#from watching s8 eps

[angelsdean]

opening up 91w and seeing that dean and cas are medics is reminding me of how close i came to hyperfixating on M.A.S.H instead of spn in december 2020. like i needed a new show, half of my dash at the time was obsessed with M.A.S.H. it was a long show and i was like, sure, why not. (all while the post-nov 5 and post-spn finale feels were causing brainworms to start wriggling. having me watch destiel / dean is bi compilations on youtube and imprinting on dean like a baby duck).

anyways, i watched one season of M.A.S.H. was abt to start season 2 around christmas 2020 and then thought, fuck it ! we're watching spn. and well, i made this blog abt a week later and here we are lol

[femmekarenwilson]

FINALLY watching the ep so prepare for a deluge of posts you've already seen within the next hour <3

[clumsycapitolunicorn]

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[soonhoonsol]

this isn't kpop related but i finally finished watching the flash tv show and i am a mess

[coldflasher]

i really need to catch up on season 8 bc i actually wanna watch s9 properly as it airs and have the ~experience~ but also. i really can’t be bothered watching season 8

[munchboxart]

By the way, these are based on a thing called "Fabergé eggs", which is the same thing "Soul Gems" are based off of

HOT OFF THE FUCKING RE-MENT PRESS NEW KIRBY COLLECTION I NEED TO COP ASAP [LINK: https://x.com/rement_official/status/17974682475390157870]

NEW META KNIGHT MERCH TO MY COLLECTION FUCKING FINALLYYYYYYYY

[alkaysani]

i watch 911 pretty much twice each ep because i watch it with my sister who is part of the general audience and never watches it live

and i always love hearing her observations

she made a comment about bathena and how previously, when bobby would feel some sort of way about something athena said or wants, he'd keep it in and the whole issue would last a few days (episodes), and how different it was in the latest episode about the house, it began and ended in one

and she was like "wow that took two seconds, but that's great because they talk now!" and yeah, they do

and we see it in terms of the emergency around them - the better bathena communicates, the more gelled they are with one another, the more smoothly their team up is, regardless of distance, and you see it more in the last 2 openings

with s4-s6, they were working within the same emergency (shooting, blackout, blimp), but either separately or from different angles

in s7, they were personally in different pages but worked together throughout the whole emergency and were by each other's side until the end where they had to separate. but even then, it was clear that they worked together as first responders and then partners

and in s8, they were literally miles apart, and unable to talk to one another, but as soon as they did, they came up with a solution together and executed an insane plan while being miles apart

and i know it's been said that athena felt different in this opening because it was very much like her as athena not as her as athena the cop, and i felt the same about her and bobby too. it felt very much bobby and athena as husband and wife, instead of bobby and athena the fire captain and sergeant

and i love that so much

[buddiebeginz]

I know not everything the actors say in interviews is accurate but I’m pretty sure in the beginning of the season Oliver talked about how Buck was going to have to work for his next relationship. He talked very deliberately about how Buck has always had relationships come easy. In that he’ll like someone and then end up with them without having to really fight for them. He said Buck's next relationship was going to be different, yet things with T*mmy feel exactly the same as how it’s felt with most of the women Buck's been with. Where the relationship comes easy and it’s mostly based on sex and the person doesn’t really know who Buck is at his core.

I can’t help but wonder if Tim told Oliver that he was planning on making Buddie happen this season or at least moving them closer to happening and it got pushed into s8. In the beginning of this season we had a lot of joint Ryan and Oliver interviews more so than in previous years. Oliver also did a lot of posting/liking about Buddie and Ryan on insta. He also talked about Buddie in all his interviews more than in previous seasons. Given how Oliver has said multiple times in the past that he didn't want to lead people on about Buddie I can't help but feel like he thought things were going to play out differently.

If you watch the beginning of s7 it feels like we’re heading towards something important happening with Buddie. We had a lot of Buddie scenes including the locker room scene, the scene where Buddie talk about underlying sexual tension, the scene where Buck is showing how much he's like Chris' other dad, Buddie working together on multiple calls including rescuing Bobby together. Then of course there was 704 which was like a flashing neon sign saying Buck has feelings for Eddie and is scared Eddie is going to replace him.

Then in 705 it was Eddie who interrupts Buck's first date with a guy. It's Eddie that is the focus of the conversation where Buck comes out to Maddie, where she tells him that if he has something he needs to tell Eddie he will in his own time. Then we get a very intimate scene where Buck comes out to Eddie, including a lot of shared looks between them and a hug. Also of note that Buck only had two coming out scenes in the whole season and Eddie was chosen to be one of them. There was also the gym scene where they talked about Eddie's sex life.

To me it feels like Tim changed course around 706 when he cut a lot of Buddie stuff from the ep especially the karaoke scene. I know a lot of things were likely cut for time but still they shot a scene of Buddie being all touchy feely singing a karaoke love song for the Madney wedding ep. Karaoke was one of the first things Madney did when they were falling for one another it was too much of a parallel for it not to mean something.

I think 706 was really supposed to be a bigger Buddie episode than it turned out to be. This may also be why so much of the promo stuff was about Buddie. I think originally this was going to be the episode to start officially letting the audience know there was something there between them. You can also see parts of the original story where they had Buddie joined at the hip after the bachelor party (helping Maddie and looking for Chim) everything came off very coupley.

This may also explain why Abuela is at the wedding and Marisol isn't (more about Marisol later). I wonder if originally we were going to get some kind of scene with Abuela and Eddie where she says something about Buck. There's no way they brought her in to just stand in the background like an extra there had to have been a purpose for her character originally.

I think Tim changed course when he decided he wanted to do the Kim/Shannon Vertigo mess. Which I don’t get why someone didn’t step in and tell him how ridiculous this idea was especially in this short of a season. I feel like Tim wanted to do something artsy and also get Devin Kelley back on the show and this was how he chose to do that. Unfortunately though the story turned into a mess and worse I feel like parts of Eddie's emotional journey that deserved more focus were lost. Like even the general audience didn't know what to make of that scene where Kim was dressed up as Shannon.

The Vertigo story might also be a part of why there were rumours that Edy had finished filming prior to this storyline starting in 707. Maybe she thought she had but was brought back in for this storyline. Who knows? This season was basically being written almost as they were filming it and I'm pretty sure Tim was changing things left and right. You can see that more in some episodes vs others and definitely more the later the season goes on.

I also think that would explain why so little thought and time was put into both Eddie's relationship with Marisol and Buck's thing with T*mmy. I don't think either relationship was supposed to last the entire season. There was talk early on in s7 that Lou was only supposed to be around for something like four episodes definitely a short run. In interviews Oliver also made it seem like B/T wasn't going to last and that T*mmy eventually was going to be more of a mentor type figure for Buck.

