#fuck Bill O’Reilly

[confused-v2]

Get money and :3 all day

[masaidabest]

RANDOM DISCLAIMERRRR

hey . don’t do anything that i’d say in this song . ok ?

it’s FUCKING FICTION !!

if anything happens , don’t fucking blame me .

white america , FUCK bill o’reilly

4 , 3 , 2 , 1 .

[back-and-totheleft]

The Son Also Kneels

Oliver Stone was deplaning at LAX following a 16-hour trip from Indonesia when he turned on his phone and found it blowing up with texts from his office. Apparently the media—what he called the “paparazzi”—had been in touch. They wanted to ask him about his son, Sean.

In particular, they wanted to know what he thought of Sean’s decision to become a Muslim. Oliver instructed his office to decline comment.

“He never consulted me,” the elder Mr. Stone recalled in a phone call to The Observer from his production office in Los Angeles. “That is something you normally talk to your parents about.”

The director is a practicing Buddhist. “Obviously the Muslim religion believes in a singular god,” he added. “I don’t.”

Sean Stone, a 27-year-old filmmaker who was raised a Buddhist and spent his youth exploring his Christian and Jewish roots (not to mention any number of film sets), is like his old man, a determined—some would say obstinate—truth-seeker. He is also a man of firm opinions who is unafraid to express them in a highly public fashion.

But to peg him, as one Yahoo! News commenter did recently, as “another nut from a spoiled confused family,” is to miss the point entirely.

To hear him tell it, accepting Islam as his faith (and adopting a new Muslim middle name, Ali) is a demonstration that one man can embrace three Abrahamic religions as a gesture of peace.

“I don’t take a priest’s interpretation as sanctity,” he said. “I would not take an imam’s ruling on the Koran as being definitive. I would not take anyone’s word except my own interpretation of the books.”

Mr. Stone’s conversion was only part of his recent media coming-out party. In announcing his newfound faith, he eagerly stepped into perhaps the thorniest foreign policy question of the moment: whether Iran is secretly developing nuclear weapons, and whether its president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, is a total nutjob.

“My main thing is I don’t want to see a war, an imperialistic war, because I know what it could do to the region,” he said. Mr. Stone also defended Mr. Ahmadinejad—the man who infamously referred to the Holocaust as a “myth” and declared that Israel should be “wiped off a map”—as a “rational actor.”

“The media is so biased in trying to paint him as a madman, because if he is a madman, you can’t talk to him,” he explained to The Observer.

Mr. Stone first met with Mr. Ahmadinejad in February, when he was a featured guest at the “Hollywoodism and Cinema” conference in Tehran. The president gave him a copy of Omar Khayyam’s Rubaiyat.

When asked what they talked about, Mr. Stone didn’t really remember. The meeting might have seemed an opportunity to do some diplomatic work for his father, who had been eager to follow up his documentary portraits of Fidel Castro and Hugo Chavez with one on Mr. Ahmadinejad, but had been rebuffed (many Iranians took issue with perceived historical inaccuracies in his Alexander the Great biopic). Still, the younger Stone didn’t push the issue.

It soon became clear that Mr. Stone’s views on Iran are not all that radical. For instance, shortly after he defended his opinions to network news blowhards Bill O’Reilly and Piers Morgan, Meir Dagan, the former head of the Mossad, appeared on 60 Minutes to declare that bombing Iran right now was “the stupidest idea [he] ever heard.”

Still, his comments were controversial, even within his own family. “When you’re younger, you can make mistakes by saying what people don’t want to hear,” the elder Mr. Stone noted. “Sometimes he says stuff that I think is downright fucking stupid.”

The Observer met the Son of Oliver at a rear table at Think Coffee by Union Square one March morning.

Tall, strapping and square-jawed, Sean Christopher Ali Stone appeared more Winklevii than Wahabi. He did not have his father’s self-described “Mongol eyes” or the gap between his teeth.

What he did have, however, was the family curiosity, and that knack for taking controversial positions.

“I think it’s important to have that spirit of inquiry, that spirit of investigation,” Mr. Stone said as he periodically sipped from a cup of chai tea. “If you keep slandering people, calling them ‘conspiracy theorists,’ you’re killing the desire to investigate, the desire to actually know.”

Mr. Stone, who is single and divides his time between Los Angeles and New York’s Alphabet City, wanted to make it clear that his highly publicized spiritual transformation was not intended as a publicity gambit.

It all began on Valentine’s Day 2010, when he and his filmmaking partner, Alexander Wraith, were at Letchworth Village, an abandoned institution for the mentally and physically disabled in Rockland County. They were there to film Graystone, Mr. Stone’s feature debut, about two men (named Sean and Alexander) who visit supposedly haunted sites to explore their belief in the supernatural.

He and Mr. Wraith had brought along candles from St. Patrick’s Cathedral, which they lit and placed on the ground as they prayed aloud. They heard screams and howls and a child’s laughter, which scared them both shitless.

“That’s why there’s an expression ‘There are no atheists in foxholes,’” he said. “Either you find your faith and you believe that there is a higher power guiding you and protecting you, or else you basically surrender it and say there is no God.”

Two years later to the day, Mr. Stone found himself in Isfahan, Iran, sitting inside a mosque across from a Shiite cleric, explaining his reasons for wanting to be a Muslim. He was accompanied by a man named Bahram Heidari, an Iranian living in Canada who was helping him develop a feature film about the Sufi poet Rumi (Mr. Stone is also prepping a documentary on djinn, or genies). With an Iranian TV news crew on hand to document the occasion, Mr. Stone said the shahada, the Muslim declaration of belief.

“I didn’t ‘convert,’” he pointed out, “because I don’t believe you can convert from the same God. It’s an acceptance of Islam as an extension of what I call the Judeo-Christian tradition going back to Abraham.”

He said he was surprised the event generated so much attention. “We had not arranged for any press,” he said. “We don’t know how they found out about it.”

But when everyone from CNN to Agence France-Presse jumped on the story, he went with it. He later defended Iran on cable news. “It seems that every time we sanction this country and turn the bolts tighter around it … it’s just going to make them potentially more radical and dangerous,” he said. “You can’t just bomb your way to an accord.” While defending Mr. Ahmadinejad, he also was emphatic that “there is no room for Holocaust denial.” (Not long ago, his father also was quoted minimizing the Holocaust.)

It’s not hard to understand how Mr. Stone developed a certain sympathy for men of strong convictions who are unafraid to offend.

“He says things that rile people, I’m not going to deny that,” Mr. Stone said of Mr. Ahmadinejad. He says the same about his dad. “I think he likes controversy,” Mr. Stone said. “I think as much as anything, he likes that people get riled.”

Sean Stone was born in Santa Monica in 1984, the eldest child of Oliver and Elizabeth Burkit Fox, a production assistant and Oliver’s second wife.

He made his screen debut at 6 months, with a cameo in Salvador. At age 2, he was playing Gordon Gekko’s kid, “a fat little capitalist son,” as he put it.

