#ftm top education

[answersfromzestual]

I want to talk about something today. Something very important for younger people and newer people coming out.

Research with legitimate sources, aka scholarly articles and medical journals/studies. Wiki is not a good source, people can change info at any point true or untrue.

We want to look for articles with medical and area professionals clearly placing their name in and on the article, or the most reliable sources are called scholarly articles and medical journals/studies, also some gender affirming clinics lay out a lot of information on their websites, most clinics dont mind answering your questions or concerns via email or phone (they may get back to you at a later date). When looking for information, you want peer reviewed medical information. Google has these features that can help narrow down your search for more accurate results. Using quotes around exact words or phrases is a trick to narrow down to more on topic search results.

Also, use Google Scholar (just type "Google scholar" into the search bar to find only actual medical articles and studies. Even lawsuits.

This is the google search bar for scholarly information below:

****READ THE ARTICLE FROM START TO FINISH OR AT LEAST THE PART(S) THAT PORTAIN TO YOUR RESEARCH!(some articles can include more than one study)****

Don't only use one source for your information, find as many as you can until you feel confident in the field of medicines and your concolusions about them. Information you use should be verified by several responsibly written articles, journals, and/or studies.

Call surgeons' offices, ask questions.

Research doctors in your area or a doctor you really like, again don't be afraid to call or email clinics!

When it comes to surgery and your body, if you have a bad feeling, any bad gut feelings before they put you under, about the surgeron or their methods, even team. You can back out until you are knocked out. You can say no as soon as you walk into the surgical suite. You worry about you.

Please, when going onto transgender groups (facebook and stuff), that not everyone is being genuine with you. People can be anything or anyone on the internet, behind that screen. I see trans people spreading anti-transtional propaganda (not on purpose), and they don't notice or know better. The negative people tend to pick out their victims early, cling onto someone newer in transitioning or even just joining the group. They probably try getting chummy really fast, getting into a lot of detail very early. They will start bringing up [negative] transitional things when they have nothing to do with the conversation you are having. It's a red flag when you can't talk about anything but "transitioning," and its a sign you need to block if all they say are negative, things. Life happens, but you don't need to drown yourself in negativity. Beware of people on the internet. Their intent is not always good, anyone can lie, anyone can find fake pictures for their profile, anyone can pretend to be someone they are not. Some of us should know that well as trans folk. Some people are even legitimate and are perhaps mad/ unhappy about their results and tend to use way overly dramatic words to describe their results, these people usually aren't telling you the whole truth. People also tend not to want to put any blame on themselves. If you aren't being honest yourself about your results and what and where things went wrong thats not okay. That,or telling someone not to do something that prevents transitioning or calming their dysphoria, that's considered transphobia.

It's important to also know that Facebook, Twitter, etc. are often looked at by employers, so many people will not use their own profiles to be a imaginary person.

Edit: Yes, transgender people can be transphobic as well. Look up Caitlin Jenner and what she's said and tried to do. Let me tell you now, she said transwomen should not be allowed to compete in sporting events, claiming "allowing transwomen to compete destroys women's sports" . So please, if you use that card, put it back in the deck. It's not true, and it's just a wrong blanket statement altogether. There are people who finish their transition and forget they had the rights they want taken away.

I want you to know and it's important to know many end results almost solely rely on the person and how they take care of themselves pre-op and post-op (yes taking care of your body before matters for optimum results). If you are heavier, your body has a harder time healing. This can cause complications and less favorable results because of those complications. I do have a post on being larger and surgical complications that are involved with that. (Here are some links about plus sized risks and general risks: plus size, general risks)

From Dad Shadow: Remember, don't tell anyone online personal information, even if you have been talking for years. Also, do not place yourself (ex. "Im gunna to go to the Starbucks on fifth around the corner from my house." this is especially bad if they may know your partial location) Someone can figure out your identity/location. Don't reveal anything you'd be asked to use as an account recovery question. When I was a younger adult, I saw someone post an image of a girl he met on 'Omegle', saying, "They accidentally got disconnected." Within two hours, everything about this girl was on this thread... from her name, where she was attending school, her personal address, her Facebook. All of it. It was more than one person looking and posting as well. People can be like this... I know you know, but the Dad in me wants to remind you. Browse safely!