Lou also used the word rom-com when referring to B/T. Although take that with a grain of salt because it may have been on one of his cameos and he said all kinds of stuff on there. But you can see rom-com love triangle type stuff being set up in 704/705/706 between Buck, Eddie, and T*mmy and then T*mmy just kind of disappears (until 709) and the Kim/Shannon thing happens.

This would explain why there is so little development in s7 for T*mmy and B/T's relationship to the point that they never even defined that relationship by the end of the season. They never even had Buck call him his boyfriend. Which I'm glad for that in a way but it just goes to show how bad the writing was this season. And as much as I want Buddie and as much as I dislike Lou and T*mmy I'm also really sad for Oliver because this is not the coming out storyline Buck deserved.

In 707 there was zero mention of T*mmy and this is also when the Kim/Shannon storyline started so I think this is when we see some significant changes to the storyline from wherever things were originally set to go. Though the scene with Buddie and Chris I think some of that was from whatever had been originally planned. It's too flirty to explain otherwise. Maybe originally it was going to be something where Eddie and Chris spend time at Buck's loft but because there was the Kim storyline they wrote it with Eddie leaving for the date.

The thing is Buck's feelings for Eddie throughout this whole season have been louder and more apparent than we've ever seen them be before. Oliver is clearly playing Buck as in love with Eddie. Go back and watch the scene in 704 where Eddie talks about clicking with T*mmy and see how Buck looks like his heart has broken into a million pieces. Or the way Buck watches Eddie in the coming out scene in 705. Or Buck's face in 709 after he said he was worried about Eddie. It's just so obvious that man loves Eddie and would do anything for him.

This is why I really thought there was a good probability of us getting an oh moment feelings realization from Buck in the finale or at the very least a moment where they hugged and consoled each other over losing their son. But we didn't even get that.

I'm honestly not surprised that Oliver went quiet on social media during the back half of s7. Throughout the whole season Oliver wasn't really showing support for B/T and he talked very little about the ship in his interviews. I think this was originally because the plan was for B/T only to be a short term thing and Oliver didn't want to lead anyone on about that ship. I also personally think Oliver has wanted to see Buddie happen for years so he's not going to be rooting for another ship.

I also get the vibe Oliver's not crazy about working with Lou. Anytime you see behind the scenes video and pics of the cast Lou isn't in them or if he is no one is interacting with him. You can also see in the one interview Oliver did with Lou that the chemistry between them just isn't there. They feel more like coworkers just doing their job vs how Ryan and Oliver always appear like giggling besties in every interview and behind the scenes thing we see them in.

Like others have said I'm just sad for Oliver. I think once Tim told Oliver about them wanting to do the bi Buck storyline he must have been so excited. He's talked in interviews about how he's always seen Buck as bi so he must have been thrilled when they said they were finally taking his character there. And for all the issues this season Buck's coming out is still an incredibly important storyline and has meant a lot to so many people. Oliver has even talked about all the people that have messaged him and how deeply they've been affected by a character like Buck coming out.

Still I'm sure Oliver wants more for Buck's love life than the lackluster relationship that he's been stuck with. You can tell in how he talks about Buddie that he wants to see that relationship happen and that he wants to make sure it's done right and doesn't play into stereotypes.

I just hate that T*mmy is the first guy they've stuck Buck with. I hate that Tim and the show have done nothing with this relationship. We don't even really know by the end of s7 how Buck feels about T*mmy or how he feels having been dating a guy for months. Some of that should have been revisited maybe with a talk between Buck and Maddie. But it's like others have said they made Buck bi and then just kind of forgot about him. I think though that's because like I said Tim pushed everything to the side to focus on the Vertigo plot and also all the stuff with Bobby to the detriment of everything else. Buddie was the original plan and Tim didn't really have much else for Buck to do so they left him in this nothing relationship.

I really hope s8 is better all around not just for Buddie but for Buck and Eddie as characters. I hope that Tim plans to follow through and actually make Buddie a reality not just because so many people ship them because of how important for queer representation a ship like Buddie becoming canon could be. I also want to see Oliver actually get to play Buck in a relationship he's proud to talk about.

[worstqueerbaittournament]

Submission message: howdy, would like to submit keith and lance from voltron (lmao)

Submission message: BBC Sherlock and Moriarty / BBC Sherlock and John Watson

Additional propaganda: Now Keith and Lance on the other hand was a whole fucking mess that they then shoehorned in an hetero romance to try and "fix it" but by lord it was bad, everything about voltron is so fucking bad

Anyway this is my Klance propaganda : They were actually bait

Klance's queer baiting by the team was the worst!! We had to deal with NETFLIX ALSO GETTING IN ON THE QUEER BAITING!! If you searched up Kkance during the times for season 6-8, the SHOW WOULD POP UP. The directors would make jokes about it being canon, even Lance's VA got in the joke!

Their queer baiting was the worst for anyone who was even looking for an ounce of queer rep in that show. The only queer rep we got was a man who died after not even 5 minutes on screen, and shoehorned in the credit scene of a gay wedding of a character that was neither Keith nor Lance.

I do not know Agatha and Sophie, so I can't argue that klance was bigger bait or not, I just know voltron was mean lmao. the creators said stuff like "lance will be someone's first choice!" (meaning NOT ending up in a relationship with allura bc she very much chose another guy over him) and heavily implying he would be Keith's 1st choice (or a guy in general bc of point number 2). point number 2: they also released official art showing how super cool and diverse the main cast was! race! gender! LGBT - they had shiro (who was......canon gay but that's a whole other can of worms) and lance hold the sign with LGBT on it and then did absolutely nothing with that w lance at all (he hit on allura, so obvi he's not gay, but at least bi or smt) (UNLESS you count the scenes where he's flirty with keith). I just remember going into the last few seasons being like "klance probably won't be happen be honest with yourself there's like no queer kids shows!! but damn like it so could tho!!! because of how much it's been teased both in the show and by showrunners like I can't have no hope with the way the producers talk about it!" lmao I should have had no hope, but i genuinkey believed there was a possibility it could happen. and actually I discovered after the fact that i think one of the writers for the show who was the main advocate for klance (they had a lot of diff writers for eps, which led to lots of character butchering but ANYWAY) left not terribly long into the show I believe bc he didn't like the direction it was moving in and didn't want to be tied to the show anymore. so it's not like fans just made klance up either - it was written into earlier episodes with the hope and plan to continue developing later, and then just nothing ever happened with it besides INTENSE teasing it to keep queer fans around. esp after shiro's relationship was literally only a flashback and then his fiance thing or whatever got blown up before we even got to watch him interact w shiro as we knew him in present time in s7, so I think they kept being like hmmm klance and the stuff about lance being a first choice before s8 to keep ppl around. also esp bc klancers made up such a big portion of the fan base. then they made a horrible szn and ended it w a flashforward to shiro marrying some random background character who maybe had 1 line? I just remember hitting the flashforward and being like uhhhh who is this dude??? but they did that to hit those diversity points wow first gay marriage in a cartoon or smt idk it doesn't count to me really. so anyway voltron in general is queerbait lol but klance is because it started out as a legit possibility and then they said sike! but only maybe sike bc u guys are mad at us burying our guys in s7 so maybe klance could still happen haha okay now we're serious no it's not happening. anyway I think klance is p bad queerbait and a vote for them is a valid vote, not just u liking the ship.

