hand to break free of your hold but the effort only makes him smile, showing your fangs, you hiss. “Let go of me, Oberyn.” 

He lets go of the fact that you used his name. 

“Why so angry all of a sudden?” he rolls his tongue over every syllable. “Did you not leave? Did you not go and work for the court who murdered my sister? Do not expect forgiveness.” the pink of his tongue moves over his bottom lip. “I was sad when you left. And when I grow sad. . . I grow angry.” 

“I did not have a choice!” your voice booms against the walls, startling both him and Oberyn, taking advantage of it, you snatch your hand away. “You do not know what’s it like to have a bond you cannot control, to be tethered to you in a way that I would lay down my life for you. He does,” you point at Max, his lips are tight, his gaze hard. You look back to Oberyn. “But you do not. It overwhelmed me Oberyn. I was scared of it. I was scared of feeling so much so suddenly and left because of it. They were the only court that would take me in. No one else dared.” you hiss out. “I did not enjoy it. I did not revel in the fact of being away from my home—from you. I was thrown away because they noticed I purposefully caused more harm than good.” 

His lips part but you don’t allow him to say anything, “You do not get to call me pathetic. Especially since you do not know how it feels to be us.” 

Your heart rams against your chest, your breath coming in short, quick pants. You have no idea what comes after this. Do you leave? Do you say something else? Do you apologize? Your thoughts are a hurricane, scattered and constantly spinning. 

Oberyn’s gaze lingers a second longer before turning around and heading to the bed, “Very well,” he says, pulling Max back between his legs. “Come and join us, little fox. You want to, I saw it in your eyes when you first came in.” 

Your mouth opens, closes, and then opens back up again, “Is that all you have to say?” 

Oberyn’s hands move down the inside of Max’s thighs, he still seems on edge but melts when he squeezes his plump flesh. A fresh wave of arousal dampens the fabric of your underwear. 

“You should have told me before you left,” he says and kisses Max’s neck before he continues. “I would have tended to you, make the process easier. I would have looked after you. I know how hard your. . . previous life was. However, I still can not fully forgive you for leaving to work with them. No matter how much chaos you might have caused there. That will take time. But. . . in the meanwhile,” Oberyn suddenly grips Max is jaw, forcing the other’s gaze onto you. He slips two fingers into his mouth and Max sucks greedily, the sheets falling away from his waist. “You may resume being my guard again. This one. . . this one has missed you greatly.” 

Heat blossoms all over the expanse of your skin, your arousal growing as Max averts his eyes, “Has he now?” you mutter, knowing that they both heard you cristal clearly. Oberyn’s grin is predatory. 

“He has,” Oberyn roughly jerks Max’s cock and he moans around the thick fingers in his mouth. “Look how aroused he gets with you watching, such a good boy.” 

Max’s hips jerk and a loud whine rattle in his throat, Oberyn only cackles, “Tell her.” he commands as he pulls out his fingers. 

“I am not telling her that,” Max says, the first words you’ve heard him speak of since you entered the chamber. “Just because you are eager to forgive and forget doesn’t mean I have to.” 

“Such a brat,” Oberyn hisses, eyes finding yours. “Well, I guess you need to make him forgive you,” he teases. “I would start by sucking his cock.” 

Max’s lips split into a wide smile, “That might work.” 

You fight against the urge to roll your eyes, your lips tug in a half smile, your heart feeling light and playful. Both of their eyes eat you up as you drop your charcoal dress to the floor. Max’s cock twitches repeatedly within Oberyn’s palm, eager to feel your lips. You share his enthusiasm as you climb the bed. The sheets soft like velvet under your knees. 

“You want me to suck your cock?” you tease and pry away Oberyn’s fingers. Max doesn’t say a word, lips shut tight as he pushes himself back further into Oberyn’s chest. The lord grins. He teases the sensitive skin between Max’s ear with his fangs. “If you don’t tell me I can’t give you what you want.” 

He snarls, “Yes, I want you to suck my cock,” then he adds with a smug grin. “I’ve missed seeing you gag around it princess.” 

You try very hard to hide how his words affect you but it’s for naught. His grin only widens at the sight of your very visible shudder. When you drop your gaze to his torso, he quickly forces your gaze back up by sneaking two fingers under your chin. He holds your gaze only for a moment before sliding his hand to the back of your neck and pushing you down. 

You slide your tongue underneath as you take him into your mouth. You’ve forgotten how much you had to part your lips to wrap your lips around him. Max groans loudly, thrusting shallowly between your lips. 

“Does that feel good, pet?” Oberyn asks Max. “You’ve missed that eager mouth a lot, huh?” 

Max makes an affirmative sound and presses his lips against Oberyn’s, you hear both their moans as they devour each other, tongues lacing together in a messy claim of mouths. 

You take him further down your throat and pull back, Max breaks the kiss with a gasp and looks down. He watches you with blown eyes, his brows furrowing with pleasure as you allow a sting of spit to fall to the slit. Oberyn continuously decorates the other’s neck with fleeting kisses, soothing his nerves. Your eyes fluttering but not closing, you push his cock to his pelvis and lick the skin that leads to his hole. A choked moan rips from his throat and you head Oberyn shushing him immediately after. 

Stroking his cock, you press your lips against his cute little hole and trace the rim with the tip of your tongue. He follows the movements of your tongue, inching closer, whimpers of your name fall one by one, you fight the urge to touch yourself and instead, you push your tongue inside. 

“F—Fuck,” he gasps. “Shit shit— that feels so good, don’t stop—” 

You smile as you force your tongue deeper, Oberyn chuckles, “You never get this desperate with me,” he says sounding almost jealous. His next words are directed at you. “Get him wet and ready for me.” 

You hum with approval, spitting again before pressing your mouth. Max ruts into your tight fist, whining and groaning as you prepare him for Oberyn. You feel his hand in your hair, his needy tugs while he attempts to both push you away and pull you closer. You squeeze his thighs, thrust your tongue deeper into him. 

His back arches and his body shakes, parting away, you look at him through heavy lashes. Max looks at you with a hooded gaze, swimming in lust, he only understands the look you’re giving him when you slowly open your mouth and show your fangs, “I missed the taste of you on my tongue,” you say, breath hitching. 

Oberyn looks at you with interest and amusement, his gaze quickly moves to Max. 

He blinks heavily, lips parting, he spreads his legs further, giving you a delicious view of his flesh, “Go ahead,” he murmurs. 

You accept the invitation gleefully. You kiss the inside of his thigh before grazing the sharp edges of your teeth against it. Only those who truly care to sink their teeth into one another because it is done out of choice, not hunger. You lick the salt of his skin before biting in, you feel the puncture of skin and flesh against your teeth, the flood of warm blood trickling down your throat. Max shudders, with the corner of your eyes you see him burrowing into Oberyn’s neck who is holding him tightly as you swallow. 

Max tastes sweet. He always has, despite his sometimes unagreeable personality. Warm blood trickles from the corner of your lips, down your throat, he kisses and nips at Oberyn’s strong neck. 

When you part, you’re whole again. 

“Come here,” Oberyn mutters and without waiting, he grabs you by the neck and crashes your lips together. He slides his tongue over yours, tasting Max, he swallows the moans you make. Meanwhile, Max’s fingers trace between your wet folds, swirl around your clit. He bites the top swell of your breast and you flinch, yet leans into the sharp pain at the same time. 

“I want you so bad,” Max groans between swallows. “You taste so sweet.” 

“Do you want him to fuck you?” Oberyn asks against your lips. He already knows the answer but you nod helplessly. “Let us switch places then.” 

You lay down where the two were sitting not moments ago. Max settles between your legs and as he does you still feel the throb caused by his fangs above your breast. He leans in quickly, as if you might vanish into the night, and claims your lips, tasting himself, you, and Oberyn on your tongue. 

“Gonna fuck you so good,” he says with a slurred speech. “Gonna fuck you so good that you’re never gonna leave again.” 

Your heart sinks a little further down your chest, beating painfully at his words. You nod because you don’t know what else to say or do. The heft of his cock lays heavy over the softness of your stomach. You arch your back gently, wishing to see his face twisting with pleasure instead of bitterness. It works, it must have because, at the graze of your skin, his lips part with a gasp. 

“She won’t,” Oberyn answers instead. “I think our little fox learned her lesson about leaving.” 

You swallow thickly and nod. You fear that maybe forgiveness is most certainly out of reach—that Oberyn could never forgive you, not truly. He drags you away from your thoughts with a touch to your lips, your eyes flutter as he slightly parts your lips and feels your fang under his finger. 

