#fuck I’m worried
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friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me
#It’s just so different#even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol#in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps#if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it#esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends#no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr#u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS#meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life#this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation#like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !!#& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers#who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them#and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends#it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me#I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc#like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this#so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works#p
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WHALE WATCHIGN…..CLEAR AN OCEAN MONUMENT…YOU WANT THEM DEAD
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I caved and upgraded my IPhone 11 Pro. It’s been my favourite IPhone so far 😭 I’m not happy that they didn’t do the IPhone 14 in green. The space black is cool though. Let’s see how I feel when it gets here. Did anyone jump from an IPhone 11 to an IPhone 14? If so, was it a good improvement? I use my phone for work and everything so thought I might as well get something new.
I’m not normally this attached to my phone honestly. Normally, I couldn’t care less, barely ever upgrade and when I do, I couldn’t be happier to retire my old phone. Genuinely a bit worried I’m not going to like this new phone as much as my 11 Pro. Also, I got a Pro Max for the first time. Thought it better for my shitty eyesight. Let’s see.
#phone upgrade#IPhone 11 pro#IPhone 14 pro max#also I actually looked at Samsung#I haven’t bothered thinking about Samsungs in years but they’re making some cool tech lately#Ugh#it’s annoying that I actually am attached to this fucking phone#I feel like a fucking loser saying that lmao#I’ve had it two-three years and it’s been epic#It’s green as well#my favourite colour#fuck I’m worried#did I just upgrade my phone to end up hating it who knows#also why did they change the edges#I love the rounded edges on my 11 pro#IPhone 14 reminds me of IPhone 4#actually tbf that’s quite nostalgic#IPhone 4 was my first ever iPhone#I remember being so proud I bought it when I first made money from my first job#lol Im getting sappy af#someone tell me to stfu
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some lilybarty rot <33!
#lily evans <3 problematic men#and you can not fight me on that be sooooo real rn#a girl with too much emotions and a boy who grew up in a house with none#hellooo??? hello?#lilybarty#<3333#lily evans#lily evans fanart#barty crouch jr#barty crouch jr fanart#also james and barty do end up fucking no worries xx#a hint of jily but i’m not gonna tag them#but what can i say#EVERYONE is obsessed with lily#(including me)
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I have been thinking about the blackening (as one does)…
…and it’s so interesting to me, the penalty Shen Qingqiu is faced with should he not decide to yeet his disciple into hell.
Account termination. Instant death. Sent directly home to his already-long-dead body, and that’s it for the villain of the piece who outright refuses his villainy. The protagonist needs a blackening for the story to continue, and Shen Qingqiu is going to provide it or get written out of the narrative. Either way, Luo Binghe is going to lose him. Either way, this is a turning point.
I wouldn’t claim that this is the intent of the penalty, but it fascinates me that the System has, potentially, backed the plotline into a corner - because Binghe still stands to be blackened even if Shen Qingqiu took the other choice.
Think about what that would look like, to him. He’s at the Immortal Alliance Conference, and everything is going wrong. He’s been outed as a demon, and not just a demon - the top tier of demon, as bad as it gets from the perspective of a righteous cultivator. His beloved teacher, the person who has been kindest to him and opened his home and heart to him, is standing there with his sword in hand, deciding what he’s going to do about what must look, to him, like a horrific betrayal. Binghe is apologizing. Binghe is begging for his life.
Shen Qingqiu hears him. Maybe it shows on his face, or in his voice, that he already knew; maybe there’s no hint at all, but Shen Qingqiu is suddenly talking quickly with an abrupt sense of urgency that Luo Binghe is having a hard time keeping up with. Telling him he’ll be wonderful - telling him he’s the best. Telling him the world will be his, with emotions cracking through that aloof mask that Binghe has never seen on Shizun’s face before, and it’s terrifying for reasons that Binghe cannot identify.
(He will, later. When he has time to think, he’ll realize it sounded like a goodbye.)
And then Shen Qingqiu is bleeding. And then Shen Qingqiu is on the ground. And then Shen Qingqiu is dead. There’s no countdown for Binghe - there’s no System, there’s no warning, there’s no answers.
