#fuck having to recharge things
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Windows audio fucking sucks, for a number of years I had to roll back every single Windows 10 update because the update would break my motherboard audio drivers without fail (it was an LGA 1151 Z170 ASUS Maximus VIII board, top of the line when I bought it). BIOS updates didn't fix the issue, reinstalling the realtek audio drivers didn't fix it either, it took two and a half years for a Windows update to come along that didn't result in silence. And god help you if you're trying to do any realtime audio mixing, recording or modelling in Windows, the latency just makes it unviable. The difference in audio latency in amplifier modelling between my old 2013 15" MacBookPro and a Windows PC built in 2022 using the same programs with the same audio hardware was 20ms in the Mac's favour, plus the Mac didn't need to stop all other audio, which meant you could play along to a click track or song. The only thing worse than Windows audio drivers are Linux audio drivers. There's a reason why musicians generally own or use Macs and why you'll see an old Mac Pro or Powermac G5 or an iMac in recording studios.
#this is one of the reasons that “how to buy a laptop” post that makes the rounds which says “don't buy a mac” pisses me off#in a lot of creative fields you really do need a mac to work at a semi-professional/professional level#also bluetooth sucks for everything#you'll pry my wired headphones and peripherals from my cold dead hands#fuck having to recharge things#double fuck having to buy batteries
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saw a starfish on the beach today & was absolutely ENAMOURED - literally 3 of us were just squatting over this tide pool watching him move
#stream#omg i just remembered i was the last 1 to change / shower & i had just walked back from the cold ass shower thing to rinse off the salt &#punya came over & he was like ‘brother …’ & i was like what ? & he went 😏🫴#& i asked what do u want me to give u ?? ‘a cigarette u motherfucker’ ‘u know what i would love 1 TOO bitch but GUESS who smoked them ALL b#it WASNT ME !!!’ 😭😭😭😭 AKSJAKSKAKSKKSKSKAKSLSKSL#& NOW I DONT EVEN HAVE A VAPE BC OF THE FREAK BRIT THAT JUST WALKED OFF W IT#i’m still not upset abt it i’m more so just bewildered ? just shocked ? like i didn’t even care to try to get it back i was just like ok ?#i’m still shocked by it bc it’s just so#COMICAL ? LIKE ??? 😭😭😭😭 did neither of us speak english like 2 entirely different messages weren’t sent#LIKE ITS NOT A DISPOSABLE THIS IS A RECHARGABLE REFILLABLE VAPE#it was just 20£ & getting 2 disposables are also 20£ from the off license & i used literally like 80 ? 100ml ? in it ? so saved money#regardless but i did buy a pack of pods but 1 of the 3 that i used didn’t end up working & that was the third on it excluding the original#battery & those are 10£/pack so 30£ overall for what would equivalently be like idk probably around 10 of those 5k off license vapes which#would yea be 120quid so including the price of the vials themselves it’s 3-for-10£ used 5#so that’s 50£ bs 120£ even w the cost of a new device say + 30 that’s still only 3/4 of the price of what it would be using dispos which ar#cheaper than cigarettes REGARLESS#even the 30/120 that’s still u know literally a quarter of the cost it’s just a bigger upfront cost but it’s significantly cheaper long ter#STILL SAVING MONEY …. i say as if addiction isn’t inherently a waste of money but u see to that argument i budget it like food bc that’s ho#addiction works it’s just going to continue & ur going to include it in the budget as if it’s a PHYSICAL NECESSITY TO LIVE#to be fair sometimes it is lol like bro i couldn’t stop drinking w/o being in a hospital bc alcohol withdrawls can literally kill u#like my blood pressure was over 180 at 1 point when i was detoxing in hospital 😭😭😭😭😭#SCREAM#anyway#forget that#happy new year 2024.5 😍😍😍#my new year starts now fuck u the first half was just warm up#could i stop smoking if i wanted to ? yes ! will i ? absolutely fucking not !#IM ALLOWED THIS AS A TREAT#THAT I INHALE LIKE OXYGEN: CONSTANTLY
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guiiwgghauaiauagguaiaghjjghjjjhhhh
this didn’t fit in the hashtags but donr rb or comment I’m just screaming to myself atm I’ll probably delete this shit tomorrow goodnigjt fuck everything live vs kill
#vent because I’m going fucking insane#so I got a weekend job right#Yay! So fun! money!#but now I have absolutely no fucking free time#and I hate it cause all I want to do is draw#I just want to draw#Just a little bit#All I want in life is to draw#but I don’t have the time#and I feel like im going to die on the floor#cause I wanna draw so badly!!!!!!!#like it’s actually such a pain and I feel so overwhelmed and I just want to cry like a big baby about it#I would draw more but the thing is it takes me so long to get home from school#and I have to walk a dog after school sometimes#and then I don’t have a lot of time before I eat dinner#then I do my chores which isn’t a lot but I still don’t want to do them#and it just#UGH#I can’t draw inbetween like getting home and supper because I need time to recharge cause if I don’t recharge I’ll get artblocm and then#not want to draw at all which I don’t want#So I don’t get time to draw cause im either occupied with something or im recharging after doing an activity#and I just feel so stuck!!!! Cause now I work a 9-5 and I hate it cause im so tired after work!!!!!!!!!!!!#I also think im just scared cause im actually growing up now and im feeling more exhausted than ever#like I want to do stuff with my friends#I wanna have fun#I want to do things#this is why I love summer because despite the heat and the bugs I have time to myself#I rarely have time to myself if any when im in school#and I HATE ITTTTT#I HATE IT SO FUCKING MUCH