I hope you read this and found it helpful everyone. I felt this is a need and it doesn't need post secondary education classes to teach you how to properly find sourced information for reports (same as your knowledge on the subject you are talking about).

P.s keeping your skin elasticity is very important, so mosturize your pecks, let it dry, then put on your binder.

Stay Golden Everyone ✌️ 💙 💜

[answersfromzestual]

Leaving this here because sometimes we need to hear nice things.

trans people i’m happy you’re alive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i’m so glad you’re here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! keep doing your best!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[horny-mushroom]

Let’s not pretend doms don’t need after care too.

Ask them if they are satisfied, whether they came or not. Do they want to cum?

If they need anything to drink.

Perhaps they might be cramping from putting a lot of effort.

Tell them they did well and which parts you enjoyed the most.

Compliment them for their work.

Cuddle up to them.

Offer help for the clean up afterwards.

Order food together.

Sex can be something casual, but might be intense too. Either physical or mentally. Take care of each other and regularly communicate with each other. No question should be taboo. It’s better to be safe than sorry.

[s0lren]

Sexual information post!

(This is not a post to make anyone feel bad or to scare anyone this is just to inform people on how to have safe sex since I feel like it's not talked about enough and it needs to be normalised)

Safewords are always important, especially when doing cnc and even during 'vanilla' sex

The stop light system is a great method

Green means keep going

Orange means slow down

Red means stop

If you aren't a fan of the stoplight system try using words that you would never use during sex but are also easy to remember, names of fruit are very common

Remember, ignoring someone's safe word is never okay, sometimes people can just not hear it but if it continues to happen it's not okay.

Aftercare is also extremely important.

Some people need aftercare all the time. Some people only need it sometimes. Other people don't need it at all. But it's always good to ask.

Aftercare is for both subs and doms. I've seen way too many people claim its just for subs which isn't true, aftercare is for everyone.

People can also need aftercare in different ways. Some people need something to eat and drink. Some people need some reassuring. Some people need to be left alone for a bit. No matter what kind of aftercare you need, it's valid.

It's okay not to cum.

For some people, especially AFAB people or people on medication, it can be hard to cum but that doesn't mean that they can't enjoy themselves. Just because your partner hasn't cum doesn't mean they haven't enjoyed themselves. You can get off without needing an orgasm and don't be disheartened if you or your partner doesn't have one.

Always be safe.

If you have multiple sexual partners always use condoms to avoid contracting anything, even if they claim to be clean don't go without one unless they have proof of being clean. This also applies to sex toys, if you are sharing them with someone else then use a condom and be sure to sterilise it after using just to be on the safe side.

STIs aren't always curable and can lead to health complications down the line so if you ever suspect you have one then go to the doctor before having sex with anyone, especially if it's unprotected.

Don't do the pull out method. There is a chance that sperm can leak with precum or you could pull out just a little too late. If you are worried about pregnancy just use birth control or a condom.

Reminder

Giving your consent shouldn't be a turn off

If you aren't sure that someone is consenting then ask, never do something with someone unless you are 100% sure they want to do it

It is not consent if they persuade you to do something

It is not consent if you are too drunk to say no

It is not consent if you are asleep

It is not consent if you are being blackmailed

It is not consent if you say no

It is not consent if you don't say yes

If you didn't want to give your consent then you didn't give your consent.

Even if you aren't sure that something wasn't consensual you still need to reach out to someone. Don't suffer in silence.

[frameacloud]

Coelingh Bennink, H. J. T., Schultz, I. J., Schmidt, M., Jordan, V. C., Briggs, P., Egberts, J. F. M., Gemzell-Danielsson, K., Kiesel, L., Kluivers, K., Krijgh, J., Simoncini, T., Stanczyk, F. Z., & Langer, R. D. (2023). "Progesterone from ovulatory menstrual cycles is an important cause of breast cancer." Breast cancer research : BCR, 25(1), 60. https://doi.org/10.1186/s13058-023-01661-0

According to this overview, the hormone that causes breast cancer is progesterone from menstrual cycles, not estrogen or testosterone. The risk of developing breast cancer is about the same whether someone has normal menstrual periods or takes birth control to suppress their periods. The risk may be slightly higher in the latter case. Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) doesn't cause a higher risk. Transgender women who take estrogen develop breasts that are the same as those of cisgender women, but with a much lower risk of breast cancer than cisgender women, and higher than that of cisgender men. Transgender men do not increase their risk of breast cancer by taking testosterone, and top surgery reduces their risk.

