#and then any songs they sing it that i deemed as their iconic songs

[cels-not-so-secret-love-affair]

play that funky music (the marauders & co)

a/n: james potter the icon that you are. i seem to recall this being based on a tiktok i was sent, which i can’t for the life of me find. i’ll keep looking, but if you can remember seeing a tiktok that specifically had james singing this song and can pass it my way, i will be forever in your debt.

It’s a late night in the Gryffindor common room. Remus is settled comfortably in his usual armchair by the record player, smiling fondly at his friends. Both the boys and the girls have braved detention to blast their music. The pick of the night is funk, and a few swigs of fire whiskey seem to have loosened everyone up considerably. They’ve pushed the stout wooden coffee table aside too, to make room for an impromptu dance party, and everyone’s up and moving.

Lily grins as she sways from side to side, winking at Mary who’s dancing in a way that Remus is sure would be deemed wildly inappropriate anywhere outside of right here right now, and having the time of her life. Marlene has broken out the dad dancing, and is throwing finger guns out left, right and centre. Sirius looks gorgeous as always (honestly, did he ever look anything less?). But James, well, James is in his element. It’s as if the bass line is his own creation. As if he was made in the same breath as the music, brought alive by the same clever hands. He shimmies and rolls his hips like it’s the only thing that matters in the world.

The music picks up, transitioning into a clap-your-hands style bridge. Eyes alight with mirth, James whips around to catch Remus’ eye, like he’s got a joke in mind. Then, along with the drum fill, he throws out a hand, pointing at Remus just in time to mouth the lyrics through his grin.

Play that funky music, white boy

Play that funky music right

Play that funky music, white boy

Lay down the boogie and play that funky music ‘til you die

Remus scoffs, laughing at his ludicrousness. But then James has caught his hand, and is yanking him up onto his feet.

‘No. No, Prongs, I’ve told you I absolutely do not dance.’

‘Oh, give over, Moony, this is your anthem!’

So now, against all protesting, Remus John Lupin is up in the Gryffindor common room, dancing. He’s too gangly and uncoordinated to make it look any good, but it is, surprisingly, rather fun. And of course, James’ energy is electric. They didn’t call him the life of the party for nothing. He looks bloody ecstatic that he’s persuaded his favourite DJ into joining him on the dance floor, and starts busting out his moves with double the enthusiasm. Behind him, Lily is whooping and clapping, and Mary is smiling wide and true like this is the happiest she’s ever been. Even Peter is delighted. Then, a hand around his waist.

‘Now, how come you never dance when I ask?’, Sirius asks him.

‘Your competition is oddly persuasive.’

‘I see how it is. You’re playing favourites. Always knew you had a secret soft spot for James.’

Remus laughs again, louder this time, and relishes in the gorgeous canine grin it draws out of Sirius.

‘Just dance with me, love.’

[eurovision-revisited]

Eurovision 2005 - Number 6 - Helena Paparizou - "My Number One"

Here she is again, and for her crowning moment in Eurovision history. She'd already finished third in 2001 with Antique, and for 2005, ERT had decided that what they needed was a proven success for Greece. To that end, the changed their selection process from a national final to a song selection final in which Helena was to sing four songs and the public got to chose which was the best.

I strongly dislike song selection finals. It's the worst of both worlds. There's already been an internal selection. If they've chosen the wrong artist, nothing can be altered. Then you're relying on the public to chose the best song - and there's a reason several countries are increasingly choosing internal selection. The public can't often be trusted to make a good decision.

In this case, however, Helena is a proven Eurovision artists, who can sing, perform, and who fits perfectly the genre du jour, the girl-bop. She is the boppiest girl around. It had taken a while to confirm her as the selected artists as it seems other names were in contention who had demands that ERT deemed unreasonable. In the end, even if Helena hadn't been the number one choice, she was the correct one.

The song that won the selection was, appropriately, My Number One written by Christos Dantis, Manos Psaltakis and with lyrics by Christos and Natalia Germanou. Three song-writers with some music industry experience but no Eurovision pedigree. It had to beat only two others songs as one of the four songs she was supposed to perform was disqualified before the final. The song-writer had already released a version on Amazon prior the cut-off date, thus breaking the hallowed rules of Eurovision.

In fact none of the songs Helena had been given had any writers with Eurovision experience. The songs had come from an open submission process and were selected not just by ERT, but also in conjunction with Sony BMG. The music industry were continuing to find Eurovision to be an opportunity they couldn't ignore.

There is one other magic factor that led to Helena and Greece's success. The staging. One of the reasons that the girl bops dominated from 2003-2005 was the bopping part. They needed choreography and staging. They weren't content to stand in front of microphones and sing. Dancing, costuming, lighting and camera movement were just as important. Here Greece used Fokas Evangelinos, who had first directed Greece's Eurovision entry the year before. He knew what he was doing and would go on to have a very lengthy career as a Eurovision stage director.

What Helena, Ruslana and Sertab proved was that you needed something else besides just a voice and a song. They could all sing while performing increasingly energetic and elaborate choreography. If you were a rock band and wanted to win Eurovision, you were going need something else, something extra...

The song itself is perhaps the most ideal example of the combination between pop and traditional and ethnic sounds. Here it's not just in the instrumentation chosen, but also the dance moves in the staging. That Helena and Greece share the same name origins only makes it more perfect - even if she is Swedish.

When it came to the scoreboard, it wasn't that close. This was no 2003 with a dramatic conclusion. There had been boos for some acts, but they weren't in the running this year. Greece won its first ever Eurovision maintaining the streak of first time winners that stretched back to 2001.

Helena is Eurovision icon - she's had a long and highly successful career with Europe wide-touring, eleven albums, nearly seventy singles, the most recent two of which were released this year (2024). She has been rumoured to return on other occasions including the possibility that she would have sung Fuego for Cyprus in 2018. She also entered Melfest in 2014.

Here's one of her more recent singles, form 2023, Δε Μου Τα Λέει Καλά. She's still got it.

[spacetrashpile]

Playlists For The Crew Of The Aurora

Jonny D’Ville-Captain First Mate

Track List: One Eyed Jacks-The Mechanisms//Our Boy Jack-The Mechanisms//Elysian Fields-The Mechanisms//House Of The Rising Sun-The Animals//Ship In A Bottle-Steffan Argus//Break My Face-AJR//Maps-The Front Bottoms//No Children-The Mountain Goats//Mama-My Chemical Romance//Laplace’s Angel (Hurt People? Hurt People!)-Will Wood And The Tapeworms//Run Boy Run-Woodkid//Lukewarm-Penelope Scott//O My Heart-Mother Mother//Dirty Imbecile-The Happy Fits//Hoist Up The Thing-The Longest Johns//Little Lion Man-Mumford and Sons

Nastya Rasputina-Engingeer

Track List: Sleeping Beauty-The Mechanisms//My Heart Is Buried In Venice-Ricky Montgomery//Black Dresses-The Builders and The Butchers//Ribs-Lorde//Twin Size Mattress-The Front Bottoms//Be Nice To Me-The Front Bottoms//Runaway-AURORA//Realization That We Are All A Computer Simulation-Emily Axford//Sweet Hibiscus Tea-Penelope Scott//Goodnight My Friend-Galavant//House Of Memories-Panic! At The Disco//Ghosting-Mother Mother//Dead Hearts-Stars//Two Birds-Regina Spektor//Evacuation-Emily Axford

Ashes O’Reilly-Quartermaster

Track List: Lucky Sevens-The Mechanisms//Skin and Bone-The Mechanisms//Underworld Blues-The Mechanisms//Sigyn-The Mechanisms//Ashes-The Longest Johns//Choke-I DON’T KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME//Baxter 3rd Is Under Fucking Seige-Penelope Scott//Who Are You, Really?-Mikky Ekko//Old Number Seven-The Devil Makes Three//The Hand That Feeds-The Crane Wives//Burning Pile-Mother Mother//Everybody Wants To Rule The World-Tears For Fears//The Phoenix-Fall Out Boy//Bottom Of The River-Delta Rae//Absinthe-I DON’T KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME

Drumbot Brian-Pilot

Track List: Lost In The Cosmos-The Mechanisms//The Hanged Man Rusts-The Mechanisms//Stranger-The Mechanisms//creature-half•alive//We’ll Meet Again-Vera Lynn//Cecily Smith-Will Connolly//Karma-AJR//Brightside-Arrested Youth//Hello My Old Heart-The Oh Hellos//Body-Mother Mother//Icarus-Bastille//Silence-Gunpowder Empire//And The Day Goes On-Bill Wurtz//Blue Lips-Regina Spektor//The Call-Regina Spektor

Ivy Alexandria-Archivist

Track List: Laid In Blood-The Mechanisms//The Record Player Song-Daisy The Great//Prom Queen-Beach Bunny//Hammerhead-Penelope Scott//Curses-The Crane Wives//Farewell Wanderlust-The Amazing Devil//In Our Bedroom After The War-Stars//Spaceman-The Killers//Photograph-Gunpowder Empire//Wander. Wonder.-The Arcadian Wild//Thing’s We Lost In The Fire-Bastille//One More Time With Feeling-Regina Spektor//Ghost Adventure Spirit Orb-Chloe Moriondo//By The Time You Get This-They Might Be Giants//The End Of All Things-Panic! At The Disco

The Toy Soldier-??? (friend)

Track List: Gunpowder Tim VS. The Moon Kaiser-The Mechanisms//Rose Red-The Mechanisms//Under My Skin-Jukebox The Ghost//Lavender-Penelope Scott//A Mask Of My Own Face-Lemon Demon//Mr. Loverman-Ricky Montgomery//I Like Giants-Kimya Dawson//La De Da De Da De Da De Day Oh-Bill Wurtz//Long Long Long Journey-Bill Wurtz//Coin-Operated Boy-The Dresden Dolls//The Mermaid’s Revenge-Jessica Law//Carry On-fun.//Our Last Summer-ABBA//Dream Sweet In Sea Major-Miracle Musical//Everything Stays-Olivia Olsen//Pigeon-Cavetown

Gunpowder Tim-Master At Arms

Track List: Gunpowder Tim VS. The Moon Kaiser-The Mechanisms//Once and Future King-The Mechanisms//Riddle Of The Sphinx-The Mechanisms//Loki-The Mechanisms//Stranger-The Mechanisms//Brave As A Noun-AJJ//Wires-The Neighborhood//Volatile Times-IAMX//You Should Know-Penelope Scott//Drink With Me-Les Misérables//The Cruel Wars-The Dreadnoughts//Achilles Come Down-Gang Of Youths//Fly Me To The Moon-Frank Sinatra//Survivor’s Guilt A.K.A. The Moon’s Lament-Emily Axford//Forbidden Forever-Gunpowder Empire//Little Pistol-Mother Mother

“Baron” Marius Von Raum-“Doctor”

Track List: Blood and Whiskey-The Mechanisms//Favored Son-The Mechanisms//Thor-The Mechanisms//Don’t Know How-Ricky Montgomery//Talk To Me-Cavetown//On The Borderline-Thomas Sanders//You Told The Drunls I Knew Karate-Zoey Van Goey//Two-Sleeping At Last//Call Them Brothers-Regina Spektor, Only Son//Clay-Elliotly//Home-Cavetown//Better-The Honeysticks//House Of Gold-Twenty One Pilots//The Devil Went Down To Georgia-The Charlie Daniels Band//No One Is Lost-Stars

Raphaella La Cognizi-Science Officer

Track List: Empty Trail-The Mechanisms//Ties That Bind-The Mechanisms//Odin-The Mechanisms//American Healthcare-Penelope Scott//The Heroine-Unwoman//Sex With A Ghost-Teddy Hyde//Meteor Shower-Cavetown//Tounges and Teeth-The Crane Wives//Call Them Brothers-Regina Spektor, Only Son//Grey Goo-Emily Axford//Wisdom-Mother Mother//Painkiller-Beach Bunny//Half Jack-The Dresden Dolls//Strawberry Blond-Mitski//Third Eye-Florence+The Machine

(Also thank you to @redrobemerle for a ton of song suggestions)

[kuroosweakness]

Lia, your Kuroo headcanon are literally the only thing keeping me sane right now. He’s such a comfort character of mine. Before I really got into Haikyuu and started it, I thought Kuroo was super cute. Then I saw his personality and he was the second character I fell in love with. Here’s some headcanons for your service :)

If you drink coffee or tea, he has the way you make it down to an art. He knows exactly how you like it, but somehow his is better. He’s doesn’t add or lessen anything, he claims it’s because it’s made with love (he’s so cheesy I swear)

I firmly believe he quotes pride and prejudice. He’ll recite the iconic love confession from the movie at the most random times. One time it was while you were in the bathroom, he has no shame

If he notices you’re listening to a certain song over and over, he’ll add it to his secret playlist named after you

I think he would coordinate outfits. Instead of matching, it’d be opposite. For example, you’re wearing green pants and a brown shirt, Kuroo has on brown pants and a green shirt (this also applies to attending parties post timeskip, he 100% subtly matches you)

He actually knows how to do laundry, and if you’re busy or out of your shared apartment he’ll clean, fold, and put away your clothes. It’s something simple that he enjoys doing, and he knows it’ll help

When you’re stressed over school/work, he always brings you hot tea (or your favorite drink, Kuroo prefers un-caffeinated drinks at night) and gives you a kiss on the temple. I’m talking, lips on your temple for a GOOD 5 seconds before he deems it good enough to step away. He’ll also drape a blanket across your shoulders, even if it isn’t cold

He steals your stuff, you steal his. It’s only fair.

Kenma bought Kuroo a rooster plushie as a joke, but it was actually super cute so he kept it. Kuroo then buys an animal plushie that reminded him of you. You keep the rooster, and he keeps your animal when you’re away. Yes, even as full grown married adults he brings the plushie to business trips

I feel like Kuroo would want to wear an engagement ring too, everyone would assume he’s married because men don’t typically wear them; he likes that it’s unconventional, but a good kind

Always touching you when you sleep. Canonly he sleeps with two pillows smooshing his head, but he’ll keep an arm extended that’s loosely around you. Or he’ll have your butts touching, or his leg against your leg etc. (personally, I like my sleeping headcanon of Kuroo because it incorporates how he legitimately sleeps. But if you need it, he’ll 100% hold you or cuddle you however you want)

I feel like he’d want to shower with you. After dating for a long time, he’ll be a little stiff but eventually he loves it. He’ll come up behind you, wraps his arms around you and put his chin on your shoulder. Sometimes he’ll play music, he’ll serenade you with the periodic table song and other love classics like “can’t take my eyes off you”

He reads to you, he’s sitting against the headboard with you laying between his legs. Back against his chest, lowly speaking into your ear. He also LOVES when you read to him. Depending on your sitting situation, the cuddling positions will differ. But he’s always in front of you

“Everybody talks” reminds me of him. This song was playing when I was in the car with my friend, windows down, sunny gorgeous day. You guys would dance and sing to this together, it’d play at your wedding

His love for you NEVER falters. No matter what age you started dating, his eyes are always filled to the brim and exploding with love and admiration

I WENT NUTS IM SO SORRY THEY JUST KEPT COMING. CAN YOU TELL IM IN LOVE WITH THIS MAN SO BADLY. ANWAYS HAVE A GREAT DAY/NIGHT I LOVE YOUR WRITING YOURE REALLY COOL :)

OMG !! LOOK AT ALL THESE HEADCANONS 😭 (i just know i’ll come back and reread while being all giddy :’D thank you so so much for sending and typing these out, ur my savior <33 

ahhhh i thought kuroo was an okay side-character at first but now here i am, making my whole blog dedicated around him lmaoo 

“made with love” HE WOULD BE THE CHEESIEST GUY EVER (not that anyone’s complaining, of course) 

omgg him quoting pride and prejudice??? lemme collective my heart jdkslfkjdf “in the bathroom” he has zero shame lmaoo 

him making a whole playlist dedicated to you :(( and when he hasn’t heard you listen to a song in a while, he’ll be like “remember when you used to listen to...” 

COORDINATED OUTFITS >>> 

YES YES YES 

him helping you out with chores :’ he’s so genuine and sweet i swear- 

make it more than 5 seconds pretty pls <33 (thanks for the scenario that’ll run in my head everytime i study now-) 

equality. sharing is caring. 

OMG THE PLUSHIE PART !!!!! 😫🥺 pls your headcanons are making me so happy yet sad at the same time- what are these strong emotions i’m feeling :’ 

him wearing his engagement ring >>>>>>>> (and so everytime he looks at his hand, it’s a small pleasant reminder of you) 

showers with him would be so light-hearted and intimate :’ IMAGINE HIM SHAMPOOING YOUR HAIR bye- 

yes, pls serenade us <3 

touching when asleep next to each other!!!!! pls he would lay his whole leg on you and not claim to be responsible when you wake up half numb- 

i love your headcanon too!!!! incorporating canon stuff into headcanons >>> you can link pinkies with him when sleeping <3 

him reading to you while cuddling D: words can’t describe how jealous i am of y/n 

OMG YES EVERYBODY TALKS DEFINITELY GIVES OFF KUROO VIBES pls he would dance and sing with you in front of the bathroom mirror for hours :’ 

IT’S YOUR HAPPY SONG! 

and now my heart feels really warm and fuzzy :’ i want to hop straight to bed for these scenarios to pop up in my dream. again, thank you so much for sending all these in, I LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM (and am jealous of every single one of them) if you have more, pls pls send them in at ANY TIME of the day !! 

i hope you have the best day >:( and make sure to take care of yourself! <3 

[dongfangxunfeng]

what do you think of the whole actor in shrine situation? is this why you're moving away from s/h//l?

lol

A medieval fisherman is said to have hauled up a three-foot-long cod, which was common enough at the time. And the fact that the cod could talk was not especially surprising. But what was astonishing was that it spoke an unknown language. It spoke Basque.

This Basque folktale shows not only the Basque attachment to their orphan language, indecipherable to the rest of the world, but also their tie to the Atlantic cod, Gadus morhua, a fish that has never been found in Basque or even Spanish waters.