#im sorry but johnlock is a household name in ther queerbait trenches

I don't know much about blaze runner, but this website made me endure Johnlock FOR YEARS, that ship makes me so fucking angry, and it's so much bait, the whole fucking show is just 4 kinds of bait in a trenchcoat trying to pass as something good, and Tumblr(and the rest of the goddamn world) ate it up like a five course meal. So anyway that's why I'm voting Johnlock

[nqueso-emergency]

I don't hate on the big buddie aircraft carrier that apparently dominates this fandom, but tbh I doubt that Buddie will be a thing in S8 unless it's to cause angst and pain. Because there is no way Eddie as he is now is ready for any relationship other than him with grief and forgiveness.

The ship war is so stupid. The general audience don't CARE who Buck ends up with. I will bet actual money that the majority of viewers don't know or remember the actors' names, outside of Angela Bassett, Peter Krause and Jennifer Love Hewitt. They're not watching it for hidden clues about who likes who or who hates who, they're watching it while having dinner and chatting with their family or friends or just to let their minds go blank for an hour. Also, it's a mainstream adventure/drama, it's not a niche little psychosexual horror/thriller made specifically to cater to a type of viewer. 911 is aiming for four quadrant appeal.

And cynically speaking, Lou Ferrigno Jr would be a get for the show to market with honestly, because older audiences are likely to remember his dad and be like "oh! His son's grown up handsome!" Name recognition helps, even if some peeps be yelling "Nepo baby!" from corners of the internet.

Anyway 😆 🤷🏻‍♀️ what do I know? I've only watched the different character-focused YouTube videos and the many clips on this here hellsite and read the wikis and TV tropes and the metas and just generally absorbed it all via osmosis instead of consuming the show like a human person. But I love Tommy Kinard and I love Lou's portrayal and I wanna see him shine, so I will bite the bullet and start in S8.

Have fun, bitch loud, we are nearing season 8 ep 1

🐝🐝🐝

I love this!! Thank you for sending it 😌

[shewolfofvilnius]

i've always been curious how to watch River's episodes of Doctor Who in order from *her* perspective

and it is exactly as twisted and knotty as you'd think:

For anyone curious (and def not recommended if you haven't already watched these eps at least once): Spoilers ahead.

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.

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A Good Man Goes to War (Baby Scenes) (s6e7)

Impossible Astronaut (little kid scenes) (s6e1)

Day of the Moon (kid scenes) (s6e2)

Let's Kill Hitler (s6e8)

Closing Time (s6e12)

The Wedding of River Song (most of it) (s6e13)

A Good Man Goes to War (Adult River scenes) (s6e7)

Impossible Astronaut (Adult River scenes) (s6e1)

Day of the Moon (Adult River scenes) (s6e2)

The Pandorica Opens (s5e12)

Big Bang (S5e13)

The Time of Angels (s5e04)

Flesh and Stone (s5e05)

The Wedding of River Song (s6e13) (garden scene only)

The Angels Take Manhattan (s7e05)

The Husbands of River Song (2015 Christmas, Listed with S8 on stream)

Silence in the Library (s4e08)

Forest of the Dead (s4e09)

The Name of the Doctor (s7e13)

[whateverisbeautiful]

♥️Reveling in Richonne - TOWL

#13: The Recovery (1.02)

gif cred: @riickgrimes

Rick and Michonne’s journeys are always so similar to the point that they both endured their most awful year at the same time. Rick spent the year officially being the walking dead away from family and Michonne spent that same year recovering in a mall from a brutal attack away from family. And once she's healed physically, Michonne still has to navigate so much heartbreak as she finally makes it to Bridgers Terminal🥺...

After the CRM's attack, that group of travelers is then reduced to just two - Michonne and Nat. They spend a year recovering in a mall and there's a montage of how they got through the time, which includes a lot of oxygen, slow healing, and inspiring determination.

I know this time in the mall had to be so painful for Michonne because she wanted to find Rick and get home ASAP and now she literally has to just stay put and fight for her life until she heals up for an entire year.

gif cred: @nerd4music

But never one to take anything lying down, she works hard at her recovery, attempting to still exercise and strengthen her lungs, which is a big challenge at first. Yet another reason Michonne is a commendable queen - because working out is hard enough when you haven’t been bombed with chlorine gas.

Michonne is willing to push through the hardship as we see her slowly but surely get better. Seeing her perseverance is always so inspiring. I also like how the push-ups tie back to the way she would work out and stay fit in the prison. 

Michonne watches the seasons change and gathers food and I guess the one good thing about being hunkered down at a mall is you get to sleep in those comfy display beds.

gif cred: @richardgrimes

There’s a moment where she and Nat eat and she stares at Rick’s boots, a sign that she’s not losing sight of her mission to find her husband and bring him home. Nat also talks about the importance of knowing when to go and knowing when to give up as he feels he learned the hard way.

gif cred: @taiturner

But Michonne is hope personified and so she brings up Nat’s stepdad Danger and says, “He didn’t give up, right? Didn’t give up on you. Gotta think it was cause of your mom. You gotta think it was cause of love.”

As she says this we see she’s holding the phone she found with the image of her and Judith and Rick’s name. I think they pair those lines over that phone image because Michonne knows wherever Rick is he hasn’t given up on his girls, (even if he’s given up on reuniting with them he hasn’t given up on them) as he clearly still kept images of them as reminders to keep going. And if he hasn’t given up because of his love for her then you already know Michonne isn’t giving up because of her love for him.

gif cred: @nerd4music

She also looks outside and sees birds flying which is indicating that the air is getting safer. (Side note: I love her outfits in this mall montage and how she really did bring more pops of color to the show. And the music is great too. 👌🏽)

As Michonne gets better at the push-ups I love how you can see the ring hanging from her neck. It feels symbolic of how Rick is still with her and motivating her to regain her strength. 

gif cred: @nerd4music

So then Michonne and Nat sit and eat and she gives him a map to go to Alexandria because she knows he’s strong enough to travel now. Nat says, “I go to your home and you go to Bridgers Terminal? It should be the other way around.”