[sensible-tips]

What's Happening Wednesday

Updated membership tiers and perks of becoming a SensibleTips for T Guys patron.

[cosmokitt]

Thank you for sharing those photos of yourself that you have pinned at the top of your tumblr.

I've wanted a chest harness like that for years but never bought one because they always emphasize my breasts.

Thanks to you I'm more sure than ever that I need top surgery.

You look amazing. Thank you.

Thank you so much friend 🫶 I wish you luck on your top surgery journey, and if you or anyone reading this has any questions about the process I’m happy to answer!

[answersfromzestual]

Also remember to try on things and not assume the size is right.

Also, you will need to know your leg length when buying things like jeans, (in inches).

You can get jeans from one place in one size then need two sizes bigger in another store.

Don't be afraid to dress in the style you want to.

Watch out for certain patterns of shirts and pants it can make you look bigger/smaller in problem areas.

Even cis men have love handles.

And depending on where you shop also matters.

I find clothes made by Asian clothing companies are good for smaller frames, this is really good for dress clothes.

You can always have pants hemmed if they are awesome, but too long.

I have a post about formal wear here if you'd like to see it. It lists companies for shoes and clothing specifically made for trans and non binary people.

FOR ANYONE WHO MIGHT NEED TO KNOW (cause I've told like 3 trans friends this week)

Your pants size in women's is the waist measurement of your men's pants size minus 20. 38x30 in men's becomes 18 in women's. some variation for cut and style but this is the baseline

Your shirt size in women's is one size up from your shirt size in men's. If you wear a men's small, you'll wear a women's medium

Your shoe size in women's is roughly two sizes up from your shoe size in men's. However, many men's shoes are slightly wider than women's shoes so you may have to get wide shoes in women's when you wear standard width in men's

hope this helps, and happy shape-shifting

[anxious-anomaly]

[ 18+ blog || minors DNI ]

"I hate what you're doing to your body."

That's because you're comfortable as who you are. I'm not. That's why I'm changing. You can hate it all you like but it's necessary for me.

unless you wanna write my obituary, of course.

being dead sounds just as relieving as transitioning.

[genderqueerdykes]

I can't reply to the post directly but I saw a post where you were talking about trans masc erasure especially when you were in college and like....I feel it. I started college in 2003 and identified as a cis butch lesbian because I didn't know there was anything else to be, but also MOST IMPORTANTLY because my "resources" and info on trans men were basically Boys Don't Cry, which every lesbian I knew referred to as a lesbian film and Brandon Teena as a lesbian. There were also vague comments from time to time about Chaz Bono at some point, but again, everyone around me was referring to him as a "confused lesbian". What's frustrating these days is that while there is more information out there and more spaces, there still isn't enough. Like, I learned basically everything I know about my body from Gen Z friends who had better education and affirming teachers. And also finding space when you're almost 40 is an impossible task sometimes. At almost every trans masc group I've attended I've been the oldest by almost 10 or sometimes almost 15 years. It's a really lonely experience. A handful of times we've had moderators who are young and not trans masc and they've talked over me and tried to "correct" the language I use to talk about my experiences - for example, I call myself FTM, and I also say things like "when I was presenting as a woman" or "when I thought I was a lesbian". I use this language intentionally because there were over 30 years of my life where I had no idea of the possibility that I could be anything but a woman and that IS how I identified, and there are over 30 years of experience with that identity that I am still recovering from and that shaped the course of my life in a way that's difficult or impossible to explain without acknowledging it. Part of our erasure unfortunately comes within the community and people not listening to the experiences of others whose journey doesn't line up with the plot beats of a cinematic, linear coming out story (not to knock that if someone has it! But leave room for those of us who don't!). Even though I'm on T and have had top surgery, there's still so much I've had to figure out myself and it's a lonely life. I don't know how to date or make connections (or even if I should! I'm aromantic which I think complicates things sometimes). Anyway I don't know if any of this is relevant but like. I just wanted to say I relate to the erasure stuff. Wouldn't change who I am for anything, but I would change the world in which I had to figure it out.