Luo Binghe is a heavenly demon in the middle of a conference sabotaged by demons. Luo Binghe is alone. His fellow competing disciples are scattered, some dead or injured. The Peak Lord of Qing Jing Peak, the second in command of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect, maybe the only person he loved and who loved him back, is dead at his feet. No one will believe him if he says it isn’t his fault.
(He can’t believe it isn’t his fault.)
What choice does he have but to run? The last heavenly demon the cultivation world went up against has been sealed under a mountain for years, and one of the people responsible for that is probably looking for Shen Qingqiu already. They’ll be looking for him, too. There isn’t anywhere to hide; there isn’t any time to mourn.
There isn’t even enough time to ask why. Why again.
There is no closure waiting for him, because there is nothing to explain what happened. It just is.
It would be a different kind of blackening, certainly - less intense, probably, less of a warping, desperate thing. But how many times can one person have all the love and safety in their world torn out from under them before it starts to show? Before they just don’t allow things like love and safety to touch them, because that’s the better option?
Interesting to consider that, simply by offering the choices it did, the System rigged the story to guarantee that Luo Binghe would end up in hell (deliberate or not).
Interesting to consider that, even if Shen Qingqiu made what might have seemed like a kinder choice, there was every chance it wouldn’t have been.
#scum villian self saving system#svsss#shen qingqiu#luo binghe#I have been thinking about Alternative Blackening Methods#(for reasons)#(don’t worry about it)#and while I don’t think it would be on the same level as the endless abyss#I think suddenly losing his Shizun would fuck Binghe up#especially like that with no explanation right in front of him??#like#he is not gonna be okay#and then he’s stuck in a realm filled to the BRIM with cultivators after his blood#maybe it’s not THE blackening but it is A blackening#and it gives me feelings#because even if sqq was willing to make that sacrifice I’m not convinced that would have… helped Binghe#(also au where sqq somehow has the mushroom body ready to go before the conference)#(and Binghe unexpectedly encounters his Shizun in the wild)#(and they run away together in the most ill-conceived escape plan known to man)
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“Rae, why does this coin look so unique compared to the other yen?”
“Oh! See how this one has a face instead of the number of value on it? It’s because this is American currency, this here is a quarter, worth 25 cents. They have George Washington’s portrait in them.”
“That- That’s George Washington!? The first president of the United States!?”
“Uh… yah? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing! I simply, uhm… envisioned him rather differently than… this.”
Based on Even in the Next One !!! This isn’t an actual scene inside the chapters, but it’s just so easy to imagine them with how lively they feel. Please go give it a read if you haven’t yet <3
To @jobrrr : AUUGHH I’M IN LOVE WITH YOUR FIC!!! It has been a few months since I last became this invested in one :’D It just feels SO real and there are so many thoughts in my head as a result; hopefully I overcome my shyness and drop a comment proper sometime soon. Thank you for your service.
ALSO @melpymoo ! HUGE thank you for reading this alongside me omfg this is crazy, never before has a hyperfix been revived this violently 😭 Ty for granting me the space to be totally normal about these 2, looking forward to the rest of your reactions ^^
#I was planning on working on this in the server vc while we listened to the LN2 audiobook#But I got so fucking invested all over again I didnt and actually just sat there in dread#counting the pages until *that* scene on the final chapter arrived#i was sick#i was ill#its okay though drawing afterwards was my therapy#ANYWAYS#im gonna go read ch12 now wish me luck im worried#ilu Rei Oohashi you’ll forever be famous no matter if you can make a crème brûlée or not#just PLEASE COMMUNICATE#long live yuri#okay tag time#watashi no oshi wa akuyaku reijou#wataoshi#i’m in love with the villainess#im in love with the villainess#claire francois#rae taylor#rei ohashi#iftv#iltv
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family portrait
#this show is so fucking funny i can’t#loona’s little proud smirk#via trying to suppress a laugh#stolas’ adorable worried expression#blitz groaning in pain on the ground#everything is perfect i’m crying#helluva boss#vivziepop#stolitz
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“You need to do better.”
(This gets vitriolic, and is a full-blown criticism of Macaque’s portrayal in Season Four and Five. If criticism of a character/franchise you like upsets you, I do not recommend reading.)
Wow. I had no faith in his character writing, and I’m STILL disappointed.
