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i love the phrase "sex pervert" like. as opposed to what? abstinence pervert?

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[exculis]

REMEMEBER IF HARD WATER IS CAUSING CALCIUM BUILDUP IN YOUR BONG, JUST LET SOME WHITE VINEGAR SIT IN THAT THING FOR A FEW MINUTES AND SHE'LL BE LOOKIN BRAND NEW. JUST DONT SMOKE WEED WOTH THE VINEGAR INSIDE PLEASE

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Got an iud recently and hoo boy they were not kidding about the cramps. I mean it's cleared up for now at least but I am NOT looking forward to my next period

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i'm the girl who makes up all the fake folk etymologies. it's fun and easy for me. nobody pays me, i just do it for the love of the game.

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if you start introducing nice things into your life it's a slippery slope and you have to be careful in case you start liking it when things are nice

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[exculis]

It turns out that you can become the person you’ve always envisioned but you’ll still have the person you were before inside of you and you have to treat them with as much forgiveness and love as possible

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This one time I ate so much salmon I could barely move, and then my mom was like oh have some blueberry pie for desert, and in that moment I understood what it is like to be a grizzly bear

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[exculis]

''i wasted those years'' who cares. you lived the only life you could've lived in those moments

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Got some apples. Fuck yes. I love being alive

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[exculis]

Game Show Host: Congratulations! You just won a lifetime supply of tangerines!!

Me: But you only gave me one tangerine…

Game Show Host, pulling out a gun: Yep!