im really sorry you can relate to this, it affects so many people and a lot of people are proud to say they don't care. it's not okay. trans men and mascs need community irl. i'm bet things were way harder back then, i can't even imagine how hard it must've been to talk about being transmasculine in 2003.

im going to keep my reply brief because i do not want to distract from your experience

[answersfromzestual]

I have a blog on Phalloplasty. I show my scars. I do have images of my Phalloplasty after about 12ish years of being healed, but I am wearing underwear.

I am willing to post my genitals for educational purposes.

I would need to speak to a tumblr rep beforehand to make sure I don't lose my educational blog.

For info and advice on phalloplasty or any other surgery feel free to follow me

@answersfromtheshadows

I really hope phallo scars can be as normalized as top surgery scars some day (at least in queer spaces), so people don't need to cover up their arms or be worried about wearing shorts. Same for art. I often see trans masc characters just be depicted as top surgery scars and no bulge, usually skinny too, with very little variation. Just putting some skin graft scars on a character would do so much to make having or wanting phallo feel less isolating and also help educate people. Especially with transphobes fear-mongering about your scars never healing or that the surgery just gives you a fleshtube instead of a penis, I think some more positivity is much needed.

So true!!!! We need neocock to be the hottest art trend of 2024

[horny-mushroom]

Send me examples of your trans joy

I’m currently collecting experiences (nsfw/sfw) of trans joy. Thinking of making a zine/booklet and publish it online for viewing pleasures and education. Anything that makes you happy from being trans, positive things about the community, being happier in your own skin and sexuality… etc. It doesn’t even have to be anecdotes, it can be a poem, illustration or any other creative media that can be put in a digital format (most likely a pdf).

Reblogs are absolutely appreciated and encouraged 💜 Thank you for reading this!

[gl1tt3r-gutz-and-r0b0tz-sl]

'Why can't I be happy now....? I'm who I was always supposed to be..'

FTM starscream!

Here's my first entry into the Starscream week day 1! origin/ past. @starscreamweek

Here’s a bit of an info dump about Starscream’s origins in my AU, Transformers Oblivion:

Starchaser, now known as Starscream, was originally female. She was abandoned by her mother, like many others, and sent away to the slums of Cybertron. Abandoned sparklings usually end up being trafficked, used for target practice for the many gangs that have formed, or were forced into the Arena. The Arena is the largest, most brutal gladiator pit in the entire planet, and the sparklings lucky enough to survive just to be sent there, are trained to fight and kill. While the Arena is a place of fighting, many gambles are placed per match, to see who will live to fight again and climb the ranks. Starchaser and Arcee were both lucky enough to make it. Arcee excelled, being the youngest, and most violent fighter there, exhibiting cannibalistic qualities and actions. Starchaser is highly intelligent, using the environment around her to her advantage. Starchaser always felt off, it could've been the prejudice she received due to her optic color and sex when forged, or it could be that she was never satisfied when looking in her reflection.

Starchaser always wanted to protect Arcee, since that’s what Arcee does for her all the time. Even though Starchaser is bigger than her, she’d never be able to match her strength. One day, while both of them just turned 18 cycles old and both had won their matches, the duo meet an older Cybertronian male going by the name Megatron. He is one of the top patrons of the Arena and a reigning champion of the pit, in addition, he is one of Arcee’s biggest idols since she saw him fight. He offers them both a deal that neither can reject. He offers Arcee to train by him, to become one of his apprentices alongside a male a little older than the girls named Tarn. Megatron offers Starchaser with two opportunities. The first is that Starchaser is able to get an education if she accepts being enlisted in the future army Megatron is forming. The second is that he’s able to give her a body she finally will feel comfortable in, the body her spark was meant to reside in. Both accept, and in this comic, the last frame is the girl’s celebration for Starchaser once finding out about the University accepting her application. 