And it only took one episode! How impressive!
Macaque, who has put in ZERO on-screen effort to become a better person or make amends to his victims, is criticizing Wukong for being a bad mentor! And does Wukong criticize him back? NOPE!
After getting screamed at and berated, does Wukong defend himself? NOPE!
Ooh, but there was a second long reference in a dual yelling match that mentioned that Macaque was a genuinely bad person who took glee in hurting innocent people! Oh, fucking delightful! Ooh, Wukong even points out in one episode that Macaque goes without consequences!
Pointing out a flaw in your writing does not make it less of a flaw.
Macaque will always be allowed to do whatever he wants to anyone he wants- power theft, attempted murder, insults, deceit, assault-
And the narrative and characters will never hold him accountable or force Macaque to look inwards or become a better person.
Macaque will always fall upwards into redemption without any obstacles or pushback.
There will never be a struggle to goodness with a satisfying conclusion. There will never be a moment where falters in his newfound goodness and questions going back to his old ways. There will never be explicit remorse or regret. He will never have deep introspections on his crimes and atrocities that provide a reason for him to want to change.
The sum of his “arc” will always be “you were a good guy all along”, and that lack of depth is where it will stay.
RIP Seasons 1-3 Macaque. You were fun and interesting and cool and lovable.
But the man they replaced you with was destined to be a boring and brooding “anti-hero” who has no real connection to the actions you selfishly and violently performed with your own two hands-
And you will always be a less interesting character for it.
The execution of the actual arc boils down to a single heroic (but ultimately self-serving) moment and then Macaque is immediately forgiven for all the crimes he’s committed and is a magically better person without any effort and nothing he’s done is ever brought up again.
It severely weakens any character’s arc to cut them off from their past actions. If MK forgot his traumas every season instead of carrying them forward- we’d all agree that doing so was a case of poor writing.
It was the reason that people disliked Mei’s portrayal in Season Four- she immediately moved on from the Samadhi Fire arc and “no longer wielded it” after spending a whole season gathering and learning to use it.
Why can’t we agree that it’s bad for Macaque, too?
You can’t “develop” a character by dropping an entire plotline and writing it off with one line.
You can’t “redeem” a character by pretending that they were a good person right from the start.
Sorry, bud.
I really did like you. I just wish I could like your writing.
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And, what is more clear to me now than ever?
People only defended Macaque’s shitty writing because they think he’s hot.
I know this now, because I’ve seen white-hot Li Jing arc hatred from fervent Macaque arc defenders.
So we all agree that an “I didn’t really mean it!” isn’t an excuse to abuse the people around you? That you don’t get to mistreat innocent people just because you’re stressed and upset?
Hmmm.
Hmmmmmmm.
I wonder why people despise Jing for his dogshit “one nice thing redeems all your bad actions” arc but love Macaque for his??
(Because they think the monkey is hot.)
The funny thing, though?
Li Jing apologizes to at least one of the victims of his actions. He expresses regret and remorse.
Macaque doesn’t even have that.
——————
Anyways here’s a line that I hate because Macaque has in no way developed enough to have the right to deliver it-
AND NO, SUDDENLY HAVING AN AFFINITY FOR PERFORMING KIND OR SACRIFICIAL ACTS IS NOT GOOD CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT
HIM MAGICALLY OFFSCREEN BECOMING A GOOD PERSON WHO CARES ABOUT INNOCENT LIFE IS NOT GOOD CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT
IF ALL IT TAKES TO “BE BETTER” IS ACTING LIKE A HERO, WUKONG IS LITERALLY A THOUSAND TIMES BETTER OF A PERSON THAN HE IS
THIS LINE IS DOGSHIT
“You need to do better.”
Really, Macaque? Maybe you should take your own damn advice- try apologizing to one of the people you tried to hurt and tried to murder in cold blood!
Like when you trapped MK under his staff after stealing his powers and tried to murder him when he was helpless?
Or when you kidnapped MK’s friends and tortured the kid by forcing him to fight them?
Or you led a violent assault against a palace full of innocent people?
Or violently beat his dear friends until they were screaming in pain?
Or assaulted Tang, who posed no threat to you?