His earliest and clearest film memory was being on the set of Born on the Fourth of July, in which he was among a group of kids shooting at each other with fake guns in the woods.

“That’s pretty intense when you’re, like, 4,” he said.

Mr. Stone’s early film career was more a matter of convenience than raw talent. “He was available and I thought he was photogenic,” his dad admitted.

Sean’s parents separated in 1993 (“It was not an easy divorce,” Oliver said), and Sean and his brother Michael lived with Elizabeth. When he could, Oliver took Sean on weekend trips “where he could be outside the normal Los Angeles ‘shop, drive, and die’ routine,” said Oliver.

They also traveled the world, from East Africa to Tibet, where Oliver, an Episcopalian who had converted to Buddhism, introduced the then 9-year-old Sean to the Dalai Lama.

“It’s a different kind of Buddhism, it’s an atomistic form,” Oliver said. “It must have been amazing for him.” The experience was eye-opening, Sean said. It inspired him to take up the practice of meditation and fostered a curiosity about all forms of spirituality. It was also around that time that Sean began to discover his father’s films, each one violent and provocative and dubious about the powers that be.

Mr. Stone was 7 when his father released JFK, a film that brought a mix of reviews both approving and vitriolic. The knocks on his father bothered him at the time, and still do. “Of course it hurts,” he said. “To me it’s a disgrace that so many people get away with calling him a conspiracy theorist, when the truth is he’s always based his work on evidence. He does his homework.”

After graduating from Brentwood School, just around the same time the second Iraq war was getting underway, Mr. Stone considered joining the Army, “more out of a desire to have a life experience,” he said. (Oliver, who dropped out of Yale and eventually enlisted in the Army in 1967, earning a Purple Heart and a Bronze Star for his service in Vietnam, recognized the impulse.) Rather than enlist, Mr. Stone wound up at Princeton, where he enrolled in the ROTC, bailing after a semester to focus on academics.

In 2009, after apprenticing with his father, Sean began to focus on his own filmmaking, starting with Graystone, which will be released on video-on-demand in the fall.

Mr. Stone’s long-term goal is to be a filmmaker, though his father is quick to tamp down expectations. “It’s very hard to assume the mantle, so to speak,” Oliver said. “It’s true about anybody in any profession, whether you’re the stockbroker’s son or a garbage man’s son.”

Mr. Stone agrees that it will be hard to step out from his father’s shadow and make a name for himself, though that new middle name of his is certainly a start.

Even so, his embrace of Islam goes only so far. For instance, Mr. Stone isn’t quite ready to forswear alcohol altogether.

“I know plenty of Christians and Jews who violate the Testaments all the time,” he pointed out. “It all depends on how you practice.”

-Daniel Edward Rosen, "The Son Also Kneels," The Observer, Mar 28 2012

[riverthemessiah]

also,

that line where he says “fuck bill o’reilly”

originally said,

“i’m on a boat,

what the fuck is a lil yachty?”

[whaddahelk]

I’m like a woke Bill O’Reilly and if you FUCK WITH ME, I will go Courtney Love on your ass

[gaypanic97]

Today at lunch:

My visiting aunt who drives me fucking insane: you know gay people don’t want to be called that anymore

My dad: no, they want to be called queer now for some reason.

My mom: just what all do they want? They can get married now—what more do they want?

My grandmother: what is wrong with this world?

My aunt: it’s Nancy Pelosi’s fault. (what)

Me, a closeted lesbian, in this hell where I want to scream at them but also don’t want to expose my gayness:

[t6655321]

[ we’ll do it live. … fuck it. ]

[mermaidenisaacs]

isaac is a soft warm husband pt. 2

isaac unwittingly becomes a househusband to his high-functioning workaholic wife. and he’s a little salty about it.

romance/humor

warnings: graphic sexual language

“You know, when this is over, we should really have angry sex.” 

“Isaac,” I sighed. “You’re not listening to me.” 

Isac reclined further back against the pillows on our bed and crossed his arms over his chest. “I am listening, honey. You’re upset. You’re upset because you think I’m trying to control you. Just because I said I wanted you to stop working so much, you think I’m trying to turn you into an obedient little housewife.” 

“Stop saying ‘you think.’ It’s dismissive. I know these things to be facts.” 

“Do you, love?” The corner of his mouth turned up in a subtle smirk. “I love it when you act like a little know-it-all. It’s such a turn on.” 

“I-saac, stop flirting with me like we’re teenagers. I’m being serious. You knew when you married me that I wasn’t going to be a typical housewife for you. Now all of a sudden, you want me to stay home and stop working?” 

Isaac shook his head. “That’s not what I meant, and I feel like you know that. Will you just come back to bed?” 

It was a tempting offer. The covers were up to Isaac’s waist, and he wasn’t wearing a shirt, and normally I’d have zero reservations about climbing into bed with my husband, but he was trying to distract me and it was not going to work. Not this time.

“No,” I muttered, regretfully tearing my gaze from his sun-kissed chest and the light smattering of hair that covered the hard plane under his stomach, the treasure trail that led to happier places than this conversation. “I’m not getting back in bed until you apologize.” 

I was standing at the foot of the mattress, my hands on my hips. I probably looked like a stern vice principal or something. I felt a little ridiculous but I had to hold my ground. This wasn’t about me. This was about feminism. This was about my right to live my life how I wanted. I was standing up for women everywhere. That’s what I told myself. 

“What exactly do you want me to apologize for?” Isaac asked, too calmly for my liking. “Fine, I’m sorry for noticing that you're basically a workaholic. That you’re always tired and frustrated after you come home from work. Baby, all I did was suggest you should cut back on work, delegate some of your responsibilities to other people.” 

I shook my head. “No, I can’t. I don’t want my boss to think I can’t handle all of it. He already makes sexist jokes about how I’m the first woman he’s ever promoted to my position. Besides, you said you wanted me to stay home, not work less.” 

“That’s the same thing.” 

“No, it’s not.”

“Okay, fine, it’s not. Is it so bad that I want to spend more time with my wife?” 

“We spend time together...” I mumbled, sounding unconvincing even to myself. 

Isaac laughed. “Oh yeah, I get to talk to you five minutes before bed because you pass out right when you get home from the office, which lately has been about 10 pm. Oh, and if I’m lucky I get to talk to you on the weekend in between your 15 minute breaks because you bring the office home with you.” 

I groaned and paced to the other side of the room. “Well, what do you want me to do?! I’m sorry I care about my job!” 

“I get that! I care about my job too, but at least I’m here. And you’re not. I feel like all I ever do is cook and clean and wait for you to get back, holding out some small hope that you might stay awake for just a minute longer so I can share maybe two words with you--that’s if you’re not too tired from crying into my shoulder because you had a bad day at work.” 

“W-well,” I stammered, aimlessly grappling for another line of argument, “so, that’s what this is about? You’re tired of comforting me when I have bad days?” 