Starchaser studies to become a scientist, Arcee trains alongside Megatron. Both still keep in touch frequently, hanging out and goofing off whenever they get the chance. This goes on for at least seven cycles until the war finally broke out and everything went to ruin. Starchaser and Arcee were both brought into the base of the newly formed and strengthened Decepticon faction. Work was done to both of their bodies. Arcee got a more feminine frame, looking cuter to throw off opponents and Starchaser finally got the body she desired, a male, strong frame While operating on the two, Shockwave wiped both their memory banks. Arcee was wiped completely, her body only remembering her training and maneuvers, while Starchaser’s memory had gaps in it, where he couldn’t remember what his beloved, childhood ally looked like, but he knew he loved her dearly. The gaps in his memory, and the knowledge that Megatron had something to do with it, led Starscream to form an intense hatred against him. The reason Starscream wishes to become leader is to spare his fellow soldiers from their fates as he knows they were most likely wiped as well, and to regain his own memories when accessing all the files Shockwave and Soundwave have saved, hoping to find his own. 

In the comic above, Starscream breaks down not just by the reminder of not being himself when with who he loves, but by the fact that they both try to kill each other daily.

[queerheadcanoncentral]

ok hear me out. james wilson dating a transgender man for the first time and he kinda doesn’t know what to do to please someone who is ftm so he just lets them take the lead. he’s not super educated on this kind of thing but he’s super ready to learn etc. basically he’s just really pathetic and desperate to make his partner feel good. also he gets off on being called a good boy. i rest my case.

Combining this ask with a different ask i got:

"wilson smut hcs with a top reader? I'm transmasc as well so it would be great if it could be read as a strap-on and not necessarily a flesh and blood penjs"

Tags: smut, just pure smut, strap on, top trans masc reader, oral (reader recieving), bottom james wilson, no use of y/n.

Minors and fems not welcome.

—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—⁠☆—

You were the first guy that Wilson realised he had feelings for and when you guys started dating he was awkward about all of his firsts with you, first date, first kiss.

So when one evening the two of you were making out and you slipped a hand down to his crotch and palmed him through his jeans, he froze.

“oh! I'm sorry, we don't have go any further if you're not comf-” you were worried that you'd done something wrong but he was quick to reassure you. “no, no! I want to, trust me, I really want to but- It's just that, I've never done this with a guy before and I don't know how to make you feel good.”

You were very horny and you could tell that he was too, his chest rose and fell heavily, his lips were swollen and their redness matched his cheeks, you just wanted to keep going. You leaned into him, your hand sliding from his waist to his lower hip, your fingers on the side of his ass. “I can show you” you said with a comforting yet seductive smile. That just made Wilson's blood shot right down to his cock, and he swallowed thickly “yes, yes please”.

Within a second that the words left his mouth your lips were on his. It was rougher than any kiss the two of you have shared before, more full of passion and teeth. James hands went to tangle up in your hair and one of yours went to his ass while the other to support his back as you slowly lowered him to your bed. You sloted a knee between his legs, keeping him in place and started kissing his jawline, then his neck leaving wet kisses and red bite marks to which he responded with soft whimpers and moaned at the harsher bites. You reached his sweater collar and pushed up at the lower hem signaling him to take it of. He did as he was ordered and you continued to shower him with pleasure as you went lower and lower.

Once you were satisfied, with the amount of hickeys that now littered his entire upper body (and with how hard his dick grew), you pulled back and with a stern voice you ordered “get on your knees”.

He immediately scrambled to the ground next to the bed and infront of you. “Take them off” you said as you began to pull out the end of your belt from the belt loops. He took over and undid your belt, then zipper and pulled off your jeans and underwear together in an effort to save some time.

“oh.” he said, a bit surprised. “Don't tell me you didn't know I was trans” you responded, probably equally as surprised as him. “How was I supposed know? You never told me.” “Yeah, but when I talk about my childhood I said how people referred to me as a girl, and I keep my testosterone in the fridge and my needles in the bathroom… wait did you think that I'm some sort of a junkie or a doser?” “I didn't really think, I assumed that you were just a regular guy with a testosterone deficiency.” “Kind of am. Can definitely fuck your brains out like one.”