He doesn’t say anything but the gesture is enough to relax your guilt-ridden heart. Oberyn’s gaze shifts to Max’s back. He makes a show of spitting into his hand and jerking himself, a fresh wave of arousal wets your thighs at the sight. 

“Do you think you will be able to take me?” 

Max nods and pushes himself back to grind against his lord’s cock, “Yes,” he breathes out. 

“Good. I am feeling impatient today.” 

You watch breathlessly as Max’s face morphs into one of absolute pleasure. His brows furrow and jaw drops, face growing slack. He moans loudly only an inch away from your face, his breath fanning your heated skin. You cradle his face and pull him to your lips. You two meet in a sloppy kiss as Oberyn buries himself to the hilt. The other man shudders and gasps into your mouth, he falls into your neck. Your lips snug against his forehead, you reach between your sweaty bodies and wrap your fingers around his weeping cock, you guide it to your core, urging him to bury his cock deep into you. 

“I thought you were going to fuck me so good that I would never want to leave again, Maxy. Show me what I missed.” 

He whimpers but manages to push himself up, Oberyn keeps still as Max thrusts forward, sliding into you with ease. Your eyes roll to the back of your head. He always stretches you so thoroughly, filling you up perfectly. Max adorns your neck with kisses and soon Oberyn pulls back and pushes forward, the movement forcing Max to fuck you even deeper. 

You thread your fingers through Max’s hair and pull him closer, making sure he can kiss and suck on your neck as he thrusts into you. His hips move sloppily thanks to Oberyn pistoning from behind, the heat building quickly between your bodies as he fucks further and further into the other. Oberyn’s hands are all over Max, gripping his hips and guiding his motions as he fucks him hard. Oberyn grunts and drops down to sink his teeth into there Max’s neck meets his shoulder. Max’s hips stutter with a pitiful whine tearing from his throat. Oberyn feasts on his blood, moaning into his veins as his hips hammer into him. You can feel the sheer strength in Oberyn’s thrusts, and it only adds to the mind-numbing pleasure coursing through you.

A sudden pulse of pleasure washes over you as you clench around him, Max moans out loud. 

“Fuck baby, are you gonna come?” he nuzzles your neck and you let out an equally pitiful whine, your entire body burning, trembling, with him filling you over and over again. “Please come,” he says in a daze. “Come for me, baby, please. I want it so bad, come on my cock and I’ll fill you up so good—please please please—” 

“F—Fuck, Max—” You feel the familiar heat pooling in your stomach, your body only needed that final nudge to tumble off the edge. But Max is lost in the pleasure, only taking what he’s given. You beg for him to fuck you harder and he hears none of it, his lips pressed into your neck, inhaling your scent. Oberyn, however, knows what you need. He always does. His hands move to grip your hips as well, pulling you back against Max with each thrust.

Your skin goes taut over muscle. The sensations overwhelm you as you come with a loud cry, clenching around Max’s cock as he surprisingly follows suit, his own cries mixing with yours. 

“Look at my sweet pets,” Oberyn breathes, burying himself even deeper, pushing both you and Max together. Max chokes on a cry, his hard cock still throbbing as he spills himself into you. Your lips part wide and Oberyn sneaks two fingers between your lips, pressing them into your tongue. “Look at me as I come,” he growls as Max whines for more, his body pliant and willing. 

Oberyn groans and stills, buried deep inside Max, he finds his own release. He doesn’t break his gaze from you as he fills and fills and fills the other man. You feel him leaking as his spend trickles down and moves down your spread cunt. Your lids flutter yet, you still manage not to look away, wanting desperately to please your lord. 

“Good little fox,” he teases, pressing further one last time before pulling away. His fingers leave your mouth and Max collapses on top of you, his chest heaving as he continues to breathe heavily in post-coital bliss. 

You quickly wrap your arms around him, his cock softening inside of you, “Good boy,” you mutter. “You felt so fucking good Max, I’ve missed your cock.” 

His cock twitches with interest and he smiles, “If you continue with the dirty talk I might have to fuck you again.” 

Oberyn lays beside you and pulls you both towards his sweaty chest. Your bodies are a tangle of limbs and sweat as you all catch your breath, slowly coming down from the intense high. Max rolls off of you, sliding between you and Oberyn, but you don’t mind the loss of his warmth as Oberyn kisses you, holding you close to them both, not allowing you to pull away. 

“If you ever leave there won’t be a third time,” he says against your lips, your breath catches in his throat upon hearing the silent threat in his tone. Max presses his lips right above Oberyn’s sternum, kissing him slowly as if to calm him. Oberyn pays no mind. “Tell me you understand what I am telling you.” 

“I understand, my lord.” 

Both of them stiffen for a second before loosening up, Oberyn smiles. 

“Good.” 

[anonymous-dentist]

But also:

-

It’s a little funny how Penacony is intergalactically-renowned as a ‘dream world’ when everything in it is a goddamn nightmare.

The lights? Too bright, flashing, colorful: red and blue and pink and orange and colors that can only exist in the distorted subconscious that the dream realm is built upon.

The sounds? Too loud, too everywhere: cars honking and bands playing and people screaming and advertisement boards chasing you down begging for you to check out their home store because even a dimension entirely made out of dreams has fallen into the immoral clutches of capitalism.

Cellbit hates it. He hates everything about it, actually, down to the strange fluttering in his stomach every time he passes by a sentient traffic cone and the buzzing in his head when he drinks too much SoulGlad.

But the IPC has their eyes on the planet, and so Cellbit is here before Cucurucho and the rest of the IPC Census Bureau can arrive and take stock of the people they’re ready to enslave. You can’t die in a dream, but maybe Cellbit can kill Cucurucho good enough in the dream realm that she’ll wake up in the hotel and have a heart attack at the memory of their own death.

Wouldn’t that be nice?

Cellbit sips at his SoulGlad with a faint smile on his lips. Penacony is supposed to make his dreams come true, right? Maybe the Family can allow him just one little murder before sicking their Bloodhounds on him.

“This stuff sucks,” Roier complains, slumping against the bar with his still-full glass in hand. “Why don’t they just serve water here?”

More important than the IPC and Cucurucho, however, is the Fool by Cellbit’s side. It’s Roier’s birthday, and he wanted a nice vacation to get away from the whole ‘revenge quest’ thing they’ve been doing for the past couple of common galactic month cycles. He wanted his dream vacation, and so Cellbit got him just that: a vacation inside of a literal dream.

“You’re in a dream, and you just want water?” the bartender incredulously asks. She shakes her head and walks away to the other end of the bar to handle a drunk wine bottle complaining about her ex husband the whiskey.

“It’s my birthday!” Roier whines. He smushes his cheek against the sticky bar top and squeezes his eyes shut. “Even the water tastes like shit! It’s all sparkly and stuff!”

Cellbit rolls his eyes. “It’s sparkling water, pendejo. I don’t think they even have water on Penacony. Just alcohol.”

Roier groans dramatically. “I want to go home!”

‘Home’ being Cellbit’s ship, the Ordem. It’s a tiny little thing- so small that he and Roier have to share a bed in the closet pretending to be sleeping quarters- but it sure beats trying to hitchhike between planets. (Cellbit knows from experience.)

Cellbit gently pats Roier’s back. “If you aren’t having fun here, we can go somewhere else. Unlimited dream worlds, remember? There’s gotta be something you’ll like.”

Currently, they’re in Golden Hour. But Cellbit thinks there’s a dream realm that’s one big huge restaurant somewhere, Roier should like that. He likes food, and he likes the natural chaos that comes with a restaurant full of rich entitled people.

But Roier just shakes his head and cracks an eye open to look up at Cellbit.

“Can we just… go back to our room?” he asks. “Maybe we can come back later, but only if they have actual fucking water!”

He sits up and shouts that last bit at the bartender, who just sighs and continues consoling the wine bottle. (Apparently, the whiskey cheated on her with a bottle of champagne from the amusement park realm. Wow, what a piece of shit.)

Cellbit’s face softens, and he nods. “Of course. And maybe we’ll get to kill Cucurucho when we come back.”

Roier smiles at that. “Ay, don’t get my hopes up.”

Because Roier’s best friend and son have been ‘acquired’ by the Census Bureau, and Cellbit’s whole planet was destroyed by the Census Bureau’s actions. Cucurucho needs to die, simple. And they’re going to make it happen, even in their dreams.

