#from ‘I’m gonna maim this kid’ to ‘if anything happens to him I’ll kill everyone in this castle and then myself’ in like a day & a half

[bitterseaproduction]

Aemond getting his eye or forcing Luke to give it to him, only for the wound to become infected and Luke’s bedridden and delirious and going through what will probably be a slow, agonizing death among mostly strangers in enemy territory while Aemond is just there like🧍

[writer-room]

Siblings: Chapter Three

AO3

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 4

Summary: The Bats reflect on how their thoughts about siblings have changed over the years. Some opinions stayed, others didn't.

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Jason was glad he didn’t have any siblings.

There was a point in his life where he longed for an older brother or sister, when he was younger and fluctuating in and out of his mom's apartment that smelled like a different drug every week. Someone to teach him the ropes and beat up the bigger kids when they stole the food he’d found or the pocket money he’d snatched up.

Nowadays he was grateful he didn’t have anyone to share resources with.

Sure, he didn’t have anyone looking out for him, but that was for the best. He couldn’t learn how to survive on his own if he didn’t get hit a few times, right? 

And a younger sibling was out of the question. He couldn’t look after some toddler while he was barely functioning himself. Hell, if he had an older sibling, he wouldn’t have blamed them if this hypothetical sibling ditched him after a month tops.

Attachments in Crime Alley were for people who made gangs, who had followers or brothers-in-arms. That was the best you could get, but don’t expect any of them to risk their lives for you.

A sibling would’ve been seen as a weakness. Someone others could torment to get what they wanted out of him.

He really didn’t want to think about another kid being stuck in this dump with him, either.

It was one of the small mercies of life, that he didn’t have any kin to drag him down.

,

“Why are you here, again?”

“Because unlike you, Father prefers someone do their job efficiently.” 

Jason snorted, side-stepping the henchman who charged him, kicking his leg out and letting him slam his face right into an alley wall.

“I think blasting heads is pretty efficient,” Jason said, twirling one of said guns in his hand as Damian kicked in the face of a second henchman. “But, alas, I’ll have to settle for horrible maiming.” He said, pausing to shoot two fleeing men in the backs of their legs, sending them toppling to the ground.

“Change of heart?” Damian grunted, kicking a goon in the back and using the motion to body-slam into another. “I didn’t think you were capable of such a thing.”

“You wish,” Jason snorted. “Unfortunately, Nightwing would break his no-murder rule just for me if he knew I dared kill in the presence of his majesty with nobody else to be a buffer.” He said with a remorseful sigh.

“Tt,” Damian rolled his eyes, he always made an exaggerated head motion when he did like he was making sure people could tell through the whites of his mask. 

“He’s foolish to think that would do anything.” He said, picking up the unconscious body of one of the goons he’d knocked out and tossing it to the side of the alley. “I’ve killed far more than you could dream of.”

“Keep telling yourself that,” Jason said, his tone bordering on babying. “But, yeah, ol’ Wing’s got his priorities weird.” He shrugged, letting off another shot when he saw one of the men try to grab what looked like a knife from their scattered supplies.

“Maybe he’s just afraid of us bonding.” He continued, watching as Damian stood before four men splayed on the ground by broken wooden boxes, only two of them barely conscious and cowering away.

“And what, pray tell,” Damian said, psyching out the men by jerking towards them, startling them back against the wall, before turning to Jason with an unamused look. “Would you think to bond over?”

“Let’s see,” Jason hummed, leaning back against the opposite alley wall, gun resting on his shoulder as he counted off his fingers. “History with the League of Assassins, died at one point, killed people, fairly badass if I do say so myself, mothers with horrible morals, should I go on?” He said with a grin.

Damian paused for a moment, eyes narrowed. He thought for a moment before raising his head again to meet Jason’s gaze, a surprising lack of unbridled fury in them.

“Does that not also apply to Orphan?”

Jason paused, caught off-guard. He frowned, recounting off the points he made before staring at Damian, glad that his helmet hid his disturbed expression.

“Damn,” Jason whistled. “Guess the three of us need to bond sometime.”

“I’m sure she will enjoy being included,” Damian hummed, looking over his gloves as one of the seemingly unconscious men behind him opened his eyes. “Though I imagine Father would have some complaints about--”

Now, in Jason’s defense, he hadn’t been paying attention to Bane’s goons. As far as he was concerned, the fight was over. Which was why his attention was on Damian, and not anything around Damian.

Which meant that when one of the men who had been playing possum behind Damian jumped to his feet, gripping one of the wooden boards from the broken boxes in his hand, he barely flinched. In one movement, the man swung the plank of wood like a one-armed batter, connecting with Damian’s head.

Jason jerked the moment the wood hit, immediately sending Damian right to the pavement. He was firing off a shot before he even registered aiming it. The man yelped, falling back and clutching his side as he screamed out swears.

Jason ignored him in favor of crouching down while cursing under his breath, shaking Damian. The kid was blanked for a good few seconds before he jerked and stirred. Not too bad of a hit, not even out for more than a minute. He blinked his eyes rapidly, grumbling incoherently as Jason wrapped an arm around his front, drawing Damian up to his chest.

“B’s gonna kill me,” Jason grumbled, tightening his hold on the boy as he weakly felt around, gripping onto Jason’s arm.

The man wasn’t screaming as much as before, but he was still shouting as he gripped the wooden plank again, yelling about how he was gonna kill Jason or something. He wasn’t really in the mood to care.

Instead, he turned around, still holding Damian upright as he tried to regain consciousness. The man, with one hand still clutching his side, was raising the plank of wood again and waving it wildly around.

“Oh would you shut up?” Jason snapped, aiming his gun.

He fired off two more shots. He didn't pay attention nor particularly worry about where the bullets hit. The man finally slumped against the alley wall, weakly holding himself together and finally shutting his mouth.

Jason holstered his gun, freeing his other hand to wrap around Damian’s chest and hoist him up. Damian was shaking his head, eyes still blinking rapidly.

“The hell?” Damian mumbled.

“B talk to you with that mouth?” Jason lightly teased, shaking Damian slightly. 

Despite that, he still scooped up Damian, letting his head lay on his shoulder as he supported him.

“If you bite me for this, I’m dropping you off the first roof I see.” Jason threatened, stepping over one of the other men strewn out on the ground. “I know you haven’t gotten rabies shots, and I’m not taking that chance.”

There were balconies and window sills along the building to the left of the alley, so he used that. One arm kept a muttering and waking up Damian situated while he jumped between the balconies and used his free hand to grab onto the windowsills. It was a slower going than he normally liked, but he figured carrying Damian like a football wouldn’t go over too well.

The second his head popped up over the roof, he was greeted with the sight of black boots with thick blue stripes. One of the feet was softly tapping with slight impatience.

“Goddamnit,” Jason cursed, thunking his head on the edge of the roof, which was pretty uncomfortable considering his helmet was in the way and he was currently dangling by one arm about four stories up.

“I should’ve figured the sounds of murderous screaming were caused by you.” Dick said, crouching in front of Jason with a cheeky grin that crinkled his domino mask. “Having fun?”

“Right now? Worst time I’ve had in weeks,” Jason huffed, pulling himself up higher to reveal Damian hanging off his shoulder.

Dick’s smile dropped instantly. He reached out as Jason offered Damian to him, quickly taking the kid in the gentlest way that only Dick could pull off. Jason almost teased him for it, treating someone like Damian of all kids as fragile. He could be hit by a semi-truck and walk it off like it was an inconvenience. 

But Dick was clearly on the brink of having a panic attack, and it wasn’t any fun teasing him when that was happening. All it did was rile him up in the ‘I’m going to curl in a corner and try not to cry’ way and not the superiorly funnier ‘I’m going to punch your teeth in’ way like Damian or Tim.

“He’s fine,” Jason assured him, rolling onto the roof as Dick pushed Damian somewhat upright. At least the kid could properly hold his head up now. “Just took a blow to the head, was barely out for a second. More stunned than anything, I think.”

“Being knocked out is not fine.” Dick stressed, holding onto Damian tighter as he started growling and weakly trying to push Dick away.

“He’s getting better!” Jason huffed, gesturing towards him. “The brat’ll live. Honestly, you didn’t treat the rest of us like glass this after we died.”

“You lost all pity for it when you tried to kill everyone and bring up your death every five minutes,” Dick deadpanned, his worry breaking the moment his gaze left Damian. “And for the record, I do worry about you the same way, it’s just that Dam--Robin here is still a child.”

“Don’t patronize me,” Damian grumbled, still trying to peel Dick’s hands off him.

“He speaks!” Jason gave a sarcastic cheer. “Think you’ll live to see another day?”

“What even happened?” Dick demanded, ignoring Jason’s comments as he stood, helping Damian to his feet. 

“Took out some of Bane’s lackeys down there,” Jason said, pointing where he came from with his thumb. “Kid presumably ran off from the old man again and decided to grace me with his presence and help out. Just got a little distracted, he’s fine.”

“Please don’t tell me you killed the guy who did this,” Dick begged, giving Jason an apprehensive look.

“First of all, if I did, he’d deserve it.” Jason said, crossing his arms. “Second of all, no, I didn’t...I think,” He frowned, looking back towards the direction of the alley. “I didn’t actually check. Shot him a few times, though.”

“Okay, okay, stop,” Dick said, raising a hand up. “Every word out of your mouth is making me more anxious by the minute. I’d rather not know.”

“Oh, so when I kill people, it’s a heinous act,” Jason scoffed. “But when a certain ex-assassin lady and demon child kill someone, suddenly you can make excuses.”

“I do not make excuses--”

Damian, with one of his arms freed, batted at Dick with increasing violence until his brother finally released him with obvious hesitation.

“If you two are done bickering like schoolgirls over makeup,” Damian gruffed, pushing himself away. “I believe we are finished here.”

“You could’ve changed ‘schoolgirls’ to ‘Dick and anyone with eyes’ and your statement would’ve stayed the same.” Jason muttered.

“The only thing you know about makeup is how to cover bruises.” Dick retorted, hands on his hips. 

“And you only know how to look like a drag queen with excessive glitter.”

“I’ll have you know I look amazing in drag.”

“Obviously, but that is literally the only makeup you know--”

Jason only cut himself off when Damian attempted to roll his eyes and leave without them, instead swaying and stumbling into his steps. He shot out a hand and grabbed Damian by the back of his cloak like the scruff of a cat, holding him up.

“You wanna do this the easy way or the hard way?” Jason said, pulling him back. “Because I’m not against harming a child if it means I can get you back to the Manor in three pieces at worst.”

Damian growled and looked like he was contemplating spitting on him. Jason held his gaze, knowing that if he took off his helmet to give a proper glare that Damian would take the moment of broken eye contact to bolt or something equally stupid.

Dick’s eyes shifted between the two of them with a mix of nervousness and confusion. 

“...you will be the one to inform Orphan of the bonding meeting, and will be the one to keep her from doing anything abnormally ridiculous, and whatever other messes she causes during and after.” Damian negotiated slowly.

“Deal,” Jason released Damian, pushing him towards Dick. “Can we go now? I’m getting bored of this already.”

“You’re so impatient,” Dick tutted, looking like he was about to pick up Damian before thinking better of it and deciding to just wrap an arm around his side. “And what did he mean by bonding? Are you two actually getting along?” He gasped in a melodramatic fashion.

“We’re bonding over dying, the League of Assassins, and terrible mothers.” Jason said calmly as Dick pulled out his grappling gun, pausing at Jason’s words.

“And killing people,” Damian added.

“And killing people,” Jason nodded wisely. “We’re getting Cass in on it, too.” He said, sidestepping away from Damian’s attempt to kick him and muttering about using names.

“...as the responsible one, I cannot, in good faith, recommend having an amatuer group therapy session.” Dick said after a moment. “As your brother, however, I commend you getting a hobby that doesn’t involve maiming someone.”

“It’s not group therapy,” Jason scoffed, patting his belt down, wondering if he’d remembered to grab a grappling hook of his own. “We’re not softies who talk about our feelings to professionals like some commoners. We bad-mouth traumatic events like the well-adjusted people we are.” He said matter-of-factly.

“You can’t bully me about going to therapy but then get pissy when I so much as joke about leaving.”

“I can and we will.” Jason said, to which Damian nodded in agreement. “Someone in this family has to convince the little ones to find a non-murderous psychiatrist.”

“You realize that you count as one of the ‘little ones,’ right?” Dick raised a brow. “You’re younger than me.”

“I’m an adult.”

“You count as a little one in my heart.”

Jason and Damian made over exaggerated gagging noises, to which Dick rolled his eyes at, despite his smile, as he withdrew his grappling gun.

“Oh hush, both of you. We’ve got a certain someone to check for a concussion.” He chastised.

“I do not have a concussion.” Damian insisted.

“We’re checking, anyway.” 

Damian groaned dramatically, Jason snickering as he shook his head, Dick giving his--their--little brother a light scolding.

They were all going to be the second death of him, he swears.

[charlie-boio]

The Only One For Me Part One

Summary: Everyone gets assigned a magical allegiance once they turn 16: Healers, Electrics, Shifters, and Darks, who were more often referred to as Voids. Once you reach 25, you no longer age until you meet soulmate.

After being outcasted by the world so long ago, Stiles Stilinski gave up on ever subjecting his soulmate to being with a Dark and decided that if the world would only ever treat him like it, he’ll be exactly what they wanted him to be: Void.

Word Count: 6,312

A/N: So, I really like this idea. Also I meant for this to be like a 5,000 word fic but it’s gonna be longer and this is now a two part fic because I procrastinated too hard and now my family is yelling at me to spend time with them. I’m sorry it took me awhile to write again lol I just needed to sit down and write. Anyways this is for @writingsbychlo Void Month, even though it’s the last day for it. This was a little bit inspired by her Stone Walls story because I love magic and the Billie Eilish song COPYCAT. I’ll try tagging those but I’m super new to posting new content so I have no idea how to do it lmao but I’ll give it a shot because y’all should check it out 😊 anyways I hope you enjoy this!!

Warnings: angst, smut but nothing too outrageous but it probably qualifies as rough smut, violence, blood, attempts at self-harm, mentions of suicide, I feel like I’m missing stuff so if I miss something and it triggers you I am so so sorry

I would also classify this as NSFW so read at your discretion.

  If you had known him back then, you wouldn’t believe that this dark, twisted, and fucked up man was that same bright and smiling boy before.

Stiles Stilinski was always a happy kid, and despite his awkwardness, people were naturally drawn to him. Sure, he had a biting, sarcastic sense of humor, but he was kind, sweet, and he cared for other people more than he cared for himself. He had loving parents, dozens of friends, and a welcoming home. His future, safe to say, was bright.

He was so excited to find out was his magical allegiance was; several friends had gotten it already and were unabashed in flaunting their powers about. He hoped he would be an Electric, wielding electricity through his fingers like the superheroes he always grew up idolizing was a dream come true. Of course, he’d be happy with being a Healer or a Shifter too.

Stiles couldn’t wait to meet his soulmate either. He already had gift ideas, dates planned, and he couldn’t wait to introduce them to all his friends, his family, and especially his mom. He wanted to travel the world with them, and he promised his unknown soulmate that he would protect them from anything that could ever harm them. He also didn’t see why he couldn’t get a head-start on gift making and love letters. After all, if they were his soulmate, they would be just as eager about all this soulmate stuff as he was.

Stiles didn’t know much about Darks, more commonly known as Voids. He just knew that they were extremely rare, and pretty much pure evil. There was only one thing anyone ever told him: stay far away from Voids.

Of course, you could imagine the absolute dread he felt when he found out what his magical allegiance was.

His parents, albeit afraid, still loved him and tried their best to reassure him, but they couldn’t stop his tears as he fled to his room, sobbing uncontrollably. He hoped with all his might that he would be different, that his friends would still love him, that he would still be able to do all the things he so desperately had wanted to do with his life.

You couldn’t imagine his grief on how wrong he had been.

It wasn’t subtle, it was instantaneous the change. Everyone turned against him: friends, teachers, even strangers he used to smile at from the sidewalk. He racked up two weeks’ worth of detention for things no one got detention for, and he had sat alone at the lunch table. The weeks flew by of him begging for people to understand he wasn’t any different! He hadn’t changed! He even pledged to never learn or master his powers, whatever they were, but it never made a difference. They all abandoned him, simply for something he had no control over, and that he would take back if he could.

It continued like this for two years, and slowly the outside world began to drain away the once happy boy. Day by day the light in his eyes dulled, he walked slower, and he grew quiet. He became a shell, empty of everything he once was. One day he looked through his drawer, seeing all his plans that he had made with his soulmate. How could he even have one? With the way the world was, even if he did have one, why would he ever subject them to a life with a Void? What kind of monster would do that?

He couldn’t bring himself to throw away those plans though. Despite his resolve to never meet his soulmate, somewhere deep down, he still wanted them to love him as much as he loved them already.

His parents will still supportive, seeing how it was the outside world changing him, not his supposed evil and vicious powers. They consoled him when it was a particular hard day and showed him every ounce of love and affection that they could. Stiles was forever grateful.

Which is why it only hurt even more when he had walked home from school and saw his house engulfed in flames.

He didn’t think much of the threats, they happened all the time since he was 16…he never thought anyone would act on it…h

The tears came fast before he could stop them. A sharp pain shot through his heart and flowed through his body as he fell to his knees. Even if they were alive, there’s no way in hell that anyone would come help him, a Dark…a Void…even though his parents were both Healers. They hadn’t done anything wrong…they had only loved him despite everything.

He stood shakily and ran. Ran away from everything. From his childhood home, from the town he grew up in, and from the house that was completely engulfed in flames. Stiles ran into the woods, limbs shaking while he collapsed again, resting against a tree, his head in the palms of his hands.

For the first time he no longer felt empty, he felt angry. How dare they? How they accuse him of being evil when he had nothing wrong all his life? Why kill his parents, the only people who ever truly loved him and were his one chance of being happy? The more he thought about it, the angrier he became. He snapped.

Fine, he thought. You all win, if you want me to be Void…I’ll be Void…

He stood up while rolling his neck, feeling the bones crack. He flexed his shoulders and raise up his palm, about to do something that he had never attempted. Stiles panicked for a second, then a burst of energy blasted him back, throwing him against a tree a hundred feet away. He groaned in pain and frantically looked around, wondering what had caused that. Then he realized…it was him!

Stiles realized everyone wasn’t afraid of him because he was evil, it was because everyone knew that he would be powerful.

He stood up and tried again, and dark spiraling lines flew from his hands and up into the sky. He still stumbled but held his footing. He laughed, enjoying the power flowing through his veins. He smirked, closing his fist.

Stiles turned back to the town, feeling something for the first time in a few years. He knew exactly what he had to do

*

*

  You were nervous, to say the least. She took deep breaths while walking up to the gated community of the Voids.

Everyone knew the story from 20 years ago, how Stiles Stilinski took up the name Void for himself and single-handedly drove everyone out of his hometown. Miraclously, nobody died, but plenty were maimed. He threatened anyone who would come to try to take back his town, and nobody needed to be told twice. From the around the world, Darks had come to this place seeking refuge from the outside world. Since this incident, Stiles Stilinski was known to the rest of the world and the true Void, and they all referred to him as such. The world hated him; he was everything parents warned their children about at night. He was the boogeyman, made of pure evil.

Except to the Darks. They worshipped him as their savoir, someone who saved them and gave them a place to live out in the open instead of casted out into the deepest darkest corners of the world. Many had even found their soulmates, after centuries of being alone.

Some people had also taken refuge here, even though they weren’t a Dark. Well there had been some tension, people in this town had learned that they all really weren’t any different from each other, and they all live in peace together, even if the rest of the world is divided.

Although, there have been new safe havens that have formed in these past 20 years, Stiles was the first to revolt back.

Which is why you were nervous because when you had decided to leave your parents who thought cruelly of Darks, you hadn’t expected to come across the original safe haven. Even though they had accepted others, you still felt a pool of dread hitting your stomach. Darks were weary of others for a reason…

As you approached the large gate, it opened partly, allowing someone from the community to walk out. You could make out his tanned skin and crooked jaw; reading his energy, you knew instantly he was a Void, which only made you more nervous. What if they don’t accept me?

He stopped in front of you but kept a good distance. He cocked his head to the side. “What are you doing here?” he asked cautiously.

“I-I need a place to stay”

“What? As a vacation?” You flinched automatically, feeling worse with every passing minute. If you couldn’t come here, where the fuck would you go?

“No…to live. I ran from home because they had driven out all the other Voids, and I didn’t agree with how the felt. A lot of my friends were Voids…they were good people,” You tried your best to seem confident, but your voice wavered. The boy stared coolly at you, not buying your story.

“How come you’re so damn nervous then?” he asked, malice dripping from his voice.

“Because…if you guys don’t want me here, which I understand, then no one will,” his eyes instantly softened at your words, nodding in the direction of the gate.

“Follow me,”

Relief instantly flooded your chest, a small smile creeping on your lips as you followed the boy. Together, you walked through the gates as they shut behind you, signaling the end of that chapter of your life. You could scream from the joy, but kept quiet, choosing to instead go up to the boy leading you around.

“Um…what’s your name?” you asked tentatively.

He turned to you, smiling slightly. “You don’t have to be nervous anymore, we won’t randomly throw you out. Promise,” he held out his hand to you, “and my name is Scott. Scott McCall. My mom and I moved here after my dad found out I was a Dark.”

“Oh…I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’ve learned through the years that the ones that truly care about you don’t care what your magical allegiance is. They just care about who you are…” he trails off, smiling to himself. He’s probably thinking of his soulmate, you thought to yourself. You wished more than anything to meet your soulmate.

“I’m y/n y/l/n,” you stated, snapping Scott out of his thoughts for a brief moment. He nodded to her, acknowledging the name. They walked in silence for a brief moment before he was giving her a tour of the town, telling her which houses were available and who lived where. You were amazed on how well people have acclimated here. You were hopeful for your future. After walking around town for a little while longer, you two settled into silence as you moved into another part of town. “So, who are they?”

Scott crooked an eyebrow. “Who?”

You smiled knowingly. “Your soulmate. You were thinking of them after talking about your dad.”

He smiled brighter at you; a light dusting of pink covered his cheeks. “Allison. Her situation was similar to yours, her parents didn’t approve of Voids,” his jaw ticked slightly. “But she didn’t feel the same way. We met here, and as soon as we made eye contact, we knew. Unfortunately, we were in town meeting that still had at least another hour…”

You laughed loudly at that. Of course you knew about how once you and your soulmate discovered each other, the sexual attraction between you two is remarkably high, to the point that you guys pretty much spend the day trying to satisfy your sexual needs. The longer you put it off, the stronger it gets. The thought of even surviving an hour seemed impossible to you.

He grinned sheepishly at you, the tension from earlier long gone. “Her dad eventually came around, and they reconciled. They live down that way now,” he nodded his head toward a winding road. “And I live a few blocks from them. We’ve decided to take things a little slow, considering we were 18 when we met, so we figured we had all the time in the world to settle down.” You nodded at his words, genuinely happy for you. “Have you met yours yet?”

Your shoulders slumped. “No, not yet. Hopefully soon though. Maybe I’ll met them here,” You wanted more than anything to meet your soulmate. It was something you’ve dreamed about ever since you’ve heard of having one. You only hoped that they would be just as excited to meet you. “I had a boyfriend back home, but looking back now, I’ve realized he was rather abusive. He also hated Darks with a passion, and tried to forbid me from fraternizing with them”

“What was he, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“A shifter, I’m-“

“A healer. I know,” He smiled at you. “Do you give health or take away?”

You paused before answering, “…take away. Another reason for leaving…” Scott merely nodded, not pressing the subject further.

The two of you turned a corner to see a lone house on top of a hill. It was smaller than the other houses in this town, and looked to be uninvited to the rest of the community. You turned to Scott. “Who lives up there?”

Scott looked up toward the house, and for a second you thought you saw a flicker of sadness in his eyes, but it was gone as fast as it came. “That’s…Stiles…Stiles Stilinski.”

Your eyes widened. “He’s still here? He’s not dead? No one’s seen him…”

Scott laughed humorlessly at that. “Well, he’s had it pretty rough, even for a Void. He doesn’t come into town often, and when he does, he usually keeps to himself. Even though it’s a safe haven, he’s still distrusts everyone. Of course, he sure as hell doesn’t step foot outside those gates,” You looked up at the house, feeling such sorrow for this Stiles, despite having never met him before.