While saying the last sentence you ran your hand through his hair and punctuated it by pulling down on it, which tillted his chin up slightly and his lips parted with an involuntary moan. That send tingles down Wilsons spine and another wave of blood down to his cock. You nudged his head towards your core a bit “How do I-” “Just lick and suck”. Still unsure of what to do he licked his lips and put them on the tip of your t-dick, and you gave him an encouraging low hum “Mm, good boy. That's it”. That took some of the pressure off and, now more confidently, he went lower and started licking at your entrance. At first shallow but when you moaned he started thrusting his tounge deeper and deeper. After a few minutes you were both a mess, you with your mouth hanging open moaning and whimpering constantly, with one hand gripping James's hair, the other gripping the sheets beneath you; him with your juices all over the bottom half of his face. Feeling that you were close you pulled him off of you and marvelled at the sight beneath you. He looked beautiful like that, out of breath, his lips red and puffy and the lust behind his eyes. You could look at him like that for hours but, you see him shifting around trying to get his cock some friction.

“Take your clothes off. Get on the bed, face up”. He did as he was told and in the meantime you took off your shirt and reached into the drawer of your nightstand. He was to busy getting into his position that didn't see what you pulled out and only looked back at you when he heard a click and he saw you standing there with a 7 inch strap on. His head was spinning with anticipation and he thought to himself “this is what heaven must look like. The hottest man he's ever seen about to fuck him senseless”.

“Good boy. So obedient and ready to please” you praised him while getting on the bed and inseting yourself between his legs. Once you got in the position you uncapped the bottle of lube in your hand and poured some on your hand. First you lathered yourself up, then you slicked James's hole up. You pressed in one finger to see how stretched he is and you were quite surprised to find that he was already pretty loose. You figured that he must've played with himself before coming over to your place. You took out the finger and line the head of the dildo with his hole. You place one hand on his hip and rub small circles into it “just relax, take a deep breath” you reassure him.

As he does so and exhales you push yourself pass the ring of muscles. You can feel that he's tight by the resistance but you continue to ease into him. You stop once you're all the way in and wait for James to adapt to the size. He can feel the slight burn and it feels so good. His eyes roll to the back of his head, his mouth falls open and a low almost gutteral moan escapes from deep within him.

Once you feel him adjust you start moving again. First you go slow, just enjoying the way your boyfriend moans and the way the built in grinder brushes against your clit. After a few minutes Wilson starts to rock his hips into you “faster please”, he whimpers. “Whatever you need baby” you anwser doing as he says. You start of just a bit faster but, soon it isn't enough and you are pounding into him relentlessly. His mouth is permanently open now and the air is filled with strings of his curses and moans and your name along with wet slapping sounds and your own moans and grunts and praises flying his way, “such a good boy. You're being so good for me. That's it, you take me so well”. You're groping his behind and planting wet kisses to his neck, his legs are locked around your hips, his heels digging into your ass and his nails into your back. You can feel yourself at the edge now and if the amount of pre that is coming out of his dick is anything to go by, so is he. “do you want to make me feel good? I bet you do” “yes, yes i do” “than come with me” with that you took him in your palm and stroked him fast and tight. He thought he died. His heart was beating so hard it was going to jump out of his chest, all of his muscles contracted and started to spasm, his eyelids shut close and his back arched. All he could feel was your dildo inside of him, your hand on his cock, his cum on his stomach and your mouth on his nipple. All he could hear was his ear shattering moan. All he could smell was both of your juices combined. All he could taste was you on his tongue. If liking all of that and loving you ment that he was doomed for eternal damnation, he will set fire to himself to experience this forever. You weren't far behind and with a couple of thrusts you came and you pushed yourself deeper then even Wilson has ever been.

It took you a while to come down from your high and when you came to you pulled yourself out of your boyfriend and slumped down on his chest. His hands absentmindedly wrapped around you and you hugged him back. It took another three minutes for James to say anything, and the first thing he said was “That was… yeah.” You laughed at that and nuzzled your face into his chest “Yeah, that was”. Your voice was rough just like his. With that you got up and walked away, you came back with two glasses of water, a damp wash cloth and without the strap on. You handed him a glass and set the other one down then got to cleaning both of you up. He sat up just enough to have a sip and set the glass down.