“No, of course not--”

“So then, you’d rather I cook and clean, have the house spotless and dinner ready on the table when you get home from work?” Isaac didn’t say anything. A knowing grin spread across his face, accompanied by a playful twinkle in his eyes. He didn’t even have to say anything; at this point, his facial expressions were pissing me off. “Well? What the hell are you smiling about?” 

“I’m not doing this with you anymore,” he said calmly. “I’m not engaging in this because we both know you instigate fights when you’re defensive. And you’re defensive because you know I’m right. You’re trying to spin this into a feminist issue, willfully ignoring my valid points. At this point, you’re just Fox News-ing soundbites to make me sound sexist.” 

I snorted. “Fox News-ing soundbites? Really?” 

“I thought I was talking to my wife, not Bill O’Reilly.” 

“Wowww. You really just called me Bill O’Reilly to my face. Have fun sleeping on the couch tonight.”

Isaac chuckled. 

I stared back, trying to appear unmoved, because it was at this moment that it occurred to me that I was kind of turned on. I was still angry, but now I was horny too. It was a biological response and completely out of my control. It was Isaac’s fault, the way he managed to keep a clear head and stay calm while calling out my bullshit. Not many people could do that. 

It was why I married him. He could put me in my place. I needed that sometimes. Still, I didn’t like admitting I was wrong. 

“You’re only hearing what you want to hear,” he continued. “You’re not listening to what I’m saying, so I’m not arguing with you anymore.” 

“Fine, whatever. You’re the one who brought it up.” I threw my hands up in frustration and headed towards the bedroom door, stopping when he called out my name. 

“Woah, slow down. Where the hell do you think you’re going?” he said.

I turned the knob and opened the door. “Um, I’m leaving? Since you don’t want to talk to me anymore?” 

“This is true. I’m done talking, but you’re not going anywhere.” He tilted his head and looked me up and down. Five years married, I still hadn’t built up an immunity to The Look. 

“Why’s that?” I challenged. My defenses were crumbling with each passing second, my skin burning each time his eyes raked over my body. 

“Because darling, you’re really hot when you’re mad, and having it out with you always turns me on. And I know you’re turned on too, so why don’t we stop talking in circles, and fuck. Now.”  A few moments passed and we stared each other down, both waiting for the other to make the next move. “Come on baby, I can almost taste you from over here. And you look so good standing over there in nothing but panties and my t-shirt. Please come get in this bed with me, Mrs. Lahey.”

Shit. He pulled out the last name card. He knew what that did to me.

 “Dammit,” I muttered, and stormed angrily across our room. I crawled over the mattress to straddle him. I peeled off my t-shirt and his fingers wrapped around my throat, reeling me in for a kiss, gnashing together teeth and tongue. 

“You really know how to get under my skin,” I murmured against his soft mouth, weaving my fingers through his hair to tug on his curls. 

“That's exactly where I intend to be,” he said. 

Isaac’s hands traveled up my thighs and cupped my ass. He roughly squeezed it, then swiftly smacked my ass. I yelped at the unexpected contact, then moaned as he rubbed the stinging area. He spread apart my cheeks and moved aside my underwear. Isaac slipped a finger into my folds and spread my wetness over my clit, circling the bundle of nerves slowly. Whiny little moans started tumbling from my lips. I was mewling and riding his hand. 

“How about you ride my cock? Or are you still mad at me?” he mocked. 

I rolled my eyes, removing the covers from his naked body and putting my fist around his shaft, holding it steady so I could spit on the tip. I spread the slick saliva all over his cock while he fucked my mouth with the fingers he just took out of my pussy. He knew I liked sucking on his fingers. They were long and elegant and pretty and I loved the way they reached the back of my throat. 

I continued to stroke him, albeit needlessly. “Well, that didn't take long,” I observed out loud, staring at his very hard cock. “You must really like it when I'm mad. Do you just piss me off on purpose, honey?” 

Isaac smirked. “Like you’re complaining. You like makeup sex as much as I do. So why don't you stop messing around,” Isaac continued, gently extracting my hand from his cock and lifting my hips so he was positioned at my entrance, “and take me where you really need me?” 

I scoffed. “Me, need you? I think it’s the opposite way around.” 

“Is that so?” He removed his hands from my body altogether, sat back, smirked, and crossed his arms over his chest. I stared back, unimpressed. 

“Really.” I deadpanned. “You’re gonna stop now?” 

Isaac shrugged. “It’s not like I need you.”

I glanced down. “Your raging boner suggests otherwise.” 

“I can take care of that myself.” 

“What, and pass this up? You like your hand more than my body?” Isaac remained unfazed, challenging me with one raised brow. “What was it you were saying earlier? Something about getting under my skin?” I wound my arms around his neck and kissed along his jawline. “Don’t you want to be inside me, baby?” Positioning myself on his thigh, I rode him the way I did the first time we fucked.

It was a while ago, but I still remembered our first time, the way Isaac’s mouth tasted like champagne and vanilla icing when I shoved him against his car, pulled him down by his tie, and kissed him. 

“Remember the first time I rode you like this?” I asked. He grunted an affirmation. Isaac pressed his thumbs into my hip bones and guided my movements. His cocky pretense was gone, replaced by hazy lust. “It was right after Scott and Kira’s wedding. We fucked for the first time that night, and you made me come twice. In a fucking car.”

Isaac groaned. “You were incredible. I wanted you for so long and it finally happened.” 

I let out a heady moan as my clit brushed against his leg in that perfect angle. “You felt so good inside me that night. I love the way you feel inside me, Isaac. Please, baby, I want you so bad, please fuck me...” 

Isaac’s fingers weaved into my hair and he pulled me down to kiss me. “Are you fucking begging me?” In a flurry of movement, Isaac had me on my back, and positioned himself at my entrance. “This what you want?” He slid into me so fast and hard my eyes nearly rolled into the back of my head. 

My back arched away from the mattress, and he wrapped his arm around my torso as he slammed into me relentlessly. “Fuck, how do you always feel so good?” He grunted into my shoulder. Suddenly, he stopped. A whiny little noise escaped my throat. “Turn over. Good girl, now stick your ass out.” He slapped my ass again, leaving it stinging and aching for more. “Higher, just like that. Wanna fuck you just like that...” 

For the second time, Isaac entered me, sheathed hilt-deep in my pussy. Tthe new angle was making it hard to stay on my knees. He put his hand on my hip to hold me in place.

“Isaac, fuck,” I moaned, “I’m gonna come.” 

He leaned down, placing a gentle kiss on my spine. “Good, me too,” he said.

Isaac snaked a hand around my hip and toyed with my clit. All the while he fucked me slow and deep, with his chest against my back, talking filth into my ear. My moans came out in silent mewls. Isaac’s pace was torturously slow. 

“You hate it when I go slow like this, don’t you?” he muttered. “It’s too bad since I like taking my time with you.” 

