#fuck I miss choir
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ough,,, I miss choir
#there's nothing like being a part of beautiful harmony#there's nothing like fading together into blissful silence#there's nothing like the satisfaction of a resolving chord#there's nothing like being the support that allows sopranos to rise#there's nothing like the resonant beats of dissonant chords#fuck I miss choir#cray kay scream
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You would think being in choir for what? 9 years? of my school career, id be able to read sheet music but nah never picked it up
Especially in highschool we like learned and everything and i just never could read it. It didnt make sense to me and never stuck
#ghostcryptid rant#I basically just copied the other voices in my section#i mean it worked#our choir was invited to go to all sorts of events so 🤷♂️#Fuck I miss choir
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yeppers
#decadentart#bloodborne#choir intelligencer edgar#<-i hope he explodes#idk what else to say about this#just look at it. preferably not for long . dont wanna die of frenzy man#this is wntirely concept art for a one off piece#<- for context#also the missing parts of the choir garb are intentional.#for the Classic Winter Lantern (tm) the doll’s cape is missing#also yea the resemblance to parasitized snails. on purpouse. idc if slugs dont have rhat. its for Fucked Up Scary points
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People jumping ship cause of the new masks is very ahhhh. Telling. Tbh.
#very much so#tell me you where only here cause of the looks without telling me your only here cause of the looks#listen. I miss the old masks already too. that’s not the point.#you can mourn for something without that taking away your joy for it.#‘it’s all moving so fast’ iii has been turning red since July.#‘they’re evolving too fast’ or we just got here later then others.#‘I can’t even listen anymore’ sucks to be you. the music that has been put out hasn’t changed so I don’t understand this one#‘they’re gonna get cancelled over this’ ok. I guess this is just thinning out the people who were real fans and who where fake fans#I’m gonna be a sleep token fan til the end. if this is the way they want their image to go? I’ll follow. if we get heavier music next?#sounds fucking amazing to me. (I listen to heavier stuff anyway).#idk I just think it’s so so so fucking telling. that if your jumping ship cause their Live Performance Aesthetic has changed… you didn’t#mean it when you said sleep token was important to you.#like I’m 100% MOURNING the old masks. I am BMO with Finn’s old hair sobbing about the old masks.#but I know this too shall pass#this is how I fucking felt about Vessel’s mask change#and to everyone going ‘what about Vessel and the Chior!’#1). VESSEL HAD A MASK CHANGE EARLIER THIS YEAR!!! he isn’t gonna change masks again so fast those fuckers r expensive!#2). the choir did have a change?? they wherent wearing robes at all and where in body chains they looked amazing#I get we are all neurodiverse and hate change but take a deep breath before you renounce all your sleep token love#I��m guessing Vessel will get a new mask in April again. for the kick off show.#tonight was a closing show. and he didn’t FEEL GOOD. I wouldn’t be surprised that if he was gonna do something with a new mask#if he pushed it back because he didn’t feel good.#he performed a whole show while we could TELL his throat was hurting. fuck.#I want to wrap him up in a warm hug and give him hot water with honey in it.#idk I’m rambling. it’s just telling.
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Staring at the wall trying not to think about how the last time I got laid was a one night stand with a queer guy that was somehow better than all of the sex in my 1.5 year previous relationship and that only happened because of Hinge but I will not re-download an app, re-downloading an app is the mind killer etc etc and besides they don’t even work anymore
#I’m gonna be honest y’all. getting tired of the regularly scheduled Surely There’s Something I’m Missing rigamarole I go through#at least one evening a week these days#I have been so goddamn fucking patient. I was patient for five years during and after college#I was patient during motherfucking Covid#and now I haven’t gotten laid since February#people irl ask me if I want to date again and I say I would love to! do you know where the people are?#because they aren’t at my church or my choir or in my coffee shops or friends with my friends!#they’re not making small talk at the movies or the symphony!#I do leave my house!