Michonne says the s8 ep title from when Carl reveals he was bit as she tells Nat, “This is how it’s gotta be.” But Nat begs to differ and says no.

gif cred: @richardgrimes

Michonne tries to convince him again but Nat passionately cuts her off and emotionally declares, “This is all I got. Okay? You. That’s it” And my heart. ☹️ And then he does his signature thing of playing with his lighter as he more tearily says, “That’s it.” I love that Nat values Michonne this much. 🥲

So Michonne agrees to have him go with her in the morning and also she looks so pretty in her outfit. 😊

gif cred: @nerd4music

Nat says they need to make one stop first for his wagon and I love their little teasing exchange as Michonne asks, “What, you’re expecting me to pull it?” and he’s just matter-of-factly like, “Yeah I am.” 😋

Michonne asks if he’s coming along to see how it ends but Nat gravely says, “Nope. I know how it ends.”

Then without even making a big show of it, I appreciate that they pay homage to Michonne’s signature ability to make the walkers work for her as she and Nat arrive at Bridgers Terminal with a walker pulling their wagon. You just know that was Michonne’s idea and she and Nat have being inventive people in common. 

gif cred: @nerd4music

Michonne is super eager to see what she can find when they get to Bridgers Terminal but all that’s there is a giant shipwreck and the horrific sight of several piles of scorched bodies nearly impossible to identify.

gif cred: @richardgrimes

Michonne’s teary-eyed response to seeing this hurts my heart. 🥺 Like it’s painful to think for a moment she had to seriously wonder if this is the horrible fate that her husband met.

gif cred: @richardgrimes

And then in another act of immense love for her man, Michonne is shown searching every pile of burnt bodies into the night hours to try and see if any of them are Rick. If that ain’t love. 🥲

gif cred: @chaoticroad

The fact that the burned bodies all don’t have shoes makes things even more complicated. But again the resilience of Michonne Grimes is on display as she meticulously checks each one, even with knowing that they might bring her no answers or worse a devastating confirmation that Rick really is gone.

She checks until it’s literally too dark to see anymore and then we get a heartbreaking scene by a fire. 

It’s sad because earlier in the ep she was cozily by a fire with friends and laughing and now she’s by a fire and coming as close to losing hope as she’s ever come in years. 😢

But she still tries to hold onto some hope as she takes out Rick’s boots and hugs them. Just end me now, that sight is so heartrending. 😭 She loves Rick so much and would give anything to be holding him instead right now.

gif cred: @nat111love

Also, now knowing that she only feels safe with Rick, it feels like this moment of hugging the boots is her way to self-soothe as she’s feeling really lost and devastated and it’s like these boots are giving her at least a little of the comfort Rick gave her when they were together. They’re reminding her that somehow his story didn’t end on the bridge and she’s not crazy for still feeling he’s out there. 

I adore seeing Nat take care of Michonne in this state and wrap a blanket around her. 🥹 Just exactly the type of friendship Michonne needs and deserves.

Nat acknowledges the reality of the situation and how it’s likely a dead-end ever knowing if Rick is among the bodies. But Michonne says with conviction, “I felt him. I still feel him.” And I know that’s right. 👏🏽 That’s such a beautiful and powerful sentiment.

gif cred: @nat111love

I love the way TOWL really affirmed Richonne’s soulmate status. Like their souls are in every way connected and so of course even miles and miles apart she can still feel him.

And I bet she knows the way she feels Rick's presence is different than the way she feels Carl or Andre's. In s9 Michonne told Negan she sees Carl in everything so she obviously still feels his presence but in a way of someone who is no longer with her. With Rick, you can just tell that she feels him alive and breathing and walking the earth.

Again, with the immense amount of love Rick was still emitting to her while with the CRM it makes perfect sense that she can still feel him.

Nat tells Michonne that the Japanese on her phone means “believe a little bit longer” and Michonne silently reacts with tears in her eyes, knowing that's likely what Rick has been doing all these years.

gif cred: @nat111love

Michonne then notes that Nat has been telling her to go home. Nat says she should go home but she can still believe that Rick is out there. And then knowing that Danai is an incredible actor with even just her eyes and expressions alone, they zoom in really close as Michonne sheds tears and entertains an idea she’s fought so hard for years to not entertain.

She vulnerably says, “It’s been right in front of me, hasn’t it? All this time, it’s been right in front of me. It’s been so long. If he were alive…he would’ve found his way.” Ok that has my soul sobbing everytime. 😭 It’s so beautiful to see how much she loves him and so painful to see her voice break as she says this.

gif cred: @nat111love

And it’s touching because it again shows how much she believes in Rick. She knows if he could have been home by now he would’ve. But the thing is...Rick needs her in order to truly find his way and without her, he’s too lost to find his way on his own.

I love the way she says this line with so much love, belief, and care for Rick. Almost like she just wants to know even if Rick can’t be with her that he’s okay out there and that he’s found his way somehow, just as a person she loves and wants the best for.

gif cred: @nat111love

All and all, it just really moves me to hear Michonne say this. She knows that Rick Grimes would fight tooth and nail for his family so, considering he's been away from them for years, it might mean he’s not alive. And honestly, that's correct in a way because Rick isn’t alive. When the chance to see her again was taken from him, he lost himself and decided to die.

At this very moment, Rick is living life as the walking dead without her and so that’s why he hasn’t found his way. He lost his compass when he lost Michonne so he can’t get home without her. But I love how Michonne believes Rick would have found his way no matter what. 

Nat is comforting saying Michonne doesn’t know for sure if Rick is gone and then gives her a balanced perspective as he beautifully says, “You can believe he’s out there, that he’s not gone. You can believe a little longer and still go home to your kids. You can know when to go. You can do both.”

gif cred: @nat111love

And then I appreciate his supportiveness in letting Michonne know she doesn’t have to do it alone as he says, “I can do it with you. I will.” He’s the best. 🥹 And how I wish Nat could have gone to ASZ with Michonne and Rick. You just know he would become a beloved uncle to Judith and RJ. 🥲

Nat then tells Michonne something that she really needs to hear as he says, “It’s not giving up.” I think for Michonne, heading back home feels like failing and giving up on her true love when she knows and feels that Rick needs her, and she needs him, and her kids need them both.