[kiryoutann]

thinking of between kisses childe as a dad 😫 i remember this scene from queen charlotte where she gives birth and i def think childe would do this… reader calling out for him but they wont let him in but he just threatens them 😭😭 https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MaRgAsP-xTQ

THAT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITE SCENE FROM QUEEN CHARLOTTE (i need to rewatch it again)!!! and i see it, anon. i see it!! AHH, and now that u mention it, im so torn between writing ajax like king george or ajax in my other hc.

like, the king george-kinda ajax gonna be threatening people trying to stop him from entering bcs there's "womanly work afoot" and telling him to wait outside, when his wife is audibly screaming in pain????? bad idea. they must've gone mad. and it didn't take much for his threats to leave his mouth; some snezhnaya way of saying "listen here you little shite-" and they ended up letting him enter before gorey stuff starts to happen.

king george-kinda ajax enters the room like he was about to kill someone, but when his eyes landed on MC's pained expression.. fuck, his eyes went SOFT as he rush to her side. gonna brush her hair back while giving reassurance, praises saying she can do this.

if you're into comedic one, one of my headcanon for dad! ajax is that he thinks he KNOWS IT ALL. around month 7 or 8 of the pregnancy, he's gonna act like he got everything under control whenever MC shows SLIGHT fear of childbirth just bcs of "i've seen this with tonia and teucer" blablabla. but when it DID happen?? oh, he's a mess.

he's a mess and dmitri knows it too (both guys panicking inside. but ajax's gonna be denial about his and MUCH WORSE that dmitri gotta calm himself down to CALM HIS EMPEROR). dmitri saying "Your Majesty, please breathe" and ajax, visibly sweating and brain short-circuited, saying "i got this under control dmitri. i'm calm I'M CALM." and when MC calls out for him, DESPITE HIS FEAR (pls give him a little bit credit here) he rushes into the room.

this ajax does the same as the king george-kinda ajax - reassuring her, praising her. but the difference, THIS ajax kinda went.. overboard with it that he runs his mouth EVERY TIME and saying every words every praises that somehow it shift your brain from the pain to the annoyance and irritation you're starting to feel. "i know you can do this, my love. you're in pain, i know, but i'm sure *insert full speech in snezhnayan*".

AT FIRST, it's sweet, and you smiled grimaced at him. but after the pain become intense, the last thing u wanna hear is his voice telling how you're gonna be fine, you're gonna do well. his "breathe, my love, breathe. you're doing so well, darling. you look radiant! like a goddess bringing new life to the world." like, man. BE QUIET.

mc gonna snap at him "shut up. SHUT UP!! I HATE YOU! THIS... IS ALL YOUR FAULT!! for once in your life, ajax, close your damned mouth or i'll see you flayed and quartered!"

it was PURE HORROR EXPERIENCE FOR HIM. and after your baby is born, ajax. doesn't. move. an inch from his place from fear that... he's gonna meet his death by his wife's hands.

[the-soliloquies-of-sadists]

#342

“Well fuck!  I know it’s end of the day on a Friday, but you still have an hour and a half of work you owe me.  Jesus, you have already changed out of your ranch work clothes into going-to-the-roadhouse clothes.  You look ridiculous.  You go from being an actual cowboy working with the herds on a ranch to dressing like a wannabe city cowboy who goes to watch the rodeo during the day and then line dances, gets rowdy drunk, and gropes up some skank ho who believes every cowboy line you feed her before taking her round the roadhouse for a pathetic back-alley blowjob at night.  Good lord, those jeans look sprayed on.  There’s no way anyone can miss your junk up front…. 

“Wait, is that one of…  Did you open up one of my beers?  Jesus fuck.  When I allowed you to stay in the workers quarters around back as part of this job, I told you that food and drink was your responsibility.

“Look, we need to have a talk.  It’s been three weeks since I hired you on.  Now is as good as time as any to go over how you are doing.  Into the barn now!

“Holy shit, no wonder why you wear those jeans; your ass is on display.  I swear if you were to fart, that seam would split open. 

“Go into the center….  Got you motherfucker….  Urgh….  Ahh….

“Shut the fuck up.  I was roping cattle since I was nine.  Tying up a scrawny five-foot seven pseudo cowboy wearing very restrictive jeans is nothing for me.  Now look at you, your limb bound together so can’t move a muscle lying on the ground totally vulnerable.  Damn, my tying skills are amazing.

“Now let’s talk about your performance the past few weeks.  You suck.  You do a half assed job, and it shows.  You make mistakes, nothing major.  But still.  Now you want to cut out early?  Fuck that.

“When I hired you, I heard about your reputation of being a brat, not interacting well with others.  I figured you just needed a job with little interaction with others.  Now I understand fully that you are a fuck up.

“So, I am in a predicament.  What the fuck do I do with you?...  Shut up!  That was a rhetorical question.  See, my ranch is one of the smaller ones around, and I can’t pay as much as some of the corporate ones around here.  So I’m stuck with a worker who sucks.

“Heh, interesting choice of words hunh?...  You know I spent eight years in the Corps right out of high school?  Yeah, I don’t have many things from my time in.  But the one thing I use quite often is this: my Ka-Bar knife.  This knife is so functional, I keep it sharpened.  If you were impressed with my roping, wait until you experience how I handle this knife. 

“With one swipe, the seam of your jeans now has a hole in it.  And like that, I have further ripped the hole, so your entire ass crack is exposed.  Another tug,… now your cock and balls are free.  I should say your tiny cock. 

“Now you are in a predicament.  Your limbs are bound and your asshole is exposed for all to see.  Let me ask you again.  What am I going to do with you? 

“I see you drank half your beer.  I would hate to see the rest of it go to waste.  It should go into the sewer, your sewer.  Hold still.  The bottle is still cold.  Your asshole is twitching.  You ever have a beer enema?  No?  Well, half a bottle should be enough.  You feel it?  You should start to feel the effects quite fast….  You’re drunk hunh? 

“You know?  If I let you continue working here, I think I will require you to wear those jeans from now on.  It will keep your mind focused on who is in charge here. 

“And just to show you that I’m not a total asshole, I’m going to let you see my ass and dick.  That’s only fair.  I’ll just take mine off….

“This is a real cowboy cock.  Eight inches long and seven inches around.  I got a serious leak going on.  Check out my ass.  This is a real cowboy ass, not one poured into jeans.  This ass came about from decades of hard work.  You should see it up close.  Here, you aren’t going anywhere, let me just squat over your face.  Smell that?  That stink is not from not wiping, but being in the saddle all day in the sun.  That’s saddle stink.  You will learn to love it….

“What the fuck?  Did you just lick me?  Jesus fuck you did!  Holy shit!  Damn boy, either that beer enema got you really drunk or… you’re a faggot!  Oh my god, your dick is rock hard.  I got me a faggot working for me.  Here eat some more of my hole boy.  You seem to have no problem with the saddle stink.

“Oh man, you have done this before haven’t you?  I take it from you moan that you have.  Fuck, you are one nasty pig.  Wasn’t expecting this to happen from you, but fuck your tongue really belongs in my shitter.  You really got me leaking.

“I need your hole now….  No! I’m not untying you until I’m done.  This is not supposed to be comfortable for you.  I want you tied in that position. 

“Feel my leak on your hole?  That’s all the lube you are going to get.

“Scream motherfucker.  Scream!  Clamp down, don’t let one drop of beer go.  Oh man, does your hole feel good, and a beer filled one at that.  Fuck.  Quit squirming.  You are interrupting my rhythm.  I’m not going to last long.  It’s been a week since I last shot, and I am ready to breed this hole.

“I’m going to do it!  I’m going to cum.  You ready?  You don’t deserve this load.  But fuck I deserve to nut.  Here it cums.  Here it cums!  Ahh ahh ahh!  Fuck.  Ah.  Oh man.

“Going forward this hole is mine.  Part of your job is to serve my cock.  What my cock wants, it gets.  Clamp down.  I’m about to pull out.  I want my cum and beer to be in you for a while. 

“Fuck, you look good tied up.  Let me get you bound in a different painful position.  I’m going to untie you.  Keep in mind, you are sore from being in that position, you are drunk, I am bigger than you, and I know how to handle livestock.  So don’t do something stupid and try to run.  You are going to be tied down in one way or another this entire weekend.  Stand on these blocks and lift your hands up high….

“…There, you are.  You look good spread eagle with your wrists tied to those posts. And if I kick those blocks you were standing on, on your tip toes you go.  Well, I’m going to be back in an hour or two.  I’m going to call some friends over from the canyon.  They are a couple that got me into tying up and fucking queers like yourself.  You are definitely their type.

“Yeah, now you know what’s really expected of you for this job, I think you are work out fine going forward, don’t you think?”