I could feel my orgasm bubbling up, so close to brimming over. 

“Please, Isaac,” I moaned pathetically. 

“Please, what?”

“Please let me come,” I whined. 

“Shhh, baby, you’ll come soon enough. You’re just gonna have to be a little patient--oh, shit,” he said in response to me clenching around him. “Your pussy feels so fucking good, you’re so wet.” Isaac grabbed a fistful of my hair and pulled, tugged sharply the way I liked it. “Is this what you wanted?” he muttered. He rubbed my clit in quick circles and rutted into me fast and deep. He came before me, and my walls milked out his orgasm before he sent me over the edge. 

I dug my nails into Isaac’s shoulder as my body quivered. The jolts of pleasure continued for a good minute afterwards, and Isaac laid me on my side and cradled my body against him. He cupped my cheek and peppered soft little kisses all over my face. 

“Shh, I got you,” he said softly. 

When I finally came down from the high, in the clarity that followed, it occurred to me that I was no longer mad. 

“I’m sorry,” I said quietly. 

“Don’t be. I told you angry sex would be good.”

I chuckled. “No, I mean that you were right. About all of it. I’ve been working too much. We barely see each other.” 

He kissed my forehead. “S’alright. I just get worried about you. You’re so stressed out all the time. And I miss you.” Isaac moved his fingertips against my back, tracing lazy, comforting circles. 

“I miss you too.” I snuggled deeper into his chest. “I’ll cut back on work. Wanna spend more time with you.”

“Is that right? You’re actually gonna listen to me?” He feigned shock.

I giggled and lightly punched his arm. “Shut up.” I pressed a contented kiss against his chest, right above his beating heart. “Love you,” I mumbled as I dozed off. Isaac’s fingers combed gently through my hair, lulling me into slumber. 

“Love you more.”

fin.

[jarmes]

Hey remember how Bill O’Reilly would go on national television in front of millions of people and list out doctors he wanted his fans to murder and then his fans went out and murdered them?

Make sure you remember that next time some conservative fascist cunt tries to bemoan the death of “civility and peaceful demonstrations”. Republicans killed Roe through decades of terrorist bombings and murders. Fuck them for having the gall to whine when the people they’re firing at shoot back

[spacetrashpile]

Playlists For The Crew Of The Aurora

Jonny D’Ville-Captain First Mate

Track List: One Eyed Jacks-The Mechanisms//Our Boy Jack-The Mechanisms//Elysian Fields-The Mechanisms//House Of The Rising Sun-The Animals//Ship In A Bottle-Steffan Argus//Break My Face-AJR//Maps-The Front Bottoms//No Children-The Mountain Goats//Mama-My Chemical Romance//Laplace’s Angel (Hurt People? Hurt People!)-Will Wood And The Tapeworms//Run Boy Run-Woodkid//Lukewarm-Penelope Scott//O My Heart-Mother Mother//Dirty Imbecile-The Happy Fits//Hoist Up The Thing-The Longest Johns//Little Lion Man-Mumford and Sons

Nastya Rasputina-Engingeer

Track List: Sleeping Beauty-The Mechanisms//My Heart Is Buried In Venice-Ricky Montgomery//Black Dresses-The Builders and The Butchers//Ribs-Lorde//Twin Size Mattress-The Front Bottoms//Be Nice To Me-The Front Bottoms//Runaway-AURORA//Realization That We Are All A Computer Simulation-Emily Axford//Sweet Hibiscus Tea-Penelope Scott//Goodnight My Friend-Galavant//House Of Memories-Panic! At The Disco//Ghosting-Mother Mother//Dead Hearts-Stars//Two Birds-Regina Spektor//Evacuation-Emily Axford

Ashes O’Reilly-Quartermaster

Track List: Lucky Sevens-The Mechanisms//Skin and Bone-The Mechanisms//Underworld Blues-The Mechanisms//Sigyn-The Mechanisms//Ashes-The Longest Johns//Choke-I DON’T KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME//Baxter 3rd Is Under Fucking Seige-Penelope Scott//Who Are You, Really?-Mikky Ekko//Old Number Seven-The Devil Makes Three//The Hand That Feeds-The Crane Wives//Burning Pile-Mother Mother//Everybody Wants To Rule The World-Tears For Fears//The Phoenix-Fall Out Boy//Bottom Of The River-Delta Rae//Absinthe-I DON’T KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME

Drumbot Brian-Pilot

Track List: Lost In The Cosmos-The Mechanisms//The Hanged Man Rusts-The Mechanisms//Stranger-The Mechanisms//creature-half•alive//We’ll Meet Again-Vera Lynn//Cecily Smith-Will Connolly//Karma-AJR//Brightside-Arrested Youth//Hello My Old Heart-The Oh Hellos//Body-Mother Mother//Icarus-Bastille//Silence-Gunpowder Empire//And The Day Goes On-Bill Wurtz//Blue Lips-Regina Spektor//The Call-Regina Spektor

Ivy Alexandria-Archivist

Track List: Laid In Blood-The Mechanisms//The Record Player Song-Daisy The Great//Prom Queen-Beach Bunny//Hammerhead-Penelope Scott//Curses-The Crane Wives//Farewell Wanderlust-The Amazing Devil//In Our Bedroom After The War-Stars//Spaceman-The Killers//Photograph-Gunpowder Empire//Wander. Wonder.-The Arcadian Wild//Thing’s We Lost In The Fire-Bastille//One More Time With Feeling-Regina Spektor//Ghost Adventure Spirit Orb-Chloe Moriondo//By The Time You Get This-They Might Be Giants//The End Of All Things-Panic! At The Disco

The Toy Soldier-??? (friend)

Track List: Gunpowder Tim VS. The Moon Kaiser-The Mechanisms//Rose Red-The Mechanisms//Under My Skin-Jukebox The Ghost//Lavender-Penelope Scott//A Mask Of My Own Face-Lemon Demon//Mr. Loverman-Ricky Montgomery//I Like Giants-Kimya Dawson//La De Da De Da De Da De Day Oh-Bill Wurtz//Long Long Long Journey-Bill Wurtz//Coin-Operated Boy-The Dresden Dolls//The Mermaid’s Revenge-Jessica Law//Carry On-fun.//Our Last Summer-ABBA//Dream Sweet In Sea Major-Miracle Musical//Everything Stays-Olivia Olsen//Pigeon-Cavetown

Gunpowder Tim-Master At Arms

Track List: Gunpowder Tim VS. The Moon Kaiser-The Mechanisms//Once and Future King-The Mechanisms//Riddle Of The Sphinx-The Mechanisms//Loki-The Mechanisms//Stranger-The Mechanisms//Brave As A Noun-AJJ//Wires-The Neighborhood//Volatile Times-IAMX//You Should Know-Penelope Scott//Drink With Me-Les Misérables//The Cruel Wars-The Dreadnoughts//Achilles Come Down-Gang Of Youths//Fly Me To The Moon-Frank Sinatra//Survivor’s Guilt A.K.A. The Moon’s Lament-Emily Axford//Forbidden Forever-Gunpowder Empire//Little Pistol-Mother Mother

