#frustrating things to neurodivergent people
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Just ranting about something that's been bothering me for yearsss
So I've mentioned my friend before. Ima call her bestie bc that's what she calls me.
I've known bestie for years.. about 7 I think? I met her when I was forced out of my normal lunch table. The most open table was hers. She started talking to me after r few days of this happening.
Bestie and I were friends. She said we were, and I needed friends. Her behavior was far too much for my shy demeanor. She's neurodivergent, and she has no filter. I'd be scared to be associated with her because of how commonly she said things I would never dare whisper. That was mostly a me issue though.
Sometimes I enjoy her company, sometimes I wish she would leave me alone. Being older now, I have a lot more confidence, I've found it easier to tell her off. She still has no filter.
I've found good friends in my high school years. People who i don't feel cautious around, people who is don't get mad at. People i don't have to hush and keep out of trouble. I feel less like me and bestie are friends, let alone BFFs.
She frustrates me, pokes fun at me, and judges me. I'm not supposed to be mad at her, she can't help it. How terrible would i be to leave her or tell her to stop?
We sit together at lunch as of now, we might not soon due to changing schedules. But she's been leaning into me and grabbing my arm for warmth. And I don't like it. I do my best to show my displeasure, encouraging her to let go as I scroll my phone, but really I'm staring into space and freaking out. She lets go eventually, she's not bad or anything. But it upsets me. She's been stealing my food, making me have to be defensive. Earlier this week I was looking forward to eating a rip banana for once, i told her and she grabbed it, I gently pulled it back, not wanting to damage it or anything and she squeezed it, ruining half the banana. After giggling for a while, she apologized. But she's just been pushing boundaries more.
We were walking down the hallway, and i bumped into her a bit instead of another student, I apologized and she started to pretty much shove me with her entire body weight. I didn't want to be shoved into something or someone, so i purposely shoved her back a bit, which apparently was to much for her. She stopped for the moment but would continue to push me and joke about it for the next few days
Everyone thinks she's my best friend, and I can't just leave her. She has had a lot of rough things happen to her. And she's going through some stuff. I think atleast, she's hard to read.
It's just so conflicting. By nature she's not the easiest person to get along with, but she has a valid excuse in my mind. So i feel it's wrong to dislike her most of the time.
Anyways, that's the yap. Nothing horrendous.
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My Biggest Frustrations as an Neurodivergent Person
neurodivergent_lou
#autism#actually autistic#frustrating things to neurodivergent people#emotional dysregulation#sensory issues#constantly exhausted#choosing words in a conversation#neurodivergence#neurodiversity#actually neurodivergent#feel free to share/reblog#neurodivergent_lou (Facebook)
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Actually, I hope Jiaoqiu stays blind (at least for a couple years in our time) and just bullies the Xianzhou alliance into inventing disability aids and treating disabled people better
#hsr#honkai star rail#hsr spoilers#jiaoqiu#i want to make it very clear that this is not a Jiaoqiu hate post#i am simply a disabled gal (chronic pain + shit eyesight + neurodivergent) who wants more disabled characters in the game#and with blindness in particular- that rant from the sanctus medicus lady really stuck with me#as did the treatment of the kid#and curing blindness irl is absolutely something that would be great and i think its fine to explore in game too#but its frustrating to watch the game act like thats the only way blind people can live their lives without constant suffering#especially in such a futuristic setting#like if you got space travel i think you can also make cains and railings and audio messages and braille#and I'm just hoping thats an intentional flaw of the xianzhou and not just writers ableism leaking through#with hsr's recent track record of disabled characters though i am learning towards believing its probably the former#I'm just saying that if mail delivering robots are a regular thing i dont see why other forms of robot assistants couldn't
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I have a theory that people who are the most critical of neurodivergent traits in others are more likely to be neurodivergent themselves.
We've heard this before through the lens of parents who say "that's normal, even I do that" and failing to realize that they likely have the same variety of neurodivergence, but I think on a deeper level people who have spent their entire lives memorizing social cues and societal norms and masking strongly without realizing it will probaly find it easier to spot people who regularly break those rules and become upset because they hold themselves to such a rigid standard and are frustrated that others freely reject standards that they put so much effort into meeting themselves.
Very rambly, but just a thought.