[avionvadion]

For as unhinged and brutal as October is going to be, January to... (looks at my notes)... Early Febuary is going to be so very chaotic and fun.

Reason being? Skully (depending on how the event ends) and Fellow/Gidel are going to be in Ramshackle. Everyone has to live with them. Eleanora has to figure out how to handle them. All immediately after returning from the Glorious Masquerade at Noble Bell College.

And it's mostly going to pertain of Fellow pestering her constantly to help him understand what on earth the textbooks are trying to teach him, answer various questions about how to read a specific word, and overall helping him with study guides- which actually helps her in the end, too, since she's not from that world- and teaching Gidel the alphabet, which she actually enjoys because he's a really sweet kid, and when she's not helping Gidel then Skully probably is per request of Eleanora.

Also Eleanora just acting as Fellow's "conscience" because he falls back into his habit of conning people and pickpocketing them and every time she has to be like, "Do you want to pass the test? Do you want me to teach you how to read the thing? Stop it." And he's like, "You drive a hard bargain, lil' lady," because Fellow is older than her but she's the "dorm leader" of Ramshackle and the official big sister/mother figure of NRC because damn it this school needs therapists but here she is doing it all unpaid anyways.

But back to the point! VDC.

El ends up being appointed by Vil to be the group "Manager". She mostly just takes pictures and offers advice here and there, because please give Epel boots that raise his height closer to Kalim's, it's so distracting since he's not the main center and also the choreography you hired did this based on YOUR ability, Vil, not THEIRS. They can not learn BALLET in such a short time. You are a boy band, not TRAINED BALLERINAS. Meanwhile Skully and Fellow will be carrying water bottles and packs of gatorade, while Gidel sits at a little table in the corner practicing his alphabet with a little bag of gummy bears, trailmix that has those little m&ms, and a bottle of apple juice- courtesy of Epel. Skully helps Fellow and Gidel with their homework since there isn't much else for them to do since they brought the drinks.

And it's like, just a whole month and a quarter of pure CHAOS as Eleanora adjusts to having a conman, his adorable mute little brother, and a lowkey psychopath all a part of her dorm, while also having to deal with Rook 24/7 and sneaking around trying to teach Kalim how to cook because he got curious, and having to ask Rook for aloe in the middle of the night because Kalim accidentally burned his pinky finger putting cheese on an omelette because they don't want Jamil to find out.

Also Vil having the biggest guilt over cursing the Trey snacks without telling Eleanora even though he knows having a curse overlap her curse WILL kill her because of the events of Playful Land, and him being so confused because he doesn't know why he didn't speak to her about it first before cursing them since he knows about her unique condition and it is her dorm and he did give explicit permission that she's allowed to snack while the boys aren't, and he's just really baffled by his own behavior, but there's a specific reason for it that if you've figured it out then you know I think I've been making it obvious but it's really just another hint showing Vil is reaching his breaking point and Rook is giving him the suspicious concerned bombastic side eye the whole time because he knows the stress is getting to him.

And Jamil. Eleanora hates Jamil with a passion. Vil is gonna call her out on being cold to him and she's just going to be like, "He fucking tried to kill me. He almost did kill me. If not for Azul having a potion on hand, I'd be fucking dead again. Me being "cold" and "ignoring" him? Is me being civil. Do not order me around in my own dorm."

Vil: "...You know what, understood. BACK TO FACIAL CARE EXPLANATIONS. Ahem! Kalim, come here, will you?"

Eleanora adores Kalim. Adeuce are her besties. Epel is a sweetie who's always helping Eleanora out when Adeuce aren't available; it makes Epel happy to help her, since he's usually carrying heavy things for her which, to him, is a "manly" thing to do, as she's still cleaning up the dorm a bit and prepping the guest room. Rook is still kinda weird and it's a little creepy how he seems to know certain things and always shows up right when they need him with the exact thing they need (the aloe, for example, why did he have that?) but she's decided not to think about it. It's rocky with Vil, because of the curse thing, but he's genuinely trying to make up for it so while she's accepted his apology but hasn't forgiven him for it she is trying to soften up towards him because he's clearly regretting what he did.

Absolutely spoils Gidel. Fellow and Skully are both rocky, but she's still friendly with them unless Fellow is conning people or stirring up trouble. The ghosts, Moe, Larry, and Curly, are enjoying the liveliness of the house, and everyone is always surprised when some of the cafeteria ghosts stop by with prune juice or spinach puffs and just snacks and drinks filled with lots of iron for El because she's always often so "anemic".

October is gonna be dramatic and brutal, but January to early February is gonna be HILARIOUS chaos.

[theproverbialpen]

Musings from a Hazbin Fan and Hotel Employee

Yeah, that's right—I'm posting to this blog for the first time in years because I got into Hazbin Hotel of all things. Not only did I get into this cursed fandom, I'm writing fan fiction for it. Fan fiction. I think the last time I wrote fanfiction was...2012? 2013? And I only ever told 3 people about that one. Now here I am posting on main. The brainrot truly is unquantifiable.

If you're one of the few people that survived the purge of those I know IRL, congratulations. Please don't judge me lol. Anyways, actual musings are below the cut!

So I’m writing a fun little fanfic on AO3 and after someone left a comment (if you’re reading this, still genuinely one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me about my craft), it occured to me—as a Hazbin Hotel enjoyer, I have a pretty unique perspective on the series as an IRL hospitality professional. So! Thought it would be some cute bonus content to talk a little bit more about my life at an actual hotel and how it’s impacted my experience with Vivziepop’s hit series. 

Please note: this is written purely for shits and giggles. I don’t actually have any issues with the setting of Vivzie’s narrative or how it plays into the stories she and her team want to tell. I fucking love this show, to a potentially unhealthy degree, and I haven’t had this much fun with a series since like…okay well my hyperfixations change like every few months, but still. Point is, this isn’t actually critique, or satire, or anything with negative or critical intentions. TLDR; this post is for funsies, get off my dick.

So Who TF Am I, Anyways?

A little background on myself, for context. I’ve been employed at my hotel for almost a year now, and it’s my first hospitality job. I work in the Sales and Events department and I’ve come to learn that Group Business is actually integral for keeping a hotel up and running. When your average person (read: me before this job) thinks about hotels and traveling, you’d think it’s all about the families, bloggers, and individual travelers when it comes to guests and revenue. But in actuality, most of a hotel’s revenue—at least in the market I work in—will come from contracted room blocks and events. 

That’s where folks in my department come in. We work with clients to negotiate contracts and secure occupants for our hotel year round. Simply put, if we don’t do our jobs well, then no one else gets hours. So as much as the anti-capitalist in me will sometimes hate being a cog in the machine, it is really fulfilling to be able to help clients meet their needs while also making sure my coworkers are able to put food on the table. 

Speaking of being a cog in the machine, because of my role in Sales, this means that whenever I travel or think about hotels, I’m always thinking about the revenue side of things. I also work more with the Events team, so operations are also on the forefront of my mind. Which leads me to my principal quandary for this little blog post:

How in the Hell does the Hazbin Operate?

I have a laundry list of questions. A laundry list that’s almost as big as the actual pile of dirty laundry that is currently plaguing my bedroom floor. I will summarize (which is a generous word given how fucking verbose I can be) below:

Issue #1: Revenue Generation

Okay listen, I know Charlie is the Princess of Hell. I know she probably has unlimited capital, whatever that looks like in the HelluVerse. And I know the Hazbin is literally there to help rehabilitate people so charging them to stay would be counterproductive.

But my dude…do you understand how much money would be needed to run an operation of this scale?

At the end of Season 1, the new Hazbin is huge. Like it easily looks as big, if not bigger, than the hotel I work at which has nearly 500 rooms. Do you know how much revenue our team has to generate to keep this place running? Do you know how many millions our target goal is set at for each quarter? How many hundreds of thousands my coworkers’ individual quotas are set to? And sunshine in a bottle over here doesn’t charge her residents anything????? 

How does she get all those decorations? How does she order food or inventory? We know Hell has an economy, like Angel literally says he needs to save money for drugs in his first appearance. Is she…does she even pay her staff???

It is utterly appalling that Charlie is able to operate a hotel of this scale, both because of how it doesn’t make sense from a business perspective and because there are IRL billionaires that could probably do the same thing and solve homelessness overnight. 