Like for someone as loyal and determined as Michonne, going back without finding him would be such a hard and painful defeat. And you see that on Michonne's face as she sheds tears and seriously wrestles in her mind with how going back home now could feel like giving up on the man she loves.  

gif cred: @nat111love

Nat turns on the walkie and as they listen to the static Michonne let’s it all out as she bursts into tears and Nat hugs her like the good friend he is. That was such a raw vulnerable moment. 😭 I love that Michonne got to just release her emotions over everything by this fire because there’s clearly so much weighing on her.

gif cred: @nat111love

I know when hearing that static she’s longing to hear her children’s voices and be back with them. She’s longing to see her husband and be back in his arms too. She's been put through so much in mind and body after the CRM attack and put through even more before the CRM attack in her six or so years as a single mom and head of security.

And in this moment by the fire, you see her just bring all that emotion to the surface and finally know it’s time to go home, even without Rick as much as that breaks her heart.

gif cred: @nat111love

This scene by the fire was stunningly acted by Danai and Matthew. 👏🏽

And then - the episode cuts to "Now" as Richonne’s epic reunion is so close you can feel it in the air…literally. 😌👌🏽

[bronx-bomber87]

Hello my wonderful fandom :) I CANNOT believe we are at the finale already. This season went by in the blink of an eye. I was VERY excited for this finale and what it would bring. They don't have a ton of moments. But the ones they do the writers made count. My goodness I was happy and hopeful after this episode ended. Hard to believe we won't see our babies on screen till 2025. *grumble*

D sent me something about that actually (thank you bestie) Here it be. A.H. saying he's pretty sure all networks are doing this mid season 18 ep start. One of the reasons being the Election coming up. They want to protect shows and their ratings from the debates, coverage etc. And those usually happen on Tuesday nights. Which is actually really intuitive foresight from ABC. So to protect our ratings and show I get it. Especially if we wanna lock down a S8. I don't love it but I get it. Anyways lets get to it shall we? My last "mini" thoughts of the season.

6x10 Escape Plan

Always makes me nervous for Lucy going UC but still amazing to watch her in her element. Even if it makes my stomach tie in knots. Now maybe this is just me but Lucy seemed EXTRA uneasy on this OP. This is pure speculation on my part. But could be lending a little more credence to this not being the path for her? Just the feeling I got while watching her in these moments with with the kids in this one and the sneaking around.

I will say I do love seeing Lucy with the kids. Gives us a glimpse into her as a mama. I'm liking what I am seeing. Can't help but have that thought. I really can't. Chenford has taken over my brain and I'm very ok with it. Smitty's text to Lucy did crack me up. 'Red incoming.' Gotta love Smitty. Lucy is giving me a damn heart attack being undercover though.

The panic in her soul is so evident the minute she sees Monica is approaching. The way she guides the kids out of the room. Then the sheer terror when the kids wanna take a shorter exit. She has to pivot and redirect them quickly. I feel like the pressure of this specific UC mission was getting to her. I really do. It was felt in all her movements and body language through out these scenes IMO. I could be wrong but it was just a gut feeling I got watching her.

I think her expression in this scene after Monica departs is everything. Melissa be crushing it out here. Almost like she has to take a deep breath. Calm her racing heart down before unrooting herself from that spot to investigate further. I feel like her look of unease and panic here brings home the point I've been making.

Her questioning if doing UC is worth this stress? Worth the constant worry? Like I said back in my 5x20 review. Just because you're good at something doesn't mean it's meant to be your destiny. i.e. Lucy being a permanent U.C. Pretty sure her cover is blown after she runs right into him but she got the info she needed. At the expense of my own anxiety and worry though ha

The look in this scene oh my lord. How can they have so much chemistry with just one look? Melissa and Eric are a damn treasure to this fandom. To this amazing ship. Tim saying 'It's good to have you.' That loaded look between them. *screams into a pillow.*

You know that man is happier now that she's folded into this OP. His eyes were on her from the moment she stepped on scene. Be more in love with her Tim please. Then sharing a look with Angela. I’m dying. Angela is us we are Angela. She is the fandom in this moment watching this exchange. *sigh* So good.

Someone please tell me how do they look so amazing just standing next to one another? It's unreal how they can exude SO much chemistry just standing next to one another. Forever floored by the amount of physical chemistry these two have without even touching. It blows my mind in the best way.

Also I always enjoy me some Tim in T.O. mode it's sexy af. It revs my engine to watch him back in leadership mode. Not gonna lie. So very confident and sure of himself. Gah makes me need to cross my legs watching him in action LOL Sorry (sorta)Feral Caitlin made a return there haha But I do love seeing it. Like he’s getting his mojo back professionally. It’s nice to see. Does my heart good to watch it.

Oh my word they haven’t really been alone to talk (not counting the hug last ep) since 6x06. I’m so happy. I was legit buzzing watching this. My heart Tim telling her he took her advice and went to therapy. Yessss been waiting for this to unfold. Was hoping when they got a moment alone he would tell her about it. Look at him taking the first opportunity they have solo to tell her this. The growth of this man is incredible to see. I'm so proud of him it's insane. He takes a beat and makes the best of their time together. Breaking the uncomfortable ice with it. *happy sigh*.

I'm so proud of him. I can't state this enough. It is NOT easy to have this convo let alone be the one to start it. Another way to see he's grown. Tim is tackling the conversation. Being the one to broach it. Not Lucy dragging it out of him. I love her telling him that's not normal what happened for him. Definitely hasn't been my experience haha I do love her following up her little joke with being serious. Wanting to encourage him to keep going. I love this. Doesn’t want him to think one bad experience will tar the entire profession.

Tim nodding with a smile asking her if she wants to know the irony of it all? Lucy of course does. Tim continues on that she was a good therapist. The sessions they helped him. Damnit Blair.... I do adore the way Lucy is looking at him while he speaks about this. That angry look she started with has softened quite a bit. Truly hope he continues in S7 and we get to hear about it. God I would love to see sessions. Some of my all time fav Beckett scenes in Castle's S4 was getting to see her sessions with her therapist. It's on my wish list. *fingers crossed.*

His continued sharing with Lucy makes my heart so happy it might implode. Letting Lucy know therapy despite Blair being dirty has been good for him. She unearthed things he wasn't even aware of. I felt the same way too after a couple weeks. I felt more regulated tbh. I had massive sleeping problems from age 15 to when I decided to go to therapy in my 30's. After a couple sessions my sleeping issue's were gone for most part. I had been carrying my problems for so long. Like a pressure cooker with no release valve. So with no outlet they followed me into my unconscious and manifested into anxiety attacks. Couple weeks of sessions and my sleep issues all but disappeared.

Therapy when you truly lean into it can do wonderful things. i.e. Tim opening up to Lucy like this. Also look how SOFT Lucy looks with him as he bares his soul to her. I would be remiss if I didn't go in depth on this. The look of pride and love splayed all over her face is everything. Also reverence and love as well. This episode has a lot of loaded looks and I ate them all up. We started this scene with her face hard and holding a lot anger still. Then Tim melts it with his genuine vulnerability and sharing of what going to get help has done for him. Not only that but giving her props for the original advice in the first place. I'm beaming with delight.