“Baron” Marius Von Raum-“Doctor”

Track List: Blood and Whiskey-The Mechanisms//Favored Son-The Mechanisms//Thor-The Mechanisms//Don’t Know How-Ricky Montgomery//Talk To Me-Cavetown//On The Borderline-Thomas Sanders//You Told The Drunls I Knew Karate-Zoey Van Goey//Two-Sleeping At Last//Call Them Brothers-Regina Spektor, Only Son//Clay-Elliotly//Home-Cavetown//Better-The Honeysticks//House Of Gold-Twenty One Pilots//The Devil Went Down To Georgia-The Charlie Daniels Band//No One Is Lost-Stars

Raphaella La Cognizi-Science Officer

Track List: Empty Trail-The Mechanisms//Ties That Bind-The Mechanisms//Odin-The Mechanisms//American Healthcare-Penelope Scott//The Heroine-Unwoman//Sex With A Ghost-Teddy Hyde//Meteor Shower-Cavetown//Tounges and Teeth-The Crane Wives//Call Them Brothers-Regina Spektor, Only Son//Grey Goo-Emily Axford//Wisdom-Mother Mother//Painkiller-Beach Bunny//Half Jack-The Dresden Dolls//Strawberry Blond-Mitski//Third Eye-Florence+The Machine

(Also thank you to @redrobemerle for a ton of song suggestions)

[narrowtriangle33-blog]

Fuck you Tucker Carlson. Racist asshole.

You're a White supremacist asshole, you are a fucking liar pretending to be reasonable, when you're not.

You even had that White Supremacist who wrote the Bell Curve on.

Fuck you and anybody who likes or supports you.

"Carlson claimed that protesters want to “take over your country, cancel your rights, take over our centuries-long tradition of tolerance -- yes, tolerance -- and of free expression.” [Fox News, Tucker Carlson Tonight, 6/9/20]" Centuries of tolerance, fucking lies, Jim Crow didn't end until the 1960's.

"Carlson called for protesters taking down Confederate statues to be labeled “domestic terrorists,” arrested, and paraded “in front of cameras like MS-13.” [Fox News, Tucker Carlson Tonight, 6/25/20]"

Why keep such statues up and oh yeah he defended keeping Christopher Columbus statues up.

"Carlson argued celebrating Juneteenth is more about finding “another way to humiliate and demoralize Americans” than emancipation.[Fox News, Tucker Carlson Tonight, 7/1/20]"

How does this demoralize anybody, first off???? Which Americans are you fucking talking about???????

"The training for learning to fly an airplane isn’t going to change because a Black person or woman is taking it, and there’s no reason to think that non-white men will be given license to fly planes without displaying the knowledge and skill it takes to complete said training. But Carlson—the guy who also doesn’t think women belong in the military, as if the thousands of women who serve in the armed forces wouldn’t likely beat his mother fucking ass—doesn’t believe that because, well, he’s a racist and misogynistic moron."

"Carlson isn’t the only fragile white man who is ignoring the fact that a historic lack of diversity initiatives in the corporate world is the only reason white men think they’re the face of meritocracy. Morgan—the guy who stormed off of a set like a little bitch-baby after being called out for using his platform to give off big incel energy towards Meghan Markle—wrote a whole-ass op-ed piece in response to the United announcement titled, “What’s next for the corporate woke warriors—blind pilots?”"

'Morgan wrote that when it comes to his concerns related to flying, “I certainly don’t care about a pilot’s gender or skin color,” because he clearly doesn’t realize that THIS SHIT ISN’T ABOUT YOU, WHITE MAN—it’s about creating opportunity for women and people of color to get jobs in a white male-dominated field."

"Morgan even went as far as to fake call out a fake double standard and asked why no one is looking to diversify the Black male-dominated NBA. (Yep, British Bill O’Reilly really went there.)"

"The truth is that Carlson, Morgan and every other conservative snowflake who clutches their whites-only pearls at the mere mention of the word “diversity” are just as fragile as they are racist and sexist."

"The world is changing around them and advocating that the corporate world reflect the diversity of the population, and now everything that comes out of their mouths is a variation of: “Won’t somebody please think of the white men?”"

"It’s pathetic, but what else can you expect from people who don’t seem to understand that diversity and meritocracy aren’t mutually exclusive."

“I do not care about their skin color, as long as it is white.”

"You know what you call a black woman who flies a plane, Tucker? A pilot. You racist piece of shit."

"ETA - FWIW, I looked up “Daily UK News,” because I wondered who the hell would publish anything by Morgan. It is not a real newspaper. It is basically a fancy link farm. That explains a lot."

"He does realize during WWII the government probably got people killed because they thought only white men could fly airplanes, right?"

"The guy in the middle was my high school principal Quentin “Q.P.” Smith:

He was a fighter pilot that transitioned over to bombers because he grew too big to fit in the fighters. He and a crap ton of black pilots were arrested because they entered the Officer’s club on base. Thurgood Marshall fought and won their freedom."

"My point is ALL of these men were accomplished pilots with minimum undergrad degrees and many with advance degrees in engineering, mathematics, etc. when lots of the white pilots that were allowed to fly (and enter the O Club) were crop dusters, some with little or no education."

"I didn’t mention the literal quota system that limited the number of black pilots that could graduate because they couldn’t have the black guys outperforming the white guys. The Tuskegee program had to wash out better pilots that were allowed to continue in the white ranks."

"If you want a meritocracy you are looking for diversity. White people, more often than most people of color, have connections and resources that get them opportunities that others do not. If you get more women and POCs up in the air my simple hypothesis is that competence will in no way diminish, and may in fact increase. Hopefully UA actually tests this theory and is not just blowing smoke."

White men didn't create civilization you fucking retard. Calling Iraqi people monkeys is bigoted. He automatically assumes that the CBC blames the White man for everything when that is not true.

[back-and-totheleft]

A pinned butterfly

I recently had a chance to interview one of the most luminary directors of our generation, Oliver Stone. He was in town to talk about his latest film, World Trade Center, but we also got around to why he gave in on the version of Alexander that was released, Bill O’Reilly, his image as a director, and what his next project will NOT be (the Internet rumor mill proves incorrect again).

He walked in, sat down, and looked at the cheese plate in front of him. Stone shook his head ruefully, “I’m not a cheese eater anymore. I’ve turned against the French.” Bye bye cheese. That’s the way it goes when you’re Oliver Stone, big-time director of JFK, Nixon, Any Given Sunday, Platoon, Wall Street… well, you get the idea. He’s directed a lot.

How much of this World Trade Center is completely factual?

Oliver Stone: Well, we have dialogue between people that we don’t know, we have ghosts too. There’s some dramatic license because you’re taking 24 hours and condensing it into two.