Scott cleared his throat. “You’ll definitely see him around, but don’t expect him to say hi or anything,” You nodded, walking back up the path toward some of the open houses.

*

*

  Stiles held out his hand to the baby doe, some bread being offered to the nervous creature. It took a tentative step forward, sniffing the air. He crouched down even lower, and extended his arm a little further for them. Slowly, the doe started to walk toward him.

“It’s okay,” he whispered, holding out his hand even further. Eventually, it reached his hand and ate the bread from his palm. He tipped his head and smiled slightly at the baby.

Suddenly, the doe’s eyes widened, and it sprinted away from him. Stiles knelt there still, his face falling, before he heard the sound of footsteps behind him and he grew annoyed.

“What do you want, Scott?”

Scott rolled his eyes. “I know you like me, Stiles, you wouldn’t have let me come up this far otherwise.”

“What do you want?”

“Relax, it’s not another attempt to drag you downtown,” Scott sighed, bringing a hand up to rub at his jaw. “I’m just here to tell you there’s a new member in our community.”

Stiles turned to him scowling. “I’m not the mayor, I don’t need to know that shit.”

“Well, the mayor thinks you do; he considers you at least the owner of this town.”

“I don’t collect rent.”

“You know what I mean,” Scott said. Stiles stood up and brushed past him, walking into the house. To his dismay, Scott followed him. “Her name’s y/n y/l/n. She’s not a Dark, but she believes they deserve equal treatment like the others here so she left her town and family. She’s a Healer, but she takes away health instead of giving it.” Scott paused, waiting for his reaction. When Stiles didn’t give one, Scott moved toward the door.

He don’t what came over him, but suddenly his mouth was moving without him telling it to, “Where does she live?”

Scott stopped, turning abruptly toward him. Stiles tried to maintain his composure; he knew this was something he never asked. Scott gave him an odd look before answering, “She lives on Milton Road, not far from Allison and I.” Stiles nodded. When he didn’t say anything else, Scott left him to be on his own. Despite the cool interaction, Scott smiled to himself. He had a feeling, but he wouldn’t say anything. He knew how badly Stiles had been burned, and he wouldn’t want to get his hopes up for nothing. Scott realized he wasn’t even sure if Stiles wanted his soulmate around. Scott shook his head and started the route back to his home.

Meanwhile, Stiles frantically walked through his house up to the single guest bedroom, not that he had any guests. The room was void of everything, except from a bed and a desk with a single drawer. He walked shakily up to the desk and opened the drawer. Inside were the plans, ideas, and letters he had written to his soulmate years ago. He wasn’t sure why he’d kept them; he wasn’t ever gonna find his soulmate if they weren’t dead already. But he couldn’t will himself to throw them out. It was the only thing keeping him from losing himself completely to his new persona of Void. He wanted to spite the world for as long as he could, and for some reason these letters helped.

Stiles slammed the drawer shut and stormed away.

*

*

  You had acclimated well with everyone here. You quickly became friends with Allison, which in turn had you become friends with Scott as well. They ended up introducing you Lydia, Malia, and Derek as well. You made some of your own friends as well, feeling the happiest you had since before finding out your magical allegiance at 16.

Slowly, you had began to gain more confidence in yourself too, figuring out what you want versus what you didn’t want. You weren’t sure what you wanted out of your life yet, but the happier you became here with your friends, the more you longed for someone to share your life with. You hoped with every new person you met that they would be the one, but every time you were deeply disappointed.

You remember clearly the first day you saw Stiles himself. You had decided to get some ice cream with Scott, Allison, and Lydia, who were all laughing loudly at the fact that you were a virgin after each of them had talked about who was their first.

“Seriously? Not once? Not even drunk?” Lydia asked through her giggles. Scott and Allison were still laughing furiously.

Your blush grew even deeper. “No,” you said firmly.

“I thought you said you had a boyfriend?” Scott asked after finally calming down.

“I did…Adam wanted to as well. ‘For practice’ as he would say, and I know people have that mindset to be good in bed for their soulmate, but I always thought that I was betraying them if I did that. I couldn’t bring myself to do it, even drunk” you finished, more embarrassed than ever. Everyone at home thought that your mindset was stupid, and told you so, but when you looked at your friends, they were smiling, saying how they understood your mindset. You smiled to yourself, wondering how you could ever doubt their intentions.

When you looked up, that’s when you saw him.

He was walking by himself, moving slowly across the street. While his stride and shoulders gave the illusion of confidence to anyone who was merely glancing by, the way his head dipped low and forlorn face gave away his insecurity in himself. Many people waved brightly at him, happy to see him about for the first time. Being polite, he would nod and give a small smile, but nothing more.

You couldn’t help but stare. The way his jeans fit his legs, or his black leather jacket with a black shirt clung to him in all the right ways. You were expecting someone with gusto, someone like Adam who bullied their way around with their strength and loud voice. You weren’t expecting him to be the skinny kid who could barely say hello.

“Who’s that…?” you whispered.

Scott turned his head, his smile instantly fading. “That’s Stiles,” He gave you a knowing look.

“Is he always alone?”

“Sometimes he joins Scott for a walk, or will have dinner with us. He won’t say much though, and Derek will forever boost on how he got him to crack a smile at one of his jokes,” Lydia said, flicking her long hair back and taking a sip of her milkshake. “Scott makes it a point to visit him though and tell him what we’re up to, at least once a week.”

You looked down at your ice cream, feeling your heart break at the fact that he was so scarred from the world that he felt like he had to be alone.

By the time you looked up again, Stiles was gone.

 Stiles had seen you too. Scott had mentioned to him that he was getting ice cream with Allison today and he was feeling up for sitting with his friends, even if they never considered him to be one. However, he wasn’t expected you to be there either. You and Lydia must’ve been invited sometime after Scott’s visit. He stopped in his tracks and stared at you, enthralled in your beauty. All the confidence he had earlier in seeing his friends completely vanished, and he quickly turned his heel and bolted back up to his home. Once there, he slammed the door shut and leaned against it, taking quick breaths to calm his racing heart.

*

*

  Scott had told him plenty about you, and the more Scott talked, the more Stiles wanted to see you for yourself. You had seemed too good to be true. You were smart, funny, kindhearted, not to mention beautiful, and you seemed to get along well with all of his other friends. You had a troubled past like him, but you had seemed to grow from it instead of drowning in it like Stiles had

Scott had also told you about Stiles, with what little he knew. You knew nothing of his past, but you knew he wasn’t the cold-blooded creature that you had learned about in school. He was extremely polite, however little things could set him off sometimes, and he didn’t really speak. You figured he had crawled instead his shell after whatever had happened to him, and you were determined to find the real Stiles, wherever he was.

However, you two seemed to always miss each other.

You would find out that the one time you’d missed dinner with Scott, Allison, Derek, and Lydia, Stiles had shown up. Or you would see him out on the street, but never with enough courage to talk to him. You two haven’t even made eye contact.

He’d done his best to try to meet you, and the other residents in town had started to notice that instead of venturing out of his home a few times a year after Scott’s relentless begging to now going out nearly every single day. He’d even gone as far as holding a small conversation with some of the people who stopped to thank him on the street. Despite his anxiety screaming at him to run and hide away until everyone forgot he was there, he wanted to meet you.

But he couldn’t stop his racing heart every time he saw you, and just as you turned to look in his direction he’d turn away, cursing himself for still being so distrustful of everyone.

He’d made progress, but not enough. The dark thoughts were still there, tormenting his mind that you would turn against him, judge for being a Void, for being the true Void. He also couldn’t help but wonder if he was the one person you would dislike.

Stiles laid awake at night, wondering if he’d ever muster up the courage to talk to you.

*

*

  Adam was disgusted. His parents had just finished telling him about how there were now over 100 safe havens across the globe. Disgusting. How dare they? How dare they even exist? They knew they’re place 20 years ago, until that motherfucker Void drove out his town. He was lucky no one died, else he’d be rotting in jail where he fucking belongs.

The more Adam thought about it, the more he thought somebody should do something about these little “safe havens”. Why hasn’t anybody even fucking tried? More importantly…why hadn’t he tried.

He had followed y/n when she left, followed her straight into the original safe haven. Void’s safe haven, and he watched her get in. He could shape shift easily into someone…no, he could kill one of the guards, take their form, and get in with absolute ease. If was able to kill him, their supposedly savoir, then these little safe havens would disappear. Y/n would come flying back into his arms once he becomes the person that saved the goddamn world from these monsters.

He disguised himself as a little girl, knowing that his magical allegiance would quickly be disguised as she was too little to even have one, and limped up to the gate. Of course, the guard that night took complete pity, which he took advantage of.

He was easily to kill, just a quick snap of his neck and he was on the ground. A painless death for someone who didn’t deserve it.

Quickly taking his form, he slipped through the gates, making up some random excuse as to why he didn’t let her in.

*

*

  Stiles paced around his living room, anxiously biting at his nails. He hadn’t been this fucking nervous in years. He kept glancing at the clock, watching the seconds tick by when the knock came tentatively at the door. Stiles rushed and flew it open in seconds, ushering a very confused Scott into the room.

“Hey, hey dude take it easy!” Scott said, laughing nervously. “What’s the big emergency?”

“How do you know there is one?”

“Well…you’ve never invited me here before,” Scott shifted on his feet and glanced down at the floor.

Shame immediately flooded through Stiles. “Oh…I’m sorry. Really. I guess I haven’t really been a good friend…”

Scott’s eyebrows raised. He hadn’t known that Stiles considered him a friend, and he broke into a huge grin at the thought, relieved that his pestering to go into town wasn’t a total waste. “You haven’t been, you’ve just taken your time getting used to having friends again. I understand.”

A silence fell over them, before Stiles remembered why he had called him in the first place. “Oh um, if you don’t mind, I kind of need a favor…”

“Anything,”

“Well,” Stiles shuffled nervously. He walked over to the counter and picked up the enveloped. Taking a deep breath, he held out to Scott. “I need you to give this to y/n for me. I…don’t know where she lives exactly and every time I go out I seem to miss her…or I psych myself out. I’m hoping this’ll help us get to know each other,” He smiled nervously at Scott, who’s face had spilt into a huge grin.

“Of course, man, I’m happy to do it. I’ll deliver it on my way home. Promise,” Scott said. He turned and made his way to the door before stopping and turning back to Stiles. “Hey man, I’m proud of you for this. This’ll be the first friend you make without me having to introduce you,”

With that, he left Stiles alone. Stiles smiled to himself, feeling something for the first time since he was 16, happiness.

*

*

 You had been at home, enjoying a small glass of wine when Scott came knocking at your door. You had barely even cracked open the door before he came bursting through, exclaiming wildly about the encounter he had just had with Stiles. It took you awhile to calm him down in order for you to understand exactly what he was saying. Scott excitedly handed you the letter Stiles had written for you before running out the door to tell Allison about Stiles’ progress.

With shaky hands, you opened the letter from him. Surprisingly, he had such beautiful handwriting and wrote very eloquently. He apologized dearly for somewhat avoiding you, saying how he wasn’t the confident, charismatic person everyone here saw him as (you already knew that), and that he would love to have you over for dinner tonight so he could get to know you better. Of course, you welcomed to decline for whatever reason.

Tears pricked at your eyes. You were completely honored that Stiles wanted to get to know you. You knew exactly how cautious he was with letting people into life. Of course, you happily accepted his invitation, and began to get ready. You weren’t sure how formal this was supposed to be but decided that a pink skirt that swished down to your knees and a white blouse with matching vans would be good. Stiles would probably be nervous to see you and you didn’t want him to feel overwhelmed if you wore something too nice. It would be a lovely friend date for the two of you.

Feeling as though you were a giddy ten-year-old on the way to a birthday party, you left your home and made the walk up to the Stilinski home.

*

*

 Stiles was once again nervous. He wanted to make sure everything was perfect for dinner tonight. He wasn’t the best cook, and after burning a chicken in the oven, he decided that take out would be a suitable option instead. Well, if you were coming.

He hoped you were, else he’d probably regress back a few steps. He didn’t want to, especially because of how happy Scott seemed when he told him about this. He wanted to do better, to be better.

A rapid knock came at the door. Stiles heart instantly fluttered as he took once last look at the mirror, making sure he looked alright. Taking quick steps, he opened the door-

BAM! The door flew open, knocking Stiles back to the floor, hitting his head hard. Before he could figure out what the fuck was going on, something grabbed his throat, lifted him up, and shoved him against the wall.

“Open your eyes, Void,” a deep voice sneered.

Fuck.

Slowly, he pried his eyes open, seeing an unfamiliar face. Thankfully, since he’d been spending much more time in town, he knows roughly who lives here. This man definitely does not live here.

“Who the fuck are you?” Stiles wheezed, grabbing at the hand around his throat, trying to summon his magic.

“Adam Tameson, and don’t you dare use your power unless you want me to kill people in this town. Do you really want that?” Your face flashed through Stiles’ head, and he stopped any attempt at magic. “Good, and since I’m a good person, I’ll keep my word, even after I kill you. Because I’m good, unlike all you monsters. You Voids.” He spat. “I’ll be hero, killing the famous Stiles Stilinski. I hope you’ve had a good enough life, oh wait, I know you haven’t,” Adam laughed coolly. He grew out his nails until they became sharp claws that dug into his flesh. One of them pierce his skin just barely.

Suddenly, Adam’s smirk disappeared and his skin paled. He began coughing rapidly, blooding pooling into his mouth. Letting go of Stiles’ neck, he sunk to the floor, coughing and wheezing as he gasped for air but nothing came through until eventually the light died in his eyes and his body froze. It took Stiles a couple seconds to realize that he was dead.

Stiles leaned back against the wall, taking deep breaths to recover when he finally looked up to see his savoir. His eyes locked on your form, you stood over his body, panting. You were shaking slightly, him realizing that this was probably the first time you’d killed someone. Stiles knew the feeling, only having killed in self-defense himself. He reached out and grazed his fingers over your arm reassuringly. You eyes snapped up to look into his.

Suddenly, he knew why he had been so attracted to you, and why it was impossible for him to even approach you at first. You both knew. You two were soulmates.

People had told them about the sexual desire you felt when you discovered your soulmate, but he still wasn’t prepared for it. He tried his best to hold back, not wanting to fuck up with you.

That lasted an agonizing 10 seconds.

In an instant, you flew into his arms, kissing him passionately. Your arms wrapped around his neck while he picked you up, legs wrapping around his torso. He turned and pressed your back against the wall. The kiss was rough, teeth and tongues clashing messily together. Your legs were so tightly wrapped around his waist that he was able let one of his hands roam around your body. Grabbing at the top of your shirt, he pulled down harshly, exposing your breasts to him. He grabbed at them roughly, moving his lips down to your neck so he could bite at the sensitive skin, loving the moans that were coming out of you.

He suddenly dropped you, making you stumble slightly on shaky legs. He reached under your skirt and ripped apart your panties, throwing them across the room. You made quick work of the belt on his jeans, unbuckling them and tearing them off. Stiles undid the button on his jeans and pulled them down along with his boxer briefs. His hardened cock bounced up, precum leaking through the slit.

Stiles’ hand sneaked around and grabbed roughly at your ass before wrapping your legs around himself again. He lined himself at your soaked entrance and slammed into you.

“Oh fuck Stiles!” You moaned loudly. He growled at you, sliding out almost completely before slamming back into you. He set a punishing pace, thrusting into you again and again. You leaned your head back into the wall, being thrown into a world of absolute pleasure, you’re eyes rolled back into your head.

“God you’re so fucking tight,” Stiles mumbled into your ear, along with various other obscenities, spurring you on with his filthy words.

The adrenaline from killing Adam, finding your soulmate, and with the way Stiles thrusted up into you hard and fast, the pleasure was building so quickly in your stomach you couldn’t keep up.

“I’m-I’m close” you whimpered.

“Open your eyes,” he commanded, tipping your head forward. You complied, staring into his darkened, lust blown eyes. He lifted his hand, licking the pads of two of his fingers. He slipped his hand under, pressing harshly on your throbbing clit, and you cried out, fire spreading through your veins.

“Cum for me,” he growled in your ear, biting down on your lobe.

Just from his tone, the fire in your stomach broke loose as you came harshly, your core clenching on cock. A few deep thrusts later and he was following suit, his cum shooting up into you, filling you to the brim.

You two stayed like that, your legs wrapped around him, his cock still buried deep within you. Your heartbeats were in sync together, you two enjoying the feeling of being with one another.

Unfortunately, reality came crashing back down. Stiles realized exactly what he’d done: ruined any chance of being able to be your friend. His anxiety took over again, screaming at him for being a fuck-up. He couldn’t have a soulmate; he was a Dark. Void. What kind of life is that for a soulmate?

He dropped you suddenly, and you collapsed on the floor, utterly exhausted. However, you looked at him with worry in your eyes. He ran around, grabbing his belt and re-doing his jeans. He looked at your eyes, and guilt and lust churned in his chest. What the fuck is he supposed to do?

“Stiles…” you whispered.

Then he did the worst possible thing he could’ve done.

He ran.

[misterewrites]

Into the underground!

Hey everyone, E here! Hope you are all staying safe in these really tiring times. Seriously stay safe, wash your hands and wear your masks. It's important to keep everyone safe, not just youself. I hope you all have a great time reading my original work! Have a great week everyone! Remember I’m on Ao3 at MrE42 if you want to have an easier time reading this and want to leave me comments. I love reviews no matter how simple and feedback is always awesome!

Sleep did not come easy to Abigail. Her body was heavy with exhaustion but her mind reeled at the day’s events: Her fall, chasing down Oliver, the discovery of the Underground. All the while her missing parents poked and prodded at her conscience, guilt growing with each memory she played in her mind.

“Abigail? It’s morning.”

Abigail groaned unhappily, the faint sunlight in the distant barely dispelling the darkness.

“Coming.”

Abigail groggily rose from her bed, brushing her messy bedhead with a free hand as she slipped into her hiking boots.

“Okay Abi, smiles.” she murmured to herself. She took one last, long look at the precious photo allowing a smile to grow from her lips “I love you guys. Wish me luck!”

Abigail slipped the photo back into her tunic and slung her pack over her shoulder. She took a deep calming breath, forcing a smile back onto her lips as she made her way downstairs to a red faced Ma and grinning Oliver.

“Oh Ollie, that’s a good one. Mind I take it for a spell?”

Oliver waved off her question “Take it as a gift. Gotta keep convincing everyone you’re a charming old lady.”

Ma snorted “You missed the am part of that sentence.”

“That’s the spirit.” Oliver jokingly patted her shoulder.

“Morning!” Abigail beamed from the top stairs.

“Morning Abigail!” Ma greeted.

Oliver said nothing, instead opting to nod instead. Oliver’s face broke into a flinch as Ma playfully pulled at his ear, giving it a rough but ultimately harmless tug.

“You treat this young lady as if she was family, you hear?”

Oliver tried to pull away “Light teasing and annoyance, got it!”

Ma released her hold and gave Abigail a mischievous wink.

Abigail chuckled “Don’t worry Ma, I can take care of myself!”

“You made that abundantly clear yesterday” Ma acknowledged “But let an old lady have her fun.”

Ma pinched Oliver’s cheeks lovingly “It’s just a joke sonny. Don’t be so uptight.”

Oliver replied with a cheshire grin “I hope you remember that piece of advice in 20 seconds.”

And without a word, the bard made his way towards the door.

Ma blinked uneasily “Should I be concerned?”

“Not sure” Abigail answered “I haven’t known him long enough to tell if that’s a threat or a joke.”

Before the two could carry on with their conversion, Oliver called out in a singsongy voice.

“Ooooooh Ma! You have a visitor.”

Ma and Abigail shared a concerned glance.

“I think you should just get it over with Ma.”

“Easy for you to say dearie, you’re not the one with a surprise outside.”

Abigail placed her arm around Ma, carefully guiding the older woman outside to face whatever had been waiting for her. Ma flushed as Oliver gave a cheeky smirk, gesturing playfully towards a familiar dwarf.

Borrick had brought his A game today: His beard was well trimmed and combed giving the old mercenary an air of regal refinement. His armor, while dented and well worn as usual, was freshly polished and gleamed brightly in the dim sunlight that filled the cavern. Gone was his laxed posture and in its place stood the proud leader of his band of merry mercs.

“Madelyn.” Borrick spoke shyly while he took her hand in his and gently kissed it.

“Copperstone.” Ma nervously replied, her cheeks burning a brighter pink every second.

“Please you’ve known me long enough to know you can call me Borrick.”

Ma opened her mouth but Oliver cut in “Come on Ma, lighten up! Don’t be so uptight.”If looks could kill, Oliver would’ve at the very least been maimed by Ma’s steely death glare.

“Perhaps I came on a bit too strong.” Borrick concluded, letting go of Ma’s hand only for the older woman to snatch back it greedily.

“No” Ma cleared her throat “I’m sorry I hadn’t gotten my morning coffee. I’m just a little…”

“Tired?” Oliver gave an impish grin “Perhaps Mr. Copperstone could cook you some breakfast.”

“I will hit you with a frying pan” Ma murmured under her breath but Borrick seemed to pay it no mind.

“It would be my honor!” Borrick bellowed with a smile.

Ma shook her head hurriedly “Oh I couldn’t impose, you really…”

Borrick squeezed her hand “You do so much for everyone Madelyn. Let someone do something for you.”

“Okay” Ma relented, allowing the dwarf to carefully lead her back into the home, the Swift Slivers cheering loudly at sight of them.

Oliver beamed with a quiet pride, basking in the glow of another successful payback.

Abigail made her way over to Oliver, her face caught between amazement and suspicion “I can’t tell if I should be impressed or concerned.”

“Both” Oliver stretched his arms “Both is good.”

“How’d you know he was outside?”

“You kidding? I heard him coming a block away. Him and a dozen footsteps marching out of tempo isn’t exactly quiet.”

Abigail hadn’t recalled hearing anything before she was forcefully awakened but she hadn’t exactly been paying attention either.

With their leader otherwise occupied, the professional Swift Slivers quickly devolved into a pack of school children: The more childish of the group broke out in playful shoving and joking taunts with the odd wage placed here and there. The more responsible members began going through their packs, writing down and organizing the group’s supply for their long trip to Fort Mercer.

Abigail hadn’t yet spot Archibald in the crowd but the familiar curls of a wizard rushed into her view instead.

Cecilia timidly made her way over to Abigail, her fingers playing with the hem of her robes. Oliver quickly walked away.

“Hello.” Cecilia mumbled quietly.

“Good morning! Is there something I can help you with?”

Cecilia shook her head “No. No. No b-but I thought of something last night that could help you.”

Abigail tilted her head quizzically before realization dawned on her “Oh! Don’t worry about it. I’m sorry for bothering you with such a weird request."

Cecilia shook her head once more “Nothing wrong with going home. It wasn’t too hard to figure out” she added quickly upon seen Abigail’s shocked face “I am a wizard. I’m supposed to be smart. Don’t worry I haven’t told anyone.”

Abigail sighed in relief.

“But” Cecilia carried on “If you’re going to Haven’s Nest, my mentor lives there. Degan Arch. Secretive man who lives in the Clifftops district. If you mention my name, he might be willing to see you. Assuming he hasn’t killed himself with his weird experiments. If he doesn’t have a teleport spell, he’ll at least know someone who might.”

“Really?” Abigail smiled wide and took Cecilia’s hands in her own causing the wizard to flush a bright red “Thank you, thank you so much! Cecilia…..?”

Cecilia stood there frozen, eyes wide in shock and surprise.

Abigail motioned for her to go on.

Cecilia too caught up in the warmth of Abigail’s hand to really understood what she was asking of her.

“Sorry I didn’t catch your last name” Abigail admitted with a twinge of embarrassment.

“Last name?” Cecilia’s eyebrows scrunched in confusion “Oh! My last name. It’s Winter. Cecilia. Cecilia Winter. You can just call me Cecilia.”

“Thank you Cecilia. It means a lot to me.”

Cecilia nodded dumbly.

Abigail let go of the other girl’s hands “I’ll take good care of Archibald.”

Cecilia just kept nodding “Of course. Course. Archibald? Oh! Right. Archibald. Please do. He might be the newest member but he’s family.”

“Promise.”

“Okay bye” Cecilia spoke quickly, turning tail and ducking her head low at the cheering Swift Slivers.

“Well that happened.” Oliver made his way over.

Abigail cheerfully waved good bye at her retreating form “I wonder what was that about.”

Oliver just stared at her in disbelief.

“What?”

Oliver shook his head.