#neurodivergent#neurodiversity#adhd#autism#neurodiverse stuff#psychology#ironically i find it hard to get along with adhd people sometimes for this exact reason#i've learned to regulate my own speech and not talk about myself so much and ask questions to others#and often if I meet someone who doesn't do this and never gives me a moment to say my thing I feel immensely frustrated#of course I am making an active effore to improve and be more patient#but nobody's perfect me included
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Autism culture is being annoyed when people are like "autistic people aren't sexless/loveless/emotionless" because I am sexless and (romantically) loveless and often emotionless (partly from autism and partly from anti-anxiety drugs)
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#neurodivergent culture#mod milo#when people use this phrase they’re saying that autism doesn’t *make* you those things#but I completely understand your frustration#you deserve to be acknowledged too!
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my favourite thing about the always sunny podcast is listening to rcg all say something extremely neurodivergent and then agree amongst themselves and convince themselves its completely normal
#and to be clear im not diagnosing them charlie said he wasn't neurotypical#like deadass i think. the reason some of their writers just completely botch the gang's motivations/dialogue sometimes is bc at their core#these characters are all. SO autistic. which inevitably leads to them being misunderstood by others outside their group#whether rcg realizes it or not they inject this very specific vibe of neurodivergence into the gang#and its why they will just. argue over inconsequential details bc they Need to be understood completely#they can't just drop it unless they are crystal fucking clear#imo the biggest mistake other writers make is thinking that the gang is completely desensitized when its more like#they just don't react the way you would expect#which is often... adjacent to that but still distinct. and its trauma that influences this as well#the gang does not believe they themselves are 'bad people'. theyre most often oblivious to the fact that the things they do are insane#rob saying he doesnt pick up on social cues and then going on to argue in circles with glenn#i dont think last week was anything crazy but i think. rob doesn't know when to let up. which is a problem that *i* have#and while it comes across as being confrontational in an 'im right youre wrong' way i dont think its driven by ego here#just like with how as they said mac and dennis are making up while chucking bread rolls at each other#on both sides its frustration at being misunderstood#but they are all similar enough that even if they disagree over small details theyre usually on the same page. and this can be beneficial!!#thats the conclusion of the ep!!!! whether its suggesting smoking to cancel out the toxic apple skin or suggesting words u cant think of#glenn said he was upset about feeling misrepresented and picked on#dennis gets angry for those exact reasons in.... ALL of his big rage scenes#its frustration that leads to anger because youre speaking to (another) brick wall and you can't adequately explain yourself#which. glenn is clearly more competent than dennis & i think a lot of the time in sunny the gang is WAY more obtuse for the sake of comedy#but its interesting to watch the dynamic because as charlie said last week#they are mac and dennis (especially when theyre fighting)#i just think.. they are in a semi-unique position to understand this because this is how they are. while several other writers do not get i#ada speaks#untagged
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Every single time someone posts a 4th anni and Bloomfes prediction I die inside a little because something is usually off.
So welcome to my final anni prediction that I've been cooking for the past month and an explanation of my reasoning behind one or two minor massive things
The lineup (IF colorful palette stops chucking curveballs straight at our skulls this year) is going to most likely be An, Shiho, Airi, Ena, and Nene. This is assuming that leaders for anniversary are an every other year thing, and that members of 2nd anniversary cannot have a repeat appearance.
The only character that can possibly be contested is Ena, as Mizuki isn't entirely off the table, just unlikely with the likelyhood of Mizu5 being the next N25 event. (Mizuki being there instead of Ena would also fix the "issue" of this lineup being almost identical to 2.5 anniversary, with the only difference being L/N Miku being swapped for Airi, but eh.)
Now, that's the known part at this point. What people cannot decide on relatively unanimously is who tf is the 3 star. I've seen some people argue on the 3 star being Airi since she just had a lim focus not that long ago, but in my opinion:
The 3 star will most likely be Nene. This is because, if we look at the anniversaries past, the 3 star for an anniversary has been from the unit that gets the focus next anniversary. Anni1 had Kanade as a 3 star, and Anni2 was Mafuyu focus. Honami was the 3 star for Anni2, and Anni3 was Ichika focus. Obviously, this doesn't mean a pattern yet. But it's safe to assume that with Kohane as the 3 star for 3rd anniversary, 4th anniversary is going to be a VBS focus (Unfortunate I know, VBS fans can't catch a break)
So, why does that mean Nene is going to be the 3 star?
If we follow the pattern of the 3 star being from the same unit as the next anniversary's focus member, and assume that An is in fact the 4th anniversary focus, that means the only unit that will be without a focus for anniversary will be WxS. So ultimately, Nene will be the 3 star. (Additionally, if anniversaries are in fact alternating between leaders and non-leaders on lineup, that would mean 5th anniversary would be a Tsukasa focus. Not important to this, just something I find interesting.)