Is this a patriotic film?

I hope it’s viewed as a film about people, It’s about America in many ways because it was America that was attacked but if the movie grows the way it should it’s a larger story. It’s about the human heart, survival, how we’re all in it together.

What makes this an Oliver Stone movie, where is your trademark on it?

That’s a tough question to answer. I view myself as changing every picture. This was what it was; there was not a lot of moving camera shots because of the nature of the story. The idea was to concentrate on the lighting throughout the day, darkest when the story is at its bleakest, as hope fades within the families.

The story deals with couples who are very rarely together on screen, was it tough to direct something like that?

Yeah, imagine at the beginning of this process talking to the actors and telling them they were going to be heads in a jar. But no, I wanted to keep it in the Hollywood tradition of a driving narrative, so you could say each of the four actors occupies a quadrant of the movie.

Why did you decide to tell this story?

I decided to because I don’t think we really know the story. We have so politicized 9/11 that we’ve lost track of what the story is. What struck me when I read the script in late 2004 was Ah-ha, I’ve never seen this. It was so fresh and true. It wasn’t like we had to make it up. There were parts that during the screening people thought we had made up, but they were true so we had to re-cut the cards to show people what they were watching was true. It was also the script. My agent read it and said I can’t get this thing out of my mind, I don’t know if it’s going to make a dime, I don’t know that I can even get it financed. I read it and had the same reaction. It was so right on and the irony is I couldn’t get the fucking job; it was another six months before they finally gave it to me.

Can you talk about the set used on this one?

We built it in the old Howard Hughes hangar. Complicated build because of the access. Walking on rubble for an hour is exhausting. I don’t recommend it; well actually maybe we could turn it into a great new aerobic exercise. We could bring people down to a rubble field and make them walk for an hour, maybe make some money.

How much of a collaboration are your projects?

Well it’s not a full democracy because then it would be like the United States Congress. You’d be having God votes every day; you can’t do it that way. But I love working with writers on real subjects. This movie was a technical nightmare to make; I can’t even begin to tell you. Plus all the calls I had to make, where were you, what were you doing? All the equipment alone, all the shit that was going on. And I had to remember it all and change it all when people remembered something else. Even in Vietnam (Platoon) I knew I had to make that movie because I was beginning to forget the details. And everyone sees different points of view too. I did pledge an oath of loyalty to do the movie within the confines and move beyond the cliches. We all paid attention to details.

Are you frustrated with still being the “conspiracy director”?

I feel like a butterfly that’s been pinned. No, I pride myself on keeping at it. I’ve been destroyed a few times, Nixon was painful, Heaven and Earth was a tremendous setback for me because that was a lot of work, a lot of energy. Alexander was probably the biggest visible blotch. Only in America and England I should say, it was top 20 abroad which was significant for me.

Why didn’t you just release the director’s cut of Alexander originally?

I think I had the attitude of "Fuck it." I didn’t want to fight that battle anymore and I did feel it was a structurally correct version.

Did you feel any qualms about being one of the first directors to tackle a 9/11 movie?

I’m glad that Paul Greengrass made his movie. I think it helped break the ice, I think it was an excellent movie. This subject matter should be done in different styles like Vietnam, there’s room for six or eight movies about this that could be very effective. But I’m glad he (Greengrass) helped break that ice though I feel we have a more traditional Hollywood movie here where you get an attachment to four characters.

Is your next project really Son of the Morning Star as listed on IMDB?

That’s not my next project, that’s an old internet factoid, I guess they want me to do that.

Did you make an effort not to stand out on this project?

Yeah, I would have been embarrassed had I stood out. It would be the wrong thing for me to get in the way of the movie but I would say that about every movie I’ve been involved in. I really feel like I’m a chameleon with every movie. I think the problem is I’ve been outspoken politically between the movies and they confuse that with the movies. If you look at JFK and Nixon they defy type. Nixon was attacked by the right wing but it was actually very empathetic towards the humanity of Nixon. JFK was neither left nor right. It’s a question mark, a radical question mark. I consider myself an independent. These political things came about because we live in this climate and it’s hurt the movies, no question. But I have a right to speak out as you do.

This is an apolitical movie though right?

Yes. It’s about the day, their feelings. It was like Platoon in that sense, we didn’t talk about LBJ there.

Is it worth fighting the right wing talk show hosts who have already made up their minds on this one?

I can only say see the movie, I don’t know what to say there, I’ve been a boogey man for them for years, maybe they’ve forgotten about me by now.

Have you been invited on the Bill O’Reilly show?

Oliver Stone: I’ve been invited many times, yeah. Many people tell me it’s a really difficult format to be heard in; I think they ring a bell!

And with that the publicist rang a bell on Ollie’s time with me.

-Laremy Legel, "Oliver Stone Talks ‘World Trade Center’," ComingSoon.net, Aug 2 2006 [x]

[greenhatsinthesky]

lockdown film no. 42 - Bombshell (2019) dir. Jay Roach

02/06/2020

- i just watched a youtube video about Charlize Theron’s makeup and it was so good that they had to put a statement at the beginning saying that all the portrayals in this film are by actors

- I really hated the title card on the lift. come on. give me more

- CASEYBABY

- “Trump has a problem with women” “can you back that up?” “yes” *whacks down The Folder*

- my god this cast is outrageous. I can't recognise Charlize Theron at all; Noah vosen is Nicole Kidman’s lawyer; one of the sisters from a cinderella story works in makeup and bloody Malcolm mcdowell is Rupert Murdoch ?? 

- wow the scene with Rudi bakhtiar when he said he wanted to see the inside of her hotel room and internally she was going “apologise. Make it your fault.” Ow 

- the moment where Kayla was in that guys office and he shuts the blinds and we’re excluded for a millisecond was fucking creepy

- it’s really cool to see Kate McKinnon in a non comedy role. We see her on snl and all these fantastic comedies (some less fantastic but she’s still great) but I hadn’t seen her in a really intense drama before, especially

- oh my god I remember when I first watched this I absolutely lost my mind when Kate mckinnon and Margot Robbie started having a gay time 

- “yes well you have to bring a vibrator from home to the convention. The question is what does a man do with a vibrator?” Their chemistry in this scene I’m literally dead. 