“No seriously what?”

“I’m just amazed at your density.”

“What the heck are you talking about?”

“You are going to cause so many problems, aren’t you?”

Abigail huffed “and you won’t?”

Oliver shook his head “Oh no I totally will but at least I’m aware of the trouble I’m causing. You’re gonna cause panic left and right.”

She tilted her head quizzically “Panic? Why would I cause panic?”

Oliver sighed tiredly “You know what? Forget it. Let’s just find Archibald and get on with it.”

Abigail was confused but decided to let it go: She was going to to spend the next day and half with this bard, best to keep it as civilized as her patience would allow.

Oliver glanced about looking for their third party member but Abigail caught him linger on the road to the cemetery for a moment.

“Did you want to check on your boss?”

“No. He’s fine and the competition is in a few days. We need to get a move on if I want to get there in time for sign ups.”

Oliver’s tone was neutral but Abigail sensed a fearful edge to it. Whatever lie he was trying to sell himself, he clearly wasn’t buying it.

“And you” Oliver spoke suddenly, whirling around quickly and pointing an accusatory finger at Archibald “Shouldn’t sneak up on people.”

Archibald rose his hands up defensively.

“Leave him alone” Abigail quickly jumped in “It’s not his fault we weren’t paying attention”

Oliver remained silent.

Archibald dressed for combat and/or travel: He wore a thick vest of leather with the same sliverish hue as his fellow mercenaries. A black riding cloak slung over his frame with his bow on one shoulder and his quiver of arrows on the others. He wore black leather pants with a shortsword at his side and well worn hiking boots.

“Looking sharp” Abigail beamed cheerfully.

Archibald nervously smiled.A silence fell over the trio.

“So” Abigail spoke up “Shall we go?”

Archibald rose a curious eyebrow as he questioningly gestured to his riding cloak.

“Umm….nice cloak?” Abigail spoke, unsure what Archibald was getting at.

“He’s asking if you have a cloak, it gets pretty cold in the second layer tunnels.” Oliver filled in.

“What? No! Of course not! How would I even have one? And you’re just messing with me.” Abigail scoffed “Do you even….?”

Abigail’s words died in her throat as Oliver pulled out a rather thick elegant though worn cape from his back, slinging it around his body with a smugness only a bard could muster.

“I hate you.”

So much for being civilized.

Archibald rolled his eyes. He dug into his travel pack, pulling out his backup cloak and held it out for Abigail to take.

“I can’t believe you Oliver. You knew I needed a cloak and you weren’t going to tell me!”

Any second now.

Oliver waved her off “You’re a big girl. You should know caves get colder as you go deeper.”

Yep, any moment.

“How?!” Abigail screeched “I’ve never been in a cave before!”

Archibald’s eyes darted back and forth between the arguing pair, unsure if he should cut in or just keep politely holding out the increasingly heavy cloak.

“Abigail.”

Abigail snapped out of her anger tinged rant to see Cecilia gesturing behind her. Confused, Abigail turned around to find Archibald holding out a second cloak, beads of sweat forming his brow.

“Oh! Sorry Archibald!” Abigail scrambled, nearly tripping over herself as she took the piece of clothing from the mercenary “Thank you. It’s nice to know one of you is a gentleman.”

“I never said I was.”

“Can I pay you to kill him?” Abigail murmured darkly towards the archer.

Archibald stroke his chin thoughtfully before rubbing his finger and thumb together.

“Assassination is an option?”

Archibald rocked his hand back and forth.

“Better than a no.” Abigail eyed Oliver menacingly.

“Please you’re not going to assassinate me. You don’t have the money.”

“Yet.”

Archibald chuckled to himself as he gestured for them to get a move on.

The trio made their way through the tiny village, the normalcy of people out and about living their lives under the warm glow of the sun made Abigail’s heart ache with familiarity.

They fell into an awkward quiet, necessity guiding their feet towards the road out of town.

It was strange to be part of a group so disconnected. Normally when Abigail traveled, it was with her parents to the town or perhaps to further off markets. Occasionally they would hire the odd bodyguard or catch a ride with the kingdom’s soldiers when bandits acted up on the main roads but there was always someone she knew close at hand.

But this group held no such intimacy. Each traveled for their own personal agenda: An infuriating bard seeking to compete, an aloof though kind mercenary here for a job and her, a farm girl trying to get back home.

Abigail could hear the uneven steps of the Swift Slivers behind them, their idle chatter and jokes thundering in her ear.

She wanted to ask Archibald if there was any particular reason his band was following them to the edge of town but his eyes were so fixated on the road, she felt rude breaking his concentration.

Abigail flinched as Oliver nudge her side “What??”

Oliver pointed forward “There it is. The stony rock road to Haven’s Nest.”

The word road was far too generous: It was more of a massive hole in the ground, wide enough to easily fit the Swift Slivers if they decided to march side by side. The path was uneven, sloping downward into a thick dark void with only the dimmest light in the distance. Even from here, Abigail could feel the icy air chill her bones despite the glow of the sun at her back.

“I can see why you need the cloaks” Abigail chuckled nervously, bundling herself as much as she could in her cloak.

Archibald nodded in agreement, Oliver rolled his eyes.

“Archie!” A voice boomed from behind the trio.

Archibald sighed, unable to keep the embarrassment out of his cheeks as his fellow mercenaries quickly enveloped him a sea of tight hugs and back pats.

Abigail smiled at the group’s affection: some wished him luck, others reminded him to be careful, one or two even teased him about not running off with a girl once he reached Haven’s Nest. Archibald’s ears were a bright pink but Abigail found it sweet that this group cared so much for their fellow members.

Cecilia was the last to approach, her shy steps replaced with determination.

“No dying on me.” She warned, wagging her finger threateningly as if he was a younger sibling who needed reminding not to cause trouble.

Archibald placed one hand over his heart while holding the other up like he was making a pledge.

“Good. You’re one of the few people I can stand.”

“WE HEARD THAT!” a voice called from the mass.

Cecilia flipped them off in response.

“Was not expecting that.” Abigail murmured to herself “She was so shy and flustered easily.”

“I suspect you have that effect on people.” Oliver replied, checking his nails for nonexistent dirt.

“Wha?”

“Denser than steel.”

Archibald rose an eyebrow questioningly.

Cecilia nodded in agreement. Abigail stared in awe as Cecilia rose her hand in a strange gesture towards her fellow Swift Sliver. Arcane runes appeared from thin air, pink symbols hanging midair for a moment as Cecilia chanted in some unknown language. The symbols vanished but that was it.

“Was that a spell?” Abigail asked.

“Obviously.” Oliver grunted.

“What did it do?”

“Why don’t you ask her?”

“Good idea!”

Oliver facepalmed as Abigail made her way over to the pair.

Archibald shook Cecilia’s hand in thanks and pulled away just in time for Abigail to sandwich between them.

“Abigail! Hi! Hi.” Cecilia flushed a bright red as she took a step back, nearly tripping over herself in surprise.

Archibald snickered into his sleeve as Abigail beamed cheerfully “Cecilia! Hi! Question? What spell did you just use?”

“Spell? Spell! Right because I’m a wizard. That’s my job. Spells. Pew pew.”

Cecilia could feel the blood pool in her face as Archibald rose an eyebrow quizzically behind the farm girl.

“It’s Mage Armor.” Cecilia explained, twiddling her fingers nervously.

“Mage Armor? That’s so cool!” Abigail couldn’t keep the excitement out of her voice.

“It’s a simple spell. Not that impressive.” Cecilia muttered quietly.

“Not impressive? That’s amazing!”

Abigail turned around and quickly leaned forward towards Archibald.

Archibald’s ears turned a bright pink again as Abigail eyed him carefully. Cecilia mouthed mockingly “Not so easy, is it?”

Abigail was oblivious to all this, too fixated on discovering any sign of the magical spell. At first it appeared nothing had changed with Archibald but a moment later, she caught it: A translucent layer superimposed ontop of his body almost like a second skin that gleamed under the sunlight.

Abigail cheered “I see it!”

Cecilia coughed “Y-yeah. It’s pretty basic so it’s not impenetrable but will help with the odd knick or blade.”

“Hey Cecilia, can you put it on me?”

Cecilia blinked, unsure if she heard correctly “You?”

Abigail nodded eagerly.

“S-sure.” Cecilia coughed “We shouldn’t run into too much trouble. I think I spare an extra spell.”

“You can’t just do this at will?” Abigail asked curiously.

Cecilia gestured with her hand, the arcane symbols appearing once again “Yes and no. There’s some basic spells are effortless that I could do forever and a half but this? I’m tugging and moving the weave itself. Reality isn’t a fan of being altered and I only have so much magical strength to pull at the weave.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about” Abigail cutely admitted.

“Yeah that’s normal.” Cecilia answered before chanting in the strange unknown language as before. The symbols vanished as a warm sensation filled Abigail’s body, traveling from the top of her head to her toes. She glanced at her hands and squealed at the sight of the translucent barrier over her hands.

Abigail’s grin broke into a smile “Thanks Cecilia!”

Cecilia’s blush worsen. “No problem. Just remember this wears off in 8 hours so try to get as much distance in as you can.”

“Will do! Ready Archibald?”

Archibald nodded, motioning for Abigail to go ahead. As Abigail happily skipped ahead, Archibald snickered openly at the wizard.

Cecilia glared “Shut up. You’re the one going to be stuck with her for the next day.”

Archibald coughed into his cloak and hurriedly made his way after Abigail.

“We done here?” Oliver asked.

“We’re done here.” Abigail answered, turning to face the road.

Oliver and Archibald took their first steps without hesitation, descending deeper into the inky thick darkness.

“For my family” Abigail whispered to herself, taking a deep calming breath and plunging herself deeper into the underground.

[wonderlandleighleigh]

TimKon or anything from the Tuna Melt-verse, which is fantastic, by the way.

Thank you!!! Here’s some unfinished Tuna Melt Fic. Maybe one day it’ll get done. It’s called “His Day in Court.” The Joker origin referenced is lifted from Batman: Streets of Gotham.

“Mister President.” 

Bartlet looks up from his desk and grins, before getting to his feet slowly. “Judge Walters.” 

As they shake hands, Jed marvels, not for the first time, at just how tall, and just how green Jennifer Walters is. She’s a beautiful woman. 

She’s just…

Well, she’s She-Hulk.

Well, she used to be She-Hulk.

Now she’s a United States federal judge.

Like Mendoza, getting Jenn appointed as a federal judge had been a nightmare. She’s green, she’s huge.

She’s hardcore leftwing.

“Please, have a seat,” he offers, gesturing towards the couches and chairs. 

Jenn nods, and does, settling into one of the chairs carefully,  always hyper-aware of her own body and its impact on the world around her. 

“I assume you know why I’ve asked you here,” he says, settling onto the couch next to her, clasping his hands in his lap. 

“I have a pretty good idea,” Jenn smirks, leaning back a little. “The Joker case?” 

Bartlet nods. “The Joker case. The prosecution is putting everything together, and I’ve been informed you’ve been chosen to preside.” 

Jenn doesn’t say anything for a long moment, watching the president carefully before speaking up. “Permission to speak my mind?” 

“Of course.” 

“This whole trial is bullshit,” she says. 

“It’s the law.” 

“It’s bull. Look, I believe in our justice system when it works the way it’s supposed to, but jesus, this isn’t a case of innocent until proven guilty, this is a case of the defendant boasting in a public forum about the very fact that he is guilty. He’s killed thousands of people. He’s maimed and mentally and emotionally scarred more. Why put the survivors and the families of the dead through this? And how the hell are we supposed to choose a grand jury? An enormous percentage of people in this country, and just about everybody on the East Coast has been affected, in some way, shape or form by the Joker.” 

“So you think we throw United States law out the window and just kill him?” Jed asks, lifting his eyebrows. “You don’t think that might look bad to the rest of the country? That they’ll start pointing fingers at whoever the hell, and asking why those people haven’t been offed too?” 

“I think the Joker is different,” Jenn says. “I think he’s this country’s modern day boogieman, and I don’t think he deserves a traditional trial. And anyways, it’s not out of the question that the Joker could die...other ways.” 

“Jennifer.” 

“Don’t you have the Red Hood on speed dial?” she asks, lifting an eyebrow. “Didn’t I hear that somewhere?” 

“Like that kid hasn’t been through enough,” Jed grumbles. “The last time somebody tried to take out the Joker because they thought it was the right thing, it ended in an office full of dead FBI agents and an attack on this White House. We do this the right way.” 

“The right way would have been lethal injection at Arkham twenty years ago,” she tells him. “Everything beyond that is just us cleaning up decades-old messes.”  

“Jennifer, are you saying we should find a different judge to preside over this case?” Jed asks, looking at her seriously. “Because what you’re telling me is that you cannot possibly be fair-” 

“I’m telling you there is no fair,” she interrupts him. “Mister President, the Joker has eschewed legal council. He’s defending himself, which means he will run around my courtroom like the damn lunatic he is before he gets bored and attempts to massacre everyone in it.” 

Bartlet closes his eyes and takes a breath before opening them again. “Jenn, all we can do is prepare for the worst. But we don’t have any other choice.” 

***** 

“It starts tomorrow, you know.” 

“Hm?” 

“The Joker trial,” Danny clarifies. 

Maggie nods as she steps past him and back into her cube. “And you’re pissed.” 

“A little.” 

“Because you’re not the one writing about it,” Maggie goes on. “Because there’s no way to be impartial when you thought he was gonna kill you.” 

“There’s not an impartial journalist in the world when it comes to this maniac,” Danny points out.

Maggie sits and looks up at him. “You can still go to the trial you know. Take a few days off. Head up to New York. You could even write an independent piece and farm it out to the Atlantic or whatever.” 

Danny shakes his head. “Not worth feeling that angry. How are you doing with all of this?” 

“I...have to be fine,” she says, blowing out a breath. “So I’m fine.” 

 “What are you working on? Anything good?” 

“Well…” 

He frowns, tilting his head. “What?” 

“I...it’s just...how does somebody like the Joker, become the Joker?” Maggie asks. “What drives a person so far over off the deep end that they become...that?” 

“Does it matter?” 

“Doesn’t it?” 

“So you’re looking into who the Joker really is,” Danny surmises. 

“I have some leads,” she admits. “The problem is that he’s killed so many people, it’s hard to figure out what was personal and what was just...his version of a good time.” 

“But you’ve got a hunch.” 

Maggie nods, looking troubled. “I have a hunch.” 

“Well?” 

She blows out a breath. “About five years ago, Joker cornered an aging Mob Boss named Guzzo.” 

“That guy was no joke,” Danny comments, pulling up a chair and taking a seat. “My mentor did a write-up about him back in the day. The stuff he did was almost as bad as the Joker. This was a few years ago, right?” 

“Right. So...Joker corners him on amusement mile and sics a pack of hungry hyenas on the guy,” Maggie says. “All that’s left are a few teeth, which is how they identified him. What’s confusing is that if you look at the interviews done of the for-hire goons back then, Joker and Guzzo didn’t know each other. And if you look at the way the city was split up before Guzzo died, Joker’s usual territory was as far away from Guzzo’s as he could get.” 

“Like he might have been avoiding the guy.” 

“Maybe…” 

“You think there’s a connection?” Danny asks. “Joker kills Guzzo for revenge?”  

“I think Guzzo hurt a lot of people over multiple decades,” Maggie tells him. “What if one of the people he hurt was Joker, before he was Joker?” 

“So you think Joker’s got a sob story.” 

“I think he was once something resembling a person,” Maggie corrects him. “And if you wanna take down a monster, you show the world its weak spots.” 

***** 

“Maybe you should come home for a few days.” 

Jason closes his eyes as he listens to his older brother over the phone. 

“All anybody is gonna be talking about down there is the trial,” Dick goes on. “Or hey! We could take a roadtrip! Load up the car with snacks and sodas and get outta town for a while.” 

“Dick.” 

“I don’t want you to be alone,” Dick admits. 

“I’m not.” 

“Fine. I don’t want you to be so far away from me that I can’t be there for you,” Dick adds. “And neither does Bruce.” 

“Is he testifying?” Jason asks. 

“Yeah,” Dicik confirms. “He’s showing up in full bat-gear and he’s testifying.” 

“That’s nuts,” Jason points out. “This whole -” 

“I know.” 

“Fucking - why can’t I just kill him?” 

“Because it won’t help you,” Dick says sadly. “Little Wing, just because the monster is gone, doesn’t mean the nightmare never happened.” 

Jason goes quiet. “I wanna go to the trial.” 

“Jay-” 

“I wanna go. At least to the first one.” 

Dick sighs sadly. “The last thing I want is for this to be the thing that breaks you. You’ve been doing so well...the job, and the girlfriend...you looked so happy at that wedding we all went to. What if going to that trial just sets you back.” 

“What if he hurts somebody?” Jason asks. “What if he takes down an entire courthouse full of people?” 

“Then it won’t be your fault,” Dick says gently. 

“One of us should be there every day of that trial,” Jason argues. 

“Maybe. But it shouldn’t be you.” 

“The hell it shouldn’t!” 

“Jay,” Dick says firmly, but worriedly. “Look, with what he did to Babs...I have a good excuse to be at the trial every day. I’ll go. I promise. But you need to stay home.” 

“You don’t get to-” 

“Jay.” 

Jason goes silent, and Dick can hear deep, heavy breaths. 

“I’ll be there every day,” he says. “I promise you, Little Wing. I’ll go every day. Whatever happens, I’ll be there to help stop it.” 

***** 

“You’ve reached the office of Jason Todd, Wayne Technologies Liaison to the White House. I will be out of the office until the end of the month. You can reach my fill-in, Luke Fox at the following number…” 

***** 

“He took the entire month off?” Leo asks, staring at Luke Fox, utterly bewildered. 

“He did,” Luke nods. 

“To do what?” Leo snaps. 

“Not go crazy,” Luke says simply. “This Joker thing has him fifty shades of fucked up, Leo.” 

“The DoD hate you more than they hate him,” Leo points out, relaxing a little. 

Luke chuckles and shrugs. “I know it freaks those old farts  out to have to deal with a black man who is younger, smarter and more attractive. That’s what makes it fun for me.” 

Leo sighs but grins wryly. “It’s gonna be a helluva month.” 

“Oh it definitely is,” Luke smirks back. “You want lunch? My treat?” 

"It’s hard to say no to that.” 

[koganphrancis]

WE ARE FINALLY, TRULY CAMLESS!

Season 9 Episode 6 Recap

First and foremost, I want to single out Noel Fisher for being a truly class act and returning to this demon show to give fans what happiness he could-the ONLY happiness a lot of fans have found here, myself included, in a very long time.

Next a serious piece of appreciation to Cameron Monaghan.  I know he worked hard on what little they gave him to do in the past few years, and I’m thankful he had Gotham to work on to actually use his talent while mired down in the stinky swamp this show has become.  In another actor’s hands, I don’t know that Gallavich would’ve been as captivating as it was-without Noel I know it wouldn’t have been, but Cam does deserve credit for bringing the other half of the couple to life-when they were on screen together, they had an undeniable magic happening.

Finally to any of the “fans” that are thinking or posting that we got this actually pretty shitty prison endgame because people pestered the show producers, writers, and actors too much to “bring Mickey back” may I please direct you to watch the early episode (I believe it was in Season 1, but certainly no later than S2) where Lip tells Ian prison must be a gay man’s dream with all the tattoos and unlimited sex partners.  THAT is John Wells’ perception of gay men and it has been since long before he even thought of breaking Ian and Mickey up, let alone bringing Mickey back.  

Personally I’m supremely disappointed this gay couple, like so many others, did not get a free and truly happy ending in canon, even though my friends know I predicted this could very well be all we got in the end.  FFS it’s the year twenty gayteen-couldn’t ONE iconic gay couple be given a nice, normal happy ending?  John Wells is a fucking dinosaur.  He needs to go to a sensitivity training camp run by Dan Levy, Emily Andras, and Ryan Murphy.  

Anyway-my last recap (baring a miracle) of this shit show is under the cut

(screen cap credit: justmikhailothings)

This episode was brought to us by White Castle.  I’d like to think they gave every dime they got from them to pay Noel, but I’m sure it went to the other “big name” guest stars.

Also the show was (disappointingly) written by Nancy “Ratfucker” Pimental, so you know it’s gonna be bad.

The show begins with Ian putting his stuff away up in the attic and claiming he wants to eat a shitload of White Castle.  Sure, whatever.  Everyone is trying to offer ideas of what they should all do on his last day of freedom, but suddenly THIS Ian is talking and making decisions for himself.  WHERE HAS HE BEEN THE PAST 4 SEASONS?  He only appears when Mickey’s about...

Debbie offers to bring him to a gay bar to “get laid” (flashing back to Monica in S3, ugh-it was a bad idea then, it’s a bad idea now), Ian says, “Pretty sure I’ll get laid a lot in prison.”  He says it with a grim expression, but considering how they end the show/who his cellmate is, he should be so lucky.  

Frank pretty much ignores Ian in the scene, and they certainly don’t interact.  Frank recommends Ian should read James Joyce’s Ulysses in prison, but other than the fact that it’s by an Irish writer and it’s extremely long and dense to get through (aka it’ll take Ian some time to do it), I don’t know if there’s any significance to his suggesting it.  

This scene with just a throwaway send off from Macy seems to be in line with John Wells’ vision to have the series fade away with the characters going about their daily lives rather than end, but I really think both Cam and WHM were screwed out of not having a final scene together with just the two of them.  Their comedy timing was always the best out of Macy and all the Gallagher kids.  The lack of respect is just astounding-especially since the show wasted so much time on rando actors/characters we’re never going to see again.

The rest of Frank’s story this week takes place with Liam in tow again and it’s just dumb and boring.

The next scene shows Fiona and Bored looking at an apartment-they’re going to move in together (why?  And when was this decided?  Not that I care, but they could’ve cut a scene of them bickering to show a scene where they arrived at a decision together for once).  It makes absolutely no sense-they have Fiona’s whole place to themselves, why waste $3000 a month living in some other apartment all to themselves?  Just because it has two bathrooms?  Do they shit that much?

And then, ooh, bad news for Fiona-her business partners require her to kick in another 25 grand or their investment will be dead in the water.  I still don’t know how she went from having $50K to invest to $100K, so this new twist is just more bullshit that I can’t care about.  

Then there’s a scene where we have to see Carl’s new girlfriend’s head in Ian’s lap.  WTF.  We need to see Mickey’s head there-or better yet, Ian using Mickey’s perfect thighs as a pillow.  

There’s a couple of boring, unfunny bits of the nun and then the priest (is it supposed to be hilarious that the dad from Full House is spewing out sex scenario names Nancy must’ve googled?) from Kev and Vee’s kids’ preschool with a dildo.  Seriously, Nance, not even close to funny, probably time to put yourself out to pasture, old girl.  This show has used dildos as a sight gag so many times at this point there’s just nothing more to do with them except maybe shove them up the writers’ asses.

Lip’s storyline this week is something out of very, very bad fan fiction: A movie star comes to their house!  Cuz, that happens, okay?  I’m sure studios and billion dollar make up companies don’t run any kind of background check on people they hire to babysit their clients-why would they?  It’s not like a crazed fan would rape/maim/kill the object of their obsession or anything.  ANYONE can be a star minder for one day, surely.  

BORING ALERT: Lip has a couple more running scenes this week, because no one got enough of that last episode.  This week the least they could’ve done was play the Friends theme song over the endless footage where he’s chasing Courtney Cox around on location in Chicago.  

While watching, I was wondering if Courtney’s role was written for her or they just settled for her when Roseanne Barr was suddenly unavailable-the stuff they had her say and do (except for the sprinting) seemed like it was written for a more jaded motherly type-but I’m jumping ahead.  Since we DID get CC, here’s a couple of stray observations.  1. She looks like a rich man’s Emmy Rossum, and 2. was part of the purpose of her storyline to throw shade at Jennifer Aniston?  Her character is named Jen Wagner, and there’s this whole dumb thing where Nancy’s trying to make, “Face it, you’re gorgeous” happen as her make up commercials’ tag line-which was reminiscent of Aniston’s ads for L’Oreal that stated “I’m/you’re worth it”.  

Meanwhile, after Fi gets the devastating news that she needs to come up with more money she tries to get out of taking the new apartment with Bored by lying to him and telling him she smelled mold there-HE RESTORES OLD HOUSES/BUILDINGS FOR A LIVING why does Nancy think that was a clever lie for Fiona to come up with?  How stupid is Fi supposed to be?