Bloom festival is a whole other clusterfuck. Rin and Rui are in desperate need of a lim, with Rin's last being from Let Your Song Resound, and with Rui's last being from Pandemonium. Rin is going to be on the banner as Bloomfes. One question comes to mind, though…
Will they let an OC be on an anni's banner as a fes card???? The only other time that's happened was 1st anniversary, with Miku and Ichika as colorful festival. The other two had Miku/Luka with Anni2 And KAITO/MEIKO for Anni3. So…it's ultimately unclear. The first Bloomfes being KanaMEI does give me hope that RinRui is possible, but there's truly no way to be sure.
If you read this far you're actually so awesome, ty for reading my 3 am word dump <3 Have a great day :3
#Unimportant so I'm putting this in the tags but#I've honestly been annoyed for the past month by people saying Toya would be Anni this year#Once again with the 3 star = focus thing#He became completely ineligible the SECOND he got his 3rd mixed with that pattern being around#And so every time a Toya prediction has popped up I've just felt a little frustrated?#Because that tells me that person likely hasn't done as much research into their predictions and it makes me :(#These patterns aren't hard at all to see if you do even just a basic amount of simply looking at past annis#But who knows maybe thats the mental illness and (probable) neurodivergency talking#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#hatsune miku colorful stage#proseka#jupiter rambles#this is ABSOLUTELY a ramble lmao#most fitting post I have in my ramble tag
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no one knows just how hard I work at things. how I have to work 1000000x more than the average person to compensate for being autistic and adhd and probably other things i'm working out with therapist, and having a sort of physical disability i've not received any help or treatment for. everyone assumes I don't try or give up too soon. they think I just started, need more practice. they think I expect everything handed to me immediately with no work or effort and don't acknowledge the multiple years i've put into things. they think I have no right to be upset about still failing to get where I want even after working my entire life to get there, while watching people around me surpass even my meager goals within a fraction of the time and work i've out into the same thing. constantly getting surpassed by everyone around me who seem to barely do any work to get there compared to me. it's all handed to them and falls into their lap so easily. all because they don't have the extra obstacles to overcome and work around that I do. while they go from point A to Z immediately with no major stops in between, I have to go through every single letter and then some, often getting sent back to the start. but it's always *my* fault, according to everyone. it's not the fault of those around me who ignore me, don't support me, don't help me, don't believe in me, etc. it's my fault they don't do those things. because doing the work of 10 people in one isn't enough, just because it's me. and not reaching Z as fast as everyone else means I don't deserve any of the support or help or anything else and means i'm not trying hard enough. it doesn't matter that I *need* to work harder than 100 "normal" people combined to get even half the result! Just because I can't reach what they do means i'm not trying hard enough! ugh.
#it's like they WANT me to give up!#they sure act like i'm not trying to give up/not trying if I mention how hard it is/how i'm upset I cant reach my goals after years of work#if someone tells me to just do the thing/stop giving up/try harder/practice more/it takes time/dont expect it to be handed to you/etc#ONE MORE TIME. im going to fucking lose it. in fact im losing it right now hence the rant im writing!!!!!!!#can someone for once tell me its ok to feel frustrated and they know how hard i work and try and deserve better or something idk#ugh i hate this life. sometimes i hate being neurodivergent because it stops me from doing all the things i want#and no one is willing to help because they blame me and say im not trying hard enough when EXISTING takes more work than they realize!#for fuck sake im losing my mind here. not having any support and not being able to support yourself because none of your needs get met#and you have to try to do life with higher support needs and are denied any support. its so fucking hard. idk what to do#lee rants#autistic#autism#actually autistic#adhd#neurodivergent#audhd#and probably other things that could be tagged but im exhasuted. writing this was hard and took so much energy to make words happen#words hard. how get across what want to say?????? dont know#but why is it always dismissive comments and no one offering any actual help or support that would benefit me in any way#but everyone else gets so many opportunities and support? i guess if you need extra support you arent worth anything#IM ALLOWED TO BE UPSET AND FEEL BAD. PEOPLE NEED TO STOP DISMISSING MY FEELINGS AND TRYING TO MAKE ME FEEL BAD ABOUT FEELING BAD.#WHAT DO YOU WANT AND EXPECT FROM ME FOR FUCK SAKE. HOW DOES ONE TRY HARDER THAN THEIR BEST!!!#HOW DOES ONE DO SOMETHING THEY PHYSICALLY CANT IF THEY ARENT ALLOWED THE HELP AND SUPPORT REQUIRED?!#HOW DO YOU EXPECT A BIRD TO FLY IF IT WAS BORN WITHOUT WINGS#ok im done
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specialized education and gifted children programs are so fucked up I see the purpose but the execution and expectations are genuinely horrific I've yet to meet a single one of us that's doing okay besides from those who just reached their breaking point and chose to stop caring
