#fuck I’m worried

[identitty-dickruption]

one of the worst things in the world is that feeling unloveable can (and will) make you act in ways that reinforces itself. I feel unloveable so I don’t respond to messages so people reach out less so I feel unloveable. one of the hardest things in the world is fighting back the brain demons long enough to break the cycle

[stuckinapril]

friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me

[bolasrojas]

WHALE WATCHIGN…..CLEAR AN OCEAN MONUMENT…YOU WANT THEM DEAD

[sb25p]

I caved and upgraded my IPhone 11 Pro. It’s been my favourite IPhone so far 😭 I’m not happy that they didn’t do the IPhone 14 in green. The space black is cool though. Let’s see how I feel when it gets here. Did anyone jump from an IPhone 11 to an IPhone 14? If so, was it a good improvement? I use my phone for work and everything so thought I might as well get something new.

I’m not normally this attached to my phone honestly. Normally, I couldn’t care less, barely ever upgrade and when I do, I couldn’t be happier to retire my old phone. Genuinely a bit worried I’m not going to like this new phone as much as my 11 Pro. Also, I got a Pro Max for the first time. Thought it better for my shitty eyesight. Let’s see.

[its-your-mind]

I’m sorry I need to talk about this for a second

This part right here. When Nirvana tries to use Thought Infection on Kim Dokja. And this ability that absolutely neutralized Yoo Joonghyuk, Min Jiwon, and Yoo Sangah…

just…

bounces right off.

and it’s set up like this big badass moment. Kim Dokja saves the day again. Kim Dokja can face down anyone. He’s more powerful than every other incarnation and constellation, no matter how much foreknowledge they have.

But honestly?

It kinda just makes me sad.

yjh is incapacitated by the Eternal Nightmare ability because of all the awful things he’s seen and experienced, yes.

But as we know from 1863, happy memories can be much more debilitating for him than sad ones. And while he’s only got 1-2’s memories right know, we know that 2 had some incredibly happy memories to pass on, memories that make the losses that much harder to take.

And Min Jiwon?

Of course she doesn’t actually want to visit a spa while her friends and troops are dying. But can you blame her for having some deep craving for comfort and relaxation right now?

But for Kim Dokja…

The Fourth Wall isn’t just protecting kdj from the negative effects of the skill. It’s not hiding his secret desires, or absorbing his emotions.

It is literally preventing him from experiencing the world around him as reality. Not just because it feels improbable or surreal, but because it is literally keeping him separate from the world around him. On a fundamental level, he does not believe he is truly present in this time and space.

This is derealization and dissociation on an unbelievably intense scale.

“If we’re just characters, why did you die for us so many times?”

Why wouldn’t he? He’s not here, not really. He’s just Reading this story, no matter how much sway he’s been having over what has happened. All of that is just his work as a Reader hoping to see the Epilogue of his favorite novel.

“It was a really great story, isn’t that right?”

Narratively satisfying. A twist ending. A fate that subverted expectations.

An Epilogue worth Reading. Not touching, not feeling, not joining, not creating. Just watching. From a distance away. From behind glass. Through the cracks in a wall.

After all, a story can’t exist without a writer, a protagonist, and a reader. Only two of them truly participate in creating the story. But when you’re the Reader, it’s always worth reading the story again. And again. And again. And again. And again ,

[blue-mood-blue]

I have been thinking about the blackening (as one does)…

…and it’s so interesting to me, the penalty Shen Qingqiu is faced with should he not decide to yeet his disciple into hell.

Account termination. Instant death. Sent directly home to his already-long-dead body, and that’s it for the villain of the piece who outright refuses his villainy. The protagonist needs a blackening for the story to continue, and Shen Qingqiu is going to provide it or get written out of the narrative. Either way, Luo Binghe is going to lose him. Either way, this is a turning point.

I wouldn’t claim that this is the intent of the penalty, but it fascinates me that the System has, potentially, backed the plotline into a corner - because Binghe still stands to be blackened even if Shen Qingqiu took the other choice.

Think about what that would look like, to him. He’s at the Immortal Alliance Conference, and everything is going wrong. He’s been outed as a demon, and not just a demon - the top tier of demon, as bad as it gets from the perspective of a righteous cultivator. His beloved teacher, the person who has been kindest to him and opened his home and heart to him, is standing there with his sword in hand, deciding what he’s going to do about what must look, to him, like a horrific betrayal. Binghe is apologizing. Binghe is begging for his life.

Shen Qingqiu hears him. Maybe it shows on his face, or in his voice, that he already knew; maybe there’s no hint at all, but Shen Qingqiu is suddenly talking quickly with an abrupt sense of urgency that Luo Binghe is having a hard time keeping up with. Telling him he’ll be wonderful - telling him he’s the best. Telling him the world will be his, with emotions cracking through that aloof mask that Binghe has never seen on Shizun’s face before, and it’s terrifying for reasons that Binghe cannot identify.