Once you finished you threw the wash cloth somewhere near the laundry basket, took a sip of water and slid both of you under the comforter. You were to tired to take a shower and James didn't seem to mind either. “That was amazing” he finally said. You chuckled and pulled him in closer, his head on your chest, you rubbed circles into his back and whispered praises and sweet nothings into his ear while pressing soft kisses to the top of his head as punctuation “You did so good. You were so good to me. That was amazing. I love you. I'm so lucky to have you.”

Maybe you were doing to much with these praises in this context but you didn't care much about that, you just cared that you made your boyfriend happy and that he fell asleep knowing that he is loved.

This is my first time writing smut so sorry if it's kind of bad.

[answersfromzestual]

Do you mind me answering?

They do not do both surgeries at the same time because there are usually steps between chest surgery and the actual phalloplasty procedure. And it ups complications due to the time you are under anesthesia goes up. This can actually be harmful to you. The longer you are under anesthesia, the more likely you are to have side effects of it, and even can lead to death. It also affects your healing process because of the amount of stress your body would be under trying to heal both wounds at the same time. It may not produce the best results you could get.

My Phalloplasty Procedure alone was about 7 hours in the operating room.

Then, usually, after top surgery, they ask you to have a hysterectomy, which my clinic, for example, didn't do. Some clinics would rather you use an OBGYN for the hysterectomy. (This isn't to say another clinic would not perform the procedure).

But bottom line I feel is the time you would be under anesthesia and the stress on your body healing both injuries would be a lot on your body, too much to have the best results you could.

I don't want to be a sourpuss, I felt the same when I was where you are in transition.

And about using the extra tissue from your chest, it may not be as sensitive as your forearm, for example. Surgeons usually use tissue for your phallis that is extremely sensitive (like your forearm or lower back). This was just what my surgeon told me about which tissue he uses. For example, my surgeon only used forearm skin for the creation of the phallis.

I don't mean this to be rude, I just wasn't sure if you wanted an actual answer or not. If not, I apologize.

If you'd like to see some articles and more info on all the procedures, feel free to follow me.

Text to speech: Why don’t they offer top surgery and a phalloplasty at the same time where they use the breast tissue instead of limb tissue, {redacted}, hush,  and construct the penis out of that. Why not though?

[shamebats]

"I know it’s the common experience, but I think we need to be very careful pushing this narrative. When I came out as trans, I was engaged to a cis man. We’d been together five years, had a house, dog the whole nine yards. Pretty much everyone around us assumed, not asked, assumed that we would be breaking up. Knowing that we were both bi. He had been with just as many dudes as women before dating me.

That speaks absolute volumes to me, that the assumption is that a stable, healthy relationship would be automatically over just because of that. That no one could love us as we are. It was absolutely devastating. What hope do we have of educating cis people, encouraging them to do better if we’re also pushing this as a story? As just the way shit happens with no root cause analysis? Just “sexuality is hardwired”?

I know my case isn’t the average, but my now husband literally did not give a shit. I genuinely thought he hadn’t properly understood what I was telling him when I came out, because his response was just “yeah that tracks”. Like he fully expected me to come out as trans at some point and he just did not care (but in a good way) he’s been so supportive throughout, helped me with medical costs, looked after me when I had top surgery, all of it. Our relationship is better than ever because of it. I don’t shut him out anymore. I’m more confident and happy in myself so I can do more for him. I bought him flowers the other day, and I don’t think I ever could have let myself do that when I was presenting as a woman.

Yeah, sometimes love isn’t enough and that absolutely sucks, for whatever reason. I don’t think we should act like there aren’t societal and cultural factors at play in all this as well though. There’s a lot of evidence to say that sexuality is also partially socially constructed, particularly the way we experience and express our sexualities and the expectations surrounding them.

I also definitely think the whole “they will loose all attraction to you” thing isn’t entirely a sexuality thing, part of it is also a ‘we live in an extremely transphobic society’ thing. A lot of cis people feel shame about being with a trans person. We’re fine for a bit of fun but a good chunk of them just don’t see us as potential long term partners. A long term partner coming out as trans sometimes violates an important idea to them about what their life partner should be."

— a Reddit comment from a thread on r/ftm arguining against the assumption that coming out is guaranteed to/should end a romantic and/or sexual relationship.