Speaking of scale:

Issue #2: The Hazbin’s Systems, Or Lack Thereof

Okay so, yes, there’s only like…one official resident of the hotel, maybe two if Cherri moves in and doesn’t become a staff member (RIP Pentious, you would have loved living with Cherri Bomb). With the staff the way it is, that’s a solid 5:1 ratio, which is beyond ideal. But—and I touch on this in the fic—I feel I must reiterate: the new Hazbin is fucking massive. And you know what that means? It’s going to be able to hold a lot of guests. Guests that will need staff to take care of them. Let’s review:

Charlie is the owner and mostly teaches classes. Vaggie is the co-owner and kind of acts as the Executive Assistant to Charlie’s General Manager. I guess Alastor is the Hotel Manager? I’m gonna be honest, I have no idea what he does, but generally speaking he’s supposed to be the jack of all trades and manage the rest of the staff. Niffty handles Housekeeping and I guess would be the director of that. Husk is the bartender but like canonically only really eats pub food so he definitely can’t be the Food & Beverage head. 

Let’s say we scrap the Sales and Revenue Departments because clearly they don’t need income, but we keep a Marketing position so that Charlie can get the word out about the hotel. That leaves us with the need for Engineering, Front Desk, Rooms, and F&B staff. And like, not just one person—that would fucking suck—but proper staff. And given their track record of organization and managing the hotel…let’s just say, I would not be applying to the Hazbin Hotel anytime soon. Honestly, it sounds like that job would qualify to be the new tenth circle of Hell. 

What Does the Hazbin Get Right About IRL Hospitality?

So yes, clearly the world of the Hazbin Hotel leans towards the more fanciful—it is a story about Hell after all. However, there have been some moments that have made me chuckle as a hotel employee, things that are relatable for us in the hospitality world. Allow me to highlight them for you below:

Everyone is Bat Shit Crazy

Hospitality professionals are weird. So weird. Before I started my job, I was terrified of the level of professionality I would need to have. When I first got hired, I was given a whole packet on dress code and appropriate conduct. As you can probably tell from my writing style, this was concerning: I can be professional when I need to be, but I cannot maintain that guise for extended periods of time. Call it my toxic trait.

I also already had this impression of poised and put-together hotel staff from my previous experiences with travel. All the Front Desk agents would be in these clean and wrinkle-free clothes with kind yet business-forward attitudes, office workers would be walking around in full suits, and occasionally you’d see the hotel management on the floor if you were looking. Let me tell you now—it is a facade. An act. An incredible stage production unfolding in real time where all the staff do their absolute damndest to make you feel like you are in an organized and professional institution. Not unlike a certain hit animated musical.

My direct supervisor, the literal Director of Catering and Events, once told me that being a liiiiiittle crazy was a prerequisite for working in our department during the hiring process for a new Sales Manager. She was wrong—the prerequisite is not “a little” crazy. The prerequisite is being bat shit insane. And it’s not just our department, oh noooOoooOo, it is every department. Downstairs in our little basement dungeon, we make out of pocket comments, scream at random intervals, and swear way more than we should (that one might be my fault…according to my partner I swear more at work than at home and apparently it’s rubbing off on my colleagues), but that behavior is in no way restricted to just the Sales Team. 

I process the checks that are sent to our property and our Director of Rooms makes me say “can I get a WITNESSSS” before she signs off on the drop log (Charlie-core). If I don’t say it high pitched enough or with enough vigor, she makes me do it again. I once watched a guy in Engineering climb a tall step ladder balanced with two legs on a platform and a third leg balanced on a wooden plank his coworker was holding steady. The fourth leg was over the open air. Let me reiterate: the open. Fucking. Air. Tell me you can’t see Angel Dust and Cherri doing that shit.

Speaking of Engineering, you wanna know what dumbass thing happened just this morning? The Regional Director of the department—regional meaning he manages teams all across our area, like top level type shit—told us about this cursed ass Instagram trend he found where allegedly, putting ketchup on a Kit Kat tasted like fudge. So right there and then, him, myself, and two other coworkers decided ‘why the fuck not?’:

I would never seek it out willingly again, but I honestly didn’t hate it. 

The point of all of this is to say—the antics the Hazbin crew get up to? Totally realistic. I could see my coworker Robert throwing me into an active battlefield against my will. We have deadass done the role playing thing Angel and Pentious did during our trainings, and it was just as unhinged. Every day some shit happens at this hotel and I’m just like, “Yup. That could happen in Hazbin.”

“Call Now! Or Don’t! I Don’t Care! We Still Don’t Have a Working Phone!”

I would like to preface this section by saying: if you happen to be a Front Desk associate, I’m sorry. This is not directed at you, this is directed at your managers and their communication skills that may or may not exist. If you are somehow a manager reading this, uh—first of all, cringe. Second of all, I hope these next few paragraphs don’t apply to you. If they do and you’re offended: that’s a certified you-problem, babes. 

There are three certainties in this life: death, taxes, and miscommunication from your fucking managers. Tell me why in this past week alone I have been in 5 different email threads regarding fuck-ups and complaints from guests about things that we had clearly communicated. Tell me why in these email threads, people were attempting to throw me under the bus or shift the blame to my team. Tell me why I have gone to every single individual office in my department complaining about this. Tell me why this isn’t the first time this has happened.

Another hotel tidbit: across the board, Q1 (Jan-Mar) is supposed to be slow, for all of hospitality. It’s the time to get the metaphorical phone lines working, ya know? Our Q1 was stupidly busy, so I get it, people were slammed and short staffed. But like… we had time. Time to iron out our communication, time to create systems and processes that would ensure we’d be all set when things got busier. Yet here I am at the start of Q2 with an entire fist shoved up my ass being puppeted around to fix other people’s mistakes. 

It’s times like these when I go back to rewatch Hazbin for the like 26th time and I watch Charlie and Alastor run the hotel and I’m just like “whyyYyYyYyYyYy”. Like I KNOW Vaggie has had days where she’s like, “what…what am I supposed to be doing right now? Like what is my job, what… What?” 

It’s not just Front Desk either. It’s every department, even my own bosses. Like the call is coming from inside the house, sweetie, why did you tell this Sales Manager that I was taking care of all her commissions but you didn’t tell me this. Why am I blocking a room for an Orientation the following Monday at fucking 5:45 PM on a Friday. Why am I JUST finding out about a VIP guest when I have been asking you if you had any notes for me for the whole week.

I touch on it in my fic as well but like…pretty sure Charlie just, decides to host her classes day of. And that drives me insane. Like I…there are processes. Things that need to be done so that everyone is on the same page. You don’t just wing this shit, that’s how you end up with Susan calling your Director to tell her that you’re a useless waste of space not even deserving of the air in your lungs because you didn’t give her her fucking breakfast voucher. 

As a character, I love Alastor. If I were ever in the same room as him, I’d probably hate him. But if there’s anything relatable about that Geneva Convention Violation on Legs it’s his absolutely done attitude in Episode 1’s opening commercial.

Charlie Loves Helping People, and So Do We!

Alright, I’ve complained for enough paragraphs, let’s be positive for a second. The thing that is by far the most true to life in Hazbin Hotel is how much joy Charlie gets from taking care of her guests. Like…that’s our bread and butter in the hospitality world. Well, maybe just the butter; we need that bread in the form of cold hard cash (or direct deposits, whatever works best). But as much as I will bitch and moan about the difficulties of working in a hotel, there’s nothing quite as fulfilling as a guest telling you that you made their entire trip better. The butterflies I get reading reviews where my coworkers are mentioned by name and a guest writes about how we completely turned around their bad day are an absolute delight. It just means the world knowing that you can have that kind of impact on someone, even if it’s just in the little things.

In Episode 2, when Charlie and the crew are welcoming Sir Pentious and she just starts vibrating with excitement is exactly how I feel when I get to meet a client that we’ve been working with for months and finally welcome them to our property. When they sing “It Starts With Sorry” and just get to have a moment of empathy and compassion together, it reminds me of the clients and the phone calls I take where I get to ask them about their goals and help them feel like they’re supported and heard. In the grand scheme of things, is a nice phone call or interaction with some hotel employee going to change your life? Probably not. But for those few moments when their burdens seem lighter is why I love my job.

This goes for guests, and for my fellow coworkers. I’ve been very blessed to start my hospitality career in an unusually supportive work culture. Yeah, we can be some right petty bitches sometimes, but overall everyone is so encouraging and so quick to help lighten each other’s loads. Like in Episode 5 (best episode btw, for obvious reasons) when all the Hazbin Crew are working together to prepare the hotel for Lucifer’s arrival, that shit made me so giddy cause like- that’s us! Look at us go! We workin together so hard, we’re so cute! Like when Niffty and Pentious are baking and she looks up at him all excited n’ shit—that’s literally been me working with our Director of Restaurants on new food menus or promotional material. 