#gifted kid burnout#It's so fucked up the emotional stress levels we're normalizing and the expectations to do the best and be the best when everyone#Has been told they're the best and special#Middle school high school college etc should be learning times yes and expose you to new things#The opportunities provided are wonderful and its really cool how many programs you can have access to#But the competition and stress shoved into a relatively short time period isn't productive for helping kids learn and try new things#Especially since they're expected to be a fully functioning adult afterwords with little to no prioritization of information#That could help with that transition#I'm very frustrated with the American education system I don't know enough about other countries education to comment on theirs#Cue rambles#ESPECIALLY NEURODIVERGENT PEOPLE OH MY GOD#I would like to say something about that but I want to do more research on that besides from me just speaking from experience and people#Around me
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"potentially autistic enough to get regularly assumed some form of neurodivergent including just being asked 'are you autistic' several times from friends and acquaintances, but not obviously potentially autistic enough to ever be evaluated for it" is such an interesting spot to be in
#not jojo related#personal#rambles#i'm not that bothered by it really but it is kind of a frustrating unknown#even my mom's told me she ''wouldn't be surprised'' if i was autistic since i was little i can't help but wonder lol#i've considered it before but now tbh i think if i am autistic it's not really life-impacting enough to warrant diagnosis#i have some social awkwardness issues but i still managed to get a decent sized friend group#(though about 80% of my friend group is people i met in elementary and middle school-#-the majority of which are also now diagnosed with some form of neurodivergence... take that as you will lol)#and i have some sensory problems (and maybe some motor ones. still struggle to tie knots) but they're fairly manageable for the most part#will admit it's very frustrating to encounter the name for an autism symptom that you relate to#but feeling too guilty to use the term for yourself because well i'm not sure-sure#sorry this is probably a random thing to post about but whatever
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Why do I feel so immature compared to literally everyone I interact with. Why does everyone treat me like I am some naive baby that needs to be protected. Why does everyone act like I am incapable of putting myself out there to get things done.
#is it the way I dress? is it because I have different experiences than a lot of other people?#is it my hobbies? is it the way I talk? the way I carry myself?#my mannerisms?#I really hate it whatever it is#sometimes I wonder if it's something I am doing on purpose subconsciously to like protect myself from criticism#but I honestly hate it. I do not enjoy feeling like a baby#I do not enjoy being treated like a baby#this isn't really about anything in particular.. just some things that were said/done tonight and the way I was feeling with some people#and the way I've been feeling in grad school for the past couple weeks and some things that have been said over those weeks#and things people have said and done at my previous job#and things my family has been saying and doing recently but also other things they have done for years before this#and things people at church and camp used to say and do and the way they treated me#and even sometimes the way friends will treat me or talk to me or react to things I say or do#I am just tired of it. why am I infantilized like this. why do I feel it so much in my head too#I am an adult. I want to feel like an adult. I want to be treated as such#I am just frustrated#I am not stupid. I am not incapable. I am not naive. I am working very hard to not be such a pushover and address my anxiety#I am working to be better about self-advocacy and assertiveness and such#but its like all anyone else sees is a quiet helpless stupid child#is this a neurodivergent thing. is this like a 'oh you are so smart but you dont understand anything in the world at all' sort of situation#is it a white christian woman image thing? like a white woman tears thing? do people do this because I am emotionally manipulating them?#do I look like a small wet animal with the saddest eyes imaginable to other people?#I dont know. it bothers me a lot. I think about this so fucking frequently. I wish it would stop
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Goddddd the corn plate meme is the manifestation of how piss poor the analysis skills and need of interpretation is to the people consuming media nowadays
#it's so damn frustrating i have to punch something#txt#the animator: very deliberately animates a character do something#a fan: points it out:#some fucko in the replies: lmaoooo corn plate corn plate!!!#i'm too neurodivergent for this neurotypical ass take#ALL media has something worth analyzing#it's never too deep#art is worth analyzing even if the author didn't intend it to mean something#people put deep things in art that manifests in the smallest thing#the need to tell intricate stories came with your fucking humanity
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I decided to close my asks for now because requests are closed anyways and honestly, my asks have just been feeling kind of weird lately with just random words/sentences sometimes (for example, I received one with just the word "jelly" last night) and then there's the random paragraphs about anons' lives I've gotten as well. I have no idea what to respond to that stuff so it's been a bit frustrating to look into my asks lately.