Back at the Gallaghers, Ian is practicing self defense moves with Carl and Kelly to prevent someone from raping him at knife point.  Everyone’s flipping each other in these scenes and it just felt like they wanted to give their stunt coordinator (and Cam’s double) a lot of (boring) shit to do this week...Ian’s final scenes being played out with this meaningless newbie (who Carl will probably wind up killing or dumping or both) made me very sad.  I guess maybe it was to build dramatic tension for when Ian’s in his cell later and the door slides open before he turns around.  But it’s lame because the scenes play like he’s JUST realizing prison’s rapey.  

Someone knocks at the door-my heart started racing but it wasn’t Mickey.  A guy who wasn’t in the jail scenes tells Ian Joselito sent him.  Ian starts asking him about the guys he was in county lock up with-WHO CARES.  The guy tells him the couple he’s asking about broke up when one of them got out and Nancy throws in a line about long distance relationships not working.  Joselito sent this Antonio guy to give Ian an “in-depth safety orientation about Beckman Correctional” before they send him up.   

Antonio draws Ian a map of the facility and tells him the areas to avoid, then draws a big circle with Mickey Mouse ears on it and tells him that’s “Disneyland” and he can get all good things there-smooth blowies, weed, Snickers...I’m sure ol’ Nancy thought she was being clever, but it just took me out of the scene hearing Antonio say “Disney” at least three times-reminded me of Cam’s publicity stunt “coming out date” there last year.  

Fi comes in and asks if anyone has any money (shades of S4 when Ian gave her his Fairy Tail tips) and that she needs 25 grand.  She’s so stupid.  And she’s honestly that out of touch with the family that she thinks maybe one of them has thousands of dollars they could give her?  (although, if she had only gotten to Lip before he tried to buy Xan...)

Fiona tells Ian, “Don’t forget, I’m driving you to prison tomorrow.”  And that’s the last time they see each other.  So much for family, eh, Nance?

A huge time waster of a scene where Kev and Vee pack up all their sex toys and then another drawn out scene of them throwing the stuff off a bridge happen.  Seriously, these are Cameron’s final moments on this shit show-they couldn’t think of anything for him to do?  This was all screen time Cam and Noel could have had, SHOULD have had!

I have to recap this next bit because it was beyond belief unrealistic-Frank steals a bicycle and goes following Katey Sagal and her ex-husband when they leave the hospital in an Audi-and Frank manages to keep up with them all the way to their nice neighborhood that must be some distance away since it was daylight when they left and dark when they get to their door.  Frank.  On a bicycle.  Kept up.  YOU’RE SUCH A DUMB FUCK, NANCY.

Then there’s more White Castle with the money shot of the food and packaging all over the Gallagher kitchen table.  Courtney gets to make a bulimia joke Nancy wrote into the scene.  Hope you weren’t looking for a Guest Starring Emmy, CC.  

Ian tells a “Carl story” about him puncturing his scrotum (on purpose) with a screwdriver when he was a kid.  Carl must have the most mangled dick and scrotum on the planet between his several botched circumcisions and now this.  Kelly asks him if that’s why he has “that scar”.  You know what, Nance?  While some people do in fact find scars sexy, self inflicted ones on scrotums don’t make that list.  

Debbie comes in, recognizes “the chick from the make up ads” having dinner with them.  I’m sorry-having WHITE CASTLE with them.  Now everyone else sees it too, and Kelly insists that CC says “the” line that Nancy made up to make happen-why do they keep trying to make meaningless things A Thing?  

After dinner, Jen is giving Ian advice about prison: “Find a hobby, it makes time go so much faster.”  Ian asks, “Did you learn that from one of your movies?” and she says she did 48 hours for DUI (hey, just like Ethan, Nancy!).  Jen really needed to get into making TP paper mache to get through 2 days?  

Debbie, desperate to make shit about her says, “Maybe I should go to prison too.  It seems like the only way I’ll find a real relationship.”  WHY are they acting like Ian’s going away on a single’s cruise?

Jen says to Debs that’s not true and Debbie says it is, that she’s unlucky in love (when the fuck has she ever been “in love”?)...”men, women...”  

Jen tells her she’s a special woman (how the fuck does she know?) and that she doesn’t want just anyone, she wants somebody “who gets you” and then for the second time in two weeks an older woman, without determining if Debbie is of age, pulls her into a kiss and the others (Ian, Lip, Carl, Kelly) stare like, “WTF?”  The kiss ends and Debbie looks all amazed like she did after the Mel kiss, but then Jen looks at everyone and says, “I played a lesbian once in a movie.”  And that’s what your research into that role led you to believe lesbians do?  Kiss random teens when they’re whining?  Lip starts the “Face it” line and everyone else chips in with “you’re gorgeous” and everyone laughs and I don’t get why it’s funny or even why it’s supposed to be funny.  Seemed like they were trying to drive home the point that ACTORS only PLAY gay characters, but no matter how convincing they seem, they are in reality the much more “preferable” heterosexuals we can feel safe with and really want them to be.  Fuck you, Shameless.

Also, Courtney/Jen is three times older than Debbie-CC is 54 irl and Debs is forever 17 now, so more Kash vibes for anyone who was missing those.  Also perpetuates the writer room’s fantasy that hot young actors would find middle and past middle age folks suitable sex partners.

Fi goes to Patsy’s Pies and there’s another hysterically lame scene where she opens the office safe and is counting out money-I don’t know how much a place like Patsy’s rakes in (or keeps in their safe) but I would think it would take a long time to accumulate 25K in CASH in this day and age of debit and credit cards.  She abandons that bad idea and winds up going down to the docks and drinking with a Patsy’s employee and reciting all her “mo money” problems while he counters with the facts that his car’s been repossessed and that he and his moms are being evicted from the projects.  Then the guy kisses drunk Fi but she tells him she has a boyfriend and that she has to apologize for lying to him (although, really, the underlying implication is she has to apologizing for never seeing that he’s always right about her being a dumb woman who has no head for business decisions).  

Lip and Ian have their last one on one scene.  After the movie star mom for a day leaves, Ian’s fake smoking on the front steps and Lip joins him.  Lip gives him money for his commissary account and Ian says, “I’ll pay you back,” (but not thank you) and Lip says, “No you won’t,” and I’m at home saying, “Lip, why are you being such a dick?”  Ian goes to hand him the lit cigarette, but pulls it away when Lip reaches for it, but then gives it to him and rubs his shoulder.  I guess this is supposed to signal to us that they’ve said everything that’s needed to be said?  Except we’ve been watching and we know Lip is supposed to be a mouthy motherfucker and in the old days they would’ve had actual conversations that they DID NOT have at all-all their conversations this season have been short and awkward.  Ian’s been made into a fucking mute now, even in these final moments.

Their last scene should’ve been in their room, in their beds-Ian can’t sleep and they talk things out in the dark like the brothers they used to be, but no.  Can’t have that.  

The Fiona drama finding out Bored has a wife, kid, and house and then drunkenly smashing up her leased vehicle is so “bad soap opera” I can’t believe this show is still on the air.  If we were supposed to cry for Fiona as her make up  and fake blood ran down her face after her millionth time of being let down by a guy everyone else could see was an ass from the start-well, we just didn’t.  

Next day the Gallaghers are waiting in the living room for Fiona to take Ian to prison.  Kev steps up to drive them all in his truck.

They get there, get out, and Ian looks around, then says to his family, “All right.  I thought Geneva and some of the others would be here but...”  Thank christ they weren’t!!!  The show/Ian wasted too much time on those randos as it was.  However, credit where credit is due-the show got us all the way through this swan song arc without bringing up Terror once!  But I digress, back to our scene.  Carl says, “You can only count on family, dude.”  I scream BULLSHIT at my TV screen.  

Debbie says, “I’m gonna miss you.” 

Group hug.  Kev says, “Don’t get too raped in there, aight?”  Everybody breaks apart, the moment ruined.  Kev says he doesn’t know what to say in these situations (and clearly no one can improvise but Noel).  Vee says, “How about goodbye and I love you?”  

Kev says, “Goodbye, man. I love you.”  

Ian says, “I love you guys too.”  Wasting it on the wrong fucking people!  All of them-except Kev and Vee who never voiced an opinion-didn’t care if went to prison!  

Ian looks at Lip, walks over to him.  “Hey, uh, thanks for being my brother.”

Lip, still a dick, says, “Never had a choice.”  That’s right, bitch-you didn’t get to choose to play the interesting gay brother, you got cast as the dick know-it-all who never cared about anyone but himself.  

During this entire farewell scene I was sitting at home, strangely unmoved.  I felt nothing watching it, probably because everyone was such an asshole about Ian going to prison all season, plus never caring about what he was doing all last season, plus the fact that none of these characters are the characters we first got to know.  It hasn’t been a case of character growth and development, it’s been character assassination and retconning.  

Ian breaks the hug.  “All right.  See you guys.”  He goes to the gate, shows his papers, gets let in through the gate, waves to his family as he walks past the fence, walks into the prison, slaps his phone (wouldn’t he just give that to Lip to hold on to?  Battery’s gonna be dead by the time he gets out) and watch (probably ditto on the watch battery) onto a counter, strips down so we see one last quick shot of his naked ass (what, no cavity search?  And just how long has it been since we’ve seen his unclothed ass anyway?), and a glimpse of the boob tattoo.  

Next we see him in his yellow “I Love You, Philip Morris” jumpsuit, carrying his bedding through the GP.  He’s attracting “fresh meat” attention and Cam actually does a really good job of looking a bit scared while trying to look tough and “don’t fuck with me”-there’s a vulnerability there, but he’s not overplaying it, and he’s certainly not overplaying the fronting.  His acting was really powerful in that scene.  

They put him in his cell and slam the door and he winces a little at the sound, then he sadly looks at his 6X8 foot (or whatever the dimensions are) room, puts his bedding pile on the top bunk and leaves his hands up there and lets his head hang down.  He hears the door slide open behind him again and gets this, “Ugh, here we go,” expression on his face and turns around to see it’s Mickey standing there.

Me at home: Not what I wanted for end game but I’m still thrilled to see the man, the myth, the legend again anyway.  He’s all beefy still from when he was shooting Fonzo and looking good.  

Ian’s looking at him like he’s not sure he’s really there.

Mickey mildly says, “I rolled on the cartel I was working for and in exchange guess who gets to pick where he gets locked up?”  

Ian’s got tears in his eyes now and says, “Holy fuck.”

“Oh hey-I got bottom,” Mickey says as he points to the lower bunk.  Then he walks past Ian and says, “So...you’re on top,” in a bit of a sing-songy voice. 

He flops down onto the bunk, puts his hand behind his head-and check out the gifs closely, especially on Twitter-in the jumpsuit you can see the outline of his dick and it “twitches in interest” as the fan fics say (don’t know if Noel did it by adjusting his thigh, don’t know if it was intentional or what-but it was a sight to see whatever the case).  He does a lip lick/bite combination, Ian’s face lights up a bit and he gives a smile, he crawls onto the bunk on top of Mickey, pinning his hand down while Mickey smiles softly, they gaze at each other a beat, Ian gently strokes Mickey’s cheek, Mickey wraps his free hand behind Ian’s neck, their noses boop, and Ian sort of gently thrusts into a kiss (it was good-definitely had a bit of a sexual vibe to it), which Mickey expertly returns.  It was a very good kiss, tender and loving, but that scene needed words, needed Ian to say SOMETHING to Mickey-needed an “I’m sorry” and a “thank you for always being here for me” and exchanged I love yous.  Neither of these boys are ever told they’re loved!  JFC, nine seasons and the show couldn’t manage to work mutual ILYs in ONCE?  Fuck you, Shameless.  They didn’t even say each other’s NAMES!  

Mickey (and Noel) looked so fucking good lying there-relaxed and happy, finally back with his love where he’s always belonged.  Even when his eyes are closed, they’re perfect.  The angle the scene was shot at, we see more of Mickey’s microexpressions than Ian’s.  

An after the credits began scene of them lying in an afterglow embrace would’ve been nice.  Mickey could’ve mocked Ian’s hair (give us one last “Fire Crotch” you cowards!) and boob tattoo (or offered to fix that for him while they’re in the joint).  

Mickey’s got new ink on his forearm we never see clearly.  Until and unless we’re told otherwise, I’m saying it’s a big ginger root ;)  Bam.  

On a personal note, and not to rain on anybody’s parade, while I believe 100% in Drunk Crew Guy and what he said, I really don’t see us getting another scene in the finale.  This show’s attention span is down to nothing now, and I can’t see them dragging these guys back out now that they’ve given us (shitty) endgame. I don’t think enough time will have passed to let them out of prison by then, I think those final episodes are going to be about Fiona leaving and not Ian and Mickey getting to Mexico-and I can’t really see Mickey being able to go back there now that he’s crossed a cartel.  My feeling is the show filmed 2 possible endings using Noel to choose from-one ending with them in Mexico and the other being the one we got.  They probably ripped off The Shawshank Redemption too much with a Mexico ending and decided to go with this “original” idea instead.  I’d love nothing more than to be wrong, and to get one more scene of these two free and happy.  Cam’s question mark at the end of his farewell post and the fact that I do trust everything DCG said leaves a spark of hope burning in my heart, but hopefully I can back away from endless online speculation and theories about it over the next 5 months.  If it happens, beautiful.  If it doesn’t, at least we got one last look at Mickey and he’s getting dicked down and the love he’s always deserved, even if I hate the fact they’re locked up and will be in danger whenever they’re not in their cell-not to mention this is the shitty way gay love stories get handled in general, but I must not go down that path again in this recap.  

I want to add that Mickey didn’t sound all that “Mickey” in his scene, but maybe he didn’t need his swagger and was being more “real” to let Ian know he had a choice (as always, Mickey didn’t force himself on Ian-he let him come to him).  And kudos to Cam for not doing his hideous Chicago accent for most of the episode.  

There WAS love and chemistry in that final scene.  Just sucks that we don’t get it anywhere else in the show and they wasted so much time last night that could’ve been given to Cameron and Noel.  

But hey, I’m finally free of recapping ;)  While I’m sorry the Gallavich parts are now over, I’m not sorry I can finally quit missing what we used to get while watching what the show now does.  Mickey and Ian are back together now, so, fuck you, Shameless.  

[scaryscarecrows]

Accidents

Dove is just wondering if she should see Sionis (ugh, but he’s creepy and she hates him) or get a snack (the chestnut cart is a street over…one little street…) when there’s a blur of red and brown followed by a, “Holy shit, I’m saved, Jesus really does love me."

What?

The red and brown blur is Jason, who is now hiding behind her skirts. Great. He’s…done something.

“Petit rouge-”*

“Okay so I might’a fucked up a little teeny tiny bit but I swear it was an accident so you gotta hide me please-please-please-”

“What did you do?”

“Gave Dickie a haircut.”

Sionis can go hang-she’s going home and getting a drink.

“Jason…”

“He asked! My hand slipped!”

She twists around in time to see him peering out into the crowds, presumably searching for his executioner-er, older brother. He looks somewhat sorry-pale and tense, at least-but…well…Dick accidentally tackled him (long story) a few weeks ago and he’s the type to hold a grudge.

“Nothing bad is going to happen.”

“He’s gonna kill me.” Maim, maybe. “Pleeeeease, you gotta help me out here.”

“Absolutely not.”

“You don’t want me to die, do ya? Me, the ray of sunshine? The favorite child?”

“My favorite child is Penguin’s girl-shaped umbrella stand.”

“…the favorite alive child?”

This kid needs to find a theatre troupe. Seriously, if one passes through town, they need to take him.

She rubs her nose to hide the fact that she’s about to laugh and cranes to see if she can spot Dick anywhere. She can’t, but that means nothing-that boy’s half-monkey, he has to be, and he could be bouncing along on the sun shades the shopkeepers have set up today. Or on the roofs.

This is Cobblepot’s fault. He went and offered him a job as a part-time snitch and things snowballed.

“I’ll do an-yyyy-thing,” Jason’s begging, all but on his knees. “I sweeeeearr. Steal, lie, murder, be Penguin’s new umbrella stand, whatever. Just please-”

There’s a snarl from behind them and Jason tenses to bolt. She grabs him by the collar and turns to face…oh.

Oh dear.

It’s, ah, it. It starts well. Nice and even, no straggling locks in the back. But the bangs…well…

She’s thinking Jason really didn’t mean to. Nobody gets that kind of chunk cut out on purpose. No, that truly was an accident.

“Bury me next to my mother.”

“Don’t be a goose.”

Dick’s clearly been running-he’s red and panting and his hat is clutched in his hand. He jams it on his head and stalks forward and, really, to be fair, in ten years that might be scary. Maybe. A little bit.

“I need to borrow my brother,” he grinds out when he reaches them. Dove sighs.

“No. Come on, walk with me.”

Dick scowls and jabs a finger in Jason’s direction.

“We duel on the morrow.”

They both need to find a theatre troupe.

“Boys…”

“I told ya! My hand slipped!”

“Look at what he did to me!” Dick gestures to the, ah, the mishap. “I’ll look like this ‘til I’m old!”

“It’ll grow back in a week or two. Come on.”

“Maybe you can pity your way into food, huh?”

“Don’t help.” Dick makes a strange noise that sounds like a cross between a death rattle and a roar of rage. Jason looks longingly towards a nearby alley. “You boys eaten anything today?”

“Jason’s getting a knuckle sandwich later.”

“No, that’s your order-”

If she ever, somehow, ends up with kids of her own, she wants a kid, and preferably a daughter. Girls are better than this. They poison you, not brawl in the street.

“No.”

* * *

They end up tagging along to the mill. She’d rather them not, but technically they can go where they like. Maybe it’s better this way-the wander in here alone and they might get…recruited.

This isn’t a good place for kids. Not that it matters-most of Roman Sionis’s work force is twelve and under. Easy to train, easy to replace, and cheap. The labor laws are supposed to look after them, but nobody enforces them. ‘Specially not when it’s the street kids getting pulled in. They’re out of the way, and it’s an honest living.

Dove hates coming down here.

Roman Sionis is a big man, with nice suits and rough knuckles. But what catches everyone’s attention is the mask he wears. He was burned, badly, during the War and light hurts him. At least, that’s his claim. Dove suspects he just likes the unease the thing causes. There’s rumors that it’s a real skull, and she doubts those, but it’s lifelike enough all the same.

The black teeth grin down at them now and she feels Dick try to pull Jason behind him.

“And who are these?”

“Couple’a errand boys, they’re with me today.” Not for you. “Mister Cobblepot would like you to be aware that lateness is not tolerated in his organization, Mister Sionis.”

Silence. Somewhere on the floor below, there’s an agonized scream and the horrible grinding of a machine. Sionis doesn’t even turn around.

“You can tell Mister Cobblepot to come down here and talk to me in person next time, rather than playing telegram.” He seems to grow taller, somehow. “I don’t appreciate being treat-”

SSSSHHHRRRIIIIEEEEK!

That sounds bad.

It must be, at least a little-Sionis turns around now and goes to his office window. A second later, he opens it and roars, “What’s going on down there?”

Now, with the window open, the screaming is a lot louder. She’s about to demand that he either go down there and help or finish up here when Dick and Jason decide they want to get involved and bolt, pounding downstairs and emerging a few seconds later on the work floor.

Shit-oh. Oh, dear God.

The problem is…one of the machines. She’s not sure what it does, but it goes round and round at a terrible speed, and it’s…there’s a little girl, nine, ten, no older than Jason. She’s caught in it and it keeps slamming her against the cement** and she’s still screaming.

And then the screaming stops, but the machine’s still going, or trying to, and underneath the horribly whirring and grinding she can hear the snapping of bones. The floor is red, now, and there’s something squishy that keeps getting spread all over the place and she’s going to be sick-

Dick and Jason have come to a stop at the edge of the crowd. Somebody finally manages to get the machine shut down and…God, that little girl’s barely even…her skirt. That’s all. That’s what got her caught and that’s all that’s recognizable anymore.

“Get that cleaned up and get back to work!”

Dick’s mouth is opening and Dove’s finally close enough to grab him.

“Don’t.”

“But-”

“We’re leaving. Don’t antagonize him.”

She doubts Sionis even realizes they’ve gone-he’s still shouting from his office when the door finally shuts behind them. Jason, for once, is silent, pale and shaking and pressed tightly against Dick’s side.

“What is that place?”

“Now you know why I said you don’t wanna come.” She rubs her nose and tries and fails to unhear the screaming and the snapping. “You don’t go in there. You don’t come back here. Is that clear?” Frantic nodding from the both of them. “Roman Sionis used to be in charge of Gotham until Penguin arrived. Now he makes smuggling boxes at that mill.”

Silence. Dick’s clutching Jason like a doll and Jason’s not even pretending to complain. Outside, the sun’s setting and Dove sees nightmares on the horizon.

“Penguin’s visiting his mother tonight,” she says on a whim. “You boys can stay in the guest room, he won’t mind.”

“You’re sure-”

“Yeah. Just don’t make a mess or vanish anything, huh?”

Olga raises an eyebrow when she herds them inside, but Dove just reminds her that she had to go see Sionis today and the eyebrow goes back down, only to be replaced with a grimace.

“What happened?”

“Accident with one of the machines. It…she just kept hitting the floor and it wouldn’t stop going around.”

“They saw?”

“Everything.”

And then the woman’s gone, moving upstairs with a silence that Dove always forgets she’s capable of. The boys will probably end tonight petrified that she’ll put them into the oven, but at least they’ll be warm.

And, more importantly, off the streets and out of range of Sionis’ ever-seeking fingers.

THE END

    *‘Small/little red’.

**Actually happened (probably more than once). The accounts ain’t pretty.

[the-ventriloquizt]

some arnie and scarface backstory stuff (very long... again)

arnold was born into a family trying to get in on gotham's mob dealings, though arnold's mother wanted nothing to do with it and especially didn't want her only child to get involved. arnold would witness his mother's death at the hands of his father's men early in his life, first watching her get hit by a car and then seeing a man get out of it to make sure she was dead, not noticing arnold hiding away. this was, undoubtedly, extremely traumatizing for the poor kid.

his father was arrested for it and sent to blackgate, but not before arnold was drilled by police into spilling everything he ever knew about his father and the family (which really wasn't much, though they kept insisting he knew more than he was saying)

his aunt on his mother's side adopted him, and he lived a pretty ok life for a while, though he had a deep seated fear that his father would come finish the job, and couldn't talk about anything from his life before because his aunt would get upset and stop talking to him. he couldn't even mention his mother without getting treated like he was invisible, but he handled it. he pushed it down.

he suppressed it all (alcohol-assisted for most of it), especially his ever-developing hallucinations and anxiety, and went through school and a very, very boring stint of college without much trouble. he really came into his own, however, when he realized that he had some pretty lovely vocal talents, and began singing at a gay club for dinner shows. it was probably the best parts of his life, those five or so years. he had just started gaining some self-confidence...

and then his aunt died in a car 'accident'. she had been found a victim of a hit-and-run, just a regular hit-and-run, but arnold was convinced that his father had come back from prison to kill him, killing her first to make a point. nothing the police told him could convince him any different, and it chewed at him, pulling up so many horrible feelings he had originally thought were buried.

the next show he tried to sing at was his last. trying to force it all down again, as he began to sing, he started seeing people. people in dark suits, hats covering their eyes, glinting guns in their coats. at every table he could see them, could see his father's men, and in the middle of what was supposed to be the chorus... he screamed at the hopelessness of it all. he screamed and clutched his face and ran away, running into his dressing room and barricading the door behind him. he refused to open up for anybody, and only left once he knew the entire place had shut down.

his public meltdown had been in the news for a little bit, since he was a small-time celebrity, and he practically disappeared at that point. he stayed at his aunt's apartment and waited, waiting for his father to finish him. when he finally left the apartment to go grocery shopping, he made sure to go through the alleys, away from the main street, away from the prying eyes of the people in long cars...

and he ran right into a gristly murder scene.

a man laid dead in the middle of the alley with an uncountable amount of knife wounds in his chest, a suitcase in one hand, and a ventriloquist dummy on the other. he was dressed in a striped suit and a hat, but the dummy was dressed like a prisoner, a giant gash across an eye and the front of its shirt torn open. the man had been donnegan, a escapee from blackgate, but arnold didn't know that.

arnold stood there, just looking for a while. he didn't know how to react. just, a dead body. right there. worse, he just approached it, crouched next to him, and asked 'Are you okay?', like he didn't know the man was dead. he couldn't process it, with everything else on his mind.

even worse... the puppet responded.

