#fuck bhaal

[monsterlimbs]

Orin actually drives me insane. She's been on my mind so much recently, I ADORE her. She makes me so heartbroken.

She's so sad. She's literally just the annoying little sister always outshined by her older brother because their Father wants his precious boy to be his successor. She just wants to be acknowledged. She wants to be creative. She wants to be SEEN for her creativity. She gets mad when other people aren't creative and whimsy, and she gets mad when they don't see her for her own whimsy. She doesn't understand she'd never be good enough for Bhaal, and she doesn't understand why- after all, she's KILLING! She's killing so much, and she's doing it BEAUTIFULLY and SAVORING it! Who cares if Durge is killing faster, he doesn't even care for the kill! He's not turning it into an art form, why would HE be adored when SHE'S the one who cares for the craft?

She's also been indoctrinated and groomed since birth. She was born into the murder cult, told to look up to Sarevok and Bhaal and Durge, told that murder is divine- just not the way she does it for some reason. And the implications of the Ecstacy of Murder? By design, she was always meant to be seen

I think once, her and Durge were close, too. Especially when she talks about Durge's little lobotomy. When talking to her disguises, she often mentions the "betrayal". "Then you've already tasted sweet betrayal". She talks about how "Father will see us together again". When disguised as the matchmaker, she basically says "But one stands out amongst the others. You see her in your dreams." talking about herself. If you threaten her, she says "YES! Give me agony!", etc etc. Which all makes me think that they were at least close at one point. Maybe they even killed people together like how families go hunting together (and also, I love the idea of her ALWAYS trying to kill Durge as a way of bonding). There's the, uh, way of thinking that Sarevok was trying to groom them into being... together, based on a few things he says I think (and also the "Father will see us together again".....), but there's also the way of thinking about it as them being close in the siblingly way. Fucked up, indoctrinated siblings, but siblings nonetheless. Even though Durge is more so her uncle, she even refers to him as her sibling and everyone calls Orin Durge's sister. And at one point, at the least, Orin was betrayed by Durge, forgotten by him and replaced by the idea of doing better, being better. And not only that, but he was trying to LEAVE the cult. To do BETTER. I like the idea of Durge trying to be better because of Gortash, but I'm trying to be unbiased here so disregarding Durgetash stuff, he was still trying to leave the cult and stop the endless murder. Which meant, he was trying to leave HER in her mind. It's basically like being the least favorite child in a multi-child family and your big brother, who you're told to look up to, who shines so bright that you're permanently shrouded in your "guardians'" eyes, is UPSET that he's in the spotlight. Upset that HE'S loved. All while you're doing everything in your power to be in the spotlight, to be acknowledged, just ONCE. He's abandoning your family, the life you lead, and YOU, all because he's pissy he's being loved. And gods, he doesn't even deserve it, does he? But you do. You're being so good, he's too quick with his kills- does he even remember any of them? You're doing everything right, YOU'RE the one who should be adored. He's ungrateful. But you can MAKE him good again, and even better, you can put yourself in the spotlight. So she does and lobotomizes Durge and what not, and honestly? I think when Durge is shipped away, it's because she got bored of essentially having her brother's mindless living corpse around. It lacks the personality of Durge, it's so... boring.

Then he returns, and he's already in the spotlight again if he's taken on the Slayer form. And if he hasn't, you have and you're in the spotlight, yippee!!! WRONG. If he hasn't, you have, and it hurts to transform- it hurts so badly- and you're STILL not in the spotlight. Your brother is still being asked to step up again. His little icky Butler won't leave your home, keeps telling you it's your brother's home as if you didn't get rid of him.

Oh well. You'll duel in front of Bhaal and get his favor yet.

If Durge immediately goes into the duel, she dies knowing she was never enough. Or, she wins, and she's STILL. NOT. ENOUGH. But, she has the satisfaction of knowing she's bested Durge. But she doesn't really win, right? Because she's still in the cult. Still groomed. No one cares for her. Her brother is dead.

If Durge tries to keep from attacking and tells her "hey we're in a cult. you're literally a product of incest and you deserve better than that actually. You actually did me a favor by getting rid of my memories, and I'm a changed man. Also Sarevok has lied to you man" she's like "NO NO NO! ....fuck what if he has? what if they ALL have? you are different..... what if we can be better? what if-" and then Bhaal ruins it and possesses her again (after possessing her when she was SEVEN!!!!!!!!!! FUCKING HELL), and FORCES her to fight Durge. And she dies, not in her faculties. Or, she wins, but still not really, because why would Bhaal let her return to her mind, knowing she was so quick to leave? No, she's going to be his perfect little puppet now. No more Orin, right? Even if she wins.