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count how often i make a post about missing choir here's post number whatever. i miss choir
#spacie spoinks#im gonna do it next semester . but i miss it. so bad brah#i need 2 sing or ill die#also hearing donna lynne champlin sing makes me less insecure of my voice cuz shes also operatically inclined#and her voice does the same thing mine does where her vibrato is very strong and she sounds fucking AWESOME#maybe i....sound awesome too.....#such a fucking. skilled musician . im listening ta her sing face your fears from cxg#and . when the final note came i was like. is she gonna be able 2 hit it. b/c usually thats a very hard note 2 hit#head on w/out your voice cracking since it sits. in a weird place between headvoice and chest. aND THEN SHE HIT IT???#CRAZY EPIC STYLE?????#LIKE THE SUPPORT ??? AND THEN SHE LIFTED HER SOFT PALLET I HEARD IT BRO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#I WAS LIKE :JAWDROP:#NOBODY KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK IM TALKING ABOUTTTTT SOBS#CHOIR PEOPLE/PEOPLE WHO LOVE TALKING ABOUT VOCAL PERFORMANCE FOLLOW ME SO I CAN SCREAM WITH YOU#sigh#anyways
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It's actually so fucked that it's been so long since I was in high school. What do you mean I'm one semester away from finishing grad school? What do you mean my best friend is in law school? To me it's still ten years ago and we're sitting backstage in the theatre together during play rehearsal.
#like thats so fucked up it actually makes me wanna cry#i miss getting to see her every day when we had gym or choir last period and then went to play rehearsal together after#i miss passing people in the hall everyday and knowing where people will be#why am i an adult thats not right#not yr#personal
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i have to ask because ive seen the name spelled with and without the accent- is it cléo or cleo?
it’s cléo! and omg okay i actually had a written thing for this back when i was first setting my girl up but it’s lost in the void now…….. so her maternal grandmother grew up in france and was named anya right. huge huge pianist during her time. and it’s bc of her grandmother that cléo’s mom kemi grew up to be a child of the industry herself (MORE ON THAT LATER!) but kemi wanted to honor anya with her own daughter + just really liked the name cleo (which means to ‘make famous’ btw…) so: cléo anya! the accent is just there for decoration tbh i think it just makes it look prettier LMFAOOO
#⠀⠀⠀⠀﹒⎯⎯ answered.#cléo’s name is very purposefully chosen it’s so important to her story and how she holds herself against the narrative#the narrative: me#IF I CAN JUST YAP IN THE TAGS#like i said above cleo (or clio) means to make famous!#which is so important because all the women in her life are Known Stars…. it was only natural for her to follow in their footsteps!#singing comes natural to her (growing up in the church as a choir kid) so she was very comfortable with it#but after moving to sk and getting her roots ripped out and replanted a whole continent away and having music / singing being taken in such#a different context than she was used to….. oh she suffered BAD 😭 my poor girl….#also note that the most notable person with the name cleo would be a certain queen of egypt…#and as someone who used to play chess (not competitively god fuck no AJAHAHDJW) the ranks and titles of the chess pieces and what they can#do have always interested me#and at the risk of sounding like a fucking nerd (🤓☝🏽) having cléo embody the queen piece ……ohhmfjrheuej#cause the queen piece is the most powerful piece on the fucking board !!! (miss me with that king shit idc)#like if your queen is GONE you’re practically defenseless. and so having cléo’s name also have queen-like connotations and then having her#fuckass ex nearly check her ass out of a career#vibrating fast enough to shatter glass DO YALL UNDERSTAND…….#alright let me stop. JSVEJEWVH
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.anyone else wanna lay on the floor and feeling emotions
#.EMTOINS BEGONE WE ARE DRINKIGN WATER FUCK YOUUUU#<-saays as if it doesnt feel emotions all the time <-.MISSING POPLE <-YEA I KNOW I FEEL IT TOO BUT JOKE GOTTA JOKE <-.UNDERSTANDABLE#.LOVE YA MARS OUR BROTHER STRANGER <-LOVE YA TOO BROTHER SISTER DAVE#mjers void choir