The Basques are enigmatic. They have lived in what is now the northwest corner of Spain and a nick of the French southwest for longer than history records, and not only is the origin of their language unknown, but the origin of the people themselves remains a mystery also. According to one theory, these rosy-cheeked, dark-haired, long-nosed people were the original Iberians, driven by invaders to this mountainous corner between the Pyrenees, the Cantabrian Sierra, and the Bay of Biscay. Or they may be indigenous to this area.

They graze sheep on impossibly steep, green slopes of mountains that are thrilling in their rare, rugged beauty. They sing their own songs and write their own literature in their own language, Euskera. Possibly Europe’s oldest living language, Euskera is one of only four European languages—along with Estonian, Finnish, and Hungarian—not in the Indo-European family. They also have their own sports, most notably jai alai, and even their own hat, the Basque beret, which is bigger than any other beret.

Though their lands currently reside in three provinces of France and four of Spain, Basques have always insisted that they have a country, and they call it Euskadi. All the powerful peoples around them—the Celts and Romans, the royal houses of Aquitaine, Navarra, Aragon, and Castile; later Spanish and French monarchies, dictatorships, and republics—have tried to subdue and assimilate them, and all have failed. In the 1960s, at a time when their ancient language was only whispered, having been outlawed by the dictator Francisco Franco, they secretly modernized it to broaden its usage, and today, with only 800,000 Basque speakers in the world, almost 1,000 titles a year are published in Euskera, nearly a third by Basque writers and the rest translations.

“Nire aitaren etxea / defendituko dut. / Otsoen kontra” (I will defend / the house of my father. / Against the wolves) are the opening lines of a famous poem in modern Euskera by Gabriel Aresti, one of the fathers of the modernized tongue. Basques have been able to maintain this stubborn independence, despite repression and wars, because they have managed to preserve a strong economy throughout the centuries. Not only are Basques shepherds, but they are also a seafaring people, noted for their successes in commerce. During the Middle Ages, when Europeans ate great quantities of whale meat, the Basques traveled to distant unknown waters and brought back whale. They were able to travel such distances because they had found huge schools of cod and salted their catch, giving them a nutritious food supply that would not spoil on long voyages.

Basques were not the first to cure cod. Centuries earlier, the Vikings had traveled from Norway to Iceland to Greenland to Canada, and it is not a coincidence that this is the exact range of the Atlantic cod. In the tenth century, Thorwald and his wayward son, Erik the Red, having been thrown out of Norway for murder, traveled to Iceland, where they killed more people and were again expelled. About the year 985, they put to sea from the black lava shore of Iceland with a small crew on a little open ship. Even in midsummer, when the days are almost without nightfall, the sea there is gray and kicks up whitecaps. But with sails and oars, the small band made it to a land of glaciers and rocks, where the water was treacherous with icebergs that glowed robin’s-egg blue. In the spring and summer, chunks broke off the glaciers, crashed into the sea with a sound like thunder that echoed in the fjords, and sent out huge waves. Eirik, hoping to colonize this land, tried to enhance its appeal by naming it Greenland.

Almost 1,000 years later, New England whalers would sing: “Oh, Greenland is a barren place / a place that bears no green / Where there’s ice and snow / and the whale fishes blow / But daylight’s seldom seen.”

Eirik colonized this inhospitable land and then tried to push on to new discoveries. But he injured his foot and had to be left behind. His son, Leifur, later known as Leif Eiriksson, sailed on to a place he called Stoneland, which was probably the rocky, barren Labrador coast. “I saw not one cartload of earth, though I landed many places,” Jacques Cartier would write of this coast six centuries later. From there, Leif’s men turned south to “Woodland” and then “Vineland.” The identity of these places is not certain. Woodland could have been Newfoundland, Nova Scotia, or Maine, all three of which are wooded. But in Vineland they found wild grapes, which no one else has discovered in any of these places.

The remains of a Viking camp have been found in Newfoundland. It is perhaps in that gentler land that the Vikings were greeted by inhabitants they found so violent and hostile that they deemed settlement impossible, a striking assessment to come from a people who had been regularly banished for the habit of murdering people. More than 500 years later the Beothuk tribe of Newfoundland would prevent John Cabot from exploring beyond crossbow range of his ship. The Beothuk apparently did not misjudge Europeans, since soon after Cabot, they were enslaved by the Portuguese, driven inland, hunted by the French and English, and exterminated in a matter of decades.

How did the Vikings survive in greenless Greenland and earthless Stoneland? How did they have enough provisions to push on to Woodland and Vineland, where they dared not go inland to gather food, and yet they still had enough food to get back? What did these Norsemen eat on the five expeditions to America between 985 and 1011 that have been recorded in the Icelandic sagas? They were able to travel to all these distant, barren shores because they had learned to preserve codfish by hanging it in the frosty winter air until it lost four-fifths of its weight and became a durable woodlike plank. They could break off pieces and chew them, eating it like hardtack. Even earlier than Eirik’s day, in the ninth century, Norsemen had already established plants for processing dried cod in Iceland and Norway and were trading the surplus in northern Europe.

The Basques, unlike the Vikings, had salt, and because fish that was salted before drying lasted longer, the Basques could travel even farther than the Vikings. They had another advantage: The more durable a product, the easier it is to trade. By the year 1000, the Basques had greatly expanded the cod markets to a truly international trade that reached far from the cod’s northern habitat.

In the Mediterranean world, where there were not only salt deposits but a strong enough sun to dry sea salt, salting to preserve food was not a new idea. In preclassical times, Egyptians and Romans had salted fish and developed a thriving trade. Salted meats were popular, and Roman Gaul had been famous for salted and smoked hams. Before they turned to cod, the Basques had sometimes salted whale meat; salt whale was found to be good with peas, and the most prized part of the whale, the tongue, was also often salted.

Until the twentieth-century refrigerator, spoiled food had been a chronic curse and severely limited trade in many products, especially fish. When the Basque whalers applied to cod the salting techniques they were using on whale, they discovered a particularly good marriage because the cod is virtually without fat, and so if salted and dried well, would rarely spoil. It would outlast whale, which is red meat, and it would outlast herring, a fatty fish that became a popular salted item of the northern countries in the Middle Ages.

Even dried salted cod will turn if kept long enough in hot humid weather. But for the Middle Ages it was remarkably long-lasting—a miracle comparable to the discovery of the fast-freezing process in the twentieth century, which also debuted with cod. Not only did cod last longer than other salted fish, but it tasted better too. Once dried or salted—or both—and then properly restored through soaking, this fish presents a flaky flesh that to many tastes, even in the modern age of refrigeration, is far superior to the bland white meat of fresh cod. For the poor who could rarely afford fresh fish, it was cheap, high-quality nutrition.

In 1606, Gudbrandur Thorláksson, an Icelandic bishop, made this line drawing of the North Atlantic in which Greenland is represented in the shape of a dragon with a fierce, toothy mouth. Modern maps show that this is not at all the shape of Greenland, but it is exactly what it looks like from the southern fjords, which cut jagged gashes miles deep into the high mountains. (Royal Library, Copenhagen)

Catholicism gave the Basques their great opportunity. The medieval church imposed fast days on which sexual intercourse and the eating of flesh were forbidden, but eating “cold” foods was permitted. Because fish came from water, it was deemed cold, as were waterfowl and whale, but meat was considered hot food. The Basques were already selling whale meat to Catholics on “lean days,” which, since Friday was the day of Christ’s crucifixion, included all Fridays, the forty days of Lent, and various other days of note on the religious calendar. In total, meat was forbidden for almost half the days of the year, and those lean days eventually became salt cod days. Cod became almost a religious icon—a mythological crusader for Christian observance.

The Basques were getting richer every Friday. But where was all this cod coming from? The Basques, who had never even said where they came from, kept their secret. By the fifteenth century, this was no longer easy to do, because cod had become widely recognized as a highly profitable commodity and commercial interests around Europe were looking for new cod grounds. There were cod off of Iceland and in the North Sea, but the Scandinavians, who had been fishing cod in those waters for thousands of years, had not seen the Basques. The British, who had been fishing for cod well offshore since Roman times, did not run across Basque fishermen even in the fourteenth century, when British fishermen began venturing up to Icelandic waters. The Bretons, who tried to follow the Basques, began talking of a land across the sea.

Bench ends from St. Nicolas’ Chapel in a town by the North Sea, King’s Lynn, Norfolk, England, carved circa 1415, depict the cod fishery. (Victoria and Albert Museum, London)

In the 1480s, a conflict was brewing between Bristol merchants and the Hanseatic League. The league had been formed in thirteenth-century Lübeck to regulate trade and stand up for the interests of the merchant class in northern German towns. Hanse means “fellowship” in Middle High German. This fellowship organized town by town and spread throughout northern Europe, including London. By controlling the mouths of all the major rivers that ran north from central Europe, from the Rhine to the Vistula, the league was able to control much of European trade and especially Baltic trade. By the fourteenth century, it had chapters as far north as Iceland, as far east as Riga, south to the Ukraine, and west to Venice.

For many years, the league was seen as a positive force in northern Europe. It stood up against the abuses of monarchs, stopped piracy, dredged channels, and built lighthouses. In England, league members were called Easterlings because they came from the east, and their good reputation is reflected in the word sterling, which comes from Easterling and means “of assured value.”

But the league grew increasingly abusive of its power and ruthless in defense of trade monopolies. In 1381, mobs rose up in England and hunted down Hanseatics, killing anyone who could not say bread and cheese with an English accent.

The Hanseatics monopolized the Baltic herring trade and in the fifteenth century attempted to do the same with dried cod. By then, dried cod had become an important product in Bristol. Bristol’s well-protected but difficult-to-navigate harbor had greatly expanded as a trade center because of its location between Iceland and the Mediterranean. It had become a leading port for dried cod from Iceland and wine, especially sherry, from Spain. But in 1475, the Hanseatic League cut off Bristol merchants from buying Icelandic cod.

Thomas Croft, a wealthy Bristol customs official, trying to find a new source of cod, went into partnership with John Jay, a Bristol merchant who had what was at the time a Bristol obsession: He believed that somewhere in the Atlantic was an island called Hy-Brasil. In 1480, Jay sent his first ship in search of this island, which he hoped would offer a new fishing base for cod. In 1481, Jay and Croft outfitted two more ships, the Trinity and the George. No record exists of the result of this enterprise. Croft and Jay were as silent as the Basques. They made no announcement of the discovery of Hy-Brasil, and history has written off the voyage as a failure. But they did find enough cod so that in 1490, when the Hanseatic League offered to negotiate to reopen the Iceland trade, Croft and Jay simply weren’t interested anymore.

Where was their cod coming from? It arrived in Bristol dried, and drying cannot be done on a ship deck. Since their ships sailed out of the Bristol Channel and traveled far west of Ireland and there was no land for drying fish west of Ireland—Jay had still not found Hy-Brasil—it was suppposed that Croft and Jay were buying the fish somewhere. Since it was illegal for a customs official to engage in foreign trade, Croft was prosecuted. Claiming that he had gotten the cod far out in the Atlantic, he was acquitted without any secrets being revealed.

To the glee of the British press, a letter has recently been discovered. The letter had been sent to Christopher Columbus, a decade after the Croft affair in Bristol, while Columbus was taking bows for his discovery of America. The letter, from Bristol merchants, alleged that he knew perfectly well that they had been to America already. It is not known if Columbus ever replied. He didn’t need to. Fishermen were keeping their secrets, while explorers were telling the world. Columbus had claimed the entire new world for Spain.

Then, in 1497, five years after Columbus first stumbled across the Caribbean while searching for a westward route to the spice-producing lands of Asia, Giovanni Caboto sailed from Bristol, not in search of the Bristol secret but in the hopes of finding the route to Asia that Columbus had missed. Caboto was a Genovese who is remembered by the English name John Cabot, because he undertook this voyage for Henry VII of England. The English, being in the North, were far from the spice route and so paid exceptionally high prices for spices. Cabot reasoned correctly that the British Crown and the Bristol merchants would be willing to finance a search for a northern spice route. In June, after only thirty-five days at sea, Cabot found land, though it wasn’t Asia. It was a vast, rocky coastline that was ideal for salting and drying fish, by a sea that was teeming with cod. Cabot reported on the cod as evidence of the wealth of this new land,

New Found Land, which he claimed for England. Thirty-seven years later, Jacques Cartier arrived, was credited with “discovering” the mouth of the St. Lawrence, planted a cross on the Gaspé Peninsula, and claimed it all for France. He also noted the presence of 1,000 Basque fishing vessels. But the Basques, wanting to keep a good secret, had never claimed it for anyone.

[authenticcadence18]

For the sending you a character thing could you maybe do Candace Flynn please? :)

Hi anon! And of COURSE!!

Favorite thing about them: I love how relatable she is! Candace being overwhelmed with life and feeling stuck/discouraged and frustrated is just, a big ‘ol mood, especially as I’ve gotten older. “The Universe is Against Me” is very therapeutic to sing for those reasons! I also love the moments when she is genuinely a kind older sister, like in “Dude We’re Getting the Band Back Together” or the end of “Summer Belongs To You.” I also love her friendship with Isabella (especially in the later seasons), it’s just really sweet! Candace helping Isabella out with her crush on Phineas (or just reacting to it in a deadpan way) is so so soooo so great! (Basically big sister Candace. Yes.) Candace is also just, SO FUNNY. Both with her dialogue and physical comedy. She’s a great character. (On a personal note, I also relate to her struggle with not wanting to drive right away! I was the same way, and thinking about Candace made me feel better about my own struggles!) Also her SINGING. YES. I love Ashley Tisdale. ...Ok, now that I’ve said lots of nice things about Candace...onto the next question😅

least favorite thing about them: sometimes Candace is just, very unkind. Like, I KNOW she has her own struggles and I’d never want to invalidate those.....but she is just so MEAN to Phineas and Ferb sometimes for no real reason (particularly in earlier episodes). Like, in the Christmas special for instance, she continuously laughs off Phineas and Ferb’s desire to write letters to Santa (but then USES this idea in a scheme to figure out what gift Jeremy wants, so it’s hypocritical on her part) (EDIT: i wouldn’t change the “letters to Santa??” bit, btw, it’s pretty funny!! but it illustrates my point) and THEN puts the thought in Phineas’s head that he might be the reason all of Danville was deemed naughty, which DEVASTATES him. I think the saddest part is that, 95% of the time, Phineas and Ferb are nothing but kind to her. It makes her occasional spitefulness towards them seem so JARRING. (And again I KNOW she struggles with her own issues and feeling inferior, CATU especially made that apparent, and I get it! But that doesn’t make it okay for her to be mean to her brothers, you know?). Also scenes where she says something nice to Jeremy and then rude to her brothers...idk, it just rubs me the wrong way. (I also dislike it STRONGLY when she is condescending to Isabella. I think this only happens, like, twice...but Isabella is my fave so I’ll never forget, LOL)

Favorite line: oh MAN how do I CHOOSE??? She’s got so many iconic lines. Maybeeee: “It’s SO not fair! I mean why am I still on sock detail when Gladys from accounting got promoted to commander and she doesn’t even know hold to hold a blaster!!! No I mean, really, she failed that part of the exam three times, she held it backwards AND upside down but she’s a second cousin to some mid-level darth and so SHE gets the promotion?? What about ME??? If they would just open their eyes, they’d see that I’ve got everything it takes, I COULD BE THE STORMIEST STORM TROOPER EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!” Oh i also like (in reference to lumpy tables) “it’s the new hip-thing, it’s so European!!!” And also “Though I’ve often thought of you as just a nuisance and a bother, today I can’t imagine havin’ better little brothers!”

BrOTP: Candace and Stacy, 100%!! I love them and their friendship SO much, it really feels genuine (especially as their characters develop more). Their subplot in “Canderemy” is one of my favorite Candace plot lines in the show, it’s so funny and so sweet at the end (and a welcome distraction from a certain OTHER subplot in that episode.....yes I’m still mad about the ending🙃)

OTP: CANDEREMY! I’ll be honest, when I was younger, Canderemy kind of annoyed me because Phinabella was my fave and I always got mad when Candace had better luck with love than Isabella (because Candace was mean and Isabella wasn’t and I identified with Isabella and like, I’m just trying to give y’all a picture of younger me😂). But now that Phinabella is canon and I’ve gotten older, I really, REALLY appreciate Candace and Jeremy. Candace doesn’t have to act a certain way for Jeremy to like her: he likes her just the way she is and actively DISCOURAGES her from changing her identity just to appeal to him more. That’s so refreshing and wonderful to see in media aimed at kids/teens. I love that, for the majority of the show, they’re either “talking” or in a relationship and it’s just, a healthy relationship! No multi-episode arcs about them breaking up, no love triangles, no petty arguments (sometimes the show leans into these tropes for an episode, but that’s it. And it’s always resolved). They genuinely care about one another, and I think it’s really sweet. (Plus a Canderemy wedding is RIFE with possibility for pre-relationship Phinabella moments👀)

nOTP: I don’t have any specific nOTPS for Candace, so I’ll just say I’m fine with any ship between her and someone her age (that she isn’t related to, obviously. AND THAT GOES FOR ALL MY SHIPS. I don’t want to say that on every one of these character posts so like, just know. That is where i stand.)

Random headcanon: Candace and Jeremy adopted Fred. I just think it’s a sweet headcanon 🥺. Alsooooo ok this doesn’t specifically revolve around Candace, but when she and Jeremy got married, Isabella and Phineas were both a part of the wedding party and Candace made SURE they were paired together to walk down the isle💕. And Candace continues collecting Ducky Momo memerobilia well into adulthood!

Unpopular opinion: Candace isn’t a terrible, irredeemable character.....but she’s not a purely amazing character who can do no wrong either. I feel like some fans either despise her fully or love everything about her. I’m in the middle. I see her as a flawed character who was written by numerous people and thus is somewhat inconsistent in her characterization. I like it when she is characterized as kindhearted but easily overwhelmed and longing for validation, so that is how I choose to portray her in my own writing/headcanons.

Song I associate with them: look Candace sings so many FANTASTIC songs in the show that I can’t associate her with any other music. Like I guess Ashley Tisdale’s “Kiss the Girl” because there’s fics of her singing that to Phineas and Isabella and I think that’s adorable? (I know I wrote one of those waaaaaaay back in the day, LOL). But in general, every Candace song is great. “The Universe is Against Me” ESPECIALLY.

favorite picture of them: you know what Y’ALL GET FOUR PICTURES BECAUSE BIG SISTER CANDACE IS THE BEST OK

Thank you so much, anon! As you can see, I’ve got quite a few thoughts on Candace😅. At the end of the day, I think she’s a great character and I relate to her a lot! I had a ton of fun writing all these answers out.