Orin is just a sad little girl constantly bidding for attention, constantly being abandoned. No matter what, she doesn't get her happy ending. She never does.

I think she deserves a happy ending though. Like yes she's the abuser as much as the victim, just like Astarion, Gortash, etc etc. But honestly? If she was without the cult and allowed to just be poetic and creative as fuck? She would've THRIVED!!!!! She'd be the happiest, most creative girl ever.

[abyssal-hoonter]

"Orin, there are a few things I wish I had the nerve to tell you, eye to eye... I'm not worried about having to find you once you leave for vengeance, but the parting of our paths by mere steps untaken behind the corner. The most selfish part of me, and the gravest of my fear is not in you barging through Bhaalist's lair, but in the prospect of your relentless stride until you forget everything about me. If you deem your blade errant, I shall hide it in a corner away from your sight. If you perceive your conduct as wanting, I shall voice your heart in every encounter for you. If you lack a fair childhood, I shall weave for you a happy family. If you rue the impurity of your lineage, our offspring shall stand as proof of the contrary. And you then shall wear it as a badge of pride."

- Anri's diary, Line 411 -

The Redemption of Orin the Red

[panksage]

Emperor is the funniest guy.

[hellothisisangle]

Stage 2 • Stage 3

AU where Cae is the Bhaalist boss fight after Orin’s unsuccessful assasination

Notes

Cloak is iridescent, giving a sheen akin to black bird’s feathers

Golden gauntlets are related in design to Gortash’s- they would still be in a close relationship

If you killed Gortash before getting to Cae it’ll make this fight twice as difficult

Cae’s horns are longer here as they were able to grow out

He has a disposition that is calm and unworried, confident this will end like every match before

Playing around with song title- “Melody of the Murderborn”? (might edit later)

Some voice lines: “Sing for me a symphony of suffering.” “I will be your finest mistake.” “My father calls for your blood, so you shall bleed for him.”

The dominant brush used here (especially for the jewelry) is the Organic-Mountain Ash

[dragynkeep]

He was already worthy.

[felassanis]

With the way Gortash talks about Durge's Urges (lol) It feels like to me that the characterisation of Durge pre-tadpole being this wholly rabid, acting on impulses constantly, creature rings a little...innacurate.

Gortash is a control freak. This is typical of a Baneite of course (and being raised by Raphael) Having complete control is really important in Gortash's eyes as it's not only his means of garnering power but keeping himself safe. It's also something he clearly respects in Durge. Their ability to control their urges.

Compared to Orin, pre-tadpoled Durge seems to have their shit together. Even the way Durge seems to talk, feels a lot more...straightforward than Orin's language. She speaks like a bloody Malkavian (and I love it) whereas Durge in their codexes and dialogue, speak less in metaphors, less like a child too, even if they still do bear that eccentric tone.

I think this can also be related to the way Durge and Orin were raised. Orin was sired by an abusive, incestuous relationship wherein she was then abused. A delayed...adulthood is quite common in those scenarios. Meanwhile, Durge HAD parents. Adoptive parents of course that they killed if my memory of canon is right. So they had a much more stable upbringing relatively. Accounting for Durge's maturity.

And Gortash has to bind Orin's blade when she takes over as Bhaal's Chosen. Gortash doesn't ever see Orin as an equal, and compares her to a literal dog, because she is so impulsive whereas with Durge. It seems he never saw a need to bind them. They were equals and the levl of control they had over their urges impressed him.

I actually think Durge's inability to properly control themselves after the tadpole is Bhaal punishing them for letting Orin get the drop on them. For falling from glory. Sceleritas comes along to guide Durge to prove themselves to Bhaal..it just feels like a punishment.

Anyway, maybe this is all obvious idk. And I'm not telling anyone how they should write their Dark Urges. Or even say that I think Durge NEVER had an impulse or two go unregulated (something Sceleritas also says) because Bhaalspawn ARE violent. Just that pre-tadpoled Durge probably was far more in control than we give credit for. It also makes their cruelty during their time as leader of the Bhaalists extra evil because...they chose to. It's wasn't compulsed by Bhaal all the time

[kawareo]

Bhaalist Unholy Communion

This post has been living in my brain rent free and then it hit me in just the right headspace to turn into a vent thing and made me write poetry for the first time since eight grade anyway enjoy my ramblings under cut

because isn't it fucked up that Durge has no bodily autonomy? That he's nothing (using he/him because im looking at my Durge specifically) without Bhaal because not even his own body is his own but still a part of Bhaal?