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walked into a church the other day and remembered a few church songs that i used to love singing and now my head is stuck on that specific cozy feeling again *sigh* gotta cope with writing some more of that lesbokris au i guess
#voice of a guy who didnt even believe in god and who left the church ten years ago but grew up deeply catholic so theres no escaping it ever#id say go listen to may the road rise to meet you but you would get it. YOU WOULDNT GET IT.#the german version has different melody and different verses and its nicer SORRY also i looked at like twenty different videos of choirs#singing it on youtube but none of them hit half as good as the version in my head and in my heart bc its end of summer camp and everyone#stands in a big circle holding hands to sing it and its last day before summer break at catholic school and everyone gathers in the aula to#sing and its a packed church on sunday and everyone is sanft falle regen auf deine felder und warm auf dein gesicht der sonnenschein#and everyones singing sei über 40 jahre im himmel bevor der teufel merkt du bist schon tot#and everyones singing bis wir uns mal wiedersehen hoffe ich dass gott dich nicht verlässt. er halte dich in seinen händen doch drücke seine#faust dich nicht zu fest. und bis wir uns wiedersehen halte gott dich fest in seiner hand YOU DONT GET IT YOULL NEVER GET IT ARGH.#its such a tender song its so sweet and loving and i dont even gaf abt god but its the sentiment its the feelings godddddd#i wish i was 12 again and standing in a field at 6am with morning dew on the grass and im tired and shivering in the fresh air and we just#need to pack up the tents and then its end of summer and ill sit on the bus home for ten hours and when i get home my mom makes my#favourite dinner bc she missed me so much#everyone look away im having therapy sessions on the dash again.#soph txts#txt#anyways nice choir version in the source. but still not hitting the spot.#i will deal with it by making lesbian bokris experience things. im fucking hopeless.
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jbsfhffidjhdhf im so pissed one of my good friends is having a party and i can't fucking go bc i have 3 concerts that day
#just a load of garbage#istg everything is on that day and i have to miss it all#netball photos the party my mother's birthday literally everything important#fuck choir honestly#nah jk i love it
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MY CHOIR CONCERT SUCKED ASS I AM NOT JOINING CHOIR NEXT YEAR IT WAS LITERALLY DICK
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ok handels messiah is just as wonderfully dreadful as i remember it why does he write tenor lines like that. what the hell man
#the hallelujah line is just like incomprehensible#he just makes you fucking jump down an octave at one point i’m pretty sure???#at least we’re singing this with another choir because otherwise it would just be me and this one other guy#and bless him he’s lovely but i think he’s gonna struggle with handel which i mean i don’t blame him#at least ive done three of the choruses already so i can help ?#it’s weird doing messiah again i can’t lie#cause we did it at school last last december meaning i was Experiencing The Motions at the time#meaning i associate it with like bojack horseman and persona 5 royal#like when it says wonderful counsellor in one of them i remember going ‘no way just like maruki except not’#and being in the classroom and fuck i’m never gonna go in those classrooms again#oh that’s a weird feeling i hadn’t processed that bit yet that’s just gone forever. the poor music department i do miss it#but no i remember going in at lunchtime and only like 4 people showing up to do these extra compulsory rehearsals#and the music teacher lookin so concerned at my deteriorated sleep deprived state#and me realising that he wasn’t entirely completely mean and evil#man i hope i never have to do haydn’s creation again#not only did i sing soprano (what the fuck) i was going through it at the time#man that’s really how that all was huh#why’d i deal with evil guy for so long that’s surreal#anyway right music am i right#ezra’s real life rambles#ezra likes music
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i do not know if i ever sent this to you. i have posted it. i hope you like it Princess.