Or threatened to murder an innocent girl if you didn’t get your way, then ran away (and encouraged MK to abandon her) first thing when it put her into a life-threatening meltdown of raw power?
(Isn’t it cool how NONE of these people have interesting or varied reactions to him doing this and ALL immediately are cool with him like a gelatinous hivemind.)
(Oooh ONE mildly questioning line from Pigsy but no anger over his adoptive son nearly being killed multiple times over)
(Isn’t it cool that no one has complex or interesting thoughts on this.)
(Isn’t it cool that by robbing them of unique feelings on the matter they robbed Macaque and the Monkie Kids of compelling and interesting interactions that could’ve helped flesh out their personalities and strengthen their characterization.)
(Isn’t it cool that Macaque and the Monkie Kids are actively denied intriguing character dynamics so Macaque’s shitty “redemption arc” can happen faster.)
(Isn’t that cool.)
Why don’t YOU do better, Macaque?
(In a way that is more satisfying than “one kind-hearted speech from a kid that I tried to murder changed my mind and now I am a better person but all my character development happened offscreen and without personal introspection”, at least.)
Also what the fuck do you mean by “do better”?
Be heroic and put your life in danger? He already does that! He’s done it more than you have!
Just tell MK that he’s not alone? YOU COULD DO THAT YOURSELF, MACAQUE!
Help MK with his traumas and fears? MK doesn’t tell anyone about those! He keeps them bottled up, lock and key, and actively refuses attempts to help!
Wukong TRIED to reach out to him, and MK PUSHED HIM AWAY! Was he supposed to tie the fucking kid down and torture the information out of him?
He respected MK’s boundaries by not pushing any further and letting him leave!!
WHY IS THAT A BAD THING??
What the fuck, man
#Lego Monkie Kid#LMK#Lego Monkie Kid Season Five#LMK Spoilers#Lego Monkie Kid Spoilers#LMK Analysis#LMK Critical#Sun Wukong#Macaque#Please prove me wrong Season Six#I want people to look back on this post and laugh at me#I fucking hate not liking things#I want to be wrong when I say things are bad#But I’m starting to… not like Monkie Kid?#Because I like LMK and JTTW!!!#And I like Sun Wukong!#But LMK is starting to feel like Beowulf (2007) where the creator actually hated the original work#And now it feels like the writers just want to shit in Wukong by making him a walking disaster who does everything wrong#And I’m worried that Macaque will be what the fandom wants him to be- a perfect precious baby victim who does no wrong#And Sun Wukong will forever be a ‘mistake’ who is punished again and again and again#While the Bullfam and Macaque get away scot-free with all their crimes and no punishment#Anyways if the writers AND the fandom could stop treating Sun Wukong like a fucking punching bag#That would be nice
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Can someone give me well written fluffy Percabeth fics I feel like I’ve read the majority of them already and I don’t want to open another tab to add on to the 107 tabs I have.
Edit: THANK YOU SO MUCH TO THOSE WHO GAVE ME RECS PEOPLE NEVER ACTUALLY ANSWER
#please and thank you#help a girl out#I need to start clearing my tabs#but I don’t want to close my ao3 tabs because those are very specific searches that I’m sorting through#I need to look at the newer percabeth fics#but I’m gonna mess up my system#yes my ao3 search has a system#anyways any percabeth fics that aren’t a big story would be great thank you#idc about smut at this point as long as it’s not the whole thing#as long as it’s skippable it’s fine#pjo#percabeth#is skippable a word?#it looks weird#percabeth fic rec#percabeth fluff#percy jackson#annabeth chase#percy jackson and the olympians#heroes of olympus#hoo#ao3#ao3 recs#fanfiction#and I can’t fuck it up because then I’ll have to start over and I’ won’t be able to find fics I haven’t read yet#it’s overwhelming to think about#these are so none issues but whatever#it’s summer I got nothing else to worry about#except for the fact that school starts soon and I hate everyone there and why did I think it was a good idea to pick advanced classes#anyways
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i need snack recommendations!!! everything i have is too sweet and i don’t like a lot of salty things either but idk what else to get for snacks 🥲
any recs 🥺
#i’m weird abt salty things and i don’t wanna go overboard w them#bc even tho i have no symptoms and no inclination beyond being fat i am worried abt high blood pressure#also i fucking hate shit like cheezits and goldfish. nasty nasty nasty#and i’m tired of pringles#talk
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I’m currently hyperfixated rereading Ftfo and can barely do any drawing but I’m trying!!! ‘^’ Designs are easier to draw for some reason so might see only those for a bit T-T
anyways have my version of Lord Lunar’s Gemini! They get fun new outfits!!!