'no, an' its gonna get worse for you too, if ya don't get us outta here quick.'

arnold didn't have time to question it, as he heard someone coming from the other end of the alley. he snatched up the puppet and the suitcase and bolted back home, only stopping once he had his door completely locked and all of his windows covered by curtains.

he began berating himself the very instant he got home, realizing that he stole evidence from a crime scene, and that someone could track him down somehow! and then he'd end up in prison! with his dad!

the puppet interrupted.

'nah, noone's gonna be lookin' for the killer of dat mug. i'm the important one, see? look in the suitcase.'

arnold was wary now to listen to a talking puppet, but he didn't know what else he could do. the suitcase didn't have much in it; it was originally just a box to hold the puppet, but there was a gun, and a bunch of rolled up little papers, names and addresses on them, hidden in a pocket.

'i've got some gusiness to do, gut i've got time. what's your proglem, kid? you've scratched my gack, and now i gotta return the favor.'

arnold had begun speaking for the puppet, and then he started speaking to it, spilling everything that had ever happened to him, from his mother's death to his very recent, very public meltdown... and the puppet listened. no punishment, no nothing. he finally got it off his chest, and the puppet said,

'i knows a way to get your pop off your gack: you just gotta ge getter than him. ge gigger than him. i can get ya there, gut youse gotta ge ready.'

arnold insisted, he'd do anything to get his father away from him, anything.

that anything started with burning down the club he sang at. after all, those shadowy people knew he worked there! it'd only put everyone in danger if they kept going, looking for him. best thing to do was to burn it, the puppet said. so he did. he burned the place to ashes, and felt nothing for it. he felt absolutely nothing.

'oh, an' my name's Al, gut i prefer Scarface, get me? we're gonna ge the kings of this gurg, Arnie, and your pop's ain't gonna dare touch ya.'

very quickly it stopped being about arnold's father. it just became scarface's context-less quest as they visited every name on the suitcase's lists and either menaced them into giving up their turf or killed them for refusing, and scarface's influence grew and grew to a frightening point. scarface grew bigger than anything arnold's father could've fathomed, and arnold followed right behind, unsure of what he'd gotten himself into, but too scared to back out now.

scarface's gratefulness quickly ran out, too, and his gruff but caring 'i'll protect you' persona turned into something vile, a mix of violent jealousy and blatant disregard, the hateful critic that had originally stayed in the back of arnold's mind finding a physical form in scarface. all of his insecurities became fair game, and he couldn't deny any of it. if it came from scarface, it was obviously true.

arnold has his own jealousy issues, and cannot stand anybody but him holding and using scarface, to the point of maiming if it keeps people away from him. the only person with arnold's permission to hold scarface is rhino, and thats only if it's an Absolute Emergency (or if he's fallen asleep with scarface on his lap again).

it took ten years from the fire and the beginning of scarface’s rise for batman to finally zero in on them, and it's been quite a ride since.

random facts:

scarface's backstory, of the 313 souls and gallow's wood, the cursed puppet, came from rumors from blackgate after donnegan's death. they had reached arnold and scarface through word of mouth, and scarface happily adopted it, finding it fun to make everyone squirm with the idea.

rhino had been on the suitcase list, but he wasn't the guy they were looking for, and instead joined them, since he had been looking for work anyways. it didn't help that scarface was awful charismatic, what with his gun and all.

arnold thought that scarface's name was 'al' because the prisoner's outfit he was wearing had A and 1 on it and he misread it.

scarface has been getting better, personality wise. after the 'lock-up' situation and very, very, very many therapy sessions, he's become more of a properly protective force than an abusive one. he's still very violent, just not as much to arnold anymore. arnold's appreciative, but still kinda thinks he deserved the treatment. :(

arnold's favorite song is 'shoot him down!' by alice francis. scarface likes gangster movie soundtracks and frankie valli and the four season's 'beggin'.

[amourete-blog1]

(( and THIS is the log i actually fell asleep during. sorry tae. it seems like it ends abruptly and that’s bc the last message is one i actually sent when i woke up the next day and it was ungodly early in tae’s time zone. this happened during feli’s visit w clams.

tagging: @brackishbarracuda @vvicissitudo @9hosis and i should be tagging the rest of the muses here but, all the muns have been tagged at least, so let’s leave it there for simplicity’s sake?

this log goes over pretty much everything that happened so here’s an advance warning for: amputation, serious violence, child harm.

begin log:

Last Friday at 8:26 PM

amourete I know your AI or whatever robot bullshit is on right now, I don't know if you'll ever get this, but just... Come home soon. Please. I don't know why you left and I trust you to make decisions like that for yourself, but Clams is here and ready to fight for you and your home and I'm here with him, everyone's worried. I hope you're safe. I hope you're well. I love you. Yesterday at 4:35 AM

brackishbarracuda felide ?

amourete Oh my god it's you You're safe??

brackishbarracuda yeah im im safe im ha i was gonna say im alright but thats but no im okay im safe

amourete Okay. That's a start, isn't it? We can build on that.

brackishbarracuda fuck fel i didnt mean for any a this

amourete Did you think I assumed you did?

brackishbarracuda im ready for the worst from literally everybody right now especially from you

amourete You're not a weapon, Meenah. You're not borne of mindless violence and you don't break everything you touch. You're an angel, with all their destructive power when you choose, but there is still a choice involved. You know your anger. You know the blood you carry. You know what you can do because you've seen it a thousand times. I knew you wouldn't have done this without a *very* good reason. I just don't know what it is. I want to hear it from you.

brackishbarracuda aya was burnt my youngest the one with the fever

amourete Burnt?

brackishbarracuda im saury words are really fucky right now i got a message that said ayad been burnt after id left her with cho

brackishbarracuda she was screaming when i got there i ?? panicked is the only fucking word for it

amourete Do you remember what happened?

brackishbarracuda there was a knife and i fought sal and cho was holdin her she was already blistering i she was so loud fel i lunged and i took chos arm and if were done isle understand

amourete We're not done. Don't give up on me. Please. That's the last thing I want.

amourete Where is Aya? How bad are her burns? Was it fire, a stove?

brackishbarracuda give up on you felide i maimed your club im shes where i am shes bein taken care of theyre psi burns

amourete I know what you did but god damnit I've dated *both* of you for the same amount of time and I'm not leaving you to fucking burn if there's *something* we can salvage from this. I love you. I love them. This is only a point of no return if we make it so and I REFUSE to make it so.

brackishbarracuda felide i need a minute

amourete Take every minute you need. I'll be here. I always will be.

brackishbarracuda im here do you have uh questions

amourete A lot. Do you know what's going on here at home?

brackishbarracuda isle do the best i can youre with clams hes armored up

brackishbarracuda there will be no world in which i can thank you enough for lookin out for him

amourete And Cho and Sal? Vis? What do you know about them right now?

brackishbarracuda nothing

amourete Oh, good. I had been afraid someone angrier than me had gotten to you first.

amourete Cho is with Nicco. Lucy says he's a skilled medic - I believe her. They're alive, but injured. I don't think I need to tell you that. Lucy said Cho is asleep. Clams says they're compatose. I don't know which is true, I haven't had the time to find out. Either way, they're unavailable.

brackishbarracuda im buyin them a new one if theyll let me it aint gonna make anything right but i dont know what else to do

amourete Clams said something about Sal malfunctioning? I... don't know what's going on. I don't know where he is. I'm scared to find out. I can't stand talking to the fucking AIs for too long because it freaks me out not talking to them, but seeing their names. I'll... deal But not now. Vis is with Vici. He's scared out of his mind. Vici says he's been trying to distract Vis from thinking about what happened because every time he does, it's... bad. But he's physically safe, physically unharmed. Because of all these things, you are the first and currently the *only* one who was there, bore witness and knows what happened. Whatever you know, write it down. Tell me, tell Clams, I don't care, *write it down.* As honestly as you can.

brackishbarracuda im telling everybody you clams tuna arlequin kan my kid was hurt and i fucked up

amourete I know. I know you want to make it right - we're going to work on that, but with Cho out of commission right now, we can't. You need a record you can come back to, something reliable to remind you of what you saw and heard and did.

amourete You know right now, but my worry is that it will be less fresh in your mind as time goes on... You were afraid. You panicked. Those memories don't last long.

amourete Hey, baby?

brackishbarracuda y yeah yes

amourete Thank you for not running from this. Thank you for facing it. I know it took time. I'm glad you did it.

brackishbarracuda where did you come from i mean not that fuck

amourete Try again. :PP

brackishbarracuda i feel more selfish than i have in a long time telling you this like i have any right to it but i love you

amourete I love you too. That's why I'm here. I'm not giving up on you, so don't give up on me. We're going to make it through this. We'll find a way. I don't know what the future holds, but we're going to face it and come out okay on the other side. All of us.

amourete I'm upset that this happened. I'm worried. Cho is hurt, and I love them. I've been angry and frustrated, but those aren't directed at you: right now what I feel most of all is concern, for everyone.

brackishbarracuda howd a troll with a heart that big get hatched

amourete With a tail, apparently. :PP

brackishbarracuda so thats where all the extra patience wnt

brackishbarracuda went fuck

amourete :** I know you didn't mean to do this. I know you better than that. Yes, though, it still hurt... And I'm not one of the ones most hurt either. You know this. I know you do. You already know the weight of this, I don't need to tell you. I want to support you doing what you can to try to make this right. Right now, I'm just glad you're okay. When Cho is here, we can figure out everything else.

brackishbarracuda how many times am i gonna cry tonight fuck

amourete Too many.

brackishbarracuda naut enough

amourete When are you coming home?

brackishbarracuda not yet i dont know not for a few days at least the last thing i want is targets on yalls back for this im uh im at dirks btw

amourete I've lived hundreds of sweeps with a target on my back. No troll alive could kill me in my first life, and no one will in this life either.

amourete Stay there as long as you need. I just wanted to know - I won't tell anyone but your partners, should they ask. And Mituna. For anyone else, they'll have to ask you.

brackishbarracuda thank you i have done nothin in my life to deserve you

amourete You can keep telling yourself that, or you can do something about it. Now you're coming up to a chance to do just that. Make me proud. I love you. I want you to know that. I love you so much.

brackishbarracuda fuck fel

brackishbarracuda its its down

amourete It's down?

brackishbarracuda what happened

brackishbarracuda all that i can remember

amourete You actually did it. Fuck. I didn't think you would. :'33

brackishbarracuda you asked me to what else was i gonna do

amourete Anything else? I'm still just so... Out of it. God.

brackishbarracuda if you if you wake up tomorrow and realize im unforgiveable isle understand

amourete Baby, no...

amourete Listen. I'm not the one to make that decision. You never struck me. Seek forgiveness from them first, when you can.

brackishbarracuda why arent you pissed at me

amourete Because being angry at you would do nothing but drive a wedge between us.

[themadlostgirl]

Not Dead Yet (Part 36)

*A bit of a jumble not gonna lie. Realized I made some plot holes and needed to fix them as best I can.*

Pairing: Reader x Peter Pan

Warning: language

Ever since that day the new boy Rufio became my shadow. He was a interesting one to say the least. He was short for his age with naturally dark skin and a mane of red hair that made him easy to spot among the boys. Devin and the others thought it was funny that he was following me around like a lost pup. It seemed I now had two pets.

While my new follower amused the others it severely pissed off Peter. It was hard to find a moment alone with him tagging along everywhere I went. I liked Rufio just fine and a new face helped cut through some boredom but I would be lying if I wasn’t a little antsy for some alone time. Not just time for myself but ever since Rufio came to the island Peter and I hadn’t had any time together. When I usually got a moment alone Peter was gone or I was too tired to do anything.

I was walking through the jungle with Candace on my shoulder and Rufio at my side. I had just finished showing him Dead Man’s Peak and explaining the dreamshade poison. It was getting late though and I was very tired. Day by day more and more boys had been coming to the island. Some by Peter, most by his shadow. The camp grew so large we had to move it to a bigger clearing in the depths of the island that made coming to and from the coast a lengthy journey.

“There you two are,” Peter appeared on our path, “Rufio, beat it. I need to talk to Y/N alone for a minute.”

Rufio gave me a concerned look but I nodded for him to go on ahead. I handed Candace over to him and they disappeared into the jungle.

“Peter, I’m really tired and don’t feel like--”

“I’m not here about that.” he cut me off, “Well sort of. There’s something I’ve been meaning to discuss with you.”

“Can’t this wait till tomorrow when I’ve had some sleep?” I sat down and rested back against a tree.

“I know you’re tired but this is important.” He knelt across from me, “Recently with the new boys there’s been a rift.”

“I’d say. Half of them are crying their eyes out at night because they miss dear old mummy and daddy. They’re on an island where there are no rules, no responsibilities, no fear of growing older and you can create almost anything you want with a little belief. How could they not love it here?”

“That’s what I say! But again that’s not the problem, not exactly. The rift is something more internal. I’ve heard some rumors, whispers really, that they are planning an uprising against us.”

“An uprising? They do realize what you’re capable of? They’d never stand a chance.”

“I know that and you know that but they don’t know that. The fact that these ungrateful little shits are trying to turn against me has me mad but apparently they are looking to you as their leader.”

“Me?” the news perked me awake, “Peter I can assure you that I am not leading some rebellion.”

“Don’t be silly, pet, I know you wouldn’t betray me. They’ve only named you their leader because they think you’re the only one that can stand to fight against me.”

“Well…”

“Y/N,”

“Joking, only joking. Any idea why they think your second in command would turn against you?”

“Because you’re, ahem, queen.”

“Queen?”

“Oh yes.”

“Idiots.”

“You have to admit that you do command a lot of respect on the island second to only me.”

“But why would they look to me? Are they hoping I’ll be there misguided mother figure? If they’re hoping I’ll coddle them they are in for a surprise. But I suppose I understand them. They wanted time away from their mundane lives and they got it. But the adventure is over now. They’re not like us, Peter. They don’t need Neverland like we do. None of them are the boy we’re looking for. Why not just send the cry babies back?”

“You know why.”

“No one leaves Neverland without your permission. I’m just asking you grant them that. Most of them are weak, unmotivated whiners. Why would you even want to keep them?”

“Because the moment they set foot on the island they became Lost Boys and this is where they belong whether they like it or not. If they wanted to truly remain in their boring lives they wouldn’t have asked to be taken away.”

“If this leads to war between the boys--”

“It won’t!”

“Just know that it could have been avoided.” I adjusted myself more comfortably. “I’m gonna take a nap.”

“You sleep a lot lately.”

“Not much to do once you’ve done everything there is here.” I yawned. “I’ll see you back at camp, okay?”

“Sure you don’t want me to take us back to camp in a blink?”

“No. I need a night where I don’t have to listen to the new boys cry the night through.”

“Alright. Don’t get yourself into any trouble.”

“I’ll be asleep. How could I possibly cause trouble?”

“I’m sure you’d find a way.” he smirked at me. I stuck my tongue out at him and fell asleep.

~~~

Devin had to admit he thought Rufio was flipping hilarious. Any other time when a new kid came to the island and they challenged Y/N she would break them in so to say and go back to her normal friends. Rufio though, he adopted her as his mentor and they formed this weird friendship. Only problem was that Y/N was slowly starting to lose patience. The boys that know Y/N best can instantly tell when she’s annoyed and when she gets annoyed you get out of her way unless you want your arm broken (or in one case stabbed). Poor naive Rufio didn’t realize how close he was to making her snap. That’s why when Rufio showed up at camp late that night without Y/N it was a relief. Maybe he finally got some sense about him.

“Oy Devin?” Rufio walked up to him, “Is there something goin’ on between Pan and Y/N?”

“Are you serious?” Devin laughed.

“I know it’s nonsense but we were walkin’ and Pan showed up and told me to leave. He looked ticked for some reason. Do they not get along so well?”

“Oh…” This threw Devin, “Well um...Pan and Y/N get along great. Really great. When it goes south though it gets ugly fast, they have actually tried to kill each other in the past.”

“Holy mother of god,” Rufio looked horrified.

“Yeah, just be glad that you didn’t have to suffer through the endless downpour when Pan really pissed her off. He knows not to mess with her anymore.” He gestured for Rufio to come closer, “You didn’t hear this but Pan is wrapped around her little finger. Everyone knows it but if you mention it then that’s a sure fire way to get yourself maimed.”

“But why? I know she’s a good fighter and she gets along with most the others but how did she become so important?”

“Sheer force of will.” Ben muttered from his spot next to Devin. “I’m sure she could move mountains just by glaring at them hard enough.”

“Yeah,” Rufio toed the dirt with his boot, “She’s pretty amazin’ like that.”

Ben and Devin exchanged a nervous glance. “Ben, your turn.” Devin whispered as he scooted back from the daydreaming idiot before them.

“What?” Rufio looked at them.

“Rufio, are you asking all this about Y/N and Pan because you might be interested in her?” Rufio’s face flushed as brightly as his hair.

“N-No, of course not. I just think that she’s exceedingly skilled but I’m not interested in her...did she say something?”

“Rufio, do not go down this road.” Ben warned, “Y/N is not that kind of a girl. We are her brothers, she our sister. You do not get those kinds of thoughts for her. You especially do not try to act on them.”

“But--”

“No buts! Count yourself lucky that she welcomed you at all instead of dumping you after you had the insane idea to fight her your very first day.”

Rufio stared down at the ground disheartened. “I don’t get it.”

“Get what?” Ben asked but Rufio left without answering.

“Should we be worried?” Devin watched as Rufio disappeared back into the jungle.

“Nah, he’s not the first new boy to fancy Y/N. Once he realizes she won’t have him he’ll back off.” Ben shrugged, “I think what we need to worry about is these new kids Pan’s been bringing in.”

“The whiners?” Devin sneered, “Yeah, they need some sense beat into them.”

“That’s what I say. You know they actually talk like they’re going to escape. How thick can you get?”

“I suppose we’ll just have to rectify that.” Devin smirked and whistled for Nick and Felix. They had some planning to do.

~~~

For the first time since Rufio came to the island he hasn’t been stuck to my side all day. It was relaxing but also mildly concerning. What had happened that he finally backed off? I decided not to dwell on it and enjoy the respite from his company. I think I knew the best way to use my time off as well.

The boys were off at training for the morning. I searched for Peter but he wasn’t in his tent. He must be at training with the others. How was I gonna get him away from the others without arousing suspicion? I’ll deal with that mess when I get to it.

When I arrived at the grounds though it was a horror show. All the new boys that I had so generously dubbed the crybabies were were tied to trees with apples resting on their heads. The other boys were shooting arrows at them to varying results. Next to one boy I noticed the shaft of a spear stuck in a bush where it must have just missed their target. All the boys, including Rufio, looked terrified while the others laughed and kept firing.

Peter was standing back from the crowd with a wicked smile. I noticed Nick notch another arrow and pounced on him. “Ah! Y/N, what the hell?”

“You’re saying that to me?” I took the bow and snapped it over my knee. “What are you idiots doing?”

“Just a bit of target practice.” Peter strutted up to me, “Care to join?”

“I cannot believe you! They are Lost Boys, not targets!”

“This was not my idea. They already had this setup when I got here.” Peter raised his hands in defense. “I am merely an observer. They needed a lesson anyways, bloody traitors.”

“So who's brilliant idea was this then?” I marched up to the boys wielding my club dangerously. “Someone had better answer me!”

Devin stepped forward nervously. “There’s no reason to make a big deal out of this. They’re the ones that were spouting treason.”

“I understand that but shooting out their eyes is not the right way to punish them. Untie them now.”

“You can’t just order us around. You’re not the leader here, Pan is!” Devin snapped back at me.

“I suppose he is.” I walked back up to Peter, “You condone this?”

“You were the one that was worried they would start a civil war. This is nipping it in the bud.”

“You didn’t do anything! You only ensured their revolt!”

“And if they try then they know what will happen.”

“Fine, they know. Let them go.”

“If you wish it.” he nodded and the boys cut the others free of their bonds.

“Y/N, thank you! Thank you!” the boys rushed to me.

“Get off!” I shoved them away, “Beat it before they change their minds.”

The boys nodded and scampered off. Rufio was left standing with a bleeding shoulder. “Y/N--”

“Not now.” I stressed through clenched teeth. He stayed staring at me, more at the possessive arm of Peter slung over my shoulder, “Not now, Rufio.”

He glanced back at Peter before leaving in the direction of the others. “I am done with you idiots. I cannot take another moment stuck on this island with all you stupid boys!” I shoved Peter’s arm off me. “You do not follow me. You do not try to stop me. I will return because this is my home but I cannot stay here for another moment.”

I snagged Peter’s pouch of beans off his belt and withdrew a handful. He didn’t fight me to stay and shushed the others when they did. When I was far enough away I dropped a bean on the ground and jumped through imagining a place with no boys in sight. Someplace completely unlike Neverland.

I was spat back out someplace surrounded by dense forest and snow up to my ankles. Well this is different at least. The cold wind tore through my thin shirt. I continued struggling through the snow hoping my breathing problems wouldn’t come back to haunt me. There was a small shack up ahead exuding warm light. Better than nothing.

When I got to the shack and knocked on the door. The door swung open to an old woman with a large drooping lip. “This is a day for lost children isn’t it?” she spoke unnaturally clear for someone with a disfigured mouth should. “Come in before your lungs give out.”

“Thank you.” I stepped inside. There were two more women that looked much like the old woman who let me in sitting at a spinning wheel. Speaking of the shack it was much larger than it looked from the outside. Every corner was filled with books, jars of pickled miscellaneous, pots of herbs, withered flowers, and piles and piles of thread.

“You should have chosen somewhere warmer child.” the spinner woman with a broad foot said. The spinner next to her had a thumb as swollen as a plum.

“Excuse me?” the spinner with the drooping lip sat me down and shuffled off to the whistling kettle.

“Oh to be someplace warm would be a dream.” the first spinner came back with the kettle and poured me a cup of tea. “But you’ve had your fill, haven’t you? Even now the scent of sun follows you.”

“What’s going on?” I looked at the three strange woman. “Who are you?”

“Bain, Cibil, and Dabria, we are. And you are the lost child, Y/N.”

“How do you know me?”

“Just as you know us my child.” Bain said, “Dabria, the window.”

The heavy footed spinner clomped to the window and locked the shutters in place just as a gust of wind rattled the shack. Where was I? These spinster ladies were making me uneasy with every word that creaked out of their wrinkle lined mouths.

“Do not be scared child.” Dabria smiled at me, “We only hope to help you with the hardships you will face soon.”

“What are you talking about? What hardships? How do you know any of this?” I demanded. My outburst didn’t faze them one bit and sat down across from me. All I had wanted was to get away from the island.

“Tut tut,” they silenced me, “There is not much time and so much you need to know for your upcoming struggles.”

They urged me to keep drinking my tea and started shuffling around the shack checking small things and skimming through the dozens of dusty books. “Ah here,” Cibil handed me a leather bound book with Neverland written on the cover in emerald green paint. “This should help.”

“But what is this? What’s going on?”

“Tut tut, you will know soon enough.” They took my cup and peered inside. “Oh dear, oh dear. Poor child, such a curse to bear trapped in a land of unwilling residents. What pain there will be for your hearts.”

“Hearts?” perhaps I had misheard.

“Oh yes,” the spinsters sighed, “Do not fret, there will be joys to compensate the sorrows. Lilies, wings and a darling bird.”

Flowers and a bird? Well I suppose Candace was darling as they put it.

“Anything else?” I asked the three strange women.

“Yes, for our services we do require payment.”

“Payment? I came by here by accident, you helped me without my asking. Why should I pay you? You’ve barely done anything.”

The three pairs of eyes glaring back at me silenced me into submission. “You knew what you were looking for when you left. You knocked on our door for assistance. Now, your payment.”

“I don’t have any money.” I showed them my empty pockets, “I do have a magic bean.” I withdrew one of the glittering beans I had taken from Peter.

“We have no need for your portals.” they waved off the bean, “That little baubles will do.”

My hand came up to clutch the pearl necklace resting on my sternum. “My necklace? It’s just a pearl.”

“A special pearl, no? It has been there every moment since you touched the island’s soil. It is sentiment. Priceless compared to that of a bean or gold.”

They held out their weathered hands and it was with a heavy heart I tore the necklace from it’s long resting home on my neck and dropped it into their palms. They smiled at the worn pearl. “It’s time to go my child.”