#uhhhhhm no you HAVE NOT SENT THIS TO ME BEFORE?!?!#I literally am speechless#I’m not super talky right now#but even if I was I feel like I’d still be fucking speechless#like I already said I love your writing 🩷#and it fucking BLOWS ME AWAY when people write about me or use me as an inspiration#like????????? what??????? me???????????!#I’m going to keep this close to my heart and look at it whenever I’m feeling down#I don’t remember if I said that already but it’s true#I need to get a journal or a cute box to put things like this in so I can just grab it and look through them when I’m feeling shitty#one thing I needed to say is the fact that you shared this with me now of all times??? is kinda crazy to me#idk if it’s a coincidence or if the universe/God/whoever/whatever is trying to tell me to go back into music and singing#not going to go into it too much but I’ve been looking at my life a lot lately#and I’m realizing I’m not getting any younger…. I know I’m still young but if I don’t do something soon -#my life is going to completely pass before my eyes and I really really don’t want that#I’m *finally* going to get mental help soon (long story but I have to wait a few weeks)#and once I’m actually mentally stable I can focus on what I want to do with my life#so I’ve been thinking a lot about my performing arts background and then randomly a get an email from a choir director I know#asking if I could please join the choir for their Easter performance cause they could really use my high notes#and she just kept complimenting me and it felt really nice ☺️#then when I went to the first rehearsal I sat next to this girl and we were singing a part and the first sopranos go up to a high A#and I can hit it easily but most of them couldn’t so it felt like I was going this mini solo lol#but she asks me what my range is and I told her that back when I trained I could sing queen of the night which I think goes up to an F6#and she was talking about how impressive that is#and it made me think about if I actually trained and got back into it how good I actually could get#I don’t mean this to be like ‘look at me look at me I’m so good’#it just feels nice to have a little bit of a direction again#who knows if I’ll actually go down the music path again but it does sound damn exciting#I miss it with all my heart - I miss singing and performing and acting… I even miss music theory#anyway rant over and i ran out of space but thank you so much I seriously can’t thank you enough 😭🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷
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thinking about singing in a choir/group in comparison to singing solo/accompanied by music and just thinking abt how comparatively different that is. an orchestral backup to a solo song is nice- and takes a lot of dedication to perfect, certainly- but you will always be missing the synergy that comes with singing with other people. the synchronous intake of breath, the way vocal harmonies hum through the air in a way humans were biologically designed to pay keen attention to. the control and perfection of sound with your body instead of just your hands and limbs, and the perpetual awareness that you're operating in sync with a handful or tens or even a large group of people.
anyways. thinking abt how wigfrid's 'spellbinding' singing voice absolutely did NOT come out of the blue. thinking about how she probably started singing alongside some sort of group before moving to actressing and spending the rest of her career and the rest of her life before the constant singing and being completely alone.
#yes this post is abt the fav but its also abt ME thats how i know its true bc its happening to ME!!! RIGHT NOW!!!!#i NEED to get back into high school chorus for my fucking mental health. miss that shit so bad.#indescribable feeling the raw POWER in the room the KINSHIP... we were fucking soldiers going to war#the war being our parents in our crappy auditorium. ANYWAYS. its not the same singing alone is not and never will be the same.#i think abt this once every two days at least. the fact that wig's first role was an overnight success means she MUST have spent.#like. YEARS perfecting her voice. singing is something that can be. so personal.#singing with your family singing with your friends. singing for a group. a church. idk. idc.#to dedicate your life to perfecting a talent and finding so much stardom that you accidentally condemn yourself to doing it alone. forever.#yeesh. yikes.#yall gotta get the rest of the survivors some professional singing lessons. make that her present come winters feast.#this bitch needs a choir STAT (i am also the bitch)#does this make ANY sense im procrastinating on my homework so idk
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i have emotional motion sickness. somebody roll the windows down.
#shut up kell#god#i hate you for what you did and i miss you like a little kid. i faked it every time but that's alright. i hardly feel anything at all.#you were in a band when i was born. you were in a choir. you had been in choirs for YOUR god for forty fucking years when i was born.#i'm cool i promise i just had to articulate a lot of intense stuff earlier tonight and it. wears on a guy a lil bit lol
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