We move onto Tim is being anxious his sessions are going be heard for evidence cause of the FBI investigation. Ugh. This kicks Lucy's brain into gear about that. Asking if he said anything revealing about her? His reply had me rolling. I adore him making a joke like this. Letting her know he mentioned ‘Freak in the sheets.' about her. I’m dying. I have no doubt there is some truth to that for them both LOL Look at our boy making jokes and getting her to laugh. God it was so so nice to see her laugh again. He earns a smile out of her too. The first time he's been the cause of that since her gifted her that KIA Radio in 6x05. I'm floating. They're both smiling by end of this scene. *sigh* We needed this.

We got to see some BAMF Lucy in this moment. Something that just like Tim in confident T.O. Mode has been missing since 6x06. I love her being like take this guy my man is in trouble. Getting him dropped off and instantly taking off after Tim. Who is also trying to pull off some bad assery tbh. A little recklessly but that's why Lucy is coming after him.

She see's his play and wants to be there to back it. Literally waste's no time in pursuit of him. Peels right out of that damn laundromat after him. Tim's play going south VERY quickly when this guy catches on to him in the bed of the truck. Sends his gun flying and my heart racing.

Adore the worried wifey look as she watches from the car. It's pouring out of her in that brief shot. Well done Melissa. Just like Eric she knows how to convey so very much with just a look. Lucy knows Tim is in trouble. That she can't just sit there in pursuit of the vehicle without helping him.

Especially after she watches him get pulled into the cab. Knowing that he is currently at a tactical disadvantage. No way in hell she is leaving him to fight this guy off alone. Telling Lopez to take the wheel as she makes her way out to help him.

Lopez's face when she makes the jump is shocked and amazed. Lucy continuing her BAMF streak on this OP. I loved the surprised look on Tim's face when she first jumps on the truck. Like he can't believe she just risked her life to come help him out. He can't stay in the feeling long as she takes the guy out for them. But it needed to be noted his utter surprise she was there to have his back. Risked her life to do so. Such a bad ass battle couple. Back to back finales we get to watch them be poetry in motion in the field with a battle.

Oh my lord what an epic scene to watch. Lucy jumping onto that moving truck bed to save her man. They take him down together. Their work dynamic easily coming back into play here. They don't miss a beat in this moment. Working as harmoniously as they always have in the past together in the field. I love the looks shared once they've stopped the truck.

Especially Tim's. He is so damn impressed with her. Always finds a way to blow him away with the bad ass she's become. Man is falling in love all over again. It shows all over the two looks he gives her in this scene. First one is his falling back in love again. I mean he already was but think sunk him deeper. Second one is more of just being in awe of her. The pride he feels watching the amazing cop she's developed into. I love these two so much.

Let me start with how happy it makes my heart that Tim smiles when she walks up to him. Despite all the hurt just the sight of her elicits a smile out of him automatically. His walking sunshine. Love of his damn life. She truly is his happy place in human form. Lucy making a crack about him taking a half day. Their banter still simmering beneath the surface. It's a little subdued in this moment but it's alive and well with Tim's reply. He is ever the gentlemen letting her go first.

His elevator version of holding the door for her. That chivalry never dying with him. It's the little things. Can't ignore how Lucy is looking at this man the entire scene. From start to finish. With such reverence and love. Still so in love with this man standing in front of her. Lucy can't help it. She is a moth to a flame with him. Especially with Tim thanking her for saving his life. Let's delve into that a little shall we? Tim Bradford is saying he didn't have it. Admitting fault he would've lost that battle without her.

Saying not only did he not have it but Lucy did. That he wouldn't be standing here without her. Giving her the kudos and all the praise for saving his life. Far cry from 1x01 and his future reaction to that moment in S5. This is a different Tim we see standing before us everyone. The amount of growth in this moment is immense. Because not only did she save his life but she saved him in a deeper sense. Feels like it's truly hitting him like a freight train the impact she's had on his life. I think there is double meaning to his words above. It's what leads him into this next section below.

The loving expression on Lucy's face when she replies ' You're Welcome.' That look of I'm still in love with you, I would do anything for you despite the hurt, and her realizing the deeper meaning of Tim thanking her. The growth she is currently seeing in him is prompting this soft/warm look and even softer reply. It's what encourages Tim to say his next portion. You can see him psyching himself up before he turns around to apologize. To own what he's done to them. To her.

Tim starts his apology by telling her he knows what he’s done (thank you lord for this) That he knows he ruined everything. You sure did babe...but you’re gonna earn it all back I know it. Lucy has the most loving and forgiving nature. The biggest heart. Also we can see there is still a tinge of anger to her expression at first above. So that journey will not be an easy one for Tim. Nor should it be. He has a lot to make up for. But my god will it be worth it in the end. I truly believe that. I'm going to be crying river's when we get there.

Look at how he has grown. Immediately spilling his guts emotionally to her twice in one episode. Not once but TWICE. Hell three times really. With saying she saved him and admitting fault to what he's done. I can't get over this. He had two really hard conversations with her in this episode. Swallowing that pride of his he's trying to hard to overcome. Doing this in order to communicate better with her. To show her he's putting in the time and the effort. To let her know he knows he messed up and is owning that. Something Tim wouldn't have done before. At least not easily. These are great strides for him. I couldn't be prouder of where they are ending the season for him. Imma need more therapy though in S7 you hear me writers?

Tim thanking Lucy for extending him the kindness she has shown him. *my damn heart.* That he can never explain how much he appreciates it. That she could've easily turned on him and he would've understood. But that's not Lucy. We all know that's not who she is. Or ever will be. It's that forgiving nature of her's that is one of the many reasons Tim is so damn gone for her. I think there is once again a double meaning to his words. To me Tim is saying this is for far more than just post break up. It's for their entire relationship. Together/apart and especially when they were not 1-4. The kindness and the empathy she's aways shown him. Even at his worst.

Like I said earlier it's all hitting him hard. The place she held in his life for so long and the impact she's had on him. Imma cry. A giant epiphany moment for Tim I think. Maybe starting to slowly understand the unconditional love she has for him. This scene made me tear up. That anger that is still present melts away a little more for Lucy. If she continues to see Tim work on himself. He shows her his continued growth. No reason she wouldn't take this man back when he's put in the work to re-earn that place in her life. Tim saying he's gonna spend rest of his life repaying her back for said kindness. *screams into the void.* In whatever small doses she allows of course.