This is the last ask I’m going to answer tonight, but I’m looking forward to answering more tomorrow!!!! 😁

[lixis-sin-cauldron]

Oh Raven (Sing Me A Happy Song) [Present Mic | Hizashi Yamada]

Rating: Explicit  18+ content MINORS DNI. Pairing: Hizashi Yamada (Present Mic) X fem!original character Word Count: 5k Kinks and Warnings : semi-public sex, exhibitionism, light choking, fingering, oral sex, vaginal sex, orgasm denial, dirty talk

Inspired to create this by the Citrus Dome Server Masquerade Collab!  Can also be read on Ao3 here: Oh Raven (Sing Me A Happy Song) Big thank you to the Goddess that is @thisisthehardestthing​ for beta reading!!!

Tori was no Pro-Hero, but she did all she could to inspire the people with her voice, her quirk amplifying the effect of joy to many. To her audience, she was as true a hero as any Pro. Perhaps that was why Midnight deemed her worthy of not only entertaining at the masquerade but also to attend.

Her manager was apprehensive about the invite, having heard some of the rumors of what could occur at this particular event, and just how private it was. Tori noted the claims but decided the chance not just to mingle with those she admired, but to also show them her adoration for their work–even if she would be unable to tell who was who–was too good to pass up. She promised to behave and went, ignoring further protests.

The event itself was the spectacle, so her performance was small. It took place in the main area of the large mansion; where the musical ensemble was seated during the duration of the gathering to play before and after she finished.

She took heavy breaths as she entered a side room after her show, set up for performers to use, and felt as if she would collapse from the nervousness that overwhelmed her body. From the moment she had stepped out and Midnight announced her, to the end when she finished the final line and walked away, she had felt tense and on edge. It was as if she was re-experiencing her first-ever live performance back when she was just an unknown hopeful.

Every song she had ever sung was about the concept of being a hero. To stand before her very inspirations and sing to them was dizzying. She had even recognized a few, despite their mask, thanks to their more apparent quirks. Yet she cast no judgment on them, even Heroes were human and what they did at the party was well within their rights to privacy.

After calming her nerves, she slid the colorful wig from her scalp and shook out the raven black hair that was tied beneath. Even artists enjoyed a sense of anonymity, and her colored hair had become an iconic look that allowed her to blend into the crowds when she wished to live a normal day.  Now that her performance was finished, she could do that very thing and meld into the Hero-filled crowd just as a masquerade demanded.

She slipped from her costume and into the prepared gown: open shouldered and black with golden trills, a giving split along her right side–allowing ease of movement– and exposing the black laced stockings that enthralled her legs into simple black heels. A simple ensemble compared to the more extravagant ones the other guests wore but she had little time to prepare if she wanted to enjoy the event herself.

Golden drop earrings and a simple matching chain necklace adorned her skin, a touch of red lip gloss along with dark eyeliner was all that she added after removing the show makeup, the rest of her face hidden by the raven inspired mask that now covered it. With these final touches, she stepped out of the room through a different door and slipped into the crowd, another unknown who came to partake in the delights of the night.

She moved from room to room, conversing with strangers one after another. She recognized some but held her awe at their meeting. The most breathtaking parts of her night were when she ventured into some of the more private performances, where unknowns and heroes alike showed their skills in various techniques - Techniques that made her heart pound, throat dry and insides tighten with need.

She was approached more than a few times by masked suitors, handsome and beautiful, even hidden beneath their masks. Some to dance, others to partake in the night’s more stimulating acts. There were times she almost gave in to their sensual words, but she politely refused, dazed at the idea. Not the judgments of it, but that she herself would be eaten up into this world of physical delights and would not come out the same.

“Enjoying yourself?” a voluptuous female voice whispered into her ear, causing her to spin. Midnight straightened, her mischievous smile on her lips as she twirled a wine glass in one hand.

Tori swallowed, “Midnight. Hello.” She had to wonder if Midnight knew who she was.

“Oh, my little songbird. You look so lost.”

Songbird, the nickname Midnight had given Tori when she arrived. Tori gave a lyrical laugh, her quirk slipping through with the task, “I won’t deny feeling overwhelmed, but yes I am enjoying myself.”

“Hm, I noticed you had a few dance partners, but none remain? Did their movements not entice my little bird?”

“Ah. No, I think not. I think I am more of an onlooker for tonight.”

“The night is still young and there are plenty of birdwatchers waiting for their sighting,” she held out a hand, and Tori took it gingerly, apprehensive at her words. The Heroine spun her, twirling her and making her dress spin. The action took her by surprise and made her laugh with enjoyment, her laugh causing a few heads to turn at the musicality of it.

Midnight removed her grasp and allowed her to spin alone before leaving to continue her hosting duties.

Tori slowed, more at ease after the moment. Sighing with a smile, she ventured further and found herself again in the main room where the musical ensemble played beautiful music. She listened, allowing herself to fall into the sounds.

“Excuse me,” a breezy male voice intruded, interrupting her thoughts. As she took in the speaker, she was taken aback by their mask. A regal lion, covering most of his face aside from the mouth. While startling, it was also fitting as long blonde locks flowed around the mask and his neck to create the dazzling mane. The length undeterminable as some of it was held up in a loose bun. A black suit and vest with a golden tie accented his frame, matching to her own attire. He gave her a wide grin, his red eyes analyzing intensely and somewhat hungrily through the mask.

“I’m sorry?” she peeped, unsettled by the gaze.

“No, I am the one who is sorry. I seem to have startled you. I just had to say something before I lost you again,” he held out a hand, beckoning hers. Not a demanding gesture, just one that was done in greeting.

Not wanting to be rude, since there was nothing to fear at the gathering despite its atmosphere, she placed her hand in his in reply, “you’ve been searching for me?” she asked as she did so.

He bent and placed a kiss on the back of her hand, gazing up at her, “All night, my beautiful Raven.”

She slipped her hand from his grasp easily, holding it to her chest, feeling her heart race. They were honeyed words, easily spoken to any person here but they still made her blood rush, “and now you’ve finally found me.”

“Only because I was lucky enough to hear your exquisite laughter while you danced with our host. A moment later and I would have missed you and my search would continue.”

“And what do you hope to gain from that search?”

“Very little… or the world. We shall see. For now, I only ask…” He held out his hand yet again, but not in greeting but in offering, “a dance?”

As if he predicted the change, the ensemble began a new song. The pounding in her chest became louder, the beat resonating in her ears. She swallowed, surprised at the fear she felt–as though she would be eaten alive by the lion before her. It was just a dance, not even her first that night. She could say no to any other requests just as she had to the others.

She gave a guarded nod and took his hand. He took lead quickly, sweeping her into his embrace and on to the dance floor. He controlled their movement effortlessly, one hand holding hers with the other on her waist. While she was trained to dance due to her career, she still felt some unease when doing ballroom dances. There was no unease with him though, where she felt unsure, he was not and led her even when she faltered.

“You’re very skilled,” she remarked.

“You would be surprised at the skills they expect a hero to have,” they spun and she felt as if she was flying, a laugh of excitement escaped her lips, “the things I would do to hear more of that laughter,” he purred into her ear as they came together.

She felt her throat dry, a tingling rushing through her at the words. “Just my laughter?” she asked, her voice breathy.

“Oh no, I would love to hear all your ranges; I do admit an addiction to your laughter though.” He gave a knowing grin, as if he knew all her secrets and would give her anything she wished for.

The song finished and the dance ended. Releasing his hold, he took her hand once again and placed another kiss upon it, “A delight. Thank you.” He did not release the hold though and she did not remove it, not wanting to lose the warmth it gave. Their eyes locked upon one another.

Although a new song began and with it a new dance, they did not move. The dancers simply moved around them. He ran his thumb gently along her knuckles, “May I show you something?” he asked softly, breaking the silence.

The mystique of the moment was broken along with that silence and she remembered where she was, the things that took place. She knew his wants and the truth behind his honeyed words and hungry eyes. “I-“

“I promise, I will do nothing you do not want and will not touch you unless you give permission. I mean it, I only want to show you something.”

Her denial was trapped in her throat; her curiosity now piqued.  Biting her lip, she gave her permission with a slight nod, unsure of her voice. His eyes drifted to her lips as she bit them and she saw him swallow, his Adam’s Apple bobbing with the hunger in his eyes increasing. What had she just gotten herself into? she wondered.

He led her through the twirling bodies, his hand never letting go of hers. Through hallways and up flights of stairs, he led her to an unassuming door with no one around. He paused at it, staring at the doorknob and she heard him sigh with relief. He released his grasp of her hand and reached into his pocket, pulling out a key which he slipped into the keyhole. She heard it click and he opened the door, holding it open for her to enter.

Fighting her nerves, she stepped inside. A few steps in the room reacted and dim lights fluttered on, giving light to a regal bedroom with a large bed. As the locked door hinted at, no one else was inside. Fear pounded through her as she spun to look at the lion who had led her right into his den. As she had entered the room, he had removed his gold tie and wrapped it around the outer doorknob; the door clicked shut behind him.

“You said-“

“I keep my promises,” he affirmed, holding his hands up in a sign to remain calm, “This room is more than it seems.”

“And the tie?”

“While the room is private, Nemuri did give a key to a handful of people. It is just a sign, to ensure no sudden visitors.”

“You say Midnight’s name so casually,” Tori remarked, surprised but cautious.

He gave a side smirk, “We’re kind of close. May I?” he motioned towards the direction of one of the walls, where a full wall-sized TV sat turned off.

He walked towards it and her. She stepped back, giving him room as he strode past. “I’m not interested in viewing any… films.” She quipped, eyeing him.

The statement seemed to have surprised him, he paused and let out a bellowing laugh. The sound stunned her, not having expected such a loud sound from the breezy voice. It also sounded familiar.

He calmed himself from his fit.      

“I did not expect that,” he stated, giving a Cheshire grin, “you can trust me. This is no video, nothing recorded can compare,” he finished walking to the wall beside the TV and flipped a switch. The large panel came to life, but it was no TV; the darkness faded and became a window. She stepped forward and stared, amazed at the sight.

Below them was the main hall where they had just been dancing, the guests still dancing to music she could no longer hear. The gowns swirled in hypnotic patterns while hair flowed with the created drafts.   Along the walls and the edges of her sight, she saw guests conversing as well as being enticed with their partner. She could see the movements of the musicians as their fingers swayed along their instruments. The view was amazing, and every glance gave a new scene to see or miss.

“Beautiful,” he commented, taking place beside her.

“It is,” she agreed, breaking her gaze and looking at him, relaxed now that he was proving himself trustworthy…ish. As she watched at him, she flushed when she caught him staring at her instead of the view. Realizing what his comment had really meant, she turned her gaze back to the ballroom below.

“I…” he swallowed, “was ecstatic when Nemuri told me you would be at this event, not only attending but to sing as well…”

She felt cold at the words, her eyes once again turning to him. He knew who she was, he really had been looking for her at the party and not just been flirting.

He gave her a tender smile, seeing her unease. “I’ve been trying to find a way to approach you for a while, but our schedules are so conflicting, and being discreet is difficult. Just to speak to you again is all I wanted.”

She contemplated his words, studying him, “We’ve… met?” was he a crazed fan or a hero she had met in passing?

With another smirk, he reached up and placed a hand on his mask, his other reaching and unclipping whatever held it in place.  As the disguise moved, she felt her unease fade and be placed with astonishment.

“Present Mic,” she whispered. He wasn’t just a hero she admired; he had been one of her biggest inspirations for her work as well as the reason she had gained so much notice in the past few months. She had been on one of his radio shows, he had found her work and demanded an interview and blasted her songs non-stop for the whole day.

“Hizashi, please.”

“I… I couldn’t. I knew you were a fan but…” her words stumbled as she spoke, recalling his gazes and touches.

“I was a fan, but once I had that interview… I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I had to know you, but that interview made it impossible to… I had to find you tonight, or I may never have another chance.”

He started to raise his hand, but she stepped back. “They’ll see.” she exhaled, suddenly very aware of the window.

He smiled, looking hurt at her movement, “They won’t. It’s one way. To them, it is just a painting.”

“Oh…”

“Tori.” Her name caused her to jump, he raised his hand again, holding it out to her, “you can trust me.”

She stared at the hand and swallowed. She had wanted to see him again too but had buried it, expecting to never satisfy the desire. Was this real? Or just a way for him to entertain himself at a party? Trembling she took his hand, the feeling so different now that she knew who he was. The mystery from the masquerade now gone.

Pulling slowly, he turned her hand and he raised her palm to his lips, placing a gentle kiss upon her inner wrist, sending shivers through her body. Her insides tightened at his gaze: ravenous, needy, hopeful, “I looked all over, not even realizing I had passed you so many times. Until I heard that magical laugh, I was sure my prey had been caught by another.”

Another kiss; his fingers laced through hers. He pulled her closer, her forearm pressed against his chest and she was only a few inches from being in his embrace. With his free hand he hovered over her mask, “May I?” he asked, not touching her. Keeping his promise.

It felt like the last line of defense she had, with it gone she would be overcome by the night’s atmosphere and she would lose herself… to him.

“Yes.”

The raven mask lifted, her hair flowing around the strap and back down her shoulders, hiding some of her face. It was discarded to the floor, along with the lion mask that had hunted her. He brushed the locks side, running his fingertips along her cheek; barely touching and leaving a trace of longing for more on her skin. He leaned towards her, lips floating just above hers, but he paused, holding back.

“I almost forgot to-“ his words, his request, were cut off as she closed the gap and pressed her lips against his, finally succumbing to the need that had been building all night. He released the entwined fingers and placed both hands on the back of her neck, pulling her deeper into the kiss. Their lips parted and tongues traced each other, wanting to be as close together as possible.

They parted, breathing deeply; his hands remained where they were as they breathed, their eyes studying each other. She noted her red lip gloss now on his lips, she smiled at the sight. He smiled in return.

“I’ll… make this easier,” he started, swallowing, “just… tell me when you want me to stop.” There was so much meaning in the statement, all the permission she could give. She nodded in agreement. “I need to hear you say it.” He demanded softly.

“I’ll tell you.” It was all he wanted; all the resistance left in her gone.

He pulled her into another kiss. When that broke, he pressed her back against the window, another kiss that then led to her chin, down her neck, following the flow of her throat to her collarbone where he bit gently, feeling her pulse racing against his lips.

Each kiss, every touch, sent shivers of excitement through her, heavy breaths laced with moans escaped her lips as he worked.  His hand found the opening along her leg of the dress and slid inside, tracing her thigh. He groped, kneading the soft flesh, hand trailing upwards until he found the strap of her thong. His fingers slid underneath, moving under the fabric until he encompassed her buttocks, squeezing and lifting her, pressing himself into her.

She squeaked, both in surprise at the action and the feel of him, his growing need already apparent. Her moans increased as his mouth continued to explore her flesh. She slid her fingers into locks of his hair, gently running through the golden mane. His gaze returned to hers at the touch, pressing his lips to hers once again.

“Such beautiful sounds,” he growled, breathing heavily, “I’ve done so little yet…” he grinned, “makes me wonder just what songs my Raven will sing for me if I do more…” he trailed the fingers still in the strap of her throng along her hip bone, finding the soft fuzz hidden beneath the fabric between her legs. She was panting at the caress, the feel of his fingertips teasing to explore further.

“Oh… my little bird, you make me want to eat you right up.”

Hooking a finger, he started sliding the thong down, taking a knee, and carefully lifting her leg. His eyes never left hers as he worked. He slid the garment over her heel and let it fall to the ground, still clinging to her other ankle.

His hold remained on her leg and began kissing the stocking slowly upwards, once at a certain point, he braced her against the wall and lifted her, placing the bend of her knee on his shoulder.

“Hi-Hizashi… what are you…” her words cut off in a gasp as he nipped at the flesh of her inner thigh.

“Careful, keep saying my name like that, and I may not be able to control myself,” he growled, smirking against her skin. “I just want to see just how sweet you taste.” His free hand ran up her opposite leg, brushing aside the skirt of the dress so he had full view of his meal.

Gently, he reached up and grazed her, pushing between her folds with a finger and feeling the wetness that had been building over the course of the party. A rumbling moan rolled in his throat, “already so eager. Lucky me.” As he spoke, he explored and found his goal, a whimper of excitement escaping her as he slowly rotated his thumb over the eager bump. He held her steady as she twitched at the motion.

“Shall I stop?” he teased.

“Don’t stop.” She begged, her insides twisting with need.

As his thumb worked, his other fingers slid down and found her entrance–wet and ready. “One or two…?” he asked, as he slid one finger inside, the other pressing patiently waiting to join. She squirmed in pleasure as he moved inside her, her moans taking on musical tones. “Two,” he decided, sliding the other inside.

His fingers worked inside, curving and pressing into her g-spot. He grinned as he moved, “if I write my name out, will that make you mine forever?” A sharp breath from her makes him chuckle, “Already? Your insides are squeezing me so tightly, were you that pent up? Hm?”

“Yes,” she sang in reply, his rhythm increasing. “I’m… don’t stop. Ah!” She let out a gasp of frustration as he did exactly that, stopping his movements as she was reaching her edge. “Why?” she whined.

He stuck his tongue out at her, giving a teasing wiggle “because I want to savor it. If I make it too easy, you’ll get bored.”

“I… don’t think that’s possible,” she huffed.

“Good to know,” he stated with a chuckle. He moved his thumb, causing her to shiver in anticipation for him to start again, however, he instead pushed her lips aside showing a clearer view of her eager nub. He ran the tip of his tongue over it slowly, circling it as he began to slowly move his fingers inside her again. As she shuddered, he braced her tightly against the wall, his other hand still locking her leg over his shoulder.

He continued to tease her, not fully taking her in, running his tongue along her slit, wetting his throat with her juices. He finally relented when she grasped his hair again, clutching forcefully but not pulling, giving him a push, begging him to do more. He followed her urging, enveloping her into his mouth fully and sucking. He could feel her spasms in mini orgasms around his fingers as he worked her.