(He will, later. When he has time to think, he’ll realize it sounded like a goodbye.)

And then Shen Qingqiu is bleeding. And then Shen Qingqiu is on the ground. And then Shen Qingqiu is dead. There’s no countdown for Binghe - there’s no System, there’s no warning, there’s no answers.

Luo Binghe is a heavenly demon in the middle of a conference sabotaged by demons. Luo Binghe is alone. His fellow competing disciples are scattered, some dead or injured. The Peak Lord of Qing Jing Peak, the second in command of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect, maybe the only person he loved and who loved him back, is dead at his feet. No one will believe him if he says it isn’t his fault.

(He can’t believe it isn’t his fault.)

What choice does he have but to run? The last heavenly demon the cultivation world went up against has been sealed under a mountain for years, and one of the people responsible for that is probably looking for Shen Qingqiu already. They’ll be looking for him, too. There isn’t anywhere to hide; there isn’t any time to mourn.

There isn’t even enough time to ask why. Why again.

There is no closure waiting for him, because there is nothing to explain what happened. It just is.

It would be a different kind of blackening, certainly - less intense, probably, less of a warping, desperate thing. But how many times can one person have all the love and safety in their world torn out from under them before it starts to show? Before they just don’t allow things like love and safety to touch them, because that’s the better option?

Interesting to consider that, simply by offering the choices it did, the System rigged the story to guarantee that Luo Binghe would end up in hell (deliberate or not).

Interesting to consider that, even if Shen Qingqiu made what might have seemed like a kinder choice, there was every chance it wouldn’t have been.

[yayi-fuji]

“Rae, why does this coin look so unique compared to the other yen?”

“Oh! See how this one has a face instead of the number of value on it? It’s because this is American currency, this here is a quarter, worth 25 cents. They have George Washington’s portrait in them.”

“That- That’s George Washington!? The first president of the United States!?”

“Uh… yah? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing! I simply, uhm… envisioned him rather differently than… this.”

Based on Even in the Next One !!! This isn’t an actual scene inside the chapters, but it’s just so easy to imagine them with how lively they feel. Please go give it a read if you haven’t yet <3

To @jobrrr : AUUGHH I’M IN LOVE WITH YOUR FIC!!! It has been a few months since I last became this invested in one :’D It just feels SO real and there are so many thoughts in my head as a result; hopefully I overcome my shyness and drop a comment proper sometime soon. Thank you for your service.

ALSO @melpymoo ! HUGE thank you for reading this alongside me omfg this is crazy, never before has a hyperfix been revived this violently 😭 Ty for granting me the space to be totally normal about these 2, looking forward to the rest of your reactions ^^

[marshmallowcat666]

I’m currently hyperfixated rereading Ftfo and can barely do any drawing but I’m trying!!! ‘^’ Designs are easier to draw for some reason so might see only those for a bit T-T

anyways have my version of Lord Lunar’s Gemini! They get fun new outfits!!!

[lotus-pear]

MY BESTIE JUST PAID ME FORTY BUCKS TO DRAW SOUKOKU IN SHUAKE FITS OH MY GOD SCREAMINGSNDHHHHGGGG IM ABOUT TO CULTIVATE THE FINEST PIECE OF ART IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND JUST FOR HIM THIS MONEY WILL KEEP ME FED FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK GODBLESS I LOVE HUMANITY

[skillzissue]

THEY EEPYY <33333333

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[takeshitakyuuto]

Mokmok Sensei back at it again with another banger illustration

Original tweet

[smokbeast]

(UPDATED) COMMISSIONS ARE OPEN!

Hi hello hi! Commissions are open! if you are interested here is a google form below with all the info at hand about my commissions and workflow! If you have any questions my DMS are open to answer and talk it out, thank you so much, reblogs are extremely appreciated to spread the word as I would like this to be my main post for commissions from now on!

[valewritessss]

Can someone give me well written fluffy Percabeth fics I feel like I’ve read the majority of them already and I don’t want to open another tab to add on to the 107 tabs I have.

Edit: THANK YOU SO MUCH TO THOSE WHO GAVE ME RECS PEOPLE NEVER ACTUALLY ANSWER

[growmybelly]

I thought I could handle going to a buffet for lunch. I was sssooo wrong. I lost control and ate so much I had to leave work early. I feel like such a pig 🐷

[starsillys]

ouguherrf kinitoojr

Some self indulgent (slash p) some new and original human designs and WHAT possible new anthro (this is the word I assumew) jade design?!! (6th image) Idk r,,, just less wrist bands,,

Omg completely forgot to include umm,,, an alternative Kinito human design I thought of a teeny while ago with an additional experimental jade (I am going fucking insane I ccahnt go ourn’)

[youweremyversaillesatnight]

he’s done!!

crochet boggy the froggy keychain in honor of junior year today :)