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;~; (tags vent)
#i feel so lonely and i dont know how to fix it#im trying to engage with people. im trying ot take space. im trying but nothing is helping#and like im hormonal so i wanna cry about it today#and like this loneliness isnt for one reason only#there's no One Thing#but so so many things making me feel like i cant connect#and even wiht making progress and even with coping and even with reminidng myself its okay to just feel bad sometimes like#i want company. i dont want online company i want irl company. i want friends. and im so miserable about the fact that i struggle to#make irl friends - not bc im not a good friend!! honestly tehre's been plenty of opportunities for me to make friends is the worst part#between work; disabilities; energy; and like interests/things to talk about its really hard to make friends (and tbh the first three-#really are the biggest drains). and i love my online friends i do i jsut. miss them all so much when i talk too much and then it hurts more#and i lost a friend group recently so im feelng really out of place#nearly everyday for the last idk. 5 months i had a group of people going “hey. love you” (even if they didnt say it verbatim daily) and lik#im so sad! and the feelings are coming out today ig cause i havenothing to do at work so im just. here#but yeah - ik part of this grief im experiencing is YET AGAIN experiencing change and loss re:friendships bc of things largely out of my#control /: and every time this happens it just brings up every single wound#im talking with my therapist about it too i just. wish friends were more permanent in my life yk?#or at least that i had friends irl still /: but all my deepest connections are all So far away#and it hurts so much to miss ppl rn im just. isolating myself#but i dont awnt to TALK. i dont want to TEXT. i dont want to hang out on a vc. i awnt to be held and loved and just talked to about anythin#other than the stresses in peoples lives. i want people to infodump to me w/o me having to Beg or Engage Correctly#i want people to tell me about themselves. jsut fucking lore dump in my inbox. its not dumping. i dont care about trauma dumping. if you do#cw i guess i jsut. im so tired. im tired of the “haiiiiii love you!!!!!” i have to do over the keyboard to have social connections#im tired of being so disabled i cant make friends bc no one wants to be friends w/ me irl and all the reasons (“ur a flake” “u cancel plans#“u never want to go out” “u never have energy” “why do you disappear when you need to recharge it makes me feel bad?” etc etc etc) all#relate to me being disabled and like.i feel like the problem. my existence is a problem. and the worst part is all iwant to do is just.#go run errands with someone. do important tasks &get a little treat to celebrate after. go to the doctor. the hospital. wherever im allowed#i want ot be a PERSON#): i jsut miss my friends#and liek im going to a thing later this month to try and make friends irl even if its just exercise friends
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I should just clean my room and take bath or something
#that would help me feel better im sure i think#and maybe eat but i dont want to eat rn#snack time#uhh but i hate all the snacks there are#even the snacks in this house arent for me wow#and she knows i hate them too lol#and then she gets mad when i say theres nothing and says well you shouldve got some!! WITH WHAT MONEY. BRO OH MY GOD SHE MAKES ME WANNA PULL#all my teeth out i cannotytttttt#and its not like we go out she uses that stupid app and then cries about it costing more on the fucking apo like yeah no duh#i like going out too so idk why she blames me for this kind of thing#ohhhh we never go outttt. well yeah. i have no money for transportation or food. tf u want me to do#i dont even have a map. you wont recharge my goddamn phone#then you cry about wishing there was a man in this house like ok. maybe you should just help me out a little most of this shit i could do#what is your problem!!! die. well this is all discounting the fact of my social anxiety and language problem but like. i can push through#you make me do that all the time anyway so#whatever#i dont know anymore this just pisses me off#i wish i could burn this whole house down#or blow up this entire country yeah
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//Lambda's the kind of guy that gets embarrassed by something that turns him on.