He pulled his hand from her and wrapped it around her thigh for further support as he buried his face deeper, sliding his tongue inside.

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck,” she repeated the word over and over in her sing-song voice, her mind engulfed in the pleasure. That small ability to speak left her as well when he continued to devour her. All she could emit were musical squeaks as she reached her threshold once again. He didn’t stop this time. He felt her reaching it, letting her tip over the edge.

As she did so, he felt her body relax and he slid her leg from his shoulder and secured her in his arms, cradling her as she came down from the climax. She let out an intoxicated giggle as she regained some awareness, turning to face him with a smile. “Wow.”

He gave his signature grin in return, “I take it you enjoyed yourself?” he hummed as she straightened herself, not leaving his embrace.

“A little,” she admitted in a breathless timbre while reaching up and wiping his mouth with her thumb before pressing her lips to his. He took the action happily, enjoying her exploring him with her tongue. They broke for air, a giddy smile still on her face. He could feel all the tension from her nervousness had evaporated, her eyes staring at him just as hungrily as he had been all night.

He growled, “ah, fuck. Turn around,” he demanded, loosening his hold enough for her to do so.

As she did she came to remember the window of the hall below and was surprised to see that the dancing had stopped, Midnight now speaking to the guests.

“Don’t worry,” Hizashi whispered in her ear, “it’s nothing worth hearing.” She was going to reply but her words caught her throat as she heard the crinkle and tear of plastic.

“Already?”

The sound of his belt and zipper followed, “Tori, I’ve been dreaming of this moment since I met you. I am way past ready for you… Is that a problem?” His voice hinted at worry in that final bit.

“Not at all.”

“Splendid,” he slid the fabric of her dress out of the way, her bottom now in full view. “Fuck, you have an incredible ass,” he growled as she gave a small wiggle in reply. He gripped her hips, using his foot to spread her legs further. “Brace against the window… and let me know if the heels become a problem.”

“Yes, si-Ah.” He pressed at her entrance, finding his way.

He slid in gradually, relishing the feeling of her encompassing him. He stopped pressing into her half-way, rocking back and forth as she shuddered at the feel of him inside, stretching her walls to take him in. Her unfocused gaze settled on the party below, her heart pounding at the idea that they could see her. She wasn’t the only one with this thought.

“Quite a show it would be, don’t you think?” Hizashi hummed as he moved, “if they could see the marvelous Tori like this?”

“But – ah – they can’t so – ah.”

“Oh, but – mhm – I could make it so they could. Wouldn’t you love that?”

“No, th- Ah!” her words cut off, as he thrust into her. Her hand slammed against the window at the force, giving her better purchase.

“Oh no, my beautiful raven, I know you’d love it,”  he reached over, entwining her fingers in hers on the window while the other gripped her hip tightly, making her move in time with his thrusts. “Letting them see how gorgeous you are with me buried deep inside you.” he whispered against her ear, breath tickling the shell of her skin.

Another growl rumbled in his throat as she tightened around him, his words clearly arousing her, though she would deny that. “Oh, yes, yes. You would love that. Your devoted fans hearing the happy sonata you’re singing for me right now, sounds only I get to hear.” His pace intensified; her cries growing to a crescendo.

“Hi…zashi- Ah-,” his name barely escaped between her moans.

“Mm, yes?”

She turned to look at him, eyes half-lidded from the sensations overwhelming her mind. “You…you’re amazing.”

His pace slowed, his hand slipping from her hip to encircle her chin and throat, pull her back against his chest as he tilted her mouth to his.

“Only the best for my favorite listener,” he breathed, he thrust roughly into her at his slowed pace, causing her to cry out and clench tightly around him. He continued the harsh movement. As he did, he released his grip on her hand and gripped her shoulder so that his face rested over. He bit into his finger slightly, using the pain to keep his mind clear and from his own edge as he performed.

His motion went unnoticed as she succumbed to the pleasure of him pressing deep inside of her, allowing herself to fall into his hold. If anyone walked into the private room now, they would hear a concert like no other as her quirk created a symphony from her moans. Her pitch increased as she once again came closer to the crest of her aria.

He placed a gentle pressure on her throat, her moans quieting as he pressed.    

“Cum for me, baby, I want to feel you,” he hissed as her grip strangled his cock, his deep thrusts increasing in speed. Her mind clouded over, enveloped completely, and totally in the bliss that filled her body. She reached her pinnacle, her back arching as shockwaves rushed through her, a soundless whimper escaping her lips as she shook.

He held her still as she shuddered, resting inside her as he fought off his own torrent of pleasure as she convulsed around him. As she calmed, he slid from her.

“Did… you���?” she panted.

He hummed in delight, “Not yet, Songbird.”

Struggling with his slacks for a moment to ensure they didn’t leave him yet, he scooped her into his arms, one arm bracing her back and the other under her knees. Her thong, still loosely clinging to Tori’s ankle, finally fell freely to the ground, forgotten.

Hizashi brought her to the edge of the bed where he began to caress her once more, running his hands along her legs. Tenderly, he slid her heels off and tossed them aside, then leaned in and kissed her before reluctantly parting so he could remove his jacket and start working at the vest.

“The night is still young and I haven’t even started with you. Not to mention…” he paused, eyeing her with a sinful smirk, “I still need to see everything that dress is hiding from me.”   

@lemonlordleah-shinzawa-kitten @cheeriecherry

[angelhummel]

As if there was any doubt that this is my blog and I do things for me, I’m gonna do something that I don’t think anyone else will find interesting or even comprehensible...

Glee characters as Descendants characters! So buckle up bc I’ve given this more thought than anyone would deem sane

Rachel = Mal. Not the best character but she’s the main protag and she’s in it the most so we get what we get. Self proclaimed leader of the group. Looks best with bangs. Always gets a sad song to sing. Has severe mommy issues. Selfishness can oftentimes lead to trouble for others. No matter how badly she screws up, still has lots of people in her corner (either in universe or in fandom). Can still be a surprisingly good friend when she wants to. Goes from only looking out for herself to learning to look out for her friends (even if it takes a while)

Kurt = Evie. The protag’s second in command, basically. The sweetest angel alive, want their friends to be safe and happy, willing to help the children. But also super snarky and won’t hesitate to read you for filth over your hair or outfit. Hates taking sides, just wants everyone to get along. Fashion icon, always making their own clothes. Dreamed about marrying Prince Charming since they were kids. Looks great in crowns. An amazing character on their own but sadly sometimes just reduced to the main protag’s personal cheerleader

Blaine = Carlos. Four feet tall, looks best with curly hair, also the baby of the group. The one who needs a nap and a hug more than anyone else. Super smart but doesn’t make a big deal about it. Crush on people with brown hair and blue eyes who had a major glo up. (But also both obviously gay I mean come on.) 

Puck = Jay. The muscle of the group. Has cool hair. Jerk with a heart of gold. Total lady killer and a huge flirt. Seriously will flirt with anyone, even teachers. Good at sports. Not the best academically but not dumb either. Not one of my personal faves but I still have general positive feelings towards both

Finn = Ben. Not traits-wise, obviously, or even how I personally feel about them. Just storywise I guess. The bigshot leader who is in charge of everyone when really it should be up to someone better suited. Wants to do the right thing but usually ends up making things worse. Have a pre-established gf that they proceed to leave for the protag. Wears crowns?? Sweet mom with an asshole ex/husband. Also I could 100% see Ben accidentally running over a mailman while learning how to drive

Quinn = Audrey. Literal QUEEN. Queen of deserving better. Has her bf stolen away by the main protag, then go on to date a cute ditzy blond guy. Cheerleader. Mean girl, but she gets better. Kind of important in the first installment, nothing to do in the second, then come back in the third maybe a little crazy, with hot pink hair and a thirst for revenge

Sam = Gil. The best boy, sunshine boy, never did anything wrong in his life. Not the brightest, doesn’t always say the right thing, but still sweet and a good person. Very athletic, great bod, beautiful blond hair that, for better or worse, was styled into a ponytail at one point. Fiercely loyal, always has his main girl’s back

Santana = Harry. Sexiest mf here. Loyal and protective but maybe a little unhinged unorthodox. Ready and willing to make somebody bleed during a clique showdown if they have to. Loves to act tough and invincible but has a soft and vulnerable side deep down. Deep, deep down. Super gay but also hits on/is attracted to everyone they meet. Also has their main girl’s back

Mercedes = Uma. The aforementioned “main girl” to the last two characters. The most talented mf here, don’t forget it. Has an enemies to friends plot with the main protag. Was part of her group until she left to form her own more talented, cooler and sexier group. Gets demonized for doing the same things that the main protag gets away with bc there are racist hypocrites in all fandoms

Tina = Jane. Super shy at first, not many friends. Gets more confident and comes out of her shell throughout the series. Can sometimes be bitchy but actually a super sweetheart. Main protag manipulates her to get what she wants. Also in love with someone who is clearly gay. Come on, girl

Brittany = Lonnie. Walks the line between girly and tomboy. Super athletic. Into sports typically deemed for guys. Doesn’t realize what she’s saying and makes everyone uncomfortable. Asian dads??

Artie = Doug. I mean, look at them. Nerdy, glasses, in band at some point. Somehow manages to date people WAY out of his league 

Jesse = Chad. Superficial, not too bright, absolute drama king. Not the best person but always entertaining

[non-sequitura]

Non-sequitura Disney in-depth analysis (after making a tier list)

Warning: SUPER longform. If you don’t know a movie well, you should skip the summary. I tried to be light on spoilers, but they’re there.

I went chronologically from favorite to least favorite. So S tier is, in order from fave to least fave, The Incredibles, WALL-E, then Zootopia.

S tier (Something I consider high quality AND a movie I greatly enjoy. I would love more Disney movies be like this.)

The Incredibles - one of my favorite movies of all time, possibly THE favorite. Rockin social commentary, epic action scenes, memorable characters, not a minute of screentime wasted, great take on the Fantastic Four, hilarious parts for both adults and children, an interesting villain, etc. 

WALL-E - I love how social commentary was done here. Also skies above, what a beautiful love story. Really blazed a trail in non-verbal storytelling (especially given it was an animated kids film!) Robot animations are particularly delightful. 

Zootopia - another social message delivered excellently and entertainingly. I love Judy and her persistence, I love the expressiveness of the faces and the epic city setting. I love Judy and Nick's banter. This movie deserves to be remembered longer than it has been so far. Admittedly, not one of my fave villains, which makes it my least favorite of the Ss. 

A tier (either super high quality or something I greatly enjoy and deem of at least reasonably good quality)

Mulan - this movie did everything right. Truly feminist protagonist, an icon for strong Asian women, fairly culturally accurate (tho Mushu confuses me), GORGEOUS and iconic music. Lets a relatively natural romance develop. I frickin love the action scenes, I love the emporer. Sadly, this movie just didn't lodge its way in my heart as well as Pixar did. Pixar just has some magic, yo. 

Cinderella - my gosh what an underrated protagonist. Her family straight-up abuses her and she never loses sight of her goals for a better life. Iconic visuals helped bring Disney out of bankruptcy. A gorgeous alto singing voice. 

Wreck-it Ralph - alright alright ppl don’t crucify me for this. I honestly can’t think of much wrong with this movie. Vanellope and Ralph’s vitriolic best buds relationship is adorable, her forgiveness of him is heartwarming and (relatively) deserved, rockin’ Owl City song, epic visuals that mix together bc of all the different games. ALSO ONE OF THE BEST DISNEY VILLAINS NO CAP. One of the only twist villains I like. And we stan the romantic pairing. 

Tangled - I’ve talked about this a lot, but Rapunzel deserved the whole world after what she’s gone through. That being said, Gothel is not some shallow monster she needs to escape from, but an intelligent, well-defined monster with backstory. I could totally see this story happening if the world of Tangled existed. Epic love story, hilarious dialogue. Music is… good but much of it is less memorable to me. Visuals are good but not quite at the level/creativity of many other disney films. 

The Lion King - they really put Hamlet in Africa and pulled it off lol. But in all seriousness, no one took the premise of this film seriously at the time and it became sooo iconic. I love Scar and his eventual downfall, I love how Simba grows emotionally, I love the sad moments that don’t overpower the overall feeling of light goofiness. And music so memorable it was one of the first Disney musicals. 

Coco - not a super unique story premise. But an incredible culture to explore with such creativity and sensitivity. I love the themes of death not being the worst and music being so central to the story. Twist/twist villain was memorable and not expected. And yeah, it did make me cry, so props there. 

Ratatouille - the most recently watched of these films for me. This movie is soooo unique! Back when Pixar was truly super out there with their concepts. Super Parisian visuals and soundtrack. It somehow starts goofy (THE OLD LADY TRIES TO KILL REMY WITH A SHOTGUN WHILE WEARING A GAS MASK) but really drives home the message that you can truly do what you want regardless of who you are. Colette can get it. And the monologue by Ego at the end is one of my favorites in film. 

Frozen - Anna is one of my favorite Disney protagonists. She’s so resilient and loyal. Elsa ain’t bad either but she experiences… less character development. The film is a tad too pleased with its own self-awareness for my taste, but there’s no denying how iconic the music and visuals were. 

Inside Out - Alright, this movie hits home for me bc I tried to run away after moving. A super thoughtful, heartfelt depiction of (potentially depression? imo) with great moments of humor. Riley’s inner world is so creative and lovely. Also realistic depictions of Minnesota/California culture. 

Tarzan - Jane! is! smart! and! adorable! Her scientific curiosity makes her very endearing. it’s so cute to see her and Tarzan learn from each other. Also Tarzan’s “found mother” is epic. Solid score. Solid film all around. To quote Lily Orchard, “This film is what Pocahontas tried to be.” 

B tier (one of my favorites but has a few significant flaws that bring it down (or not quite as memorable to me, but consider good quality))

Peter Pan - Haven’t seen it in a hot sec, but I remember being super charmed by this as a kid. Just going out, having incredible adventures, and returning to a warm home at the end of the day. Tinker Bell is hilarious and beautifully drawn. Gets major negative points for the depiction of Native Americans tho. 

Big Hero 6 - I was super charmed by the protagonist, his family/friends, and the setting. The plot/villain’s motivations are a bit of a mess, though. 

Princess and the Frog - This movie has so much flavor to it! The visuals/music are lovely and unique. Tiana is incredible but it’s kinda annoying how EVERYONE keeps trying to shoehorn her into romance. The thing is, her goals are entirely reasonable. Focus on her restaurant, then look to settle down. But they’re like “nooo you’re ignoring the important things in life” smh. Also, epic villain, woohoo! The movie dragged significantly for me when they were in the bayou. Charlotte is delightful. 

Winnie the Pooh - don’t remember it super well, but I think it was charming and occasionally dark, which is an addictive concoction. 

The Little Mermaid - MAN ppl roast Ariel way more than she deserves. Visually, it was… fine. idk. This movie is good. I don’t have much else to say about it. 

Snow White - the one that started it all. Visually, super impressive. Musically, lovely. I find the romance a bit… off. Well, more than a bit. What is it with Disney and kissing sleeping people? 

Alice in Wonderland - a nerdy acid trip. Right up my alley! I also like films where ppl go on incredible adventures and return to the status quo, but THEY changed bc of it. Epic. SUUUUPER creative visual interpretation of Carroll’s book. Brave - gosh I loooove films where a parent and child learn to understand each other. Never got why ppl hated this movie so much. The Scottish flavor is present and fun. Merida made one mistake and made it up. The arrow scene is iconic. 

Cars - a fun ride! (hahaha puns.) We love seeing Paul Newman as a car. 

B-minus tier? (same as B, but problematic, or weaker story-wise.)

Hunchback - man… settings-wise, this film might be my favorite. I also love Esmeralda and Quasimodo as characters and as a duo (though the sexualized depiction of Romani ppl is not epic.) I also don’t find the discrimination against Esmeralda/Quasimodo jarring bc it matches the time period. Frollo is super interesting as a villain. The gargoyles are… def not necessary. Basically, this film doesn’t know what it’s doing with tone. 

Sleeping Beauty - Aurora was my favorite when I was younger because I thought she was the prettiest, and that still defines how i feel about this, basically. Visually lovely - everything is kind of elongated and gothic. Maleficent is spiteful and epic. I have no issue with the fluffier parts of the movie, like the music or the fairies. RIP for lack of consent being a plot point, though. 

Hercules - Megara is incredible. one of the only Disney “princesses” who acts like an adult and has cynicism as a major part of her personality. I love her and Herc’s progression where she learns to trust him (yes, he is genuinely that sincere, it’s not a front.) Muses are unique, whoever came up with them was high on something and I’m living for it. I just think the plot itself was somewhat unrealistic/ weirdly-paced. There are some memorable songs, some less-than-memorable songs. Art style is cool but I’m personally not a fan. EXTREMELY inaccurate depictions of the original Greek gods. 

C tier (entertaining, but I don't consider it a great movie)

Bolt - I watched this like 11 years ago. It was fun! A cool concept about those put on a pedestal learning their worth even without celebrity boosting them up. Animation was… fine I think. not super memorable to me. 

Frozen 2 - They really took any scrap of character development Elsa had in the first movie, threw it in the garbage and set it on fire. Anna deserved so much better. Songs are bombastic and impressive, have the occasional interesting lyric, but are really weirdly placed and none are quite as iconic as the first movie’s (except Aurora, she does great work here. Also the song Anna sings after she thinks Elsa died.) 

Not a big fan of the vaguely homeopathic theme. Not a big fan of Olaf’s WEIRD character development. Not a big fan of the suuuuuper awkward dialogue and the animations that imply not only that Kristoff is into his reindeer but that Elsa and Anna are into each other (if you’re questioning if they did that, yes, they did, I can find screenshots of some really weird expressions/moments. THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO PANDER TO YOUR WEIRD FANS, DISNEY.) 

The voice actors did great work, the animators did great work (look at the details on their clothes! Look at how Elsa’s posture changes to be more confident! look at how they're animated while they're singing!) Some weird costume/makeup choices that make Elsa look like an aging starlet, but she also has some gorgeous moments so eh. It’s a wash for me. 