And sure it is an honor to be Bhaal's Chosen, but is it really if you never got the chance to choose yourself? Strike, my Durge, was born a Bhaalspawn and grew up in the cult since he was eight. It's all he's ever known, he's worshiped for being a demi-god, he's powerful and on top, and in the end, literally everything he has is only because his Father lets him have it.

The Communion especially shows that, with Strike being still worshiped, but it hurts him, the Bhaalists rip his body apart, use it, consume it, and he needs to think of it as a blessing because how lucky is he, to be the soul that was loaned piece of a god to guard? He'd think of his own body like that.

And it hurts Bhaalists, too! It works both ways! His blood is poisonous and his flesh aches in their throats, but it's a blessing! God of Murder loves his son and his love hurts, and if you love him back, you must let yourself be hurt and know how lucky you are to be allowed to be hurt by Bhaal or his mortal flesh itself!

I'm just very into the whole 'no bodily autonomy' thing that we have going on with Durge, like his father not only can take control of his body via the Urge, but he has Sceleritas to guide him away from anything that could be not by Bhaal's books, Orin and Saverok to be a (although messed up as hell) family to him so he'll never look for another, and to some degree, Bhaal can control Durge's mind...

No wonder he'd run to Gortash in the end. The first one who sees more than a Bhaalspawn when he looks at Strike, more than Bhaal's scion, he sees a person and ngl it's totally Bhaal's fault that Strike ended up like that

[tavs-brainworm]

Got something NASTY cooking for my fellow sub!Ascended Astarion enjoyers, and I'm finally far enough into it that I feel comfy posting a preview. There's no telling when it'll be finished but I'm just frothing at the mouth to share it.

More under the cut (~750 words) for those of you who want to read about two deeply pathetic people having terrible sex. Enjoy.

** Quick note: There's nothing too crazy in this preview (just a little blood and orgasm denial), but keep in mind that the full version will come with a very long list of content warnings, including blurry consent and ptsd flashbacks. Unfortunately my Tav is a bad person and subsequently a bad dom. ** Btw Io rhymes with Leo **

Astarion squirms, pushing against her finger and the warm hand on his hip to communicate his frustration, but Io’s touch remains measured and pianissimo and not enough. Her humming ends in a melodic chuckle.

“I’m not neglecting you, am I, love?”

Astarion huffs and drawls sarcastically, “Oh, don’t mind me, darling. You said this would be your pleasure, remember?”

Another laugh and the finger withdraws from him completely. Astarion grinds his teeth to keep a whine from slipping out.

“And everything that is mine is firstly yours, is it not?” She leans over to pour more oil in her hands, rubbing them together to warm it. “I’m yours to command, always. If this isn’t to your liking then, by all means, turn me over and fuck me however it pleases you.”

Astarion’s teeth grind harder as Io gives the tip of his cock a chaste kiss, and her finger returns to its leisurely massaging of his hole. Her offer is… tempting. It was surely meant as a taunt. Astarion knows that Io would, in fact, be more than happy to play pillow princess for the rest of the night if that was what he wanted from her, and, often, it is.

But that’s not what he wants tonight. Astarion can admit to himself that he’s come to crave this kind of attention from her, and it’s been too long since the last time she offered this.

“You would try to trick me into doing all the work, wouldn’t you, you greedy little thing?”

Io grins toothily up at him, and Astarion thinks he might have told the little devil exactly what she wanted to hear. “Don’t you worry, love,” she says, finally, finally, pressing into him for real, and Astarion lets out a sigh of release. “I know what you need.”

Io pumps her finger in and out of him, slowly, not yet going for his spot. She wraps the fingers of her other hand around his cock, pumping him there, too.

Astarion sighs blissfully, sinking further into the sheets. Io’s touch is skilled and confident, but not like his. Fingers trained to draw sound from string, not bodies, and the working of her hands is rhythmic and deliberate, in and out, up and down. A second finger joins her first inside him, the two of them pumping a steady rhythm and just barely teasing the edge of his prostate, feather light pressure that makes Astarion’s breath come hard and his hands clench into fists around their silk sheets.

A bead of precum dribbles out of him and – Gods, he should’ve asked for this sooner, it’s not like Io has ever told him no – she swipes over it with her thumb, adding his slick to the oil before Astarion can think too hard about how worked up he is over so little.