#//it's sunday and i'm struggling to sleep let me have this#//actually he'd get embarrassed about a lot of things he likes#//literally just 'oh ew something part of me? push it down because it's gross and i don't want to deal with working that out'#//'ESPECIALLY around other people. that's fucking weird omg'#recharging... {ooc}
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i want to play splat3 more if my beautiful mutuals want to play together my switch fc is 4349 7263 9019 .. i Will be team frye next splatfest btw. smiles
#u can add me for anything actually just to be friends. hi. i think th only other multiplayonline games i have on there r ssbu and sky cotl#actually ive been meaning to play smash more bc my college has a varisty esports team aha.... but im the worlds worst bayo + inkling main#bc i cant never remember how the fuck to recharge ink as inkling. ever. anyways splatoon#i need to play more im getting so rusty . salmon runs the only thing i have confidence in anymore
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me: disappears for a month and doesn’t write and barely comes on tumblr
me, the second the new term starts: welp time to procrastinate by going on tumblr and blurting out 1300 words when i’m supposed to be working
#why am i like this#i know why it's the adhd and the anxiety and the perfectionism and imposter syndrome#but like#why#it's also because i haven't written in a month and it tends to simmer and then bubble over whenever i take a break#writing has no balance for me#it's either taking over my life and fucking over my ability to work or else it's left ot the side for months at a time and just in my head#i just wish it would take over my life when i don't have quite so many important things that need my attention#(the lie is that i never feel like there aren't important things that need my attention except when i'm on vacation)#(i'll never end up writing unless there are other things going on in my life my brain just doesn't work that way)#(vacation is not a time to write it's a time to reflect and recharge)#(so yeah this is my lot in life and these tags are just me lamenting that reality)#phyn rambles in the tags#phyn vs. writing
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My day is ruined before it even fucking starts. My mum was meant to be in the office today but the car won't start so she's not. I had the whole day planned, a day without my mum's work stress permeating the whole house, I was going to wake up early, right as she left, and get started with my day. I was going to sing as I did the dishes, put on laundry, had a shower. I was going to sit on the floor of the spare room and fold my clothes and organise them while show tunes played loudly. I was going to be productive to a soundtrack.
But I can't do those things anymore, my one day this week where I had the freedom to not tone down, to drop my mask and just be, and it's fucking ruined.