They really did not know what to do with Kristoff this movie, huh. The only thing that happened to him was singing a cheesy 90s ballad and marrying Anna, both of which were admittedly epic. Also, the trolls got 0 appearances despite being literally psychic. Probably could have helped with a lot. I'm not a huge fan of lore/worldbuilding, and thee was a lot of it here. Overall neutral on it. 

Also a big theme in this movie I don’t love - **** TANGIBLE CONSEQUENCES TO OUR ACTIONS!!! The danger is Elsa’s death, the elements, colonialism, and Arendelle literally being destroyed. None of those end up playing out, so I was left at the end going “this film had literally no stakes.” 

Monsters U - same as above - entertaining at the time! Not super memorable. The ppl we were supposed to dislike kept switching. Doesn’t really match the canon of Monsters Inc (I thought they were supposed to have known each other since childhood so why did they meet in college?) 

Cars 3 - so apparently, everyone HATED this movie! Fun! I never watched Cars 2 (yes watched Cars 1 if you haven’t been paying attention to this list), but I didn’t think this movie was bad at all. Well-acted, some fun chase scenes, the scene where Lightning fails at driving in the simulation is genuinely hilarious, and some interesting perspectives on teachers getting the spotlight for their skills for once. 

Incredibles 2 - I liked this film at first, but then it was… just okay in retrospect. I love me some good family dynamics. The plot here makes not a lot of sense. THEY BUILT UP THE UNDERMINER FOR NOTHING AND THEN FORGOT ABOUT HIM. I was surprised by the villain swap, but it happened so last minute I never really understood their motivations even after they explained them. Tried to tackle waaaay too many messages. 

D tier (I didn't enjoy these or consider them mediocre)

Finding Dory - Maybe I should have put this higher? Like C tier at least. Ah well. Wasn’t a huge fan of the body/physical comedy (not my thing), but it was entertaining and awww finding family is heartwarming. 

Finding Nemo - I remember nothing about this movie. 

E tier (this film has significant problems)

Beauty and the Beast - *sigh*… I want to love this movie. The score is gorgeous. Visually, they could have made it more distinctly Rococo-era France but didn’t (why?) The voice actors did good work and I think Paige O’Hara is SUPER underrated here. 

The Beast is emotionally manipulative with an awful temper that (for MOST of the movie. He doesn’t change.) That’s the main reason this is in E tier. This movie shaped so many generations of people thinking they can change the behavior of someone who treats them badly through the power of love. But you can’t. She learns to “love” the beast under coercion. It’s not Stockholm syndrome - it’s a trashy romance novel. Big fan of Gaston as a villain. He’s an archetype ppl can recognize and it’s so satisfying to hate him.

F tier (I think this film actively harms the industry and would rather it not have been made. Both the one in E tier could be considered harmful to the industry, but I think they had significant enough artistic accomplishments to scrape above that. I'm also generally a fan of "lack of censorship bc it's better to teach what not to do.")

Pocahontas - this movie took real historical events and romanticized them AND sexualized one of the only Native princesses they’ve had. Boo. Nothing wrong with animation!Pocahontas as a character, it’s just people put her in a story that doesn’t represent history well at all (and these historical events, unlike those in say, 14th-century Germany, had super relevant effects on people alive today.) And they portrayed the Native Americans and colonial settlers as equally in the wrong. (though I like Governor Radcliffe as a potential villain and love the line “see how I glitter.” I can’t NOT laugh when I hear it.) Lovely music, though. Nice animation, but the colors are weirdly… muted? 

Bad Garbage (I don't wish this film had never been made, but I wish I never had to see it.)

Planes - this movie was ridiculous. I remember not much about it except that I kinda hated it and that it was super cheesy with tension one could see right through that immediately resolved itself via one twist or another. 

Haven’t seen tier: Recess, A Bug’s Life, A Goofy Movie, DuckTakes Movie, Lilo and Stitch, Pinocchio (actually i have seen this but I remember nothing about it), The Nightmare before Christmas, Toy Stories 1, 2, and 3, Up, 101 Dalmatians, The Great Mouse Detective, Cars 2, Moana, The Good Dinosaur, Pete’s Dragon, Fantasia, Peter Pan Return to Neverland, Fantasia 2000, The Black Cauldron (read the book, though!), Bambi (or I did and remember nothing about it), The Rescuersm, The Rescuers Down Under, Planes Fire and Rescue, Bambi 2, The Fox & the Found, Oliver and Company, Atlantis, Treasure Planet (I want to, though), Piglet’s Big Movie, The Jungle Book, the Emporer’s New Groove, The Jungle Book 2, Chicken Little, Brother Bear, The Three Caballeros, Pooh’s Heffalump Movie, Dumbo, The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad, Aladdin (seen parts but never the whole thing), Strange Magic, The Sword in the Stone, James and the Giant Peach, Frankenweenie, Lady and the Tramp, Ralph Breaks the Internet, Doug’s 1st Movie, Monsters Inc. (want to, though), Meet the Robinsons, Dinosaur, The Aristocats, Robin Hood, The Tigger Movie, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, that pooh movie at the end without the title on it

-11/21/20

[imagitory]

D-Views: Muppet Treasure Island

Hi, everyone! Welcome to another installment of D-Views, my on-going written review series for films that fall under the Disney umbrella, as well as those that were influenced by those films! For more reviews for movies like Mary Poppins, Treasure Planet, and The Prince of Egypt, please consult my “Disney Reviews” tag and, of course, if you enjoy this review or any of the others, please consider liking and reblogging!

Today’s film is one of my childhood favorites, starring a cast of some of my favorite people, as well as frogs, pigs, and even whatevers. This is Muppet Treasure Island! (Thank you for your votes, @the-alexandrian-alchemist, @silvvergears, @extremelybears​, @livinlifelikeishould​ and @karalora​!)

Ever since 1976, the characters of the Muppet Show have been American pop culture icons. The show itself won a total of 21 Emmy nominations and four television awards over its long run, and by 1990 its cast had also starred in several critically acclaimed films (The Muppet Movie, The Great Muppet Caper, and The Muppets Take Manhattan) and the very popular animated TV show Muppet Babies. And all of that wouldn’t have been possible without the Muppets’ creator, Jim Henson.

Like at the Walt Disney Company, the loss of their leader in 1990 hit Jim Henson Productions very hard. One silver lining, however, is that just like with Walt Disney, Jim Henson was memorialized not just by the characters he created, but by his many achievements and the many friendships he’d made in life. He received a Star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame alongside Kermit the Frog; was inducted into the Television Hall of Fame; earned a memorial in his hometown Hyattsville, Maryland; was posthumously named a Disney Legend; was the focus of the heartfelt TV special The Muppets Celebrate Jim Henson; and was laid to rest with two formal funeral services complete with performances of some of his favorite songs. And just like the Walt Disney Company, even after the death of someone who meant so much to them, Jim Henson Productions got back up and promised to do more in the memory of their lost leader. Jim’s son Brian Henson took the reins and directed the Disney-co-produced Christmas movie The Muppet Christmas Carol in 1992, before he moved on to their next project and today’s subject, Muppet Treasure Island.

So, here’s the thing -- I have a LOT of nostalgia for this movie. I will be upfront about that. But even with that acknowledged, I was sort of stunned when I found out how lukewarm the reaction to this movie was, when it was released in theaters. Sure, I knew it hadn’t broken the bank, but even if it earned about $34 million worldwide, it received no honors or awards, only hit third at the box office opening weekend behind the movies Broken Arrow and Happy Gilmore, and even now only boasts an average 73% rating at Rotten Tomatoes. Critics at the time criticized how it was more “Treasure Island” than “Muppet”, with Roger Ebert calling it “less cleverly written” and Gene Siskel even more coldly deeming it “boring.” Although I’ll readily acknowledge that reading those reactions makes me want to run outside and scream “FUCK YOU, GENE SISKEL” at the top of my lungs, I promise to give a more rational review of this movie instead, one hopefully that acknowledges any possible shortcomings, but also will celebrate this film and how completely NOT boring it is.

One of the best things about this movie hits us in the face right off the bat -- the music, written by scoring giant Hans Zimmer and Nick Glennie-Smith. As much as I enjoy a lot of Muppet musicals, I attest that Muppet Treasure Island has the most cohesive score overall of any Muppet production. The Muppets were always creatures of the short, sweet vignette -- of the variety show -- of many disparate pieces sewn loosely together into a whole like a patchwork quilt. Even though The Muppet Christmas Carol’s soundtrack comes very close in its cohesion and I would say The Muppets (2011) -- my personal favorite Muppet movie -- is truer to the spirit of the Muppet Show in its music while also paying tribute to old-fashioned movie musicals, Muppet Treasure Island just paints a full-bodied picture from the off-set, building on refrains that return and morph over the course of the picture. From the very beginning, we get that this venture is NOT a standard Muppet movie. Like The Muppet Christmas Carol, the Muppets’ humor will only be part of the story told -- in TMCC, it takes a backseat to sincere emotions like love and redemption, while here in MTI, it takes a backseat to adventure and swashbuckling action.

The score also seamlessly flows into our first song, “Shiver My Timbers,” which just screams “pirate!” I’ve loved pirates ever since I was a little kid, and Muppet Treasure Island was one of the main reasons why. I was okay with Peter Pan, but Muppet Treasure Island was what really got me excited about pirates. They were rough, ruthless, and dangerous, but it was exciting to face off against them in an epic musical adventure, even if your only weapons were a couple of artfully thrown starfish. In the 90′s, pirate films weren’t really “in” -- it wouldn’t be until 2003 with the release of Pirates of the Caribbean that they became popular again -- but I think Muppet Treasure Island, through its music, really embraces the fun, action-packed thrills that Disney would later capitalize on in the Pirates films.

After our prologue, we meet Billy Bones (played by the perfectly cast Billy Connolly) and, of course, our hero, Jim Hawkins, played by newcomer Kevin Bishop. Kevin was the very first of a hundred kids who showed up for the audition to meet the casting agents, and he was selected for the part then and there. Sadly post-Muppets he moved on to stage and television, but for what it’s worth, I quite like Kevin in the role of Jim. He’s distinctly depicted as a boy, complete with a pre-puberty “boy soprano” singing voice (which I acknowledge is an acquired taste, but I personally enjoy), but that characterization only serves to accent how large of an arc he goes through over the course of the film. He starts off as smart, sincere, honest, and dreamy, but also very innocent and trusting, and over the course of the story, he learns to ground himself in who he is and what he believes in, to the point where he has to sever ties with someone he once considered a friend and mentor. Accompanying Jim in his journey are Gonzo and Rizzo, who largely serve as comic relief but do still serve as good friends and companions to Jim, as evident by the three characters’ “I Want” song, “Something Better.” Yes, Gonzo and Rizzo are sidekicks, but they’re still distinct personalities that bounce well off each other and “straight-man” Jim. Originally the filmmakers had considered simply having Gonzo and Rizzo being two characters called “Jim” and “Hawkins” respectively (splitting the part in two, not unlike what they did with Statler and Waldorf in The Muppet Christmas Carol), but due to concerns that the choice would result in a lack of heart in the finished product, that idea was scrapped. I think it ultimately was the better decision to leave the drama to the humans -- it’s not that the Muppets can’t conjure sincere emotion (just look at “Pictures in my Head” or “Man or Muppet”), but I still think having any of the existing Muppets fulfill the “coming of age” narrative the original Jim Hawkins goes through would’ve been a bit of a stretch. Even in The Muppet Christmas Carol or non-Muppet-show Jim Henson production Labyrinth, the main characters with a story arc are played by human actors who are able to ground the picture despite the cast of colorful, irreverent characters.

One of the main criticisms that critics of the time lobbed at this movie is that it feels more “Treasure Island” than “Muppet”, and in a way it’s a decent point, if not phrased very badly. Unlike in other Muppet projects, the humor plays second fiddle to the plot and the characters are not the characters we know from the Muppet Show with their Muppet Show backstories and consciousness. In The Muppet Christmas Carol, the film could very easily be seen as a “production” being put on by the Muppets, even if it’s never overtly stated as such, thanks to Gonzo (as Charles Dickens) constantly breaking the fourth wall. In Muppet Treasure Island, however, Gonzo and Rizzo have their own non-Muppet-show history as friends of Jim Hawkins way before ever meeting the other Muppets like Kermit and Sam the Eagle, and Kermit and Miss Piggy have a whole soap-opera romance that involves a wedding and getting marooned by pirates (we’ll get to that later). So yes, this is more “Treasure Island,” but it’s not less “Muppet” -- it’s less “Muppet Show.” These Muppets have different histories, but they’re the same characters despite this. Gonzo is an eccentric thrill-seeker -- Rizzo is a cowardly cynic -- Kermit is a soft-spoken pacifist -- Fozzie is a lovable dimwit -- Piggy is a self-centered diva. Think of Muppet Treasure Island as a Muppet AU fanfiction -- these may not be exactly the characters you know, and yet...they are! They’re the exact same big personalities with the same quirks, strengths, and weaknesses, just in an alternate universe. And honestly, I think it’s really cool, to see these sorts of characters so exclusively used for comedy in a world that’s not flat-out comedic -- one that’s kind of dirty and rough around the edges, with swashbuckling action and real danger around every corner.

The nice thing is that although yes, the comedy isn’t the central focus anymore, there is still really good humor in this film, a lot of it thanks to the shift in tone. There’s just something so very, very funny to me about Billy Bones’s death scene being followed up by Rizzo, Gonzo, and Jim just flat-out freaking out and dashing out of the room screaming like stupid kids, or the tense action scene where the pirates storm into the inn being punctuated by Rizzo trying to help Gonzo load the gun, only to spill the bag of bullets, or the epic entrance of the illustrious Captain Smollett’s carriage ending with the tall, solemn coachman stepping aside to reveal the Captain himself, played by Kermit the Frog. I think it plays into the ideas of subverting expectations and building up a punchline properly before delivering the joke -- as each scene is built up, we’re left constantly unsure if the film’s going to play things straight or just be completely irreverent, and the contrast is what can make a joke much funnier than in a purely, solely humorous scenario. There are a few points where the contrast can become a bit labored, but I laugh so much more during this movie that I ever have watching my favorite reruns of the Muppet Show, no matter how much I enjoy them. It’s something that, again, the Pirates of the Caribbean films would capitalize on much later. (Too bad they couldn’t incorporate that humor into any catchy musical numbers! Disney, where’s my Pirates of the Caribbean musical?)

Aha, and now we come to the brightest of the shining stars in this film -- our villain, Long John Silver, played by the amazing Tim Curry. I’m sorry, it’s an incontrovertible truth that Curry is a unique, magical ingredient that, when added to any movie, just elevates the cinematic dish to a whole new level and leaves you drooling for one more scene with him. I remember someone once saying that Curry is sort of like a Muppet in human skin thanks to his outrageous, yet likable acting, and...yeah, it makes it so that he fits perfectly in this movie, where he has to interact so closely with the Muppets. The nice thing is, though, that he also has a lot of chemistry with his human co-star Kevin Bishop, to the extent that you sincerely feel for the relationship that forms between Jim and Silver even if you know Silver’s intentions from the start. I particularly like their exchange in the ridiculously catchy “Sailing for Adventure,” as well as their scene at the front of the ship where they discuss their fathers and the stars.

Just as the adventure is getting going, however, it stops dead with the wind’s abandonment of the Hispaniola. Out of nowhere, the ship breaks out into the most ridiculous, most “Muppet” of all of the musical numbers, “Cabin Fever.” The song was one of my favorite parts when I was little and it’s always made me laugh, but it’s definitely the biggest detour of the movie that up until that point lived in its own pirate-centric world. It’s a very short-lived detour and as I said, it’s ridiculously funny, but it doesn’t have any bearing on the plot and I could see how people might find it kind of pointless, particularly since it doesn’t even feature three of our main characters, Jim, Silver, or Smollett. One other critique I will give the film is that some of the effects nowadays don’t look very real, like the Hispaniola being composited over still matte paintings -- there are points where the production values remind me a bit of the old Wishbone TV series, where they have to angle the shot just so or get creative just to try to make the ship look as big as it should be. But honestly, there were points where Wishbone impressed me with those same sorts of layering and green-screen effects despite its limited budget, and those cheaper effects don’t look tacky or out-of-place, so I personally don’t mind them that much.

Because this is a Muppet movie, it’s unsurprising that our Mr. Arrow (played by Sam the Eagle) isn’t really killed, instead just being tricked off of the ship by a manipulative Silver, but it says something that, even with that softened plot turn, the stakes are not completely dismantled. We still see the pirates as a legitimate threat when they kidnap Jim and take over the Hispaniola, even when they burst into song. Tim Curry’s “only number,” “A Professional Pirate,” is a perfect expression of his expert, charming showmanship, which in my mind truly can’t be matched by any other performer in Hollywood, past or present. No one gives a performance like Tim Curry. It makes it so that even when I was a bratty kid getting irritated about Silver calling privateer Sir Francis Drake a pirate and using “buccaneer” as a synonym for “pirate,” I would sing this song at the top of my lungs, trying to even reach 75% of the energy Curry put into his vocals.

At long last, Miss Piggy makes her grand debut as “Queen Boom Sha-Kal-a-Kal,” a.k.a. Benjamina Gunn. Although the diva doesn’t end up getting much screentime, she certainly gets a grand entrance, complete with an elephant steed decorated with flowers and a full musical number complete with a tribal chant and ethereal vocalizing. And true to form, when she lays eyes on her one true love, Kermit...she smacks him so hard that he’s thrown backwards off his feet and into a gong. What’s particularly interesting about Piggy in this movie is that although she and Fozzie are voiced by Frank Oz as always, both she and Fozzie were actually puppeted by Kevin Clash, as Oz was unavailable during this film’s production, and Oz’s vocals for both characters were added in post-production. Despite the difference in puppeteer, however, both characters are just as likable as ever -- I’d honestly had no clue that they weren’t performed by the same person! The film even got to use the full-bodied remote-controlled puppets for Kermit and Piggy for the love duet “Love Led Us Here,” which is kicked off by an Evita joke I never got as a kid but as an adult makes me grin like a friggin’ idiot. Fortunately the duet is inter-cut with Silver and the pirates finding the treasure, rather than it being chock-full of romantic flashbacks or prolonged looks between the two lovebirds, giving it a lighter tone than it would’ve had otherwise.