- holland Taylor taking Kayla to see Roger felt an awful lot like Daniel going to the lion’s den. And then Kayla walks in and holland Taylor closes the door and were on the outside again

- first time I watched the scene with Kayla in rogers office when he tells her to pull up her skirt I legitimately thought I was gonna throw up

- it makes me really genuinely upset the amount of women in this film (and absolutely the amount of women in real life) who are apologists for rapists and all round despicable men because they’ve been brainwashed to believe that everything that happens to them in trealtion to men is their fault. Or even if they know its not their fault (see Rudi bakhtiar) they know they have to make the man as comfortable as possible to try and preserve their own safety because there’s no knowing what they would do if you made this person more angry, even though its not their responsibility to monitor someone who’s feelings are their own problem 

- maybe I was just watching it wrong but I felt like the scene where there were different cards with the women talking about what had happened to them could have been much stronger

- i think one fundamental problem with this film is that there are literally no people of colour here at all. We all know fox is racist and so it would likely hire white people at a greater rate than people of colour but I cannot believe it was only white women being harassed in this workplace. As well as this, Kayla is a fictional character. Jess isn’t based on a real person, but someone like her probably existed, and both of their storylines are really interesting. Racist white people have space for people of colour if they aren’t “loud” about their identity and if they can imitate the racism of the white people around them. In the same way that the men in this film have time and space for misogynistic women. I’m just a bit mad that the writers decided to add fictional characters but the only fictional characters are white, in a sea of characters based on real white people. Also, the only talk about race is the bit about father christmas, really ?

- the scene with the news women saying how great Roger is and how they’ve never been told what to wear and how they need trousers because it’s kicking off about a leg cam but they’ve never been fitted for trousers and they’re putting these crazy high heels on their feet with plasters all over the gaff was pretty wild. I liked it. It was very sad

- even on second watch the scene where calls jess and they talk on the phone. Fuck. Robbie’s acting here is outstanding and mckinnon takes it perfectly from having jokes about having a heart attack about bill o’reilly calling her when actually its Kayla to being so supportive about talking to lawyers about what Roger did and why she wasn’t able to help her before all the stuff came out and how her position at her job is so precarious because she’s gay. And then she can tell Kayla’s not ok and she can’t really do anything but she’s there for her as much as she can be. I also appreciate the fact that there isn’t actually a scene in this film where anyone is physically harassed — the scene where Roger tells Kayla to pull her skirt up and the flashback where he goes for megyn is all we get

- it might not have been deliberate but in the scene where Rupert Murdoch says “i hate that its come to this” and Roger says “me too” made me a bit yiKES

- overall I think this is fine, but for a topic so rich its kind of a shame the film isn’t better. I’m not sure what its lacking but I think of other things I’ve seen like the show Mrs. America and how the ending of that absolutely shattered me, and that’s what I wanted from this. The jess/kayla storyline I found to be one of the more engaging things about the film, which like I say is strange in a film with this topic. I don’t know. The acting is good, the makeup and prosthetics are frankly out of this world - it was just a shame to me that other aspects were a bit lacking

[thephantomporg84]

I have complicated feelings about the reboot, it's kind of a shame that it was rewritten after the backlash. It seemed way more interesting than what we got by the 2010 teaser. It'd still be way more grimdark in spirit than DMC but at least it'd probably be better? The protag not being insufferable would be a plus. I wish they at least shared what the original story was. I know that the reboot is an old discussion but it's so clearly the skeleton of what it was planned to be, and it makes me sad

Nah it’s cool! It’s still interesting to bring up — I’m not one of those people who are just... unreasonably nasty about the reboot despite my distaste for it. I pretty much agree. I think there are some good ideas in that game, and that, on a whole, it’s not a terrible video game. It’s just a terrible DMC.

I’m with you, though — I’ve always been curious as to what the original story was, despite my dislike of a dark and gritty DMC as a whole. It’d still be nice to know. I feel like going full grimdark would have been better for the core content of this series versus the pseudo-intellectual conspiracy theory-tinged bullshit the reboot had to offer.

I feel like there are some changes you could make to the reboot as it exists to make it a much more interesting story. It’s... ah. Well. None of this is a great improvement, but just pulling from my memory of that game and a lot of suggestions that others have made for how they’d fix it (I think this has all been compiled once or twice on YouTube as well, for the the most part), this is what I would have done:

From jump street, the infamous succubus scene has to go. That is quite possibly the most cringe thing I have ever sat through in a video game and, to date, it makes my skin crawl thinking about it. Anyway.

Donte always came across, to me, like he’s trying to do an impression of Dante while lacking the original one’s wit.

I think Donte should have turned out to be an imposter. Let him be someone Dante saved or someone that saw Dante at work when they really shouldn’t have. Something like that. A good copycat — like a version of the guy that’s running around ‘wearing hockey pants’ in The Dark Knight.

Leave the sloppier fighting mechanics alone — he’s not trained like Dante and should, as a consequence, be left open and vulnerable a lot.

Real Dante has to keep saving him because of this. A Dante that’s just starting out would easily get fed up with doing this pretty quick and probably go off on Donte. Donte then seeks out demonic power like other DMC villains have done and slowly becomes a villain himself. Donte being delusional and copycatting Dante also could explain the darker depiction of things and the way Limbo works in this game. It makes all the galaxy-brained conspiracy theory bullshit type of vibe the game gives off (to me, at least) make more sense.

Vorgil shouldn’t have been Vergil or even Donte’s sibling — just some conspiracy theory wackadoo that Dante sees as a brother/listens to. Maybe even mistakes him as a missing brother (that he doesn’t even have) because he overheard Dante’s brother Vergil is actually missing or something.

They still plot to assassinate Kyle Ryder (Mundus) and his demon army/overlords or whatever (like the Bill O’Reilly stand-in). That basically stays the same.

At some point though, as they fight their way through these demons, the other shoe drops:

(:

Get to the late stages of the game. Get to Kyle Ryder’s office to kill him. He’s just a greedy fucking pig of a man, but he’s not a demon. Real!Dante shows up around this point to essentially stop a misguided, but ultimately-not-terrible kid from committing what would be a very public execution. Tries to talk him down despite Dante probably not being much older than this dude.

The Bill O’Reilly Clone and whatnot probably had it coming, but a lot of the ‘demons’ killed were just regular people that worked for Ryder or whoever. Not killing ‘Mundus’ still doesn’t just wipe the slate clean for all the domestic terrorism stuff they’ve been doing to satisfy their delusions and crackpot conspiracies up ‘till now.

This makes Dante vs Donte and Dante vs Vorgil the last fights of the game. Maybe Vergil was being manipulative from the sidelines the whole time and that’s the ultimate ending or something. You could end the game on a sinister note and open it up for a sequel or something. I think the original leaves the ending open, too.

Doing all this then changes the tone of the game from this fake-deep, frankly really uninteresting meta commentary on the power behind media and consumerism — which is more than a little hilarious and hypocritical for a $60 USD piece of media for consumerists — to a meta commentary about mental health and the absolutely insane lengths some people will go to (and things they will convince themselves of) in order to commit horribly dispoportionate acts of violence and terror against people whose worldviews and practices they disagree with... something that, ultimately, has a lot more staying power in the current social and political climate we live in. It’s been done before, but I feel like the game would have had more relevancy. And given that Ninja Theory was already planning/working on Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice, they would probably have been more in their element this way.

All that said, though: the mental health message is kind of tired as well, especially in the wrong hands, and the game still woulda been better in its own franchise. Or marketed as an AU/reinvisioning versus a hard reboot.