Respecting her boundaries and hoping she will allow him to do so. It's the sweetest most sincere part of his apology. The way she looks at him as he departs. *heart clutch* You can see he's stunned her into silence. But also Lucy can see the growth in him and it’s written all over her face. This is a fantastic way to end the season for them. It wouldn’t be right to get back together right now or even just a 'we almost died' hook up. (Wonderful fic's out there for that just recently BTW.) Just wouldn’t. As much as my shipper soul LONGS for them to be back together. Legit longs so much it hurts. This was a good way to end them for the season. With some hope, some growth and a path forward leading us to S7.

Some Final thoughts below. With a Chenford hug to this lovely fandom of ours.

First off I want to thank you all for doing this not so mini review journey with me. I was nervous to do them. Even after doing 9 plus months of them with 1-5. This was different. It was first impressions. Hope you all enjoyed them. I'm more than happy to do this next season too. First impression thoughts for S7 as well if you are all interested. Let's move onto some final thoughts I'm having. You know months could pass by when we get to 7x01 in their timeline. I’m hoping he’s in therapy during this duration. Ready to prove he wants to earn her trust back. To earn her back. I don't think for one second that moment in the elevator is the last deep conversation they're going to have before we get a reconciliation. Tim has her love. Always has. Always will.

Lucy's decisions and responses in 6x10 show that. No matter what she loves this man. What he needs to gain back is her trust. To prove over and over again. He's there to stay. To show her through kind acts. To rebuild his rapport with her. I’m excited for that journey cause when we get there. *phew* God the fandom is gonna implode with happiness. It’ll be well earned. Their relationship is going to be even better with the growth Tim has done. (Hoping for some more for Lucy as well and getting the support she needs/deserves)We saw massive results in this episode alone. Can you imagine how it’ll be when they’re back together? *chefs kiss* it’ll make all the hurt and pain so worth it.

Getting emotional writing about this. This ship has a stranglehold on my emotions and I’m ok with it. Eric and Melissa love our passion for this couple. So I won’t be ashamed for the affect it has on me. I’m excited for s7. It’ll be a long hiatus. But we will get through it together. I will probably wait till mid July to do my thoughts fully fleshed out for S6. Think we all need time for finale to settle. For us too as well. I'm most definitely not ready to re-dive into everything just yet. Especially 6x05/6x06. But I'm hoping couple month hiatus for me will help with tackling that. Then we can start that journey for us all to go on with my deeper analysis.