There’s something about being in an occupation where your whole purpose is to take care of people that really brings out the selflessness in you, and I think that’s what makes the hotel such a great setting for Charlie’s mission of redemption. I didn’t realize that until writing this paragraph tbh, but yeah, it just kinda…works. When your job is to make sure other people have a good time and feel supported and you’re surrounded by people that make you feel the same way, it’s a lot easier to want to choose to do good, to do right by the people around you. So as much as I have some silly little nitpicks…yeah, I can admit—I love that this show is about the Hazbin Hotel specifically.

Anyways, if you made it this far, thanks for reading! Next update for Life is In Redemption will be out in the days to come, just thought this would be a fun addition while I work on some of the content with my friends. This upcoming chapter is going to have a co-author, so get hyyyyyped :)

[shizuokadivision]

It was a lot of work getting his giant crate of a gift and himself into Shizuoka, much less into the Kito family's manor. Yet here he was, standing alone in the spacious tatami room. Yano felt just an ounce of stress lifted from his shoulders now that he had accomplished the first step to his plans. Only an ounce, seeing that he knew this birthday surprise could easily be a big mistake on his part. Putting aside the fact that he was in some strange, unspecified relationship with a yakuza boss, he was growing more worried that the pounding in his chest was not fear, but something much, much worse.

“This is just courtesy. The Shizuoka team always spoils me f-for some reason… I gotta return the favor. Yeah, that's all. Nothing else. Just hand over the present and do my thing-”

“Hey there, Yano.”

The poor man froze in his spot at the utterance of his name. As Yano turned to face the voice, he couldn't help but shrink into himself once he saw the Kito-gumi boss watching him from the door.

“H-Hey Sakura…”

He stood silently, taking in her appearance. But before any of his mixed thoughts could form Yano began to panic as Sakura slowly approached him. Stopping her from doing or saying anything, the artist grabs her arms to keep her at a distance.

“W-Wait! Don't you want to see my present?” Motioning his head to the large wooden crate, he nervously rambled. “I wanted to get it out of the box before you got here but I guess your men were faster… It's nothing bad! Just needed to be packed well so it wouldn't break…”

With some effort and a lot of complaining that he could get it out for her, Yano revealed a new piece he had crafted: A large decorative mirror with a glass frame. Most strikingly, a large blue dragon sparkled along the left side of the amber frame, its mouth open in a silent cry.

Standing off to the side, Yano let her stare at his work. At that moment he used her distraction to his advantage to bumble around with the last part of the gift… Technically, it was just him, but he was putting in the extra effort of offering himself up with a collar and leash set that quickly fastened around his neck. Clearing his throat, he nervously stepped forward with the chain in hand.

“A-And of course… Knowing you don't really care about that stuff, you can have me… Whatever you want. Just for tonight! I-I can't stay here too long, since I have to be at an auction t-tomorrow. I'm doing this stuff since it's convenient you know? Seeing I am in the city for a few days-”

In an instant the end of the leash was snatched up by Sakura, yanking Yano close in a strangled yelp. Staring up at her, he felt the start of fresh tears collect in the corners of his eyes as all he could gasp under her intense gaze was a bewildered, pathetic, “H…H-Happy birthday?”

“Reika you bitch. You fucking knew didn't you?” Sakura thought as she stared down at Yano. She gave the chain another harsh tug as Sakura imagined the smug look on Reika’s face when she learned she was correct. Still, she wasn’t going to waste the gift Yano was offering to her, and well as much as she hated to admit Reika’s gift was going to be very useful at the moment. 

“I hope you know offering yourself to me like this was dangerous Yano but don't worry I’ll be gentle well at least in the beginning.” Sakura purred. Forcing Yano onto his feet Sakura walked out of the room dragging Yano using the chain collar like he was some sort of dog behind her to her personal quarters not at all caring that quite a few of her men were staring at the scene in front of them. 

“Should we…should we worry for Ietsuna?” Lucille questioned somewhat bewildered at the sight in front of her. 

“Lucy I love you dear but the Boss has been needing something like this for a while now.” Hikaru grinned glad that Sakura was going to get some tonight. 

“Agree but come on not even a little bit of sympathy for the man?” 

“I’m only questioning the Boss’ taste in men.” 

“Fengzhui rude.”

“You can't say you aren't thinking the same thing.” 

“Sensitive crybabies Nurarihyon supposes the Boss could do worse.” 

“Don’t ruin this for her you 5.” Shinji scolded from behind them causing all to slightly jump. “She’s trying her best here even if not what most people expect.”

“Do you have an opinion of this Shinji-san?” Irina questioned.

“My opinion of this is that I would like to get grandchildren.”

“SHINJI-SAN??!!”

[magicxc]

What Will It Take

Pairings: Luke James x Black Reader

Word Count: 3235

Warnings: Fellatio, Cunnilingus, Reverse Cowgirl, Spanking, Hint of a Breeding Kink, Pain Kink if You Squint, Real Hard

BBJ Masterlist

“Warriors for the Dub,” I confidently yelled across the hall. 

Chuckling as I stride back into the office, coffee in hand, I’m mad excited for tonight's game. Right now it’s a toss up between the Warriors and the Cavaliers and my hating ass coworker is a diehard Lebron fan. I’m talking this man can do no wrong. And I’m all for Lebron don't get me wrong, I can respect the hustle, but that man cries way too much for my taste. Just get in there and play the fucking game without calling for fouls every quarter. 

The door slamming against the wall interrupts my thoughts and I look up to see just who has the motherfuckin audacity; my posture relaxing as soon as I eye Damon’s bitch ass stepping through the threshold.

“Ayo for real that boy Curry is done for,” he boomed. “So you might as well just run me my money right now.” 

“Just because your rent is due doesn't mean you get to walk around here harassing people; budget better bitch.” 

“Ain’t nobody short on money Luke it- matter of fact, lets double up on it.”

“You really wanna go double or nothing?” I questioned. 

“That’s what I just said, don’t bitch out on me now.”

“Damon ain’t nobody worried about a few dollars,” I countered. “That’s chump change.”

Damon is what I’d like to call a competitive wagerer. That man will quadruple up on a losing bet even if all he has to give for it is the pants around his ass. Just constantly tripling up on a stake in hopes that the next one guarantees him a pocketful of money. How he still walks around here with two fully functioning knee caps is beyond me. 

“Ain’t y’all niggas spose to be working?” comes a voice chiming in from the door. 

“Yes sir, I’m just finalizing some of these last minute reports before I hand them over to Luke for the Swiss fiscal account.”

“That’s real cute Damon, but I heard you motherfuckers all the way from the bathroom.”

“Well what you riding a nigga for then?” Damon groaned. 

“My bad boss,” I conceded. “But by the end of the day all the statements will have been completed.”

“If y’all two sons of bitches gone be gambling in my establishment, at least have the decency to do it quietly,” he barked. “And while we’re at it, Luke, I need you to stay behind tonight to get a head start on the Cayman Island accounts.”

“My man, any other night and I got you, but tonight is the finals and I already have everything all set up.” 

“Luke, if I don’t see at least some headway on those reports by tomorrow, don’t even bother coming in.”

“Sheesh, so much for a work environment that feels like family.” 

“Damon shut yo ass up and clock out while you at it,” he ordered, stomping out the room; Damon angrily puffing behind him.

“Fuuuck,” I muttered. 

Five days worth of planning down the damn drain. I’m talking surround sound installed and ready to go. Acoustic panel strips glued to the door of my mancave for the perfect noise cancellation, effectively soundproofing it. And wings from my favorite spot preordered and ready to deliver for the exact time I pulled into the driveway. Deadass, the only thing I had left to do was take a quick shower once I got inside. And with how long it takes me to get home once I got off, I would’ve been out the tub just in time for player introductions.

Now my boss wants me to sort through this pile of shit tonight? It’s gonna take me at least an hour to make even an ounce of progress trying to unscramble these makeshift ass policy reports. Truth be told, he’s only doing this cause he thought his underdog ass team was gonna come through and make their way to the finals. Well jokes on him cause the Celtics haven’t been relevant since Rondo was on that bitch. I mean he’s a cool boss when he’s ready, but I need to square up with him at least once outside of work hours. Nothing too hectic, just long enough to let out some frustrations. 

|~~

Tonight's game starts at 7:00, meanwhile I just barely wrapped up everything for the Swiss fiscal accounts; my impatience growing as I eye the current time of 6:30. Vigorously rubbing my temples, I let out a sigh of annoyance as it dawns on me that I may very well spend the first half of the game in this office - all my weeks worth of preparation wasted. 