And I can't blame anyone but the stupid universe, the car. But I'm fucking livid, and sad, and I just wanted my fucking day goddamn it. I need it
#katy liveblogs life 2023#im so fucking sad#i was already awake and everything#but now i cant get started with my day because its Not Normal for me to be awake at 8am#and my mum will comment#and in my FUCKING STUPID HEAD i cant leave my room if my mum is in the house.#and i definitely cant sing at the top of my lungs because my mum will get annoyed. or shell be on the phone#i cant. im so fucking disappointed. all i wanted was a day to myself completely and utterly alone.#im so fucking tired. i just wanted a day to recharge#at least i have therapy rhis evening. now i have something to talk about lol#this is an autism thing isnt it. the huge reaction im having to this change in my plans. this isnt neurotypical surely#on the brightside i know what this reaction is from so i dont feel as shitty as i could#god if my GP on monday dismisses me i will riot. i am so fucking autistic
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genuine question is having a flatmate ever a pleasant experience
#big rant in the tags#i love my flatmate as a friend we get on great (we were friends already) but my godddd i'm pulling my hair out rn#life was so peaceful when i lived alone i want that back so bad it was so chill i didn't have to worry about anything#genuinely why is it so hard for people to be clean. and take the fucking bins out. and just wipe the table after they get crumbs everywhere#and i get that my standards of cleanliness are very high im not expecting that i know it's not gonna be spotless all the time#but there should at least be some sort of attempt. i've not seen her get the hoover out or mop ONCE. and it's always me taking the fucking#genuinely her gf has cleaned up more than she has. but they generate so much mess together and never fucking clean it#came back saturday night after being at home for 2 1/2 weeks (she'd already been back for a week with her gf) and the bins were piled high#and the sink was just so gross with food and stains and gross shit idek and the floor clearly hadn't been hoovered since i did it before#i left to go home. and her and her gf have got so many little kinder toys and lego pieces out on the shelves in the living room so it looks#all messy and listen that'd be fine if she was the one dusting those shelves but it's always me having to wipe down the surfaces and it's#so annoying having to move everything each time. bear in mind she has the bigger room so she has space for all that stuff in there#and today i got home from uni went to grab a bowl and tbh at least her gf had unloaded the dishwasher but she'd put away a bowl that#clearly hadn't been washed properly by the dishwasher how do you see something like that and put that away in the cupboard#i probably sound insane rn but it's so fucking annoying to have to clean up after another person yet alone another person's gf#and before u say just talk to her 1) i have already when i first had to have a conversation with her about her gf coming to stay for 1 mont#that's a whole other issue and 2) i shouldn't have to constantly remind a grown adult to fuckin clean up after themselves in a shared space#thank fuck we have separate bathrooms because i would kms i fear#thing is in february and march im gonna be out of the city for one of my placements i'm already stressed enough about having to move#and i want to be able to come back at the weekend to recharge and see friends but im just scared that it'll be a mess whenever i do#idk man i just think it's disrespectful like this has been my home for over 3 years i care about this flat a lot and it pisses me off to#see shit that gets spilt on the floor not getting cleaned up.... okay enough i just got myself all worked up again#.txt
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Was going to do some oni file digging but got too distracted playing the actual video game. Anyways look at her <3
#rat rambles#oni posting#her icon does not do her justice she is so fucking cute#I fucking adore her#anyways ny thoughts on the new dlc are mostly positive so far although I do have some nitpicks#now to be clear to the fellow lore enjoyers in chat this is a fairly log light dlc unfortunately#which doesnt suprise me since god knows they don't like talking abt dupes too directly in the logs and this dlc is all abt the bionic dupes#which I see as a positive thing generally but I do wish there was a smidgen bit more to justify why they can be printed now#just an extra my log at the start that says woah I found some fancy robo guys in my printing database would have been nice#but other than that I do like the continuing tensions between gravitas and the vexus institute brewing#and I also like the pronoun confirmation on jackie's probably mom I'm glad we're seeing more of her#Im also glad theyve so far had jackie say jack shit abt her probably mom and her going ons I hope it mostly stays that way#I'm open to getting some of jackies words on the family drama but I want it to be shown not told#so like idk. maybe a conversation between them or smth. and keep it vague and up to interpretation#I like my jackie characterization hard to find and unpack#as for the actual gamplay stuff Im definitely enjoying the different playstyle of the bionic dupes a lot so far#I havent gotten far enough into my test run to rly know how they feel in long term colonies but they are quite fun so far#I like how they add some pretty strong early game benefits while also adding a pretty important early research racing#I also enjoy their oxygen tanks but I have noticed that they tend to chose weird and sometimes extremely inconvenient places to refill#I don't think I rly understand their logic for chosing spots yet but I thinkkkk they might be trying to chose somewhere away from general#living areas? I could be wrong though I have seen them recharge directly by cots before but maybe its based on the pod location idk#but yeah this is me screaming at ulti to stop recharging by a tiny spec of oxygen surrounded by slimelung infested polluted oxygen#so basically sending them out to germy or unbreathable environments is theoretically safe most of the time but it's not as safe as a suit#that combined with their adverse reactions to liquid and extreme temperatures does still leave need for athmosuits#which is a good thing to be clear#in theory this also means that oxygen masks can still be of use to a bionic dupe even if it isnt necessary#especially if theyre making large transit that risks them running out of oxygen and trying to refill inside an contaminated area#but yeah if I had one complaint abt the bionic dupes it would be that I wish there were a few more#I get not wanting to bloat the dupe count but you can and will see duplicates within the early game#there isn't a lot of variety with them which makes bionic dupe heavy colonies feel less appealing to me
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For the first time since those two months after the games release we're playing cotl again
#game hyperfixations have long recharging times#like we cant even look at the game for ages#it makes us physically nauseous#because of things like PLAYING NONSTOP FOR 18 HOURS STRAIGHT EVERY DAY FOR TWO WEEKS STRAIGHT#CAN WE STOP DOING THAT ALREADY#in theory we miss stardew. in practice no we do not. do not even BRING UP that game we already feel sick just talking about it#fucking 18 hour sessions daily for two weeks what the fuck man
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would any wealthy anonymous benefactors like to give me several hundred dollars for the express purpose of buying fancy vibrators.