With a much reduced crew comprised only of Rizzo, Gonzo, Squire Trelawney, Dr. Honeydew, Beaker, and the newly returned Mr. Arrow, Jim comes to Benjamina and Smollett’s rescue and returns to Treasure Island to face Silver and the pirates. The action scene is full of humor, but because of the world established in the rest of the film, I would argue it still has stakes. The blows still hurt and there’s still a threat of defeat and danger, most notably when Long John Silver prepares to fight. Even if you don’t think the Muppets are going to die persay, you still feel the suspense in wanting to see what’s going to happen next. And when Silver surrenders, he himself can see the real treasure Jim found on his adventure -- a family...a group of people Muppets who will support him and encourage the very best in him.

Silver’s escape scene is a beautifully heart-wrenching scene -- one that could only have been earned by two excellent performances over the course of the film by Kevin Bishop and Tim Curry. Even though both Silver and Jim know that they’re different people and they could never walk the same path, it doesn’t mean that they don’t still greatly esteem and care about each other. In Jim’s case, it’s especially difficult, given that in parting ways with Silver, he has to cut loose of a very poor potential father figure who would’ve only dragged him down in the long run, but who was so likable in his own damaged way. It proves to be a very bittersweet scene sprinkled into a very happy, cheerful ending, complete with the chipper island-inspired end credits bop “Love Power.”

Muppet Treasure Island is -- in my opinion, at least -- one of the best Muppet movies ever made. It broke away from quite a few Muppet conventions, like the characters breaking the fourth wall and being aware of themselves being in a movie or TV show, and embraced a much less humorous tone in both its writing and cinematography. Yes, it reimagined a classic book like The Muppet Christmas Carol did, but this movie took the next step, embracing the world of the original novel as well as the set-up and immersing the Muppets’ cast of characters in it. Although I can see why some people would be more partial to the original Muppet movie formula and love it a lot myself, I really, really respect Brian Henson and the rest of this film’s crew for taking the Muppets in such a different direction. It was an entertaining, action-packed, funny pirate movie before those sorts of movies became popular again, and it remains my favorite “pirate” movie of all time, as well as my personal favorite incarnation of the Treasure Island story (barely beating out Treasure Planet). I know childhood nostalgia can play a role in what media can give you joy as an adult, but I truly don’t think it’s the only factor here -- it’s also just a really good movie, and I can only hope that more people will consider giving it a chance and have just as much fun Sailing for Adventure as I did!

[actuallyrandomperson]

My thoughts on the Sanders Sides Spotify playlists- Patton Edition!

Note: this is Purely me saying whether or not I like the songs, not theorising about any deeper meanings. I’ve done them all, so just click on the names to see my reactions to the others: Virgil, Roman, Logan, Janus

Impressions from looking through the playlist: I think I recognise more of these titles upfront (but not necessarily bands), which isn’t that surprising given that it’s Patton, so I was expecting there’d be some more overlap with my/my mums music taste than there would be with Virgil’s. We shall see if that holds up.

1: ‘Campfire Song Song’, by (from??) Spongebob Squarepants. I knew this one (unsurprisingly) and it was Also on my list of ‘songs I expect to hear in their playlists’ after rewatching the q&a. I’m pretty sure ‘I Am the Walrus’ isn’t on here which is sad because that joke was iconic, but also completely valid. This song did not make it onto my 32 hour playlist, as spongebob does not have enough Nostalgia™ for me that I could put up with listening to it on even just a semi regular basis.

2: ‘Turnaround’, by Hans Zimmer, Camille. This was a bop! It’s on my 32 hour playlist now, and gave me happy vibes as expected from a Patton themed playlist. Made me sway/chair dance while I was listening so that was fun. I feel like it’s gonna be stuck in my head at some stage in the future. Only reason it’s not in the ten hour playlist is because it’s from a movie, but this might end up being one of my Exceptions to that rule for the playlist. We shall have to see.

3: ‘I Got a Name- Stereo Version’, Jim Croce. I liked this, but only in a ‘I wouldn’t skip it’ way not in a ‘Imma add it to the 32 hour playlist’ way. I didn’t vibe with the singing style enough. Still fairly boppy tho.

4: ‘Oranges’, by Lawrence. I haven’t heard this song in ages, and I kinda like it! It made it onto the 32 hour playlist, but I wouldn’t go out of my way to specifically play it again.

5: ‘I Don’t Wanna Pray’, by Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros. This gave me very old timey-feels, and felt very Patton, but I didn’t love it. Probably wouldn’t skip it if it came up in a future playlist, it just wasn’t the style of music I tend to enjoy. Had a good beat though, I could imagine doing tap dance to it!

6: ‘New Soul’, by Yael Naim. This song made me wanna whistle/hum along to the lalas, and I’m not quite sure what that means in terms of level of enjoyment, but vibed with it! It’s on the 32 hour playlist now.

7: ‘Better Together’, by Jack Johnson. I wasn’t sure I’d like this when it first started, but the singing drew me in and I added it to the 32 hour playlist. I didn’t love it enough for the ten hour one though, but given my initial thoughts it being on the 32 hour one is a Surprising Comeback

8: ‘Vienna’, by Billy Joel. I couldn’t tell u when I last listened to a Billy Joel song (actually thats a lie, it was in a twitch sings stream) but, well. It’s Billy Joel. I was always gonna be reminded I like this song enough to add it to the 32 hour playlist.

9: ‘It’s You I Like’, by Ellie Schmidly. This song??? Made me s o f t. It’s in the 32 hour playlist. I’ll probably listen to it if I get insecure at any point in the future. I’ll also send it to my best friend if she gets insecure at any point in the future. It’s that soft.

10: ‘Little Shadow’, by Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Those of you who have read my reaction to Virgil’s playlist will remember that I really liked the acoustic version of soft shock, and in fact went to yeah yeah yeahs album to find the original only to realise my sister used to listen to them. At that point I skipped through a bunch of their songs to see if I thought I liked them from the snippets I heard. This is one that I was mostly eh on initially, b u t after listening to the entire song I like it more! Not anywhere near as much as I liked soft shock though, so it’s only on the 32 hour playlist, and I probably won’t specifically seek it out in the future.

11: ‘Sad’, by Alexander 23. The title of this one made me wanna hug Patton (and the lyrics even more when I realised what it was about), but it fit really well into my music taste by being a Sad Bop™. I really like Sad Bops™. My favourite singer (MIKA) sings a lot of Sad Bops™. This also hit close to home, lyric wise, which is why it’s not on the shorter playlist despite my love of Sad Bops™

12: ‘Oh Heart’, by Tank and The Bangas. I love the artists name, and when it started I immediately was Intrigued. I added it to my 32 hour playlist, but deemed it to be Too Unusual to fit the 10 hour playlist. Otherwise I’d be considering putting it on there, but I didn’t love it enough for it to be an exception.

13: ‘The Flame’, by Andrew Huang. I’ve actually watched a few of Andrews youtube vids, and I’m pretty sure I’m subbed to him, so my enjoyment of this song was not a massive shock. I actually decided,,,, I liked it enough to add it to the 10 hour playlist!! I know!! A song that I really liked that actually fit my additional criteria for that one!! I’d make a third playlist of ‘songs I really like that don’t fit that criteria’ but it’d be almost all of the 32 hour playlist so it’s not worth the effort sjfjdk. There’s a reason that criteria exists.

14: ‘Landslide’, by Fleetwood Mac. This is another I haven’t heard in ages, but wasn’t that surprised I enjoyed enough for it to make it onto the 32 hour playlist.

15: ‘Float On’, by Ben Lee. I didn’t mind this, and immediately realising he was Aussie was cool and also reassured me that I can recognise my own accent (as sometimes I Doubt or worry that they’re actually kiwi), but I didn’t love it. Whether or not I skip it in the future will be entirely determined by what mood I’m in

16: ‘With A Little Help From My Friends’, by The Beatles. Let’s be real. Who doesn’t love The Beatles. They’re The Beatles. This immediately got added to the 32 hour playlist. It’s also very fitting for Patton, even if I’m still slightly disappointed there’s no ‘I Am the Walrus’.

17: ‘What Makes The World’, by The New Respects. I really liked this!! I actually added it to the ten hour playlist as well!!! I know!!! It’s almost like Pattons music taste is slightly more ‘conventional’ and also similar to mine than Virgil’s and therefore fits my ‘normal people music’ criteria as well as my ‘must really like’ one!!

18: ‘Somewhere Over The Rainbow_What A Wonderful World’, by Israel Kamakawiwo’ole. I liked this, but not as much as the originals. It still made it to the 32 hour playlist though!!! I’d add the originals as well but I don’t like the songs enough to be bothered right now. I like how he did the mixing of the songs though, I didn’t even fully realise it was happening at first! Also I really hope I didn’t misspell his last name.

19: ‘So Long’, by Zooey Deschanel, M Ward. I was very glad to see Winnie the Pooh music on here as Patton did say it was his favourite Disney film, and also Nostalgia™. It made its way onto my 32 hour playlist but I wouldn’t go out of my way to listen to it unless I wanna indulge in said Nostalgia™ for a while.

Final thoughts: Surprisingly, despite my initial impressions, I think I actually knew less of this playlist going in than Virgil’s, if only because I recognised less of the bands and didn’t have any ‘Surprise, this song is one u heard a lot as a tiny child’ moments. I think I liked it overall more than Virgil’s, but the specific songs I liked I liked less than my favourites from Virgils. Favourite song would be Turnaround, (which I eventually decided was good enough to go against my Rules™, as I did with Be Calm from Virgils playlist), followed by What Makes The World, then either Oh Heart or The Flame. 15/19 got added to the 32 hour playlist and 3 to the 10 hour one!

Note: I just realised that one of the songs, ‘Golden Slumbers’ by Ben Folds, isn’t available for me, probably because of my region, which is why it’s missing from this list in my reactions. I had found it odd that there were only 19 songs, but I think my computer automatically hides songs I can’t play unlike my phone. I found it on YouTube and I do like it, but probably wouldn’t have added it to my 32 hour playlist if I’d had the chance. I just wouldn’t skip it in the future

@thatsthat24

[all-things-are-nothing-to-me]

Becoming Animal: My Feral Individualism

When first considering what it is to be an anarchist, or if not to be an anarchist then to be someone embracing anarchy – which some people might call being an anarchist – my awareness is immediately drawn to my body and the space that my body occupies.

This usually begins by thinking about my feet. I find these attached to my legs. My legs are attached to my groin. After this, I find my torso, with these arms and hands attached. I cannot find my head visually until I use a mirror, and even then, I am seeing a reflected image – though of course, I can feel my head with my hands.

I have a sensually immediatist experience of being this body. My power is located in the flesh that I am, the flesh that is located here. I can use these hands to form a fist and punch anyone I wish to. My mouth can sing songs of wild beauty, or voice poetry as perception attack. These feet can stamp on badger traps – the only beautiful cages are destroyed cages.

Sartre said, “(m)an is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does”. This body that I am condemned to be – the flesh that is my immediate power – I feel as my freedom. My sensation of freedom starts somewhere within my lungs and muscles, along my skin, and throughout my brain and nervous system – though I cannot trace exactly where it starts or ends. I have felt a great sense of freedom when walking across the fields and scattered patches of woodland, across the hills on Briton where I live. With this, I have felt tremendous sorrow for how violated the world (I am immersed within and am an Extension of) is by Leviathan, as I have stared out across valleys and out into the distance. One of the most intense feelings of freedom I have ever experienced has been to remove all my clothing when accompanied only by trees, squirrels, and birds, and to dance with them, as fellow beings who are primordially free but violated by Leviathan. Kafka said “(y)ou are free, and that is why you are lost” – I agree somewhat, but I am only lost because civilisation dis-places me, as it violates the world I am.

This body, that I am condemned to, is caught though, in a perpetual paradox, which seems equally inescapable. In one desperate sense, I am alone in my unique body, singular and fundamentally me. In another sense, I am immersed within and an Extension of a multiplicity, which is the world I experience, first as the immediate body I sensually am, and second through language and the world of reified forms.

The image of this paradox is simple. I am stood naked under tree cover, unique, singular, an individual. I take a breath and the world enters into my body. I look at the sunlight as it shimmers through the leaves above me, and the world enters my Being through my visual field. The smell of the stream passes my nostrils, and as I breathe out, I become the world.

Caught in this schismatic abyss, I find myself compelled towards a practice of individualism. Why individualism, rather than collectivism? My body is often found within the machinery of Leviathan which is that collective known as society. The ultra-left collectivists and supporters of communisation would whisper in my ear that I am duty bound to the means-of-production of Leviathan and would seek to draw me into their economic-politics. But I’d say that projects, such as Tiqqun and others, which seek to synthesis communisation theory with anarchist praxis, are little more than bad faith preachers, as they locate freedom exclusively within the domain of society and deny the immediate power and freedom of their flesh.

To me society is little more than a cage seeking to cage itself within itself, building walls to keep the world out, chaining itself to these walls, masking its face to hide its ugliness, while seeking to totalise its presence. The form this cage takes is technology. Clothing, ploughs, skyscrapers, roads, televisions, computer screens and so on – all machinic totalitarian repression, as an attempt to deny the freedom of the world. To society, the beasts of the world, the rivers, the forests and even the light of the sun, must be made tame, chained to it, and (basically) collectivised.

This is all to mask a psychic-lack civilisation both preaches and attempts to hide as it tries to mask the strange schism with modes of desiring-production. We are told daily that we are cut off from God but must build icons to God to hide this. We are told that we are cut off from utopia but must seek to build utopia to hide this. We are told that the idea of what we lack is what we desire, so we must build and produce and progress, in the great meliorist sublimation of desire.

My experience of this phenomenon is that repression and sublimation of the flesh is the mode of production of the desiring-machines of Leviathan/civilisation/society. Normalisation, conformity and other forms of collectivisation are the basis of this production narrative.

Normalisation through desiring machines becomes the violation of the world, that I find my flesh in a paradoxical (non-)holism with. The wild world of tribes, beasts and forests becomes the weird, as the farm, city, politics, markets and all other aspects of the machine of Leviathan become the norm. Normalising The Earth, As The Violation Of Anarchy would seem an apt title for a history of civilisation as ecological and psychic repression.

The collective requires normalisation and for the communised machine to work, self-repression is necessary. This seems abundantly obvious to me. Freaks, homosexuals, Jews, gipsies, the mad and others who are different, all must be normalised – whether that be through brute oppression or through recuperation. Both of brute oppression and recuperation imprison the different. Spaces, social, ecological and psychic, are required to go through the totalitarian hegemonic process of forced-sameness – an obvious inevitable failure, as everything is difference and different.

Even the most autonomous of Marxist projects require normalisation for communisation to be possible. All civilisations necessitate the mechanical reproduction of the same. The collective is sameness and sameness is capital.

Buildings as far the eye can see, all built with uniformed sameness. Vast monocultures of crops infest lands, where forests of diverse communities once stood. Nations under one flag and one ideology colonise and territorialise, to bring the world under the icon of their theocracy. Markets filled with slaves who are the same as those coins, which are all apparently identical. In the unity of the collective, normalisation is the process of becoming-the-same.

There is an unspoken authoritarian structural racism and speciesism within the majority of projects that look to promote autonomous-collectivist projects. Anglo-Americanised-European leftist moral and structural control has to be contained at all points, as they must control the narrative. All land projects must be part of the same narrative of the autonomous-revolutionary. Any groups or individuals who attempt anything else must be deemed illegitimate and cast aside. I have found this in revolutionary projects such as It’s Going Down and other similar spaces.

Even non-agrarian horticulturalist and permaculture projects rely on collectivist normalisation and anthropocentric control. The appearance of polycultural diversity is kept under the hegemonic presence of repression and sublimation.

One machine. One God. One revolution. One people. One species (really). All living the same way to live.

In a world where there is good and evil, right and wrong, there can only be one right answer. As such all answers must be the same. We must all know the same answer because it is the right answer. If it is not the case that all voice the same answer then good people must correct the wrong to erase evil from the world. Even in liberal spaces that like to hold the appearance of plurality, this is only done within the goodly totalitarianism of the democratic-society – the nicest oppression is the good oppression.

The dogma of society is fundamentally that the normal answer is the good and right answer. As such, we all should be normal if we wish to be good. This keeps everything the same – or at least within the image of sameness – and keeps the machine running smoothly.

I find this continually within all politics. To the Nazi/fascist the desiring-machine of normalisation is enforced under the images of unity through flags and races. To the Communist, the desiring-machine of normalisation is enforced under the image of the proletariat worker under the image of unity in class. To the liberal, the desiring-machine of normalisation is enforced under the image of unity in rights and under the law.

All normal. All the same. Unity in identity. Identity in unity.

(While I have, for most of my life, been far closer to the identity I have attached to who I am as someone from a Jewish family, I was raised in a state of being caught between united identities – one half of my family being Catholic (but with whom I have very little connection to). When I learnt during my childhood of the ugliness of historical events, like the Holocaust, born out of nationalist identity politics, I grew to despise collectivist rhetoric more and more.

For the sake of authenticity, and I say this from a position of anti-speciesism and rejection of species-being, it would be untrue of me to deny the connection between my disgust at the sight of Jewish people caged by the Nazis and my revulsion towards all other cages, such as farms, badger traps and zoos.)

Being good and right necessitates being perfect. If we are made in God’s perfect image, as machine-made reproductions, then logically the collective and those who embrace its image are perfect. Perfection is the standard.

All the houses have to be perfect in their sameness. Everyone must have perfect manners. We must all dress perfectly. It goes on and on. Perfect normal lives in a machine that runs perfectly, so long as everyone is normal.

As cyborg culture infests our psychic space more and more, perfection becomes more and more of a cage. If it isn’t perfection as a beautiful, successful, popular person, then it is perfection as a fucked up and depressed screwup, with 2 kids, who is trying their hardest and who is oh so brave on Instagram. All must be perfect. Perfect is God’s image and we must be normal, as to be perfect is to be normal. It is normal to be perfect – or at least to be bound by the image of perfection.

Whether it’s through religious, political, monarchical, celebrity or wherever else within this culture you find icons to be worshipped; everywhere I look people continually seem to be bound to images of perfection. This is no less the case within radical groups and projects – probably more, if honest. Between the clashes of varying factions and projects, you find perfectionistic ideologues striving towards ideological perfection.