#my artwork#fnaf#tsams#tsams au#tsams Lord lunar au#tsams castor#tsams pollux#tsams gemini#laes castor#laes pollux#laes gemini#the lunar and earth show#tlaes au#tlaes#little rant incoming#feel free to ignore#bro I’m recognizing the difference between a fun interest and a hyperfication and it’s not fun#I really wanna finish rereading ftfo but i keep having to force myself to be like ‘Take a break#go draw and such’ ect#because I’m just not moving for such long periods of time and I physically have to force my brain to stop skipping lines because I genuinely#can’t focus#and#if I stop for too long I’m so worried I’ll lose interest#want to finish ftfo but hyperfication is so bad#T-T#anyways#drink some fucking water#y’all#(don’t worry to much about me btw I’m doing okay and still taking care of myself just a lil frustrated)#(oh and ftfo is an undertale fanfic btw For the Forgotten Ones by I’m_Sorry_Buddy on Ao3 it’s freaking awesome)
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MY BESTIE JUST PAID ME FORTY BUCKS TO DRAW SOUKOKU IN SHUAKE FITS OH MY GOD SCREAMINGSNDHHHHGGGG IM ABOUT TO CULTIVATE THE FINEST PIECE OF ART IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND JUST FOR HIM THIS MONEY WILL KEEP ME FED FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK GODBLESS I LOVE HUMANITY
#i’m about to fucking die bc i just checked the details BUT WORRY NOT#being an artist for not only genshin but starrail as well has prepared me well#(<- who am i kidding i’ve only been drawing coats and pants for months i forgot what clothing details were😔💔)
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we still need help with rent, we don’t even have $100 between us and still have $200 to pay for rent, if anyone would be able to help us out that would be great. some of what we got went towards rent and the rest has gone towards food. i’ve been really sick so i’ve missed a few days of work this week and last week so my next check is gonna suck shit, if it matters me and my boyfriend are both mixed trans guys that are both struggling to get work like at all these days
cshpp: $hookinmouth88
pypl: sofarsogoodsowhat
#we’re two mixed trans guys etc etc etc im really fucking stressed and ive been really sick so thats just making everything worse#like i’ve been too sick to work i haven’t gone in in like four days so i’m worried im gonna lose my job too
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THEY EEPYY <33333333
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
#the FUCK is an art style anymore 😭😭#TAKE THE SLEEPY DOODLE#THEY ARE THE MOST TWINS#AAAAUUUGHH#disaster twins#the disaster twins#rise disaster twins#rottmnt disaster twins#also August if you’re reading this#no I am not awake this post was SCHELDULED#do not worry I swear I’m not awake at like 4 am or smthing like that#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#save rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#save rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise fanart#tmnt fanart#is this enough tags#rise leo#rise donnatello#rise donnie#rise donatello#rise leonardo#rottmnt leonardo#rottmnt donnie#anyways hi
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Mokmok Sensei back at it again with another banger illustration
Original tweet
#the summer hikaru died#Hikaru ga Shinda Natsu#tshd#hgsn#I always worry that I’m gonna fuck up the romaji because the romaji on my computer keyboard is slightly more simplified than average#and I’ve gotten used to that#anyways#can’t wait to figure out what all this is about#my package with hikanatsu volume four finally shipped after THREE WEEKS#hgsn spoilers
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Percy meeting someone taller then him: shook
#harry potter#percy weasley#idk I lowkey feel like he’s like 6’2 or something#and he’s the tallest or amongst his siblings or they’re the same height as him#so him seeing somone taller then him he’s like huh#I mean he doesn’t have to worry about being carried#I’m pretty sure anyone could carry him#esp if shorter#dude is lanky as fuck#trust me#I’m short as fuck and can carry my friend who’s 6’3#I will not be giving my height yet
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