#all the ones i have are SHIT the batteries die so fucking fast#but all the rechargeable ones that seem like my type are like 50+ dollars#I'm straight up getting carpal tunnel man#good thing i don't use the mouse with that hand or my computer days would be numbered
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i have 2 plans for sunday. protest at 2, friends' bday celebration the rest of the evening afterward. dad messaged asking what time tomorrow works for me for a family get together with food (while my aunt is in town). told him no, tomorrow doesn't work, and weren't we doing next weekend?
turns out we're doing both weekends.
spent minutes chanting to myself don't ask me to do this. if you ask me you don't know me. if you ask me you don't know me.
school starts monday and i am doing 2 other things tomorrow. doing 3 big things in a day will drain me. i'm an introvert. i don't enjoy family get togethers anyway. i don't need to see people every week and i don't want to.
he proposed to do a brunch and drop me off at the protest. he doesn't know me. what a surprise (sarcasm). don't know why i expected anything at all.
how to be present as an unsmiling shell of myself without triggering any sort of "are you ok?" responses/conversations. answer is i'll have to smile, but i'll get away with being my usual quiet self in a corner on my phone reading something or other. tired.
#txt#vent#exhausted#i feel like i officially cannot do the semester#maybe it'll be better when dad leaves for turkey at the end of the month#maybe#idk#just fucking exhausted#no one knows me no one will ever know me#sometimes i think things would've been better if i'd killed myself when i was 16 and still had the guts and despair to at least hurt myself#most of the time i think things would be better if i had never been born#just waiting to be employed#i've never looked for a job properly and the process terrifies me but we have to do it one way or another#then i can just Leave#i can Go#i can be Alone and miserable but it'll all be under my own power#i can retreat and recharge as much as i want
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cute funny looking child | max verstappen
pairing: max verstappen x actress!reader
summary; the one where yn becomes obsessed with a cute funny looking child she stumbled across on pinterest. only to find out that the “cute funny looking child” is now a full grown formula one driver.
liked by charles_leclerc, and 715,529 others!
yourusername: i found this cute funny looking child on pinterest, then started crying because he’s just so cute
view comments below!
user1: girl what
user2: there’s medical terms for people like you
user3: no i get it
user4: he's actually so cute
user5: these pictures look old...what if this child is grown now??
user6: imagine scrolling through instagram and you see someone calling you a "cute funny looking child"
user7: this is too funny
user8: am i the only one who knows thats max??
user9: NO I DO TOO!!!
user10: us and charles LMAO
user11: he liked this and said nothing 😭
user12: not his childhood photos, not his problem
user13: how are yn and charles friends but she doesnt know what max looked like as a child?
user14: she knows nothing about f1, she's only friends with charles and thats it 😭
user15: what medical condition do you have?
user16: but…why?
user17: you have issues
user18: i don’t think this reaction is normal…
user19: babe that’s max verstappen??? formula 1 driver??? rich GROWN millionaire???
user20: millionaire you say 😏
user23: i see you didnt take your meds today
yourusername: i’ll have you know that my medication ran out so HA
user24: you might wanna ask for more
user25: yeah because this? not normal!
liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, and 716,019 others!