Really, why wouldn’t they? They know the way everything ought to be. Everything ought to be perfect. Everything ought to be the same, as perfect.

This is typified by the organisationalist narrative, where all members of a group have to sing from the same perfect hymn book in cult-like unity. (I’m thinking here in particular of Marxists and Jensenites, whose plans for the world necessitate communisation and the normalisation of all life.) The organisation of radical praxis is where radicals start attempting to control the world – normalise it to their standard of perfection – and the point where personality cults and hierarchies form.

The phenomenon of normalisation, organisation, perfection, sameness, unity and the repression and sublimation that goes hand in hand with all this psychic-tyranny and ecological violation, are revolting to me. I am immediately filled with a desire to rebel when I encounter them. I experience them as attempts to cage and clothe the freedom of my flesh.

This is why I take an individualist approach to my activities. But my individualism is not reductive.

As I am caught in that strange schism, where I cannot locate entirely at one point I stop and the world begins with each passing breath, I have come to a position some might wish to frame as “spiritual” – though I’d describe it more as mystical, as I feel more drawn towards fleshy physicalist ontological pictures, which are somewhat paradoxical and that language never seems an adequate tool for articulating. This mystical experience is that which I mentioned earlier – of being a lonely singular individual within a plurality of beings and processes while being equally inescapably immersed within, connected to and an Extension of a monist Being and process. This mystical experience of life as an individual is why I find my individualism most when I abandon the collective, which seeks to renounce Life, in favour of desiring-production, and embrace Life, as the world I am immersed within. It is a horrifying, awe-inspiring and beautiful experience that is undeniably absurd, but I’d be lying if I claimed anything different.

In both of my two published books, I have sought to articulate some of this, as well as in other publishing projects. Whenever I do though I instantly find that this medium of written word fails. I am convinced that this is something that cannot be taught or shown but has to be lived. As such, when I write I am ultimately wishing to encourage whoever is reading to live.

The question I arrive at now though is – what does it mean to live at the end of History? What is life on a seemingly dying planet, which might succeed in destroying the cancerous body that occupies it, or might die of civilisation (taking the cancer with it)? How can I talk about individualism in a space where individualism largely means collectivism, by the standards of society, and where collectivism means mass-suicide?

When confronted by these questions, I am instantly reminded of how tiny I am. When I look up at the stars at night, I am confronted by so much wonder and mystery and beauty, and find myself as a bizarre mammal, at the edge of the anthropocene. Cultivating any answer is largely an utterly absurd endeavour. But as all point of reason for any living being to continue living appears absurd, when all Life ultimately leads to death, decay and rebirth as some other singular individual being within this colossal monist process, which hasn’t stopped anyone else, I figure fuck it – I’ll keep on going.

Where to begin though? My instinct, when starting to think about my individualism, is, to begin with the flesh that I individually am; my arms, legs, back, chest, genitals, head, mind, and all that encompasses my body. This is the place where I initially locate my freedom, from where my power emerges.

I describe it as my body, though it is not really 'my body', as a body that I am in possession of outside of me the owner. This would be the way that anarcho-capitalists and libertarians would frame their relationship to the bodies they are – as self-owned vessels for use within the market. From this enframing, their concept of the self and individuality is reductively tied to that organ of the Leviathan that Diogenes would masturbate in. It is not necessary to comment on that area of thought here – I only mention it to state that this is not what I will be in any way aligning myself with before I go on.

From my feet, the body I am takes exquisite joy in feeling the ground underneath me. I have stood barefoot and felt the eros of gravity as my body has found itself firmly supported by the earth. This singular sensation of primordial love, where the earth is both pulling me towards it and supporting me so that I may stand with firm footing, is one where my individuality within the world is affirmed as pure presence. I know that I am stood here; this is where I stand, and the earth which I love, and which loves me, can support the weight of me. From this, I can grow and be strong, and fierce, and powerful, and feral.

As I walk through woodlands, across lands claimed by agriculture, over the roads which scar the surface of the land I find myself upon, by the edges of cliffs that signify to me the edge of my world, and through concrete expanses where the practice of wage slavery is most prevalent; my legs with my feet are the centre of my power and freedom, while walking, running and jumping. My legs have run across rocks by the coast, and have been used to climb trees. The legs and feet below my torso have, on occasion, found that they are stamping down upon badger traps, so as to destroy the revolting cages. The power I find in these aspects of my being enables me to be move, to dance, to smash, and so much more.

Then there is the core of this body that is the flesh I individually am – my torso, shoulders, arms and hands. From this core my will/Life/power manifests. If anyone were to try to attack me, here is where they would likely strike. From here, my arms can muster the power to strike back. I can take rocks in my hands, and from the power that flows through this body, propel them at any enemy I choose. My torso, arms and hands are the centre of my power when I pick up a guitar and attempt to emulate great flamenco and blues musicians. My hands are the centre of my power when I write my experience of the world for those who find that they are reading words I have written. This space is the location of so much of my creativity and destructiveness.

My head, my eyes, ears, mouth, nose, the brain that amplifies the mindedness of my body, my hair and teeth; from this space I take the world I am immersed in into the singular individual I am. I think. I breathe. I sing. I have screamed to trees whose tops could not hear me, hoping they would scream back and I would hear.

I could deconstruct this body further into various organs and would probably start to sound like I was quoting sections of Fight Club (again) – “I am Julian’s lungs. Without me Julian would not be able to breathe” or “I am Julian’s ability to care about economics. I exist only in as much as Julian is revolted by what economics is used for”. But as far as this simple schizoanalytic complexification goes, this is as far as I’m willing to describe here.

But as much as I describe it, the description is not the body. This is my body. I am my body. I am here, and you are entirely there. So how the fuck am I going to give you any meaningful sense of the individuality that is here, when you are there?!

I have caught glimpses of great individualists through the histories that surround them. Renegades, artists, rebels, writers, poets, philosophers, pirates, mystics and others whom society might call mad. While my awareness of their individuality might be through the collectivist usurpation of their creativities and destructivities, I find myself aesthetically and instinctively drawn towards the idea of these individuals. The madness they signify resonates and harmonises where my desire feels drawn to. Thoreau, Wilde, Jeffers, Novatore, Armand, Camus, Masson, Bey, Stirner and others whom I find beauty in are heroes whom I have no real connection to. All I have of their power and presence is faint images upon the backdrop of History – the ugliest narrative I am yet to come across.

I could tell you of my artistic attacks and of lone-wolf hunt sabotaging. I could tell you about the every-day acts of psychological warfare I regularly conduct around domesticated humans. I could tell you about my writings and publishing projects. I could tell you about my music and the inability to go for sustained periods without singing. I could tell you about my day job, and of driving along the roads I hate that scar the land I love and that I feel loves me.

As the collective dominates the space that surrounds me, I find the anarchic freedom of my individuality in moments where time ceases to hold any relevance or meaning. This is when every-Thing slips away, and I am immersed within the primordial now. But I would be lying if I said that I do not ever find myself caught in the cage that is the Reality of Leviathan – when I find myself trapped in time and History/progress/civilisation. Like the land I love, am an Extension of, and are immersed in, I am violated by Leviathan, and this is why I find myself engaged in mad and absurd rebellion.

Every time I breathe, I take in polluted air. The food manufactured by the industries of this culture has to be treated through all different types of alchemy to be desirable. The anthrophonic sounds of the urban-space machine are all but intolerable. The agriculture and industry that violates the earth. The monetary system that seeks to chain me to the collective and its markets. The disgust and revulsion this inspires in me is a sensation that worlds will never reflect. I feel a desire to break the chains of normalisation, to not be manufactured into some object that is the same as others within its category.

If my body is the first place I find my individuality manifesting from; my revulsion for society – the herd, as Nietzsche (rightly) described – is the second place I find this sensation. My hatred for society sits beside my love for the earth, wild-Being, the land, all ecological processes and other terms that basically mean the flesh of the world.

I am saddened that nationalists, patriots and others who idolise Leviathan, and so hate that which is wild, have made it such a taboo to discuss the notion of loving the land you live upon within radical discourse. The wounds that fascism and Nazism have inflicted, as those realities sought to violate the earth with their progression, are ones that are not yet really healed. Regardless though, while I have been accused of being a reactionary eco-fascist by collectivists who cannot see past their prejudices, I feel a great love for the land underneath my feet and I apologise to no one for this.

With my love for the land, rather than agriculture, or even well-intentioned horticulture and permaculture, I desire the emergence of feralculture, that opens spaces for wild-Being. This earth that I am is screaming for it. The trees, birds, hurricanes, and countless others, whose individuality defies communisation, are screaming for the destruction of Leviathan.

As I come back to my love of the land, I find my mind turning towards the untamed, the wild and the inhuman. This is a space of dark mystical experience, where Stirner’s notion of unman and Nietzsche’s ubermensch feel equally relevant. The abhuman is an immediately accessible means of rebelling against the repression of normalisation and sublimation. The sensation of being an anarchist, an individualist, a rebel, feral, from this, is a weird space of becoming-animal, where freedom and individuality are untamed spaces. Like the Lycan, who is part man and part wolf, in this way, I am best suited neither to the forest nor the city but find myself drawn to, and caught between, both of them.

This is where my individualist anarchy finds itself in the now that I am here. It might be mad, absurd, or paradoxical, but this is where I am and the Where I am. I have likely, again, failed at my attempt to articulate a sensation whose immediacy to my being is ineffable. Perhaps if I had written this as a poem, or had attempted to paint it, or compose a musical arrangement, maybe then I would have succeeded – I doubt it. If you haven’t experienced this – though you obviously could only experience something similar at best (not experience being the same) – I doubt any of this will resonate with you. If you have found this utter nonsense, please just disregard me as one of those mad individuals whom you pay little notice to.

[rkmeiqi]

—april 6th, 2020. weekly idol recording.

their first time appearing on weekly idol, they don’t even get an entire episode to themselves.

meiqi supposes this should be expected; they’re still rookies and it’s not like they’ve proved their variety skills in some over-the-top way to deserve a show all to themselves. they have two new members as well, so and*roma’s new dynamic is fairly unknown to the public. 

maybe this is a test. more people on set surely means more chaos, and chaos makes for great entertainment. if anything goes wrong, the attention can easily be redirected to another member of either group. but meiqi doesn’t want that. she doesn’t want viewers to take their eyes off and*roma—off her—for even a second. if this truly is a test, she’s not too good at those. but if it’s a competition (which it totally is, thank god), then there’s no way she will lose.

and*roma’s introduction is already miles better than bigmap or whatever the hell their name is, she thinks. they had each chosen disney songs to sing a few days ago, paired with little actions that have the hosts and other guests laughing. personally, meiqi finds it amazing that wendy can sing a whole new world while being carried magic-carpet style, even after all the times they’ve practiced this skit. 

at one point, meiqi gets called out. she keeps staring in the general direction of the boy group, and she knows this, but she can’t stop. 

“i see meiqi can’t keep her eyes off benji,” one of the hosts wiggles his eyebrows. 

and it’s true, but not for any reason anyone on the set could think of. sure, the red-haired boy is plenty talented and funny, and maybe in another life, meiqi would think he’s cute enough to give him her phone number after the taping. however, that is certainly not the case right in that moment.

“his hair reminds me of a really red spicy rice cake,” meiqi says honestly, her mouth watering just the slightest. “it makes me hungry.”

it takes a while for them to move onto the competition part of the episode, but she’s immediately grateful. they have to show off personal talents, and meiqi brags about her ability to make anything look sexy. the hosts challenge her with different, ridiculous poses and a few cute, contradictory props. it doesn’t go as planned, but the laughter that she receives as a response makes the attempt feel worthwhile.

(and*roma wins, mostly because of the other members, but meiqi likes to think she played a part in this victory).

the dance segment feels like it was made for her. she doesn’t think twice when springing from her stool at the first note (running straight for the center, crashing into one of the boys and probably one of her members, too, on the way), and her body immediately moves to the music she recognizes.

meiqi knows most of the choreographies: big-name seniors, iconic songs, and even lesser-known songs. there’s only two that she doesn’t know, but she freestyles it based on what she sees from other participants and from how the music makes her feel. 

(they win again, this time by a landslide, because, herself aside, and*roma has amazing dancers).

for the cleopatra game, meiqi doesn’t participate, but she enjoys it from the sidelines. they’ve sent out their best vocalists, and quite frankly, meiqi has immense faith in and*roma’s vocal line.

deservedly so. wendy absolutely destroys the boys with a note that reminds meiqi of dolphins. upon the announcement of yet another win for the group, she immediately runs to her fellow member and jumps on her, legs wrapping around her torso to hold herself up for the celebration.

when they are deemed winners of the entire competition, meiqi believes that, if this was a test, it might be the first one she’s ever passed.

[howaminotinthestrokesyet]

Mythical Music History Yearbook: 1994

This series discusses a particular year in the history of music. It focuses on one song, one album, and one concert or music video that helped to define that year and in the process change music.

Definitely Maybe by Oasis

This album was one of the fastest selling debuts in England at the time. Oasis were the leaders in sparking a revival in pop music that is known as Britpop. They would get into a fierce rivalry with the band Blur led by Damon Albarn, who is now mostly known for his animated band, Gorillaz. The album shot straight to number one on the British album charts, but only reached number 58 in America. Perhaps, this is why I did not get into Oasis until their second album. The themes explored on this album emerged as much more positive than the fatalistic stylings of grunge. In a tragic twist of irony, Kurt Cobain would commit suicide in 1994 signaling the official demise of grunge. Those bands obviously still existed, but no longer would that label be used in the future. Groups like Pearl Jam and Soundgarden were now referred to as alternative, not grunge. This was indeed the best album from Oasis because it was not weighted down by any amount of filler. The deep cuts are just as good as the singles. Eventually, there would be backlash towards Oasis with the one criticism being songwriter Noel Gallagher had virtually plagiarized the Beatles. This was true, while Oasis never disguised their love for the band from the name of the song “Wonderwall” to the cover of Definitely Maybe to even naming a child after a member of the Beatles. I once heard a comparison on this criticism. Numerous bands over the years had tried to mimic the Beatles songwriting, but Noel Gallagher got the brunt of it simply because he was the best to ever do it. The amazing thing was that he took influence from not only the Beatles, but another band. The Bee Gees had been a very strong influence on how he wrote songs. Yes, the band that came to the forefront with the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack. Definitely Maybe is also the only album that Noel Gallagher will speak about with incredible fondness. He looks upon it as his greatest work. On the other hand, What’s the Story Morning Glory, he once said in an interview that it helped to pay for a couple of his houses. Gallagher also mentioned that the album helped to finance his cocaine habit for over 10 years. Related to Definitely Maybe, he makes the startling observation that “Cigarettes and Alcohol” was the first top 10 song about cocaine. I tend to see it as a grain of salt situation because there were a lot of people who did not know that song was about the drug. The song “Live Forever” stands up today as one of the greatest rock ‘n’ roll songs in the 1990’s. The song even makes lists of all time greatest rock songs as well. There is a feeling of optimism, hope, and the future upon listening to the song. This optimism within the catalog of Oasis is ironic based on the incredible amount of negative drama surrounding the band‘s long-standing feud between Liam and Noel Gallagher. Today, when you hear the two brothers talk, a sense of optimism would not be one of the things that you would think of actually upon hearing them.

Say It Ain’t So by Weezer

For the most part, this is the song that the average music fan will think of when someone brings up Weezer’s name. “Buddy Holly” the music video pretty much put them on the map, but in truth this was the better song. The background of making it is quite an interesting story. Rivers Cuomo had pretty much written all of the music for and knew the name for the song, but no other lyrics. He would use his personal story as the context for the song. As he sings, “This bottle of Heinie is crowding my icebox.” The line is a direct reference to seeing a bottle of beer in his refrigerator as a teen, which he thought meant that his mother and stepfather were getting a divorce. Cuomo‘s real father had been a very bad alcoholic, who divorced his mother at the age of four. The line, “This bottle of Stevens,”

actually is talking about his stepfather, whose first name is Steven. The line, “Flip on the telly and wrestle with Jimmy,” meant coming home after school turning on the television and wrestling on the floor with his brother. The crazy thing was that upon its release the song actually brought him and his biological father back together. Yes, his father had become a born-again Christian just like the song. The background vocals in the song were sung by bassist Matt Sharp, who left the band in 1998. This was the first time he had ever sung on a record at all. He would later take a little bit more credit then he deserved for his contributions to the band.The original release of the song included a part with guitar feedback that was not included on the album, but had been later released on the single. The band decided to place that version of the song on the album as well, but they had already sold 3 million copies of the record. Today, if you buy the deluxe version of the album, then you will receive both versions. In 2015, rapper Asher Roth sampled this song on the single “I Love College,” but apparently Rivers Cuomo did not clear the sample. This is interesting considering the fact that he did tracks with artists like B.O.B. as early as 2010. Roth was able to release the song using a remixed version of the song, but not the original apparently. Perhaps, Cuomo wanted to listeners to get the gist of the song, but not the actual song. The most interesting use of the song was the mashup album entitled Jay-Zeezer, which combined this song with December 4th by Jay-Z. I actually remixed the song myself because the mashup did not include a short verse of “Say It Ain’t So” that I thought should be included.