“Beautiful, just beautiful,” she coos, moving up to kiss him on the mouth. The praise and the thick curtains of her hair fall around him like a pleasant haze, and Astarion wraps a hand gently around her throat to keep her close.

At last, Io drags her fingers hard over his spot and Astarion moans unabashedly into her mouth where she devours it, kissing him so hard that fangs gnash into flesh and they taste the mixing of their blood. Io whines, chasing the taste of him, and Astarion’s grip on her throat tightens in tandem with hers on his cock, and, for a moment, it seems things might be nearing their end mournfully soon as Astarion can’t help but to buck his hips up into her grasp and grind down on her fingers caressing the inside of him, over and over and over, his pleasure bubbling up from his throat and from his cock and it’s so good, Io is so, so perfect, so good for him, so-

The hand on his cock stops. Io clamps firmly around the base of him and withdraws her fingers. The moan halfway out of Astarion’s throat ends reedy and high-pitched as his hips buck against the cruel grasp, chasing a climax now hopelessly out of reach. Frustration keeps his grip tight around Io’s throat, but when Astarion opens his eyes, she looks no worse for wear. She stares at him hungrily, licking the blood smeared on her lips.

[boowish]

Orin the Flexible

yes, she is not wearing her head piece, sue me

[crownedinmarigolds]

I'm sure someone's done this but this has been in my head for the past week.

[daemon-in-my-head]

He hesitated, and I will never forget that he did.

My brain is absolutely fried. It's been 32° Celsius today. There's no coherent thought left, so I just played around with colours. Fuck backgrounds btw.

I wrote 5 words today. Then I collapsed in my chair. Yeah, I'm doing fineeee, summer is my vibeeeee, I'm absolutely not rotting awayyyyyyyy

[maegalkarven]

Also there're so many reasons why durge might want to deny Bhaal, aside from general "killing is bad, the god of murder is bad."

Orin betrayed them and it was somewhat from silent approval of Bhaal, so "god betrayed me first" kind of narrative. A desire to get revenge, on Orin AND on Bhaal.

A desire to live. Durge's fate, Durge's Destiny is to literally kill everyone and then themselves. What if they want to live? What if desire to live is stronger than desire to kill?

Alternatively, what if there's someone they don't want to kill? A single person for Durge to care about, a single person they would want to save instead of bloodying father's altar with their blood. A single connection like that is all what it would take.

A desire to break free. Durge can be completely okay with murders, loving murdering people even, reveling in violence. But they're their father's puppet and they could want to break free of it, to have their own will, to have only their voice in their head. To be a master of themselves with no one to kneel to.

The "I'm better than my father" kind of mindset. Durge is made of a flesh of a god, in a sense they ARE god. Bhaal was mortal once. Why would Durge listen to him when they can attempt to overthrow him, to become a new god?

Being compelled to other side. It's not unknown for gods to steal each other's followers/chosen ones. Look at Ketheric, look at Shadowheart. Myrkul is recently chosen-less after the Moonrise Towers. Bane would love to fuck with Bhaal like that. Shar is there. Good gods who would try to redeem Durge or use them against their own father are there. It would be a delightful power move from Selune to offer Durge assistance/ an alliance against Bhaal.

Idk, I just love how multidimensional the defiance of Bhaal can be. I have a lil army of Durges exactly because I can mold them into such different people

[frizzypom]

feeling emo for the murder siblings

(don’t tag as ship/proshippers dni)

[lackeyhenchman]

bhaalsfavoritediscoball.gif

[bloodurged]

I think the collective durgetash fandom is not being insane enough about redeemed urge killing enver. he managed to escape bhaal's favourite blade for years, the only living thing the dark urge has ever loved allowed to stay so, because of bane. because he is the clever, usefull chosen of bane, on whom their alliance depends. he is the urge's only bit of respite, of freedom. the only thing not cowering from their touch, but leaning into it like a lovesick pup. the chosen of bane, who was meant conquer the world so that the urge may slay it, safely from the closed fist of his black hand. and when all that is left is him, the urge and their lord father, he would gladly be sacrificed at their altar, the first act of blasphemy, and with the same blade, the last act of forgiveness, so that only bhaal remains. only death. the urge escapes their father, but the favoured lamb remains so. he will not change. he could, anyone could. but he is too stubborn, he who would use bane as a step to his success. the urge gains new freedom and loses old, in death, enver's body speaks at last with his master's voice. perhaps they will bring him back. though he will refuse to change, aren't they owed one last act of blasphemy?

[devotedlystrangewizard]

this is their dynamic. in my heart