Also, outside of the actual game: Someone should have muzzled Tameem Antoniades’ stupid ass with a quickness the microinstant he started spewing his unfiltered bullshit. He did more damage to that reboot more than anything in-game ever could have.

[deirdreskye]

i feel like people really don’t appreciate the full extent of how dangerous the pro-life movement really is. Like go look at the wikipedia page for anti-abortion violence, they’re not above just straight-up murdering people in broad daylight, in their homes, in their churches in front of their families. They’re not above bombings.

Where I used to live, Pensacola, Florida, the only clinic in town that provided abortion was bombed twice. A doctor who worked there was murdered, and the doctor who came in to replace him was murdered along with his armed bodyguard. The whole time this was going on, protesters were allowed to demonstrate outside the building this whole time. They were allowed to do this after two bombings, a break-in, and three murders in broad daylight. In other words, the city was pretty much complicit in it. 

Bill O’Reilly railed against Dr. George Tiller on 28 different episodes of his show, calling him a baby murderer on national television until a pro-lifer murdered Dr. Tiller while he was at fucking church. The killer went to prison, but Bill O’Reilly was so obviously guilty of incitement but nothing happened. 

These people view abortion as literally equal to infanticide and I do believe that 99% of pro-lifers, in one way or another, whether they would say it in public or not, believe that murder is justified to prevent women from having access to abortions. 99% of them believe women should be punished for seeking or for having had abortions. The journalist Kevin D. Williamson got fired from the New York Times for tweeting that women who’ve had abortions should be hanged, but really he’s just a rare example of a pro-lifer being completely honest about what he really believes. 

Why treat the pro-life movement as any different from any fascists, neo-nazis, or reactionaries? Their goals, the vision of society they’re working towards building, and the means by which they plan to achieve it certainly aren’t very different! 

[jlf23tumble]

Jen if you're in the mood for a fic rec could you do one that's like about.... mmm well i'm undecided between awkward-bed-sharing turns-into-something-else (with maybe a touch of first time vibes in there) and morning sex in bed (but like the more established relationship kind) .... could you do a bit of a mix? I really love these kind of fics and your recs are always great! (Sorry for the confused request akhfaa)

Oh, mannnnnn, you are killllllin’ me because this is surprisingly difficult??? SO MANY STORIES FIT BOTH THESE BILLS, fuckkkkk, but yeah, I feel ya, I *got* ya, let’s do this, I’m just doing the whole Bill O’Reilly, “fuck it, we’ll do it live” meltdown because I’m probably literally forgetting thousands of epic fics in this, but I don’t want to overthink, so jump with me!

when you say you love me, know i love you more, by darkofthenights/ @jimmytfallon, 2.4k words, E. Louis discovers one of Harry’s insecurities and happily soothes it away. (morning sex, and soft soft soft, god i love this)

took me by the wrist, by orphan_account (cough, cough, Hima), 4.2k words, E. In the moment, everything feels like it’s on fire, but suddenly Louis just feels boneless. He kind of can’t believe that this beautiful boy is all his. Harry looks wrecked but he’s grinning like a criminal, and city lights smile over them both.(morning sex, quiet sobbing, yeah)

Better in Hotel Sheets, by objectlesson/ @alienfuckeronmain, 9.8k words, E.  “Finding some random person to fuck just because I wanna make the best of this bed seems really exhausting,” Harry says. Which is a perfectly normal, acceptable thing to say to one’s best mate. “Wish you and I could just, like…fuck casually instead. Way less exhausting, and you wouldn’t have to sleep with Zayn in sexile,” he adds, which is not, under any circumstance, normal or acceptable. (bed sharing, and just know that I’m gonna rec a few of Phoenix’s, but I’m probably gonna forget a few more because this entire area is her JAM)

shit, i still love you (still see you in my bed), by wankerville, 11k words, general audience (lmaoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo). Harry hums, tugging his bottom lip between his teeth, “I want daddy to fuck me in the gold booties he got me for my birthday.” or, it’s valentine’s day and harry wants to be fucked in his gold boots (morning sex and gold boots and god i love wankerville so goddamned MUCH)

Alien Roadtrip!, by @helloamhere, 16k words, E (needs ao3). For the first time in his life, Louis doesn’t know where he’s going. Harry doesn’t mind. OR: roadtrip with desert feelings, too much snack food, and empty motels. Harry is definitely absolutely not an alien. That would be ridiculous. (bed sharing in desert motels, even though it isn’t strictly necessary, and I know I rec this one a LOT, but the dialogue is so SPARKY)

You Drive Me Crazy (I Just Can’t Sleep), by objectlesson/ @alienfuckeronmain, 18k words, E. The first time Louis ends up in Harry’s bed is a total accident. (bed sharing, and this is so fucking CANON, bb, and yeah, her jam)

Once Upon a Dream, by objectlesson/ @alienfuckeronmain, 26k words, E. “M’not gonna half-ass our fake relationship,” Louis almost snaps, voice sharp with a defensive edge, like Harry wandered too close to a bruise with needy fingers. “Now kiss me again. We’re gonna make every shitty tourist here wish they had stayed in the Midwest. We’re gonna burn Disneyland down with our gay. ”Harry shuts his eyes and opens his mouth, because he can’t fucking say no to Louis. Or, a fake dating AU where everyone is lying and they happen to be at the Happiest Place on Earth. (bed sharing, and this was a gift for me over a year ago, and I STILL THINK ABOUT IT anytime I meet up with Phoenix and Blake at the Disney tiki bar)

Find You Home, by @kingsofeverything, 35k words, E. When Louis lies to his family and says he’ll bring his new boyfriend home for Christmas, his best friend and roommate Harry agrees to play the part. It’s that, or be left alone over the holidays. What will happen? (bed sharing, that’s what!! i think Lauren’s written more than one of these, but yeah!)

knock knock, i love you, by beautlouis/ @thelovejandles, 86k words, E. Harry and Louis get kicked out of a statistics exam for passing a knock knock joke note, and subsequently fall in love. Harry’s a virgin, there’s a cat, a hot cocoa date, a lot of sex, even more knock knock jokes, and everything is lovely and happy. (morning sex, but just in general, a very sweet hot hot hot fic I love to the moon and back; i just reread it because i kept going on and ON about it with @pattern-pals, who fell in love, too)

Untangle Me, by suicxene, 103k words, E. It’s not like Louis can pinpoint the exact moment in time when him and Harry fell out of sync. There wasn’t really one at all. It had been a gradual slip, like the tide wearing away at a sandstone cliff. LA only seems to accentuate the distance between them. Two separate planets, not even in the same solar system. Or the one where Harry and Louis finally get it right. (morning sex, and one of the first fics I read in this fandom)

Escapade, by dolce_piccante, 146k words, E (needs ao3 account). Listen, everyone has rec’d this and has feelings about it, so I won’t even give the description, lmao, but yeah, bed sharing, wildly assuming you haven’t already read it!