Bewildered and wanting to get out of that shack and away from the three elderly I nodded and clutched the book they gave me tightly to my chest. They dropped my necklace in a little chest and gave me soft smiles as I backed out the door. I braced myself for the cold but when I stepped outside the snow was gone replaced with tall lush grass and the sweet smell of flowers on the breeze. I turned back to the shack but that was gone as well with a massive oak tree in its place.

This is too weird for even me. I looked back at the book in my hands and sighed. I was hoping to be gone longer but I needed some questions answered. I dropped the bean on the ground and headed back home.

When I landed back on Neverland I could tell instantly that something was incredibly wrong. First I had only been gone for an hour at most. How was it night here? Also, the island was cold and the sky was muddled by rumbling clouds. I climbed up a tree and looked over the island. Darkness. Nothing but inky darkness. I should at least be able to see the camp bonfire or the lights of the Jolly Roger on the sea.

“What have you idiots done now?” I muttered to myself and dropped out of the tree.

(First) (Previous) (Next)

[hgfstreamchats]

Much ado about monkeys

I'm not late! Not in the slightest! hello! Hello there! Thousands? Really? So this isn't some kind of. Zoo fostering program. Nope. It's just a logical extension of the term 'furbaby' This is facial trauma waiting to happen. But... monkeys. I mean, they're not domesticated nah, nah, these little monkeys aren't the face rippers. They ARE The monkeys that can learn to steal and wield weapons tho ......This was supposed to be filler as we all filed in, but the full movie's available. It sounds like EXACTLY the kind of freakshow that's suitable for movie night! Perfect! Tomatoes will wait. They'll wait and they'll like it. You just can't compete with monkeys. I hope it tells us where they're even getting the monkeys.... well, THAT'S not a disturbing sentiment! From someone who cares whether monkeys live or die, no doubt. they're terribly cute but this entire thing is making Twilight Zone music play in my head. Right?

check DailyMotion One second. There's things to skip forward/back ten seconds Either side of the pause button in the middle whyyyy does every other line sound like it's out of the trailer of a horror movie Oh, yeah, it's very important to make sure your PET MONKEY's gender presentation is, uh, socially acceptable For their blankets and stuff Unicron forbid! Because they definitely understand and care about that But he does want an exotic animal to treat as a baby. !!! I mean. I like they're able to satisfy these feelings and are aware of their own limitations. I just. These are the types of monkeys that form monkey gangs in cities? JESUS This is healthy and fine. I mean, literally, there's an epidemic of monkey thieves banding together in some cities She laughs the laughter of the damned. ikr "to make her look more like my daughter" Oh, yeah, I can definitely see the resemblance I can't tell if self-deprecating or worrying ewwwwwwww she IS a monkey, though These monkeys uniformly look upset. they do not comprehend ANY LEVEL of this This certainly looks legitimate. What a depressing environment This is horrifying. HER SMILE IS HORRIFYING If this doesn't feature an attack at some point, I'm rioting. Why do they put them in clothes It's, definitely about making them look more like little people, right? They have fur! HEY! GUESS WHAT! MOST SMALLER MONKEYS ON:Y LIVE UP TO 25 YEARS At which point this charade comes to a merciful end! Well, one of them said her oldest kid was forty-something, so she must be sixty or so herself So it really could be for the rest of her life! could indeed--provided she lives out the maximum lifespan and nothing terrible happens "wow, I can't BELIEVE this restaurant won't let me bring my pet monkey" How dare those diners not want Ebola Reston? An animal psychic. He's eating plastic. I would say go to a vet but honestly I would not expect most vets to deal with exotics. not to mention, how the fuck do you EXPLAIN that you're raising a monkey like a human baby to a strange vet Oh, dear Unicron. ...I think the goy was actually an orang; they don't have tails Actually I have to wonder if they'd try taking them to a doctor-for-humans instead do you... do think doctors have procedure for that? I bet some do I don't like the way the narrator is encouraging this.' The narrator sounds disapproving to me so, the way this tone is set, it equally feels like it could be a horror movie or a feel good movie, so I feel there's going to be some horrible twist in the second half. Oh, yes, please. OH BOY I would give them the ticket just for that. I wonder if the camera crew had anything to do with it. Or if that was a recreation thing Right. Give it frosting. Did they take its teeth out? "six real children" yeah, the narrator knows it's a freakshow I feel like there were other ways to deal with that When Impact grows up and moves out, I know I plan to adopt a small, sentient wild animal and ruin its life. I can't help but think you're thinking about someone specific Be sure to take it to restaurants with you and tell everyone it's your kid, too! If they complain about the smell of organic waste, I'll sue. Ewwwww. I'm trying to settle on which is the most disturbing. whyyyy does she sound so unhinged Was this the last letter she sent before she changed her name and started blocking her calls? Oh, well, then! Amazing. "The plan is to load her up on sedatives and nail her feet to the cage." THIS SEEMS DANGEROUSLY UNREGULATED "it also brings her into contact with children" oh, good! know sometimes they'll take their teeth out and I'm 90% sure that's what's happened here. Jeez, that's depressing ewwwwww That's a joke, right? ...Oh god, it's not a joke But they... aren't training her for that? She's *diaper clad.* I demand a monkey attack! They were very vague about the will. Betcha it says "EVERYTHING TO THE MONKEY" They foreshadowed monkey attacks but did not deliver. Ha! This is fine. To the pit with it, I'm playing the other documentary. I've tasted blood and I *need* more. This is a beautiful train wreck and I can't look away. Oh, here we go! WELP Much better! "companion for life" Okay, phrasing Oh my god Ohhh my god. can't afford a monkey baby Haha, no red flags here! "THIS IS FINE" Somebody call CPS By the Allspark, this is amazing. I love Earth so much. Jesus. It's not just humans who pull this shit either, other animals from other species are on record who prefer to raise other species to their own. A LION of all things kept adopting gazelles. Sounds normal and fine for all parties! OH, no :< "they're basically like infants! infants that can climb and that like to bite and claw and that will freak out about your relationships, and that you will never ever be able to fully communicate with" At least these are outside. yeah, THAT'S what's bothering the monkey about this, being teased. I hope these two end up maimed. See that KINDA makes it sound like.... I mean...... His real family's back in that cage. ..... His...has to... Abandoning "Gilded Earth" was a mistake. Callus. HOrror movie violins There's a case of Hepatitis lurking somewhere in this scene. "yet" "oh, yeah, I figure he's gonna maul me someday" Gotta feel sorry for these kids That's a tiny cage, too Jesus This keeps getting worse. ... "In other words, not goddamn cheetos" The vet's face. Everything about this is awful. Really. I mean, is it really. And I don't even like monkeys. The outpost roof doesn't like monkeys. "no matter what I do to them" jesus goddamnit This is a nightmare. Jesus this almost sounds like an ABYSMAL waste of time and money! You think?! Breakdown's asking what I'm laughing at. Show him! Now he's laughing. Oh, sure, don't listen to the vet, who told you explicitly to stop feeding her people food all the time! Just PRAY. Of course you won't, Spaghetti. This is going to end with at least one dead monkey, isn't it? The vet: "okay, just don't feed her pasta" 2 hrs later: SPAGHETTI TIME And ranch! the MONKEY COMMUNITY is UNDER THREAT. what a TRAGEDY I KNOW right? "it's OUR choice to endanger our children by keeping wild animals" "We need to protect our deity given right to kill as many monkeys as we want!" Sealand. Oh, please, please do this. I beg you. Alright, I know what we're closing out on. Oh my god oh, wait, Ihave one more, lemme see if it's on youtube Hahhahahaha Ewwwwww okay,youtube search, malcolm in the middle monkey jesus first clip at the top god Her face it gets better ....... HAH! God WELL God I do believe you demanded monkey attacks, earlier This is everything I dreamed of and more. Well, this was glorious. That was a wild ride And thank you both for joining me on it! Thank YOU for hosting! how could miss that dumpster fire *how could we It was a dumpster fire to be treasured. Good night! Goodnight! good night!

[replicarters]

hellraiser 3 funtime carnival, final

part 1 || part 2

happy easter! let's welcome it with BLOOD

the good thing about last time is that it was very gay. the bad thing about last time is that we've established the villain can and will tear the entirety of people's skin from their bodies, and then consume them as dinner. but this movie is a gay love story now, and god willing, there will be no dead lesbians by the end of it. there will be a lot of other dead people, sure. but hopefully no dead lesbians.

okay joey's girlfriend is officially in the hands of pj or jp or whatever the fuck this total douche's name was.

and he is very, very eager to get her eaten by his new carniverous friend

but before that, we have to jump back to dream vietnam, just the place everybody wants to be.

except now there's someone else here with an Accent and he's all "joeyyyyy wassup girl". oh my gosh who could it be!

tons of soldiers blow up and die and joey wakes up screaming

now let me tell you a movie that scares the bajeezus out of me: it's poltergeist. i don't think this movie will become that so i'll just take this shot at face value.

okay except for that it's like... making scary noises. you remember the episode of x-files where scully heard voices in the tv and unscrewed all her light bulbs? it's those noises, but much more loud and scratchy and unnerving.

motherfucker, get out of there! i'm going to set this television on fire.

he says YOU HAVE TO HELP ME and then goes away again. help you with what? consuming kid cuisines where the chicken nuggets are made out of human thigh meat?

jp is in here DRIVING A WEDGE BETWEEN GAY LOVE talking smack about joey while terri cries. god i hope jp gets eaten at the end i hope it so bad.

oh but wait! terri suddenly exclaims "SHE WOULDN'T" while she sobs, and blames herself for things that haven't even happened. honey :( joey hasn't gone anywhere and she's going to come and save you THIS I BELIEVE.

"come hug me baby, but do it over here next to the statue."

"mmmm come hug me over here"

"no baby hugs are way better next to grotesque works of art~"

oh no and then he says "come to daddy" shlfkhld NO

oh no oh no terri gets up!! no!! i bite my nails that i painstakingly regrew this past week.

AHHH HE'S AWAKE AND HE HUNGERS. at the very last second terri decides she doesn't want to do a hug, but jp grabs her by her very sparkly shirt and pinhead opens wide for another nutritious meal.

then terri breaks out brass fucking knuckles oh hell yeah girl, and she socks jp right in his smug, awful, ugly face

terri runs to the door but pinhead yells WWWAAAAIIITTTT. "why run away~?" he says. you can come live in my stone stomach with all the other people i've eaten. it's cool. it's progressive. it's modern art.

lmao oh my god, then pinhead, ever the hungry man, offers terri the chance to off jp in exchange for ~dreams~.

i mean, she's considering it, and i would too if all i had to do to unlock a world of dreams was toss some loser into a living pincushion's gaping maw.

well, he's a little heavy. where are those convenient chains right about now?

oh, there they are. holy shit, though, terri really went for it.

bye byeeeeeee! i didn't even have to wait until the end of the movie for jp's demise! this is AWESOME.

jp doesn't get eaten so much as he gets, like, giant nails driven through his head or something, and then pinhead yells a lot and the statue gets all crusty with bloooood.

oh and then it... pees? i don't know what's going on, some goop comes out of nowhere and dribbles all over.

ooh, that's... euugh...

gross flesh bombs just... explode from it. just gunk dropping off of it all over the place, smoking piles of gunk. it's icky.

oh that's... that's not good...

"terri. we are going to open the local spirit halloween store together... 6 months early!!!"

poor joey isn't getting any sleep, there's old-timey music coming from somewhere and all the lights are doing weird glows. also this apartment is fucking sweet as hell, how does she live here.

she opens a glowing closet, which, she has balls of steel to be doing that. but i guess if all your shit is glowing in your house at 3 am and you have 40s on 4 playing out of nowhere, you'd probably want to see what was up.

there really was a literal radio just sitting in the closet. so she takes it out and puts it on a table.

she turns some dials on it and then mr. video starts telling her to do stuff, noooooope buddy i need to know your motivations my dude, i need to know what you're all about.

maybe don't follow directions from mr. video/radio/dreamland. he tells her to go to the window which i guess is fine enough? but what's she gonna see out there... nnnn....

okay, this guy's just out here chilling. who are you now???

it's no problem for joey "balls of steel" summerskill, who is going for it. all in, baby! literally all in, her whole body in, to... the... window.

she ends up on the other side of this darksided cs lewis wardrobe intact.

look at this princess serenity dress she wears to bed every night, love it.

"who the fuck are you and why won't you let me sleep"

"hold up... gotta stare at the cube." this guy has the same hairline recession as michael eddington.

"i just walked into madness for you!" that's really what she says and i'm tickled by it. girl knows what fuck is up. it's all insane. least this guy can do is pay attention!

uh oh what's this now, what's this indiana jonesing over here.

joey goes for it, because she's a very brave girl, and now it's vietnam time again.

"joey, how kind of you to come." literally her alternative was watching you stare at the cube. you better start explaining some shit!

well he doesn't start explaining anything, just slinks away behind the ridge. joey follows him, looking at all the nasty soldier corpses.

"you have to help me; i don't understand." ME! i don't get any of this. dump some info on me, mr. video!

"you have to help me," mr. video says. buddy, you better be, like, the misplaced sealant on pinhead, otherwise i'm out.

he takes off his hat and he says his name Was elliot spencer.

AND THEN JOEY INTRODUCES HERSELF AND SHAKES HIS HAND i'm laughing. TOO PURE. "hi dead man who won't leave me alone nice to meet you."

he says she's brave, which is true! and says "you've probably never shaken hands with a ghost before." i mean PROBABLY NOT.

well she says "ummm captain spencer, what the hell is going on???"

"hell is exactly what is going on." ahhhhh. because it's been raised! we hell now.

they set off for a walk, a nice stroll through what spencer the ghost says is the limbo between heaven and hell. he says he can't do squat in the real world, but joey can.

"there is a monster out there, joey, and it's me." eeeeep.

anyway so he's pinhead because war is hell, and he originally opened the box and got mad chainz, yo. stopping him will require "great courage".

joey doesn't know if she has that, but spencer is like, "girl, you just walked through a goddamn solid window to talk to me, you're fine."

the cube is the gateway to hell and pinhead wants it, and spencer says joey has to let him come for it. aw helllllllllll no! eff that, why can't she just drop the cube in a volcano or something?

"but what if he takes the box from me before i can-"

"he can't take it, it must be given to him." oh dear so he's going to try to persuade her to give him the box. PERSUADE HER LIKE HE PERSUADED TERRI TO LET HIM EAT JP? just great. i have large worries.

let's have a little party pitstop.

my favorite baby is here, and it sTARTS MOVING AHHHHHHHHHHH HELL N O

OH GOD EVERYTHING IS MOVING

and then there's an explosion

and H E  C O M E S

everybody goes screaming and running and chains start flying. a guy gets his hand cut and his palm spurts blood LIKE A FOUNTAIN just like i've been expecting this whole time. another guy gets a stick of wood through him.

this girl's drink comes to life and also she's still sitting at a table while the entire place is in a full-on panic.

the bubble becomes a pinhead head, which then becomes a huge dagger of ice that impales the girl in the mouth. i don't know, i'm laughing at that one. let this be a lesson to us all: if, while in a club, madness begins all around you, just run. leave your $12 drink. it's not worth it.

the sleazy bartender gets barb wired. a girl gets her face torn. pinhead cackles in the background.

here's my thing: how is joey going to fight all this shit? SHE'S JUST ONE PERSON and pinhead can do all this?! man... i have concerns...!

more killing! you know what's going to happen to the dj, don't you?

weeeeeeee! maiming!

pinhead starts locking doors. people start getting chains to their faces. and their necks. and through them, while other people get them through their faces behind them. just all-around a delight for everyone.

there's one last door that's not shut, but do you really think it's going to stay open?

NOPE! you're in pinhead's funhouse now!

and as the whipping of the chains grows louder, and the screaming dies down, blood flows out under the door.

literally. how is joey going to win this thing.

no sleep for joey as she wakes up, again, to news reports of a "catastrophe" at the boiler room. that sure is one way to put it. joey, poor sweet innocent brave joey, gets her ass dressed and calls grandpa cameraman.

oh boy. it's time. it's time for joey to bring the pain to a very bad man, armed with nothing but that box against his MYRIAD OF SPOOKY POWERS. I HAVE EXTREME CONCERNS! that's all i'm saying!

mmmmmm and the tv was unplugged the whole time. CONCERNS RATCHETING UP A FEW MORE LEVELS.

it's raining, it's pouring, that door up there's fuckin opening on its own. grandpa's car was outside but grandpa was not in the car oh god he is almost certainly mutilated by now.

and we got some folks HANGING AROUND............................

yeah there's bodies everywhere and joey's scared out of her mind. PROTECT THIS POOR BABY.

joey holds onto the cube for dear life, because SOME GHOST thought it was a GOOD IDEA to send a 27 year old mortal human in to fight a needle-faced hell man with NOTHING MORE THAN A BOX.

it's gross, she's crying, there are just... so many bodies. she's looking around trying to find grandpa, growing increasingly more distraught as she sees, you know, severed heads and stuff. lmao and there's one guy with about 15 billiard balls stuffed into his dead maw, which i found pretty comical.

welp joey, who is absolutely going to have nightmares for the rest of her living days, just screams out for grandpa, but i think she and i both know he's not going to answer. oh, grandpa, what horrible thing has happened to you?

joey goes farther in and some lights come on

another doorway beckons

and inside, it's like a banquet hall of... terribleness. i don't have any words left to describe all this, my goodness. and joey's still crying. i don't blame her. she came all the way the fuck in here instead of getting on the first plane to the other side of the world like i definitely would have, she deserves to let some tears out.

oh, and grandpa?

is very dead, with his head replaced by a camera.

ohhhhh everything is beyond misery

pinhead appears, waxing poetic, blah blah death and stuff. suffering. humanity's darkness, whatever.

TAKE HIM DOWN, GIRL. SEAL HIM UP.

"mmmm gimme my box kiddo"

naw she's not here for that, so pinhead starts yelling "DON'T DEBATE WITH ME, GIRL. JUST COME HERE AND DIE WHILE YOU STILL HAVE THE OPTION OF DOING IT QUICKLY."

"you're gonna have to come and get me, you ugly fuck." OHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

IT BEGINS

now with the knowledge that pinhead really can't touch that box unless he's given the box, joey takes off and almost gets run over by a cab outside.

cab hits a pole instead but listen, bud, your sacrifice is duly noted. hell's getting stopped tonight, bro! if you live, you'll get to see it!

then the pole falls over, knocks out all sorts of shit, and the cab lights on fire.

uh oh pinhead's doing pinhead stuff. WILL THE CUBE PROTECT AGAINST ELECTROCUTION?

oh my good god then pinhead sets off a fire hydrant and once the water is everywhere, where do you think he puts these nice cables?  C O N C E R N S

pinhead's impromptu death river comes barrelling down the street, but joey gets up on the sidewalk and the water sluices harmlessly by. phew.

except for now chains are coming out of the sewer. nnnnggggaaaahhhhh!! they do get her a little bit! me scream!

more stuff blows up! i'm very tense! joey keeps running. the sewer's blowing up, every electric thing is blowing up, THE MANHOLE LID comes spinning at joey's face but she dodges it. everywhere, EVERY LITERAL PLACE SHE GOES, stuff blows up and is on fire.

"what the fuuuuuuck where's the part where i get to go home and live a peaceful life"

"a peaceful life where all my friends are dead, and this place is fucked." hey... hey where's terri...? did... did she died...?

eeeep you're on pinhead camera! KEEP RUNNING

OH NO it's grandpa, and he's a weird camera borg now :(

oh joey honey i love you sweet girl please hang in there

"HAVE YOU SEEN WHAT HE DID TO ME, YOU LITTLE BITCH," not grandpa anymore roars. "HAVE YOU SEEN?"

then all the tvs blow up

then some guy???? who is just walking around out here????? joey runs into him and screams at him to run, but he's all, "hey baby where you going? everything's cool." oh YEAH, EVERYTHING'S REAL COOL.

so that guy dies when borg grandpa spears his eye camera through his head.

here comes pinhead, slinking out of the shadows.

just in case you forgot, this is the general state of things. not great. could be better.

oh there's more dead borg corpses walking around, too. that's a different one over there; it's cd head from the club.

L E T ' S   J A M   T O    T   S W I F T

when is enough enough, pinhead?!

it's never enough. guess what walks out of that explosion, it's another borg corpse.

whoaaaa and this one spits fire. SURELY PINHEAD HAS PROVEN HIS POINT BY NOW.

then the cops roll in, and joey again implores them to just fucking run. they don't.

one of the cops gets gasoline on him, and if you might recall (joey does), one of the dead borgs breathes fire.

joey wisely does not stick around for this, leaving the cops to their piping hot demise.

what now? now joey ducks into a church and just collapses. same.

you better be a priest, sir.

"father there's an awful lot of sinning going on outside, my only friend is a killer zombie, and new york is in general aflame."

this idiot priest tries to tell joey demons aren't real. haha! dude! you've missed several updates.

several. updates.

there he is, the man himself.

and then, oh my god, lol:

"then what the fuck is That." shdfklshlkfhs

leeeet's go if you don't want to die!

hey if you thought stuff was done exploding, you were wrong.

come on, that is ripe for becoming a deadly projectile.

or a melty mush. ooh, but a molten one. eugh, it couldn't just melt to melt, huh? had to be a scorching melt.

rarrrrgh i hate sunday school!

then listen, pinhead stands at the altar, ready to perform his own sacraments, which involve pulling a slug out of his head? and then putting the slug into his other hand (he's losing me here), then all the candles in the church start blowing up, then he pulls out another slug, puts that slug into the first hand, and then a wall starts cracking...

look, if i understood it, i'd let you know.

the rite of slug is now complete. whatever windows remained are, you guessed it, blown to kingdom come. then the altar crumbles, and for some reason, the priest thinks he's going to be a hero. no. wrong. pinhead pulls out slug number three, i think, i couldn't really tell. i think that's the only thing i could have been was another slug.

joey's over here rubiks cubing. there's not a great deal of time left in the movie, so, everybody cross your fingers some evil about to get sealed.

oh ew i think what pinhead pulled out was a flesh glob, and then he stuck it in the priests mouth, huge ick.

but joey gets the cube to go blue.

WHAT'S -UP- MOTHERFUCKER

joey taunts pinhead with the cube and bolts again. she makes it to the best place to be in the middle of a hell siege, which is a construction site. yes.

she immediately hears shit creaking around, because this will never be easy.

ohhhh good, it's more happy friends.

oh no no no and one of them... one of them...

IS TERRI!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO MY BEAUTIFUL LESBIAN LOVE STORY ;________; also note terri's direct line of smokes now.

"i can dream now, joey..." auuuuugh this wasn't the dream i wanted!

"terri..." her voice is so tiny and weak and defeated. i hate this, i hate this, HER ONLY OTHER FRIEND IN THIS WHOLE WORLD AND SHE'S A ZOMB.

well she tries to mess with the cube some more but borg jp and borg terri circle around her, beating her up. :(

and guess who arrives atop the hill, and threatens joey with "dark decades" of pain. oh golly.

more zombos come in.

"ahhh, more friends, come to play with you, joey."

"PLAY WITH THIS, PINHEAD"

joey gets the cube to go blue but this time...

it starts opening up!!

it starts autobotting and the zombos are looking at pinhead like, uh, dad? what do we do/???

then the cube starts shooting out blue stuff and ghostbustering all the zombos into it. they all scream and cry about it but there's nothing to be done, battle over, cube wins, that's it. pinhead tries to resist but he goes in, too... i... i think... we don't actually... see him...... go in.............

is that it? can joey go home now? this poor girl has been through An Ordeal.

joey tries to ask good ol ghosty if that's it. hello? is he there? don't flake out on us now, pal.

oh, what... is this now. wasn't that just dirt on the ground two seconds ago?

oh okay we're... here now, i guess.

look everybody, it's joey's dead dad.

so joey saved the world and gets to hug her dad, that's a pretty good reward. it's not going to bring back the scores of dead people, but this is okay.

wait

WAIT

WAAAAITT OH GOD WHAT THE HELL

"joey, they said you'd have something for me. something you won't need anymore." OH MY GOD STOP I'M HOLLERIN

"this? oh here, take it!" HONEY NO. JOEY NO. OH MY GOD

oh my god my entire soul is fleeing my physical form

I'M GONNA FRIGGIN FALL OVER AND DIE

well what the shit happens now

"save your tears. i'll reap your soul slowly."

then i legit don't know what the hell happens next, joey thinks about the window, and then all of a sudden...

...we're there? past the window?