maxverstappen1: recharging, done ✅
view comments below!
charles_lelcerc: what a cute funny looking child
maxverstappen1: ?
charles_leclerc: nothing…
user21: HE KNOWS
user22: it’s even funnier that charles 100% knows about the ‘cute funny looking child’ thing and just chose to not tell yn it’s max 😭
user23: yn will never live this down
user24: this is going to haunt yn for literally ever
user25: i PERSONALLY will never let her forget
user26: such a cute funny looking child
user27: max has got to be so confused rn
user28: is that a cute funny looking child i see???
user29: cute funny looking child max!!!!
user30: why is no one talking about how good max looks??
user31: i am. HE LOOKS GORGEOUS
danielricciadro: 😍😍
user32: you are handfeeding the shippers
user33: please, he IS the shipper
user34: cute funny looking child
user35: I AM SO CONFUSED BY THESE COMMENTS? WHAT IS GOING ON
user36: so basscialy
user37: what happened was
user38: many years ago
user39: it was a dark and gloomy night
. . .
. . .
liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc, and 619,916 others!
yourusername: this f1 thing is fun!
view comments below!
user40: you lucky son of a bitch!
charles_leclerc: can’t believe you went to a race for HIM 🤮 but not me…
yourusername: i didn’t go for HIM! i went because was invited!!!!
charles_leclerc: IVE INVITED YOU SO MANY TIMES AND YOU ALWAYS SAY NO
yourusername: LEAVE ME ALONE
user41: is ‘him’ MAX???
user42: it has to be
user43: YN AND MAX SHIPPERS ARE LIVING
maxverstappen1: you said you would post more baby pictures of me 😕
yourusername: you’re right in front of me? talk to me?
maxverstappen1: i want everyone to know that we’re on a date!
yourusername: we are?
user46: HUH
maxverstappen1: yes? i asked you on a date and you said yes?
user44: GIYS????
yourusername: i thought this was a friend thing…
user45: HWAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING
maxvertappen1: do all your friends buy you flowers when going out to eat?
user46: YOURE RIGHT IN FEONT OF RACHOTHRT??? STOP THIS?
yourusername: no…
maxverstappen1: exactly! now do you want dessert?
user47: i can’t…i’m sick to my stomach…i cannot
user48: what just happened
user49: i wish i knew
user50: okay so that just happened! now what?
. . .
here’s this before i disappear for a couple of weeks (maybe months?) i apologize but schools been keeping me busy AND i have books on wattpad that take up most of my time! im hopeful ill be able to post maybe once a month? nonetheless i hope you enjoyed this :)
#max verstappen social media au#max verstappen smau#max verstappen x y/n#max verstappen blurb#max verstappen fluff#max verstappen x you#max verstappen fic#max verstappen x reader#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 fic#f1 x y/n#f1 x female reader#f1 x you#f1 social media au#f1#f1 fluff
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idk im just so sad & miserable all the time & it really feels like i cant do anything about it. going outside wouldnt fix me. it wouldnt help bc all the problems are constant & At Home & wont go away anytime soon. i dont even get to keep any of the furniture ive held dear. bit by bit every piece of furniture ive had & cherished has been thrown away without my consent bc "my mother's house" so she gets to decide what we get rid of. im so fucking sad im always fucking sad & powerless. idk man.
#perth.txt#i miss my nightstand. i miss my desk. i miss my closet. i miss my shelves. i miss my bedframe. all i have left is a mattress#which is the ONE thing that would actually need replacing#she didnt even let me keep my great grandfather's favourite chair. i dont even have my curtains anymore.#i have a chair he built now but his favourite chair was thrown away so its gone now i guess. my great grandmother loved that one too.#promise ill stop posting abt my misery after this i just. im so unhappy i want it to change.#i wanna get on disability benefits so i can get out of here. but with my room being a mess i dont know where my transport card is#& i absolutely cannot walk anywhere. no doctor's office is within walking distance as far as i'm aware#the online service to recharge the transport card doesnt even fucking work for some reason so id have to go in person#or ask my mother. & uh. she isnt exactly willing to help out generally speaking.#she'll drive me places only if its already on her way to begin with. that type of stuff#ok ill. do something else now. maybe write. idk
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