As always thank you all for the likes, comments and reblogs. For being interested in my thoughts at all. It means the world you have no idea. Love this fandom, love this show and this incredible ship we are so fortunate to have. So once again thank you all for being on this journey of S6 with me. Like said earlier I’ll get started in my fleshed out S6 reviews come mid July. :)

~~~

Side notes-Non chenford

Monica cleaned up a mess for Blair. Manipulated her by helping her most Monica thing I've ever heard. Glad to finally have answers to that. I knew it felt like manipulation. She had too much of a conscience to be dead inside and doing it for money. Sucks cause she is very good at her job. That scene with Aaron was a mic drop moment for him. So proud of how far he came this season as well.

Friggin Nolan never listens. And get shot for not listening. In the ass. Because he's a pain in one. Was apropos. Also he's right back to being a dumb putz to me. It was short lived john you made it half an episode before falling out of my good graces LOL

Once again music amazing for their final scenes whoever handled that this season crushed it. Bringing out all my emotions.

See you all later this summer for my in-depth ones. Till then be kind and rally around each other. Gonna be a long hiatus.

[nipuni]

Happy finishing Dr Who!

I saw you've been watching other David Tennant things - have you seen his and Catherine Tate's version of much ado about nothing? Very good chaotic vibes and I highly reccomend. It's on the internet archive.

Do you have any favourite dr who eps?

Thank you so much!! 🥰 We have and we love it! So far from his filmography we have watched: Taking Over the Asylum, Blackpool, Casanova, Einstein and Eddington, Hamlet, Much Ado About Nothing, Richard II, Decoy Bride, The Escape Artist, Broadchurch, Mad to be Normal, Around the World in 80 Days, Inside Man, Good Omens and Doctor Who of course 😊

As for favourite DW episodes ooohhh there are so so many, let me pull up a list so I can go in season order 😆

S1: Father's day, The empty child/The doctor dances, Bad wolf/The parting of the ways

S2: The Christmas Invasion, New Earth, The Girl in the Fireplace, The Impossible Planet/The Satan Pit, Army of Ghosts/Doomsday

S3: Gridlock, 42, Human Nature/The Family of Blood, Blink, Utopia/The Sound of Drums/The Last of the Time Lords

S4: Voyage of the Damned, Fires of Pompeii, The Doctor's Daughter, Silence in the Library/Forest of the Dead, Midnight, Turn left

Specials 2008: The Next Doctor, The Waters of Mars, The End of Time I and II

S5: The Beast Below, Vincent and the Doctor, The Lodger, The Big Bang

S6: A Christmas Carol, The Impossible Astronaut/Day of the Moon, The Rebel Flesh/The Almost People, The Girl Who Waited, The Wedding of River Song

S7: The Rings of Akhaten, Hide, The Name of the Doctor, The Day of the Doctor

S8: Deep Breath, Listen, Mummy on the Orient Express

S9: Last Christmas, Under the Lake, The Zygon Inversion, Heaven Sent, The Husbands of River Song

S10: The Pilot, Oxygen, The Pyramid at the End of the World, World Enough and Time/The Doctor Falls, Twice Upon a Time

S11: It Takes You Away

S12: Spyfall part I, Fugitive of the Judoon, The Haunting of Villa Diodati

S13: The Halloween Apocalypse, Eve of the Daleks, The Power of the Doctor

Specials 2023: Wild Blue Yonder

and if I had to pick my most favourites I think they would beeee The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances, Doomsday, The Family of Blood, Blink, Silence in the Library/Forest of the Dead, Midnight, The waters of Mars, The End of time I and II, The day of the Doctor, Heaven Sent, The doctor falls and Wild Blue Yonder 🥰

This ended up being so long I'm so sorry 😭 AHH we are already rewatching and loving it even more the second time so this list will just get longer over time lmao

Thank you for the message!! I had so much fun answering this 😊❤️

[secondhandlovers]

Season 11

Thoughts on s8 so far

[thestupidhelmet]

i remembered your posts about "one difference" fics and i was rewatching jackie and hyde scene on youtube and this just came to me: how would you have written them getting back together s7 eps 16/17 (it still annoys me the way they got back together)

Thank you both! 😊

(The pic of the second ask was sent a few months after the first.)

Of note is the fact Jackie and Hyde didn't reconcile in 7x17 in the original version of season 7. That reconciliation was added once season 8 was greenlit to give fans a few more J/H episodes before the rewritten S7 finale -- originally the series finale, where Hyde and Jackie get engaged -- that leaves the state of Jackie and Hyde's relationship as the cliffhanger (which was intended to be resolved far differently in S8, but the choice of replacement showrunners destroyed it and the end of the show).

My version of the reconciliation episode wouldn't allow for that finale cliffhanger. The following ficlet is one idea I have.

One Difference: Jackie and Hyde Reconcile In-Character

Jackie and Hyde sat in the basement together, him in his chair and her on the sofa. Kelso wanted to show Fez a new trick he learned from Betsy, but they had to go to the Formans' backyard for it.

"But Betsy is an infant," Fez said as they exited through the basement back door."

"Exactly," Kelso said like Fez didn't understand logic. They were gone.

Jackie (to Hyde): You're still here.

Hyde: Yup. That a problem?

Jackie: I'm just surprised. I've gotten used to you leaving me.

Hyde: Let's just watch TV.

Jackie: Sure ... maybe the Price Is Right is on.

Hyde bristled at the mention but kept his attention on the TV. His shades made watching the black-and white images tough, but what he heard was more aggravating.

Jackie: Why did you leave me so abruptly at the public access studio? You were really nice and supportive. I didn't expect that either --

Hyde: I said what I came to say. It was your time. Didn't want to take it.

Jackie placed her hand on her heart. "I was going on about how happy I was about being independent. You know how hard that's been for me, getting that confidence. But you went there to say something else, didn't you?"

Hyde was silent

"Didn't you?" Jackie repeated, but Hyde stayed silent. "Say it to me now."

Hyde shifted his weight in his chair. He might've been more open last week, but that time had past.

"This is our first date all over again." Jackie shook her head and focused on the TV.

"What're you talkin' about?"

"I told you I didn't feel anything after our kiss, and you lied and said you didn't either. You're still lying to me."

"And you're lyin' to me. About what you wanted to tell me at Grooves."

"How do you -- I mean, I did not ... damn." Jackie glanced down at her lap. "What's the point in telling you the truth? That's what you thought on our first date, isn't it? I didn't have feelings for you, so you had no reason to tell me you did have feelings for me."

Hyde exhaled a heavy breath. "Look, I wasn't gonna hijack your victory last week. You've been afraid of not bein' able to support yourself, not bein' a success -- all that crap -- and I get it 'cause I've had the same crap in my skull. What I wanted changed that day."

"Changed ... " Jackie stood and approached him. Her legs were inches from his knees.

Hyde pressed his back hard against the chair; her gaze burned through him. "Not in general, man. Just that day. I wanted you to feel good about yourself. Not us. You."

"Us?" Jackie said softly "Us?" she said louder. "What do you mean us?"

She was shouting now. Hyde winced at the volume but said, "I got intel you'll be pissed about me knowin'. I pushed for it 'cause I ... needed a guarantee before I -- would you back up a little?"

"No." She crossed her arms over her chest and, after a second, gasped. "Oh, my God, Fez blabbed! He told you I -- " She pressed her lips into a thin line. "Nope. I'm not gonna say it to you."

Hyde shrugged. "Then that's it, I guess."

"That's not it. You owe me."

"How do you figure?"

"You have a remarkably good memory. Use it."

Hyde clenched his jaw, but he went over major events in his and Jackie's relationship. The first time she said she loved him and didn't care if he said it back. She'd just needed him to know. The first and only time he said he loved her, not for her sake but because he was scared of losing her.

He'd never stopped being scared. That was his freaking problem. He couldn't commit to her beyond the moment since the moment was all that counted. He learned that truth from his mom and Bud's marriage -- but it was their truth. It didn't have to be his and Jackie's.

He removed his shades. "I love you. That's it."

"Okay, now I'm confused," Jackie said. "That's it what?"

"That's the only guarantee I can give: I love you."

She knotted her fingers together. "For ... for how long?"

"It's a guarantee, not a warranty. It doesn't run out."

"But you ran out on me after promising to go to the LoPPs party."

Hyde stood from his chair, and Jackie stepped back. "I ran away, man. All right? I ran away 'cause I saw us together in the future, and the only futures I know are divorce, prison, and death. That's what 'before life goes to crap' meant." He risked clasping her shoulder; she didn't flinch from his touch. "Nothin' to do with you. All me."

"But our future can be whatever we make it, Steven." She was pleading with him, and his chest ached. "I'm sorry."

"Huh?" His eyes had narrowed. She had to clarify before he filled in the gaps himself.

"Our. Us. We both forgot those words until today. I shouldn't have made you promise to go to another event you'd obviously hate."

She had to mean the LoPPs Christmas party. He held up his hand. "Hold on a sec. You didn't make me promise. I promised, and I broke it."

"You did what Michael used to to, say something to appease me because I was too controlling then go behind my back to get a sense of freedom. But you just played with toys, not another woman's -- toys."

He used ever but of willpower not to stroke her sad face. "Doesn't excuse that I was a dillhole. I hate bein' disrespected, but I disrespected you, man. You didn't deserve that. I could've sucked it up, but my head wasn't there. It was up my ass."

Jackie laughed a little. "And my head was up the LoPPs' asses. They're like a group filled with clones of my mom. 'Being single is a sign you're not good enough to get a man.' 'Marriage is the key to happiness, so get married as soon as possible.'"

"Those direct quotes?"

"Close enough." She grasped his hand. He left his fingers loose. "None of my time with you has felt like a waste. I'm just scared of how much I have to lose. I'd rather lose it now then let down my guard and lose it when I think I'm safe."

She was speaking his language, as she so often did. He tightened his grip on her hand. "You're safe. Actually safe. ... Am I?"

"Oh, God, Steven, yes!" She cradled his cheeks between her palms and kissed him. His lips tingled, and his insides grew warm after a frigid internal winter. He'd missed this sensation, missed her, for too long, but he withdrew from her mouth. "What?" she said. "What is it?"

"I'm not proposing any time soon. You've got to be cool with that if this, if we're gonna work."

"I don't need a proposal. I just need you."

He allowed himself the barest of smiles before kissing her back, this time full of the fiery adoration he felt for her. Her breaths sped from her nose, but she held onto his waist and matched his intensity.

They ended up on the basement's sofa, lost in each other, but a startling image reached his consciousness: him in a jewelry shop, buying an engagement ring. Jackie hadn't graduated high school yet. He was only nineteen, but just like they weren't Bud and Edna, they weren't Forman and Donna. They could get engaged and stay engaged for years. Marriage could wait until they were truly ready

In this moment, though, he and Jackie were reconnecting in every way. That was more than good enough for now. It destroyed his fear. He and Jackie were solid, and he trusted they'd do whatever was necessary to keep it that way.