"couldn't resist playing games, could you?" ah our old chap there he finally is

"you had to come through the window of her mind" okay say whatttttt. the window was in joey's mind all along? well that's kind of stupid if you ask me.

uh oh oh no oh dear it's time for chains. this is not the kind of kinky shit i am after let's not go down this road. cries and watches this through my hands.

oh no oh geez. pinhead stop i can't... do this... do not talk about pleasures right now... while this is... oh lord this is too weird

what... in the seven hells... is that. pinhead and ghostie take their sweet time watching each other while this THING rises up toward joey.

no. no fuckin way. i'm done. there's like three minutes left and i'm ready to leave.

bro. you're way too calm about this.

"you're right," he says to pinhead. "we do belong together."

and he reaches out and gets pinhead to drop the box. all right noW DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT BACKGROUND HELLSPAWN

okay hellspawn and all the chains and weird things disappear, and then ghostie and pinhead fight, i guess.

me irl: "uhhhhh ok"

ah now they're a... tangled flesh monstrosity.

sure seems like... pinhead absorbed ol ghostie, though. that's not... great.

oh but... maybe it didn't go so hot for pinhead after all?

ghostie's head pops up and says "JOEY. SEND ME TO HELL." oh god please do. right now.

joey/cube otp

she messes with it a bunch while pinhead stalks closer, yipes!

now it's swiss army knifing. that's not what we need right now we need the other thing! the blue!

all right just kidding she gets it to be a dagger and stabs him good.

yeeeeowch! my pancreas!

yeah see ya. finally, once and for all, i think he's outta here.

ah, and there's the cube

NOW can joey finally go home? live in peace? all that good stuff? please leave her alone for the rest of time.

man stick that thing in some cement where it belongs, then throw it in the bottom of the atlantic.

look, cement! really get it in there deep. it doesn't really seem that deep. there were like nine more hellraisers after this so i'm thinking the cube makes its way out of the cement.

oh my sweet girl, go home and never think about any of this again. get some rest. get a therapist. stay far away from any and all ugly statues the rest of your life. you got a transport to space to catch; you don't got time to be running around down here!

joey goes home.

but there's one last thing.

that building they built on that construction site has some familiar designage.

THE END!!!!!! no seriously that's it. pinhead is the whole building?!!?!?!? NUKE IT.

ughhhhhh rubs my hands over my face so much for not having nightmares. thought i'd be free when i finally finished, but i think i am more unsettled than ever. really good! exactly what i wanted! man, what the fuck happens to joey now? she goes home and has ptsd for the rest of her life? somebody write me that fanfic. just kidding, don't, i don't want to think about it. only a happy life for joey now. no more hell raising for her. hope she moves to monterey and forgets all her troubles. maybe gets a nice girlfriend, settles down, never has a nightmare again.

oof. i gotta... do a juice cleanse or something. 2 spook. and jake is exactly right, i should never ever watch the rest of these movies, not ever in my life.

hey jake? you there, bud?

hold me ;_;

[fearofaherobrine]

Roleplay Server Log #164

“Gem kills Ej, Splender’s Splendid Dragon”

[Yaunfen] Runs over to Hera and squeaks-

[Herabrine] Does a double take - What on earth...? Hey Lj, did you lose a pet around here?

[LJ] - Not mine

[Herabrine] Kneels down- Hey little dragon, are you lost?

[Yaunfen] Looks at Doc and squeaks-

[TLOT] That dragon is Doc and Deerhearts... baby

[Herabrine] What the fuck?!?

[TLOT] Urgent mental whisper- Adopted!

[Yaunfen] Rolls onto it's back-

[Herabrine] Okay... -goes for the belly rub-

[Yaunfen] Trills-

[gem] -is checking on aqua and is standing in the kiddie pool with him-

[Aqua] Swims happy circles around Gem-

[Notch] I bet Aqua was the only one not affected...

[gem] I wasn't. I don't have lungs.

[Notch] That's... odd... Oh right, no air in space. Duh.

[CP] - One of us should probably check on BEN

[TLOT] Are you volunteering Cp? I kinda want to smack the shit out of him still.

[CP] - Oh fuck no

[Notch] I don't know him that well....

[Steve] Not it!

[gem] I could get one of my guardians too but they might be pissed because he tried to stab me

[CP] - Well you did grab him...

[TLOT] Dammit... I hope Splender comes back soon.

[gem] I was trying to get him to stop drowning tlot

[CP] - If your terrified of drowning and feel something pull you by the foot, what do you think you're going to feel?

[gem] I was keeping his head out of the water with my wings

[CP] - That doesn't help, not with his mentality

[EJ] Approaches- Hm, thought I heard BEN screeching...

[gem] you did.

[TLOT] Yeah, Gem tried to dunk him and he freaked out.

[EJ] - Why would you do that?  Stupid

[gem] did not I was just pulling him away from you

[TLOT] Sighs - Either way, I'm going to go check on him. Doc's in no shape to do it.

[EJ] Scoffs- Have fun finding him, once he's gotten wet he's near impossible to find

[TLOT] Doc killed him. He'll be at home, I doubt the last place he slept wasn't with Aven.

[EJ] - Eh, whatever, I'm going to see Jewel

[Steve] Did you leave Sally alone?

[EJ] - She's fine, she's napping, I'll be back before she wakes up

[TLOT] Steve, he may try to attack me. You stay here.

[Steve] Okay.

[gem] -makes sure aqua was out of the way then falls back to make a big splash in the kiddie pool drenching anyone nearby-

[EJ] Scowls under his mask as he gets splashed- HEY!  Fucking watch it!

[gem] -is giggling- whoops it looks like I got the dry people wet

[Notch] Gets splashed and leaps back with a small shriek at the cold water. - Shit!

[EJ] Growls- You fucking bitch!

[gem] -turns serious- what did you call me

[EJ] - A bitch!

[Notch] Creeps over to Cp and stands quietly near him.

[gem] -she stands up and her wings stretch out in an intimating nature as her mouth starts to open- I am no bitch

[CP] Gives Notch a questioning glance-

[EJ] - You think that's threatening?  Please, I see more horrific things on a near daily basis!

[Notch] Takes his shirt off and wrings it out. - His thoughts are plain. Cp's warm and he is cold.

[CP] - Oh for fucks sake...

[gem] you want to see threating -she takes off her bracelets as her mouth opens fully her eyes turn a mix of purple and red her and as the mist grows and touches the ground it seems to burn it like a laser- I will make you eat your words when you hit respawn.

[Steve] Ushers Stevie closer to Cp and quick walks over to Doc.

[Herabrine] Elbows Lj lightly, - someone got up on the wrong side of the bed.

[EJ] - That's still nothing bitch!

[LJ] Laughs- Oh this should be entertaining

[gem] -tackles ej using all her limbs to restrain him-

[EJ] Quickly slips his mask off and snaps at her with his teeth-

[gem] -is trying to get a hold of ej's skull in her mouth with out him biting her-

[EJ] Get's a grasp on her and digs his nails in as well-

[Steve] Gets near Deerheart and makes himself small against her side.

[Notch] Steps behind Cp, just in case.

[gem] -the laser mist starts to burn his hands as she tries harder to get his skull-

[EJ] Grunts in annoyance at the pain-

[gem] -uses her wings to fly up and do strange patters to try and make ej dizzy to try disorient him-

[EJ] Pulls himself closer and bites at anything he can-

[gem] -ej gems her shoulder which starts to bleed but she goes right for the head-

[EJ] Breath hitches as teeth scrape against him-

[gem] -the teeth are like needles but are strong and sturdy as they start to bore into his head as gem adds more and more pressure-

[EJ] Shouts out in surprised pain-

[CP] Makes sure Stevie is okay and decides to just ignore Notch-

[gem] -the pressure start to get harder are a crunch is heard the skull is breaking-

[EJ struggled toget out of Gem's grasp-

[Herabrine] Uh, considering that Doc is passed out, maybe don't go too far Gem? I mean it's something alltogether if you two just want to punch the shit out of eachother.

[gem] -snaps closed and a large chunk of ej's head is now in her mouth-

[Steve] Squeak of fear-

[Notch] Looks away and makes a faint hurking noise.

[Stevie] Whimpers and hides his face against CP-

[Herabrine] Man.... that's gotta hurt.

[gem] -lets go of ej and the chuck of head to let them sink into the ocean-

[EJ] Collapses before hitting respswn-

[gem] -gets he blood off her as her mouth closes then puts back on her bracelets as she returns to normal-

[Herabrine] Enjoy your temper-tantrum? You must not spend much time around creepypastas if you react like that to a little name-calling. Most of them give out insults like Sweet Alex does hugs.

[gem] aven and ben are the only ones I do often and they don't do that. -flies back down-

[Herabrine] Yeah cause they're usually too busy loving on each other and playing with the baby to start shit.

[gem] very true but aven never resorted to that.

[Herabrine] Avens only half creepypasta and she never lived in the manor with the Slenders either.

[gem] true but the ben that is in her did.

[CP] - But not the same group of pasta's ours did idiot

[gem] no duh cp but they are still a slender

[CP] - But not the same one!

[Herabrine] Don't pick a fight with old sourpuss too, he'll have a touchie in his bonnet for days

[CP] Flips Hera off-

[Herabrine] Ppppppppth!

[CP] - I'm sure Lie would become very worried about who you seem to be hanging out with...

[Herabrine] Who? Me? Why I'm being helpful.

[CP] - But she doesn't know that

[Herabrine] Oh, you gonna go tattle on me Cp? Try to get rid of your wife's friend? That's super low.

[CP] - I'm not saying that at all, in fact I'm doing you a favor by not telling her.  She saw all the dead children and I've felt her emotions towards LJ, she would become worried sick about you what with you hanging out with him

[Herabrine] She forgave all the people you murdered, why would this be different? He was under the same compulsion to maim and kill as you were, and for much longer too.

[CP] - It's her nature to worry

[Herabrine] Don't be a weenie, he's been nothing but polite to me, almost old-fashioned really. You should see how much we've gotten done fixing the old circus up. Lie can forgive. And if she can't... -smiles slyly - then there's even less of a chance she'd ever want to move into Slenders house where her and I can't hang out together anymore.

[CP] Is just glaring-

[Herabrine] Looks quite pleased with herself.

[Stevie] Tugs on CP's pants- Brother, I don't wanna go back in the water...  That hurt...

[Notch] It hurt because of what BEN did.

[Stevie] - But it really really hurt!

[Notch] It hurt me too, everyone here felt it.

[Endrea] Isn't sure what to do with the babies at the moment, they're all crying in pain from having water inside them until she gets an idea.  She shifts to her human form and pulls out Ashe's healing pills-

[Stevie] In a small voice- Can we go work on the blanket fort now?

[Notch] Yes, we can.

[Stevie] Takes Notch's hand-

[Notch] Starts walking back to Lie's house.

[Steve] Is still snuggled against Deerheart - well that was harrowing....

[Deer] - Indeed...  Is Yaunfen okay?  You're closer to hir than I am

[Steve] Seems a bit agitated since Doc is passed out, but that's all.

[Deer] - Good

[TLOT] Knocks on the treehouse door - BEN? Are you in there?

[BEN] Whimpers and crawls under the bed-

[TLOT] Hear the whimper and comes in quietly. - I'm not mad, I just want to talk.

[BEN] Growls at TLOT-

[TLOT] Gem grabbed you because you were hurting me, and specifically because you hurt the little ones. The baby dragons can't handle any kind of water, it burns them.

[BEN] - I was going to drown!

[TLOT] Do you really think I would let that happen?

[BEN] - Whines

[TLOT] I was just going to clean you up and let you out. Honest.

[BEN] - No water

[TLOT] sighs- fine. lava only for you. But the baby still needs to be washed. BEN... it's already clear Hyrule is going to be a swimmer. You can't hold him back just because you have a phobia.

[BEN] - Watch me

[TLOT] You'll confuse him. Make him sad. Do you really want that?

[BEN] - I won't let him drown

[TLOT] He won't, he'll be fine. I'm sure Herabrine would be willing to watch over him from below if you asked her nicely.

[BEN] Growls-

[TLOT] Look, I'm not gonna fight you over this now, it's pointless. Because he's still a baby, but before you know it, you'll have to let him be a kid. I'm sorry, but that's how it is.

[BEN] - He'll have a childhood...  But no water

[TLOT] Shakes his head sadly - we'll see...

[BEN] Hisses-

[TLOT] I'm sorry as well BEN, I thought you trusted me not to hurt you.

[BEN] - It's just too painful...

[TLOT] What is... trusting people? Or being wet?

[BEN] - Drowning...

[TLOT] Oh... I know. It hurts terribly when you try to do it to me.  Ironic that you inflict your own worst fear on other people.

[BEN] - I don't care...

[TLOT] I suspected as much. Doc seems to be much better at making friends then I am.

[BEN] His thoughts are circling through his moments before dying and the pain again-

[TLOT] Decides to inturrupt BENs thoughts by giving him one of his own memories. It's him looking down on Hyrules happy face as he splashes around in his shallow bath.

[BEN] His breath hitches as a slight panic reaches him.  He scrambles out from under the bed to check on Hyrule-

[TLOT] Doesn't get in his way.

[BEN] Carefully cradles his sleeping child, making sure he's safe-

[TLOT] He's happy and safe. I wasn't trying to panic you. It's just the most recent memory I have of him being content.

[BEN] - But there's water...  And...  And...  He could drown...

[TLOT] The world is full of dangers, are you going to keep him in a little box so he'll never get hurt? He'd grow to hate you for it.

[BEN] - I will teach him how to fight and defend...  But just, no water-  BEN's voice is almost pleading

[TLOT] Of course you'll teach him, that's a given. But you have to let him have the water if he wants it. Don't give your fears to an innocent child. There are enough things to be afraid of as it is.

[BEN] - I...  I just can't...

[TLOT] You might feel differently later. Just let it be for now.

[BEN] Gently puts Hyrule back in his crib-

[TLOT] quietly- I'm always around if you need to talk.

[BEN] - I just...  The memories won't stop...

[TLOT] I'd wipe them for you if I could, but it would wipe everything else as well. You'd have no memories at all. I don't have the power to do it selectively. You just have to block them out with something better.

[BEN] Spawns his actual game cartridge- If it weren't for this cartridge...  I'd be dead...  Like dead dead....  But I also wouldn't relive the memory of drowning everytime I see water...

[TLOT] Sometimes the terrible things that happen to us make us who we are. Aren't you happy at least for Aven's love? And that she's given you a beautiful, healthy son? You're the first of the creepypastas to concieve a child too. How special is that? None of that could have come to pass without your game.

[BEN] - I know all that...  But it's still hard not to think about all the what if's...

[TLOT] The only what if, would be if you had simply died, surely that's not what you wanted, is it?

[BEN] - Not now at least

[TLOT] Then just focus on the now, as much as you can. I'm not sure what else to tell you. Apart from this... I've had some terrible things happen to me as well, and Steve's love makes them fade with every passing day. I can't be sad with so much happiness so close to hand. And I think when Hyrule is up and around, laughing and playing, it will be much the same.

[BEN] Sighs heavily and bows his head-

[TLOT] Is there anything I can do for you BEN?

[BEN] - Just...  No water...  Please

[TLOT] How about a cake? That's nice and dry. - Offers him a rather normal Minecraft cake.

[BEN] Looks at it with some confusion- A...  Cake?

[TLOT] Yeah, why not? - He plunks it down on a table. - I'm a self-indulgent brine. I usually have sweets in my inventory.

[BEN] - O...kay?

[TLOT] For what it's worth, I was only trying to help you face your fears today. No hard feelings, okay?

[BEN] - Whatever...-  He's still a bit shaky

[TLOT] You know... I feel nearly the same way about the Nether that you do about water. I get lost in the memories of... when I was tortured... trapped there... I can't go there without locking up. My powers malfunction and literally root my feet to the ground. I do understand.

[BEN] - Then why would you put me through it if you know the feeling?

[TLOT] Because I'll have to face my fears someday too. A brine who can't face the Nether? Cp gives me hell about it sometimes, I know he doesn't respect me. Probably the other brines would feel the same if they knew.

[BEN] - Has he literally tried pinning your head to a wall with his weapons?  Or does he mostly just yell at you?

[TLOT] He tried to fight me once, I beat him quite easily. Mostly he just insults me any rude way he can think of.

[BEN] - Then you have more of his respect than you realize

[TLOT] Even though it's obvious my relationship with Steve disgusts him?

[BEN] - It's not so much that, it's just the Offender made all of us very jumpy and wary about anything to do with butts...  But it also made good battle tactic, never turn your back until you know they're dead

[TLOT] Ah, it makes me kinda sad that that was ruined so throughly for you guys. Love is love. It doesn't have to be a hurtful thing.

[BEN] - Yeah no, not letting anything happen to my butt

[TLOT] Not offering. I'm faithful to my mate. But I'm always handy for information if people want it.

[BEN] Hisses a little-

[TLOT] What? It's the one thing I'm really good at. Can you blame me for liking to talk shop? It's like asking Doc about surgery techniques.

[BEN] - I've heard EJ's...  As he was working on me

[TLOT] Yeah... I've heard he didn't offer you guys much in the way of anesthetics. Harsh.

[BEN] - Only because they don't work on us

[TLOT] Oh. That sucks. Well at least, things are easier here and Doc's potions don't taste bad. I can't understand why Cp's taste like cat piss. They're using the same stuff.

[BEN] - I prefer my chu jelly

[TLOT] Chu? What's it made out of?

[BEN] - Chu's...

[TLOT] Do I even want to know what a chu is?

[BEN] - A gelatinous living worm, different colors do different things

[TLOT] Makes a face. - Yeah, no. That's gross. I think I'll stick to using lava.

[BEN] Shrugs- Or we use fairies

[TLOT] You squish fairies into jelly?!

[BEN] - Nope, keep them in bottles, if I lose all my hearts they'll revive me

[TLOT] Sucks for them, but useful enough. Wait... then why did you die when your food bar ran out that one time? Do you have to have them out or something?

[BEN] - Er, well, food isn't exactly a thing in my game...  So I don't think the fairies realized what was happening...

[TLOT] You can't eat? Ah, well... I guess it's not a survival game. I presume you don't sleep either?

[BEN] - Nope

[TLOT] Maybe you should give Hyrule one of your fairies. He has an inventory you know. It's only two slots but it's there.

[BEN] - One of the healing ones?

[TLOT] Sure. Why not? It would be one less thing for you to fret about.

[BEN] Considers it-

-There is a tearing sound as an opening is made over by the bar and Splender stumbles through holding something close to his chest-

[Herabrine] Hey it's Splendy! Whatcha got there?

[Splender] - A baby!- He's holding what looks like a poofed up ball of feathers

[LJ] - Splendy, we've had this conversation before, you cannot keep babies that you find

[Herabrine] What's with all the babies lately?

[Steve] That looks like a bird.

[Splender] Shuts the opening behind him and comes closer- It's not human this time though!

[gem] what kind of creature is it?

[Steve] I would hope not with all the feathers.

-From the bundle of feathers a little v shaped head pokes out and squeaks.  It's scales are pink and there's a rainbow of other colors amongst the feathers-

[Steve] Aww. It's so cute!

[Herabrine] What's the catch?

[gem] -flies up closer- it's super cute.

Lie

[Splender] - It's the cutest thing ever!

[Herabrine] Flies up to get a good look but doesn't try to touch it. - They have griefer eyes... I've seen that look before.

[Splender] - What do you mean?  It's too adorable to be mean!

[Herabrine] I'm reserving judgment. I could say the same thing about you, but I've seen the pastas shudder thinking about you being actually angry.

[Splender] Makes a sad expression-

[Endrea] Leans over to sniff at the baby-

[Herabrine] Hey, it's okay. Everybody loses their tempers sometimes. Freaking Gem just bit Ej's head off for calling her a rude name. I sure as hell didn't see that coming at all.

[Splender] - WHAT!?  Oh dear oh dear oh dear- Isn't sure what to do now

[Steve] He went through respawn... Normally Doc would be the one to go check on him, but they're kinda out cold.

[SPlender] - I NEED TO GO CHECK ON HIM!  BUT BABY!

[Steve] I can have my hubby go do it, he was headed back this way anyhow, I can feel him out near Lie's horse pen.

[Splender] Makes whining noise-

[Deer] Nudges Doc some more- Come on love, time to wake up

[Doc] Mumbles and lets out a small whine - I'm still stiff...

[Deer] - Nothing a massage later wont fix, but perhaps you'd like to meet the newest arrival first?

[Doc] Arrival? You let someone in? - Opens hir eyes. - Wha?

[Deer] - Splender came back, and I think their egg hatched

[Deer] - Should I get CP to give you a charge?

[Doc] Woo! That's great...! - Hir head shoots up a bit too fast and xe wobbles dizzily for a moment.

[Doc] That would be nice....

[Deer] - Looks over at CP- CP...  Would you be so kind as to shock Doc?

[CP] - Why?

[Deer] - Please?

[CP] Grumbles- Fine- He gathers his own charge an launches a ball of lightning at Doc

[Doc] Turns in time to take it in the mouth and shivers as xe swallows it. There's a moment of silence and then Doc is up and nearly vibrating in place. - THATSTHESHITTHANKSCP

[CP] - Fuck you Doc

[Doc] Rears onto hir stubby back legs and leans way over to smootch Cp on the top of his head before thumping back down -

[CP] Flips Doc off-

-The rainbow ball of feathers hisses at Endrea-

[Endrea] Snorts in amusement-

[Doc] Checks on Deerheart and Yaunfen-

[gem] -flies around doing tricks-

[Yaunfen] Is rolling around in the grass-

[Steve] Is watching Gem -

[Doc] Hey Splender, did you see my egg hatched too? This is Yaunfen.

[gem] -flies around steve-

[Splender] - It's made of candy!

[Doc] It's the one from the candy-themed seed. I think it's a kind of camoflage.

[Splender] Holds his out for Doc to see better- Mines all rainbowish like the egg!

[Steve] Did you see Gems little Aqua, Splender? I can't remember.

[Doc] Aww, such pretty plumage!

[Splender] - No, I don't think so- He looks in the little pool-

-The little dragon growls at Doc-

[Steve] It's the one from the seed with all the ender-mermaids

[Splender] - It's so cool!

[gem] -flies over the pond and boops aqua's nose as she passes-

[Aqua] Trills-

[Doc] I think this one is gonna be extra sassy Splender. You gotta tell me though, did your brothers see it after it hatched? Or did you come straight here? I can only imagine Slenders face, or lack thereof.

[Splender] - It hatched while I was helping brother make dinner, so of course he saw it!

[Doc] Oh dear! - chuckles-

[Steve] Splender wanted to check on Ej....

[Doc] sighs- should I go get him?

[Splender] - Oh no!  I can go to him, I jut need to know where he is and what to do with the baby

[Doc] He's wherever he slept last, which means one of two or three rooms in the castle. Your trunks are hard to reach so he's been staying with me while you were out.

[Splender] - Oh...  I forgot about that...

[Steve] I wonder if it likes void energy? Yaunfen got all antsy and didn't want anything to do with it.

[Steve] shyly -  I gave Ej some recipies to help with his new diet.

[Endrea] - I can offer- She opens her mouth and lets a slow trickle out

-The baby hisses and growls at it at first before batting at it with a paw which had been tucked under a wing and licking it off it's paw-

[Splender] - Oh good, and how's he doing with that?

[Steve] He told me to go fuck myself, but I understand... He's just mad.

[Doc] I gave him plenty of copied organs. I want to help him cook, but he's still furious at me too.

[LJ] - Ah, EJ's always mad if others touch his food

[Herabrine] Picky picky, like trying to feed anything to Cp. It's near impossible....

[CP] - Hey!

[Doc] How many times have I glitched food into you because you wouldn't eat?

[CP] - You shut the fuck up

[Doc] Makes a playful pouty face at him.

[CP] Scowls-

[Splender] Loks at the baby- OH NO!  I FORGOT TO NAME HIM!

[gem] -giggles at cp's antics as she passes him in the air-

[Steve] Is it a boy? It's hard to tell when they're small.

[Splender] - Ummm, I'm not sure...  I don't know how to tell...

[Doc] Then go for something that will be okay either way.

[Splender] - Ummmm...

[CP] - And so the wait begins...

[LJ] Snickers-

[Doc] It's okay to take your time on important decisions.

[CP] - He may be at this for several weeks Doc

[Doc] Oh.... I'll just... go fetch Ej then... Deerheart can you watch Yaunfen for a moment? Ej might attack me, and I want them to be safe.