Sending a quick text to my wife that I’ll be working overtime, I set up the game on my phone and give myself until the end of the first quarter before I call it a night; opting to stream it for some background noise. 

|~~

Halfway into the second quarter, I’m just shy three pages into the Cayman Island files, stopping every so often to watch Draymond run a foul. Honestly I couldn’t tell what’s going on with that paperwork, but I’ll be damned if I sit here and find out. The very least I can do is finish up these last two quarters in the comfort of my home. Boss said I had to make some headway not finish it, I thought to myself as I packed up to leave.  

“Boy aint no fucking way,” I screamed to no one in particular, hands slamming against the steering wheel; those orange striped cones tall and unwavering as they barricade the street, mocking me. 

Ten minutes into my drive home and my usual route, of all times, is blocked off. Now I gotta take the residential area which is chocked full of stop signs and speed limit ass followers. The third quarter is just beginning and the fleeting thought crosses my mind about finishing the game at the nearest bar; dismissing the idea soon after, my heart intent on salvaging whatever is left of this night.  

“Agghhhh”

Five minutes away from my house, the sportscaster announces the end of the third quarter with the Warriors at 88 and The Cavaliers at 73. They cut for a short commercial break and I floor it the rest of the way home, fingernails digging painfully into my palms. 

Bursting through the front door, I fling my jacket on the back of the couch. My tie follows shortly after, softly slithering onto the floor. Feet noisily slipping out of each shoe, it’s become a messy clothing trail left behind; a chaotic version of footprints left in the sand, and although my steps can be retraced, it’s far from picturesque. 

Mancave be damned I think, making a beeline for the front room which to my surprise is already playing tonight’s game. I plop into the seats, confusion etching onto my features as I get the strangest case of deja vu. 

“I swear I’ve seen this before,” I whisper. 

Sitting up further, ass dangling off the edge of the seat, this game is starting to look a little more familiar than I’d like. And it isn’t until I peep the infamous two player scuffle that I realise it's an old game, head hanging in irritation as I pinch the bridge of my nose to calm my nerves. 

A quiet, but unmistakable giggle sounds from behind me and I turn around to eye none other than the culprit herself, bursting into hysterics like shit is funny. 

I go and make my way to the basement to try the game down there, but I just about tore that place up looking for the remote. Stomping up the stairs, I try our bedroom as a last resort to see the actual game playing; only it's muted. Eyeing the remote, relief washes over me and I quickly snatch it off the dresser trying to press the buttons as I aim it at the tv every which way, to no avail. 

Muffled laughter in the background has me turning over the remote to see that the batteries are missing. Tongue poking against my cheek, I try to weigh my options of giving into her shenanigans or just watching the game on my phone like I did earlier tonight; not that I think she’ll let me. 

We’re currently in the fourth quarter with 10 minutes left on the clock and everyone still has all their timeouts so I can realistically catch another 25 minutes of game time. Again, I doubt I'll get a chance to watch any of that, at home that is. 

And I peep exactly what’s happening too, she ain't slick. Knowing how important this game is, she chooses to pull these childish ass stunts to get a rise outta me cause apparently I get “erotically aggressive” when I’m frustrated, or in this case, competitive. 

Albeit, I think it’s mostly stemming from boredom. Something about taking matters into her own hands cause she's been feeling overlooked lately. But I’ve promised her more quality time between us as soon as I wrapped up the Swiss fiscal accounts. That project has taken more time away from us than I’d like, but it was crucial that I made the deadline. Shit, the bonus coming my way has already been spent if I’m being honest. I even made plans to take a few days off from work in preparation for a surprise getaway to show her how sorry I really am. Then she goes and pulls this fuckery. This right here is why she can’t have nice things. 

“Y/N, please don’t do this, at least not tonight,” I warned. 

Stepping into the room, batteries in hand, she twirls them through her fingers taunting me with each swipe, pondering exactly what I’d do for the batteries in question. 

“Imma count to 3.”

“ONE!” she so boldly started for me. 

Head cocked to the side, I have to forcibly tuck my lips between my teeth to hide the impressed grin that threatens to show. Meanwhile her eyes are narrowed into slits just daring me to make the first move; and I’ll be damned if I don't. 

“Three,” I barked. 

Stalking towards her, I scoop Y/N up and over my shoulder to which she purposely tosses the batteries throughout the room. I land a handful of smacks to her ass, clenched fists beating on my back in return. Slamming her onto the bed, I crawl between those pretty, brown thighs and wrap my hand around her neck. 

“You wanted my attention so badly mamas, now show me why you should keep it.”

A dry, gagging sounds from the back of her throat, but I don’t have time for nonsense tonight. Releasing her neck I send a quick love tap to Y/N’s cheek, instructing her to tell me what’s next. 

Pushing me to the side, Y/N quickly switches positions as she straddles me, grinding her clothed pussy into my dick while she catches her breath. 

Swallowing a groan, I send a sharp smack to her thighs and demanded a speed up in pace, lowkey hoping to have a quickie so I can get back to the game. 

Scrambling, she reaches for her shirt and throws it over her head, my favorite laced bra flying not too far behind. My dick twitches as the sight before me, pathetically rubbing against the friction of my pants while she plays with her nipples until they harden underneath the touch. Moans tumble from those luscious lips as she begins to circle her hips over mine once more, rubbing her core deliberately into the growing tent of my pants. 

Raising up ever so slightly, Y/N’s underwear follows suit and she so boldly crawls over to my face, easing on down until her lower lips align with mine. Hands cradled around her plump ass cheeks, I pulled her closer and got to work, munching on the pussy like it was my last meal. 

Tongue swirling through her slippery folds, I slide it further toward the glistening center, flattening it as I apply some much needed pressure. Hips thrashing away, I clamp down on her thighs until she has nowhere to run, intent on letting her feel every ridge of my tongue as it slithers toward the throbbing of her hooded clit. 

We build a nice rhythm, the buckling of her hips a clear indication. Head thrown back, her hand tightly grips the headboard as the other sinks into my hair, roughly pulling on my coils while she whimpers into the quiet night. Body quivering above mine, I begin sucking on her clit without relent and it doesn’t take long until Y/N stiffens, a mouth full of her sweet essence the end result of a wave well rode. 

Shallow panting turns into quiet breathing and usually after an orgasm, she tends to doze off, but I'll be damned if she gets a good night's rest after tonight's mischief. Shuffling on the bed, my clothes land next to hers in the corner of the room, my dick now at full attention.

Sliding my hands up to her waist, I hurl her onto the mattress below. Back to the sheets and legs spread eagle, I instruct her to finish what she started. Deciding to crawl on top of me, I stopped her mid-climb emphasizing, “aht aht aht, turn around and give me sumn good to watch.” 

Tongue seductively gliding over her bottom lip, Y/N sends a knowing smirk my way as she readies herself to ride me reverse cowgirl. Hands wrapped around my dick, she gives it a few strokes, pussy teasingly hovering over where I need it most. A thunderous smack to her thighs gets the message going, her shrill shrieking turning me on a little more than I expected. Hips finally lowering onto my shaft, I let out a breathy moan, fingers sinking into her soft skin, all but ready to slam her all the way down. 

“Mhnmmm, stop playing and put that pussy on this dick mamas,” I groaned. “C’mon and soak it real good for me.”

Knees connected to the sheets, one hand cradles my thigh for support while the other guides just the tip along her sopping lips. Now moist with her slick, Y/N raises up entirely and continues to jerk me, head diving down south to swallow my nuts whole.

“Aghhh shit, where the fuck you learn th-”

Pressure on my sac and hands swiftly stroking my length has me turning pussy real quick, encouraging her to keep going, my earlier outburst quickly forgotten. It may not be the sensation I was going for, but it for damn feels good as hell. Fingers digging into her flesh, they envelop those thick thighs, opting instead to knead them soothingly, sensually - her warm skin almost as sizzling as my desire, our low grunts bouncing against the still walls.

“You missed me real bad huh? Show me just how much.”

Tongue sliding against my balls, I feel every ridged texture coupled with the strokes she refuses to slow down on, it makes for a mind blowing sensation. Eyes rolling back, I almost miss the way her pussy slowly drips on my belly. 

Removing my hand, I slide a thumb inside, sending slow, languid thrusts. After a few minutes, I inch my thumb closer to her clit, rubbing that mother fucker in steady motions of figure eights. Mouth hung open and hand movements sluggish, we stayed like that for a moment; slowly milking each other to the brink of pleasure.

Releasing my member Y/N sits up, my thumb falling to my side. Hands now resting on my thighs as she makes eye contact over her shoulder while slowly sliding down my shaft.

