Text
151K notes
·
View notes
Text
Sometimes it blows my mind that there are people that don’t wear glasses/contacts. Like they can literally see with no aid. Like they wake up and just be out here seeing. What a wild concept.
1M notes
·
View notes
Text
it's rotten work, but without the rot nothing can grow
121K notes
·
View notes
Text
This is Gilbert. He’s been around a while. Attributes his long life to many, many years of always getting what he wants
103K notes
·
View notes
Text
if house md were running in 2024 there would be an episode with a patient who identifies as an ‘online content creator’ (cagily) where house agrees to take the case primarily because when he offhandedly refers to her as an onlyfans model both cameron and cuddy get really offended and say it’s a sexist assumption so he doubles down and becomes committed to finding the patient’s onlyfans and proving it. at some point it would be revealed that chase actually is an onlyfans model and started doing it as a stopgap after his dad died and he suddenly got disinherited but he makes so much money off it that now medicine is basically just a hobby. cameron and foreman both disagree with the concept online sex work but it turns out they disagree for different reasons (cameron thinks it’s exploitative and not-feminist, foreman finds it distasteful and thinks people should get ‘real jobs’) and spend most of their scenes together arguing about this while chase gets continually more shifty. they break into the patient’s house and there’s a full ringlight and camera setup which seems to confirm house’s suspicions. while trying to find the patient’s onlyfans house accidentally finds chase’s onlyfans instead and considers publicly embarrassing him about it like he did with wilson’s sex tape but soon realises that most of the staff at the hospital are already subscribed to chase’s onlyfans so makes fun of him for that instead. it then transpires that the reason why the patient is so cagey about being a content creator is that she’s an ASMR artist and all the soap she’s been shaving on camera has irritated her lungs. cuddy is about to make house give her 20 extra hours of clinic duty as recompense but at last minute it’s revealed that the website the patient uses for some of her bonus commissions is, drumroll…onlyfans, because she’s been banned from patreon. how does house know this? wilson is subscribed to her because the soap videos sometimes soothe him to sleep. something by cigarettes after sex plays. roll end credits.
34K notes
·
View notes
Text
Prague School, circa 1580-1600. An exotic dog, the Mexican Xoloitzcuintli, from two angles, with an ornate collar and in an extensive landscape. Oil on canvas.
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
all Czechs know how to do is get drunk, complain about everything, quote Pelíšky and lie
355 notes
·
View notes
Text
LMAOOO his full name, and like even after they know his real name
13K notes
·
View notes
Text
LMAOOO his full name, and like even after they know his real name
13K notes
·
View notes
Text
Some guy in an avengers Tshirt I just met at a coffee shop: so who's your favorite superhero?
Me too exhausted to explain there's more than one Robin: Batman
Guy: oh! Did you watch the Joker movie? It was surprisingly good for a DC film haha
Me: yeah it was something
Guy: you know they really fucked up on Justice League, but I've got to say Wonder Woman was better than Captain Marvel. Like, we get it, "yay girl power." That's great but it was so over the top. It totally ostracized half of it's audience.
Me: wow really
Guy: yeah. You know, you seem pretty chill. Maybe we could hang out sometime and watch some decent superhero movies? You know, Marvel movies haha
Me: i never asked, who's your favorite hero?
Guy: Iron Man. Like Batman but richer and cooler haha
Me: you know, Batman's rule? No killing?
Guy: yeah?
Me: i have no such rule. Lindsey, I found another one. My usual, please
Lindsey, the barista: *hands me my sword*
Guy: wow that's a poor replica of the God Killer blade, it should have more- *beheaded*
Me: thank god that's over
Lindsey: yeah. Hey want to watch Birds of Prey with me sometime?
Me: oh? You mean like as... a date?
Her: well yeah... is that okay?
Me: of course it's okay! all this time, all these years, i never knew you felt that way
Her: i don't keep a replica of Wonder Woman's sword under the counter for just anyone
Me: i never thought about it that way
Her: *writes her number on the forehead of dead guy* text me ;)
77K notes
·
View notes
Text
Javicco Corrino: If only something could stop the wedding
Desmond Hart already heating up the grill:
136 notes
·
View notes
Text
127K notes
·
View notes
Text
Další rádoby prvorepublikový oděv s nějakým tím vzorem navíc.
Odkaz na předchozí příspěvek.
(🇬🇧 Another outfit inspired by the Czechoslovak 20's and 30's. Link to the previous post.)
84 notes
·
View notes
Text
můj oblíbený kousek, vtípeček, dalo by se říci, je říkat 'to by se mělo zakázat' o věcech jako bolest mých zad, kausální vztah psychických a fyzických problémů nebo důsledky nedostatku spánku, s indikací toho, že by tento zákaz měla vykonat vláda.
moje další talenty v oboru umění konverzace, obsahují reference na věci o kterých nikdo kolem mě neslyšel.
175 notes
·
View notes
Text
proč existujou turnaje v piškvorkách. kdo by chtěl reprezentovat svojí školu v tom, kdo umí nejlíp hrát něco jako jsou piškvorky? (já. zítra jdu na turnaj v piškvorkách)
jak se vůbec trénuje na piškvorky? udělal někdo kurz na to jak hrát piškvorky na profesionální úrovni?
ještě vtipnější je, že jsem na tý stejný soutěži byl i minulej rok. a dostal jsem se až do krajskýho kola. já vám povídám, že tentokrát to vyhraju. budu mít ten nejšílenější training arc všech dob.
195 notes
·
View notes