[gem] -remembers she has balloons and puts one in the kiddie pool to see how aqua will react-

[Aqua] Swims around it at first before cautiously poking it-

[Steve] If they pop it, it will be a big suprise....

[Deer] - Of course love

[Doc] scampers down the road - be right back!

[Splender] Sits down to think of a name-

[Doc] Comes running back with Ej, holding him by his hoodie like the scruff of a kitten. Xe drops him in front of Splender and thumps hir tail on the ground like an excited dog to try and make him laugh.

[Splender] Rocks backwards with laughter briefly before becoming serious and starts checking EJ over- Honestly EJ, why did you go and start another fight?

[Herabrine] I think it was one of those things where both parties were equally at fault....

[Doc] Goes back over to sit by hir mate and baby again, hir chest stuck out proudly.

-The baby in Splender's hands suddenly bites him, hard-

[Splender] - OW!

[Doc] Whoah! Do they have teeth already?

[Splender] - Maybe?

[gem] tough baby

[Endrea] - Ender dragons normally don't have teeth at all...

[Doc] Can I see Splender? The wound that is?

[Splender] - Oh, sure- He holds his hand out and there are two distinct little puncture wounds

[Doc] Fangs? That's different... Splender? Do you feel okay? I hope they aren't venomous

[Splender] - I feel fine!  THen again, poisons and such have no real affect n us slender beings...

[Herabrine] Sounds like a very good thing if they're so quick to bite

[EJ] - If it's venomous you should be able to tell by opening it's mouth, that's what usually gets animals to release their venom

[Doc] I know Zeke knows how to milk a venomous snake. We had a very interesting discussion about reptiles the other day. It might be worth a shot to try later on

-The baby dragon hisses again-

[Herabrine] Coos at it- that's right! You're tough as nails aren't you?

-It extends it's neck in an attempt to strike Hera-

[Herabrine] Floats back a bit to stay out of reach- little bad-ass floof

[Doc] It took the void energy so chances are good they have the water allergy too. Make sure and keep them away from liquids just in case

[Splender] - Awww, so no splashy bath times?

[Doc] not until we're sure, unless. Endrea? Is there any way to test for the allergy without hurting the baby?

[Endrea] - Shakes her head- No, not really

[Doc] Damn, so dry it is. It's okay, it's normal for minecraft dragons, I guess because they'd be too Op otherwise. as far as I know only Gk, Aqua and Yaunfen don't have it. And I'm not counting me and Deerheart since we're technically artificial

[CP] - Oi, am I still needed here or no?  Because I still have a fuck ton of paperwork to do...

[Steve] Stifles a snicker-

[CP] Glares at Steve-

[Doc] Ah you're always needed Cp, we like having you around

[CP] Growls-

[Doc] Ah and Splender, Ej is just fine as well, no need to worry. The respawn here is as flawless as the server itself. - gives Deerheart a little kiss

[Splender] - Good, brother is almost completely well again so soon he and Sally should be able to go home

[Doc] Suddenly wilts a bit- annnnd I'm toast.

[gem] -flies past doc- no your a dragon

[Doc] I'm going to be dragon toast then...

[Deer]  Nuzzles Doc- You'll be fine

[Doc] The thought of facing him again makes me want to go hide near the bedrock layer.

[Deer] - Shhh, don't worry, CP is on our side

[CP] Just starts walking off-

[Herabrine] Hey Lj? Think we should get back to work?

[LJ] - ALright, this has been entertaining though

[Herabrine] Hell yeah. Good luck with the baby Splender.

[Splender] - It's so cute!

[LJ] Starts heading back to the circus-

[Herabrine] Floats along behind him-

[gem] -gets aqua back in the bucket before changing back into her dress- I should head back home.

[Doc] Yeah, it's gonna be dark soon anyway, I'm not in the mood for mob nonsense.

[Deer] - You know I'll keep them at bay love

[Steve] Mind if I tag along with you Doc? For safety reasons?

[Endrea] Gathers her children to take home-

[Doc] Of couse Steve. And I know my love- butts up against her with a purr. - Coming Splender?

[Splender] - Sure- He holds the baby dragon close to himself

[gem] -flies low back to her house-

[thunder0-0sage]

Summerbolt (manga script) - chapter 8

CHAPTER 8: CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!

 We see King and Exo on the cover as the one’s eating huge amounts of food from a massive pot while the other one’s looking at him, drooling with shining eyes to which the maniac responds with a mocking laughter.

‘Only the strongest and bravest ones will have the right to eat!! We’re both, right?! (Well, at least one of us is!!)’

  We see the trio Yuki-Hikaru-Seiren, standing in front of Hock and Gorudora, the mad genius and pervert gritting their teeth while their opponents are smirking villainously.

‘The class feud is not over and is now heading to a really dreadful direction! What casualties are there gonna be this time?!’

Seiren: ‘-If you want to fight the two of us, right here and right now, that’s fine with me!! I’ll wipe the floor with you myself, actually!!’

Gorudora: ‘-Don’t push your luck, kid! You’ll get your chance! We’re talking about a class battle. (Yuki is confused while Hikaru and Seiren are even more maddened) You said yourselves that you’ll do anything to protect her. Now fight to prove it!!’

Hock: ‘-Let’s see what your class can do as a whole against ours! Since Yuki and Ulura have already fought, though, they won’t be participating. Without your baby doll, you stand absolutely no chance of winning!!’ (Hikaru grins in a most destructive way, veins protruding all over his face while lightning bolts start jumping around him)

Hikaru: ‘-You’ve got it!! We accept your challenge on behalf of our class! Let’s see who’ll live till the end!!!’ (Yuki is waving with her hands next to him, terrified)

Yuki: ‘-Wow, wow, wait a minute! Nobody’s gonna die, Suru!!’

Seiren: ‘-Come at us, freaks! We’ll blast all of you to hell!!’

Gorudora: ‘-You won’t get off so easily this time!!’

Later on, we see the Summerbolts’ house, shaking from someone’s wild roar and then Yuki and Hikaru are seen, sitting in the living room, in front of whom is Saya (the one roaring wildly with a comical angry face) while Graid, Iziya and Rose are standing nearby with comical puzzled expressions, sighing in the same time.

Saya: ‘-You freakin’ idiots!! How could you agree to such a thing?!! Do you have any idea what a class battle means?!!’

Hikaru: ‘-I have a slight hint about it.’ (Saya pierces him with her burning gaze, making him freeze in comical horror)

Saya: ‘-You be quiet! You’ve never participated in something like this!!’

Yuki: ‘-How bad can it be? It’s just a small battle between students, right?’

Saya: ‘-IT’S NOT LIKE THAT AT ALL!!!!!!’ (the shock wave from her roar slams both of them in the wall, comically puzzling the rest of the Summerbolts behind the fiery mom, now even more comically angry)

Hikaru: ‘-What are you saying then?! Were we supposed to run?! A Summerbolt never runs from a fight and always faces the challenges of life head-on!!! You’ve taught me that!!! Stubbornness is our family’s main trait, isn’t it?!’

Saya: ‘-I understand that you want to fight, Suru, but this is too big for you guys. Leaving Ulura aside, there are many strong and capable deviants in her class. Most of the girls from your class can’t even fight. Yuki won’t be participating. The main fight is gonna be on you six boys’ shoulders.’

Hikaru: ‘-We’re totally gonna crush them!!!

If they can’t give up their pride because of their queen’s downfall that doesn’t mean we should give up ours when we’re being challenged!!!’

Saya: ‘-Anything goes in fights like this except for killing!! All the bastards from Ulura’s class are just as sadistic as her and they won’t hesitate one bit to maim your classmates. You and Sele think only of yourselves but even if you somehow manage to get out of it with only a few scratches, what will happen to the others? They’ll suffer because of your arrogance and foolishness!’ (Hikaru is saddened, looking aside while Yuki puts her hand on this shoulder and Saya sighs, joined by the rest of the Summerbolts)

Saya: ‘-It can’t be helped. It’s too late now. The only thing left to do is … (winks at the two with a flame in her eye) … TO PREPARE YOU FOR THE BLOODY MELEE!!!!’ (Yuki and Hikaru hug each other with comical terrified expressions)

Yuki, Hikaru: ‘-Scaryyyyyyyyyyy … !!!’ (Graid, Iziya and Rose slap their faces with their palms, comically desperate)

Iziya: ‘-Not again …’

Rose: ‘-Looks like she’s lost it completely …’ (Saya roars at her relatives, comically angry once again, throwing them out the house with the following shockwave)

Saya: ‘-I HEARD THAT!!!!’

Graid: ‘-What the hell was that foooooooooooooooooooooor?!!!?!’ (Saya then turns back to Yuki and Hikaru)

Saya: ‘-We start tomorrow morning!!! You better prepare yourselves for the most hellish time of your lives, brats!!!!’ (she says that with a monstrous grin while the two friends tremble in fear once again)

Hikaru: ‘-We’re doomed!!!’

Yuki: ‘-Why does this sort of stuff always happen to us?!’

The next morning the duo is seen doing push-ups in the Summerbolts’ yard, observed by Saya who’s shouting at both of them.

Saya: ‘-Yuki, you’re doing really great!!! That’s the spirit!! (turns to Hikaru with a destructive look) Hikaru, you fuckin’ piece of shit!!! You’re completely worthless, damn bastard!!!’ (Hikaru raises his head for a moment, looking at his mother)

Hikaru: ‘-Well, sorry, mom, but I’m not a superhuman like Yuki.’ (Saya leans to him, totally crushing his ears and brain with her angry roar)

Saya: ‘-Do I look like I care?!!? You will become one!!! I’ll make you a superhuman!!! Your deva alone isn’t enough!!! You need to enhance your physical abilities as well!!’

Yuki: ‘-Keep going, Suru! We won’t win if we don’t train!!!’

Hikaru: ‘-And why are you even training when you’re not gonna be in the fight?!’ (Yuki smiles in a cute way while continuing with the push-ups)

Yuki: ‘-A little work-out from time to time is very good for the health, right? That’s what King says.’ (Hikaru looks at her with a comical tortured and angry expression)

Hikaru: ‘-Good for you.’

Saya: ‘-Okay, that’s enough. (Hikaru falls on the ground half-dead while Yuki jumps up in a most lively way, helping him get up) Time for you to go to school. We’ll continue when you get back.’

Hikaru: ‘-I won’t be able to survive like this for much longer.’ (Saya turns to him with a burning gaze once again, making him freeze in horror)

Saya: ‘-Did you say something?!’ (Hikaru turns to her, still trembling)

Hikaru: ‘-Nope. Nothing at all.’

Then we hear Yuki talking about how her life in Deckstoru’s going.

Yuki: ‘-It was another typical morning in the Summerbolts’ house.

(Graid is throwing all kinds of dishes in different directions, stuffing his mouth with lots of food at the same time while Rose smasher her rocky fist in his head with a comical angry expression and Iziya passes by like a tornado, cleaning the floor quickly) For the short time I had spent with Hikaru’s family, I was getting along really well with all of them – Saya, his fiery mom (Hikaru lands next to Graid with a bolt and they start fighting and eating at the same time, smashed by the comically mad Saya’s burning fists), Iziya, his always distracted aunt (Iziya lands on the table as Yuki sits next to her and only then do they see that she’s destroyed some of the food with her tornado earlier, comically desperate), his uncle Graid, as strong as a rock, as fast as a flash and as idiotic as an infant (Graid goes around, gathering all the food on the ground with his superspeed and putting it in new dishes, throwing them in front of everyone, getting ready to sit down when he slips and falls on the ground, comically puzzled) and his grandmother that looks like a little girl, Rose. (Rose slaps her face with her palm while observing what her children are doing) Saya explained to me that the family has a special gene from her mother’s side that leads to an opposite change in appearance with the growing of age, so they become a lot younger rapidly. (later on, Yuki is seen walking between Hikaru and Seiren who are quarreling as usual making her sigh with a comical desperate expression) I get along with the perverted Seiren quite well, too because in spite of his passion for women he’s actually a great guy. He and Hikaru don’t see eye to eye that much, though. (the trio reaches ‘Sunbird’ High school, meeting their classmates in the classroom where everyone welcomes them with smiles and happy shouts) As for the rest of the boys from my class, they’re all great and the girls became my friends almost immediately. (suddenly Hikaru jumps at Vega and King who are laughing about something and Seiren and Tokura join the fight as well, dragging the comically desperate Exo with them, making the girls go and separate the fighting sides, only making the mess bigger while Yuki sighs with a slight smile) They tend to be pretty short-tempered but that’s exactly why I love them! (in the end, everyone’s laughing on the ground amidst the destruction when the class teacher, Tenji Line, steps inside the room, comically shocking the hot heads) They … and this whole city … everything around here is just so ALIVE. I love Deckstoru more than anything!!!’

When the lunch break comes, everyone goes to the canteen and this time the whole class is sitting together on three tables next to each other, looking with destructive anger at the members of Ulura’s class, gathered on the tables nearby, laughing mockingly and villainously.

King: ‘-I can’t wait to crush those damn motherfuckers!!!’ (Exo is crying with a comical desperate and scared expression at that time)

Exo: ‘-Suru, Sele, why did you involve everyone in this?! I don’t want toooooo!!!!’ (Tokura hits him in the head, slamming him on the floor with a comical angry face)

Tokura: ‘-Shut it, you cowardly nerd!!! We’re definitely going to take them apart!!!’

Vega: ‘-Someone has to free our school from their dominion, after all.’

Seiren: ‘-And that someone …’ (the five boys smile decisively as their elements start swirling around them)

Hikaru: ‘- … is going to be US!!!!’ (Exo jumps in front of the five, still comically scared)

Exo: ‘-I’m not gonna be a part of this!!! I’m too scareeeeeeeeeed!!!’

‘It doesn’t matter what they’re up against, Yuki’s schoolmates will always stand together (even though some of them don’t want to!!)!!!’

 THE END

[thunder0-0sage]

Summerbolt (manga script) - chapter 6

CHAPTER 6: IN ORDER TO WIN!

 We see Ulura on the cover, wearing a seductive black dress, folding her hands with a villainous and proud smile while green lasers are exploding behind and around her.

‘Never underestimate the power of this dark queen!! It may just be the last thing you’ll ever do in this life, pathetic insects!!!’

  An icy-laser explosion erupts when the two ladies’ fists clash, enveloping everything in light as only the outlines of their faces can be seen, gritting their teeth against the other one.

‘Their clash continues!! Will the despotic empress overwhelm the kind princess or will things go the other way around, now that the fury of both of them is burning more than ever?!!?!’

They throw their opponent back and as the smoke starts disappearing, Ulura launches to Yuki first, hitting her in the back when many ice spikes emerge from there, cutting the black-haired tyrant’s hand multiple times, shocking her and making Yuki smile.

Yuki: ‘-I bet you didn’t see that coming, did you?!’ (turns around, kicking her in the stomach, rolling her aside and destroying the ground around them)

The baby doll envelopes her entire body in an armor of ice shards, jumping to Ulura and preparing for a next attack when hundreds of lasers are shot at her, destroying some of the ice and her opponent teleports in front of her with a laser blast, enveloped in her element as well.

Ulura: ‘-You’re gonna pay for that, dolly!!’

Nightsong slams a small laser sphere in Yuki’s chest, kicking her up and even though Iceflame blocks her attack, as she starts to fall down she sees with shock that the sphere explodes in lots of laser shots, hitting her many times over and crushing her in a tree, burning it.

When the smoke there disappears, the baby doll jumps ahead, having completely lost her armor but holding two samurai swords in her hands, clashing them with the wave of laser disks, sent to her by Ulura.

In a few seconds, Yuki envelopes herself in ice blades and starts spinning very fast, creating an ice-blade tornado, destroying all the disks, reaching her opponent before she can act and crushing her very hard in the ground for tens of meters.

Yuki: ‘-Ice deva: Frozen samurai blade typhoon!!!’ (what’s left of the yard is destroyed with that attack as Yuki lands nearby, receiving everyone’s ovations)

Hikaru, Seiren: ‘-That’s our girl!!!!’ (Ulura appears amidst the smoke with a terrifying mad expression, lots of lasers spinning around her)

Ulura: ‘-If that’s how we’re gonna play, I’m gonna get serious, too!!! (launches ahead, transforming into a large laser drill in the shape of a dragon’s head, hitting Yuki’s huge ice wall and destroying it completely, enveloping everything in light once again) LASER DEVA: PIERCING DRAGON DRILL!!!!’

Vega: ‘-What the hell happened?!!’

King: ‘-I don’t know!! I can’t see either!!!’

When the light disappears, everyone sees how Yuki’s on her knees with multiple wounds and Ulura is gripping her head, pulling out her hair with a dreadful pleased smile, shocking everyone.

Ulura: ‘-Do you get it now, kid? I’m the strongest and greatest one around here!!! Get it through that thick skull of yours!!! (screws her eyes, now even more villainous)

I think I’ll have to maim you some more to ensure you’ll never dear to oppose me again, though.’

Seiren: ‘-Stop it already, Ulura!!!’

Hikaru: ‘-The fight is over!! Leave her alone!!!’ (Ulura turns to them for a moment, her gaze filled with killing intent)

Ulura: ‘-Shut the fuck up, you bastards!! I’ll deal with you soon enough. (hears a noise, turning aside and seeing how Yuki is trying to release herself from her grip, making her laugh in a most hideous way once again) Well, well, well! Looks like you’ve still got some fighting spirit left in you! Now I definitely can’t let you leave with just a disgrace!’

Yuki: ‘-Don’t you dare … (she lifts her head, monstrous hate and decisiveness burning in her eyes) … touch them!!!’ (Ulura looks at her with confusion and then grins villainously)

Ulura: ‘-So you care about those two, huh? And what exactly are you gonna do to me if I hurt them? Pathetic half-dead insect!!! (starts pulling her hair even more) You’re nothing, do you hear me?! NOTHING!!!!’ (lets her go, slapping her and letting her fall on the ground)

Yuki: ‘-Okay … I’m sorry for bumping in you earlier. It wasn’t on purpose.’ (Ulura looks at her with confusion)

Ulura: ‘-Why are you saying that now? Your apology won’t change anything, don’t you get it?!’ (Yuki manages to stand on her feet once again, throwing what’s left of her uniform aside, dressed in nothing but her underwear, making all the boys in the crowd lose it totally, shouting as much as they can and looking at her with love)

Seiren: ‘-There can hardly be a more beautiful sight than this in the whole universe!!!’ Tokura: ‘-Well done, princess!! You’re looking great!!’

Hikaru: ‘-Complete idiots!!!’ (hits both of them in the head with a comical angry face while only then does Yuki notice how she looks, blushing a lot and covering the most beautiful parts of her body with her hands as best as she can)

Yuki: ‘-No, please! Don’t stare at me like that!!’ (laser typhoons start forming nearby and then we see the mad Ulura, ripping what’s left of her clothes, now also in her underwear, exploding in huge amounts of her deva from all sides)

Ulura: ‘-You’ve crossed the line now!!! I was maddened by your insult earlier but to try and compete with me on sex appeal is beyond words!!!! (the boys start shouting and whistling even louder, more comically in love than ever)

The boys: ‘-Ulura-samaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! We love you!!!! Take her down!!!’

Hikaru: ‘-Yuki! (Yuki turns to him) Don’t be afraid and don’t be ashamed of yourself!! You’re the strongest and cutest girl for me and always will be!!! SEND THE FUCKIN’ BITCH TO HELL!!!!’

Seiren: ‘-WE’VE GOT YOUR BACK, SO NAIL HER HARD!!!!’ (Yuki smiles decisively while Ulura becomes angrier by the second)

Yuki: ‘-You’ve got it, boys!!!’

Ulura: ‘-Time to die, baby doll!!!’

Vega: ‘-This fight must continue for an eternity!!! The sexiest girls ever are fighting half-naked, after all!!!’

Ulura: ‘-Laser deva …’ (an explosion of ice spikes and blades erupts in front of Ulura and Yuki jumps from there, shocking her opponent and the whole crowd)

Yuki: ‘-I’ll beat you up later, Vega!!’

Smacks a triumphant fist in Ulura’s chin, sending her tens of meters up, appearing above her from another icy explosion, falling down and covering both her hands in ice to the elbows.

A long ice blade emerges above her left hand’s wrist and her right fist is covered in lots of super-sharp ice needles, cutting the bitch with the blade and hitting her with her needle-fist in the chest, launching her back on the ground, creating an incredible explosion and a crater in the remains of the yard. Then we see the defeated Ulura’s shocked face.

Ulura: ‘-I … I lost … it can’t be!!!’ (Yuki lands nearby with a decisive smile as everyone starts cheering more happily than ever)

Yuki: ‘-This one was for you, boys.’

Hikaru, Seiren, Vega, King, Exo, Tokura: ‘-YOU WERE AWESOME, YUKIIIIIIIII!!!!!!’

Everyone from the crowd goes to the victor except for the members of Ulura’s class who go to take care of their broken dark queen, already crying from desperation and shame.

Student 1: ‘-Ul, are you okay? Does it hurt anywhere?’ (lasers explode from Ulura’s eyes, launching her classmate many meters away with a huge laser shot)

Ulura: ‘-Shut the hell up, fuckin’ bastard!!!’

Student 1: ‘-But whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?!!?’

Student 2: ‘-Come on. Let’s take her and get out of here. The battle’s over and she was made fun of, as was our class.’

Student 3: ‘-I doubt Nepalo will forgive her for this.’ (one of the boys takes her in his arms, walking aside with the rest of the class)

Ulura: ‘-Shut up … all of you … just shut up!! She … and her whole class … they’ll pay for this … !!’

As all the other students are about to reach Yuki, she blinks tiredly and falls, caught by Hikaru in the last moment, as their eyes meet, both of them smiling to each other.

Hikaru: ‘-You were great, Yu. I’m so proud of you.’

Yuki: ‘-Thanks.’ (Seiren lands next to the two, hugging both of them over the shoulder)

Seiren: ‘-Looks like our champion is a little too tired, huh?’ (Yuki nods barely, still smiling)

Yuki: ‘-Yeah. It was a tough battle.’

King: ‘-That was one hell of a fight, Yuki! I was totally blasted! You’re great, girl!!’ (Hikaru and Seiren help Yuki to get up again, leaning on both of them while the girls from their class gather around them)

Annabel: ‘-Don’t worry, Yuki. I’ll take care of you in no time! It’s the least I can do to thank you.’ (she holds both of Yuki’s hands and bluish-green energy goes from her body into the baby doll’s, confusing her while most of her wounds heal completely)

Yuki: ‘-Thank me? For what? I’m the one who should be thanking you.’

Annabel: ‘-Ulura was terrorizing everyone in school, including the people from her own class. Everyone hated her but till today no one had managed to beat her.’

Seiren: ‘-You changed everything today, Yu!! You stunned everyone!! That bitch will think twice before trying to lay her hands on someone from our school!!’

Exo: ‘-After all, her reputation crumbled completely. To be beaten by the new girl is the greatest shame ever for someone like her.’ (Tokura moves closer to Yuki with a perverted smile)

Tokura: ‘-And besides, you showed everyone you’re sexier than her, on all levels!!’ (Yuki blushes and covers her body once again while the boys start beating up Tokura before he can react, dragging him back)

Yuki: ‘-Are you ever gonna stop staring at me like that?!!’

Seiren: ‘-Breasts, ass, legs, hands, belly … there’s a lot of potential in you, alright.’ (Yuki screams, most ashamed and all red)

Yuki: ‘-Stop discussing my body!!!!’

The boys catch up to the girl’s group as King drags the beaten up Tokura behind him while some of the girls give Yuki their clothes to cover herself up and then everyone else from the school jumps to her. They’re all congratulating or thanking her while she scratches her head with a shy smile, turning to different people asking her different things at the time.

Yuki: ‘-No, I haven’t done anything so special, really. I just … (an orb of light appears above the yard, exploding in flames and a phoenix comes out of it, spreading its wings with a loud noise, terrifying everyone, running in different directions from panic)

Huh?! What is that?!! Is that a phoenix?!’

Exo: ‘-It’s the headmasteeeeer!!! I told you guys we’re all gonna die and it’s definitely gonna be today!!!’ (everyone looks at each other with desperation while the creature lands on the ground, screwing its eyes in a threatening way)

‘The students’ greatest nightmare has appeared!! What will the punishment for the wild bunch lead by Yuki be?!!’

 THE END