“This feel good baby?” she faux’s innocence. This woman is gonna be the end of me. 

“Mhmm, squeeze me how you know I like it.” 

That kegal shit she does makes my eyes cross over. The way her warm walls hug my dick in all its spongy goodness, mhnnmm fuck I could stay like this forever. 

Grabbing a handful of each ass cheek, I help guide her on a rhythm that makes us both feel good, one where she actually makes use of her ankles instead of scooting on my dick like she’s trying to push in a chair. It's a position where I know she won't last long but also one where she experiences the best orgasms. Apparently from this position my dick rubs along her clit in all the right places and I ain’t mad at a two for one special. 

Sitting forward, weight pressed on her forearms, Y/N garners better control and starts to bounce on me in earnest. 

“Unhh, just like that keep going,” I grunt.  

“Tell me you love me,” she screams. 

“I love you.”

Raising my hips to meet hers, I grab a hold of her waist and drive into that pussy full force, the headboard viciously knocking into the wall behind us.

“Say it again Luke!”

“I love you,” I croak. 

“Tell me what you want baby,” she coos. 

Coming up off her forearms, Y/N slowly sits up and gets into a squatting position, hands nestled on her kneecaps as she readies herself to drain me dry. 

Intensely rocking her hips, the steady sound of skin slapping against skin fades into the background as my heartbeat loudly pounds in my ears, toes tightly curled while my hips continue to meet hers thrust for thrust. 

“mamas *thrust* I’m so *thrust* sorry,” I growl. 

“Aghhh say it again.”

“Sorry, sorry, sorry,” is the tantrum that spills from my lips, shouting as I hit my peak. Fingers damn near embedded into her skin while I empty my load inside her fertile walls. 

Y/N comes shortly after, her juices splashing around us. Falling on top of me, her back to my chest, I wrap my arms around her as we lay there in our post orgasmic bliss, heavy breathing coming to a slow stop.

“Mamas, I am so sorry that you’ve felt the need to resort to this as a result of my neglect,” I apologized. 

“Luke, I just wanted you present is all, I feel like we were starting to drift and I got scared.” 

“No, no, no if ONLY you knew what I had in store for you; but I’ll do my best to at least check in when work seems never ending,” I assured her. 

Holding up her pinky, I lock mine with hers to which we share a kiss to our thumbs and then to each other. Promising a better act of communication between us, I wrap her in my arms and assault her face with slobbery kisses, encouraging her to never pull this shit again and to get a full night's rest as she’ll need her energy for the morning.  

The game is still playing mute in the background and from what I can see they just wrapped up, GSW blowing a perfectly good 15 point lead. 

“Well I’ll be damned. Damon really did win the bet, and double at that.”

A vibration from my phone has me already knowing who’s on the other line but I don’t have time for that man’s antics tonight. I can wait a few more hours before I have to sit up and listen to non stop gloating.

[superstringtheory]

Sicktember 2023- "talentless", OFMD Ed/Stede

Sicktember 2023- prompt #7 “you’re a jerk when you’re sick” 

Ed’s not good at being sick. 

He’s not good at any of this, really, but for some reason a bunch of people decided that his flag was scary or whatever and at this point will pretty much fall all over themselves giving him all of their shit. 

Well, and of course there’s Izzy, who’s still mad at him, but who’d kill half the people in the Caribbean in the name of Blackbeard if Ed asked him to. 

Izzy, who’d recently come back from a covert little operation all congested and wet leather, hoarse voice even rougher than usual. 

Izzy’s fault, then, for sharing more than just intel. 

Ed sniffles, and then stops midway through wiping his nose on his sleeve when Stede comes into the bedroom from the auxiliary closet, looking radiant and healthful in a lavender coat. 

“Sweetheart,” Stede says. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you look like shit.” 

Ed gives him the most nonplussed look. 

“And hearing that makes me feel even better,” he says, and clears his throat. 

“Do you want anything?” Stede asks. 

“Nope,” Ed says, popping the ‘p.’ “I can take care of myself. Did just fine before you got here, and I seem to recall that when you got here, you were the one needed caretaking.” He clears his throat again, looking away when Stede shoots him a knowing look. 

“Well,” Ed says, standing from where he’d been sitting on the edge of the bed. “Time to go check on the crew.” 

“Isn’t it storming?” Stede asks. 

“All the better reason to check on them.” 

“There’s no way you’d want to stay down here? I’m sure they’re doing fine.” 

“It’s mostly your crew, Stede,” Ed says in a patronizing tone, which is only ruined a little bit by sniffling. “They’re better at arts and crafts than sailing.” 

“Fine,” Stede says. “Enjoy your pneumonia.” 

Stede does regret saying that, later. 

*** 

Ed’s not good at being sick. 

It’s drippy and it’s achy and he can’t find the words for how to make it better. Everything he says comes out of his mouth harsh, barbed, a stick sharpened at both ends. Stede had been right; it is storming, but even so he’d appeared on deck about twenty minutes after Ed, seemingly not concerned about getting his new lavender outfit wet. 

“How’s it going up here?” Stede says in a bright tone, and Ed can almost hear the eye-roll that Jim gives. Ed feels about the same, except worse because there’s something with claws in his throat. 

“Boss’s all wet,” Izzy growls, and Stede lifts a blonde eyebrow. It’s incredibly stupid how good his hair looks when it’s rain-dampened, curling more at the edges, haloing his face. 

Ed sniffs, trying to surreptitiously wipe his nose. 

“Gotta go check on something belowdeck,” he manages, after Stede looks like he’s going to step forward and shove a handkerchief into Ed’s face or something equally embarrassing. Ed doesn’t wait or attempt any further explanation- by the time he’s down the stairs, he has to stop and lean back against the wall for a moment. 

Izzy’d been right- he is all wet, and he feels chilled to the bone, still achy and out-of-sorts. Ed coughs, then swears as he hears the distinctive sound of Stede’s heeled shoes coming down the stairs. 

“Sweetheart?” Stede’s voice calls, and Ed forces himself to straighten up. “Are you sure you didn’t want to head back to our quarters?” 

He actually does have a handkerchief in his hand now, and he’s moving towards Ed with it with that little creased forehead look he gets whenever Ed tells what he’d thought was a funny story about being an adolescent on Hornigold’s ship that actually sounds pretty fucked up once he hears it again. 

“M’fine,” Ed says, hating the way his voice goes all raspy. “Just gonna check on our stores.” 

Stede’s gently taking him by the elbow now, still with that concerned expression. 

“That’s not your job, love, I’m sure it’s all taken care of.” 

Ed twists away, out of Stede’s grasp. 

“Everything on this ship is my job. I’m the captain, aren’t I?” 

Maybe that would’ve come out better if he hadn’t had to cough afterwards, but he’s sure that Stede gets the point. 

Ed glares at Stede for a long moment, and then Stede takes a step back. 

“Noted,” he says, and even though Ed had pushed him away, now that Stede’s leaving, Stede is all Ed wants. 

*** 

There isn’t really anything to do in the store room, but Ed spends too much time in there anyway, feeling worse and worse. He can’t seem to get warm, and his throat feels like it’s on fire, and not the fun kind of fire like when he and Stede had set that ship of rich idiots ablaze. 

He falls into a kind of doze, too stubborn to simply creep back to the cabin and crawl under the covers. Stede probably hates him now. 

Just thinking of Stede brings a kind of visual miasma of him, a hazy version of his lavender coat. And an auditory hallucination, too- the sound of Stede’s heeled shoes, stepping even closer. And– oh, it’s actually Stede. 

Ed wants to apologize, wants to tell Stede that he hadn’t meant it, that he’s just sick and miserable and his throat hurts and his head hurts and– 

All that comes out is a small whining sound, raspy and painful. 

“Oh, sweetheart.” Stede’s voice is soft and warm. His eyes are gentle, and suddenly Stede’s bent over and Ed’s burrowing himself into Stede’s neck, stifling a cough into Stede’s chest.

Ed starts to say something but has to keep coughing, and Stede just tsks at him and presses his lovely cool hand against Ed’s neck. 

“Let’s get you back into bed, hmm?” Stede’s saying, and then he’s pulling Ed up to a stand, supporting him as they make their way back to the cabin. “Get you in bed and get you cooled down.” 

Stede’s strong arm around his waist, his hand on Ed’s forehead, the crinkle of concern in Stede’s gaze- it all speaks to what’s coming next: the tepid bath, the cold cloths for Ed’s head, the tinctures of honey and rum. Throughout it all, Stede there by his side, murmuring and fussing. 

Ed’s still not good at being sick, but Stede is wonderful at taking care of him.