#i really appreciate people trying to reach out to me#but my neurodivergent ass does not know what to say to these random things anymore#of course theres also been lots of good stuff in my inbox#but i need to get rid off every source of frustration to prevent myself from getting upset#💟 maochira talks
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fh fandom back to wishing death on a fictional teenager for being mentally ill and not learning how to cope with that in a healthy way. what else is new
#do i think klck is correct? no#do i think a fandom full of grown adults should stop holding this (manipulated) (not sound of mind) teenager to wack standards? ya#like.... some of you are... how do i say this.... ~projecting~#and dont get me wrong this isnt me trying to say shes some kind of innocent misunderstood blorbo 🥺🥺🥺#i think shes a freak and a cunt. but im going to be normal about it and NOT say that she deserves to be killed (????)#pre-overtaking she was clearly aware that her behavior wasn't healthy#the fact she even went to jawbone at all (and was honest with him!) proves that imo#personally i feel like she might be neurodivergent -> struggling with knowing which rules to break and which ones to not#we literally JUST had an episode where the principal of AAA told students to their face that studying and working hard is dumb#i think kipperlilly came to aguefort. couldn't get a grip on what they Actually wanted from her#(parents went to mumple. she couldnt have been prepared for aguefort)#and out of frustration she fixated on people who were doing well and compared herself to them#and the only major surface difference she could find? tragic backstories#it only makes sense that she'd assume that THAT is what was missing. her inability to adapt to AAA was out of her control#so instead of blaming smth abstract (neurodivergence/other mental illness)#this single. concrete. and obvious difference is way easier to latch on to#but yeah. imo she just reads as someone super neurodivergent who received No Help because she 'made do'#and when thrown into a situation that required a skillset she wasn't born with. she shut down and got defensive#noone is born wanting to die yadda yadda#i think it's very interesting that when jawbone turned the question around on her (asking what SHE could do to get better)#she got quiet and awkward#its almost like she was trying her best? and just couldn't figure out where to go next?#and OH would you look at that. jace offering her a trip to the mountains of chaos. for a ~super dangerous adventure~#🙄#anyway.#awfully convenient. isn't it.#this has been me. having takes on ms goldendoodle shibainu#goodnight everyone (its noon)#not tagging this out of fear of the *** stans out there who will not stop taking things personally
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denial is a river in egypt I probably definitely have autism, dyslexia and ocd lol
#its so frustrating trying to interact with people i swear#its even more infuriating watching my neurodivergent friends be absolute socialites next to me while i just give off the Most Hostile vibes#ever when I'm TRYING to be friendlly#i know the fucking theory of how to talk to people i KNOW THIS IN MY BRAIN why can't i DO IT#I script every goddamn interaction but i dont FOLLOW the script#I learn to do New Things by scripting and pattern recognition but jesus chbrist I must be horrible to put up with when I'm still asking how#to do simple things#I don't wanna get it WRONG jesus christ#and if I do get it wrong because someone told me wrong tha takes so much stress off me its bad but it DOES#ugh I just. dont know how I can even function in this world actually#dont get me started on how my dyslexia/dyspraxia/dyscalculia are ALL working toghether to fuck me over#:3c#oh and the ocd thing thats a whole other issue fuck
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one thing i would be interested in, when we live somewhere nicer, is fostering a dog or two, or even dogsitting but im partial to fostering in regards to the whole allergy thing because it would be for a longer period of time without being a 12+ years commitment. but that's also something that we can't do just yet so once again all i can do is try to be patient and focus on things i have to work on myself that aren't directly related to dogs.. and my brain says that's booooring
#mine#the older i get the more i realize how much being neurodivergent impacts my life :')#wdym in order to Dog i must take care of things that are not Dog?? nonsense.#also hey imagine if you had to learn french or some language you knew nothing of in order to be able to talk to any dog person you met#go to dog shows they said... great way to make connections with people they said... yea when u speak the same language 😭#i joke but also not really. its kinda frustrating. i still have a nice time otherwise but i really need to get more serious with learning#but motivation is like an elusive lover to me
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