Sabotage by The Beastie Boys

This music video was directed by Spike Jonze, who coincidentally directed “Buddy Holly” by Weezer. In the 1990’s, Jonze developed a reputation for cutting edge, inventive videos. Unfortunately, the success did not translate into feature films. The thing that strikes me is that this song is really remembered as being much more popular than it was at the time of its release. The actual song was only moderately successful never even reaching the top 10 on the Billboard charts. The music video is actually what sent the song into the stratosphere. In the video, the Beastie Boys parody 1970’s television shows like Hawaii Five-0, The Streets of San Francisco, Baretta, and Starsky and Hutch. As a kid, I remember watching it and thinking what the hell is this show and where do I watch it. You were given no explanation as to where this came from, which shocked the hell out of me because everyone loved it. The odd thing seemed to me that people were not really sure what they actually loved and why this was hilarious. Upon airing on MTV, it is worth noting that the Beastie Boys had to cut three scenes from the video because they were deemed too violent. At the MTV Video Awards that year, this video was nominated in five categories and lost every time. Michael Stipe of REM was interrupted during the show by MCA dressed as Nathaniel Hornblower, one of his alter ego‘s, to protest the fact that the Beastie Boys did not win once. An interesting take on this little scene emerges as to why the Beastie Boys were not vilified like Kanye West. This loss should have come as no surprise to the group. MTV had a growing reputation as being extremely poor judges of what is cool. I would always think they can air music videos, but they sure as hell cannot judge them. The Video Music Awards became more and more about propping up the bands that made advertisers happy, not the fans. The fact that they became exclusively a reality television channel was absolutely no surprise to me. Music simply acted as the means to an end for the network. One thing that does dishearten me in a way are the Spike Jonze music videos that became iconic tend to completely overshadow the merits of the song. I think this very thing happens with Weezer’s “Buddy Holly,” where people only remember Happy Days, instead of the unique qualities to the song. In the 2018 Beastie Boys autobiography, The Beastie Boys Book, Amy Poehler reviewed the music video. ”There would be no Anchorman, no Wes Anderson, no Lonely Island, and no channel called Adult Swim if this video did not exist.” Let’s be honest. That is not true. I love this music video, but that is not its legacy.

[mainstreettalk]

My Top 5 Disneyland Attractions

Disneyland is home to many fun attractions and rides for guests of all walks of life. When you go to Disneyland, one of the hardest decisions to make during your trip is choosing which attractions to visit first and which attractions you’ll have to skip on. So, here are the attractions that I personally deem are the top 5 attractions that every guest should experience at least once during their trip.

5. Mickey and the Magical Map

Image by D23

It’s important to note that though many guests go to Disneyland to enjoy the rides and food, the live shows really should not be skipped out on. Mickey and the Magical Map is a musical live theatre show located at Fantasyland Theatre near the back of Disneyland park. This show features the titular icon of the Walt Disney Company, Mickey Mouse, but also incorporates some of Disney’s most popular characters, including Rapunzel, Mulan, Stitch, and many others. I could go on and on about how much I love this show, but there are a few distinct characteristics that make this one stand out above the rest. The fact that so many of Disney’s most recognized ballads and anthems are performed by live actors and singers really makes you feel like you’re immersed in Disney canon. The dancers have incredibly creative routines and perform them flawlessly. The show uses a visually stunning blend of live characters and set pieces as well as a digital background that’s really able to capture the magic that Walt Disney had originally intended for all guests of his park to experience. This show runs only about 20 minutes long and it’s a great place to just sit down, relax, and keep yourself entertained. Personally, I think this is the best live show at the park, even topping the live Frozen show at the Hyperion Theater in DCA. Mickey and the Magical Map is definitely worth your short amount of time to go visit and watch and it will really help round out your whole Disney experience.

4. Storybook Land Canal Boats

Image by Disney

The next attraction on this list is one of the original 13 attractions that debuted on July 17, 1955 when Walt Disney first opened the gates to Disneyland park. The Storybook Land Canal Boats take the guests through a calm, narrated boat ride on a river that winds through various detailed dioramas of iconic buildings, scenes, and sets from Disney films. Some of my personal favorites are Pinnochio’s village, the sultan’s palace from Aladdin, and a London-set park from Peter Pan. Though the ride starts with the boats entering Monstro the whale’s mouth, it’s all smooth sailing from then on. It’s sad to see that many of the original 13 rides that Walt himself had a hand in creating- including these canal boats- have lost their popularity to the newer, flashier rides at the park. However, this is a ride that guests shouldn’t sweep under the rug just because it isn’t thrilling; the lines are usually short and move fast and the ride itself is a substantial length, so there’s no worries about you or your children getting antsy waiting in line. This attraction is especially a must-ride for couples- there is a beautiful fairy-light adorned overhang that the boats pass through that is notably stunning when it gets darker outside, and the overall ambiance of the ride itself is very romantic. The Storybook Land Canal Boats is honestly my favorite ride when I just want to sit, rest my feet, and enjoy that nostalgic old-timey Disney feeling you get when you ride classics like these.

3. The Haunted Mansion

Image by Disney

Now we’re finally getting to the E-Ticket attractions. The Haunted Mansion is a celebrated fan favorite attraction at Disneyland, and this is reflected by its often extensive wait times. The thing that makes this attraction- and the next 2 picks- so fun to ride is the level of in-depth immersiveness that the theming of the ride gives to the guests. The exterior facade of this ride is quite possibly the best themed facade in the entire park. It just fits perfectly in the land that it’s in (New Orleans Square) and the antebellum-style of the mansion accurately emulates the large manors of the old South. When guests are taken in, they are immediately thrown into the story of the Mansion before the ride even begins. The guests are placed into what is known as the “stretch room,” where the walls of the room, by an optical illusion (I’ll talk about this in a future post), look to stretch up vertically to show the morbid demises of the portraits hung up on the walls. While this is happening, the prologue of the story is presented by the Ghost Host, who reveals that he himself is the spirit of a corpse that is hanging from the ceiling of the room. It should be noted that the Ghost Host’s voice is done by Paul Frees, a voice actor that is legendary for lending his voice to other Disney attractions like Pirates of the Caribbean, and Adventure Thru Inner Space. After the stretch room, guests are ushered down the hallway that has portraits hung up on the walls that look to be changing or following them. The ride itself includes some of the best of Disney Imagineering, and each scene makes great use of Disney’s animatronics system as well as hybrid-projections. One of the most famous Disneyland characters, the Hat Box Ghost, is from this ride. The Haunted Mansion is a prime example of how perfect theming, memorable characters, and an invigorating story can truly immerse the guests in the fantasy world that it has created. This attraction would be higher up on this list if not for the fact the next two rides are not just my favorite attractions at Disneyland, but are likely my two favorite rides ever.

2. Splash Mountain

Image by Disney

Ever since it debuted in 1989, Splash Mountain has been one of the most popular E-Ticket attractions at the park. Splash Mountain takes the guests on a log-flume ride through “The Laughing Place” and the woods where the Br‘er animals live. The story is based off of the controversial live action Disney film Song of the South (again, I’ll go over the controversy in a future article), and the charming woodland creatures are some of the most entertaining animatronics at the park. The joke, they dance, they sing, and the light-hearted tone of the characters really balances with the scarier, darker part of the ride (The Laughing Place), as well as the large drop down the waterfall. Speaking of the drop, I believe this drop is the biggest drop at Disneyland (not counting DCA) at a height of 52.5 feet, a 45-47 degree angle, and up to 40 miles per hour. Personally, Splash Mountain is far and away my favorite “mountain” at the park, beating out Space Mountain, Big Thunder Mountain, and the Matterhorn. This is objectively the most physically thrilling attraction at Disneyland. Funny personal story about the Splash Mountain ride- I hadn’t ridden this attraction until about a year or two ago since, before that, I was too young/scared to get in line. However, I unknowingly already cherished a part of the ride from a young age- the “Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah” scene during the Disneyland Railroad was my favorite scene during the train ride and I was pleasantly surprised to see that it was actually a scene from Splash Mountain. Disclaimer- this ride will get you wet. I tend to enjoy this attraction the most in the middle of a particularly hot day, and I try to avoid it at night or on colder mornings.

1. Pirates of the Caribbean

Image by Disney

For my number one, absolute top favorite pick of the attractions at Disneyland, the Pirates of the Caribbean ride was a no-brainer for me. Pirates of the Caribbean is often the first ride I’ll run to as soon as I enter the park, and the last one I’ll visit before I leave. There are not enough words to say all the good things that I want to say about this attraction. Aside from being an iconic, classic attraction at Disneyland, PotC features some of the most impressive and quality animatronics to ever come out of Disney Imagineers. It has one of the largest collections of advanced animatronics at any given theme park and has beautifully designed set pieces. The guests are taken on a boat ride through a Louisiana bayou, passing by an old man on his banjo, before being dropped down a waterfall and transported back in time to an era where pirates openly ruled the high seas. The attention to detail in every single scene of this attraction is what truly makes it, in my opinion, the most immersive ride at Disneyland. The guest is truly made to feel as if they are experiencing the battles of the pirates on Isla Tesoro. From the moment you step foot onto the cobblestone pathways of the queue, you instantly feel the connection to the adventure that you’re about to embark on with the characters. The song “Yo Ho (A Pirate’s Life for Me)” plays every now and then during the attraction and, like “It’s a Small World,” it’s a catchy tune that guests will find themselves whistling as they spend the rest of their day at the park. Another thing to note about this attraction is the immediate wave of smell the guests notice when they walk into the building. The famously dubbed “pirate water” scent is one that was so popular that it is one of the things that guests remember about the ride, if nothing else. It truly makes the guest feel as if they are sailing the seas with the crew (although technically, the smell of the pirate water is actually the cleansing chemical Disney puts in their water attractions called bromine). A great thing about the PotC ride is that the ride vehicles are constantly moving and seat approximately 20 guests (5 rows of 4) and sends through about 3,400 guests per hour. This means that the line is consistently moving so you and your young ones will never get too antsy. Though it seems as if I’ve exhausted this attraction of all it could offer, there’s actually one more notable feature about this attraction that makes it stand out from the rest- built right into the attraction is the Blue Bayou restaurant, which is one of the best dining options at the park (and very expensive at that). Though this isn’t a necessity by any means, it is just another unique characteristic of this attraction that makes me love it so much. Though I’m always sad when my day ends at the park, I’m comforted by the fact that I can end the day right by riding Pirates one more time and then, if it’s early enough, grab a snack from the Mint Julep Bar right beside it.

So there you go guys, my top 5 Disneyland attractions of all time. Let me know if you agree, disagree, or if you just want to talk about anything Disney parks related with me!

*Revised 2 Oct 2019

[briangroth27]

Pokémon: Detective Pikachu Review

Pokémon: Detective Pikachu was a fantastic surprise!  I’ve only seen a handful of episodes of the show and never got into the video or card games—Pokémon got big when I thought I was too old for it; basically a too cool for school teenager—but if this movie's any indication of this world, I've missed out. I absolutely loved this! 

Full Spoilers...

Detective Pikachu takes a healthy sampling of Film Noir tropes and tones, infusing the Pokémon world with mystery and intrigue. The murder mystery at play ties into Tim's (Justice Smith) search to reconnect with his father after it's too late and his first steps into both a more dangerous world and a more daring expression of himself perfectly. I really liked the added layer that despite once wanting to be a trainer, Tim had never successfully partnered with a Pokémon. Forcing him to do so upon meeting his father Harry's partner Pikachu (Ryan Reynolds) tied that dashed childhood dream and his regrets about not going with his father to Ryme City or spending more time with him in general perfectly. Tim and Detective Pikachu's relationship was really well-crafted and endearing: it’s obvious they care about each other and their partnership growing pains hit classic buddy cop beats while feeling fresh and being genuinely funny. Both Smith and Reynolds were great, infusing their relationship with just the right mix of comedy, benign-yet-pointed antagonism, and true affection for one another. Smith's extremely talented and does a great job of balancing the sadder parts of Tim's story with his drive to find out what happened to his father, his initial annoyance at Pikachu, his awkwardness around the reporter, and ultimately his discovered confidence and heroism. Similarly, Reynolds hits all the right notes as a Pikachu without a memory saddled with the son of his dead partner, and the fact that he's a CGI creation doesn't prevent Reynolds from fully emoting or feeling completely real (much like his Deadpool mask disproved the "you have to see the actors' face to feel their emotions" theory about superhero films). These two were a great match and I hope we get many more mysteries with this duo!

The reveal at the end, that thanks to one of Mewtwo's (Rina Hoshino and Kotaro Watanabe) abilities Harry was not dead but had been stashed in his partner Pikachu, was a twist I didn't see coming at all! I totally bought that he had died, but the reveal that his disappearance was actually an attempt to save him didn't change the really solid drama his "death" provoked in Tim and Pikachu, nor did it ever feel like a cheap reversal. Tim and Harry still had a lot of issues to work out even after he was brought back, and it was a refreshing change of pace that even Tim's quest to get to know his father didn't change the facts of their estranged relationship. Even after everything they went through, Tim still had to make the choice to stay in Ryme City with Harry instead of going back home to his insurance job. It's not apparent the first time through the film, but Tim using his trainer knowledge to try and help Pikachu in battle was a nice role reversal putting him in the "dad" role for the father who wasn’t in his life. Pikachu's quips and barbs about Tim's lack of experience talking to women, being a detective, etc. also felt appropriately sardonic, but knowing the twist they also come off as an irreverent take on a dad trying to (embarrassingly) help his son out, which is a fun layer. Their familial relationship was very well done in general (even if we actually see very little of them interacting when Harry is fully himself). I also liked the simple fact that they were an interracial family; it's nice to see that without it being a big deal.

The third investigator in the film, Lucy Stevens (Kathryn Newton) was another great addition to the cast. I loved that she was totally competent as a reporter, which complimented both the Film Noir vibe really well (right down to the lighting and camera angles on her introduction) and made her an integral member of Tim and Pikachu's investigation. The fact that she was a low-level blogger at Howard Clifford’s (Bill Nighy) television news empire rather than the reporter she wanted to be added a socially relevant touch to the world in terms of how little a young professional actually makes and how they're treated. It also makes for a light shot at fake news being spouted by broadcast news, since she's the only one who wants to investigate the real issues. Maybe more than any other character, Lucy also feels like a Pokémon animated series character come to life (without ever feeling cartoonish), which makes her integral to bridging the world of the show and games and the live-action format here. She had good chemistry with Smith and I hope she gets to return in any future installments too.

I initially and briefly thought Howard Clifford might be secretly evil, but the movie did a great job of convincing me I was wrong. I believed in his attempts to create a harmonious relationship between humans and Pokémon and totally thought his son Roger (Chris Geere) was undermining his utopia plans for some nefarious purpose. So, I was taken by surprise by the twist that Roger was just a jerk, not evil. The presence of a well-placed Ditto (Suki Waterhouse) also took me completely by surprise! I remembered that Pokémon from the cartoon, but the film cleverly and briefly includes one early on to prep everyone in the audience for their existence and powers so the climactic reveal is set up and earned rather than feeling like it’s completely from left-field. Ditto using its mimicry powers to act as Howard’s human assistant Ms. Norman is not just a great way to misdirect the audience, but also a smart, subtle reflection of both the truth about Tim's dad and Pikachu and of Howard’s ultimate plan to hijack Pokémon bodies to forcibly evolve humanity. 

Howard's evolution plan to use the Pokémon to enhance himself and everyone else at the expense of the animals' autonomy was a solid evil plan. I loved that it stemmed from (and his evil was concealed by) his attempt to save himself from a degenerative disease: they cloaked his intentions in altruistic dreams of living in harmony with Pokémon really well! In fact, the only note I had about the movie was that they could've made this plan a more pointed effort to only evolve the rich or "desired" humans rather than everyone in scattershot fashion. Only wanting to steal the Pokémon's bodies and use them to enhance the prospects of the people he deemed worthy (old white wealthy people, probably) would've been a great comment on current race and class divisions in our society, but trying to forcibly evolve everyone drove the plan into more generic "crazy" territory. It still totally works, but they could've made a statement on top of their already very-entertaining plot. That’s a really minor note, though! I also initially thought it was a little convenient that Howard was not absorbed into Mewtwo like everyone else was pulled into their Pokémon (allowing Tim to get the neural interface off him and reverse the body-snatching), but that could very easily be chalked up to the mechanics of the interface and/or the Howard/Mewtwo psychic connection or the fact that Mewtwo is not a naturally-occurring Pokémon, so this plot convenience ultimately doesn't bother me.

Ryme City was very cool and, like all the best fictional worlds, was a place I’d like to visit. As a newcomer to the franchise, the Pokémon initially feel somewhat like everyday animals so the idea of living with them in a cooperative fashion seemed like kind of a weird idea, but they really sold it and how it would work. The comparisons I saw online to Who Framed Roger Rabbit were well-earned, through the mystery vibe, the lost family member aspect, and the idea of humans coexisting with animated characters (not to mention the overall quality!). The CGI was great and the interactions between humans and Pokémon felt totally natural (and for the vast majority of the time, they looked that way too; there were only one or two moments where the CGI bent the illusion a bit). 

Like me, you don’t need to be well-versed in the world of Pokémon to understand or enjoy what’s going on. I'm sure you'd get more out of the film and you'd probably catch references they included if you were a fan, but the film is plenty enjoyable and engaging even if you've never seen or played Pokémon before. Tim's introductory scene of trying to capture a Pokémon was a nice introduction to his trainer aspirations and inclusion of the central conceit of the show (and universe in general): capturing Pokémon to partner with, train, and battle. The importance of human/Pokémon connection also showed through in that scene beyond illustrating the norms of this society by making it clear that this world hinges on working together rather than going it alone (which ties into Tim and Harry’s fractured family perfectly). Despite Ryme City being a place where battles are outlawed so everyone can live in a more evolved harmony (though I wonder if that's secretly a measure to lure Pokémon there and keep them in pristine health), the film also includes an iconic battle in the underground Pokémon duels. That was a clever way to tie into the seedy Noir vibe while also giving us the first taste of live action Poké-battles from the animated series. The parade balloons were also a fun way to homage the classic, iconic look of the characters.

The writing is clever and funny, the acting is great all around, and the pacing is brisk but they know when to take a moment and let dramatic moments breathe. The music is fun and Pikachu despondently singing the show's theme song was a nice touch, but it would've been cool to hear an orchestral version of that over the climax (or the credits) too. Again, the nods to and touches of Film Noir angles and lighting were really well-done, but the movie is also completely unafraid of breaking that generally more grounded world to be big and bombastic: the film's tone is flexible enough to seamlessly accommodate both styles. I also loved how colorful the world was! The various Pokémon (and the experiments conducted on them) generated a huge variety of challenges for our trio of heroes without feeling like this was all the universe has to offer, so I'm definitely looking forward to further adventures! At the same time, I loved that this has a conclusion and could have totally worked as a solo movie. 

Without a doubt, Pokémon: Detective Pikachu is one of my favorite movies of the year so far! I'm glad I caught it in theaters (even after it having been out for a while) and I can't wait to see it again on home video. If you can still find it in theaters it's definitely worth the trip, but either way you should absolutely check this out!

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